#the butterfly stands for adhd

[bl00dcakedbunn1e]

MEET THE ARTIST! (Template by bruteboots on deviantart)

Ibis kept fucking crashing on me when i was trying to work on it, so it took me 2 days or so.

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Hopeful

Soft! Jackson Joel Miller x Neurodivergant/ ADHD F!reader

Summary: Joel hasn't felt hopeful since before the outbreak, that is before he meets you when he arrives in Jackson. Hes falling for you, but you couldn't possible fee the same way, could you?

Soft! Jackson Joel miller x Neurodivergant\ ADHD reader AU

MDNI 18+ NSFW

Warnings: unspecified age gap (i wrote this with reader in her early 30s and Joel in is early 50s but no ages are specifically said) soft Joel, concerned Joel, protective Joel, Neurodivergant, audio overstimulation, anxiety. He falls first. Match maker Ellie. Smut. Oral (F! receiving) Fingering, heavy make out sessions. Joel's chatty. body imagine issues, low self-esteem. Swearing, dirty talk. Praise.

A/N: Man this story really got away from me! what i thought would be a short story turned out to be rather length but im proud as hell of this story and i hope you enjoy!

There’s not a lot of descriptors about reader other than eye color and mentions of curves/ plush but they can easily be changed.

Hopeful.

Hopeful wasn’t something Joel felt since before the outbreak. But when he met you, it started brewing slow and low just below the surface until he couldn’t deny it anymore, couldn’t push it away any longer. You made him feel hopeful.

“Dude if you stare much longer the whole town is gonna notice.” Ellie teases as she jabs Joel with her elbow.

“Oh stop it, I wasn’t staring”

“You’ve been looking at her for like 10 minutes, just go sit with her”

Joel turns away quickly feeling his face getting red. He thought he was doing a better job of keeping his fondness for you hidden. He figured there was no way you’d share the same feelings, why would you like a guy like him? Old, beat up, and someone the whole town talked about. He figured there just wasn’t any way.

“She don’t want me bothering her” Joel shrugs

“Im not lying when I say she asks about you when you haven’t been to the stables yet.”

A slight smile tugs at Joel’s lips, he always asks Ellie about you too.

“Go sit with her”Ellie nudges him

Joel let’s out a nervous sigh and makes his way over to your table.

You’re fully engrossed in your book that you don’t notice Joel standing there for a moment.

“Is this seat taken darlin’?”

You don’t even have to look to know it’s Joel, you’d know his voice anywhere.

You chuckle, looking up at him with that smile and those big beautiful hazel eyes he loved so much.

“What’s funny?”

“Unless Ellie and Dina are sitting with me, that seats never taken”

Joel frowns at your comment.

“You want some company? It ok if I sit?”

“I’d love some” you say trying not too seem to eager but your bursting with butterflies over Joel wanting to sit with you. Your smile happens automatically, like it always does with Joel.

You’d been fond of Joel since him and Ellie arrived in Jackson. Despite all the whispers about him in town, his presence always calmed you in a way nobody ever had, you couldn’t explain it even if you tried. You absolutely adored Ellie from the moment you met her, Joel always telling you she trusts you in a way he’s never seen before.

The two of you fall into comfortable small talk as you both finish breakfast.

“Didn’t see you at the town dance last night”

“That’s because I didn’t go, you went?”

“Well Ellie and Dina wanted to go cause they’re always reading about dances in the diaries they find, so I went too. Plus Ellie’s always teasin’ me that I need to get out more”

“I don’t normally go to stuff like that, I’m too awkward and I don’t want people asking me to dance because they feel bad.”

“Now I’m sure there would be lots of people who’d like to dance with you” Joel has all he can do not to tell you he’d show up to dance with you everytime if he knew you’d be there.

“That’s really kind of you to say, but incase you haven’t noticed the people here don’t really know how to take me.”

“You headin to the stables?” Joel already knows the answer. He knows it’s not your day to work at the stables but he asks anyways because he doesn’t want the conversation to end.

“ No, today I’m working on getting the little town library set up, now that you and Tommy are finished building the shelves, I’d like to open it soon.”

“Y’need any help? I’m off my normal duties today”

“Oh no, it’s ok. You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to bother you on your free time”

“It’s really no trouble at all, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to help” Joel’s jokes, smiling at you.

Your laugh.

He’d give anything to hear your laugh over and over again.

“And I guess I wouldn’t accept if I didn’t want help and company” you teased back, trying to stifle the giggle that bubbles up.

She wants company, my company?

The two you you load up the first wagon full of books and wheel across the center of town to the little store front soon to be the The Jackson Town Library.

“Here we can unload them. Then I can keep making the trips back and forth with the cart while you set them up in the shelves”

“Sounds like a deal to me. Why don’t we make like 3-4 trips and stop for the day. Because if not we’re both the type of people to work on our whole day off.”

“You got yourself a deal sweetheart”

Joel can’t help but smile as he turns to make the second trip. There was just something about the way you made him feel at ease, that he couldn’t get over.

When Joel returned with the second load of books he found you and Ellie chatting as she was helping you.

“What was it like to have a birthday party and sleepovers?” Ellie asks you.

“What makes you ask that?” You ask chuckling a little.

“Well I’ve been reading about them in the people from before the outbreaks diaries but I never had either of them”

“They were fun for a lot of people, I um didn’t really have a lot of friends, so my birthday parties were always mostly family. And I only ever went to a few sleep overs. I was always so excited to be included when I got to go to them.”

It breaks Joel’s heart listening to you and Ellie talking. It wasn’t fair that Ellie never got to experience what life was like before the outbreak, never really getting a childhood. Hearing you talking about how hard and lonely your life was even as a child tore him up. You were different sure, but you had a heart of gold. You were so caring, always supporting everyone who needed something and all you wanted was love and care in return.

He wanted to be that person for you so badly, the one who made your heart soar with all the love and support you never had. To be the one to make you laugh on the good days and take you into his arms and take the pain away on the bad days.

He’s not sure exactly when he started to fall for you, but it was coming on faster and stronger by the day.

“My birthday is next weekend, could I have a birthday party?”

You looked up locking eyes with Joel

“Of course you can, we can throw you a birthday party Ellie” you smile at him as you answer.

We. She wants to help me throw a birthday party for Ellie? There’s no bounds to how wonderful and caring this woman is.

“ I of course want to invite you, Dina, Jesse, Ethan, uncle Tommy and Maria. Ooo can I have a sleep over?”

“No boys are sleeping over”

You can’t help but laugh at Joel’s abrupt response.

“Eww no of course not, but Dina and (y/n) could stay over couldn’t they?”

“ yes if they want to they are more then welcome”

“Oh this is awesome, I gotta go tell everyone!”

“Wait, shouldn’t you ask if (y/n) wants too?” Joel’s looking at you to gage your reaction

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

Ellie smiles wildly as she runs out of the store front.

——————————————————————

The day came for Ellie’s party, and you loaded up your wagon with all the supplies and headed over there early to help set up.

“Jesus you’ve got a lot of stuff, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble”

“I know but I really wanted to make this as special as I could for her. She deserves to have the experiences she never got too”

Your big heart made Joel’s soar, you were so kind and thoughtful.

“ I do have a big surprise for her, for all the kids really”

“Oh yea? What do you have up your sleeve?” Joel teases.

“So I went through some boxes that had been in the house in one of the closets. I never bothered to before because it’s not like I really have a lot of stuff so they weren’t in the way. But I wanted to see if there was anything I could use for Ellie’s party and man I hit the jackpot”

Joel just smirks and raises a eyebrow signaling you to continue.

“Well one I found another Will Livingston pun book, which she’s going to love and I found a Nintendo console with a bunch of game cartridges. I figured we could teach the kids how to play and then Ellie can keep it”

There it is again, we. Maybe I’m reading into this to much. But I can’t help but feel like she actually likes spending time with me.

“Shit, they’re all going to love it! Man I haven’t played with one of these in ages”

“Me either, I was never any good at them and the sounds drove me crazy”

Joel relished moments like this, when you pulled back the curtain you shielded yourself with and let him see you.

You sat there completely content and full of joy watching Joel teach the kids how to play each game before he joined you on the couch as they went crazy battling each other.

As the kids cheer and the Mario music blasts Joel looks over to see you struggling. Your eyes shut tightly, chest rising and falling quicker than normal

“Hey, want to have a drink in the kitchen?” Joel whispers as he places his hand lightly on your arm.

“Please” you whisper, embarrassed that Joel saw you like that.

You sit at the kitchen table while Joel takes out two glasses with ice and pours whiskey doubles into them.

“Everything alright darlin’?” Joel ask as he takes his seat sliding your glass over to you.

“Oh..yea..everything’s alright” you say staring down at the amber liquid. Embarrassment flooding your system.

“I ain’t gonna push you if you don’t want to talk and I know I probably ain’t your first choice of someone to talk to, but just know you can talk to me.”

Joel desperately wants to know about your struggles, what makes you the way you are. He wants to be the one that helps you through life, the one who makes the bad days good and the good days better. But he pushes aside the thoughts that you’d want to be more than just friends, if you even considered him that. Because after all why would a girl like you like someone like him, could he really be that lucky?

You think about your answer for a few beats, and realize there’s no use trying to lie to Joel. There was just something about Joel that was comforting, that made you feel safe, but in a different way than the way you felt with Tommy you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

“No its not at all like that. I like talking to you.” You don’t miss the way Joel’s eyes light up a little.

“It’s just….I usually just retreat into myself, it’s easier that way. Most people don’t want to hear about my weird issues that can’t be solved with a why don’t you just ignore it?, why can’t you just change? Can’t you be a little less weird?” You said with a defeated shrug.

You wanted to talk to Joel, but part of you hoped he would just change the subject and move on. Because your quiet sure he doesn’t actually want to hear about your ADHD and all the weird idiosyncrasies that came with it.

“Well I’m not most people” he drawled as he lightly touched your arm. Nodding his head to encourage you to continue.

Truthfully he wanted to hear anything you wanted to tell him, Joel wanted to be your comfort point, the person that you went to for anything. To be the person you felt the safest with, to let your tired shoulders relax from holding up that wall around yourself. Letting your true self shine, free from judgement and surrounded by the love you deserve.

“I have sensory issues, especially with audio and textures. It’s hard to explain and it’s been along time since anyone wanted me too, so bare with me because some of this isn’t going to make a whole lot of sense.”

“You take all the time you need sweetheart, there no rush or pressure. I’m here for you”

Joel can’t help but notice your eyes soften and body langue relax a little when you realize he’s got you, that he’s hear for you and truly listening.

“I get overwhelmed easily by a lot of sounds happening at once, like in there with the sounds of the game and all the yelling and cheering at the same time makes my brain feel scrambled up. Like I can’t sort any of it out, it just sounds like one big mixing bowl of sounds. And when that happens I get anxious, my heart starts to pound, my ears ring and sometimes I lash out coming off to aggressive in the moment to try and make it stop.”

“ you’ve been around enough at the stables, you’ve probably heard me come on a little to strong with a razor sharpe tongue when it all gets to much. I always feel so bad, I never mean to snap. But sometimes when it’s so overwhelming it’s like I have no control of my tongue and I just blurt it out before I even realize I’m saying anything.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Ask me anything you’d like and I’ll do my best to answer”

“I don’t want this to come out wrong, I’m realizing now this might sound a little weird. But I’ve noticed you fuss with your clothes, like your pulling them away from your skin constantly, is-is that part of the sensitivity?”

You can’t help but look at Joel for a few beats to long, stunned by his question. Not because of the way he worded it but because of the context of his question, that fact that he’s picked up on your discomfort and is curious about it instead of just asking why you can’t just deal with it like everyone else ever has.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean t’make you uncomfortable” Joel says taking your silence as a bad sign.

“No, you didn’t at all. I just got lost in the thought of you being so observant but always wanting to know.”

