#the color matching technology feels like witchcraft to me

[broomsick]

What daily things do you find your gods in? For example, finding Freyr in the sound of a bird's song or Loki in the flames of a fire. It'd be cool to see a list of your associations for them. c:

Personal day-to-day associations with the Gods

Óðinn: the traditional Scandinavian music I listen to, reading books, hearing or telling stories, darkness in general (like after having closed all the lights in the house), red wine and strong alcohols such as spirits, local woodland berries such as currants, gooseberries, blackcurrant (etc). 

Yngvi-Freyr: cooking/baking (especially traditional food), windy days, hikes in the woods, fall colors, sunsets, road trips, picking flowers, light rain, gardening, the countryside, cold tea, the moment when spring becomes summer.

Thórr: doing manual work, beer, dusk, taking well deserved breaks from work, cloudy days, evergreen trees, disconnecting from technology and reconnecting with the open air, eating or cooking red meats, weather events ranging from light snow to strong rains, singing at the top of my lungs, joking around with friends, going to the bar after a hard week’s work, celebrations in general.

Freyja: showering and taking baths, perfumes and anything fragrant, eating fruit, doing a skincare routine or buying a new skincare product, collecting fallen tree leaves, visiting a pagan shop, practicing magic, warm colors and especially red, petting cats, having funny exchanges with friends and sharing current concerns with them. 

Frigg: learning traditional crafts, attending local events, speaking with elders, enjoying a moment of harmony with family, feeling at home, cooking or baking, browsing through farmers’ markets, telling a loved one I love them, doing nostalgic stuff to reconnect with my childhood (such as watching children’s movies!) and doing divination, especially tarot.

Baldr: the color blue, cloudless skies, very cold days, whenever I see springs or waterfalls (which doesn’t happen that often but still!), seeing children play, birds’ song, listening to soft music such as flute, harp or lyre, whenever I willfully build up self confidence (I always feel like He’s the one encouraging me).

Loki: listening to classic rock or power metal, starting bonfires or woodstoves, fire in general like playing around with a lighter or matches, playing pranks, making spontaneous decisions, puzzles and riddles, masks though I’m not certain why.

Týr: seeing fur garments such as fur coats or winter clothing, traveling by boat, camping in thick and isolated woods, browsing through medieval shops, wolf imagery, cuddling up by a fire after a cold day spent outside, whenever a battle scene comes up in a movie or show, celtic music but I’m not sure why I make that association honestly!

Hel: gothic-style clothes, incense, skull imagery, practicing magic and divination, spirit work, ancestor work, visiting loved one’s graves and leaving flowers, graveyards in general (especially those in small villages), learning about different spiritualities and the way they each envision the afterlife.

Heimdallr: caring for animals, spending alone time outside, climbing trees or rocks, high places in general, reading through the Völuspá, making the effort to listen instead of speak, making a kind gesture randomly, helping people in general.

Skaði: hiking in the mountains, stays at cabins, exploring woods, staying at very unpopulated areas, evergreen trees and especially spruce, watching snowstorms, meditation, hearing/reading mythological stories, winter comfort foods such as soups and meats, stargazing.

Eir: herbalism, learning about local plants and trees, brewing potions, caring for a sick loved one, kitchen witchcraft, and something we call “grandma recipes” over here, that consist of dubiously scientific medicine (lying on your left side to heal an upset stomach quicker, using potato peels against warts, etc). I’d have to make a whole post to list those out. These types of medicine tricks that seem mysteriously effective ahaha!

These are only a few of my deities, but they’re the ones I feel closest to these days.

[samwisethewitch]

dorm friendly magick for broom-closeted student witches

Got roommates that aren’t into witchcraft/magick? Can’t burn incense in your dorm room? Don’t have time for elaborate rituals between studying for exams and writing papers? I’ve been there. Here are some of my favorite undercover spells and rituals for witches living that college life. 

Journal Magick

Keep a manifestation journal! Find a journal that really speaks to you and makes you feel good every time you open it, whether it’s a bulky leatherbound tome or has a holographic cover and hot pink pages -- what matters is that you feel a connection to it. 

Every morning, write down the things you want to manifest in your journal in the present tense, as if they had already happened. [Note: this works better if you are writing the same thing every day for at least a few weeks. Consistent intent is key!] 

For more information on this type of manifestation, just search “scripting” on YouTube and you’ll find approximately 642934 videos on the subject. 

