#the childhood friends to lovers trope is like my favorite lately

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[catsushinyakajima]

KLANCE FIC RECS FOR THE NEW YEARS RECAP PART ONE

2024 has come to an end! Here are all of my fav fav Voltron fics and authors that I've interacted with throughout the year. I'm trying to make this list as diverse as possible so everyone can find some tropes they like but I PROMISE all these fics are worth a read. Listed in no particular order, we have:

fear no more the heat o' the sun by taromi | 28k | Canon-Divergent

This fic is an ASTOUNDING depiction of Keith's perspective on life and how Lance changes things up. Every scene between them added not only to their dynamic, but also to our vision of Keith. We see how he is and how things unfold so beautifully. The prose is beautiful and the scenes carry both fluff/emotion so well.

Silver Bells by heavily_caffeinated/@heavilycaffeinatedsblog | 86.3k | Christmas AU

I'm not one for much holiday cheer/hallmark-esque tropes, but caf's writing still managed to draw me in so much. I applaud Caf sincerely for their incredible diligence to upload a chapter everyday (totaling to 86k words in 25 days!!), and their enthusiasm to include everyone in it's creation. This fic is a pure show of passion, in both it's story and the creation of the story. I encourage you all to check out their other fics too.

late night talking (can’t get you off my mind) by ShatterinSeconds/@shatterinseconds | 5.8k | Werewolf!Keith

This fic is SO GOOD for touch starved Keith. It's short and sweet and you get both perspectives of their pining and feelings together. It's a really cute one shot, and I had trouble picking between this fic and other fics by the author so check those out too! Also @shatterinseconds is the goat for not only commenting on all my fics, but somehow always being in the comment section of every fic I read.

Hearts Don'/t Break Around Here by klancekorner | 135.5k | Roommates/Childhood Best Friends

This fic is a classic in the KL fandom but I still don't hear it talked about enough!! I don't usually like childhood best friends trope that much but this fic made me LOVE it!!! It also portrays Lance's anxiety and Keith's avoidance so so well and shows them growing up beautifully.

Cores of Diamond by speaks/@speakswords | 25.6k | Friends with Benefits

One time I lost this fic in my bookmarks and spent a whole day trying to find it. It's such a good depiction of the way KL don't always see eye to eye due to a lack of proper communication and bridging that gap between them. Has NSFW scenes!

Where the water meets the sky by speaks/@speakswords | 106.3k | Mer!Keith

I NEEDED to rec another speaks fic, this one is unfinished but it ends on a conclusive note. There's themes of growing up, living with changes, reunions, and also lots and lots of feelings.

got got got it bad by kairiolette | 10.3k | Post-War | Pining Keith

This one is also pretty popular. It's so so funny. And so real. Keith goes through the five stages of grief as he realizes he loves Lance and like. Of course he would do that. Really sweet.

so kiss me (kiss me kiss me kiss me) and tuesday's sweetheart (sunday's lover) by hearttpoem | 10k | roommates AU | getting together

This author writes the BEST modern/roommates AU. I love the way KL lives together in their fics and I love the way you can see different love languages in the fics. I was going back and forth between which fic to rec and I chose both these fics cuz I read them all the time!!

Where the apple falls by europa_report/@jupiters-junipers | 130k+ | post-war | comatose

No fic rec list is complete without this fic. This fic is genuinely one of my favorite KL fics, its not finished but I believe the author will finish it. The prose is beautiful and it is an entire emotional rollercoaster. You guys should definitely check this fic out

I've Said Too Much (You Promise I Can't Ever Say Enough) by negativefouriq | 1.8k | Autistic!Lance | Est Relationship

This fic is short, sweet, and such a good depiction of having so many thoughts and wanting to share them all and the anxieties of it. Keith's perspective and his reactions to Lance are very healing to read.

baby, i'll rock your world by AsterikaMay/ @catsushinyakajima | 9.5k | Christmas AU | Gift giving

I am putting one of my fics here lol because I did enjoy writing this one a lot! I keep writing fics about gift giving and pining...this must say something about me ahahah

Part two here

[queers-gambit]

Midsummer Night(mare)'s Dream

prompt: ( requested ) when Oliver's obsession reaches new heights, you fear Felix might return the affection - resulting in bloody flower petals suffocating you.

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 12.9k+

note: favorite trope here to stay

⚠️ you are responsible for the media you consume ⚠️

warnings: Hanahaki Disease AU: depiction of physical illness, medical phenomenon, blood, self-destruction; alcohol consumption, brief illicit material use and brief depiction of physical aggression, Lord's name in vain, cursing, angst, hurt and comfort, spoilers, AU timeline (obviously), "friends to 'strangers' to lovers", fix it Felix, "best friends" trope too, dead parents / family angst. requires maturity and caution.

When the first semester at Oxford started, something in your gut twisted with an unknown anxiety. Something in the air churned, a tide was turning, and there was something deeply amiss that you just couldn't put your finger on.

Your roommate was kind, your grades average with those that took education seriously, and your professors were decently challenging but in a good way. You didn't know what was wrong, why you suddenly felt anxious, but then, after asking your best mate why he was late to class the day of his first tutorial, Felix answered, "Had a flat tire."

You nodded, handing him the joint as you sucked in a sharp breath to hold the smoke in your lungs, "So you booked it?"

"No, actually," he chuckled. "Nice bloke named Ollie stopped t'help, offered me his bike."

You laughed, smoke billowing out, "Yeah? Tellin' me he just stopped and gave you his bike? Come off it - nobody's that nice. You flirt with him or something, Fi?"

"No, no, I'm serious! That's literally what happened!" He nestled his arm around your waist, "No, seriously, listen, right, I was on my way t'class, on time and all, yeah? Got a flat tire on my way. This lad, Ollie - Oliver - comes down the path, stops, asks what's goin' on, said he was in my college, so, he offered his bike 'cause he'd get it later, said he'd wheel mine back and all."

"Fuck off!" You shoved your elbow into his ribs.

"You only think people are out to do the worst, darling," Felix chuckled, flashing you a blinding smile. Neither of you could anticipate the series of events that this interaction would kick off. "Besides, he saved my fuckin' arse, I got t'class with enough time, didn't I?"

"Hmm," you agreed, a knot forming in your stomach as he handed you the joint back; both stretched out in your dorm bed as the thunder storm raged just shortly after you got back from class.

Perhaps you were too much of a cynic. Perhaps you grew up in a rougher part of the city with considerably less money, being skeptical of gestures of kindness. Perhaps you only knew people to be disingenuous.

Maybe you were just used to hearing these incredible stories from Felix Catton - certified spoilt best friend.

You grew up together; meeting as young children because your parents worked for one of the Catton's companies, your fathers having been childhood best friends, joining you two at the hip. You and Felix were two halves of one whole, a single functioning organism; becoming inseparable. You were meant to be soulmates, you were so sure of it, but in reality, it felt reassuring to have such a strong friendship that you never entertained the idea of romance.

Felix's friendship was genuine. It was built-on everyday, growing, evolving, forever changing to accommodate both your changing personalities. He accepted you for who you are, and it felt like he chose you everyday. Where others came and went, you remained. Where others abandoned you, there he was. There was no you without Felix and no Felix without you, and when the time came, you chose to attend Oxford together.

You knew how easy life was for him. You knew the silver spoon he was fed from. You knew he was the flame moths were drawn to.

Knowing Felix Catton was power-by-association, and you watched an endless slew of people come and go with the snuffed-out dream of being in his inner circle. You protected Felix (and the Cattons) from leeches and Felix protected you from, well, everything else. You were meant to be soulmates, you were so sure of it, and then everything changed the summer before senior year of secondary school when you moved in with him permanently.

Summer had just started, you were only two months away from turning 18, and then, a drunk driver drove your mother and father into a tree on the side of a road. There was nothing to be done when your parents were finally found, the EMTs assuring you they were dead on impact and did not suffer. You had been at home with Felix, who let you paint his toenails, the house phone ringing shrilly.

"Hello?" He answered for you, reporting your family's surname's residence. He hummed, then paused, looking at you. "It's St. Luke's Hospital, love?" Felix handed you the phone with curiosity.

When you reached for the landline, the nurse reported you were needed and asked if you had the means to get to them. You begged to know what happened, but all she said was, "There was an accident."

Felix drove you to the hospital.

Felix held your hand when you were lead to a private room, meeting a set of police officers.

Felix held you when you stumbled in shock upon being shown your parent's demise and Felix held your hair when you threw up after identifying bodies.

And the Cattons stood with you when the man responsible was sentenced to life in prison. They stood in the rain when you tossed two stones in the stream.

You lived with him from that moment on and sometime after, you accepted how in-love with him you were. He had always taken care of you, but that summer, he took care of you; being the glue that kept you together, the binding force that brought you into being, the reason you didn't waste away, give up, or lose yourself entirely.

When your final year before university began, you had to stomach the idea of loving him at a distance. He'd always been popular, charismatic, the sun at the center of everyone's galaxy that pulled all towards his warmth and light. But after losing his virginity at age 15, Felix was constantly running through partners and you didn't want to interrupt his "sexual awakening" despite the knife to the gut each girl stabbed. So, you kept your feelings to yourself and tried your hardest to be a staple in his life, and when you chose to attend Oxford, you made peace with the idea that you'd go another 4 years in silent denial.

Something about Oliver's little act of kindness just made you uneasy.

And then, the following night, Felix spotted his new little friend when you were out at the local pub and invited Ollie to sit at the table with you lot. You sat between Felix and Farleigh, India on your friend's other side - his cousin something akin to your own flesh and blood. After all, you had known them all for two nearly decades; marking you as one of the very, very few who could put Farleigh in his place. Eerily, you both shared a look of mild distain, but for very different reasons.

You didn't think yourself a jealous woman, but after meeting Oliver Quick in person, hearing him speak, watching him watch Felix, and witnessing how he interacted with everyone else, you grew uneasy in his presence. The night you met him officially, there was a funny tickle in your chest, and after a few too many coughs escaped, Felix whipped around at you instantly. "You gettin' sick, darlin'?" He asked, words drenched in genuine concern.

Oliver thought it was curious to use a pet name for a pretty girl while a different one was sat on his lap.

"I'm good," you assured, thinking the rain caused this reaction.

But as the night wore on, you coughed more and more. When Oliver got up to get the next round of shots, Felix, ever the sweetheart who had money at his disposal, scolded Farleigh for instigating the poor boy and stood with a note in his hand. Only you saw the real interaction of Felix subtly paying for the drinks, and when he returned, he set a glass of water in front of you.

He made sure you didn't drink the rest of the night, but you didn't want to - starting to feel unwell. "Fi, I'm gonna go - "

"Oh, no, love, c'mon, an hour longer," he pleaded as you stood. But he paused, examined your face, then standing without another word and tossed his arm around you, announcing to the table, "Right, we're off."

He ignored the jeers and complaints because he was swiftly escorting you away, and only when Farleigh clocked this did he scold the table to shut the fuck up. When you stepped outside, Felix was turning to you instantly, holding your cheeks in hand and using his thumb to wipe at the corner of your mouth.

"You're bleedin', love," he muttered, showing you his hand. You frowned and wiped the area yourself, seeing the crimson stain on the pads of your fingers. "Fuck. All right. C'mon, we can get you to the infirmary - "

"No, I don't think it's - "

"You've been coughin' all night and now you're bleedin'," he snapped, shushing you, "we're goin'!" When you just stared at him for a moment, he sighed, "I-I'm sorry, that was a bit more aggressive than needed. I'm just worried, love, you shouldn't be coughing blood."

"Might've just been smoking too much, yeah?"

Felix spoke your name with a hardened edge, staring at you for a long moment as neither of you wanted to back down. Finally, he cracked, "You're not gonna go, are you?"

"Nope. C'mon, I'm tired."

"Well, I'm stayin' the night incase you throw up," he declared, giving in and leading you towards your dorm.

"No, go back - "

"Not leavin' yah, love," he refused. "So, c'mon, tell me," he changed the subject, "what'd you think of Ollie?"

You sighed, "Nice enough lad, I guess."

"Told you," he grinned, weighing your heart to your feet.

For nearly every instance there after, you dreaded hearing Ollie's name or seeing him pop up at events. But that first night, as Felix dozed off in your bed, you were set on your knees, dry heaving in vain to free your throat from whatever suffocated you internally. When you managed to trigger your gag reflex, a stream of alcohol came spewing out - dotted with long, pretty, bright yellow petals.

You stared into the toilet, blinking in shock.

You always thought Felix was the human equivalent to a golden retriever with the disposition of a sunflower. In fact, there grew a small patch of sunflowers at Saltburn just for you; you and Felix planting them one summer together, kept alive after your parents died to bring you a little sunshine when you felt overwhelmed with storm clouds. After all, they were your favorite flower... Now being hacked out of your lungs in a ghastly, tacky mixture of blood, clots, and mucus.

As the year went, you didn't have another episode, but still did any and all research you could on your current phenomenon, wanting to avoid the hospital if you could.

The year flew by without much of a hitch, outside of Felix snapping on Ollie and distancing the lad from the group. However, just before exams, Felix came to you in need of help; saying Ollie's dad died, and being as he had both parents, he wasn't sure how to comfort the lad. It struck a nerve deep within you, going with Felix to talk to Ollie, and by the end, your arm had slung around the scholarship boy in pity, trying to talk him through part of his grief.

You didn't know the lad did his research on you and discovered you lived with Felix in his grand fucking castle because you were orphaned just before turning 18. It was the perfect "in", in Ollie's mind; a way to weasel close to you, solidifying himself to Felix.

You didn't like Ollie, he still made you feel uneasy, but you did pity him enough that you tolerated him. Now more than ever. He was back in the group before the day was done.

However, when exams concluded, Ollie was acutely aware that Felix attended the celebration to your exams - dressing you, pinning you for your accomplishments. You dressed and pinned Felix after his. And you both showed up for Ollie's exams, though, you dressed and pinned Farleigh as Felix did Ollie. He supposed it counted, still having the object of his desire back in sight; within his reach; staring at him with pride and a hint of pity.

It was exactly what Oliver wanted.

"Well, aren't you gorgeous?" Felix complimented when you arrived in the courtyard, dressing for the end-of-year ball. He stooped down to wrap you in a hug, giving a spin, and setting you on your feet as you laughed at his usual antics. "Absolutely a vision, love, seriously," he praised. "And I have a li'l something for us, hey?" He held up the champagne bottle.

"Christ," you mused, "what's the occasion? They'll supply cocktails there, Fi - "

"We're going to a funeral."

"I'm sorry?"

He sighed, handing you the bottle to dig in his trouser pocket and revealed a stone painted with the word, 'Dad'. Felix looked sheepish, "I thought we could do it for Ollie, yeah? Lad's had a real rough go of it all - "

"I think that's a nice idea, Fi," you cut him off, smiling in assurance, opening the wire on the bottle. "But first, a toast," you proposed, "to the start of summer."

"And end of exams," he agreed, taking the bottle back when you handed it over and popping the cork. He cheered as you drank first, taking his own, wrapping you in a tight hug. "We survived," he laughed, sighing after. "Really glad you were here with me through it, love."

"Yeah, me, too," you whispered, holding back creeping bile when your heart began to pound with harrowing tension. "All right, pretty boy, c'mon, sun's setting."

"Right," he pulled back, "I told Ollie to meet us in the courtyard."

"Which one?"

"C'mon," he laughed, taking your hand and leading you after him. You danced after him on your tip-toes, avoiding using your whole shoe and the high heel that elevated you off the ground several inches. "Easy, watch it, careful now," he teased.

"Hey," Farleigh greeted, watching you two go with a smile.