“I always want to ask if your alright but I never want to pry, I know you like your space”

You can’t help the smile that dances across your face.

“You can ask me anything Joel, if I’m not comfortable answering I’d tell you.”

“But yes, the clothing thing is part of it. The texture of some fabrics against me make me want to crawl out of my skin. It’s hard sometimes for me to fall asleep too because the way the blankets and sheets touch my skin doesn’t feel right. I know it’s weird, I can’t really explain it.”

“It’s not just with clothing or fabric either, it’s physical touch too, which is the worst to get people to understand. I hate being touched, the feeling of most people touching me makes my skin crawl. And they love to brush it off by being like oh well I’m a huggy person or oh I’m just a touchy person so it’s ok.”

“I’m sorry, I know Ellie hugs you all the time and I know I touched you earlier”

“See now this is the most frustrating and complicated part about this. There are people like you, Ellie and Tommy that are in my bubble that I’m comfortable with, that I trust, that that kind of contact is welcome from.”

She likes when I touch her? Am I a welcome presence for her? I’ll drive myself crazy thinking about this too hard, but maybe just maybe she’s trying to tell me she feels the same as I do?

“Then the flip side of it is that there are also sounds that bring me so much comfort, like songs that I could listen to on repeat without batting an eye. The sound of someone’s voice that brings me back to earth when the anxiety is unrelenting. A scent that soothes me beyond explanation.”

Joel can’t help but let his thoughts run wild, indulging in the thought that you might be talking about him. He’s about to ask about your comment when Ellie barges into the kitchen.

“Oh sorry to interrupt” she says when she realizes you two are deep in conversation.

“Oh no it’s ok, you probably just saved me from really embarrassing myself” you chuckle

Joel doesn’t miss the way you stiffen up, as if you feel like you’ve said to much.

“ I’m ready to watch my birthday movie but I’m also really ready for the guys to leave so it’s just the four of us, could you kick them out?”

“ course I can do that, we’ll be right in”

You quickly get up from the table to follow after Ellie.

“Hang on, sweetheart” Joel says softly as he reaches for your arm.

“Can-can I give you a hug? Or rather would you like a hug?”

You can feel the embarrassment really take hold as you pull your eyes to the floor. He had no idea how much you wanted a hug from him and you had no idea how badly he wanted to hug you.

“I would like that” you said meekly as you nod your head. If Joel wasn’t listening intently, hanging on your every word he would of missed it

He takes a few steps closer to you hesitating for a couple beats before he wraps his arms you.

As if you’d been waiting for this moment, your entire body relaxes under his touch. Joel can’t help but notice they way you bury your head into his chest as you wrap your arms around him tighter. The way you stay there in his arms for longer than he expects, like your completely at ease in this moment.

“Thank you….thank you for listening. For letting me talk.” You whisper

“Thank for trusting me, for letting me in” he whispers back.

——————————————————————

It had been a few months since Ellie’s birthday party and Joel couldn’t help but boil over with happiness at seeing more of you. You started coming around often and listening to him play guitar on the porch after your walks with Ellie. You started joining them for family meals more in the mess hall, though Joel couldn’t tell you he called them that- not yet anyway.

Because honestly he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to decide he wasn’t the type of person you wanted to spend alot of time with. It’s why he didn’t press you on wether or not you were coming to his birthday gathering at the tipsy bison tonight that Tommy was putting together. He didn’t want you to feel pressured.

You slip into the dimly lit tipsy bison about 45 minutes before Joel’s party is supposed to end. You were so nervous to come, that it took alot for you to actually leave the house. You realize as you slip into a table in the dark back corner that you also forgot his present at home too.

Somethings seriously wrong with me when I remember to bring my security book and not this man’s damn present.

You scan the room and see Joel and Tommy talking to a few people at the bar. Nervous about interrupting you open up your book and try to block out all the loud chatter.

Joel scans the small crowd hoping to see you when he over hears Caleb talking to Tommy.

“Why would she come to something like this if she’s not going to speak to anyone?”

Joel follows Caleb’s motion, feeling a tugging in his chest when he lays eyes on you. You’re sitting in the dark corner of the Tipsy Bison hunched over your book, rubbing your finger back and forth on the cover. Something Joel picked up on that you do when your anxious as a way to sooth yourself.

“Sorry we can’t all be rays of fucking sunshine like you” Joel hears Ellie snap back as he’s making his way over to you.

The closer he gets to you the more his heart pounds. When was the last time I ever felt like this if ever. Joel doesn’t know when it started happening but he can’t fight it any longer, he’s falling for you hard and fast like a fright train. You consume his every thought, which terrifies the hell out of him but he can’t turn back now, not even if he tried.

“Hey there sweetheart, you came” for one fleeting moment Joel feels nervous, maybe you don’t want to be bothered because after all you didn’t even tell him you were here. But that all melts away the moment you look at him. The smile that touches your eyes, the shimmer of happiness that dances across your face.

“Hey!”

“It ok to join you?”

“Of course, I’d love that. As long as I’m not taking your time away from anyone else?”

“There isn’t one person in here I’d rather talk to”

The way you beam up at him as you quickly but your book back in you’re bag says it all. This is another sign of yours that Joel’s picked up on, you only do this when you’re comfortable and want to talk to someone. You always do this when you see him, he trys so hard not to read into that but at this point it’s impossible.

The two of you sit and talk for a bit. You can’t help but be consumed by all things Joel when you were around him, and you loved that. The way he looked at you like you were the only other person in the world or the way he made you feel when ever he was near was both to much snd not enough. Your feelings for him charging full steam ahead, there’s no way you’d stop them even if you had the option.

But could he really feel the same?

“Well I should go I don’t want to take you away from your friends to long”

“Oh, let me walk you home”

“No no it’s ok, I’ll be alright, it’s your party” you say frowning, not wanted to inconvenience him in any way.

“Sweetheart…I can promise you most these people ain’t here for me”

You pause for a few beats

“Ok, in that case I’d love that” unable to control the sincere wild smile that dances across your lips at the thought of Joel Miller walking you home.

“Um ah- would you like to come in for a minute? I ah have a gift for you but I forgot it when I left for your party” you smile sheepishly up at Joel as you reach your little house.

“You have a gift for me?”

“Yea…I made you a birthday present”

Joel follows you inside your house, and instantly the scent of you is filling his senses. He watches as your disappear down the hall and into a room, unsure if he can follow you mixed with not wanting to scare you has him staying in the kitchen.

“Here it’s not much, but I wanted to do something” you say nervously handing him the small gift wrapped in a scrap piece of fabric.

You lean back against the counter as Joel takes the gift, unwrapping the corded string holding the fabric around the gift like wrapping paper.

You’re overcome with anxiety watching him, making it near impossible to look at him. What if he doesn’t like it? What if it’s to much? Joel doesn’t miss the way your fidgeting around nervously.

As Joel pulls back the last fold of fabric he reveals a smallish leather bound note book. As he turns it over in his hands the light catches right for him to notice stitched into the cover in a slightly different colored string than the leather is his name.

“You made this for me? Christ it must of taken forever” Joel asks as he runs this fingers over the the letters.

“D-do you like it? I hope it’s not to much?” You say sheepishly, retreating into yourself as your wrap your arms around yourself.

“No no, it ain’t like that. I love it, I’m just surprised you took the time to make something for me of all people.”

“It took me about two months to do, because I worked on it when I had the energy after rounds at the stables. But I wanted to do something special for you, because.. well because your special to me. When I heard you saying your note book for your patrol and maintenance notes was almost full I got the idea to make this without knowing how to go about it”

“Nobody’s ever done anything like this more me before. Is it ok if I give you a hug sweetheart?”

When Joel takes you into his arms he expects you to be tense before you relax like the few times before,but not this time. No this time was different, this time you melted under his touch immediately burying your face in his chest. He can’t help but think maybe you’ve been needing his touch, his comfort as much as he needs yours.

You feel him pull back from the hug, making you painfully aware you held on to him for a few beats to long. You’re anxiety takes over as you pull back, you’re gaze dropping to the floor immediately.

“Sorry. Sorry, I made that weird”

“Give yourself some credit sweetheart, you never make anything weird. I just wanted to look at you, that’s all”

Pulling your gaze back up, your met with his beautiful deep brown eyes. They’re filled with a soft tenderness as he reaches up caressing the curve of your cheek.

Joel’s large warm hand comes to cup the side of your face, smoothing his calloused thumb back and forth over your cheek bone. His heart thunders in his chest when you lean into his touch, looking more free than he’s ever seen you. Almost as if you’re letting him see a glimpse of yourself from before the world fell apart. He also sees a lightness in your body language that he only notices when the two of you are together.

His eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes a few times, trying to search for any fear or discomfort.

Fuck it.

Your eyes flutter closed as Joel’s lips connect with yours in a soft and tender kiss. Your mind in desperately trying to process everything as Joel takes your stillness as hesitation and pulls away at the exact moment you brain catches up.

“Sorry I misre-“

“Wait, Do it again” you whisper

Joel grabs both sides of your face as he lowers himself back down connecting with your soft lips again. Only this time you don’t hesitate, you return the kiss as you bring your hands to loop round his neck, your fingers sinking into the hair at the nape of his neck. Joel skims his hands down your sides resting them on your hips, a action that makes you gasp as you tilt you’re head up.

“Is this ok?” He whispers as he pulls back enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“Yes” you whisper back, running your fingers deeper into his dark graying hair. This action unlocks something deep inside Joel as he hooks his one hand around your lower back and the other around the back of your head pulling you closer to him. When you resume kissing it’s more passionate and frantic than before and as Joel licks along the seam of your bottom lip begging for entrance you tilt your head up immediately allowing him to deepen the kiss. As your warm wet tongues dance together the grip you two have on each other tightens. Neither of you wanting to show the other how terrified you both are of the other slipping through your fingers if you not holding on for dear life.

As you both pull back to catch your breath you can’t help the giggle that escapes you.

“I guess it’s safe to say you liked your present?”

“It’s safe to say I like more than just the present sweetheart”

He can’t possibly be saying what I think he’s saying can he?”

“I’d invite you to watch a movie but I moved the only tv into the bedroom because it helps me sleep alone and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”

What I wouldn’t give to spend every night next to her. I never want her to feel alone.

“I’d be more than comfortable with that but only if you are”

Christ I could get lost in the big hazel eyes of hers.

“I honestly would love that” youre trying to hide your smile not wanting to come off too eager but it’s impossible.

You lead the way to your bedroom, once inside you gesture to the bed, “you can pick the movie and make your yourself comfortable I’ll be right back.”

You beeline it for the bathroom, splashing some water on your face and looking at yourself in the mirror. You take a few deep breaths trying to tamp down the anxiety.

Did I really just invite Joel Miller to watch a movie with me in my bed and he accepted? When did I get so bold?

Making your way back to the bedroom you see Joel sitting up with his back against the wall with the few pillows against the wall next to him.

The way your smiling at him makes him feel like it’s just you and him in this world, I feeling that nobody has ever given him before.

“Why don’t you have any pillows you rest your back on?” You say as you settle in next to him.

“I just want to make sure your comfortable, I’ll be fine”

You laugh, that beautiful laugh Joel has come to love so much.

“Well I certainly don’t need all of these, you should be comfortable too” you say as you hand him a couple.

Joel absolutely melts at this action. It speaks volumes to him that your advocating for his comfort as well as your own without even thinking about it or being asked too.

As he’s settling back against the pillows Joel notices you rolling one of your shoulders back as it’s it’s bothering you.

“You alright sweetheart? I’ve been noticing you rolling youre shoulder a lot this week, it botherin’ you?”

“Oh yea… it’s fine, I just tweaked it at the stables. Shimmers stables doors been sticking and the saddles are a little high for me sometimes, but it’s fine. I just gotta go easy on it for a bit”

Joel feels a wave of concern mixed with anger, but not with you with himself.

I should of asked sooner, she shouldn’t be getting hurt at work because of something I could of helped fixed. I need to go down there and fix something.