This is a really great technique for closet witches, because no one is going to be suspicious of you writing in a notebook -- plus, it’s normal for people to want to keep their journals private.

Work with correspondences just like you would for a normal spell! You can print out photos of herbs, crystals, tarot cards, astrological signs, or moon phases that correspond to your intention and glue them into your journal (or draw them, if you have artistic talent). You could even get an essential oil that matches your intention and dab a drop of it on the page. You’re essentially creating an altar dedicated to your intention, just on paper instead of in a physical altar space.

Tap into the magick of color by writing your intentions with a pen in a corresponding color (green = abundance/wealth, pink = love and friendship, yellow = academic success, etc.).

Tea and Coffee Magick

Tea and coffee are already essentially potions, and no one is going to think twice about a college student drinking a lot of coffee/tea. 

Coffee is associated with grounding and protection, and it adds energy to any spell it is added to. Black tea is associated with protection, courage, and abundance. Green and white tea have their own, slightly different magickal uses. Based on these correspondences, you can use coffee and tea as a base for undercover potions!

For mental clarity and memory retention, brew a mixture of black coffee, lion’s mane, chaga, and ginger. For a caffeine-free alternative, brew an herbal tea with rosemary and peppermint. 

To cleanse negative energy and release stress, brew a mixture of black coffee, Ashwagandha, cinnamon, tulsi or basil, and Eleuthero. This is based on a Four Sigmatic blend, lmao.

For a sneaky prosperity spell, brew a mixture of black coffee, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and vanilla. Yes, that is essentially pumpkin pie spice, and yes, you can use a pre-mixed pumpkin pie blend instead of buying the individual spices.

I could go on, but you get the idea. You can customize your morning beverage to suit any magickal or spiritual need. 

Most plants have medicinal uses that are the same or similar to their magickal uses. So if anyone asks, tell them you’re adding these extra herbs for their nutritional and/or medicinal value. 

You can also charge your tea or coffee with crystals. Just set a small crystal associated with your intention (amethyst for mental clarity, black tourmaline for protection, citrine for prosperity, etc.) next to the mug for a few minutes, or place it on top of your coffee maker. Be sure to charge both the crystal and the drink with your intention!

Candle Magick

If your dorm lets you have candles then congrats, because candle spells are both super powerful and a super easy way to hide your magick in plain sight.

Find a candle in a scent and color that match your intention. For example, you could use a pink, rose-scented candle for a love spell. 

You can find custom spell candles made by witches for witches on Amazon and Etsy, and these have the added bonus of having been specifically created for magickal use. Some of the businesses I’ve personally had good experiences with are Art of the Root (available on Amazon), Esoteric Arts (available on Etsy), and Crystal Journey (Amazon). 

That being said, I’ve gotten good results with $1.99 scented candles from Walmart, so please don’t feel like you need to spend a fortune on special candles for your spell to be successful.

In a pinch, an unscented white candle can be used for any intention. You can get these at the dollar store, and it’s never a bad idea to have a few on hand.

Oil Magick

Your dorm has a no-open-flames rule, so candles and incense are out of the question. No problem -- you can get similar results with essential oils. 

An essential oil literally contains the concentrated essence of a plant. Magickally speaking, this makes them a powerful way to add some oomph to your spells. They’re also commonly used for aromatherapy, so your roommate probably won’t be phased by you diffusing them in your dorm.

You can create custom EO blends the same way you would create an incense blend, by combining different plants based on their correspondences. You can also buy pre-mixed blends online if you’re feeling lazy or if you have a certain blend you know you’re going to use a lot like, say, a focus-enhancing blend for studying.

Another option, and one that’s more traditionally witchy, is to use magickal oils/ritual oils. A magickal oil is an oil that has been created for a specific magickal purpose -- it’s like a spell in a bottle. A ritual oil is created for a specific use in magickal ritual. You can find tons of different ways to incorporate these oils into your daily life for some very subtle witchcraft.

You can create your own magickal oils by combining herbs, essential oils, and crystals that match your intention, or you can buy magickal oil blends from witch-owned businesses. Art of the Root has my absolute favorite oils -- I have like six different blends, and they’re all ridiculously powerful.

Some ways you can use magickal oils: 1.) wear them as a body oil, 2.) diffuse them like you would an essential oil blend, 3.) use them to anoint and bless objects, like tests or study guides, 4.) add them to spiritual baths, and a million more. [Note: many magickal oils come with real herbs and resins in the bottle. These chunky bits could damage a diffuser, so do keep that in mind.]

