#the company is fairly new as far as I'm aware

[gender-critical-analytical]

started using this stupid and expensive flavored toothpaste and it actually has made brushing my teeth a much better experience. I don't gag, it doesn't burn my mouth at all, and I've kinda found myself excited, or at the very least much more eager, when it's time to go brush my teeth

[nebmia]

Reviewing every rpg book on my shelf: 5, Flying Circus

Flying Circus is a a game by Erika Chappell where you fly planes, have messy dramatic relationships, and find out who you are. Sometimes all at the same time. More specifically you fly *rickety planes from the dawn of aviation* and have messy, dramatic relationships, and find out who you are *in an essentially queer way*.

The first thing I love about Flying Circus is it's sheer audacity in taking pbta (usually deployed for low crunch storygame-y titles) and twisting it into a highly detailed and technical system for running dogfights. I think its really clever how Erika has taken the idea of a detailed combat system are re-appraised it from the ground up in the context of dogfighting.

There is no grid based movement here, it simply is not useful in the three dimensional world that planes inhabit. Instead your positioning is modelled through altitude and air speed, with each being tradeable for the other and spend able to perform maneuvers.

Honestly the whole system is rather intimidating (a fact the book freely admits). Each plane requires a little personal instrument panel sheet (and a few extra side sheets) that resemble somthing you would expect in a euro-game boardgame more than an rpg. The system goes as far as modelling how your plane performs as you use up your modelling fuel and with varying altitude. There are also a lot of fairly involved moves that it feels would be a little tricky to keep aware of while running a dogfight. However, from what I hear, the system works well and, once you understand it, isn't /that/ tricky to run. I think this isn't actually that crunchy when compared to your standard tactical battlers, it's just completely new (and working in a zone most people have less of an intuitive understanding of [although its worth noting that most peoples intuitive understanding of medieval style combat is dead wrong]) so we are unably to draw upon our preexisting assumptions.

You will notice I have to fall back on reports and intiitions here because I am yet to be able to play the game, which is honestly my biggest problem with it: it carves such a specific niche that I think I will really struggle to ever bring it to the table. Anyone I have talked to about the game has always responded to the effect of 'I don't think I'm into planes enough for this'.

I am also not half as into planes specifically as Erika Chappell is. But what I am into is getting deep into things in general, and this whole system excels at letting you get incredibly technical and nerdy about your plane (as far as things like exactly what radiator fluid it has, if you use the advanced rules) and making those choices actually matter in play.

ok, that's probably enough about planes (a phrase I anticipate has never once been uttered by the author of this book), what are you doing when you get out of the planes?

The game follows a cycle of mission and downtime, which you spend relieving stress (in healthy or unhealthy ways) and running upkeep on your company. This is where you do a lot of the character work and bring into focus the 'coming of age' narrative that the game intends.

Which seems a good lead in to talking about the playbooks. Each playbook is focused around a particular thematic idea or experience, which is helpfully spelled out directly in a 'themes' section for each one. This isn't a game where you play as a fighter because you want to solve problems by hitting them but rather one where you play as a Fisher because you want to engage with "a queer reclamation of the monstous", or a scion because you want to engage with "privilege and power, and what obligations come with it", or a believer because you want to engage with "a mindset that thrives on radicalism", or a survivor because you want to engage with "a metaphor for what it feels like to be a transgender person escaping an unwelcome or abusive situation".

Obviously, alongside themes you do also get a load of cool abilities to use.

Of the many games that claim to be ghibli-esque but I think Flying Circus hews closest on account of two things: understanding miyazaki's perspective on war and also due to being absolutely unhinged about planes.

[yamayuandadu]

Hello! I saw your discussion about Inanna on Twitter and got a bit confused. You said that the tutelary goddesses of Uruk, Zanbalam, and Akkad were all "Ishtar" and "Inanna," with the only difference being on a cultic level. But then you proceed to say, "never such a situation as 'there's one goddess named Inanna and one named Ishtar.'" Did you mean that Ishtar and Inanna are practically the same? As a bonus question, who is the deity in the image you posted on Twitter?

I’ll start with the bonus question, since it’s something new, while the rest will pretty constitute reiterating what I already said many times.

Admittedly, I was a bit confused at first, because the last image I remembered posting on twitter was this:

That’s not a deity, it’s a plushie (officially "Ouioui series Y Pathetic Suctipoda") made by the company Itemlabel; they come in blindboxes with between 5 and 12 designs in a series. This specific one is sold out already, though.

Then I remembered I used a crop of the quite unique plaque from the temple of Sin in Tutub as a reaction image at some point:

I’m going to assume that’s what was meant. 

In the 1970s it was in vogue to try to link this remarkable work of art with the usual repertoire of entry level monster combat myths, without any real regard for spatial and temporal distribution of these motifs, but that never really caught on and it’s thankfully no longer a thing. As far as I am aware, today there are two proposals regarding this scene which are worth considering. The first is that it shows the defeat of Enmesharra (Wilfred G. Lambert, Babylonian Creation Myths, p. 288). The logic is fairly straightforward: the one-eyed entity has an eerie sun-like head, which according to Lambert offers an interesting parallel to Enmesharra’s epithet zimu, “splendour”, and the fact in a late account of his defeat it is reassigned to Shamash. He speculated scenes where gods with rays coming out of their body are defeated might be related, and offers an interesting insight that perhaps Enmesharra came to be regarded as luminous in some way due to accidental similarity between his name and Inanna’s arguably most famous epithet, Ninmesharra (which is basically the feminine version of the same name; note that there’s also an unrelated god list exclusive Ninmesharra who is an artificial exercise in inventing a wife for Enmesharra to match Enlil’s en-nin pair ancestors). I think Lambert’s arguments are quite compelling and they basically formed the core premise of the non-gay parts of my Inanna story. However, the one-eyed entity has yet another proposed identity which might fit even better. Andrew R. George in Nergal and the Babylonian cyclops points out that textual sources might indicate that a cyclops might really just be a cyclops. While infrequent, references to a mythical creature named igidalu (probably a loanword from Summerian igi dili - in other words, “one eye”, “monoculus”) are known from various sites, including an omen indicating Nergal was known as a vanquisher of such a specimen. It’s worth noting the birth of one-eyed animals was associated with Nergal too, which strengthens the possibility that we’re dealing with a well known myth which simply didn’t survive in written form. The only thing George doesn’t address are the rays, but it’s not like the “monoculus” necessarily had to look fully human-like.  With the interesting stuff out of the way, let’s go back to your initial question. A solid chunk of it is already covered by the previous ask response, so I will only cover some misunderstandings you seem to have under the cut. Plase read previous ask responses and check the recommended reading doc in the future though because I'm kind of tired of repeating the same basic points every few weeks.

To begin with, cultic information is the most significant and should not be dismissed the way you seem to do. Most myths were just scribal exercises, offering lists and various displays of personal devotion are what reflects actual religious activity.

Inanna and Ishtar are names. “Umbrella terms” as Tonia Sharlach put it (and that’s without going into the existence of ordinary nouns ištar and ištartu). There was no singular Ishtar and no singular Inanna, there were numerous deities who could be referred to with both of these names. There is basically no sound way to have one “character” named Inanna and one named Ishtar; either stick to having just one - a type specimen of sorts representing a whole category - or go into more detail and include like 5-6. Megaten took the dumbest route and I’m frankly not interested in talking about it anymore. An early example, what I brought up on twitter, is that the tutelary goddesses of Uruk, Zabalam and Akkad (the city) were pretty clearly separate from each other. Separate hymns are dedicated to each of the three in the Temple Hymn collection, for instance. Each of the three had a separate repertoire of names. These repertoires partially overlap, most notably the names Inanna and Ishtar were applied to all three of them (and to a plethora of other deities) but we’re fundamentally dealing with related, but still separate, deities.

It is safe to say I. of Akkad was an Ishtar before I. of Uruk and I. of Zabalam were, but she was hardly the only goddess named Ishtar (indeed, you’ll find specimens as far west as Ebla). There’s a recurring argument that she was, for political reasons, conflated with Inanna of Uruk during the Sargonic period and this lead to the interchangeable use of the names Inanna and Ishtar later to refer to various deities; this is not impossible though it’s worth noting that a lexical list from Ebla, which is pre-Sargonic, already recognizes the equivalence between the names Ishtar (“Ašdar” if you want to go by Eblaite orthography) and Inanna. Also, it’s worth noting that it’s sort of questionable to speak of fully separate “Sumerian” and “Akkadian” pantheons - putting aside the fact each city-state would have its own pantheon, the lines don’t neatly correspond to languages, ex. the names Sin and Nanna probably started to be used interchangeably before writing was even invented - and despite being nominally Akkadian, the former was the one preferred in Lagash, arguably one of the parts of Mesopotamia with the highest % of Sumerian speakers.

Regardless of how the names came to be interchangeable, there’s no clear evidence for the goddess of Akkad NOT being considered separate despite sharing some of her names wirh others. If anything, with time she only became more distinct, with the epithet Annunitum becoming her primary name (and she also got a “twin” who splintered off from her, Ulmashitum, named after her temple). The case of Zabalam is even more complicated. Technically, it is possible the tutelary goddess of Zabalam was not originally named Inanna, but rather Nin-UM (reading of the second sign is uncertain). That’s how she is referred to in the Zame Hymns from the Early Dynastic period; there’s some disagreement whether we’re dealing with a case of an attempt to “Inannize” an originally completely unrelated goddess or if some sort of splintering happened (in which case the name Nin-UM would be secondary). In any case, she is also pretty clearly a distinct deity. The Weidner god list keeps her apart from the “regular” Inanna. Furthermore, while the circles of deities associated with both overlap (ex. Ninshubur and Nanaya occur in sources from both Uruk and Zabalam), the connection with Shara is effectively exclusive to Inanna of Zabalam (save for the awkward inclusion in Inanna’s Descent)

While myths might skip this sort of distinction, it’s worth noting that’s not 100% guaranteed. For example, there’s a proposal that the hostility between Inanna and Gilgamesh, which is a motif originating in Gilgamesh and the Bull of Heaven (which predates the singular epic by a couple of centuries), might indicate that implicitly Inanna of Akkad or Zabalam was meant instead of Inanna of Uruk (Douglas Frayne, The Struggle for Hegemony in “Early Dynastic II” Sumer, pages 63-64).

[your-queer-dad]

Hey Queer dad, I only just found this blog, but I'm writing you anyway, I Don't want to be anonymous, I want my name attached to my story I fear that I'm probably going to explain myself poorly but here goes anyway I am going to be 24 years old this May, I've been on E since 10 - 2020 Ive had to move out to live with my boyfriend of 3 years and it feels like I've all but abandoned my dreams of going through college as an engineer, things were hard to keep up with when covid struck and now I'm a trans-woman living in Georgia USA, I understand that its not as good as my home-state of New York on trans issues, but I have my BF and his Family who are supportive... I'm SCARED as of late sure I live in a fairly chill part of the state, but i'm SCARED like big time, its making my mental health journey harder, and I'm finding a lot of VERY bad thoughts creeping in, mostly about my appearance and all that, I don't look all that fem when i have trouble taking care of my day-to-day hygiene,

My dad is ""Supportive"" as far as accepting the fact that I'm his daughter now, but he and most of my extended family still doesn't use my pronouns or chosen name. My mom, well she left this world, and me alone in it, sure she was never the best to me, but she would have been the one person to support me. When she left I promised myself and her that I would take the little support I spit on and ground into the dirt as a teenager and actually be true to myself.

I know that at this point I am rambling, but I want to put meaning and journey behind my words THANK YOU, for being here for us. THANK YOU for providing a space for us to ask questions, and get parental style advice when we have no-one else and I ask of you this, how does one find community in this world when one struggles to navigate the fear she feels from the world around her?

Hi!! Thank you so much for reaching out. Honestly, it sounds like you've had such a rough time and I am really proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story, I appreciate it, and I'll do my best to help out.

Personal story time: I myself was (and still am sometimes) in a very similar situation myself. And it is scary, it's really isolating to see so much hate from others just for being yourself, and it makes you want to withdraw and hide. And I hid, for so long- it's really hard to show your true self in a world so full of hate and fear.

But I did, slowly, step by step. A little bit every day. Us humans, we're not supposed to be on our own. We're pack animals, like wolves or lions, we thrive off other people's company (some more than others). With mental health, when all you want to do is hide and let the world forget that you exist, what helps you the most is finding others who feel like it and can help.

Easier said than done right?

I'm still working on it, and there's never going to be a stage where you're perfect at it- but every day, just actively trying to engage with others around you, I found helped me. Not running away when people offer help, speaking to new people, finding my local queer community- just actively being aware of my surroundings and gently pushing myself to talk to new people.

The worlds a lot less scary when you have an army of support behind you.

It takes time, and energy. It's hard. And definitely baby steps, small steps. But there are so many good people out there, who will love you and accept you and value you, you just have to find them.

I'm really proud of you, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to and feel free to reach out anytime. Everything will be okay.

- dad x

[naryrising]

Hi Nary! First off, thank you for your positive and impactful presence in fandom and on AO3. Both are better because you’re here with us.

Quick question: I’ve seen a lot of posts urging AO3 authors to lock their accounts for members-only to prevent AI scraping for things like sudowrite. But isn’t that like closing the barn door after the horse is already out? From your knowledge, does locking down an account starting today provide any benefit from AI issues?

Thank you for everything you do!

Ok, well, I wrote the AO3 news post that went out about that topic, and in it I did suggest that locking works is a way to potentially help avoid scraping. But I can expand on that somewhat, because it's really quite a bit more complicated. (And as always, I'm not speaking in an official capacity here, just my own personal outlook).