He bet Venetia that this was the summer you two got together. Felix had confided in him that he was considering the idea of settling down, having sowed his wild oats and being tired of running through girls like he had this past year. Farleigh never thought he'd hear such words from Felix Catton, but after seeing you and his cousin running off, he knew, it was only a matter of time before confessions were made.

"There he is," You pointed.

"Ollie!" Felix called, both of you jogging up to him. "Hiya, mate."

"Hey," He greeted you both as Felix didn't stop.

"C'mon, then! Follow us!"

Upon arriving at a stone bridge that passed over a thin stream, you let Felix explain what you were doing and why you were there. "So, in my family, we have this tradition, right? When somebody dies, we write their name on a, er, on a stone," he showed Ollie the stone he made, "and we chuck it in the river. My great-grandfather started it when his son died in the war. We've only done it for Y/N's parents and my dog so far, but... You know, I don't know, I just..."

"It helped, a bit," you filled in when Felix looked at you. You took the stone from Fi's hand and handed it to Ollie, offering, "Felt like our own private goodbye."

When Oliver took the stone and looked it over, Felix anxiously excused, "This feels a bit fucking stupid now."

"No. It's not stupid," Ollie insisted sincerely - only looking at Felix, like the whole world did. "Thank you."

"It's something, right?"

This lead into Felix explaining "what to do", Ollie taking a moment after. When he looked over, he saw Felix had positioned you in front of him, arms wrapped around your neck to keep you close, both screwing your eyes shut in prayer. It would've been endearing had this been an honest memorial...

When the stone was throw, it clattering into the mud on the embankment... A foreshadow you should've paid more attention to. This lead into you three sitting on the stone bannister, skipping the ball, sharing the champagne, and after learning about Ollie's poor living arrangements, for Felix to invite him home with you two. To Saltburn, setting in motion a series of unfortunate events.

That night, you stayed in Felix's dorm, asking, "Are you sure about this?"

"Hmm?"

"Ollie - coming home with us?"

"Oh, yeah, love, it'll be fine," he promised. "Gives us one more person in the house, that's never bad, is it?"

You couldn't answer, you didn't know.

Your first night home was memorable in the sense that Venetia, Felix's older sister, insisted on 'girls night' and locked you both in her room. "So? Did you tell him yet?" She rushed with an excited grin, pouring you both a glass of wine. "Farleigh and I have a bet goin' - "

"Tell who, what?"

She glared, "Don't play coy. You're in love with Felix!"

"Venetia!"

"Oh, shove off, I won't tell him - but does that mean you haven't either?"

"If I did, you honestly think I'd be here?"

"Well, yes - "

"He doesn't feel the same," you insisted, "and if I tell him, he wouldn't want me here anymore, it'd be awkward."

"You're absolutely insane if you think any of that is true!"

"Ven."

"He's mad for you."

"He say that?"

"Well, no, but I can tell."

"It's not gonna happen," you sighed, shaking your head. "Not with all his interests, and those interested in him," you explained bitterly.

"I think you should tell him," she nodded. "It wouldn't hurt to tell the truth, but it might give you both some relief. I promise, he doesn't want you out of his life, so, even by the off chance he doesn't feel the same, he'd still want you around. Oh, know what would be romantic? Writing him a note! You've always been a talented writer."

By the end of the bottle, you and Venetia had started drafting a letter; confessing your feelings and coming up with the grand idea to ask him to meet you in the maze if he felt the same. It was where you both went when wanting solidarity, being a place of worship for you both. The center of the maze was remote, private, being where your tears could be shed and secrets shared.

It felt fitting to meet there.

Your letter wasn't perfected to your standards until Ollie arrived. His first night, you began to feel that tickle in your chest again, and for some reason, you mistook this for 'butterflies' and decided tonight was the night. So, you snuck into Felix's room before dinner, knowing he was already out, and left your note on his bed; unaware that Oliver was watching through the crack in the bathroom door.

He slithered in when you were done, slowly approaching the bed, and fingering the letter. He plucked it in hand, opened the unsealed envelope, and read your confessional; requesting, that if he even had an inkling of returned affection, he'd meet you after dinner, in the maze. At the center, beneath the Minotaur statue.

Ollie stared at your flourish of a signature and instantly crumpled the letter, surging back into his room and shredding it into bits. He swept them away into the waste bin and adjusted his jacket.

"There you are!" Felix smiled, finding you in the hall. "Don't you look nice, darlin'."

"You always say that."

"I always mean it," he grinned, escorting you to the dining room.

Dinner was... Interesting, to say the least.

You were distracted by nerves only Oliver clocked, Venetia giggling and Felix the center of attention - as usual. He reached out a few times to grab your thigh, asking muttered questions in your ear, making sure you were all right after he noticed you had barely eaten. Oliver had to hide his amusement as you just seemed anxious, and when dinner was ended, he watched you scurry from the room as if the Devil was at your heels.

"Oh, is my darling girl all right?" Elspeth asked in concern.

"She had a lot of wine," Farleigh smirked.

"Ah, yes," Mrs. Catton waved off, and Felix stood from the table shortly after.

Oliver stalked by the windows that evening, catching sight of you, still in your evening gown, cutting through the mist to head into the maze. He smirked, hearing Felix in his room - but then catching sight of Venetia through a different window. A different part of his plan roared to life that night; meeting the sultry sister under the moon, both knowing you were waiting in the dark for Felix.

You paced in the cold. Your dress drug through the grass, bare feet tickled.

The hour drug by slowly. You lit another cigarette, watching the mouth of the maze.

The second hour rushed by. Your stomach knotted.

Three, four hours ticked by. And you were left standing alone, in the middle of the maze, coughing and wheezing.

You dropped to your knees when your ailment turned physically violent; fingernails digging into the mud as you choked and heaved, trying in vain to clear your throat. When you stuck your fingers down your throat, you threw up bile, dirt, acid, wine, and long, bright yellow sunflower petals - sobs soon wracking your entire being.

He didn't come... He didn't come. He didn't come.

You threw up twice more, blood staining your chest and dress; teeth outlined in red, the dewy taste of pollen left on your tongue. You sobbed until your head hurt, and sobbed some more; confusion and heartache taking over. When you managed to find your feet, you felt lighter, thinner, smaller, less of yourself than you have ever before.

A piece of you had officially cracked away, being spewed into the mud and grass at the base of the Minotaur statue.

When venturing back to your room, you gasped when you nearly smacked into Duncan. You stared at one another in mild shock, his eyes taking in your state and you quietly begged, "Please... Don't say anything to Sir and Mrs. Catton. I don't want them t'worry until I know what's wrong. I-I'm going to the doctors, Duncan, please, give me time to figure this out."

He nodded sadly, shocked by the blood left behind. The following morning, he didn't wake you... He let you sleep, demanding you be left alone to the waitstaff. When Elspeth questioned your absence at breakfast as Ollie entered the dining room, Duncan was heard, "Miss L/N was up early this morning, went for a run. She went back to bed, said she didn't sleep well."

"Oh, the poor darling," Sir James Catton tutted.

"Morning," Ollie greeted, careful not to let his excitement show over your empty chair beside Felix. Venetia was staring at her brother in near anger, confusing him, but distracted instantly by Oliver's arrival. Sir James greeted him first, Venetia followed, and Felix invited the lad to help himself to a meal.

You had sobbed the whole night, puking bits of blood as the flower petals tightened your windpipe; the tackiness making them stick like glue. You didn't know what to do - there was no way you could face the Cattons now, not after Felix surely told them that you would leave Saltburn (for good) soon.

But sometime after breakfast, there was a knock at your door.

"Come in," you bid quietly, debating if you should start packing or not. When Felix entered, he was holding a bouquet of sunflowers, smiling softly.

"All right, love?"

"What?"

He chuckled, "I'm asking if you're all right, we missed you at breakfast."

You just blinked stupidly, "Uh, y-yeah, guess I am."

"Good," he chirped, approaching you and handing over the flowers. "Got these for you, thought maybe you could use a bit cheering up?"

"Why would I...? Felix, is there - is there anything you want to say to me?"

"Uh, no? Not really, I mean, I was gonna see if you fancied coming with us to the field?"

You stared at him in confusion. "You... Don't want me to go?"

"Go? Go where?" He laughed, "Cause yes, I'd like you to go with us... To the field? I just asked you - you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Um, y-yeah," you swallowed thickly, petals peeling back down your throat. "Thank you, for these," you accepted the flowers.

"Figured, with your parent's anniversary comin' up, should keep you close, you know?"

You shook your head, "Wasn't even on my mind, Fi..."

"And I just put it there, Christ, Felix, fantastic job," he cursed himself, hand through his hair in stress. "I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean - "

"You didn't, it's fine - I-I mean, I'm fine," you assured, trying to stave off tears. "Actually, Fi, I'm feeling a bit tired, think I'll nap."

"Duncan said you were?"

"No, no, I didn't get back t'sleep," you nearly whispered, needing to clear your throat again. "You lot have fun, I'll find you later."

"Sure? 'S Ollie's first time," he taunted. "Don't wanna miss that, do yah, love? And we're reading The Half-Blood Prince together, can't miss that."

"I'll catch up tonight, promise," you nodded, "just tell me what chapter you get through."

Felix stared at you, reaching to pinch your jaw and pet his thumb down your cheek. He whispered, "Sure you're all right?"

You nodded, shaking off his touch, hating how easy it was to fall in love with him. "Just tired, pretty boy. Promise."

"All right, well... Find us later, yeah?"

"'Course."

But you didn't leave your room for three days, unable to control the vomiting spells, the blood, the pain, the petals... The gutwrenching heartache. Venetia checked on you damn near every other hour, sitting, resting your head in her lap, stroking your locks in comfort as you sobbed.

"Tell me what's happening?" She begged, unable to get it out of you yet. But you felt another wave, jumping from her embrace to rush into the restroom; sliding on your bruised knees in front of the toilet. She followed, and like her brother's done many times, gathered your hair to hold back. "Jesus fucking Christ!" She gaped, seeing the blood and long, bright yellow petals. "Are those - what the fuck is that!?"

You heaved greatly, throat shredding as blooms and stubby stems cut up your esophagus. When you stared at the devastatingly beautiful blooms coated in your blood, floating atop of the water, you looked up at your friend and confessed, "I'm in love with your brother."

"I know, babe - "

"And he doesn't feel the same," you sobbed; breaking down, panting for breath, Venetia dropping to your level to pull you into her chest. "I-I-I left him the letter, Ven, I-I-I asked him to meet me..."

"He didn't show?"

"I waited hours!" You wailed, finally breaking down after the past couple of years caught up to you. "He never came! An-And then, he shows up with flowers - with fucking sunflowers! - acting as if he never saw my letter! Acting as if he didn't know! Like - Like it's easier to ignore than confront!"

"Oh, sweet girl," she whispered, gently rocking you both as you couldn't catch your breath.

Neither of you attended dinner that evening. Felix showed up again, like he had everyday, asking if you were hungry while holding a plate of toast and mug of tea. But you had passed out in Venetia's arms, the fake blonde waving her brother away, doing her best not to snap at him - remembering she made you a promise that she wouldn't interfere. You feared if she got involved, you really would be asked to leave Saltburn and you had nowhere else to go.

The following morning, you were up before Venetia.

"Hey," she grunted, stretching in your bed after spending the night. "You all right? What're you doing?"

"Goin' for a run," you answered, lacing your trainers.

"How do you feel?"

"Well," you sighed, "pretty fucking foolish, but it's summer. Yeah? Best not to dwell on what I can't have..."

"But it's killing you, love," she sat up.

"I'll get over it," you assured, not believing yourself. "If he can act as if nothing's happened, so can I. Do me a favor, though, love?"

"Anything."

"Sit between us?"

She frowned, watching you head out of the room. When she peered from the window, she saw you setting off around the ground and flopped back into bed for another hour.

"Oh, there you are!" Elspeth gasped when you entered the dining room that morning - jetting out of her chair. "Oh, darling, are you all right? Gave us a fright - thought you were sick or something!"

"Just a wee stomach bug, I promise," you accepted her embrace.

"I'm glad you've joined us," she whispered. "Felix has been dreadfully annoying."

"I can hear you, Mum," Felix groaned when you two pulled back. "Ven, hop down one," He told his sister.

"No, no, stay put, love, I can sit here," you assured the siblings, taking the seat on the other side of the sister.

Felix frowned instantly. "Don't think I've ever seen you two sit apart all these years," Sir James teased, reaching to pat your hand. "Good to have you join us, darling."

"Thank you," you whispered, Duncan placing a plate before you.

"How come she's served?" Ollie wondered without thinking.

"Miss Y/N has been unwell," Duncan replied stiffly.

"Oh, tell the truth, Duncan," you smirked, "I'm just your favorite."

It spurred the family on, Farleigh offering you a look of confusion from across the table. You waved him off, not once looking to your left at Felix - only ever answering Venetia by looking directly at her, avoiding her brother.

Felix felt something in his gut shift as you avoided him more and more. Venetia all but moved into your room, or you into hers - not wanting you alone in this time of duress. Meaning, each time Felix tried to get you alone for questioning, his sister was driving him away. When hanging out as a group, you no longer were at Felix's side, but opted for Venetia and Farleigh's.

It left a gaping hole for Ollie to fill - happily.

"Did I do something, you think?" He asked Oliver one day, floating in the lake, watching you braid Ven's hair as she read from her copy of The Half-Blood Prince.

"No, just maybe," Ollie shrugged, "it's, I don't know, girl stuff?"

"I'm her best mate, she never avoids me like this," Felix frowned. Oliver hated how genuinely hurt Felix sounded. "Seriously, what did I do?"

"I couldn't say, mate. Maybe just let her cool off, come to you when ready," he advised, watching Felix nod sadly and stare at you from behind his sunnies. He craved Felix's attention that you so effortlessly warranted.

You didn't sit with Felix during movie nights anymore, opting for the furthest seat on the floor at Sir James' feet. You didn't spend the night in his room once, nor let him into yours. You weren't on his tennis team. You didn't share sunbeds.

You no longer met for midnight swims, something that made Felix explicitly sad. He waited with his feet in the water, but this time, you were the one who never showed up.

You didn't sit with him at meals, making his family acutely suspicious. Yet neither of you seemed at odds - so, what were the truly worried over? You acted as if there wasn't a thing wrong, but they all noticed the sickly state you took on.

You thinned out, you barely ate a fourth of your meals, you went on runs as often as you could - even in the sweltering heat. You barely slept, creating bags under your eyes, dull, lifeless hair, and a concerning docile attitude. It was as if you were haunting the castle, barely visible, making yourself into a shell of who you once were.

You simply weren't yourself and the Cattons had no idea how to help. Elspeth sent tea to your room. Sir James let you pick movies for family movie nights, but you never seemed interested. Farleigh tried to engage you on the daily, but nothing seemed to register. Even Oliver put on a show by approaching you at the lake, sitting beside you, trying to strike a conversation.

"Sorry, Ollie, I was about t'go for a run," you eased.

"Been goin' on a lot of those. Want company?"

"No," you refused.

"Sure it's a good idea?" He asked. "Been throwing up a lot, might make it worse."

This made you freeze from where you had stood, slowly turning to look down at him. "Excuse me?" You seethed. "You spying on me?"

"I can hear yah sometimes," he nodded. "You're hiding it from the others, aren't yah? The blood, the tears... The way you're wasting away?"

From a short distance, Felix recognized the angry look and body language you wore. Slowly lowering yourself, you hissed to Ollie, "You keep your fucking mouth shut or I'll make sure you're on the first train back to fucking nowhere tomorrow morning. Hear me? You don't know shit about a Goddamn thing, you don't fucking know me, and if you're smart, you'll shut the fuck up, Oliver."

He watched you with a small smirk; standing over him before vacating the lake's shore.

