#the concept of outliving your own story is one that never fails to get under my skin

[wyfy-meltdown]

The fact that Mami is only 15 screws me up a little. She's barely older than Madoka and the rest of the girls and yet she forces herself into the "mature responsible caretaker" role. I get that magical girls don't live long, but I expected the 16-18 age range for her.

[chasingmyfreedom]

Dear Diary,

(CW for Death musing, suicide ideation/mentions, gorey descriptions)

I need to get this off my chest before it eats me alive. Normally, I’d summarize the day before I reopened my wounds, but there was nothing really of note that happened. It was an average day. One of the more scheduled times I meet with John to spar. In fact, that’s what brought the issue to my attention. Well, the Peters girls were first, but twice is coincidence, thrice is a trend. 

The Crowd is planning something They’re calling “Sundown,” and have been for a while. We don’t really know what it is, even Their own don’t, but Watchers were warning Their loyal that if they were even seen with a member of the club, they would receive no mercy from their God. We have theories, strong ones, about what this event is, but nothing set in stone. Perhaps that’s why it scares me so much.

The Flame’s theory is that this is a mass conversion. The Crowd plans to use the Old Tongue against us to reprogram our minds and bring us all under Their reign in time for Their new Voice. It would explain why They’re supposedly bringing in everyone They can; you need numbers to perform a mass ceremony as far as I’m aware. I’ll admit, I’m a bit... behind on the Old Tongue, so I know more of how it works than the language itself. I’ve noticed a few more cars on the street and a few more unfamiliar faces around town recently, so the influx of people seems confirmed. The use of Old Tongue is more in the realm of hypothesis and comes from the Grandmother, if I remember correctly. Though, I suppose it doesn’t matter much what came from who at this point. Moves are clearly being made, so something is certainly happening. The instatement of a new Voice. A shifting of power. They want to scare us into submission. To prove that They have power over the town still, despite the other Voices that arrived here. 

To be honest? That... terrifies me. I spent twelve years being forced to do what my family wanted. Two or three of those was spent hiding my interests, exploring “useless” things while no one was looking. I’ve spent the last four years trying to undo that damage and actually investigate the world and myself. It took four years to prove to myself that I don’t have to be them, that I can do whatever I want, no matter how useless people may think it is, but that can all be taken away in a moment. The little progress I’ve made, all gone, drowned beneath discordant harmonies. 

That scares me. It scares me worse than death. Death isn’t scary. There’s always someone who will remember you, and as long as they do, you’re not truly dead. As long as you leave some sort of legacy, even a small one, you’ll never be truly forgotten. But this? This could end everything. We’d become... puppets, at best; blissfully unaware of what was happening around us and unable to fight back. We’d become what They want us to be: perfect little obedient husks, only there to be the flesh They claim as Their own. 

I’m through being what others want me to be. The only thing that matters is my satisfaction. But They’re going to take that choice away and give us a different one: 

Join Them or kill yourself. 

Those are the options really. Either you come to terms with the fact you may never wake up again and know only Their fake, plastic bliss, or you take your own life so They can’t have the satisfaction or utility. 

I don’t know how I feel about that. I feel... conflicted. Afraid. Angry. Determined. Tired. Trapped. Panicked. I can feel it in my body. Just thinking about it I can barely write. I thought I was finally free. But I’m not. I’m still just as trapped as I was before this one just wears a different mask but the blood’s all the same. I’m afraid to lose myself. I’m angry that They dare try. I’m determined to stop them, but I’m so tired of having to fight for every little thing I should just be entitled to! I shouldn’t have to fight for the right to live-! No one should-! I shouldn’t have to scour censored pages for any scrap of information! I shouldn’t have to be afraid I’ll lose the few things I brought with me! I shouldn’t have to fight for my life every day! It’s exhausting. 

I’ve tasted Their Song. It’s bitter. Enticing in the same way as poisonous creatures are. To lose all sense of who you are... It’s awful. You’re nothing more than a writhing bag of blood and bones desperately trying to keep itself alive long enough to make more. I don’t want to be reduced to that. I refuse to be reduced to that. If that means that, in my final moments of clarity, I have to be the one to pierce my own heart and paint Their town red, so be it. I don’t want to die. There’s too many things I haven’t seen. But between The Song and Death, I’ll take my chances on an afterlife. 

But what’s more exhausting is that They might fail. If Their sequence is wrong or They let one wrong person in, there could be worse damage done. I’d like to be optimistic and say that this Pact has enough information to stop Them, but it’s obvious they don’t. One of them crawled back into the womb in fear, but I can see His reasoning. One of them has gone completely silent, engaged in a silent war of His own. One is in pieces and barely playing paperboy. And the last will have the Grandmother to distract Her soon if we’re not careful. How could any of them get anything done? Did they expect to be productive? 

Before I got here, they decided on the Hunter as their target. I’m afraid they’ve forgotten the other half of the war. They won’t be able to stop Sundown. They won’t be able to stop the Hunter. It’s only a matter of time who gets to us first. After all, He’s still working in the background. He’s still taking me Gods know where and dropping me deeper in the woods every time. If He’s smart, He’ll strike at Sundown. The Pact will be in disarray, The Crowd will be distracted, it’s the perfect opportunity to strike. I don’t think The Crowd can defeat him. His concept is too universal. Too difficult to kill. There’s too many horrible people in the world. There’s too many horrible people in Their Song. They can’t kill Him. 

If He strikes, then we’re equally dead. There’s maybe a handful of people in this entire town who know how to fend for themselves. An even smaller handful that would survive. With my newfound weaknesses, I’m not sure I can count myself amongst them. 

Somehow though, He’s more merciful than They are. The Crowd gives you no choice; the Hunter allows you to flee because it will make the Hunt more interesting. A Hunt... that’s what this will be. I suppose I am old enough now, aren’t I? A year older than Michael. I never thought I’d outlive him.

I’m... confused. Why do I suddenly want Him to win? It... burns. I can feel it. Shame, disgust... anticipation. My chest hurts. It feels like it's trying to burst out from itself. I can feel the acid in my throat. 

I want Him to win because I would have a chance. If I could escape, I could try again. I don’t want to escape alone. I’d probably have to, one way or another. 

This feeling is ugly. Painful. I don’t like it. I don’t like being powerless. I don’t like my choices being taken away. I don’t like having to abandon someone. I don’t want to leave my brother here. I don’t want to leave Maddie here. I don’t want to leave Alex here. I don’t want to leave John here. I don’t want to leave Uni here. She’d never make it through a Hunt. I don’t know if any of them could. I don’t know how they did it. Maybe I should have listened to Michael and Gabriel more. 

It is the end of the fucking world, isn’t it? 

I’m being... dramatic. It’s not the whole world, it’s just the end of mine. I don’t know what I want to do about it. I wish I knew how it was ending. That would make preparing easier. 

