#the countdown this year has been really hard for me bc im so busy but im really happy with what i created on the most part!

[starwarned]

@carryon-countdown 2021

Day 30, 24 December: Flames

rated T, 879 words, general tags: kissing, fluff, pitch manor, literally no plot just boys being soft :)

Finish reading under the cut!

SIMON

Baz’s arm is under my back and his fingers are splayed along my hip. It’s not a hold of necessity where he’s protecting me or holding me back. It’s not a tight grip to keep me from leaving him again.

He’s just holding me.

I turn and nuzzle my nose into his jaw.

Baz stirs a bit and I realize he was asleep.

“Have you ever fallen asleep on this carpet before?” I ask teasingly, my voice low and soft.

The room is dark and warm — Baz and I are curled up next to the fireplace where the flames barely jump up past the wood burning there. Pitch Manor’s always dark, but never have I felt this at home here. We’ve spent the evening alone in his childhood bedroom, snogging and cuddling and eating leftovers from Christmas dinner the night before.

Laughing a bit, Baz reaches across himself to tousle my hair. “No, Simon, I can safely say this is the first time. I’ve got a very comfortable bed ten feet away.”

“Then why aren’t we in your very comfortable bed?”

“Because the fire’s warm,” he breathes, kissing my cheek, then my jaw, then my chin, and then finally my mouth. I press my tongue against his teeth and he lets me feel his fangs, investigating them with careful use of the tip of my tongue.

“I’ll keep you warm,” I insist, pulling away from his mouth to put my fingers on his lip and tug it up slightly to get a better look at his fangs.

Baz scoffs but doesn’t argue with me (about keeping him warm or me inspecting his fangs).

“I will,” I continue. I sit up, curling myself over him and settling into his lap, sitting back against his hips. He’s lying on his back on the rug, but he tucks his knees up so I can rest my lower back against his thighs. “I’ll keep you warm.”

“The fire’s already doing a pretty good job, love,” Baz says, just a hint of teasing in his raised eyebrow.

It’s a challenge.

One I’m happy to succumb to.

I go to finish unbuttoning his shirt and undo the last four buttons (he’s been wearing them more and more open recently). I slide my warm hands up his cool torso and find that the side nearest the fire is marginally warmer than the other.

I lean down to press my mouth against his chest. I kiss along his skin, finding places that hitch his breath or make him whine with every pass of my lips. (Of course, I know all of these spots on Baz really well at this point.) (That doesn’t make it any less exciting to be doing this.)

Baz murmurs my name softly and I look up at him, idly pinching at one of his nipples as I trace my tongue over the other.

“Warm enough?” I ask, grinning.

Not quite affected enough to avoid bantering with me, Baz mutters, “Would be warmer if you’d kept my shirt on.”

“But then I couldn’t do this,” I say. I wrap both hands around his hips and then start to suck harshly at the skin just above his left nipple, applying pressure with my tongue and suction with my mouth, worrying the skin with my teeth.

Baz whimpers.

When I pull back, he’s got a mark there. It’ll last maybe an hour if I’m lucky.

“You could still do that with my shirt on.”

I laugh. I’m too delighted at being here with Baz to be annoyed with him being obtuse. “Not anywhere discreet,” I counter.

“Who says I want discreet?” he shoots back. Maybe it’s just the light from the flames, but his cheeks look flushed.

Raising my eyebrows, I sit up on his lap again. My hands drag over his stomach softly, rubbing in the way he likes. “Careful there, darling, people are going to think you’re soft on me.”

“I’ve always been soft on you,” Baz whispers. He doesn’t break eye contact with me for even a second.

“What about when you pushed me down the stairs?” I demand.

“It was an accident! I’ve told you to stop bringing it up!”

“I’ll stop bringing it up when you let me push you down the stairs!”

We both break into laughter and I collapse against his chest, my face pressing into his neck.

“You could push me down the stairs if you really wanted,” Baz murmurs. And I know he means it to be a nice thing — a silly nice thing that a regular boyfriend would say to his partner, but it sort of makes me sad. I frown and kiss his neck. I watch him swallow.

