#the cardinal's bride

[ramblingoak]

Little Thief

Secondo x Female Reader

A little yeehaw!Secondo story for my dearest friendo @kissingghouls. Happy Birthday to my favorite haunted painting! I hope you have the most amazing day because you deserve only amazing things 💙 (special thank you to @tasty-ribz for the perfect Secondo art)

Warnings: gun violence, smut, nsfw 18+ only, mdni, 5,700 words, this does have a connection to The Cardinal's Bride universe but you can enjoy this just fine on its own! (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)

Coming here was a mistake.

You jumped over the bar as the bullets started flying, ducking down and throwing an arm over your head when the liquor bottles began shattering above you.  The Ministry was a big mark, way bigger than you had ever hit before, and you knew, you knew that it was going to be risky.  You just hadn’t expected this to happen.  Although at least the gunfight wasn’t your fault.

This time.

A body crashed down next to you, lifeless and still.  With a grunt you turned it over to search for their gun.  It was still in its holster so you yanked it out, pausing to shove your hand into their back pocket and take their wallet too.  It’s not like they were gonna need either anyway.  You rolled onto your knees, carefully putting your hands at the edge of the bartop to take a peek over.  

“Well, shit.”

Chaos was still reigning over the casino floor but fortunately now it was mostly fist fights.  The Ghouls that worked here had made quick work of most of those that had started shooting.  You could see a small pile of bodies forming already.  The two big Ghouls that were working the door that night easily lugging the men around.  They were distracted enough you glanced towards the door, knowing that you needed to get out of there soon.  Especially before any deputies arrived.  

Lowering yourself back down you started crawling towards the door, keeping behind the bar and trying to avoid the broken glass.  Tonight had been such a damn waste.  You should have just skipped the town altogether.  This is what happened when you got cocky but damn, you had gotten tired of doing small jobs.  Stealing from a big casino, from The Ministry of all places, would have been perfect.  And it would have given you enough money to have a little breathing room before your next job.

Oh well, you had gotten a decent enough amount from cheating at cards.  It was enough to get you a room in the next town over for a few weeks at least.  You reached the end of the bar and started to pull yourself up for one last look.  Unfortunately you weren’t met with a view of the casino floor like you expected.  Instead you ended up face to face with the man that ran The Ministry, a man you had heard enough about to know you should avoid him at all costs.

“Going somewhere?”  Secondo’s tone was bored, his eyes raking over you briefly before he turned his attention to the glass of whiskey in his hand.  “That’s a shame, I was hoping you’d stay a little longer.”

“Oh?  Why is that?”

You knew you should’ve just kept your mouth shut and made a run for the door.  The Ghouls were still occupied enough sorting through who needed to be kicked or carried out that you doubted any of them would try to stop you.  The chance of this man trying to stop you though had you frozen in place.

“I was curious how much more of my money you would steal.”

Fuck.  You glanced towards the door but Secondo was smirking when you looked back so you stayed put.  There was no way you’d make it now.  He might be surrounded by his Ghouls but you’d heard enough stories about Papa Secondo to have a healthy amount of fear of him.  Enough to realize you definitely shouldn’t have come here.  You took a fortifying breath and squared your shoulders while you stared him down.

Time to see if you could talk yourself out of trouble.

“I didn’t steal anything.”

“Come now, I’m not an idiot.”  He took a sip of his drink before continuing,  “And despite you thinking you could get away with stealing from me I don’t think you’re one either.”

“A compliment from Papa?  Sounds like something I should brag about.”  When those odd eyes of his flashed to yours you reached out and grabbed the drink from his hands, knocking back a mouthful before setting it down.  “Kind of like how I’d brag about stealing from you.  You know, if I had done that.”

“Are you sure?  Because I’ve been watching you most of the night.”  His voice had dropped an octave and he’d turned to give you his full attention.  “Ever since my associate Mist told me what you were up to.”

“Mist?”

“She’s at the end of the bar now.  Watching.”  You looked down to see a woman with piercing blue eyes leaning against the bar.  When you turned back to Secondo he had leaned in close and his breath danced across your cheek with his next words.  “She thinks you will do something stupid.”

“The only stupid thing I did tonight was come here.”  He narrowed his eyes at your comment but you continued anyway,  “Your games are terrible and this whiskey is mostly water.”

You weren’t sure what you had been expecting him to do at your insults.  Threaten you maybe.  At worst try to grab you and then who knows what.  Mist certainly seemed the type to do whatever her boss told her to do.  But all Secondo did was laugh, the sound drew the attention of some of the other Ghouls but they got back to cleaning quickly.  

“Ma dài, bellezza?  Sei una terribile bugiarda.”

“What did you call me?”  Secondo’s only answer was to let his eyes wander over you again before taking another drink.  “Answer me.”

“A terrible liar.”  His smirk returned when he saw your face turning red.  “But I suppose I could also call you a terrible thief.”

“A lot of words just to call me a liar.”

“Unfortunately the other ones will cost you.”  

Secondo stepped around the end of the bar to stand beside you.  To have him so close was…intoxicating was the only word you could think of.  Despite the danger he posed you there was no denying that he was an extremely handsome man.  His presence alone commanded attention, respect and a healthy dose of fear if you had wronged him.  But your heart wasn’t racing just because you had a pocketful of money you’d stolen from him.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much to give you.”  You teasingly patted the sides of your jacket, taking a moment to flash it open so he could see the gun holstered at your hip.  “So how about we call it a night before anything else happens.”

“What could happen?”  He reached over to one of the few unbroken bottles along the wall and poured himself another drink.  “Would you continue to cheat at cards?”

“I didn’t fucking cheat.”

“Or perhaps there’s a pair of loaded dice hidden in a pocket somewhere.”  Secondo took a step closer, pinning you against the bar.  “Would you let me look, ladruncola?”

It irritated you how badly you wanted to say ‘yes’ but honestly the longer he looked at you like that the more you wanted him to.  Up close he smelled so good, he looked good too.  His clothes were immaculate, down to the green handkerchief peeking out of his vest pocket.  There wasn’t any harm in enjoying his company for the evening, right?

Especially if it got you out of trouble.

