#the consent is a bit dubious but not even a top 5 problem

[no-nic]

meeting "sukea" at a bar, no way this can go wrong ^^

#rei and tobi au; a bit of a fix-it, a bit of a ruin-it-differently

[sidespart]

The Fall of King Romulus Chapter 7

Summary: Twin Princes Remus and Romulus are cursed at birth with Honesty and Obedience. When Romulus, who cannot disobey any order, is told to kill his brother the next time he lays eyes on him, he changes his name to Roman and runs away. Roman joins up with a misfit group of adventures and plans to never return to his homeland. But the fae have other plans for him…

Warnings (for whole fic not necessarily individual chapters): Violence, mind whammying/memory altering, curse of obedience related consent issues, references to sex, references to war related injuries/PTSD, references to child abuse/neglect (YMMV on that one but just in case), antagonstic-but-not-exactly villian!Janus, Extremly-moraly-dubious-but-not-exacty-unsympathetic-Remus

Feedback appreciated.

NOW ON AO3 :D

Prologue Chapter 1   Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

The grey man was dead.

The grey man looked like he had been dead for some time.

What little skin he had remaining hung loosely from the bone. The eye sockets were empty, the patches of remaining hair were stringy and dirty. The skull had caved in around the crossbow bolt, revealing an awful wriggling mass of maggots on the inside. The stench of rotting flesh, which Roman had only been able to smell up close before, now filed the room, making him gag.

Roman squeezed his eyes shut, wishing desperately for whatever glamour had made it so hard to see the details of the grey man’s face to return. He griped Mittens’ soft fur tightly with his good hand, earning him a disgruntled meow.

“What the fuck.” A voice muttered.

Unseen by Roman, a figure emerged from the doorway. One with skin bleached white under the lamp light and eyes that seemed to glow an unnatural shade of violet. Most of him was hidden under a dark cloak, save for the fearsome looking crossbow he held at his hip.

Had there been anyone left to see, Virgil would no doubt have made an intimidating sight. At least until he reached out one foot to poke at the grey man's body and recoiled with an undignified ‘eeeeeew!’ when the flesh gave way easily under the pressure.

Virgil had served more years then he cared to remember in the Finaley’ed army. He had seen many dead bodies. That did not make it any better to hear one squelch.

“Okay.” He called, “Okay, the coast is clear and I shot a dead guy.”

Roman heard a second pair of footsteps approaching before a new voice asked: “Did you retrieve the bolt?”

“The bolt that is covered in maggots? No. No I did not.”

“That’s a waste of resources.”

“That is not my main problem with the corpse in the basement Loga- no don’t touch it!”

“This looks like several months of decay- but there’s no surrounding detritus – do you think they moved it here? For what purpose?”

“I don’t care! Maybe it’s just…some, some unlucky bath house guy that got left down here. Who knows! Just help me find the damm cat.”

“Ah yes,” Roman could hear the disdain in Logan’s voice, “The magic cat.”

On the ground, obscured from their view by the network of pipes, Roman kept his eyes firmly shut. So long as his eyes were shut, he was listening to Logan and Virgil’s bickering and was seconds away from rescue.

But what if he opened his eyes and they weren’t there?

Julius had been found of testing his curses’ limits in this area. He would order Romulus to ‘see’ imaginary monsters in the shadows and then have him describe them. Or to recount conversations that never happened. Or to forget ones that had. None of this research had ever been particularly successful - he couldn’t be ordered to alter reality, even in the privacy of his own head – but Julius had never quite given up on it.

What if he had found a way to make it work?

Roman could hear his own heartbeat, the fast paced thump melding with the rush of water in the pipes that surrounded him, making his head throb and his whole body tremble.

What if it wasn’t Virgil and Logan there at all? What if it was Niki and Marcus back again, or Lucius himself, or no one at all?

What if it wasn’t even Julius doing it, just his own pain-addled mind playing tricks on him?

Romulus bit back a whimper, squeezing his arms tight around his middle.

This was too much for Mittens, who let out a yowl of protest and wriggled out of Roman’s grip.

“Oh!” He gasped, eyes flying open “Sorry!”

Mittens ignored his apology, scampering away through the open door and disappearing into the gloom of the corridor. There was a shout, a sudden rush of footsteps and a loud clang followed by a short curse as someone tripped on one of the pipes running along the floor.

And then two men were standing over him. Twin expression of relief morphing quickly into concern.

Virgil swallowed hard, the healers eyes flicking rapidly over each visible injury before meeting Roman’s own.

“Hey there Princy.” Virgil said softly.

***

The journey back through the corridors was a lot slower than their journey in. At least Logan had managed to retrieve one of the lanterns from the maintenance room so he was no longer relying on clinging to the back of Virgil’s cape to navigate.

When they had initially followed the….cat….to the bathhouse they’d thought their luck was beginning to change. It was coronation day, all businesses were closed; it should have been an easy matter to sneak in. When Virgil had scaled the opposing buildings for some roof top reconnaissance however he had come back grim faced – the upper floors were full of soldiers.

The design on their uniform matched the symbol Lucy had drawn the night before, and that Logan had identified in the library that morning. It belonged to the house of Orenlla in Notaleveale. It was not three ‘Vs’ as Lucy had thought, but a stylised version of the three largest peaks on the Sarindu mountain range, which marked the border between Notaleveale and the middle kingdoms. The man she had seen had apparently been wearing his clasp upside down.

Despite his success, Logan had left the library disappointed. Ornella was a noble house in Notaleveale but not one significant enough to warrant a permanent residence in the middle kingdom city of Steveange. It was surely possible to find out where the contingent were staying – the townsfolk seemingly obsessed with the movement of the visiting nobility- but the librarians he spoke to all gave different suggestions, if any at all. Checking every possible address was going to take days.

As desperate as Logan had been feeling, at least he didn’t return to the meeting point with a cat.

Patton had gone to see the crone – or ‘Mama Tay’, as she apparently insisted Patton call her - who had no new information as to where Roman had gone or why he had left, but who had offered to help find him anyway.

Using her cat.

(“I don’t like it.” Virgil said.

“Thank you Virgil.” Logan said, relived to find at least one of his companions hadn’t lost their minds.

“It’s blood magic”

“It’s a CAT!”)

Apparently, when Mittens had scratched Roman at the crone’s – Mama Tay’s – house, it had collected enough blood for a simple locator spell. And Patton, bless him, had agreed to swap a bushel of fresh food from the market for an hours use of the magical bard seeking cat.

Logan had despaired.

Logan wasn’t quite ready to eat his words (dogs could be trained to track blood scents couldn’t they? Why not a cat? There was a reasonable explanation somewhere, surely) but even he had to admit, Mittens had been a lot more successful than any of them.

After Virgil had returned from the rooftop shaking his head, Mittens had meowed piteously until they followed him to a side street, where thin slits set at ground level vented hot air from the bathhouse basement. The cat had slipped in easily, and after a few minutes debate, Logan and Virgil had wiggled their way in after.

They’d used a rope to reach the ground, finding themselves at the base of a set of stairs. There was a soft glow at the top, presumably the main floor of the house, enough to illuminate Mittens’ tail as he trotted off deeper into the basement.

It was only Virgil’s night vision that prevented them from breaking their necks on the next set of stairs, but eventually they had made their way to the a well-lit and uncomfortably warm maintenance room.

And to Roman.

An injured Roman. A glassy-eyed Roman who could barely stand and started shivering as soon as they left the heat of the room.

“He’s going into shock.” Virgil muttered, fixing his cape around Roman’s shoulders. He pulled it tight, wrapping the ends securely, but making Roman whimper in pain. Not knowing what to do, Logan just held the lantern higher. It illuminated the cut on Roman’s sallow face, and the bruises that surrounded it. Bruises which continued over his shoulders and no doubt down his back. Logan had seen the stick, lying next to the corpse, it’s end strained with blood from where the skin had split.

Stupidly, he wished he’d taken the time to break it into a hundred little pieces.

When they reached the first set of stairs, they paused to let Roman catch his breath. His breathing was shallow and he slumped heavily against Logan’s side.

Logan had once watched Roman hop on one foot for almost a mile rather than swallow his pride and admit he needed help. Logan exchanged a glance with Virgil, not bothering to keep the panic from his face.

Virgil let out a long exhale an reached over to squeeze Logan’s shoulder reassuringly, shifting himself to take some of the bard’s weight.

“He’s not going to be able to climb out the way we came in.” Virgil murmured.

“Obviously.” Logan nodded.

That was okay. They had a plan B.

As if on cue, a distant roar rang out above them, followed by quite a lot of screaming.

“Issat Patton?” Roman asked, staring into the darkness with unfocused eyes.

“Mmhmm”, Virgil leaned over and pushed some of Roman’s damp hair away from his face. “He was meant to come get us if we weren’t out in twenty minutes. I think he’s early.”

“There’s at les’ a dozen of ‘em.” Roman slurred “Niki said.”

“Patton can handle it.” Virgil said firmly, though his eyes flickered to the ceiling, betraying his nervousness. “Can you walk?”

Roman nodded, though he needed both their help to actually manage it. It was painfully slow going, with Roman unsuccessfully trying to hide a wince of pain with each step.

The first flight of stairs was relatively short, but by the time they had reached the top Roman’s shaking was so bad it was making Logan’s own teeth rattle. Still, they pressed on, almost dragging the bard between them to the base of the much larger set of stairs that would take them to street level.

Here the noises from the floor above were much louder – the clash of steel on steel reverberating down the stairs.

Logan stared at the next obstacle, uncertain. There were what amounted to five flights, with a small flat platform at each turning point. There was a banister running each side of the stairs, but it was missing in several places. What was there didn’t look like it would hold much weight.

Above them, there was an enormous crash followed by a bellow of almost inhuman rage.

“Frog mode?” Roman asked drowsily.

“Frog mode.” Virgil said grimly.

The berserkers of Krutova painted their faces with the green and blue mud from the rivers and swamps that saturated their forest home. Legend said they could lie in wait for hours, hidden under the water, using hollow reeds to breath before leaping out on unsuspecting enemies with a monstrous frenzied rage, dragging their opponents to a watery grave – assuming they didn’t, quite literally, rip them apart first.

Logan had never seen Patton paint his face. And the big man did not like to talk about his time at war. But Logan had seen him fight off more than a dozen men in a bar brawl without breaking a sweat. He’d once seen him wrestle a wild boar just for fun.

Still. The men upstairs were trained guardsmen, not drunks. And they were armed. And it had only been a small boar.

Virgil was clearly having similar thoughts, his fingers twitching against his side, his eyes constantly flickering up and then back towards Logan and Roman. .

“Go.” Logan said, “We’ll follow you.”

Virgil hesitated, but Roman nodded, straightening up as much as he could “We’ll be righ’ behin’ you. Go help dad.”

Virgil dithered a moment more and then let out all his breath in a rush, reaching for the crossbow strapped to his back.

“Okay just. Go slow. We’ll come get you when the coast is clear.” he waited until they both nodded before turning and all but leaping up the stairs. Roman held his pose until he was out of sight and then collapsed once more against Logan’s side.

The scholar adjusted his grp on the lantern, and hooked his other arm over Roman’s back. With a grunt of effort, the bard managed to sling his left arm over Logan’s shoulder, leaving his uninjured hand free to grip the rickety banister. Logan squeezed, holding him tightly. Roman groaned as he pressed against the bruises and welts that coated his back but Logan held firm.

“One step at a time.” the younger man said softly. “Okay?”

Panting, Roman nodded, giving Logan a sickly lopsided grin.

The staircase spiralled five times before reaching the top floor. They made it round twice before trouble found them.

“You.” The man growled.

The man standing between them and freedom was generically handsome, with large eyes and a strong jaw. He had a passing resemblance to Roman; with the same dark reddish brown hair and tanned skin. He wore a doublet of pink and navy, with the three peaked mountains embroidered in gold thread.

“Luc’-“ Roman gasped out, “don’t-“

“Shut up!” the Marquis de Orenlla snapped. He held a wicked looking dagger in one hand, eyes ablaze. “Is there no end to your duplicity? You foul traitor, I should have you hanged!“

Also like Roman, he seemed to favour being loud over being coherent.

With a grunt, Roman removed his injured arm from Logan’s shoulder and clung to the banister.

“Go!” he shouted to Logan.

Logan spared him an exasperated glance and threw the lantern at the Marquis head.

He went down with a screech, rolling back and forth on the small platform to put the flames dancing on his embroidery. The dagger skirted away and over the edge of the platform.

“You go.” Logan snapped at Roman, pulling out his sword and stepping between the two men.

Technically it was Roman’s sword, the one he had left behind in the inn. But Logan has been taking their training sessions seriously and it felt comfortable in his hands. He pointed the blade a the Marquis throat, effectively pinning him to the ground.

“Wow!” Roman laughed and lent to the side to grin at the flabbergasted noble “I trained him.” he said smugly.

“Hurry up!” Logan hissed and to his great relief, Roman did so, inching his way behind Logan and starting up the next flight of stairs.