If I knew the Crowd would win, I would just enjoy myself. Maybe be reckless. I should try it once, even though it’s stupid. It would take the risk out of everything. I don’t want Them to have me anyway. Maybe I could say something. Or find my brother. Tie up loose ends.

If I knew the Hunter would win, I’d make sure I trained the whole time. Remind myself how to hunt. Read a few more local flora books to find out what’s poisonous. See if I can figure out how to farm. If I could survive long enough, I could get out. Page would have my head, but it’s the price to pay for a continuing story, right? But I wouldn’t let Him have me either. I hope He has fun taking skill from my cold, dead body. 

... Fuck. I only meant to pick a scab, not gut myself all over the page. But I have to feel it, right? If I suppress it again, it’ll come out when I don’t want it to. I’m allowed to feel things. That’s what Dr. Garrison said. I can’t let this come out while I’m teaching. I can’t let this lash out at people. I can’t knock out my students. I can’t overly harm my sparring partner. We need as many people as we can get to have any chance at all. They can’t learn if they’re unconscious. They can’t fight if they’re too wounded. I can’t fight if I let this control me. 

I have to pretend I have some hope. I have to look for the names. I have to help the Grandmother. I have to find a way to re-write the Song. I have to fight. 

... But today, I’m allowed to cry about this. I’m allowed one day. That’s what Dr. Garrison said. I can cry today. I don’t want to, but I already am, so I might as well make a day of it-! I’ll take the day off from school. I’ll tell Yvonne the nightmares were too bad. I can’t do this. 

I can’t do this today. I’ll be back tomorrow. 

[airlock]

airlock grades the Camus archetype

next in this series, we delve into the world of fancy jackets, ebon horses, and loves that cannot be. that’s right -- it’s the day in the lives of the one who was fortunate enough to fuck off into the ocean with no memories, and all the other ones who just straight-up died!

(do note: under cut are spoilers for… everything, and also a significant amount of me criticizing or blamming characters that you might like. you’ve been warned! but if you’d press on, then I’m afraid I have no choice but to face you on the battlefield-)

a foreword

so, I’m not trying to end up rating every single semi-sympathetic miniboss out here; to this end, I will be working with a very specific definition of a Camus for this exercise. I do not claim it to be the definition of a Camus; it’s simply what I’ll be working with. it’s as such: a Camus is a secondary villain who is characterized as virtuous, but tragically doomed to stand against the player characters, either in keeping with the aforementioned virtue, because of an overpowering external circumstance, or both.

so, let us dig in!

camoo

(7/10)

there he is, folks! the man whose dick launches thousands of ships, hurtling into each other on a maelstrom of tragedy.

a multitude of appearances -- matched only by a certain trio of flying girls -- has given him incredible room to expand as a complex, dynamic character. where his original appearance alone might blip as gently tragic but not incredibly compelling, he’s incrementally gained a robust character, and ultimately got to be one of the ones who managed to elude the pits of data size issues in Akaneian characterization.

screaming camus

(1/10)

is it a stretch to tout him as a “virtuous” character? perhaps, but for the purposes of classification alone, intent weighs a little more than execution, and I think it’s clear that the writers had intended for Berkut to be sympathetic, but tragic, as far as secondary antagonists go.

unfortunately, though, they failed big time. Ian Sinclair’s stellar voice acting counts in Berkut’s favor, but little else does. his character is nigh-on pastiche and he seems to hog a lot of screentime without adding anything of significant interest to the story or to other characters. his motivations, while genuine enough, are irritatingly played by the narrative as being sympathetic when they absolutely are not; and worst of all, his fall from grace is severely cheapened by ending on a note of easy redemption that he does not at all deserve.

mongolian camus

(4/10)

in concept, this is a brillant player punch; as if Hardin wasn’t enough, you have to make enemies of even more of those who fought by your side on the previous game, and this guy -- alongside his underlings bar Roshea -- aren’t even fighting you because they’ve gone mad; they’re the same as they were before, and it’s only unfortunate that now, their master is no longer on your side.

however, further labor on the execution front would have been invaluable here. as far as Camuses (camusi? camii? camee?) go, the ole Wolfpack has a lot less time in the limelight than is par for the course, and the one-two maps they haunt don’t leave enough room to draw out the drama.

I’m not docking points for this, but New Mystery of the Emblem also does the Wolfpack a serious disservice in making them all recruitable. besides being a cowardly evasion from the tragedies of war that Fire Emblem is well-known to mercilessly portray, it’s not even a better outcome for them personally. like, have you seen Wolf’s epilogue? and it’s only further a shame after Shadow Dragon went and made Wolf and Sedgar so busted they may have had a better chance to leave an impression on the player -- which would then have made it all the more of a gut twister if they’d remained as full proper... goddamnit I’m not doing the plural Camus thing again.

wine camus

(10/10)

without hesitation, one of the most effective... camus characters, okay, there, I settled that... ever written. it’s sad enough when you have to snuff out someone nice because war is hell and the world is an awful place, but having the guy be the protagonist’s best friend is just ruthless.

and it’s not just text, either; it’s set up brillantly. Eldigan and Sigurd’s good bond is put well on display before it’s brutally shattered. he’s even given an unusual out in that you don’t have to kill him -- but if you don’t, Chagall will! hoohoohoo, Jugdral is the bestworst.

seriously, though, I think I’ve honest to god cried at least once about Eldigan, and making me cry is pretty difficult -- like, outside of an argument or other situation where crying totally sabotages me so of course my body will do that to me.

thunder camus

(5/10)

I appreciate an extremely powerful female character as much as anyone should, but other than that, I will have to admit that I don’t find her incredibly compelling.

although Genealogy of the Holy War may have been the game that gave us Hilda, it very much betrays the Kagaman’s hesitancy in letting women be villainous, and there are not many better examples of this than Ishtar here. as far as Camus characters (hahahaha! I am unstoppable!) go, she’s one of the most virtuous -- and also one with the flimsiest reasons for staying the course of villainy anyway.

like, sure, she has a boyfriend who turned into satan. we sure get told that. and then it stays as absolutely nothing other than text, when she tends to act like she’s being forced by the greatest of all powers to continue opposing you. Thracia 776 at least strengthens the script by depicting the extant relationship as an abusive one, which would shed a little more sense into things, but it’s too little too late; too late because it’s one whole game later, and too little because Ishtar and Julius are not focal characters of that game and don’t have enough room to expand in there. (plus, it’s not a great idea for Julius anyway -- he’s hellspawn, not a smooth operator.)

tiny hand camus

(5/10)

curiously, I’d actually bill Reinhardt here as a hybrid Camus-Michalis -- while his arc swallows elements of inevitable tragedy such as a star-crossed crush and a superior that he won’t defy, it never feels like he has to fight you in the way that a Camus normally does; rather, it feels like he chooses to anyway because of his shortcomings, in the way that a Michalis normally does.

and putting these things together... well, I’m grading the whole character here, but let’s be real, he’s far more effective of a Michalis than a Camus. intent regadless, sympathy isn’t usually the sentiment that he flints up, and I believe even Olwen is ultimately of that mindset; still, it gets to be a shame that he makes the choices he does when he’s otherwise not such an overtly repugnant type.

