#the biting our tongue thing only works 20% of the time btw

[syn4k]

it sounded better in my head

[the-iceni-bitch]

How about 20 and 38 with Ransom? I love your blog btw, you are a fabulous writer!

20) “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.”

38) “I need you. Now!”

I started giggling evilly as soon as I got this ask nonnie, so thank you for that!

What a surprise, it’s our OTP again!! (Tagging my babes @stargazingfangirl18 @chrissquares @subtlebucky @egcdeath)

Send me smutty prompts!!!!

Guys, it’s smut so no minors please!

You chugged another mimosa to cover your eye roll as Jodi started talking about her damn lifestyle brand again.

This was the third time she’d brought it up during the Thrombeys’ monthly brunch. It was like she was shelling a fucking MLM.

You hated that you had been forced to sit with the other women while the boys were out back shooting skeet, but after your last interaction with the family you thought it would be best to avoid making waves as much as possible. And if that meant sitting through inane conversation with the other women, whatever.

It wasn’t the fact that it was girl talk that bothered you. It was as that all of these women were so fucking out of touch with reality that every single thing out of their mouths was like nails on a chalkboard to you. At least if Meg has been there you would’ve had someone relatively normal to engage with, but she was cramming for finals so no such luck.

“Do you really think you should have another drink, Y/N?” Linda tutted condescendingly as you moved to pour yourself another mimosa from the pitcher.

You bit back your comment about her downing six Bloody Marys and gave her a suffering grin. “They’re just so delicious, and it’s not like I have to drive any where.”

“That’s right, you have my son to chauffeur you around.” She muttered as she fidgeted with her blouse. “It must be so nice knowing he’s there to take care of everything for you.”

You practically slammed your glass down, totally ready to give up your resolution to not start a fight as you took a deep breath when suddenly Ransom burst into the sun room, his cheeks flushed from the chill outside.

“Hey babe.” He beamed at you before bending over the back of the sofa you were sitting on to press his lips to yours in an absolutely obscene kiss.

His fingers curled lightly around the base of your throat as he stroked your tongue with his own, tugging at your lips with his teeth until you were moaning wantonly into his mouth, your body trying to arch further towards him and your nipples pebbling under your blouse as a rush of arousal seeped out of you.

“I need you. Now!” He whispered once he broke away, low enough that only you could hear him as you struggled to catch your breath.

You turned back to the three older women to see them giving you very disapproving looks as you quickly downed the rest of your drink before slowly rising off the sofa and smoothing your hands over your pants.

“Ladies.” You said before giving Linda a wicked grin. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta help Ransom take care of something.”

You chuckled to yourself as you heard her splutter with rage behind you when you followed Ransom out into the hall. He dragged you into the bathroom and kicked the door closed behind you, pinning you to it before giving you another searing kiss.

“Was my mom being a bitch again?” He asked as he untucked your blouse and skimmed his hands up your sides before cupping your breasts.

“Yeah, pretty sure she thinks I’m only with you for your money.” You grinned against his lips as your started to undo his belt. “Shows how much she knows. I’m just using you for sex.”

He laughed into your mouth at that, bringing one hand down to grip your ass, pressing you into him as he ground his crotch against you.

“What about you? Why are you so hot and bothered?” You sighed as he moved his mouth down to trace your jaw.

“Just, fucking Walt.” He grumbled, his fingers undoing the buttons of your blouse as he continued to press his growing erection against the seam of your pants, rubbing it right over your clit. “It was either this or shoot him and that little nazi shit.”

“Mmm, good thing I was here then.” You murmured as you wrapped one leg around him. “Don’t stop moving.”

“Jesus, already?” He asked, bringing his face back up to inspect yours as you writhed against him. “We haven’t even gotten to second yet.”

“Yeah, well don’t fucking kiss me like that in front of your family unless you wanna turn me into a wet mess, Hugh.”

“That’s all it takes?” He grinned as he pressed even harder against you, making you bite your lip to swallow a moan. “I’m gonna have to remember that.”