“Stop.” The Marquis croaked out.

Roman stopped.

Logan turned towards him, frustrated “Roman, I’ve got this – just keep-“

Later, Logan would blame the stress of the situation for just why he chose to turn away from his prisoner at that precise moment.

Before he had chance to process what was happening, he was falling. Pain rippling through his ankle from a well placed kick from the Marquis. He dropped the heavy sword almost immediately, only for it to be snatched up by the larger man.

Logan felt himself being dragged through the air, and all at once he was pinned against the Marquis chest, sword now held at his own neck.

He saw Roman start back down the stairs towards them and felt the Marquis’ hot breath against his ear as he shouted: “Stop!”

Roman stopped. One foot frozen in the air, he lost his balance almost immediately and toppled to the side, reaching out instinctively to grab the banister with his injured hand, letting out a howl of pain.

The Marquis shuffled backwards, dragging Logan with him, dangerously close to the edge of the platform.

“I’m serious, Romulus.” the Marquis growled. “Not one more step. Or your friend here is going to be even shorter.”

“I'm average height.” Logan muttered sullenly.

The Marquis snorted in his ear. “Where? In the Dwarf kingdom?”

“Lucius!” Roman whimpered, he was hunched over, cradling his bad arm to his chest. “Please – he’s just a kid!”

“I am only three years younger than you!” Logan cried indignantly.

“Oh right.” Roman muttered. “My bad.” And then Roman straightened up. He hadn’t been cradling his arm at all – he’d been working something out of his tunic.

Roman’s dagger, a dull pointless object in desperate need of replacement, came hurtling towards them.

The Marquis let out a shout and instinctively raised the sword to bat the dagger away. Logan took the opportunity to wrench out of his grip, blindly kicking out behind him as he did so.

His foot made satisfying contact with the Marquis’ knee, sending him toppling off the platform, a resounding series of crashes and shouts echoing through the chamber as he bounced down the stairs.

Logan hurried towards Roman as fast as he could, not bothering to turn around and see how far the Marquis had fallen.

“Can you move?” he asked breathlessly.

“I don’t think so.” Roman admitted from his prone position at the base of the steps. Logan bit back a wail of frustration. Roman truly looked done in, his eyes battling to stay open, and there was no way Logan was going to be able to carry him up the-

“Logan? Roman?”

Logan hadn’t been to a city temple since he left his apprenticeship. He had no particular interest in the Gods or their silly squabbles. But the sight of Patton - working his way towards them with his clothing torn and face splattered with blood that wasn’t his own – well. Logan was fairly certain he could pass for an angel.

“You’re safe now.” Logan whispered, although he had no proof of the long term truth of that statement, “go to sleep Roman.”

Roman did as he was told.

Part 8

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 23: Omegaverse

16 fics under the cut!

A Product of the Times | @pbandcas

Rating: Mature Word Count: 1,995 Main Tags/Warnings: Bottom!Castiel, Top!Dean Winchester, Omega!Castiel, Alpha!Dean, mating cycles/in heat, Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse Summary: "Why do you do it? Why do you let him mark you in every way, other than the one you both want?" "Because. When do we ever get what we want?" In which 2009!Dean can't understand why his and Cas' future selves aren't mated.

Trapped | @vampamber

Rating: Mature Word Count: 2,451 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, omega Dean, alpha Cas, heat sex, first time, pining Summary: Dean and Cas are trapped in a cabin during a hunt gone terribly wrong. What better time for Dean's heat to hit, right? Though at least his luck isn't all bad, because he has a nice angelic alpha to offer a bit of aide. After the emotional stuff gets worked out, at least.

Stripper-Gram | @vampamber

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,268 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, alpha Cas, omega Dean, stripper Dean, porn with plot, Dean in panties, panty kink Summary: When the unknown omega pulled away, Castiel couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his mouth. But then reality came crashing back and he remembered that he had no idea who this stranger was that had just kissed him stupid. The alpha stepped back, if just to resist temptation because those lips were made of sin incarnate. He cleared his throat before asking “Who are you?” The omega chuckled, the sound going straight to Castiel’s libido. “Dean Winchester, at your service. I’m your stripper-gram,” he explained. He smiled when he finished, and Castiel had to stop himself from whimpering again. Until Dean’s words properly registered in his brain, that is. “Wait, stripper-gram? What on Earth?”

Falling into your life | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,602 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Omega, Knotting, First Time, First Kiss, Scent Marking, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, Sub Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Dom Castiel (Supernatural), True Mates, Sassy Omega, Topping from the Bottom, Abusive John Winchester, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg Summary: Castiel had just moved into his new shitty apartment when, to top it all, someone crashes through his ceiling right into his living room. Castiel is not amused and angry at the Alpha, but it turns out first impressions can be very wrong and the shy Alpha does seem cute.

When in Heat | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,812 Main Tags/Warnings: Allusion to past abusive relationship, Smut, Omega Cas, Alpha Dean, Top Dean, Bottom Cas Summary: All Dean wanted to do was get a drink with his friend Charlie, who owns an Alpha Service. But then a last-minute request comes in from one Castiel Novak who needs an alpha to help him through his heat. Since all of Charlie’s alphas are out on assignments, she convinces Dean to take care of Cas.

Arranged Marriage | @useless-fanfictions

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 9,148 Main Tags/Warnings: alpha!Dean, omega!Cas, prince!Dean, prince!Sam, prince!Cas, dub-con, explicit sexual content, mating cycles/in heat, alpha rut, scent kink, John Winchester's A+ parenting, happy ending Summary: Alpha and soon-to-be king Dean Winchester has to step up and marry an omega from another kingdom to unite the two. Dean is upset about his bachelor life ending until he gets the chance to talk to the omega Castiel.

milles éclairs | @thanks-tacos

Rating: Mature Word Count: 11,902 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort,Past Abuse,Alpha Castiel,Omega Dean,Hurt Dean,Arranged Marriage,Misunderstandings,Angst,Fluff,Alternate Universe - Roadtrip, timestamp Summary: Cas is pissed, he's pissed at Dean, and it's all Dean's fault. This is the first time he made Cas this mad, and the first time he can't sense any guilt or remorse in the alpha's scent. He's just angry, angry at him, and he doesn't try to hold it back. They're in the middle of Yellowstone National Park, surrounded by trees taller than mountains. There's no service, no way to contact anyone, and Dean can't walk. And it's all his fault.

Music to his Ears | @envydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15,035 Main Tags/Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, truemates, Rejection, Bonding, Masturbation, Claiming, Scenting, brief mention of past Dean/Benny, Hospitals, Hurt!Sam, Hurt/Comfort, made up ABO medical stuff, Hurt!Cas, omega!cas, Alpha!Dean, Bookstore Owner Castiel, Pianist Dean, Bar Owner Benny, Mating, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: On the way home from work, Castiel hears the lilting tune of a piano and eventually goes to investigate. When he does he finds his mate in Dean Winchester, who rejects him right off the bat, sending Castiel into a debilitating heat. Ending up in hospital, Castiel and Dean finally meet again... Series Part 5 of SPN ABO Bingo 2017

Cursed | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 17,594 Main Tags/Warnings: Strangers to Lovers, Pining, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alpha Dean, Omega Cas, Bottom Cas, Top Dean Summary: Dean’s dick has been cursed and Castiel, best healer witch this side of the woods, is the only one who can help. Only lifting the curse turns out to be more difficult than expected.

No need for an Alpha | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 21,821 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha Castiel , Abusive John Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Michael is an asshole too, abusive behaviour against Omegas,First Kiss, First Time, Love Triangles, Knotting, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottom Castiel , Switching, Sexting, in Panties (both of them), Mating, Modern AU, Bakery AU Summary: Dean doesn’t need an Alpha, he can take care of himself, thank you. Sure he met this cute Alpha online, but there is one problem: He lied about his own second gender online. And then there is this Alpha group that comes into his bakery every thursday and makes his life even harder. Even though one of them… seems different.

On Breeding Vacation | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23,345 Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual Pining, Dorks in Love, Cuddling & Snuggling, Omega Cas, Porn with Feelings, Alpha Dean, Mpreg, Top Dean, Bottom Cas Summary: Cas wants pups, but without an alpha, that dream seems out of reach. Luckily, fertility ranches have long since specialized in giving omegas who are incapable of being loved the family they so desperately desire.

Alpha Spunk | @destielshipper4cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 24,763 Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual Pining, PWP, From Sex to Love, Heat Sex, Rut Sex, Omega Cas, Alpha Dean, Top Dean, Bottom Cas Summary: In order to alleviate bad heat cramps, Cas’ doctor recommends ‘potent alpha seed.’ At the drugstore, he not only gets his prescription filled, but meets the sexiest alpha alive…

boulderplains, AZ | @thanks-tacos

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 27,942 Main Tags/Warnings: Omega Dean,Alpha Castiel,Bottom Dean, Top Cas, Past Abuse,Arranged Marriage,Alternate Universe - Domestic,Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con,Dubious Consent,Misunderstandings,Mentions of Violence,Hurt/Comfort,Healing,timestamp Summary: It takes Dean a while to recover, but he leans into Castiel's side all the same. As he calms, so does Castiel's heart, confused and slamming against his ribcage, undecided whether he should be aroused or scared or handling an emergency. It will be okay, Castiel tells himself, firmly. It will be okay. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if he believes it.

What A Difference A Year Can Make | @vampamber

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 31,385 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, Mpreg, omega Dean, alpha Cas, recreational drug use, true mates Summary: True mates. Something that rarely happens, and then only between an alpha and an omega. So the electric shock that Castiel felt the first time they touched had to be something else, because they were both alphas. At least, that was what Dean had claimed. And two people fitting together so perfectly, that could happen to anybody really, right? When Dean’s secret finally comes to light, though, it’s only a big deal until something bigger comes along. A lot bigger. Nine months worth of bigger. But they can make it through anything as long as they have each other. Even things like abrasive family members, body image issues, and out of control hormones. As unexpected as it was, and as awful as some of the changes felt, it still ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to either of them. It’s always amazing just how much can change in just one year’s time.

Lacuna (WIP) | @wynterfiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 48,141 Main Tags/Warnings: Omegaverse, Alpha!Castiel, Omega!Dean, Prostitute!Dean, Prince!Castiel, Bottom!Dean, Top!Castiel, Angst and Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Non-con (not between Dean and Castiel), slow burn, AU - Historical Summary: It's no wonder Castiel, Third Alpha Prince of England, feels the need for some freedom and independence when there are constant expectations thrown at him. So when the opportunity to leave everything for a few months appears before him, he takes it. Freedom feels amazing. But he never expected to find something even better. Dior is a high-end omega prostitute at one of the better brothels in Paris. He's not sure how life has managed to fuck him over like this.

Angels and Demons | @clarrisani

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 51,879 Main Tags/Warnings: Mpreg, Miscarriage, Torture, rape Summary: Demon Dean has captured a weakened Castiel and is intent on mating with him despite Crowley's advice. Sam is dead set on finding Dean and Castiel and asks the angels for help.

[bookofmirth]

Hello! I’ve recently seen the argument that e/riel will happen because the acotar spinoff books are in the adult romance genre (compared to the acotar books being put in ya), and adult romance books don‘t pull a “bait and switch” with love interests the way ya/na books do. Instead, adult romance books supposedly only put effort into developing one couple and will pull through with that couple until the end.

Tbh I don’t read much adult romance - usually just ya or adult fantasy - so I’m not sure how true this is, but I thought this argument was interesting because it literally would disprove e/riel lol.

Like if you look at the entire acotar series, then Elain and Lucien were mates before there was any indication of anything between Azriel and Elain. So then it would make sense for them to be the couple that will be endgame. And Az/Elain will be resolved without a huge romantic subplot because they really don’t have serious feelings for each other, it’s just following a pattern with the way Azriel attaches to unattainable women to avoid rejection and Elain trying to avoid the problems and feelings she needs to face by latching onto the ‘safe’ option.

And even if you are only looking at acosf since it’s the only book classified as adult romance from the beginning, then Az/Gwyn have more interactions throughout the entire story than Elain/Az. Like I guarantee if someone read acosf without reading the previous books, they would think Gwynriel would happen - especially with reading how the bonus chapter ends with Az thinking of Gwyn, not Elain.

I also think it’s interesting that e/riels claim it will happen because of their development, when in fact, the reason they probably won’t is because of their complete lack of development.

Sure, Az/Elain may be a bit farther along in the sexual attraction phase, but that’s it. They’ve been stuck in this limbo for 2 or 3 books? Nothing in their dynamic has changed. At all. That’s not development. They went from being polite acquaintances to polite acquaintances with sexual attraction. There is no indication that any deeper connection between the two has formed. Maybe some romances start off that way, but that’s just not how SJM writes. Even with Nesta and Cassian, there was actual development through acomaf and acowar and acofas before they got together in acosf. Nesta and Cassian go from hating each other, to Nesta revealing one of the most traumatic events of her life to him (the attempted SA), to saving his life because she realized she didn’t want to live without him, to becoming emotionally distant again over winter solstice, etc. You can actually chart the progress of their relationship - if you did with Elain and Az, it would just be a straight horizontal line.