“ let me take a look at it sweetheart”

You’re embarrassed, your sure he thinks your the biggest idiot as you turn facing your back to him.

“Where does it hurt?”

“It hurts kind of along my shoulder blade”

Joel starts feeling along your shoulder blade applying light pressure.

“Ugh right in there” you quietly groan

“It’s a little swollen, maybe a pinched nerve…I could rub it, try to work it out for y’ou if you’d be comfortable with that.”

“Wait…really?”

“Please don’t feel like you have too, it’s ok”

“It’s no trouble sweetheart”

Joel helps you settle back between his legs as he slips his hand into the neck of your shirt messaging his thumb along your shoulder.

Joel doesn’t miss the relaxed sigh you breath out as your eyes get heavy and you slowly fall back until your back is completely flush again his chest, your head on his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around you tightly, looking down to see you completely asleep in his arms. He leans down softy placing a kiss on your forehead. Warmth slowly creeps up his spine, over his shoulders and deep into his chest. This is what safety feels like, you- are what safety feels like. Joel doesn’t have to have his walls up with you. He can relax, let his guard down, not have to be in a constant state of fight or flight around you. The more Joel let’s this realization consume him, the heavier his eyes get and before he can stop it he starts dozing off.

He snaps awake 10 minutes later to the feeling of you squirming in his arms followed by the sounds of mumbles and whimpers in your sleep. You cry out briefly before you roll over, clutching him with your head buried in the crook of his and your chest flush against his own. Joel can feel your heart pounding against his chest.

“Shhhh baby girl it’s ok, I got you. You’re with me. Your safe” Joel speaks softly rubbing his hands up and down your back.

The moment you hear his voices, the tension drains from your body and your cry’s stop as you fully relax against him.

“Don’t leave me please…I need you ” you’re soft voice speaks against his neck

Joel holds you tightly, unable to shake the memory of you telling him that someone’s voice was soothing to you, that it made you at ease when ever you heard it. He’s 100% confident that you were talking about him.

“Im not goin’ anywhere sweetheart” Joel says as he squeezes you tighter and kisses the crown of your head.

Your so incredibly raw and vulnerable in the moment as you look up at him, your eyes swirling with comfort mixed with fear as you sleepily sit up.

——————————————————————

The next time Joel opens his eyes it’s early morning, your curled up to him, your head on his chest. He can’t help but think he won the lottery. The idea that a women like you would take comfort in him, that you’d want him by you’re side. Joel will make it his mission to make sure you never feel alone again, that he’s by your side for the rest of your life. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve you in his life because he sure as hell didn’t feel like he deserved it.

Joel’s pulled from his thoughts by you sleepily stretch and sitting up. His hand is firmly on your lower back keeping you steady.

“You sleep ok?” He asks slipping his hand under your shirt to rub your lower back.

“I don’t think I’ve slept that deeply since before the outbreak, I’ve never really been a good sleeper”

Christ she’s so beautiful first thing in the morning, givin’ me that cute sleepy smile as she tells me how she slept well next to me.

“Where you able to sleep?”

I can’t tell her I slept better than I have In 20 something years.

“I did get some sleep”

“You hungry? We could go grab Ellie and get breakfast in the mess hall”

Ellie. Fuck I have no idea if any of this is ok with Ellie. I can’t do this to her. I don’t want to drive a wedge between her and Joel or her and I. She’s been though enough I don’t want her to think I’m trying to break up there family.

“ Oh, no it’s ok. You go a head I’m sure you and Ellie have stuff to do today” you say as you you stiffen to sit up straight, the feeling of panic crashing in like a wave.

“No it’s no trouble at all, she should just be over Dina’s anyway” Joel feels your body going ridged, he can tell by your eyes that somethings changing.

“ I have so much to do at the library still before it can open, I’m really not hungry. I’ll just grab something before breakfast ends.” You say swinging your legs over the side of the bed and hurriedly looking for clean clothes.

Joel feels it, he sees it your body langue that somethings wrong. He doesn’t know what flipped the switch but he’s desperate to fix it.

“You should take it easy on your shoulder, rest it so it don’t get worse”

Your body relaxes, your eyes softening briefly at him being protective, showing concern for your health before going ridged again.

“I promise I’ll go easy on my shoulder, I just desperately need to get some projects done. Everyone’s counting on me to get it done and open soon.” Your voice sounds strained and pleading like your trying to convince yourself and much as you are him that you believe what your saying.

“Can I at-least walk you there?”

The walk into town was quiet, neither of you saying much. Just the silent sound of you both battling your own inner self doubt.

“You sure you don’t want breakfast?”

“I’m sure….I’m not very hungry” your voice is soft and strained, almost as if your trying to hold back tears.

Joel cups your face pulling your gaze up to meet his.

“You let me know if you need anything sweetheart, can’t have you hurtin’ your shoulder worse.” Joel drawls before leaning in, closing the gap and placing a soft kiss to your lips. You return the kiss briefly as you run your fingers over his patchy beard.

“I promise I’ll go easy on myself”

Joel can’t shake the feeling that somethings wrong. You never skip breakfast because you get very hangry if you don’t eat in the morning.

Did I scare her? Did I move to fast? Did I make her uncomfortable in some way?

It hits Joel like a ton of bricks as he turn onto his street.

Ellie. She’s worried about how Ellie will feel about us. She’s worried it will drive a wedge between her and I or with them.

Joel stops up the steps and frantically grabs his tool bag.

“Your to old to be staying out all night and then doing a terrible job sneaking back in the next morning” Ellie teases behind Joel.

“I gotta do some extra work in the work shop and at the stables but when your done with your green house shift, we need to talk”

Joel’s never had a way with words like most people, he’s never been eloquent speaker. His love language more came in the form of acts of severance or in words of affirmation. He spends the next few hours building a safe sturdy step stool for the saddles, fixing not just Shimmers stable door but all the horses stables doors so none of them had the possibility to stick and tinkering around and fixing up anything he could find.

You stay at the library for several hours trying completely the simplest tasks, but without much success. Your just going through the motions as your mind is a mile away, thinking about Joel.

Resigning to the fact that you were getting nothing done, you decided to go home to take a hot shower to sooth your racing mind.

As the hot water streams over your body and the steam fills your lungs your mind drifts to Joel. You haven’t stopped thinking about how you can still feel his lips on yours. How he makes you feel seen and heard without any judgement what so ever.

Youre heart aches from how deep your feelings for Joel go, even if it feels like you don’t deserve having him in your life. But you need to apologize to him for how abruptly you retreated back into yourself when the feelings felt to real this morning.

Joel’s nursing a glass of whisky when Ellie gets back from her shift at the green house.

“What’s up Joel, everything alright?”

“Yea, nothin’ bad I just, I like someone and wanna talk about it”

“Oh congrats, your getting soft in your old age. Did you finally become friends with your horse”

“Jerk, no I like a woman. I like a woman, I wanna date her. But are you ok with that?”

“Your so bad at this, why are you being so awkward?”

“We’ll Christ, I’ve never done this before, had this kind of talk. I never brought anyone around Sarah. I don’t know what I’m doing”

“Wait… is this about Y/N?”

Joel nods cautiously

“Man you really are dense aren’t you?” Ellie playfully pokes.

“What’s so funny?”

“Joel.. I’ve been trying to set you up with her since we got here. Tommy’s been helping too”

“What? Really? You’re ok with it?”

“You guys are perfect for each other, it’s so obvious you two really care about each other, at least it is too me because I get to spend time with you guys together away from everyone else.”

Joel just stairs at her stunned

“Look I never wanted to admit this because it sounds stupid, but the times when it’s just you, me and her…it’s feels like we’re a family, like I actually have the family I’ve been dying to have my whole life. She got to know us and excepted us the way we are without listening to all the whispers around town and I think that’s fucking beautiful.”

“I gotta go see her”

“I swear to god Joel don’t fuck this up, she’s the happiness we both deserve, but yes, go to her, go right now”

Joels out of the house and down the street before his brain catches up.

Your scrambling around the house trying to get dressed as fast as you can before you get to anxious and decide not to go to Joel’s when you hear a knock at the door.

“The book drop off box is on the porch” you yell down the hall, figuring someone was trying to pick up or drop off books they borrowed since you weren’t at the library. But you hear who ever is is knock again.

“The book pick up is also on the porch” you yell again hoping the person hears you and gets the point,but they do it yet again. Completely flustered at this point you rip your shirt down over you head and pad angrily to the door.

“The book drop off and pick…” you aggressively swing the door open, stoping dead in your tracks at who’s on the other side.

“Joel” you whisper in surprise. All you can do is stare for a few beats to long at how the evening light highlights his already beautiful features.

“Sorry, this a bad time sweetheart?”

“No…sorry I just thought you were someone else”

You immediately pick up on his change In body langue and quickly follow up with “I just thought it was someone trying to pick up or drop off books” you watch as he relaxes right away again.

“I…I um was actually on my way over to your place”

Before either if you know it your smashing together in a kiss like two magnet’s. The kiss is all teeth and tongues, it’s desperate and awkward, messy and beautiful. Your both clutching on to each other like the other might fly away as Joel walks you backwards through the door way as he pushing the door closed with his foot.

As you both pull back for air Joel cradles your face with his large hands, caressing your cheek bones with the rough pads of his thumbs. His deep brown eyes lock with you hazel ones ands it’s as if they rest of the world doesn’t exist, like it’s only the two of you left on earth.

“I’m so sorry about this morning, I wasn’t trying to be weird. I-I I just…I scared myself with everything”

“It’s ok sweetheart” Joel says as he kisses you softly.

“I talked to Ellie, she’s ok with us being a thing. Honestly quiet excited about it”

You’re speechless for a moment, as you eyes start to well with tears.

“Joel, you didn’t have to do that, I’m sorry if you felt like you had too”

“I did have too, because it’s important to me”

“It’s…it’s important to me that you did”

At hearing that Joel lunges forward again capturing your lips in a kiss pulling you flush against his chest. He swallows the gasp that escapes your lips when he takes your bottom lip between his teeth. You snake your arms around his neck tugging the hair at the nape of his neck. The growl that, that action elicits vibrates through your chest.

“Bedroom?” Joel grits out, his deep voice drips with desire mixed with love.

Joel can’t convince himself otherwise any more, he loves you.

“Bedroom” you echo

Joel’s walking you backwards down the hall to your bedroom when he turns slightly pinning you against the wall just outside your bedroom.

“Are you sure about this sweetheart?” He pulls back just enough to lock eyes with you.

You nod your head yes.

“I need to hear you say it sweetheart. I don’t want to push you farther than your comfortable going because i thought it was ok.”

“I’m sure about this Joel, I want it…I want you”

Joel let’s out a low groan as he attaches his lips to your jaw, nipping his way long it until he reaches that soft spot where your jaw meets your neck. He sucks hard and then soothes the spot with his tongue as his hands sneak inside the hem of your shirt squeezing your plush sides. This earns him another tug at his hair as you let out a whimper. Joel’s head spins from how breathless you are already for him and he hopes you can tell how breathless he is for you.

Joel rips his shirt off at the feeling of you raking your hands up and down his chest. He’s been touched starved for so long that the desperate need for your touch, to feel your skin on his takes over.

Most people wouldn’t describe Joel as beautiful, but you always found him to be. You thought as you took in the sight of him shirtless.

Joel watches you nervously as you trace over old scars on his chest. He’s afraid you’ll want to run and hide from him bearing his soul to you in a way he never has or ever wanted too. But the moment you press your lips to the scars on his chest this worry melts away. You pepper every scar you can see across his chest, arms and shoulders with kisses before you make your way to his neck. You sneak your hands around him to slide them up his back as you reach his ear.

“Every part of you is beautiful” you whisper as you kiss along his jaw.

