#the boy next door 2015
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Noah Sandborn NSFW Alphabet
word count: 1.9k
a/n: i know he isn't one of the people I usually write for, but I could not turn down this request!! he's just so pretty, and crazy, and possessive<3 enjoy!
warnings: possessive/stalker behaviour, smut (obviously lol), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
This man will. not. let. you. go. He’s fucking clinging to you and telling you how much he loves you and how good you felt. I feel like it’s not so much aftercare as it is him reassuring himself that you’re not going to leave him, but I’d say it still counts because it helps calm you down and lull you to sleep.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
We all saw that scene, right? This man is OBSESSED with your tits, and he’s his happiest when he’s looking at/touching/kissing them<3 A close second is your soft belly, because of how much it makes you squirm when he’s pressing hot kisses down the valley of your breasts, to your tummy, and finally to your core.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He’s so obsessed with the idea of having you as his little housewife, but I just don’t see him being overly in love with the idea of kids. Even then, kids getting you pregnant would be the ultimate way to ensure you don’t leave him, so most times he’s definitely waiting too long to pull out. “Sorry, baby. You just feel so good.” he’d whisper in a feigned guilty tone, although his eyes are glued to the way his cum drips out of you.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
panty stealer🫵🏻panty stealer🫵🏻
This man is a fucking creep (affectionate), and before, or even after he had you the first time, you would definitely notice some of your prettier panties going missing. At first, maybe before he finally had you sprawled out on his bed, you’d notice some are missing, and you’d begin to think that the washer is eating them. Then, when you’re leaving his house the morning after your first time, you don’t find your panties in the spot you’re sure you saw him throw them, and that's when you begin to put the pieces together.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
I think he tends to wait for the right person, although he’s definitely had his fair share of one night stands that just weren’t special enough. Not as special as you. He’s not inexperienced, but he’s also not super experienced. But what he lacks in experience, he makes up for with his pure desperation to please.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary. He may be a little crazy (again, affectionate), but I don’t think he’s especially freaky in terms of postions, especially because he wants a normal life with you more than anything else. He would definitely do any position you ask of him, desperate to have you stay with him, but if he could choose, he’d make sure his view of your chest and belly are never restricted. Also, he would definitely make sure you’re comfortably laid out on the bed before he’s burying himself to the hilt (if he can hold himself back that long lol).
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He’s so fucking serious in the moment omg. He’s fucking whiny and desperate for you, and his mind is so clouded by thoughts of you that any resemblance of a tease or joke dies on his lips before he can say them.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I think he keeps it pretty neatly trimmed; trying to be perfect for you. I think he prefers his partner to do the same. He doesn’t necessarily prefer it completely bare, but keeping it nice and trimmed for him makes him feel good.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
If it’s planned, he’s romantic as FUCK. Rose petals, candles, wine. Everything is perfectly planned. If it’s unplanned, however, he needs you so badly that he doesn’t notice anything else but you. He IS complimenting you and worshipping you the entire time, though, so I think that counts.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He’s definitely not opposed to it; he can’t have you every minute of every day, after all. And it's so odd that your window happens to be right across from his, giving him a perfect view of you when his hand is stroking his leaking cock. This is especially useful when you’re alone late at night, and he has the chance to get off while watching you get off. Nothing turns him on more than just you existing, completely unaware ignoring his wandering eyes.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Praise: He loves to praise you; he loves the way your face lights up when he does it in, or out of the bedroom. He praises you both with words and with touches; caressing your cheek or your neck, or any other part of your body that he can reach. He loves reminding you how much he loves your body and how good you’re being for him, especially after you do something wrong, and he’s finished correcting you. He loves receiving praise just as much, though. He loves to hear how good he’s doing, how much you need him, how big he is, how well he’s filling you up. The list goes on.
Predator/Prey: I think this goes along with the housewife idea I mentioned earlier; he loves the idea of cutting you off from everyone and having you depend solely on him. Because of this, he also sort of loves the idea of him having to chase you if you run away. “Where are you going, sweetheart? You know I’m the only one who can take care of you like you need, the only one that understands you. Come back to me baby, now.”
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He’s a possessive motherfucker, and therefore loves to see you sprawled across his bed, head on his pillow and pussy glistening as you await his aching cock. He loves when you throw your head back, hands gripping his sheets as you fall apart on his mouth or his fingers, and he especially loves it when your releases drip down your thighs and onto his bed.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
He loves the idea of coming home to you after a hard day, and having you cook for him. Acting like a little housewife is his wet dream. If he’s greeted with a soft smile from you and a delicious smell wafting into the entryway from the kitchen, he knows that by the time he’s ready to actually eat the food, it’ll be either cold or burned. He’d much rather have his perfect girl for dinner instead.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He would absolutely not be into hurting you in the bedroom (unless you disobey him, of course, and his anger gets the best of him). But other than that, I don’t think there’s much he wouldn’t do, although he doesn’t really do anything crazy unless you ask.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Have I mentioned lately how much he wants to please you and make you stay with him? Because of that, he definitely presents as more of a giver; if given the choice, he would happily choose dipping his head between your thighs until you’re cumming on his tongue. When he uses his mouth on you, he’s greedy; desperate to feel your release on his tongue, and he’s never able to hold back from using his fingers when you’re close to the edge. As true as this is, he loves when you use your mouth on him. The sight, the sound, the feeling, the power? He loves it even more than having you squirming and bucking your hips against his face. His sadistic side comes out whenever you decide to get on your knees for him, and by the time he’s cumming hard down your throat, he’s roughly fucking your throat, eager to see you swallow his load. If he can’t claim you by filling up your sweet pussy with his seed and getting you pregnant, he’ll happily compromise by filling up your belly this way. It holds him over until he actually gets you pregnant.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
I think for the most part he’s more slow and sensual, although when he gets closer and closer to the edge, his pace gets faster and sloppy. I think he’d be rough when he’s upset with you, as he prefers that than actually getting violent with you for not doing what he says outside of the bedroom, but it would very rarely get too rough. At the end of the day, you’re still his beautiful girl, and he needs you with him always.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves a good quickie. This man will never turn down any opportunity to have you, and if you’re both busy, he’ll have you bent over the nearest surface so he can feel you. Of course he’d rather be able to take his time with you, but he could never ever turn you down.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He’ll experiment if you really want to, but for the most part he won’t deviate from what he knows. In terms of risking getting caught, absolutely not. You’re for his eyes only, and he wouldn’t want to go through the hassle of having to kill a man for seeing your pretty body. His pretty body.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
I kinda wanna says he’s fucking out after one, like he’s cuddling up with you, and he’s asleep before he can even think about going another round. But sometimes, if he has to teach you a lesson for making him jealous/not listening to him, he has you cumming at least 3 times before he even thinks about slipping his cock into your dripping cunt.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I don’t think he’d be particularly interested in toys, and to be honest, I think he would see them negatively at first. “Do I not make you feel good, sweetheart? Am I not good enough?” I think after some convincing, he’d be most interested in a cock ring, because while it gives both of you pleasure, it’s something targeted towards his pleasure, and he wouldn’t see it as something to compete with.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves to tease you; it proves to him that you want him just as bed, but he can never keep it up for long. He’d be giving you less than innocent touches, and whispering just-innocent-enough things in your ear, which makes you bite your lip and squeeze your legs together. As soon as he sees how worked up you get, though, he’d be pushing you against the nearest service and ripping your clothes off.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
HE’S SO GODDAMN LOUD!! He’s so whiny, and he moans in your ear so much!! He’s so caught up in your tightness, and the way you clench around him that he can’t fight back the moans and whines escaping his lips, whispers of praise slipping out between moans too.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I headcanon that while he doesn’t like to hurt you, his one exception is when he’s taking you from behind. He doesn’t know what comes over him, but his hand is going to your hair, tugging the roots hard as he increases the pace of his thrusts. He loves the way you whine, a hint of pain mixed with your pleasure, and he can’t help but smack your ass hard every now and then, too, just to hear the pain laced through your moans.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
6 inches, slim. Grower, not a shower.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
I think his sex drive is pretty high, but he’s able to push it aside a lot of the time if the situation isn’t right. If it were up to him, he’d have you at least once a day, but if something comes up, he’s able to push his desire to the side and focus on the other thing.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He can fall asleep very fucking quickly; his head between your breasts as he slowly drifts off to sleep. While he does take the time to pull you into his arms and praise you for a while, once his head hits your chest, he’s a fucking goner.
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#the boy next door#the boy next door 2015#ryan guzman#noah sandborn#noah sandborn x plus size!reader#noah sandborn x plus size reader#noah sandborn x reader#noah sandborn imagine#noah sandborn oneshot#noah sandborn fic#noah sandborn headcanon
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Jennifer Lopez in The Boy Next Door (2015)
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The Boy Next Door (2015)
In dem US-amerikanischen Thriller verliebt sich eine alleinerziehende Mutter in ihren viel jüngeren Nachbarn, der eben nebenan eingezogen ist. Sie merkt zunächst nicht, dass ihr Liebhaber sich als fanatischer Stalker entpuppen wird.
(4/10)
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Introducing Yandere Movie Week

Where we watch and review seven yandere movies! What can you expect? Popcorn (obviously) but also in-depth reviews, breakdowns of yandere tropes in cinema, and short fics inspired by the movies. Are you ready for plenty of psycho men, shirtless shower scenes, and constant torment? If so, get your snacks ready, bring out your favourite dubiously legal pirating website and let Yandere Movie Week begin!
Here's the line up!
Day 1 - Fear (1996)
Day 2 - Secret Obsession (2019)
Day 3 - Hush (2016)
Day 4 - The Perfect Guy (2015)
Day 5 - The Boy Next Door (2015)
Day 6 - The Invisible Man (2020)
Day 7 - Til Death Do Us Part (2017)

Fear (1996)
Review 8/10 Story 1.7k words
Nicole Walker, a 16-year-old girl, meets the charming David McCall at a nightclub, following which the two fall in love with each other. However, things take a turn when David reveals his darker side.

Secret Obsession (2019)
Review 6/10 Story 5k words
Jennifer wakes up after a traumatic attack with amnesia and a doting husband caring for her, but she soon realises that the real danger is far from over.

Hush (2016)
Review Story 5.2k words
Living peacefully in the woods, an author, who is hard of hearing and without speech, finds herself a target of a masked killer.

The Perfect Guy (2015)
Review Story
Leah Vaughn, a successful lobbyist, breaks up with her long-term boyfriend, Dave, and enters into a relationship with a stranger. She finds herself caught in a dilemma when Dave re-enters her life.

The Boy Next Door (2015)
Review Story
When Claire Peterson engages in a steamy affair with Noah Sandborn, a man much younger than herself, little does she realise the consequences of her actions will have a perilous outcome.

The Invisible Man (2020)
Review Story
Cecilia's abusive ex-boyfriend fakes his death and becomes invisible to stalk and torment her. She begins experiencing strange events and decides to hunt down the truth on her own.

Til Death Do Us Part (2017)
Review Story
Michael and Madison had planned to spend the rest of their lives together, until one day Michael's controlling ways ruined their perfect marriage. Madison meets Alex Stone and learns to love again, until Michael re-appears in her life.

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dead boy detectives reading list
with the show finally out i figured it was a great time to share my reading list again! check it out below the cut ���☠️🔎

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⏳ the sandman #25 (1991)
this is their first appearance!

🐇 the children's crusade (1993)/free country: a tale of the children's crusade (2015)
1. the children's crusade #1
(2. black orchid annual #1
3. animal man annual #1
4. swamp thing annual #7
5. doom patrol annual #2
6. arcana annual #1)
7. the children's crusade #2
alternatively you can just read free country. whether or not you read the annuals i recommend reading free country's middle chapter
!!! in place of the annuals there is an additional middle chapter that was created for the book "free country: a tale of the children's crusade" where it is placed between the two children's crusade issues. the boys don't actually appear in most of the annuals (they are in two panels of swamp thing and appear in doom patrol) and reading them isn't necessary but i figured i would include them as they are part of the story.

