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clitorista · 5 years ago

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So I met this really strong witch Sarah when I was a teenager, through one of the most awful, horrible, abusive people I’ve ever known. He met her while he was away at college, and he was my best friend at the time and had yet to show his full crazy. I was 16 and he was 19, and she was 19 and I was absolutely enamored of her. She was wonderful, she didn’t judge, she seemed very Light and Kind, and I stayed as in contact with her as I could over the years. We only checked in off and on throughout the years after she fell out of touch with Rowan, and he had been growing more and more controlling and abusive over the years towards me, so I wasn’t /allowed/ to talk to people he didn’t like or it escalated his behavior. In 2013 when I was 26 I finally broke free of him because he went to prison for assaulting a toddler. [Long story there, might be kinda tangentially related to my long streak of negative luck, actually. He was a powerful witch, too] When Harmony and I moved out together into our own apartment in 2015, things were hard. They were my PCA, and that was the only income we had besides my SSI, because they were in grad school and finishing it up. They were commuting an hour one way to school each day, spending $400 a month on a commuter rail pass, and our rent was half of our income, our car payment was another $300 a month, and then utilities, and groceries, and the money they had to spend on things FOR school... It was a fucking mess. About two months after we moved into that apartment, Sarah contacted me. She wanted to come by and see how I was doing, and show me some new makeup stuff she had. She was a Mary Kay consultant, and I had [out of kindness, not because I supported Mary Kay, or liked makeup] given a part for her a few years before. She wanted to see about following up with that, and honestly that party she had held for me the few years before had kickstarted my obsession with makeup. I’d already outpacecd the Mary Kay quality stuff, but I wanted to be kind to a friend I’d had so long, and so I let her come and bring all of her goods. We had a little extra money because it was in between both of our birthdays, so we bought some stuff from her and figured that would be it. But then she asked me to join her team. I told her I wasn’t interested, because I wasn’t able to travel to do parties, being a wheelchair user would make it impossible for me to access most people’s houses. She insisted, and talked me into it, telling me I could hold parties at my house, and all of my ordering could be done through my company website. I wouldn’t have to hold any product stock, and I’d be able to /make extra money/ that we so desperately needed. I tried for about a month, and wasn’t bringing in any orders, so she devised a plan. I would be her personal assistant and help her run /her/ Mary Kay business, and she would make orders in my name to keep me active, and then would pay me $300 a month under the table for us to be able to afford groceries because we /weren’t/ at the time, and I kept getting denied SNAP benefits. This seemed like a sure fire thing, so I agreed to try it out. Within the month, she had started shirking her duties of on boarding people, and I was running the facebook launches, and teaching people all of the stuff they needed to know to run their businesses. She kept going to Mary Kay seminars, and I had to transcribe her notes, both from her private notebooks, and from her audio notes. It was fine, because I type quickly and accurately and I’m actually really quite good at that. The problem with everything was, she kept getting more and more erratic. She’s a very powerful Christian Witch who works with the Archangels, and that was fine to us while we were on her good side... She bought us witchy gifts, she helped Harmony hone their craft and bring me back to my practice that I’d let lapse. She slowly stopped going out to do in person launch parties. She would just completely abandon the girls whose parties were supposed to happen the day of them, and leave me to tell them how to run them and to field any texts that came from them, or any vox messages. Her marriage was falling apart, she couldn’t keep a job.... Which was unlike her, and unusual for her. She grew up in a very wealthy family, went to school and got a ton of tech certs, and had always had a 6 figure job. She stopped going to work. She lost at least two jobs in the three months everything spanned over. In those three months, she paid me $100, once. I’ve obviously got serious mental illnesses, and am physically disabled and just couldn’t keep up with running a business, let alone one that was not benefiting me at all. I told her that I couldn’t do it anymore, because it wasn’t working for me and it was driving me into the ground, and she did not take it well. She got incredibly angry, and said some really derogatory things about how poor Harmony and I are, and she got some of her stuff from our house but never came back for others. We thought we had gotten rid of all of it in the immediate aftermath. FFW a little adn Harmony has graduated grad school with a degree in Clinical Psychology. They get hired at a very well acclaimed youth counseling program, and they start working right away. We move into a fancy new apartment that’s huge, and on the top floor of an 8 story building. It’s late June when we move in, and the central air is apparently not working. They tell us to keep our windows open, and fans going because it’s an unbelievably hot outside, even for that time of year. We do so, not knowing our windowscreens are breakaway and our boy cat, who is only a year old at this time, falls out of the window. He broke his pelvis/hip and ended up in kitty ICU for a week, and having a pin put in his hip. He survived, and is just fine now. Harmony and I have always had chronic health issues we’ve tried to be taken seriously about by doctors, and always had them brushed off. In 2016 they start worsening, rapidly. Well, mine didn’t get so bad so quickly, but Harmony’s fucking bottomed out all at once. In 2016/2017 I was 29-30, and Harmony was 24-25 so it was weird /how/ bad it got, how quickly. They were working their high stress job, that was focused very minutely on productivity, and they kept asking for accommodations for their disabilities and being hand waved off. They had been FINE and then all of a sudden were very NOT FINE. They scheduled meeting after meeting with their supervisors and they were told to just find ways to manage, and they did their best to keep up with their unrealistic