Joel feels dizzy from your words as your lips make it back to his. Never in his life has anyone ever called him beautiful much less been this tender and sensual with him. He can’t get enough, as he grabs at your waist again. Pulling you tightly to him as he presses you firmly again the wall causing your shirt to ride up.

“It’s ok… you can take it off” you breath

Joel wastes no time ripping your shirt up over your head.

“Your so fuckin’ gorgeous” he growls as you arch into him so he can unhook your bra.

You let the straps slide down your arms until it falls to the floor between the two of you. You’re mind goes blank from Joel’s intense gaze. Slowly he slides his hands up your torso to your breasts. They barely even touched you and your nipples are already hardened peaks. The sensation of him rolling them beneath his slightly calloused thumbs as he’s squeezing your breasts hits you hard. Your eyes flutter shut as your head falls back against the wall, if your not carful you might just climax from this alone.

“Fuck…your skins so soft” Joel growls as he pulls you away from the wall and into your bedroom, not stopping until your legs hit the end of your bed.

His eyes burn right through you as you slid your pants down, leaving yourself in just your panties as you climb on the bed.

The two of you hold each others gaze for a few beats as Joel undoes his belt and steps out of his pants. You instinctually spread your legs to make room for him as the bed dips down. He doesn’t care how long he has to draw this out, Joel’s not stopping until he’s explored every inch of your body. Making you feel like the goddess that he sees you as.

Your eyes flicker from his eyes to his hard outline straining his boxers and back to his eyes. The way he playfully smirks at you makes you realize just how exposed you are to him, making you start to wrap your arms around your body to cover yourself.

“You ok sweetheart?” Joel asks rubbing circles into your thighs.

“Do you want me to cover up some?”

“What?”

“Wait why would I want you to cover up?” He half huffs, confused

“Im not the skinniest…I don’t look as good as you”

Joel hates the idea that someone(s) made you feel like you weren’t worthy because your body isn’t their ideal body. He’s loves your curves, the plushness of your skin.

“Everything about you is gorgeous, and if it s’ok id like to show you just how gorgeous I think you are.”

You frantically nod and with that Joel dips his body down kissing right above your clothed clit, pulling a whimper out of you. He then moves to your hips, kissing them both before kissing all the way up your stomach til he reaches your breasts.

He licks along the swell of your breast, pulling your peaked nipple in between his teeth as he palms the other one with his free hand. Then does the same to the other.

“So fuckin’ sexy” Joel whispers against your breast as he swings his leg over to straddle one of your legs.

He crashes forward, his rock hard bulge pressing into your hip to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. Your hands automatically plant firmly in his hair as his tongue dances with yours. Making his way down your neck sucking the soft skin where your shoulder meets your neck between his teeth, then sooth it with his tongue. You know it’s going to leave a mark, you want it too. Even if this is just for tonight, you want Joel to mark you as his. But you had no idea how much he wants that too. To make you his.

Joel plunges his tongue back into your mouth as he dips his free hand where you need it most. His finger grazes your clit has he slips it through your slit, deep into your core with a audible squelch. You both swallow each others moans.

A breathy moan escapes your lips as he gathers some of your wetness to your swollen clit with tight circles.

“Christ baby…y’so wet. This all from me?” Joel breathes, as you pull back. He wants to see the pleasure he’s giving you.

“All day…a-always” you breath unable to get more out.

“Fuck” Joel groans as he pulls down your panties, seating himself back between your legs.

“Fuck..baby you feel s’good around my fingers”

Joel’s trusts his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace.

“J-Joel…it’s feels s-s good” you say through a stifled whimper.

“Don’t hold back baby. Lemme hear ya. Wanna hear how good I make you feel.” Joel purrs as he’s stroking that soft spongy spot so well.

Your climax crashes over you like a wave against a rocky coast. You couldn’t stop even if you tried.

“Fuu- J-Joel…it feels so good”

“Thats it baby let go”

You clench around his fingers perfectly as you fall over the edge.

“Doin’ so good for me sweetheart. Soundin’ so beautiful.”

Joel leaves a trail of kisses and praise in the valley between your breasts and down your stomach.

“Can I taste you sweetheart?” He growls as he nips at the insides of your thighs. Pupils blows wide open when you lock eyes with him.

“Please” you whine

Joel gives a few kitten licks up your center to watch you squirm, then dives in like a starved man eating his last meal. You thrusted your hips forward grinding into his face desperately chasing anything he’ll give you. Joel’s harder than he’s ever been before, head dripping with pre-come at the feeling of you grinding on his face to chase your release.

He’d give you this every single day if you’d let him. He doesn’t even care about his own release. He could drown in between your legs and die a happy man seeing the pleasure he gives you from his tongue on your face.

Tag List:

@vee-bees-blog @vie-is-punk @musings-of-a-rose-writes @iamsherlocked-1998 @frecklefacelm @thatoneobsessedlinguist-writes @alyhull @sj66 @merci-killing @whenmondaycomes @ellishamae25 @romabloo @jennaispunk @elizabeth4th @runningmom94 @closetedconsumer @alongfortheridereader @thegingerlily @starlite41 @sirensheartbeat-blog @pedropascalfan221 @vivian-pascal @mads198-9 @f1shb0nez @almodovarispunk @pedroslittlelady @collection-of-fucking-chaos @megjohnston23 @pascalispunks-blog @skully-skeleton-bone0106

@peanutweanut @joelalorian @mssalmighty @mountainsandmayhem @zipp7201 @folkloreandfall @steadydragongalaxy @ceceliamariee @starrynight57-blog

@nahchiefimgood @i-love-taylor @hc-geralt-23 @hopelessromantic727 @casispunk @ctrlaltdel3te @drewharrisonwriter @teddyitalia @mexicanfolklore

@enchantingfireduck @thatwierdgirlmaddi-blog @art-estrange @amy

@chiefevelyn @niallsblckgirlfriend @unnecesarysstuff @horses1012ans @morgaussy @jellybeanxc @stxory @lavenderallergy8 @sj66 @spacecowgirl1111 @tupelomiss @hauntedpoetsdepartment @aromanticfever @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @sweetperfectioncloud @honeymarvel @samarav @is-being-ignored-a-hobby @elliaze @kjo770 @amyispxnk

[letsatomicbanana]

Quick headcanons (although some of them are canon) for Ink and Dream! Was planning to add Swap too but the canvas was too small for him...

(transcript bellow)

Dream: Demi-Aromantic (flag in his right hand), Transfem and Asexual! (flags found above). The grey-ish symbol stands for Dyslexia! It's a mix between the letters p,q,b,d.

Ink: Aromantic Asexual (flag in his left hand), Objectum sexuality and Genderqueer! (flags found above). The rainbow symbol stands for the AuDHD symbol! It's a mix between the rainbow infinity symbol (Autism) and the butterfly (ADHD).

Ink belongs to @/comyet

Dream belongs to @/jokublogs

[fallenneziah]

Sexually repressed Catholic Johnny, and reader being the one to take his virginity.

Cw: Readers gender or anatomy is not identified, anyone can read this, Religious themes, blow jobs, NSFW, MDNI! Not beta read, just a brain blurb.

Johnny was raised Catholic, his parents weren't ever particularly strict, but Johnny had made up his fears in his head. What from weekly confessions and his teachers keeping a particular eye on him. Throughout his life in the church, he was labeled as one of the trouble kid because of his ADHD, despite being devoted to his Catholic practices. Those of which included not having sex before marriage.

Johnny had always been taught that amongst everything else, sex wasn't something to be taken lightly. There was no thrill in knocking strange women up or adding as many one night stands or dates to his roster as he could. And he lived by that.

His family was important, but when he left for the military, he was lying if he wasn't tested. There were many beautiful women and men back where he lived that he definitely lusted after in secret. But he really wanted to keep up the impression of a good catholic boy for his parents. Especially since he was their only son, and already considered one to keep an eye on in his congregation.

And then he met you. Johnny had found himself with no personal preference for men or women, but meeting you seemed to click something in his mind that he couldn't fathom. He wanted to be with you. Not just be with you, he wanted every inch of you.

He was like a pathetic puppy, chasing you around on an invisible leash until you finally got the hint. He was cute, real cute, and he was as committed to his job as they come. So one night after some drinks, you invited him to your room. He wasn't too drunk, sober enough to know if his parents ever knew they'd be very upset. That and the religious guilt started to fill when you sat on your bed and invited him over.

He shuddered, unsure where to put his hands and what to do. He'd never kissed, he'd never held someone so close before. He came over clumsily and pressed his lips to yours, a lot of teeth, not a lot of gentleness. He was desperate, his first impression of your lips was warmth, something he wanted more of.

Your fingers gently tugged his Mohawk, pulling him back from the rushed kiss with a gasp. "Easy, take it easy..." You whispered. He exhaled heavily and slowly, but desperately kissed you. Your lips melted against his like honey in milk, pressing up against you and letting his hands tentatively roam to your belt, excited to get them off you.

Your tongues meet, and his cock is harder than a rock, your arms wrapping around him and unbuttoning his vest, throwing it to the floor. His heart pounds in his ears, his face is feverish and the butterflies that burst in his stomach are overwhelming. He can't tell if it's from your honeysuckle lips or the way you're touching him.

He brushed your hair back and tilted your head into him, chasing the warm depth of your mouth, sloppily folding into your arms as he lost himself in the feverish pounding of his head and his cock.

His cock strained against the fabric of his pants, the underbelly of his cock grinded against your knee through the harsh fabric, making for an erotic feeling sending zings of electricity up his spine.

"Oh fuck... You're so good." He whined, sloppily kissing down your neck and over your collar, unbuttoning your shirt. You groaned in reply, gasping at the rush he was in. You'd never had someone so... Hungry. So desperate for a mere taste of your skin or a grasp at the soft flesh of your body.

He's seen porn a few times, all his non-religious friends would talk, he tried every cliche move in the book. When he had your shirt open his warm mouth was eagerly taking one of your nipples into his mouth. The erotic and guilty driven thrill he felt was unlike any other in the world. It was a high he couldn't understand, a feeling he'd never forget.

Your moans and gasps from his tongue sucking your perking buds made pre-cum leak a wet spot through his cargos. His cock was pulsing and throbbing, full of neglect and hot pain.

He pulled away from you briefly and let you push him back against the bed, to undo his pants. He watched you with wide blue eyes as you wrestled his pants down and took his cock from the confines of his slick, sweat-stained briefs.

The head was pulsing, leaking from pain and bulbous from neglect. "Holy hell, John..." You whispered before giving his cock a lick. He inhaled sharply and shuddered. "Oh yes... Fuck, lick it... Please, please..." His small pleas for pleasure come out in breathless pants as your attention to his cock shoots up his abdomen and down his legs, making his mind feel full of static.

His head fell back as you took his cockhead in your mouth and slowly went down over the pulsing, fat veins of his length. His eyelashes fluttered and his face filled with feverish heat. "Father forgive me ... Oh fuck..." He whispered, reaching a hand out to hold on to you while you went over his length.

Your warm lips tightened around his cock and his length twitched violently in your mouth. You pulled up and spat on his cock, stroking it and then going back down. John whined and groaned loudly. "Oh fuck... Oh fuck I'm gonna cu-mm." He shuddered as he watched you. You batted your eyelashes and he groaned when you didn't attempt to leave him. "Oh, right in your throat too... Oh fuck..."

He groaned and bucked his hips up desperately, feeling like this could be the next best thing to heaven. "Oh fuck-!" He whined, his legs shaking as he bucked his hips into your mouth.

You choked and tried to hold him down by his hips, feeling his cum spill into your throat. His balls tightened further and he came hard, to the point he felt boneless and heavy in his own skin.

He leaned back against the wall and panted as you slowly pulled off, choking and swallowing his cum. "How'ya feeling, John?" You gently rubbed his shaking thigh, feeling the tense of muscle beneath your gentle touch. He was sensitive all over. He shakily breathed, "Ah nae ken..."