That night, Oliver heard moaning from the adjoining bathroom. Upon his 'investigation', he spied Felix in the clawed-foot bathtub; steam wafting from the water, sweat beading down his skin, and bicep pumping vigorously as he pleasured himself. But what infuriated Oliver was the subtle, nearly slurred and unintelligible moan of your name from Felix's mouth. It seems, despite his best effort to drive a wedge between you two, there was lingering emotion that neither knew what to do with.

You were withering away, and Felix was self pleasuring to you.

Oliver had to up the ante, but how? You avoided the Cattons on a rotating basis - not letting any of them too close to figure out you were devastatingly ill, except Venetia. And the sister wasn't about to spill this darkening secret of yours, she was loyal to a fault.

Only Oliver seemed to know this dark little tale, figuring Felix hadn't even admitted his feelings for you to himself. Perhaps why he found relief in the tub, releasing into the water with a tear falling from his eye over the idea that you no longer wanted to sustain a friendship. It was all terribly confusing for the summer residents at Saltburn. And yet, in an effort to feel closer to Felix than you ever had, Oliver climbed into the draining bathtub and slurped Felix's cum as if it were water from The Holy Grail.

It made him feel superior. It made him feel as if he were winning an endless race. Made him feel like he was validated in pushing you out in favor of himself - no matter the history between you and the Cattons. Made him feel like he was solidifying himself amongst the distant royalty and you were giving reason to be thrown out of Saltburn.

But he would underestimate the power of family.

He got a little too cocky the night he met Venetia outside, in the moonlight, with Farleigh watching from his window.

The following morning, there was a pounding at your door - a rare night Ven didn't sleep with you. When you opened the door, Felix came pushing in, looking purely distraught.

"Look, I know you're pissed at me for whatever reason - but I fucking need to talk to you, okay? Please - I-I feel like I'm about to lose my mind, Y/N, love, please - "

"What's happened?" You asked, shutting the door. "I was about to head out - "

"Please, love! Please!"

"Christ Almighty, all right, the fuck's goin' on with you? Hey? Looks like you're gonna give yourself a stroke," you approached him, caressing his bicep. "What happened?"

"He kissed her."

"Come again?"

"Fucking Ollie - Oliver! He fucking kissed Venetia!"

"When?"

"Last night, Farleigh saw them."

"Oh, love, c'mon, you know Farleigh doesn't like Ollie."

"So, he's lying? You think he's lying?"

"I didn't say that, but you're all worked up. C'mon, just breathe for a minute, gonna pass out from the way you're huffin' and puffin'."

"Please, be serious! This is serious!"

"I know it is, I'm just trying to be rational."

"So, Farleigh's lying."

"Well, I don't think so - kinda a huge lie t'tell, innit?"

"I thought so," he snapped, hand through his hair in anxiety. "I-I mean, how could he? How could Ollie do this - I-I mean, my sister? My fucking sister?"

"Love, if you're this worked up, just go talk to him," you tried. "Ask Ollie point-blank what happened."

"Would you ask Venetia?"

"No, darling, that's not how this works."

"Well, how will we know who's lying? Farleigh or Ollie?"

"I don't know - is this even something to lie about? What did Farleigh say?"

"He saw them - tonguing - practically eating each other!"

You sighed, "Love? You're not gonna want t'hear this."

"God, what?"

"Venetia's a big girl, she can tongue and eat who she pleases."

"It's bad form, though, innit? I mean - he's my friend, my guest, here under my invitation, and he gets with my sister?"

You shrugged slightly, "I don't know, Fi, but she's allowed to do as she pleases; Ollie, too. It's not like either are dating someone, hey? What? You jealous? Of your sister?"

"Fuck off with that, know that's not it," he snapped again.

"What is it, then?"

"It's another Eddie situation!"

You sighed, "Fi... You can't horde people, right? Ollie bein' here, he's free game to you, Farleigh, Ven."

"And you?"

"Fuck no, lad gives me the creeps," you blanched.

"Still?"

"Yeah, fuckin' still. Call it intuition, but there's something off, Felix. I know you don't want to hear it, but when I have ever been wrong? Huh? Tell me."

"You've not been."

"Exactly - I know a leech when I see one. So, you draw your assumptions, but perhaps what Farleigh saw is true, perhaps not - but you'll get more answers by confronting the truth than ignoring it."

He sighed, dropping to your bed, shaking his head. "Well..." He mumbled, "What do you think?"

You paused, "Doesn't matter."

"Does to me. Please, love, it's Eddie again and I don't - "

"All right," you relented, sitting beside him. "My money's on... Something happened, it's just a matter of what, exactly. How about we go to breakfast, see what the energy is there."

"Feels like I can't stomach anything."

"Your mother and father will be upset if we don't go down, c'mon," you whispered, standing, offering your hand. "I'll sit with you, and if you get upset, you can just lean into me, yeah?"

He took your hand, but didn't get up. He just stared at where you were conjoined, rubbing your hand with his thumb. "Does this mean we're fine? That things are... Are things okay between us?"

"Never not been fine, Fi."

"You've avoided me since we got here."

"I've been dealing with shit - "

"That you won't tell me about," he scoffed.

"Yeah," you agreed, his eyes shooting up to meet yours, "you're right, I won't tell you 'cause I can't yet. I want answers first... Then we can talk. I've gotta figure this out for myself, Fi."

"Well, I can help, you know?"

"No, you've helped plenty," you alluded. "C'mon, breakfast."

"Fuck's sake," he grumbled, finally standing, but tightening his grip on your hand. You lead the way to the terrace the Cattons decided to dine at that morning, being the last two to arrive.

There were two seats side-by-side.

"Good morning," you greeted the family that took you in, Felix silent and angry as he took his seat - but still pulled yours out.

"Morning."

"Good morning, darlings," Elspeth breathed from the head of the table.

"You sleep well?" Ollie asked as Felix whipped his cloth napkin to his lap.

"No, not really, mate," he grit, not looking at the boy and instead, reached for your hand. You handed him a cigarette, placing your own between your lips - both forgoing morning meals.

"We're 30 for dinner tomorrow night," Sir James informed the table. "Stopford Sackville has cried off."

"Oh, dear, that's a shame," Elspeth feigned sympathy.

"God, I forgot about fucking dinner," Felix tilted his head back, speaking between his stick as you lit the end of yours - then reaching for his after nudging his bulging bicep to warrant his immediate attention.

"Wait, who is coming to dinner, again?" Farleigh asked.

"The Henrys," Ven reminded.

"No, please!" Farleigh whined quietly.

"Who are the Henrys?" Ollie asked.

"Dad's friends," Ven filled in, Felix glaring at you as you laced your hand with his and squeezed in warning. "They're all called Henry."

"Not all of them," James corrected. "Just most."

"It'll be fun," Elspeth assured.

"It'll be being molested by Henry," Ven continued, swallowing a bite of croissant. "You know which one."

"Oh, I'll put you next to Oliver, then, he can molest you instead," Elspeth quipped, Felix strangling your hand.

"Don't," you whispered, Ollie's head cocking at Ven in an unspoken conversation. She hummed an amused chuckle. Felix glared at them both before looking back at you, silently begging you to let him snap. "Not right now, please, just breathe," you whispered in his ear, ensuring none others heard you.

"Oh, Oliver, I was going to say, we should do something fun for your birthday. Y/N's is at the end of the summer, we can combine efforts! A proper party! No Henrys, something actually fun. What do you think, darling?"

"Mum, you know Y/N doesn't celebrate anymore," Felix seethed with offense.

"Oh, I know, but it might be fun - a combination party?" She offered. "Darling?"

"If Oliver and Y/N would like it, I think it's a splendid idea," James agreed with his wife.

"I think Oliver looks like he'd rather throw himself out of a window," Farleigh chimed, everyone knowing to avoid asking you your thoughts since you couldn't celebrate without your parents - it just felt wrong. Like a betrayal. So, you no longer celebrated the day of your birth, but the Cattons looked for any reason to throw a party.

"What kind of party?" Oliver asked Elspeth.

"I don't know, whatever you want!" She insisted. "What do you think? About 100 people?"

"A hundred?"

"Or two! It invariably ends up being two, doesn't it, with this sort of thing?" She asked her husband, who hummed in amusement. She told Ollie, "Invite whoever you want. All your friends."

"What friends?" Farleigh leered.

"Oh! Oh!" James folded his paper messily in excitement, jumping to attention, "How about fancy dress?"

Ollie reached over and nudged Felix in curiosity, picking up on his angry demeanor. Your best mate looked down at you, making you lean your chin on his shoulder. "Oh, yes!" Mrs. Catton agreed.

"I can wear my suit of armor, Elspeth!" James giddily exclaimed with a childlike grin that made your heart weep gently.

"Good idea, darling," she agreed as Venetia stood hastily from the table; all knowing where she was going, and what she was going to do. "We could have a theme!" She distracted, you watching Venetia and knowing you needed to follow. She'd been caring for you in your illness, you could at least hold her hair back, too. "What about Midsummer Night's Dream?" Elspeth looked around for opinions.

"Lovely," James prasied.

"Bring on the slutty fairies," Farleigh mused.

"Awh, lovie, you'll still be the sluttiest fairy, don't worry," you teased, glancing back again and seeing Venetia escape inside.

"You wanna match my sluttiness?" He asked you.

"As if that was ever in question," you shot back, Felix offering you a small look. "I'll be right back," you excused yourself, standing from your seat but bending at the waist. You whispered in Felix's ear, "I've gotta go, 'M sorry, just keep calm, love. You're all right."

"Find me later," he requested, holding your hand a moment longer before letting you escape.

"So," James grinned as you walked away, leaning in towards his son, "how are things with you two?"

"Yes, darling, you two seem better! Did you finally tell her how you feel?" Elspeth asked.

If Felix was surprised by his parents knowledge, he didn't show; instead scoffing lightly, "Yeah, right..."

"Oh, darling - "

"She doesn't feel the same, Mum," he refused, sighing deeply - making Oliver's stomach coil. "Just leave it, all right? We're just friends, only ever gonna be just friends - she's part of the family. No need to mess all that up."

Farleigh smirked subtly and took a drag from his cigarette.

While hosting the Henrys for dinner, you felt another tide turn while sitting amongst the rich and fabulous. You knew them all, of course, grew up knowing them and attending these dinners with your parents. But something was amiss, something churned your stomach and clenched your heart.

You felt your chest tickle and tighten, the desperate need to cough nearly strangling you; Oliver paying close attention to your struggle from beside Felix. You coughed unexpectedly, seeing blood splatter onto your plate and without a single person noticing, you got up, excused yourself, and rushed from the dinner table with a hand over your mouth. Duncan swiftly cleared your place setting.

"Hear that, love?" Felix turned to look at you, only finding an empty seat. He looked around in case you were mingling, not spying you, and slowly got to his feet.

"Where are you going, darling?" James asked, "Sit, sit - "

"I'm only going to check on Y/N," he explained.

"No, no, sit, sit, sit, we know she's been fighting her stomach all summer," James waved off, and slowly, Felix went against his instinct and sat down. Venetia felt her heart steel in annoyance, wishing her brother would just wake up and realize what was happening.

When Oliver caught Venetia's eye, she questioned, "Felix warned you off, then?"

"Well, maybe we just need to be a bit more careful," he hushed.

"No, thanks," Ven refused, not one to sneak around her own home to satisfy her brother's jealously and possessiveness. "It's just sooooo disappointing," she snipped. "You're just another one of his toys."

"Like Y/N?"

"Y/N's not a toy," she barked.

"You're upset," Oliver noted.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm used to it - honestly. I mean, he never liked sharing his toys. Even the ones he doesn't want to play with anymore."

Oliver cocked his head, wondering, "Well, he's kept Y/N around this long."

"Y/N isn't a toy, Oliver, not to Felix, not to this family," she sneered in anger. "And he won't ever grow tired of her, she doesn't hold a temporary position in his life - unlike most." She chuckled dryly, "Honestly, do you not get it by now? She's the gatekeeper, and you're just a passing interest. You won't ever truly be his because she already is, and there's no replacing Y/N L/N - not to Felix, not in this lifetime." She offered a fake smile and turned from him to face her left, distracted by one of the Henrys.

Oliver knew all that, and he was working on removing you from the portrait - but it seemed, maybe he didn't have to work too hard. A rare disease had infected you the moment Oliver Quick laid eyes on Felix Catton - eating away at you internally, making you lose interest in yourself, plaguing you with self doubt to the point you couldn't look in a mirror without seeing a stranger. When Oliver decided to act against the pretty, rich boy, he started a chain of events that lead here: him, in a tux, at a dinner party, and you, shattering the frail skin on your knees from how hard you dropped to them - spewing blood, wine, and sunflower blossoms.

You choked harshly, make up ruined from your blood, sweat, and tears; hacking out most of a put-together flower. Your throat was shredded, dripping blood down into your lungs to slowly fill them again - floral growth breaking the barrier of your organs, sending unimaginable pain through your body.

You heard the karaoke begin, heaving over the sounds of drunken antics. You slowly crawled out of the bathroom, sniffling as you used your bed to lift your fragile body to your feet only to strip from your gown and crash into bed. Weakness invaded your muscles, exhaustion coated your bones, and your eyes stung with the endless supply of tears that would stain your cheeks.

Morning came far too quickly, and with it, Farleigh's forced departure from Saltburn. You were all dreadfully confused, Venetia explaining he'd been caught nicking items from around the house to sell for a profit - perhaps feeling desperate, wanting to help his mother without needing to ask for the help.

You weren't sure what to say to the situation, so you said nothing, but felt desperate to scream for your own help at the top of your lungs. The closer Ollie's birthday drew, the more you bent over the toilet, the more blooms that tore from your lungs and esophagus. You were at a loss over what to do, fearing you were too late for a doctor, and on the hottest day of the year, while everyone was outside by the water, you were inside, scouring the vast and random library.

"Miss," Duncan leered from behind you, no longer causing fright. "Is there something I can help you locate?"

"No, I'm just doin' some more research, Duncan, thank you, though."

"On what's wrong, Miss?"

"Yeah," you frowned, storing another book. "Nothing answers my questions, nothing explains this condition."

"Hm," he considered, "may I?"

"Please," you gestured him forward, watching in mild curiosity as he moved the ladder, ascended, looked over the spines of the many books and then made his selection.

"I've read every book in this library, and think this might help," He explained, handing you the dark green book about Japanese lore and watching you instantly finger through it.

You eyed him for a moment, asking, "You haven't told them, have you?"

"I found your request for privacy reasonable," he nodded, "and have not told the masters of the house."

You nodded, breathing in relief. "I promise, I'll tell them soon - when I figure this out."

"I think you already have," he mentioned, glancing at the open book in your hands. When you looked down, you had paused on a page titled: Hanahaki Disease.

The chapter was filled with detailed accounts of previous patients and sufferers; all giving a recollection of their battle with the unknown illness. You looked up at Duncan in shock, rereading the passage that told you what you needed to know:

"Hanahaki Disease can be fatal by making the infected vomit flora; either just petals or full blooms. There are three known variations of the disease, but all are caused by unrequited love - making the process often long, drawn out, and incredibly painful. The first variation involves the infected confessing their love to their desired, and that love being returned. This is the cleanest way to cure Hanahaki Disease. The second variation includes the desired not returning the known affection, leaving the infected to undergo surgery, a viable but messy recovery. The operation removes the plants growing in the lungs, but in turn, also removes all known traces and memory of the desired - but it does result in the infected being cured. The third and final variation is the worst, where the infected confesses, the desired does not return any affection or want, and leaves them to suffer until the bitter, bloody end. Without care or caution, this disease can become unmanageable with common side effects including but not limited to: blood loss, weight loss, avoidance, isolation, fear of food, fear of living, fear of affection, miscommunication, blood from other bodily orifices, and uncontrollable depression, anxiety, and other mental afflictions. Most infected never fully recover from the aftermath of this disease, and even when their love is returned, they are often haunted by the damaging effects of unrequited love."

