#the comms are not only for sky kids btw!

[nedeii]

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[lloydskywalkers]

good or bad, hard to say

Round two of @ninjago-angst-week , this one’s for Jay, I’m so sorry my kid. The prompt for today is “Lost”, and there’s a lot you can do with that but I was thinking the other day about that one post that pointed out how Jay is the only one of the ninja who’s never really “died” per say and then my brain just. Ran with it. 

(this kinda jumps all over the place but it mainly takes place during the s8 finale and that episode of s10 btw)

Jay thinks he might be the luckiest person in Ninjago.

Like – not really lucky, because his entire life is one big roller coaster of wild ups and downs and constantly getting his home blown up and honestly it’s a miracle they aren’t all homeless and broke and several limbs down, but like – he’s still pretty lucky. If you use perspective, and all that.

That’s not to say that Jay’s lottery-lucky, or anything of the like. He’s – he’s Jay-lucky, if that’s a thing, and if it isn’t he’s gonna make it one, because there needs to be a term. There needs to be a term for Jay’s very specific brand of lucky, because honestly, it’s not really luck at all.

It’s hard to feel lucky when you’re terrified of how lucky you are.

__ __ __ __

See it’s – it’s like this, Jay thinks. His luck.

The most obvious example — parents. Jay lost his, yeah – Cliff and Libber, his mom and dad and isn’t that wild – he lost them before he ever got the chance to know them. And even in that, he’s still lucky. He’s lucky because he’s never gonna feel the same aching hunger Cole does when Edna kisses his forehead, or the awful twist in Lloyd’s smile whenever fathers come up – and on that note, the edge in Zane’s eyes when fathers come up – or the muddled confused mess of abandonment and not-really-abandonment-but-the-hurt’s-still-there that Kai and Nya are stuck with.

No, Jay gets Ed and Edna, continues to get Ed and Edna, and there’s a pretty big part of him that lives in waking terror for fear of losing them, because their team’s got a terrible track record with that, but – he gets a mom and dad with no strings attached. He gets love and support and maybe his childhood wasn’t spectacular, or anything, but he got two parents who loved him and really, what else could he ask for?

But the thing about having something is that you now have something to lose. This isn’t really a big deal, of course, until people start trying to use his mom and dad against him and then—

Well. Jay thinks he understands how angry Kai gets sometimes.

But he also gets scared. Jabbermouth, big chicken Walker, that’s him. Constantly jittery and constantly on-edge and constantly annoying and yeah, Jay gets it! He gets it. But he just doesn’t think—

Jay gets it. But everyone else doesn’t.

__ __ __ __

To be fair, he thinks, how could they get it.  

They don’t remember what it’s like—

Jay swallows. To be fair. He isn’t the only one terrified right now. Kai is white-knuckled where he grips the edge of the table, dried blood still on his hands where he tore them up on the rope getting down to Lloyd. Nya isn’t much better, her eyes a wildfire and a hurricane all at once, frightened and raging and desperate for a solution, for a cure, for a miracle. Cole is tight-lipped and ashen-faced and Zane’s mask of calm looks seconds from fracturing.

They’re all terrified, he wants to yell at Mystake as she chides them for impatience. Can’t she see – their brother is dying. They’re going to lose him, and Jay knows what it’s like to lose, and he’s only got so much luck here so why can’t she just—

Jay doesn’t say any of that. He doesn’t say much of anything, because he’s too scared that if he starts talking now he’ll never stop, an endless waterfall of terrified chatter will pour out from his mouth as if he can talk the problem away and won’t that just make everything so much better—

Jay doesn’t say much. But he listens.

Jay stares at his little brother writhing in pain on the table and hears Nya’s voice in his head telling him to make a last wish.

__ __ __ __

And there’s the thing, Jay thinks. They don’t get it because they just don’t know. Not like he does.

They don’t remember. That’s not to say they forget, but they don’t — it’s not present in their head like it always is Jay’s, he thinks. They walk into battle like they’re fearless, like they’re invincible, and Jay knows that they’re not.

Jay is scared, but Jay is scared because he remembers what it’s like to stare at the erupting Fire Temple and think they just lost Kai. He remembers every single emotion in Zane’s voice before he blew sky high in the Overlord’s hold. He remembers every last night he stayed up crying because his brother was dead, and how much it hurt when that ripped the team apart. He remembers how badly his hands shook as he tried to fight back against Morro and couldn’t because that’s Lloyd, that’s their brother he’s hitting, and what if he hits too hard—?