Personally, I wear magickal oils on a daily basis in the place of perfume, since most of the ones I own smell really good. As I apply them, I say a small incantation to power them up. For example, if I’m wearing an attraction oil, when I put it on I’ll say something like, “I am powerfully attractive to the people and things that will improve my life.” Which oil I choose to wear depends on the day and the area of my life where I want some extra help. 

Tech Magick

The nice thing about being a witch in the 21st century is that, if all else fails, you can keep your entire magickal practice contained on your laptop and/or phone. And even if you’re not doing 100% of your witchcraft in a virtual space, you can still use your technology as a tool in your practice. 

Pinterest is the ultimate visualization tool. You can create a virtual altar to a deity or spirit guide by dedicating a Pinterest board to them, or create vision boards for the things you want to manifest, or create a brainstorming space to plan your full moon rituals... the possibilities are endless. 

Keep your Book of Shadows and/or manifestation journal in a Word document. If you’re really concerned about privacy, you can even password protect these documents. Another pro of an electronic Book of Shadows is that most word processors have a “search” function that lets you look things up more easily. 

Make a devotional playlist for a deity or spirit guide. Making Spotify playlists for my deities is one of my favorite devotional acts! I’ll put together all of the songs that remind me of that deity, and I can listen to it anytime, anywhere to instantly connect with them. And don’t be afraid to ask your deities what type of music they like -- you may be surprised by the answer!

If any other witches have similar tips, feel free to add onto this! This is just stuff that I’ve found works for me, but magick is deeply personal and everyone will do things a little bit differently. 

And not to shove my content in everyone’s faces, but I did just post a spell to enchant your school notebooks on my YouTube channel, so check that out if you’re interested!

[hyunchanee-exo]

Total Fucking Darkness

A fanfic written by hyunchanee_exo for the Baecon and Eggs Fanfic Fest

Summary: Chanyeol is a freak who tends to burn stuff and Baekhyun is a hot guy with a bewitching secret.

Tags: Witches, Demons, Fantasy, Action, Magic, Light Angst, Fluff, Smut, Slight Violence (Please check the whole tags before reading)

Word Count: 55,282

This is a little background file about the fanfic and will contain spoilers so only keep on reading if you have finished the fic.

archiveofourown.org/works/19114765

The Writing Process

I have always wanted to write something about witches after I watched Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I vaguely remembered this prompt back when I was claiming my prompt for Will of the Stars (2018) so when the 2019 round opened, I quickly came for this prompt. I feel a bit sorry for the prompter because I turned their idea into this monstrosity but they haven’t reached out to me yet so I’m still hoping they aren’t that disappointed.

Despite being inspired from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, it has absolutely no relation to it at all aside from the fact that it’s all about witches and I incorporated the popular witch trio element into this fic. It is completely something original, especially with my trademark of putting stars and constellations into the lore.

The whole fic has the touch of darkness that you can hear in bury a friend by Billie Eilish.

Also, here is a playlist of all the songs I listened to while writing this.

I developed the plot around November of 2018 but I never got around to really writing it seriously until March because school has been hectic and I’m just graduating from senior highschool. The plot is actually really bland at first. Chanyeol was supposed to only forget Baekhyun, gets rescued from Sungyeol and he is trained until Sungyeol rises. All the ideas from Rena pretending to be his girlfriend, the lore, the little twists throughout with the witch hunters, Chanyeol’s mom and Baekhyun’s ultimate death were not developed until May, a week before I turned the fic in. I’m the master of working under pressure lol.

I had so many people beta read this thing. I’m so grateful especially to Ate Mimi and Ate Lan for being patient with me haha.

Original title of this fic was supposed to be House of Draco but it’s too formal ahahaha.

I’m so proud of this work.

Witch Culture

They worship the stars.

The Roselake Coven collectively lives in a base hidden from human sight called the Roselake Fortress.

The Roselake Institution of Obscure Magic and Cosmic Witchcraft stands in front of the fortress.

Witches all have the standard ability to control magic, but they can also develop secondary abilities.

The witches live an egalitarian society where no matter what you are as long as you are against the darkness and you are with the stars, you are as equal as anybody else.

Technology is banned because it is useless anyway in a place brimming with magic.

Fashion includes anything black.

Witches love jewelry of any kind.

Dark, dramatic make-up is a staple.

Powers

The witches in this fic all have powers inspired from Polaris of the Gifted.