You stared at the passage in shock, looking up slowly to spy Duncan staring at you in pity.

"I had a companion like you are to Mr. Felix, once," he confessed. "I was dedicated to my job, loyal to the Cattons, and in turn, he suffered greatly because I couldn't love him how he deserved." Duncan blinked at you twice in the silence that stretched between you. "My advice, Miss? Do not wait - you should come clean to Mr. Felix, let him decide how he feels, and should he not return your affection, I will take you personally to the hospital, where you might choose to undergo the procedure."

"And lose all memory of Felix? Of the Cattons? Of Saltburn?" You asked in desperation, tears swelling in your sunken eyes. "Not likely, Duncan, they're my family. I couldn't bear to forget them, even if it means I should live - I wouldn't be alive anymore. Not without him, not without this family that took me in without a moment's hesitation. I'd lose myself."

"But you'd have the chance to discover something new," he argued gently. "You have your own decisions to make, Miss, but I can only tell you my deepest regret was being so far up Sir James' arse that I missed the life that passed me by. And now," he sighed, "I live with the fact that I condemned my beautiful Roger."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Duncan..."

"I do not wish to see you suffer more than you have been," he frowned. "But I understand the fear you have, emotions are terrifying, especially for the young. But love is not conditional, Miss... Remember that. And having only a part of Mr. Felix would result in losing yourself entirely, whereas losing a part of him would result in you rediscovering all you are. Just... Just something to think about."

"How did you find this?" You asked softly.

"After Roger, I had no reason to care for much else other than the written accounts of those who passed before me. It felt like I was given a life to live, if only vicariously. I've read them all," he reminded, gesturing to the grand library, "and when I found this, I knew I had my answers. That being afraid costs us more than being brave."

You read the book in its entirety. You soaked in every recorded account.

Duncan's words weighed on your heart, and the last few nights leading up to Oliver's party were spent on bruised knees. Venetia still slept in your room a few nights a week, begging you to seek medical attention, and you promised her, after the party, you'd take action. She didn't need to know you were lying just yet.

But as it seemed, your lies were minuscule in comparison to others.

The day of the party arrived, Felix taking Ollie out for a drive as a birthday present. Where their destination was, you didn't know, you couldn't care, because watching them drive off the property dropped you to the ground as your heart felt as if it were physically shattered. You couldn't breath, the sunflowers strangling you from the inside, and after watching the love of your life drive off with another lad, you felt as if your fate was sealed.

That was it.

He didn't love you, he had Ollie. There was only so much love to be given at a time, and Ollie soaked it all up. You didn't stand a chance, you knew Felix's infatuation was out of control with Ollie's pitiful background piquing his interest. You felt like old news, you felt abandoned, alone, cold, heartless...

"What're you wearing tonight?" Venetia asked, tossing pieces of clothing around. "Felix is wearing these sort of golden wings, want to match?"

"What are you wearing, love? Maybe I'll match with you?"

"No, no," she grinned, "I've just found the perfect outfit for you!"

She squealed in excitement, turning to show you the dress seemingly made out of strips of fabric and a corset; creating an ethereal look and design. The color was pale, moss green with shimmering pale golds and nudes paired amongst the fabric. It created an illusion that the mini dress moved and swished around your thighs, and when she handed you golden gladiator sandals, you were sold.

Venetia spent more time helping you get ready than she did herself. She ensured your hair was pinned off your neck, that your make-up was mystical and covered in glitter, corset cinched at the waist to show your figure, and that you had a smaller pair of golden wings to top off your slutty fairy look.

Farleigh would've been proud.

The dress showed off your back, only thin straps keeping it in place as the wings were small enough that you weren't hidden under them. You showed more skin in that dress than you had all summer, your thinning frame tailored under Venetia's talented fingers.

Her hands clapped when you showed her the final look.

"Love the spider web chain," you complimented, clipped her in.

"Sure?"

"It's a look, Ven, you're stunning," you complimented, smiling at your friend with genuine kindness. "C'mon, I think I can hear people arriving."

Once more, Venetia squealed and snatched your hand, racing from her room and leading you into the party on the grounds as the sun was beginning to set. After greeting Elspeth and Sir James, complimenting their chosen costumes, you were sucked into a night of young debauchery; Venetia pinned to your side.

And thankfully, she was there to witness the moment you gave up. Moving through one of the darkened rooms, you were mingling with old classmates, happy to see familiar, friendly faces, and just as you turned, your glass shattered to the floor with the last bit of your heart and composure.

You saw Felix, clear as day, dancing with none other then fucking India - the girl you felt most in competition with, besides Annabel. He was so close to her, they were practically fucking; seemingly distracted by one another, they didn't even notice the party.

"Oh, love," Ven turned to you, but you just gave her a pained look.

"I'm gonna go," you rushed.

"No, wait - "

"I need to be alone, Ven," you insisted, the tears starting as your chest felt too tight in the crowded room. "I told you, I fucking told you, he doesn't feel the same," you sniffled, her eyes widening as you felt a familiar metallic taste in your mouth.

When your hand lifted, you smeared blood from your lips and nostrils, blinking in recognition - knowing what was to come next.

"I-I-I have to go, 'M sorry," you rushed, blood oozing and dripping down your neck in artistic scribbles. You didn't bother hiding this time, turning from your fellow drunkards to escape outside - heading for the maze, like you always did when needing to be alone.

Your room wasn't safe, anyone could find you there. The entire home was overrun with party-goers. The grounds surrounding Saltburn unsafe for your breakdown, as well.

So, you raced to the one place you felt safe anymore: the maze.

Your blood stained the shrubbery as you stumbled through it, trying to hold together, but the moment you reached the Minotaur statue, your legs gave up, mud squishing to your knees, and instantly coughing, hacking, and heaving blood from your lungs.

Long, pretty bright yellow sunflower petals came out in an abundance, the most it's ever been, before you were vomiting full blooms again.

You felt woozy, dizzy... Less than human.

You just wanted it to stop.

When you left Venetia's side, she noted you beelining outside and knew immediately where you had run off to. In unfiltered anger, she turned and shoved through the crowd up to her brother, grabbed him by the strap of his wife beater, and yanked him after her.

"Oi! Hey, hey, hey, Venetia! What the fuck are you doing!?"

"You've fucked up!" She raged, ignoring the looks from others and lead him outside so they could hear each other.

"Are you out of your mind?" He demanded.

"Are you!?" She sneered. "The fuck are you doing!?"

"What?" He scoffed, "What am I doing wrong, dancing at our party? Hmm?"

"With that skank!?"

"Hey!" India barked, having followed them outside.

"This doesn't concern you!" Ven barked, Felix feeling on-edge with his sister so enraged.

"You're talkin' about me, I think it does!"

"Ven, what the hell's gotten into you - "

"It's about Y/N!"

Felix froze for a moment, then looked at India, "Go inside."

"What!?"

"Piss off, India! She's right, this doesn't concern you!" He snapped, the girl scurrying away with her tail tucked firmly between her legs. When Felix looked at his sister, he demanded in a rush, "What about Y/N? Where even is she - "

"I promised her I wouldn't intervene, I swore I wouldn't say anything - especially to you, but you're such a fucking idiot, if you're not fed anything, you don't get it!"

"Is this really the time to insult me?"

She glared, steeling her jaw and gritting, "Y/N's in the maze."

"Okay? She goes there - "

"No, listen to me," Ven sneered. "She's been in love with you, Farleigh and I both figured it out - but it was really fucking obvious."

Felix blanched in shock, "What?"

"She's in love with you, you fucking idiot! She's been sick the whole summer because you can't love her back!"

"How - what are you on about!?"

"She's been throwing up blood, you're honestly killing her by doing what you're doing with all these girls! By ignoring whatever you feel - by denying it repeatedly! It's not fair! All she's done is love and support you, care for you, protect you, and you're fucking killing her!"

He blinked, "She loves me?"

"Yes, you fucking imbecile! And tonight was her last straw, I fucking saw it! She lives here, you jagoff, and you're dancing with India - right in front of Y/N? In her own home? Where she's supposed to be safe!?"

"I-I didn't - I didn't know!"

"No shit, because you're both fucking idiots who talk about everything except your feelings! Do better, Felix! Now, go! She needs you to be a fucking man - go! She needs you, Felix, she's in the maze, don't fuck this up more than you have!"

He didn't hesitate to shoot off in the direction of the maze, Farleigh catching sight and pushing his brows together before realizing he was sprinting after you - I mean, who else would Felix move that fast for? Into the maze Felix went, and Farleigh knew, everything was about to change. Elspeth and Sir James didn't notice a thing, too distracted by their party, but there was another watching; a set of dead, ghostly blue eyes nearly glowing in the night as they locked onto their prey fleeing the party.

Felix sprinted his way through the maze, an expert at navigating, and when he made it to the center, his own heart constricted to a suffocating depth.

"Oh, my girl," he rushed to your side, getting on his knees and holding your weakening body as crimson dribbled from your mouth. The pool of blood was grand enough that he worried how you'd make it through the night; floating sunflowers a hauntingly beautiful sight in the dead of night. "Hey, hey, you're okay, you're all right, I got you - I'm here," he whispered, smoothing hair from your face. "It's me, it's your Felix, love, just focus on me, yeah?"

And finally, with a sniffle that did little to nothing, you looked into his eyes with yours rimmed in red. "Fi..."

"Don't talk, save your energy, I'm gonna get you somewhere safe - "

"I've gotta tell you something."

"Tell me after we get to your room, yeah?"

Your head shook, "If I wait longer, it'll get worse."

"Sweetheart, please - "

"I'm in love with you," you finally confessed to him, unable to look him in the eyes for a second longer. You stared at your demise, blood soaking into both your knees. "Have been, I think, since I moved in here," you whimpered, "and after my parents died, I fell so fucking in love with you that it hurt. But out of fear of losing this friendship, I couldn't - I couldn't tell you. And now, it's killing me, but you deserve to know: I'm so fucking in love with you, makes me physically ill. I-I can't do this anymore, Fi, I just can't - the pain is too much and I've already lost so much - "

"Felix?" Ollie called in a drunken whine, entering the center.

"Oh, Jesus Christ, man!" Felix snapped, whipping around to glare at Ollie as you folded into his chest out of sheer pain. Of course, in the midst of your confession, nobody but Oliver fucking Quick would show up. "Get out of here! Now, Ollie, I'm not fucking joking!"

"Is she all right?" He asked, stumbling a bit.

"What the fuck are you still doing here!? Get out, fucking go, this doesn't concern you!"

"We need to talk, I need to talk to you!"

"It's fine, talk t'him," you wheezed, trying to get to your feet, but failing out of sheer weakness.

"No, you need to fucking go, Ollie! Now! Y/N and I need to talk a helluva lot more than we do!"

You used his shoulders to stand, "Talk t'him, Fi, don't let this shit happen t'someone else." He glanced to your blood as you let go of him, stumbling just out of reach, towards one of the maze exits.

"We need to talk, Felix!" Ollie demanded as you slipped out of sight.

"No, you know what? Fuck you!" He barked. "You're not what's important right now, Ollie! For fuck's sake!"

"Don't go after her," Ollie sneered, stepping in Felix's way when he climbed to his feet and meant to go after you.

"Fuck is wrong with you, mate!?" Felix raged, shoving Ollie back several steps. "Hey? So fucked in the head, you think you take precedence over my girl?"

"Y-Your girl?"

"Fucking Y/N!" He shouted. "Yes! My fucking girl, that I was so blinded by you to fucking see what was wrong! Now fuck off!"

"She's nothing - "

"SHE'S FUCKING EVERYTHING!" Felix shouted, you pausing in the maze when you heard it. "You and I can talk later, if I even fucking want to, but right now, my girl needs me - not fucking you!"

"I see she's got you so blinded - "

"You think Y/N's the problem here?" Felix sneered, getting in Ollie's face; fisting the lapels of his blazer. "Huh? You blaming her?"

"No, just saying - "

"All the wrong fucking things," Felix shoved him back again. "She's all that fucking matters to me!" He shouted again, you slowly nearing the entrance into the center of the maze, remaining hidden behind a shrub. "Not you, not all your lies - but her! It's always been her, but you fucking knew that, didn't you!? You saw what we were, what we had, what we could've been, what we were dancing around, and just had to wedge yourself between us, yeah? I didn't see it before, but your fucking lies - all your fucking lies, you were trying to ruin the best thing in my life! And you might've just succeeded!"

"She doesn't deserve you! None of them do!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Oliver!?" Felix cried, "Leave me the fuck alone! Leave us the fuck alone! Leave my family the fuck alone! Christ! Please, stop!"

"We need to talk!" Ollie now approached Felix, making him back up into the statue.

"We can't - we can't, are you fucking crazy? Haven't you ruined enough!?"

"Me!?" He snarled. "I didn't ruin shit, it was her! It was all her, don't you see? You pitied us against each other, I had to do this! For you! You can't just throw me away!"

Felix lost his temper, shoving Oliver again, "Get the fuck away from me! I can! I can and I will throw you away - for her! I'd do anything for her, don't you fucking get that!? I didn't see before, but now I do, the slimy, scum you are - and I'd throw you away a hundred times if it meant being with her! Fuck out of here, leave us alone!"

Oliver shouted as he grabbed Felix's shirt, "Look, I just gave you what you wanted!" His voice lowered to a quiver, "Like everyone else does. Everyone puts on a show for Felix! So, I'm sorry that my - m-m-my performance wasn't good enough, like Y/N's always is."

You crept from the shadows, neither lad noticing; intrigued by the words being slurred, shouted, and weaponized.

"I think... I think you need to see somebody," Felix whispered, not willing to admit aloud that Oliver was scaring him. "You need help, okay? Seriously."

"No. No, I don't," Ollie sneered - sounding almost sober. "I just need you to understand how much I fucking love you."

And there it was - another confession. Your heart (or whatever was left of it) felt heavy, like it was being constricted and anchored to your feet.

Felix whispered, "I love Y/N, mate, you have to know - wasn't exactly a huge secret, except to us. To her and I, not you and I, Ollie."

You felt something akin to shock spark in your gut, blooming an unknown warmth through your body.

Oliver begged, "You're the only friend I ever had, Felix." His thumbs pet Felix's face despite him trying to wriggle away; being touched by the psychotic liar terrifying him - but no more than the feeling of dread he had watching you stumble away. "Okay... I mean, doesn't this just prove how much - how much of a good friend I actually am? How well I actually know you? I'm still the same person! Yeah?" He whimpered, "I'm still the same person."

"I don't know what you are," Felix whispered in reply. "But I do know you," he paused, confessing, "you make my fucking blood run cold." His head shook, "I know friendship - and it's not this, Ollie, it's not built on lies and deception. Y/N? She's everything to me, mate, and you tried to ruin that. You're a fucking liar, Ollie."

He gagged a little, releasing Felix to stare at him with a sense of defeat. Oliver gagged again, shoving the opened champagne to Felix's chest, muttering, "Wait there a sec," before stepping away to throw up on the opposite side of the statue. He knew the other boy wouldn't be able to resist an open bottle of alcohol.

However, Felix felt it was his opening to escape, and when he looked up, he caught sight of you.

Your finger rose to your lips in a silencing motion, glancing at a puking Oliver, and Felix didn't hesitate to drop the bottle and race for you. When his hands smoothed over either of your cheeks, he checked behind him - seeing Ollie still at a distance - stooping to scoop you in his arms, whispering, "We have to go, love, fucking now."

You agreed and let him rush away into the maze, and before you could exit, Oliver was heard bellowing, "FELIX!"