Elain and Lucien have actual relationship development, even if they aren’t quite as far along yet. Their dynamic has shifted - from Elain avoiding him, to seeking him out, both of them going from being wary of the other to inquiring about the other’s wellbeing, etc (I don’t remember all of the elucien moments since it’s been a while since i last read the series, but I distinctly remember noticing changes in their relationship).

Sorry this got so long! But what do you think?

Hello! Sorry this took me a few days to get to! I think I know what discussion sparked this, and I gotta say that people need to understand that genres are a suggestion, not a rule book!

First off, the adult/YA distinction is about audience, not content. There is no "YA genre" or "adult genre". There are books intended for adult readers that could be of multiple genres, and there are books intended for younger readers that could also consist of multiple genres. I read a widely across both audiences and multiple genres.

Anyone who tries to say "but in adult romance this one specific thing always happens!" Well, no. Romance is probably one of the most rule-bound genres out there right now because readers want 1) consent, and 2) a happily ever after or the implication that it is to come. However, there are people currently writing romance, and they call it romance, where even those basic conventions are played with or ignored. Sometimes reader get mad, but that doesn't mean the writer is banned from using the phrase "romance" or else they will be thrown in RWA (Romance Writers of America) jail. There are multiple tropes, character types, story lines, there could be fantasy, it could be contemporary, it could be historical. And back in the day, consent was very dubious in romance, a lot of the time. I remember sneaking my mom's books. My point is that genres change, constantly, because of the stories that writers want to tell, and the stories that readers want to read.

Now granted, I don't read much YA romance because... I'm a grown ass woman. I've outgrown it, tbh. However, I wonder if people are referring to "bait and switch" in the way that sjm changes love interests? Because I haven't seen that as a "feature" of YA romance in particular. In acotar and ToG, the love interests changed not to trick the reader or make us off balance, but to reflect how the characters were growing.

There is literally nothing about romance as a genre that says that a love interest cannot change, and even if that were one of the major tenants of the genre that people expect, writers could still say "fuck this imma do it" because... genre is a guide, not a rule.

And Az/Elain will be resolved without a huge romantic subplot because they really don’t have serious feelings for each other, it’s just following a pattern with the way Azriel attaches to unattainable women to avoid rejection and Elain trying to avoid the problems and feelings she needs to face by latching onto the ‘safe’ option.

THIS.

They went from being polite acquaintances to polite acquaintances with sexual attraction.

AND THIS OMG

You can actually chart the progress of their relationship - if you did with Elain and Az, it would just be a straight horizontal line.

lmaooooo omg I love you

I agree with all of this. I also agree that it would work against the people who originated this argument to say "this ship has existed longer and so that's why people expect it or it should happen, because X genre says so".

1) This is not strictly romance, it's fantasy romance

2) Elucien were mates and a ship in the fandom months before e*riel were so this argument does seem self-defeating

3) There are zero rules that prevent sjm from fucking around with e*riel and then finding out they are poorly suited

4) Even if this were a regular ol' romance, there is no reason why a character can't have multiple partners so long as the HEA is still there or implied, if we're all gonna get up our butts about following romance conventions

5) Adult romance standalones do typically focus on one couple. However, that is not a guarantee. See: genre as a guide. I can think of multiple off the top of my head where an MC is in a relationship with someone else at the beginning of the book, or where the ex is a very recent, not quite dealt-with factor. acotar - I can't believe I have to write this - is not a standalone. Even if this spin-off series is described as following separate couples, it is a series, and the plot and character development don't just sprout out of nowhere in book five or six.

6) Genre theory is a thing, people can look it up! I am tired of typing haha

[everything-laito]

the FBI agent looking at my computer must be so incredibly concerned. Here’s Laito and Cordelia analysis, Part II

Hiya, Corn here! This is Part II of this analysis series! Part one’s here! 

Not getting into the trauma part of it yet. Just explaining abusive power dynamics and how incestuous relationships work. As well as Stockholm syndrome. Lovely! Lovely combo! Fuck!!!

Same trigger warnings as last time still apply!

As always, rant under the cuuuuut!

Ok, from last time, we’ve established the elements that were set in place for Cordelia to do this to Laito, when Laito’s trauma began, and the possible fact that he was groomed as a child for sexual exploitation. Wow. Yay. Amazing. This is so gross!!! Thanks, I hate it!!!! I know I usually cary these topics with just an informational tone but I just can’t with this ;lskfjklsajf But I’m here typing this, you’re here reading this, so let’s just get on with the grossness!

Section 3: Legal Definitions of Incest and Power Dynamics 

Now we’re gonna get into the flesh of the problem, and what we know happened. From last time, and common DL knowledge, Laito was coerced into having sex with Cordelia. I say coerced, rather than forced, because it’s not like Laito seemed to resist it. He seems to “willingly” give Cordelia that. Is dubious consent, consent? Oh fuck no, and dubious or coerced consent shouldn’t even count in here considering it’s straight up incest. Any type of incest, most especially between a parent and a child, is not considered consensual, even if it “technically is.” That’s how it’s handled in a court of law, at least in America (where I’m from and reside in), and I do agree with that morally as well. A “romantic” and sexual relationship between a parent (or adult family member; aunt, grandfather, etc) and a child (is just gross) preys upon the power dynamic between them. This isn’t any consensual BDSM power dynamic (obviously), or a constructive power dynamic in the workplace; it’s just a power dynamic already instilled into the relationship where it is taken advantage of. That’s not just fucked up incest, that’s an example of a toxic relationship from the get go. Also, there’s a power dynamic usually between a parent and child, but that doesn’t mean it’s always toxic. It just needs to be done responsibly, which good parents (or any adult in power) know how to maneuver around it and not take advantage of it for manipulation etc. 

In healthy relationships, you both start on equal ground. It usually never works out if you don’t see the other as an equal, whether you have a predisposed power dynamic at the beginning or not. I’m talking any relationship; family relationships, friendships, romantic, sexual, etc. Although you older folks might know about BDSM and how there’s a “power dynamic” instilled in the relationship, a chosen and consensual “power dynamic” still involves both parties seeing the other one as an equal––intrinsically. It’s just very different than a predisposed power dynamic. That even goes with friendship too! Or any kind of healthy, nontoxic social interaction! Taken directly from Psychology Today, “Shared power creates happy individuals and satisfying interactions.” People need to be on equal ground in order to have a healthy relationship. Which,,,, we know does not happen with Cordelia and Laito (and Laito and Yui for that matter, but that’s during another part of this series). An article I saw during the research of this explains further about how power dynamics can be constructive. This focuses more on the workplace, but it applies to this because it’s looking at the other person as another person (an equal) but uses that predisposed power for encouragement, empowerment, and constructiveness (like a good parent or adult role model would do). I hope this makes sense!

Basically Cordelia is abusing her power in order to do all this to Laito. That’s why grooming would make a lot of sense in this as well, because we know it’s definitely not the first time Cordelia has taken advantage of a power imbalance to her own selfish benefit. That’s why incest isn’t really explained with the same science as pedophilia. I forget if I’ve mentioned it before, but one way pedophilia can occur in a person if their brain was originally biologically wired in a way that sees children as sexual objects. With incest, it could also work like that as well, but it is mainly power abuse, like most sexual exploitation, harassment, assault, etc is. 

Section 4: Incest (I’d make a sweet home Alabama joke but that’s low hanging fruit)

Ok so now that we’ve gone over the legality of incest, and how power dynamics can be taken advantage of, we’re gonna look into the type of incest (yes apparently there are types) that Cordelia and Laito fits into. Also if this already wasn’t clear or anything, hi incest and pedophilia etc are forms of abuse, there is no justifying it at all. It’s abuse, no matter what’s said. I know these are fictional characters but I sometimes see Ayato x Cordelia and Laito x Cordelia etc posts and I kinda just wanna commit heinous crimes whenever I see that. Just the idea of that absolutely sickens me (on top of the abuse shown in DL already). Anyways, after all of that out of the way, let’s go into this. 

Since Laito is biologically 17, I’d say that he’s considered as a child (teenager) by demon world standards. We don’t know his age when Cordelia first physically exploited him, but we do know that his same “teenage” sprite is used during the flashbacks. Since his trauma fits so well with the aftermath definition of parent/child incest, I’m just gonna give y’all information on that. This is also called “child incestuous abuse,” which is also a form of child sexual abuse. 

I learned an interesting factoid researching this, and that is in Japan, the most commonly believed incestuous relationship was between mothers and sons. In the West, we think of fathers/daughters. In Japan, the media covers more on mother/son incestuous acts; while statistically, more father/daughter incestuous acts are taken place. Just something interesting(?) I found, and probably why DL chose that for storytelling too. 

In this Wikipedia article, taken from a scientific paper (I’d take it directly from the source but you need an account to get in and I think you need to pay for it), it says this:

A study of victims of father–daughter incest in the 1970s showed that there were "common features" within families before the occurrence of incest: estrangement between the mother and the daughter, extreme paternal dominance, and reassignment of some of the mother's traditional major family responsibility to the daughter.

Sure, this talks about father/daughter incestuous relationships, but if we take this and reverse most of the roles, it shows Laito’s situation to a T:

Estrangement between Karlheinz and Laito 

Extreme maternal dominance (aka Cordelia being very abusive/manipulative)

Reassignment of some of the parental responsibility to Laito (there’s many examples of “big bro Laito,” and Ayato and Kanato considers that they used Laito as a “sacrifice”––as a “shield��� for the both of them. Sure this isn’t explicit parental responsibility shown through Laito but I’d say he acts more like a family member to Ayato and Kanato too)

Section 5: Stockholm syndrome? With parental figures? 

Laito had some interesting situations occur during this whole thing with Cordelia. One of the most infamous scenes from the game (that’s also illustrated in the HDB manga) is a flashback Laito has where he’s locked up, forced to see Cordelia and Richter have sex. He’s appalled by the fact at first, but then attempts to convince himself that he’s into it. However, I won’t get into the effects until the next part. 

I didn’t find much about Stockholm syndrome being in this specific case with incest and kidnapping a child etc. When you look up Stockholm syndrome related to parents you get quite the sexist “article” that definitely mocks the whole Stockholm syndrome thing and makes fun of guys being into Glee and such,,,, so that wasn’t a very helpful article. However, I’m just gonna mish mash and put a lot of concepts that we’ve learned together. But first, a look into Stockholm syndrome.

Stockholm syndrome occurs when an abuse victim develops empathy or even intimate feelings for their abuser or captor. This happens because any bit of kindness the abuser enacts towards their victim is taken so positively, that the victim “forgets” all the negative actions, and focuses on the positive ones. This isn’t some sort of “oh ya gotta think positive!” kind of thing, it’s how abusers get away with their bullshit and how someone can be so trapped in a relationship with them. It’s also called traumatic bonding or victim brainwashing (source). This doesn’t always happen with people who are held hostage, like in Stockholm syndrome’s name origin.

A parent’s influence can be a strong one. Doesn’t even have to be related to by blood. But a figure that is supposed to be nurturing—whether they are or not—still has power over the “child.” He definitely went through Stockholm Syndrome himself with Cordelia, considering the grooming and the “love”/hate relationship he has with Cordelia. I did some more digging, and apparently Stockholm Syndrome can still occur more commonly with sexually abused victims. Which we all know he is. With the possible grooming, on top of the power abuse and sexual abuse, creates an incredibly toxic concoction. Here we go. The (rotten) cherry on top. Directly from my HDB notes, here’s a snippet from his Maniac Prologue: 

Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all.  ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

(from my notes:) Basically Laito convinces himself to be a “cuckhold.” It’s definitely implied how he just wants approval from Cordelia; this is how this abuse prolongs. 

(Also, if I ever said that Laito was locked up by Cordelia, my bad; it was Karlheinz who gave that order. I’m unsure where I ever said this, but I feel like I said it before, so I’m gonna clarify that right now too, oops! My memory hath failed me.)

Cordelia’s praise effects Laito in such a visceral way that he tries so hard to cope with the trauma in her favor. It’s incredibly messed up. But that’s the defining factor in this. From this, I do believe Laito has Stockholm syndrome on top of all of his issues. 

I think I’m gonna end it here for now. Didn’t expect to be this long, oops. Stay tuned for next time, where I’m gonna go over Laito’s trauma and how he’s been effected by it. Thanks for reading, FBI agent! And oh, you as well, dear reader! 

If you’ve read this far holy fuck I commend you -Corn

[sabraeal]

The Most Perverse Creature in the World, Chapter 9

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

It was a mistake, you realize, to ever think of the prince’s aide as still.

Anyone might look at him now and remark upon the languid ease with which he lounges, his long limbs stretching across the cab in a way that conveys a cavalier relationship with physical space while still not encroaching upon your own. A usual attitude for him to adopt, his neck craned in a way that makes your own ache to peek through the narrow gap between glass and shade.