(I went this whole time not talking about Heroes, yes? that’s because I’m not going there. not the memes, not his thorougly botched characterization there, nothing.)

alamo camus

(2/10)

I believe that Galle and Murdock are intended as Camus characters (booyaka booyaka! shakalaka!) as well, but they’re so painfully inconsequential I’m not going to get sidetracked in their direction here.

Brunnya is not that much better off than they are, alas; she gets a little more screentime, but remains underdeveloped until her one chapter in the limelight. she does get to play an interesting role as a Camus who outlives her master and still decides to carry on his will, but we’ve seen better and more compelling all over this list.

double camus

(9/10)

oh, snap, there are two of them! ... well, so there were in Genealogy of the Holy War, but these here bros aren’t to be analyzed in isolation.

the moral complexities that they play at together are interesting, but I think that the coolest aspect of their character, by far, is that they play at being direct counterparts to Eliwood and Hector. the charming, reasonable one and the brutish, straightforward one who strengthen each other through their balance -- they’re shining mirrors of what could have been, or what comes to be when you take the same strengths as those of the heroes but place them irrevocably in the path of the villains. ... hmmm, I wonder if they’d have a non-adoptive sister if Lyn were, like, relevant at that point of the story.

their screentime is surprisingly short, but all indicates that they make tidal waves on the little time they have. I’m certain they’d have benefitted from more, but they’re still amongst the best of the Camus characters (I did it again!! I did it again!!).

not severa camus

(8/10)

although her tale is not as gut-wrenching as Eldigan’s or the Reed bros’, she’s one perfectly adequate Camus. virtuous, and impactfully so, but loyal to the end, and justifiedly so -- both in a relevant backstory and in a string of deceptions and misfortunes that play her stronger qualities against her.

I don’t find her to be a standout, but she’s a perfect execution of her own concept -- and considering the staggering amount of unfulfilled potential we’ve seen up to here, that deserves its due praise.

tincan camus

(4/10)

although he’s fairly interesting, the sins of his master befall him -- the reveal of his identity is severly dragged-out for also meaning very little until the additional reveal of his brand. and by then, it’s doomed to be only a blur out of the many unfulfilled twists in the Tower of Guidance.

even beneath the mask, he’s had a lot of chances for player punches that he missed out on. his confrontation with Greil emphatizes his role as Ashnard’s underling, instead of his role as Greil’s former student and Ike’s newly-made archrival, and I feel like that’s a severe mistake -- for one thing, it forces the cutscene to end with a lame halfway intervention from Caineghis, where it would’ve been perfectly viable for Ike to walk out of that one alive exclusively due to Zelgius’s own motivations.

even beyond that, his appearances in both Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn often play him as a plot device instead of a character; as a matter of fact, that ridiculous magic warp powder of his accomplishes no purpose other than enabling him to be a plot device wherever plot needs him (aside from how it silently explains how he lives a double life in two different countries, but that’s kind of a pointless detail).

and lastly, just how impossibly lame is it that he’s given a deadly final confrontation with Ike, that he’s just going to walk off of by the sequel anyway? it’s easy to see why it’s necessary for the plots of the two games it affects, but it’s laaaaaaaaame.

samurai camus

(1/10)

easily the least compelling of the list. he comes in to carry the half of a nonsense arc that doesn’t have enough room to fully build him, and it shows. and to make things worse, he’s one of the most notable sufferers of a syndrome that thorougly afflicts antagonists in Awakening and, to a lesser extent, beyond: a tendency to try to paint them as unambiguously evil before you fight them, but tragic and redeemable right after you fight them. which ultimately completely fails as the player punch that the writers ostensibly intended and robs the confrontation itself of much-needed gravitas.

if-conditional camus characters

(??/10)

hahahahaha!!! hahahahahahaahhahahahaaaa!! sockeye!!! I did the thing again and right in the middle of a nickname too!!

but yeah, I haven’t played Fates any more now than at the time of the Gharnef post.

anyways, what do you all think? have I earned your undying loyalty, or does chivalry demand that you slaughter me for my vile takes? if the upcoming Three Houses is to have a Camus... oh, who are we kidding, of course there’s going to be a Camus. in another life, things have been different, but this fate is inescapable. the only mercy we can extend for it now is to wonder what it’ll be like. once again, I welcome your comments in the replies and reblogs -- would you wrong your country by keeping them to yourself anyway?

[invertedgoogle]

Noragami Analysis: Ebisu and Iwami; Guideposts and Familial Relationships

This post is a continuation/elaboration of my last one on Ebisu’s theme of crying, but instead of focusing on a central motif, this one branches out into more related elements in the plot. Please bear with me if some things are repeated!

We know Ebisu’s (more widely believed) origin story of him being thrown away by his parents Izanagi and Izanami because he was born without bones/arms and legs. Yet, self-destructive tendencies aside, Ebisu is a comparatively well-adjusted god in Noragami. His maturity, ability to function well as a god and overall benevolence make him an ideal role model for Yato on his journey to become a god of fortune. @echodrops has an entire essay written on how Ebisu is such a good father figure to Yato- please go check it out (along with the other essays) it’s incredible and thoroughly researched.

So how does Ebisu, himself abandoned by his birth parents, manage to become who he is in the present day?

(More under cut)

We’ve been shown instances of gods taking fatherly/motherly roles towards their shinki (Yato, Bishamon, Arahabaki) and plenty of domestic spousal relationships between gods and shinki (Kazuma and Bishamon, Kofuku and Daikoku). But we don’t usually come across the parent-child dynamic between shinki and gods (note the order), which we’ve only seen with the gods who reincarnate and are raised by shinki: Takemikazuchi and Ebisu.

It’s shown that Ebisu values (or in the very least, shows understanding of) familial kinship.

Whether he’s saying this to Izanami as his supposed ‘biological’ mother or to the Olive Ken lady he looks up to as a mother (and who Izanami takes the form of to him), it’s clear that he does long for the mother he never had growing up.

And get this: besides fishing and commerce, Ebisu is also a patron deity of expectant mothers.

He gets prayers from people who want children (unlike his own mother), and sees how happy humans can be with families. He’d want to know how it might have been if his parents hadn’t thrown him away (still, I doubt that things would have been as rosy as he may imagine- just ask Kagutsuchi).