“As long as you search me in your room and not at the bar.”  You found yourself returning his pleased smile but a flash of something reflecting in the glass of the bottle behind him had your chest seizing.  One hand went for your gun while your other grabbed ahold of Secondo’s vest and you shoved him to the side with all your might.  “Get down!”

Secondo cursed as the bottle shattered and you ducked to the side as you turned with your gun raised.  A few tables from the bar one of the men that started the fight was standing with his own gun pointed your way.  Secondo’s way.  He snarled and moved to point it at you but he was too late, you let out two shots that hit him in the chest and had his body jerking backwards.  The nearest Ghoul kicked the gun out of his hand but you knew he wouldn’t be getting up from that.

“Well, well.”  You turned to look down at Secondo, relieved to see him unhurt but also smirking at you.  Even if it was infuriating.  “Grazie, ladruncola.”

“What does that mean?”  Secondo took your offered hand, rising from the floor elegantly.  He nodded towards Mist when she wandered over and she quickly turned away to go to the other Ghouls.  When you tried to pull your hand back he held it tighter, his thumb sweeping across your knuckles.  “I’m waiting.”

“Grazie means ‘thank you’.  And I’ll say it again, ladruncola.”  He brought your hand up to his mouth, pressing a lingering kiss to the back.  The hairs of his mustache tickled your skin softly when he repeated himself.  “Grazie.”

“You’re welcome,”  Your knuckles received kisses next followed by him turning your hand over to kiss your palm.  “But I meant the other word.”

“I’d rather tell you after I get you in my room.”  

You sighed, knowing you probably should just leave.  After saving him he probably would let you without a fuss too.  There was just something about him that had you taking a step closer to straighten the handkerchief in his vest.  You rested your hand on his chest and moved it up towards his shoulder while you leaned in close.

“As long as you promise to make it worth my while.”  He was grinning when you pulled away, his mismatched eyes twinkling in a way you didn’t think you’d be able to forget.  “Papa.”

“That’s a challenge I’m happy to accept.”

“How many weapons do you have?”

Secondo’s voice was equally incredulous and impressed.  You gave him a smirk of your own as you placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back towards his bed.  He went willingly, his eyes dropping down to your hands as you made quick work of pulling the two knives he hadn’t found out of their hiding places.

“I like to be prepared.”  When he sat back on the bed you followed, placing a knee on either side of his legs and resting your hands on his shoulders.  “Surely you can appreciate that, hmm?”

“I can.”  He took your mouth in a dizzying kiss, stealing your breath while his hands began to work on the buttons of your pants.  You broke away with a gasp when he slid one hand inside, right in between your legs where you were already hot and wet.  He wrapped his other arm around your waist to pull you closer, trailing kisses from the corner of your mouth all the way to your ear.  “I’ll appreciate all of you tonight.”

“I think I can promise the same.”  You trailed your hands down to the buttons of his vest, going for his shirt buttons when you were done.  His chest was covered with dark hair, patches of silver mixed in.  He nearly purred like a cat when you ran your fingers through it.  While you explored his chest his own hands began to wander but you were too distracted to stop him from slipping his fingers into the hidden pocket in your shirt.  “Wait!”

He pulled away, your loaded dice held triumphantly in his hand.  You had a sudden jolt of fear that perhaps this was all a game to him and he only brought you up here to expose why you were even at The Ministry.  Neither of you were moving, your eyes stuck on his face while he began to roll the dice between his thumb and forefinger.

“These are certainly interesting, aren’t they?”  He made a loose fist and shook them, his eyes moving to your face while they rattled around.  There wasn’t any anger there, if anything he seemed amused but you still couldn’t bring yourself to move.  With a quick movement he flicked the dice on the floor, not looking away as they landed.  “Tell me what numbers came up.”

You looked down, your legs starting to shake from where they still straddled him and your heart racing.  He placed both his hands on your waist while you leaned over as far as you dared, trying to make a show of looking even though you knew what numbers would be facing up.  He did too, the bastard.

“Lucky you, a pair of sixes.”

He smirked, tugging you towards him again abruptly.  You fell against his chest with a grunt, your mouth hovering right over his.  He flashed you a smile before responding, his words making your heart race for an entirely different reason.

“Lucky me indeed.”  His eyes were locked on yours for a few heartbeats before he glanced down at your lips.  “If you would like to leave I wouldn’t stop you.”  He moved so his lips were hovering over your ear.  “But I keep the money and the dice.”

“I don’t know, I feel like I won that money fair and square.”  His chest rumbled with laughter, his hands tightening around your waist.  “And I don’t want to leave.”

“Bene.  Because I have been wanting to kiss you ever since you insulted my whiskey.”

A retort was on the tip of your tongue, it did taste like it was watered down, but talking was impossible when he kissed you.  It was as demanding as the man itself.  You wrapped your arms tighter around his neck while one of his hands gripped your head, tilting it just so to make the angle perfect.  He tasted like whiskey and smoke, the combination intoxicating.

The need to feel more of him became too much, your hands pushing and pulling at his shirt and vest to get it off.  With a quick movement he spun you so you were on your back on his bed, staring up at him while he took them off himself.  Your eyes moved over his chest appreciatively, enjoying how the muscles of his arms moved under his skin.  It was obvious he had done more than run a casino in his life.  Those muscles were evidence of years working with guns and horses.

“See something you like?”

“Take the pants off and I’ll let you know.”  His sudden laughter had you smiling and you lifted a foot up to rest on his thigh.  “Unless you want my help?”

“I wouldn’t dream of denying you the opportunity.” 

In a flash you were kneeling before him on the bed, your fingers eagerly working on the fastenings of his pants.  His gun belt was already on the floor next to yours and your small pile of knives.  It had surprised you he didn’t want a weapon close but you also had the sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t need any sort of weapon to take care of you if necessary.  The thought should scare you, being here in his room should scare you, but all you could think of was how he was making your blood race through your veins.

And how the sight of his cock was making your mouth water.

Thick and long, it jutted out from the patch of hair between his legs proudly.  There was already a drop of liquid at the tip and you leaned in to lick it off, grinning when it twitched.  You locked eyes with him as you wrapped your lips around the tip, applying pressure along the bottom with your tongue.  You began to move further down but he rested his hands on the side of your head, stopping your momentum.