He pressed his lips to yours and twisted his hips slightly and that was it. You felt a shockwave travel up your spine as a wave of bliss spread from your core, your muscles quivering as you fluttered around nothing and your release flooded your panties.

Your breath came in ragged gasps as you came down, sawing in your chest as you struggled to regulate it. You finally relaxed and met Ransom’s eyes, grinning at him.

“You treat me so good baby.” You muttered, giving him a quick peck to his lips as you unwound yourself from him. “Gonna take care of you now.”

You sank to your knees in front of him and rubbed your face into the front of his pants, nipping at the outline of his hard cock as you worked at undoing his fly.

“Shit, Y/N!” He hissed as you yanked his pants and boxer briefs down his thighs, freeing his cock to bounce back up against his abs.

You just gazed up at him through your lashes as you spat in your palm then wrapped your hand around his length, sucking his sack into your mouth as you started to stroke him.

“Fuck, oh my god.” Ransom groaned, his breath coming in shallow pants when you swirled your thumb through the precum collected at his tip at the same time you dragged your tongue over the vein that ran over the base of his cock.

“You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.” You ordered before taking him in your mouth and sucking while you swirled your tongue around his sensitive head.

“Yes, ma’am.” He whispered, swallowing a cry as you took him deeper, hollowing your cheeks as you drew him further into your mouth.

His hands wrapped in your hair as you kept bobbing your head up and down his length, your hand coming up to fondle his balls as you worked him over. You felt his tip hi the back of your throat and you relaxed, taking him even deeper and swallowing around his cock.

He stopped caring that he was just fifteen feet away from his family and let out a feral growl, his hips and hand moving on their own accord as he started to fuck your throat. You gripped his thighs as you let him work, gazing up at him through your lashes as drool leaked from the corners of your mouth, doing your best to breathe through your nose.

“Fuck, I wanna come all over that pretty face.” He muttered as his cock twitched at the back of your throat, his hips starting to falter in their rhythm. “That ok with you honey?”

You hummed your approval around his cock and he pulled out of you, his hand in your hair tilting your head back as his other tugged at his dick harshly until his cum was shooting all over your cheeks and chin, smearing over your lips as he rubbed his tip against them. He groaned as he finished, slapping the head of his cock against your swollen mouth until he had nothing left to give you.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this, honey.” He murmured as he smeared his thumbs through his spend on your lips before slipping it into your mouth, moaning as you swirled your tongue around it.

You grinned at him and started to stand up before there was a pounding on the bathroom door.

“Who is it?” You called, winking at Ransom and dragging your thumb slowly over your face to collect his cum as you watched him tuck himself back into his pants.

“It’s Linda.” Ransom’s mother called through the door as you sucked your thumb into your mouth, moaning as you tasted his spend. “If you two are quite finished behaving like teenagers, there’s a bit of a line forming.”

You rolled your eyes and moved to open the door, Ransom trying to move to stop you as you still had some of his cum smeared across you chin. You just shook your head at him as you wrenched it open, giving Linda a shit eating grin.

“So sorry Linda, it’s all yours.” You beamed at her, pointedly dragging your thumb over your chin and sucking the rest of her son’s spend into your mouth, moaning pornographically as you maintainted eye contact with her and stepped out into the hall.

Ransom followed after you, shrugging at his mother and laughing like an idiot as he wrapped one arm around your waist and nuzzled into your hair, his lips brushing against the hinge of your jaw.

“Pretty sure that solidified your mom’s hatred of me.” You said with a sly smile, turning to face Ransom as the two of you headed out to the beemer.

“Please, like that matters to me.” He didn’t know how he had ever survived family functions without you before, but he was bringing you to all of them from now on.

——————————————————————————

A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I feel just the teensiest bit bad about what I did to Linda here but whatever!

[wildlyminiaturesandwich]

I have OPINIONS

If Game Changers say we like something, we’re “being fake” and “afraid to lose our title”. If we say we don’t like something, we’re “being ungrateful” and “shouldn’t be allowed to represent the company”.

