#the chapter was done at 12:30 and now it's 3 AM because I kept forgetting closing tags in my pesterlog formatting lmao

[birchbow]

Pieces move around the board, with varying levels of skill.  Gamzee gets vibe-checked.  Karkat asks questions.  The church elder groupchat pops the fuck off.  Feeder Travye gets conscripted into the most dangerous game.  Uderak undergoes the mortifying ordeal of being known.  The future Grand Highblood and greatest acrobatterer in the universe rises from the masses like a firebird to take her place center stage where she's always deserved to be.

Bonus:

[inkribbon796]

Egotober 2023 Day 5: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue

Summary: . . . Florida Teen Arrested for Putting Humans in Jars at Florida Zoo

Prompt: Jar

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Bing liked humans, they were fun. Some were less fun than others, but on average he liked them.

And in Gainesville he saw all kinds of interesting and fun people. He liked going to school fairs and the schools definitely liked having an actual sentient AI talking to their budding STEM students. He had the names of hundreds and even thousands of budding scientists.

His names.

Bing wanted to see what they would become, what they would do.

One of his names however was causing problems in the city. And Bing only knew that cause this human child, a teenager really, was using something he had given to every name he kept tabs on. A little pin with a minute amount of dead nanites. Unusable, but noticeable.

A little budding eco-terrorist, and a dangerous one. Most of the time, his names resorted to firecrackers or at the most dangerous a pipe bomb.

This one was more dangerous, this one was causing civic engineering damage. They were smart, not just in what they were doing, but in being smart enough not to get caught.

And Google was starting to get interested. He refused to tell Bing why he was so intent on finding this person.

Fourteen hours after he’d called the Egoton branch for help, he got a call.

“Bing, what’s up?” Silver called.

“Finally,” Bing said. “Finished putting out fires?”

There was silence for a bit. “No. We’re fighting Irish and American immigration to get Marvin over here. Fuck Dark, and fuck no one here being able to read aura. What’s the problem? An eco-terrorist?”

“Yeah, one of Gainesville’s brightest is turning to crime to push back against a couple things in the city. And they’re smart enough not to get caught. We’ve been trying to catch this kid for four months.”

“How old is this person supposed to be?” Silver asked.

“Seventeen,” Bing said. “We think. They’re at least in high school.”

“Too young,” Silver said. “Between them and the guy that keeps trying to solve crime over here we might be dealing with a miniature league.”

“Don’t have to, dude,” Bing said.

“What does that mean?” Silver's tone sounded dangerous.

“Google’s interested in them, not Dark, Googs is hella interested.” Bing’s mind was already made up.

“We can��t have children fighting super villains, they’ll die. I’d rather fight against them than have them up against Dark. I lost Iblis, I will not lose anyone else.”

“Iblis wasn’t killed by a villain,” Bing said.

“I’m not arguing this with you. Dark travels down there to talk with some snake kingpin almost monthly. And he can be down there in minutes. I take either nine or three hours depending on where the fuck Egoton is because I sure don’t know where I am right now.”

“I can’t let Google have this kid, I can’t,” Bing said and hung up. Silver tried to call him back but Bing didn’t pick up.

Bing kept ignoring him as he broke apart into nanites and jumped from electrical outlet to outlet until he got to the nearby zoo where the latest situation was.

The eco-terrorist was in the zoo, terrorizing some of the patrons in, what felt like to Bing, the funniest way possible. Three patrons trapped under what looked like giant glass jars, ranting at them.

It was as adorable as it was dangerous. A seventeen-year-old in blue and black biker gear. It was almost enough to make Bing forget about how much damage they’d done.

“How do you like it when something throws things at you?” The teenage future-supervillain told a woman whose jar he was standing on top of. They sounded male-leaning but Bing had been corrected enough times.

“Well,” Bing said as he leaned against one of the jars where a young man was inside of it. Smiling. “Should I make the joke, dude? Or are you going to traumatize these people in a whole new way?”

The teenager almost startled and climbed off it before they could fall off of it. “Bing. You’re early.”

And they landed directly into Bing’s nanites. Nanites surged around them to bind the teen where they stood. Making it look like the top half of a jar.

“Nah, I was going to get you eventually, kid.” Bing said as he took the time to free the civilians and send them off.

Only one of the trapped people tried to beat up the tied and bound teenager.

Bing easily snagged him by the arm and threw him back. “Nah, big guy. You don’t need to pretend to be a man by beating up a tied up teenager.”

And for good measure, Bing audibly and visibly took a picture of his face. That got the guy to run off.

Leaving Bing with the “junior supervillain” on the mostly empty path. “Hey there.”

“I have a right to remain silent and I have a right to a lawyer.” The young villain said.

Bing used his nanites to unclip the kid’s motorcycle helmet. “You sure do.”

“Hey!” The teen said, trying to twist away. But the helmet came off and there was a perfectly normal teenage face.

Bing didn’t even need to start scanning his face. The android knew exactly who this was.

Logan E. Naraj. Honors high school student, and valedictorian at Buchholz High School. He/Him. The most promising of Bing’s names. Perhaps the single smartest student in the entire area, let alone in Gainesville. Maybe in the entire state, even. Not just in grades, Logan was devastatingly intelligent, and his eco-terrorist actions were proving it.

“I knew it had to be you,” Bing said. “You’re one of the only people smart enough to be doing half the stuff you’ve been doing.”

That seemed to disarm Logan a little bit, clearly not expecting a compliment. But he didn’t say anything in kind.

Bing stuck the helmet to Logan’s chest with nanites. Then Bing started taking Logan out of the zoo.

Police met with Bing about halfway towards the entrance. He was placed under arrest, and placed in the back of a cop car. Where Bing followed them closely to the station.

They got Logan into a little holding room, Bing not letting the kid out of his sight. It was only a matter of time before Google tried to sweep in. Bing couldn’t even guess what Google wanted with an actual human, but Logan had yet to actually kill anybody. If Google got involved he would quickly start.

They were waiting for a state lawyer and CPS to come in for Logan. So all they could do, since Logan refused to cooperate, was wait.

One of the investigators came over to Bing.

“Your friend come for him yet?” The officer said.

“No, but that’s probably because the dude knows I’m here,” Bing shrugged.

“Do you know what he wants yet?” The officer was shifting around but Bing didn’t pull up a camera to see it. He just shook his head and they were quiet for a good minute.

Then the officer clearly felt like silence was a bad idea.

“Logan Naraj, glad to finally have a name for what might be a two-year stint in juvie,” the officer said as Logan sat on the couch, Bing refusing to take his eye off him. So the second camera had to come up.

“And not the first Naraj we’ve had in the system, probably won’t be the last time either.” The office was giving Logan a scoffing, dismissive look.

“Why?” Bing asked.

“His older brother is currently serving a five year sentence at Florida Corrections, assault with a deadly weapon. He was sentenced last year. No parents, no surprise really.”

“Hmm, don’t think you should be making comments like that about a kid smart enough to make death rays.” Bing’s synthetic heart gave out a little bit.

The officer didn’t seem convinced but Bing didn’t care, he only had to convince Silver. And Bing was trying to cover every argument Silver had. He needed to keep this kid out of trouble, eternally bench him, and keep him in school.

He was already sending out a couple of emails as he’d been taking Logan to the station. And as he was looking at Logan and hearing this human bad talk him, he got a response from the only person besides Silver that he needed permission from.

“He’s going to be my apprentice,” Bing said.

“Why?” The investigator said.

“Look, either I take him for the Coalition, and he does community service for us, or Google takes him and he builds weapons for Dark and the League. Choose.”

“You said that just Google was interested in him,” the officer said.

“Yeah, and Google works for Dark, if Googs has anything, Dark has it,” Bing said. “And I don’t know if you know what happens in Egoton but Wilford doesn’t stay in jail, now does he?”

Bing waited to go in when the CPS rep and the lawyer had finally gotten in. He let them go in and talk to Logan before Bing walked in without the cops.

He grabbed a chair and turned it so he could lean his arms on the top of the backrest.

“Hey,” Bing smiled. Before the lawyer could make a noise, Bing kept talking. “You don’t have to say a word. You’re probably going back home after this. I just wanted to cut to the point where we make a deal, not waste your time.”

“He doesn’t have to take any kind of deal,” the lawyer said.

“Oh, I know,” Bing said, still smiling. “In fact, I hope he sleeps on it. Decisions need time to make them wisely, and I know Logan here is a smart kid.”

The lawyer glanced at Logan, and Bing let them remind Logan not to say a thing.

Bing pulled out a little card with the Coalition insignia on it and Bing’s contact information. “I want you to personally become my apprentice with the Coalition.”

“You can’t be serious,” The CPS rep said.

“Oh, buddy, I’m very serious,” Bing said. He looked at Logan. “I know Googs has been contacting you, and I know because he was gloating about it. And I don’t want Google anywhere near you, dude. I don’t want Dark near you because anything Google has, belongs to Dark. Dark doesn’t care about anything but himself, that’s just a fact.”

Logan didn’t say anything, but his standoffishness didn’t seem as cold. Which was good.

“So we’re gonna take you home, you’re gonna think on this, and then if you want you call me. And we can start some balls rolling. Get you some more equipment. Have you not go to jail for almost destroying the bridge? Think of it as cutting around juvie and skipping right to community service?”

Logan stayed quiet but Bing could see the gears turning.

Bing smiled and walked out, leaving Logan with the humans, and a smile on Bing’s face.

The police were pissed, no surprise. They’d caught Logan but were unable to arrest him on the spot.

Bing watched CPS take Logan home, where he basically was by himself, and was given instructions not to contact Bing or Google.

The kid didn’t last the night.

Bing stood on his apartment step, to be polite, and waited as Logan answered the door.

“I’m not saying yes,” Logan said as Bing walked in.

“Well, this sure ain’t a no, dude,” Bing smiled as he looked around and basically placed a tracking marker in the place so he could quickly come and go from the place.

“Hey, you like Wendy’s, kid?” Bing said.

The kid just glared at him. “I’m vegetarian.”

“Neat, cool,” Bing smiled at him. “I’ll order something else.”

“You don’t eat human food,” Logan said.

“I mean, I can, but we’ll be talking about this for a while and you’ve been out all night,” Bing said as he sat backwards on a rickety kitchen chair. Leaving the slightly comfier armchair for Logan.

“I’m just allowed to join the Coalition?” Logan asked.

Bing gave Logan a huge smile. “I’m in charge of the South Branch of the Coalition, only Silver and Jackie have any extra say on stuff. I got Jackie’s approval a couple hours ago, and I can convince Silver. Don’t worry. The only thing you’ve got to worry about, little man, is staying in school, and staying out of trouble.”

“You’ve promised change,” Logan said.

“There are a lot of things wrong in this city, and with the country, Lo, you’re taking on the small fry. Normal people. I want bigger, dude. I want to take on people like Dark, people who are stagnating the city.” Bing said as he tried not to lean forward in the chair and break it.

“If I joined, what would I be doing day-to-day?” Logan asked.

“Investigative work, maybe researching various magical and no-magical artifacts, you’ll be in school a lot of the time, there’s no getting around that.” Bing said.

“Okay, if it’s between you and Dark, I guess I don’t have a choice,” Logan said.

Bing stood up and clapped his hands. “Alrighty, then, dude.”

Out of his arm he pulled out something that looked more like a watch then the rest of the Coalition communicators. “To our newest hero. Welcome to the party, my man.”

“Logic,” Logan said.

“That your name?” Bing asked.

“Yes, if I could pick one it would be: Logic,” Logan said.

“Perfect, my dude,” Bing said.

“Where do you stay, or are you allowed to tell me?” Logan asked.

“Hey, I live anywhere with good bandwidth,” Bing said, shrugging. “You need me anywhere, anytime, and I got you.”

“Noted,” Logan said, trying to act normal but Bing wasn’t fooled. Those facial expressions, that heart rate. He cared a lot, that made Bing very happy.

Bing held out his hand. “I can order that food, and then you can get some sleep. You’ve got school tomorrow, after all and we’ll keep talking about Coalition stuff after school.”

“Alright,” Logan said.

So Bing ordered some late night vegetarian Chinese food. Logan ate and then he went to bed, and Bing went to go and officially tell Google to back off from Logan. That he had it under control and Logan got to be theirs without also being Dark’s.

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 1

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

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I: Hello. Can you hear me? Good night. (t/n: He’s replying to a comment.) You can hear me? Hello. Welcome.

I: My tone sounds great today, ***-kun? (t/n: OP commented that his tone sounds great.) Of course I’ll be excited in the beginning of the stream. But only in the beginning.

C: Your voice somehow sounds young.

I: It’s because I just slept.

*Typing on twitter

I: I finally did it. This is a simultaneous worldwide stream. Do you understand it? Ah, I’m so tired. I’m tired of sleeping.

I: I’ll be drinking my coffee. Itadakimasu.

I: It was a long vacation, wasn’t it? When was the last time you guys heard from me? On September…Well, it doesn’t matter.

I: I don’t have anything particular to do for this stream. I just felt like it.

C: I’ve been listening to your streams repeatedly during holiday.

I: Thank you.

C: We last heard from you at the end of August.

I: I see. Thanks.

C: Thank you for your hard work on the manuscript!

I: I did the rough sketches first. I was brainstorming.

*Someone commented on Animal Rap.

I: Animal rap? I actually wanna try this. Actually, I’ve done recording for one video, but won’t it be scary if suddenly in the middle of the stream, animal rap video is uploaded. Without saying anything, suddenly there’s a new animal rap video being uploaded. Won’t it be scary stream?

(t/n: I’m not sure if the translations for this part is correct. He said something more but I haven’t reached this level of Japanese understanding skill. Forgive me.)

C: Animal rap itself is scary, so it’s okay.

I: What a hilarious thing to say. Are you actually afraid of animal then?

C: Have you got vaccinated?

I: Nope, since I’ve been locked up in my house. I want to though. I want to get injected a lot. Around 10 times.

C: Sensei, did you read Berserk chapter 364?

I: Is it the final chapter?

Y****: Let’s inject the head.

I: Nice one, Y****. Well, since Y**** is an introvert at school, he must be a non-popular kid. Because he doesn’t have any friends, he can’t wait to meet me. Is it like that? Hahahaha.

I: I’m not even aware of the things happening around me. I don’t even know when the exhibition in Osaka will open. I want you guys to tell me about me.

C: I’m aiming to be a mangaka, but having someone that can be a mentor for me to learn from is better, as expected?

I: I don’t think so. It depends. In some degree, it’s better to do it by yourself. If you really wanna write a manga and you wanna create an environment that allows you to do so, if there’s a chance to be an assistant, I think it’s better for you to grab it. Because you’re still not familiar with how these things work. I think it’s better to be an assistant first. You don’t have to be one for a long time though.

C: I want to diet. Where should I start?

I: Record your weight. Measure your weight and record it in calendar. Doing that makes you feel conscious about your weight. You’ll probably can lose weight that way.

C: Are you still eating oatmeal?

I: I’ve been eating Onigiri only. 

C: I wanna change job, but I’m anxious to because of the economic situation. Please encourage me!

I: It’s better for you to change job, since you said you wanted to. I think everyone is anxious. There’s no one who isn’t.

C: I’m happy that the JJ illustration that you posted on twitter will be made into goods!

I: Yeah, without my permission. Hahaha. When the illustration was made into goods without my permission, I was like “Eh? This is…”. I’ll stop talking about this. Hahaha. I won’t talk about this.

*Someone commented about Kingdom exhibition.

I: I wanna go to the Kingdom exhibition.

I: What I said just now (about JJ illustration) was a lie. Please forget about it. Are there companies like that? Of course not. I was just joking. If that’s the case, then anybody can freely turn my illustrations into goods. Though there’s a person who sent me the PugMax t-shirt.

C: I wanted to be a mangaka when I was small. As I got older, I only immersed myself in the real world. I’ll be a civil servant starting from next year. I don’t have the courage to challenge myself, so I want to give my unconditional support to those who are.

I: I don’t know how old you are, but you can still draw even if you become a civil servant. Just draw one if you really want to.

C: You have to collect royalty.

I: I do get royalty. I get 5 yen in total.

C: How old will you be this year?

I: 250,000 years old.

C: How are you?

I: Like usual. But I made progress on the manuscript, so I’m relieved. I kinda forgot how to draw it.

C: I thought you were in your 30s.

I: Nope, I’m far older.

C: You haven’t started game streaming?

I: I’m haven’t decided yet for today.

*People were discussing about his age.

I: Doesn’t matter how old I am.

C: Do you prefer women with long hair or short hair?

I: Short hair.

*People commented about Heavy Rain.

I: Oh, you want to see me playing Heavy Rain? I’m okay with that. I’m okay with playing games or anything. I’ll be a yes-man for today. Everyone’s yes-man & toy, Ishida Osushi.

*Someone commented about Animal Rap again.

I: I wanted to say something about this. I’ve done the animal rap video. I only upload videos I’ve received from the animal themselves, not me. But I was afraid to upload it, so I refrained from doing so. I wanna try uploading the video while streaming. That’s what I wanted to say. Well, it doesn’t really matter. I just upload it after I finish streaming. I don’t understand the need to upload the video and streaming at the same time.

(t/n: He said something more, but again, info on Animal rap is hard for me to decipher. I’m really sorry.)

C: What did you watch recently?

I: Movies.

C: There were people who got scared by the fact that Ishida Sui raps.

I: No, you’re wrong. Ishida Sui doesn’t rap. Ishida Sui doesn’t do streaming as well.

C: Do mangakas have the chance to meet women?

I: It depends on the person. The ones who’re locked up in the house won’t. But…That’s right. You might if the workplace has mixed genders. You also have the chance to meet people during party or some sort. I’ll always be at the corner every time I go to parties. It’d be nice if the party was fun and the staffs could enjoy themselves. I also said that I went to parties to take a break, but I hated it.

C: You’re not going to parties?

I: Nope, I won’t. The company doesn’t hold them as well because of the current situation.  Even if I did, I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t really eat the food, and introducing myself to people is tiresome.

I: S****** is here.

S******: Ishida Osushi can become a pro mangaka.

I: I’m aiming for it.

C: Fukuoka suits you, sensei.

I: Somehow, I feel grateful. It’s like you’re telling me that it’s okay for me to live in Kyushu.

(t/n: Kyushu is an island where Fukuoka is located.)

C: Sir Osushi, what do you think of Sir Sui?

I: I have a murderous intent towards him.

C: Does the thumbnail hold any meaning?

I: It does. Look forward to it.

C: Being a streamer suits you (Osushi) better than being a mangaka.

I: Hahaha.

C: The drawings of Neji (JJ character) by Ms. Towada were wonderful!

I: That’s right. Neji drawn by Ms. Towada. I want you guys to tell me something like this. I want you guys to tell me about my current situation. Things like, “would you retweet this?”, “This is JJ’s…”, “The CD’s also…”. Let me change my twitter account. First is Ms. Towada, right? Let’s retweet Ms. Towada’s tweets. I thought of drawing something like this. She drew quite a lot. She drew him more than me. I feel bad having her to draw it. I feel grateful rather than feeling bad. She drew a lot of them. Yonaga’s illustration looks nice. I see… There’s like an incomplete rough drawing. I thought of copying and drawing that illustration. I’ll just retweet this. Tell me what should I retweet next.

C: Is Ms.Towada doing well as well?

I: I talked to her a few days ago.

I: Do read Fool Night.

C: Do you like Aespa? (t/n: Aespa is a kpop girl group. Ishida had drawn one of the members.)

I: The girl caught my attention. I thought she was beautiful.

*Someone commented about his illustration of Ano-chan. (t/n: Ano-chan is a Japanese singer. Ishida had come to her radio programme once, and he did the album cover for her latest album.)

I: Ano-chan! What happened to that? Have you seen the album cover? It’s already out?

*Someone commented about Fool Night.

I: The world in Fool Night is super amazing. It was quite a while ago, the person in charge of the Superior magazine watched one of my streams and asked me if I could write some comments. I was like “Don’t tell me that!” (referring to watching his stream). I hate being seen. But then, I was like “whatever.” I usually turned it down, but I just wrote for this one.

*Someone commented about Wooma (t/n: an illustrator.)

I: Who’s Wooma? Let me check it.

C: Sensei, I’m a good child. So, is it okay for me to sleep?

I: Yes, of course.

C: Sensei, do you smoke?

I: No.

I: Ah, Wooma is the illustrator for the song ‘Usseewa’. Sorry for the lack of knowledge.

C: Do you watch Christopher Nolan’s works?

I: I’m not that familiar with movies, but I may or may not watch it. I’ve been getting into movies lately. I searched for the movies Takahashi Kunimitsu told me about. You tend to watch anything when you’re obsessed with movies, right? I was also obsessed with history for a while after I learned how fun it was from Takahashi Kunimitsu. I’ve been reading 2-3 books on history a day lately.

C: Until what time are you gonna stream?

I: Today is infinite as well. We have another 12 minutes left. Haha. I’ll keep on streaming today. I won’t end the stream today. It may end tomorrow. (t/n: He definitely kept his words.)

C: Sensei, do you like itzy? (t/n: Itzy is another kpop girl group, and Ishida had also drawn one of the members.)

I: Yes.

I: Tomorrow is a holiday? There are people who are not working tomorrow.

C: What are you drinking?

I: Coffee.

C: You only need another 800 people to reach 30,000 subscribers.

I: Yeah. It’s gonna reach 30,000. I have to make an appreciation stream or video for 30,000 subscribers. A lot of youtubers are doing this, so I have to do it too. I wanna do it. Feels like a youtuber. Isn’t it fun? I wonder what should I do for it? What would be fun? Let’s go with this concern first. I get lost if I don’t go one-by-one. It’s one of my bad habits.

*They’re planning on what Ishida should do when he reaches 30,000 subscribers.

C: Show your nails.

I: I don’t do manicure.

C: Heavy Rain.

I: Wanna play Heavy Rain as well.

C: Please let us hear your sneeze.

I: There is such person sometimes. Creepy.

C: Why don’t you play Ghosts n Goblins for now?

I: After the stream, I felt like playing the game. They had something like magical clock, though I forgot the name. The one that double the speed of the game. I really wanted to play that, honestly. Though, it wasn’t suitable for streaming. I thought of playing it in my own time. I really like that kind of games.

C: Will you sing when you reach 30,000?

I: During the previous silent stream, Queen Bee’s song was playing. Those who watched may know. I thought of appearing for a moment and sing and then end the stream. I wouldn’t do it, but I just thought about it. At that time, I wanted to try having just an illustration stream.

C: I’m waiting for an autograph session after the Corona ends.

I: The pandemic probably won’t end for at least 2-3 years.

*Someone wanted him to sing Gaston’s song.

I: Gaston. Singing, huh? Hahaha, why am I having second thoughts? I thought I’m okay with anything.

C: how about a karaoke battle?

I: Karaoke battle, huh?

C: Do you have any piercings?

I: I’m not wearing one right now, but I do have it. (t/n: I didn’t expect him to have a piercing. He’s really different than what I imagined a mangaka to be. XD)

C: I’m hoping for JJ’s song covers!

I: JJ? JJ’s songs are difficult. It was super hard during the time I did the covers. Seriously, when I heard it back…The cover for the opening theme was scary. I thought my singing ability had increased since I recorded this one the last. A few months ago, I listened to it after a long time, it was…what should I call it? A sutra, no, a curse. Me and JJ’s opening theme. I forgot the title of the song. Jack and something. There were parts in the songs where the female and male characters had to harmonise. To convey that part, I had to cover the song multiple times. I multiplied into 7 people, since I had to record as Kisa as well. When I was recording Kisa’s part, the other version of me at the back, probably Kai, was harmonising with me. I was told to deepen my voice by Mr.Kasama. So embarrassing. The voice was really low. I was drawn by Mr. Kasama’s voice. His voice was really good when he said ‘Broccoli’ for the cm.

*Ishida imitating Mr. Kasama.

I: It’s cooler than this.

*Imitating him once again.

I: I was like “So cool!”

C: Invite the animals that appeared in Animal rap as guests.

I: That’s a good idea. But what would the guests be doing? It’s absolutely hard to do that. It’s hard to invite the animals because of corona.