"What the fuck was all that?" You asked, hiding yourself in his neck; neither caring for the blood being stained.

"I'll explain everything in a minute, love, let me get you somewhere safe," he rushed, the party sounding around you once more. He deflected anyone who got in the way, shoulders bullying past people, ignoring his name being cried out. Up the stairs, down a hall or two, and he was rounding into your room. "All right, hang on," he deposited you on your bed, rushing into your restroom and locking all the doors except the one connecting your room. The main door was also locked.

"What's going on?" You asked.

"He's a liar," Felix panted, wrangling from his wings as he approached you. "But it doesn't matter right now - what matters is our truth. You were interrupted before, but I have to tell you, sweetheart, that your affection isn't one-sided. Okay?" He knelt before you, taking both cheeks in hand. "You're not alone in this, I-I should've told you so much sooner, but I love you, too. No, no, I'm - I'm in love with you and I'm so sorry I didn't say it. Hear me? I'm in love with you, Y/N, I'm so sorry I was selfish, that I didn't see the pain you were in that I was causing."

"Wasn't your fault," you whispered.

"It's all my fault."

"I should've said something, too."

"You're the one who's been suffering all this time, this is on me. Okay?" His head shook, wiping the streams of blood from your nose and lips. "You're a fucking wreck, darling, should've said something so much sooner - saved you from all this pain."

"I was afraid, and didn't want you to know."

"I made you feel as if you couldn't talk to me," his head shook. "Listen to me, I-I have to go warn Mum and Dad about Oliver, but you stay here - "

"You're not leaving," you insisted. "Call Venetia's cell or Farleigh's, tell them whatever you're worried about, and stay here, with me, where you're safe. I don't know what I heard, but I don't think Ollie's well in the head and he's gonna gun for you."

He sighed, "They won't answer. The party's - "

"Just try..."

He agreed and grabbed his cell phone from his pocket, dialing his sister as he got you a wet cloth. She answered when he was knelt in front of you again, wiping the remnants of your near-death experience from your face as he explained at a rapid speed a condensed version of events.

When Venetia assured she would tell Elspeth and James, he hung up and brought you in for a tight hug. "Should've told you," he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"I am, too," you whimpered, holding onto his neck tightly.

"C'mon," he sighed, pulling back to gaze at you, "let's get you changed and in bed - 's been a fucking nightmare tonight."

"How fitting."

"How so?"

You half-smirked, "A Midsummer Nightmare's Dream, innit?" He matched your fleeting amusement.

That night, you and Felix slept beside each other in a secure and locked room; both unconscious when Oliver approached your door and tried to get in before being apprehended by two footmen. He was locked in the basement for the night, given the chance to sober up before morning, when the police would be phoned.

When the sun broke the horizon, Felix woke with a start. You were already awake, looking up at his pale face, begging him to tell you the truth behind Oliver. He looked as if he would be sick, giving you a detailed summary of what happened the day before - all the lies Ollie told, how his parents were alive, well, and very kind. How nothing he's told Felix was true - all some form of fucked up lie to make him seem more broken for Felix's endearment.

"Am I that bad, love?" He asked in a hushed tone.

"No, you're just... You just have an affinity for broken things," you answered. "And he gave you what you wanted, tenfold."

"I feel so stupid."

"For being kind?" You shook your head, caressing his cheek.

"Not very kind t'let you suffer in silence, was it?"

"You couldn't have known how bad it all was, I wasn't exactly truthful either."

"You protected yourself, while Ollie... Ollie put on a fucking show to get attention, to seem so different, make me feel like I'd be a fool to ignore him," he scoffed. "I'm so sorry, love," he whispered, resting his forehead against yours. "But I meant what I said - you're fucking everything to me and I'd throw everyone away if it meant being with you - keeping you."

It felt so good to assure him, "You have me, Felix. 'M not goin' anywhere."

He smiled gently, sighing in relief, asking, "Can I kiss you now? Please, love, think we've waited plenty long enough."

You didn't answer, you only lifted you lips to his and sealed your fate - meshing into one heart, soul, and one being. Two halves, made whole; cut from the same cloth and stitched together. His tongue swept across the seam of your lips, mingling with yours and never knowing when he had felt so complete while kissing a woman.

Because he hadn't. Everyone else before you was a place holder, temporary, a fleeting interest. You were a part of him, never wanting to experience life without the other, but as the house slowly woke up, you were both reminded of reality...

There was still a madman to be dealt with, and Felix wanted a front row viewing to ensure Oliver Quick was truly gone and your lives in a relationship could finally start.

requesting rules and masterlist

Saltburn masterlist

other Hanahaki Disease fics:

featuring: Eddie Munson from Stranger Things

Cherry Blossom Colored Kisses

Tears in the Rain

Gone with the Sin

[iamgonnagetyouback]

I chose ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ɪɴ ᴀ ꜱʜᴇʟʟ! So, my favorite trope is childhood friends to lovers, my favorite character is Barty (Regulus and Remus are close seconds <3) and my favorite song is From the start by Laufey!

Also, Congrats on getting 1k! <333

— 🩰

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀────۶ৎ from the start

synopsis: ever since you were kids, barty has always been dramatic, always rambling about something or someone, and you've always listened. but lately, it hurts—especially when he talks about soulmates that aren't you. so you start pulling away, just a little, hoping he won’t notice. but he does. and for once, barty crouch jr. has to figure out what’s actually wrong instead of just being dramatic about it content warnings: mutual pining but one of them is oblivious (it's barty, obviously), angst with comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, happy ending because you guys deserve it trope ➺ childhood best friends to lovers author's note: thank you for celebrating with me, love ♡

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᡣ𐭩 words.ᐟ 840

You and Barty had always been close—the kind of friendship that feels as natural as breathing. Growing up side by side, you shared secrets, dreams, and late-night conversations, filling the spaces between with laughter and endless teasing. But somewhere along the way, your heart had gotten involved, quietly aching as Barty spoke of other people, other “soulmates” who couldn’t possibly understand him the way you did. And he, blissfully oblivious, would wax poetic about them all, not realizing how his words chipped away at you.

Your shoulders slumped as you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling while Barty’s voice played in your head: "She's so perfect, isn't she? A real spark of life!"

You’d nod, as you always did, trying to be the supportive friend. But when his words settled in the silence, you couldn’t help but retreat, the hurt settling in your chest like a bruise. You found yourself slipping away from him bit by bit, creating excuses to be alone, filling your time with anyone but him. And it was like he didn’t notice at first—or maybe he did and didn’t care. Either way, he didn’t ask why you’d been distant, and that stung more than you wanted to admit.

You tried to find solace with Pandora, who was more perceptive than you’d given her credit for. “He’s an idiot,” she told you one night, blunt as ever. “But not a lost cause.”

Her words gave you a flicker of hope, but it didn’t make the pain any easier. Barty continued to parade his romantic woes in front of you, and you just got quieter, hoping he’d notice that the silence was swallowing you up. And finally, after a particularly painful conversation, you couldn’t take it anymore. The ache had become too loud to ignore, so you started avoiding him altogether.

The change was subtle, at first. You stopped sitting next to him in the common room, excused yourself early when he came around, and lingered behind when you saw him in the corridors. And Barty, for all his dramatics, finally seemed to realize something was wrong.

He went to Regulus first, who was absolutely perplexed. “You’re the one who keeps talking about soulmates and other girls in front of her,” Regulus pointed out with a sigh. “Maybe, I don’t know, don’t do that?”

Evan was less helpful. “Just buy her chocolate or flowers or something,” he said, shrugging as if that would solve everything. “You two are friends.”

But Pandora, in her gentle yet firm way, didn’t hold back. “You’re missing the point, Barty. She cares about you—a lot more than you realize. You’ve been so wrapped up in yourself that you’ve ignored her feelings.” She crossed her arms, eyes sharp. “Figure out what you want, or you’ll lose her.”

It took him a few days, but finally, the puzzle pieces started clicking into place. He looked back on your long silences, your averted gazes, and the way your laughter sounded a bit more forced than usual. And for the first time, he realized that maybe you hadn’t been simply “supportive.” Maybe you’d been hurting in ways he hadn’t seen.

He found you in the library one evening, tucked away in a corner with a book in hand. You glanced up, startled, as he sat down beside you, and the quiet tension settled between you like a weight.

“Why are you avoiding me?” His voice was softer than usual, stripped of its usual theatrics.

You looked away, biting your lip. “I’m not avoiding you.”

“Liar,” he whispered, almost playfully, but there was a seriousness in his eyes you hadn’t seen before. “You’ve been pulling away, haven’t you, Treasure?”

Your heart pounded, feeling exposed under his gaze. But you couldn’t lie to him, not anymore. “Maybe I got tired of listening to you go on about soulmates and ‘perfect’ girls who aren’t…who aren’t me.”

The confession hung in the air, raw and vulnerable, and you wanted to take the words back the moment they slipped out. But Barty’s expression softened, guilt shadowing his features.

“I didn’t know…” His voice was barely above a whisper, and he reached out, his hand hovering just above yours. “I was so wrapped up in everything else that I missed what was right in front of me. I’m sorry.”

You swallowed, looking down at your hands, the ache in your chest throbbing. “I didn’t want to lose you,” you whispered. “But it hurts, Barty. It really hurts.”

He took a deep breath, looking more sincere than you’d ever seen him. “You won’t lose me. I won’t let that happen.” He took your hand, and there was an intensity in his gaze that made your heart stutter. “I can’t promise I’ll get everything right. But I’ll try. I’ll try for you.”

You let out a shaky breath, a small smile tugging at your lips. “You’d better,” you murmured, letting yourself feel that familiar warmth for the first time in a while.

And as he squeezed your hand, you knew you were both where you belonged.

© iamgonnagetyouback ⋆.˚ please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my work.

[superums]

why do i cry — 42! miles prt 2.

spidey!reader. angst with happy ending. for general audiences. (cannon) character death. no y/n. childhood friends to crush to enemies to lovers. no official confession but a official confession. part 2 of this fic. somewhat of a accidental confession trope

color coded text: miles. you/spidey.

inspired by: why do i cry - margo guryan

"miles?" you felt like throwing up all over again, looking at the boy you've loved for almost all your life talking down to you. you were almost living the worst day of your life all over again.

you closed your eyes, expecting another barrage of punches only to be met with a hand grabbing your mask. you grabbed his arm but you were too weak to stop him.

in a instant your face was met with the cold snowflakes falling from the sky. readjusting your eyes you saw him standing over you. time stood still—what was a few seconds felt like years, decades.

your body loved faster then your mind did, snatching your mask, you put it back on before leaving him in your wake.

that entire week you genuinely felt sick with heart break. your mother tried to get you out of bed many times but she each time she came your face was wet with fresh tears.

you couldn't tell her why, you didn't want anyone else thinking less of you. instead you told her "i just need time.. please."

she gave you space, cooking your favorite meal every single day until you felt better and each time you did think you were getting better, the image of miles standing over you would come back making you feel sick all over again.

in the four weeks it was almost like you stopped existing from anyplace but your bedroom and in your absence crime started to pick up again, and so did the complaints from the media.

"some hero spidey is huh? kingpin robs bank after bank and that useless web-head is nowhere to be found?! new york this just shows we can't trust that sorry excuse of a hero for anything!"

jonah jameson yelled into his camera—he wasn't alone. from all over new york, anchors were throwing every professional name they could think of at you, miles felt like he was the blame.

in the weeks you've been gone his mind has yet to calm. he was about to kill you, if he didn't take off your mask theres no telling what he would've done.

he's been trying to stay away from you, but now crime is risen and theres been several threats that someone is going to attack the brooklyn bridge he knew he had to find you.

now he's standing in your bedroom. he almost stopped breathing as he stopped your still frame. walking closer, he sat next to your feet gently as he could. it took him forever before he opened his mouth.

"i..." he looked at his gauntlet. "i'm sorry for what i did... what i said." the lack of light of your room hid his the sick look on his face. your eyes were wide open and watering slightly as you saw his dark figure from the moonlight outside.

"i did believe what they said about you—how you killed my father... how you're a murderer... a cowardly killer. maybe since it was....maybe since it was him, it was easier for me to believe." you almost felt sick as you saw him wiping his face and sniffling; he was trying not to cry.

you listened as miles talked to himself out loud; he says that he didn't know how to handle jeffs death and that uncle aaron was the only person he felt like he could turn to.

that he worried his mom because he's out so late and bearly talks to anyone anymore but he has to provide for her now that his dads gone.

it takes him a while to stop talking and after that he sits in your room in silence almost like he was going to say something else, instead he heads to your window.

your open eyes stared into the darkness corners of your room as you contemplated stopping him. you wanted to let him go, you wanted to hate him but your heart wouldn't allow it—grabbing his hand you stopped him in his tracks.

whipping his head to face you, you stood on your knees in your bed, you were visibly disheveled, even shaking as you held his hqnd. "miles, i....." you were fighting back vomit and tears as you looked at the boy you love.

it didn't seem appropriate, he just confessed he wanted to kill you because of the news and that he wanted to make you pay—but you can't hold this in any longer. for as long as you could remember you've wanted to confess to him, now this might be the last time you see him ever you have to get it off your chest.

"miles...i like you—no i love you... even after what you said to me on that roof top." it felt like the world stopped for both you and him, his heart fastened as he stared at you. you closed your eyes, expecting him to leave, to say he had a girlfriend even laugh again you but instead you were met with a hug.

his gloved hand rubbed your back and his head burring itself into your shoulder. "i don't know what i'd do if you didn't..." you two cradled each other for a while before separating to look each other in the eyes. "i didnt mean to hurt you." he says after a moment.

holding your hand, he walked you to your window before opening it again. you squeezed his tighter as you saw him get ready to leave. kissing your cheek, he began to climb out of it. "i'll come see you after school... make sure you're dressed, imma take you somewhere." "y-yeah okay."

your legs felt like jelly as you watched him leave. heading back to your bed, you layed on your back for a moment before turning on your stomach and kicking your feet. "i better hurry up and get to bed.. i have a date tomorrow."

taglist: @lunagalaa @awow-2 @coffeeandtealol

[vminhoes]

My taegi fics:

And they were roommates!

Yoongi is a tired businessman stressing over his subordinates and Taehyung is a tired college student stressing over Yoongi’s ass. Specifically, how bad he wants it.

(Explicit ✧ roommates au ✧ student taehyung, businessman yoongi ✧ roommates with benefits ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Spoils of War

After the Kim pack nearly wipes out the human kingdom, Prince Yoongi is captured and brought back to Prince Taehyung as a gift.

Taehyung just wants to be left alone, and Yoongi just wants to go home. Of course they hate each other, but Taehyung will not hesitate rip anyone who touches Yoongi to shreds

(Explicit ✧ royal/hybrid au ✧ human yoongi ✧ hybrid/alpha taehyung ✧ enemies to lovers ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

You scratch my back, I'll blow out yours

Yoongi is the newest up and coming musician hot on the scene. At just 23, he’s an ingenious producer, phenomenal rapper, captivating performer, and overall he’s one badass motherfucker who doesn’t take shit from anyone.

That being said, he may or may not need to sleep with his record label’s son Taehyung, who’s been pining after Yoongi for months, if he wants a chance at making it big.

(Explicit ✧ coffee shop au ✧ frat boy/barista taehyung, rapper yoongi ✧ blackmail ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Flower boy

Yoongi had seen far too much and done even worse to be affected by anything else life had to offer. That is, until the handsome owner of the flower shop down the street gives him a few daisies and a new outlook on life.

(Explicit ✧ mafia au ✧ drug lord yoongi, florist taehyung ✧ mutual pining ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Why don't you say "I love you" back?