He remembers the sharp drop and falling sensation when he looked behind him and didn’t see Cole coming out of Yang’s temple. He remembers forgetting about Cole then remembering he forgot about Cole then thinking Cole was gone forever.

He remembers Nya’s voice telling him to make a last wish.

So the others – they’re brave, they’re so brave. And really, it sounds great and all, “whatever it takes” and fighting ‘til the end and nobly risking their lives and all that, and yeah, Jay isn’t saying he wouldn’t die for any of his family on the spot, but—

They’re willing to do whatever it takes to win, because winning is the only option for them. They don’t know what it’s like to lose, to really lose.

But Jay—

Jay knows what it’s like to lose. He knows what it’s like to win and still lose, because a win without everyone isn’t a win after all, it can’t be a win, not when they’re left wounded and mourning and Nya saying goodbye in his arms—

But Jay. Jay is lucky, and Lloyd’s breathing eases out and his eyelids flutter and his fever goes down. Jay is so very lucky, because instead of dying with the others as the Bounty’s crushed, they get bailed out last second by tea and Jay gets to keep his family again. Sure, they’re stranded in another realm and that sucks and Jay might be losing what’s left of his mind here, but – still. He’s so very, very lucky.

He reminds himself of that as Kai leaps fearlessly onto the Colossi’s back when they return to Ninjago, as if he had never been in any danger of being crushed by it before. He reminds himself of it even as his stomach twists and his palms go sweaty and Wu’s panicked cry of Lloyd! echoes over their comms.  

Jay reminds himself and Nya’s voice is still telling him to make that last wish.

__ __ __ __

Jay is lucky. Jay is so very, very lucky, because when Nya flips the lever wrong and the engines reverse, he’s just barely not in the path of the blast. He’s lucky because his part of the ladder holds strong, his hands don’t slip, and Jay’s never in any danger at all.

But—

Jay is lucky, but he’s Jay-lucky. Jay-lucky isn’t happy-lucky. Jay-lucky is constantly worried about losing, constantly worried about winning and still losing, constantly wondering how you made it out and they didn’t, and constantly wishing you could’ve swapped places.

Cole can’t be dead, he tells himself. Because Jay might not be easy-lucky but he’s never been unlucky enough to lose everyone forever. It hurts and it sucks and he mourns for a bit maybe but he always — he always — he got Nya back so—

Kai is crying and trying not to, all stifled and ugly. Zane is barely holding them together and he hasn’t even looked at Nya’s expression yet because he knows that kind of guilt, it hurts, and he’s too scared to — have it be real yet, because it’s not. Cole can’t be gone, Jay can’t have lost him again. Cole’s always doing that — throwing himself in danger’s way for them, for Jay — throwing him the Jade Blade, pushing him from harm’s way in Yang’s Temple, hugging him tightest when he’s warm and strong and solid again even though Jay was a big fat idiot who forgot—

Cole can’t. He just can’t.

Cole’s eyes, frightened and terrified, are frozen in Jay’s head and he just wants his best friend back.

Another thing about Jay is that he’s kind of smart sometimes. He knows things, things about gravity and falling and impact, and he knows that the Oni don’t save people.

He wishes he wasn’t.

Jay’s smart, and he remembers the wish he made. He remembers where he sent the teapot, and he bets — he’s smart, he’s lucky, he could find it. It’d risk Nadakhan but if it’s a risk for Cole then—

But Jay is smart, and he knows how that will end.

He wishes he didn’t.

Maybe Jay isn’t lucky after all, he thinks, staring hollowly over the deck of the Bounty where the dark fog swirls below, the knowledge that Cole’s left alone — dead — eating at his heart and screaming in his mind because he can’t get his voice to work quite yet.

Maybe he’s cursed. There needs to be someone left to mourn the lost. Jay knows that.

He just wishes it wasn’t always him.

[mactuna]

ђคгɭєץ ợยєєภ

↠ summary: jisol isn’t the only who got run over by the gossip train... and in the process, she learned a lot more than she was ever supposed to... (lmao this is such a trashy summary!!)

↠ idea: jungkook x oc!! bts mafia au!! kpop universe!!]

↠ part 1 [] part 2 [] part 3 [] part 4?