C: The title is “Jack & Jeanne of Quartz”.

I: Right. Thank you.

C: Won’t you invite Hanae?

I: I won’t. That’s impossible. (t/n: I want to see him playing horror games with Hanae Natsuki.)

Part 2

[axwalker]

Undeniable Miracle 2: Stranded

I’m participating in the 12 days of Christmas hosted by  @leelee10898 and @emichelle . Thank you so much  💕 💕

Synopsis: Alexis decides to leave Cordonia on Christmas Eve, but she has a car accident in the middle of the woods during a snow storm.

A/N: This AU takes place during Liam’s and Madeleine’s Engagement Tour.

A/N 2: Some vocabulary for the Spanish words.

A/N 3: I’m using the prompt: “If you’re so cold, why didn’t you say something? Come here.” requested by @mskaneko​ 

Fonda: Small Mexican restaurant.

Romeritos:  Tender sprigs of seepweed  which are boiled and served in a mole sauce seasoned with shrimp jerky blended into the mix. Typical additional ingredients include boiled potatoes, nopales and shrimp. They are usually served with bread slices and in tacos

Ensalada de manzana: combination of lettuce, beets, apple, and peanuts in a light orange vinaigrette

Bacalao:  Cod fish prepped with sautee onion, garlic, tomatoes and olives.

Pozole: Tradition Mexican soup made with Hominy, pork and peppers.

Villancicos: Traditional Christmas songs.

Warnings: I can’t think of anything for this chapter but there will be NSFW in future chapters. All my fics are for 18+ ONLY.

Words: 2718

Disclaimer: Characters and settings belong to Pixelberry.

@burnsoslow Thank you so much for beta read and for your encouragement. I love you and appreciate you so much.

The edit of the mood board is the work of beautiful @mskanekoI was dying to use it. I love youuu

When he sees I don't respond, he opens my door. "O'Brien? Are you okay?"

I blink, incapable of forming a coherent sentence. 

"Did you hit your head? You seem lost." Drake kneels in front of me.

Finally, I react. "What are you doing here?" 

"Hello to you too. I asked if you were okay."

"I'm fine. I need to call a tow truck."

"Yeah, right. There are no tow trucks in storms like this, O'Brien." He sighs and asks me to open the car's hood so he can check the engine. Five minutes later, he comes back, and I read his expression. The car is not going anywhere.  

"Sorry, O'Brien, but this car is not going to work for now, and the storm is getting worse. You're going to have to come with me."

I scoff. Drake is insane if he thinks I'll go anywhere with him. I've spent the last two months trying to forget everything about him; I don't need this right now. 

 "I'm sure I can find a way to get to Lythikos by myself."

"Shit, you're so damn stubborn, O'Brien. You aren't anywhere near there. It's about 50 miles away. I guess if your car had kept going about 50 miles through the woods, you might have landed there. Is that what you were trying to do?"

"Bite me, Drake."

"Wow, you really should do something about that attitude of yours." The asshole actually smirked. "I have a cabin a few miles up the road. We can go there and wait out the storm. My truck is parked on the road. I pulled over when I saw the car spinning."

"I'll wait here." 

"You'll wait for what? To freeze to death? Don't be ridiculous; you're coming with me."

I shake my head stubbornly. "I think freezing to death is preferable to going with you. Thank you very much." 

"You don't have much of a choice, O'Brien. I can't fuckin' leave you here. My cell phone doesn't work here, and I'm assuming yours doesn't either or else you'd be on it right now. They're expecting two feet of snow or more. So, I'm sorry if you're pissed at me or whatever, I'm not leaving you here."

I'm well aware that I'm behaving like a petulant, spoiled child, but my wish to make him as angry as I am overcomes all logical thinking. “As I said, I’m not going.”

 "I'm going to have to carry you to my truck then." 

"Carry me? No way. You are not touching me." I grab my phone again, begging my Abuela to send me just a little bit of phone service so I can call Max. 

"Either you get out of that by yourself, or I carry you. You have exactly 30 seconds to decide."

I shut my door and raise my phone, trying to get some signal. Suddenly, Drake opens the door, reaches into the car, and has me scooped up without effort into his arms before I can even protest. I barely have time to grab my purse. 

"Enough of your bullshit. Done," he states, then kicks my door shut and starts to walk up the snowy hill. 

I have no choice but to put my arms around his neck. "Let me go this second Walker!"

Drake stares at me and gently shoves a strand of hair off my face. I'm suddenly aware of how close our faces, our lips, are. Because my heart is stupid and has a mind of its own, it starts beating like crazy. Drake swallows hard, and for a second, I think he's going to kiss me; I'm almost closing my eyes when he speaks.

"Here we are." He puts me back on the ground and opens the door of his old Jeep. 

A bark coming from the backseat startles me.  

"Oh my god! He's beautiful! He looks like a wolf!"

Drake's eyes soften when he pets the animal.

"It's a Tamaskan dog." 

"Hi, boy! You're so cute!"

"He's not supposed to be cute; he's supposed to be terrifying." I turn my head, and I see he's teasing me. I shake my head and keep talking to the dog. "Don't listen to your dad, handsome; you're a cutie pie." 

"I'm not his dad. He's a damn dog, O'Brien." 

I rolled my eyes. "What's his name?" 

"Zeppelin. Get in the Jeep; I'm freezing my ass off out here."

I smirked at him. "I never realized how bossy you are." 

He shakes his head, but I catch the unwilling smile on his face. 

DRAKE

I glance to the seat next to me, still not believing that O'Brien is here, in my Jeep. I try to think of something else besides her maddening fruity scent or the curve of her neck, but I already know that my ability to function like a normal human being disappears when she's around. 

 I can't believe that I'm so fucking stupid to be still hung up on her after what happened in Ramsford. She made perfectly clear who she wanted to be with -- yet here I am, looking at her like a goddamn fool. 

We drive for a few minutes in complete silence. Suddenly a deer jumps out from the woods, right in front of the Jeep. I hear Alexis scream as I swerve, and the truck starts to slide and spin, gaining speed. In a second, I glance at her, throwing one arm across her chest to hold her against the seat when I see she doesn't have her seatbelt on. I try to regain control of the truck but it's not working. I feel the Jeep flying off the road and into the woods, crashing downhill and plowing down small trees, until it finally stops, wedged amongst a bunch of larger trees on the side of a hill. 

"Fuck!" I throw both hands against the steering wheel. "I can't fucking believe this shit!" I turn to O'Brien. "And why the fuck wasn't your seatbelt on?" 

“I thought you could drive!" She looks down at my arm, still holding her, and whispers, "Thank you." 

I rest my head against the wheel and take several deep breaths. "I'm sorry for yelling at you." My voice is level and calm, even if the thought that something could've happened to her while I was driving makes me murderous. "Are you okay?" She nods, still shaken. 

 "You okay, Zeppelin?" The dog whimpers and licks my hand. "That's a good boy. We're all okay." I try to restart the truck, but it's completely dead. I can't believe this; honestly, I just can't.

 "What are we going to do now?" O'Brien asks.

 "Well, we're out of cars, so unless you want to walk or ride the dog to my place, we're stuck here." 

She squints at me. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Walker."

"But the highest form of intelligence, O'Brien." I wink at her, and she rolls her eyes at me again. I've forgotten how much I loved teasing her. At least, I wish I had forgotten. "We're going to have to just stay put until the plow truck comes by, and we'll have to hitch a ride. Until then, we're in luck because I stopped at the grocery store on the way to the cabin. I have enough things we can eat and drink to keep us going until then. I have a big blanket in the back seat, so we should be able to stay pretty warm. It's really heavy and thick."

I saw the panic in her eyes, so I continued. "Hey, O'Brien, look at me." She raises those fucking beautiful dark eyes and meets my gaze. "I would never let anything happen to you, okay?"

She nods. "Okay. Yes, I know. I just hope we don't get hypothermia.”

"We won't, O'Brien. C'mon, I think we should both sit in the back seat, since there's a lot of room back there, and we can put the blanket over both of us. I think it will help keep us warmer."

She gives me an odd look but nods. "Right. Yes. I think it's the best idea." She climbs over the seat first, and my eyes roam over her perfect body. I suppress the urge to sink my hands in her delicious hips and sit her on my lap. I sigh and call Zeppelin to the front seat, so we have more space. 

"This is nice; it's very roomy," she says as she pulls the cover over both our legs. 

I can see that she's shivering. "If you're so cold, why didn't you say something? Come here." I put my coat on her shoulders, and she smiles at me. Fuck me if I wouldn't do almost anything for that smile. "Where were you going on Christmas Eve? I' would've thought you'd go to the Christmas ball in the palace."

She hesitates for a few seconds, but finally, she answers, "I was going to spend Christmas with Olivia in Lythikos."

I raise my brow in disbelief. "I must have a concussion, O'Brien; I just heard you were headed to Lythikos to spend Christmas with Olivia Nevrakis."  

"I know! Our friendship was … unexpected. At first, we were just trying to figure out who set us up. The whole Tariq thing that you stopped? It was a trap; someone was trying to blackmail both of us." 

I don’t want her to know that I spend every single free minute I have helping Max figure out who set her up. If I ever find the person who sent Tariq to her room that night and scared the shit out of her, I will kill him. 

"Yes, O'Brien, I knew. Liam told me."

She nodded. "Well, we're trying to get to the bottom of it together, so we've been spending a lot of late nights drinking bourbon and talking. She hides it very well under layers of sarcasm and abrasiveness, but she's extremely loyal and has a great heart. Just like you."

"If you compare me to that crazy redhead one more time, you'll be sleeping outside, O'Brien, and I can promise you, it's cold." 

She laughs. "Okay, okay, sorry. I won't do it again."  

I'm about to ask her why she's not spending Christmas with Liam, but she speaks before I can talk. "And you? What are you doing here?"

"I moved to a town close to Lythikos a month ago. I'm opening a veterinary clinic there. This morning I went to supervise the construction site and to get some groceries for the cabin." 

She looks pensive but doesn't say anything for a while. "I hope you're happier here than you were in the palace, Drake,"she finally says, so softly that I almost miss it. 

I take a deep breath because I can't tell her the truth. I can't tell her that I can't be happy now, not after her. When I kissed her that night, I lost everything. She would never be mine, and after that, we couldn’t even be friends anymore.

"Thank you, O'Brien," I reply anyway because I know she's expecting some sort of answer.

 "How did you get Zeppelin?" she asks as she pets my dog, and I swear the traitor's mouth curls up into a little doggy smile. 

"I was running some errands for the clinic when I saw him tied up outside. I came back a few weeks later on a sunny day, and this poor dog is just tied up to a fence on the side of the building with no shade or anything, and I don't even see a water dish or food. So I park my car and check on him, and he's all happy to have someone pet him, tail wagging like mad. There was an old food dish off to the side, but it was empty, and a dish with some dirty water. I went to my house and grabbed some of the toys and food I'd bought for the clinic. I also gave him some water, and he drank three fucking bowls. I felt terrible leaving him. I just had this bad gut feeling, you know?" She nods with misty eyes. "Anyway, I had to go back to Cordonia city after I gave the dog the stuff. To be honest, I kind of forgot about him. But when I came back, O'Brien, it was awful. I honestly think the last time he ate was the food I'd given him. He was nothing but skin and bones, too weak even to stand up. He was just lying there in the dirt with flies buzzing all around him. But when I kneeled in front of him, his little tail wagged a tiny bit. I think he remembered me." 

Tears spring into her eyes. "My God, Drake, what happened?" 

I see how affected she is, so I reach her hand and squeeze it. "An old man came out of the little building and started yelling at me to get off his property. There was just no fucking way I was going to leave him there. I told him that if I ever saw a dog or any other animal on his property ever again, I would fucking kill him. The douchebag just ran back to the house. I took the dog to my cabin. He was dehydrated and almost starved to death, had two ear infections, worms — you name it. We've been together ever since." Zeppelin looks up as if he knows we're talking about him. 

She wipes a tear and caresses Zeppelin's ear. "You named him?"

I shrug. "Best band ever." 

"Ha! You're so predictable, Walker."

 "How do you know my last name? I never gave it to you." 

"I asked Maxwell at the coronation. Why? You don't like it when I call you that? Turnabout's fair play, Walker." She bits her bottom lip; I look away before the impulse to kiss her becomes unbearable, and I do something stupid. Again.  

"Nah, I like it, O'Brien. Calling each other by our last names will be our thing." 

She sighs, not talking for a while. "What is it, O'Brien? I can almost see the wheels turning in your head."

"We're going to spend Christmas Eve here, stranded in the middle of nowhere."

"I know; I'm sorry, O’Brien. Do you usually do something special?"

She looks up to me with so much vulnerability in her pretty face, I find it hard to breathe. I instinctively come close to her because I hate that look in her eyes; I hate even more that I was the one who put put it there with my fucking dumb question. Her mom and grandma are dead; of course it's a sad subject.

 "Not in a long time. It was one of the holidays my mom, my Abuelita and I celebrated together. We didn't really do Halloween because my mom's Fonda was so busy preparing for Dia de Muertos. The day of the dead," she explains.

 "I know, O'Brien. You made me watch Coco with you and Maxwell in Applewood." I can't help but smile at the memory. She forced us to watch the damn movie in Spanish only to hit "pause" at every single scene to translate it and explain the traditions.

 "Well, Coco had it right! They really respected our traditions!" she replied, her eyes shining as they always did when she was excited. "Anyway, my mom worked for most holidays, and I was forced to spend Thanksgiving with my dad, his crazy wife, and her creepy son. So, Christmas was the best. Especially Nochebuena, Christmas Eve. We had this huge dinner where all our neighbors came to the house and brought Mexican dishes. We had everything; bacalao, romeritos, ensalada de manzana, and the best pozole in Brooklyn. We sang villancicos, had a piñata. The whole thing. My abuela took the holidays seriously," she says with a sad smile. 

I might be a fucking fool, but I can't stand seeing her this sad. And, suddenly, I know what to do. "We might not be able to have a traditional Mexican Nochebona ..."

She giggles. "No-che-bue-na, Drake."  

I think I could spend the rest of my life here listening to her speaking Spanish.“Yeah, that.” I watch through the window and when I see that the storm has calmed, I say, “I have an idea; just wait here." 

Tagging: 

@texaskitten30  @leelee10898 @emichelle @burnsoslow @kat-tia801

@msjr0119 @twinkleallnight @mskaneko @drakexwillow @twinkle-320  @kimmiedoo5 @kingliam2019  @drakexwillow @princessleac1 @marshmallowsandfire  @tinkie1973 

[pixie88]

Last Night of Freedom

Chapter 12 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: This chapter I wrote at 2 AM this morning my little one had a bad night but I’m glad I wrote this. I hope it makes sense I hope I got all the mistake. I didn’t plan this chapter it just kinda happened. There are quite a few of my own stories in this chapter but I won’t give away what! I hope you laugh as much as I did! I hope you like it! 😘

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this series from now on as I don’t want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!  

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1676

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, Talk of male and female body parts & Mild NSFW

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

3 Months later.

I found my wedding dress, now I know what brides mean when they say once they find THE DRESS they know! You really do know! It's now 5 months before the wedding, and we decided to do the Hen and Stag do's now because Nina can't take anymore holiday off until the wedding.

We pull up to mum's club, Nina, Elaine, Amy and Kerry have already gone through 4 bottles of Prosecco in the limo ride over here, but we did get stuck in traffic thanks to road works.

"Ready for your last night of freedom El's?" Tom asks.

"Why do people say that? It's not like once you're married you're locked away forever, never to be seen again?"

"OK, I was just asking!" he pulls an awkward face.

I shove him "I know, I'm messing with ya! Looks like we are here finally"

We pile out of the limo and into mum's club "Ellie!! Ready for your big night?"

I roll my eye "Yeah, because I always wanted L plates on my chest and in my hair!"

"Don't forget the tutu and feather boa, El's" Tom laughs.

"Right, because how could I forget them, they are bright pink!" I laugh.

"I really don't get the whole L plate thing? She knows how to drive I thought?" Elaine looks confused.

"Well, she must do she's already taken Adam out for a test drive!" Amy winks.

"Oi, you! Stop it! I won't have my husband spoken about like that!" I giggle.

"Who wants cocktails?" Mum asks.

"Mum, Nina loves a blue lagoon. Don't you Nina?"

She gags but laughs.

"El's you choose!" Mum says.

"Nah, I can't drink too much I've only expressed enough for 3 days..."

"Argh, El's can we not talk about your tits please" Tom protests.

I laugh, "Mum, make these guys anything I'll just stick with soft drinks and a couple of Prosecco's"

~*~*~*~

Yup that didn't go to plan.....I'm currently struggling to get a jelly shot out of plastic shot glass and I have Nina shouting "SUCK IT" at me...that's not something you hear your mother in-law shout at you everyday.

I finally got it out "I did it!" I shout!

"El's, here!" Tom passes me something green in a shot glass.

"Tom, I can't..."

"Oh, come on El's 1 more! It's only Apple Sourz. We all have one!" Tom pleads.

"Actually, I think I'm with Ellie on this one" Elaine says. So, Tom reaches to take the shot glass off her, but she turns away, so he can't as she takes tiny sips.

I laugh, "Fine! But no more after this!"

He winks "Pinky promise," he hands one to Nina who has just come back from the toilets.

"Ewww, who got Hulk to piss in a cup!" Nina looks at the shot glass in horror!

We knock back the Sourz "Oh, that was actually quite nice! Can I get a pint of that?" Nina asks.

A little while later I'm at the bar with Elaine, "How do you feel about having the same penis forever?"

I choke on my water "Excuse me? Elaine you did not just say that!"

"I..."

I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn expecting to see one of the other Hen's but I'm greeted by a man with jet black hair and a toothy smile "Last night of freedom ay? Your husband to be is a lucky man. Can I buy you a drink?" he winks as he looks me up and down.

I roll my eyes! There's that saying AGAIN! "Actually, no I'm already married and no I wouldn't like a drink thank you and also you aren't my Adam, so I will not be wasting my last night of freedom with anyone other than my Adam thank you" I usher Elaine away and we join Nina and Mum

"The nerve of that guy" Elaine hisses "Anyway Ellie...hiccup you didn't answer my question!"

"Huh?" I ask her.

"How do you feel about having the same penis forever?" she asks.

"MUM!!!" a tipsy Nina laughs "She clearly enjoys my Adam's pen...."

"OK!! Can we stop talking about my husbands genitals, please?!" I shout.

"Genitals? Who's talking about genitals and why wasn't I invited to this conversation?" Tom asks as he joins us.

"No one was!" I hiss.

"Well, actually we were talking about Adam's..." Nina laughs.

"Argh, OK maybe I don't want to be a part of this conversation" Tom says. 

"Well, El's you were the one that brought up the word genitals.." Mum chimes.

"Yes, because I didn't want to say the word..."

"Penis?!" Elaine cuts me off.

Tom Howls.

"Yes!" I shook my head.

"So, Ellie...." Elaine says.

I give in and answer her question "Yes, Ellie I would like to have Adam's same penis forever!"

"Well, it's clear you enjoy it! Mel and I have seen and heard proof of it" Nina laughs.

"She sits on it enough" Tom jokes.

"Yeah, and you aren't the only ones that have heard and seen it!" Elaine chips in.

I look at her in shock "What? When?"

She blushes as she takes a sip of her drink "It was just after you moved in together...you hadn't got the curtains for the living room yet. I was upstairs in my bedroom about to close my curtains..well, obviously you guys are opposite and you did have that hedge but I could see into your living room from there. Adam was in his boxers dancing on your lap I turned away as soon as I realized what he was doing. I phoned him to tell him that you two could be seen. He answered, but I think he did it by mistakes as all I heard was moaning. I think you may have given the whole street a show"

Oh god that was the night he gave me a strip tease,and we burst one of the blow up sofas.

"Oh, El's you exhibitionist!" Tom chuckles.

"I'm not! I didn't know!" I hiss at him.

"Nothing wrong with being an exhibitionist. The times me and your dad got caught in Bella!" she laughs.

"Wait...Bella? My car Bella?" I ask, hoping she means a different Bella.

She laughs, "El's, she was your dad's car first! We did clean the seats, bonnet and the boot. Like you haven't done it in that car!"

I gag at the thought of my parents having sex in my car "No! Actually, I haven't"

"But you and Adam christened your new car!" Tom winks.

"TOM!" I shoot at him.

"What? You never said I had to keep it a secret!" he laughs.

"I remember Al and I getting caught once. It was on his Nan's sofa, they came back from their holiday early. We were living with them at the time I think I fell pregnant with Adam on that sofa...Not that time, another" Nina tells us.

I look to Tom for help "El's lets go and see Amy and Kerry," he pulls me with him.

"Thank you!" I kiss his cheek.

"That's what big brothers are for," he smiles.

~*~*~*

It's nearly 2:30 AM when I sneak in, I get to the top of the stairs and our bedroom light is on. I quietly open the door just incase Adam has Charlie in there.

When I get through the door, it's just Adam with the TV on, he smiles when he spots me "There's my beautiful already wife! Did you have a good night?"

"What are you still doing up?" I ask.

"I can't sleep without you," he winks.

I flop on to the bed "Aww, you fluff ball. Has Charlie been OK?" I ask.

"As good as gold! He went down in his cot at 7 PM and woke for a feed at 11 PM" he smirks.

"I have a confession to make" I give him my best pout.

He smirks " What have you done?"

I bite my lip "I kinda had more to drink than I planned too"

He chuckles "Is that it?"

"I wasn't supposed to have that much, but then there were shots and jelly shots and your mum was shouting at me to suck it..."

He looks confused "Wait? What?" he's laughing.

"I couldn't get the jelly shot out the plastic shot glass so she started shouting suck it at me" I laugh.

"God! What else happened?" he asks.

"Nan kept asking how I felt about having the same penis forever, then I found out my parents christened every part of Bella and did you know you were conceived on your dad's parents' sofa? Wait, that's not the best part Nan saw your strip tease and heard the after show. Also, some guy tried to buy me a drink but I told him I only wanted my Adam"

He looks half shocked and half amused "First question first what was your answer?"

"To the penis question? Yes, I am very happy to only have yours" I blush.

"Second question, how did parent sex even come up?" he asks.

"This was after Nan had explained she saw us from her bedroom window after we moved, then you pressed accept instead of decline when she phoned you and she heard us"

"Last question, your Adam?" he smirks as he pulls me on top of him, so I'm straddling him.

"Yes, my Adam" I wink "I bet on your stag do, you'll have all the girls falling at your feet"

He chuckles "They can fall all they want there is only one woman that gets my heart racing and my dick pulsing! She is the mother to my child, my beautiful wife and my sassenach!" he smirks.

Pulling me tightly to him, claiming my lips before rolling us, so he's on top "Adam, Charlie will wake up soon!" I giggle as he trails kisses from my lips to my chest.

"We better be quick then," he whispers against my inner thigh.

"Fuck!"

@lem-20​ @aussieez​ @shewillreadyou​ @khoicesbyk​ @txemrn ​ @irisofpurple​

He pulls down my skirt with my underwear and continue his trail up to my core...

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 13.

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: The Mother Chapter 13 - Are There God? It’s Me A Winchester

Warnings: Witchcraft?? Some Angst

Word count: 1.9k

Where it all began. 

Summary: Mandy and Dawana cast the spell to shield her from Chuck and work against the Project to take them down. 

Guest OCs: Dawn Floyd (FC: Anna Diop), Camille Floyd (FC: Tati Gabrielle)

Guest Characters: Raphael [Supernatural; female vessel]

Note: Sorry for the delay on the chapters, I'm working on other writing projects and dealing with work and class.

_______

“I wish to know about your past” Joseph tells Mandy, standing in the middle of his church. Cupping her cheeks, looking down at her. 

She takes a deep breath, looking up at him. “I-I’ve. I’ve killed people” she starts off, trying to keep herself from crying. “I’ve killed people. Innocent people. I wish to forget about it. Forget about it all, like it never happened”. 

He runs one of his hands through her hair, showing her comfort. While his other hand cups her cheek. 

“I’ve done bad things to people, I lost my girls because of it” she mutters, looking away from him. She’s not even acting anymore, this shit is all fucking legit, she’s hurting her own feelings just by telling him all of this. 