A little drabble based off of Yoongi’s vlive where Taehyung says “I love you” and refuses to leave until Yoongi says it back

(rated: G ✧ canon compliant ✧ yoongi's vlive - "i won't leave until you say that word" ✧ fluff

🌹🌹🌹

So cute

Yoongi just wants to bang but Taehyung can’t be serious for two fucking minutes

(Explicit ✧ college au ✧ boyfriends!taegi ✧ smut, fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

There was only one bed

In an act of pure desperation, Yoongi grabs the nearest stranger and proclaims him to be his new boyfriend in an effort to prove his ex that he’s moved on. He realizes too late that said stranger turns out to be an ingenious marine biology major who surfs and looks to be sculpted by the gods.

Luckily for Yoongi, said stranger also happens to love romance novels, and his favorite tropes include “fake dating” and “there was only one bed.”

(Explicit ✧ college au ✧ fake dating ✧ only one bed trop ✧ smut, fluff, pinch of angst)

🌹🌹🌹

The best part of me was always you

Yoongi was thriving. He’d moved across the world, gotten his degree, his dream job, and a fantastic boyfriend. Visiting home was going to be a piece of cake now that he had so much to show for.

That is, until he unexpectedly sees Taehyung for the first time in years at an engagement party.

(Explicit ✧ modern setting au ✧ exes taegi ✧ exes to lovers ✧ hurt/comfort ✧ smut, heavy angst, fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

I'll be gentle

Yoongi says that the only thing more shameful than being a virgin at 25 would be to let his best friend's obnoxious little brother be his first time, so Taehyung thinks of a solution to ease his childhood crush of that insecurity.

(Explicit ✧ college/university au ✧ unrequited crush ✧ loss of virginity ✧ smut and fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

Broken Hearts Club

What happens when piano teacher Yoongi and race car driver Taehyung are both hot, heartbroken, and desperate for a distraction?

That's a genuine question, because it doesn't seem like anyone knows including them, but here goes nothing.

(Explicit ✧ taegi au ✧ heartbroken taegi ✧ friends with benefits ✧ strangers to lovers ✧ smut and fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

Hold me close, I'll keep you warm

Trapped in an old shack with a blizzard storming outside, it looks like the only thing left for Yoongi and Taehyung to do is hold each other to stay warm—no matter how badly they hate each other.

...Unless?

(Explicit ✧ taegi omegaverse au ✧ cat hybrid yoongi, wolf hybrid taehyung ✧ alpha taehyung, omega yoongi ✧ enemies to lovers ✧ smut and fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

Stop copying me!

After getting off on the wrong foot at Coachella, beloved influencers Yoongi and Taehyung declare an immediate rivalry, and each devise their own plan to enact revenge on the other.

The only problem is that they create the same plan, and it inadvertently results in everyone assuming they’re dating.

(Explicit ✧ taegi au ✧ gamer/streamer yoongi, model taehyung ✧ stubborn/petty taegi ✧ enemies to friends with benefits to lovers ✧ crack, smut, fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

Dinner and a show

Yoongi doesn't expect the hot guy he's been crushing on to be the who he's delivering food to, and Taehyung doesn't expect the pretty omega who doesn't know his name to come to his door in heat

(Explicit ✧ taegi omegaverse au ✧ omega yoongi, alpha taehyung ✧ college students taegi ✧ heat sex ✧ smut, fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

Barbie Dreams

Young, gorgeous, and filthy rich tycoon Kim Taehyung is tired of the models and celebrities around him at his disposal, and seeks out something new to satiate his desires.

Enter Min Yoongi: the highest paid prostitute at the Dreamhouse—an entirely pink, Barbie themed brothel.

(Explicit ✧ taegi sugar daddy au ✧ sugar baby yoongi, sugar daddy taehyung ✧ slow-ish burn ✧ acceptance of feelings ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Printer jam

Someone in the office has been clogging the communal printer with useless documents, and Yoongi fully intends to find and confront the mystery printer fiend for his crimes of killing so many trees.

Things don’t exactly go according to plan when Yoongi ends up bent over his desk by said mystery printer fiend instead.

(Explicit ✧ taegi office au ✧ accountant yoongi, intern taehyung ✧ office crush ✧ pining ✧ desk sex ✧ smut, fluff)

🌹🌹🌹

Why don't you love me?

Taehyung is an unconventional alpha who defies all societal norms and rejects the idea of outdated, traditional alpha/omega relationships.

To maintain their friendship, Yoongi tells Teahyung that he feels the same. Only, he's an omega, and he's been in love with Taehyung since the they first met

(Explicit ✧ taegi omegaverse ✧ university au ✧ unrequited love ✧ alpha taehyung, omega yoongi ✧ mating bites ✧ love confessions ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Fly me to the moon

At the end of their last vacation before going long distance, Yoongi allows Taehyung to vlog their final night together.

And Taehyung plans to vlog every part of the night

(Explicit ✧ established relationship ✧ long distance boyfriends ✧ hotel sex ✧ sex tapes ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Beautiful nightmare

Yoongi gets caught in a blizzard, and a big, ferocious creature saves him from death's hands.

Never in his wildest dreams would Yoongi have expected the creature to be a werewolf named Taehyung, nor would he have imagined the werewolf to be so determined to be stay by his side...and that his human form would be so handsome.

(Explicit ✧ fantasy au ✧ werewolf Taehyung, human Yoongi ✧ slow burn ✧ love confessions ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Here comes Santa Claus

When Yoongi comes home from a holiday party, the last thing he expects is to find his husband in their living room wearing a Santa Claus costume.

~

“Come on Yoongi, play with me.” Taehyung pouted, finally breaking character. “I got the costume and everything.”

“How on earth am I supposed to take you seriously like this?” Yoongi inquired. “What are we even roleplaying as? Santa Claus coming down a grown man’s chimney and asking me to sit on his lap and tell him what I want for Christmas?”

“Precisely!” Taehyung smiled up in excitement. “It’s innovative, right?”

(Explicit ✧ married taegi ✧ Christmas au ✧ Santa Claus roleplay ✧ dom/sub undertones ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

🌹🌹🌹

Shameless

At 31, Yoongi's life consists of 3 things: a job he hates, little sleep, and lame sex from a boring fuck buddy. He figures that's all he'll ever have, until a new supervisor named Taehyung gets hired onto his team, with a mysterious side job and an immediate interest in Yoongi.

~

“Get on your knees, since apparently it’s a position you’re familiar with.” The sinister smirk curving at his lips caused Yoongi to gulp nervously as Taehyung’s silky voice dropped an octave lower. “And if you’re not yet, you'll get used to it."

(Explicit ✧ office au ✧ bdsm ✧ professional dom Taehyung ✧ submissive Yoongi ✧ coworkers to lovers ✧ smut, fluff, angst)

[accio-victuuri]

MY RECENT READS ( April - August 2023 ) 📚

a mix of manhua/manhwa/danmei novels. i’ve also been on an omegaverse binge so you’ll see a couple of those on here. this is my way of documenting what i’ve read and sharing it to anyone who is probably looking for their next read.

I have linked the actual source of where i read them so you can look up the summary & reviews and see if it’s something you like. Please mind the tags and warnings too. ^^

===============

MANHWA/MANHUA

===============

Limited Run ( Seasons 1 & 2 ) - sometimes i’m just in the mood for some toxic relationship with good smut and this hits the spot. tho the MC (Yeon-Oh) is really put in an ugly situation, and really just wants to have a better life and escape. It’s not his fault. The power imbalance is definitely there and like 99.9% of people reading it is there for the smut.

Love Shuttle ( Seasons 1-3 ) - I am very late to this story cause when I started reading this was always at the top of people’s rec lists — especially for omegaverse and now i know why. I love a younger alpha x older omega dynamic so I’m happy with that then add in the enemies to lovers trope. The characters are likable and the story progresses well. Usually for omegaverse, there’s always some angst going on but this felt enjoyable to me. Totally a good read.

Omega Complex ( Completed ) - I AM ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS STORY. I have read it multiple times and it’s marked as completed, but the extras are not. If I were to pick my ideal omegaverse story and art it would be this. Again. Older Omega x Younger Alpha. This one is they started as childhood friends who became estranged because of “circumstances” and met up again in college. The school setting itself and supporting characters are well done too. Most stories have fleshed out supporting characters only if they will be a second couple or something, but this does not use that ploy.

There are misunderstandings but i’m okay with that. I know people are stupid and bad at communication in real life so i don’t really get readers who complain about it. Maybe if it’s too much or doesn’t serve a purpose. It’s necessary in this one tho.

THE SMUT IS GORGEOUS. No. Really. How can you describe smut as gorgeous? Well. Read it and you will find out. 👀

BUT THE BEST THING IS I AM INVESTED WITH THE PAIRING. I love them so much. 😭😭😭 from childhood friends to going to school together and all + grown ups.

Their aesthetic also kinda reminds me of the GG & WYB. so yeah.

Cheeky Habits of my Rabbits - what happens when you combine absolute cuteness and smut? This. I love it. It shouldn’t work, the premise is weird, but it’s a great read! hilarious too. Neungso is the most precious bunny!!!!

The Pizza Delivery Man & the Golden Palace ( on Hiatus ) - How do I even begin to describe this without foaming in the mouth. I wish the hiatus will be over and we will know more and see how the story progresses. It looks like a simple premise, MC is a pizza delivery guy who is struggling and he forms a relationship with a rich regular from the “golden palace”. BUT NOOOO. The writing is special. The way the ML’s struggle with his anxiety/trauma and how MC’s simple kindness helped him is so romantic.

Especially the scene when they first met in the rain and the MC offered his umbrella. You never know what people are going through, so it’s best to be kind. It was such a small gesture but it changed both of their lives.

It’s a story of how love can heal. 😌

Plus the MC — Woo Won is one of my favorite leads ever. He is so gentle and kind even if the world is treating him badly, he still makes a conscious decision to be good. He deserves all the love and success! ML ( Seo-An) better spoil him well! 😤

Their problems don’t magically disappear, it’s just easier to exist because you have someone standing beside you. 🤍🤍🤍

The New Recruit ( completed ) - a solid office romance. if you’re into that then pick this up! there’s no toxic power imbalance going on or abuse. I like how MC is someone who started his career a bit late, so he is older than his peers and still a newbie. A perfect read over the weekend.

Mr. Y & Mr. J - I can’t find the link to the completed version I read so sorry for that. Anyway, this one is with theme of “regression” is I think the right time. Where the MC dies and lives again years prior. So they get a second chance at life. The setting is also entertainment industry which i personally enjoy so there was no way i won’t like it.

Salad Days ( Season 1 ) - Something I AM VERY LATE to. I think everyone and their mom have read this so I won’t go into details. I loved the first season and will definitely go back to finish the rest. The pairing is so OTP material 💟

The side characters in the MC’s life, his friends, are so precious too!

Dawn of the Dragon ( Season 1 ) - Fantasy / Smut. That’s all I can remember. What I really wanna know tho is the backstory of the Dragon and who was his mate from the past. I have a feeling the MC is some sort of reincarnation of that person.

Raising Beta (completed) - A very short read. It’s fucked up. LOL. Basically the MC is a beta and the ML who is obsessed with him turns him into an Omega. not only that, he did a lot of other things all in the name of “love” and as a reader you are there to watch it and you can’t do anything to help the MC. It’s definitely an experience to read this. It reminds me of something Kai Bi Qiu might write so maybe that’s why I enjoyed it more than i should. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Hyacinth (completed) - Awwww this one is sweet and makes me all somft. I have re-read this too cause it’s pretty short and the art is beautiful. The MC’s focus on how many meals he has shared with ML was a nice addition and added to the romance.

Plus their little family of three is so cute! XIAO YI IS THE BEST KID. 🥹🥹🥹

How to snag an Alpha ( Completed ) - All I can say is that it’s super funny and the MC is definitely a character. I got so much secondhand embarrassment from the shit he pulls but he ended up getting the Alpha so i think it’s worth it! 😂

Sweet not Sugar ( Season 1 ) - I found this when searching for “green flag” alphas and well this satisfied that. I love the MC here so i’m happy that he gets to be with someone who doesn’t treat him like trash. The MC is at a point in his life where he thinks everyone is out to abuse him in some way so meeting ML unsettles him.

LEE DAN! You deserve to be loved! No matter what happened to you in the past 🥹🥹🥹

December ( Season 1 ) - This is one that I actively check to see if it’s updated cause I’m so invested with the pairing. It should be the usual omegaverse trope but add in the backstory, somehow makes it special. They both meet years ago and MC who is an omega “awakened” the ML into being an Alpha. ML then looks for this mystery person and when he finds him, he will do everything to keep him.

I’m doing a very bad summary i know, i promise it’s not boring. There are other issues discussed in the story, like how horrible omegas are treated. I looooove it when the Alpha goes feral and violent in certain moments too but when it comes to his Omega he is somft.

Their library dates too!!!! 😍😍😍😍

Who’s baby is it? ( Ongoing 200 + chapters ) - My comfort read! I swear. The plot was initially straightforward then it went in a bizarre direction but i still like it. It’s still not finished even with all the chapters and I imagine they can still stretch it to last forever 😂😂😂

My fave would definitely be the children! Rourou!!!! I initially picked this up cause I wanted a story with a cute kid. and i got what i wanted.

+ Entertainment industry setting <3

My Delicious Dream Boy ( Completed ) - The kind of supernatural read that still manages to be fun and light. The MC here is funny without even trying. He only wants to have friends and experience “college life” after years of having to stay at home because of his sickness. The plot could have easily gone dark but it focused more on relationships and the pairing’s growth as individuals — which was so much better for me. Definitely a favorite and reread material.

Affectionately ( Completed ) - This could have been more fleshed out cause there is more story to tell but what can i do.. It is what it is…

It features cute animals cause the MC is supposedly gifted in interacting with them and the ML is the complete opposite. They also work at a cafe together. I chose to read this cause I wanted fluff and it did not disappoint.

My favorite glasses holder ( Completed ) - the MC and his love for men with glasses 😂😂😂 ML is a grumpy kitty and works so well with MC’s bright personality. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as i do. After this, I have craved for more modern setting stories.

===============

DANMEI NOVELS

===============

Deer Fei Fei - an adorable story of the MC who is in the entertainment industry and his ���senior” who he idolizes. if you are into a fanboy getting his idol trope they give it a try. It’s also really short with 32 chapters only 💕

Transmigrated and forced to do Business - my guilty pleasure is when the MC transmigrates in the book where they are supposed to be the villain but they don’t want that. So they do everything the can to be on the good side of the book’s protagonist and well… we all know what happens after.

Have you ever met such a cold author? - Fanboy reader who writes fanfics meets his favorite author. That’s it. I was sold with the premise and it did deliver. ☺️

Bu Wang - I started the Manhua and wanted more so I MTL-d it over at gonzicp so I don’t have the proper english translation. I was just craving for a merman type of story and this popped up. It was nice! How the ML became so devoted to him and chased MC when he left AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Stars run to him - I have to take Knoxt ( website ) for this cause i swear i was only browsing completed novels and I randomly clicked on this. It’s what i love about Knoxt, there are translated works there that are not as popular. Absolute gems that deserve more audience.

This is a perfect example. 💕

DON’T LET THE SUMMARY FOOL YOU. I enjoy myself some fake dating for sure, but this is so much more than that. Especially that clue in there : “Gu Zhongyi has loved him for many years…” I don’t think I’ve ever read something like this and that’s why it stuck with me. It would have been so confusing but it was written very well and seeing it all unfold is a treat. Definitely a classic.

It seems there is light - Such a pure story. I swear. A great story about first love and two people who care for each other. It may be boring to some, depending on the headspace you’re in, but please give it a try.

-END.