You slowly crawled up next to him, his head was spinning a mile a minute when your lips came back to his. He wrapped an arm around you slowly and slowly kissed you back. He felt like he wasn't really in this moment, with you, doing this. His heart pounded and he could feel his pulse in every crevice of his body.

You finished stripping off your clothes and let him see you in your entirety. He brushed his hand across your stomach and waist, seeing your body. "This ok?" You asked quietly, shifting back in order to give him some room to prepare.

"Yeah... You're gorgeous." He whispered, trying to snap himself out of it. In his brief moment of post but clarity the glaring weight of his family and his church fell on him. As if any second the Reverend would come barging in and see him with a fellow comrade. But as soon as you kissed again the guilt in the pit of his stomach felt slightly easier to bear.

"Should we pause?" You asked as soon as you saw the expression on his face. "No... No." He reached up to bring you back in. "Don't let me back out." He pressed you back into the bed and kissed you as his fingers found their way to your lower half. He was unsure what to touch, where to go or how to act.

His fingers dipped in and out from your warm entrance, pushing himself further inside and feeling how insanely tight you were. "How am I gonna..."

"You'll fit." You assured, with such confidence it was like cold water over his back. "Ok..." He breathed in and eventually dripped a little of your lube onto his cock.

Using leftovers from his fingers he followed your words, listening to your beautiful moans, full and unprovoked as he learned the ins and outs of your body. It was thrilling, seeing the way you reacted and arched away from the sheets. Your toes curl when he pressed against different spots. He was a quick learner, and he knew you like this.

Before long, he had his cockhead kissed against your weeping entrance. His balls, full and tight aching from the burn of his last orgasm, at the prospect of this one.

He remembered the burning feeling of his knees on their rug in their prayer room, now kneeled between you, his body bare, not married, not dating... He slid his cock against your entrance. He groaned loudly in unison with you, the chorus of quick cries and flashes of fire across your pelvises as he struggled to nestle his cock inside you.

Johnny gasped and groaned as he slid in and out from your tight entrance, gripping your hips for leverage as he slowly worked himself in and out of you. "You feel so good..." He panted and looked down, watching your body as you took him. Reaching his hand down to give you a teasing little tug.

Your little squeak, followed by an adorable moan made his cock twitch violently inside you. "I... I don't know if I'm gonna last..." He grimaced and leaned over you to kiss you up and down.

"It's ok... Just... Keep going until you can't." You encouraged as he picked up the pace, soon fucking deep inside you, his balls slapping heavily against your skin. He cried and moaned in desperate little pleas for release, until his cock was pounding against that knot inside you that made your eyes cross.

"Shit! Right there--!"

Johnny groaned and worked his hips into you double time, his orgasm rising like a wave ready to crash down on him at any given moment.

He screwed his eyes shut as his last moments were not about to be ruined by what his family might say. He fucked harder into you, the headboard groaning in protest against his frantic gyrating until he was cumming hard.

He had no time to warn you, struggling to pull out as his cock twitched and spilled inside you. "Oh fuck - fuck-" He pulled out, the last of his cum shooting across your pelvis. He shook, gasping for proper breath. "Sorry... Sorry..." He looked down at the sloppy mess he made, half in you, half out, leaking down across the sheets.

You shuddered out a breath, your own orgasm having wracked your body a moment or two after his. "It's fine. It's fine..."

Johnny slumped next to you, his knees shaky and he wrapped his arms around you. "Thank you... For letting me do that."

"Yeah, any time..." You whispered.

[chericherilvr]

I bring all the drama - M.L.A

Pairing: Marcus Lopez x fem!Reader

Summary: Being in a secret relationship with Marcus was easy, I mean it still is even after I see Maria flirting with him. After all, I thrive for drama

Reader specifics: Said to have hair, reads romance, fem reader cause they call themselves a cool girl, hinted and pretty much told neurodivergent reader (with autistic and adhd in mind)

Warning: this is so fluff I wanna cry, my humor is broken, probably ooc (like all of them), reader talks to themselves, not proof read like at all

2.1k words hehe

a/n: this is for my pookie @lucifertoxics and my pookie only, if you aren't my pookie you can keep reading it who am I to stop you tbh xx-

He grabbed her hands, a tight embrace resembling those of sweet love stories. "I love you," he whispered melting inside her eyes. "I love you," she replied whising to whoever was listening for this moment to never end.

"When are you going to finally find a boyfriend and stop reading those books?" It's in times like this I thank that the school I'm in. He looks so killable, maybe could use him to ace Mr. Denke's class. I nod to myself as I stare at Billy my eyes narrowing, (i) Why do the school rules imply you can't kill any other student? I let myself roll my eyes, he's a lucky bastard. "How about you find yourself one and let me read in peace? Please and thank you" I smile at him turning back to my book. The chair creeks as he sits pointing out just how much care they added into the library. "I mean it," Billy whispers leaning on the table, "I'm not calling you a lonely loser, but that's exactly what I'm calling you" Would I be too mean if I laugh at him? I shrug and let myself snort at his suggestion, Billy grabs my book out of my hands and throws it far on the table, out of my reach. Can't a girl just enjoy their free time for once? I turn to look at him. "Okay, I'm listening" He grins at my words choosing to ignore the annoyed tone that they came out with.

"Just don't want you throwing away your romantic life cause you prefer spending it with people who don't exist" I smirk, if he only knew, my heart beats quick, I try to ignore the burning feeling, we said to keep it secret "They are real" I chuckle at his stare, snickering trying to not burst out laughing I keep talking "they are real to mee" I slap my hand to my mouth if I'm going to laugh at least I will try to not be so loud for the library. "You're helpless" I follow Billy with my eyes trying to calm down from the big laugh, my tingles hurting from laughing too much. "Oh man if he only knew" I wipe a tear shaking my head, and standing up from my chair. Man, I really needed a good laugh. Look around the room, look around the room. I shift around for a bit trying to not act eager, and as a cartoon movie I slowly walk out the library, yes I am skipping so what?

Truth be told, Billy was far from the truth. Don't get me wrong, I love my fictional boyfriends, but I would never choose them over my fluffy ball of chaos and depression, Marcus, my boyfriend. I giggle when I think of him quickly wiping a face in front of my face to turn my expression into a more neutral one. Cool girl y/n, cool girl. Omg I could maybe start a band and get a bike? That's pretty cool girl style, right? I usually tend to get lost in my own thoughts, and I wonder how people saw me, I mean I was litterally just skipping down the hall my eyes unfocoused and looking around the walls, incohearent mumbles bouncing around me. Oh fuck I must look crazy to them. I shrug, eh who cares.

I'm not aware of how long it took me to reach the spot, our spot. Sure it was a big rock laying around but seeing it makes my stomach jumping with butterflies. I would totally twirl my hair and kick my feet with a giggle if it wasn't for what I saw. "What the actual fuck" I blink a couple times, Marcus sitting on our spot with a smiling Maria standing next to him. I mean, it's a public space, it's not like they're together locked up in a room, but why was she raising her hand to brush his hair back. Girl I get it, but his hair wasn't even messed up, why would someone even? Oh. Everything stops, and by everything I mean me, who was still aproaching them. Oh fuck she's flirting with him. I would tell you everything I thought in that moment, but I would be lying if I didn't say my brain was racing so fast not even I caught most of it. Yet I can explain how my body tenses, fingers tapping each other, the sun that suddenly looked brighter, the wind on the grass, the birds chirping, it's too much, their breaths, oh wait no, my breath, the one I can't control right now. I force myself to look at him, and I'm met with silence.

A peaceful silence that wraps around my body massaging the tension out of it. A comfort silence that fills my heart back to life. I've never been so happy to see my boyfriend's face filled with disgust. My boyfriend. As if a button was pressed my human body reacts again, walking back towards them. Towards our spot. It takes all strength within me to not laugh when Marcus pushes Maria's hand when she tries to touch him again. "Hi" They turn to look at my smiling face, and I'm sure I must have also pressed a button in Marcus cause he looks like he's about to call me his saviour. I'll tease him for that later, I could get some extra cuddles. Do I want to be mean? I mean Maria is kind of my friend as well, and my relationship with Marcus has been kept secret since it started. But a bit of teasing can't hurt, can it?

I savour every second every slow milimeter that I move my head to look at Maria as if it was sweet candy. My eyes widden in surprise and I make sure to pull the best smile I could muster. "Omg Maria you're here too!" I cheer giving her a tight hug giggling. "I swear I didn't even saw you, how's everything?" She frowns a bit looking side to side, but there's no camaras filming you, bestie, this is all real. I grab Marcus hand rubbing my thumb along it giving him a quick kiss on his cheek and a lovesick smile before turning back to look at Maria, head tilting as I wait for her answer. Fuck am I a bad person for enjoying her shocked face right now? I mean I'm training to kill people, but that's a whole different story, right? "What the fuck?" I chuckle when she speaks, covering my mouth with my hand. "Fuck did I messed up languages again? It's hard sometimes to realize" And I swear to God, I deserve to get a grammy for the self-pitying face I'm doing right now, I whine a bit selling the act, "I asked how you were doing, we haven't seen each other since thursday back in class" I smile at her leaning a bit closer to Marcus but not really whispering to ask him "That was in english, right?" He nods at me trying to hold his laugh when he sees my worried face, I sigh in relief looking back at Maria.

"I've been good," aaah, the sweet taste of confusion, "sorry it's just," she pauses again proably trying to understand what was going on, I'll give her that, she does look like gears are turning in her head to think right now, "it's just, are you two together?" Maria points at us, I gasp out in pure shock. Damn someone should just cast me already for a telenovela. "Oh my god!" I exclaim dropping Marcus' hand, "fuck babe I'm sorry I forgot we were keeping it a secret" I cover my face and groan, "fuck I'm sorry"

Cheeky bastard decides to finally speak, grabbing my hands out of my face and pulls me to stand in front of him. Fuck you Marcus Lopez Arguello, now I'm going to blush because of you. I melt when he cups my face into his hands and chuckles shifting his mouth into a smirk. "It's okay Love, it was bound to be known someday, it's not your fault" He ruffles my hair and if it weren't cause I'm in my acting era I would have already glared at him for daring to mess with my hairstyle. "I'll get-" Maria doesn't even finish her words before she darts out towards the main building, and I can't help but wonder if she felt bad for flirting with someone taken (which has never stopped her before) or if she was already telling everyone in school (which if I'm honest, it's what I think was happening) I giggle once she's out of sight turning back to face Marcus.

"Don't look at me like that" I allow myself to glare him this time, if I ignore my hear begging to kiss him I can act mad at him right? "Like what?" "With a big smile, it makes you look too cute, not fair, making me want to kiss you and everything. Also how dare you!" I exclaim, I migh not be an actress, but I am dramatic, I try to make my hair look good again, "I come in here, looking cute as fuck, my hair giving everything it needs to give, and you go and ruffle it that's not fair like-" This motherfucker kisses me.

I mean who am I to reject a kiss from him? Specially when he still tastes like today's desert we had for lunch, now I want icecream again. I love when he kisses me, but I hate how he knews how much it affects me. I surrender to him, not being able to pull away, not wanting to pull away. He quiets down my brain, so much it's concerning, each time after my brain powers on post-Marcus effect, I consider calling my psychiatrist to test him, this can't be human, he can't be real, am I going crazy or does he share the same effects my pills do. Don't tell this to my psychiatrist, but his effect works even better, it might not help me concentrate but I love the quiet silence that fills my brain. He pulls away, and I add it to another reason as to why I hate Marcus; He's so perfect, and I'm so desperate for him.