“All of a sudden, Chanyeol brings his arms sharply down in front of his chest, hands curled into fists. A ring of beautiful blue fire bursts out from within his body, setting the people in black on fire. Their shrieks echo into the night as they try to collect their wits and extinguish the flames, which Chanyeol takes as his cue to run the fuck out of there.”

Chanyeol using his powers in this scene kinda looks like this:

The Houses

This is only a list of all the mentioned houses throughout the fic. It doesn’t mean that these are the only ones that exist. There are actually more.

House Draco, the Dragon - blessed with the ability to control the Abysmal Fires and high aptitude for Offensive Magic

House Aquila, the Eagle - blessed with strong affinity for magic of any kind and the ability to effectively fight off the darkness

House Vulpecula, the Fox - blessed with cunningness and high aptitude for Influential Magic

House Cassiopeia, the Queen - blessed with natural born leadership and high aptitude for Affliction Magic

House Orion, the Hunter - blessed with sensitivity to magic and has sharp senses

House Corvus, the Crow - blessed with high aptitude for Dark Magic

House Leo, the Lion - blessed with the natural ability to heighten physical strength and have high capability in tolerating various kinds of magic

House Pyxis, the Compass - blessed with high aptitude in teleportation of any kind

House Circinus, the Dividing Compass - blessed with the natural ability to locate any person, place or object obscured from sight

Colors of the magical energy harnessed by witches depends on the house that they belong in, although that still depends. For example, a witch might have blue magical energy, hinting their House Draco bloodline, but the witch might be absorbed in other houses because of circumstances.

The Characters

This is Chanyeol, an ascendant of House Draco. He grew up as a mortal, which is why it was hard for him to adjust with witch life, especially after all the trouble he had to go through before becoming an official witch. He always felt lost and confused, but he did his best especially with Baekhyun guiding him so he became more powerful and capable through will and determination.

Here is Baekhyun of House Aquila, a prodigy among the youth in the coven. He's selfless and prioritizes the safety of the ones he love. He understands the principle of sacrifices and will choose the shortest end of the stick. He's charismatic yet cute at the same time.

The Oh Family featuring Krystal from f(x) with Sehun and Nayoung from Pristin, the only living ascendants of House Vulpecula in the Roselake Coven. They have been excommunicated from the Roselake Coven simply because they are directly related to Sungyeol. Despite this, they wholeheartedly helped Chanyeol, showing their loyalty to family as long as they are in the right.

Kahi as the High Priestess with Kyulkyung, Rena and Roa as the Pride Sisters, ascendants of House Cassiopeia. They appear cruel and antagonistic, but that is only because they are fierce and strict when it comes to the safety of the coven.

ITZY as Baekhyun's half-sisters, ascendants of House Aquila. Even if Baekhyun feels a bit distant from them because they aren’t blood-related and he constantly has the need to take up the responsibility of keeping witches safe from their upcoming doom, they look up to him as an admirable older brother.

Kai of House Corvus and Kyungsoo from House Orion a.k.a fluffy boyfriends who are close friends with Baekhyun. Kyungsoo is quite bubbly, naive and maybe a bit airheaded at times, but he is smart and very powerful. Jongin is the exact opposite of him and because of their match, they come in a set.

The Roselake Institution of Obscure Magic and Cosmic Witchcraft Council Leader Yixing of House Leo with council members Jongdae of House Pyxis and Minseok of House Circinus. They are always busy because aside from keeping the student witches in check, they have to cooperate with the higher authorities to keep the peace.

These are star-crossed lovers Witch Sehun and Witch Hunter Junmyeon. The witch hunters in the fic were dormant and had not been trained to be one only making them legacies rather than actual hunters, but the demons manipulated them in order to capture the witches.

So far, that is all. If you have any more questions, feel free to hit me up on Twitter or shoot me an ask here!

[bonestoashes]

Crystals

Original post here I have a confession to make- I have a problem when it comes to collecting things. I have a hard time keeping myself from buying more pens, journals, and I have so many books that they don’t all fit on my book shelf. My make up collection is constantly growing and while it has been a long time since I bought a candle, I have a collection of incense and scented wax for melting sitting in my closet. The only reason I am able to grow my collections is because I now make my own money and can spend it as I see fit. When I was a little kid, I didn’t have the luxury. I still collected things though. I collected rocks. I had an old film tin filled with rocks that came from my backyard, parks, and tumbled colored rocks you can find in gift shops. I suspect maybe those early habits were fueled from me being an earth sign I wanted to feel a connection to that which was of the earth. I suspect that does have a hand in it since I have since passed my collection down to my little brother who is a Taurus like me.