“I don’t want to do that,” I say quietly. “I don’t want to ever hurt you again.”

“You won’t.”

I shake my head. “You’ve dealt with too much pain.”

“So have you,” Baz whispers, carding his fingers through my hair and settling his hand on the back of my neck softly.

I have — we both have. There’s so much pain in both of our pasts. But I look into the fire now, eyeing the way the flames dance and the shadows they cast against the wall. And I think about all the love in our future.

[im-driving-myself-crazy]

the covid birthday drama

so heres the tea

on new years eve i hung out with morgan and aliena. we ate at a nice restaurant, stopped at a boba shop, and went to morgans house to watch encanto

this entire time, aliena had a cough. she said that she was pretty sure it wasnt covid bc of other symptoms

i had a good time with them. i enjoyed the food and the movie and the company. we did the countdown and popped some bubbly wine

the next day i get a message from aliena

"hey, turns out my cough was from me being covid positive so I wanted to let you know😭"

it sucks, but i get it. i stay quarantined the next few days and avoid people and places

div asked me if i wanted to hang out on the 8th. i told him that id love to but that i may have had a covid exposure and that id take an at-home test and get back to him with the results. it wasnt my business to talk about aliena's health like that, so i stayed vague on the 4th, i ask mom if i can take the test we have at home, and she says that i can in a bit as it takes a few days for covid to appear in your system on the 6th, i tell div that ill take the test that night on the 7th, i ask mom where the covid test is. she says that its hard to buy covid tests anymore and that im fine and that i dont need to take it.

im not happy and this puts a wrench in my plans bc i dont want to get div sick. so, because i do feel fine and because div has the right to make his own health decisions, i give him all the details.

"Mom won't let me take the Covid test we have in the house and she says I'm fine. so idk 🤷 if u want to trust that or play it safe."

then, because he needs to know the date and length of my exposure, i text him

"Aliena said she was covid positive after New Years, so that was the exposure I was talking about. I won't be offended if you'd rather play it safe"

i felt bad telling him, as its not my news to share, but i felt like knowing the full circumstances was something that he deserved. he said that i was fine, and that he'd see me tomorrow.

on the 8th, he picked me up in his mustang and drove me to his apartment, telling me we have a reservation at a nice restaurant in an hour. when we open the door, two voices scare me from the dark. Ania and Christina (and Morgan, who had temporarily ducked into the next room) had been waiting for me. div had kindly thrown me a surprise party.

after a bit, lauren showed up and div picked up Phat Eatery and we all made the trip over to Lauren's apartment. they had gotten me cake, christina had gotten me a preset, and ania baked cookies (she said she originally baked a cake but it turned out poorly so she made cookies instead and picked up a (really nice) cake on the way)

we ate and sat on the couches, and that's when they told me the tea. aliena was supposed to be at my surprise party that day, but div had no idea she had tested covid positive. he messaged her and asked her when she got tested, and she said that she had been tested on the 29th of December!! That means she knew that she had covid BEFORE we hung out. BEFORE we were at Morgan's house for HOURS where none of her family is vaccinated and he dad is immunocompromised. she knew when she visited the restaurant and the boba shop with all of those people. she knew when we removed our masks to hang out. she had a cough and she just let her germs get everywhere

and its one (still bad) thing to go to the store and infect people you dont know, but ME??? you care so little about MY health that you cough all over me??? you care so little about your friends that you get all of THEM sick???

i wasnt in the planning group message, so this is all hearsay: after i told div about aliena, he messaged her in the group they had for the party. he said that he had found out that she had covid and (apparently very nicely) uninvited her. in response she disagreed and then left the group. she posted on a 'private' insta account (that lauren and ania both follow) and apparently vague-posted things about how awful her friend was being, and that it wasn't fair that she's being punished for something she had no control over, and that it wasnt anybody elses business if she had covid or not (which i agree with, until you go to hang out with people, then it is 100% their business to make that decision). of course ania and lauren told div what she had been saying

div's message is how ania found out. ania's sister, aga, just had a baby on new years eve. aga is staying with her parents and ania, so ania is helping to take care of the baby and can't risk an exposure. thats why ania didnt hang out with us on new years eve. not only was aliena willing to infect ania by hanging out with her at my party, that very morning she was planning on going into anias house. where she could infect the baby (not to mention anias elderly parents). directly. her selfishness could have easily killed a baby. i am so glad i decided to tell div. i cant imagine how awful i would have felt if she had been here. how ania would have had to stop interacting with her niece.