Will locking your work stop AO3's data from being used in things like ChatGPT, Sudowrite, etc? No. Those tools are all based on the CommonCrawl dataset, which was collected years ago - it began collecting in 2011 and continues to this day. Specifically, as far as I understand, Sudowrite and ChatGPT and others were trained on a version of the dataset, GPT-3, which was released in 2020 (and therefore, based on data collected earlier than 2020). Therefore, if that is your primary concern, yes, the horse is very much out of the barn - this data was collected many years ago at this point, and any prospect of removing it is going to probably involve legal challenges about how such data can be used. This is very much uncharted territory as far as the law is concerned, so it may take years for courts to sort out what rights authors have in this situation. (For instance, can you request the removal of your copyrighted texts? Who knows!)

What about scraping in the future, though? When AO3 became aware that this data was being used to train AI text generators, it blocked the CommonCrawl bot. Therefore, assuming CommonCrawl behaves ethically, it will respect that block and not scrape further data from the site. Therefore, locking your works today will makes no difference if what you're trying to avoid is being scraped by CommonCrawl, as AO3 already took measures to prevent that going forward.

What about other types of data scraping? Great question, and that is the murky area. There are many other people and companies out there who are not CommonCrawl and may have other goals and motives. Some of that could range from a dedicated fan wanting to scrape a copy of their entire fandom's contents on a certain date to keep as a private backup, to academic researchers working on entirely above-board projects in linguistics or literature or media studies, to companies wanting to build their own dataset for training some other future kind of AI, or something none of us are currently able to guess. If that's your concern, then locking your work might provide some degree of protection. It will, for instance, probably protect against fairly crude large-scale mass scraping. (AO3's coding team has also stated that it will block these type of mass scrapers if and when they become aware of them, and has already for some time taken measures such as rate limiting to make the scraping process harder.) But - people, including people who want to scrape data, can make accounts on AO3. It's free, anyone can join, it typically takes about a week to get an invite. They can log in, see the works that are only visible to logged-in users, and scrape them, just with a bit more effort. Now, these are currently, I suspect, more likely to be the kind of scraping projects like "I just want a personal copy of every work in my fandom" or "I'm an academic doing research on fanfiction and I'm collecting data about how fic writers use tags", which some people might be okay with. But it could also be someone with less ethical motives. It's hard to stop one without also stopping the other, from AO3's side. From users' side, locking your works is probably protective against large-scale data scraping, but less so against this type of smaller scale data scraping. But also, I can't predict the future, and maybe there's some project happening right now to figure out a way around this! I don't know!

In short, if you don't want your data scraped, never put anything online anywhere ever, or support legal changes that will allow for stronger data protection. Right now, nothing is completely safe. Locking your works might make them slightly safer, but is not a total guarantee of protection.

[jamie101]

My Favourite Single Player Video Games I Played in 2023

(Inspired by @a-shrieking-cloud-of-bats' post)

Disclaimer: most of these games are relatively well-known/popular, and at least a few didn't come out this year, but these are all games I played this year that had a lasting impact on me.

In no particular order:

Dredge

I was interested in this from the initial trailer, and the final game definitely delivered. You play as the new fisherman of a tiny island town, making ends meet while uncovering uncanny secrets beneath the waves. The gameplay is fun and involved (a mixture of time and inventory management) but easy enough to master. The main elements that have stayed with me are the visual style and score/sound design, both of which really lift the game's atmosphere - it's almost relaxing at times, but never quiiiiite loses that edge of unease.

Book of Hours

I was (am) a big fan of Cultist Simulator, so Book of Hours was one of my most anticipated titles this year. The fantastic tone and writing of CS is still present, really putting these games in a league of their own. The gameplay is still faithful to the first game's style and mechanics, but also branches out in a lot of fun ways - the far more detailed and lively board of Hush House and the nearby village add a much more solid setting. One small issue I take is that the systems and learning curve for BoH are just as complex and involved as CS, but without as much ability to start over and apply new knowledge - BoH is designed to be a single longer playthrough rather than multiple "runs", which might mean you find yourself a good number of hours deep before realising you've been engaging with the mechanics wrong the entire time. This is partly why I'm still to complete the game; I do still look forward to doing so eventually, though.

Darkest Dungeon II

Darkest Dungeon is one of my favourite games of all time. I've played the sequel ever since it first entered early access in 2022, and while I understand why a significant number of DD1 fans seemingly weren't too fond of it (the overarching gameplay is fairly different from the first game, taking a much more roguelite form reminiscent of Slay the Spire) I got on with it well, even moreso since the game's full v1.0 release this year - the progress and updates made throughout early access were really encouraging to see, and the finished game is a very worthy sequel that also works as a standalone title. The transition from static 2D sprites to fully animated 3D models, while maintaining the iconic and unique artstyle of Darkest Dungeon, is also really impressive.

The Case of the Golden Idol

I've been aware of this game ever since watching a stream of the first couple chapters a year or so ago, but was inspired to pick it up myself after the announcement of a sequel at this year's Game Awards (maybe one of the few games announced there I'm genuinely excited for). I don't scratch my puzzle game itch enough, and Golden Idol has made me keen to seek out more - solving a series of interlinked "mysteries" via observation of the environment and participants to obtain words and clues which you then piece together on a separate screen. I got through the game and both DLCs in around 3-4 days, but consider that time very well spent based on the number of genuine "eureka" moments I experienced alone.

Other Games I Played and Enjoyed: Return of the Obra Dinn, Receiver, The Binding of Isaac (Rebirth/Afterbirth/Repentance)

Multiplayer Games I Enjoyed/Am Currently Enjoying: Lethal Company, Party Animals

If you've read this far, thanks very much! This is mostly a personal record to look back on, but please feel free to pass on any recommendations or let me know what your top games were this year.

And With That, the Game of the Year 2023 (and Every Year Hereafter) is: OUTER WILDS

[silverstonesainz-archive]

I love the firsts collection!!! I’d you’re still taking requests could you do all of the firsts with nyck?

the first collection is my new fave thing. first _____ with nyck:

date: the first date was an accident. your friend was setting you up with some guy she works with and you walked right up to nyck asking if he was mark. nyck lied before his brain could process what he had done. you spent about an hour of your date, fully believing the man in front of you was mark. it wasn't until mark himself had come up, tapping on your shoulder apologizing profusely over how late he was. you forgave him, but let him know you found better company anyways. and of course once mark walked away, nyck confessed his real name.

kiss: you didn't kiss nyck until a couple of weeks later, seeing as though you had met him right before back to back races. he was leaned up against his car, laughing along with you over something you had both seen in the movie. he made a joke and you playfully shoved his shoulder. it was instinct, didn't take much thought as he held you by your wrist and pulled your against him, hands immediately going to your waist as he kisses you softly. you were shocked, but melted into him instantly.

time ;): the first time he spent the night, with you cuddled into his side. it started out as an innocent makeout and then suddenly his hand was under your shirt. and then you were pulling off his shirt. and then he pulled down your underwear. and well, you know the rest.

fight: nyck is a fairly patient man, but he also had quite the temper. he was being snippy with you, even going as far to say 'if youre gonna act that way, then maybe you should leave.' you took his advice, leaving for your apartment. you were stubborn by nature, not giving into him easily. but then suddenly he was at your front door with a new teddy bear, your favorite chocolates, and a multitude of sorries. how could you not forgive him?

saying 'i love you': you said it first. he had a great race result, running into the garage to greet you with a very sweaty kiss. the toothy grin, the post race jitters, the moment was perfect. you knew you were in so deep, your heart blooming at the sight of him. "i'm so proud of you nyck i... i love you." his grin grew wider, you didnt know that it could. "i love you too bug."

meeting his family: you were so nervous to meet his family. it was at nyck's birthday dinner when you first encounter them. they were so ecstatic to meet you, asking you so many questions about you and your life, almost forgetting that the dinner was for nyck.

meeting your family: nyck changed his outfit three times. he actually could not physically keep still with nerves he was feeling. you would think he would've gotten ahold of his emotions since he knew about the meeting for two weeks now, but go he was so nervous he could throw up. but he had nothing to worry about, your parents already well aware of who had stolen their child's heart. they greeted him with open arms (literally), and now even text him regularly about when he'll be visiting next!

[absolutebl]

Hi!

"2 Moons The Ambassador" is airing currently, and there are very few takers of the show. Also, it isn't available outside of Thailand, because it seems like "Motive Village" was scared of the backlash from the international audience, so went ahead with the project anyways, but decided to release it only for domestic audience. It looks like since they have the rights for the franchise, they wanted to mint money out if it, as much as possible, and as long as they possible can, given that this one is the last instalment of the story. Screenplay, Casting, Acting, and Direction seems to taken a backseat completely. I have huge respect for the boys involved in the project, it's just that I'm intrigued with the level of competition in the BL business that's forcing young talents to work with unprofessional production companies.

When I asked about audiences opinion on Reddit, someone pointed out that there is a possibility that sometimes certain films/series are rolled out as it could be a case of money laundering. Not sure how to react to it, many just concurred with that thought especially when if the production company happens to be shady. And this is a case in point with any show business around the world, just that its often talked in hushed whispers, unless the paparazzi uncovers the truth on the tabloids.

In one of our previous discussions, you did mention not being a fan of "2 Moons" and not having any expectations from "2 Moons The Ambassador" either. But my question isn't about the "2 Moons" franchise per se, but more so about understanding the eco-system of BL business.

So,...my questions to you are:

How far are BL filmmakers wanting to go mainstream, aware of the fact that the they have an increasingly “Attention Deficit” audience watching their content? (Which means,…what worked earlier may not work today, and that the audience may either get bored, or rebel over a particular trope being repeated without logic.)

How far is the BL industry good at marketing their series, especially if it comes from a fairly new production company? Are the producers doing enough, or are they content with the domestic market, keeping the international audience as an option anyway? 

For a BL producer, which market is more important, the domestic market (like airing the series on a local channel), or the international market (like selling the rights to an OTT platform to be streamed), or BOTH?

Are there BL Filmmakers who don’t wish to grab the attention of the International audience, and are quite happy selling their content to be streamed only and only on domestic platforms? Is there a specific strategy to this to avoid any kind of criticism, given that global audience are known to be pretty opinionated and vocal?

Barring a few sensible BL dramas, has visuals and soft-core scenes become the primary motive to make a BL series, and that story and other technical aspects like screenplay, cinematography, dialogue, and direction completely lost its relevance in the BL industry in the mad race to claim the numero uno spot on social media?

xoxo

Arjuna

Again, sorry for taking so long to answer these. Crazy busy these days. This is gonna be one of those ones where I’m not sure I can answer your questions, since I've never actually worked in the film industry in Thailand at all. Or had anything to do with it quite frankly. It's certainly not an interest tree large enough to have hired anybody like me ever.

1. How far are BL filmmakers wanting to go mainstream, aware of the fact that the they have an increasingly “Attention Deficit” audience watching their content? (Which means,…what worked earlier may not work today, and that the audience may either get bored, or rebel over a particular trope being repeated without logic.)

I think this is more a history of market trends. We see this all the time with everything. It's not quite the same thing but take for example the Roomba. When a product like this first enters the market there's usually only one or two versions to choose from, they're usually very expensive, and difficult to get a hold of. Then as distribution gets better, the technology becomes less proprietary, and more people have access and interested in making/owning such things, more and more versions hit the market, the price gets driven down to as low as it can possibly go. And you end up with a lot of trashy products and poor imitations. Eventually, everybody who wants one, and can afford one will own one. The manufacturing (production) companies that can't become profitable will go bankrupt, or start making something else. 

The trend dies down in the market shrinks. 

Or, more commonly in the entertainment (and Fashion) industry a new fad will come along. 

2. How far is the BL industry good at marketing their series, especially if it comes from a fairly new production company? Are the producers doing enough, or are they content with the domestic market, keeping the international audience as an option anyway? 

I actually expect that the trend for BL will die back down before Thailand (in particular) actually gets good at marketing to an international audience. 

3. For a BL producer, which market is more important, the domestic market (like airing the series on a local channel), or the international market (like selling the rights to an OTT platform to be streamed), or BOTH?

From what I can tell, domestic seems to be the priority for most of the smaller pulp Thai production houses. Or lack of marketing entirely. (Let's be clear if the production house is on YouTube they're actually concerned with sales - sales and marketing are two different things.) I just don't think any of the houses even have advertising departments attached to them. 

It's pretty clear that whoever was behind KinnPorsche, and GMMTV, are pretty focused on the international market. Where as these days Wabi Sabi (in bed with iQIYI) and some of the middle range houses, are interested in targeting streaming services. Which means they're tailoring their contact to a very specific corner of the international market, which is based on the viewer numbers (& country of origin) for those services. 

I don't know how intentional they're being about this, but they have to have this end goal of distribution in mind. 

And I would bet my bottom dollar that Korean BL production houses have nothing but the international market and streaming platforms in mind. 

4. Are there BL Filmmakers who don’t wish to grab the attention of the International audience, and are quite happy selling their content to be streamed only and only on domestic platforms? Is there a specific strategy to this to avoid any kind of criticism, given that global audience are known to be pretty opinionated and vocal?

Maybe? Possibly some of the more Indy and now defunct houses like the one behind ITSAY? I don't think they particularly care what the audiences say or how those audiences behave online, so long as they are watching and talking about the show. Whether that's negative or positive. The numbers don't lie.

Let’s take LITA as a case in point. A highly derisive piece of BL cinema. But I would swear on whatever you want me to swear on that Mame is going to get the funding for another one. Because the point is: we talked about it, and blogged about it and shared gifs. Whether engagement is negative or positive is irrelevant to the fact that, from sheer numbers of eyeballs watching, the show can be considered successful by Thai BL standards.

It would be a pretty poor business plan from anybody in a film industry as small as Thailand’s not to take the international audience into consideration, or at least want to produce content that could be repackaged and exported. 

5.  Barring a few sensible BL dramas, has visuals and soft-core scenes become the primary motive to make a BL series, and that story and other technical aspects like screenplay, cinematography, dialogue, and direction completely lost its relevance in the BL industry in the mad race to claim the numero uno spot on social media?