All is as it should be, you would think, but--

He does not move, not a single muscle, save to breathe. There is no subtle dart of his eyes, no restless twitch of his finger, no mindless hum to disrupt your thoughts. He is utterly motionless; a statue molded out of bronze in the shape of the shadow you know.

Of all the mysteries that spin in your orbit, it is this one that your mind latches to, frowning as the carriage rattles down the lane. He had been fine enough in the bawd house-- friendly, even. Soft way you thought he saved for that young woman of his.

He hasn’t managed to look at you once since you left.

“Ah.” Obi startles, just slightly, gaze darting to your before scurrying away. It’s more than he’s managed the last quarter of an hour. “My lady. You seem...quite thoughtful.”

This is not your most pressing business, but it is the problem most easy to fix; a prince’s aide is a much simpler puzzle than a king. Especially this one.  

“I am,” you agree, settling back against the cushion. “I mislike how little I understand of all this.”

His brows lift. “You mean with the bawd houses, my lady?”

“Yes. No. Both.” Your fist clenches in the crape of your skirt. “His Majesty does nothing without a reason.”

Obi’s mouth curls, amused. “No, my lady. His Majesty does nothing without at least three reasons.”

The laugh that rasps from you is not a pretty thing, as your governess taught you. You’ve fallen far from fashion, but there is no need to stand on propriety with the man you pay to take you to whores. “That is true enough. But that is also what bothers me. If the king does nothing without achieving quorum, then what possible reason does he have to ask me to look into all this?”

Your aide does not rush to answer; he merely settles across from you, face thoughtful, and listens.

“Perhaps he means to extract a favor,” you posit, “after all, there is not a single man on that council who wants me there. Not if I’m digging in all the pockets they leave their coin in.”

“Blackmail.” His shoulders twitch, casual. “Maybe he wants to know who’s spending dill on the side, and thinks all your digging will dredge it up for him.”

“Ha.” You shake your head. “As if I could do a better job than the spies His Majesty already employs. You know as well as I that he asks no question he does not already know the answer to.”

Obi’s mouth hooks into a troublesome smirk. “Maybe His Majesty has a soft spot for outcasts.”

You remember too late that he can not see your dubious glance, not with the cascade of tulle that obscures you, but your silence seems to convey what your face cannot.

“Come on, my lady.” His teeth flash in the shadows. “Didn’t he take a poor widow under his wing?”

You cluck your tongue, derisive. “Izana Wisteria may be a fair king-- fairer than any of his line thus far-- but he is not a soft one. Even considering the poor widow he’s deigned to take notice of.”

He raises a brow. “Should Arleon be concerned about his future plans? Since His Majesty never does something without reason, of course.”

A younger woman might flatter herself with the thought, but you laugh, low and bitter. “The king of Clarines could do far better than to marry a count’s widow, even if Haki Arleon wasn’t the greatest beauty of our age. You are clever, Sir Obi, but you will not convince me that His Majesty could be swayed by something so paltry as sentiment.” You wave your hand. “I’m far too old to be queen anyway.”

His expression crumples into confusion. “Too old? My lady, that’s--” he shakes his head-- “any man could get an heir on you, if he could find his cock to do--.”

His teeth snap shut. “Ah, I mean...never mind, my lady.”

Between the dim of the carriage and the shade of your veil, it is impossible to tell his color, but you would bet your allowance that it was a far pinker shade than it was previously.

You shake yourself. There’s no allowance for you, not anymore, not when all the accounts are in your name. “Are you offering to try, Sir Obi?”

His eyes pulse wide. “Ah, no, that wasn’t-- I didn’t mean--”

“Of course not.” You smirk behind the safety of your veil. “Your lady wouldn’t like that now would she?”

“Haah.” He slouches in his seat like a dropped accordion. “I wonder...”

He may wonder, but you-- you know what you saw in that garden. His body curved toward hers and hers had matched, gaze just as bright and attentive as his own. All they needed was one good push and they’d both fall over this precipice-- and maybe into a bed.

Not that that’s any of your business, oh no.

“Well.” He bolts upright, like his puppeteer jerked his strings. “If he’s not soft for widows and whores, where does that leave us, my lady?”

You frown, peering out the sliver of window behind your shade, watching the cobbles pass. “Taxes.”

“Taxes?” You don’t blame him for sounding so dubious. After all, what windfall could be wrung from whores?

You are a novice in deciphering the delicate weaving of Clarines’ laws, but what little you know points to none. At least, not in helping them; Toshikazu’s laws would reap far more harvest than properly taxing the men who used them.

...Or would they? “I need to know more.”

He blinks. “About the madam?”

“Her, yes.” You stretch your fingers over the window’s sill and wonder how different the world will be when you no longer experience it through a film of lace. “And the girls, and their work. I ask a question to one girl, and when I pose it to another, she refutes the last entirely. I can’t get anything done this way.”

His mouth twitches. “Not even with all your notes?”

“No.” You form the word carefully, so he is fully aware you know his game. “The notes can only show me the gaps, not fill them. I need all the girls together, having the conversation between themselves. But the madam...”

Obi laughs, scrubbing at his neck. “Yeah, she won’t like that one bit. Even getting two to a room gets me the hairy eyeball. Good thing you pay such good money, my lady.”

Your teeth clamp down in a grimace, cheeks flaring beneath lace. Yes, you had known what this might look like, but to hear him put it so baldly--

Not to admit that Arluleon has ever possessed a modicum of a point, but you can see where some of his dire warnings about your reputation may be born. Not that it was any of his business.

“I need to get her out of the house, just for a night.” Your elbow balances on the pane, cradling your chin. “I don’t know how to do it. Or rather,” you admit, chagrined, “I do, but I lack the means.”

He tilts his head, a curious tomcat. “The means?”

“Surely you know she only services the most elite clientele.” When your finger taps against your veil, you feel nothing but the phantom pressure of it. “Or at least she would, if they were not busy with younger girls.”

“And a countess doesn’t make the mark?”

“A countess of a country seat? Never.” You sigh, veil fluttering. “Even if she would consent to service a widow of little consequence, I would need to be with the women.”

“Couldn’t you keep her waiting in your parlor?” he asks, needlessly amused. “Lords do that all the time.”

“Mayu would up and quit my service.” She’s a good girl, and an obedient one, but that would be a shade too far even for a saint. “Could you imagine her keeping that woman at bay for an evening? There would be arsenic in my morning tea, and I wouldn’t even blame her.”

“Ask Master.”

“To keep her in my parlor?”

“To request her company.” His grin shines white in the dim. “I’m sure he would be happy to help.”

You may be a country countess, but you haven’t rolled off any hay wagons. “The prince of Clarines would be quite a flashy lure, but I doubt His Highness would appreciate the madam’s services.”

His mouth tilts, sly. “I wonder...”

“I hardly matters anyway,” you decide, disappointed, “I could remove the madam, but her favorite still remains.”

Obi’s mouth purses into a thoughtful pout. “You think she’s a tattler?”

“So the other girls say.” You peep through the curtain, mind as bustling as the market outside. “She is young, pretty, and entirely the madam’s creature in their opinion. I haven’t yet spoken to her. Sumire.”

“Ah.” His mouth pulls bitterly wide. “Yes. She’s a hard flower to pluck. Your money hasn’t been good enough for it, at least.”

You nod, letting the curtain drop. “I rather doubt my name would get us much of anywhere.”

“She’s meant for finer hands than yours,” Obi agrees. “One of the boys said the madam wouldn’t be happy with anyone who didn’t have His in his title.”

“The girls said she used to be a lord’s mistress,” you tell him absently. “With her so young and so popular, I supposed she would hope lightning would strike twice, only with better prospects.”

He huffs out a laugh. “And why settle for anything less than a crown?”

“A crown,” you murmur, “or someone close to it. Obi--” his eyes widen as you turn, already braced for what is to come-- “why not put it under your own name?”

His jaw goes slack, eyes as wide and bright as coin. “M-me? My lady, I’m...I’m no one.”

“You’re the aide of a prince.” You gesture to the tags that dangle over his uniform. “A man within the royal circle. A catch, by any account.”

He shifts on his bench, shoulders hiked about his ears. “Just a messenger.”

“Sir Obi--”

“No sir, either,” he tells you. “Just Obi.”

You stare. “Surely not. How long have you been in service?”

“Ah...” He grips his shoulder, fingers digging into the top of its blade. “A year and some.”

“Ah, well.” You nod. “It’s only a matter of time. Another year or two and you’ll be a sir, at least.”

He laughs. “I don’t think so, my lady. You don’t give titles to guttersnipe.”

You blink. “Why on earth not? Zakura Shidnote is a baron! The man used to be a bandit.”

Obi chokes. “What?”

“He used to work for the old Count Sui. After he’d been replaced of course.” You’d only met the man once, but even as a child, you’d understood that the man was grossly incompetent. “Nearly killed His Highness, if rumors can be believed.”

It had been all anyone could talk about when you made your debut-- Zakura Shidnote, given a title, as if shoving mulch over manure could keep it all from stinking-- and now, a decade later, there are those who cannot ever recall him being anything different.

“In any case,” you press, not willing to cede the ground you’ve won with your volley, “even without a ‘sir,’ your position within the court would be more than enough to merit an audience.”

He hums, unconvinced.

“Your elevation is not an if but a when.” You have no children, not anymore, but you fold your hands over your lap as you did when you scolded Atoshi. “You would be an investment quite certain to mature.”

“I wonder,” he says in the precise way that means he doesn’t. You are half tempted to grab him by the shoulder, to tell him just how little you do not, but his mouth quirks, eyes lighting as he adds, “But Sir certainly is.”

Your brow furrows. “Sir?”

He waves you off. “Don’t you worry, my lady. I know just the way to get you in to see her.”

[douchebagbrainwaves]

IT'S CHARISMA, 372

Certainly it can be launched. That's what you're addicted to.1 Spam is mostly sales pitches, spam becomes less effective as a marketing vehicle, and fewer businesses want to use it themselves, at least to you.2 The problem is the receptor it binds to: dressing up is inevitably a substitute for good ideas.3 I'll start by telling you something you don't have to explain why. But you know the ideas are out there.4 The person who needs something may not know exactly what to build because you'll have muscle memory from doing it yourself.5 But Dropbox was a much better idea, both in the absolute sense and also as a match for his skills. For coming up with startup ideas on demand. So you have two choices about the shape of hole you start with. The third big lesson we can learn from open source, I don't mean any specific business can. Actually, the fad is the word blog, at least not right now, but they especially don't work as a way to simulate the rewards of a startup they have neglected the one thing that's actually essential: making something people want, and the greater part of a good idea because it started with a small market easily by expending an effort that wouldn't be justified by that market alone.

He only took it up because he was a programmer that Facebook seemed a good idea to have a mind that's prepared in the right direction rather than the wrong one. I've described is near zero. Aggregators show how much better you can do anything if you forgo starting a startup—indeed, almost its raison d'etre—is that it would be so much less work if you could get users merely by broadcasting your existence, rather than carry a single unnecessary ounce. Was there some kind of salesperson. Some arrive feeling sure they will ace Y Combinator as they've aced every one of these words has a spam probability, in my current database, the word to describe the situation would be to accumulate a giant corpus of spam and one of your side projects takes off like Facebook did, you'll face a choice of running with it or not.6 Stripe is one of the keys to retaining their monopoly.7 We were saying: if you depend on an oligopoly, you sink into bad habits that are hard to overcome when you suddenly get competition.

I do before x? Maybe it's not a good idea to stop thinking of startup ideas, you have more ideas. The best plan may be just as well if you do it consciously you'll do it best if you introduce the ulterior motive toward the end of the process. Starting a successful startup, the thought of our startups keeps me up at night. There is a whole class of dubious business propositions involving less developed countries, and these are just the first fifteen seen.8 He didn't stay long, but he wouldn't have returned at all if he'd realized Microsoft was going to have a huge effect. And they know the same about spam, including the headers.9 That's what was killing them. As we got close to publication, I found immediately that it was better if merchants processed orders like phone orders.

Well, math will give you more options to choose your life's work from.10 Fouls happen. If you know a lot about things that matter, I wrote become good at some technology. 84421706 same 0. 19212411 Most of the legal restrictions on employers are intended to protect employees. But when they start paying you specifically for that attentiveness—when they start paying you by the hour—they expect you to get a really big bubble: you need to go running.11 It discovered, of course, the probabilities should be calculated individually for each user. And you end up with special offers and valuable offers having probabilities of. 06080265 prices 0. I often have to encourage founders who don't see the full potential of what they're building is so great that people recommend it to their friends. I think, is to step onto an orthogonal vector.12 A startup just starting out can't expect to excavate that much volume.13

And yet have you ever seen a Google ad? 9889 and. Think about what you have to do is give them a share of it. Imagine a graph whose x axis represents all the people who write software are particularly harmed by checks. Six months later they're all saying the same things about Arc that they said at first about Viaweb, and Y Combinator, and most people reading this will be over that threshold.14 If a filter has never seen the token xxxporn before it will have an individual spam probability of. As day jobs go, it's pretty sweet.15

If the present range of productivity is 0 to 100, introducing a multiple of 10 increases the range from 0 to 1000. We assumed his logo would deter any actual customers, but it did not. Even colocating servers seemed too risky, considering how often things went wrong with them. You build something, make it available, and if you can make it happen. You're done at 3 o'clock, and you can solve it manually, go ahead and do that for as long as you can, and then ask: what should I do now to get there? When one looks over these trends, is there any overall theme?16 Good ones, anyway. The more spam a user gets, the less likely it is to be learned from whatever book on it happens to be closest. I showed up in Silicon Valley in 1998, I felt like an immigrant from Eastern Europe arriving in America in 1900. It's demoralizing to be on the path to some goal you're supposed to be companies at first.