we talked for a bit about other instances of her being selfish and how a lot of what we attribute to her being socially unaware can instead be attributed to her being selfish. i think we're going to pull back on inviting aliena to things, at least for a bit.

~~~~~~

additional thoughts:

i was so happy to see ania, i really thought i wouldnt be able to see her over break and i was so sad.

morgan also had no idea that aliena knew on the 29th

christina got me a succulent and named it egg

i love my friends

final thought is that, as i didnt actually see div and aliena's DMs, that she might have said that the 29th is when she got tested (and got her results on the 1st), which could have been misconstrued to her knowing on the 29th. either way, everything after the 1st is unacceptable

1/20/2022     10:47pm

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (40)

Anonymous said: Holy frick that is so encouraging and I needed that so much bc I literally visited my college to measure my dorm room and drove home in tears bc I panicked myself into a frenzy about whether or not everything leading me to this point has been a mistake and what if I fail and ruin my life before it even starts (I have since calmed down a little) so your encouragement was much needed & is much appreciated

I’m glad I could help <3 <3 <3 Good luck at school! I’m sure you’ll kick its ass

areverieofchaosdreams said: It's Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day. So thank you for all your amazing stories!!!

Oh goodness I’m all a blushin :’)

Anonymous said: *HAPPY WRITER APPRECIATION DAY* Send this to someone whose talent has blown you away, who you'd like to encourage to keep on writing always, and who you'd like to thank for working their butt off to provide fandom members with breathtaking stories to consume! THANK YOU :D

Aw thank you!

Anonymous said: Hi! I Hope you're well! Do you still take fic requests? Because I really miss Colin Wilkes and I'd love to a story of him with your writing!

Unfortunately I don’t often take requests these days, but I’ll definitely keep Colin in mind!

dirtycherrypie said: hey! applying for WE for the R&D department (may or may not be aware of producing bat gadgets)

dirtycherrypie said: SHit forgot my name - Bea, at your service!

[Bruce Wayne voice] hired

tigers-and-weeds said: Literally just fell down the rabbit hole on your tumblr for the last 12-24 hours. I am in love with with you headcannons and fics! The angst feeds my soul... So I figured I would request: anything angsty with Dick and Damian please please please

Okay again I don’t usually take fic requests BUT I like me some angst so the odds that this will eventually happen.... are extremely high. I’ll try to remember to dedicate the next one to you :) And thank you!

math--ew said: I went on a little birthday vacation to california and I've never been to the beach before. I was bending down to grab a pretty shell and this huge wave knocked me face first into the sand. Like, five people saw and laghed but I got the shell so I guess it's a win win.

Duuuude back at Lake Michigan last month the same thing happened to me. I was taking care of my little sister and her five year old friend, so I was so busy making sure they were okay that the wave plowed me halfway across the beach

babybatbrat said: when i was in ap physics i once spent an entire study period in my physics teacher's room working on one problem. as far as i could tell i was doing all of the work correctly and had all the initial values right so i was racking my brain trying to figure out why i wasn't getting the right answer. the third time i went up to my teacher and asked for help he told me to start at the beginning and walk him through my process bc he couldn't tell why i was getting it wrong either (1)

babybatbrat said: (2) so i start the problem and explain how i got through all the values - "okay so the rod is 5 inches long and half of 5 is 3 and a half -" and i stopped there bc it occurred to me that 3.5 is not half of 5. "it's what?" My teacher asks. i put my head in my hands and stood there for a minute before picking up my work and walking to the back of the classroom while he laughed, bc i had just spent 45 minutes convinced that half of 5 was 3.5 and not, in fact, 2.5, and that was the only thing wrong

Honestly??? Relatable