❄️ winter's edge #3 (2000)
this is an anthology. their part is the 'books of magic: waiting for good dough' story starting on page 19

🐦⬛ the sandman presents: the dead boy detectives (2001, 4 issues)
i believe the tv show's esther finch was partially based on this run's villain.
*
(they do have a part in 'death: at death's door' from 2003. it's short and really just a retelling of events from sandman #25 with some minor changes. the entirety of their appearance in death: at death's door is included at the end of the next comic im listing so i am not really adding the death: at death's door book to the list)

☠️ the dead boy detectives (2005, one-shot)
this book was made by jill thompson in a very cute manga-esque style

👻 ghosts (2012), time warp (2013), the witching hour (2013)
these three are anthologies. the story 'the dead boy detectives in: run ragged' runs through all of them. 'run ragged' kicks off the next run.

🔮 from the pages of the sandman: dead boy detectives (2013, 12 issues)
this is the comic where crystal is introduced! a book collecting all 12 issues titled 'dead boy detectives by toby litt & mark buckingham' was released in 2023

🔎the sandman universe: dead boy detectives (2022, 6 issues)
the most recent run, centered around some really interesting thai mythology and featuring multiple edwin moments that i am sure you will love
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and that's everything! i also recommend buying the omnibus if you can. it includes everything minus the 2022 run plus some additional bonus content!

i hope this is helpful! feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the comics. dead boy detectives is my number one interest so i should be able to answer
have fun reading! 👻
#dead boy detectives#the sandman#the sandman universe#comics#reading list#edwin paine#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#painland#paynland#i really hope i didnt mess up while making this post fjdkfkjdkf
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Ryan Guzman as Noah Sandborn The Boy Next Door, Dir. Rob Cohen (2015)
#911 cast#ryan guzman#mine#the boy next door#filmedit#movieedit#junkfooddaily#ryanguzmanedit#moviegifs#tumblr has done something funny with the quality of these#i dunno#he's so young in this#just a baby#also this movie was not good and it is a horror film so ryan's character is the villian but he looks pretty
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The Art of Being Seen - a Nancy Landgraab story
୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨
𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔗𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔢- 𝔚𝔦𝔣𝔢
Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort
Part III - Wife - Nancy recalls her life as a wife, mother, and businesswoman (we begin at the year 1998 and then time skip to 2007 and again to 2015). Nancy has chosen to put her past behind her and is working hard to continue elevating her family's business while raising two rambunctious boys with her husband and business partner, but is it all truly enough to keep her past and her desires at bay? Can she continue playing the perfect wife and mother when temptation shows up at her front door?
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, drug use, sex and nudity.
Transcript under the cut
Nancy Narrates: [Geoffrey proposed our junior year of university. I said yes]
Nancy Narrates: [Not a minute after graduation, I was walking down the aisle. I was ready to become a wife]
Nancy Narrates: [Ready for my parents to look at me with pride in their eyes]
Nancy Narrates: [I was going to be great]
Nancy Narrates: [On that day, I made a vow to my best friend]
Nancy Narrates: [A promise to stand by his side, in sickness and in health]
Nancy Narrates: [To be true and faithful to him]
Nancy Narrates: [So help me God]
Nancy Narrates: [I decided to pack away my past and leave it all behind me. This was the life I chose. I chose to be good. Normal. I chose him, and all that came with it]
Geoffrey: Goinggg uuup!
Nancy: [laughs]
Nancy: [whispers] Hey, you’re not asleep, are you?
Geoffrey: [grumbles] M’sorry. Too drunk for more, I think.
Nancy: [chuckles] It’s fine. You can sleep.
Geoffrey: [sighs] Hey. I wanna have a buncha babies.
Nancy: Oh, so you’re really drunk then.
Geoffrey: M’serious. Want 4 boys, 4 girls. All name Geoffrey Jr. and Nancy Jr. At least one’s named is Zachary.
Nancy: Hey, listen here, lover boy. Let’s just enjoy this. Just you and me and us trying not to drown in the work my parents give us.
Geoffrey: And then babies?
Nancy: [hums] Maybe babies. Give me a year to think about it, ok?
Geoffrey: [sighs happily] I love you. My wife.
Nancy: I love you too.
Nancy Narrates: [I was elated. I was a woman who was capable of loving a man. I was a woman who was capable of making love. I’ve never felt more hopeful. My future never felt so bright-]
Nancy Narrates: [And just like that, the high was over]
Geoffrey: Hey, Nance? Are you missing work again today? Your mom has been really... erm, Queenie-ish the past week with you being out. I’m scared she’s going to actually bite me. [chuckles nervously]
Nancy: Damn you, Geoffrey! What happened to a year? It’s barely been 90 days!
Geoffrey: Wha-
Nancy: I should have known, you can barely pull out of the driveway properly!
Geoffrey: Wait, you’re pregnant?
Nancy: [scoffs] You don’t sound very sorry about it!
Geoffrey: You’re pregnant! I’m going to be a dad?!
Geoffrey: [sings] I’m your baby’s daaadddy!
Nancy: [sniffles, laughs] I can’t believe you did this. I could strangle you.
Geoffrey: Hey, we did this. Me and you.
Nancy: God, what are we going to do with a baby? I don’t even think I’ve ever met a baby.
Geoffrey: We got this, Nancy. It’s us, we’re talking about. We’ll be great!
Nancy Narrates: [Who would have thought; a wife and soon a mother. This was the life I chose]
-
Queenie: You should head home, Nancy. I’ve scheduled you a prenatal massage to your residence for this evening. I’ll have my intern take over your projects for the time being.
Nancy: Oh. Thank you, mother. That’s very kind of you.
Queenie: It’s the least I could do. You are carrying my grandson, after all.
Queenie: [murmurs] My lucky girl.
Nancy Narrates: [A wife, a mother, the perfect daughter]
-
Nancy: [howls]
Doctor: We’re going to give one big push, ok mom? You’re doing great! Ok, now push, Mrs. Landgraab!
Geoffrey: You are doing great, Nancy! Wow! You’re amazing! That’s it, just keep breathing. In and out. In and out-
Nancy: Aughhhh! Geoffrey, shut the fuck up!
Geoffrey: Okay!
Doctor: And push!
[infant wails]
Doctor: Congratulations mom and dad! A boy!
Nancy Narrates: [This was the life I chose]
#the art of being seen#the landgraabs#tw unexpected pregnancy#tw pregnancy#tw child birth#nancy landgraab#geoffrey landgraab#johnny zest aka Jonathan Landgraab#ts4 simblr#sims 4#sims 4 simblr#sims 4 stories
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Don't think about backing down, honey. You said about wanting to feel feminine in the past. I think it's time we take our relationship to the next level. As girls. It's now or never.
It's probably not Woman Crush Wednesday by the time I post this, but I wanted to talk about it anyway. Those of you who have seen this beautiful woman have heard about a certain Vicki Li. She is a Chinese model who has gained a huge following for the past decade or so for her gorgeous looks and seductive aura. I know it may sound repetitive at this point, but it's definitely true. The image you see is from 2015. She still looks around the same, if not, much more hotter!
Now just imagine you have a girlfriend like her and you've dated her for quite some time, to the point where you both live together. She thinks about her future and she sees you in them. The thing is, you also think about yours and the image of yourself is much more different. You mentioned to her about wanting to feel like a woman in a more jokingly way for laughs. But now, you mentioned the same thing to her and nobody is laughing anymore.
Your relationship has been in the rocks lately and she felt that was because of age, infidelity, or exhaustion from real life problems. Now, she realizes it's because you're most likely trans. Time passes by and one day, you come back home tired from a long day of work. As you open the bedroom door to fire up the games console to play a gaming session with the boys, you find your girlfriend dressed in red lingerie in a seducing way. You ask her in polite words, "What's this?"
Her response: "Tonight's session will be with me. But this time, there will be no boys. Are you in?"
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☕Roman Reigns Menu☕

☕SIGNATURE DRINKS☕
Entangled
In a wealthy Hartford, CT suburb, two best friends fall into a tempting storm when a rich, devastatingly handsome man moves in next door. Wealthy, irresistible, and dangerously disruptive. Passion, jealousy, and chaos ignite…and nobody’s playing it safe. Based on characters from The Boy Next Door. [In progress]
Finding Angel (BRAND NEW)
In a world of bright lights, dark secrets, and sizzling chemistry, pro wrestling's biggest star finds his Angel. But as undeniable as their passion is, so are the obstacles threatening to tear them apart. [In progress]
The Boy Next Door
A sexy mysterious man is new in town…but mystery is not all he brings with him… (Co-written with @harmshake) AU romance/psychological thriller. [Completed]
Power Couple - The Series
They say, “Behind every great man stands a great woman”. But behind the Universal Champion and the Tribal Chief is a different breed of woman, a force of nature capable of bringing even the Head of the Table to his knees…and vice versa. [Completed]
Into The Deep End - The Saga
Sasha has always tried to play it safe, to keep her life as simple and risk-free as possible. Things change, however, when she garners the interest of a handsome, charming, younger man from a completely different world than hers. As she starts to question her own rules, is she ready to take the biggest chance of them all? Will she let herself take that dive? My very first Roman fic set circa 2014. [Completed]
Targets
Roman Reigns is an agent in the secret organization The Authority and one of the world’s deadliest assassins. When he crosses paths with a mysterious woman during an assignment, he makes a life-changing decision that switches his role from the hunter to the hunted. (AU Espionage Story) [Completed]
Roman & Jaida: The We Are Series
He’s not her most favorite person in the world, but she finds it in her heart to be there for him in his time of need. In return, he shows her just how much he appreciates it. Set around the events of the 2015 Royal Rumble and the Blizzard Raw the night after. [Completed]
You Consume Me
She was beautiful, tempting, carefree, and everything I thought I wanted in a woman. One taste and I was hooked, abandoning everything and everyone I cared about to be with her. What I failed to see was the other side of her; a side that was dark, dangerous…Deadly. [Completed]
Come What May
Today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. So why did she feel like she was making the biggest mistake of her life? (Roman Reigns/OC/Tama Tonga) [Completed]
☕DOUBLE SHOTS☕
You Again
That awkward moment when the biggest star in pro wrestling happens to be your high school bully…and he’s in your office. A 2-part series [Completed]
Talking Body
Photoshoots, lingerie and a long overdue baecation are in store for Roman and Gia heading into their five-year(ish) anniversary. Let’s hope it all goes off without a hitch. [Completed]
☕SPECIALTY BREWS☕
Co-Star - Juliana “Juju” Hamilton, a celebrated TV star, and Roman Reigns, a former WWE icon stepping into his first major acting role, play star-crossed lovers on a hit series. But as they prepare to film their first sex scene, the lines between fiction and reality begin to blur.
Off The Record - When passion gets recorded, it becomes the hottest track of the year. Roman/Black Fem Rapper!OC
Midnight Sparks - On New Year’s Eve, the OTC retreats to a quiet bar, craving solitude. When a confident and captivating woman crosses his path, their connection ignites, turning a quiet night into something unforgettable.
Nothing Left - The tale of a marriage built on trust, torn apart by lies, and a woman’s breaking point that should never have been reached.
Handsy - When the OTC asks for help and you oblige him, he’s very happy to return the favor.
Behind The Mask - Sometimes love demands that you fight not for yourself—but for someone who can’t fight back.
Cheat Meal - The OTC is hungry for a whole lot more than just good food.
Butterscotch & Chocolate - What’s better than a hunky, rich and powerful Samoan boyfriend? Why, two, of course! (Roman Reigns/OC/The Rock)
Kitty Kat - After a lifetime of searching, the Tribal Chief may have finally found the woman of his dreams. Post-Summerslam 2024.
Black Sweatpants - Why did the Tribal Chief arrive late to the Pat McAfee Show? Based on Roman’s appearance on March 22 2024.
Checkmate - The new Smackdown GM reminds the Tribal Chief who’s boss, in more ways than one. The aftermath of the highly entertaining WrestleMania 40 Press Conference.
Santa Daddy🎄- All the Tribal Chief wants for Christmas is you.
Sugar & The Chief - Reader is a best-selling erotic author reflecting on the success of her newest novel, which is based on her secret affair with the man who became her muse.
Say Cheese - A steamy after-work rendezvous with the Tribal Chief and his princess is captured in 4K.
In Peace - When one of the Wiseman’s incessant phone calls comes at the wrong time 🙄.
Here With Me - As the Bloodline Civil War takes an unexpected turn of events, Reader comes up with the perfect pick-me-up for her Tribal Chief. Post-Summerslam 2023.
M.K.A.M. (My Kinda Morning) - Who says birthday sex has to end after the birthday?
Dirty Little Secret - They are each other’s escape, too good to let go of. Until they have to let go.
I Still Heart You - This year, Valentine’s Day takes an interesting turn for two exes.
Latch - The most meaningful conversations take place in the shower.
Daddy The Sub - The Tribal Chief comes home to receive his punishment.
Feedback - The Tribal Chief loves it when you tell show him how much you like his promos. Set after that epic unification contract signing segment of Feb 25, 2022
Sex On The Beach - Remember that “Running Around Naked” promo the Tribal Chief cut some months ago? Well, this is exactly what happened on the private island…in my mind at least.
Boss Lady - It’s always good to have a close working relationship with your boss. But what if you want to be closer? More importantly, what if the feeling is mutual? AU.
I Won’t Let You Fall -She was ready to give up on herself, but one man had to let her know he was not ready to lose her, even if it meant revealing a certain secret he’d kept to himself for years.
Gold Digger - Roman is having a hard time getting rid of his gold-digging ex-wife. What exactly does he have to do to get her out of his life permanently? AU.
Believe - Still hurting from a nasty breakup, Livia is convinced that love does not exist. But Roman decides to prove her wrong…in the most romantic way possible.
The One That Got Away - On the biggest night of her career, Hollywood movie star Beverley Tyler looks back on what might have been. There are things more important than fame and fortune. Beverley learned that the hard way.
The Mechanic - An impromptu trip to a service station leads to an encounter with a sexy mechanic. Her car isn’t the only thing he works on. AU.
☕ESPRESSO SHOTS☕
Kiss Me (200 Words in May Challenge)
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#roman reigns#roman reigns fanfic#wwe#roman reigns fanfiction#roman reigns smut#roman reigns x black oc#roman reigns imagine#roman reigns x black reader#msbigredmachine writes#the tribal chief#the otc#otc#the bloodline
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𐙚 noah sandborn masterlist 𐙚
✮ = smut
last updated: 1/11/25
drabbles
nsfw alphabet ✮
you try to turn him down
#the boy next door#the boy next door 2015#noah sandborn#ryan guzman#noah sandborn x plus size!reader#noah sandborn x plus size reader#noah sandborn x reader#noah sandborn fic#noah sandborn imagine#noah sandborn oneshot#plus size!reader#plus size reader
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J. Jaehyun | Coming Home