I actually ran the stats on this. And percentage wise to the amount of BL that is currently being produced, we have the same amount of high heat (11%) as we did last year and that’s less than in previous years. 

In other words, we're seeing more round numbers of high heat content, because there is more BL being made in general. 

I would also argue that it's not necessarily talked about more than some of the other BL either. Remember the waves that Bad Buddy caused at the beginning of this year? Or The Eclipse? Those are very low heat BL. 

Given the way these things work: we are going to continue to see the same percentage of very high-quality content with good production values (which has been, and always will be, small - and I suspect will be mostly dominated by Korea & Japan), the same percentage of pulps, and the same percentage of low heat. 

We are just getting more of everything right now. We're at the top of the trend. I'm not sure if it has peaked, exponential growth is incredibly hard to predict (especially in the entertainment industry). We will know at the end of next year - if the numbers go back down. (I think they might, but I have been very wrong before.) 

[atinycupofpositivitea]

Journaling our 🍵 life tea 🍵

Today in a nutshell 🥜

End of January, yet we still evolve. Well well, I stuck to the skincare routine for the second day in a row, and I'm planning to buy a couple of essential products to ensure that I stay consistent. I really want to put some effort in it. Other than that, I had an alright day, work was chill and I could do some of my prep for the lessons, then I went home, was almost hit by a car, baked a cake and went to the dentist. Cake came out good! I'm proud of myself. My dad also gave me a hand. I already meal prepped tomorrow's lunch so that's sorted out too, and I'm very proud of myself for sticking to a fairly balanced eating. Later in the day I watched some more Queer Eye Brazil (I'm in love with it, it teaches me so much about self awareness and self-love, it's incredible), then I played more of The Longest Journey, and had a good dinner with my family. Scented candles kept me company and I ended the day with some good relaxation stretches and a hot shower. This January has been good to me so far.

Things we feel grateful for 🐦

I'm very grateful for my inner growth and I'm grateful for all those books, videogames and TV shows that teach me something every single day about myself and the world.

Positive affirmations and self-love 💖

I am wonderful. I don't need to stick to beauty standards. My body is healthy and I am worthy no matter how I'm shaped. Karma likes me because I try my best to be just with myself and others.

Things we hope and look forward to ☘️

I hope to keep listening to podcasts about skincare so I learn new things about it and I look forward to doing my hair as that always makes me happy.

Date: 31/01/2023

[contemporarybardess]

Severed || Elora Solo

Parties: @contemporarybardess

Timing: July 25th, 8pm

Location: A bus headed towards Wicked's Rest

Trigger Warnings: Unsanitary tw, medical blood tw

Summary: Elora boards a bus headed towards Wicked's Rest, but meets an unusual man along the way.

It had been raining the entire night and Elora had been soaked from the what little time she had already spent outside. She had hitchhiked for a few minutes before somebody pulled over. She had "persuaded" the man to drive her to her destination rather than killing her. She didn't think he had any intent to do her harm, but she wasn't one to take chances anymore. She finally had the man drop her off near the entrance of the bus station, and then finally, dropped the spell she had on the man, who was now very confused as to where he was and how he got there. 

She waved goodbye to him as she hurriedly made her way through the doors of the bus station. She wiped off her black army style boots on the mat before venturing further inside. It was fairly late, almost 8pm, and the depot itself was almost empty. She was hoping to catch the last bus out towards Wicked's Rest.

She had already had such a long journey getting from Charleston to Bangor, she really should have slept and taken an early bus the next morning. But Elora was the type to just finish what she started when she was so close to being done. Once she knew that her journey was at an end, she could rest at an inn as soon as she got to town. She purchased her ticket and took a seat. 

"Wicked's Rest, eh?" she heard a gruff male voice say across from her. Funny, she didn't remember somebody sitting there just a moment ago. "You know the rumors about that place, right?"

Elora, frankly, had no idea what to make of this stranger. His general demeanor was very off-putting, and he must have listened in on her conversation at the ticket office to know where she was going.

"I'm quite aware of the rumors, yes. Isn't that just how things are in New England? Every other town seems to be haunted or have some sort of devilish creature running around. That is, if you believe the stories." She gave the man a disapproving look, as if he were childish for taking rumors of the supernatural seriously. "I think it's a nice, cozy, seaside town. And if any vampires come out and get me, well, I guess that's just the risk people up here have to take to enjoy some scenery." 

Suddenly she saw that her bus was ready to board. She shrugged her shoulders, and bid the man a good night, noting that he kept his eyes fixed on her until she had to turn her head back around to navigate her way to the bus. She would have to keep an eye on him, one whisper could send him far away from here so he couldn't be a threat. She would use it only if she had to. 

As she stepped out into the rain to board the bus, she noted there was no company name on the side of the bus like there usually is. Instead, just an unmarked burgundy colored vehicle which seemed to have the occasional rust spots near the wheel wells. She didn’t linger too long in the downpour to examine the bus much closer. She wasn’t in need of a luxury ride or even a Greyhound, just something to get her from point A to point B. 

The driver of the bus was unusual to say the least. Very dark, leathery skin. They wore a face mask, dark sunglasses, and a hat that obscured pretty much all of their facial features. Wordlessly, they extended out a bony hand, palm facing up. Elora nodded, and promptly handed over her bus ticket. Wasn’t there an age limit on this kind of job? The driver seeming to be ancient was bad enough, but they also insisted on wearing sunglasses in spite of it being the dead of night. She figured if she could make it to Wicked’s Rest without crashing it would be a miracle.

She placed her backpack, stuffed as full as possible, on the seat next to the window while she took the aisle seat. The bus doors closed and it seemed as if the bus was ready to depart. She took a look around and realized she was the only person on the bus. Elora smiled softly, looking forward to a quiet and relaxing ride over. That was when he came on board. 

The man from the bus station who completely gave her the heebie jeebies. He stepped on at the last minute and quickly handed his bus pass over to the driver, seeming quite unphased by the driver’s appearance. He didn’t make eye contact with her and simply took a seat across the aisle from her, but one row behind. Did he intend to keep an eye on her during the trip? Or possibly ambush her while she wasn’t looking? It certainly wasn’t as if the driver would notice. 

Elora glanced back at the man and offered a friendly smile. The man looked at her for a few seconds, then flashed a quick smile of his own before dropping it and returning to a neutral expression. His gaze ventured out the bus window, and it seemed as if it was going to be a peaceful ride after all. Elora sat with one hand resting on her backpack, stealing glances backwards towards the man occasionally. Was he wearing headphones? Well of course he was, it was perfectly normal to listen to music on the bus.

The man just sat there, never making any sort of move, not even looking in her direction. Maybe she was being paranoid after all. She almost started to feel bad about wanting to enthrall the man without needing to. The man who picked her up was one thing, it was a very confined space and he was in control of where they were going. That was a reasonable precaution to take, she figured. But this man was just another passenger, just like her. She silently chided herself for being so quick to try and use her magic.

The rest of the trip passed by without incident, and before she knew it, she was in Wicked’s Rest city limits. The bus creaked to a stop, and the doors of the bus opened. The driver finally spoke, for the first time the whole trip. Pointing a skeletal finger towards the doors, they weakly hissed out “exiiiit”. She looked back, hoping the man sitting behind her would get up first, but he made a gesture for her to go first. Not wanting to make a scene, Elora grabbed her backpack and quickly exited the bus. She heard the footsteps of the man not too far behind her. 

She heard the bus pull away, and quickly set her sights for the nearest hotel or inn. She remarked how lively the town seemed to be in spite of it being the dead of night. A good amount of bars, restaurants and clubs were still lit up and she heard the faint hum of music in the distance. If she wasn’t so exhausted, she’d be tempted to join them. After all, it had been too long since she’d gone partying. But as for right now, she just needed a place to lay her head for the night. 

Suddenly, she felt a hard tug on her backpack and she found herself on her back, laying on the cold wet ground. She looked up, and saw the man from the bus. She should have known. Why had he followed her here? 

“You put up a good disguise. But not good enough to fool me. There were tips of a lone siren heading north towards a town called Wicked’s Rest.” The man then grabbed Elora by her shirt collar and lifted her up. “A safe haven for the supernatural, that’s what the rumors say.”

She was now the closest she had been to the man for the entire brief time she knew him. He seemed relatively young, late 20s-early 30s. She tried enthralling the man, hoping her voice would be even more effective now that she was in such close proximity to the man. She needed to get this man away from her until she could get somewhere safe. There would be safety in numbers, and that would give her time to figure out a way to get him away from her for good. To her dismay, she was met with only a faint smirk. 

“Not gonna work on me, but I admire the effort.” The man then produced a blade from a leather holster on his waist. A long, curved blade. This wasn’t just some random psycho, this was a ranger. How long had he been following her? And why target her of all people? She didn’t have much time to think, as he quickly grabbed the knife and attempted to swing it downward into Elora’s face. She blocked the blow by putting her left arm across her face, but was met with the familiar sting as the knife sunk into her arm. The man pulled the knife out in a way that made a large gash that damaged a significant portion of the inside of her arm. He had almost certainly nicked a vein, or even an artery given how much blood she was losing now. It wouldn’t be long until she was completely out of commission, and she needed to make that time count. 

She kicked herself free of the man, using his momentary distraction to gain some distance between them. Elora noticed as she tried to ball her left hand up into a fist that she was unable to do so. She could only flex her ring finger and pinky, while the other three remained completely immobile.

“What the fuck?” she muttered to herself, horrified. This man had done real damage to her. Her last run in with a ranger happened on the fateful day that she lost her home, she took a blade straight to the chest and lived. She had no permanent damage from that day, although she did almost die from blood loss. She had no time to assess the damage any further however, as the man was approaching her once again. 

Thinking quickly, she used her right hand to swing the backpack off of her shoulders and hit the man square in the face. She had worked up a good bit of momentum, and she had an abundance of clothes, books, and her laptop rattling around in that backpack. Suffice to say, it certainly had a lot of weight to it. The man went down to the ground, dropping his knife. Elora pounced on it, reaching for the handle. 

The man also scrambled to reach for the knife, and both grabbed it at the same time. A scuffle ensued, and Elora ended up on top of the man, blade pointed straight at his chest. She threw her entire body weight onto the knife, hoping that she would win against an opponent who clearly had her beat in physical strength. The ranger pushed back as much as he could, but gravity combined with the weight of Elora’s entire body was not on his side. His elbows buckled before finally giving out, the blade sinking deep into the man’s ribs. 

Blood began to come out of the man’s mouth, which ran down and mixed with Elora’s blood which had gotten on the man’s chest during the struggle. She had to have hit his heart, and it was only a matter of minutes until the man would be dead. Maybe less. She pulled the blade out and watched as more blood poured from the wound. The man reached up and attempted to get to a sitting position, but all too quickly lost his strength and laid back on the ground. After an extremely tense 2 minutes of watching the man, she finally saw his chest cease its movements.

She finally rummaged through her bag and made a makeshift tourniquet out of one of her shirts. It wasn’t easy, especially given her now very limited use of her left hand. Thankfully, the bleeding had already begun to slow down, and the tourniquet helped stabilize things further. He may not have opened up an artery after all, Elora thought, grateful that her life was no longer in danger. She took out some towels she was intending to use for bathing and held pressure over the wound before securing them on as a makeshift dressing. It would have to do until she could get some proper first aid supplies. She didn’t feel safe enough in this town yet to be seen at a hospital. 

She dragged the man’s body into the woods where he would hopefully be devoured by the local wildlife. She took the time to relieve him of anything he had on his person that wasn’t easily digestible. After all, she didn’t want to hurt any of the local animals just because some human decided he wanted to be a dick to her. 

She took the time to assess her left hand and noted that she still had no movement in two of her fingers at all. How would she go about life without use of both of her hands? How would her music career take off? She needed those fingers for audio software editing and for playing instruments to use in the background. While her life would be spared, her run in with this man didn’t come without a cost. And now she could only hope that she would find a way around this setback. 

For now, however, she would set out for a local inn, and take a much needed rest. She had hoped whoever was at the front desk wouldn’t be too alarmed by her wound and her makeshift dressing. If the rumors of this town were true, it wouldn’t even come close to the weirdest thing they’ve probably seen around here.

[cubedmango]

once again thanks so much for putting up with my long ass ramblings, and you're welcome too :-) it actually took me a few hours to finish typing out all of it, plus that sort of post-script message afterwards, but it's not like i did it all in one go and there were breaks in between, so it's fine haha. i genuinely appreciate your concern though :') and that's the power of a relatively new fixation i'm really excited about i guess? wjdfjkcnvzs though i did cobble some parts of it from tentative posts and meta i've had in my drafts for a while now, so they're not totally things i had to come up with on the spot the other day at least. and that's okay (i do like what i've seen of your writing though), like obviously no pressure to feel as dedicated as i am when it comes to talking about my blorbos and glup shittos and whatnot - your actual passion for the media is what matters and that ofc manifests in cool different ways for each of us 🫡 [1/?]