“Ah ah, I have a different plan.”  You pulled back, licking your lips and watching him as he smiled down at you.  “Would you let me taste you, ladruncola?”

“If you insist.”

The visual of Secondo dropping to his knees in front of you wasn’t one you would forget any time soon.  His fingers were steady as they undid your clothes, far steadier than yours were right now.  All you had the strength to do was watch, watch as he exposed more and more of you to his strange eyes.  It felt a little unfair for him to still be wearing his pants as he pulled off yours but as he looked at your core you couldn’t find the words to say anything about it.

“Bellissima.”  You had no idea what it meant but the word, the worshipful way he said it made your cheeks heat up.  He laid his hands on the inside of your thighs and gently push them wider.  As his face got closer to where you were wet for him you could see his nose twitch as he took deep breaths and you were not going to survive this.  Secondo closed his eyes and you saw his lips moving briefly before he caught your gaze.  “Nema.”

His mouth covered you in the next moment, his hands moving behind you to grip your ass and hold you still.  It was a good thing he did because while he licked and sucked at your flesh you were twitching and shaking.  The sensations were overwhelming and you couldn’t decide whether you wanted to be closer or get away from it.  His nose pressed insistently against your clit while he worked his tongue around your opening, flicking and swiping it over and over.  When he suddenly pushed it inside you couldn’t help but cry out, your hand letting go of the blanket in its grip and instead gripping his hair.

“Secondo, f-fu–ah!”

The man growled against you, gripping you tighter while he ate you out.  Words kept bubbling in your throat but they just turned into whimpers.  You weren’t even sure what you were trying to say, perhaps your own words of worship to the man himself.  The rumors you had always heard about the man and his family briefly flashed in your mind.  Images of the devil and upside down crosses but they were banished as soon as he slid two thick fingers into you and moved his mouth to your clit.

If this was how they worshipped the devil you’d sign up in a second.

Your peak was coming fast, wave after wave of pleasure making spots appear in your vision.  Secondo didn’t let up, he just fucked you faster with his fingers.  Two soon becoming three all while he sucked on your clit.  Your nails kept digging harder and harder into his scalp but it didn’t seem to phase him.  If anything it only spurred him on and when he curled his fingers to rub against your inner walls you felt yourself fall over a cliff, your orgasm rushing to meet you at the bottom.

“Are you awake?”  You had no idea how long you had been laying there panting but his deep voice finally dragged you back from where you’d been drifting.  You blinked up at him, grinning when you saw how out of sorts his mustache was.  “Something amuse you?”

“I should steal from casinos more often.”  Making this man laugh was like a drug and you did your best to commit the sight and sound to memory.  It wasn’t just his mustache that was a mess, his hair was tussled and twisted from your fingers too.  You couldn’t stop yourself from reaching up and smoothing it out, smiling softly when his eyes closed and he pressed into your hands.  “You’re like a cat.”

“Un gatto?”  He raised an eyebrow when you grinned.  “I’ve had worse nicknames.”

“Oh?  Like Papa?”

“Papa was a title, my title.  Long ago.”  You continued to rub along his scalp, waiting to see if he said anything else.  “I went by a different one before that, before I was called back to my family.”

“What were you doing then?”

Secondo flashed you a small smile as began to pat your legs, nodding his head towards the headboard.  You obediently scooted back, not being able to stop your eyes from falling to his cock.  It had softened a bit but still looked eager for attention.  He followed you further onto the bed, rubbing his hands up your legs until they were encouraging your thighs apart once more.

“About the same thing you’re doing now.”  When you raised an eyebrow and gave him a once over he chuckled.  “The same thing you were doing earlier.  Stealing.”

“I wasn–”

“But I was much, much better at it, ladruncola.”

“Either fuck me or shut up.”

He smirked as he looked down at you, one hand going to his cock and beginning to stroke it.  You wiggled a bit under the attention, the tension building in you again just by watching him pleasure himself.  Well, two could play at that game.  With a smirk of your own you began to touch yourself, sliding your fingers down your wet flesh and easily pressing two inside. 

His eyes quickly locked onto your fingers, watching intensely as you moved them in and out.  You added a third finger but it wasn’t even close to how it felt with his in you.  With a frustrated growl you said his name and he immediately looked back up to your face.  There was an unreadable look there, one you hadn’t seen yet that night.  For a moment you were worried he was going to move away and tell you to leave but instead he finally moved closer.  He grabbed your hand and tugged it away so he could line his cock up.

“Bone Daddy.”  Your eyes flashed up to his to see him grinning.  “That’s what they called me.”

You repeated the name, trying it out on your tongue.  While he teased your opening with the head of his cock you thought back to those rumors you had heard of the Emeritus family.  An image of Secondo with a painted face resembling a skull flashed in your mind and your gasp had little to do with how his cock was beginning to stretch you.  He could be terrifying now you could barely comprehend how terrifying he would have been looking like that.

Terrifying and beautiful.

When he was all the way inside of you the name tumbled from your lips again.  You took a moment to trace your finger along his face, trying to imagine what the design of the paint looked like.  He let you go on for a few seconds before taking your hand in his and pressing it down next to your head.  If he hadn’t of been looking at you like he was, like you were something he cared about, you would have been concerned you overstepped.  Instead he lowered his head to kiss you, nipping at your lips until you opened up for his tongue.

You kissed him back, trying to match his intensity but you were getting desperate for him to move elsewhere.  He groaned into your mouth when you wrapped your legs around his waist and wiggled your hips.  After what felt like an eternity he finally pulled back, his lips as swollen as yours were.  You felt like you were going to lose your mind if he didn’t move, if he didn’t start fucking you right now.

“Secondo, please.”

“Ah, ladruncola.  You don’t need to beg.  I’ll take care of you.”  You bit your lip as he began to pull out, the drag of his thick length so good along your walls.  He paused with the head at your entrance and you were so close to screaming at him, especially when he looked down at you smugly.  “We’ll save the begging for later, eh?”

“Whatever you say Bone Daddy.”

You expected a response, another comment to continue your banter but instead he began to press back inside of you.  It was a slow and steady thrust, not giving you a moment to adjust as he pushed in all the way.  Your hands were scrabbling at the sheets by your head and your body trembled.  When your groins touched he didn’t pause, he just started to pull out immediately.