“I’ll bring you your stuff later, ok sis? Just please don’t trip on yourself if you see Han Jisung. Please.”

“For the last time! I DON’T LIKE HIM!”

“Sure sis… you definitely don’t have a sketchbook of drawings of him.”

“You can stop talking now!”

The two had arrived at Jeongmi’s new room, because college dorms were way too expensive. And lucky for her, there was a Min Jisol who was looking for a roommate.

“I’ll bring your stuff around later, ok?”

“Ok… bye!”

But in his defense, Jungkook believed he had the right to be worried about his little sister. Because he was pretty darn sure he knew exactly how her roommate was: the infamous Min Jisol of Daegu Town High School. She was the girl that everyone warned you about. It was obvious she smoked because she always coughed as if she had smoker’s lung and could literally collapse at any given moment. And Jesus Christ, she always smelled like goddamn alcohol! She always seemed as if she had tried to get the stank of alcohol off, but in the end she miserably failed and the smell basically radiated off of her. But of course, can’t forget that she was always late and skipping class. The problem? She never got in trouble for it. To top it all off, she graduated as valedictorian. Combined with her popularity amongst the boys for her looks, it was no surprise when the gossip train tooted about Jisol sleeping around with the administration to get straight A’s. Hence, she was basically the queen of the school in all aspects. Despite all the obvious warning signs, people loved her. Earning her the nickname, Harley Queen.

But Jungkook was barely any better and he knew it. His reputation wasn’t exactly spotless since he hit high school. Puberty had treated him very kindly, earning the attention from all the girls within the school district. Especially at sport competitions. And every so often, a girl would ask to speak to him somewhere quiet. Alone. Like a lost lamb, he would follow. He never did anything, didn’t even touch them, yet the gossip train tooted that Jungkook had a knack for quickies and breaking the girls’ hearts once he was done with them. Because of this one fact, Jungkook had begrudgingly agreed to let Jeongmi room with Jisol. Maybe she was just another victim of the gossip train, just like him.  Or maybe it was just his grudge against her for… a number of reasons.

“Ok… bye Jungkook!”

“I’ll bring your stuff up in like, two hours ok?”

“Uh-huh. Goodbye!”

Obviously, Jeongmi was super embarrassed that her brother was basically dropping her off at her first apartment. And she didn’t want to make a bad first impression, so she did everything in her power to shoo him away. But as soon as the door opened, Jeongmi was shocked by the girl’s beauty in front of her. All of her doubts disappeared into thin air and she found herself bowing awkwardly.

“Hello, my name is Jeongmi. It’s really nice to meet you!”

But Jisol was already busting a lung with laughter.

“You are so cute!! But anyway, you don’t have to act so formal around me. We’re roommates now Jeongmi. As you probably know, my name’s Jisol and welcome to the apartment!”

Despite having only met once or twice, Jeongmi already felt the bond forming between them.

“Do you need any help bringing your stuff up or anything?”

“Actually, my brother is bringing up my stuff in a couple of hours.”

“Girl, that’s honestly sibling goals. My brother would tell me to suck it up and be independent like all the girls in the world preach about.”

But now, Jeongmi was confused as hell. How in the world did Jisol have such awful rumors circulating about her? She was honestly one of the sweetest, most wholesome Jeongmi had ever met. But for Jisol? She was just over the moon that there was someone who was willing to give her a clean slate and actually get to know her. Not try to kiss up to her just so she could be referred to one of the guys. The reason everyone thought she was a slut was that most of her friends were guys. Mostly because the other girls at school were entirely too judgemental. And super bitchy.

“Feel free to explore, Jeongmi. Lol, you don’t have to be so nervous. You kinda live her now?”

And Jeongmi was like, why the hell does it literally smell like freaking daisies? Smoker’s lung, my foot! There wasn’t even the slightest whiff of smoke or alcohol anywhere. That’s when the knock came faintly. Which Jeongmi barely heard.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook, Jeongmi’s older brother. I came to drop off her stuff?”

Already, Jungkook was gaining attention from the neighbors. Mostly because the apartment was a hot spot for college kids who couldn’t afford or didn’t want to live in a dorm.

“Unnie, do you mind if he comes inside? Because there are literally people crowding the hallway just to stare at him. And it’s kinda gross?”

“Yeah, of course! Come on in.”