Reliving the painful memories she had to go through. Whether it was from 13 years ago, 20 years ago, or 7 and a half months ago, she’s feeling and hearing everything single word, and it still hurts her. No matter how strong she tries to be. 

Knowing she has to wait all of this out until the New Moon. She must be patient. Remembering that Raphael left something for her under her pillow, she goes to the room, her and Joseph share, and checks underneath her pillow. 

She finds her deceased husband’s journal. She smiles at it, unwraps the string that keeps it closed and opens it. Reading through it, Joel’s handwriting was always easy to read, it was neat, clean and he also had a very steady hand. Other than the monsters he hunted, he wrote about his life. 

His kids Paige and Katella, Mandy, his younger brother Brent, his childhood and upbringing. Trying to hold back her tears, a part of her wishes she could have her husband back. She knows he watches over her, and their daughters. 

1 month later. 

The New Moon is here, only 12 hours to go until 3 am. With the help of Dawana and her 14 year old daughter Camille. Mandy has everything for the spell. 

She had to keep a low profile from the Voodoo Priestess until the New Moon. Giving her instructions on where to meet her and the correct time to, and angle of the moon. That sort of stuff. 

The spell must be done as it should be, no screws up, can’t waste any time with this spell. Every second counts. They have their location ready, and all the supplies they need. 

Standing next to Joseph for his Sunday sermon, the church filled with his loyal followers. His Children, what he calls them. 

Listening to every word he says, thinking about the utter betrayal she is about to bring to the Project. Turning her back on them, stabbing them in back. 

Helping out the Resistance and the Whitetail Militia. 

With only 10 hours left, she keeps her low profile by being with Joseph for the rest of the day. 

Raphael appeared to her a few times that day to check up on her. Knowing that he’s risking a lot for his human, and a chance that’ll be cast out of Heaven for his disloyalty. Withdrawn from his wings and grace. Being deprived of his angelic powers, and living as a human on Earth. 

Being on the same boat as his older brother Lucifer. 

“You know I’m taking a huge unforgivable risk for you” he tells Mandy. Standing next to her while Joseph does his sermon in the filled church with his brothers and sister behind him.  

“I know” she responds to him in her mind. Looking over at the 3rd Archangel for a split second before turning back to The Father. 

“There’s a risk of me being cast out of Heaven for this disloyalty” he tells her, “God is too busy creating multiple universes and worlds to see this betrayal you, Dawana and myself are planning”. 

She knows all the risks, all God has to do is check on her situation, and see what she’s plotting. Then the next thing she knows there’s a huge mushroom cloud in the sky, and bombs are going off. Killing and wiping out all life on Earth. 

“I know, but a part of me feels like we’ll pull this off” she tells him in her mind, “We’ll get away with this, so called heist”. 

He looks at her with slight fear in his eyes, Archangels are Heaven’s most powerful weapon, they’re loyal soldiers to God. They’re his eldest children. Slightly more powerful than the average Angels, like Castiel, Balthazar, Samandriel, Anael and Gadreel. 

Raphael was always the introverted one of the Archangels, he kept to himself. He did his duties as one of Chuck’s strongest and powerful warriors. He always tried to be one of the loyal ones, like his older brother Michael. He wanted to be on his Father’s good side, the one thing he feared and that includes all Angels. Arch nor not, the one thing they all feared was being cast out of Heaven. Losing their wings and their grace. 

Leaving Heaven for a short time, like visiting Earth, and leaving Heaven completely are two different things. 

Within milliseconds he could go from being Heaven’s most powerful weapon to being an average weak human. Just by taking away his powers and wings. 

*****

After Joseph’s sermon, him and Mandy have a private conversation away from the others. 

“Amanda, I wish to speak with you privately” he tells her. She nods her head, and they go to their shared home. 

Inside the kitchen, he tells her about The Voice, in which she knows that it's Chuck talking to him.

“The Voice, God, he’s telling me about the New World. How everything will be. How you and I will be. He told me that the world is on the brink. That the world is on fire. Something is coming. I can feel it, you can feel it, can’t you?”. 

She nods, “Yes, I feel it. I feel the overwhelming tension it brings. Almost like an explosion of hot, burning air. That is toxic, but will make the world clean and free of sin”. 

He nods his head, agreeing with every word she says, “That is how it ends, with time, we will march to the Gates of Eden to our New World. The world God created for us”. 

Seeing how convinced and determined he is about the New World. Seeing how Chuck has convinced him about the Collapse. The End. The Reckoning. 

Telling him to save as many souls as he can for the Collapse, building bunkers to keep his people safe from the cleansing explosions. Being a modern day Noah, or Hell if you want to hear something that is older than Noah and the Ark. 

The Epic of Gilgamesh in Mesopotamian mythology, and history. Which is also 800-2,000 years older than the story of Noah and the Ark, where the story is basically the exact same thing, just different time periods, while one is based on facts with evidence, and the other is a fictional story from a book of stories. 

*****

With only 5 in half hours until 3am. Mandy gets another visit from Raphael in her home with Joseph. 

“Less than 6 hours Mandeline” he reminds her. She sighs, “I know. I’m just waiting it out”. 

“You know where to go?” he asks. She nods, “Yes, I know where to go. The land that is in the southern part of the Henbane River. It’s isolated from everything”. 

“Prosperity” he tells her, “It’s quiet and no one ever goes there”. 

She nods, “Does Dawana know where it is?”. 

“Yes, she knows where to go” he tells her, “She knows what time to get there. Just before the New Moon passes”. 

Mandy waits it out until 3am. It’s gonna be a long wait, most of the Cult, including Joseph didn’t sleep that night, he was busy working and writing sermons in the church. 

At around 1am, she told Joseph she was gonna go to sleep. An hour and 30 minutes later, Raphael visits her again. Teleporting the both of them to the south end part of the Henbane River. 

Prosperity, a ghost town that was abandoned by its owner so that he could take over his dead rival’s town Falls End in Holland Valley all out of spite. 

20 minutes until 3am, Dawana arrives with her daughter Camille who is a Voodoo Priestess in training. 

“We still have time to set up” Dawana tells Mandy, “This is my daughter Camille”. 

Mandy smiles at her, she’s probably the same age as her eldest daughter Paige. 

They set up their altar, making a circle of candles and lighting all of them. 

“Okay so we all take each other's hands and we say the verse together, in sync or else the spell won’t work” Dawana informs Mandy and her daughter.  

They all join hands, and wait for the New Moon to appear. Raphael stands away from them, watching them from 10 feet away. Hoping this will turn out the way Mandy said it would. As soon as the New Moon appears, as a white ring like shape in the sky, they all, at the same time, cite the verse in Enochian. Looking up at the New Moon. 

“Uranun Caripe Baglen Olgemeganza de-Noan Chiis Gosaa Zamicmage Oleol Ag-Sapah arphe, Oresa ethamz taa”. 

The wind starts to pick up, the candles stay in tack, not blowing out or in the direction of the wind. Still looking up at the moon. 

“Tabegisoroch, Zodinu, Ar zurah paremu. Zodimibe papnorge maninua zonac. Dodsih hoxmarch trian amonons pare Das Niis kures”. 

They finished the ritual, the night standing in complete silence for a brief moment. Standing inside the circle of candles, they ring of the New Moon shining down on them, making a perfect circle of moon light around their circle of lit candles.

“Is that it?” Mandy whispers, breaking the silence. Right after she asks that, a loud rumble is heard off in the distance, sounding like thunder, or the Horn of Gabriel. A lightning strike lights up the sky for a brief moment. 

“It worked” Camille whispers. Out of seemingly nowhere, a strong wind flies by, blowing out all the candles, leaving them in complete darkness.

“Raphael did it work?” Mandy asks the Archangel. 

“Yes, you are invisible to God now” he replies, answering her question.

He takes her back to Joseph's compound, before anyone could notice she was gone. 

Before he leaves, he tells her, “I’ll be sure to keep an eye on you from Heaven. Now that you’re invisible from God, you can work against the Project. Also Chuck won’t be able to see you. He’ll see another you”. 

She nods, “Yeah I believe you told me that already. He’ll see me doing my duties as The Mother”. 

The silence between the two, the sound of peggies talking outside on the compound property. 

“Get some rest, and do your bidding against the Project” he tells her, “I’ll check back on you within the next couple of days”. 

The sound of his wings fluttering, making a small breeze within the house, and he disappears. Leaving Mandy in the small kitchen of her home. 

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 42

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope you enjoy this! i really hope its worth a read! please send me requests for the few chapters left. i have the last chapters totally planned and they cant really be changed, but i can add a few things in them. as for the next few chapters, just send me anything you want for them!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! :  i changed it a bit i hope its ok! i used an other request for the chapter but it was part of many requests in the same ask so im not adding it in case i use the rest too. basically, it says “Louis being upset at losing his roommate”

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 42 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 21st, 2018

I was happy that Dylan hadn't asked Heidi to be there the next day since we were about to film the scene I feared the most. Niall had a few things to do but he told me he'd join me a bit later on the set. If I wanted to be honest, though, I was sort of happy he was not there, if only because this scene was going to be tough to play and knowing he would be there when I was filming it would make me even more nervous.

I jumped slightly when someone knocked at the door and walked to it with a frown. I had decided to eat in my dressing room if only to be alone and try to get back in those horrible feelings I had when Niall broke up with me. I remembered the rain, I remembered running away, I remembered the way he was looking at me and the way my heart twisted in my chest, feeling like it was stuck in a vice. I remembered the tattoo I had just got of a heart around his name, on the skin of my back, and how much it seemed to burn. I remembered running to Louis and crying with him. I remembered everything of that night. It was so vivid I felt like I would never forget. I knew this memory would never be blurry, I knew I'd remember every fucking second of it for the rest of my life.

When I opened the door, Dylan looked up, and my heart skipped a beat when I realized how vulnerable he looked with his sad eyes and his hands in his pockets. I was used to the confident and funny man who had been my rock for so many months. Now he looked exhausted and hurt.

"Can I come in?"

I nodded and licked my lips, moving away to let him in and I closed the door as he turned around to face me. We remained in front of each other just staring in each other's eyes until I moved my arm to show him the couch.

"Please, sit."

We kept silent for a few more minutes after sitting down and all I could hear was my heart thumping against my rib cage. I didn't know why he was there and I didn't want this conversation to turn bad. I knew what kind of person he was though and I knew it would most likely not end up in screams and insults, but he was with Heidi now, and I knew what she was capable of.

"I'm sorry, Olivia." he finally let out with a sigh before rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry for bringing Heidi here yesterday. I mean, I didn't even invite her she sort of... invited herself. But that's not the point, I mean I knew how you felt about her and I promise I didn't do that to piss you off, or make you uncomfortable."

My lips parted and after a while, they curled slightly. "I know, don't worry about it." I just shook my head a bit. "But Dylan, are you serious? I mean Heidi? Really?"

"Does it bother you?" he asked with a sad smile as he looked up.

"No, it doesn't. You can date whoever you want it's just... I'm surprised. After all you said about her... After all we said about her." I corrected myself. "Just be careful okay?"

"Liv," he chuckled, raising his eyebrows. "I'm not gonna marry her. She just... eases the pain, I guess. Some sort of a rebound."

"Basically, you two fuck."

This time, he laughed and leaned against the couch. "Pretty much." he shrugged and put his gaze into mine, his smile faltering a bit. "She's no you, but she's not bad looking when naked."

This time, I let out a loud laughter that made him smile more. "As long as she keeps her mouth shut, maybe!"

"Yea, that doesn't happen often, unfortunately."

I laughed again and rolled my eyes before tilting my head and pressing my lips together, staring at him some more. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Dylan."

"No, I'm sorry." he lost his smile and closed his eyes for a few seconds before moving closer and leaning his elbows on his knees. I frowned, a bit stressed about why he was acting like that but when he sighed again, I held my breath. "I'm the one who told her. About you and Niall. I told her you cheated on me and that I said it was okay, and she asked when it was and she just.. connected the dots. It's my fault she made that instagram shit. I hope you can forgive me."

I swallowed hard still looking at him. I couldn't really blame him and I was a bit surprised that I didn't think that he could be the one who told her, especially after seeing them together a few days before. It was so obvious now and I mentally slapped myself for being an idiot.

"Done." I just replied with a small smile. "Anything else I can help with? World Peace? Starvation in third world nations? Anything?"

He laughed and sent me a small smile as I became more serious. I didn't want us to be on bad terms and yes, it felt weird to think that only a few weeks ago, we were supposed to get married, but we both needed to move on from that.

"Heidi and I we just... bonded over the fact that we felt betrayed, and we were sad and hurt, you know? We won't spend our lives together. I don't have feelings for her I'm just.. trying to move on."

I stared at him again, keeping quiet for a few minutes, not wanting to say something wrong. We had had good moments together, and I couldn't pretend I didn't miss him but at the same time, I didn't miss the love relationship we had. I was with Niall and no one else made me feel like he did. No one else ever did make me feel like Niall did, not even Dylan, whom I was ready to marry.

"I really hope it works, Dyl." I sent him a fond smile, tilting my head. "You deserve the best."

                                                      ----

May 22nd, 2018

What woke me up in the middle of my nap in the afternoon was a soft piano melody and before my eyes even opened, my lips curled into a fond smile. I put my pants on and got out of bed, following the music and yawning a bit on my way as I tugged at my hair. When I entered the living room, Niall looked up and sent me a smile as he kept playing and finally licked his lips, taking his hand away from the keys and raised his eyebrows.

"How did sleeping beauty sleep?"

"I don't know about her," I started with an other yawn. "but I slept very well, thank you."

"I was talking about you, silly!" he chuckled. "You sleep all the time, and you're beautiful. This is now officially my new nickname for you."

I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted as he laughed. "If you call me that, I'll start calling you Neil."

I smiled when I saw him grimace and finally sat next to him on the small bench, facing the piano. I've always wanted to play and at the same time, i loved watching Niall play. If only I could be as talented as he was in something... anything, really.

"You're so damn good, I swear, I'm jealous."

"My piano skills are pretty basic."

"Lies!" I quickly replied, turning my head to look at him and raising my eyebrows. "You always say that and we both know it's bullshit." I turned back to the piano and placed my hands on the keys as if I knew what I was doing. "Here's a little something I can play for you.”

I let an amused smile appear on my lips and finally used just two fingers to play a short song on the piano, missing one or two notes as I did. When I turned back to him, he was smiling big, trying not to laugh.

"Is that 'Take Me Out To The Ball Game'?" he asked, unable to stop a chuckle from escaping his mouth. "Played with literally two fingers?"

"Don't laugh! I taught myself that."

He started laughing anyway and I raised my nose up, pushing his upper arm with mine and making him laugh even more. He smelled good and he looked gorgeous. I was trying not to think about the fact that he was leaving in a few days and when I looked up at him, he licked his lips.

"Do you want me to teach you?"

My lips curled into a happy smile but I tried to hide it by pressing them together before nodding. He chuckled and proceeded to take my hands and placed them over the keys. I tried to listen to his instructions but my mind drifted away after a while as I looked at his fingers slide gently on the keys for a while before my eyes moved on his arm and up to his chest and his face. I stared at his lips moving for a few seconds before blinking a few times as I tried to get out of my thoughts.

"Are you sleeping again?" he asked, raising his eyebrows with a smile.

"No... no I just..." I shook my head and chuckled. "Play that song. The one you had in hands in my dressing room. You said you needed a piano well there's one. I want to hear you sing."

"I was teaching you how to play darling." he pointed out, making me tilt my head.

"Play Niall, please."

He stared at me and I felt my heartbeats accelerate. I couldn't believe I was here with him and that he was looking at me like that. After a while, he just nodded and licked his lips before his fingers glided on the keys again.

"Maybe we are the champagne lovers Lay in the dark, we are stargazing now Well, I don’t like it.

Rolling the dice just to feel the thunder Deep in the heart of a downward spiral Falling, we’re falling.

We should twist the knife Put it all to bed, I Need to understand what it takes to love again

So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep.

You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We‘ve both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.

Maybe we are the perfect strangers Only the stories left on paper now And I don’t like it.

We should twist the knife Put it all to bed, I Need to understand what it takes to love again

So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep.

You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We‘ve both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.

Come back to me You won’t say you’ll come back to me."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and swallowed the lump in my throat with difficulty. Silent came back in the room and slowly, I brought one of my hands to his cheek, brushing my thumb on it gently. I loved how some of the lyrics really fitted us, and I couldn't explain how perfect it was. He knew how to add things in songs that were only obvious to us two, and I needed to learn how to do that, because when it came to writing my tv show, I knew it was more and more obvious with time that it was based on my story with Niall.

"Those lyrics about the sheets..." I just whispered before licking my lips and sniffing.

"We've been hiding under the sheets since we were kids." he explained even if I already knew what it meant. "Just you and me, in our world. And now I realize that it was our world because you're my world."

I started seeing blurry because of the tears in my eyes and blinked again to let them slide down my cheeks. He brought his hand over mine on his face but his eyes never left mine.

"You're so full of shit, Horan." I just replied in a whisper with a small chuckle.

"I mean it." he quickly murmured before I pressed my lips against his.

He kissed me back deeply and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His lips parted against mine and he panted, making me whimper low. I let my hands slip under his shirt and I thought he was going to laugh at how impatient I was but instead, he moved slightly away, his lips still against mine.

"I'm gonna fucking miss you."

"How many times are we gonna tell that to each other." I whispered back, sliding my hands up his chest.,

He pulled away a bit to stare in my eyes and something twisted inside me. "I don't know, petal. Now too often I hope."

I pulled his shirt off and let it fall on the floor and I kept my lips pressed against his as he got up slowly, grabbing the hem of my shirt and taking it off too. He turned me around slightly, both his hands on my waist and when he kissed me harder, I leaned against the piano without thinking, hitting a few keys and making an horrible sound. We laughed against each other's mouths and I felt him pull my pants down, along with my panties. I wiggled slightly to take them off and pushed them away from us as I moved a bit and hit a few keys again but higher notes this time.

"Clumsy ass." he whispered with a chuckle.

"Hey it's your fault." I argued in a low tone before smiling wide.

I reached for his pants and unzipped them and when he took a step back, my eyes fluttered as I started at him. He took his pants off and when he pulled his boxers down, my lips parted slightly. I watched him sit back on the bench as I stood between him and the piano and he brought his hand to his dick, stroking it slowly. I ran my hand to my breasts as I stared at him and felt my heart jump in my chest at the sight.

He brought his free hand between my thighs and I propped one of my feet on the bench next to him before two of his fingers ran on my slit. He was staring at what he was doing and I let out a low whimper as his thumb found my clit. I was already turned on but feeling him touching me while looking at him touch himself was amazing and I licked my lips, moaning slightly louder.

"I just want to sit on your cock."

He let go of me but I noticed his fingers pressed harder around his cock as he looked up at me and it only took him a few seconds to make a quick head movement.

"Turn around and sit on me."

I felt my heart jump again and slowly did what I asked. I felt him spank me once as I held myself on the piano to sit slowly on him. His hand reached my right side as his left hand positioned his dick and I closed my eyes as I felt it slowly get deeper inside me until I was sitting completely on him.

"Fuck, bend down a bit."

I did as he asked, holding myself on the piano again and making an other unpleasant noise as I hit different keys. This time though, he didn't laugh. He ran his hands on my back, pushing on it gently again and he finally held my waist to help me move up and down on his cock very slowly, watching it slip almost completely out of me and then back inside me as I sat back on him a few times until he was balls deep.

"I fucking love watching my cock disappear in that pretty little cunt of yours." he admitted in a low tone before groaning low. "Fuck me, petal. Harder."

I started going harder as he asked and I tried to grip the piano with my fingers to get balance, my fingers making an annoying sound as they slid on it. My lips parted and I held my breath when I felt him push his thumb in my asshole and I let out a curse word, my movements faltering a bit.

"Don't you fucking stop." he just let out, spanking me with his free hand. "Nothing I want more than to cum deep inside you, pet. I want to feel you clench around me. Fuck, you're such a perfect little cumdump."

I held my breath at his words, feeling my whole body throb at the way he dirty talked to me, a bit surprised but aroused by his words. I was thinking about touching myself when I felt his arm slither around me to reach between my legs as the thumb of his other hand was still fucking my ass.

"You're gonna cum so hard, yea?" he asked, rubbing my clit and making me clench around him in motion. "All over my cock?"

I felt my eyes flutter and my head fell back slightly as I started shaking over him. He brought his arm around me to hold me against him as he kept rubbing my clit hard and fast and when I started cumming, he pushed me up slightly and started moving his hips up against me to reach an orgasm too. He only kept his tip inside me as he came and his fingers sank on both sides of my waist as he groaned loud.

"Fuck."

One of my hands fell on the keys again and I shut my eyes tighter as I got down from my high slowly. I felt one of his hands carress my back and he tapped my butt gently to incite me to get up, I felt his cum fall and when I turned around, some of it slid on my thighs while I bit my bottom lip, looking at his cum mixed with mine on his thighs.

It took him a few seconds to get up and he bent his head down to reach my lips with his. I heard the few notes from the piano as he kissed me and I chuckled against his mouth, making him smile.

"Loved it." he let out low with a smirk. "We literally just composed the best song ever together.”

I laughed and shook my head a bit, my lips brushing against his. "Yea, I don't think it's gonna be a hit." I admitted with an other laugh.

He laughed too and started kissing me slowly but deeply again until we heard the doorbell and both jumped. We both smiled and chuckled at the same time before the bell rang again and someone starting hitting the door quite roughly. I quickly rolled my eyes, knowing exactly who it was. and Niall frowned at me until we heard the voice.

"OLIVIA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" he yelled, making me laugh and roll my eyes. "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON AND COME OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Why does he always get here when we're naked?" Niall asked, making me laugh.

"Hey, it's Louis, I expect nothing less." I pointed out as I was putting my pants back. "I'll go see what he wants, you get dressed."

I put my shirt on as I walked to the front door before swinging it open and sending a big smile to my best friend. He opened his arms wide and it took me only half a second before throwing myself at him. He held me close and I buried my face in his neck as I felt his head lean gently against the side of mine.

"So glad to see you, my queen. I missed you." his voice was low and his words seemed sincere. I could hear emotions in his tone and it made me smile as I gripped the back of his shirt tightly.

"It's been weeks." I just let out, making him squeeze me tighter against him.

"Who's fault?"

"Mine." I confessed in a murmur. "I'm sorry it's just... Niall..."

"Yea I know, I was the same the first few months I was back with El."

We remained silent for a few seconds but when I felt Niall's presence close to us, I felt something melt inside me, like him being close made me emotional.

"Okay Tommo, let go of my girlfriend now."

I chuckled and pulled away, my lips curling more when my eyes met Louis'.

"Oh yea, I saw the video at the airport," Louis laughed, nodding. "Told you it was just a matter of time, right Neil?"

"Right."

My boyfriend groaned but didn't add anything and I moved to let Louis walk in and close the door behind himself. He was so close to me I felt his body heat emanate from him. Niall wrapped his arms around me from behind and I felt him lean his chin on my shoulder. Instinctively, I leaned my head against him and it made Louis roll his eyes with a laugh.

"Alright, double date tonight, we're going to eat, and maybe a movie or something." Louis let out quickly. "Non-negotiable, be ready in two hours, I drive."

He winked at me before turning around and opening the door he had barely just closed and walking quickly to his car. Niall and I both watched him start the car and drive aaway and after a while, I chuckled low and shook my head.

"He's so annoying." Niall admitted, mumbling under his breath.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun!"

Niall seemed to think for a few seconds and finally raised his eyebrows with an amused smile. "Okay, but you wear a skirt."

I rolled my eyes and laughed again, just shrugging. "Deal."

                                               ---

The restaurant was crowded and suddenly, I was scared people would take pictures and videos. I tried to push that thought away and tell myself it didn't matter but at the same time, I knew Niall liked to keep most things private so I tried not to touch him too much. I felt his hand on my naked thigh and smiled, pressing my lips together as I tried to ignore it.

"What are you wearing exactly?" Louis asked with a frown, leaning a bit against the table. "Is that a necklace with my friend Neil's face on it? How old was he back then? 12?"