[youlightmeupriorson]

⭐️ TOP 10 READS ⭐️

I wasn't really dabbling with the book community when I picked up reading again in September 2023 but now in January 2024, I've read 32 books (not a lot but I'm picking up speed finally!) and here are my TOP 10 reads so far on my reading journey 💘📚

Starting at #10...

#10: ICEBREAKER | Hannah Grace

This was one of the first books I read. It was also my first sports romance. I didn't think hockey would be it for me but WOWZA did Nate Hawkins change me. His and Stassie's relationship was a quick one that took my breath away. The spice? You wouldn't have convinced me of the fllth in this book when I picked it up. Honestly, the pages moaned when I opened them. Such a good read! Highly recommend. I'm currently reading WILDFIRE (Russ and Aurora's story) and cannot WAIT for Henry's book! He was my favorite side character 💘

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#9: SECRETLY YOURS | Tessa Bailey

Secretly Yours was my introduction to Tessa Bailey who has honestly become one of my top 5 authors. I love her writing style. A third person typically isn't my cup of tea, but Tessa can change you. This was a great take on a little grumpy x mega sunshine action. Julian Vos is a sucker for his girl and secretly a little freak too. Absolutely loved this! Also, I loved the secret admirer letters back and forth. So good.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️

#8: Unfortunately Yours | Tessa Bailey

This is the second book after Secretly Yours. This follows Julian's sister, Natalie, and August Cates. We meet both of these people in Secretly Yours. There's nothing I love more than a marriage of convenience trope with a little splash of enemies to lovers, but knowing that the MMC has fallen in love first. August Cates? He is a WHOLE MAN. An ex-Marine who is set to keep his late best friend's vineyard dreams alive, his and Natalie's explosive relationship is a succulent read... And in the bedroom? Well, let's just say. He makes it fit. 🔥

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

#7: ADDICTED TO YOU | Krista & Becca Ritchie

The first book in the Calloway Sisters series follows two very complicated people, Loren Hale and Lily Calloway. Best friends since childhood who both face terrible addictions (Loren is an alcoholic and Lily is a sex addict), they've been playing their families for years that they've been together. They do this so they can help others hide their addictions. But when everything blows up and each realizes the other does have a problem, everything goes south. This book had me in tears. It is emotionally tragic and I adore LiLo SO much. I've read Ricochet and am going to start the 3rd book either this month or in February... Also, you may just fall in love with Connor Cobalt. I said what I said 💗

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#6: FLAWLESS | Elsie Silver

When in doubt, remember what Big & Rich said. Save a horse, ride a cowboy. If you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy. My first cowboy romance ever and I was hooked from the very first page. We meet Rhett Eaton, a playboy bull rider with a hatred for milk unlike no other. He needs his reputation fixed and handled. Enter Summer. The most sunshiney person you'd ever meet gives this bull rider a run for his money. And the sex? Oh wowza. It's so good.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#5: A COURT OF THORNS & ROSES | SJM

My introduction to ACOTAR started off strong. I adored Tamlin (if you know, you know) we follow Feyre Archeron and her journey. I can't say much except you need to read this. It is one of the best series I've ever read, which is why my next 4 are ACOTAR too.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️

#4: A COURT OF MIST & FURY | SJM

ahhhhhhHHHHHH. I CRIED LIKE A BABY. RHYS?? Rhys is my husband. I can't help it.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#3: A COURT OF WINGS & RUIN | SJM

I cried even harder reading this one. Again, I can't spoil it.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

#2: A COURT OF SILVER FLAMES | SJM

This is by far my FAVORITE. I am a Nesta girly. Deep down, out of all the Archeron sisters, I relate to Nesta the most. And Cassian is my favorite bat boy... Gah lay. I cannot wait for Azriel's book.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

#1: HAUNTING ADELINE | H.D. CARLTON

My number one book... Is Haunting Adeline. I don't want to hear any negativity. This book changed me. I've got so many book boyfriends, but Zade Meadows beats them all. He is unstoppable. This book had me screaming at the top of my lungs and had me fighting for air. Zade had me questioning everything about myself. He is the dark boyfriend for me. I have Hunting Adeline and desperately want to read, but was trying to get through some of my TBR. I started it and cried by the third chapter so I had to put it down because I just KNOW Hunting will wreck me.

RATING: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | SPICE: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

[gojoest]

Happy Bday to Satoruuuu!! The childhood friends to lovers is so cute, poor Satoru, he never stood a chance against the One Bed... (Also my new fav is kind of an unpopular char so I'm not doing a namedrop. He's a bit prickly, bitchy, and extremely pretty. He makes my heart happy) -sukunanon

he deserves to have the happiest birthday ever, 35 is such a hot age to be too 😎 ofc poking fun at him that he’s soon about to hit the 40s is a given but satoru would look even better then heheh

thank you for reading, i am glad you liked it! 🥹 i’ve been brainrotting quite a lot about childhood friends to lovers lately, it’s one of my favorite tropes ever!

ahhh having a new hyperfixation is soooo good, i am so curious now but i will respect that 🫡

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Lately I'm obsessed with shigaraki and toga coz I see them on Pinterest and I know some antis will be like:" SHE'S A MINOR, YOU CAN'T SHIP THEM. " Buddy are you the FBI or the police??? They're not real, fictional characters.

Plus it's a four to three year gap most young couples date around that or wait an 18yo & 17yo can date each other because they're teenagers or knew each other in highschool??? Like again they're fictional characters, anti need to stay away from fictional and social medias.

Anyway I personally think they are cute and I love their dynamic relationship, it's an interesting thing for shigaraki's and toga's relationship.

They don't seem to hate each other, it's more like toga doesn't think shiggy is ugly like dabi who straight tells him, he's ugly mf.

I get it, I'm a multishipper and I do ship toga with deku or uraraka.

But I would like to talk about them and hopefully write fanfic about them. I'll probably do ship fanfic on A03 I do plan on making shigadeku content because I also love them and their dynamic too.

I would like to write them as childhood friends to lovers trope because again I don't want anti over here and harass me for making wholesome ships on A03.. but we'll see, I wanna put some of my favorite couples in my selfship fanfic too :3 because that sounds fun right?? 😭

[adamnablelittledevil]

@gayboymolloy thank you for tagging me! And let me say, your taste??? >>> I've been listening to Chappell Roan lately and her music is sooooo great. I've basically only listened to 3 people since 2021, but I have opened an exception for her because she's that awesome. ^^

Tagging: @jaypentaghast, @unhinged-nonsense, @hearfrost, @waterghoulcalamity, @andy4yippee, I tried to tag more people here, but it didn't work so... If anyone sees this and wants to answer, consider yourself tagged because I love finding more about y'all. :)

Anyway, this got too long because whenever I'm given an opening to talk about things I love I lose control... But here we go. :p

9 People You Want To Know Better!

Three ships: I'm terrible at picking a favorite anything, or even a top 3, I have like 12 or 13 ships that I'm equally obsessed with... But these are *SOME* of them. <3

Emisue (Dickinson)

Is it a gay thing to have beautiful kisses that look like a Renaissance painting? They're such a beautiful ship, but they impacted me on a personal as well. This was the first time I saw a queer ship that was beautifully written, had loads of chemistry and was executed with care (the fact they had so many queer people and women on the show, specially Ella - who played Sue - made everything even better). They weren't your subtle and digestible queer ship for conservatives and they weren't overly sexualized for straight people with a fetish. They were something else. The way their problems weren't really about being queer/internalized queerphobia and even individual things like Emily's 'coming out scenes' being full of acceptance, support and even celebration were SO FULFILLING. It was amazing to watch from a viewer point of view, but also really formative to me as I came to find and embrace more of myself.

Malina (Shadow and Bone)

Mind you that they aren't even together here, they're just imagining each other, it's just that the chemistry was THAT awesome. First love. Childhood love. Friends to lovers. Linked by destiny. Can just sense one another. They'll always find each other. But they also chose one another and made their own story in a way destiny never could do it for them. The world against them and them against the world. "It was always you". Malina mixed all my favorite tropes and some that I hated with a passion and created a masterpiece.

Royjamie (Ted Lasso)

A lot of their problems stemmed from the fact they were thirst for each other and they would've fixed things sooner if they'd just been grown ups about it and fucked yk. These two were meant to be a big part of each other's arc, but the fact they got even bigger than what it was initially planned because the actors were inseparable and crazy about each other? And the chemistry was that amazing? And how they grew so much as individuals and boyfriends through the seasons? And 3x06 that was basically the cutest and longest date ever with them exploring Amsterdam from morning to late at night, opening up, trying new things, riding a bike together etc? And how Phil and Brett are just one of the cutest, messiest, most insane and chaotic best bros in real life who kind of lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship just makes everything SO MUCH BETTER.

First ship: I can't remember for sure, but if this wasn't the very first, it was the second, tops.

Villadero/Cordueva (Jane the Virgin)

Jane and Michael are really special to me because I think so often couples are about the flirting, sensuality and physical attraction, and it's not that they don't have that because they definitely do, but I think ships usually lack more. And when they do have more, it's usually a will-they-won't-they, on-and-off, love triangles, fights etc, because apparently writers believe dragging things out to the point it gets unbearable is better than just letting them have a stable and deep relationship? Specially back then, now things are getting better (I still think we're taking baby steps, but at least there's some progress), but Jane and Michael were the VERY FIRST couple I saw having that kind of relationship and it was a life-changing moment in television for me. That's not to say they didn't have some of those problems, they did, but they actually worked on them and evolved as people and a couple. I got to see them from their first meet cute (and it was the BEST meet cute ever), him getting a noise complaint about her 21st birthday party and a drunk Jane confusing him for a stripper, grabbing and shooting his gun, only to find out he was a real cop and then not only he didn't arrest her, but spent the whole night talking to her while she sobers up, getting to genuinely know her until it was morning?! Really, doesn't get more wholesome than that. And I saw them become full committed adults who grew together through the years, them working on their careers, Jane starting her first book, Michael getting his first medal, Michael being a close friend to her parents instead of just being a son-in-law to them, the two getting married, living together, being a family, going back home to each other at the end of a long day, going out to have some fun time... Being more than just two people who are attracted to each other, but two people who loved fully each other in every aspect of the word, who were best friends, confidants, who genuinely enjoyed each other's company, who would crack up out loud together, that had a life inside and inside and out of home. It was a gift. And so much of it was the natural chemistry of the actors that got along so well and loved that pairing, too. No wonder the entire cast rooted for them.

Last song: Fur Elise by Faouzia

There are ONLY THREE singers/groups in the world that I'm truly obsessed with and Faouzia is one of them. Her music is out-of-this world, specially her powerful voice and beautiful melodies (she has my favorite melodies ever). Tomorrow she'll be on the finals of a singing competition and she really deserves to win, specially after working herself like crazy making, recording AND releasing new songs, music videos, commercials, doing full concerts and even learning a bit of freaking Chinese ALL IN JUST *TWO* MONTHS! As I get ready to vote like crazy for her tomorrow, I'm listening to all of her songs for good luck. :p And Fur Elise is one of my favorite songs ever and a true masterpiece.

Last TV show: Interview with the Vampire.

Currently reading: Six of Crows by Lady Bardugo, but I'm gonna start The Vampire Chronicles soon. I have no idea if I will like them, let alone love it as much as the show (it's my favorite show in the universe), but I'm so curious to get to know the characters, be able to fully talk about the universe with other fans and know what can possibly happen in the future seasons that I will do it anyway... I just need to figure out where to begin, because I want to skip the first book (for now) since the show has already covered it. I hope it's possible to start with a book that has all the main characters that appear on the show, but I'm still gathering information to know what's necessary to read and what isn't, the best order to do it etc. :p Anyway, I have attention issues so that will surely be tricky, but I'm just so curious about IWTV that I have to do it, lol. And I also can't drop SoC or I'll forget it and will have to start it from scratch all over again... I've read like 3/4 of the book so I can't let that go to waste either lmao. I'll just give certain days of the week to each book and eventually finish them (hopefully in time for season 3), lol.

Currently watching: Still Up, Silo, House of the Dragon, The Purge, The Lazarus Project. I'm pretty early into these shows and don't really know what to think about them yet, though. I do have a soft spot for Antonia Thomas because she played one of my favorite and nicest characters ever (Claire Browne, The Good Doctor), so it's good to see her face. And Silo has Chinaza Uche, who had a supporting role in Dickinson, but he was so charismatic that I wanted to see him have a longer screen time somewhere else. I hear he's been promoted to a bigger role on season 2, so let's hope I make that far and get to see him shine lol. I also have some shows with sapphic and/or non-binary/androgynous/fluid characters people recommended that I'm gonna try. :)

Currently eating: Nothing, but the last thing was steak, rice and potatoes. :p

Currently craving: Also nothing, but the last time I craved anything was a cheeseburger with cheddar. Not even joking when I say it's been over a year since I had one lol. #fml

[mosviqu]

❄️🎄❄️ moot game ❄️🎄❄️- hi baby,, assign some romantic tropes to your moots + explain why

i totally forgot i had this in my inbox and a moot just answered this ask so i am reminded of it once again HAHA. only did the moots i am the closest to <3

@satoruly - miri is found family (i would say soulmates au too, but i wont be that cheesy.). you meet and her and you instantly click. she knows your soul and connects with it, makes you feel safe, makes you feel understood. your sense of humor is the same and you never thought you'd be blessed to have someone like her in your life, but it happens and you always thank whoever is up there for bringing her into your life. she is like laughting until you cry, like tending to each other's wounds, like listening to long voice memos and feeling so at peace and in tune with someone that you wonder how the universe works so well that there is someone out there that is truly your best friend, no questions asked and no doubts felt

@csenke - now come on there is no way i am not giving csenge neighbors au (slash childhood friends au). we are platonic neighbors because we live in bordering countries and i felt strangely so at home in budapest but other than that,, she is just that type of person you feel like you've known forever. the person you go on walks with and spend most afternoons with and have similar interests with because you are the same age and you grew up together and you feel so carefree with them and they know you so well. she is like evening walks during summer break and like catching the bus and going on a little road trip and like playing in playgrounds and she is like laughter and being silly and being only a house away and everything is good because you know that when you come back from whatever journey u went on, your neighbor, your childhood friend, will always wait there for you.

@from-izzy - izzy is coming of age. she is like sharing struggles and growing up, she is like finding yourself and overcoming trouble, she is all late night talks and rants, she is confessions and fun and inside jokes and being loyal and protective of your loved ones, she is finding your favorite person and being glued to them in the halls of the school cafeteria, she is that kind of person they ask you "have you been friends since childhood?" about, but you reply that no, it hasnt been that long, you just click so well. she is like staring in the mirror and seeing yourself in another person. she is like mourning your childhood and the thrill of growing up. she is like wiping your cheeks off tears and staying strong even on your lowest. its like having a companion by your side even when u feel like youre all alone in the world.

@sanaxo-o - sana is idiots to lovers. two people who are in love with each other, but too oblivious and dumb to realize it. she is all silly acts and blushing cheeks and chaotic energy that makes you question the nature of the relationship. she is all caring and sweet and genuine and over-all besties vibes. it takes a while to figure out your feelings, but u get to it eventually.

@okkotsu-simp - kyuzu is first love au. my innocent sweet little sister i need to protect at all times. she is shy glances and rosy cheeks and lovesick hearts and screaming over the boy you like. she is like freedom and fun and all the pure things in the world in my eyes. that type that makes u wanna squish their cheeks and give them a forehead kiss.