productivity expectations. People were quitting the company left and right because they were working their people into the ground, but we couldn’t afford for Harmony to quit because I can’t work, and our bills are too much. In 2018 they were finally fired for their disabilities, which their company completely openly admitted. Their last year working there, after Trump changed the tax laws, their job didn’t withhold enough, and they ended up owing $3000 dollars to the government that year. They applied for unemployment, and were told they were entitiled to it. The unemployment agency did /not/ walk them through the paper work the right way, and when they filled it out there was no option given for them to list their part time job as my PCA. They collected unemployment for about six months, and at the end of the six months started looking for another job. Nowhere was hiring, and they took the only job that accepted them, a fee-for-service clinician job. It promised that they were going to have a full caseload of 25 clients within 6 months, and that then they would be salaried. That never happened. They’re still working with a partial caseload, and making barely any money. In the past 4 years, a /ton/ of other fucked up shit has happened to us besides both of our health. [Mine ended up rapidly deteriorating in the past year and a half, btw.. worse than it was before. Even worse in the past six months.]. Our brakes went twice on our car that we’ve only owned for four years as of this month. We hit a pothole so hard and deep that it broke our wheel, and completely fucked up our alignment. Our battery randomly died, more than once, and then finally completely shit the bed January 2019 on the coldest day of the year. Our radiator started leaking antifreeze due to loose hoses. Harmony has had a bunch of weird, wild, fucked up shit happen to their mouth. They’ve broken both of the crowns they got in 2016, they broke a tooth and had to have it extracted. Dental phobia is like their biggest phobia, and they literally can’t even talk about dental procedures. We just kept running into emergency after emergency that cost $500+, with no way to pay for them ourselves. We also ran up our credit cards to completely maxed out, and defaulted on them because we had no other option and needed to use them for groceries and gas and living essentials. This job they’re still currently at [ but leaving at the end of apri ] has never paid more than $500 takehome for two weeks of work. They were getting paid $30 an hour before the past few months when a raise of $2.50 happened. The thing is, as a fee-for-service clinician, they only get paid if they HAVE sessions. They get paid nothing for paperwork, they get paid $17 an hour for collateral work, and for their supervision. We’ve had to fundraise a ton of different times through mutual aid groups, and take money from my parents to make ends meet. There was just a lot of little stuff that went wrong, as well, and a huuuuuge falling out between Harmony and their parents over our Christmas vacation and they haven’t spoken since because of some really passive aggressive ass letters their parents wrote them. We’ve both had a lot of negative interactions with doctors, a lot of health problems, doctors telling us we’re just fat and that’s where all of our problems are stemming from... Obviously that’s bullshit, and we’ve both tested for there being ACTUAL THINGS WRONG but still aren’t getting taken seriously. It got so bad, and we were struggling so hard no matter what we did, we came to the conclusion we had /definitely/ been hexed/cursed. I tried mirror charms, to reflect it back, I tried shielding stuff. I tried some banishing stuff. None of it worked. For the past year Sarah has been sending me emails that have no info in their body, and their subject line is always “Is this still you, Nikki?” And I accidentally opened the first one without realizing it was “empty”, and haven’t opened any since, and have them directly deflected to my spam folder now. On Valentines I was presented with the PERFECT opportunity for some NAME MAGICK. San Antonio Zoo was offering this fundraising effort “Name a cockroach and we’ll feed it to our animals for $5. You can name a mouse for more, and we’ll feed it to our snakes.” I named a fucking cockroach after Sarah, with her last name attached, and things MAGICKALLY started getting better. Just before Valentines is when we found out they weren’t renewing our lease, after Valentines we started looking for somewhere new to live and had a hard time finding somewhere that met our requirements, but as soon as we did and applied with my mum cosigning [because our credit scores suck from tanking them being jobless], we got accepted. Harmony found a new job too, after having been applying to them for months. It’s not a GREAT job, it’s a call center job at Spectrum cable, but it will be stable pay, with the same hours every week, and the same pay every paycheck. Which is what we need the most so we can keep our budget on board. Some random problems have obviously come up with these situations, being that their current day job is basically non-existent because even their boss isn’t answering their calls for their sessions/supervision. They got one session in in their first week of work from home, and their boss didn’t answer their supervision call. We haven’t received our lease to sign yet, despite the fact we’re moving on the 4th, and found out today it’s because they didn’t have some paperwork from my Mum that they didn’t tell us they needed until today, after I asked them about why we hadn’t gotten it yet... We’ve fixed that, and they’ll have them all on Tuesday. But there was a literal air of Negative Anxiety for the past 4 years, we sniped at each other a lot and had to learn a lot of really good communications skills. Now it feels a lot lighter, and more positive, and we’re arguing less even though we’ve been in the house together for 22 days straight. We’re getting along really well, and still being really supportive of one another with all of our anxieties, and traumas. We’ve been so good together, and putting all of the work of the past four years into this month, and it’s working so well. And things are finally looking up. My Tarot and runes keep telling me I’ve got financial stability, material gain, wealth, romantic love, and life stability, home and hearth, and family. It’s fucking w i l d and I don’t know what to make of any of it. It’s also pointing towards the love coming from someone already close to me, which I definitely realized I’m in love with one of our best friends recently, so there’s that.

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