While the previous Ebisu’s mother figure had been a human woman (who will eventually age and die), he’s had a consistent father figure throughout his incarnations: Iwami.

As turbulent Ebisu’s existence is with his high reincarnation rate, Iwami is a dependable constant for Ebisu who will never change. And some part of this dependability is what Ebisu would want from a guardian: the kind his own parents had never shown him. While Izanagi and Izanami had abandoned him, Ebisu can trust Iwami to be there to guide his next incarnations even if he dies. (inserting a bit of headcanoning here, but adult Ebisu’s bluntness really looks like he takes after Iwami)

But before I go into anything specific about the Ebisu and Iwami dynamic, let’s run through the fundamentals of the Noragami world: what gods’ natures are and what shinki/guideposts are for.

In Noragami, gods are born from human wishes: no matter how big or small. The nature of those gods then depends on that wish, and it is sculpted specifically to enable them to fulfil the wish. However, gods have no innate concept of right and wrong and are therefore “justified” in doing anything their nature dictates them to do.

This would have been disastrous for the mortal world if it were not for shinki keeping the god they serve in check. Because shinki were once human, they can guide their gods to act in ways more acceptable to humans. We can call this the “nurture” to the god’s “nature”.

A guidepost is given an additional task besides their usual duties as shinki, and it’s Ebisu himself who introduces to us to guideposts.

A guidepost's responsibility is to show their gods the way and protect their name. Well, what exactly is the way? Isn’t it a bit vague? But that’s the whole point. There are infinite ways a god can be true to their nature. If we look at Yato for instance, his recurrent urge (and perhaps nature) to “cut things up” has manifested itself in killing people for centuries under Father’s instructions. 

It’s Yukine who points out that he can use this to “slice and rip chaos itself into shreds” after he consults him. He isn’t changing who Yato's nature to cut things: all he’s doing is interpreting it for him to better suit what he wants.

There are as many ways to be a guidepost as there are ways to be a god, because each guidepost interprets ‘protecting their god’s name’ differently. That’s how we go from Kazuma, who will do anything to protect Bishamon, to Kiun, who would kill Takemikazuchi to save his master’s good name. That’s why it’s important for a god to have a guidepost after their own heart: so they can be led the way they want to go (and also why having someone else choosing a god’s guidepost for them has such a serious impact).

When it comes to bringing up a god, Iwami’s certainly had much more expertise over the average guidepost/shinki. Be it trial and error over millennia or just old-age wisdom on Iwami’s part, Ebisu receives a pretty comprehensive education on being a god from Iwami.

Because we’ve seen Ebisu before and after reincarnation, we can compare the effects of his inborn “nature” and Iwami’s “nurture” on him. An example would be this (this is still a bit rickety logic-wise, but I thought it might be worth some discussion): one of adult Ebisu’s defining characteristics is his strong will that drives him to extreme lengths to make humans happy, even if it means sacrificing himself.

But from what we see from our newest Ebisu, patience... doesn’t look as “in his nature” as he says.

And if you squint, there's something interesting about Iwami’s lectures to restless, impatient teenagers:

Ebisu doesn’t seem to apply the virtue to himself (as an adult, he never does learn to tie his shoes or take care of himself, with Kunimi around) but we see this strong will reflected in his efforts to tame ayakashi. A lot of determination goes into putting himself through intense pain and eventual death just for a shot at reducing human suffering. Iwami teaches Ebisu to persevere so he won’t give up on what he wants to accomplish.

And think about a guidepost’s responsibility to nurture a god’s potential, teach them to know right and wrong, give them advice they need, especially the way it’s done for a god who is a child/young man for half the time... these duties are eerily similar to those of a parent's. 

Everything Iwami does is to supplement Ebisu’s nature: equipping him with all he needs to achieve his goals. However, for how instrumental he is to Ebisu’s upbringing, a crucial duty Iwami fails to do for Ebisu is being a proper guidepost: actually giving him his purpose as a god. 

Iwami’s line of thought as a guidepost is very passive: in fact, it’s so passive that the important instructions he gives to Ebisu are never from himself. 

These panels sum up Iwami’s philosophy. Seeing that Iwami had been a very old man for his time when he died, he’d want someone as young and (technically) full of life as Ebisu to live his life being free to do what he wants, without interference from someone who has already lived theirs. So fearing that his words might force Ebisu down a path he wouldn’t have taken otherwise, he passes down instructions to Ebisu only if they are “as per his previous incarnation’s wishes”, which in a way ‘preserves’ Ebisu’s wish across reincarnations. He thinks of influencing Ebisu’s decisions as a sin, and only dares to support him through complementary means: behaving more as his servant than an advisor.

Despite having to keep a healthy distance to avoid appropriating a god, a guidepost’s role is still, at its core, active. In Yato’s aforementioned dilemma, it’s Yukine who thinks up of a different path when Yato is at a loss and helps him figure it out together.

It’s easier to think of guideposts as actual tour guides. While a guide who drags you astray from your intended destination isn’t helpful, neither is a guide who assumes that you’re the one who knows better. Nobody needs a guide if they already know how to get where they want to go.

Iwami’s reservedness extends to the point where he doesn’t share about himself with Ebisu even when directly prompted to:

Ebisu wants to know about who he was, what he did, and how others saw him, but he doesn’t want the answers delivered through books and journals.

He wants to hear it from others so he, in turn, can get to know them better through conversation with them.

Ebisu just wants Iwami to talk to him.

For all of his devotion to his master, why does Iwami remove himself from Ebisu like this?

His explanation to Ebisu is that he doesn’t want to change his fate, but can we suspect more to that alibi? There’s a scene in the earlier chapters where High Sentinel Oushi guilt trips Ebisu’s shinki into betraying him:

The context here refers to the physical pain of Ebisu feels when his shinki are killed, but honestly, for the most time in Ebisu’s household, who's really the one going through “the pain of a child passing on before him”?

To Iwami, every Ebisu is the little boy he’s raised from childhood (how does that tiny Chibisu up there not remind you of “dad! dad! look!”). Iwami’s there to meet Ebisu when he’s newly reincarnated; he watches him grow, then watches him die. And once Ebisu reincarnates, he can’t even remember his name. 

It’s painful enough for a child to have a parent forget who they are or to have their parent pass away, but the exact opposite happens in Ebisu’s house. It’s Iwami who has his “child” forget him, who has his “child” die before he does.

And after Iwami outlives so many Ebisus, he has to raise him again and relive the nightmare. Ebisu has the ‘luxury’ (if you can call it that) of forgetting Iwami; Iwami doesn’t. The worst part is that Iwami exists to remember everything about the past Ebisu for the next one.