After hitting a dead end in your job search, you reluctantly return home to stay with your mom. However, fate has other plans as you unexpectedly cross paths with an old flame. Sparks fly as you navigate the complexities of past feelings and present circumstances, reigniting a passionate connection that refuses to be ignored.
Jaehyun x reader (Exes to lovers)
6k words
Fluff, Angst, Suggestive.
Playlist
As a little girl, you had this idyllic vision of what your adult life would be like. You thought by the time you entered your 20s, you would have graduated from college and easily walked into your dream career. But now, as an adult, you're confronted with the harsh realities of life. You only have $300 to your name, a coupon for a free pizza from your go-to pizza place, and a tech degree that seems to be of no use. To make matters worse, you've ruined your credit during your college years, and you've just ended a three-year relationship. It feels like everything is against you, and the only choice you have is to go back to your hometown to stay with your mom until you get back on your feet.
Leaving Los Angeles was hard enough, but landing in Connecticut felt like a blow to your pride. Everything looks the same as when you left, and the people haven't changed much either. You want to drop down to your knees and cry when you realize that this is where you're going to be for the next few months of your life. But you still have some dignity left in you, so you grab your luggage and try to compose yourself as you walk towards the pickup section to wait for your mom.
Blinking back tears, you inhale a deep breath and pull out your phone. You wait patiently as your phone searches for service in the area. When the service finally sets in, your phone blows up with 70 different alerts: two calls from your best friend, Joy, and three text messages from her telling you to have a safe trip and to keep your head up.
Six missed calls from your ex-boyfriend and seven text messages from him begging you to talk to him.
51 emails from the various job search sites that you signed up with and one singular text message from your mom.
Mom: Hey! I won't be able to make it. But don't worry, I'll have Jaehyun come pick you up. Can't wait to see you!
As if on cue, a familiar black 2015 Toyota Corolla pulls up right in front of you, and none other than Jung Jaehyun gets out of the car.
"This has to be a joke." You breathe, your shoulders raising as you do so.
He smirks the second he lays eyes on you, "Wow you haven't aged a bit."
You wish you could say the same about him, he'd grown a lot more mature since you last saw him. He wasn't the 18-year-old boy you were once head over heels for. He was way taller; he grew his hair out, and you could tell that he started hitting the gym.
"Why are you here?" You look up at him with folded arms.
He doesn't take you seriously. He never did. "Sorry, I'm late." He chuckles and takes your suitcase from beside you to load it in the back of his car.
Once he finishes his first task, he walks back around to open the door for you, gesturing to the passenger seat with both arms and a smile that you wish you could hate.
"I'm not getting in the car, Jaehyun." You remain in your spot, arms still folded over your chest.
"No?" He asks condescendingly.
You repeat, "No." Firm on your feet.
"Well, I guess. I'll see you there then." You watch him close the door and walk to the driver's side without sparing you a look. He starts the car and drives away, leaving you with two options.
You could chase after him and embarrass yourself, or you could remain stubborn and just call an Uber.
You choose to chase the car after realizing that the phone that you would use to call an Uber was sitting in the back of his trunk.
He watches you run after him from his rearview mirror; he slows down but refuses to stop until you were banging on the side of the window, begging him to stop. He got a thrill out of this, and you could tell.
"Did you change your mind?" He teases
Physically, Jaehyun was a completely different person; he grew up, well, you'll admit that. But personality-wise? He hadn't changed at all. He was still the same sarcastic asshole you met in high school.
You mutter, "I don't have my phone." As you slide into the passenger seat, out of breath. You subtly look around, taking notice that the car still smells the same way you remembered it; it was just cleaner now. Sooner or later, your eyes dart to the back seat, and Jaehyun chuckles when you do.
"So what's L. A like?" He asks suddenly, one hand on the steering wheel and the other draped over his thigh.
"It's fun and different. My boyfriend helped to introduce me to a lot of new things." You purposely mention your (ex) boyfriend just to see his reaction.
To your dismay, his reaction is as simple as none. He only asks, "How will long-distance work out for you? It didn't seem to work with us."
"We'll do fine." You say, trying to sound confident.
The car falls silent for a few moments before he starts up a new conversation. "I'm glad you're back."
The statement seems taunting, even if you know that's not how he means it. You always dreamt of moving away to a big city where no one knew who you were, and now that you're back home, it just feels like you are a failure.
"I'm not staying for long." You gaze out of the window.
"Since you're back in town, we should hang out sometime," he suggests, sneaking glances at you.
"I didn't come back to see you."
"Suit yourself, but remember I'm always just a phone call away."