babybatbrat said: One time i woke up at six in the morning to hear the neighbor's dog barking and instantly realized that meant my dog had jumped the fence, so i went racing outside and sprinted down the street to catch her. when i did i picked her up and turned around to go home and then saw my neighbor standing on their front porch, realized i was in only an oversized spiderman tshirt and snowman pajama shorts, holding a twenty pound labrador and thats how i met my new neighbors

Incredible...... 10/10.....

thrakaboom said: Not a funny story,but two days ago at comic con I met Tom King and he showed me a picture of his kids while he was signing my books

Well hey that’s pretty cool

Anonymous said: I adore your Tumblr. It was a wonderful way to get into the Batfamily fanbase; prior, I thought that there was only one Batman and a single Robin, dearie me was I wrong. And those stories you write, just great. The Headcanons are just as enjoyable. As for Batman, that has come to be a sibling enjoyment. Thank you for your contributions and existence!

!!!!!! Welcome to the crew!

frnkensteingrrrlz said: hey!!! i just went through ur reasons to be happy tag and!! i'm so so happy bc of it (esp the damian hcs, they're spot on imo and he's my favourite) so i hope u have a good day!!!

Thanks! I am having a good day today! Although I’m sure it’s been a long time since you sent this :////

Anonymous said: HELLO I have just discovered and binge-read all of your fics with my homeboy Damian in them, and just wanted to pop by and say that I love you & you are my hero & you write my boy so well so thank u and I hope your life is blessed & you achieve your wildest hopes & dreams

My day is made :D

badfaith00 said: Best batman storyline you've ever read ?

Ooooooh hm I’m mighty attached to n52 Batman and Robin? Particularly the first storyline, but the second is also fantastic

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHAMELESSLY REBLOGGING YOUR OWN WORK BC I HADNT SEEN IT BEFORE AND ITS HONESTLY SO PHENOMENAL ITS GOING ON MY LIST OF ALL TIME FAVORITES THANK U AND BLESS U

THANK YOU!!! THAT ONE IS MY FAVORITE AND I AM VERY PROUD OF IT

onwardmotley said: In today's Detective Comics someone finally told Bruce and co that Tim's alive. They didn't explain where he is, or how to get him back, but hey. It might've had more impact if anyone was seen actually mourning Tim and it wasn't just played as him being in cosmic time out, but at least it should end soon idk. Hopefully.

Tim Drake? It’s been years since I heard that name.....

Finally. Thank goodness.

Anonymous said: Idk if I prefer your soul crushing angst or your heartwarming fluff... actually I like to suffer so I'll stay with angst lol

Y’all seeing this? Anon gave me permission. Can’t yell at me next time because it won't be my fault (thanks babe :))

Anonymous said: for music, idk what kind of music u like so here is variety: St. Vincent - Paris is Burning, Sea Wolf - Dear Fellow Traveler (tbh everything by Sea Wolf is great), Dirt Poor Robins - Eleanor Rigby, Between Wind and Water- HAEL, Ellem - Kings and Queens and Vagabonds, The Rigs - Rise & Fall, Tally Hall - Light and Night, and Streetlight Manifesto - The Hands that Thieve.

Thank you! I’m excited to listen to these! I’ll start right now!

Anonymous said: 1) What are the good comics to read for Batfamily stuff (from any point in time) and 2) what are the best Jason Todd comics? Thanks!

Okay for Jason I would definitely start with the big ones, which are A Death In the Family and Under the Red Hood. After that you could try Red Hood: the Lost Days and Countdown to Final Crisis. I would avoid the n52 series until you have a good enough grasp of the character to recognize bad writing when you see it. 

For the generalized batfam.... that’s pretty broad. My personal favorites are Red Robin, Batgirl (2009), and both B&R series. If you have more specific questions, you should IM me! I promise I’m better about answering those than asks

yellowwallsbluesky said: Have you heard Swooner by The Zolas? I've really been jamming to it lately

Listening to it right now! Sounds like a bop so far :)

Anonymous said: Hidden citizens paint it black 💜

Much obliged!

Anonymous said: Harry styles "sign of the times".

[adds to list] thank you!

neo669 said: I MISS CASA OLE!! Sorry just read that you lived in Bryan/College Station and I used to live there as well. It's kinda hard to find people that even know that it exists. But I'm sure you can kick law schools butt. You got this!