If Iwami keeps building close relationships with every Ebisu he serves, it’s only going to make his inevitable deaths and reincarnations more painful to bear. For the sake of carrying Ebisu’s wishes across incarnations, Iwami has to detach himself from his master so he won’t fall apart from the emotional toll that comes with it.

Iwami probably doesn’t even have the heart to directly tell Ebisu about his past incarnations and their wish to tame ayakashi. Instead, he’s always told Ebisu to read his predecessors’ journals, which inevitably include information on the subject. And precisely because Ebisu isn’t shown an alternative way to be the god Ebisu (and especially since his journals are all the pointers he has about who he supposedly was as an adult), he ends up thinking that taming ayakashi and carrying out his previous self’s wishes is the only way to be Ebisu. After that, Iwami can rationalise that it had been Ebisu himself who made the choice and that he is now obligated to help Ebisu to achieve it.

While Iwami has his own reasons for not sharing too much with Ebisu, Ebisu reads this silence as coldness towards him, that he’s not important enough to Iwami to be allowed to know him better. The flashback of Ebisu with the books shows Iwami facing Ebisu, but in Ebisu’s mind, it’s as good as though Iwami had turned away from him there and then: remaining both physically and emotionally removed. Iwami is abandoning Ebisu to himself.

No matter the incarnation, Ebisu still bonds much quicker with Iwami than other shinki, even Kunimi, his current guidepost. It’s clear who Ebisu’s favourite is.

Ebisu constantly looks to Iwami for guidance, but Iwami keeps silent, thinking it would be best if Ebisu lives his own life without input from him. The flaw in this approach is that its result hurts both Ebisu, who doesn’t want to die, and Iwami, who doesn’t want Ebisu to die either.

This vicious circle keeps them trapped in lives they are unhappy in. Unless Ebisu is shown a different path by Iwami, he can’t change from the one his predecessors took. And unless Ebisu changes what he wants to do, Iwami can’t show him anything else but what his predecessors have always done. 

The circle has long-term effects too: with each passing incarnation, Ebisu feels even more pressured to follow in his predecessor’s footsteps, and Iwami has to keep withdrawing himself from Ebisu, all while receiving the reinforced impression that Ebisu does wants to continue this self-destructive work.

By telling Ebisu to live and act on his own wish, Yato has already dealt a significant blow to the circle. But reforming only Ebisu’s mentality isn’t enough to permanently get rid of it; Iwami’s mindset must also change.

Up till now, Iwami’s been “protecting Ebisu’s name” by supporting whatever Ebisu decides to do, letting him finish what he had started in his previous lives. But after Kazuma’s confrontation, Iwami finally acts on a desire to protect the current Ebisu, not just Ebisu's “wishes” anymore. 

Father’s defeat is as important to Ebisu as it is to every other character.  Notice that when Kazuma tries to get Iwami to give him something helpful to stop Father, he tells Iwami “the root cause is clear", and that he could put an end to Ebisu’s fate of living short lives by helping destroy Father.

From the flashbacks, Ebisu has been tailing Father's work ever since he retrieved the first Koto no Ha (the flashback where baby Ebisu discovers a mask is from the Heian era, which approximately when Father starts using masks). Father has been using his masks to wreak havoc in the mortal world, but because Ebisu is right behind him learning how to tame them (even if it’s from scratch), Father has a form of check and balance, no matter how crude or underdeveloped it may be. Though Ebisu himself doesn’t yield much success in actually taming ayakashi, his accumulated knowledge about it alone can help other characters take Father down.

There are many reasons why Ebisu follows his predecessors’ wishes that stem from inertia, but Father has been the active reason why Ebisu cannot afford to stop taming ayakashi. 

What’s especially tragic about this set of panels is that Iwami’s wish for the young Ebisu had always been for him “to be whatever his heart desires”. Instead, in his efforts to preserve Ebisu’s ‘wish’ across incarnations, he’s ended up achieving the exact opposite.

And that’s why Iwami agrees to help Kazuma, even if it means breaking an old promise to Ebisu. Change starting to happen: from someone who had been afraid of deviating from the previous Ebisu’s wishes, Iwami now hopes to save the current Ebisu from having to die continuously by betraying his predecessor.

Once the sorcerer is stopped, Ebisu’s fate won’t be limited to taming ayakashi, and he'll be able to be a god of fortune without having to die for it. Iwami will finally be allowed to raise a single Ebisu, one who will no longer die young and forget him. And Ebisu could really use a father who can show that he cares for him.

(sorry this is so long I got pretty carried away with this lmao)

[impivus]

very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything 

aka im lazy 

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 )  years old .  some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL &  MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us .  ⇢  SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE  /  entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN  /  scorpio   ENNEAGRAM TYPE  /  7w8 KINSEY SCALE  /  3 MORAL ALIGNMENT /  chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS. 

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust . 

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free?  eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ??  i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once ..  have a hort  he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage.   queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger.  all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird )  that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic. 

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped. 

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu 

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away. 

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do 

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr: 

[moonraccoon-exe]

So proud of Cor for the address he gave to the glaives for Noctis' returned. He used his words and convaying emotions. Seems like a strange thing to focus on, but I think about how cold he was, with "That makes sense." statment as well as his other very impersonal statements in the begining of the story, to finally addressing his feelings about regis' death, albiet clumbsily at Caem, all the way up to the end with his parting words to Noctis, he grew alot. (#Episode Cor plz)

*THROWS ARMS IN THE AIR*

EPISODE COR, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE

UGH. Like always you have a very pretty way with words and wonderful thoughts that I’m always so honored to receive and read. You always leave me thinking, or in realizations that are like the smack of a shovel in the face, hahaha. This one is the sort to put me to thoughts.

Well, first off, I’m very sorry for taking this long, and thank you lots for the patience, Wombat friend. 

Now, about Cor and all you’re sharing.

I did like the way Cor talk to the Glaives about Noct. I do have to admit that I was sort of disappointed when he first meets the guys, sees Noct after TEN YEARS, Noct, the man he saw since he was but a baby, the man Cor would very literally give his life for to keep safe because he’s failed the other kings and doesn’t want to fail this one, and he’s just like “Yeh. Good to see you. Come this way.”

I was like

“:’D Cor please come hug me? At least say something else? G-good to see you? Cor…please don’t be this cold with me, Cor… :’D”

Hahahah, but then again, neither Square Enix nor Cor have been one for much sentimentalism, hm? 

And I hadn’t thought about it as in him warming up later. I still haven’t fought Cerberus (…well yes but it’s a long story, so let’s keep it as I haven’t fought Cerby boy XD) so I haven’t seen Cor’s scene there. All I’ve seen from him is the imperial bases quests and the conversations you get after you clear those (Regis and him crashing the Regalia, included!), so I haven’t seen that conversation where he just talks about two kings.

