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toto-dreamer · 2 years ago

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flowers will grow (in the saddest parts of you)

It really is quite pretty.

The sky, that is. Despite it all. It’s blue today, with a hint of red, which makes purple. Doesn’t it? What does red and blue make again? You squint, because you don’t remember, especially since there’s a headache forming behind your eyes. It’s difficult to think. The pounding intensifies. Maybe you��re thinking too hard. Or maybe it’s because of the hand currently wrapped around your throat.

Oh. Right. You swing, and the bat you’re holding collides with Quinn’s face in a spray of blood and bone. They don’t get back up. You don’t either. The sky is slowly infecting itself with strains of purple and ghostly wisps of clouds. If you squint, they almost resemble lavenders. You wonder if they match the bruises on your throat.

Something in your lungs shrivels at the thought. It’s alright. You don’t breathe much anymore these days anyway.

It came with the wind, as all things do. The end of the world, that is. Everyone choking on weeds that crowd their lungs and take control of their limbs to turn them into undead muppets. People thought it was the rapture, the world crashing to a close with an aromatic reaper as their herald. They weren’t that far off. At least that’s what Quinn always said. “Let’s be real, have you really felt alive since then?” So the world did end, only metaphorically, and if you could you would laugh and laugh at that. But the flowers would crowd your airways and you would choke and gag and wonder if you’re about to die for a few minutes.

When you first met Quinn, when their mind was still sharp and fingers soft, they would push up their glasses and talk about increased levels of oxytocin and flower symbolism and the human condition. You never really listened, but now you wish you did. Quinn’s been too busy recently spitting out flowers to say anything about science and love.

Today, there’s a crater in Quinn’s head. A meteor crashed into it and everything died. Boom. Like the dinosaurs. Except that’s not how it happened, was it, there was large-scale climate change and… and…

You don’t really remember. A headache pounds behind your eyes. You decide you should stop thinking.

Quinn still isn’t closing their eyes so you close them for them. They were staring at you oddly. Something about them makes you want to run so you do. You can’t really run anymore with the vines around your ankles but you limp onwards, wheezing air and black bile around the leaves in your mouth. Something about Quinn makes you feel ill. Something about yourself makes you want to retch. Perhaps if you run fast enough, you’ll run right out of your skin and fall through the earth into somewhere better. Somewhere not here.

You retch up willow leaves two blocks over. Disappointment is a blood clot in your throat. Flowers are peaking between the pores of your skin. Maybe you thought they would go away once Quinn is gone. It’s getting worse instead. You can’t feel your left arm anymore. Would you look at that? There’s vines between the joints. Whether you like it or not, it’s all coming to an end soon.

This really isn’t that bad of a place to die. Sunset. Quiet streets. The screams of the damned in the distance. You can’t be picky in the apocalypse. It’ll be better if Quinn is here with you. What happened to them? Your head feels fuzzy and your limbs feel weighted with the flowers that wind around your bones. How long has it been since you got sick? How bad has it gotten?

You meander your way over to a hill. Though it would be more accurate to call it a bump than a hill. If you lay down on the grass with your head on said bump you can get a perfect view of both the sky and the street, dusted with a layer of golden sunlight. It’s beautiful. Something in your chest hurts. You’re going to die, a far-off feeling says, unless you stop thinking like this. Except you like the way it feels, an ache but in a pleasant way, like your muscles after a workout. No pain without gain. That’s what Quinn always said.

It’s strange, isn’t it? The last of your attachments are gone. The flowers should be gone too. Or at least going. You yank at some of the flowers growing out of your nails but it hurts, so you stop. What could you possibly be loving that’s still killing you?

Thinking makes your head hurt. You wriggle on the grass, like a worm, trying to get comfortable. It’s practice for the rest of your existence. “Would you still love me if I was a worm?” You ask Quinn, but they’re not here to answer. Should you get your affairs in order? What affairs would those be? Dying without any regrets… that’s a thing most people aspire towards, isn’t it? You’ve done pretty well, all things considered.

Except there’s still something grey and unpleasant in your throat as you watch the sun crawl towards the horizon. Goodbye, it says, a beam of sunlight stretching up in a wave. That thing in your chest hurts more. Hurts enough that you want to wail and shout and do other emotional things you haven’t thought of doing in a while. Your fingers curl into the green grass and pull. Dirt soaked with blood swallows your arms. Blue petals clog up your throat. White ones cloud your vision. You pry them open. If this is it, you want the last thing you see to be the sky. This world.