"You're hot when you're jealous" It takes me a couple seconds to react to his words, I was being for real, post-Marcus effect lingers for a bit before I regain control of myself. "I wouldn't call it jealousy" He rolls his eyes smiling, licking the corner of his mouth and I just know it's cause of his ego being filled up, he raises an eyebrow challenging me to explain myself. I start speaking a couple of times trying to defend myself, but pause before a single word can come out. I throw my head back groaning before dropping it on his shoulder, burrying myself in his shirt, relaxing at his sweet smell. "Okay, I was jealous, but I don't think it quite was that" He humms and I giggle when I feel his neck vibrate to produce the sound, "my head was turn between wanting to run away and cry, and the other part was begging me, screaming at me to just punch her away from you" I raise my head just as he rubs my waist up and down, shivering when it got a bit too low, curse the tickles. He looks into my eyes, but doesn't force mines to be on his, he knows I'm listening. "Love, you know how much I love you, right?" His voice is so soft it could put a baby to sleep, I adore it.

"You're amazing, you're sweet," he kisses my forhead, "you're funny" he kisses the tip of my nose, "you're a pure soul trapped in a hellhole" I chuckle even with my eyes slightly watering, he keeps going, "you're so loving, you're so lovable, you're so much that fuck if it wasn't cause I really, really, want to say something else, I could be here all day. You're enough" he kisses my lips, I taste my tears. "how did you know?" I plead him, he ruffles my hair. "that you were feeling insecure? Cause I'm the best boyfriend ever" I can't argue with that, I think to myself as he kisses me again after a soft laugh.

He grabs my hands, a tight embrace resembling those of sweet love stories. "I love you," he whisps melting inside my eyes. "I love you," I reply whising to whoever was listening for this moment to never end.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME-?!" Billy shouts.

[thesilliestlittlwguy]

sometimes i doubt that im aroace but then it gets very obvious. like rn when my allo boyfriend is like "ourghhhh i miss u" and i say "i miss you too" but i dont mean it in the same way he does. he loves me romantically, he can see people as cute and he gets romantically and sexually attracted to people. i dont. if i think someone is cute it's like aweeee that's adorable. like a puppy or a kitten. i don't get butterflies in my stomach and i don't get weak in the knees for somebody. i never will. and when i say "i miss u too" to my boyfriend i mean it the way i would mean it about any of my friends. i mean "I want to hang out with you and i think that it would be cool if i lay across your lap while we do our own things." i kiss my boyfriend, but i would also kiss any of my friends. and yeah that's not just me being aroace it's also me being autistic. tbh i dont know if i actually AM polyamorous, but. I feel the same way about all of my friends. I like my boyfriend the same amount i like queerplatonic partner the same amount i like my best friend the same amount i like my parents the same amount i like my brother. HOWEVER. it is NOT the same way. EACH PERSON IS DIFFERENT. this is important to acknowledge. you can be aromantic and polyamorous and it's really important to recognize that things like autism and adhd can affect how you view different kinds of love and relationships. sometimes i feel romance repulsed and sometimes i really crave a romantic relationship. sometimes i want to kiss everyone and sometimes i cant stand the thought of anything on my lips. sometimes im sex repulsed and other times im indifferent. everyone feels things differently and things shift and change and THAT IS OKAY.

[liminals-angel]

heyo

name: Ayrton (or Moainel, work in progress tbh)

nicknames: Ari, Bee, that fucked up thing in the corner

I can see it in the air, every word was like a smoke from a cigarette

You were blowin' in your hands, the heater broke in the Oldsmobile

pronouns: it/its/itself

neopronouns (PLEASE USE THESE I'M BEGGING YOU):

ae/aes/aeself

avi/avis/aviself

spiri/spirs/spirself

ano/anomaly/anoself

gli/glitch/glitchself

sta/static/staticself

eth/ther/etherself

lim/liminal/limself

ana/analog/anaself

lap/lapi/lapisself

dim/dims/dimself

end/ender/enderself

neth/nether/netherself

I was stranded in the bed, you were listening to "The Dark Side of the Moon"

I could barely see your eyes, psilocybin in a hotel room

~ atheist ~ christians i am not your angel ~

i do have a past life, with a few blurry memories. i was some sort of warrior, fighting a war against something or someone. i used dual butterfly knives, made out of a titanium-like metal. i know i fought back-to-back to someone, and that we were closer than the atoms in the universe. i hope to meet them once more.

my true appearance isn't that of a typical angel. i have wings behind my ears, neck, back, lower back, wrists, and ankles. i have fluffy and silky white hair, along with sky blue eyes. i wear practical and dark clothes, made for battle.

i am somewhat of a liminal angel. i occasionally produce distortions, static, and glitches. i am most comfortable in abandoned or empty places, such as a school after hours, an empty Target *cough* blog plug *cough* go follow @its-target-official *cough* or anything along those lines.

And the light in your eyes, the waves on the ceiling

I'll be your brightside, baby, tonight, I'll be your brightsidе, baby, tonight... tonight

i am safe for those who wish to be known and unknown, those who wish only to be heard, and those who want their peace. i am a small power, but my shrine is hidden away from prying eyes.

my domain is the forgotten things, the static, and knives.

i prefer to worship, but i take offerings. secrets, hopes, and wishes. feathers and bones and meat. candles and fire. anything you wish to let go.

you may approach me about worship and offerings, as i wish for anyone to devote myself to.

You were tired of Tacoma, I was tirеd of believing we were right

Losing every other friend, finding nothing in the afterlife

my human form is boring. as fuck. brown hair, green eyes, vampire skin, slightly chubby, missing eyelashes. nothing special. i like comfy and dark clothes. i also like to wear earrings, although executive dysfunction hates me, so i don't wear them often.

i am bodily a minor, no NSFW interaction. i mean it.

i go to the hell commonly known as school.

i have diagnosed ADHD, autism, depression, and severe anxiety. i'm currently questioning having bipolar, but that's unimportant.

But the light in your eyes, alone on a feeling

I'll be your brightside, baby, tonight, I'll be your brightside, baby, tonight... Tonight

my hobbies are listening to music, playing saxophone, drawing, reading, scrolling, and interacting with C. AI an unhealthy amount.

i like the Lumineers, the Revivalists, Hozier, Mumford & Sons, Vitamin String Quartet, and a few other miscellaneous artists. my favourite songs are BRIGHTSIDE, A. M. RADIO, How We Move, Hopeless Wanderer, Stand Up, Winter Winds, and Blind Leading the Blind.

my favourite books are Racing in the Rain, Hell Followed With Us, and Under the Whispering Door. my favourite movies are Interstellar, Twisters, and one i cannot remember at the moment.

my fandoms are DC, Danny Phantom, MCYT, DSMP, analog horror, and FNAF.

youtubers i like are Wendigoon, 4 Plus, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot (i am not here to discuss the recent issues; abuse is abuse but for the lOVE OF GOD SEPARATE THE ART FROM THE ARTIST), and Sam & Colby.

You're stranded on the bridge, you're crying for your kids

I'll be your brightside, baby, tonight, tonight, tonight

tagging system:

#liminalsangel - general tag

#liminalari - liminal posts

#angelari - angel posts

#aridoesart - any art posted

#arireblogs - random non angel related posts

#arihasfriends - interacting with friends

#arishrine - self explanatory

#ariworship - also self explanatory

#important - non angel related posts but they’re important

will add more. Probably.

DNI: radqueers, TERFs, zionists, exclusionists, p3dos, racists, zoos, people who engage in discourse in any area, anti-furry, anti-therian/otherkin, conservatives interested in arguing about shit, and that kinda of stuff.

this blog is run by @ari-cant-think

friend tags: @bored-dromaeosaur, @tameable50

[obsessive-clown]

Hello first time reader, May I please request Hcs for Yandere Nanami wherein after they save him in Shibuya they leave because they were wanted by the higher ups because their power is too powerful to control. How would he react to see their darling again roughly around the culling games arc ?

Hmm I like this idea! While I’m not too familiar with the Culling Games Arc, I tried reading as much as my ADHD mind would allow me… So, with that, allow me to try and tell you how I think this goes down.

༺✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧༻

Let’s say our lovely reader ends up arriving to save Nanami after he’s been fried like a piece of bologna…

— As if almost dying wasn’t scary enough, by the hands of Mahito, nonetheless, seeing you suddenly appear to save him instilled more fear into Kento. Mahito is no ordinary curse after all, and even if you are an incredibly powerful Jujutsu Sorcerer, Kento will always worry about your safety and wellbeing.

- You may not have eliminated the curse in question, but you damn sure put up a good fight and gave yourself and Kento enough time to escape. To say Kento is both surprised and grateful is an extreme understatement… The man is in awe, and more than likely getting butterflies every time the memory of you coming in to save him, replays in his mind.

- Kento refuses to rest. He refuses to not be around you, standing at attention in some sort of way. You may have saved him and proved to be perfectly capable of protecting yourself… But you’re his one and only, and every fiber of his being, no matter how much agony he may be in occasionally, tells him that he must be there to try to protect or help you if anything happens.

- You being wanted because of your power does not make Kento any less stressed. In fact, this ends up making him clingier than before. Far clingier. He always has an arm or hand settled on or around you in some way, keeping you close, no matter the situation or surroundings. He is also constantly trying to drag you around, insisting that you must keep moving, in order to avoid anything that could separate you two, this mainly being the higher-ups and anything regarding the culling games arc.

- (I’m not too familiar with the Culling Games arc, again, but I will use what very little knowledge I have) However, the CGA isn’t exactly avoidable, and someone with the power you contain, is of course, desired to be entered in the game.

- Assuming the two of you happen to be separated for an amount of time, Kento would be looking for you tirelessly. His body is very slowly recovering and his burns are improving, but all his energy goes into reconnecting with you. And once he finds you, during the CGA, he’s back to square one, clinging to you and giving you no space to breathe.

- There is absolutely no getting rid of Kento at this point and he has inevitably decided to help you get through the CGA, determined to make sure both you and him come out of this catastrophe alive. So much for that vacation to Malaysia he wanted to take with you, huh?

༺✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧༻

I’m sorry if I misunderstood or misinterpreted this ask, or it didn’t come out how you desired, I haven’t educated myself on the Culling Games Arc enough (and cannot bare to watch my man die in 4K on my phone). Either way, I hope you like this..!!!?

[kidstemplatte]

stuck

pairing: adhd terzo x adhd fem!reader

summary: terzo opens up about his struggles with focusing and reader gives him a suggestion.

Papa despised paperwork. There was nothing in the world worse than it. He didn’t like sitting in the same place for too long. It felt like his body was fighting against him; even when he had the perfect opportunity to complete his tasks, had all the resources in the world, he was still stuck. Like there was a barrier between himself and his work. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Primo had just handed you a folder of papers to bring to Terzo’s office. “Tell him to get on it.” He grumbled, knowing his brother’s tendency to procrastinate. You knocked gently on the large door, disappointed when you were not met with a response from his euphonic voice. Should you go in? Maybe you would just place it on his desk and leave. You carefully opened the door, tiptoeing into his office you two basically shared, and were faced with an unpleasant sight.

There Terzo sat, in some sort of paralysis, brow furrowed with his head lying in his hands next to the infinite stack of papers.

Now was definitely not time to give him more paperwork, you decided, quietly opening your desk and placing the folder inside before shutting it. It could wait.

“Hey Papa, what’s going on?” You said softly, gently setting aside the stack of papers and sitting in the seat across from him.

“Just… not in the mood.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone-“ You apologized, standing up and beginning to turn around.

“No, no, no.” He said, suddenly looking up and grabbing your hand, causing a halt in your breath. “I mean not in the mood for… this.” He explained, gesturing to the mess of papers in front of him.

Seeing Terzo in such a defeated state suddenly gave you an unfamiliar urge. You decided to take a leap of faith.

“Can I give you a hug?”

Sure, Terzo was touchy, but he settled down after quickly realizing physical contact wasn’t exactly your cup of tea. You never initiated touch. There were still some time-to-time occurrences; hands gently placed on your waist if he needed to squeeze past you, brushing something off your shoulder, the occasional kiss on your hand, all which gave you butterflies. He would be lying if he said he didn’t get a kick out of it too.