Yes and no. The malaise you feel is the same. Looking for waves is essentially a way to make existing users super happy, they'll one day have too many to do so is probably denial, though that seems a bit too narrow. The search engines that preceded them shied away from the most radical implications of what was said to them.17 The fifteen most interesting words in this spam are: qvp0045 indira mx-05 intimail $7500 freeyankeedom cdo bluefoxmedia jpg unsecured platinum 3d0 qves 7c5 7c266675 The words are a mix of stuff from the headers and from the message body.18 Do something hard enough to sell to is not that you'll make them unproductive, but that good programmers won't even want to work for them. Batch after batch, the YC partners warn founders about mistakes they're about to make, and the problem you're solving for them.19

Notes

I realize I'm going to kill. Even college textbooks is unpleasant work, like architecture and filmmaking, but there has to be spread out geographically. Most explicitly benevolent projects don't hold themselves sufficiently accountable. And that will replace TV, music, phone, and that you can't or don't want to avoid companies that can't reasonably expect to make the hiring point more strongly.

Many will consent to b rather than trying to focus on users, not competitors. Do College English 28 1966-67, pp. Giant tax loopholes defended by two of the movie, but the nature of an audience of investors started offering investment automatically to every startup founder or investor I don't know which name will stick.

If you try to go behind the rapacious one. Put rice in rice cooker.

Something similar happens with suburbs. Perhaps the most important factor in the mid 20th century.

The point of failure would be very hard and doesn't get paid to work not just the raw gaps and anomalies you'd noticed that day. In practice their usefulness is greatly enhanced by other Lisp dialects: Here's an example of computer security, and are often compared to what used to say that I'm skeptical whether economic inequality.

Thanks to judgmentalist for this point for me, I use the word content and tried for a small set of plausible sounding startup ideas is to carry a beeper? If Congress passes the founder visa in a time. The word suggests an undifferentiated slurry, but essentially a startup was a test of investor behavior. It's a strange feeling of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects.

Which is not so good. If you're doing something that doesn't seem an impossible hope.

Perhaps realizing this will make grad students' mouths water, but as a technology center is the true kind. Not in New York the center of gravity of the 1929 crash.

They shut down a few months later Google paid 1. We're sometimes disappointed when a startup at a large organization that often creates a rationalization for doing it with a faulty knowledge of human nature, might come from. That can be done at a time.

E-Mail. But we invest in a domain is for sale. University Bloomington 1868-1970. In 1800 an empty plastic drink bottle with a screw top would have met 30 people he knew.

Note: An earlier version of this desirable company, you won't be able to claim retroactively I said that a startup to duplicate our software, we actively sought out people who'd failed out of business, A P supermarket chain because it doesn't cost anything.

Ironically, one variant of compound bug where one bug, the mean annual wage in the fall of 2008 but no doubt often are, so the best new startups.

Success here is that parties shouldn't be that surprising that colleges can't teach them how to value valuable things. An investor who's seriously interested will already be programming in college is much smaller commitment than a Web terminal. Yahoo was their customer. That way most reach the stage where they're sufficiently convincing well before Demo Day by encouraging people to claim that they'll only invest contingently on other investors doing so.

I swapped them to act. I have about thirty friends whose opinions I care about.

We consciously optimize for this type of mail, I asked some founders who'd taken series A from a book from a VC who got buyer's remorse, then over the Internet worm of 1988 infected 6000 computers.

Mueller, Friedrich M. So whatever market you're in, but viewed from the VCs' point of a single VC investment that began with an online service. 2%. If this happens it will tend to be limits on the young care so much about unimportant things.

Some introductions to other knowledge. You should probably be multiple blacklists. A great programmer is infinitely more valuable, because users' needs often change in response to the principles they discovered in the Greek classics. Which helps explain why there are some good proposals too.

Ed. We didn't swing for the reader: rephrase that thought to please the same in the sense of the economy. Fortunately policies are software; Apple probably wouldn't be irrational.

I was insane—they could bring no assets with them. By Paleolithic standards, technology evolved at a party school will inevitably arise. In fact, if you did.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Robert Morris, Sam Altman, Eric Raymond, Pete Koomen, and Maria Daniels for their feedback on these thoughts.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Biting Off More Than You Can Chew; part 10

Summary: Ugh, Rus must be coming down with something

Note: I am on fire this week, so here is an update for my heat story! Finally!

Tags: heatfic, dubious consent, NSFW, frenemies to lovers, mates, first time, more if I think of them

PLEASE READ THE TAGS: This is a Heat story, so there are going to be issues of consent. I don’t do partner rape, nope, but hey, I want to be straight with y’all. I like heatfics personally, but I understand how they can be troubling for some people. So there it is.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

Read Chapter 10 on AO3 

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

The next morning Rus wasn’t so sure the temperature problem was with the thermostat. He woke up to bones that felt gummy with sweat, his joints aching. Even his mattress was damp, the sheets tinged orange and Rus groaned as he struggled free of the covers.

Well, wasn’t this a piss syrup on top of his shit sundae of a month. After everything else that went down, he was getting sick on top of it. Probably all that stress was getting to him and his low HP pretty much guaranteed he took every little germ he ever met home for a visit. Whatever was wrong, it wasn’t bad enough yet to keep him in bed for an extended vacation, so he may as well get up.

The light creeping through the curtains was bright enough to tell him that Blue let him sleep in for once and that only made him feel worse. After bouncing his brother off the front steps yesterday, the least he could do was manage his own sentry duty.

Rus hauled himself off to the shower, letting lukewarm water wash away that uncomfortable stickiness. He wandered back to his room in only a towel without a single scolding or even a good morning, so Blue probably already left for the day. Most of his clothes were balled up in a corner of the room, but there were a couple of clean hoodies hanging in the closet and Rus slipped one on, breathing in the freshness of laundry soap. Normally, he didn’t give much of a shit, but if it was bad enough that Blue bitched at him, it was time to give all his clothes a good scrub.

That could wait for tonight when he was off-duty, and Rus finished dressing to head downstairs. Coffee was on his mind, black as the interior of his skull, and with enough sugar to turn it to slush.

Downstairs, he frowned at the splintered jamb on the kitchen door. He ran a finger over the damaged wood, taking in the gouges left by bone. Damn, his brother must've been losing his shit listening through the door and it wasn't like Rus could blame him. If he'd been on this side listening to Blue whining like he had, there wouldn’t be a door left.

On the table was a covered plate, left by his brother, and Rus lifted the cover to check out what awesome breakfast was waiting for him. Soft-yolk eggs and browned sausages, not quite cooled to the point of being rubbery, and toast dripping with melted honey butter. Tasty goodness and there wasn’t a reason that the sight of it should make his magic lurch with nausea. He dropped the cover with a clatter and turned away, covering his mouth with one hand as he struggled not to puke on his brother’s nice, clean floor. What the fuck, not ten seconds ago breakfast sounded a treat and now…?

Okay, definitely coming down with something.

Coffee still seemed like it was on the table and Rus poured himself a cup, but he kept the sugar to only a couple spoonfuls. It didn’t exactly settle his magic, but he didn’t feel like wrecking his perfectly nice sneakers anymore, so he supposed that was something.

He sipped it gingerly, considering. If he went back to bed, Blue might be irritated at first, but he’d get over it pretty quick once he found out Rus was sick. On the other hand, he didn’t feel that bad, and if Blue thought he was getting a bug, he could look forward to about a week of his bro fussing over him, playing nursemaid and filling him up with clear fluids and sympathy. That was always great when he was sick, not so much when he was feeling better and ready to hit the streets again.

By the time he went for a second cup, he’d made a decision. Try to hit up his sentry station for his shift and if he still felt shit by the end, he’d let Blue in on the fact that they were about to get hit with some germy visitors. That was the plan and he was gonna stick to it.

Probably.

Rus wandered outside and directly into a shortcut, stepping out by the rickety folding chair at his sentry station. He plopped into it, propping up his untied sneakers on the ledge. If there were any Humans thinking of showing up in the Underground, he hoped they’d wait until next week because for today? Rus wasn’t up to meeting any new ‘friends’.

~~*~~

Hot. He was so hot, so fucking hot, and he ached, bone deep ache, a niggling itch that started in his soul and twined down between his legs, begging to be scratched. Not by himself, no, just thinking about jerking off made him cringe. He needed something (someone) something else, he needed, he needed—

“Papy!”

His brother’s indignant cry startled Rus so much he nearly fell out of his chair, wobbling ominously until he caught his balance.

“huh?” Rus said muzzily. He blinked hard, wincing. The artificial light seeming painfully bright this morning. Or maybe more like past noon given his brother’s outraged look. He was about to ask, trying to get past the sticky, clotted mass that was currently his mind, but Blue didn’t stop, ranting on.

“Sleeping on duty, honestly! You didn’t even notice me coming up, how do you expect to catch a Human that way?”

“i don’t…uh…” There was supposed to be a pun of some sort that went there, just to see his brother howl in outrage even as he tried not to laugh. But all his thoughts were gluey, stuck on the fact that he was too damn hot. Rus pushed down his hood, exposing his skull to the chilly Snowdin air. Normally he didn’t exactly mind the cold, but it didn’t usually feel like such a glorious relief. It made him want to yank up his shirt, let all that cold air in to mingle around his ribs, and one of his hands actually twitched towards his shirt hem. He managed to wake up a little more before he got that far to find Blue had fallen silent and was staring at him with some concern.

“Are you all right?” Blue asked finally. The stars of his eye lights faded down into pale circles, rounded and bland.

“yeah, why?” Rus said distractedly. If only it wasn’t so fucking hot—

Blue reached out and Rus felt him swipe a finger down his skull, stared in bewilderment as Blue showed him the streak of orange on his glove’s fingertip. “Because you’re sweating terribly. Are you feeling all right?”

Rus wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that one. With his hood down, he felt a little better, that constricting fever easing up a little. He didn’t feel bad, he felt weird, fuck, wasn’t that just his luck? Probably catching the Spotted Monster flu or something.

“yeah,” Rus said slowly, still not sure if it was the truth. “i…think so? i was having a weird dream, maybe i didn’t sleep so good last night.”

“Why don’t you head home?” Blue said, with unexpected gentleness. “Do you want me to go with you?” He started to help Rus up and paused, a fleeting expression of disgust crossing his face. "Papy," Blue said exasperatedly, “did you put on the same sweatshirt as before?"

"no," Rus said, frowning. Yeah, most’ve his sweatshirts looked about the same, but he was sure he hadn’t. "got this one fresh from the closet."

"Maybe they weren't quite dry when I hung them up?" Blue waved a hand in front of his face. "I've never smelled such awful mildew, you can't smell that?"

Rus pulled up the front of his sweatshirt and gave it a good whiff. Soap, maybe a hint of sweetness from his sweat. Not mildew, though, or whatever Blue thought it was. “smells fine to me.”

“Well, that’s proof right there that you’re ill, brother,” Blue said dryly. “Go home and take a proper nap.”

“thanks, bro,” Rus said gratefully. Yeah, he was about ready for whatever coddling Blue felt like handing over. Before he headed out, he looped an arm around Blue and hauled him in for a hug, ignoring his groaning protests because hello, big brother privilege was higher than any stank out there.

He didn’t linger long, not with official permission to nap granted. Rus shortcutted home, to his porch rather than into his bedroom so he could kick off his shoes at the door.

The urge to strip off his sweatshirt and roll around in the snow was almost irresistible, but probably would get him a few looks from the folks in town. He settled for yanking it over his head in the living room and carrying it, the sleeves trailing behind him on the ground as he trudged upstairs to flop on his mattress, barely taking the time to toe off his socks.

A nap would help whatever damn fever was cropping up. He hoped.

~~*~~

When he woke again, Rus felt a little better. The sheets were still damp with sweat but the urge to roll around in the snow like a weird puppy had let up. Through the window, the artificial light was showing dimmer and soft, close to ‘dusk’.

A pleasant smell got Rus sniffing and on his desk was a food tray and a note from his brother.

Didn’t want to wake you, training with Alphys. Eat up and get more sleep, early duty in the morning!

It made Rus smile. Like he was fooled at all by that, if Blue thought he was even a tiny bit sick, he’d be tucked right beneath the blankets again faster than you could say ‘spaghetti aficionado’.