Oh. Is that it? There’s a tickle in your throat. Is that laughter or flowers? You want to cry, but the petals soak in your tears like raindrops on fertile soil.

As you sink into the earth, you think you hear it laughing.

#tw: death #the blooming dead #inspired by that #but add a bit of hanahaki #and make it the early days of the apocalypse #zombies #flower zombies #flowers #totodreamer's writing #my writing #writing #writers

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metalandmagi · 1 year ago

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Romance Anime Starter List

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick and tired of seeing “Top ___ Best Anime of All Time” lists that are nothing but shounen. So, with "My Happy Marriage" getting a little attention from the anime community, I wanted to put together a list of some romance anime that I consider good “starters” for the genre. Because if I were just now becoming an anime fan, I’d think all there was to offer was shounen action series.

And by “starters” I mean basic stuff that’s not too…out there, and actually involves the characters getting together instead of just harems or using romance as a side plot (sorry Ouran High School Host Club and My Next Life as a Villainess).

So if you’re new to anime and want stuff that’s not just guys beating the shit out of each other (which is also fun, don’t get me wrong), here are some basics.

Taisho Maiden Fairy Tale- When the pessimistic Tamahiko Shima loses all function in his right arm, his family sends him away to live in the mountains with the cheerful, hard working Yuzuki Tachibana…who was purchased by the Shima family to pay off her family’s debts and basically act as a caretaker/future bride for Tamahiko so they’d never have to deal with him again. It’s a more cheerful version of My Happy Marriage (without the supernatural stuff), except in this one, the guy is the one who has massive self-esteem issues and an abusive family. There are still very serious themes, but ultimately it’s not meant to make you cry every episode. I swear it’s so good, but nobody watched it!

Horimiya- A slice of life in which pretty and popular high school queen bee Hori, finds out her quiet, unassuming classmate Miyamura is hiding piercings and tattoos that could get him expelled. The two gradually find out more about each other and get together in the most realistic way I’ve seen depicted in an anime. It’s also fucking hysterical and genuinely emotional.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie- Another slice of life that focuses on two adults who meet in an MMO game without realizing they also know each other in real life. I don’t want to say much more than that. It’s adorable, and the main character is so relatable it hurts.

Love with Yamada-kun at Level 999- Speaking of MMOs, this is a newer series about Akane Kinoshita, a college first year who’s reeling from a bad break up. In an attempt to get back at her ex, she winds up meeting Akito Yamada, a popular gamer who happens to be in her guild in the MMO they both play at an IRL meetup. The two go from acquaintances to something more as they keep running into each other. Even more relatable main characters and just wholesome relationships all around.

Snow White With The Red Hair- A fantasy in which an apothecary named Shirayuki (meaning, you guessed it, “snow white”) runs away from her home in order to escape becoming the concubine of her town’s prince. While fleeing, she is rescued by Zen, the prince of a neighboring country, and she ends up becoming an herbalist to repay him. It's super cute with some genuinely swoon worthy moments and a couple that just works so well together. I have a habit of comparing this to Akatsuki no Yona, even though the two aren’t really that alike. This is more romance driven while Akatsuki no Yona is more of a serious historical fantasy with romance elements (Yona manga is amazing, but the anime barely scratches the surface, so that’s why I didn’t include it).

Sasaki to Miyano- When the shy, easily flustered Miyano meets Sasaki, a cool “delinquent” upperclassmen, the two end up bonding over manga…specifically BL manga. That’s right, Miyano is a fudanshi, but due to his small stature and somewhat feminine appearance, he’s constantly trying to convince others that he’s not interested in having his own love story where he’d be reduced to a stereotypical doe-eyed uke. But as Sasaki and Miyano spend more time together, they realize that what they have is more than friendship, and they have to come to terms with their own perception of gay relationships. This is my favorite romance of all time. It’s a slow burn, but boy is it worth it. Their relationship is so natural and realistic, just like Horimiya. Just two people hanging out and bonding over things the way people do in real life!

Given: The story of some boys in a band with trauma. Enough said. It's great. Go watch it.