When I finally started walking the path of witchcraft naturally I found myself being led into the realm of crystals and what they could do. I never fully got into that branch of magic mainly for two reasons. First being I was not in a stable home situation and didn’t really have any place to put new items and also because, this branch has a lot of information and it felt overwhelming to say the least. I am excited though to be dipping my feet back into this pool of information in hopes that I can bring clarity and help to quell the anxiety I feel from this overhaul of information and maybe even bring someone else some insight in how you can work such things into your craft while also inspiring myself.

This article isn’t going to be solely on how crystals can work with you on a physical level but that will be mentioned so I feel like I should give a little disclaimer. I don’t want to tell you how to think, feel, or believe and I highly suggest that you use our articles as different perspectives that can help fuel your own research. I do however think I need to tell you my own personal beliefs on crystals and how they work. I am a firm believer of mixing science and magic when possible. Enter piezoelectricity, the idea that you can accumulate energy by applying mechanical stress to certain solid materials. The solid material being crystals, in this post. Its how we are able to use quartz as a battery. This technology is utilized in many different inventions. It is this vein of science that makes me believe crystals an have an effect on us. I do not believe that placing a certain crystal on your stomach you can cure cancer, or completely make your organs do a 360 and change your whole internal systems. Our bodies do have electrical currents though so to me it does make sense that items that can have a current can also effect the currents in our bodies. I do not have enough scientific knowledge to say that I know for sure without a fact that is how it works, but I do believe in the possibility. Many scientists like to say that the idea of crystals and their interactions with our bodies are purely placebo, and even if that is the case I am personally fine with that. Your brain is powerful and why shouldn’t we take pride in that? As long as you aren’t saying its one thing when it is really the other I see no problem in giving into placebo in safe manners.

That being said, how can we utilize these items? Well here is some ideas!This is probably the easiest for those who have to hide their craft. You can put crystals on your altar and wear items that have stones. Based on correspondence you can dedicate them to certain deities. If you have a certain space in your home you like to use for certain spells you can fill that space with crystals that can help you with your intention. For example, rose quartz is often times associated with love and can be attributed to Aphrodite and others gods and goddesses that have domain in that realm. Many witches will put rose quartz in whatever space they use to get ready for the day to help with spells linked to self-love and glamours. 

Crystals can also be used to charge items. Many people will use clear quartz as a way of cleansing and charging their tarot deck for example. To me this strongly plays into the piezoelectric idea. I also want to touch briefly on charging crystals. Many people use moonlight, sunlight, and vibrations via sound to charge to charge their crystals. Another way is using water; HOWEVER, it should be noted that you should only do this if you know your crystal is not water soluble. In this same vein, be careful when buying into the crystal infused water trend. It’s a good idea to be careful anytime there is something that is on trend.Finally, you can use them for meditation. You can hold it, lay around surrounded by your crystal of choice, whatever makes you the most comfortable. Call it law of attraction if you want but you can match your affirmations and wants to a crystal and what it is corresponded to.

Sources and further reading: https://www.explainthatstuff.com/piezoelectricity.html

https://sciencing.com/use-crystals-generate-electricity...

https://www.nanomotion.com/piezo.../piezoelectric-effect/

https://health.howstuffworks.com/.../human-body-make...

http://themedicinejournal.com/.../how-human-bodies.../

https://www.thoughtco.com/crystal-altars-1729383

https://www.energymuse.com/blog/crystal-altar/

https://www.shape.com/.../hea.../whats-crystal-infused-water

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/.../how-to-use-crystals-to...

[mysteryfanfictheatre3000]

Back to the Frollo, Chapter 5

Warning: Frollo likes fireplaces, but not in a way that makes sense given the movie.

Chapter Five

Ah, home at last! Claude Frollo stood oh-so-close to me as I unlocked my front door. He kept nuzzling my neck, sniffing my hair, and whispered sweet nothings in my ear. We barely got in the door when Claude suddenly clasped me tightly to him, kissing me deeply and hungrily. I could feel my head spinning, my knees beginning to weaken, such a rush of emotion coursing through my body...

She needs to chill. I mean, I’m asexual, so maybe I just don’t get it, but I feel like that’s not the normal response someone would have to Claude Frollo, of all people.