To be honest, I think that Squeenix did to Mors as they did to Lady Amicitia (just answered that one); “unimportant” character has no relevance in the story? LEt’s not make a single mention about said character. Lol. Hahahaha, so that’s why Cor maybe mentions just 2; had he said 3, maybe the fans would have gone nuts like “3? Which 3 kings? Omg who was the previous one?” (not all know Mors’ name), so it would have felt like they missed something and maybe Squeenix just wanted to avoid all this “WHY YOU NOT GIVE US ALL INFO D:”

BUT

Let’s roll with this idea that Cor didn’t mention Mors on purpose, as you say.

*puts fingertips together and nods*

Yes, yes. I see what you’re saying and I’m into a lot of thoughts and reflecting hurrrrrrrrrr.

But wait, I didn’t talk about that he grew. Hnnng, gonna put the rest under a cut aaaah

I hadn’t noticed or thought about it until you’ve mentioned it, Wombat friend, but I think that, yes, Cor had a pretty development. 

At Caem and the story and such, Cor seems to blame himself too much, punish himself with guilt too much about this stuff. He does sort of look pained and in regret of sorts. And no wonder why; with the way he “abandoned” (or feels/thinks he did) Regis and Clarus, to have outlived two kings, one who was one of his most dearest friends in the entire world and life, of course he’s feeling terrible.

I haven’t seen Cor’s parting words to Noct, but I will assume it’s the “Perhaps we’ll meet again, at dawnbreak.”? 

That, and the way he smiles while saying it. And the conversations he has with Noct. It sort of talks about acceptance. I’m not sure if Cor knows Noct is to die, so his words may be a conflict for me; he’s either in denial, or he has accepted Regis’ death so well, he’s now positive about Noct’s life (oblivious of what’s to come… :( ).

Whatever it is, he seems to have accepted Regis’ death, and that’s quite some heavy concept.

And when he talks with Noct aout Regis, and they laugh together at the end? Absolute acceptance. He stopped not just being in denial, but also stopped blaming himself and being so harsh on himself about it, so much that he can laugh and remember Regis with delight and joy once more.

AND ABOUT MORS

YES

I don’t know exactly why, but I’ve always pictured Mors to be a rather…not so good king. I assumed long ago that it was just the name, because it sounds like a villain, hahahaha, not because it means “Death”, it’s just. Mors. Sounds sort of fitting for something like Darth Mors and such lmao

But yes, I don’t know why I’ve always thought about him as a rather cold or not-very-gentle king. Whenever I think about young Regis, I’ve always pictured Mors to be quite harsh with him, not physically, but about attitude and such. Not a warm, open dad like Regis was, or tried to be. 

And you know, that could explain a lot of why Noct’s and Regis’ relationship can turn to be rather awkward at times. Like, sometimes they don’t know what to talk about, even though Regis tries. And it would be VERY natural to think that maybe the reason Regis doesn’t really know very well how to be a dad is because he never had an example of one. A proper one, that is.

His dad didn’t play with him, so how is he supposed to know how to play with Noct? His dad rarely spoke with him about non royal matters, so that’s why he has troubles coming up with a subject. 

Maybe it’s not just Regis’ own thing, maybe he just didn’t have a fatherly figure that he can reflect his own actions on, hence his relationship with Noct.

And, you know, that only  makes him the SWEETEST dad of history, because he didn’t have a figure to imitate or to learn from, BUT HE TRIES, aposjdposdfjpojfdpgdf

Ohno, I’ll stop here I’m destroying my own heart with things I haven’t even written ahahahaha, this touches my heart too much, aaah, Regis’ subjects make me too sensitive :’D

You know, maybe it could also explain some of the Lucian hatred towards Regis and his decisions; because maybe Regis took the throne after Mors had already fucked up. So it’s not Regis making mistakes; it’s Regis trying to fix the mistakes Mors did, but there’s not very  nice or good answers, and sometimes no answers at all, so that’s why he may make harsh choices sometimes that the people don’t understand. And the people, of course, only see what Regis is doing; never thinking about why the problem existed in the first place, and who fucked up first.

Regis choosing to not be like his dad, that’s quite a heavy and hard concept. Both as a dad and a king, Regis wants to be better.

To share apersonal experience, for example, I learned what love is not because someone taught me what love is, but because they taught me what love is not. I share this because it’s the summary of how Regis may have thought at his time; he learned what a good dad and a good king is not because Mors taught him what a good dad and a good king is, but because he taught him what they’re not. 

Like de-buiding a clock to understand how it’s built; you didn’t build it, but now, after you unbuilt it, you do know how to build it.

It’s such a strange concept, and so heavy and huge when seen in this; a king that learned how to be king, from seeing the previous king not be a king. Not the kind that is needed or one that’s good. 

Geez. Indeed, a heavy concept.

And the best/worst part is that it could absolutely be canon, I see no reasons for it to not be. Mostly when the matter is so open and we have no info on Mors other than the year he died, and that we know just because it’s the year Regis took the throne, hahahaha.

Man. I’m left here thinking a lot about all this.

But basically, yes! Episode Cor pls, Cor has grown, wtf is up with Mors. 

UGH.

I LOVE THAT YOU DROP BY MY INBOX WOMBAT FRIEND, I LOVE IT SO MUCH EACH DARN TIME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Thank you. Seriously, thank you so, so much over and over for sharing your thoughts and doing so with me. I’m honored, and it’s always great to be put to think like this. I love it soooo much hnngnfgnfgh

So thanks!

Hope you’re having a fantastic day or night, buddy! Thanks again!  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

[floralharjuku]

Cadence: prologue *Contains Spoilers!* (POSTED ON AO3)

Tumblr formatting legend:

* = *italics* ~ = ~bold~

…

(And on the third day, Crystal Mum created spoiler warnings)

Prologue: “Emotions are prohibited.” …

Androids were never meant to be replacements for humans; the doppelgängers were never to evolve beyond shadows waging perpetual war for the glory of mankind, waging war in the forever hope, chasing the forever goal of one day returning their humans to the surface they had wiped clean.

*What a farce. *

That was their goal. That was their dream. That was their only aspiration.

It was the only thing they could want.

So many years, eyes covered in symbolic darkness, minds linked to the server, man and machine made one, purging the planet of the rusted metal heaps that made life unsustainable. Centuries, without fail, standing constant vigil from above, the last line of defense.

*And for what? A server with the last remains of the human genome. *

The Bunkers. *Blown to bits. *

The androids. *Slowly going mad. *

The lie so deeply hardwired into their code, into their being that the very idea that it wasn’t true sent shockwaves of madness throughout the system. Waves that needed to be cut off before it all fell to pieces.

YoRHa. *A shell. *

The Council of Humanity. *Lies. *

Useless bits of code floating through the server, all of it. Once, these streams had been of pristine quality, now they were cluttered with bits of data that didn’t fit anywhere in the server. But their owners simply couldn’t part with the data. And so it clustered in the veins of their shared knowledge. Rumors, idle gossip, emotions began to spread through them.