Whatever about all that, I have opinions about this anniversary business and tbh my tongue hurts from biting it. So what the hell, have my opinions that literally no one asked for 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight first, I don’t blame the Sims Team for any of this. We all know the Sims Team has a budget to work from that EA give them, and we all know that budget is FAR lower than any of EA’s other franchises. So I’m guessing what we got is exactly what the budget allowed for, which is just sad.

I don’t hate the hot tub, it’s a cool object with some nice swatches, but it’s an object we already have. It’s literally just one of the other hot tubs with a roof over it, which as Fab Flubs proved, can be done already without that “new” hot tub. There’s been a disturbing habit from the Sims Team lately of recycling objects for new packs, but to do this for something that’s supposed to be a thank you to the community that’s supported them for so long?! Not okay. And if they were going to give us a hot tub anyway, why didn’t they make it a heart-shaped hot tub for nostalgia, but this is all besides the point.

I really just want to know who approved this! Who was sitting in a meeting and going “A hot tub we’ve already used but for base game and with a roof and some lights? Nailed it. They’ll love it.” Were they high?! Or did they just forget completely and got to the day before the anniversary and had to scramble to come up with something? Who thought it would be a good idea to take a hero object from a previous pack and make it base game?

If you don’t know what a hero object is, it’s the object in a pack that the team generally spend the most time on, it’s the one object they know people want the most and will buy the pack just for that one item. For example the murphy bed from Tiny Living, the washers/dryers from Laundry Day, the photo studio from Moschino, the climbing wall from Fitness Stuff, the bowling lane from Bowling Night, etc etc. Think about it, how many people would have bought Perfect Patio if it didn’t have the hot tub? I would have, but I’m stupid when it comes to buying ALL packs, that’s well established lol Don’t get me wrong, it’s really cool that those that haven’t bought the pack can now use hot tubs, but for those that bought the pack specifically for that hero object, it’s a slap in the face.

Second, and this is my biggest issue with this whole thing, IT’S THEIR 20TH ANNIVERSARY. There are so many people that are like “you don’t give other people gifts on your birthday, do you?” No I don’t, but I’m not a multi-billion dollar gaming company in an industry where one franchise reaching 20 years is a MASSIVE deal! Most franchises don’t last past 5 years and those that do make a huge deal about every year they make it to after that.

Take Blizzard for example, World of Warcraft just made it to 15 years and they went big. Not only did their anniversary celebration last from November to January, but they opened up old raids for higher level players, which had higher drop rates for some long sought after mounts during the celebration and when completed gave you an achievement that awarded you with a guaranteed mount that looks like Deathwing, a raid boss from one of the first expansions (hello nostalgia!), and they opened up an old battleground that when completed could earn you two other new mounts. They also sent out celebration packages to every single character’s mailbox (not just every player, but every single character... each player is allowed 50 characters per account btw) that contained a 15% increased xp and rep gain token that lasted for the duration of the anniversary celebration AND a cute little battle pet that again, was inspired by another old raid boss, Nefarian. And on top of all of that, you were also able to purchase goodies from previous anniversary celebrations from an NPC for those two months of the celebration.

I dunno about you, but to me that’s a crazy amount of nostalgia and goodies, and Blizzard always celebrate their anniversaries in this kind of style, even the ones that aren’t “major” milestones.

So why isn’t EA making a big deal about the Sims 20th anniversary? In fact, literally everyone else is making more of a fuss about it than EA! There have been dozens of interviews with Game Changers and devs alike. The Fader, Playstation, MTV News, Polygon, EB Games, NVIDIA, Youtube Gaming, Discord, IGN, Need For Speed Spain, and hell even The Onion tweeted about it. Thousands of members of the community have shared their sweet nostalgic stories about how long they’ve been playing The Sims and what the games have meant to them.

And EA gives us a giveaway, a patch with a couple simlish songs, only 3 minor bug fixes and a recycled hot tub, a graphic that seems to be full of random numbers that mean nothing, and more ways to give them our money (new expensive merch that doesn’t even really scream “it’s our birthday!”). I’m sorry but where’s the nostalgia? Where’s the real thanks to the community that has supported them for 20 years? It’s just so disappointing, and yet, not surprising at all. It’s become normal to see something like this happen and think “Well, did we really expect anything different from them?”, which when you think about it, just seems so wrong.