Secondo quickly had a rhythm going, a steady drive in and out of you with his cock.  All you could do was hang on, your legs still wrapped around him.  The bed creaked beneath you both, the headboard hitting the wall when he began to thrust harder.  He dropped down so he could kiss you, mimicking the movements of his cock with his tongue.  You bit and sucked at it, one of your hands letting go of the sheet to find its way back into his hair.

Both of you were moaning, gasping as the pleasure began to build.  You had to pull away from his mouth to suck in air and you buried your face in his neck while you did so.  He kissed along your scalp while one of his big hands cradled the back of your head.  It all suddenly felt so intimate, so much more than what it had started out as that you couldn’t help but imagine more of this.  More than a night and more than a frenzied coupling.

“Look at me, ladruncola.”  His fingers tightened just enough to get you to pull away, your head falling back onto the pillow.  His thrusts were more sure now, purposeful.  He slipped a hand down your body to touch you between your legs, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing it just right.  “I want to watch you.  I want to see your face.”

Fuck, it was too much but you couldn’t deny him.  You clung to him and panted as you hit your peak once again, your walls spasming around him.  He was the first to break eye contact, groaning and muttering in Italian when his cock began to kick and empty inside of you.  For a moment you imagined that you could feel it, feel his seed fill you up.  Your hips moved on their own accord then, rotating slightly to help him as he came down until he finally stopped and collapsed on top of you.

You weren’t sure if it had been minutes or hours but his weight was a comforting thing and you didn’t have any desire to move.  His softened cock had fallen out of you and while the feeling of his seed leaving was uncomfortable you hoped that he would take you again before the morning arrived.  You had no desire to leave this room.  The only thing you wanted was Secondo and you’d take as much of him as he was willing to give you.

With a grunt he finally pulled away, rolling onto his back next to you.  The cool night air drifted in through an open window across the room and distantly you could hear the tinkling keys of a piano.  You risked a glance over at him, letting your eyes linger when you saw his were closed.  The skull paint appeared in your mind again and you resolved to ask him later what it looked like.

“Would you like some watered down whiskey?”  

You snorted, nodding when he cracked open an eye to look at you.  He got up with a grunt and made his way over to a small bar against the wall.  When he headed back with two glasses in his hand you sat up and leaned back against the headboard.  The whiskey burned your tongue but it was good, much better than what you had at his bar. 

“So you save the good stuff for yourself.”

“And you.”  He tilted his head back and drained the rest of his glass, looking pleased when you did the same.  With the ease of a cat he got up and refilled them, grabbing something else before he made his way back over.  “I was hoping you would indulge me.”

“Haven’t I already been doing that?”

“Indeed, but I was hoping I could interest you in a game of poker.”  He placed his glass on a small table by the bed and you then noticed the item in his hand was a deck of cards.  They came to life in his hands as he began to shuffle them, doing moves and tricks that were impossible for your eyes to keep up with.  “Perhaps you’d like to make it interesting.”

“I’m listening.”

Secondo began to deal the cards out and you leaned over to set your glass next to his so you could gather yours up.  

“I would like an opportunity to win my money back.”  Your eyes flashed up to his in alarm but his expression hadn’t changed.  He had the same amused and almost fond look that he’d had since he had brought you into his room.  You looked back down at your cards and started to shuffle them slowly.  “But of course if I lose you stand to earn even more.  Except fairly this time.”

“I can play fair but you’re going to regret it.”

“Oh I don’t think so.  Either way I’ll still have you in my bed.  Won’t I, ladruncola?”

“You haven’t told me what that means yet.  Don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

“Another thing you can win then.  I will translate that and more if you beat me.”

“Prepare to lose, Papa.”

Secondo laughed before taking a drink and then leaning in to kiss you.  The whiskey was fresh on his tongue and you sucked at it to get a better taste.  While the kiss deepened you thought about everything that had led you to this man’s bed.  About getting caught up in a gun fight and then getting caught by Secondo himself.

You thought about seeing that man raise his gun and how you hadn’t even blinked before shoving Secondo out of the way.  You thought of his presence and his words, how he had gotten you into his room even though he didn’t have to try very hard.  It was easy to imagine this man holding the attention of a congregation if those rumors were true.  You’d certainly follow him to more than just his bedroom.

When he pulled away you couldn’t help but pout and he nipped at your bottom lip before leaning back again.  He picked up his cards but his gaze was steady on you, those green and white eyes unwavering.  You began to fidget, shuffling your cards in slightly unsteady hands before you couldn’t take it any more.

“What?”

“I don’t think I’ll be losing at all tonight.”  

“What do you mean?”

He reached out for your hand, bringing it to his mouth, cards and all.  Gentle kisses were pressed over your knuckles before he let go.

“Either way I’m winning you, aren’t I?”

You had to bite your lips to stop yourself from saying something stupid.  Something stupid and sappy that you had no right to say.  But Secondo continued to watch you and his face was content, like he didn’t have a care in the world and just wanted to enjoy his time with you.  It was a feeling you shared so you stopped trying to hide it and let it show on your face.

“Me too.”

“Bene.  Well then, I’ll let you go first.”

As the game began and went on you couldn’t remember the last time you had this much fun.  Obviously the sex had been amazing and you hoped there would be more of it soon but spending time with Secondo like this felt amazing too.  You were able to draw some more stories out of him and in exchange you told him a few of yours.  Both of you showed off some scars and the actions that led to them.  

You got a description of what Bone Daddy looked like, skull paint and all.  He told you about the church he and his Ghouls belonged to.  Used to belong to.  There was definitely more of a story there but you weren’t going to press it.  As a thank you for him sharing something you could tell still pained him you shared a story that still pained you.  At that point the card game was forgotten, the cards falling to the floor when you both met in a heated kiss.

Later, as you both caught your breath, your skin sticky with sweat and other things, you felt something press against your back.  With a grunt you raised yourself on an elbow and reached a hand into the sheets to find the culprit.  You came back with a handful of cards and as you leaned over Secondo to toss them with the others on the floor you noticed something that had you freeze.

There were two ace of spades.