Bloom Into You- Yuu Koito is a high school girl who’s been waiting her whole life for her own perfect romance to start…but when she receives a confession, she realizes she doesn’t know how to respond when she’s just not into the guy. And then she gets another confession…this time from the cool student council president Touko Nanami, who basically jumpstarts her lesbian awakening. Very cute story about how we perceive the concept of love vs actually feeling it. Also has a canonically aro/ace side character, so that’s a win for me. Another show like this is Adachi to Shimamura (but I honestly don’t remember much about it. It just didn’t stick with me as much).

Ore Monogatari- Takeo Gouda is a tall, bulky high school first year with a sensitive heart of gold. He wants nothing more than to find his own true love, but most girls are intimidated by his enormous stature, and they end up falling for his conventionally attractive friend instead. That is, until he meets the tiny, adorable Rinko Yamato. He falls in love instantly, but he’s sure she’s interested in his best friend like everyone else, so he vows to help get them together, even though his heart is breaking. Peak himbo behavior. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.

Yuri on Ice- Yes it’s the gay figure skating anime everyone knows. And yes it’s a fucking romance, okay? I will die on this hill. The romance between Viktor and Yuri is just as important as the plot!

Kaguya-sama Love Is War- Two insanely smart high school students both have a crush on the other, but since they’re…you know…high schoolers, neither of them wants to admit it first. So they come up with increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess first. This will go down as one of the best of all time. It’s a hilarious yet poignant modern classic.

Fruits Basket- I’ve talked about it before and I’ll talk about it again. A romance “comedy” that slowly morphs into a drama about a girl named Tohru who finds herself living with the mysterious Sohma family after her mother dies. Little does she know, the Sohmas are the victims of a (somewhat silly, but ultimately tragic) curse that she must fight to break. Even though I’m more into it for the family drama, the romance is still top tier and plays an important role in the story. This is my second favorite anime of all time, and it’s a classic for a reason. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet, GO WATCH IT! IT WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS!

Blue Box- A sports romance about an aspiring badminton player named Taiki Inomata who has a massive crush on the girls basketball team's star player Chinatsu Kano. Through a twist of fate, the two end up living together and having to hide it from the rest of their classmates, all while Taiki tries to work up the courage to ask Chinatsu out. It's so sweet and wholesome, and it's a great blend of sports anime and romance that can appeal to anyone who is more hesitant to get into the romance genre. The animation is also so freaking gorgeous!!!!

365 Days To The Wedding- A workplace romance between the two most awkward people you could possibly imagine! The story takes place at a travel company that is about to open a new branch in Alaska, but because our two main characters are...like I said...very awkward, they come up with a plan to avoid being sent to work at the new branch...by telling their boss they're getting married. Because they wouldn't want to split up a married couple by making one move away, right? As ridiculous as the premise sounds, hilarious shenanigans ensue, but there's also a surprising amount of serious discussions about romance and marriage. The main characters also have major autism coding, so if you're looking for a neurodivergent romance, this is it. (There's also an episode that involves a princess wanting to give up the throne to pursue a life with her girlfriend!)

And now for some honorable mentions that didn't quite fit into the regular list:

Ride Your Wave- A movie about a surfer who falls in love with a firefighter……and I’m not going to say any more than that. Go into it blind. If you like stuff like Your Name, this is a good one to watch.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun- A comedy about a high school girl who finds out the upperclassman she has a crush on is actually a shoujo manga artist, and no matter how she tries to confess to him, he just never gets it.

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague- A slow burn slice of life that focuses on a guy with ice powers who has a crush on his coworker. That’s it. That’s the show. When I say slow, I mean SLOW. It’s perfectly cute and fluffy, but my god does it take forever to get anywhere with these two.

Skip to Loafer- A high strung, small town girl decides to go to high school in Tokyo, where she meets a variety of classmates, including the laid back Sousuke Shima. The unlikely pair become friends, and soon enough, she starts to feel something more than friendship. The only reason I didn’t include it in the main list is because they don’t get together by the end of the first season, but it’s still really cute (also canonically trans character for the win!?)

So that’s my starter list. And no, I didn’t include Toradora, even though it’s a classic. I know it’s blasphemous, but I like it more as a comedy than a romance. It kinda lost me with the ending. But anyway, maybe someone will find something they like. Or maybe you'll just want to roast me and my picks 😅

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