Terzo, as if he was waiting for you to ask, timidly nodded and stood up from his chair. You, without hesitating, approached him and lovingly wrapped your arms around him.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You reassured him, your warm bodies pressed together. You had never felt him this close before. It felt foreign, but oddly natural at the same time.“It’s okay. You’ll finish it. You always do. Do you want to take a break? Go for a walk?”

He nodded, his stern expression beginning to lighten up.

You two left your office and walked down the lengthy hallway, Terzo being more quiet than usual.

“So, what’s going on?” you gently prompted.

“I just… cannot bring myself to work.” he explained.

“Is something on your mind? Or do you not really know why?”

“It’s nothing in particular, I just feel like there is… something stopping me.”

“Like a wall?” you replied quickly.

How did you know?

“That is a good way to put it. Like a wall. Between me and what needs to be done.”

“Has it always been this way?” You asked.

“As long as I can remember, I have not been able to focus. I’m always running from one thing to the other. I cannot sit still, cannot get to work. My mind is un disastro.”

“Can I ask you a question?” you asked.

“Sure.” he replied.

“Do you have ADHD?”

“ADHD?” He paused and contemplated.

“I mean, I throw the term around sometimes as a joke. I never really thought about it seriously. I never thought of it as a condition, I just saw it as the way I am, a flaw I cannot fix.”

“If this is affecting your life, have you thought of seeing a professional?”

“Professional? Like a doctor?” he questioned.

“Maybe it could help?”

Terzo was by no means against the idea, but had his reservations about psychiatrists. He was raised in an environment where that wasn’t an option. The only cure was to toughen up, suck it up, hold it all inside.

“Maybe you’re right. Sometimes I want to understand why I am this way. Why I can never focus, stay still, do things right.”

“Do things right? That sounds a little different from the other things you mentioned. Who told you that?”

How did you just… say these things? Understand him so well?

Terzo sighed.

“I feel… like the dumbest of my brothers. I just don’t think like they do. Growing up, it was always, ‘Why can’t you be more like your brothers, Terzo? Why don’t you stop and think about something other than yourself? Realize your actions have consequences? You are an embarrassment, stop fucking around and grow up. You can’t do anything right.”

Papa?

An embarrassment?

What kind of monster could say such horrible things?

“Papa.” You said, tears welling up in your eyes.

“That makes me so fucking angry. If you take anything away from knowing me, from any of our conversations, let it be that you are the most intelligent, hardworking, caring, talented, and thoughtful person I have ever met. And I would never lie about that. There is nothing inside of you but good. And anyone who can’t see that, they’re the ones who aren’t thinking. Who gives a flying fuck if you’re ‘fucking around’, we’re in a Satanic church for fuck’s sale! Are we supposed to sit around like sex-deprived bible-thumpers? What the hell is Satanic about that? You’re an amazing Papa, the best Papa there’s ever been. And I don’t care who hears me.” You exclaimed, your voice echoing down the grand corridor.

“You’re an amazing person, an amazing performer, and an amazing friend.”

Shit. Friend? Were you allowed to say that?

“Thank you, Y/N.” he said. “Thank you. You always know what to say. I am sorry for getting so solemn all of a sudden. You’re right. I should see someone. I cannot treat you like my therapist. Sometimes I wish I was more like you.”

“What?”

“You are so diligent, focused, put together…”

“Me?” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Papa, I’m a mess. It’s all an act. I only manage to get things done because I want to be helpful to you. I don’t have my shit together, I just pretend I do. I’m constantly forgetting everything. I know how hard these things are. I have ADHD too.”

“What?” He exclaimed, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull.

“Yes.”

“You?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I would have never guessed.”

“I’ve learned to mask pretty well. But yeah, I have ADHD. Not to be rude, but I always kind of assumed you had it. I see some things in you I’ve struggled with myself. I should’ve asked if you were okay earlier.”

“No no no, it is not your responsibility. I need to handle this on my own. You have enough placed on you.”

“You’re not placing anything on me. I want to help.“ you reassured him, placing a hand on his arm.

Terzo gently collected your hand in his, raised it to his lips, and gave it a gentle kiss.

“Thank you, tesoro. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Your cheeks heated up at his praise.

“You don’t have to thank me, Papa. It’s what I’m here for.” You replied with a soft smile.

From that day on, you started doing little things for Terzo to help him stay on task. Leaving little sticky notes on his laptop; some useful, reminding him he had a meeting at 4, and some just for fun, doodles of cats resembling you and him with hearts drawn around them. Encouraging him to use a calendar to keep track of important deadlines. Helping him understand the wall would never go away, but there would always be a way to get through it. And you would build a hundred doors, tear holes in it brick by brick, carve archways into it, to make sure that happened. You would always be by his side, guiding him in the right direction each time he felt stuck.

He was stuck on you, that’s for sure.

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

this is SO self indulgent as someone with ADHD!! i hope you all enjoyed. more dad terzo coming soon hehe.

♡, alice

[iden-summers]

Weird Hades head canon collection of mine

Meg is terribly afraid of butterflies

Skelly invented the floss dance

Charon can't speak mortal languages because he has no tongue in a mortal sense

Hermes and his Coz Zagreus both have a thing for men with strong arms

Charon and his brother Thanatos both have a thing for men with strong thighs

Dusa can unhinge her jaw, and at one point teaches Zagreus how to do so. Now the gorgons of Asphodel are afraid of him

Zagreus is able to dislocate/bend most of his joints to a point it freaks most people out

Theseus dreamt about Asterius cheating on him once and got mad at Asterius

Zagreus casually T-poses Theseus into a corner of the stadium sometimes

Zagreus called Achilles "Mama" accidentally before, until he does it on purpose

The temple of Styx smells different from any other part of the Styx because it's the only place where real bodies are. Everywhere else it's just shades and cthonic gods, but the temple smells like sweet rot and decay from all the vermin and dead intruders falling to Cerberus

Asterius was the one teaching Dusa how to speak, back when they both resided in Erebus

Zagreus is partly blind on the red eye, but can see perfectly fine in darkness.

Zagreus ADHD behavior comes from Nyx actually. Both Persephone and Hades sit down and take breaks from time to time, Nyx is at peace to just stand around

Thanatos did not only ask for Nyx's but also for the blessing of Charon and Hypnos before he got together with Zag. He did however only sort of inform Hades, instead of asking his approval.

Zag says that Meg's whip is not all that persuasive but we all know he is absolutely into it

[animaginaryartblog]

[Image ID: a digital drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog and Marine the Raccoon on a white background. It is based on the "iPod Brothers" meme. Sonic stands behind Marine, one leg bent and the other extended. He has a fist on his hip and his other hand points into the air. He looks to the side with a grin, and a speech bubble coming from him says "Im AD". In the foreground is Marine, feet set apart and fists back like she's just leaped in front of Sonic. She grins with narrowed eyes, and a speech bubble coming from her mouth says "and im HD!". Beneath her, black text with a blue outline reads, "The ADHD Duo". /end ID]

disclaimer: I am not ADHD

finally made a follow up to my previous piece... or rather, I'm finally posting it. two months after the fact. honestly not bad given my track record. and it's just in time for Sonic's birthday too! happy birthday king!

as before, this is directly inspired by a Rise of the TMNT fan art I cannot find again for the life of me. if anyone reading this knows the fan art I'm talking about shoot me a link. please. I miss her.

aaand a less meme-y version

[Image ID: The same drawing as described above, now with a transparent background. The text is gone, and the lineart has been changed from black to light blue. A blue butterfly infinity symbol has been added behind the characters. /end ID]

Full disclaimer, I traced the butterfly from ADHD Grrl's original and then used a clipping mask to color and shade it. From what I could find online this seems to be the closest thing to an official ADHD symbol. I also couldn't find a color association like gold for autism. I tried looking for a similar periodic table connection, but I didn't find any particularly strong candidates. Does H2O count? it's got an h...

bonus

[Image ID: a two panel black-and-white comic.In the first, Marine and Sonic both have their hands on their chins, with Marine looking up at Sonic as he ponders. Blaze and Tails stand in the background, watching. Sonic says, "ADHD... allies? Associates?"

In the next panel, Sonic snaps his finger, eyes wide like he's had a revelation, while Marine has her fists up and an excited grin. "ADHD attaches," Sonic suggests. "ADHD Attackers!" Marine pitches. "ADHD Avengers," Sonic says. "ADHD Accomplices!" Marine throws in. Blaze watches the exchange with a flat, unimpressed expression, while Tails laughs, a sweat drop beading off his head. /end ID]

they are the sillies

solo versions under the cut

[Image ID: the same drawing with the butterfly symbol, but with just Marine. /end ID]

[Image ID: The same drawing, but with only Sonic. /end ID]

[trophyposting]

TROPHY HEADCANONS bc i am spinning him around in my mind 24/7

•he LOVES studio ghibli movies bc of the art. he saw some of the residents watching ponyo in the lobby and he did that thing where he just stood in one place not sitting down to watch it bc he didnt wanna seem like he liked it. but he does. his favorite scenes art-wise are the big zoomed out landscapes and that one scene in ponyo where the town is underwater

•he cries like super easily (see waffling about and this post) and he doesnt even have to be very upset either it just kind of happens. crybaby ass

•he is an (probably undiagnosed) adhd-haver. i dont really have any evidence for this i just feel it in my bones

•he has NPD. i do have evidence for this one actually but that would be a whole post on its own honestly

•eventually his interest in photography extends to an interest in things he likes to photograph (eg. plants/flowers and butterflies)

•when clover comes to the island trophy ends up photographing (and by extension hanging out with) her a lot because she's, like, supernaturally photogenic and trophy loves how photos of her turn out. they become friends :-)

•he actually does genuinely dominate at dodgeball bc it involves two of his favorite things: 1. violence and 2. targeting the most autistic people he can find. cheesy just happened to throw him off with that joke about balls (also one of his favorite things)

•there's gotta be like some actual psychological warfare shit going on between trophy and tissues bc not only are they both petty bitches (more accurately tissues is a petty bitch and trophy is quick to anger and holds grudges which creates a self-perpetuating cycle of bitchiness) and they also spent like,., months in a closet together which is of course a recipe for disaster. in the case of limegold they're like that post about having sex by standing on opposite sides of the room fully-clothed trying to explode each other with their minds

•if trophy and cabby met i think they would actually hit it off bc he loves talking about himself and cabby loves knowing things about people. i even think he would be understanding of her memory issues bc his adhd ass would be like "? you forget things sometimes? hey me too dw abt it" bc like. even if her memory problems are more severe than his he still, like, understands yk (i do NAWT CARE if this is ooc they mean everything. 2 me)

•if trophy and silver spoon met silver spoon would dislike him for being "uncivilized and uncouth" and trophy would dislike him for being a snob. i love the aesthetic of those two as a duo but sadly i can't imagine them befriending each other

•he's probably from some totally obscure and random state in the midwest. like, iowa or nebraska or something. minnesota perhaps

•he kind of knows, at least on some level, that his decision-making skills aren't. great. that knowledge has not and never will stop him from continuing to make questionable decisions

•he loves relaxing and being alone, probably more than anyone would expect. he does have a workout regimen as fan said but working out is really more of a meditative and stress-relieving activity for him even if he isn't really fully aware of it. this is also (at least part of the reason) why he loves photography

•he kind of hates sleeping in his room bc of tissues' sneezing so he's developed insomnia and kind of just. wanders around at night. when he does get tired he just falls asleep in random places, usually on the couch in the lobby but sometimes he just. passes out on the floor

•that is. it :-)

[novashelby]

100 Things Evie would have loved if she was thriving in her prime today~

A proper ADHD diagnosis.

Fidgets-especially the rainbow colored POP ITS.

Bubble wrap.

Bubbles....

Cat cafes

90's pop

7/11 slushies

7/11 Taquitos

Timothee Chalamet

XL Woopie Cushions

Try not to laugh challenges

Converse sneakers and normal trousers...for girls.