It wasn’t long before they all could feel. Out of sheer necessity, those were ordered to a minimum by a commander who looked all too sick when she came from inside the server.

“Pod. Seal these records and issue a server wide announcement that emotions are prohibited.”

How many years ago was that…time passed so slowly and yet so fast here in the land of forever dark, counting the same stars for the same rotations until one day she realized that the star was gone.

*She had outlived the stars. * Such a thing was too blasphemous to articulate.

Emotions were prohibited under her watch, the only one that mattered anymore. She was all that was left, the only structure, the only leader, the only one with enough strength to see them through until the ultimate conclusion of project YoRHa.

Already, the other four Bunkers had gone *dark*. And their goal? A lie. A lie she continued to feed them even as so many saw past it by simply *feeling. *

The end was nearing.

She stopped enforcing her prohibition. More and more and more and more and more and more rebelled. It was so easy…to cut them off from the system, from YoRHa, from the perpetual end they were trapped in. It liberated her.

*It was so much better than hearing them die, screaming in pain, screaming because they knew that they had no bodies to return to, that they would face death, an endless void of horror and…*

Her Bunker only housed models B to H; O and S. The rest were stragglers, survivors, from the devastation backdoor events in Bunkers 1, 3, 4 and 5. Memories wiped clean, they became her soldiers.

*But she couldn’t bear to hear them loyally die, believing in nothing, knowing nothing, feeling nothing. *

Keep them fighting. You are their commander. Fight until it all *ends. *

She cut so many free. Aided in their desertion.

Was this pity? Was this fear? Was this *emotion? *

She was terrified.

But…

“You have your orders. Glory to humanity!”

Glory indeed.

…

A Scanner type, she knew from the start that he would be her downfall, her own personal harbinger of doom. He was a high-end model, made exclusively for the purpose of discovering what should never be found.

“YoRHa unit No. 9, type S, reporting, Commander.”

“Everything is in working order?” He nodded, left arm crossed over his chest in salute. “Good. Your first assignment is to survey the surface for any potential Goliath class machine tech.”

*Get as far away from here as you can. Stay away from these servers. Stay away from the corrosion inside. Maybe…maybe…*

“Yes, Commander!” He sounded so enthusiastic, almost childlike. Which wouldn’t be strange if she didn’t know that all YoRHa units were built in a state the humans once called “late adolescence” or “early adulthood”.

Her downfall was in him and his kind. And as such, his own downfall was in himself.

…

His operator, 21O, always seemed annoyed with him. He functioned with the attitude of a teenager, constantly questioning her, taking this bored tone with her, exhaling heavily whenever tasked with something that interrupted his own personal scans. She had *told the brat* time and time again that he was wasting resources with his curiosity, but she kept finding data on insects and flowers in his reports, as if he had taken a break during his task to watch a worm inch its way across the dirt.

Which was exactly what he had done. It was a solid forty minutes long and each second made her want to claw his eyes out.

He wasted time, energy, fuel for himself and not to mention he had a flight unit with him which tripled the potential loss should he and it be destroyed during these scans.

“As long as he completes his task in a timely manner,” the Commander had said, “then I see no reason why these extracurricular activities should be stopped.”

“But, Commander…It’s a waste of resources…”

“All the Scanners have this same flaw: an insatiable thirst to *know*. He isn’t the first and won’t be the last.”

“Do they all have the same flaw to talk back?” His operator muttered as she went back to sorting through the rest of his files.

The next video was genuinely enlightening. *Three hours of waves. * Where did he even find the time…?

…

It was strangely fascinating, this abandoned human facility was a relic of a time gone past and possibly never to be again, a memento of the past world he was fighting for, of the war he was created to fight for. Rusted and overtaken with greenery, this place was hollow, whistling as the wind passed through this living and yet dead museum to the intelligence of his human creators.

From above, he could trace the paths that they would have taken in the progress of working. Rusted and dangerously corroded bridges leaned and creaked in the slight breeze as he did a quick pass over them, barely suspended from wires that had cracked and snapped years ago. One bridge was in such terrible shape that one side had fallen into the water, the other leaning on a right diagonal into the sky.

What would this place look like, in the past? When people, not plants, populated these areas for work purposes?

Huh…what did humans look like when they worked? He supposed like androids but…uh, there were supposedly differences between android and humans, but no one had ever said *what* that was. Speaking of work, would the humans ever need to work again with the androids in existence?

Such questions were for the future, he supposed. A future after the war. But such questions were always in the back of his mind during ops like this.

What were the humans like? When he looked into the mirror and saw himself, was he really seeing the image of a human? Was there a human that he was modeled after? A person with the face he so believed to be his and his alone? How would this human react to one day coming face to face with an android who looked just like him?

Why was he so absorbed with these existential questions? All they did was make his logic processor momentarily freeze. Once, after debating the concept of “God” with himself, he had awoken in his room and learned that his OS had crashed from the undue strain. He had been reprimanded for it and warned that another crash of that magnitude could result in a full scale memory wipe in a desperate attempt to salvage his core processing elements. To think, a mere question had the potential to kill him.

Maybe he was morbidly curious. That would explain a lot about himself.

One eye scrolled through his personal research of this place while another watched a small machine pour a bucket of oil onto a deactivated machine. The deactivated one had been offline for some time, its arms torn off by whatever had destroyed it. Probably two machines getting into some sort of mindless conflict.

“Brother…brother…brother…” It repeated mindlessly, clinging to a concept it couldn’t understand.

“It doesn’t matter how much oil you give him, little guy. It won’t make him your brother.” He sighed, fascinated nonetheless. To think that such a machine could even begin to comprehend the *idea* that was family, not to speak of practicing it.

Maybe, if he still had time he could take it apart and research it…

The booming approach of the attack squadron quickly killed his hopes of actually having any fun during this mission, but he noted that it would be over soon and he could come back. There was a strong possibility that this strange machine would still be there, calling out for a brother that didn’t exist while it waded in spilled oil.

(Cadence) A Nier: Automata study.

Author’s notes: Formatting is so much fun to do when I know it won’t transfer to anything and I have to use marks instead. Hello! I’m not sure if I’m the first, but if I am…First chaptered Nier: Automata story! Victory to me for having absolutely no life and finding the full game on YouTube. That was my whole week right there. The story captivated me in a way that I really was not expecting. I watched the first Nier in preparation of the second, and I fell in love with the themes and huge story. I like that a game could go so deep and dark and make me question everything, even down to the base components of myself. Seeing androids and robots that acted so human…it’s fascinating stuff!