(rest below)

ah i'm glad my description of build was intriguing enough for you! i hope i didn't seem like i was laying it on too thick with my constantly paralleling and comparing it to aa though - i mean at first glance, the narratives of aa and build could not seem more different, but in hindsight they both prominently deal with the concepts of truth, justice, corruption, redemption/atonement, identity, and family and friendship in their own ways (though ig that's probably true of kr in general, which then makes sense as for how toku would feature as a major element in many aa cases), even if not always perfectly in either series, but the effort is generally appreciated and still pretty compelling imo. and i really love aa too (i actually discovered your blog and your twitter through your very cool and beautiful aa fanart a while back, and then when i started watching cm, i was pleasantly surprised to also see your fanart in the tumblr tags, so it was nice to see some of my interests align with that of an artist i liked and followed <3) so finding ways to make analogies between whatever i'm currently into with one of my favorite franchises ever seemed like the natural next step haha [2/?]

also let me just say that ryusen is one of the few m/m couples to get me this obsessed apart from narumitsu and the like over the past several years, so that's really my best way of recommending them. again, idk if that will truly be your experience too by the end, but hopefully you'll still find something to like about their dynamic so my being this much of a shill for them won't feel embarrassing later on kjvbrhsfjs [3/?]

and yeah the rings!! they're far from the only gay-coded kr duo to get that kind of official romantic jewelry ofc, but they were apparently one of the first to really make it popular, so yeah their overall cultural impact sure is something to not be underestimated lol. and yup i've found that it's actually fairly common for many companies behind popular japanese media to go for selling that kind of merch, regardless of the actual canonicity of the pairing in question - like capcom, toei/p-bandai, etc. are aware that there's sizeable enough shipping fanbases for said media, and yeah ig selling that stuff while not having the guts to actually canonize said pairings can come off as pretty baity which is not really Great but well that's capitalism and queer/fujobaiting for you ig 😔 and here's what the sento/banjou rings look like btw: www . tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/190132806767/a-new-entry-into-the-growing-selection-of though i can't share a picture of it rn, their names (spelled as sento kiryu and ryuga banjo) are also inscribed on the insides of their respective individual rings :-) [4/?]

as for the 'silly little rabbit with a death wish' part of that post... hehe. you'll Get it if/when you get there >:) btw sento's given name literally means 'rabbit tank' and banjou's given name ryuuga means 'i'm a dragon' iirc (although the former having that name actually has a good in-universe explanation for once, but the latter definitely has no such excuse 😭) - tbh kr (+ other toku franchises i'm sure) is right up there with aa in terms of often corny yet still charming pun names, but because they're mostly in japanese and don't have localized english equivalents, one doesn't always get it right away but i suppose that's what google and wiki are for lol and actually one other particular example that's stood out to me so far is the name of the protagonist from ex-aid (the one played by iijima from odt, and yeah he, inukai, and akaso all knew each other from their time in kr because their shows also had its own crossover movie which also featured a bunch of other popular previous rider protagonists), which is the season immediately preceding build, because it's literally houjou emu - houjou as a pun on the japanese word for 'assistance,' and emu as in short for 'emulator' and derived from the japanese word for 'smile,' because guess what that season was about? doctors who are gamers. so yeah subtlety.exe nowhere to be found here lmao [5/?]

and hell yeah feel free to join me in the madness ^_^ toku can be one hell of a rabbit (lol) hole though, so it might lead you to become interested in other shows and movies of the medium/genre, in which case we'll be in this together as i'm also still beginning to get into other kr shows in particular (like after i finish build, i think i'll be focusing on the earlier heisei seasons of ooo, den-o, or maybe kuuga). as for where to watch it, i don't have one particular strong rec for a site rn, but what i've gone for are kissasian (kissasian . fm/info/kamen-rider-build) or toku . fun (toku . fun/post/watch-online-kamen-rider-build-full-series-49-episodes-english-sub) - obviously kissasian is more of a general site for which to watch asian dramas on, but that's if you don't mind ads popping up every so often and also the subs used are not very consistent like the source for one episode's translation could be a different team/person from the previous episode's, whereas toku . fun is specifically an archive for toku shows and movies, and is more consistent with the subs and is basically ad-free iirc, albeit i think i've also heard said subs on there described as 'usually the most accurate but also the least funny/entertaining' (ig bc tvnihon, their source, tends to err on the side of 'purism' when translating), so whichever is more your style in the end? i personally switch back and forth between the two sites, purely on the basis of if there's a translation i'm not satisfied with, even if i don't know how actually accurate it is lol on a side note, build's opening song 'be the one' by pandora feat. beverly is a nice jam, and it has an official english version where i think the lyrics (+ the original japanese version too) are something that would make one come to realize just how much they fit sento and banjou's relationship by the end of the show :') [6/?]

and thanks again for giving me the go-ahead to keep on rambling ^_^ moving on to build's female characters: there are only 2 really prominent female characters (a few others pop up here and there, or have relatively big roles for an arc or 2, but not throughout the whole show), misora (as mentioned before) and sawa. imo, both are treated decently, being fun and interesting characters with their own arcs not purely tied to the men (although obviously romance with men or the lack thereof are not inherent markers of the quality of a female character's writing, it's worth noting that neither of them are written as love interests (so you'll never get the sense that they get reduced to just that role) to any male character - but tbf, kr and other popular toku aren't really big on romance, even the het ones, in the first place, maybe bc of some japanese cultural conventions or something, but i've heard that the few canon m/f relationships that are present are usually not written very well, which is once more very shounencore of them lol - although unfortunately, there is a guy with a frankly kinda creepy and annoying parasocial crush on misora which most of the other characters don't care for either but it's still played off as comic relief, kinda larry-like in that sense if we're comparing it to aa again, and that's definitely one of the show's major drawbacks; i mean i still think build is overall worth the watch, and again, since you've gone through all of aa already, you'd be a veteran wrt this kind of trope, but regardless i think it's good to give some warning in advance to help you prepare for some of the shit that's about to go down) plus misora and sawa are eventually shown having a personal relationship/friendship with each other outside of the men too :-) however, overall they're still kinda underutilized and underdeveloped (sawa in particular) compared to the guys, plus neither of them are riders, though in kr, that's also definitely not an automatic indicator for whether a female character will be well-written or not, but then again, since we're both aa fans, i'm sure we're already very familiar with the feeling of seeing interesting and compelling female characters not get their full due from their writers, so based on that, build is survivable for sure 😔 [7/?]

and idk how well they would fare next to female characters from other kr seasons, but i also think it's worth pointing out that, for all that build's writer/s are clearly still not immune to misogyny, misora and sawa's overall writing doesn't come off to me as 'so misogynistic it becomes gay' in the vein of idk, naruto or death note, bc again, neither of them were touted as viable love interests to male characters before getting shoved to the side in favor of primarily focusing on homoerotic m/m relationships for most of the story only to still get together with those men in the end, and the only thing build was really marketed as in terms of its relationship writing was the 'heated drama between men' stuff so you already get a sense of what's in store for you from the start, and so ultimately you also don't really feel that annoyed or 'cheated' you know? [8/?]

and then on to akaso: that anecdote was from a full interview with him and inukai from when the show was just starting out - docs . google . com/document/u/0/d/1BwqtHLs5d8Vs2YCJA7XJW3TxhaGta8jo9huEo70ehq0/mobilebasic there's only very mild spoilers for the first episode and then vague allusions to what happens in the next couple of episodes or so, but if you'd still prefer to wait until you've actually watched those episodes to read it in full, i'll just copy here the most relevant parts for what we're talking about: "Inukai: The first scene we appeared together in was…. Akaso: Wasn’t it the first encounter scene? Inukai: [...] At that time, it was really hot at the filming location. During out spare time we just tried to preserve our strength, so we didn’t talk much. Now that I think of it, that day, you were staring at my face the whole time. Didn’t anyone notice? (laugh) Akaso: I was feeling dizzy from the heat, but among all the actors, I suddenly noticed Inukai-kun’s face and was captivated by it, thinking “wow, he is so pretty...” (laugh) The director, Tasaki Ryuuta pointed it out to me. I instantly came to my senses. I’ve never stared at any actress like that before, no matter how pretty, but at that time I suddenly became dizzy and just kept staring in a daze. Turns out, it was a heatstroke (bitter laugh). Inukai: You had a heatstroke because you sensed the dangers of my body (laughs). That was the moment I decided I shouldn’t let my guard down around you. Akaso: Nononono, I wasn’t trying to hit on you!! Inukai: (laughs) Akaso: Please stop, don’t add any unnecessary mental images to the word “partners” (laughs). But when Inukai-kun plays Sento, you get the feeling that he’s a very smart person mulling over a lot of thoughts in his head, I think he looks very pretty and cool. Inukai: That makes me happy, I think. Thank you." [9/?]

so there you have it lol. apparently akaso did use the word for 'heatstroke,' but the translator of this interview pointed out on tumblr that it seems like what happened had no actual severe effects on him, so it was likely just heat stress at most and he just said 'heatstroke' to clearly get the point across or something. in general, akaso during his time on build seemed to have a bit of a pattern of saying some kinda out-of-pocket things that would make one go "oh he really had the nerve to go there huh but like... is he wrong?" like when he also infamously claimed at two separate promotional events that banjou was the real 'heroine' of the story (which makes his previous comment to inukai to not add "any unnecessary mental images to the word 'partners'" funnier) 😭 during the first event, he was asked to introduce his character and then himself, and when he said banjou's name, he added that he was the 'heroine,' at which takada kaho (misora's actor) interjected and pointed at herself to say that *she* was playing the 'heroine' and there was a bit of back-and-forth between them as both kept insisting they were the 'heroine' (all in a lighthearted manner ofc) but in the end i think akaso got in the last word before he passed on the mic to takada so she could properly introduce herself this time, although she didn't bring up the heroine stuff again from what i could tell lol. the video i watched from that first event didn't actually have subs, but you could get the gist of it especially since they said 'heroine' in english. as for the second event, i also watched a bit of its video but i don't think i got to the part where he made the comment, so i only saw later on a screenshot from that same video where what he said was translated as "then, when i read the final script, it said that kaho takada was feeling down because banjo ryuga was the heroine." [10/?]

and. well... neither of them are wrong exactly fnsjngkbs. like ofc misora filled the obligatory female lead role, but generally speaking, it seems like it was obvious even among the cast that banjou, in addition to being the typical male co-protagonist like in a 'buddy cop' type of movie or show, was the one pretty much framed as the story's 'heroine,' imo in the style of a shounen anime or manga to sento's shounen protagonist position (well, the shounen animanga with well-written central m/f romances anyway), with the implication of being sento's love interest in all but name officially also. like... it's still very much subtextual but also wow talk about the lack of subtlety here too 😭 and at that second event, there was another comment he made that made me go "okay come on don't do this to us" but it's related to spoilery series-finale and post-series material, so it's probably best that i save discussing it for when you're done watching, if ever. but well yeah i'm kinda obsessed with his mind for all that like. thank you for continuing to help us fans not sound delusional via all these very enlightening comments (i mean aside from how heavy the subtext already was in the actual story) but also what's his issue 😭😭 [11/?]

btw build isn't actually akaso's first kr show - it's amazons, specifically its 2nd season, which also got released in 2017 some months prior to build's airing. amazons is one of those aforementioned more adult-oriented toku webseries and was meant to be a 'darker and more mature reimagining of the 1974 television series, kamen rider amazon,' but it got more mixed reviews overall compared to build, especially since iirc a lot of fans think it didn't handle said darker themes too well or something (there's cannibal cultists?? i think??? idk if akaso's character hiroki was one of them though). but the upside to it is that it was precisely his work on amazons that got akaso cast on build (from what i can tell, hiroki is nowhere near as dumb as banjou, but there's a similar delinquent vibe, albeit hiroki's aesthetic seems to be somewhat edgier). i find it funny though bc hiroki is apparently a 17 year old high schooler, then a few months later akaso made the jump to playing a 23 year old (which was his actual age at the time of filming) ex-pro fighter... the range of this man jwkfjksfdlms [12/?]

on a final side note about something that's not really relevant to all that other stuff but still kinda funny: i just remembered that apparently back when cm was airing, and that moment in ep. 2 (?) where adachi forces the elevator doors open to ask kurosawa out to dinner happened, people were commenting "well that's kamen rider training for you" and yeah i definitely believe banjou could/would have done something like that. though he probably would have punched the doors in the process too, or because he's a dumbass, he might also let himself get accidentally hit by the closing doors and then that's when he'd punch them in response lmao also i think i'll save my further thoughts on the kamen rider yuri and also the few canon lgbt+ characters the series does have so far + the varying qualities with which they've been written for later messages, bc once again this has gotten far too long and there's already a lot of things here for you to process and respond to so. thank you so much again and bye for now 🙏🏼 [13/13]

thank You again for all the info omg theres so much detail again ur a legend..!! reading it is so fun too i can rlly tell u like the franchise a lot that makes me happy ty for sharing all this w me 🥺 and actually to update u i watched a couple of eps since ur last asks (currently on ep8 kdjfksj i did a littol binging) and 1) it is Very different in tone from what i was expecting! i thought itd be like . moody and serious action etc but its actually rlly silly and thats a huge plus for me i love me some silliness always and 2) did take a bit of getting used to the format (+ to akaso and inukai in these roles theyre so different from cm and odt How are these the same guys) but honestly im rlly enjoying the buildup of the mystery?? and the charas are v endearing i care them already. also i cannot believe they dropped this one me in ep *ONE*

LIKE HELLO??? all i could think at first was "this is so nrmt in turnabout goodbyes coded" with the whole "i believe in you" thing but goddam . u werent kidding about these two huh. i get why the rings now i get it. Man. but yeah big fan of their dynamic so far !! and a little unrelated but im hoping they keep up the bit w banjou figuring out best matches in 1 second its my favorite thing rn fkdjsjfjdfhs

(also also this bit im just . thinking. a lot. kind of a crazy line to drop in the middle of all the silliness isnt it 👁👄👁)

anyway . onto misora and sawa omg theyre so good too ???? misora esp shes so funny and i keep wondering when theyll get into her whole powers deal its been on my mind since ep1 ........ these two are def not getting as much screentime ive noticed but at least the times they show up are great so far and none of that forced romance stuff which is what im used to sadly so ill take it 👍 just hope we do get to their backstories too eventually or im gonna be :(

also little cut to the villains too since theyre p prominent but although i already figured gentoku was involved somehow from the start i cannot for the life of me figure out what blood stalks deal is???? like is he just there for the drama of it all . whys he kind of helping the guys what does it Mean-

THE INTERVIEWS HELPJFKDJF ive heard legends of mr akaso eiji and his out of pocket commentary im understanding now ..... that "heroine" thing is Crazy though like surely he had to have known the implications right ????? doesnt he know that stuff is dangerous to fans come on man 😔 ur right abt the range tho im already so impressed by his and inukais acting in here since its so different from the charas they played in cm and odt but still p similar in how they do emotional scenes so im enjoying seeing those 👀

i think ill keep watching bc mostly i just. Really need to know what the mystery is (and still that "silly little rabbit has a death wish" thing, tho im starting to have a hunch about who its referring to.........) so yeah maybe ill have more liveblogging updates for u next time if ur interested in seeing my reactions akfjkdsjf

(before i go one last thing . ACE ATTORNEY REFERENCE???????)