When we came up for air, Claude held me at arms' length and gazed into my eyes. "Oh Danisha...I didn't mean to come on so strongly, darling", he said tenderly. "It's just that it has been so long since I, since we..." I knew what was on his mind, and, trying to steer things in another direction, said, "Baby, I know it's been a long time, but can we get settled first?" Claude softly laughed, "One step at a time, my love?" I joined in his laughter and asked, "Are you hungry, sugar? I know you haven't eaten yet, and I have some really good barbeque I bought this afternoon. Sweet and spicy, just the way you like it."

Don’t you like, make barbecue? You can’t just go to the store and be like “please give me one barbecue” and get a meal. You have to grill it, right? Also, why does a man from the 1400s like American food?

Claude Frollo smiled with approval as I turned on the lights, then he finally said, "Thank goodness for M. Edison. Now I can fully feast my eyes on your loveliness." He looked me up and down, his eyes taking in every detail. "My sweetness, you never looked more beautiful. I like the dress. Very becoming. It highlights your coloring, your curves...oh, my dear."

He knows who Edison is and is not in the least bit impressed by the marvel of electricity. Hell, I’m impressed by it, and I see it every day. But sure, the guy from the middle ages is not even a little unnerved? I have a feeling his reaction would be less “ooh, hot girl” and more “WITCHCRAFT!”

I smiled. Maybe, just this once, I could believe that he was paying attention to my attire; I wore a silk shantung dress of deepest violet, very elegant and figure-enhancing. My hair was upswept in a stylish twist, a la En Vogue, held with a sparkling amethyst ornament. Matching highheeled peau de soie shoes, a gold and amethyst necklace, and oversized earrings completed the ensemble. Even my makeup followed the same color scheme, right down to the deep-violet lips.

This is reminding me of My Immortal with all the unnecessary clothing descriptions. And that’s never a good thing.

Now I am by no means skinny; in fact, I am what you would call a "healthy" girl. Not fat, but all womanly curves and pleasing-to-the-eye fleshiness. But why should I apologize? I guess Claude liked what he saw because he couldn't stop checking me out.

Fleshiness? Also, your instance that you aren’t fat is making me think you’re fat.

"Claude", I said, "why don't you put on some music while I change. Then I'll fix us a nice supper." He looked somewhat disappointed and said, "Why? Darling, you look stunning! Why deprive me from drinking in all that beauty?" "Claude, I've been standing in these shoes all night. Besides", I paused, trying to think of an excuse, "have you ever tried getting barbeque sauce stains out of silk?" Claude laughed good-humouredly and said, "All right, my love, if you insist." He smiled and narrowed his eyes. "Dressed up or down, you are still ravishing." I returned the smile, "Make yourself at home, sugar, as you always do." From my room upstairs, I soon heard the strains of the Crystals, Fats Domino, the Ronettes, and classic Motown. Gosh, I guess he really likes that old stuff, just as I do.

She’s just shoehorning in her own interests here because she's an intolerable author avatar Mary Sue. Why on Earth would Frollo like classic Motown?

I stifled a giggle as I remembered how Claude Frollo got himself all worked up when I sang "Heat Wave" at that street party in Paris that summer. It was so funny, with him trying to remain his usual, straight-laced self while his blood was literally boiling with desire.

Modern Paris, or 1400s Paris? Because I feel like the inhabitants of the latter would probably not like “Heat Wave.”

Of course, at the time, I really didn't know how much I truly affected him. I returned downstairs to find that Claude had started a cozy fire. What is it with this man and fireplaces?

This is just reminding me of that scene where he sings a song about being unable to control his sexual desires for another woman, and wanting to rape and murder said woman because of it. What part of that is attractive, I don't know.

It was a chilly late-September night and a fire added the right touch. He made himself at home all right, I thought with a chuckle. After a short silence Claude commented on my casual wear - just blue jeans and Indiana University sweatshirt. "What's this? Universitatis Indianensis, and they couldn't do cream-and-purple?", he said as he tried to keep from laughing.

He knows about the University of Indiana?! Also, what is her obsession with the color purple?

"Real cute, Claude", I said, noting the swipe at I.U.'s real colors: cream-and-crimson. He smiled broadly, adding, "You DO look rather fetching, Danisha. Even if the shirt hides your curves a bit, the jeans certainly make up for...oh darling...you have the most delicious shape." With that, Claude took me in his arms again and sweetly kissed my lips.