Secondo was laughing when you turned to glare at him, easily bringing a hand up to block the cards when you threw them his way.  You wanted to make a bigger deal of it but the problem was you recognized them as your own cards.  The bastard had grabbed your deck although when he slipped it out of your coat you had no idea.  He wrapped an arm around your waist and began to tug you close, chuckling when you let him with minimal protest.

“That’s quite the deck you have.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s too bad we didn’t finish the game I think I had the hand to beat.”

“Shut.  Up.”

“Ah, ladruncola.  Don’t be upset with me.”

“Tell me what ‘ladruncola’ means.”  When he didn’t speak you turned in his arms to stare him down.  “Tell me.”

“Little thief.”  He was kissing you again before you were able to curse at him.  It was really unfair how his kisses made you lose track of yourself.  It ended far too soon but he stayed close, tilting his head down so your foreheads rested together.  “But you’re my little thief, aren’t you?”

You kissed him again in answer, opening your mouth over his while you moved to straddle his lap.  There were certainly worse things he could call you.  And there were certainly worse things that could be happening right now.  This was infinitely better than spending the night in jail and if you were honest with yourself this was one of the best nights of your life.

You’d be his ladruncola as long as he would have you.

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[enjoy-my-swearing]

Howdy, partner ~

A little somethin' somethin' for @ramblingoak :>

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If you told me last year that I will be into satanic cowboys by the end of the next one, I wouldn't believe you. I'm so glad that I am tho 💜

[haelithra]

Watching westworld and legitimately all I can think about is @ramblingoak 's amazing western fic.

Every copia girlie needs to read it because it is so amazingly written the story is just ahhhhshdhdh (words have failed).

I will die on that hill! Read it.

[ghuleh-recs]

The Cardinal's Bride by RamblingOak

Cardinal Copia/Reader (Explicit, WIP)

A Romantic Adventure in the Old West: After being forced into a marriage with Mr. Saltarian by your father you are sent west to his estate in Nevada. Along the way you end up meeting one of the cowboys you have always fantasized about…

For my inaugural rec it's gotta be this one! I am having the time of my life following along as it releases. I’ll never do it justice with a simple rec so I won’t even try. First of all, the world building is a damned delight. The slow burn (but not too slow) is delectable. The characterization feels true to Cardi and his merry band of ghouls without taking you out of the Wild West setting. We got tropes here--tropes galore! A fake relationship you say? And there's only one bed?! Whatever will they do?!

Thank you @ramblingoak for allowing us to play cowboys and outlaws with our favorite satanic cardinal in such a delicious universe! You have us all waiting with bated breath for every update! Yeehaw.

Read and subscribe on AO3

[ramblingoak]

!!!!! THIS IS...I LOVE IT 😭  He’s so smug and handsome I wanna kick him but also smooch the life out of him.  I can’t believe you drew this for my little story 💙💙💙  Thank you so much!!  You’re so talented this is amazing I’m just gonna scream about this forever 😭😭😭

also @historian-crown I can neither confirm nor deny if he has kept Reader’s sketch...👀...we’ll have to wait and seeeeee

a lil cowboy copia inspired by @ramblingoak's fic The Cardinal's Bride. it's so goood.

[positivelyghastly]

Happy Birthday Oak!

It’s technically not @ramblingoak ‘s birthday yet but it’s the 6th here in Scotland so she’s getting Extra Birthday

Gun details under the cut

[ad-astra-per-aspera1976]

I’ve made multiples of this theme but this is my favorite version set to Cold by The Cure.

A vampire Copia stalks his unwilling victim through the forest and into the ministry to make her his immortal bride.

[leezlelatch]

(~'o')~ Appreciation Post (~'o')~

Have you read the entire collected works of @ramblingoak?

Described in the Ministry Times as a “tour de force,” Oak brings a level of class, creativity, and sexy old men to the academic circles of renown shitpost site Tumblr dot com, and famous literature repository AO3.

Her magnum opus epopus, The Cardinal’s Bride, is a dashing adventure of danger, romance, and a cowboy most alluring. Hike up your britches and head over to the nearest saloon. I guarantee you’ve never heard a tale like it. The Cardinal will have you wrangled in soon enough.

Oak will be accepting the Cowbell Prize later this year.

[ramblingoak]

I'm glad you caved XD. Thank you so much! I love him, he looks very good in his red shirt and suspenders. Very very good. Definitely including suspenders in future chapters because yes. Good idea.

I caved and drew Copia from @ramblingoak ‘s ‘The Cardinals Bride.’

[ramblingoak]

The Cardinal's Bride, Chapter 13: And You Can Hold Me

~~ Please visit The Outlaw Brides Masterpost to catch up and read more stories from this world ~~

Thank you to @tasty-ribz for the wanted poster, @ghuleh-recs for the collage, @gothdaddyissues for the dividers and @foxybouquet for the Italian help!  For some more amazing fanart check out: @missygoesmeow (1 / 2), @snail-shell2335  here, @vahvco here, @ghulehgwen here, @rabidghoul here, @nocterish here, @enjoy-my-swearing​ ( 1 / 2 ), @blacktie-whitenoise (1 /2), @z-xmyers (1/2/3/4), @foxybouquet ( 1 / 2 ), @delulluart here, _simpera_ on instagram and valkyrieinpink on twitter.  Also thank you to @kissingghouls for all her help and emotional support.

Cardinal Copia x Female Reader: A night of bliss, some Italian lessons and lots of love.

Warnings: descriptions of drowning during a nightmare but then it's very sappy and smutty, nsfw, 18+ only mdni, 3,800 words

He wasn’t here.

You had been glancing around the church almost constantly, each look becoming slightly more desperate than the last.  The only people you saw though were the guests in attendance.  Each face turned to look directly at you.  As you kept your eyes on one of Saltarian’s business partners his face seemed to contort and morph before you.  His smile grew wider and wider, his eyes darker and more menacing.  When you were able to finally look away you could see the same thing happening to every other person there.

He wasn’t coming.

The priest continued to drone on although none of his words were making sense.  It suddenly felt like you were under water, your movements slow as if you were drowning.  The only thing keeping you in place was the harsh grip of Saltarian’s hands.  His fingers felt like claws, the tips of his nails digging into your wrists.  He must have known that if he let go you would drift away, your dress billowing around you in the water as you sank and sank and sank.