"Funny." Niall let out sarcastically. "It's a gift from a fan and she won't take it off."

"That's a proof of love, Niall. Embrace it."

Eleanor rolled her eyes with a chuckle and I just laughed a bit. I looked at them and lost my smile suddenly. They were such a perfect and beautiful couple and it was a shame it had just hit me. I started wondering what people thought of the couple I made with Niall and I felt a bit nervous.

"We haven't done that in a while." Eleanor pointed out, taking a sip of her wine. "I know you've both been busy though. How's tour going? Not too hard being away from each other?"

"It's..." Niall started shaking his head.

"Hell." I finished his sentence. 

He turned his head to look at me before nodding slowly. "Exactly. But we manage."

And we did. It was not easy but we loved each other enough to actually want this to work and we both put effort into it. I knew Niall wouldn't always be on tour, and I wouldn't always be filming either. At some point, we would live together almost every day and I seriously couldn't wait. I could write from home, and he could do the same, and I knew it would go very well.

"Niall also asked me to move in with him!" I announced with a huge grin, raising my eyebrows. "About to move my stuff soon!"

I saw Louis' face change and he looked down at his plate before clearing his throat. "Really? When are you moving?"

I frowned when I noticed the emotions on his face but simply licked my lips. I didn't want to cause a scene, and I was not sure of how he felt, but knowing Louis, he was probably going to talk to me about it.

"Probably mid june, it's the only time Niall has a few weeks off. Then he'll be on tour for 3 months almost non-stop." I admitted, swallowing hard at the thought.

I didn't want to be away from him and at the same time, I didn't know if I really should follow him everywhere. I didn't want to be that kind of girl anymore but wanting to be with my boyfriend was not being needy, right? I also didn't really want to stay alone in his big house the whole time he'd be gone. It sounded quite sad.

We started discussing old memories, mostly those from the last tour, and I would roll my eyes when Louis would mention how bad I supposedly had it for Harry. I was pretty sure he knew I was in love with Niall even back then but he was trying to get a reaction out of Niall and I couldn't pretend I didn't find it a bit entertaining. Every time Louis would mention a memory of something romantic or sexual between Harry and I, Niall would squeeze my thigh without really realizing it.

I got up to go to the bathroom after a while and when I got out, Louis was waiting for me, his side leaned against the wall.

"Why are you always waiting for me next to the bathroom." I asked with a chuckle.

"I missed you, you know. I missed my best friend." he pointed out, ignoring my question. "And now you're gonna move in with him for the very first time and, I don't know, I feel betrayed."

I took a step closer to him and shook my head. "Louis, you were already supposed to be with Eleanor, remember?"

"That was when you were supposed to marry Dylan."

I tilted my head and sighed, licking my lips. "I know you hadn't changed your plans. I mean, you were going to live with El either way, and it's okay." I just explained. "I want to try it with Niall. I want it so bad, Louis. But we'll always be close, you and I. I think I need you more than you'll ever need me."

"One day every week."

"Mm?"

"I have to see you at least once a week." he specified. "Sometimes with Niall and El, sometimes just us two, but once a week. I'm not losing touch, you hear me?"

"I hear ya." I smiled and tilted my head.

"Good." he nodded, staring at me for a few seconds. "Are you sure you're ready for that? Moving in with Niall, I mean. It's not gonna be easy."

"I know. But I'm sure." I let out firmly. "He's my soulmate. He's always been. And apparently, I'm his soulmate too. Life couldn't get better than that."

[sharperthewriter]

Chapter 4 of Possible-y Utah

Chapter 4 - Final Day

(May 25, 2006, 6am)

The sun began to rise over the city of Middleton. Rays began to creep through the windows of Kim's room. She woke up and rubbed her eyes.

"Yes!" she exclaimed in triumph, "Final day of junior year is here!"

Kim got ready for school. That day, she was wearing baggy dark-denim Club Banana overalls over her green croptop shirt. She hooked up both straps and had the bottom hems rolled up. To finish the look, she had on giant gold hoop earrings, minimal makeup, a simple CB heart charm bracelet, and white sneakers. Her hair was in a ponytail.

"Hey, Mom and Dad! I'm going off to school!" she exclaimed. "I got my new scooter all ready to pick up Ron!"

Both James and Ann were in their work outfits.

"OK, Kimmie-cub. Don't forget to put on your helmet!" James insisted.

"And remember..." Ann added while sipping her coffee. "Safety first!"

"I won't! And I'm glad we bought an extra helmet for Ron." Kim said, grabbing the second helmet and her backpack.

"Ron! Hurry up!" Kim insisted to her BFBF. She parked her scooter at the Stoppable house.

"I'm coming, KP! Just as soon as I put my shoes on!" Ron said while putting on his sneakers. Rufus scurried out of the door.

"Thank you! I just don't want to be late for school!" Kim replied, handing Ron his helmet, "Nothing is more humiliating than getting detention on the last day of school!"

Ron buckled on his helmet and Rufus also put on a little helmet of his.

"Hold on tight, Ron!"

"You got it, KP!" Ron said, holding his girlfriend around his arms and feeling the denim of her overalls.

Kim zoomed off from the house on the scooter.

(7:45am)

The readerboard sign in front of Middleton High said, "Summer is here...so please read!"

Kim parked her scooter in the student parking lot.

"That should do the trick, Ron." she replied in getting off the scooter and removing her helmet.

"Yeah, KP, next time, we're going to try and get our full drivers license!" Ron said, also getting off the scooter.

"I wouldn't exactly worry about myself getting the license." Kim snickered, darting her eyes to Ron.

"Hey, I shall get through 'Barkin's Course of Death' this time!" Ron insisted.

"And not wreck the student driver car...again?" Kim asked. "Insurance is not going to cover the damages this time around."

"The twentieth time is the charm! Mark my words, I am gonna get my license!" Ron vowed.

The two of them came up to Kim's locker, which was located in D-Hall, aka the science wing of the school.

Kim then opened it. Wade came onscreen in the built-in monitor.

"Hey Kim! Glad that today is the last day of school?" the tech genius asked.

"Oh yeah, number 11 is going to be in the books for a few hours!" Kim replied, "Not unlike you, of course."

"Who breezed by grades 10-12 before my own eighth birthday!" Wade boasted.

"And I'm just...you know...getting by with C's." Ron nervously chuckled, brushing his hand against his hair.

"It feels a little strange, though, Wade." Kim said, "Ever since Drakken's Diablo plot, I've only had three take-over-the-world plots (one each by Dementor, Monkey Fist, and DNAmy) and foiled them all. Maybe the villains have finally given up evil."

"I wouldn't put it past them, Kim." Wade said, "You may never know when a plot or a kidnapping of a scientist would come up."

"We'll keep an eye on things, Wade." Kim replied, "Right now, though, I only have one final exam to get through first."

Then a familiar snarky voice came from behind.

"Well, if it isn't Farmer Possible and her farm-hand!" she taunted.

"Bonnie, I do not have time for your lame puns just because I wear a pair of overalls!" Kim impatiently muttered.

Bonnie, as it turned out, was wearing a pink croptop and baggy carpenter denim jeans that was showing off half her Club Banana yellow boxers. The back pockets were on her thighs. They were held up only with a loose CB belt. She completed the outfit with white sneakers, giant hoop earrings and a CB hat that she was wearing sideways.

"You know, Bonnie..." Kim continued, "...you really do look like a fool with your pants on the ground!"

"It's the latest fashion trend for mean girls like me!" Bonnie flaunted.

"And totally sick and wrong!" Ron complained.

"Bonnie, I would love to criticize your poor decision on how to basically wear pants..." Kim muttered, slamming her locker door, "...but I got an exam to take!"

"Whatever, Possible." Bonnie scoffed, "I will tell you something after you take your lousy exam!"

"Fine, Rockwaller!" Kim snarled back.

With that, Kim and Ron both left Bonnie behind to go to the World History class for her final exam to take. Ron had one more in Geometry.

(3 hours later)

Kim and Ron were now sitting in study hall after taking their last exams.

"Did you think I did well, KP?" Ron asked. He had taken geometry for his last exam.

"I'd say you'd barely pass, Ron." Kim explained, "Remember our study night together?"

"Yeah...wasn't that the night that you put a blanket on me because I was sleeping my head on your dad's desk?" Ron questioned.

"It was. You look so cute sleeping like that!" Kim replied.

"Awww...thanks, Kim!" Ron smiled at her GF's words.

"Ugh...why do you two have to be so mushy?!" Bonnie asked dismissively. She was sitting on her CB boxers and the back pockets of her baggy jeans were on her thighs. The bottoms were scrunched up on her shoes.

"Because we are a couple, Rockwaller, that's why!" Kim muttered at her rival.

"I'll make a sweet bet with you, Possible." Bonnie said, "I'll bet you $50 that you will not last one summer with Stoppable as BF material!"

Kim, sensing her hyper-competitive nature, agreed.

"What are going to be the terms?"

"If I win the bet and you break up with Stoppable, I promise that will not bully you anymore during cheer practice in senior year." Bonnie said of the terms if she came out on top. "And, on top of that, you will have to give your cheer captainship to me AND you will have to scrub the toilets of the locker rooms.

"And if I win, you will have to mop the entire gym floor! And your dad will have to drop the indecent exposure charge against Ron!" Kim decreed.

"Don't blame me if he got his boxers accidentally snagged by briar patches!" Bonnie countered. "But I will honor your bet...IF you win."

"You are so on, Rockwaller!" Kim exclaimed, fire raging in her eyes that was as red as her hair.

Ron looked at her in worry, "KP...you're putting a lot on the line here!"

Kim scoffed at what he said.

"Ron, don't worry! We'll still be tight by the beginning of senior year! Bonnie will definitely lose!"

Barkin then entered the room.

"Okay, people, since Miss Carol is not here because she overslept, smashing her alarm clock with a cartoonishly-giant hammer the night before, I will be taking over this study hall." he proclaimed. "Since all of you students are done with your exams, we are going to sit quietly for the next 45 minutes until the class is dismissed."

The clock then began to move its hands slowly and then fastly as if it had been hours.

"Clock's busted again..." Barkin muttered, tapping it on its side and adjusting it to the correct time: 11:19am.

Kim could only hope that the last 45-minutes of her junior year would fly by.

(12 noon)

The final bell finally rang, signaling the end of the junior year.

All of the students in study hall began to cheer and throw their papers in the air to celebrate. But just before they could exit the classroom, Barkin then got in the way of the door. The cheering subsided for now.

"Uh...Mr. B? I thought we were dismissed." Ron insisted.

"Stoppable, do you not remember that the bell does not dismiss the class, I do?" Barkin muttered. After a tense 30 seconds between the two, Barkin stepped aside.

"Okay, you're dismissed!" Barkin sighed, opening the door. The cheering resumed from the students.

Both Kim and Ron got out of Middleton High now that their Junior year was in the books. To celebrate, Kim decided to unhook the right strap of her overalls so that the strap dangled behind her back but kept the left strap up.

"So what can we do to celebrate now that we have 88 days of freedom?" Kim asked. "You know...as BF and GF!"

"KP, if you know me, I'm thinking along the lines of JP Bearymore's!" Ron replied with a smile, putting his hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. "Their new multi-level go-kart track just opened up and it's badical!"

"Mmm...hmm!" Kim smiled, "Maybe a movie afterwards? The newest installment of the John Glond superspy series is already out! And you know how much I love the spy thriller!"

"You're totally, on, KP!" Ron said, grinning.

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27,  Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35,  Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44,  Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56, Chapter 57

AO3

Thank you @theministerskat​ for your beta! ❤️

                                  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Chapter 58. Rain

How long can one night be?

It felt like I was lying in my bed for ages. I wanted to get up, run, do something, but the darkness was heavy outside my window, and my heart felt heavier. 

My heart, the one that kept beating, no matter how many times my breath hitched in my throat.

My heart, carrying its own heavy load, waiting. 

Holding off was slowly killing me, but I had resolved not to call him again.

Hours had passed while my phone remained silent. A sinking sensation wrapped around me, dragging me down, deeper and deeper. 

What had happened, exactly?

I had spent the first few hours rationalizing.

What if something happened to him? No. John would call me. Jamie is fine.

Maybe he forgot his phone at the pool and they are all out celebrating now. But he would send something from John’s phone, right? 

Not if he’s still mad at me for not calling him before the race. 

Maybe he needs time, and he will call when he’s ready. He’s stressed, and he’s exaggerating. It will be okay. 

If only he called sooner.

I had messed up, yes, but it wasn’t like I had been out for drinks, having fun, and ignoring him. And it wasn’t like we hadn’t talked all day. I would explain myself. I would tell him the truth and ask him to forgive me. Simple as that. 

Not that I hadn’t done that in my texts already. But texts were not the same. 

I closed my eyes and imagined his disappointment when the time had come and I didn’t call, when I didn’t reply to his messages. I could see in my mind’s eye how upset he must have been, his deep breaths as he tried to focus on the impending race. I hoped he’d thought of all the times I wished him good luck in the past, of how much I loved him and believed in him. Or at least to forget everything about me and give his best to the race.

It didn’t matter, really. Nothing was as important as winning the race.

I knew he would do well. He was the best swimmer I had ever seen.

It will be alright. He’ll call back and it will be alright.

I tried to stick with this line of thought and get some sleep. Make this endless night go by faster. 

But sleep wouldn’t come. 

Where was he? The chances he’d lost his phone were…scarce. He’d seen my texts and was still so angry that he couldn’t even reply?

A single message was all I needed. ‘I’m fine, won the race, we’ll talk tomorrow.’ How hard was that?

It was the first time Jamie had done this. The first time he blatantly ignored me. The first time he didn’t want to talk to me. 

Or rather, the second. The first one had been when he got the scholarship, but that had been different. 

This wasn’t at all like him. 

Maybe he’s preparing a surprise for me?

The week following the New Jersey race would be a slack one. Maybe he’d come to visit me, to celebrate with me.

I let hope nestle in my chest, its arrival gifting me with a few full breaths. Maybe he was flying to England right now. A smile curled the corners of my mouth, up and up, until I was biting my bottom lip in a smile full of expectation. 

A moment later, reality crashed on me. Exactly when I was the most vulnerable. It always does that, waiting in the corner until we give way to the dreams, and then rushes to overtake us. With a single move, reality names the dream an illusion and takes it away, with a low, malicious snicker. 

My smile vanished in a matter of seconds. Jamie wasn’t coming, and I was a fool to even think he would. He was in New Jersey, celebrating with his friends. 

The waiting was killing me. I held in my tears, refusing to cry when I didn’t even know why. When I didn’t know what was happening. 

He had left me hanging. He had left me in the dark, alone, with no power over anything. 

I felt small. Insignificant. Alone. 

When the first tears stained my pillow, sleep took pity on me. 

I didn’t dream.

–

Mary’s voice woke me and I felt her hand gently nudging my side. 

“Claire? Are you coming to the lecture? We need to go in fifteen minutes.”

The lecture? Did the world have the audacity to go on when my life was crumbling?

For the first time in my life, I didn’t care about the lecture. I didn’t care about anything at all, after checking my phone to find that nothing had changed since the previous night.

That was a living hell, I was sure of it. 

I pushed all thoughts and emotions deep down and got out of bed. It would do me no good to stay in the dorm all day, and I had practicals that I couldn’t miss anyway.

I brushed my teeth mechanically for a good five minutes and washed my face with freezing water until the bones in my hands ached from the cold.

Numb – I needed to be numb. Retreat to that place deep inside me where I was safe. A peal of cruel laughter left my lips. 

This place, and all the bloody safe places inside me had been opened for him. 

There was no safehouse, no hidden crypt. I had given everything and I had nowhere to go now. 

I started crying again and immediately rinsed the tears away. 

Get yourself together. Don’t think.

I left the bathroom and got dressed. Mary looked at me with a frown, but didn’t ask any questions. I loved her for it. No prying. She would patiently wait until I was ready to talk. Which meant never, in this case. 

We walked to campus and headed towards the auditorium. I vaguely registered that it was an interesting lecture, one of those that would fill my head with questions and ideas on any other day. Not today. 

Today, I took notes like an automaton. I breathed like an automaton. When the lecture finished, I talked to others like an automaton.

It was like living in virtual reality. I was at Oxford, going on with my day, responding to the stimuli around me as if they were real, but I had this feeling that everything was only a projection on a wall, and real-life would look like the earth had been destroyed by meteors. Or a collision with another planet.

Or maybe that was just my world.

I went on with my day as if nothing had changed, as if I could breathe as easily as the next student in the practical. 

I nodded mechanically and I even smiled once or twice when everyone was laughing, because I felt like I had to.

I checked my phone every minute. It felt like a punch in the gut. When I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned it off, only to panic and turn it on five minutes later. 

Not that I had missed anything.

I thought of texting Jamie again, but what else was there left to say? How many times can one apologize before those three words sound cheap?

I wrote ‘I love you’ at least ten times, only to erase the message a moment later. Didn’t he know that I loved him? What difference would a text make?

After our practical, I followed Mary to the library. I sat down with a heavy textbook and ended up reading the same line twenty times. 

It was then that my phone vibrated against the wooden desk. 

My heart jumped to my throat, and my knees trembled as I tried to stand up. 

It was him, and he was smiling in the picture on my screen and I just wanted to fall back on my chair and start crying.

I didn’t. I swallowed hard, instead, and ran outside. Fat raindrops hit my face, but I hardly noticed them. I wore my earphones, and slid a finger across the screen.

“Hi,” I said, walking away from the entrance and leaning against the exterior wall, trying to shelter myself from the rain as well as I could. The light post was only four feet away, but my face was covered in shadows. 

“Hi, Claire.” Jamie tried for a smile, but ended up taking a deep breath instead.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it would break through my chest. A ridiculous thought from an aspiring doctor, and yet there it was.

“How did it go?” I asked. “The race,” I clarified, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Second. I finished second.” 

Second. Shit. Is this the reason he didn’t call?

His face was a mask, his voice colourless. I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry? It sounded stupid. Don’t worry? 

I nodded twice, before I mumbled, “Congratulations.” He didn’t seem to hear it. I cleared my throat and tried again, louder this time. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” he said, dismissively. 

And then, silence. A long, heavy silence that stretched and stretched until I couldn’t take it anymore. It was stealing my breath.

“Did you celebrate last night?” 

Jamie looked sideways, then back at me. “Aye, we went for drinks wi’ the team.”

“Nice.” I tried to smile. “Did you have fun?”

He closed his eyes and set his jaw. I saw his throat bobbing as he swallowed and waited for his answer, but his mouth opened only to close again.

“Are you alone?” I blurted. It was obvious that we couldn’t keep this conversation going for long, and I didn’t want to start talking about what really mattered if other people were in his room.

“Aye. John is out.”

I tried to smile, and let out a sigh before starting explaining myself. “Jamie, I am so, so, so sorry I didn’t manage to call you yesterday. I know you needed me to call and you’re angry at me, and you’re right… But I was in the middle of a tutorial and time went by, and –” I stopped abruptly and squeezed my eyes tight. “I am sorry.”

Jamie nodded but didn’t say a word. I couldn’t recognize the look in his eyes. 

“Talk to me, please. Talk to me, Jamie, we will figure it out,” I pleaded in a quivering voice. 

“Claire –”

“Yes?” I bit my lip hard, trying to keep the tears inside.

“I didna call ye yesterday and all day today, because I needed time to think.” 

The wall behind me was rough underneath my fingertips as I pushed harder against it, wishing for the pain to ground me. To prepare me, somehow, for what was coming. I knew it. I knew him. I could see right through him. The way he talked, how he looked at me… I recognized that look now – the pain and regret, the determination. Tears blurred my vision before he could go on.

“This isna working, Claire,” Jamie said, and I felt a thousand daggers sinking into my heart. I felt them hovering around me all day, biding their time. A whimper left my mouth before I could stop it, and I pushed my lips together in reflex. I looked at Jamie, at the bloody screen, and tried to keep my raging emotions under control.

“What –” I started in a broken voice, and I summoned all my courage to go on. I wouldn’t stop this conversation before it had even started because I was crying. I pushed my fingernails into the wall, willing it to support me. “What do you mean?” When Jamie only shook his head, I continued. “Since when is it not working?” I huffed a laugh, challenging him. “I forgot to text you once, and that’s it? I’m not good enough for you?”

That rilled him up. “Did I ever say ye’re not good enough for me, Claire?” he demanded. “Dinna put words in my mouth!” He then murmured something under his breath, lowering his eyes.

“So what is this? You don’t call, don’t text, don’t even tell me that you need time to think and I’m here waiting for you to deign to inform me that things aren’t working out because the idea stuck in your head?”

“It’s not in my head! It’s in my life! This – what we have... It’s not what it once was, and –”

“And you want to end it?” I couldn’t believe I was uttering those words. This had to be a nightmare.

“Aye.” It could have been a whisper of the wind. It could have been a raindrop falling into the river. It could have been the rustling of leaves. But it was his voice, and the sound choked me. A small word I had heard him say thousands of times. The same word, ending it all.

I bit my lip until I tasted blood. I scraped my palm against the wall, and saw the hand holding my phone shaking. 

“Why?”

Why are you giving up on us? Why aren’t you patient? Why are you tearing my heart out?

I couldn’t ask that. I wouldn’t. So I just whispered again, “Why?”

“I love ye, Claire,” he said, and I noticed for the first time that he was crying, too. 

Hearing his words broke all the walls I’d tried to build to keep my despair aside. “This makes no fucking sense,” I sobbed.

“I ken, I ken,” he repeated. “I love ye, mo nighean donn, mo ghraidh, my Sassenach. I love ye so much and I wish you were here or I was there, but you’re not and I’m not and I canna go on like this.” He said it all with breath, and then this face paled, as if a chunk of life was torn out of his chest. 

“No, no, no.” I shook my head violently, wet curls flying and sticking on my face. “We will make it work, we said we would, remember?” 

He needed to remember. He just needed to know that we would be together no matter what, and then he would change his mind.

“I canna. I miss you, and this is not what I thought it would be. Seeing you once every three months? What kind of relationship is that?”

“Our relationship!” I all but screamed. “It’s our relationship and we’ll work on it. This is just the beginning and I am overwhelmed a bit by the workload here, but I will get the hang of it. I know I should have called before the race –”

“Claire!” he interrupted me. “This is not about the race. I mean, it is, but it’s not only that. Ye’re not here when I need to cuddle in bed with you after a hard day. Ye’re not here when I want to go out and dance and feel your body against mine. Ye’re not here when good things happen, when bad things happen, when nothing happens… Ye’re not here.”

“Of course I’m not there! I’m right here, doing my best to be a part of your life! And you knew that, Jamie Fraser! You knew I wouldn’t be there!”

“Your best…” he trailed off before finishing the thought. I was ready for another attack, when he said, “I hadna thought it would be so difficult.”

I repeated his words, mocking him. 

“Yes Claire! I thought ye’d be with me until your term started, but no! God forbid! Ye had to volunteer and go to Zambia! And then –”

“You said you were okay with me going to Zambia!” I interrupted him, indignant. I felt my cheeks flaming in anger now.

“I said I didna like it! But ye didna step back! Ye said that ye really wanted to go and really, what choice did I have in the matter?”

I snorted, refusing to talk to him. I couldn’t believe that he was holding my trip to Zambia against me. What else was there that he had never talked about?

“Well, I’m not in Zambia right now.”

“Aye, and what good does it do to us? Ye have internet access and we still hardly talk. D’ye think that thirty minutes per day is enough to keep a relationship going? Because it isn’t!”

I took a long breath through my mouth, blinking at him. I couldn’t believe my ears. “We limit the time of the video calls because of your training,” I spat.

“And your practicals, your tutorials…” He shook his head and his red curls fell into his eyes. It had become one of my habits to run my fingers over his forehead and push them aside, but I knew that even if he was in front of me right now that would be the last thing I would do. Smack him on the forehead, maybe. “Ye didn’t come for my race, as we had agreed. Do ye ken how long it is since we had sex?” Jamie asked, bringing me back to our conversation.

I felt my eyebrows curving in an impossible arch. “What? So this – this is about sex?”

“No. Not only sex, but sex is important, too.”

“Our schedule is fucked up!” I declared.