This is just so weird. I'm still not over the fact that this woman is dating Frollo, who she took to the 21st century, just to have sex with, and I've been reading it for several pages now. Just, why!?

"You do realize I had not planned on this. But things turning out as they did, I'm glad to be with you again, my darling. I thought of you all day, and, oh Nisha, the feelings I get when I do think of you." He continued to hold me close, kissing me over and over, and rocking me ever so gently. It had been a long time, and I was grateful to have this man here with me, if for only a brief time.

I think he can stay here with her however long she wants. He seems to have a good grasp of the modern technology she uses, doesn't seem upset or bemused by anything, and enjoys modern-day American culture, evidently. It's not like the people of Paris would miss him. She can keep him; no one else wants this sociopath around.

"I love you, Claude Frollo. Even if you had a hundred women, I still love you. You're the sweetest, most wonderful, most exciting man I've ever met." I kissed him back, and Claude Frollo, in a deep, sweeter-than-molasses voice, said, "My dear Nisha, I know you love me. I know how deeply you care for me. Why do you think I keep coming back to you? You don't have to answer that, for I can see it in your eyes." He kissed me again then unexpectedly said, "Come to think of it, I am rather hungry. Now where is that delicious barbeque you were raving about?" "This way, baby", as I led him into the kitchen.

The sheer absurdity of Frollo eating barbecue with a modern American woman while listening to classic Motown astounds me.

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

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15 Crazy Innovative Kitchen Products You Don't Need, But Might Really, Really Want

Let’s be honest here: no one would mistake me for a cooking connoisseur. I don’t have knife skills, a close relationship with my pressure cooker, or celebrated family recipes up my sleeve. I also don’t necessarily know the difference between grilling and barbecuing, and I definitely don’t do the whole "taste your food as you add ingredients" thing Gordan Ramsay is always talking about on MasterChef. 

I do, however, enjoy cooking at my average-at-best skill level, and I get really excited about things that help make my life in the kitchen easier. I especially appreciate when a brand employs humor or playfulness when making these useful products. 

So when I attended Ambiente, the largest consumer goods trade show in the world, this year, I was happy to discover a ton of products that did just that. As I walked from booth to booth, I saw some things that were sleek and shiny, and others that were simply wacky and fun. No matter what they were, all were innovative and useful in some way — even if their purpose was just to make people smile.

Here are some of my favorite kitchen tools showcased at Ambiente this year.

1. This knife that melts butter as you spread it.

us.thatinventions.com

The SpreadTHAT! knife uses the warmth from the palm of your hand to soften anything you’re trying to spread. You no longer have to worry about biting into a clump of butter. It’s dishwasher safe and made with titanium coating that’s non-toxic and food-contact safe.

2. This mug that won’t let you accidentally knock it over.

The Mighty Mug uses smartgrip technology that prevents spills and lifts naturally. It’s BPA safe, dishwasher friendly, and comes with a 100 percent happiness guarantee. 

"Simply place Mighty Mug down on your desk and it creates a powerful airlock which allows Mighty Mug to resist accidental knocks to help avoid spills," it says on its website. "When you lift Mighty Mug the pressure is instantly normalized allowing the airlock to release and Mighty Mug to lift naturally. You need to try it to believe it." 

I did try it and was impressed to see that it worked beautifully. 

3. This kitchen garden that grows herbs three times faster than traditional growing methods.

www.ecoconcepts.com.hk

"The Active Growing Technology enables up to 3x times faster growth compared to traditional growing methods. Best of all, growing herbs, lettuce and plants is effortless and does not require previous experience. Only 15 minutes of maintenance per month will ensure successful and enjoyable home growing," it says on its website. "The Genie system is a uniquely suited solution for city life – with one nutrient pack, you can enjoy 3x speed growing result. What you just need to do is add water to the plants and 4 AA size batteries." 

4. This ice cream scooper that uses heat to make it easier to scoop ice cream.

us.thatinventions.com

The ScoopTHAT! ice cream scooper makes it so much easier to get your Ben & Jerry’s from pint to bowl. The handle has a heat-storing bio safe liquid that transfers warmth to the scoop to soften up your ice cream. With this thing, you won’t have to wait for your ice cream to melt or struggle to scoop. 

5. This kitchen sponge holder that’s shaped like a bed.

www.ototodesign.com

The Clean Dreams kitchen sponge holder is adorably shaped like a bed, complete with pillows. It might just prevent you from leaving your sponge in your nasty sink for prolonged periods of time. 