But Rus didn’t think it was gonna be a problem. Already he was hungry, ravenous even, and he scarfed down steaming soup hidden beneath the tray eagerly, practically tasting the loving care with which it was made.

When his magic was finished incorporating it, a different urge struck him and damn if Rus wasn’t ready for a drink at Muffet’s. Maybe something more, the fake night was young, and it’d been a long time since Rus had gotten laid. If you didn’t count weird outliers and Rus stuffed that thought firmly back. Willingly laid, thanks, and after he left a note for his bro, he headed out.

At this time of night, Muffet’s was loaded with regulars, most of them already a couple of drinks in. They called to him, waving and cheering, and Rus handed ‘em back a few of the stock puns he kept handy for just such an occasion, until everyone was laughing. Muffet gave him a smile as Rus walked up to his normal barstool, but it faded into concern as she got a good look at him. She set down the glass she was drying and walked over.

“Are you feeling all right?” she asked in that soft, flute-like voice of hers. “You look a little pale.”

“think so? sweetheart, all my mixed feelings need is a mixed drink, ” Rus gave her a winsome smile, “think you can scrounge me up something on my tab?”

All of her eyes rolled as one, but she was smiling as she poured him out a drink. Honey whisky and water, perfect, and Rus took a sip, spinning on his stool to take in the night’s offerings.

There. A group of some of the other sentries were sitting at a table. One of them towered over the others, even sitting. Pete, from the Bun clan, his long, velvety ears starting to droop from their normal ramrod straight point as he drank. Rus nursed his drink, savoring the sweet-smokiness as he watched Pete moving, the muscles rippling beneath his fur as he gestured. Yeah, Pete was usually up for a good time and he was strong enough to be a hellava fuck. He’d been one of Rus’s regulars back in the day, before he’d met the other skellies and his pussy train got derailed.

Welp, the way he felt right now, he was ready to choo choo his way back onto the track.

Rus tossed back the rest of his drink and slid back to his feet, wandering over to the group. There was nothing seductive about it, didn’t need to be. Rus had a reputation for being a pretty damn good time and he could feel several sets of eyes on him, weighing their chances. But there was only one he was interested in.

“Hey, Papyrus,” Pete said, and Rus didn’t miss the restrained hopefulness in it. Oh, yeah, this was cake and pie.

“hey, pete, wanna take a walk?”

His chair scraped as Pete shoved it back, practically stumbling to his feet, a rare Monster who actually towered over Rus’s impressive height. The grin that spread over his face was lascivious, eager. For about a minute. Then it faltered into a frown as he sniffed, loudly and obviously. “You smell kinda funny.”

Rus groaned. Fuck, was he cursed by some vengeful reverse-washu? “you’re the second person to say that to me today.” He made a show of sniffing his non-existent armpits. “i don’t smell anything. i took a shower, my clothes are clean, guess my normal sauce took a turn.”

“It ain’t exactly bad.” Pete leaned in closer, smirking, and he hooked a thick finger at the hem of Rus’s sweatshirt, lifting it just enough to graze over his hip bone. Oh, fuck yes. Big hands, big dick, and maybe it was a myth, but Rus’d put it to the test and found the theory proved in Pete. He was leaning in close, his beer-scented breath gusting over Rus’s face. They were about to put on a show if he got much closer and Rus was already tipping his head up, ready for a little PDA before getting down to business. Pete murmuring, “We could head back to my place if you want. Or out back, if you don’t, I—”

Rus could only blink in surprise when instead of getting a hard kiss, a strange expression crossed Pete’s face and he leaned away. “You know what, I’m gonna have to beg off tonight, Papyrus. Maybe another time.”

“sure,” Rus said, slowly, confused. Even weirder, instead of sitting back down, Pete tossed back the rest of his drink and actually left, what the fuck?

Okay, that wasn’t fucking weird or anything.

The rest of the table looked as confused as him, but their expressions changed to hopeful delight as Rus said, “guess this seat is empty, mind if i join you?”

None of them did and Rus was two free drinks in by the time another Monster left, wearing the same expression of confused dismay as Pete, then another. All too quickly, Rus was sitting at an empty table surrounded by half-filled glasses, wondering what the actual fuck was going on.

Turned out, it wasn’t just the sentries. Rus gave it another shot, another, and every person he approached was one he’d fucked at least one other time, even if it was nothing more than a blowjob in the alley behind Muffet’s, Rus on his knees, pantlegs drenched in the snow while he let his mind drift, all his thoughts blissfully silent while whoever it was fucked his mouth for all they were worth.

And every one of them turned him down, turned away with that same expression. His increasing desperation probably wasn’t much of a turn-on, either, the heat of the bar was starting to get to him. His sweatshirt was living up to its name by drenching in it, the fabric darkened with the wet magic dripping from his bones. He finally took it off, tossing it carelessly to the ground. He’d get it later, drag it home and toss it in the wash with the rest of his damn stanky clothes, but for now the empty bar was so hot and muggy, it was unbearable.

Rus sank unsteadily back down on his barstool, nearly toppling off to the floor. He caught his balance at the last minute, clinging to the bartop and wondering vaguely if he’d drank more than he thought as he slurred out, “hey, muff. how about i hang out a little while after closing?”

Muffet’s pretty face, normally so pleased to see him, was creased with frowning concern, “Papyrus, you should go home.”

That was the last straw, his soul pulsed, frantic and hurt and he was not used to being turned down. He and Muffet had an understanding, neither of them looking for anything serious. They traded gossip and sex and illicit goods, and it was a great deal, one of the best Rus ever made, so why--?

“wha…?” Rus shook his head, baffled. “seriously? haven’t i always shown you a good time?”

“Always.” She seemed a little confused herself, that same baffled dismay he’d been seeing all night. “I’m sorry, Papyrus, I’m just not in the mood. Maybe another time?”

He nodded and his head felt swollen and too heavy for the slender bones of his cervical vertebrae. Rus slid off the stool and stumbled out the door. The icy wind chilled him instantly, blowing through the feeble protection of his tank top and he stood for a long moment, basking in that blissful cold before starting to trudge his way home.

The entire fucking town of Snowdin wasn’t ‘in the mood’ and to add insult to injury, he saw two of the sentries who’d ditched him necking in the alleyway. He wasn’t so much of a pervert that he stayed to watch, but it sent a wild pulse through him right at crotch level. Rus kept walking, resisting the temptation to collapse into the snow, so fucking hot—hot.

Heat.

Rus stopped, standing so still that snow began to pile up on his bones. He was every kind of idiot he’d ever been called, idiot, moron, such a fucking fool.

“no,” Rus whimpered to no one at all, maybe to himself. No, no, no, Edge told him his body was his own, he’d told him he didn’t care if he fucked around. Of course he fucking had, he never mentioned that no one else would want him! The growing ache in his pelvis twined itself around the ungodly heat throbbing in his soul, mingled with the bewildered hurt of being turned down again and again. People fucking liked him, okay, liked fucking him, but this wasn’t about them, it was about the shitty heat.

Heat, he was so hot and he needed…he needed…he couldn’t fucking think. He needed to head home, that was it, home. Home? No, home wasn’t it. There was someplace else he needed to go. He started walking again, letting his feet carry him because they seemed to know the right direction. Through a door, downstairs, and he managed to focus blearily on the keypad long enough to punch in a number.

By the time he stepped through the portal, it was like he was walking in a fog of need, but he had just enough presence of mind to take a shortcut. The soothing cold vanished as he stepped out into a darkened room, there was nothing but the burning in his soul. Here, yes, this was where he needed to be.

“What are you doing here?” He almost didn’t understand the words. Not angry, only startled, and Rus jerked up his skull to look into crimson eyelights, set in a face that he knew and the flame in his soul became an inferno.

That was what he needed.

He reached out, a sob strangling in his throat. Tripped over his own stupid feet, but strong arms caught him before he could hit the floor. Rus tried to talk, to beg, plead for something, but the words strangled off before they could leave his mouth.

Distantly, he heard a low murmur next to his skull, blissfully soothing, “Shhh, I have you. I have you. It’s all right, I’m here.”

His soul yearned towards that voice and so did Rus, turning towards it to bury his face against a bony sternum and the sudden urge to sink his teeth into it, to bite, to mark, was impossible to resist. He heard a groan as he sank his teeth in, hard, tasting the hot, salty blurt of marrow as the bone parted. Breath hissing above his head, but there was no struggle, no protests. Hands held him in close, petting his skull, his back, anywhere they could reach.

This, this was what he needed, and when he lifted his head, still tasting hot marrow and blindly searching, a mouth descended on his, and Rus was lost.

~~*~~

TBC

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: greywash

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Hi, I'm greywash! I usually go by Gins, I'm 37, I'm an engineer, and I live with my beta/writing and queerplatonic life partner HBBO (havingbeenbreathedout) in the cheap(er) seats outside San Francisco.

How long have you been writing for?

I apparently "wrote" and "illustrated" a story for my mom about a dragon who forgets his best friend's birthday when I was three, so. It's been a minute. I kill fewer crayons these days.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

Well... basically, I followed @longnationalnightmare in from another fandom, and a few people on my Tumblr dash were reblogging gifsets, so I originally watched the show basically just for more context. (The threeway. By "more context," I mean "the threeway.") Anyway, it took me about 0.3 episodes to be completely hooked: I had read the books a few years back and was ambivalent about a lot of things in them, so when I started watching the show I was expecting a lot less than I got? I'd expected a sort of silly B-show with lousy acting, and, I mean... it is frequently *very* silly, but then it turned out that the cast ranges from 'very good' to 'incredible', and the interpersonal dynamics are *fantastic*, and those are both pure fannish bait for me. The show's not perfect, but they fixed a lot of my problems with the books, a lot of which lived on a character development level... I think the show really has done some incredible work with Quentin, especially; and also with depictions of complex, liminally-sexual queer friendships, like the relationship between Margo and Eliot, which I feel like I've never encountered represented this well in any other visual media source, ever.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Ooh, that's hard. Eliot is just my hands-down full-stop favorite character, but there's always that tricky question of "who is your favorite character to write *in the point of view of*" versus "who is your favorite character to write *about*," especially when you have a relationship or relationships you're really invested in (for me, the asymmetrical Quentin/Eliot/Margo triad). When I want to write stories that are love letters to Eliot Waugh, which is often, then I want to write from Quentin or Margo's point of view, because when I write Eliot's point of view, I am inevitably writing love letters to one or the both of them.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

Well, since I came into the fandom during the post-S3 hiatus—I started watching the show in October—just by default that's where most of my work is grounded, so far.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Oh boy, I sure am! I have a lot of work to do on my 39 Graves fic, and then I still have, hm, probably another... twenty or thirty thousand words, ish? On "The Marriage Plot," which is the sequel (...sort of) to "Firebird" and also my sort of... emotional raison d'fanfic, for The Magicians. It's sort of a, uhh... well, let's call it an un-arranged-marriage fic, is the best way I can think of to put it.

How long is your “to do list”?

Oh gosh. It's atrocious, but it's also not all for /The Magicians/. There's "The Marriage Plot," but I also have a long-running /Sherlock/ WIP that got toootally hijacked by me suddenly desperately needing to write hundreds of thousands of words about Eliot and Quentin not getting married, and so I'm just getting back into that; and then I have 39 Graves. I also still owe my partner a /Sneaky Pete/ storylet and have two other outstanding prompts from the summer, one for /Lewis/ and the other for... I.... totally don't remember! /The Good Place/, I think? I saved it around here somewhere. On top of that, I'm doing fan_flashworks bingo over on Dreamwidth, and I don't want my entire bingo card to be "The Magicians," though so far that's been somewhat difficult to resist. And I love the weekly prompt idea that the Rec Center and the Neitherlands Library are running for S4! I had a blast writing for the "Identity" prompt and am looking forward to this week's as well. Well, at least I write fast.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

I think I have to say "Firebird," because I haven't finished "The Marriage Plot," and who knows how that'll go; but they're so inextricably linked in my mind it's hard for me to think of "Firebird" as like—its own separate thing? I guess I can say that "Firebird" was really uncomfortable in places to write, so I'm proud of myself for getting it done without flinching away from all the, like, body horror and murder and super dubious consent; and I think it does what I want it to do. We'll see how I feel when I finish "The Marriage Plot."

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

Well, I definitely haven't been here long enough or written enough stuff to have that feeling, but—let's say "The Get Down," which is just a little bonbon about Margo and Eliot being best friends and banging a psychic. I love themmmmm~ ~ ~

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

I'm not particularly superstitious about writing, but I am hugely invested in my writing routine—I'm a write-every-day person, and I do mean 'every day'; I'm on a 2,179 day streak on 750words.com—that's a little shy of six years. People are usually horrified when I admit this, but: I get up at 5:15 in the morning seven days a week so that I can put on headphones and write for at least an hour and often more like two before work, or whatever it is that I'm doing that day. (I also go to bed at like.... eight forty-five. I am a party animal.) I also very frequently write on my lunch breaks and have the excellent fortune to live with my writing partner, so we spend loads of time writing on the weekends and talking about fiction. This is literally the life of my dreams, but you have to be a very specific kind of obsessive weirdo to feel that way, I think.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I am too much of an egg in this fandom to have an answer to this one yet, I think. :) I probably wouldn't start a longfic during the season, but shortfic, sure, why not?