“I ken!” he shot back. “This doesna change the facts though, does it?”

It didn’t. “We can do better,” I said, more calmly now. My breaths were short and fast, and I stopped for a moment, trying to collect myself. “I miss you, too.” Jamie didn’t reply. “I thought I was there for you, I thought what we had was enough.”

I slid down the wall, sitting on the wet pavement. I was soaked by this point and I didn’t care. 

“I thought it would be enough. I wanted it to be.” Jamie’s voice was soft, as if he murmured something in my ear as we lay together in bed. “But I want to live, Claire, not to be constantly suspended between two continents. I want to live here, now. And I wanted to share now with you, even though I couldn’t share here. But I can’t even have that.”

Because I hadn’t sent a bloody good-luck-text. “I don’t know what else I can do. I can’t promise that I won’t mess up again, but I can promise that I will try not to. And I’ll be there in a few weeks. We will spend a whole month together.”

“Sassenach,” Jamie rasped, pained. “Stop. Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what? Love you?” I asked, with an incredulous laugh. “I don’t remember how life was before I loved you.”

Jamie rubbed a hand on his face. His eyes were red and puffed when he looked at me. “It pains me, Claire. It pains me to wake up and know you’re not in my arms, it pains me to count the days until I see ye again. I canna do it anymore.”

I had no breath to speak. Tears kept rolling down my face, and Jamie’s ragged breaths sounded closer through my earphones than the rain pattering on the pavement I sat on. I felt him closer than all the world around me and I wanted to reach out and grasp that feeling, afraid I would never have it again. 

“So that’s it?” I croaked, and licked my lips, tasting the salt.

It couldn’t be it. We couldn’t end like this. 

“I am sorry. I love you. I will always love you. But maybe this is for the best. For both of us, ye ken.” A sigh, and he continued. “I will focus on my life here, and you on yer studies…”

The words sounded unreal in my mind. I couldn’t reply. I couldn’t agree or oppose the notion, not that it mattered. 

Love isn’t a cage. It’s not working that way. Love is like the wind, aiding us in staying airborne, lifting us higher.

“Goodbye, Jamie.”

My finger trembled as I ended the call. I felt the sky drop closer, crushing me. A flash of lightning tore up the darkness in the distance and I closed my eyes, wishing Jamie would be there to hold me in his arms. 

But there would be no more Jamie. No one would hold me to keep me safe. No one would brush away the hair from my face. No one would kiss away the tears. 

I held my breath in an attempt to verify that my heart was still beating.

It did. My treacherous heart went on with hollow, empty beats against my ribs. 

My head hit the wall, and I stayed there, sobbing under the rain until Mary found me. 

Chapter 59

[invisibletinkerer]

Fic: 30 Seconds Later (chapter 17)

Chapter 1 – Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 – Chapter 4 – Chapter 5 – Chapter 6 – Chapter 7 – Chapter 8 – Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19

Length: ~5000 words

AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/13715520/chapters/43355552

The brightly pink futuristic communicator probably wasn’t controlled by a sapient artificial intelligence or captured fairy, despite Stanley’s disingenuous claims to the contrary. It did, however, seem to involve a magical force field that created buttons based on the symbols that appeared on the screen. The screen – which, unlike any TV or computer screen Stanford had ever laid his eyes on, didn’t seem to have any raster whatsoever. Or any CRT depth requirements.

There were also purple kittens and little hearts everywhere.

It was mesmerizing, but also vexing. He had more of an idea how the alien drones worked than this thing. Perhaps Fiddleford would—no. He shut that thought down.

Stanley was no help either – his reaction to Ford’s wide-eyed quizzical stare was an amused smile and a shrug. “Beats me,” he said. “I could make something up about it if ya like.”

“No, thank you.” Ford sighed and handed the device back to his brother.

His old brother. Because this was the future. His old twin brother, whom, as it happened, he didn’t actually resent. Maybe he’d only ever wanted to resent him, as if that would make their estrangement easier to bear. Stanley was far from the only one with a tendency to make bad life choices.

Maybe Bill wouldn’t be able to destroy the world. Maybe Bill wouldn’t even be able to kill him. Perhaps Stanford Pines was stuck in the future and there was nothing about that he could understand.

It was too much – right now it was just too much. He’d figure it all out later.

If the sealed briefcase containing the rift bought him enough time.

Another deep sigh and he forced himself to his feet, one hand on the pillar for support. “I’m well enough to walk,” he told Stanley. “Let’s go home.”

 * * *

 Stan groaned involuntarily when he got back to his feet, the throbbing headache in the back of his head returning with some revenge for being ignored for so long, but he didn’t care. He still felt kinda drunk on the sort of relief that nerdy types like Poindexter here would probably call by some fancy name in Latin.

Ford didn’t hate him. Ford forgave him.

Ford was alive, the demon had scuttered off to wherever demons go, and Stan felt like there had been a weight around his neck that he’d been so used to carrying around that he’d hardly even noticed it until it was gone. Or at least it was eased to the point that he felt lightheaded. There might be a bit of a smile on his face that he just couldn’t get rid of, so nevermind if his head hurt a bit.

He kept close to his brother, ready to support him if he’d need it, but he seemed to be steady enough. The tranquilizer thing was probably wearing off completely as they walked. He barely seemed any worse off that he’d been this morning – not saying a lot, sure, except that that demon had been an outrageous liar.

And – praise the ancient alien overlords – Ford set a slow pace, hopefully actually thinking about conserving his strength for once.

It felt surreal that this whole thing had happened in a spaceship. The reflections from the flashlight in in Ford’s hand created moving, unreal shapes on the walls, blurring in and out of focus as his thoughts drifted. Stan hated those aliens. Buncha jerks, trying to arrest people for what? Post-mortem trespassing? Or would that would count as graverobbing? Nah, could hardly be robbing if you didn’t steal anything. Well. Didn’t steal much. This time.

It took a few moments before he noticed that Ford wasn’t at his side anymore, but a few steps ahead. Dammit, he was supposed to make sure his brother didn’t overexert himself before he was properly recovered. “Hey.”

Stanford stopped and turned around. “Stanley?”

“Don’t run off.”

“I wasn’t—” Ford paused. “I wasn’t running,” he repeated with a slight frown. “In fact, I was walking slower than I could have.” He raised his arms and flexed the fingers on his left hand to demonstrate. “The effect of the sedative has worn off almost completely.”

Stan scoffed at that. “Yeah, well, you’re still weak, and also hurt. So take it easy.”

Ford pulled his coat tighter around himself and gave Stan a strange look while he caught up. Hardly the wild-eyed paranoid stare of last night over tacos, but still suspicious.

“Stanley,” he said eventually. “There’s blood on your head.”

Stan reflexively put up a hand to the offending spot. The bump he’d gotten from crashlanding in that bubble prison thing protested the touch with another sting of pain, and Ford was right, there might be a bit of crusted blood in his hair. Crap.

“So I might be a tiny bit concussed,” he blurted. “No big deal, just a little headache. I’ve been through a lot worse in the boxing ring.”

Ford looked at him.

Stan looked back.

“That’s—”

“I’m not—”

Stan broke first. He burst out laughing. He’d all but forgotten about that head injury in his worry about Ford – and it really wasn’t a big deal, he knew what a serious concussion felt like, but yes, it was slowing him down – and now Ford was worrying about him. It was—it was stupid, and also, somehow, hilarious.

Ford cracked a smile, then finally chuckled drily, shoulders shaking. After a long moment where neither of them could get a word out, Ford finally pulled himself together. “Have I ever told you that you’re a knucklehead?”

“Careful, Poindexter,” Stan said, wiping his eyes with one hand and rubbing the bump on his head with the other. “You could almost start to think we’re related.”

“That would be a disaster.”

“You’re right about that one.” It was so easy. They were together again, after everything. Something in Stan’s stomach clenched, like he still couldn’t believe this was real, he’d done it and Ford was going to be okay. “I guess I could take a painkiller,” he added, putting the bad down. “Water would be nice, but we don’t have any left.”

Ford blinked. “What happened to it?”

“Used it up for—” Stan nodded towards what was under Ford’s shirt.

Ford’s expression closed up for a moment. “Ah.”

Stan found a pill in the rapidly emptying first-aid kit, swallowing it dry and hoping it would help. He offered a second pill to Ford, who took it after some hesitation.

Before he could pick up the bag, Ford grabbed the strap. “I’ll carry the bag the rest of the way,” he announced.

Stan put his hands over Ford’s and stopped him. “I have a bump and a headache – I’m not dying.”

“Neither am I, and you’ve been carrying it all day.”

Stan huffed. “You mean other than the hours I spent waiting for your unconscious butt to come back to the land of the living?”

“Yes. That—”

“Forget about it,” Stan said, taking the bag from Ford. “I’m still in better shape than you are.”

Ford threw his hands up with a frustrated grimace. “I was just trying to—”

“It’s not that heavy,” Stan said, pulling the strap over his shoulder. “But thanks for the offer, I guess?”

Ford’s shoulders slumped slightly. “You’re sixty, you have a concussion, and you’re still in better shape than me.” He folded his arms over his chest, clenching his fingers in the fabric of his coat.

“Yeah, well, you’re gonna recover and get as strong as you like, and I’m only gonna get older, so don’t be too jealous.” Stan grimaced and patted Ford on the back, earning him a slight twitch and then a sigh. “Come on, Sixer. Let’s get out of here.”

 Of course, the problem with that plan was that ‘out’ also meant ‘up’. Stan didn’t say anything when they reached the first ladder – the one in the elevator shaft – but he stopped and gave a low whistle. He might have misremembered just how far down they had climbed, but better to be impressed than intimidated. He could do it – going up couldn’t be any worse than going down, a little bruising never stopped him before, and he was over his fear of heights anyway. But Ford had strained himself just walking too fast through the forest this morning, and being shot, possessed, and then unconscious for a few hours wasn’t the kinda thing that made people stronger. Maybe they should try to—

Ford was already squaring his shoulders, starting the climb before Stan had finished the thought. To be sure, it wasn’t like he could think of any realistic alternative, so Stan followed and hoped for the best. Maybe he just wanted to get it over with.

It wasn’t fun. It didn’t take long for Ford’s breathing to become audibly labored above him, and Stan could feel the strain in his own legs. At one point he accidentally looked down, and he wasn’t sure if that’s what triggered the nausea or if the concussion had something to do with it, but he hated the whole situation with a passion. His headache only grew worse and his fingers cramped around the rungs, eyes staring at the wall inches from his face.

His head bumped into something.

Seconds later, when Stan’s heartbeat and the throbbing in his head had both calmed down to the point where he could hear himself think, he realized that it had been Ford’s shoes. Ford had stopped right above him and wasn’t moving.

“Sixer?” Stan’s knuckles were white on the rung before his eyes. “You okay?”

“I made a mistake.” Ford’s voice was breathless, trembling with exhaustion.

Stan bit back an angry retort. He kind of felt like this climb was a mistake himself, but if Ford felt that way—He wouldn’t admit that if it wasn’t bad. Stan’s shoulders cramped even tighter than they had been. “Right,” was all he said.

Ford said nothing for several moments.

“You’re not allowed to fall,” Stan managed. He wouldn’t be able to catch him. More like they’d both be done for.

Maybe that would serve them right, but it didn’t make him feel any less sick.

“I don’t intend to,” Ford said. “I just—just need to rest for a bit.”

Stan stared at his own hands, for a moment completely unable to get his eyes to focus. “Sure. I can wait.” He sure couldn’t help. He could barely help himself, hanging above a void that would crush both of them to bloody pulps if they didn’t hold on.

It took the better part of an eternity, but they did finally reach the end of the ladder and the higher level of the spaceship. Ford crumbled against a piece of broken machinery, panting and trembling, and Stan found himself lying on the floor and trying to unclench his cramping hands after all that clinging to flimsy pieces of metal and trying not to fall to a very bloody death. He was mostly unsuccessful.

“You know,” he said hoarsely, “I told Mabel a while ago that ladders cause more deaths than guns. I mean—I made that statistic up, but I’ve decided I believe it.”

“That’s—not very scientific of you.”

“Still not a scientist, Poindexter.”

Ford breathed a quiet chuckle, then stayed silent for a while. Eventually, he said, “Do you remember that time when we went into that condemned office building on Gasoline Street? I think we were thirteen.”

“Yeah.” He could kinda see why Ford would think of that one. “I picked the lock, and you were really disappointed when it was already emptied out.”

“You were disappointed too.”

“Sad but true. No treasure that day.”

“So we decided to go to the top floor—”

Stan groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

They’d went up a rickety old staircase for five or so floors before a section of the support decided that the weight of two stomping boys was too much to bear. A whole section of the stairs had basically crumbled, leaving a gap of ten or fifteen feet right where Stan and Ford had been walking seconds ago. Stan had been in shock and refused to move a muscle for several minutes, though he distinctly remembered Ford snapping his fingers and saying something like “So that’s why the building was condemned!”

Getting back down had been the challenge, that time.

“Besides,” Stan added, “that wasn’t even a ladder.”

“No, it was just a broken staircase. But you hated that, too.”

Stan sighed and rolled over on his back, finally able to uncramp his arms and relax. “Yeah, I hated it.” And despite all that, it was a fond memory.

Ford took a deep breath. “Stanley—” He seemed to be hesitating.

“Yeah?”

“The ladder to the surface is even longer than this one. I might be able to make it if I have to, but—”

Stan hid his face under his hands. “—but that’s a big maybe,” he finished. “Yeah.” He took a deep breath of his own. “But we do have to get up there somehow, unless we wanna go without food and camp here tonight.”

“Not an option,” Ford said sharply.

“Yeah, agreed.” Stan sat up, slowly, supporting his arms on his knees. Maybe he could get Soos to— “—wait, what did you say?”

“I said there’s an alternative to climbing. And at this point I believe it would be easier on both of us.” He raised a hand slightly, watching it tremble, and sighed. “Relatively, of course, but I’ve done it before.”

Stan would definitely prefer not to bet both of their lives on that Ford could make another climb. He raised an eyebrow. “You saying we fly?”

“Correct.” Ford smiled slightly.

“Hate to break it to ya, Sixer, but we’re still people, not birds.”

“Well,” Ford said, patting down his trenchcoat like he was double-checking something. “I assume you still have the second magnet gun?”

“It’s in the bag.” A heartbeat. “Oh.”

Yeah, that thing Ford had done when he came after the prison bubble Stan was pretty much flying, wasn’t it? Not like either of them had been in a state to look for that gun afterwards, either, and he half expected Ford to blame him for it being lost.

“Good,” was all Ford said. “We’ll use that to pull ourselves up.”

Stan was totally comfortable with that. Not the slightest bit worried that it might be like falling upwards and splattering yourself against a distant ceiling instead of a distant floor.

Ford rubbed his arm and continued. “It’s not overly difficult. The critical part is to aim it right, and then to brace properly for impact.” He gestured vaguely for emphasis. “And of course, not to lose your grip on the gun.”

“So...” Stan tried to work around his gut feeling that said nope and think of what it actually meant. “Sounds like it takes a bit of strength.” Also like there’d be no second chances if you failed. “If you’re not strong enough to climb, are you sure ya—”

“Strength and stamina are different things,” Ford said in that familiarly annoying way that he’d always used to point out people’s small errors. “But,” he relented, “I admit I’m low on both.” He met Stan’s eyes for a moment. “Which is why I believe—I hope that we can do it together.”

 It was somewhat terrifying, but in the end, Stan had to agree that climbing at this point wouldn’t be any less life-threatening, it would just drag it out for longer. And there was only one magnet gun, and like hell he would let Ford do it alone when even Ford himself admitted he might not make it.

Besides, Ford’s determination to do this thing was actually contagious. It would be a lot less grueling than another climb, and it would definitely get them up faster than any other possible plan.

Ford had to be the one to aim since he had some experience with doing this, but Stan was stronger, so he’d hold the gun’s handle, with Ford using his free hand to point it right. Ford’s right arm went over Stan’s shoulders and Stan used his left to hold onto Ford around the waist, trying but probably not succeeding in avoiding at least the alien blaster wound if not the infected cuts. Ford didn’t complain, though.

Stan might be clinging a little too hard as they raised the magnet gun.

“There,” Ford said, keeping Stan’s hand somewhat steady.

Stan pressed the trigger. He had exactly enough time to realize that he now knew what it felt like to be a bullet before they both slammed into the wall right below the ceiling and Stan’s headache jolted into a minor explosion that made him regret every single decision that took him to this point. That only lasted for the fraction of a moment it took before he realized that they were an absolutely ridiculous distance from the floor and that Ford’s full weight together with his own was too much for one sweaty hand on the handle of a science gizmo to hold up. Any other thought was replaced by a panicked scramble for foothold to support them.

Ford had aimed true. The ladder rungs were right there.

A second later Ford’s feet had found the ladder as well, and Stan could breathe again. Nevermind that they were packed together on the same part of the ladder, hanging right below the where the wall met the ceiling and the ladder entered the narrower chute – way too high to think about, and still a bit to go before the safety above.

“Whoa,” was all he could say.

“That’s—accurate.”

“You okay?”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Never better.”

“There seem to be—” Ford looked up. “Six rungs to go to get us up into the shaft.”

“And then we’ll zap to the top.”

Ford nodded seriously.

“This is gonna be awkward,” Stan muttered. Of course, that might have been a feature. The fact that it was awkward did distract a bit from the fact that it was dizzyingly high. And it was only six steps. Somehow they climbed them without losing track of either the ladder, the magnet gun or each other. Ford’s eyes were half-closed, focused on the task, and Stan could feel his own muscles stiffening again, but it just a little bit.

Once they were inside the chute it might not actually be safer, but it sure felt that way. Between the two of them and the duffelbag sitting on Stan’s back, it was cramped enough to almost seem snug.

Ford leaned his forehead against the wall for a moment while Stan looked up. The square of summer sky above was a warm blue, and not that far away now.

“I’m ready to get out of this dump,” he said and gave Ford a tired smile.

“It’s not a dump,” Ford said. “It’s a wreck.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But—Good.” Ford wrapped one arm around Stan’s back again, supporting himself partly on the chute wall and readying the magnet gun. “I’m ready to get out, too.”

The second jump felt less violent – maybe because it was shorter, or maybe the cramped space made them go slower, but in any case it didn’t hurt much at all. Stan pulled himself up onto the ground, then turned to give Ford a hand.

They both stumbled several steps away from the hole before promptly sitting down on the grass next to each other. Stan found himself chuckling softly. “There we go,” he said. “Ain’t no stopping the Pines.”

“Heh,” Ford said, then fell silent. He seemed to want to say something more, but it didn’t come out, so he closed his mouth again.

The silence was companionable, and Stan didn’t mind. The afternoon sunshine felt nice on his bare arms, even if it did outline a couple of new bruises very clearly.

“The rift is sealed,” Ford said eventually. “You’d need power tools to break it now.” He almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

“Yeah,” Stan agreed.

“Bill is going to be enraged.”

“Meh. What can he do about it?”

“I don’t know.” Ford shuddered, looking at his hands in his lap. “No doubt we’re going to find out.”

Stan shrugged it off. “You know,” he said, “We still need to get back home before we can eat.”

“Eat?” Ford blinked like he had forgotten that food was a thing. “Right. Yes.”

 Ford insisted on covering up the entrance to the UFO again before they could leave, and once they were off, it was slower going than it had been in the morning. It was one thing to hike when you had slept and eaten and your stupid genius of a young twin brother was insisting that he was fine and even enjoying himself – but a bit different when you were tired and hungry and Ford’s face was carefully neutral even when he stopped again and again to lean against a tree, glaring warily at the eye-like marks on the birches and ashes.

Neither of them noticed that they were no longer alone until someone cleared their throat.

Stan practically jumped, and he could feel more than see Ford’s head whip to the side in a movement mirroring his own. A burly, bearded, red-haired man in a flannel shirt stared at the from between a few ashen trees.

“Stanford Pines!”

“Yeah, what’s—” Stan started, while Ford spoke at the exact same time, “Yes, I—”

Stan and Ford glanced at each other, then back at the lumberjack. Stan suppressed a groan.

“Is that—Boyish Dan Corduroy?” Ford whispered. He was tense, but there was some incredulousness in his voice, too.

“Don’t call him ‘boyish’ unless you want an axe through your head,” Stan mumbled back. “But yeah.” Not the most unlikely person to run into in the woods, but it still took some bad luck to cross paths with anyone out here. He’d hoped to put off explaining Ford’s presence to the townspeople at least until after he’d talked about it with Ford, which he’d been putting off because there were bigger fish in the barrel. Like demonic possession and rifts in reality. Right now, Stan’s headache was still going strong in the back of his head, and Ford was staring at the man like he half expected him to turn into a monster any second. Not the best of moments for introductions.

Without warning, Dan raised two overly muscular arms and roared. “I’m a prophet!”

Ford took two steps backwards, but Stan reflexively put a hand on his arm, stopping him from bolting. Turning his attention to Dan, Stan sighed theatrically and crossed his arms. “You’re a what now.”

“A prophet.” Dan grinned with a lot of teeth. “There was two of you in my dream, and now here you are!”

“That’s great,” Stan said, “But there’s still only one of me.” He flicked his head at Ford. “He’s my nephew.” The lie was natural, easy, but something inside his chest still ached when he didn’t say brother.

Ford twitched. His hands were hidden behind his back, and he still looked ready to run. “Ah,” he said. “Yes. Nephew.”

“I see.” Dan held out his hand, and Ford predictably refused to take it. Stan had started to realize that was a pattern with him now. Defusing it before Dan would take offence, Stan gestured smoothly at Ford and Dan. “Dan Corduroy – this is Stanford Pines. The younger,” he added with a small grin that he really didn’t feel. “Ford – this is Manly Dan Corduroy.”

“Nice to meetcha. I see your family has no imagination for names.”

“They really don’t,” Ford said weakly. “Just call me Ford.”

“So you’re the dad of those runts running around in the Mystery Shack this year?”

“What? No, I’m—”

“Different nephew,” Stan said. “Son of a different brother, too. You know how it is with family – one moment there’s none, and the next they’re crawling out of the woodwork.”

Dan laughed. “I sure do! Well—” He started to turn as if to leave, but then he stopped. “Hey, Junior.” He glanced at the hole in the side of Ford’s coat, and the bandages barely visible underneath. “You get bit by something? If there’s a critter out there attacking people, I need to know so I can wrestle it.”

“No! No, that’s fine. It’s not that bad.” Ford shook his head, but Dan had already turned to stare at Stan’s bump and the dried blood.

He punched his hand with a fist. “Alright, accidents happen and it’s no other man’s business to ask about it, but you two ain’t gonna drive yourselves home looking like that. You’re coming with me, Pines.”

Ford glanced at Stan, wide-eyed and looking very uncomfortable. “Come on, we might as well,” Stan muttered, pulling at Ford’s elbow to follow Dan. “I’d rather get a free ride than stand around arguing.”

Dan seemed to be leading them a slightly different path than they’d been taking. Ford hesitated, but Stan pulled him along.

“Are you sure it’s—” Ford’s mumble was barely audible.

“Safe?”

“He’s not possessed, but—”

“He’s Dan flipping Corduroy. Not his style to consort with demons. You knew him, didn’t ya?”

“A bit. But he was younger then.”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look. If he wanted to hurt us, he’d do it right here, not go back to the road first.” He got where Ford’s paranoia was coming from, sure, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t annoying.

“What’re ya mumbling about?” Dan interrupted. “Speak up like a man, Stanford!”

Stan snorted. “I was just telling Ford that sometimes people in a small town help each other out.” He gave Dan a meaningful look. “Cause I’m not gonna pay ya for this.”

Ford flinched like he thought Stan was poking a dragon, but Dan just rubbed his beard. “Wouldn’t dream of charging. Still want that free pizza, though!”

“Eh. It might happen someday.” Stan turned to Ford. “See?” To Dan, he added, “He’s from New Jersey.”

Dan laughed. “Welcome to Gravity Falls, then!”

 Dan’s old Jeep was parked at a tiny unpaved road that Stan hadn’t even been aware of, actually closer than where he’d left the Stanleymobile. Ford got into the front passenger seat with some clear reluctance, but Stan figured there was no helping that. It was just a short ride, and as far as Stan was concerned, not having to drive was a luxury. He climbed into the back seat and rubbed the bump on his head while Dan started up the car.