This franchise has meant so much to so many of us, and it’s sad that we’ve been made to lower our expectations to the point where when something like this happens, we’re not even surprised anymore. We shouldn’t think that way about a game that we’ve grown up with, supported, and loved for 20 years.

[pixie88]

My Science Buff

A/N: Those who play Lovelink know Marco Bottazzi. He recently when grey on me, I miss him so decided to do a FF especially for him! He makes it hard not to fall for him while he sets you up with his best friend. This might be a one shot piece or I might continue I’m not sure yet. Let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged!

Find my other Marco Bottazzi FF HERE on my masterlist under Lovelink - One shots. Along with my Rory Bear & Shopping Trip (Rory O’Brien), Tattoo Artist to Businessman (Blake Bailey) & Photogenic (Dominic Wright) FF. .

Comments always welcome!

Word count: 1649

WARNINGS: ⚠️ MILD NSFW & Fluffy fluff

Disclaimer: Characters are property of Lovelink.

Pairings: Marco X MC - Naomi

Enjoy!

*1 New Message on Lovelink from Marco*

[Hey Naomi, I've broken things off with Sally. She also admitted she has feelings for Taylor. She still loves me but not in the same way she used to. She also said she was forced to realize our spark had disappeared the moment she saw us together]

[Hi handsome, I hope you are ok? Wow, talk about string you along....! So what happens now?]

[*Blushing!* I'm actually........relieved don't get me wrong, I am a little sad 10 years is a long time, but we have been dead in the water for a while it took meeting you to realize that. Now? Sally has moved back to her parents until I find somewhere to live. I was hoping this also means I could take you on a proper date JUST me and you?]

[Just goes to show when you are too close to someone you never really see the situation right in front of you. It always takes an outsider to see what you have become blind to. Sound like you have a plan. A date? Not too soon?]

[Ouch! But I know you are right. Yeah, I can't wait to move on with my life. Too soon? I don't think it is unless you have changed your mind?]

[I am always right, I thought you had figured that out already haha! I haven't changed my mind, I'm just worried it might be too soon for you?]

[I have lol! Definitely not too soon. I want to take you on a date just me and you. A real date please? :( ]

[You are a fast learner haha. OK, how can I say no to a sad face?]

[I am! You can't ;) why don't you come here and I'll teach you how to make Ramen?]

[I'm not comfortable with coming to yours and Sally's place! What if you came here instead?]

[Ok, that's fine. Yeah, I'll grab the ingredients on the way. Are you free tomorrow night?]

[Great, I can't wait! Tomorrow is fine. I get back from work at 5 so shall we say 6 maybe 7?]

[I can't wait either. Awesome I'm excited to see you! Is 7 ok?]

[I am too! 7 is perfect! Do you need me to get anything?]

[Awesome! I'll see you then. Text me your address and no I'll grab everything on the way]

~*~*~*~

The next day I get in from work and go for a shower, I decide on a navy polka dot dress. I leave my hair with wavy curls, I'm just finishing my make up when I hear a knock at the door. I look up at the clock, it only 6.41 pm he's early! I spray myself with perfume and head to the door. I open it, and he stood there with a massive bouquet of flowers.

He's wearing a grey suit and a white unbuttoned shirt, just looking at him gives me butterflies!

"Marco, you didn't have to get those"

"Naomi, I wanted to give you a real romantic date! You look beautiful"

"Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself. Come in,"

He smiles, hands me the flowers as we step inside. "You have a gorgeous home Naomi"

"Thanks, the kitchen is this way" I lead him to the kitchen.

We get to the kitchen, he puts the bags on the side and empties the bags.

"So, what do we need to do?" 

"Chop and wash the ingredients first, then stir fry the pork mince," he says.

"Great, let's get started,"

He smiles "I got us some wine too"

"Great, I'm looking forward to this!"

"Me too!" he smirks.

I get to work on chopping while he cooks the pork. We move around the kitchen together. Each time I look over at him, he's already looking at me. My cheeks burn as I blush. I set up the table as he finishes cooking and dishes up.  I grab the wine and a couple of glasses as he takes over the plates.