As you step into the familiar house, you can't help but notice that everything looks the same. Though your mom has rearranged some things, the overall feel is still the same. She's standing at the counter, wearing her favorite white robe and sipping on a glass of wine. Even she looks the same, and you can't help but wonder if the past five years have been stuck in time.
Your thoughts are interrupted when Jaehyun speaks up from behind you, offering to take the bags upstairs. You're about to protest when your mom pulls you into a warm hug, rocking you back and forth. "Oh, my baby, I missed you so much," she coos, holding your face in her hands. "Have you been skipping meals?" She asks, eyeing you closely. When you shake your head, she mutters disapprovingly, "I hope you didn't start one of those stupid L.A diets." You hear Jaehyun snicker from behind you, but you can't break free from your mom's grip to glare at him.
"No, mom." You mutter shamefully like a middle schooler who just got through a scolding.
"We've got to fatten you up." She pinches your cheeks before she lets you go. Oh, you and Jaehyun should go try out the taco place down the street." Your mom swings her index finger between you and your ex-boyfriend. "They opened it up after you left. It's amazing, and the staff there is amazing, too."
You open your mouth to speak, but Jaehyun beats you to it. "I think she'd rather the tacos in L.A" he says as he stands beside your mom, looking down on you in a way that feels degrading. The only thing you can do is wonder when they got so close.
Your mom has always liked Jaehyun, but it seemed like she adopted him after you left. If you look close enough, you might find similarities in their facial features.
"Jaehyun probably has other things to do. Why don't we just go instead? It's been a while since it was just you and me." You waltz over and loop your arm around your mom's right arm. Opposite side of where Jaehyun was standing
"Or we could all go out together." Suggests, Jaehyun with a grin so big you could see his dimples.
Your mom's face glows at the thought as she pushes you aside. "That sounds like a wonderful Idea."
"How was your flight?" Joy's voice comes through the speaker of your phone while you prop it up against your old desk. You slide back in your seat to start your face care while simultaneously talking to her.
"Long, it should be illegal for infants to fly on a plane." You mutter, slapping the moisturizer on your face and rubbing it in circles along your cheeks.
Joy gets closer to the camera just to say, "That's harsh," but she doesn't bother to try to hide her laugh.
"Okay maybe not illegal, but there should at least be a secluded area for parents flying with newborns, or you know… just kids who still cry." You drag out the last part when you get closer to the mirror and run your index finger along the new pimple you have growing in.
"Like a daycare?" Joy asks
"That wasn't what I was thinking, but that works too."
"Okay enough about that, have you seen him yet?" Joy whispers against the speaker of her own phone and thankfully so because just as soon as she mentions him Jaehyun comes walking into your room without a notice or a knock.
"Dinners ready." He stops at the entrance of your room but gets closer when he sees that you're on the phone. Close enough for him to show up on your camera screen and wave his hand around. "Hi, Joy." He smiles tauntingly.
"I have to go," you mutter and hang up the call before either of them can get another word in. Turning in your seat to ask "Why are you here?" for the second time today.
His smile doesn't falter, and he doesn't back away, either. "What? You don't want to see me?" he teases.
"I don't," you murmur, pushing him away with the palm of your hand and rolling your eyes. You stand up when he backs up, but his eyes remain on you. You hate that you didn't hate it, and you hate that you don't hate him.
You always thought you would be angry if you ever saw him again, you expected that you'd shed a few tears even. But all of that was furthest from the truth because now that you saw him again you were only reminded of the love you kept harbored away for him.
You were gonna be fine, as long as you kept your distance.
"You invited him over for dinner?" You quietly mutter to your mom, hoping that Jaehyun won't hear you.
"Don't be like that, he came over all the time while you were gone. That's not gonna change because of a little breakup."
"But Mom." You whine.
She hears none of it as she continues setting the table and praising Jaehyun for how helpful he was compared to her own child. You grimace at the statement before plopping down at the table with your arms crossed.
Jaehyun takes the seat across from you, and your mom takes the one adjacent. "Isn't this wonderful? It's been so long since I've seen the two of you together." She smiles and clamps her hands together.
"Is he going to come over every night?" You ask, wiping the smile off of your mom's face. You've always been a fan of your mom's cooking, but now you were picking at the rice and mixing it around. Your spoon clinks against the bottom of the glass plate before you go to take a spoonful.
Sucking in a hiss when your mom smacks your arm, "Why don't you be nice?"
"I was just asking." You whine once more but pull your lips into a thin line when you realize that no matter what, she's going to take his side and Jaehyun's enjoying it.
"You know the carnival is opening tomorrow." Your mom starts again, "You guys should go out and have fun. It's summer, and you're still young."
"I can't. I have to…" You look around for any excuse that won't get you slapped for a second time. "Unpack."
Your efforts count for nothing as your mom slaps you again on the arm. "Oh, don't be stubborn." She laughs. "Jaehyun, you aren't busy, right?"
"No, mam." He smiles, specifically at you.
"And neither are you," she says when she looks at you. "So it's settled; you can pick her up tomorrow." Your mom claps her hands together with a bright smile.
"No, I really can't." You wave your hand around.
"Well, you don't have a job, do you?" is all your mom has to say to make you lower your chin and shake your head. "Then I don't see why not."
"Besides, you could use a picker-upper since you broke up with that little boyfriend of yours." She adds unsolicited. You want to hide, curl up into a ball, and just vanish, disappear, and go anywhere but here.
"You broke up?" Jaehyun pipes up with a smirk.
You scramble to defend yourself, but the best you can come up with is, "We're just taking a little break."and that's all you get to say before your mom interrupts.
"Say, Jaehyun, don't you have that pan I let you borrow? I think I might need it for tomorrow night's dinner."
He nods, "Yeah, I can bring it tomorrow if you'd like."
"No, you might forget. Y/n, why don't you ride with him and bring the pan back."
The mention of your name makes you choke on your food, "What?"
"That'll give you guys some time to catch up." If you didn't know any better, you would think she was doing this on purpose. But you did know better and knew she was doing this on purpose.
"But it's late, and he has bad eyesight." You point, searching for any way that you could to get her to change her mind. Retracting when you see the way he's looking at you. "I mean, it's never safe to drive at night."
"That's more of a reason for you to go. I wouldn't want him stranded on the side of the road." says your mom.
"What about me?"
"If you're ready, we can go now." She ignores you when Jaehyun stands up in his chair.
"Yes, you two get going. I'll clean this up." Your mother hurries you out of your seat, pushing you along with Jaehyun to the door. You don't even get to say anything before she's waving and slamming the door in your face, locking you out of the house with your pajamas, bunny slippers, and your ex.
"You coming?" Jaehyun yells, standing on the passenger side of his black car.
You look at the door once and let out a long, deep sigh as you stomp to his car, sliding past him and into the passenger seat, but not without rolling your eyes.
"If you keep rolling your eyes, they're going to get stuck in the back of your head," Jaehyun teases before closing the car door.
He gets into the car shortly after and starts it immediately. You hope to keep the car ride quiet, but Jaehyun has other plans as he starts returning to his place. "I see long distance isn't your strong suit."
Naturally, you want to roll your eyes. You notice it's just a common occurrence when you are around him. "I already told you were working things out; I just didn't wanna hold him back."
You turn to him when you hear a small laugh. "Working things out," he repeats. "How come I didn't get that option?"
"You didn't deserve it."
"So you really love him, huh?" He glances over to see your reaction, and based on your facial expressions alone, he knows he's right.
He knows the answer, but you're not as sure. Is it possible for you to love two men at once?
"I don't wanna talk about this tonight, Jaehyun." You sigh and gaze out of the window. Per your request, he remains quiet for the rest of the ride. But now that you're sitting in complete silence, all you have to do is think. Think about the feelings and emotions you thought you had left in the past.
What would things be like if you had never ended things with Jaehyun? Would you have met your ex? Would you be conflicted right now sitting in the passenger seat of your ex's car while thinking about your other ex?
"Are you coming in?" Jaehyun asks, holding his apartment door open for you.
You prop up against the wall behind you and fold your arms. "No, I'll stand right here," you say, but swiftly run behind him when you hear someone else leave their apartment. The last thing you needed was someone else to see you standing outside his door, whether they knew you or not.
"Hi, Johnny." Jaehyun turns to wave at the neighbor against your wishes, smiling at you when you glare at him. "Don't worry, he's not gonna bite you."
Your only response is another glare; he simply smiles while you walk past him and into his apartment.
This seems to be the nature of your relationship: You're hot-headed and easily irritated, while Jaehyun is sarcastic and loves to get under your skin. It's always been like this, and there was just no telling how the two of you ever managed to fall in love.
Jaehyun stands behind you when you scan his living area. It's exactly what you'd expect from a man, and especially Jaehyun. There's a couch and some small decor here and there, but it feels cold and bare for the most part.
It's almost hard to believe that this is where he spends most of his time.
You keep your thoughts to yourself and follow him into the kitchen, where you continue to look around.
"Seems like you and my mom got close," you speak, hoping to distract him from how you are inspecting everything in his apartment.
Jaehyun answers, "Yeah, I guess you could say that." His head dips into the cabinets under the counter, searching for the pan that brought him here in the first place.
You raise your hands to each arm and sigh, "So was that on purpose… or?"
"She was the closest thing I could get to you." He says casually, as if everyone's heard that before.
You, on the other hand, aren't as casual about the subject as he is. You drop your arms to your side and start looking around again for a sudden change of conversation, which Jaehyun misses with his head still tucked under the cabinets.
"I like what you've done with the place; it's cozy." You lie, and you're glad he isn't looking at you because you know he can tell that you are with just a glance.
You forgot that he could also tell when you were nervous. He's always been able to read you like a children's book, and he always used that against you.
"It wasn't as easy for me to jump into another relationship as fast as you did." He stands up with the pan in his hand. The look he gives you makes your face feel hot; you begin choking over words.
"I- I don't wanna talk about this."
"I do." He slides the pan back when you reach for it but closes the distance between you. He gets so close that you have to crane your neck to look up at him. He's so close that you're scared he might hear the beat of your heart. He's so close that you could just kiss him. "I missed you, Y/n. More than you could ever imagine."
You admit you still have feelings for Jaehyun but won't act on them. After all, you're a firm believer in "Control your actions, not your emotions," but he's only getting closer and closer.
You start to rethink your philosophies when you breathe in the scent of his cologne. Your skin feels hot and you don't know how long you plan on holding back from him.
It's going to happen sooner or later, so why not sooner? You think as you allow him to take the last step needed to close the space between you.
When his lips connect with yours, you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, and suddenly, he lifts you up by the back of your thighs to carry you back to his bedroom.
The bright yellow light beaming over your closed eyelids wakes you up from your deep slumber. The arm wrapped tightly around your abdomen causes your eyes to nearly bulge out of your head.
Your clothes sprawled on the floor is enough evidence to prove that last night wasn't just a dream. Being pretty much naked in nothing but one of his T-shirts is just the icing on top.
You really slept with your ex.
"Jaehyun," you whisper, gently tapping his arm, which is more than enough to wake him up.
He groans, "Good Morning" as he starts to lay kisses all over the back of your shoulders. And if possible, his hold on you just gets tighter as he pulls you back towards him.
"I have to go home."
"Sure thing, baby." He says, laying one kiss on the back of your head and another on your cheek. With that, he rolls off the bed and begins getting dressed, smiling like an idiot while he does so.
You choose to ignore it; for once, he wasn't acting like an asshole, and you just need some quietness while you take the time to collect your clothes from around the floor.
However, when you reach the car, your thoughts spew like a waterfall. "We can't do that again." You don't give him time to respond, to neither agree nor disagree, before you go on a tangent that lasts the entire 12-minute car ride.
"Okay," Jaehyun responds after pulling into the driveway of your childhood home.
He's never really been much of a talker; if anything, he just liked to say simple things that he knew would piss you off. You're certain this has to be one of them. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop your blood from growing hot.
"okay?" You repeat with squinted eyes. "I just told you I never wanted to see or talk to you again and just go 'okay?"
"What do you want me to say?" He almost laughs, and that just riles you up more.