“Y’know,” Dan said, looking sideways at Ford. “The more I look at ya, the more ya give me a bad case of déjà vu.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, I think your uncle even used to wear that same kinda coat way back before he even started doing the Mystery Shack business. Isn’t that right, Pines?”

“Could be.” Stan tried to be noncommittal. He didn’t like that topic of conversation, not for his own sake and even less for Ford’s.

“Wish I had some picture of him back then. Would be something to compare!”

“Yes,” Ford said steely. “We do look a lot alike.”

It was a relief when Dan just grunted and stopped talking for a while, not least because Dan’s voice was on the loud side of roaring, which didn’t help Stan’s headache any. Also because he was not up to explaining a highly incriminating backstory or bullshitting a family background that Ford might or might not take offence at. Not if he didn’t have to.

Ford drummed his fingers on the car window, then stopped with a cringe and hid his hand in his pocket again. It reminded Stan of how he’d acted back when he’d found himself among strangers when they were kids. Being worried about his hands couldn’t help his paranoia any, and Stan wished he’d stop, but he wasn’t going to bring attention to it right in front of Dan, either.

They were turning on the intersection of Gopher Road when Ford spoke up. “You said you had a dream about two Stanford Pineses. What kind of a dream?”

“Funny thing!” Dan replied, his voice filling the car again. “I was having a nap, and then I started feeling like someone was watching me. So I looked up, and I saw old Mister Mystery here. Except there were two of him. And it could be that they were both a bit younger, but I’m not sure. Anyway, then I guess I went up to ‘em and beat them up.” He laughed at that, but Stan started to listen more carefully. Maybe Ford shouldn’t have asked that question.

Dan rubbed his beard with a wry grin. “That’s the weirdest part. In the dream, it seemed like a good idea to rob you and run off with the bag you were carrying.”

Stan made himself laugh. “That’s hilarious,” he said, completely aware that Ford was stiffening in the seat in front of him.

“And then I looked up at the sky,” Dan continued, “And instead of the sun there was a big yellow triangle with an eyeball in the middle, like—”

Ford threw the passenger side door open, making Dan screech the car to a halt.

“What the hell, Junior!?”

“You’re going to let us off, now,” Ford intoned.

“We’ve got 200 yards to the Mystery Shack,” Dan said, confused, but Ford was already scrambling out of the car, pulling open the door next to Stan.

Stan wouldn’t have minded riding the last 200 yards as well, but that wasn’t an option anymore. Dammit, but Ford was in a panic and if there was actually some reason for it it would have been a lot safer to just not let it on, but it was too late for that. He scooped up the bag and got down to Ford, who ripped the bag from him and went off into the forest before Stan could even turn back to the puzzled lumberjack.

“Sorry,” he said, “But I guess my br—my nephew wants to walk the rest of the way. We’ll be fine, thanks for the ride.”

Dan frowned. “What’s in that bag?”

“A well-used first aid kit,” Stan said with a grimace as if the whole thing confused him too, then glanced after Ford. “I’m gonna go see to him. See ya later.”

[rigelmejo]

So like around 10 chapters of webnovel 镇魂 is 4 chapters of print version. I just finished reading the 4th chapter of my print copy and it ended on page 46.

I’ve been doing Listening Reading Method with Guardian (the webnovel and audiobook by Avenuex that matches it). And then I’ve also been reading my print version to see the differences and so my readings mostly kept up with my L R Method as far as “story covered so far.” I know I’m slightly behind L R method since I’ve also done webnovel chapters 11-12 where Shen Wei talks with zhao yunlan, and zhu Hong has a scene.

Anyway that’s just a bit of perspective lol. Reading the print novel is wild because sometimes a chapter is 5 pages and takes about 20 minutes to read like roughly the amount of time the webnovel chapters audiobook chapters take to read aloud. Then other times a chapter is 20-30 pages and I’m like!!! When will I get through this?!!! And it takes like an hour... or worse... ;-;

In related things: doing L R Method continues to have some nice benefits. It has improved how easy extensive reading (this specific novel is) by a lot. Every page only has 1-2 unknown words now, and they’re unknown words I can figure out from context. Idioms I can generally either remember or figure out now. So in general, reading feels like that “reading ease” you supposedly feel at 98% comprehension. I may not know all the Hanzi fully (as in both pronunciation and meaning). but because I’ve now heard many of the words in this novel and often seen them with definitions during L R method, I can now recognize what I’m looking at - like I said, pretty much all of the time. I encounter a few unknown words but even them i can fully grasp with context. I think there were only one or two instances in 10 pages where I felt I could only guess the meaning of a word vaguely - rather than being pretty sure of the meaning upon guessing. So it feels? A lot like reading English in terms of ease (not speed though).

So I would definitely say doing L R Method a little bit could be a good way to “prestudy” a chapter or novel if you know you’ll need to up your vocab for the material. Alternatives of course are: reading intensively until you’ve acquired enough vocab to stop having to do that - which is what I did with 寒舍 and it took ~30 chapters to feel possible to extensively read and I still look up words frequently at ~60 chapters in because reading extensively is Not at 98% comprehension it’s just overall meaning and some details comprehension. (Although reading intensively until not needed would probably work well with stuff only a little above my comprehension level since it probably wouldn’t take as many chapters - intensive reading is also good practice for Hanzi lookups for me to be honest as far as constant pronunciation checks). Another alternative is flashcards/prestudy lists - which I don’t do generally unless I’m a total beginner (I’ve done this to learn 2000 words, and for my HSK graded readers I pre-studied the vocab lists in the back of the books first). For me that works best at beginner stage when payoff is highest, or when I’m using a material tailor made for this like graded readers (also that zhitool website I linked that I’ll link to this later - had a list generating tool to do this with any reading if you like this way). Then there’s L R Method as reading “pre-study”. What I find helpful about L R method is: if you learn better with audio it helps remember, it provides context which helps with comprehension, and it involves repetition so you practice seeing a word/then word with definition, audio with text/audio without text. The plus is the repetition helps it stick and be experienced in different ways, the weakness of this is there’s limited time to look up anything in depth (a benefit of intensive reading instead, or even extensive reading when I have more time to actually contemplate Hanzi and look at them). What helps with the L R Methods pre-study is I pick up the vast majority of the words in a chapter somewhat (I would probably have even more success if I did step 3 multiple times), which makes overall comprehension later when extensively reading much better. I also gain an internal listening memory for a lot of the words I picked up - helping me read aloud later, helping me remember some Hanzi pronunciations better (I think Doing L R method shadowing step would help more but I don’t do that often). However, since times limited during L R Method steps (since it’s at the speed of audio), the things I find hardest to pick up I generally still end up missing. So intensive or extensive reading giving me more time to contemplate those parts definitely helps. The inner reading voice is a benefit I didn’t think I’d get but am definitely starting to get.

And again, extensive reading practices some skills none of the other activities do: trusting in my own abilities alone to recognize Hanzi, to recognize meaning in context, to figure out idioms. Challenging myself without help to recognize and figure out what’s vaguely familiar but not perfectly remembered yet (which I think ultimately helps me remember those things better), relying on myself to remember the sounds. And then in general: strengthening my ability to recognize what I do understand (since any those other things above I have tools to rely on if I doubt my own understanding), strengthening general reading skills like grammar comprehension, and as those strengthen eventually improving reading speed. Those things that intensive reading can’t really help me improve in, and L R Method doesn’t necessarily give me the time to focus on.

I mean seems pretty obvious lol ToT as usual these notes are for myself. In case I forget ToT

from what I’ve been figuring out, I’m going to try extensively reading something easier again soon. To improve all those extensive reading skills more. While I can extensively read guardian right now, it is still written in a way where even if I know nearly all words they’re newly learned, even if I can figure out all unknown words right now it’s a matter of “I JUST developed the knowledge needed to recognize them” so I think it’s still sort of like... when you’re 9 and you could read an adult novel technically skills wise but it might still be easier to read stuff closer to ur level and improve speed/etc more first. Guardian is taking So Long to read rn lol. Compared to 小王子 which took a handful of days. I’d rather practice with a few more books that take me a week each, build up my reading skill more - more pages read more practice right?

[i-write-about-anything]

Little Beta(s) Chapter 37

Prompt: Liam get’s turned at an early age and he looks at you as his guardian/parent. Plus you’re dating Scott who’s always trying to look after him. (10 year gap between Liam and reader)

Pairing: Liam Dunbar x Reader (platonic) Scott McCall x Reader, Derek Hale (younger and platonic) x Reader

Chapters:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20- 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 -25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36

Liam’s POV

Pregnant. Mom was pregnant. She was having a baby and I didn't know how to feel about it. I was going to be a big brother, if they still wanted me here. Derek didn’t say a word and I could tell he was thinking the same, what the hell is going to happen to us? Sure we’d been her sons for a while now, me especially but she was getting her own flesh and blood kid. The more I thought about it the more down I got about it all. I couldn’t help but imagine that she’d kick us out so she could make our room the babies room. Or that she’d kick us out just so her and dad could have the life they always wanted with their own kids. I could see her mouth move but my ears won't registering anything she was saying. I was scared to hear what she had to say and I was scared that this was the end of me being here. I felt her hands on mine and I looked down and I didn’t realize I had been crying until her thumb brushed across my cheek. “Honey, why are you crying?” Her voice was sad and I couldn’t help the sob that came out of my mouth. “Hey, it’s okay, I'm still going to love you, you’re still going to be my son.” I looked at her and she gave me a small smile. 

“You’re not going to kick me out? Or Derek?” I looked at Derek who’s arms were crossed over his chest and I could tell he wanted the answer to the same question. 

“Kick you out?” Scott spoke up. “Why the hell would we kick you guys out?” He crossed his arms and I looked down. 

“Because you guys are having a baby. If you haven’t noticed this house only has two bedrooms.” Derek spoke lightly. 

“Listen, you both out mine now, and just because I'm having a baby doesn’t mean I'm going to kick you out in the curb. I want you to be a part of the baby’s life, both of you.” Mom looked at Derek and gave him a smile. “Now I don’t know how far a long I am so I don’t know when we can find out if it’s a boy or a girl but I'm hoping the both of you are there to find out if you’re having a brother or a sister. That’s if you are both okay with this.” She bit her lip and played with her fingers. 

“I’m going to be a big brother?” I whispered out not knowing I was going to. Mom smiled and nodded before I wrapped my arms around her. She sniffed and I knew she was scared that I'd have an outburst when she told me but truth was I didn't mind it, at least not now. 

“Come here.” Her voice spoke near my ear before she pulled away and I saw Derek get up from the table and hug mom. I looked at dad who looked at mom and sighed. 

“I’m sorry, about overreacting and making it about myself.” He bit his lip and mom pulled away from Derek and made her way towards dad. 

“It is about you too, you know. I know this scares you, hell it scares me. There’s so many things that could go wrong, we’re not ready for this and I know it. We’re already raising two teenage werewolves, how do you think it’s going to go when a newborn comes in play? Plus we just lost all the support we had and now we’re in a new town where no one knows who we are, I'm not working so I don’t know how the hell we’re going to come up with the money to raise this kid. It’s horrible timing, I know and I'm sorry.” As she rambled dad put her arms around her and kissed her forehead. 

“Hey, calm down. You’re going to start having panic attacks if you don’t. Listen, we’re going to get through this, Liam and Derek won’t be trouble, they’re doing pretty good at keeping themselves on check. Plus we still have some money saved from the house we sold back in beacon hills, it’s going to be fine, we’re going to get through this, I promise.” He whispered and I looked at Derek who smiled. 

“We’re going to be big brothers.” He huffed out putting his hands in his pockets. 

“Yeah.” I smiled back and mom pulled away from dad before looking a us. 

“Are ya’ll okay?” She wiped her nose and we both nodded at the same time before she came over to hug the both of us. 

___________

Reader’s POV

Liam and Derek had taken the news exactly how I expected it. Granted it was a big deal, this was going to be something new for all four of us and I knew they were scared. They didn’t want to admit it but they weren’t exactly prepared for this and neither was I. Scott was on the phone making an appointment for a local OB/GYN to get me checked out and I could tell he was trying to make up for his lack of communication the past week. I was glad he was talking to me again and honestly I was glad we were back to normal, well semi-normal. Liam was cuddled next to me while we watched one of Derek’s favorite soap operas, he had us hooked on the stupid thing and it’s something we watched on a weekly basis. “Mom.” Liam spoke and I looked over to him. 

“Yeah?” I blinked my eyes a bit to readjust to the light away from the tv. 

“Once the baby comes are you going to forget about me?” He bit his lip and I sighed. 

“Of course not honey. You’ll always be my first kid. Sure you’re not biologically mine but you know what, you’ve done so much to change me and dad’s life that we can’t thank you enough. I love you honey, don’t forget that.” I kissed his forehead and he smiled before closing his eyes and laying his head on my lap. 

“I hope it’s a boy.” Derek spoke up and I giggled. 

“Another boy? Your mom’s already outnumbered.” Scott spoke sitting next to me and putting his arm around my shoulder. 

“Oh don’t act like you wouldn't want another boy.” I rolled my eyes and smiled when he kissed me. 

“I’m not denying that.” He laughed and I smiled. “What do you want I to be Liam?” I ran my fingers through his hair and he shrugged. 

“I don’t know, I don’t really care as long as it’s healthy.” He spoke and I smiled. 

“See, that should have been everyone’s answer.” I raised my eyebrows to Scott and he put his hands up in defense. My phone rang and Liam grabbed it off of the coffee table before handing it to me. “It’s your mom.” I smiled at Scott before answering it. “Hello?” 

“Hey sweetie, how’s it going?” I could tell she was excited to talk to me which is probably why we stayed on the phone for a whole hour. I had to leave the living room as Derek kept telling me to keep it down, him and his damn soap operas. I hadn’t told Melissa I was pregnant and I didn’t plan on it until I knew that things were going good. She had told me that the hunters were still out there looking for Scott, that hadn’t surprised me given the fact that we ran instead of fighting. I knew this was for the best but I also knew that they'll catch up to us eventually and that terrified me. 

“Mom.” Liam spoke once he walked back into the living room and I hadn’t noticed he was gone because Derek had laid his head on my lap and I could tell he had fallen asleep by the faint snores his mouth let out. 

“Everything okay?” I whispered to Liam and he nodded. 

“I just wanted to know if Mason could come sometime next week? He said they’re having a whole week of vacation out of school and I was wondering maybe he could come over here?” He rubbed the back of his neck and I smiled. 

“Of course honey.” He smiled and ran back to his room which I assumed was to tell Mason I had said yes. I was glad his spirit was up because if he would have been as sad as I had been the past week I don’t know how I'd take it. 

______________

Scott’s POV

Days passed quickly as the day of the OB/GYN appointment approached and I was nervous. I don’t know why the hell I was but all I knew was that I wanted to see if the baby was healthy and when we could find out the sex of the baby. (Y/N) had been slightly happier since announcing her pregnancy to the boys and I was glad they didn’t react half as bad as I thought they would. To my surprise (y/n) hadn’t had any morning sickness which was always a plus. She was dying to tell someone else, someone who’d share the excitement with her and I knew she wanted to tell my mom and Lydia but she wanted to wait. Liam and Derek had also been getting along better, they spent most of their free time together, occasionally Derek would teach Liam how to play basketball after school. Most of the kids would laugh at them but they didn’t care, not since my sudden outburst on Liam which I still hadn’t apologized for. I had been needing to talk to him since he’d been ignoring me lately but with all the coaching and all the stress back home I hadn’t had a chance. Deaton had called when the hunters threatened him telling me that they were coming after me and I didn't need this right now. With (y/n) pregnant I couldn’t have her at any kind of risk which is why I had made a decision to go back to beacon hills and end this once and for all. I didn’t know how to tell (y/n) or the boys but I knew that I’d have to lie about it and I knew I had to do it quick. 

_______________

tags; @leslieandjensen @hirafth @neptuneluek @lydiasbxtch @adellyhatter-blog @nxthing-lasts-fxrever@letmebecomeataboo @cloudchaserr @nerdyowlbookfreak @xcastawayherosx @k-baileyy@scotttstilinskii @therealmrshale @thesuperkpopfan @queen–glitch @my-body-is-not-a-temple@mutifandomgirl @moo0803 @hautedbybieber

[maylovexhs]

GUILTY(H.S) -CHAPTER 4

Author’s Note: Why do I keep writing long chapters? Anyways, this one is emotional. Just a warning xxx M 

For previous chapters you can find them here. 

Chapter 4

It was him.

H.

 He cut his hair. He no longer had long locks. His hair is a quiff now, almost the same as the first time I met him. He had muscles, actual muscles that you would have to go to the gym daily for. Well at least that was what I saw from his long yellow sleeved shirt. Time really does make a difference. He looked at my stomach. He smiled. Great, another person who doesn't need to know I'm pregnant. 

"What are you doing here?"

I felt like I was going to faint. This can't be happening. How is he, of all people, here? I could already feel a headache growing.

"I can explain 'Meli-"

"Don't call me that. It's A-mel-ia" I said with a defensive voice.

"Sorry, love"

"Don't call me that either. And don't call me pal too" 

I crossed my arms around my chest. I should have worn a bra. Harry put his hands in the air as if he was a criminal surrendering to the police.

 "Dex" He paused for a second. "Dexter invited me to stay the night . . .He didn't tell me yeh' would be here" 

Harry shook his head, running his hands through his hair, fixing it. Wow. So I'm not the only one he has been lying to all this time. What  the hell changed Dex? I sighed. I was frustrated. I spent the last two years trying to avoid Harry. This must be a joke.

 "Why are you still here then?"

"I forgot my hat" He said. "Have yeh seen it?"

Yup, that part of him hasn't changed at all. Harry could be forgetful sometimes. No, most times

."No I haven't-"

I jumped when I heard the kettle ring and harry took amusement in my reaction. He laughed, eyes squinted closed. 

"Not funny" I said giving him my death stare.

"Sorry" 

He wasn't though. He was still laughing. 

"What color is your hat?" I asked pouring the hot water into my cup.

"Black. It's a failsworth cap"

Caps? What happened to his fedoras?

"Check the dining room. Didn't see it in the living room" 

Harry went out of the kitchen into the dining room. I tried to escape him finding my way up the stairs. I wasn't fast enough. I was halfway up the stairs when Harry called my name.

 "'Melia!" Harry called walking into the living room, noticing me on the stairs.

 He had his black hat on. I rolled my eyes.

"What?" I asked turning to face him.

"Can I take yeh' out for lunch?"

Is he serious? It's pretty obvious that I wanted to be clear of him."Are you kidding?"

"Yeah. I wanted to talk to yeh"

"Well then. . . no. My boyfriend may want to be your friend, but I don't. Not anymore. I want nothing to do with you. You know the way to the door"

 "Is it a girl?" He asked

."Why do you care?"

"I like babies" He said. 

I looked down at the flowers sitting on the table next to the stairs. Just get rid of him, I reminded myself.

"It's a girl" I said, going up the stairs and entering the bedroom.

I closed the door behind me. Seconds later, I heard the echo of the house door close. I leaned my head against the bedroom door. This is going to be a long day. 

"So the realtor said everything ran smoothly. I think we can leave earlier than excepted. Should I message Dex?" Victoria said exiting  the mansion. 

"No, don't tell him anything. He doesn't deserve to know about it. After all, he's not telling me anything either"

 "Is it this why you kept ignoring his calls in our meeting?" Her eyes lit up with curiosity. "Did he do something—did he cheat?"

Cheating would have been better. 

"Oh God no, Victoria. Dex would never do that." I said. 

I knew even Dex had his limits in relationships. But cheating would have turned out better though. The truth would come out one way or another.

"Are you sure?" Victoria asked.

I gave her a death stare. I've been giving everyone death stares. I kept giving Dex one while he was asleep in bed. I was furious with him. He knows he has no position in my past with Harry. He had no right to meddle with people from my past. How can he do this to me? How can he say I have nothing to worry about when I do? I had it with him being secretive. He started being secretive exactly when Harry showed up in our lives.

"Sorry, you know I'm not one for relationships. What happened?"

"Harry and Dex hung out last night and Dex hasn't told me about it."

"That's it?" Victoria looked as if she was expecting more. 

"Harry also wants to talk to me. I said no"

"Why say no?"

"You know why, Vic" 

“"Yes but aren't you the one who always gives people second chances? Forgiveness is practically your middle name" Victoria said.

"Only when they deserve it" I stated. 

"Well, I know you won't follow my advice since you never do but, I would talk to him"

"Why? You always hated my exes. You even hate Dex"

"I do hate them but rule number one of management is that it's always great to fix a problem before it gets out of hands"

"Oh, you're just afraid I'll punch someone again" I teased her. 

I heard a car beep close by.

"Possibly. There's one more thing I need to tell you"

"What?"

"I called Dex. He's behind you. You really thought I was going to let him interrupt our meeting with the realtor more than 6 times? I'll be in the car" She said passing Dex whom approached me. 

He had flowers in his hands. Pink peonies in fact. My favorite. 

"Mel" Dex said trying to talk to me.

I rolled my eyes at him. I've been giving him the silence treatment ever since he woke up. If he's going to be secretive, so will I.

 "Can you stop ignoring me and talk to me? You left the house without telling me where you were going? I got you flowers"

"Why do I need to tell you? You haven't told me about Harry or how you went out with him last night? And I don't want those flowers, especially not from a liar"

"You know" Dex stated taking a moment.

"Of course! You think I'm that dumb  not to notice? Or that I'm that careless to allow you to meddle with anything that involves me? Because I'm not"

 "Let me tell you what happened"

"No, don't!" I yelled at him. "You're just going to lie again. What has our relationship turned into?! Two months ago we were perfect. No lies. Complete trust. No one becoming in between us. What is happened to us? What's happened to you?" 

I walked away.

"Mel, calm down. Give me a chance to explain, babe. If not for me, at least for our girl"

I stopped walking. I turned around, facing him now.

"Be honest. Because if you don't, I swear to God, I will breakup with you and raise her on my own. Without you"

Dex looked at me as if I've done something unforgivable. But I didn't care. How can two people raise a baby together when there is no trust in the other?

"You wouldn't dare" Dex said. He was giving me his death stare.

"Try me" I said, being dead serious.

 "The complete truth?" Dex asked. 

"All of it" I said.

 "You might want to sit down" Dex suggested.

 I sat down on the steps of the mansion entrance. Dex sat next to me. He placed the flowers on his lap. He traced one of the flowers' petal before taking in a deep breath.

 "Harry told me he wanted to talk to you when he was in New York. I didn't tell you at first because I thought . . ."

"Thought what?" I asked. "You can tell me anything"

 "You know I have trust issues—"

"And I don't blame you. Your father and you didn't have the best relationship but I'm not him. You can trust me" I held his hand. "I love you"

He looked down at our joint hands. 

"I thought you would leave me" He admitted.

 "Leave you? For him? Where is all this coming from?" I asked.

I was confused. Not confused. Slightly angered. I hated when people underestimated me, most importantly close friends. Dex and I both knew that I'm smart enough on how to raise a family on my own. But did Dex really think I wasn't smart enough that I would go back to a person I had bad history with? Sometimes, Dex baffled me with his irrationality. 

 "Harry told me about what happened between you two. How he described it, it sounded that you were the happiest you've ever been when you were with him well before he-"

"I'm pregnant. With your child" I stated. "You really don't trust me after all we have been through? After when I told you all my secrets at 3 am in the morning? After how I let you in about how I had daddy issues? After how every day I choose to be with you and not someone else?"

I waited for him to answer but he had nothing to say.

 "You're not going to say anything? Yes, no?"

 "Mel, you know I have a difficult time opening up. You wouldn't understand—"

I slapped him. Dex was in disbelief. I could see red forming on his cheek.

"Give me your phone" I said.

"Why?"

"GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!"

Dex gave me his phone. I already knew his password. I went to his recent calls and saw Harry's name. I touched it and the phone began to ring. He answered fast.

"Hey Dex!" Harry said in a cheerful voice.