He didn’t care.

They were yelling at you, their faces contorted now like the others.  You tried to yell back, to scream at them that you couldn’t hear what they were saying.  That you weren’t supposed to be here, that Copia and his Ghouls should have been here by now.  They should have swooped in and saved you and burned this place down.  Cruel words from Saltarian began to echo in your head.  He was telling you that you belonged to him now.  That Copia had changed his mind, that he wasn’t coming.

He changed his mind.

You opened your mouth, using all your strength to try and scream at him that he was wrong.  Still no sounds came out.  Your mouth just filled with water, your lungs burned for air.  He’d be here, he promised he’d be here.  When you looked at Saltarian again his eyes were red and black wings jutted out from his back.  He was laughing, they were all laughing and clapping and cheering.  

He didn’t love you.

Finally you were able to scream, bubbles erupting from your mouth as you shoved Saltarian away.  With desperate movements you tried clawing yourself to the surface.  The priest tried to grab you next, his hands tearing at your dress to keep you underwater but you kicked at him viciously.  More hands were on you then.  Hands taking hold of your feet and pulling you back down again.  The light above you, above the water was dimming.  You couldn’t scream any more but you still tried...  

“No!  No no no n–”

“Principessa!”  Copia’s voice had you jerking awake and gasping for air.  You panicked when you didn’t recognize anything around you, the darkness of the room reminding you of your nightmare immediately.  “Hey now, you’re safe.”

You clung to him, still trying to catch your breath.  He was holding you close, his hands soothing over your hair and back while he continued to reassure you.  Soft kisses were pressed along your cheeks and then onto your shoulder, each touch of his lips helping to pull you from the nightmare.  You pressed your face against his chest, right over his tattoo.  His chest hair tickled your skin but you didn’t move, you never wanted to move from this spot.

When your breathing finally slowed and your heart calmed down you were able to focus more on Copia.  Memories of the day before, of the night before, came rushing back and you could feel your cheeks heating up.  You became aware of your nakedness, of his nakedness, and you were suddenly afraid to move.  It wasn’t until you started to focus on the soft words he was murmuring into your hair that you finally got the courage to pull away.

“What are you saying?”

Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room so you could see his smile and his fond gaze.  He cupped your cheek, sweeping his thumb across the skin before he answered.

“I am praying.”  He leaned close, gently kissing your forehead and your nose before whispering for a moment in Italian.  When he was done he pulled away, a somewhat shy smile on his face.  “Asking Lucifer to watch over you.”

“Isn’t that your job?”  

He chuckled while rolling onto his back.  Copia’s arms were still wrapped around you so you ended up being pulled along, your body now pressed against his side.  He was warm, his skin surprisingly soft against yours.  His fingers started trailing up and down your arm, goosebumps appearing in their wake.

“I need all the help I can get.  You get into lots of trouble Principessa.”

“Excuse me?”  You stared up at him accusingly, annoyed to see that damn smirk on his face.  “In case you’ve forgotten all of this is your fault.” 

“All of it, eh?”  In a flash he was moving, tumbling you onto your back and hovering over you.  “Even this?”

He didn’t let you answer, instead dropping his head down to kiss you.  His mouth was demanding and persistent but you matched his movements.  Would you ever get tired of kissing him?  Of him holding you close and making you feel safe?  And after last night would you ever get tired of this?

His mustache tickled your neck when he trailed kisses down to your shoulder.  You buried your fingers in his hair and wrapped a leg around his waist.  The both of you moaned when his cock rubbed against you, the tip already wet.  

“Copia, I–oh.”  He had reached back to grasp your knee, pulling your leg away from his waist and then pressing it down onto the bed.  You whimpered when he moved away but the wild look on his face had you instantly silent, your breath panting as you waited for what he would do next.  “I want you.”

You didn’t really want to wait.

He gave you a bright grin before straightening up, his eyes slowly trailing down your body.  His hands were quick to follow, the rough calluses catching at the skin of your breasts.  Your nipples hardened when he rolled them between his fingers.  With an impatient noise you hooked a leg around his waist again, desperate for him to take you.

“Patience, Diavolessa.”  One hand continued to cup your breast while the other slid down your belly before moving to your side.  “Let me savor you.”

“Savor me later.”  

It was his turn to pant when you took his cock in hand, the both of you watching as it jumped under your touch.  He let out a string of Italian, you had no idea what the words meant but they sounded just as desperate as you felt.  With a whine he pulled away, his hands finding the inside of your thighs and parting them.  Copia’s eyes caught yours when he moved a hand up to your cunt, his fingers rubbing through the wet flesh there.  

“Così bisognoso, così bagnato.”  

You reached up behind you and grasped the metal of his headboard, your hips lifting off the bed when he pushed a finger inside.  He didn’t look away as he started pumping it in and out of you, soon adding a second and a third.  The wet sounds of them moving added to your panting, all of it echoing around you until the sensations crescendoed and you came around his fingers.  You couldn’t keep your eyes open, squeezing them shut as your breathing slowed.

He was still watching you when you finally opened them, his hand wet with your release moving up and down his cock.  A sudden flash of shyness moved through you but you didn’t look away, the tendrils of worry from your nightmare still there.  The fear that maybe this was all you would have, all you could have.  And that soon everything would come crashing down around you and you’d be alone.

“Hey now, come back to me.”  You took a trembling breath, furiously wiping at the few tears that had broken loose.  “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere I wanted to be.”  

Copia smiled and he looked so beautiful right then you wanted to cry some more.  The moonlight that snuck past his curtains caught on his eyes, on his smile and on the various scars that littered his chest and arms.  You looked lower and saw the knife wound from the story he had told you before.  A moment that felt like ages ago now.  

“Bene, because you only need to be here.  With me.”  As he spoke he shifted so he could run the tip of his cock over you, making both of you groan.  It caught at your entrance and your hips moved on their own accord to try to get him to move deeper.  “Forever, sÌ?” 

All you could do was nod because he chose that moment to start entering you, his thick length stretching you like his fingers never could.  You wrapped your legs around his waist trying to pull him closer and he obliged, pushing into you as far as he could go.  He flexed his hips, grinding against you and making you cry out.  It felt so good, so wonderful you knew you would never tire of it.  Of him.