"Anything else? Did you even mean everything you said yesterday, or were you just looking for sex?" He doesn't say anything at first. He looks away and gazes out the window for what feels like half an hour but is only 8 seconds.
"I don't know." He shrugs
"You don't know?" You repeat him yet again.
"Well, do you want me to tell you the truth?" He asks calm as ever, completely opposite to you.
"No, I don't." You murmur, stomping out of his car and slamming the door behind you.
Jaehyun lets you get to your porch before he rolls his passenger seat window down and shouts, "I'll pick you up at two." When you turn around, you're met with a dimpled smile and his crescent eyes.
If you weren't already so angry, you would've matched his smile, and for a second, you almost do.
He always knew how to make you mad and how to make you laugh. That's why you fell in love with each other, and it only took a special set of dimples to remind you of that.
The sun is still young at 2 p.m., well, 1:51 p.m., to be exact. You were coming to terms with the fact that you had slept with your ex and that you'd been counting the seconds, waiting for two o'clock to come.
The knock at the door sends you rushing down the steps, nearly tripping over your own feet. You barely contain your smile when you see Jaehyun standing on the other side of the door.
"You're early," you scoff, walking past him and closing the door behind you. Jaehyun does nothing but smile at you, reaching for your hand to pull you closer to him as he guides you to his car.
He leaves a kiss on your cheek and mumbles, "I couldn't wait to see you." To which you roll your eyes in an attempt to hide the way your lips turn up into a subtle smile.
The wind from outside seeps into the car as he drives through the highway, one hand interlocked with yours and the other on the steering wheel. He glances at you a few times and, after the third time, says, "You know this is a date, right?"
You turn your head towards the window and pretend like you can't hear him. Only for him to roll both windows up and repeat, "You know this is a date, right?"
"I didn't agree to a date." You retort, "I'm only here cause my mom forced me to."
"Is that why you're still holding my hand?" He asks, his eyes focused on the road ahead.
You shift in your seat, but you don't dare to let go of his hand. If anything, your grasp on him just gets tighter, and you go back to looking out the window. "My hand is cold, and yours is warm," you murmur.
Your answer warrants him to bring your hand up to his lips and leave a chaste kiss or a few. He does that often throughout the evening, randomly pulling you closer to him just to leave kisses on your cheek or forehead.
It feels like high school all over again. Jaehyun's still staring at you like a lovesick fool, and you still get butterflies in the pit of your stomach when you make eye contact. "This isn't a date," you state suddenly.
The warm breeze, carrying the scent of summer, gently tousles your hair as you gaze up at your ex. "And I meant what I said. After this, I don't wanna see you again." The air is filled with the sounds of young teens cheering and laughing, their voices blending into a joyful cacophony.
Jaehyun uses his index finger to move the hair out of your face and push it behind your ear. "Okay," he says softly, with his hand still lingering on your cheek. His thumb softly grazes your lower lip.
You breathe, "I'm serious, Jae." But the use of his nickname and the way you look at him tells him you're anything but serious.
"I know." He says, switching his focus between your eyes and your lips. He kisses you, but you take the initiative to pull him closer by the nape of his neck, feeling the heat of his body transform onto yours.
The feeling is all too familiar, like euphoric bliss or, rather, a certain type of high you don't ever want to come down from. "I missed you." You slur against his lips, arms still tied around him so he can't go anywhere.
"I know." is all he says before he leans in to kiss you again.
The car is pretty silent other than the small taps of the raindrops on the windows and the music playing on his car radio at the lowest volume. Occasionally, you can hear vibrations from your phone.
Jaehyun's hand is firmly wrapped around yours, and it's been like that for the past hour. He pulls you right back every time you try to slip away. "So what about Sicheng? How is he?" you ask, resting your head against the back of the seat.
"He's married now," Jaehyun answers. The tips of his lips turn upwards into a smile when he sees your widened eyes.
"To whom?"
"I don't know her name." He looks off to the side as if to think. "They got married a year ago."
"I would've never thought." The car falls silent again, and just as soon as it does, your phone buzzes for probably the hundredth time of the night.
Jaehyun lets your hand go just long enough for you to check your messages.
There are over 20 missed calls from Joy and one text from her telling you to call her ASAP.
Then, there are three messages from your ex begging you to call him. His contact is still saved as "my love." It's been like that since you first got together, and you hadn't thought of changing it after you broke up.
Well, it's more like you couldn't bring yourself to do it. If you were to change his name and block him, things would be real for you. And you were desperately clinging on to hope. Maybe things will work out; you'll go back to L.A and be with him again.
"Are you okay?" Jaehyun pulls you out of your thoughts, sliding his hand into yours and interlocking your fingers.
"Yeah," you shake your head and lock your phone.
You have no idea what tomorrow might bring, but for tonight, you just want to sit with Jaehyun, even if it is just for tonight.
"Hello." It's probably 6 am if you had to guess. Birds are singing right outside of your window, and the sun isn't all the way up yet.
You sit up in your bed with one hand holding your phone to your ear and the other moving your hair out of your face. "Why didn't you call me back?" Joy's voice echoes through the speaker of your phone.
"Maybe because I was asleep?" You snap back, eyes barely open.
"I got you a job." That's enough to have you leaping off your bed with your eyes jumping out of the socket.
"Say, sike." You chirp. "Please don't say sike."
"I'm serious; I told them you were out of town, but you can start next month." She explains, calm as ever.
"Joy, you are amazing." You exclaim into the phone. "Have I ever told you you're the bestest best friend in the entire world?"
"You've mentioned it a few times." You don't have to see her to know that she's smirking. "I have to go now. I just wanted to tell you about the job. I'll call you back later."
She doesn't give you time to say anything else before the call is dropped. You throw your phone down and plop down on your bed. You can't help but smile, thinking about how things are gonna go back to normal.
However, when you feel your phone vibrate against your side and you read Jaehyun's name off your screen, your smile fades. You were so excited about going back to L.A that you forgot about him.
For the next few days, you do your best to forget about everything and just spend time with Jaehyun, whether it be chatting in his car or even helping him redecorate his sad and cold jail ce- apartment.
"What's the catch?" Jaehyun asks suddenly, his index finger twirling in your hair. You shift your head against his chest to look at him.
"What are you talking about?"
"You've been acting really weird lately," he explains, "You're all clingy now. Which I like, but it also feels too good to be true." You can see a shift in the way he looks at you and in the tone of his voice. "It feels like you might try to leave me again."
"I'm just trying to make up for lost time." You're too afraid to tell him that your time with him is limited. Too afraid of his reaction and of your own emotions.
"You don't have to lie to me." He sits up against the headboard of his bed, and you do the same thing. "I knew this was only temporary, and I know I shouldn't have let my feelings get involved again." Jaehyun takes a deep breath before continuing, "But I love you. I think I always will."
When you don't say anything, he keeps going. "Let's try again." He says.
"Jaehyun-" He cuts you off with a kiss, not wanting to hear your rejection.
"We can move to L.A together." He speaks against your lips, "And we can find an apartment. I'll get a job, I'll sell my car if I have to."
His determination makes you giggle, and soon enough, he starts laughing with you."I thought you hated the city."
"I do. But you love the city, and I love you,"
"I didn't know you were such a romantic." You beam, butterflies erupting as he reaches to move the hair out of your face and behind your ear.
"But we'll have to move my son out too. I'm not asking you to play stepmom, but I do want to be in his life." Jaehyun speaks casually, but your jaw is growing heavy, and the butterflies are starting to feel like poison or mini daggers hitting your gut all at once.
You only manage to squeak "What?" Even though there are so many questions, you want to ask.
"I'm kidding." He breaks into a laugh, but you're still left confused and slightly heartbroken.
"That's not funny, Jae." You whine when he pulls you in to leave a kiss on your forehead.
"It's hilarious, baby."
You jump up off the bed the second your phone begins to vibrate, running to the door and checking the doorway to make sure Jaehyun is occupied before you slowly and softly close the door to answer the call.
"Hello?" You breathe into your phone speaker as you tiptoe back to the bed.
"Hello? Girl, why are you whispering." Joy asks, "Where are you?"
You don't have to answer that question because Jaehyun answers that question for you when he busts through the door to ask "Do you want take out or should we cook tonight?"
"Take out." You answer, covering your phone mic.
Still, your best friend hears everything, "Who is that?" She questions.
"Okay, do you want Pizza or Chinese food?" Jaehyun asks, leaning in between the doorway.
"Y/n, that better not be who I think it is." Joy scolds from her end of the line.
You answer Jaehyun to ignore Joy. "I don't know, you choose," you say urgently, anything to get him out of the room.
"I know how you are, baby. I don't want to get you something that you don't feel like eating," Jaehyun explains, walking further into the room.
The closer he gets, the louder your heart beats and the more your best friend yells at you. "Baby?" She barks through the speaker and right into your ear.
You rush to hit the mute button, but with your eyes focused on Jaehyun, you slip up and accidentally put your best friend on speaker phone. "Y/n, you better answer me right now."
When her voice rings through the room, your heart stops beating altogether. For the second time this month, you want to vanish, disappear into thin air, and cease to exist.
"Hi, Joy." Jaehyun greets with a large grin that shows his dimples on full display.
Joy only responds in a monotone, "Jaehyun." You rush to say, "I'll do a plain cheese pizza." Once again, you are just trying to get him out of the room.
"Sure thing, baby." He cooes, with a kiss to your cheek. Soon enough he's out of the room and you're alone again. With a deafening silence.
"Things happened." You hesitantly speak.
"Things like what?" Your clothes slipped off, and you fell into his bed?" You hear a sigh immediately after she snaps, and you're too afraid to say anything else. "What about—"" I don't wanna talk about him," you interject.
"Okay, but does he know you're coming back?" Joy asks, referring to Jaehyun. When you don't answer, she gets worried. "You are coming back, right?"
"Of course I'm coming back. I just haven't told him yet." You trail off on the last part.
She doesn't say anything for a long while, and neither do you. You sit in your own disappointment, you didn't need her to tell you that you messed up because you already knew that.
"Y/n, I'm only saying this because I love you…" It doesn't take a genius to know that what's coming next is about to hurt. "You're being really stupid right now."
That hurt a lot more than you thought it would. "Wow, thanks, Joy."
"Listen, I don't want you to get hurt again."
"I'm not, he's changed, and things are different now." You explain although you're not even sure you believe it yourself.
"Then why haven't you told him yet?" She asks, but you don't answer. "You're going to give him the chance to break you again?"
"He's not," you cry, pulling against the ends of Jaehyun's oversized shirt, which you stole out of his drawer to wear.
Joy can hear the tone of your voice soften, so she softens hers as well, but it doesn't change the gravity of her words. "Do you remember how long it took for-" "Please don't mention him." You interrupt her, already knowing who she's about to bring up.
"Look I'll figure things out, but for now I just wanna be happy." You continue, "I think I deserve that."
"You do, Y/n. You deserve nothing but happiness, and if he makes you happy, then don't let me get in your way. but don't forget who you have waiting for you in California with open arms." Joy attests
"I know you're just looking out for me, but I don't know if I can go back to him knowing what I did while I was here."
"You know better than I do that he'd never judge you." And you did. You knew that very well. Your ex never made you feel insignificant or anything of the sort. He never shamed you or made you feel guilty for anything. But that didn't change the fact that you would judge yourself.
"I just need time to think about everything." You say, almost in a whisper.
"I trust that you'll do the right thing." Joy reassures, "I'm gonna go now. I love you."
"I love you too." You say before hanging up the phone and throwing it on the other side of the bed. The call leaves you feeling nothing but confused, and Jaehyun notices it the second he walks into the room.
Your subtle pout and the way you're holding the pillow to your chest tell him exactly how you're feeling. "What's wrong?" He takes the seat beside you, tugging at your waist so you can scoot closer to him.
"Did you mean what you said about moving to L.A.?" You ask first. Your hand rests over his when he reaches to stroke your cheek.
"I wouldn't play about that Y/n"
You take a deep breath when you get the answer you want. "Joy got me a job, and they want me to start next month."
"What? That's amazing, baby." He cooes, grabbing each of your hands. "We're going to L.A"
He reacted way differently than you imagined he would; the look on his face tells you he's sincere, and the flutter in your heart makes you hope that he really is. You don't think you can take another heartbreak, not from him.
As you stand in your old room, the brown paper box at your feet, you can't help but feel a strong sense of nostalgia wash over you. You take in every detail: the way the sunlight filters through the window, casting a warm glow on everything in the room; the creaking sound of the wooden floorboards under your feet, each one carrying a memory of its own; and the scent of your old perfume that still lingers in the air, like a faint echo of a bygone era.