[omglisalithium]

This is going to be a random rant about the live action One Piece series on Netflix, as well as Disney. They're not related, but this will make sense later. This review will not contain spoilers. Full disclosure: I'm vaguely familiar with the original manga and anime, and my husband helped me write this because his knowledge of the OG series is far superior than mine.

Let's start with the bad:

It's VERY important in any series or movie, regardless of whether or not it's a remake, to properly set the stage so that your viewers understand the goal and know what's going on. My husband called it out immediately at the very start of the first episode that a major line explaining the goal of the show hadn't been stated right, which I feel will cause confusion among new viewers who might not be familiar with the original series.

And now the good:

It was crystal clear that a lot of love and care went into the casting, costuming, the musical score, and the writing. There are parts that are a bit awkward, but I feel like that's just something that happens with nearly every live action remake. The special effects consistently had me floored, and I didn't watch a single episode without saying some version of "that was fucking incredible and I want to know what program they used" with nearly each effect.

Here is where Disney comes in.

What brought me to write a review about One Piece in the first place was that I found that Tomorrow Studios and Netflix only started principal photography for the show in January 2022, and started actually filming in AUGUST 2022. Excuse me??? How is it that Disney has all of the money, manpower, and resources available to them at the drop of a hat and they can't get out a decent show or movie in less than 2 years, and yet a fairly small film company teamed up with Netflix got all their filming done in a few months AND had the best special effects I've seen in years?

And yes, I am fully aware that covid was a thing that pushed a lot of projects back, and also that the live action One Piece had been worked on since 2017, but people, they got amazing filming and editing done on an 8 episode show with each episode being about an hour long in less than a year. How long have we been talking about the Ahsoka show before Disney confirmed a release date? Over 3 years. Even before covid, it still took Disney 2 years to crank out each of the Star Wars sequels. Like hello??? This isn't the 70s anymore. With all the film industry's technological advancements, it's no longer acceptable for a company as big as Disney to take more than a year to get the next show/movie out, only for said show/movie to be very disappointing. It took them a decade to get out sequels for movies like The Incredibles and Finding Nemo. I'm sorry, but it's just not acceptable anymore and we shouldn't be putting up with it.

TLDR:

Live action One Piece: 10/10

Disney's ability to get quality movies/shows out in less than 2 years even though they have the resources to do it in 1 year: -10/10

[cyanidefilledcandy]

I apologize for how long this likely will be and how rambly it likely will be, but I just feel like I need to get it out.

I just got a call from my dad that my aunt passed away. I'm sad of course....but maybe not as sad as I should be? Mostly I'm just angry...

I couldn't sleep tonight...even on medication, I was up every hour or so, until I got the call and I knew immediately someone had died... Someone unexpectedly once again taken from my family....at the same time of year around the same time of morning...

For the past 4 years, I've lost someone close to me....always around the same time. (And even before that... It's like the cirmustances are always the same.)

August 2008, I couldn't sleep for more than a few minutes no matter what. Then my little sister woke me up around 3-4am and told me my grandmother, who she and I both lived was gasping for breath and she couldn't wake her up.

A few years later, August, I went to visit my great grandmother, someone I grew up seeing everyday, because she found out she had a deadly illness for years that her doctor didn't tell her abour and again 3-4am, we got a call she passed away.

2018 was when things got kicked into overddrive. 2018, I lost my maternal grandmother around Thanksgiving....after being so excited to be able to spend Christmas with her after years of only seeing her once or twice a year. 3-4am.

I lost my cat a month later; a year later.

I've always been more or less accepting when it comes to death...

Even as a toddler, I was always acutely aware of it, scared of it, its inevitability and permenance. At 4 years old (maybe even younger), I had nightmares of Death, coming after my parents, me. Of inescaple apocalypses and definite countdowns for me and those closest to me. I thought about far more than any child likely did or should, but when it happened, I'd mourn and then move on... fairly quickly. My paternal grandmother's death definitely changed me in some way. She was the person I was closest to and nothing out of the ordinary happened the day before. She did the exact same thing we did every year. She drove around got things ready for my sister and I for the beginning of school the following day. And then....she was gone. I felt grief...deep grief, but maybe not as deep as I should. I was sad. I mourned. But then I was numb...

And I have been ever since....

With every new death from someone I love, grew up with and was close to, upom hearing the news, I'd mostly just feel numb, maybe cry for a bit and then more or less carry on.

That is until 2021 when my little sister died after guving birth. Nothing in the world could've ever prepared me for burying my little sister. No amount of the death dreams I'd had or even my worst nightmare where she was actually killed in front of me instead of us just waiting for could've prepared me for that being a reality. As always, I couldn't sleep that night no matter what (though that's hardly anything new these days), and then....at 3-4am, I heard my dad on the phone with my mom and found out she was gone....after giving birth a few hours earlier; after being mostly fine during that time.

I've never had a death hit me so hard and I don't think I'll ever recover. And it changed me deeply and permenantly as a person....somewhat for the better, mostly for the worst.

For the better (which is honestly the only thing other than wanting to be happy before I die), I decided to try and make time with those I love and get better about communicating.

Family has always meant a lot to mw, but I've always been an extreme introvert. I've always enjoyed my own company. I've always been not super affectionate. I've always hated talking on phones (it's nearly a phobia). And at family events, I'd say hello, and disappear soon after because I never know how to behave around people. I've always felt awkward and have been told I make others feel awkward, so I'd rather just not be around them. I also severely hate driving (again, to the point of nearly phobia) that I don't unless I ABSOLUTELY have to (and sometimes not even then). This all got worse when I got severely depressed in my late teens and with the social awkwardness came anger and iritial irritability, as well as anger for at my family for more reasons than one; so I isolated further.

But I said, I would get better about communicating with people and....in a way I have, but not enough...

I still avoid phones calls, except every now and then with people I know will keep me on the phone a long time. (My aunt was such a person.) And I've always been bad about calling people, somewhat the reason above, sometimes because I'm usually so depressed that I don't want to ruin anyone's mood, but mostly because I'm just super forgetful. I'd been thinking of calling my aunt for the past few days; just to check on her and always either forgot or didn't because the time didn't seem right. I also had two mugs she'd ask me to get her from California that I never seemed to have time to drop off to her. .....and now I can't and this why I'm so angry.

At myself. Literally what the fuck is wrong with me?

When my sister died, I had been wabting to spend Christmas with her and my niece, but got hit with such a bad depressive episode that I felt I couldn't deal with anything. I had also had a possible exposure to COVID and didn't want to risk her or the baby...but the depression was the real reason. Then came the next when she was supposed to give birth. She asked me (begged me) to be with her to deliver; but I mostly thought she was joking because she joked like that all of the time. I planned to, I really did, but the depression was still horrible, plus I had anxiety about driving as well as trying to help my sister with a toddler, a new baby, a likely destroyed house because her BD was useless while I barely had my own shit together.

And then she died. Alone....something she always said she didn't want. She always saidbshe wanted the chance to say goodbye to her family.

And I let it happen....because I couldn't get over my bullshit... She thought the world of me and I couldn't even be a good big sister, as much as I've always tried to be.

And now, here it is again, I've lost two more people who I couldn't be assed to communicate with. My great aunt died last November and now my aunt is dead the following January....

And my mom has lost a mother and daughter and my father, a daughter and a sister (as well as both parents years earlier) and I feel like I should be doing more to comfort them and....I just don't know how. I've done my best to communicate to them to please call me if they need or want ro, but other than that...I just don't fucking know what else to do. Other than visit them, which I do try to do, but still not nearly enough.

And I'm just the worst person during grief because I don't know what to do, and I'm too emotionally distant and numb to be of any help.

And concieted since this post is about nothing except me bitching about myself and my feelings.

I've always felt like a shitty person and people would always ask me why.

This.

This is why.

And on top of that, I'm just... mad at the universe. Like I said, I'd missed a LOT of time with family because if work....most of my adult life, in fact. I was working to try and make things better for us all, true enough, but at the cost of actual time with them. And the MOMENT. The moment I decide to let that go and am actually EXCITED to spend a holiday with them (I haven't been excited about holidays in decades), it's like they all start dropping.

My grandmother, my cat, my sister, my great aunt, my aunt. And always around this time of year....August-January....a time of year that used to be my favorite. Warm holidays spent with family, lots of family birthdays (including my grandmothers, grandfather, sister, niece, and now nephew), my birthday, and just I love fall and winter in general. Now it's just a time of my depression getting worse and death. Everything about this time has been tainted and ruined and my mind just keeps asking, why now? Why this time of year? Why nearly always that time of night. I know it isn't a curse, and yet it feels like it. My family are good people. They have their flaws, but they're ultimately good people who try to do good by others, yet are still continously dealt shitty cards.

And it's made worse by the fact that most of my family photos, especially those of my immediate family (my mom, full sister, dad, and me) are pretty much all lost. Some because my mom lost a storage unit and others because my grandmother's house was left to rot after she died. (I literally went one day to find some of our family photos thrown in the yard like a pile of trash and that broke me way more than her death did.) I saved what I could and then they still wound up lost after I moved states. My sister had some of them in her apartment but they were all gone when we went to search her apartment....I can only guess her PoS BD either threw them or took them for no reason at all because it's not like he cared for my family or even my sister if we're being honest.

If anything was left in my grandmother's house, I'm pretty sure the tornado a couple of days ago finished it off...

It feels like my family isn't just dying; it's being erased.

So, I'm just angry at everything, especially myself. I just want to crawl in a ball and disappear or just swallow a bottle of pills and be done with it all. I don't want to do that to my parents, but I know I won't survive hearing something happened to them.

[arcade-writing]

A Sirens Call

🍋 fanfic

Pairing: Siren! Silco X reader

Gender neutral reader

Warning: Creampie, monster fucking, duel gentitialia, minor blood kink, bondage

In this Silco is a siren based off the ones in Greek mythology instead of the usual idea of them. But there are still elements of what is known

"CAPTAIN! ROCKS AHEAD-!"

You heard from above, you grasped the steering wheel with a new found determination.

"BRACE YOURSELF, MEN!" With all your strength you spun the wheel, gritting your teeth.

The chip shook as it hit the harsh waters. Rocks skidding along the side as you cried out. Everyone was gripping onto something for their dear life. Some dangling dangerously by one hand as your boat crashed into the sandy shore ahead.

"EVERYONE ALIVE?!" you screamed, panting as you adjusted your head.

You heard a chrous of "alive" until one scream ripped through. A crew member popping his head through the gate with a panicked expression.

"WE GOT A LEAK!"

"ANYONE HURT?!" You pushed yourself off the wheel, jogging over to him.

"A few, Captain, but nothing serious - we'll need to repair the ship."

You nodded. Dusting off your hands as you ordered everyone off the boat. You counted them in your head as you watched them line up on the sand. Smiling when everyone was accounted for. You slid down the ladder, meeting your crew on the shore.

"We'll have to see what we can find, I need our strongest to divide between two groups - one to protect the ship and the other to hunt for wood, understood?"

"AYE CAPTAIN!" They all yelled, already aware of each others skills and strengths - easily dividing into groups. You waved off your brave men who went further onto the island.

A growing paranoia chewed at your gut. Fearing you'd all be stranded or worse, found by the wrong kind of company. This whole venture was already a risk and now your ship was ripped open! Every pirate knew it was dangerous to stay in one area for too long. It was only due time before a nation ship found or the horrors of the sea. You didn't even want to think of the dangers of the sky coming down to feast.

There was too many risks. You needed your ship back on its journey as soon as possible.

"You alright, captain?"

A hand came down on your shoulder. You jumped as you instinctively went to swing for whoever touched you. You stopped yourself seconds before you punched your trusted second hand. Sighing out a breath of relief.

"Grills, sorry, I was deep in thought."

"Exactly, that's why I'm worried."

A scoff mixed with a laugh escaped you. Turning to your second hand with hands on your hips.

"I just hope we can fix the ship soon, we can't stay here." You admitted, crossing your arms as you scanned the surrounding area.

"We'll get through this, we've been lucky so far."

"Let's hope this isn't the day it ends."

"Focus on the positives, captain, we can actually eat something other scraps."

He nudged your tense arm, grinning. You perked up at his words. Stomach growling at the mere thought of a proper meal. How long has it been since you and your crew have actually gotten to hunt and cook for actual food? Stopped by a newby city or town for supplies?

You've completely lost count of the days. It's been far too long.

"Oh? Did you find a fishing spot already?"

"Of course, I've found a nice cave around here with plenty of fish swimming through." He pointed over to it with his thumb.

"You're a life saver, Grills." You smiled.

It was a few hours since the search party, some of your men came back with sacks of fruits and coconuts. One dancing as he showed off the fairly large crab in his hand.

When you asked about wood, they said they've found the perfect spot but they'll need more time. Better supplies will be needed and it it'll take longer than expected to get enough. You frowned at the news but thanked them regardless. They ventured into the unknown and did not come back empty handed. Literally.

You were always thankful for your crews hard work.

The fire roared to life as you all sat around it. You devoured the fish in your makeshift bowl. Using half of a coconut as one. You were all starving. It became easy to ignore when you knew it was the only choice you had. But now? You were laughing as you had plenty to go around.