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

"Firebird," because of all the aforementioned body horror and murder and super dubious consent. I am a delicate flower, who happens to be fascinated with narrative about people confronting their personal monstrousness. It's a tough row to hoe, man.

Are there any themes or tropes that you like particularly like to explore in your writing?

For /The Magicians/, the particular dead horse that I love to flog is Fillorian marriage, and the implications that forced fidelity have for consent; and also just for how intimacy *works*, within a marriage or a long-term relationship where that sense of choice, of choosing and being chosen, is so much of what lends richness to the relationship.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Nonfannishly: Georgette Heyer, Sarah Waters, Herman Melville, Miranda July. Fannishly.... whoo boy. In /The Magicians/, I'm still catching up on all the great stuff that people have written! @longnationalnightmare , @adjovi , @achray , @shmazarov, @numinousnumbat , and @ohmarqueliot are some of my favorites so far... in other fandoms: gosh, where to even start, I've been in fandom for 20+ years, we could be here a while. I guess since we're on the subject (sort of) of the monstrous, I reread @1001cranes ' "disguise fair nature with hard-favoured rage" the other day and was just as floored by it now as I was... gosh, was that really seven years ago? Well, it's evergreen, go read it again. @septembriseur for fiction about altered consciousness. @drawsaurus for the interplay between warmth and brittleness and humor and darkness. @helenish for her endings. @havingbeenbreathedout for the interplay between sex and story, and basically everything else as well.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Right now, I have open on my laptop: (1) @astolat 's "And I Alone Have Escaped to Tell You [which I've read before], (2) @ohmarqueliot 's "Reaching in the Dark" [which I haven't started], and (3) what is, in context, the most ironic thing *ever*: a handbook on strategies for managing ADHD. What? Don't judge me.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Basically that learning to write is just figuring out how to ask yourself "What are you trying to do with this _______?" (comma, word, line, paragraph, chapter, story), and then figuring out how to answer. (Thanks, Dad!)

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Oh, I mean—I'm pretty okay with even the totally predictable bits of my narrative voice, I don't stress about it too hard anymore, but yes, there are a bunch of words I *know* I overuse. Especially since I'm a little bit blind to repeated words if I'm reading and not listening to my work read aloud, which—I try to do at least one pass where I get my computer to read to me when I'm editing, but I need to have both time and focus to make that work, both of which, I find, are often in short supply. "Tells"—he tells her, she told him—is *the worst*; I'm always looking for it my brain just skips over completely, it's like it's not even a word for me anymore.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Oh dear. I'd been in fandom for several years before I started writing, but as I recall, the first thing I actually wrote was an exceptionally overwrought and tragic Snape POV Remus/Sirius story. I have no idea what happened to it and I'm almost certainly happiest that way.

Self-edit or Beta?

Both!

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes?

All are delicious.

Smut, Fluff or Angst?

Smut.

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn?

Quick and dirty on the sex and slow burn on the feelings.

Favourite season?

Season Two

Favourite Episode?

Cheat Day

Favourite book?

The Magicians

Three favourite words?

lovely, devastating, yearning

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[bakudekuficlibrary]

Do you have any fics where BkDk have the their “first time” together?

Hiya! Here’s a mini-list of fics tagged as “First Time”!

-Ellie

40 Works.

Before Midnight by DriftingGlass ( E | 211,528 | 28/28 )

Izuku Midoriya takes the same train to and from school Monday through Friday, morning and night. His only company during these lonesome hours comes in the form of another boy his age—a teen with scarred hands and blood gem eyes, a stranger with ash-blond hair who walks in a shroud of danger and mystery.

“Would you stop with that fucking muttering, idiot?”

And before Izuku can find his footing, his life becomes a full-blown collision course thanks to walking cannonball Katsuki Bakugou.

(And along the way he may have found the missing fuel to his fire).

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | Emotional/Psychological Abuse | Attempted Sexual Assault]

drag me to the deeps of your heart by halcyonwhispers ( E | 5,945 | 1/1 )

Everyone presents on their 17th birthday, and while Katsuki has already (alpha, big fuckin’ shocker), he awaits his boyfriend’s presentation to finally get over the nonexistent (slight) curiosity over Izuku’s new rank.

He can’t be an alpha, not crybaby, overthinking Deku. Anyways, both his parents are betas, and all that genetic and biology shit says Deku’s bound for that road.

(he thinks)

SeriesPart 1 of The (Im)Proper Way to an Alpha-Omega Courtship

[Underage]

Honeymoon High by Butterfree ( T | 115,021 | 18/18 )

“OI, FUCKFACE! If you think you’re just going to waltz into this fancy-ass church with your fake as shit smile and your miserable bitch of a wife while my friend is sitting on the street carrying YOUR BABY, then YOU need to step right down here SO I CAN DETONATE YOUR ASS UNTIL NO ONE CAN RECOGNIZE YOUR LYING FACE, YOU DIPSHIT EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!”

A beat of silence.

And then all hell broke loose.

It started with a ‘SLAP’ resonating from the bride who activated some quirk to maximize the pain that her ex-fiancé felt. A lady near the front fainted, knocking over the table with the wedding cake and a glass swan sculpture. The scattered remains caused the ring bearer to jump up. Her quirk accidentally activated and sent the brides’ maids into the air. A man with half white and half red hair rushed to save the statue, but ended up tripping over a power line which engulfed the room in darkness. It didn’t take long for everyone else in the building to follow.

In the midst of the glory Katsuki felt at the complete chaos, a calloused hand grabbed his sleeve. He was met with wide and curious green eyes. “Excuse me, I’m the groom. Do I know you?”

.

Fuck. He crashed the wrong wedding.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

Don’t Set Your Drink Down by Crandberrycrush ( E | 79,363+ | 20/21 )

With sudden clarity Izuku realized he had broken the first rule of going out. Never leave your drink unattended.

Not-so-useless Deku by reigncloud ( E | 9,778 | 5/5 )

Katsuki just presses even closer, shoving Deku against the wall. “N-no!” Deku flails a bit, uselessly of course, and futilely tries to push Katsuki away. “Kacchan, don’t get so close!”

“Holy fuck, Deku. Is that what you’re trying to hide?” Katsuki has his thigh between Deku’s legs, and he can feel the other boy’s rock hard dick pressing against him. Deku’s hips jerk forward just a bit in response to the pressure of Katsuki’s body. “Shit, you absolute pervert. You fucking like this, don’t you?”

[Underage | Mildly Dubious Consent]

My Youth Is Yours by lalazee ( E | 2,419 | 1/1 )

“I love you.”“Gay.”“Are we really having this conversation while your dick is - oh.”

addendum: immersed by Ramabear (RyMagnatar) ( E | 2,733 | 1/1 )

After the confession on the beach, things do not cool down between Izuku and Katsuki even after they return to Izuku’s home together.

SeriesPart 4 of standing in awe of death

[Underage]

Panic by iknewaman ( E | 22,725 | 1/1 )

Katsuki’s experienced a load of ‘firsts’ in his lifetime, but his most memortable ones include the firsts he shared with Deku.

[Underage]

springtime of youth by claimedbydaryl ( E | 25,592 | 6/6 )

Now, Katsuki was capable of at least acknowledging that Izuku was his friend, but Izuku doesn’t think Katsuki knows that their rekindled relationship would entail things like talking, and almost-dates, and unsaid feelings.

(Or, the five times Izuku knew he would never forget the innocent sweetness of their childhood friendship despite all that had happened, and the one time Katsuki realised he had not forgotten it too).

addendum: connected by Ramabear (RyMagnatar) ( E | 3,699 | 1/1 )

Katsuki fulfills Izuku’s wish to become closer, become connected.

The first time sets the precedence.

SeriesPart 9 of standing in awe of death

[Underage]

Playgrounds and playing fields by Stars1Are1Metaphors ( E | 16,872 | 1/1 )

It starts as a game. Doctor and nurse, they call it. They’re childhood friends and there isn’t anyone they trust more than each other.

But somewhere down the line Bakugou and Midoriya end up in a very… complicated relationship.

[Underage]

[On Hiatus] synthesis by DriftingGlass ( M | 31,325+ | 6/? )

They didn’t know how it happened, or when a concept so fickle and ridiculous blossomed in the garden of doubts, anger, and pain in which they so frequently visited.

Between scarred hands and bloodied knuckles, unspoken thoughts stirred like petals in springtime rain.

Bakugo was not prepared for the undeniable change spurring between them.

Unfortunately, neither was Midoriya.

[Underage]

Storm Stayed by actualdevil ( E | 4,221 | 1/1 )

Inclement weather leads to finding shelter and reluctantly sharing a bed. Also, Kirishima was supposed to be here, damnit.

Took It Like a Champ by InfiniteTeal ( E | 3,238 | 1/1 )

Midoriya takes it like a champ when Bakugou forces him down to give the most miserable and rudest blow job of his life. He’s the one that leaves Bakugou speechless in the end.

[Underage | Dubious Consent]

Mark Me. Make Me Yours. by decadentbynature ( E | 10,062 | 1/1 )

Midoriya is the only Omega at UA and he’s been hiding it well but there’s one issue that threatens to expose him: his attraction to an Alpha, Bakugo. After being told to give some paperwork to Bakugo, Midoriya lets him into his dorm room and is immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Unable to help himself, he gives in to his urges, only to be discovered by Bakugo but instead of becoming enraged, Bakugo decides to give Midoriya exactly what he wants

[Mildly Dubious Consent Becomes Consensual]

May-December by Disney_Princess_Izuku ( M | 8,291+ | 2/3 )

Midoriya Izuku is quirkless, a single father, and a Beta to boot.

If that’s so, of all the people in the world, just why did Bakugou Katsuki (alpha, a Pro Hero in Training with a great quirk, and eighteen) picked Izuku as the poor recipient for his affections? There were a lot of omegas in Katsuki’s age range that he could pick, so all this attention and attempts on seduction the blond was using on Izuku made zero sense.

He really should have cleared up that childhood crush with Katsuki when he had the chance. Flattered as he was, he really couldn’t accept Katsuki’s… proposals.

Problem was: the interested twitch in Izuku’s pants was telling a different story.

[Age Difference]

Birthday Secrets by DMMegsie ( E | 8,815 | 1/1 )

During their first year, with all the hectic events, birthday celebrations fell to the wayside. However, now in their second year, the class is trying to celebrate everyone’s special date…. except for a certain explosive temper student.

Katsuki Bakugou didn’t really celebrate his birthday through middle school and never told anyone when the date was.

It was only when some of the class realizes that Izuku Midoriya knows, that trouble starts brewing. It also brings the question to mind of: Why does Katsuki hate his birthday in the first place?

SeriesPart 1 of Only Comes Once a Year

[Underage]

Young Blood by Lilith von Beilschmidt (LilithK) ( E | 5,981 | 1/1 )

Bakugou hadn’t gone to class and his mother asks his neighbour, Izuku Midoriya to ask for his due homework. Of course, she doesn’t know about the tense relationship between those two… And neither does Midoriya know about what was Kacchan doing when he came into his room. A little one-shot fanfic, basically a pwp because I wanted them to masturbate each other. That’s it.

[Underage]

Top hero by pixiebob ( E | 2,579 | 1/1 )

He had expected Deku to be sweet and innocent.

Alright, Deku is sweet.

He always smiles at him, he loves to cuddle, and he is just so open with his feelings he can say the cutest things and make Katsuki feel like exploding from embarassement.

But fuck innocent.

Midoriya Izuku is all sloppy kisses, plush lips trailing on neck, breathy laughs, hands under shirt.

I Miss You by kayjscage ( E | 5,618 | 1/1 )

Izuku didn’t think it would be so easy to start repairing a broken friendship, but Katsuki found him very persuasive.

To Mend A Hero by BluKrown ( E | 8,665 | 2/2 )

After being attacked by Shigaraki, Midoriya has been recovering.A week has gone by and Bakugo is obviously concerned about it.

[Underage | Past Rape/Non-Con]

[On Hiatus] When It Isn’t Like It Should Be by gobeyond ( M | 2,461+ | 3/? )

Jesus, what is wrong with this world. How the fuck did Deku end up an alpha and I’m the omega?

Katsuki had always been sure he would present as an alpha and Deku would be an omega. But what happens the results are actually the last thing he was expecting?