This time, as you prepare to leave, it feels different. It feels like you're saying goodbye for good, and the thought of leaving this place forever fills you with a deep sense of loss. When you first arrived in Connecticut, you couldn't wait to leave, but now you find yourself wishing you could stay just a little bit longer so you could relive the memories of your past, which you hold so dear.
However, you know that the real reason you're dreading going back is that you don't want to face your ex. The thought of telling him that you're now in a relationship with the man you used to cry to him about fills you with anxiety. You're unsure of how he'll react, and the mere prospect of facing him makes your heart race with fear.
The more you think about it, the more you realize that things are not looking good for you. You're caught between your love for your new partner and your fear of the unknown.
Suddenly, your mom yells from downstairs, "Y/n, someone is here for you." You don't pay much attention to the hesitation in her voice, too lost in thought. You wish you had because when you reach the bottom of the stairs and look up, Doyoung, your ex, is standing right across from you with a saddened smile and a black duffle bag. Your heart skips a beat as you see him. You hadn't expected him to be here, but now that he is, you don't know how to react. You mutter, "What are you doing here?" As you wrap your arms around yourself, unsure of what to do next.
Part 2
#fluff#drabbles#nct x reader#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct#nct 127#nct icons#nct angst#jaehyun#jeong jaehyun#jung jaehyun#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun nct#nct jaehyun#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun icons#Jaehyun angst#nctzen#nct au#jaehyun x y/n#jaehyun x you#nct x you#nct smut#nct scenarios#fanfic#nct fanfic#promise-you-doie
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"but then again this is the guy who’s publically known for loving to eat ass so"
I'm sorry, I thought Nate eating ass was fanon. Are you telling me this is an actual canon fact??
god i love when people don’t realise how much “fanon” around sid and nate is actually canon. it’s like heroin to me. also bc it’s like. 90% of the stuff in fics (which is probably why people assume it’s fanon but. oh boy it’s not. there’s shockingly little fanon around these two, mostly because canon is so abundant).
yes, nathan mackinnon is a known ass-eater. let me direct you to this post, anon. you’re welcome.
other nate (and sid) facts you might not have realised are canon:
nate is a known advocate for therapy. he’s been seeing a sports therapist since 2017
they wear matching clothing all the fucking time, sid has said publicly that he started wearing white sneakers and updated his wardrobe due to nate’s influence (iirc nate might’ve even bought him his first pair of white sneakers? either that or it was a “he told me i need to so i did” situation). they share a tailor. unfortunately i now have to bring your attention to the fact that since they have an alarming amount of matching clothes that they’ve bought for each other, that means that they in fact have to know each other’s clothing sizes off by heart. they also low-key share clothing btw
their families celebrate canada day together and their dads are best friends. in-law behaviour goes crazy
nate did in fact stalk his way into sid’s heart (got the same personal trainer and agent at age 13; built his house next door in 2017; they’ve been spending every day in the summers together since at least 2015. sid cooks for them daily, or at least did pre-pandemic. sid refuses to use nate’s gym tho so they always use sid’s).
nate used to have a fan twitter account more or less where he rooted for the pens. it was active until 2017.
sid and nate regularly go to summer weddings together as each other’s dates. they have done this since, once again, at least 2015
nate has confirmed that he used to have a poster of sid on his wall as a teenager (he didn’t confirm he used to jerk off to it but frankly. i think that’d be saying the quiet part out loud)
when sid won the cup in 2009 and held the parade in cole harbour, nate stood by the side of the road watching it. he was about to turn 14, he was already working with sid’s trainer and agent, and he was about to start attending shattuck (sid’s junior high). due to old pics we also know that this was RIGHT before nate had his first growth spurt and hit puberty. i’m not saying seeing sid with the cup kickstarted nate’s puberty and gave him his first boner but i’m not NOT saying it
nate dated vanessa morgan of riverdale fame in his rookie year. she’s now good friends with elias petersson from the vancouver canucks (this means nothing but i do think it’s a very funny coincidence).
nate schmidt, formerly of the VGK, once failed a drug test (it turned out to be a testing-fuck-up); when nhl players were asked about it natemack iconically said “i don’t think he was sticking a needle up his ass” (i just like this one)
when he was a kid, the one other thing sid wanted to be was a hairdresser. nate, on the other hand, “didn’t have a plan B”
nate is canonically possessive of sid (see: the asg 2024) and sid is canonically delighted by this and into it
they go on so many lunch dates in the summer my dude. they go grocery shopping together. like there’s so many pics of them in grocery stores or out having coffee or weird green shakes
oh i almost forgot, they went on a roadtrip through ireland last year. they’ve been on holiday together multiple times over the years though. done some eurotripping together and stuff. in 2015 they spent three months together, three weeks of which were spent living in sid’s santa monica condo together just the two of them
sid has put up a picture of every stanley cup winning captain in his basement since 2008, when the pens lost in the scf to DET. apparently this serves as motivation for him to win the cup. he notoriously does not watch the playoffs after the pens are out
however, he partied so hard at nate’s cup party he actually closed down the party with his dad. nate is the only non-teammate sid’s ever been seen supporting for a cup run (he’s also never been to his teammates’ cup parties afaik so. there’s that)
also they talked on the phone daily and between periods during nate’s cup run. they also canonically have almost weekly phone dates that can run multiple hours. quote nate “i can’t talk to anyone else the way i can talk to him”
they each have pictures of the two of them together framed in each other’s houses
there’s rumours they’re building adjoining houses on neighbouring properties in cape breton next to a golf course bc apparently being neighbours in halifax isn’t enough or something. this one is as yet unconfirmed by reputable sources though
#god there’s so much#anyway please refer to the primer if you wanna know more#sidnate#squidney crocsby#natty mac#kookanswers#anon#long post
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September 27, 2024
Ryan Guzman is currently filming his next thriller: Midnight and, in his talk with Xmag, he takes a tour of his professional career. Despite his current international projection as an actor, Ryan Guzman did not plan to dedicate himself to acting at first. The American actor and model began to get interested in mixed martial arts when he was only seven years old and, after winning his first black belt when he was ten, he was a mixed martial arts fighter in Sacramento until 2010. A shoulder injury prevented him from continuing with his dream and he redirected his career working as a model in various magazines and brands such as Abercrombie & Fitch, Affliction and Reebok. Everything completely changed when he got his first starring role in Step Up: Revolution. “It changed the direction of my life. It was as if I was launching myself into a world that I had only seen in the distance.” The dance franchise was an international success and Ryan tells us about the process he followed for the films, which, according to him, has always been the same over the years. “I try hard at something new without fear of failure. I do it this way because I know that I can fail at the beginning of anything I try. The goal is to learn from my failures and be open to new ideas when it comes to acquiring and perfecting a skill.”
His career as an actor continued in 2015 with the psychological thriller The Boy Next Door, which as Ryan explains, gave him "an invaluable perspective on the business side of the entertainment industry.” In the film, he shared the limelight with Jennifer Lopez and Ryan tells us about his experience working on the film and what it was like working with her. "Jennifer's life is something that most people won't be able to comprehend because it involves A LOT. She's a superstar. He has a million things going on at the same time. I had a great time collaborating with her and the director, Rob. They both made me feel very comfortable. It was so much fun playing the bad boy!” From a psychological drama about a woman who falls in love with her younger neighbor, Ryan jumped to play Eddie Diaz in the police drama series 9-1-1, which tells the story of a Los Angeles rescue group willing to attend to any emergency. The series underwent a big change after its transition from the FOX network to ABC and Ryan explains how that has affected his character. "Eddie's character has evolved a lot since his introduction into the 9-1-1 universe. As in any great evolution, destruction must occur in order to rebuild something new. The transition from FOX to ABC came at a perfect time for my character and I was able to represent that evolution through destruction just before another defining event in Eddie's life. Season eight is about Eddie making peace with his demons and finding self-love.” Being a series that deals with extreme and challenging situations, Ryan describes how he prepared physically and psychologically for those moments. "Empathy is the key. I draw from what I've experienced and my understanding of it; then I use the truth of those encounters to connect with the character. As for my physical fitness, I keep practicing martial arts." Recently, one of his latest projects has been the fictional comedy The Present, starring Isla Fisher and Greg Kinnear. Ryan explains that the possibility of working with these two actors was one of the reasons I chose this film. “The moment I saw that Isla Fisher and Greg Kinnear were involved in the film, I joined the project. These are two actors I've always wanted to collaborate with. Working with Isla was a dream, she gave me a lot of love and knowledge and Greg is someone who I have always enjoyed watching perform. Also, the theme resonated deeply with me, as I was going through a divorce at the time, which made the story especially relatable.”
Right now, the American actor is involved in the filming of the thriller Midnight. "I received the script from writer Lamont Magee and when he asked me if I would be interested in one of the roles opposite Rosario Dawson, he didn't have to say much more to capture my interest. 'Midnight' was an opportunity to show action in a way that I haven't been able to do as much as I would like as an actor.” According to Ryan, the thriller promises to be an intriguing story and one that will surprise the spectators. "I think seeing Rosario Dawson come face to face with Mila Jovovich is intriguing enough, but then you add the layers of her sister's character, played by Alexandra Shipp and the truth is that the audience is about to discover a lot of twists and surprises.” As immersed as he is in his work, Ryan ends the interview by expressing how grateful he feels to have a community of fans and followers who have always been supporting him. “I cannot fully express the depth of my gratitude to those who have found my work entertaining and have continued to support my career over the years. THANK YOU!”
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and I can change / CL16 / Part 2
Summary: dad!Charles x French!ex!reader - Charles would do anything to convince you to forgive him. He'd do anything to revive his family.
Warnings: Again, Y/s/n is 'your son's name'. And again, his age is unspecified- you decide what you think. crying (LOTS of crying), mention of drunkenness, mention of sex, mention of cheating, broken relationships, broken family, censored cussing
Requested?: Yeah! Requested by some sweet souls who read part 1! @barcelonaloverf1life @architect-2015 @emz2092 @cilliansgirl @lunamelona @lightdragonrayne @leclercgirl16
Author's Note: You guys asked for it, so I gave it! I hope you enjoy! Same song as inspiration. Also I'm thinking after this part I'll write a part 3, and then after that maybe a little epilogue, to wrap this up. Tell me what you think. Also, this is the link to part 1 / and the link to part 3
"Y/n, people change.
"And I can change, too."
You lay on your bed, engulfed in the darkness of the room surrounding you. The darkness seems to go deeper than just your surroundings- deeper, and into you.
Over and over the scene plays through your mind. Those words that Charles had uttered. The way he had clutched your hand in both of his, as if it were his only lifeline. In that moment, the desperation his eyes had denoted was incredible.
Charles, why? Why couldn't you let go? You're making it all so much more complicated.
But you know what he would say. Why? Why, Y/n? Because this isn't just about myself. Don't you see the brokenness in our son? Don't you see it?
Guilt washes over you, and then rage.
I shouldn't be the one feeling guilt. He should. He's the one who messed up our family. He's the one who's fault it is!
The way he cried, though.
The desperation.
The thing is that he is feeling guilty. Or at least so it seemed.
But does he really deserve a second chance? Do you?
Your phone rings at 12:00 A.M. On the dot. Charles has always been on the dot. Unless he's drunk, that is.
Why is he calling?
Right when I'm thinking about him, too.
Although this really isn't too surprising, when you consider it. For the past week and a half or so, you've stayed up until roughly 2:00 in the morning, staring at the ceiling, thinking, unable to convince yourself into peace and slumber.
And now a call comes.
Charles, why?
It feels terrible as you answer. "Charles. Don't call me."
"Y/n," he says in a calm voice. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" you snap, trying to keep it down. Your son is sleeping (hopefully) in the next room.
"For reacting so emotionally. I'm sorry. For years this has weighed on me, but crying and begging won't get us anywhere."