This island was a luxury rare to find. It made you feel slightly more at ease knowing you'll be spending longer here. But there was an annoying voice in the back of your head, fearing that there were others also enjoying it's luxuries. People will not be happy to see others taking part.

You needed to clear your head.

"Give this to Skipper, hes still young, he'll need plenty of food to grow." You nudged Grills, he looked up at you in confusion.

"You've finished, captian?"

"I've had my fill, I need to clear my head."

He handed you your gun, giving you a nod. Silently pleading you to stay safe. You tippped your hat as you kept a tight grip on your gun. Walking away from your crew and into the trees, the nearby cave calling for you.

You took in a deep breath, scanning the area before stopping. The beautiful waters below whispered promises of tranquility. You couldn't deny it. It was such a stunning blue. Like sparkling sapphires was melted down mixed in with crystals. You could see a few fish swim through but soon they swam away noticing your presence.

You began to strip. Folding your clothes near the edge until you were left bare. Only a necklace remained. It was a trophy; or atleast, you believed it to be. A shiny gold nugget you wrapped in fishing wire and kept tied around your neck with a leather rope. You found the nugget placed among other trinkets in your office. Slowly being given gifts by someone unknown.

You had your theories but you kept shaking them from your head. It would be impossible. Ridiculous. Unheard of.

But apart of you hoped they were from him.

You could remember it all so clearly. As you sank deeper into the pool, it cleared your mind. Let you focus on one striking memory. Your ship was more gorgeous around this time; still early in your career as a captain. A different crew other than a few you've still kept to this day. Your relationship with the sea was one of ignorance and pride.

You were young and stupid and allowed even dumber people on your ship. Which caused more issues than you wanted.

They shot down a poor siren. Probably only around 8 years old in human years. With chubby cheeks and a naive attitude towards the world. You missed her. They carelessly captured her without your word or knowing, wishing to surprise you. You, obviously, placed the girl in your cabin before shooting the bastard's.

You wouldn't tolerate such behaviour on your ship. Many grew to understand that over time. Even when you were younger, not fully aware of you respect you needed for the sea, you knew this was too much. She was only a child and they took delight in hurting her. It was revolting.

She was fearful of all of you. Whenever you tried to take care of her damaged wing she would claw and kick. Screeching like a mad man as she sobbed. It broke your heart. You decided it was best you gain her trust. After all, she was now stuck on a ship full of pirates. The same pirates that didn't stop those bastard's from hurting her. She had every right to be scared.

It took a few days but you were able to get her trust. She was looking after her wing herself when you were getting her use to you. It wasn't a bad job. Messy and unsure but did the job regardless. You nursed her until she demanded to go home, you were unsure as she wasn't fully healed. But she was desperate to get back to her family.

You learned her name was Jinx. She lived on an island with her father. It was a remarkable discovery to find Sirens could talk - we all knew they could sing but most siren calls were no more than noises toned into a melody. No words at all.

It was when you were sailing back to her island it where you met him. As soon as he saw jinx by your side he swooped down from the skies and put a claw to your throat. Jinx pleaded him not to hurt you, explaining what happened. He didn't trust you but listened to his daughter. He wouldn't hurt you but he wouldn't make your life easier.

He put scratches all over your ship and ripped a sail. It was a warning. If anyone ever did that again, he would do more than inconvince you. A sail could be repaired even if you were all rushed incase of harsh winds. And scratches were nothing. It didn't break your ship but this was your baby. Your first ship and she was already marked with hatred.

You only just caught his name. Jinx muttering an upset "silco stop" when he went to scoop her up. She could just give you a wave as he went flying off. You waved back but you weren't sure if she saw you.

Ever since that day he's been trailing your boat. That's when the gifts started appearing. You thought it was just your crew trying to please you. Knowing they'd get shot down and thrown overboard if they ever pulled a stunt like that.

But apart of you hoped it was that Siren. There was something about him that latched to your brain. He was.... beautiful but in a strange way.

You pulled yourself underwater. Hoping to get rid of your thoughts. You were an odd person to think a siren was beautiful. A sirens song could charm and turn your mind to mush. Causing you to be tricked and see your deepest desires but when that charm wasn't there? Most if not all agreed sirens were a hideous group of creatures.

Yet here you were, wishing one was after your affections.

When you let out a gasp. Bursting out of the water you screamed. Rope tightened around your body as you went upwards. You looked up to see you were caught in a broken fish net. It tangled around you awkwardly. Your hands tied above your head, legs dangling at different heights and spread apart and your torso had it twist around you.

This was beyond humiliating.

Suddenly, a deep rumble came from further into the cave. A voice you've never heard of tingling at your senses. You immediately recognized what was happening - of course. OF COURSE! you think of the damn things and now they appear!

You tried to focus on releasing yourself from the knots but it was futile. The more you twisted the tighter it became. The voice grew louder and louder until it engulfed your mind. Turning it into a fuzzy mess as you went limp.

Two eyes appeared from the darkness. The creature stalked closer to you, revealing himself in the light.

"S-Silco?"

The singing trailed. He jumped towards you, propping one leg on your thigh and the other in the net, leaning down to look at your face better.

It was him. It was the siren you've been thinking about.

"It's you." Was all you said. The singing stopped and your mind immediately became clear.

And there he was. Towering over you with a confused expression. "How?" He spat.

"I---" oh lord, how were you going to explain this? The last time he was up this close to you, he had to intent on killing you. How do you explain the way your heart skipped a beat whenever you remember those burning eyes?

Explain to him you've been crushing on him like you were a love stricken fool back in school. That you spent countless nights thinking about him in ways that would declare you insane. Touching yourself as you imagined his sharp teeth on your flesh.

And now here you are. Naked and tied up and faced with your oddest fantasy.

"You desire me." He spoke bluntly. Feeling no need to toy with you. Though, it seems he was talking more to himself than you.

"Perhaps."

That was the best you could give. Far too embarrassed to speak the truth. You moved your head back, looking away from him as you shifted your head. His eyes snapped towards your now exposed throat. Your breath caught in your throat as he leaned further down, trailing his tongue along your neck.

You squirmed as one hand grabbed the ropes keeping your hands bound whilst the other trailed down your body. Watching your back arch into his touch when his slender fingers brushed over your nipple. He added pressure, pinching and rolling it causing you to let out a moan. He went back to assaulting your neck as he gently bit down.

"Fuck-!" You hissed out as he adjusted his position, now able to bite down from your collar bone to your chest.

A warm liquid dripped from his love bites. You felt your heart clench as a small pit in your stomach began to churn. He lapped up your blood, with a moan.

His hand caressed your side as he finally lifted himself up. "Excited, are we?"

You were trembling already. Trying to spread your legs further in hopes he'll finally give it the attention it needs. He jumped down from your body, becaming eye height to your crotch. Grabbing your hips and pressed your sex to his lips.

"You taste sweeter than I expected."

Than expected?! "You-- you thought about me?"

A dumb question but your mind was turning to putty. Silco chuckled, licking his sharp teeth.

"I've done more than think about you, my sweet."

You gasped at the idea. Moaning as he licked up your arousal, sucking and kissing where he could. Finding every spot that made you scream. Your legs wrapped around his head as much as you could, keeping him close as he devoured you.

This couldn't be real. This had to be a dream. But if dreams could feel this good - you didn't want to wake up.

Your eyes rolled back as he put all his attention on your most sensitive part. His tongue felt so long and warm against you. Your body jerking as you felt something prod at you. Your head was thrown back as he began to thrust a finger inside you. Working you open until he could fit two.

He hummed against you. Only moving away enough so you could hear him. "I don't think two fingers will be enough."

There was a smug pride in his voice. Your cheeks went red as you tried to imagine how big he could be. After all, it's not like he had his parts swinging about. Most believed Sirens were sexless.

He added a third finger, you bit back the pain. Even if your craziness nights of pleasure, you've never added more than two. He kissed and licked at your sex again. Refocusing your mind as you clenched around him. Your climax crashing upon you as you screamed out his name.

"Silco- please - I'm ready." You moaned out.

The siren moved away much to your delight and dismay. His eyes trailed to the ropes keeping you suspended. He let out a disapproving hum. Before you knew it, you could falling into his arms. You threw off the rope and clung to him.

Finally, you could touch him. His breath hitches as you ran your palm along his skin. He nuzzled against your cheek as you kissed his jaw. You made sure to avoid his gills as you kissed and nibbled. Leaving your own hickies.

He laid you down on a mat of leaves, dried seaweed and fabric. You smiled up at him as he towered over you. Taking in view of his own work. Trailing his one functioning eye down your body. It was a crystal blue like the waters you was caught in. Meanwhile his other eye was a raging storm of red and orange melted into a pit of black.

He was breath taking.

His black feathers were ruffled as he stared you down. You trailed your hands around his body. feeling the scales reaching down from his elbows to the tip of his fingers. Two fins on his side's and one on his back. Just like a shark.

That's when your hand stopped at his crotch. There was a slit now visible to you. You looked up at him with a hesitant touch.

"Go on, no need to be shy." He chuckled. Guiding your hand as your fingers pressed against his folds. Cheeks glowing when you felt how warm and wet he was.

"Excited, are we?" You mocked his earlier words.

He just scoffed. His gaze gentle as he shivered under your touch. You jumped back slightly when two cocks peeked out from his folds. HE HAD TWO?! You didn't stop your rubbing, kissing the head of one of them. He panted as they finally came out. they were vaguly humaniod, the structure was the same but his tip was had a rounded point. Below it was pudgy and thick with small rounded spikes on the bottom. They curved to make a slight V shape.

He was BIG.

"Whoa..." you couldn't stop staring. You felt as if you shouldn't be staring so much. Was it rude to stare? Oh god what if he thinks you're not interested anymore?

"They look.... delightful."

You cringed at yourself. Screaming internally as you saw him shift above you.

"Are you going to pleasure me or will you keep laying there like a dying fish."

You nodded. Scrambling up as you laid him on his back. Laughing to yourself as you found a nice spot between his legs, resting on your stomach. You slowly run your hands along his shafts. Getting a sense for them as you tried to figure out how this was going to work.

You wrapped your lips around one, taking in as much as you could whilst you grasped the other one. Trying to sync your hand movements with your head. You bopped your head up and down as you clumsily jerked him off. Despite it all, he was squirming beneath you, biting back his noises as he tried not to move. His hips were tense from trying not to jerk.

You moved off his dick with a wet pop. Slowing down your hand. He made a strangled noise of protest.

"Do as you please, you don't need to hold back." Was all you said before you went back to work.

He slowly became less tense underneath you. Letting his body move as he fucked into your mouth. He let out a groan as he grabbed your head, pushing you further down on his cock.

"That's it- you can do it." He breathed out, watching you.

You did your best to swallow around it as you sucked, moving your hand faster as you finally got into a steady rythm. Picking up your pace until you gagged. You took a deep breath before going back down, nose in the soft tuff of feathers he had as a happy trail.

Silco let out another strangled noise as he gripped the floor beneath him.

"You're doing so well-" he hissed out. Panting as he tried to keep up with your eager speed.

He saw white before he could even realize what was happening. Gasping as he went limb. You choked as you swallowed greedily, going to his other leaking cock to suck it. Milking him dry as you placed both of his tips in your mouth, sucking and licking until he was cumming again.

He pulled you off, sitting up as he grabbed at you. Yanking you up onto his lap. You squealed as you felt his cocks rub against you.

"You-" he took in one deep breath as a grin began to crack on his lips. "You are a minx."

"Thank you." You smiled, placing a kiss on his lips.

He shook his head. "I'm not done with you yet."

Before you could even ask he had you on the floor again, his lips crashing against yours as he groaned. You yelped as you felt something push through your entrance. You looked down to see his cock slipping into you.

"I can take both." You said without thought. Your lips trembling as you looked down at them.

"Oh? Can you, now? Do you really want to test that?"

Whilst his voice was mocking, he was waiting for you. There was a genuine question to it - you thought more about it. You could feel yourself clench around him at the mere idea of it, whimpering as you nodded.

"Words, captain, I need you to speak."

"I can take both - please fuck me with your cocks."

He let out a deep purr. Pulling out before he lined himself back up. Taking hold of both as he slowly pushed them into you. You shook and hissed as you clawed at his arms and back. Trying to steady your breath as you felt yourself be completely stretched.

Silco was gentle. Slowing down and keeping still when he noticed you struggling. He waited on your words to move. Doing small thrusts to ease you further along.

"So warm-" he muttered to himself. In his own world as he focused on his thrusts.

You moaned as you finally felt his hips meet yours. You were so full. Completely stuffed with his cocks. You've never felt his full in your life. No lover has ever made you feel this way. You always had an itch for more but no one could fulfill it, no matter their attempts.

But silco. He completed you.

Once you gave him the 'okay' he began thrusting. Holding your hips up as he pounded into you. His breathing became shaky, feeling you clench around him.

"You're perfect - you take me so well - my perfect mate."

His words was stumbling out of him now. Mindlessly rambling as he fucked you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and grabbed his shoulders. Keeping yourself grounded as your head became dizzy. You couldn't focus on anything other than how good you feel. The wet squealching coming between you only heightened your feelings.

Your eyes were completely rolled back as he picked up the pace. A brutal and merciless speed as he buried his head into your neck.

His name was the only thing you could remember. It rolled off your tongue with every moan.

"Mine." He growled in your ear, moving your legs from his waist to your chest. The new angle making him reach much deeper inside you.

"I'm yours-!" You moaned back, feeling your second orgasm build up.

His thrusts became more sloppy as he kissed you once again. Both of your moans being muffled and engulfed by each others mouths. Your back arched as you came. HARD. breathless as you was left staring at the ceiling as your legs twitched and shook.

It wasn't long before he was cumming. You didn't think you get feel more full yet here you were. He shivered as he leaned against you. Slowly pulling out until you were left empty. You could feel his cum drip down from your hole as you laid there.

"That- that was.... amazing" you panted.