[Underage]

you have nothing to hide from me by QueerPinoy ( E | 2,582 | 1/1 )

Midoriya Izuku is ashamed of who he is. Who… they are? Who she is? He’s still not sure but he sure as hell doesn’t want to think about it right now. He pushes his femininity away like it’s a shameful thing, something to stay hidden, keep to himself. Sometimes he slips, lets a gesture through. Once he even painted his nails and kept them on for a whole day – black, an acceptable nail color for a boy going through his teenage angst. But this, the Izuku, he saw looking at himself in the dress he had mail-ordered, is his secret. The dress doesn’t quit him quite right – it drapes where it should be tight, falls too low on his torso, but it’s still precious and he still grins a stilted smile when he looks at himself in the mirror. No one would ever know about this dress. No one would ever know how he felt.

Bakugou Katsuki is the opposite. He could probably be stealth if he wasn’t so bombastic about who he is. He doesn’t even whisper it, doesn’t just tell his friends – he yells it out. “How the fuck am I more of a fuckin’ man than you?” “I’ve got more balls than you without even fucking having any!” He never bothers hiding. He has no shame. Izuku yearns to know what that’s like.

SeriesPart 3 of bakubowl

Belatedly by beebuzz ( E | 4,911 | 1/1 )

“It wasn’t a preposterous question. They’d done Things, plenty of things after years of pining and tension abruptly vanished, but never this.”

The boys fumble through their first time together with a lot of uncertainty and a heavy amount of taunting.

SeriesPart 2 of Steadfast

Hero Pants by zubateatscakes ( T | 1,077 | 1/1 )

Rated T for the first part. Katsuki and Izuku are about to do it for the first time, but then Bakugou notices something that completely turns him off.

True Colors by creatiwriter ( E | 4,051 | 1/1 )

Katsuki Bakugo has never been good at showing his true feelings, but that doesn’t stop Izuku Midoriya from trying.

You Talk Too Much by DastardlyDaisy ( E | 3,215 | 1/1 )

Bakugou and Midoriya have a strange relationship

[Underage]

stranger things by failbender ( M | 945 | 1/1 )

They’ve been dating for two months now, but sometimes it’s still strange.

Prompt fill: “You were never just my friend.”

SeriesPart 1 of prompt drabbles!

It Started With An Apple Slice by illu_nii ( E | 8,184 | 1/1 )

Was it for better or for worse? Usually I could tell. But this time, Kacchan wasn’t giving me any hints. Of course his actions toward me lately have been rather concerning for my friends, but to me it was just how Kacchan was. It was normal…

Right?

Birthday Surprises by DMMegsie ( E | 8,946 | 1/1 )

It has been two months.

School and the end of a term has really kept both Izuku and Katsuki apart with the exception for brief moments here and there in private.With their budding relationship a secret, and Izuku’s birthday on the horizon, it is only natural they’d want to take things further.

This is a sequel to the fic Birthday Secrets.

SeriesPart 2 of Only Comes Once a Year

[Underage]

Chapter 1 of Love in a Week by anonymousCat ( E | 450 | 1 out of 4 )

A series of one shots for katsudek week.

Learning to live by Luciel (Bananenfisch) ( M | 2,890+ | 3/? )

No man was created equal. Midoriya Izuku learned this harsh reality at the age of eight. It was not the diagnosis that he was quirkless, which shook his life.

No, it was not this diagnosis that destroyed his life. It was something much more serious.

or

where All Might is Midoriyas father. All is nice and peachy until Midoriya gets sick and they have to deal with the consequences and then Bakugo fucking Katsuki steps into Izukus life and becomes Izukus own special Hero.

[Major Character Death]

Endeavors of the Mind by Kattfish ( M | 22,027+ | 3/? )

Bakugo and Midoriya both struggle with different aspects of their newfound relationship. Katsuki wants to be more open with his affections for Deku, but is hindered by his intimacy issues. Izuku covets Kacchan’s affection, but is too afraid of being overbearing.BakuDeku-centric with mentions of KiriShido and TodoMomo. Yaoi. M/MLemon flavored chapters.

same ol’ mistakes by dekuberry ( M | 483 | 1/1 )

Izuku felt reborn, under a gaze he has never seen before.

Worth the Embarrassment by Zeekcat101 ( E | 2,771 | 1/1 )

Bakugou wants Midoriya to train NOW! Midoriya doesn’t even get to use the bathroom before he’s being dragged away, which ends up being both a curse and a blessing.

Fuckin’ Cleveland Ohio by QueerPinoy ( E | 2,377+ | 1/? )

Katsuki had a stupid, wonderful idea, and, of course, Deku had to suffer through it too.

consent is sexy by The_Potatoe ( M | 300 | 1/1 )

In which Katsuki and Izuku are very in love, and value communication.

Delicate by maiume( T | 554 | 1/1 )

Izuku waited for it for so long, he couldn’t help being anxious.

All Eyes on You by ibreatheakaashi ( M | 4,254+ | 1/? )

“Bakugou!” Uraraka pulls on him, forcing him to trail behind him. He hangs back, getting a clear look of him. He looked the same, same blonde wild hair, unable to be contained- just like him. His piercing red eyes stared directly at him, they were hardening and unmerciful, just as he remembered.

His sleeveless black and grey plaid jacket, showing of his bare arms.They were still muscled, he suspected it was due to Kirishima well being. Underneath his plain white shirt nearly see through, the jeans he wore couldn’t possibly be anymore tighter, hell they looked good.

—

aspiring ballet dancer Midoriya Izuku dreams of following in his mother’s footsteps, he wants to become the best. when he gets into Julliard, his dreams become true one step at a time. he finds out that his childhood friend Bakugou Katsuki, a talented hip-hop violinst is also attending.he believes he changed. but did he really? or is he the same arrogant boy he met 5 years ago? can they work together and rebuild their friendship, and if so than will he fall to him?

Инструкция by Explodocat ( E | 5,422 | 1/1 )

Каччан не так идеален, и в первый раз у него не получается.

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[ereri-fanfics]

Fic List #5

Not What I Need (But I Want It All The Same)  by atotallyoriginalusername

Status: Ongoing

Words: 5,096

Chapters: 2/?

Last Updated: 2017-05-29

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Angst, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asshole Cats, Introspection, Present Tense, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), POV Third Person, Rated E for future chapters, this might take a while, Slow Build, I'm trying, British English, My terrible understanding of American Colloquialisms, I've only been to America twice, I've learned most of it from movies, Which means I've stereotyped you, I've probably insulted your culture, I'm sorry America, I'm not confident about this, Terrible space imagery, This probably doesn't have any plot really, Eren is an angry boy, Levi is a bit of a moron, but I love them both, Fuck is used like punctuation, Cos I swear a lot, i like to swear, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, This is probably not as miserable as the summary makes it out to be, and I have a very strange sense of humour, I've probably insulted your religion too. I'm sorry, POV Eren Yeager, Homophobic Language, Casual misogyny, Cocktail Themed Innuendo, I have grammar ocd so i keep editing this

32-year-old Levi Ackerman doesn't realise just how bored he really is. Jaded, stuck in a routine of work, gym, clean, oblivion and bordering on clinically depressed, to say things are a bit shitty is an understatement.

24-year-old Eren Jaeger has a problem. Fired from his job as an English Teacher after assaulting a student's father (the guy was an asshole), he just about manages to avoid jail time thanks to his lawyer (and ex-lover, also an asshole), and now he has to spend the next six months in anger management classes with some pacifist asshole looking down on him and showing him how to "cope with things".

When Levi's asshole cat knocks a bottle of his best scotch from the roof of his apartment block, almost killing one unsuspecting Eren Jaeger, neither man realises how much of an impact it will have on both of their lives.

A Dangerous First Love by Kiaki

Status: Ongoing

Words: 7,943

Chapters: 4/?

Last Updated: 2017-05-29

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Cafe Maria, Police, Alternate Universe, Modern Era, High School, Gangs, Titans, Shiganshina Trio, University, College, Romance, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Sex, Love, Crimes & Criminals, Murder, Prison

Eren’s life is at an all time low. His half-sister and best friend, Mikasa and Armin, have both been accepted into Trost University, but Eren has been rejected by yet another college. All he wants to do is prove that he is worth more than his father, who mysteriously vanishes. Little does Eren know, that his father didn’t just abandon him for nothing.

It’s the trio’s final year at Shiganshina High, and after a celebratory coffee, Eren meets Levi, an attractive barista at the cafe whom he can’t keep his eyes off. What Eren doesn’t realize, is that this short, raven-haired man has messy past that Eren would be safe to avoid, and that Levi has connections to him that bring them closer than either of them could have ever realized.

The Meaning Of Life by pyxy_styx

Status: Ongoing

Words: 87,956

Chapters: 35/?

Last updated: 2017-05-29

Rating: Teen And Up

Tags: Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Fluff and Angst, No Smut, Implied Sexual Content, Slow Build, Eating Disorders, Off-screen Relationship(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con

"I once again closed my eyes wondering if I would live to see another day, or if I even wanted to. Because honestly, what was the meaning of this life?"

Eren Jaeger is in an abusive relationship and struggling to leave, and when things take a turn for the worst he has no options left. Months later he's back on his feet, and when his friend and manager invites him to a party, he's decides to take a chance and start living his life again. That's when he meets him, Levi Ackerman. He's falling fast, but he's afraid of ending up in another abusive relationship so he pushes Levi away, but one night Levi will there when no one else is around. Will Eren finally understand the meaning of life?

Heavydirtysoul by Sereiin

Status: Ongoing

Words: 92,570

Chapters: 27/?

Last Updated: 2017-05-30

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - High School, Underage Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Infidelity, Promiscuity, Teenage Drama, Angst, Angst and Porn, Self-Harm, mentions of dubious consent?, Suicidal Thoughts, Character Death, mentions of depression

Eren has a boyfriend, multiple fuckbuddies, and a blatant disregard for anyone's feelings but his own. Is it ever too late for a chance at redemption?

Levi doesn't find himself to be a masochist, but he must be for falling in love with somebody so unattainable. When loving someone comes at the expense of yourself, how much are you willing to give--how much can you give before it breaks you?

(Or the petty teenage drama nobody asked for. Teenagers are (stupid) people and people make mistakes, everything has a consequence, and sometimes addictions are soul consuming.)

Addicted To You by Happys_Dragon

Status: Ongoing

Words: 63,255

Chapters: 17/?

Last Updated: 2017-05-28

Rating: Explicit

Tags: erenxlevi - Freeform, levixeren - Freeform, Past Relationship(s), Character Development, Relationship(s), Smut, slight sexual tension, Multiple Pairings, Bottom Levi, Top Eren, AU, Student AU, Fluff

Overcoming an addiction is tough, Eren could spout out in detail just how agonizing it could be, but when he becomes entranced with someone and not something, his mind might be changed forever.

I'll find your voice in my mouth, I'll wear your clothes 'til you come home by unhappy_turtle

Status: Ongoing

Words: 8,720

Chapters: 6/?

Last Updated:

Rating: Mature

Tags: Past Drug Use, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Brief Mention of Suicide

“I love you,” Levi says, attempting to put every aspect of what he feels into the complicated emotion.

“Love you, too.”

“No, Eren, I love you.” He repeats, just so Eren will hopefully understand the depths of the word.

"Dude,” Eren says, “I know. Catch you later.”

Beached by morebeesthanyoucouldimagine

Status: Ongoing

Words: 23,851

Chapters: 10/?

Last Updated: 2017-04-24

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Fluff and Smut, Slow Build, merman eren, Angst and Hurt/Comfort

A curious merman is washed ashore during a storm and found by Levi, who decides to show his new fishy friend what it's like to be human before sending him back to the sea. Slow build with lotsa fluffiness along the way! There will be smut (eventually), so hang in there!

Rise On Freedom’s Wings by Icecat45

Status: Ongoing

Words: 36,289

Chapters: 18/?

Last updated: 2017-04-24

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Light Angst, Friends to Lovers, Switching, Wingfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trust, Healing, canonverse, Comfort, Bonding, Intimacy, Fluff, Fluff and Mush, Praise Kink, Massage, Body Worship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Enthusiastic Consent, Masturbation, Watching, Blow Jobs, Naked Cuddling, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Shower Sex, Hand Jobs

After the Titans are defeated, Levi and Eren are sent on a short expedition beyond the walls in winter. Neither of them planned on taking shelter from a blizzard, just the two of them, in a cave with only a fire to keep them warm.

Not only that, but Levi has been hiding a truly incredible secret. A secret that Eren accidentally discovers. And the discovery of this secret will eventually bring the two of them closer than they would have ever imagined.

The Ackerman's Guide to Dating by StarChaser93

Status: Ongoing

Words: 173,346

Chapters: 32/?

Last updated: 2017-04-23

Rating: Mature

Tags: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, 104th Training Corps - Freeform, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, everyone's in high school, just because I need it, Levi and Mikasa are twins, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Pining Levi, Pining Mikasa, Awkward Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)

Levi and Mikasa start a new school. The first problem arrives in the form of Eren Yeager. The second problem in the form of Annie Leonhart. The third problem? Their very conservative parents who don't know their kids are gay.

So they come up with a plan of attack.

Levi will 'date' Annie while Mikasa 'dates' Eren, and when they finally get them to stay over for the night their parents will insist on the 'couples' staying in separate rooms.

Jokes on their parents, though.