"Actually, no it's Amelia. Do you want to go out for lunch right now?" I asked bluntly. 

"'Melia! Sure. I would love to. I might be late. I–"

"I can wait." I cut him off. "Cafe Habana? 12:30?" 

"Yeh. Sounds great. I'll see you there"

"See you. Bye Harry"

"Bye love"

 I hung up the phone and handed it back to Dex. 

"Keys please" 

It's been thirty minutes since I arrived here and I was getting anxious. I felt eyes prying on me. I was wearing the same yellow dress with the same flower heels. The dress was loose, not loose enough to hide my bump though. Despite wanting to know what happened between Dex and Harry, I had no other reason I wanted to be here. I hated Mexican food and I hated waiting alone in public. I was eating was tortilla chips when I was craving something sweet. Instead I was being surrounded by salty and spicy food. I distracted myself by being on my phone. Harry arrived minutes later, wearing his favorite blue shirt. I could smell vanilla mixed with other spices when he walked in here. Pregnancy hormones are somewhat tolerable after you reach your milestone in your pregnancy.

"'Melia!" Harry exclaimed bringing me into a hug.

He was soft, ironic due to how muscular he appears to be. I can't remember the last time I hugged him. 

"Mandarin" Harry said as I broke the hug. "Is it Chanel?"

Right . .Harry could always point out which perfume a girl was wearing just by the smell. It was a bit odd and creepy, I got used to it after I met him.

"Yeah, its coco" I said as we sat down.

 I looked at his hands. He had new rings. Usually, when he had a new ring, there was someone in his life. I remember he and I shared rings.

"New rings" I said. "Any special lady the Harry Styles has been seeing?"

 I drank my water.

 "Not really. I don't want to get into it. What about yeh?" Harry said changing the topic.

Clearly, he's hiding something.

"What about me?" I asked.

"Yeh' changed. When are yeh due?" He asked, referring to my pregnancy.

"End of January" I said. "Aquarius" 

"Like me" Harry grinned.

I hope I don't give birth on his birthday. Any day besides that would perfect.

"Almost. Don't get your hopes up." I said.

 A waiter approached us, taking our orders. Of course, Harry went for a salad. I ordered buttermilk pancakes which Harry was confused by. I shrugged it off. I'm the one who has to eat for two.At first, we didn't talk about what happened between us or why it did occur. Until now, we discussed what happened since we drifted apart. Harry went to Jamaica to record his album, only taking a break to film Dunkirk, which the one and only Christopher Nolan directed. He was about to leave for tour but had to do some promotion first. I was a bit jealous of him. He was only twenty-three. He had so much going for him. I hated to admit it but I was proud of him. Then, there was me. I finished my tour and returned to acting. Now, I'm numbering the days until my girl  comes into the world. Or more like numbering the days until I trade my independence for changing diapers.

"What about Dexter? How did yeh' two meet?" Harry asked.

 "Didn't he tell you? We met at a party in 2015" I answered.

Harry smirked, eyes glued to me. 

"2015" He repeated. "Was it after or before we–"

"Dated?" I asked him.

 He nodded.

"It was before. Two months, I think"

"Oh" Harry said in relief. "You didn't tell me about him before"

"It wasn't important back then. Besides it's not as bad as what you did" I grinned.

 "How was Kendall?"

Harry looked down at his almost empty salad. I expected him to be disappointed, but he actually started to smirk.

"Knew yeh' were going to ask that" He responded.

"Knew you would try to ignore me as always" I said.

 He looked at me.

"Do yeh' want to get out of here?" He asked.

"Why?" I crossed my arms, laying it on the table. "Too narcissistic to admit you did something wrong, so you're trying to change the topic."

 "'Melia" Harry protested trying to stop me.

"You haven't changed at all" I said.

Harry waited a minute before speaking.

"Come with me, and I'll tell yeh' everything yeh' want to know. In privacy. Please"

Should I go? It's not like I have nothing to do. Listening to his album yesterday just made me more confused and I deserve an honest and clear answer after all these years. Nothing is going to happen between us and me being pregnant secured that. What do I have to lose?

"Fine. I'm driving though"

"Al'right" He agreed. 

"Jeff dropped me here anyways"

"Okay. Where are we going?"

"So I'm not the only one selling an old house?" I asked walking into the living room of Harry's old house.

"Guess not" Harry answered. "I have a bit of trouble selling it on my side"

No wonder why, the house had no trace of living in it. There was furniture, of course. There had to be for the buyers, but no personal items were on display. Harry kept staring at me as I looked around. The house was cold and empty. The sun peering in did little to help. I remember all the times I spent the nights here. I really didn't have a choice. Harry usually begged me to sleep by him and when I did he would sleep by me. Other times Harry would distract me with movies until I fell asleep on the couch. I would yell at him the next morning blaming him for my lateness to meetings. Why would he ever leave here?

"Quit it" I said.

"Quit what?" Harry asked, not too surprised.

He was leaning against a wall of the living room.

"Staring at me. It's creeping me out" 

I turned to him.

"Sorry love" Harry said. "You seem interested"

"I am. I have a question" I said.

"What is it?"

"Why are leaving Los Angeles for New York?" I asked. "It doesn't make sense. Everything about you says LA"

"Everything?" Harry asked looking down at himself.

"Personality-wise, I mean"

 "I don't think I am. Maybe a part"

"Im being serious. Really though, why? You love waking up to the sun. You love warm weather. You like peace and quiet. New York City is the complete opposite"

 "I felt like I needed a change" 

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"And that change is New York City? When there are million other places like London?" I asked.

 "Yeah . . . aren't yeh' the one who said New York changes people?"

"I said that years ago. Knowing stubborn you, I didn't thought you would listen" 

I sat on the couch. Harry walked over and sat next to me.

"Did you know . . . in New York before you moved in-"

"That you lived there?" Harry finished my sentence.

"Yup" I said, looking down. 

I bit my lip.

 "No, not at all"

 I chuckled.

 "Aye what's with yeh'?"

"You really didn't know that I lived there? That's bullshit" I said. 

"I wish. No one told me"

I had a feeling he was lying.

"Not even Jeffery? You didn't check online who your neighbors would be?" I asked, looking at him.

"Well after I got the apartment, I did. I wanted to introduce myself"

"Is sending tulips a way to introduce yourself?"

"Kinda. They're yeh' favorite, right?"

"Used to be. Peonies are my favorite now"

"Now that's bullshit"

"Hey! I can't control what I like" I said.

"Next time. Which color do yeh' want me to send? Pink or white?"

"Pink" I laughed.

We spent the next few minutes in silence. We avoided looking at each other. I could feel our passion burn as awkwardness grew. I could tell he knew where this conversation was going.

"I listened to your album" I stated. "Yesterday, actually"

I lifted my head to him at the same time he did. 

"Did you?" Harry smiled.

His big bluish-green eyes burned into mine.

"Yeah" I said looking away.

 "Did you like it?" He asked.

 "Yeah. Especially from the dining table"

"That's my favorite off it"

 "I cried during that one" I blurted out.

Harry looked down.

 "Sorry about that"

"It's okay" I said. "A musician has to have his muse, doesn't he?"

He didn't say nothing. 

"It's about me, isn't it? So are the other two?" I asked, thinking about Woman and Sweet Creature.

"Actually, three" Harry corrected.

He wrote another song. I looked back to him.

"Why did you stop talking to me?" I asked. "You just stopped. You didn't say anything to me after we broke up. I felt like I did something wrong-"

"No, no" Harry said cutting me off. "You didn't do anything"

"Well, it felt like I did" I said. "It hurt, you know? Seeing those pictures of you kissing her, all happy and carefree"

Harry raised his head to me.

"'Melia, you-"

"I'm not finished!" I said out loud. "We broke up and I said I wanted to still be friends with you because I didn't want to lose one of the best people in my life and you . . ." I felt my eyes start to water. "You also wanted that"

Harry looked down trying to avoid me.

"You wanted that. So why two weeks later did you stop talking to your friend?"

"'Melia . . . I know I shouldn't have done that"

"You're right you shouldn't have" I said. 

I felt water fall down my face. 

"I tried calling you but you never answered. I understood you needed space but I expected you to call me back and you never did. Instead, I found you kissing her. I wasn't mad, not one bit. I was disappointed that you had time for her but not for me"

"I called yeh' after-"

"AT THE WRONG TIME!" I yelled.

 We spent the next moments in quiet, except the sound of crying coming from me. Harry looked at me and held my hand. I know he was trying to comfort me but he made it worse.

"At the wrong time" I said again. "You called me when it was too late. You called when I was drunk asleep trying to forget you. You called me when I was thinking how damaged and imperfect I was to you. You called when I was crying over you and the only person there to comfort me was Dex. But you know what?"

 I took my hand that Harry was holding and swept my tears away. I looked into Harry's eyes.

 "I got over it" I said. "I got over you." 

I stood up, still looking at him. 

"I don't need you anymore. I don't need your apologizes. You didn't want or need me anymore. I was nothing but someone you could run to when you were bored and hated to be alone. It's your fault. It was your fault. I learned to love me, not you. So please Harry, just leave me and Dex alone. That's all I want"

 I walked past him and went to the door. As much as I tried to sweep the tears away, they kept coming.

 "'Melia" Harry called after me.

"What?" I sobbed.

He stood there looking at me. He had nothing to say. I'm not surprised, he's empty. Incapable of love.

 "Bye Harry" I said, slamming the door close.

I was back where I was twenty-four hours ago. On the couch, alone, thinking about Harry. All I kept thinking about was him. Mostly, how he say anything to me when I cried over him. Was he really that emotionless? The doorbell ringed. Probably it Dex. I texted him that I was home but he shouldn't come over. I needed time to think about our relationship. We were on the rocks. The doorbell rang again. I got up and walked to the door. 

"Dex I'm not in the mood n-" I said opening the door expecting to see him.It wasn't him. It was Harry.

"What are you doing here Harry?" I sighed.

I had enough of him today. No, enough of him in my life. 

"I didn't get to say what I wanted to yeh'"

"I don't need your apologizes. Go home before it's too late"

"Please?" Harry stared into my eyes.

"H-"

"Yeh' said yeh' wanted the truth"

 I crossed my arms.

"This better be quick, come in" I said leaving the door open.

I walked over to the couch and sat down. Harry sat on the sofa chair near me. He looked down at his shoes for a moment, then up at me.

"I was selfish. Still am" Harry stated.

"Go on"I lightly smiled.

"It was wrong of me to break our promise when yeh' didn't . . . It was me'h fault" 

Harry looked down at his shoes again. Obviously, he had a difficult time admitting something he didn't desire to. What else can you expect from a narcissist? 

"That's it?" I asked. "That's the truth?"

"No" Harry answered looking down still. 

"Then what happened? I promise I won't cry or yell like I did earlier" I said.

"You sure?" Harry asked looking at me again. "You won't be angry at me?"

"I've been angry with you for the last two years and it's been hell. I'm ready to let go"

Harry smiled at me with a glimpse of sincerity in his eyes.

 "I did need my space. .after we broke up"

"Okay. What about after? You didn't return my calls" 

"I wanted to. I couldn't"

"Couldn't? What- what kept you away?"

 Harry looked down again.

"I did" He said, under his breath.

"You. Wh- why?"

"I wanted to be friends with yeh' still. Yeh' . . just reminded me'h-"

"Reminded you of your failed relationships" I said.

"Yeah . . ."

We remained quiet for a while but that didn't bother me. I finally understood it. Perfectionist Harry Styles could stand to be around me because he knew he couldn't move forward with his life when all I would do is bring him back. So, he tried to move on with other projects and other people. Kendall was just an attempt to. He couldn't though. When he realized that, it was too late. I moved on. I hoped he did too by now.

"Do I still remind you . . of it?" I asked.

"No, no. I've changed. I learned how to tolerate it"

"That's good to hear" I commented.

The ringing of a clock was heard in the house.

"That's my exit" Harry said. "I'll try to stay away from yeh' and Dex as yeh' want. Tell him I wish he has the best. Yeh' too"

Harry walked away, heading to the door. I got up and tried to stop him.

"Don't go" I said in hallway to him.

His back was to me. He turned around with his lips forming into a smile.

"I changed my mind. Stay H. Stay" 

[bystardustt]

CUTE TAGS

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal, more food 

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yeah, until it hurts

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? my grade 11 history flashcards (I legit have 200 of them)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: with milk and sugar, coffee: with milk AND A LOT OF SUGAR

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? // yeah my gums show and itsa gross 

6: do you keep plants? nah 

7: do you name your plants? nah 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? journalling/writing 

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yeah, on the bus and everyone thinks I’m crazy 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? I have a lot but like I can’t think of one rn .

12: what’s your favorite planet? pluto, fucking fight me if you say it’s not a planet 

13: what’s something that made you smile today? I think I got full marks on a lab practical but I didn’t even know what were we suppose to do and I still don’t know what were we suppose to do or what was the concept behind it

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? hipster chapter’s store.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! in space, the skin on your feet peel off

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? alfredo anything

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? grey/silver

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. International Baccalaureate program

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? yes! and my emotions, like its hella emo and depressing af

20: what’s your favorite eye color? get me with those green eyes baby 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.  My small blue coach bag, I took it to China once and it got rekt on the plane (and in China in general) .

22: are you a morning person? no

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? watch a movie/tv show/ youtube vid

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no 

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? n/a

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? black keds, stained af, but cute with every outfit

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? set

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? she types with two fingers, only two 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yeah rn, like I got no plans for the future ahhhhhh

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. they chill, i like toed socks, sleeping in socks are for devil worshippers, no, I REALLY like toed socks 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. waking up at 3 am to watch the MAMAs 

33: what’s your fave pastry? STRUDAL, CROISSANT?? ANYTHING IN FRENCH??? JUST ANYTHING??

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? my dad and I were at a store once and I was looking at these huge easter bunnies and it was around my birthday and the next day when I came home from school the easter bunny from the store was on my bed, and it was pink cause that’s my fave colour and it was the one of the purest form of joy I’ve ever experienced, and yes I still have it, it’s still on my bed, and if anyone throws it out I will throw out their passport 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yas and yas

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? red velvet

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I WOULD like to keep it clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! wet socks, when people talk to me when i’m trying to listen to music, myself when I procrastinate, when people don’t listen to me and I have to repeat myself, my cousin’s gross ass hair everywhere on the wash bin, biology 207

39: what color do you wear the most? white 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have gold hoop earrings that my dad made me buy because there was this huge sale on and he felt cheated if he didn’t buy at least something 

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Tim Hortons at this gross building in my university, it’s brown (like 80s aesthetic), it’s fast, it’s cheap, I love it 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? the girl who was also taking the 6:50 bus in the morning

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? reading on my hammock during a warm summer day 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? no but I got nothing else so I still have to go with it

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. organic chemistry got me diene

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? bitter melon

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?  ghosts and demons, yeah kinda 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? // yeas, Lust for Life

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? mooncake boxes

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? my mom, anything Faye Wong

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? lamb sauce located

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? heathers, beetlejuice, pulp fiction, loved them all and want to incorporate their aesthetics into me as a person 

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my own eyes working on the lab report last night

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? silence treatment 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? being open minded and kind 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? don’t tell me what to do 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? vodka aunt is Y, I’m wine mom 

59: what’s your favorite myth? persephone

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?  no

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?  I gave my friend the communist manifesto, I have received a jar of frosting

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? my mom banned juice from my house

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey like my skin 

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? lucy 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?  apple blossoms, peach blossoms, cherry blossoms

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? cozy

68: what’s winter like where you live?  ever heard of hell?

69: what are your favorite board games? CLUE OR SORRY 

70: have you ever used a ouija board? NO

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? like “metal goddess”????? idk what it is in english but we always order it at dim sum or a chinese restaurant and its good 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah I can’t remember shit 

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful 

75: tell us about your pets! my dad overfed all my fish and killed them 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? studying but I’m doing this dumb tag

77: pink or yellow lemonade? “I believe in pink”

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neutral, like they cute

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?  painted my nails while watching the office

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? beige and no

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark like cola, but cola has bubbles that fizz and pop, just like their eyes (am I F Scott Fitzgerald yet?)

82: are/were you good in school? shit man I was so good but then some shit happened and now I’m failing 

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? this one fan art fro Hyuna’s RED

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? “love unconditionally” on left wrist, but I probs never won’t 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? read a bunch for an english class and watchman is my fave

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? one alfred hitchcock movie, one audrey hepburn movie, silence of the lambs, gone with the wind, in the mood for love, 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? the renaissance movement so people don’t look like 2d anymore that was cool 

89: are you close to your parents? eh

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. /SHANGHAI, like it has the most beautiful skyline and like on the other side of the bund there are European style buildings and behind them are these classic chinese streets, and so much history but so modern at the same time omf

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no where

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? screw the pasta just gimme the cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? overnight waves

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend

95: what are your plans for this weekend? study and like do 3 lab reports and an essay 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? idk, aries, slytherin 

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? two weeks ago with my friends, it was fun 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. /anything lana?? groupie love esp

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future, take me away from my present omf 

I tag @flcwerstudies @unbeast @caffenotes @amelia-studies @smoketexture @problematicprocrastinator @heyhomework 

and anyone else who wants to do it! 

(don’t feel obliged to it lol, it took forever for me smh) 

[violecentstrs]

Our True Love - Chapter 14

A/N: Okay! So close. One more chapter after this, then a bonus chapter! We are closing up this series. But I have a feeling I might write a sequel to this series. I don’t know. What do you guys think? Would you like me to? Let me know! Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The longest in the series!  (Sorry in advance for any grammatical errors in my stories!)

Previous Chapter(s): Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: Sweet, angst and smooch (huehue still) Word count: 5,540 Summary: Reader and Bucky doesn’t get along well after his marriage to Rosaline. Will her friendship with Bucky last or will they crumble and fade?

★ ★ ★

I lay in bed while staring up at the ceiling. I am so exhausted.

The sun peeks out from between the curtains of my window. I turn on my phone to see the time. I see messages from my co-workers on my screen popping up, asking me where I was. I sigh out. I have three days off, man. I just came back from a business trip.

They must have brought in new files then if they are that desperate for me. I weakly get up from the bed feeling my head spinning painfully. I sniff in. My nose is blocked. Great. It was a fever after all. I felt it coming last night.

I must’ve caught them over the trip. It was probably caused by the exhaustion. I barely got any sleep last night because of what happened too.

My mind plays back the memory when Bucky and I kissed. It was so passionate and slow. I never felt anything like it before. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I enjoyed every second of it. But it was wrong. So wrong.

I brush my fingers weakly over my lips, still remembering the way his lips moved on mine. How gentle it was. How quick it was. How passionate it was. It is as though Bucky had left a print of his lips against mine.

I hear the buzzing of my apartment doorbell. My head throbs at the noise. I didn’t want to get up, but it buzz once again after 30 seconds. I rub my temples before forcing myself out of the bed. The doorbell continues to buzz again. I’m going to punch the face of whoever it was.

“I’m coming! Geez.” I say while approaching the door and coughing out. I open the door, keeping the sliding on my door intact. Bucky’s figure stands outside of the door. My heart drops. Why didn’t I check the peephole first just now?

“Y/N.” He says.

I close the door back, but his metal arm got in the way. I bite my lower lip, leaning myself against the door. I don’t want to face him right now. Not when my head is throbbing like crazy.

“Y/N, open the door, please.” He pleads to me. I close my eyes, trying so hard not to think about the kiss.

“What do you want?” I ask him.

“I want to see you.” He says quietly. “Please.”

I sigh out. I can’t argue with him even if I wanted to. My head is spinning. He can even just bust the door down without hesitating if he wanted to.

“Remove your arm.” I say. When he did, I close the door back and remove the slider. After Bucky enters, I lean against the door to support myself as I lock the door. He looks over at me with concern in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asks. I wave him off while wobbling my way to the kitchen.

“Yeah, a little fever.” I say. My vision blurs a little. I lean on the counter to catch my breath. I suddenly feel hands wrapping around my arm.

“You have a high fever, Y/N. Let’s get you to bed.” He says, feeling the temperature of my body. I shake my head.

“No no. I’m fi—” I let out a cough from the itch in my throat. He sighs and without a word, swoops me up in one motion. I gasp. He carries me towards my bedroom.

“Bucky! Bucky put me down!” I try to yell out, but my coughs kept getting in the way. He lays me down in my bed gently before putting the covers over me. He places his flesh hand over my forehead.

“About 103. That is quite high, Y/N.” He says before disappearing out the door. I hear him opening several cabinets in the bathroom followed by running water. He comes back with a small damp towel. He places it over my forehead, pressing his wet hands against my neck.

“Why didn’t you tell me you have a fever?” He asks worriedly.

You showed up unannounced after kissing me last night and you expect me to tell you that I have a damn fever the next morning, thinking that I have no guilt whatsoever? How are you here and not with your wife? Then I’m still pissed at you for keeping me in the dark for over a month. Suddenly, when I try to talk to you, you tell me to go home. After that you…

I rant inside my own mind, but my voice isn’t anywhere to be found.

“I’ll be back. Get some rest.” He says.

I don’t know what to make of this. He doesn’t act like anything had happened last night between us. Did he forget about the kiss? As he disappears out the door, I close my eyes. There’s a little hint of lavender scent in the room.

• • •

“Y/N?”

I hear his voice calling out for me. I flutter my eyes open to find Bucky back. What time is it? I can smell something that is quite nice too.

He supports my back to help me sit up. I rest myself against the headboard of my bed with a pillow on my back. Oh the splitting headache. Is this what Bucky felt during those times he gets them?

“Eat then drink this medicine.” I look at the bowl of porridge on a tray. Bucky places it on my lap carefully. I raise an eyebrow before looking at him.

“Did you make this?” I ask him.

He blushes a little before running his finger through his hair. There were little stains on his shirt. I manage a weak smile. That’s very sweet of him to cook for me. But, I can only imagine what kind of mess he left in that kitchen.

“I tried. I looked it up.” He says. I take the first sip of the porridge. A little too salty, but good nonetheless. I nod, liking the taste. He breathes out a sigh of relief. I take another spoon of the porridge, forcing the food down my itching throat. I wasn’t in the mood to eat, but Bucky didn’t leave until I was done.

“Oh yeah…” I say to him. He looks up at me.

“What did you need to see me for?” I ask, looking at him. He gives me a warm smile. I was surprised to see it.

“Later. Right now you aren’t well. You should get all the rest you need.” He says lovingly while running his hand down my hair.

I nod slowly agreeing him. Whatever he does need to discuss might give me another splitting headache anyways. But that tone. That tone was too sweet for me to process. It did made my heart flutter, but, why is he being so sweet to me?

After he gives me the medicine, he lays me back down on the bed. Before I knew it, I dozed off once again.

• • •

I had a rather odd dream.

I don’t know what time it was, but it felt as though it was getting dark. My arm is hanging off the bed. No, not hanging. Someone was holding it. Holding my hand in theirs. I feel something rough brushing over the palm of my hands. My thumb twitches a little at the sensation. Then I feel something warm and soft against my palm. It feels so familiar.

I don’t know what that was, but it made me feel so peaceful, so loved.

• • •

I woke up to the sound of a yell. It sounded like it came from the living room. I look at the time on my phone: Half past 2 in the morning. Damn. How long was I asleep? My strength had returned a little from the meal Bucky gave earlier. I force myself from the bed when I hear the yell again. It was a yell I’m all too familiar with.

My body shivers as soon as I step outside of my room. It is freezing cold in this house. I walk into the dark living room. Bucky is sleeping on my couch. No pillow, no blanket. How is he not cold? I look closer. I can see sweat dripping from his forehead. His shirt was practically soaked from all the sweat.

Bucky groans and tosses on the couch again. His sweat soaking into the cushions. He grips onto the fabric of the couch before letting out another painful yell. I lean down quickly and shake him awake.

“Bucky, wake up!” I call out weakly.

His eyelids flew open and his eyes were dilated again. He grabs my hand quickly before pinning me down tightly onto the couch. Ow. My head spins and I felt the contents of my stomach threatening to spill out.

“Y/N!” He yells out letting me go. I take a deep breath, calming myself down. That knocked the wind out of me since I was still a little sick. He leans over the couch a little, placing a hand on his forehead.