Before silco could respond there were screams from outside. Not too far from the cave. "CAPTAIN!! CAPTAIN?!!"

"Seems my crew miss me." You chuckled. Still trying to catch your breath.

Silco helped you stand, as your legs trembled. Leading you back to the pool of water. Washing you as he pressed kisses down your body. You put your clothes back on, cursing at all the buckles and layers.

"Come with me." You said, looking at him.

"They'll shoot me."

"I won't let them."

He knew you were telling the truth. Its what drew him to you in the first place, the fact you killed your own men without hesitant to save his daughter. Your compassion and ruthlessness. It made him fall for you.

And so, he stalked behind you as you waved to your crew. They all rushed towards you with panicked yells.

"Captain-! The girl! She's with the other men!"

The girl? Wait - if Silco is here then that means- you ran forward with the siren quick behind you. You stumbled back to your camp as you threw your arms open.

"JINX!" you cried out.

She whipped her head, sprinting towards you. Flapping her wings as she leapt into your arms.

"CAPTAIN!" she beamed. You squeezed her tight, making sure to avoid her wings as she nuzzled your cheek.

Silco stood by you, placing one hand on his daughters hair. Rigid in his movements. You all sat by the fire. Your crew questioning where you were. Your cheeks flushed as you scratched the back of your neck.

"Just sight seeing- I ran into him whilst in the cave."

Jinx was sitting in your lap but leaned against her father. Chewing on a fish that was left over from your crews dinner.

"Why are you here?" She asked, innocently.

"We were sailing further out before we got ship wrecked "

"How did they find you?" Silco asked to the little girl. His glare fierce as he looked at your men.

"When they were chopping down trees, I fell out and Grills recognized me."

She pointed to your second hand with a smile. He waved back at her. You turned to silco, sheepishly smiling.

"Sorry for cutting down your territory, we didn't know, we just need some wood and we'll be able to fix the ship."

"Then you'll leave." He muttered, venom in his voice.

"Yes.... we'll leave."

He didn't seem happy with your response. Jinx noticed his expression and immediately perked up.

"Let us come with you! I want to be a pirate!"

You chuckled, ruffling her hair. "you can but only if your dad says so." You both looked at him with a large smile.

He looked between you two and then at your crew. Sighing he nodded his head. Jinx immediately jumped up and began ordering people around.

You laughed as you leaned against silcos shoulder. This was the beginning of a very aventful journey.

[mgmoments]

Growing Into Your Own

Diavolo | Obey Me!

Muscle growth, muscle worship, macro

Warning, NSFW

Your time spent with Diavolo was always some of your favorite. When you first arrived, little did you realize that the Lord of the Devildom would quickly become not only one of your closest friends, but even something a little more.

It wasn't uncommon for Diavolo to summon you to his opulent home for coffee, tea, or simply to spend the evening talking with you. Barbatos never seemed to mind the extra company, likely because it was good for the Master of the house to have someone else to talk to. That, and you were fairly good about cleaning up after yourself.

Today was no different. Diavolo had summoned you to his office to chat while he finished paperwork. Something seemed slightly off, however. You were never really one to notice the smaller details, but you couldn't help but take note at every time Diavolo tugged at his collar or attempted to pull his sleeves down.

"Dia, is something wrong? You've been tugging at your suit a ton since I got here," you asked, curious. He simply smiled.

"Ah, no no. Nothing's wrong. It's just...a touch tight. I suppose Barbatos must have shrunk it in the wash!"

"I assure you, I did not such thing Master Diavolo," Barbatos stated, entering the room to refill Diavolo's tea. "There is...another matter of concern. Perhaps our guest should depart so we might discuss this matter privately?"

Diavolo seemed ready to protest, but a sharp glance from Barbatos quieted him before he had the chance. He sighed. "I suppose it is getting late. I'll see you again tomorrow, yes? We can have one of those 'slumber parties' you said humans like to have!"

You laughed, but Diavolo simply beamed his bright smile. With no reason to protest, you gathered your things and headed back to the House of Lamentation. You couldn't help but wonder what exactly the two needed to discuss, however. Even more confusing is how it could possibly be related to Diavolo's clothing being tight.

"I'll be Barbatos just didn't wanna admit he messed up in front of ya," Mammon said at dinner that night. "Dude's obsessed with perfection, he just didn't want ya to think he was anythin' less than perfect."

Mammon squealed as Lucifer smacked him in the back of the head with a rolled up paper.

"There is a good enough reason why they needed to discuss matters without a human present, Mammon. It has little to do with perfection. It simply is not their business, or yours for that matter."

"Then you know what they're talking about?" You asked, knowing that Lucifer wouldn't tell you even if he did know. The frown that settled on his face was answer enough.

"Unfortunately," he replied, "Whatever this issue is it is one they've decided does not concern me. It is worth stating that Diavolo has been complaining about his clothing for some time now, at least a week. I'm surprised that it just now became an actual issue. Regardless, we all need to keep our noses out of royal Devildom business. Am I understood?"

You and all the brothers gave a quick nod. Lucifer smiled, and dinner continued. Despite everything, you couldn't shove the issue out of your head. In a way it was almost exciting to think about all the possibilities. Your mind raced with theories as you drifted off to sleep.

You returned to Diavolo's castle later the next day, only to be greeted by the towering demon dressed in a dragon onesie.

"What do you think?" he asked, turning around to show off the fine details, "I heard that humans dress in fun nightwear for events such as these, so I had Barbatos make this special. Is it nice?"

"I love it, Dia," you said with a smile, laughing at Diavolo's antics, "It suits you. Though, I see you more as a teddy bear than a dragon myself."

Diavolo smiled, and wrapped you in a massive hug.

Demons, on average, were already larger than humans. Even the relatively short Mammon and Asmodeus were still both slightly taller than you. Large demons like Beel and Diavolo, however, towered over you. You always considered yourself lucky that they were so kind, because you could only wonder how things would be if these two titans decided to use their size against you.

Diavolo's strong hand enveloped your own as he led you to his home theater like am excited child. He gleefully informed you of all the movies and snacks he had planned for the two of you as you both settled down into massive beanbags. Your seat didn't last long, however, as you were soon sitting comfortably in Diavolo's lap with his arms wrapped around you.

You both sat in quiet comfort watching some cheesy romcom when you felt something throb beneath you. You were taken aback- Diavolo wasn't the type to be...like that. Then you felt it again, realizing that Diavolo's legs appeared to be tensing up. Looking up to him, you noticed him wincing slightly. A small groan escaped his lips.

"Dia...? Everything ok?"

"Y-yeah. I...I think my legs are asleep is all. Let me just...urgh....stand up."

You rose from Diavolo's lap as he rose to unsteady legs. You couldn't help but feel like he looked slightly larger than before. It was subtle, but it was almost as if his onesie had begun to cling to him where it had once hung off of him.

Diavolo groaned again and nearly stumbled over as Barbatos entered the room with a new tray of food. Barbatos quickly placed the tray down and rushed to his master's side to hold him up.

"Is Dia ok, Barbatos? He seems out of it."

"The Master has simply been overworking himself recently, that's all. Exhaustion is beginning to get to him."

"No, Barbatos," Diavolo groaned, "It's finally coming, I just can't hold it back any longer. We need to be honest with them. They'll find out soon enough anyway."

"..Very well," Barbatos said, turning towards you. Diavolo sat back down as Barbatos began to speak.

"Lord Diavolo, as you are well aware, is lord of the Devildom. It is more than a title. You may consider it...something like a race. He is unlike the other demons you've met here. He is far more powerful, not simply because of his station but because he is naturally more inclined towards power. Part of his natural aging involves what you humans could almost consider a second puberty, a period of time when he finally fully matures and can be considered ready to take the crown of the Devildom for his own."

"What does...what does that actually involve?" you asked, watching Diavolo breathe heavily in his seat.

"You may have noticed the young Master tugging at his clothing recently. It's been a slow process thus far, but part of this evolution involves Lord Diavolo increasing drastically in physical size. This is no longer common knowledge, but Lord Diavolo's father was large enough to completely fill this room. Lord Diavolo will likely be that size when this process is completed, and based on what we are currently seeing, the process will be completed tonight."

"Wait, hold on! You're saying Dia is gonna completely fill this room tonight? Sure he's big, but he's nowhere close to being that big."

"It will cease being a slow process soon enough. Lord Diavolo is entering the final stage, and it will all happen relatively quickly. I recommend-"

Before Barbatos could finish, Diavolo let out a large groan. Both you and Barbatos' eyes snapped towards the demon prince as his entire body began to tremble and pulsate. The sound of tearing fabric began to fill the room as Diavolo's body began to push outwards in all directions. The onesie struggled to hold on as Diavolo's body began to tear through it, each muscle increasing in size and thickness. His feet were first to break free, tearing away Diavolo's slippers with his toes curling in seeming pain. His arms and legs followed, his swelling biceps and thighs tearing through the cloth like it was merely tissue paper. As each second passed, Diavolo's body grew larger and large with more and more muscle packing onto his steadily taller frame. His groans slowly became moans. The process was clearly no longer painful.

Sure enough, Diavolo's cock broke free of his pants and flopped about in front of him, throbbing half-erect. He breathed heavily as pre began to drip from the tip, the cock continuing to grow with his body. You felt your cheeks grow hot, embarrassed to watch the obscene display but finding yourself aroused by the process.

"L-love," Diavolo panted, his horns and wings erupting from his head and back, "p...please..."

You looked to Barbatos who was nowhere to be seen. With no one to tell you otherwise, you climbed Diavolo's powerful thighs and placed yourself atop his expanding lap. You wrapped your own legs around his cock, the entire thing reaching up to your chin, and began to stroke it gently with both hands. You carefully ran both hands over the tanned skin, feeling every muscle and tendon in the cock with care before steadily picking up the pace. The cock stood at attention, and Diavolo's entire body shuddered in response. Without thinking you placed your mouth around the tip as best as you could, and began licking. Diavolo moaned in ecstasy as the cock throbbed with newfound power in your mouth. You felt the pressure within slowly build until it erupted outwards. Unable to remove your head in time, a large amout of Diavolo's seed found its way into your mouth before you were thrown backwards from the force of the eruption. The cock continued to let loose powerful stream after stream of semen until the room was nearly completely covered in it. When the stream finally abated, you felt the massive body beneath you begin to relax.

You, however, were not finished. You rose from the cock and began to admire the rest of Diavolo's newly massive body. You ran each hand over his powerful new muscles, tracing every curve and line and taking the time to appreciate every individual muscle. Diavolo's body shuddered again as you reached his chest and rubbed each of nipples. A small moan escaped his lips. Eventually he seemed satisfied with your worship, and cupped you in a massive hand. Next thing you knew, you were sitting on his palm in front of his movie screen sized face, his golden eyes looking at you with adoration.

"Are you ok, my little love? I hope this all didn't come as too much of a shock to you."

You simply smiled, and brought your lips to his. The two of you exchanged the closest thing to a kiss you could, Diavolo's lips nearly engulfing your entire head. You pulled back and smiled at one another.

"I would like to apologize for ruining our sleep over, my love. And for...my unseemly behavior. Please do not think worse of me for it, and please know that even now I will never do anything to hurt you."

You knew. You'd known for nearly a year now that Diavolo would never harm you. If nothing else, tonight had simply shown you how much he truly cared for you. Life moving forward would be different for you both, but you never were one for doing things the normal way. You settled down in Diavolo's warm palm as something deep within your body began to shudder...

[battlinghurricanes]

DEIPHOBUS TIME!

I'm honestly not entirely sure how I got such a deeply involved concept for his character and motivations, but I definitely did. I just feel like he fits into an especially interesting place in everything and that there's a lot of great potential with him.

Shout out to @petalveinedwarrior for enabling me and also I'm very sorry for being incredibly long winded. My bad.

Also DISCLAIMER! I am NOT an expert on the Trojan War and all its surrounding mythology lol. This is just for fun, based on my own fairly limited knowledge of the myths (though I think I pretty much cover everything that’s relevant to this). These are just my headcanons woven with some details from various myths. Sorry if anything’s missing or inaccurate!

SO!

-

First and foremost, I headcanon Deiphobus as the oldest of Priam and Hecuba’s children after Hektor.

Hektor calls Deiphobus the dearest of his brothers, and to me, this is why. They are the closest in age and they were the closest growing up, best friends when they were young. They also get the closest to being on equal footing which means a lot to Hektor, who often feels distance between him and his other siblings because of being heir to Troy.

Despite the relatively equal ground and Deiphobus treating Hektor with a very casual familiarity, deep down, he idolizes him. Deiphobus adores and admires Hektor, ever a younger brother in how he looks up to his strength and intelligence and reliability but close enough in age to not feel the same envy as so many of their younger siblings.

Deiphobus is aware that he is next in line to inherit the throne of Troy after Hektor, and the possibility of that is more real to him than to the rest. He doesn’t envy or want the responsibilities Hektor has to bear being the first son and admires him for it rather than resenting him. He never wants the weight of Troy on his shoulders.

Additionally, as close as they are, Hektor confides more openly in Deiphobus than the rest of their siblings. Consequently, he has a more realistic idea of both the burden he bears and also the ways he struggles to manage it like any human would.

Deiphobus holds Hektor in the highest regard- he means the world to him. It is a strange and unique combination of relating to and understanding Hektor exactly as he is and then loving him so dearly for how remarkably he seems to do in all of it, all that Deiphobus adores and strives to be like.

Hektor calls Deiphobus the dearest of his brothers, but Deiphobus would never need to say the same of Hektor, that much has always been obvious.

Deiphobus himself is ferociously loyal, boastful and fiery proud, wild and energetic, and always quick to smile and laugh with a sharp sense of humor. He’ll defend his own with tooth and nail, Hektor first and foremost, and they make a well balanced pair. Hektor’s level headed sense of responsibility softens many of Deiphobus’s rough edges, and Deiphobus’s enthusiasm breaks through many of Hektor’s more anxiously formed reservations.