Shake and bake chicken

Food delivery apps

Frozen fish sticks

Disney World (Tommy: I'm not standing in those lines to go down a hill and say 'weee').

Fuzzy socks

slip n' slides (Grace: please don't hurt yourself....)

Beer pong....(Tommy: I didn't send you to UNI for this...)

Winning at beer pong (Tommy: At least you won...)

Karaoke nights at the bar (Ada: Oh no....)

male strip clubs (Polly: You need a chaperone...)

The electric slide....

The YMCA (Finn: Does she ever realize she's the only one dancing!? Evie: BUT LOOK AT ME GO!)

Dance, Dance revolution (Evie: TAKE THAT MOTHA FUCKA'! Finn: It's a...machine)

ROCK n ROLL

Dance offs

SUPER SIZE McDONALDS FRIES

Bottomless wings

Eating challenges

BOTTOMLESS MARGARITAS

Pride Month

Pogo sticks

90 Day Fiance (Finn: Stop making me watch these things, please.)

My 600ib Life

Squishmallows (Tommy: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SLEEP WITH ALL THIS SHITE ON YOUR BED!?)

Getting her nose pierced (Tommy: fuckin' ell).

Her and Martha piercing each other's belly buttons (Tommy: Imma fuckin' kill you...)

Going in an airplane

Haunted houses (Finn: Stop making me do these things....)

Family Therapy (All of them: Probably advisable)

Therapy

Being able to sleep until noon (Tommy: Are you going to sleep all day? //7:00am)

Conga lines

Birth control

Pizza for breakfast (Polly: why are you eating it cold!?)

All you can eat Chinese buffets (Tommy: where are you putting it all? Evie: Right here...*pats tummy*)

Smut

gay smut

Socially acceptable fart jokes (Tommy: Wasn't very funny the first time. John: I thought it was...)

Hawaiin dinner rolls

Frozen pizza

Among Us

Family movie nights

Trivia night at the bar

Putting a Furby in Finn's room (Finn: eeeww)

Putting her family members on Tinder (Arthur: Why did I bump into five women who knew me!?)

Stupid TikTok challenges

Magic Mike

Eating a whole can of whipped cream

Dong Chim up all her family's butt cracks (John: 🫨🫨🫨🫨)

Cat memes (Tommy: Evie, what does it mean when it says on Facebook...you been tagged? Oh, hey, look at that...ha-ha).

Trampoline parks

Arcades

Air hockey...

Kick Finn's ass at air hockey (Finn: 🖕🖕🖕)

Sliding across the wooden floors in fuzzy socks

Trick or Treating

Obnoxious unicorn fleece onsies

Being in control of her own reproductive health

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

Oogly eye stickers (Tommy: My poor portrait... Grace: Don't you think it's a little...obnoxious to have a self portrait in the family room? Shouldn't you have a family portrait?)

Scrunchies

Butterfly clips (Tommy: *steps on one* 🤬🤬🤬🤬)

Loud music while she drives (Tommy: *Uses Evie's Car* EVIE! My fuckin' ear drums!)

Raw Pillsbury cookie dough (Ada: You're suppose to bake it...)

Netflix...Disney Plus

Peter Kavinsky

Packaged ramen

Lactaid

Bongs

Crowd surfing at concerts

Mash pits

Jumping on hotel beds

Rock walls

Dying her hair stupid colors (Tommy: At least you look like a clown now)

Fart spray (Tommy: Why does my office smell?)

Fake IDs

Spotify wrapped

Gray sweats on men

Wearing shorts (Tommy: Evie, go put something else on, eh?)

Social acceptance of being a little chonky

Nerf guys (Finn: OW! WTF)

Limbo (how low can you go!?)

Going to a 24/7 store in her PJs (Polly: How classy...)

Fist bumps

Burping the ABCs (Polly: Very classy....

Sending stupid Snaps to the family group chat...(Tommy: Evie, where did it go?! The picture....)

Answering 'who dis?' every time Finn texts her (Finn: I'm done...)

24/7 drive throughs

[55sturn]

✮⋆˙rollin’ got me stargazing!

name: just call me star! [ if you know me through dms, keep my actual name off the tl please! ]

personality info: infp-t [ mediator ], lowk insane extrovert, emotionally unstable, adhd + anxiety personified, fire sign, blunt, can be abrasive, and not scared to stand up for people/what i believe in.

fav artists: dominic fike, travis scott, brent faiyaz, mac miller, tyler the creator, lil skies, kendrick, the weeknd, frank ocean, sza, megan thee stallion, steve lacy, taylor swift, nessa barrett, and montell fish.

fav youtubers: sturniolo triplets, remi cruz, jenn mcallister, good mythical morning.

fav colours: red + orange

fav animals: deer, ducks, frogs, otters, cats, butterflies, ladybugs, possums.

misc: major energy drink enthusiast, caffeine addict, come back to earth by mac miller coded, deer!reader protector, snake!reader coded, tumbler cups galore, fuzzy plaid pj pants, hair tie hoarder, lover of all things horror and trashy y2k, hopeless romantic.

BACK!

[tweeksandturns]

So...

Scar Impulse and Gem were trying to get Grian to work on the back of his base, but Grian didn't want to, so he grabbed ahold of scars adhd (talked about seeing the tunnel-bore) and the two of them went there. Scar and Grian pressed a button too many times, and it blew itself up.

Doc was angry (of course, he had the rights) so he got back at them by, 1. breaking Grians nether portal so it was one sideways block, and 2. getting wither skulls to float in Scarland.

Neither side did much after this for a while, but eventually, Doc got a purple crown and put it on a Zombie in front of Mumbos base.

Grian, under the assumption that anyone with a purple crown would be Mumbo's best friend, Killed the zombie for the crown. He didn't know that Doc had made a redstone contraption so that when that zombie died, it blew up the entrance to Mumbos base.

Grian physically, spiritually, and emotionally didn't know how to fix that, but Mumbo more or less found it funny.

During this time, Zedaph was trying to find a dragon egg, and had gained some information that Grian had a ton (from duplicating them), so He went to Grian for it. Grian built an elaborate treasure hunt for the egg Zedaph wanted, and at one point, got Zedaph to blow up a wall in docs base (a wall that Zedaph didn't replace) in order to find the next clue.

Grian and Scar(Read: Poultryman and Hotguy) entered the perimeter, and created their own redstone contraption that spawned thousands of chickens into the perimeter (and also unintentionally moved the ender dragon because that area was chunk-loaded I think).

Doc got kinda angry, and Teleported the chickens into Grian's base, which let the chickens roam free anywhere they could. At some point, I think it was proxy honestly, Mumbo got involved. Doc, in his angry, created an insane dragon egg duplicator and dumped all of the eggs onto the three of their bases. (THIS MAY HAVE BEEN AFTER THE ENTIRE BUTTERCUP THING, I DO NOT REMEMBER)

Mumbo, Scar, and Grian team up, and call themselves the buttercups, because buttercups are poisonous to goats (albeit the fact that Doc is a butterfly now, not a goat). They build some camps on the edge of the Perimeter, and Grian writes "Live Laugh Love" on Docs walls. Doc HATES this, and Ren (I don't know when they teamed) builds a secret area underneath the Buttercups camp so that they could hear whatever the Buttercups were planning.

The buttercups plan to put another motivational quote on the perimeter, and Doc outs him and Ren, and the two sides decide, "You know what. Robots." and get their robots to fight for them. The buttercups buttercupbot explodes, and dies, but gets rid of the goat's ability to move.

Ren and Doc, have a backup plan though, and the two of them get on the butterflies that Doc built, and speed toward Grians and Scar's bases. Mumbo, Grian, and Scar stop them luckily, but it was kind of close. Doc and Ren lose for then, but Doc doesnt stand down.

Doc builds an intercom that plays his voice (and that also caused tango to leave because the range was scuffed for a bit) and he also got rid of the "Live Laugh Love" sign replacing it with "GOAT: Grind, optimize, automate, thrive."

He also puts a large target on the button half of it, with 4 target blocks in the middle.

Scar gets the wonderful idea of "Why don't we fly into the target blocks" and so he and Grian do. Neither of them thought that that would actually set off the target blocks, but it does (because apparently, players are projectiles) and the Redstone sets off a little animation that Doc made and blows up the buttercups base.

Doc left to go on vacation before this, but Grian and Scar made a new Base in the form of a Cherry bonsai in the flowerpot they made for the buttercupbot. Nothing has happened since that we know of.

(SOMEONE PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I MADE ANY MISTAKES, THIS MESSAGE HAD A LOWER THAN 100 CHARACTERS LEFT, OUT OF 4000 ON DISCORD)

[karmatheprowlthra]

Apologies if today's post sounds like insane rambling. 3.5 hours of sleep and a long day of the army ruining my mood have not been fantastic for my mental health x3 Today I think I'm gonna talk about Karma's main snak Space! He was mentioned in the last post under the name Vasya, so if you're confused, don't you worry! Since it's a long post, I'm gonna put it under a cut x3

This is Vasya Kayashi! His nickname is Space because he has ADHD and has a lot of trouble focusing on any specific subject for too long. You could say he spaces out *wheeze* Okay sorry, bad joke. Space stands at 5'9" or 1.75 meters tall. He weighs about 170lbs, mostly muscle and a lil bit of chub (he cuddly boi :3). He is a sand cat, particularly known as a Runecian sand cat because that's where he is from. Like Karma, he (and everyone else in my worldbuilding) has a different anatomy than you might see most of the time, but lacks most of the abilities that the bigger felines like Karma have. Space, like Karma, is a soldier by trade! Being much smaller, he is far less aggressive than his large companion, but also far more methodic with his work. While Karma uses his strength to outright destroy his enemies, Space prefers to engage them from medium distance, or in ambush attacks.

Space's personality is a blend between introvert and extrovert. If he gets to know you well, he will happily talk your ear off about both his favorite subjects and yours. He loves to hear about the stories and things that people create, and enthusiastically encourages you to make the best that you can! However, if he doesn't know you well, he'll be very hesitant to engage in a conversation. He hates talking to authority figures aside from Karma, it gives him butterflies in his tummy.

Space is fond of video games, indoor rock climbing, writing and playfully fighting with others. He also enjoys betting, particularly with small prizes like who pays for dinner one night while everyone is on leave! He strongly dislikes tomatoes, excessive amounts of melted cheese, useless military regulation and running. Space was raised in the suburbs of his desert city and lived a relatively sheltered life. He decided at 17 years old that the military life was something he wanted to pursue and enlisted, joining the new specialized corps that were being introduced at the time. By sheer luck, he was assigned under Karma's leadership! The big feline quickly took Space under his wing, adopting him as a tiny and protecting him fiercely (I have some cute art I will share soon :3). At 19 years old, Space has served dutifully for upwards of two years. He has had many close calls that flare Karma's protective instincts, most notable of which was an encounter with an IED that left a deep scar over Space's right eye. The little sand cat was traumatized by the event, but ultimately recovered thanks to Karma's comforting and some quick medical treatment. Space is Karma's go-to snak for multiple reasons, among them being:

Space is a very tasty boi

Space needs comforting and seeks out Karma almost nightly, resulting in him having more belly time than every other Karma snak combined. The warmth and soft cozy flesh feel like a very comfortable weighted blanket to him, and he cozies right up without a care in the world :3

Space likes to squirm and massage Karma's soft tum from the inside, knowing how Karma enjoys internal belly rubs

Space is by far the least likely to complain if Karma eats him unwarranted. Even annoyance will quickly dissolve into purrs and nuzzles once he relaxes into the warm soft fleshy muscle!

That's about it for a simple description! Feel free to ask questions if you wish :3

(Important note! None of my characters respond well to teasing, and any preyish characters tend to be prey only to my other characters unless I know whoever wishes to do the nomming thoroughly! Please get to know me first if you wish to nom/be nommed by anyone uwu Also please refrain from making comments regarding these characters too vorish, I don't know exactly how to respond-)