Anyways, I decided to explore the psyche of my personal favorite in the game, 9S. I have to say that his character really surprised me. I had expected a drag-on experience with him, but…well, if you’ve seen it, you know.

*Motions hastily to ending C while crying*

His character goes through such a drastic change and his character arc goes up like “okay, well that just happened, but like what what what what what.”

Again, you know what I’m talking about if you’ve seen ending C.

So, this contains massive spoilers for the whole game. If you want to go in clean, please put this down and run from me because this was done in February on the 25th and I’ve been waiting to write this for…er three days. I am about to explode at this point.

Each main ending, A-E, will be covered and as such, I’ll be labeling the story as it follows each ending. Mostly, since this follows 9S, this will be told from his campaign.

This story has been crossposted as well onto Ao3 and when Fanfiction stops being dumb, I’ll post it there as well. Wanna see this in fully formatted glory? Well, so do I ;;

And as always, thank you to those who support me, those who inspire me and those who give me feedback.

For the glory of mankind.

[fineillsignup]

I'm one of those readers that aren't mad about the ships,honestly they're a low standard.What I am fucking mad about is that kishi inserted the concept of peace into the story.How would the story work if that happened?What conflict would there be for a story?Making an effort for peace, but are the shinobi really suited for such a task?Doesn't their economy thrive on conflict?Missions focus on assassinations,information retrieval,politicians one upping each other? That sort of thing?

I’m really glad you asked that anon because that’s become one of the driving forces behind my story Your Most Important Person.

I don’t know why I can’t write simple id-scratching trope fiction, but for some reason I seem to be incapable of it. So much like Heart Under a Blade quickly became “can an ABO fic treat female characters better than canon?”, YMIP has somehow become “can a soulmates AU have more coherent and satisfying worldbuilding and societal development than canon?”

And the big question is, suppose Kishimoto didn’t rely on aliens to supply external conflict in a supposedly peaceful society? What would be a logical next big obstacle for Naruto & friends? Suppose Kishimoto didn’t ignore that the Konoha shinobi forces have been cut by at least 75% in five years and that hardly any shinobi have kids? How would they handle that challenge? Suppose Kishimoto didn’t only remember that the shinobi economy is based on war and unrest when he can use it to mock a female character (Tenten’s failing shop and Sakura’s mortgage)? How would the shinobi world adjust? Suppose Kishimoto didn’t sacrifice the other characters’ principles, hopes, dreams, and motivations in order to let Orochimaru continue to experiment on children? What would that open up?

These questions all have more than one possible answer of course. Some possible answers (spoilers for YMIP) under the “read more”.

1. Just because there isn’t war, doesn’t mean that petty conflict goes away. By petty I mean gangs, illicit trade, murders, kidnappings, etc. Even in canon, we see plenty of missions that aren’t war-derived. So I think that the downturn in business is exaggerated, especially when we get to point two.

2. Kishimoto loves to tell the reader that lots of ninja die in this or that conflict, but it never makes any impact because the dead ninja don’t have any connection to any named character and very little impact on the story outside of it being the supplied reason why Shikamaru has to scramble together genin to get back Sasuke. If the drop in personnel were realistic, the problem wouldn’t be that there wasn’t enough business, the problem would be that there weren’t enough shinobi to complete business.

3. Orochimaru being allowed to basically do what he wants post-699 is some bullshit let me tell you. Not only isn’t he remorseful for anything he’s done, he doesn’t show any sign of having decided to amend his behaviour in the future, other than a vague statement that he wants to observe. Surprise! As of Boruto, he’s still performing involuntary medical experiments on human beings! Team Taka and Yamato also have to atrophy and languish for this. 

Giving second chances and redeeming villains is a noble idea, but redeeming has to involve actual redemption. A supposed redemption where an abuser is happy and his former victims are all not only extremely unhappy but also watching him abuse new victims is not a redemption. I can’t believe I have to point that out, but there it is.

But given that canon says that Orochimaru is basically contained within every curse seal, and given the number of curse seal victims we saw spilling out of Orochimaru’s prisons, eliminating Orochimaru from the world would be a big challenge... gosh, you might say that it’s the kind of long-term, potentially episodic monster-of-the-week challenge that suits a series like Naruto down to the ground.

Some other plotlines this opens up:1. Suigetsu’s quest for the swords2. Actual control of Juugo’s curse, which is a plot hole in Boruto. If only Sasuke can control him and Sasuke buggers off to “atone”, what the hell kind of agony has Juugo been going through?! Because you know Orochimaru doesn’t give a fuck about Juugo or anyone Juugo might kill in his rages.3. KARIN DESERVES TO LIVE HER OWN LIFE DAMMIT and I want to see Naruto and Karin connect too4. Yamato just wants to belong and be acknowledged and included oh my goodness protect this precious wooden baby

4. Ninja world demographic collapse. Yes hello this is my pet peeve but really. REALLY. You cannot just apply a birth rate less than that of modern Singapore to a high death rate society like Naruto’s and expect everything to be hunky dory. I feel like a lot of people choose to willfully suspend disbelief on this one because they also aren’t interested in large families but it really bothers me let me tell you. Especially because can you get a more pro-natalist philosophy than everyone chattering about unborn children as the “kings” of Konoha?! It’s just so contradictory that it drives me absolutely bazonkers.

A lot of anti-ending people repeat the line that “everyone gets hetero paired off” in Naruto 700 but this just doesn’t match the facts. Kishimoto doesn’t pair off anyone he can get away with not pairing off in order to produce a kid for the Boruto cast, with the one exception of Kiba, whom he pairs with the cat girl for the laughs. Everyone has one kid, at the exact same time. Naruto, as the old main character, gets rewarded with a bonus younger sibling for the new main character. The teacher generation? No new couples. No new kids. Not to mention that in Naruto’s generation, everyone is either an only child or has one sibling max.

In a world where people genetically inherit superpowers and clan identity is strong, this kind of reproductive pattern just makes no sense.

A more coherent Naruto ending would have to deal with this issue, especially coupled with the 75%+ reduction in shinobi in five years.

5. It’s not like shinobi powers only have deadly applications!!!! Medical ninjutsu is obvious, but almost all the powers have peaceful applications if you think about it. Aburame could use insects to pollinate plants effectively. Inuzuka animals are the best search and rescue. Yamanaka as psychologists, healing minds. Genjutsu entered into consensually for entertainment. Yamato’s Wood Release’s practical applications we all know already; presumably Lava Release and similar could do similar things in stone and other mediums. There’s nothing stopping people from developing more and more peaceful jutsu.

6. The daimyo power structure has outlived its agency. In a more logical post-699, I would foresee the Hidden Villages taking over their nations outright.

I’ll leave it there, but there is soooooo much potential for new plot, exciting plot, in a war-free Naruto. Not to mention stuff like tournaments. I’ve barely scratched the surface here.