6. This stool that uses hot water to keep your body warm for up to two hours.

www.design-bouillon.jp

Alright so this minimalist baby isn’t available for purchase quite yet, but how bad do you want to put the Warm Stool on your wish list? Simply pour steaming hot water into the clay seat and secure it with a wooden plug. It’ll make your kitchen an even cozier place to be and help you play into the Hygge hype. 

7. This witch-shaped spoon holder and steam releaser.

www.ototodesign.com

The Agatha spoon holder and steam releaser is a purple witch that you get to utilize in your everyday potions. Connect it to the side of your pot to keep your spoon from drowning. To let steam out, secure Agatha and then place the pot’s lid on top. Not exactly witchcraft, but it does come in handy. 

8. This thawing plate that defrosts meat without any external heat or power source.

us.thatinventions.com

"ThawTHAT! defrosts meat right on the countertop without any external heat or power source for a gentle, even thaw in less than half the time of traditional countertop thawing," according to its website. It’s made from a rugged aluminum construction, eco-friendly, and dishwasher safe. 

"But why wouldn’t you just use your microwave to thaw food?" you ask. "Using a microwave actually cooks your food even at the defrost setting. You may end up with a hard, crusty piece of meat that is raw on the inside and tough on the outside! No amount of marinate will help with the taste after you use a microwave," the creators say. 

9. This efficient bike-shaped pizza cutter that utilizes two blades to cut your pizza.

doiydesign.com

The Fixie pizza cutter comes in a variety of colors and patterns. "It reinterprets the pizza cutter with a small patterned bike leaning on its stand. The efficient design allows you to cut the pizza at once with its two wheel-blades," it says on its website. 

OK, so most of us don’t spend too much time cutting our pizza anyway, but it’s still way cooler than your average pizza cutting tool. 

10. These heat sensitive mugs that keep you from burning yourself.

kikkerland.com

How many times have you burned your tongue from sipping your coffee, tea, or hot chocolate too early? I, for one, avoid hot beverages for this reason. But this Morph Coffee Mug Heart might just change things for me. 

"Just add your favorite hot beverage and watch these mugs morph right before your eyes. Made of thermographic inks, these mugs react to heat, revealing new and fun artwork. As your beverage cools, the graphics change back to their original state," it says on its website. 

11. This dip bowl that keeps whatever you have in it hot for over 30 minutes.

us.thatinventions.com

Whether it’s spinach dip, melted chocolate, or gravy, the HeatTHAT! dip bowl helps to keep your dip nice and hot. 

"Just pop the silicone-insulated base into the microwave for 60 seconds, place it under the matching ceramic bowl, and enjoy every last gooey morsel. Never settle for dip gone cold again," its says on its website. 

12. This magic lamp that works as both a drink stopper and pourer.

www.peleg-design.com

"This legendary oil lamp can grant you three wishes: easily poured olive oil, a clever seal to keep it fresh, and a magical look that adds charm to your bottle!" it says on its website. 

Oh, and it’s called the Oiladdin, which is punnily perfect. 

13. These bartending glasses that teach you to make four different cocktails.

kikkerland.com

These glasses will instantly make you a better bartender. Each of the Bartending Glasses has four different drink options on each side for a total of 16 unique drinks. 

14. This magnet that lets everyone in the house know whether the dishes inside the dishwasher are clean or dirty.

www.fredandfriends.com

This handy FlipSide reversible dishwasher magnet will save you and your loved ones (or roommates you feel indifferent about) from having to open and close the dishwasher to check whether what’s inside is clean or dirty. The magnet is backed with non-staining adhesive and works on any dishwasher door. When dishes are clean, flip to the side that says, "Come in, we’re clean." When the dishwasher is filled with dirty plates, switch it to the side that says, "Sorry, we’re dirty."

15. This platter that keeps food chilled for up to a half hour.

us.thatinventions.com

The ChillTHAT! Platter helps to keep your cold cuts, cheeses, or desserts nice and chilled without you having to worry if you’ve served them up too soon. Instead, your guests will be able to enjoy the food you’ve prepared or purchased in the way it’s supposed to taste, even if it’s been nearly a half hour since you took it out of the fridge. 

"Using liquid cold plate technology, ChillTHAT! Platter keeps food deliciously chilled for up to 30 minutes. Simply remove it from the freezer, and use it to serve up your next dish," it says on its website.

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