"We're not going anywhere, whether you cry and beg or not." You hang up.
A month after that call where you rejected Charles for what you hoped would be the last time, there's a knock on the door on a Saturday. You walk to it, and freeze when you look through the peephole.
Why is Charles Leclerc here?
Anxiety hits you. The house is a mess, you've got no food to give him, you look like a mess in your pajamas and unbrushed hair-
How can he just show up at your door like this?
It's obnoxious.
You honestly are about to pretend you aren't home, but then Y/s/n suddenly runs in, squealing, "Mama, who is it?! Is it the mailman?"
You sigh at your son's strange fascination for the mailman. You're not completely sure why he enjoys the young, dry, monotone mailman, and for years just assumed because he was generally a nice bloke, and little kids are weird, until you realized with an ounce of dread that the mailman resembles Charles, in a way. After that, you've never encouraged his enthusiasm for the mailman, just in case that was the reason, whether conscious or not.
"No, no," you sigh, unlocking the door. "It's not the mailman, love."
"Who is it, Mama?"
As you swing the door open, you murmur, "Well, love, none other but your father."
"Daddy!" the little boy, still in his Lightning McQueen pajamas, squeals, running to hug his father. You glance away, staring at the floor.
Charles hugs your son, kissing him, and exclaims, "Aw, there's my little buddy! How are you, man?"
"I'm good, Daddy! Are you coming to live here now, Daddy?!"
"Ugh- Not quite..." He picks up your son, and looks to you, immediately saying, "Sorry it's such short notice."
You grit your teeth, murmuring, "You mean no notice?"
"Right," he nods with a quick exhale.
While the presence of your son is a burden for you, preventing you from showing your true feelings, it may be an advantage for Charles, to get across what he needs to get across. Whatever that may be.
Because this is all just a game. Everyone with their own different motives. Y/s/n wants Mama and Daddy to love each other because he wants one place to live. Charles' motives are unknown, but probably are just manipulative and selfish- about making himself feel better. And your motive? You don't want to relive the past, so will avoid Charles at all costs.
Charles' and Y/s/n's motives align more with each other than your's.
You look at your son. Who you love so much. He looks at you with hope. Charles looks at you with... a very similar expression.
These two.
How can you love one and hate the other?
They're both family, as much as you hate to admit it. Because one of them, you wish you could erase.
No. But you don't. Because if you'd never met Charles, Y/s/n would never have been born. And you can't even begin to imagine your life without him.
You hold the door open, and gesture to the couch. "Sit down, Charles. I'm going to get dressed, and then put the kettle on." You say all this through gritted teeth.
How can he just walk in as if he owns the place?
He nods. "Thank you, Y/n." You watch in the doorway to the hall as Charles sits down on the couch with his son on his lap. You watch as he says softly, picking up a toy car from off the rug, "This car is awesome, Y/s/n. Where'd you get it?"
"Mama got it for me! For my birthday!" Y/s/n takes it from his father's hand with much pride, and starts driving it across Charles' chest, up onto his neck, and eventually onto his cheeks. The whole time, Charles laughs, his hand on his son's back to keep him from tipping off his lap.
"That's a super cool car. Does it have a name?"
"Uhhh," Y/s/n frowns. "Zoom! Because he goes zooooom!"
"Oh, it's a he?"
"Of course," Y/s/n says, as if this fact should be obvious. Then he giggles, "Because girls smell."
"They smell?! No way. Girls don't smell."
"Yeah, they do," he crosses his arms, frowning at his father. "You don't know any girls. You only know... Uh, Cah-los."
Charles laughs out loud. "The only person I know is 'Cah-los'?"
"Yep! And Uncle Arthur and Uncle Lorenzo, but that's it!" your son claims in a very matter-of-fact tone.
Their conversation continues, but you finally turn to leave and get yourself fixed up. You quickly shower, brush your teeth and hair, put on moisturizing cream, perfume, and deodorant, and put on a beige hoodie, grey sweatpants, and slides, before going to make tea. The whole time, you mind swirls.
Why is he here? Why is he here on a Saturday? Why is he here, without even asking to come? It's so... obnoxious.
You finish making two cups of tea, finding with awe as you make them that you remember exactly the way Charles likes his tea, and you're doing it automatically.
Because I used to do this so much.
You walk back in with the tea and see the two boys sitting on the rug now. Charles is tickling Y/s/n's tummy, and both of them are laughing- Charles with more of a chuckle and Y/s/n with more of a squealing giggle. When Charles sees you, he slowly stops, saying with a little sigh, "Alright, bud. Mama's back with my tea, and I mean to drink it."
"But Daddyyy!"
"Nope!" he grins, standing up, ruffling his son's messy hair. He then walks to you, and you hand him his tea. He lights up when he tastes the tea and looks at you, muttering softly, "My God, you remembered how I like my tea...?"
"Don't jump to sh*t, Charles," you murmur, soft enough for Y/s/n not to hear.
"Right," he sighs, sitting down again on the couch.
You set your tea down, walking to your son. "Alright, love. I want you to go in your room now, okay? Remember the Lego plane you were building? Why don't you work on that? I want to see it once it's finished, okay? And if you need anything, call, okay? Don't come in here. Just call, and one of us will come."
He looks questioningly. "Why, Mama?"
"Me and your father have important things to talk about. And if you don't listen, there will be consequences."
He blinks, pouting.
"I'll turn on your storybook audio for you. Come on." You bring him to his room and get him set up, until you're sure he's completely distracted with the Legos and the storybook. Only then do you come back to the living room and sit down awkwardly next to Charles.
He's still wearing his red windbreaker from when he was outside, and a black scarf hangs loose around his neck. His hair is a bit messed up, but he looks perfect, like always.
Too perfect.
"Let me take your scarf and jacket. And your shoes."
"Right," he says with a swift nod, handing you his scarf, coat, and sleek black boots. You put them by the door, and sit down, viewing the cozy grey sweater adorning his frame. You have a passing thought, considering how much unnecessary money he might have spent on such a garment.
"So?" you ask in a tense voice. "What is this all about, Charles?"
"There are some things we need to work out. You're right- one of the many things I've done wrong to you is always being a f*cking coward. You're right. I didn't say what was on my mind, and I faked it, and I kept quiet, because I didn't want to upset you. But now I see that the only thing I can do now is speak up, be honest, and be a man. You rightfully left me because I wasn't being a proper man. I wasn't being your proper man. I was being a terrible husband and a terrible father. But now we need to uncover what's true- we both have different views, both of which are likely exaggerated or incorrect in different ways."
"I don't care, Charles," you say quickly, flat out trying to ignore his admittance to wrong. Perhaps because you don't want it to be true. Because if he's sorry, that means you have to forgive him.
"So you're telling me you'd rather believe lies, just because it makes you feel better? What kind of thinking is that?"
You hate to admit that he's right. So you say nothing.
There's silence. But then he says, "So tell me what happened."
"You know what happen-"
"Tell me, Y/n." His voice isn't rude, but definitely firm.
You swallow, shaking your head. You don't want to work this out. You want to forget Charles. But clearly, that's impossible. "You were irresponsible. You'd get drunk, never be home, never help me. I'd be all on my own... You... You'd use me for your own pleasure but never show true, selfless love... Then you came home drunk saying stuff about a pretty woman and sex and getting pregnant... So you cheated... And I divorced you because I couldn't take it any more." You can't believe it, but you're trying not to choke up as you whisper, "Charles, what we had seemed perfect. Until you messed it up." Your mouth tastes like poison.
Charles stares down, his eyes swirling with everything but empty, at the same time. "Y/n," he whispers. "I was terrible. You're right. I was never around because I was immature and scared. I didn't understand. To get away from it, I drank and had fun with friends."
Your lip curls. "You're not the victim."
"And I never said I was! I was scared of being a father. I was scared of messing up. I wasn't ready and I let everything happen too quickly. I was a coward and I left you. Even though you divorced me, I was the one who left you. That's what happened. I was stupid. I was a terrible person. It's all my fault."
"Why would you be any different now? There's no way for you to prove that. Before the marriage you were fine. It was when we married that you went downhill. It was like... you couldn't stand me."
He looks torn apart. "I loved you. I... I... I still do. I knew I wasn't being a good husband or father and to forget about it, I drank."
"And why wouldn't you still do it now?!"
"Because I don't. I feel more guilt now than I did then! I feel more responsibility now than I did then! And that was my greatest fear! Responsibility! But now I don't drink excessively! Now I don't avoid reality! Because I need you... Our son needs us. Together. Don't you need me?"
"Not the you I know."
"You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same person I was." His voice is so uncommonly firm, it slightly shocks you.
You stare into each other's eyes.
He goes on, "That night, I didn't cheat. I was intoxicated. A young woman was trying to seduce me, but I refused because I had you. You, my beautiful wife, both inside and out. I wanted to convey to you that I said no because you were my wife. However, I failed to communicate this properly, and the next morning, I had completely forgotten the conversation. I chose not to tell you because I thought it would be better if you didn't know. I was afraid you would be angrier with me for being in that situation. I was a coward, and I didn't want you to be upset with me. I didn't realize for years that you believed I had cheated. If I had known, I would have assured you that I didn't cheat, just like I am doing now, and that I never would. Because I didn't. Despite all the mistakes I made, cheating on you is something I would never, ever do. I have always loved you, and only you, far too much for that."
Your hands tremble in your lap as you stare at him, listening.
Now you're the one getting emotional.
Charles leans in close to you- too close for comfort- and whispers, "I've changed... Please. I just want a second chance... To right my wrongs and give you and our son the lives you deserve. I need to give my all to you... I need to make it up to you... It's... It's crushing me."
"Why do you need a second chance?" Your voice, for once, isn't aggressive. It's gentle. Softer. Your voice cracks as you say, "You should have done it right the first time."
You see him swallow. "And you know what? I didn't. I f*cked up. I f*cked up everything. I f*cked up your life and I know it. I'm sorry. I wish I could go back in time and fix it and make it all better. I was stupid, Y/n. I was terrible. I hurt the most beautiful woman and her baby in the world. I'm the least." He takes your hand again in both his, but this time it's a gentler grasp.
"But you're not. You're famous. You have so many fans."
"Do you know how many times I've thought I don't deserve all this? If only I could share it all with you."
"Charles," your voice cracks again, and an unexpected, terrible longing fills you. "I want to believe you, but I can't. I'm broken, Charles, because of you. I can't afford to let you break me again..."
A tear rolls down your cheeks, and immediately he reaches up with his thumb, gently wiping your cheek, "No, Y/n, please don't cry... I don't want you to cry because of me any longer... Please..."
"Charles, I can't do this..." more tears fall.
There's hurt and confusion, but mostly longing and guilt in his eyes. "Please... If you'd only trust me, then we could make this right. I could make this right, after all I did wrong."
You can hardly believe yourself as you let your broken, silently crying self fall into Charles. You allow yourself to rest your head on his shoulder, and you allow his arms to wrap around you, giving you his warmth. "Charles..."
"Yes...?" There's a painful hope in his voice.
"I don't know if I can do this..." you cry into his shoulder now.
He whispers right in your ear, "Just give me a chance. Let me be there for you... Let me prove to you... Let me..."
You can't give him a yes or a no. Two sides war inside you- the mask and the face. You feel him stroke your hair as you cry, at the same time as remembering stroking his hair when he was drunk and needed comfort.
This is some sort of paradox, isn't it?
"Charles," you murmur, leaning away after you've gained control of yourself. "The answer is 'I don't know' right now, okay... Consider it... better than hating your guts with an adamant 'no.'"
As he gazes into your eyes, he leans closer. Softly, he places a tender kiss on your cheek and whispers, "I'll be ready whenever you are. And I'll never, ever stop waiting for you."
Weeks pass, and Charles can't understand why, after all that happened that day, still you insist on avoiding him like the plague.
Well, the reason is just that- avoidance. You're avoiding Charles because you don't want to face the possible truth. You're avoiding him because you don't want to make big decisions. You don't want to try again. You don't want to...
Well, you don't want to fall in love again.
And on that day, the way he treated you...
It reminded you of the man you married, and not the man you divorced.
And that scares you. Because you'll never forget the man you divorced.
So you're stubborn and resistent, and you're avoiding him.
So you sit, staring at the screen of your cell phone. Rereading the text on it. Over and over.
Charles Leclerc: I'm sorry for such a long text Y/n but you probably won't read it anyway, so what does it matter? I need to talk with you and you're doing exactly what I've done, what I'm apologizing for. For years I avoided this stuff and one of the reasons we split was that i couldn't stand up and address and tell you my problems. I was being a f*cking coward. And I've said sorry more times than I can count. I thought you might be on the road to forgiveness, to giving me a second chance. I know you felt the same way as me when you leaned into me and let me hold you when you cried- there's something more here, and I don't want you to ignore this. Can't we just try this? Please Y/n? I'm finally willing to step up, be a man, work through all this sh*t with you. Talk about it. I'm finally willing to be brave, and as soon as I am, you're doing the same thing you've yelled at me for years for doing- staying silent.