“Copia…”  He looked up from where you were joined, his smile still firmly in place.  You reached up to smooth his hair back before tracing a finger down his forehead and to the tip of his nose.  His eyes crossed briefly as he followed it and when it went lower to trace across his mustache he moved quickly to nip at it, making you laugh.  “I love you.”

“What’s not to love?”  He chuckled when you scoffed and rolled your eyes but before you could retort he rested your foreheads together and whispered the words you would never tire of hearing, “I love you too.”

You kissed then, your tongues tangling briefly before he started to move his hips.  The slow drag of him pulling out was just as good as you remembered.  Copia was pressing back in soon enough, building up to a rhythm that had you both hanging on to each other.  Your hands slipped on his sweaty skin until you finally gripped one hand in his hair.  That had him letting out a desperate sound and he began to move faster, Italian falling from his lips onto your skin.

Each time he pulled out you flexed your legs to bring him back and he obliged with a snap of his hips.  It was so different from earlier but exactly what you both needed now.  You knew there would be more tender moments in the future, hopefully an endless amount of them.  But right now you just needed him to take you, to make you his again and again.

“F-fuck me, oh please Copia I–”

He let out a delirious laugh at your words, starting to move faster and bringing you closer to your peak once more.  One of his hands wandered down to where you were joined and you started seeing stars when he rubbed at you.  

“If you start talking like that I’ll never let you out of this bed.”  His movements became a little less coordinated and you were so close all he had to do was circle your clit with his thumb and you were gone, whimpering his name over and over as you came.  Copia followed soon after, his cock kicking inside of you, emptying inside of you.  With a wild sounding moan he dropped down, burying his face in the crook of your neck.  “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

You’d agree with him if you could speak so instead you just held onto him, cataloging how he felt inside and around you and falling more in love every moment.

“Capo.”  

Copia moved your finger out of the way and kissed the spot where you had pointed to on your forehead.  Your nose scrunched up like it usually did at the feel of his mustache tickling you.  

“Capo.”  He smiled when you repeated it, pulling your hand close to your mouth and nipping at your fingertip.  “Hey!”

“So bossy.”  His tongue peeked out to soothe the sting left by his teeth and then he let go, grinning when he saw you glaring at him.  “What’s next?”

“Here.”

He kissed where your finger had been, right at the tip of your nose.

“Naso.”  Another kiss before his eyes glanced lower to your lips and he was soon kissing you there, sucking your bottom lip between his and pulling away.  “Labbra.”

“Again.”

“Labb–”

“No, kiss me again.”  He tutted at you, leaning back quickly when you tried to initiate the kiss.  “Copia.”

“Ask me nicely.  In Italiano.”

“Per favore.”

Your reward was instant, his warm mouth moving against yours once more.  You nipped at his tongue when he slid it between your lips, smiling when he pulled back with a growl.

“Diavolessa.”  He raised an eyebrow when you just smiled smugly at him, sighing before moving to hover his lips over your cheek.  “Guancia.”  You obediently replied, smiling when he stopped to kiss your mouth again.  Copia moved lower then, dropping a series of kisses down the column of your throat.  “Collo.”

“Collo.”

He had already started moving again when you began to repeat him, open mouthed kisses lower and lower until he was between your breasts.  His hands came up to cup them and you sighed at the feeling, throwing your arms up behind your head to grip the pillow.

“Tetta.”  He nipped gently at the side of one, his teeth barely grazing the skin.  While he mouthed at the sides his thumbs started to rub your nipples, getting them to harden quickly.  His mouth moved up to cover one, sucking the tip into his mouth and flicking his tongue against it roughly before pulling off with a pop.  “Capezzolo.”

“C-capezz–oh yes, like that.”  

Copia was lapping at your nipple, lathing across it with his tongue and then just barely touching it with his teeth.  You dropped a hand to grip his head, scratching your nails across his scalp as he worshipped your flesh.  Too soon, far too soon he pulled away, his lips swollen and his hair wild from your fingers.

“Shall we keep going?”  

All you could do was nod and he smiled as he trailed kisses down your stomach.  He was murmuring as he went but you couldn’t catch any of the words.  Not until he flicked his tongue across your belly button causing you to shriek.

“Copia!”

“Ombelico.”  You glared at him, refusing to give in to a smile when he laughed.  With a shake of his head he moved lower, his eyes not leaving yours.  His smile grew when he skipped over your cunt, his breath barely tickling you there before he placed a sucking kiss to the inside of one of your thighs.  “Coscia.”

“Coscia.”  

He kept going, quickly touching your knee down to your ankle with his lips. 

“Ginocchio, caviglia…”

“You missed a spot.”  

Copia raised his head up from the top of your foot, giving you a questioning look.

“Did I?”  When you nodded he frowned, trying and failing to appear innocent.  “I don’t think I did.  I’ve been very thorough Principessa.”

“Quit kidding around.”  You yanked your foot away, prodding him in the shoulder with your toes when he didn’t move.  “Finish.”

When he stayed still you pushed him a little harder, laughing when he clutched at his shoulder and feigned being hurt.  He took a hold of your ankle again, kissing it once before sighing and shaking his head.

“You are so cruel to me.  Here I am, trying to impart knowledge on you and you kick me.”

“I barely touched you.  Besides, you're the cruel one!  Skipping over that.”

“Hmm, this?”  He was kissing his way up your leg, pausing at your knee with a raised eyebrow.  When you shook your head he frowned and looked your leg up and down.  “I’m not sure what I missed.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Un idiota?  Me?”  You nodded, refusing to laugh at him when he laid his head against your thigh and gave you a pathetic look.  “Show me what I missed and I’ll make it right.”

Your cheeks immediately flamed, which seemed silly considering you had been laying naked in his bed for hours now.  After taking a fortifying breath you widened your legs further, opening yourself up to him.  His eyes quickly went between your legs while his nostrils flared and his tongue snuck out to lick his lips.  Slowly, far too slowly, he ran his hand up your thigh until his fingers grazed your cunt.

“There.”

“Here?  Is this what I missed?”  Speech was impossible so you gave him a quick nod, gripping the sheets when he brought his face closer to you.  His tongue was warm against your clit when he circled it, flicking it just like he had done with your nipple.  “Clitoride.”