Deiphobus would do near anything for Hektor, to a concerning degree in the eyes of some, but Hektor, by his nature, isn't overly controlling. He doesn't want Deiphobus to change how he is. Mostly, the only place Hektor truly pushes him is on moral grounds, for better rather than for worse.

Deiphobus hates to spend time overthinking anything, which benefits him in some ways, but also frequently has him following the example of those around him without considering what might lean towards cruelty. Hektor never tolerates hurtful and needless rudeness or otherwise, and their friendship doesn’t spare Deiphobus his reprimands.

Hektor's needling, though, has him step back and reexamine his actions and the second look is generally what he needs to correct his missteps. Admittedly, he’ll sometimes act better in some way solely to please Hektor, but far more often than not, he’ll come to recognize why it’s best with time and continue that way from his own compulsion.

(He grows and his conscience sounds irritatingly like Hektor.)

Deiphobus is actually one of the best of his siblings at not holding a grudge. He might for drama or humor’s sake, but once a squabble is past, he’ll easily set it aside in favor of having fun with whoever he fought with.

Regardless of his flaws, Deiphobus is amiable and of the opinion that it’s never worth passing up a good time over some pettiness. He’s never one to ignore the value of little joys, no matter how fleeting they are.

Before the war, when he is still younger, there is Antheus. He’s the pretty son of Antenor, and both Deiphobus and Paris are quite taken with him. Paris’s involvement rubs him the wrong way, but he elects to ignore it as best he can. It doesn’t sit right to consider policing Antheus’s actions. He can hardly demand he stop seeing Paris while still insisting on his company, after all.

Besides, he can’t really complain. Antheus favors him with his presence often, laughing at his jokes, stealing off his plate when they share meals, tumbling with him when they wrestle. And when Antheus lifts his hand to idly toy with his lower lip as he smiles slyly at him, Paris is the last thing on Deiphobus’s mind.

Hektor teases him sometimes when he turns up ruffled from some exchange turned overzealous, but his flustered frustration pales in comparison to his excitement, so Hektor gets away with it. Oh, he loves Antheus and the feeling is so heady, better than the most potent wine.

Then it all shatters when some men rush into the palace with Antheus’s limp body carried between them. He was in the gymnasium with Paris, they learn. One throw from Paris with a warped discus and Antheus was gone. Deiphobus stares at the blood soaked in his lovely hair.

Deiphobus is ready to rip Paris apart, but when his brother is guided in after, there’s just no room for it. He’s in complete hysterics, shaking all over as he hyperventilates, and screaming would have gotten through to him no more than their family’s vain attempts to calm him down.

Paris is inconsolable afterwards. He retreats in on himself, though without any attempt to defend himself, first to give himself the blame. He makes for a pitiful sight, and at first, Deiphobus can’t stand being in his presence at all, to take his anger and grief out on him or otherwise.

It doesn’t take that long for Deiphobus’s anger to grow more painful than cathartic anyway and, well, it is hard to lash out at someone acting exactly how he feels. He feels the same heartbreak and pain he sees in Paris and he can’t find it in himself to rage against him when he’d rather just sit and cry himself.

Paris does take it upon himself to face Deiphobus after a time and claim responsibility for what happened that day. Deiphobus doesn’t forgive him, doing that feels... off, but he manages to convey that he won’t turn on him for the accident with Antheus. He thinks that might make Paris feel better but he can’t truly tell.

It all still hurts then, even as they try to get things to settle. Nothing but more time can do anything more to heal those wounds.

And time passes and then Paris returns from Sparta with Helen, and, well.

The brewing war doesn’t drive a rift between Deiphobus and Hektor, but it does force a new distance between them. The pressure on Hektor spikes and never eases, and the time he has to spare becomes exceedingly rare.

Much of the time the two would have spent for themselves together now shifts to working together to manage the complications that come with this new conflict; Deiphobus has new responsibilities to shoulder himself. More work, less play, but the mutual affection and respect between them remains just as strong as before.

Deiphobus can’t help but feel a certain bitterness over having the casual companionship of his brother taken away from him, but he does all he can to set it aside. He refuses to let it be another source of stress for Hektor, so often too caring for his own good, and he doesn’t hold it against him anyway.

As always, Deiphobus remains aware that these tasks could easily have been his and, privately, he feels woefully inadequate in the face of that possibility. And truly, it just serves to make Hektor even greater in his eyes, handling it all with grace he can’t imagine. He knows he’s not perfect, yet still, it’s hard to imagine that anything could ever truly bring Hektor down.

And so, Deiphobus helps his brother in the ways he can and loves him as ever, always ready and eager to fight at his side.

Deiphobus leads a contingent himself, and does it well. It comes easier to him to manage a smaller group like that. He does as directed and guides his men through the fighting. One can say what they will about his ability to lead, but his capability as a warrior is undeniable.

Things shift between Deiphobus and Paris as well. Much of Troy turns on Paris, some faster than others. Deiphobus ignores the greater dramatics which, in his opinion, help nothing. Still, it is often tempting to berate him for his flippant disregard of the battles so he does, which is, admittedly, not entirely unwarranted.

However, Deiphobus and Paris share a mutual, unspoken understanding that they simply cannot focus on the war at all times. Sometimes it must be set aside. This is more often true to Paris than to Deiphobus, but that invites Deiphobus to keep Paris’s company when he can no longer bear all the stress.

In turn, when Deiphobus approaches him like that, Paris can trust not to be reprimanded as he so often is, as that gets ignored along with the rest of it. So there are times during the war where the two can be found together affably, chatting about nothing important. Their personalities can still mesh in such moments.

And, well, it’s shocking how steady things can stay over nine years of war, but they do. Death and loss become far too familiar companions, but they can do nothing but keep fighting through that, and things proceed much as they have been.

Until, of course, Achilles.

With all the cruelty of fate, it of course follows after they get the closest to driving away the Achaeans as they ever have. Such a brief, amazing hope. In his unmatched fury, Achilles slaughters their soldiers, butchers many of his brothers, escapes Scamander’s rage through the grace of the gods, and drives the army behind Troy’s wall with his advance, except for-

Then-

Hektor is dead.

Deiphobus tastes blood in his throat screaming at the sight behind the chariot.

In a way, it’s a blessing that it takes twelve days to get Hektor’s body and another twelve to bury it. With his death, command of Troy and her allies has passed to Deiphobus, and he could barely lead his own horse after losing Hektor, much less an army.

Deiphobus falls to pieces. He can barely process it, losing the one he held in the highest regard, held every confidence in, believed in to his core. Hektor was the best of all of them and now he’s dead, leaving him shattered. Deiphobus is hysterical, wildly heartbroken.

In this time is when Priam first turns on his remaining sons. He lashes out at them as he prepares to ransom Hektor’s corpse, degrading them as the most worthless of his sons. Still half blind with tears of grief he can’t hold back, he thinks that it’s true in the same moment he thinks of how he will now have to take Hektor’s place, worthless ruin though he is.

Most often, Priam refrains from speaking of his remaining sons after that, and in rare, fleeting heartbeats he almost seems contrite over cursing them. Neither is enough though to keep him from savagely reproaching them in unpredictable instances as Troy continues to spiral towards its doom. Deiphobus shakily chokes down his father’s abuse without a word.

Of course, he returns to the battlefield once Hektor is buried, coming to truly learn the crushing weight of his new role. How did his brother bear this? Every day feels like one failure after another; he’s not strong enough, not smart enough to do this. He tries anyway, each day more taxing than the last.

Deiphobus can hardly bear Paris after Hektor’s death. A large part of him hates him for it, desperate to pin the blame on someone despite knowing deep down that he’s not responsible. Though, even then, part of him is drawn to Paris, broken same as him, shaped by a sort of desperation to grieve for their brother with him. Misery loves company.

His anger burns hotter, but now he can’t bring himself to berate him even in the way he did sometimes before all this. He never confronts him with his hatred, such that it is. He simply avoids Paris entirely, knowing that if he indulges in the impulse to curse him for what happened to Hektor, he would fall apart at the seams.

Even now he can’t face the truth of what happened and keep going. It is all he can do to try never to think about it.

And then, with the aid of Lord Apollo, Paris kills Achilles.

The undecided limbo of Deiphobus’s feelings towards Paris topples into something like affection the moment he hears of it, connecting them once more. Paris has destroyed Hektor’s murderer, avenging him, and that matters to Deiphobus more than anything else.

That night, the two of them drink together until it half kills them, close enough to keep knocking shoulders as they revile Achilles with the worst profanities they know. It’s the only celebration they can muster after everything, but they’re both laughing for the first time since they lost him.

(When the night grows damnably late, Deiphobus’s attempt to laugh turns into retching and Paris collapses to the ground when he tries to get up to help. They suffer the agonizing morning together.)

They make a strange pair from then on. Friendship would be a generous word given the still unavoidable tension between them, but they somehow manage to maneuver around that and share a certain closeness. They maintain it despite differences that grind against each other. Sad as it is, it’s one of the only things either of them have left.

Paris and Deiphobus also weather Priam’s spontaneous tirades together. Usually wordlessly, but there is something to be said for the company of someone enduring the same pain you are. It is a quiet solidarity, but a significant one.

They talk of the war far more often now. Every day it devours more and more of their lives, always harder and harder to ignore or set aside. On rare occasions, they do still manage it. Those conversations make for a breath of fresh air, though that does little to stave off the feeling of drowning.

And then Paris takes a poisoned arrow and dies.

Deiphobus doesn’t wail and sob in the same way he did for Hektor. He’s too numb for it now. It hurts in an unnatural, distant sort of way. All he can muster is a ugly, stilted feeling of shame for letting himself come to care for him in the first place. Of course he would die like the rest, he should know this by now. He crumbles further.

After Paris’s loss, there's only two reasonable options for what to do with Helen. Either they need to return her to Menelaus or arrange a new marriage and keep her in Troy.

Helen pleads to be returned to her first husband but Deiphobus competes with Helenus to be the one who weds her. Troy does not stop them. There is a quiet but tangible tension to the city and he doesn’t think their people would tolerate Helen departing. He competes with everything he has left and he wins. And they marry.

That first night, Helen stares at his back while sitting in her new place on his bed. She expected to be treated like a piece of meat, a feeling she's grown well used to through living her life under the eyes of men, but he's barely even looking at her. He fought for her hand with an undeniable, feral sort of desperation. What was it for if he doesn't even want her?

"Why?" she asks him. "Why bother going through every effort to marry me only to be so cold now? What do you want?" Her voice would cut razor sharp if only she wasn't so tired.

He turns to face her with bloodshot eyes narrowed in a glare, riddled with barely restrained anger and grief. "I'm not letting you leave," he forces out and Helen pushes down the urge to scoff because that much is obvious.

"It has to be worth something," he continues. "There has to be something we fought for. If we just let you go back, then it won't have been worth jack shit." He paces, not looking at her again. "I won't allow that. Don't think you can avoid all this so easily now that Paris is gone. There has to be a point. My brother is dead because of this shit! If you're gone, then what would be the fucking point?!"

His brother. He means Hektor. He means Paris. He means every last one of them, so many dead. He means Hektor.

Helen doesn't reply. There is nothing she can say to that. For all that it doesn't make a difference, what he's laid before her is something she knows well. She's spent so long now berating herself and blaming herself for all that's come to pass and she understands. She hates this, all she wants is to go home, but she understands him.

She knows that they both hate each other and themselves all in equal measure. What a wretched pair they make, Helen thinks.

Not that they make much of a pair at all. They're rarely ever together. Deiphobus camps outside whenever he can, and when he can’t, he goes out of his way to avoid her. Helen accepts it as the best she can expect from the truly miserable situation this has become. The war drags on, but the truth hangs in the air that Troy is losing.

Then the horse.

The people, starving so desperately for peace, bring it inside the walls. Deiphobus tries to be cautious. He tries to think of what Hektor would have done. He commands Helen to walk around the horse, calling out in the voices of the Achaeans' wives. If there's some wretched spy or invader, let them show themselves. He'll kill them.

No one answers. Deep down just as desperate for peace as them all, he breathes a sigh of relief and leaves the damn horse.

He hopes the Achaeans filled their mouths with blood, biting their tongues as hard as they must have.

Troy is burning. The Achaeans fill the streets with slaughter; they are everywhere. Reunited with her husband after so, so long, Helen tells Menelaus where Deiphobus is. And so, Deiphobus dies alongside Troy.

(Deiphobus and Hektor meet again in the Underworld and Deiphobus tries to apologize for his failure to keep Troy safe. Hektor will hear none of it, refusing any of the anger he has every right to put on him. Still, a long time passes where Deiphobus silently and anxiously wonders if that was a lie, if Hektor truly does hate him for what happened.

Hektor keeps throwing him tense, unsettled glances sometimes when he thinks he’s not looking, even though he never says a thing. Each one worms further and further underneath his skin and he starts to squirm under the conviction that he’s done something wrong. Something Hektor holds against him.

When it finally grows so unbearable that Deiphobus confronts him about it at last, Hektor flinches and doesn’t disguise his fear and upset. Deiphobus braces himself. But then, mangled in with confusing, ashamed apologies, Hektor recounts for the first time how he died.

Athena luring him to his death in Deiphobus’s shape, speaking in his voice. How he turned to face Achilles believing he had support. When he called for a spear from his brother, he was alone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I think of it at all, I’m so sorry I let you believe I was angry with you because of it. I’m not, it had nothing to do with you, you shouldn’t have to know of it at all. I just- remember it sometimes. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Deiphobus feels nauseous. Hektor looks even more so.

“If I had actually been there-”

“No! Don’t do this. Achilles would have just killed you too.”

“We wouldn’t have died alone, then.”

They clutch at each other, these battered remnants of their souls, carrying with them the wounds of their lives.)