“Which dream was it?” I ask looking at him, still lying down on the couch. My eyeballs feel like they are spinning around so much. I take another deep breath and feel a little better. His gaze finds mine, but he says nothing.  

“I’m so sorry…” Out of nowhere, he picks me up, holding me against his chest with my head resting on his shoulder. My heart races. I can feel his cheek pressing against the top of my head. I froze. I couldn’t move if I wanted to.

“I’m so sorry.” He repeats as he takes me back to my room. I didn’t even answer. I just closed my eyes and leaned into him. It feels nice to be close to him like this again. He lays me back down before wetting the towel in the bowl of water.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says, still feeling guilty. I shake my head. He wrings the towel and fold it wide enough to cover my forehead.

“It’s ok, Bucky.” I say weakly.

“Get some sleep.” He says, brushing the wet strands of hair away from my forehead with his metal hand before putting the towel on it. Despite the nature of it, it felt gentle and warm against my skin. As he is about to leave, I grab onto his hand. He looks at me surprised.

“Sleep here.” I say simply with my eyes closed.

I don’t know what made me say that, but all I know is I don’t want him to sleep alone out there. Nor do I want to sleep alone in here. I can feel his eyes on me as his hand wraps around mine in return. He moves to sit down on the floor, still holding my hand.

“No.”

I pat to the space next to me. There’s more than enough space on my bed for him to sleep on. Even though my eyes were closed, I can feel the intensity of his stare towards me.

“Are you sure?” He asks with a gentle voice. His flesh hand gently brushes over my hair. I nod slowly, feeling myself drifting off a little. The bed shifts under his weight as he lays down next to me. His hand never losing that grip it had on my own hand.

I don’t know what happened after that. All I know is that I woke up the next morning to Bucky’s bare chest right in front of me. His arms are coiled around me while my arms were around him. He had nuzzled his face into the crown of my head. My heart beats fast at the sight before I quickly pull myself away from him. I sit on my bed to watch him still sleeping. His sweat soaked shirt thrown onto the floor.

I feel a lot better than yesterday. The headache is gone, but the sniffs and itchy throat are still there. I watch him shift around in the bed, sleeping rather peacefully. I cover my face in my hands as I press my back into the wall.

“Again, Y/N? With another woman’s husband? Are you serious?” I whisper to myself. Cursing at the fact that I am taking advantage of Bucky’s kindness.

I run my fingers through my greasy hair. I must look like a mess. I look back at his topless body. I blush at the sight of his chest. My eyes trail down to his pecs then back up to his metal arm. He’s so beautiful…

My breath caught in my throat. Wait, w…we didn’t do anything did we? Why was his shirt on the floor? I was still fully dressed, so that must mean we did nothing, right? But why was he half naked when it is snowing outside? Is he not cold? I am and I’m fully dressed.

I glance up to his face. His eyes are open and staring right into me.

“B…Bucky.” I say nervously and embarrassed. I hope he didn’t catch my wandering eyes just now. Bucky brushes through his hair with his fingers as he yawns.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, reaching over and holding his fingers against my neck to feel the warmth of it. My heart beats rapidly against my chest at the sensation of his skin against mine.

Just two nights ago, he had kissed that very same spot.

“A lot better. Thank you.” I answer.

“I’m sorry to trouble you.” He sits up while keeping his eyes on me.

“Next time tell me when you get sick.” He says seriously as he sits up on the bed in front of me. I blink confused. Seriously, I got it overnight, how was I supposed to tell you if you showed up first thing in the morning? Besides, how can you think I’m able to even face you after kissing you when I know you’re married?

“I can manage on my own. I’ll be fine.” I say. A brief hit of dejavu. Didn’t Bucky say what I just said that night as well? His eyes shift around in mine before he sighs out, irritated.

He tilts my face up with his metal hand before pressing his lips against mine. I widen my eyes and pull myself away, banging my head against the wall. Ach, back to the head spinning. What on Earth is he doing? I couldn’t even properly process what just happened.

“That sounded painful.” He says while rubbing the sore spot where I hit my head. I push him away from me, nearly knocking him off the bed.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask straightforward, looking at him. Tears clouding my eyes. I don’t want this. I don’t want him ruling over my emotions again. His expression doesn’t change; still that same concerned but caring face.

“Y/N, I—”

“You have a wife of your own. You can’t do this.” I say to him, reminding him of his marital status.

My feelings are mixed. Angry at him for kissing me. Happy that he finally did. Confused that he even did it. Angry at him because of what he said to me before. Happy that he is here with me. Angry at him for cheating on his wife. Confused if he even cares about his marriage. Hate that I am feeling sick. Just, everything.  

“This is wrong, Bucky. You can’t do this to Rosaline. I know your marriage isn’t that well, but that doesn’t mean you need to find someone else. You can still make it work.” I say, hurt at the fact that I may just be used by Bucky because of his loneliness. Bucky keeps his eyes fixed on me. Not saying anything.

“I want you to be happy. I know you love Rosaline and it could still work. She is very beautiful and kind and just the perfect one for you. Okay?” I say. I wait for him to say something, but he only responds by brushing the back of his fingers against my cheek. My heart flutters at the sensation of his skin against mine.

I take my pillow and press it against his bare chest to keep him away from me. He’s playing around with my emotions again. This is only hurting me more. He’s making it difficult for me to help him out with his marriage.

“Do you hear me, Bucky?? Don’t you want that happiness that you’ve always talked about?” I ask him. Nothing but silence from him. I couldn’t read the emotion on his face. A few moments of silence pass us.

“Are you done?” He asks. I blink several times, surprised at the response. He lets out a small sigh before lifting his metal hand up. The machine within his arm whirs as he spreads his fingers open. I look at it; there is no ring on his finger. I gasp.

“Bucky, wha—”

“Let me explain this time.” He says. I bite my lower lip, concern written all over my face. He takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over it. What kind of explanation he has for that missing ring, I’ll listen.

“Rosaline and I have divorced.” My heart drops. My face must have too but he put his metal hand up to keep me quiet.

“We have been talking about it. We were emotional and lost in memories of the past. We rushed into marriage without thinking. Unfortunately, her return also triggered new nightmares from when she was around. It was too much for me. For us.” He continues, looking down at my hand. Okay, that explains the worsening sleep pattern.  

“After that night I came over here, Rosaline decided to properly give me the help I need. But she also asked that we go through with divorce.” He says looking up at me. So, he does remember that night after all. I watch his eyes, trying to find any hint of sorrow in them.

“I agreed.” He adds. I open my mouth to protest but he cuts me off.

“She’s a psychologist after all. She knows that my heart doesn’t belong to her. And she also realizes that hers doesn’t belong to me either.”

“But, Bucky. Why? I thought you were really in love.” I say sadly. I was sad that Bucky’s one chance at happiness had slipped through his fingers.

“I wasn’t. We weren’t. We were desperate. You know that.” He says, eyes lingering around in mine. I look down, feeling a little sad that this was the aftermath of their marriage.

“Bucky… I’m so sorry.” I say genuinely. He shakes his head.

“So as we went through the divorce, she helped me out to seek the help of a specialist. The specialist put me through a treatment. It did helped me a lot. My memories improved. I started remembering more of other people that were in my life. My actual life. Not the life of Winter Soldier before. Though, his does still appear in my dreams.”

I watch him. I can see the joy in his expression. But I was still upset that they have divorced. Bucky had a chance to build a family with her, but it’s gone now. Though, he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. By the fact that he just lost that chance of having his own family. What didn’t he fight for her? Fight to keep their marriage going?

“But the problem was, my memories of you were still hazy. Remember that time in the park?” He asks while continuing to hold my hand. That pulled me out of my own thoughts. I nod slowly.

“My memories of you were confused with memories of Rosaline. I mixed them up myself and thought that it was Rosaline. So I asked her about it those dreams. She said, with a smile, that it was you, not her. She hears me call your name out in my sleep.” My heart races again in my chest.

“He calls out your name in his sleep. I hear them.”

Steve said the exact same thing the other night. Bucky gives me his smile. The sweet smile I had seen him give Rosaline during their wedding. How am I supposed to feel right now after hearing that? Really, what am I supposed to feel right now?? I’m so confused. I’ll just listen to his explanation first.

“After that, I focused more in getting the treatment for my mind. The specialist brought me over to Canada for about a month to continue with my treatment. I had only returned last week.” My eyes widen. The anger I caged within me finally bursting free again. I pull the pillow away from him, raising it before hitting him with it as hard as I could.  

“What?? You were in Canada and you didn’t tell me?? You left me in the dark for over a month without telling me that you were out for a treatment. Then come back and telling me to ‘go home’?!” I shout at him as I hit him hard with my pillow. Nope, I still didn’t forget the terrible things he said to me a couple of nights ago.

“Then you tell me to go home when I see you! How could you?? If you think I was going to forgive you so damn easily, you’re wrong! Do you know how hurt I was??” He shields himself a moment, letting me let my anger out on him as I hit him over and over again with the pillow. Fresh tears spilling out from my eyes.

“Let me explain.” He grabs the pillow and pulls me towards him with it.

My face inches away from his. The memory of our kiss flashes through my eyes again. I pull myself away from him and letting my back press into the wall. I cross my arms over my chest. I watch him, interested in listening to his excuse. I can still feel that burning anger in my chest.

“During my stay in Canada, I realized how horrible I had been to you. Memories of our fights, my jealousy and my outbursts. I was embarrassed. So embarrassed that I prepared myself for your rejection when I get home. I saw your messages and missed calls but I didn’t dare to pick it up. So I… pushed you away.”

I raise an eyebrow. That is the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.

“But when I heard that you and Steve were in Canada, I had to see you. I didn’t approach you though. I was still burdened with that guilt, but I’ve never felt so alive when I saw you again.” He says quietly. It clicked. The man I saw once during our visit. He was that man.

“You were the creepy guy??” I yell at him. He blinks before furrowing his brows.

“Creepy? I wasn’t being creepy.” He answers a little irritated. I clench my fist.

“Yes, you were! Standing from far to watch me. Then staring me down at the lobby. You were the one walking in that hallway that night, weren’t you??” I yell at him again. He sighs out.

“The first two I can understand. That one in the hallway I was going to see Steve, but you beat me to it. I was flying home that night and wanted to see him. I’m sorry.” He says with a little laugh. That got me quiet.

How am I supposed to feel? Angry? Sad? Why watch me from far like a stalker? If he ignored me for a month, then why did he want to see me if he doesn’t plan on saying anything to me? If he is pushing me away, why see me in the first place?

“Anyways, I stayed over at Tony’s when I got back and been thinking about what to do to make it up to you, but didn’t know how. I felt ashamed. When I came over yesterday, I was yet ready to face you. That’s why I reacted the way I did. I let my ego take over this time, clouding my memories of you.”

“So instead of talking to me about it, you decided that it is best that you just continue to push me away and not deal with it at all?” I say a little angry. He ignores that anger in my tone.

“After you remind me of our memories together, I was overwhelmed with them. Memories after memories. Feelings come flooding through my chest. It was so much and so sudden that I lost it. I couldn’t let you slip through my fingers again.” I blink. His eyes shift up to mine as his fingers laced around mine.

“Steve came and talked to me that night after you left. He whacked me on the head once for kissing you before encouraging me to make things right with you yesterday.” Bucky pulls my face close to his.

“But when I saw you got sick, I felt guilty. I decided to take care of you first before explaining everything to you.” He brushes his metal hand through my hair, holding on the ends of it gently. I remain quiet. What should I even say?

“He told me to not let things be anymore. To let it out instead of keeping everything hidden from you.” He chuckles. It made my heart jump hearing that. It was so gentle and sweet.

“Steve knew all along that my heart was with another. All this time the real love I’ve been feeling was for the one right in front of me that I had turned a blind eye to because of my unreliable memory. And he reminded me of her.” He continues.

My heart skips a beat and I widen my eyes. Wait, does that mean…?

“I kept my feelings in before because of how she always seem to like it being on her own. I didn’t want to lose that comfort I have with her. I was afraid that if I tell her how I felt, I might lose her.” My heart aches.

“Bucky, I—” He moves his hand down to mine, making sure that my eyes were locked tight in his gaze.

I didn’t realize that’s how Bucky had seen me. Is it because I always kept my own feelings hidden too? Kept my problems to myself and not sharing them with anyone? Have those traits of me the cause for Bucky to push his own feelings away just so he won’t lose me? I feel like such an idiot.

“But now, after all these time, I can’t keep it in anymore. I saw with my own eyes of what true love can do. And I don’t plan on losing her ever again.” His eyes locked in tight with mine. His hand runs through my hair once before he pulls me into for another kiss. Soft and quick. I freeze against his lips.

“Steve reminded me the things she had done for me. He reminded me of our conversations we would have about her in secret. The nights when I would always come to her instead of him for comfort. The times when I get jealous just watching her talk with other men than myself. The moments I would have with her that shows how much I really love her only to be taken away by her respect for my marriage.”

I couldn’t breathe.

“Her love had brought life back into my heart when I thought the ice had frozen it over. The love that caressed me when I wake up panting. The love’s gentle voice that soothed out my troubled heart. The warm glass of honey milk love would give to put me into a blissful sleep. The sincerity of love to keep me happy. The open heart love have to listen to my dreadful past…”

My head feels heavy.

He lifts my hand up to kiss the palm of it down to my wrist. My voice is stuck in my throat. My chest tightens. My stomach flutters.

“…and love’s hands that caringly held mine when I needed the comfort of knowing I was no longer alone.” I look at him.

I can feel my lips quivering at his words. My heart racing in my chest at the way his lips move against my skin.  

“The love that has never stopped even after I betrayed her. The love that is still willing to accept me even after I had been blind towards her. The love that I continue to rip apart without realizing, but still remains standing strong. The unconditional love that still wants my happiness instead of her own.”

“Bucky… stop, I…” I choke on my voice, but he silences me by kissing my lips tenderly. I hesitate for a moment, but return the kiss nonetheless. The other night’s kiss was passionate, but this one was filled with love. So warm, soft and kind. He pulls away from the kiss, eyes staring deep into mine.

“You are ‘her’, Y/N. The one who I truly love…” He says against my lips. Tears spill from my eyes as I pull back to look at him.

“I love you, Y/N.” He says it again.

My breath caught in my throat. I instantly feel the world coming to a stop. My voice is nowhere to be found and my mind is completely blank. I can feel myself melting down into the sheets. I couldn’t feel my heart beating anymore. Am I hearing that right?

He smiles at me, watching my blank reaction to his statement. I really didn’t know how to react. The pain, anger and sadness I felt before completely disappeared from within me.

“I’m sorry. I know it is all so sudden for you, but, I need to make that clear with you.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead. I lean myself against him, suddenly feeling tired from it all. My mind remains empty.

He holds me tightly against him, burying his face in my hair. I take a deep breath, trying to get my thoughts back so I can respond to him. But what kind of response is appropriate at this time? After he said all of those? Should I apologize for being angry at him all these time? Should I stay angry at him for not being straightforward? Should I—

“I love you too, Bucky…” I answer without finishing my own thought.

It was what I was feeling. The love beating inside of my chest was real. The one I had tried so hard to forget. All those time I had fought to keep our friendship alive weren’t in vain after all. I never expected him to return my feelings. Being friends with him was good enough.

But now that he finally returned my feelings, why should I push it away? My conservative nature had intimidated Bucky enough to keep his feelings quiet. My humbleness and quiet nature had been the reason why I choose not to tell him my own feelings. We were both idiots in this case.

I can feel Bucky’s body stiffens just before he buries his face into my shoulder. I let out a laugh. Bucky pulls himself away from me to look at me. I was crying and laughing at the same time. To think that all of these heartbreaks, all of these fights and all of these problems would have easily been avoided if either of us had the guts to tell the other how we feel in the first place.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” He asks worriedly. Of course. From sweet and loving to crazy laughing. I wipe my tears away before shoving him playfully.

“It took you four years, one marriage, a thousand fights and one fever to make you realize of what true love is?” I ask teasingly, knowing well enough that it isn’t true.

“You’re 104, for goodness sakes. I thought you’d know better.”

He manages a smile, holding my hands in his again. I squeeze it gently, the same way I would to remind him of his no longer present loneliness.

“No matter how long you live, it takes the right time and person to show you what true love really means. Some never find them either. I’m just lucky enough to live this long to see it with my own eyes. And to feel it as well.”

I run my thumb above his gently.

“Not true. You know true love with Steve as well.” He raises an eyebrow.

“Of course. But our bond is brotherhood. Different kind of love.” I smile at him before kissing his cheeks.

“Yes, it is. But you are lucky to see true love twice.” I say smiling.

He pulls me up into his embrace, holding me tightly against him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, feeling the love beating inside my heart. A love that had shattered so many times yet remains within no matter what. A love that I never thought would be returned but now that it finally did, it felt more wonderful than what I could have ever imagined.

A love that sparked over a warm glass of milk and honey.

★ ★ ★

A/N: So cute. So cute. So cute! I love this chapter so much. I enjoyed writing it and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Thank you so much for all the likes, reblogs and comments from my previous posts. Reading the comments made my day so much. I didn’t ignore them, I’m just not sure how to reply on my posts, but if you don’t mind me messaging my responses to your comments, then I’ll start doing that for my future stories. I really appreciate you guys reading and enjoying my stories. Makes me so happy. 

Thank you so much for reading! Stay tuned. There will be two more chapters after this! Much love. <3 

Next chapter coming soon!

P/S: If you’d like to be tagged in the next chapter, message me and let me know!

Tag(s): @ipaintmelodies  @goldwanderer  @hairdye-enthusiast  @bexboo616  @chipilerendi  @typical0001  @damnbuckyishot   @mrsnegan25  @minstrel-axx  @axelinchen   @find-the-new-adventure-barryc  @38leticia  @bluewaves997  @buckybarnesbestbabe  @panda-reads-stuff

[iamastrongchristian-blog]

The Promises and Blessings for Obedience

How Can I Be Blessed?

There are three main ways by which a blessing can come to your life. The first is by being born into a blessed family. Blessings tend to flow through family lines. Another way you can receive a blessing is by being associated with a blessed person. The third way you can be blessed is by being obedient to God.

Blessings that follow obedience are more predictable and determinable by you. You can cause certain blessings to come into your life by being obedient to God. In this chapter, I want you to learn, to understand and to believe in the power of obedience to the Word of God. All through the Bible, all those who obeyed God were blessed super-abundantly because of their obedience. Obedience is the key to the blessings of God!

Seven Direct Promises for Obedience

1. You will become a peculiar treasure through obedience.

Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall BE A PECULIAR TREASURE unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine:

Exodus 19:5

2. It will be well with you and your children because of your obedience.

O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that IT MIGHT BE WELL WITH THEM, and with their children for ever!

Deuteronomy 5:29

3. Your days will be lengthened through obedience to the Holy Spirit.

And if thou wilt walk in my ways, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as thy father David did walk, then I will LENGTHEN THY DAYS.

1 Kings 3:14

4. You will be blessed in all your undertakings through obedience.

But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be BLESSED IN HIS DEED.

James 1:25

5. You will have access to the tree of life because of your obedience.

Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.

Revelation 22:14

6. You will be blessed with good health because of your obedience.

And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put NONE OF THESE DISEASES UPON THEE, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

Exodus 15:26

7. You will be blessed with increase because of your obedience.

In that I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgments, that you may LIVE AND MULTIPLY, and that the LORD your God may bless you in the land where you are entering to possess it.

Deuteronomy 30:16 (NASB)

Four Direct Blessings for Obedience

1. Obeying the voice of God gives rise to the blessing of a worldwide and everlasting ministry.

Not everyone has a worldwide ministry. Some people have ministries to their communities. Others have ministries to their nations.

Others have ministries that go to all the nations of the world. Perhaps God will give you a worldwide ministry if you obey him in the way Abraham did.

Now THE LORD HAD SAID UNTO ABRAM, GET THEE OUT OF THY COUNTRY, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee: and I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:

And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.

SO ABRAM DEPARTED, AS THE LORD HAD SPOKEN UNTO HIM;

Genesis 12:1-4

And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;

BECAUSE THAT ABRAHAM OBEYED MY VOICE, AND KEPT MY CHARGE, MY COMMANDMENTS, MY STATUTES, AND MY LAWS.

Genesis 26:4-5

2. Obeying the voice of God gives rise to the blessing of greatness.

Perhaps you have desired to prosper and perhaps you have done many things to make yourself great. But the only person who can really make you great is the Lord.

Do not be envious of people who become great through their obedience to God. Do not pity people who are obeying God. Do not feel sorry for those who have given their lives for the gospel. Their obedience will lead to greatness! Isaac obeyed the Lord and became a great man.

And there was a famine in the land, beside the first famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went unto Abimelech king of the Philistines unto Gerar.

And the Lord appeared unto him, and said, Go not down into Egypt; dwell in the land which I shall tell thee of:

Sojourn in this land, and I will be with thee, and will bless thee; for unto thee, and unto thy seed, I will give all these countries, and I will perform the oath which I sware unto Abraham thy father;

And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;

Genesis 26:1-4

Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundredfold: and the Lord blessed him

And THE MAN WAXED GREAT, AND WENT FORWARD, AND GREW UNTIL HE BECAME VERY GREAT: for he had possession of flocks, and possessions of herds, and great store of servants: and the Philistines envied him.

Genesis 26:12-14

3. Obeying the voice of God releases the blessings of long life, riches and honour.

The Scriptures show how David endeavoured to obey the Lord as much as he could. He was human and he failed in the matter of Uriah the Hittite. But he did ALL THE WILL of God and received the blessings of the Lord.

David ended up full of riches, full of honour! Unfortunately, this cannot be said about the end of everybody. Many of us end up disgraced, poverty-stricken and with shortened lives. Mercy! May God give us the grace to pursue obedience to His perfect will so that our end will be like the end of David – full of days, riches and honour.

And he walked in all the sins of his father, which he had done before him: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father.

Nevertheless for David’s sake did the Lord his God give him a lamp in Jerusalem, to set up his son after him, and to establish Jerusalem:

Because DAVID DID THAT WHICH WAS RIGHT IN THE EYES OF THE LORD, AND TURNED NOT ASIDE FROM ANY THING THAT HE COMMANDED HIM ALL THE DAYS OF HIS LIFE, SAVE ONLY IN THE MATTER OF URIAH THE HITTITE.

1 Kings 15:3-5

After these things He gave them judges until Samuel the prophet.

“Then they asked for a king, and God gave them Saul the son of Kish, a man of the tribe of Benjamin, for forty years.

“After He had removed him, He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, “I HAVE FOUND DAVID the son of Jesse, A MAN AFTER MY HEART, WHO WILL DO ALL MY WILL.

Acts 13:20-22 (NASB)

And he died in a good old age, FULL OF DAYS, RICHES, AND HONOUR: and Solomon his son reigned in his stead.

1 Chronicles 29:28

4. Obeying the voice of God releases the blessing of the presence of God.

Jesus answered and said unto him, IF A MAN LOVE ME, HE WILL KEEP MY WORDS: and my Father will love him, and WE WILL COME UNTO HIM, AND MAKE OUR ABODE WITH HIM.

John 14:23

Perhaps, this is the greatest blessing of obedience – the presence of God. Indeed, great blessings are promised to the disciples who obey the voice of Jesus. As you watch and listen to different preachers, you will notice a difference in doctrine. But you will also realise a difference in the extent to which they have the presence of God. Watch out for it and you will surely notice it if you are sensitive to the Spirit.

Jesus said: “We will come to him and make our abode with him!” This is a description of God’s presence being manifest with the disciples. God is everywhere. We know He is omnipotent. So when Jesus says, “we will come to him and make our abode with him”, He speaks of a greater presence of the Father and of the Son. Jesus promises to come and dwell in you and with you if you obey Him: this is the promise of the presence of God.

There is a presence and an aura around people who are obeying God. This presence and this aura is not found around people who are not obeying God’s voice.

People may preach the Word of God and have good doctrines but there is a certain presence of God that needs to be there! Do you not want to have the presence of God in your life and ministry? Learn to obey the voice of God even if it doesn’t make sense.

Obey Him because obeying Him brings the presence of God into what you are doing!

by Dag Heward-Mills