See, Jeongmi was totally clueless to the history between Jungkook and Jisol. They had been rivals at everything, all the way up until high school. But that was a different story. Sighing, Jisol let him in, promising herself to be civil for Jeongmi’s sake, if not hers.

As for Jungkook, he was surprised to see the two three-star black belts hanging in the open closet and the sheer amount of beat-up medical textbooks on the kitchen table.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“Uh, no. I’m good actually. But thanks.”

And he was 100% surprised at how well Jisol was keeping her cool. Taking the heavy box from him, Jisol gave Jungkook a tight smile.

“I  can help Jeongmi unpack if you have somewhere you need to be.”

But Jisol knew that look in his eyes all too well. There was no way this could be the apartment of the Harley Queen, right? There was no way that the Queen would actually be reading and studying to get good grades, right? She had to be hiding the booze somewhere, right? The drugs? The weed? The cigarette packs? And Jungkook understood the tone of dismissal in her voice all too well.

“Then I’ll be going then. Bye, Mi!”

But as Jungkook made his way down to his car, he couldn’t but think of the little collage of Jisol’s baby pictures on the wall. One of them was of the two of them holding hands as they crossed the street. Groaning out loud, Jungkook looked towards the sky.

“STOP BEING IN MY LIFE MIN JISOL!!!!!”

Why was his life so intertwined with Jisol’s?!! On top of already being entangled with every aspect of his life, why was she his ex-girlfriend from preschool too?!! He thought he’d erased his memory of her a long time ago!!

When Jungkook got back to the house, he wasn’t surprised to find Yoongi watching TV on the couch.

“So… how did it go?”

“I mean, Jeongmi seems to really like her, so I guess that’s all that matters.”

Shaking his head, Yoongi sat up straight.

“But I asked what your thoughts on Jisol are?”

“She’s… a lot different from what I expected.”

“How so?”

“She seems a lot more… put together than everyone takes her for. There’s not a single trace of cologne, smoke, drugs, or alcohol in there. I honestly have no idea how the hell these rumors formed about her. She seems really nice.”

“Well… she has changed a lot since high school ended. Plus, the rumors are mostly my fault. But I thought you were-”

“What are you talking about, hyung?”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Jungkook. However, this story isn’t entirely mine to tell, so it’d be a tad unfair if she weren’t here to explain the entirety of the situation.”

“But-”

“No.”

Grumbling, Jungkook made his way to the shower. He knew where he stood among the seven guys as the youngest: at the top. But when it came to Yoongi? That was all null and void.

“YAH JUNGKOOK-AH! JOONIE HAS A MISSION FOR YOU, JIMIN, AND TAE!!”

Jin yelled through the door, banging on it to disrupt the peace of the hot, running water.

“Ok hyung! I’ll be out soon! BUT YOU BREAK THAT DOOR I SWEAR-”

“BYE!”

But why was Tae coming on this mission? That almost never happened. He was the one who usually stayed back to work the comms and get all the inside info that was necessary to send to whoever was out in the field. But if he was coming, Joon-hyung’s mission for them had to be insanely top priority if Tae was coming out to play. 10 minutes later, the boys were seated on the floor in front of Joon.

“Does everyone here know Song Yuri?”

“Yeah. We’re all in the same biology class.”

“Well we just found out from our spy that Yuri is actually the heiress of the Ahn Empire in Daegu.”

“Wait… aren’t they the ones-”

“Who created a memory implanter and have passed down some secret through generations, using it?!!”

“Yes, that one. And if everyone else knows, then everyone is going to be gunning for her. She’s dating one of the NCT boys so we have to be careful. From what we know, she’s close with all of the NCT boys so we have to be careful. The reason I chose you three is because you have a subconscious memory of Yuri’s behavioral patterns So please bring her back alive. Got that?”

“Yes hyung.”

“Good. We’ve also got word that it’s one of the Dreamies’ birthdays today so they’ll be vulnerable. I will take the other hyungs to take them out, ok?”

“Ok hyung. See you later!”

________________________________________________________________

A/N: OKAY YAY PART 1 IS DONE OF THE BLOOD UNIVERSE SERIES!! lmao idek if i actually want to turn all the “books” of this series into the same universe but we’ll see:) btw i literally just fangirled so hard in the car when dream glow came on LOL!

↠ part 1 [] part 2 [] part 3 [] part 4?