Yooooooo I miss cstat too :((((

palliddark said: Adalgiza, and I'll be a translator (English to Brazilian Portuguese)

[Bruce Wayne voice] also hired

maeofthedead said: I love your headcannons and now I sort of want to cry thank

Excellent that is the exact target response 

Anonymous said: Love your rant in the tags about the pizza making I'm laughing so hard

Listen..... I have strong feelings

Anonymous said: Did you hear they're making an omnibus of Tomasi's entire run on Batman & Robin?? I just heard and now I kinda want to get this massive book in honor of my favorite batkid and the series that made me love him so much

Man I already have all the individual volumes but if I didn’t......

sonicboom00724601 said: Hi. :) Nice headcanon. :)

I’m not sure which one you’re talking about, but thank you! You're real sweet

Anonymous said: can you maybe write an interaction between Wonder Woman and Captain America? I absolutely adore your style and would love to see your take on it.

Hmmmm I don’t really have a good enough grasp of Captain America’s characterization to try that one :////

Anonymous said: i tried to kill on mosquito that was on my ceiling by slamming it with a book but mosquito was on the move so i bounced swiftly and jammed both my wrist and thumb and now my existence is Pain. also my thumbs swelling and looks purple, so that's nice

Oh shit anon you good???

daziy said: Do we know who Barbara's mother usually is?

Yeah! In her original version, Babs had a birth mom and an adopted mom. She was originally Jim’s niece, so her birth mom’s name was Thelma Gordon. After the adoption, her parents were Jim and Barbara Gordon, with her adopted mother being her namesake. So two Barbara Gordons.

I think for awhile the canon was that her mother died in a car crash, but the current version has her still alive. She left Jim when Babs was young, taking her son (Babs’s brother) with her. James Gordon (the son) turned out to be a serial killer. 

Barbara Gordon Sr. and James Gordon Jr. both appeared in the n52 Batgirl series during the Death of the Family arc. There’s also a very good story about James from the Dickbats period. That one’s called The Black Mirror, if I’m not mistaken?

Anonymous said: Hi! What do you think of the upcoming metal event? Dick and Damian seem to have a big role in it ( I hope Jason is involved too but there's still no sign of it)

Hmmmm I don’t know that I have an opinion just yet, but as always, I hope to be pleasantly surprised 

Anonymous said: bless you are your wonderful tagging system. know that i may have avoided death because of how easy it was to f ind the thing I wanted in your tags. bless

Oh goodness anon I hope you’re not serious about almost dying.... but thanks?

Anonymous said: hi amy! would u say that damians narrative is written as a child abuse one? like there are definitely many allusions to it but its also not as explicit as say, cassandra or rose. like how much of it would u chalk up to comic world dynamics and how much to actual abuse? also would u consider jason to also be a case of this?

Oh I have very strong opinions about the role of abuse in Damian’s narrative. It’s absolutely there, and the effects are staggeringly large. There is no doubt in my mind that the league was an abusive environment, and I can’t justify some of the things Bruce did either.

I think I would say the same thing for Jason, if not quite as strongly. I definitely think that some of the things that happened to Jason as a child shaped his story later on, but less of those were abuse than outside circumstances. The n52 takes a different track on that one, I think, but I don’t put much stock in that characterization. 

Anonymous said: has jason forgiven bruce for not killing joker? if so, what made him?

Unlikely. They get along better these days, but I would argue that comes from poor characterization of Bruce, not an actual resolution process. 

mellenabrave said: My mom accidentlly threw my Damian doll away (╥_╥)

Tossed in the garbage by yet another parent--

Anonymous said: Whoa where'd you get that bat and oracle shirt you're wearing in your necklace pic? It's so cool! (The necklace is also gorgeous!)

Shoot I think it was from Redbubble? But I can’t find it now

Anonymous said: Omg that necklace was so cool!!! Kudos to the maker of it!! Also I really like your top!!

Thank you <3