@injangism - is academic rivals to lovers au. that type where you argue (not that we ever did) and go after each others throat, but u secretly admire them for their big brain and their strengths and their smarts and the determination. you admire them from afar but would never admit it because words are too embarrassing, so getting to their level is what you do to make them notice you. and then u realize the sexual tension and it all ends well<3

@sungbeam - beam is college au acquaintances to lovers. she is that person u know through mutual friends, that person you somehow end up talking to and still question how it even happened. u meet in college and click over the same struggles and interests and the similar way you two think, you click over deep talks in the lonely bedroom of a house party, or the person that follows you out of the bars on your smoke break. she is like your study partner during exam season u lose sanity with, someone u secretly admire, and somehow find growing closer to. she is like the mature girl u meet in college and then realize she is younger than you and you slowly start questioning the state of your developing front lobe.

@koishua - vie is right person, wrong time. i know it sounds depressing, but hear me out. vie is like watching the person you have always loved from afar. she is making you reflect on who you were and who you are now, she is the person that got away but you keep thinking about in hopes that they're okay and happy. she is that person you stalk on insta and feel proud of, wishing them well, despite not crossing your paths with them. and im not saying we no longer have the same path, i just think your tumblr hiatus left a scar on me 💔💔 i love you always vie, u are like my mature younger sister. you make me think of just how fast time flies. also ur whole existence is so poetic to me.

[littleredwritinghoodsclub]

Moody Monday I

🌹Hello Campers! Here are the responses we got for our first activity for camp NaNoWriMo. Thank you everyone who participated, if you still wanted to submit a response please do so- it's never too late to join in one of our activities. If you're not part of the club and still want to answer these questions, then reblog this post with your answers.

🌹Also huge thank you to @caveatscriptor for creating the graphic

🌹 Member responses below the cut:

🌹 @jay-avian

1. Honestly, a little bit of both. I do a general outline of the main plot, as well as any worldbuilding needed. And once I start writing, I let the pacing flow naturally and the characters flesh themselves out 2. Current WIP - "The Court Magician": Forest man on house arrest must save the world from the fae 3. (not sure, will come back) 4. Fantasy, Adventure 5. Reluctant Chosen One

🌹 @mayonayys

1. I'm definitely a planner! I enjoy a bit of chaos, but need structure for most things, and that includes writing. An example of my most extreme planner moment: I was writing up fake advertisements for my in world D&D newspaper, had to give the businesses addresses... So I stopped halfway through and had to plan out most of a market district map, which will probably never be used again 2. Aura Sighted: Gifted-kid burnout syndrome mage has to figure out how to save her sister from a psychotic King, while staying out of the way of the Prince with daddy issues. 3. Keywords: (I'll come back to this one) 4. Genres: Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Eventual Romance 5. Favorite Tropes: Found Family, Eventual Idiots to Lovers, with a hint of Enemies to Lovers Bonus: My Camp goal this year is just to get some writing done; shooting for 15k words!

🌹 @becausethecat

1. Planning: Generally it depends. I don’t outline Fic usually, or random ideas that just jump out, but I do like having vague-to-solid roadmap on other ideas 2. WIP that i think I’m gonna try to do: A pirate loses his ship and crew to his creditors and makes a drastic attempt to pay them off by promising to produce a rare magical artifact—a weather violin that specifically calls moody weather when played—and he isn’t prepared for his quest to dump him on a small island, inhabited by one other person; the violinist who found his treasure first. 3. Key Words: Broody Boi, Dislike to Love (think animated Anastasia/Dimitri), reformed pickpocket, identity, violin + The sound of rain on a tin roof while a sad viloin plays, deserted island, survival, persons of debatable charm, BLORBOS 4. Genre is uhhhh.... Pirate Captain on a deserted island with a Moody Violinist ..... idk if it will be humor or romance or survival but it’s def Fantasy with Magic and whatnot 5. Tropes: Pirate on Deserted Island, Survival, is Learning to Communicate Effectively a trope? And uhhhh I’m not sure how the Only One Bed will turn out that’s the one I pulled out of a hat (what quantifies Idiots to Lovers bc they might be that too)

🌹 @fanged-writer

1. former pantser, trying to plan now. don't think my previous method was working for me, so I'll see how this goes! 2. sentence: an average human is suddenly gifted 'divine' knowledge, transporting them from one dismal situation to another. 3. will need to figure these key words out, i think. 'wasps, red, gods, superstition, summer'. 4. not too sure, but got some fantasy in there... 5. rivals and rivals and more rivals. also deceit.

🌹 @inkspellangel

1. A little of both. I plan a bit and then hope I don't pants my way too far away from that vague outline :'D 2. SSP: Grumpy punk with wolf companion has to arrest his childhood friend because of reasons he can't believe. 3. Keywords: Mad scientist, childhood friends to lovers, grumpy/sunshine friend dynamic, cave system, more vibes than plot at this point 4. Subterranean sci-fi, I think 5. 100% sunshine/grumpy friends

🌹 @fleurtygurl

1. I think I lean more towards a pantser. Ideas come to me as I write that I would never have thought of in the planning stages of my wip. But I'm doing my best to find a way to give myself more structure. 2. Filipina in San Francisco meets cyborg private investigator, and they solve some murders. 3. Keywords: tomboy, trauma, sapphic, straight people being friends, siblings-centered 4. Sci-fi and mystery? ( i know there are technical differences between mystery and thriller, but i dont want to try and think about it.) 5. my favorite dynamic? Close sisters who can depend on one another

[sparklepocalypse]

🍍 because it’s my favorite and I love AUs!

Fair enough! I love a good two parter question.

What kind of AUs do you like?

I like writing most types of AU, as long as I have even a passing interest in the concept and I have the opportunity to do some world building along the way. My AU fics tend to get pretty beefy because I love world building so much: see for example:

Late Bloomer | E | Omegaverse AU | Omega!Alex/AlphaHenry | 22.7k words

Be Worthy Love, and Love Will Come | E | Canon-Divergent AU | Alex/Henry childhood friends-to-lovers | 30.8k words

And even the shorter of my favorite AUs are still not what I’d classify as ficlets:

So I Will Weather the Storm | E | Canon-Divergent AU | RAF Helicopter Rescue Pilot!Henry/Alex | 9.8k words

Creative Differences | E | Rock Band AU | Lead Singer!Alex/Keyboardist!Henry | 10.3k words

And of course I have a few AU WIPs in the works which will all be at minimum 20k words, but the Big Giant AU is approaching 80k.

Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

I avoid high school AUs. This fandom is glutted with them, and I don’t think I have anything meaningful to contribute there. Also, high school was sort of the worst for me so I really don’t feel the need to revisit it.

I also find the back button pretty quickly on Omegaverse fics where the omega’s personality is hyperfeminized for the sake of fitting some sort of trope. Give me gender norm imploding Omegaverse any day of the week (hence Late Bloomer, lol), but don’t slap a name tag on an omega whose personality has almost no similarities to the character I want to read about, and try to convince me it’s them.

Also, kidfic AUs just… aren’t my thing. The story has to be incredibly compelling *and* the kid can’t be the primary character in order for me to be interested. I’m not in fandom to digest content about child OCs — they’re not what keep me here. So uh, sorry, kidfic writers?

From the Fruit Emoji Ask Game for Fic Writers.

[enbyleighlines]

1 2 3 5 springtime trio

1. When did you start shipping them?

Good question. I don’t really remember when I was first introduced to moominvalley, but I found a post about them on my blog from 2019. So, it’s been at least 5 years.

Basically, there was a big surge of popularity around the Moomin franchise, and I ended up swept up in it, because the character designs kept invoking a sense of nostalgia, despite me having never seen them before. Intrigued, I watched the 90’s anime. And the more I dove into the lore, the more I shipped Moomintroll with both Snufkin and Snorkmaiden. And now, I even ship Snufkin with Snorkmaiden!

2. What do you like about them as individuals?

Well, Snufkin is my favorite of the trio! There’s just something about him that produces so much serotonin in my brain. I love how carefree and easygoing he seems on the surface, but he also has strong convictions and a distinct sense of right or wrong. In the Snufkin game that came out, Little My taunts him with a line like, “Why are you late? Were there some butterflies in desperate need of being appreciated?” And I think that sums up my love for him. He romanticizes the mundane, and I think that mindset is so admirable.

Snorkmaiden is Best Girl, and you cannot convince me otherwise. I love how multi-faceted she is. Like, yes, she is a bit of a drama diva, wishing that her life was more like one of those romantic fantasies she’s always reading about. And yes, she can be jealous and petty and made foolish by those emotions. But it’s those facets of her character that make her so interesting. Especially since as idealistic as she can be, she can also be reasonable and clever. And for how petty she can be, she can also be so sweet, supportive, and understanding. It’s no wonder that Snufkin and Moomintroll seem to both immediately fall in love with her when they first meet in the Comet in Moominland book.

And as for our titular Moomintroll, I love how he grows over time. He starts out so naive and sensitive, with unrealistic expectations about the world and adventures. And while he never quite loses that completely, he grows wiser. When things go wrong, when he learns about the various injustices of the world, it makes him more mature, yes, but it also teaches him compassion. I love how upset he becomes on the behalf of others, and how he loves so deeply that he cannot help but involve himself in everybody else’s problems.

So, yes… I love them all a bunch.

3. What about their dynamic appeals to you?

Well, they have the childhood friends to lovers thing going for them, which is my absolutely favorite relationship trope. I also love the dynamic between Snufkin and Moomintroll. Snufkin is an introvert who likes to travel by himself, and needs his alone time. Moomintroll is very clingy, which clashes with Snufkin’s needs. I love how painful it is for the both of them. Snufkin wants to travel in the winter, but he doesn’t like upsetting Moomintroll. And Moomintroll doesn’t want to be parted from Snufkin, but he learns eventually that it’s something that he will have to accept.

I love that Snorkmaiden provides for Moomintroll what Snufkin cannot. She is social, like Moomintroll. She can be just as clingy, too. And she better fits into the happy domestic life that Moomintroll has in Moominvalley. I also think her love for romance and fantasy pairs well with Moomintroll’s personality. He is also a dreamer, prone to wishing for adventure. Meanwhile, Snufkin concerns himself primarily with the familiar world he knows and loves.

That being said, I love when Snufkin indulges Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden in their whimsical fancies. Such as that time that Snorkmaiden bumped her head and believed that she was a princess. Snufkin was remarkably calm about the whole wacky situation, and even played his part as a potential suitor. Snorkmaiden seems to have the unique talent of drawing out Snufkin’s more chivalrous/playful side, which is endlessly amusing to me.

Meanwhile, Snufkin does his best to lessen the pain Moomintroll experiences each winter when he leaves to travel south. Being tied down isn’t his nature. Worse, it goes against his nature. And yet, for Moomintroll, he tries. He tries to stay as long as he can, he leaves behind a letter, and he tries to return on the very first day of spring each year.

I love how they both influence each other. Snufkin helps Moomintroll be more independent, while Moomintroll helps Snufkin realize that relationships are not a burden, but something that he can carry with him.

They’re just… such a bittersweet trio. There’s so much room for angst, for misunderstandings, for jealousy, for conflicting needs driving a wedge between them all. But there’s also so much room for fluff, for friendship, for understanding, for finding magic in the mundane, for being transformed by love, for laughter and inside jokes and playful teasing. And who doesn’t love a little bit of hurt/comfort?

5. How do you envision them getting together?

Well, obviously Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden get together first. Depending on the adaptation, Snorkmaiden is more or less already Moomintroll’s girlfriend.

The real question is how Snufkin gets involved.

I like to believe that Snorkmaiden is the one who first brings the idea up. It’s obvious that Moomintroll is pining for Snufkin, but Moomintroll himself thinks that he has no chance. After all, Snufkin is the independent sort. Nor has he ever shown the slightest inkling of interest in romance.

But Snorkmaiden is a woman of keen insight into the feelings of others. While everyone else thinks Snufkin as the last person to ever be interested in a relationship, Snorkmaiden can see beyond his cool facade. And what she sees is that Snufkin is pining just as hard as Moomintroll. Especially once Snorkmaiden lays her official claim on Moomintroll, Snufkin has been just a touch gloomier, and Snorkmaiden knows jealousy when she sees it.

So I imagine Snorkmaiden talks it out with Moomintroll, and the two of them conspire to attempt to court Snufkin.

It probably takes a while, though.

Snufkin is very determined not to be seduced, because as much as he loves Moomintroll, he is hesitant to risk their friendship. But Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden are a fearsomely persuasive duo. Snufkin cannot possibly hope to win against their combined weaponized determination.

So Snufkin and Snorkmaiden both date Moomintroll, but they don’t immediately reveal that they have feelings for one another, too.

I headcanon that while Snufkin and Snorkmaiden were very close as children, they drifted apart as teenagers. They wound up clashing a lot, Snufkin’s practical, easygoing, but reclusive nature butting heads against Snorkmaiden’s passionate zeal for parties, romance, and fairy-tales. And, of course, both were jealous of each other. Snorkmaiden wanted Moomintroll’s undivided attention, while Snufkin wanted to be brave enough to confess his feelings.

But as adults, they find themselves charmed by each other. And slowly, but surely, Snufkin and Snorkmaiden find themselves falling in love.

Anyway, this response is getting waaay too long, so I think I’m going to cut it off now. Thanks for the ask!!

[hanaeriin]

ohh I hope you're doing well and are taking care yourself on your break from tumblr!! oooh you have so many fandoms and faves that I unfortunately haven't watched before. I'd love to hear more about you and Kinich, and/or you and Dan Heng. what do you like most about them? and what do they like most about you? do you have any aus with them? also, what are your favorite tropes to read about in fics?

— ❄️

sorry for the late reply!! I was taking my time with answering your questions...hehe i got too excited>< !! hope this helps but feel free to ask more if you want more info!!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT THEM?

KiNiCH : I was immediately drawn to him by his eyes... like hello!? this is illegal to be that gorgeous and make my heart squeeze so hard man!! I find his reserved nature to be pretty attractive, he is good at his job too and I absolutely love when he expressed how much he cares about those who manages to get close cuz good day my lordy, I'm not okay after meeting this man @w@ also I absolutely love watching him bickering with jaw cuz they reminded me of me and my friend lol

DAN HENG : truth betold, I got exposed by my friends when I first saw him before hsr was released because all of them told me "ya, I can see why you would like him" LIKE PLS, I FELT SO CALLED OUT ABOUT WHAT KIND OF GUY I LIKE AHHH. Okie, so when I first saw him...my first thought that was he's so pretty and thought was dreaming at first because first of all;; THAT DARK HAIR AND BRIGHT COLOURED EYES, I'm so weak against that combo D: and again his reserved nature just pulled me in even further, I also love how he's like the protective older brother in the express and I just find his interactions so endearing 🥺👉👈

WHAT DO THEY LIKE MOST ABOUT YOU?

KiNiCH : his friends (mostly just ajaw yapping ahem) once told me that it's because I'm just easy to talk to and can make anyone feel comfortable after exchanging a few words despite my bluntness and also because I'm clumsy and is a bit reckless due to temper issues...so he often saves me from close calls/fights very often :D

DAN HENG : both of us are generally quiet people and don't go out often so we naturally get along but it's mostly just me being unhinged yapping while he would be focusing on something else, he likes the way i think and didn't mind about his past. Though it's very often that he would stopped me from smacking people who rubbed me on the wrong...ahem the people of the luofu ahem

DO YOU HAVE ANY AUS WITH THEM?

Not a lot but I do have some aus with them;; soulmates/past lovers, high school/college and some yokai aus...I has one au where one of us turn to animals and isn't able to turn back for a while, the other person would take care of them not knowing it's their lover!! Idk what to call it tho because I like the idea of the secretive lover slowly started missing you and didn't hide it in front of the pet animal (you) as time went on.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE TROPES TO READ ABOUT IN FICS?

I like reading all of tropes tbh but personal favourites are childhood sweetheart, fake relationship, opposite attracts, best friend's sibling/other friend and arranged marriage because those are really interesting to read for me ><