Charles Leclerc: I love you, Y/n, and this is a problem I desperately want to fix, but the truth of the matter is that you're being a f*cking hypocrite.
Me: How does it feel to be in the position you put me in for years?
You feel mean for typing that, and you're not sure how much you mean it. Maybe you meant to be kinder.
But the anger took over and your thumbs did the talking.
Charles leaves that message on read.
You sit in the cold metal chair, surrounded by pudgy, middle-aged parents and their gross kids all around you as a lone young mother sitting by herself. You're only here to see your son, and none of the other aspects of this situation bring you an ounce of joy.
All of a sudden, a shiver runs down your spine as a firm hand gently lands on your shoulder. Your head snaps up, meeting the gaze of Charles Leclerc. A look of disdain crosses your face, causing your heart to ache as you bluntly ask, "Why are you here?"
Charles takes a seat beside you in the vacant chair and casually remarks, "I've come to attend my son's school concert. And you?" A glimmer of amusement dances in his eyes.
Your jaw tightens in pure irritation, and you manage through gritted teeth in a tense, quiet tone, "Why did you choose to sit next to me?"
Charles hesitates, his expression softening, as he makes an effort to hold your gaze. "Well... Because I..." He swallows and says, "I'm not going to give up on you. That's why. So I figured I'd sit down next to you to watch my- our- son's concert. So..." Abruptly, he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. The veins in his hand are visible as he clasps yours tightly.
Your muscles tense, yet for some reason, you don't pull your hand away.
So throughout the whole school concert, Charles sits, gripping your hand, and seems to refuse to let it go.
And the moment the teacher is done on stage after the little production, thanking people for helping and the kids for doing such a great job and other stuff you don't listen to, Charles turns to you and says, "So, we have some minutes to spare."
Your eyebrows scrunch together. "Come again?"
He chuckles, but it doesn't feel called for. "You weren't listening to her? She said the students can be picked up from their classrooms by their parents in fifteen minutes."
Your jaw clenches again. "Charles, why?"
"Because I know you want it," he says incredibly earnestly. The inside of your heart melts as the outside hardens.
"But I don't think I do."
"But I know you do. Now come on." Your ex-husband stand up, pulling you up with him.
"Where are we going?" you ask. "And please let go of my hand. You've been holding it so long, it's starting to get sweaty."
He clicks his tongue and doesn't respond to either of these, then guides you down various hallways until you reach the school's exit. Finally, he sits down with you on a bench outside the school, and releases your hand.
"What are you doing?"
"Let's just hang out here for the next ten minutes, okay? We should talk," he says awkwardly, facing you.
"I don't get it. Charles, there's nothing you can do to-"
Charles interrupts, holding your face gently, gazing into your eyes. "Please, don't. Don't say that," he pleads, his thumb brushing your cheek. "There's something we can do. We can make this work... Please..."
His desperation, his begging, makes you want to cry. "Please just let it go... Let me go..."
"No, I don't want you to be trapped... Don't you see you'll be more free with me? You won't have to work as hard.. I'll take care of you and our son... I'll take half the work in the house you have to deal with... I'll... We'll... I just want you to believe that we'll be happier... I'm not saying we need to jump to anything today. I'm just saying, let's be kind to each other... Let's go out to eat sometimes, or go to our son's events together. Let's act just a little bit more like a family, even if we aren't yet. I just want to- I need to- I- I- I..." He trails off. His hands fall off your cheeks, and his shoulders slack. His head goes down.
It's like just the hard look in your eyes alone crushed him.
Like that alone is the huge weight he's bearing.
"F*** me, Y/n... F*** me," he whispers, his hands in his lap trembling. "I don't deserve you. I hurt you. Doesn't matter how much I changed. I still have to live through the consequences of my actions, don't I?" He seems to be talking more to himself, but you have no idea at this point. "Just f*** me." He exhales shakily, before suddenly standing up. He stares you right in your eyes, and your heart breaks when you see the hurt, the destroyed desperation. "It's fine, Y/n." He's trying to keep a level face. But his voice cracks. "I'll leave you alone. I'll let you go. I can see all this is just hurting you more. I never meant to hurt you more. I never meant to bring up the past to hurt you. I wanted to help you... I wanted to help you heal..." He drags a hand over his face. "But clearly I f***ing didn't. Clearly I messed it up again. I f***ing messed up again." He swallows. His eyes glimmer with wetness as he practically whispers, "The last thing I want is to hurt you. So I'll drop it. I'm just being selfish again, aren't I? I think this would be better, but you don't. And that's hurting you. And I never wanted to..." He swallows, his nose crunching up. Suddenly he yells, "I never wanted to hurt you ever again, because I love you, for f***'s sake! I love you, but I did hurt you, because, in the end, no matter what, I'm going to f*** it up anyway! So bye, Y/n!" Suddenly he turns on his feet. Like he doesn't want you to see him cry again. But you can hear the tears in his voice when the last thing he calls back is, "It will go back to normal, and we can pretend none of this ever happened! Pretend I'm a stranger! It's the best for you, anyway, apparently, and all I wanted was the best for you!"
You stare in shock as you watch him get in his car and drive away. You remain seated, gaze straight ahead. Tears well up in your eyes, and your body quivers, yet you manage to compose yourself, rise on unsteady legs, and compel yourself to return to the school to pick up your son.
But that just wasn't right.
I should have stopped him. I should have called him back. I should've.
How far can revenge go before it's gone too far?
For days, the guilt, the hurt, the rue- they weigh on you. Every moment of your days, it consumes your thoughts. Regret and confusion and anger fill you in every step, engulfing your every move. And if you thought you weren't getting any sleep before, now it's even worse.
You long to fix it, but you are unsure of how. Despite everything... You can't see how Charles isn't being honest. You want to have faith in him. A small part of you may even want to love him, just a little bit.
You're also fearful. Fearful of reaching out to him, because you don't know what you'd do. You have no idea.
But now you're dropping your son off at Charles's house. You swallow, and suddenly, on a whim, when you see Charles walking outside, waiting for Y/s/n, you get out of the car, too.
"Mama?" your son asks with a confused expression, still maintaining a little smile on his face.
You smile back down at him and say, "I'm walking you up to your daddy's house today, is all."
He shrug and nods, apparently accepting this.
He's such a good kid.
As you approach Charles, your smile twitches while you study him, but you say softly, "Hey, um... I... We..." Your tone sounds weak.
"Yes?" Charles asks, looking up. He looks perfect. As always.
Your eyes lock.
Please, Charles. I don't know how to say this. Please just understand.
His eyes remain blank. You let out a sigh.
And suddenly, you hug him.
Charles seems taken aback for only a moment, before he immediately hugs you back and says softly, "Hey... Want to come inside with me and Y/s/n?"
You nod. "Yes... Yes, please."
So Charles leads the two of you up to his flat. You sit down together on the couch, once again.
Last time you did this was the moment Charles cried out to you.
"Y/n, people change."
You swallow at the memory.
Is this another paradox? This time, will I be the one crying out to him?
Y/s/n is about to hop on the couch between you, but suddenly Charles scoops him up and says, "Hey, hey! I didn't get my hug from you yet, did I?!"
Your son giggles, getting comfortable on his father's lap, before giving him a big hug. "I scored a goal, Daddy..."
"You scored a goal?!" he grins. "Seriously?"
"Yeah! Mama cheered me on! I scored a goal when I played football!"
Charles looks so bright. Happy with his son. So proud. He doesn't get to see him as often as you do. "No way. You've got to be joking. Was it the winning goal?"
"Yep!" your son says proudly.
You find yourself smiling.
"Oh yeah, what was the score?"
Your son shrugs. "Dunno! But we won!"
You smile and mutter softly, "I think it was 4-1." Y/s/n plays in the little league team affiliated with his school.
"Yeah, but my goal made it 2-1, so I won it," he brags to his father.
Charles grins. "Oh, I'm sure it did. You know, I don't know where you got that talent for football from. Do you think Mama is good at football?"
Your son just shrugs with a grin, enjoying the affirmation from his father. "Dunno! But Mama is good at cuddling and playing with me."
Charles laughs. "Yeah, your mama takes good care of you." He glances at you with sparkling eyes, before looking back down at his son.
The two continue babbling on about sports and football and what not, until Charles finally ruffles his son's hair and says, "Well, buddy, I reckon it's time for me and Mama to have some alone time."
Y/s/n frowns. "Aw, why?"
"Because I want to talk with Mama about things that you won't care about. Boring grown-up stuff. Doesn't sound very fun, does it?"
Y/s/n shrugs, still looking uncertain.
"Hey, don't look so down. How about this? I'll go put on Cars for you. How's that sound?"
Your son grins at this, immediately jumping up, his demeanor changing abruptly. "Yeah, yeah!" he squeals, and you watch as Charles leaves with him to go set him up with that in another room.
But soon Charles is back. He gently shuts the door behind him as he enters the room, and immediately sits down next to you, facing you once more. "Hey, Y/n..." he says in a tentative but gentle tone.
You swallow. "Hey, Charles..." You feel yourself getting nervous again. "You're so... You're so good with Y/s/n."
He smiles. "You are, too."
There's no, And I'm sure we'd be even better with him together.
Charles meant it when he said he'd give up on it.
But you move closer to him. You take his hands. "This is a lot for me, Charles. I'm scared. I'm having issues with trust."
He nods slowly. "I know... I know..."
You swallow, and hug him again.
He holds you, hugging you back. He kisses your cheek. He whispers, "I understand if you're afraid. I understand if you're scared, or if you're having issues with trust. I'm so deeply sorry I've broken you like that."
Y/n, people change. And I can change.
The words come crashing into your mind like a ton of bricks, emerging from the depths of your memory.
"Charles-" you break in, your voice cracking. "Those words have haunted me."
"What words...?" he mutters softly.
You swallow. Breathe slowly. And you whisper, "You said to me 'Y/n, people change. And I can change.'"
"I have changed," he whispers.
"But," your voice cracks. "You said a lot of other s***, too. I remember, during our honeymoon..." A tear rolls down your face as Charles continues to hold you. "You said I'm yours and you're mine. You said we'd be forever. You said you'd do anything for me. You said we'd have three kids together, and you'd never stop loving me, and we would be a happy family. You said we'd grow old together, Charles. That's what you said. But all those promises- they were broken... They were broken."
"You didn't want them to be," he whispers calmly. "But don't you realize? Perhaps those promises were not broken, but rather, they have just not yet been fulfilled."
You look up at him, blinking. More tears roll down your cheeks. Charles gently wipes them away.
"I want to be able to fix what I did wrong. I want to be able to fulfill those promises I made to you. That's what I want, Y/n."
"Charles..." you breathe.
He looks so perfect.
"Yes?" he asks gently.
Your lip quivers, and you lean into his shoulder, and you sob.
And he lets you.
For however long, he holds you there, rubbing your back, letting you weep. Finally, you get a hold of yourself, and slowly pull away. You wipe your wet eyes with the backs of your hands, before sighing. "Charles, if we were to do this... If I were to give in..." You sniff. Your voice cracks again as you utter, "Please, don't hurt me again. I can't survive it again. I can't let you put me through that again..."
He pulls you to him again and whispers in your ear, "I won't. I won't. I won't let you down this time. Please don't be afraid of me... I want to love you... Let me love you... If you'll just let me, we can fix this... We have have a relationship in which we communicate more. Oh, Y/n..." he sighs. "Don't you realize how much I care? I- I would give my life for you."
You blink, staring at him.
Everything looks so promising. That's why you're scared.
It almost looks too promising.
"You say you would give your life for me. But would you really? Maybe you would you give your life for me if it meant losing it. But would you give your life to me while you're still alive? Would you clean the dishes? Would you help me when I'm sick? Would you grab an extra ingredient from the store if I needed it? Would you drive Y/s/n to school when you could? Would you really? You're gone half the year, as it is."
His jaw clenches, then un-clenches. "I would do anything and everything I could do for you. I want to share my life for you. Until death. And I'm one hundred percent sure on that. I've had years of thinking about this." There's hope in his lovely eyes.
So much hope.
You sigh, staring down at your lap.
"Y/n. I'm sorry. Please. Not only do I need your forgiveness. But your son does, too." He hesitates. "And I hope you know no matter what happens, the guilt of what I've done to you will weigh on me my whole life. That's why I want to fix it."
You gently slip your hand in his and whisper, "Please don't hurt me."
He wraps his fingers around your hand, holding it. "I won't."
You nod slowly, another tear rolls down your cheek, and it feels like all the molecules in your body are being ripped apart as you barely whisper, "Okay, Charles. We can try this again."
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