His lips closed around it and he sucked, his cheeks hollowing as he drew it into his mouth.  While he gave it attention the fingers of one hand brushed over your entrance and you cried out, gasping please, please, please over and over.  He pulled off your clit, shushing you while he kept tracing around your wet opening.

“C-Copia.  P-per favore…”

He didn’t say anything before his mouth closed over you and his tongue began to lap at your entrance roughly.  You threw a leg over his shoulder trying to open yourself up for him as much as you could.  His tongue was quickly inside of you, rubbing the inside of your walls and making you cry out as loudly as you dared.  While he licked inside of you his nose rubbed against your clit, the dual sensations working you to orgasm faster than you expected.  Right when you were on the edge Copia pulled away, his smile smug and infuriating.

“Fica.”

With that he lowered his head, his tongue finding its way back inside of you and your orgasm finding you not long after.

“What will we do in the morning?”  Your voice was barely over a whisper, like you were afraid to speak too loudly and break the spell you’d both been under since last night.  “Do we have to leave?”

“No.  Not yet at least.”  Copia’s voice was just as quiet, his eyes even closed as he spoke.  “But I’ll need to talk to Secondo.  See where we stand.”

“Do you think more men will be coming?”

“I don’t doubt it, Principessa.”  One hand rubbed soothingly up and down your back while the other cupped your chin.  “But we’re safe here for the moment.”

“Where would we even go?  If we left.”

“Hmm.  Probably Primo’s.”  

You hummed, laying your head on his chest when he let go of your chin.  He had barely spoken about his eldest brother at all so you had no idea what to expect.  You still weren’t sure what to expect from the other two brothers, especially after their actions to try and send you away.  

“And after that?”  Copia tensed beside you and you immediately regretted asking but the shadow of your nightmare was still fresh.  “Will I…will I still have to go to Saltarian?”

“I don’t know.”  You squeezed your eyes shut at his answer, hating how scared it made you.  Copia murmured your name but you stayed still and quiet, not trusting yourself to speak.  With a grunt he turned onto his side making it impossible to avoid meeting his eyes.  “I’m not sure I’ll be able to let you out of my sight again.”

“Then don’t.”

“Don’t think about it, just think about this.”  

He kissed you then and you could feel the emotion he was pouring into it.  They were emotions you returned, eagerly kissing him back and sighing into his mouth when one of his legs slipped between yours.  Copia kept moving it higher until it was pressed against you and it was impossible not to start moving your hips.  You broke away from the kiss with a gasp when the fingers of one of his hands found your clit, knowing exactly how to touch you to make you wet.

“Copia…”

“That’s it, Principessa.  Come for me, I want to watch.”

It didn’t take long with his sweet words continuing next to you.  He lowered his head to suckle at your breasts and it was enough to have you coming once more, a broken whimper leaving you as you ground against his fingers and his thigh, coming all over both.  You watched as he started to touch himself, his hand moving quickly and you covered his hand with your own when you realized how close he was.

“No, in me.  Take me, please.”  

He grinned, tangling his fingers with yours for a moment.  The muscles in his arm were fascinating to watch as they flexed when he moved.  Copia was going a lot slower than he had been, trying to savor the feel of your fingers on his flesh.  You couldn’t help but start to move against his thigh again, his skin still wet from your release.  With a curse he released your hand, rolling onto his back and tugging you with him.

“Come here.”  You let him maneuver you until you were sitting up and straddling him.  His cock hard in front of you, wet and ready.  He smirked as he gently patted your thighs, encouraging you to raise up as he took his cock in hand again.  “Like this.”

Your mouth fell open as you hovered over him, your body eager to take him in.  The muscles in his arms strained as he helped slowly lower you down, your legs shaking until you were seated fully.  You could tell he was holding himself back, his body trembling a bit while he waited for you to get used to the position.  He sighed when you placed your hands on the soft flesh of his belly and moved your hips slightly.

“Like this?”  He nodded, grabbing your hips and helping you move in a way that had you both moaning.  Copia had started to talk in Italian while his hands began to wander from your hips to your ass.  “N-no more Italian lessons Copia I c-can’t, ah!” 

With a grunt he stilled and you looked forward again to watch him, instantly becoming suspicious when you saw him clearly trying to hold a laugh in.

“No more Italian lessons, Principessa.”  His hands moved back to your hips, holding you tight as he bent his legs and planted his feet on the bed.  “Time for a different lesson.”

“What kind of lesson?”

He grinned, covering your hands with his once more and giving them a squeeze.

“Hang on and I’ll show you.” 

If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙

My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar

[enjoy-my-swearing]

I HAD TO

@ramblingoak

[da-rulah]

oh my-

this is so beautiful...

My dear ghesties, I just got the seal of approval from brilliant @ramblingoak , author of The Cardinal’s Bride —which, if you are a Copia fan and you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting forrrrr it’s in my top five favorite Ghost fics ever!!!— to post this fan art based on her incredibly passionate, romantic, funny, poignant, sexy, breathtaking fic.

Let’s just say I’m not a patient woman. There is probably far better fanart out there (and definitely a fantastic Cowboy Copia “WANTED” poster), but I had to capture the feeling I got from the burgeoning romance between the irresistible Cardinal and his brave, thoughtful and endearing Principessa.

I’ve really built this up too much—anyway here’s the intimate but not too N S F W scene under the cut. Hope you like it.

[snail-shell2335]

you all know the rule - if you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy.

redid one of my old sketches (with the same general… hat theme) for the lovely @ramblingoak and her story The Cardinal’s Bride!! if you haven’t read it, go check it out. 100% worth every second!! :)

(forgive any inconsistencies or misplaced lines, i’ve been staring at it for so long 😭😭)

[fictionadventurer]

I should have known that William Goldman had already written the perfect summary of the Imaginary Book Recs project.

"This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it."

[way-kawaii-01]

Remains of the Day from The Corpse Bride is actually about Copia. No I will not elaborate and no I will not take criticism

[z-xmyers]

I caved. I’m a Secondo Hoe😔 HES SO PRETTY (I DO NOT DRAW MUSTACHES IM SORRY.)

Secondo from @ramblingoak ‘The Cardinals Bride’