We take our seats "Dig in" He says.

As soon as I put the first mouthful in, it's like an explosion of flavours in my mouth "Oh my god Marco this is amazing!"

His face lights up "I'm glad you like it"

"Like it? I love it. Please tell me there is more?"

"There is loads more. Probably enough to feed you for a week" He says.

I laugh. After dinner, I start to clean up when his arms come around me and I turn in his arms to face him.

"Hey" He smiles.

"Hi" my heart is racing.

He brushes a strand of hair away from my face, he leans in his face inches from mine. I close the gap crashing my lips to his, the kiss is electrifying my hands' come round to the nape of his neck and his tongue invades my mouth. He pulls me tighter to him as he deepens the kiss, he lifts me onto the counter this kiss becomes more fierce.

His hand starts to run up my thigh and slips under my dress. We can't get enough of each other, he finds my centre and he brushes against me.

"Marco......we should stop"

He pulls away confused. "Marco, don't get me wrong, I want to I really do but I don't want to rush this. I want it to be special"

He smiles "You're right, let's take it slow"

He helps me down off the kitchen counter "Hey, I forgot dessert!" He pulls a tray out of his shopping bag and unwraps the brown paper.

"I hope you like homemade chocolate brownies"

My face light up "Brownies? You made brownies?"

"Yeah, I thought you might like them?"

"You're going to have to fight me for some" I grab the tray and run but he chases after me.

"Hey!! Come back here with those brownies!" He shouts.

I laugh running away from him, I run behind the couch, and he's on the other side.

"NAOMI!" he says with a smirk

I take a brownie from the tray and take a huge bite "Oh wow! These are amazing! They might even be better than sex!"

He laughs "That's probably because you haven't had sex with me yet" he winks and I blush, this distracts me so I don't have time to react when he jumps on and over my couch and grabs me.

"Ahhhh!" I scream as he takes the tray off me "One, that was sneaky and two, no shoes on my couch!"

He laughs, "Sorry, I'll make it up to you by baking you a mountain load of brownies?"

I smirk "Ok, I forgive you!"

"Good, now let's sit down and eat these" he takes my hand and leads me back to the dining table.

"So, have you found a place to stay?" I ask.

"I actually viewed a place 5 minutes away from here before our date"

"Ooo, so we could be neighbors?!"

He laughs, "Yeah, I guess so!"

"Have you spoken to Taylor since the other day?" I ask.

"Nope, he's being awkward with me. He is ignoring my calls at the moment"

"Why? You did what he asked you to do!"

"I don't know. To be honest with you since he told me about his feelings for Sally. I don't feel like I know him anymore. If that makes sense?"

"Perfect sense! Especially since he's kept a secret from you for so long"

He gives me a weak smile "Let's not talk about them. This is our date, not theirs"

I smile, "So as it's our date. Have you seen there is a Science convention at the weekend?"

His face lights up "Yeah, I actually have two tickets for me and Tay...." he cuts himself off.

"So you are going by yourself?" I ask.

"Yeah, I am now," he says.

"Tell me no if you want but if you still have Taylor's ticket I would love to go with you!"

He's beaming "Really? You would come with me?"

I laugh, "Of course! If you invite me that is!"

He smirks "You said you weren't much of a science buff!"

"I might not be but it's something you like, so I want to take an interest in it. You might have to explain a lot to me, but I'm willing to learn if you're willing to teach? Pun intended" I wink.

"Wow, Sally would never com....know what I would love for you to be my date!"

"Ooo I didn't know it would be a date! I'll have to wear a super sexy outfit" I say with a grin.

"Not too sexy you'll give all those nerds a heart attack" he laughs.

A little while later he's leaving.

"Text me when you're home?"

He smiles "Will do! Thanks for tonight Naomi!"

"Thank you for all the amazing food!" He pulls me to him and plants a soft kiss against my lips.

"I'm so looking forward to this weekend!" He says as he pulls away.

"Me too!" I wink.

He walks down the steps and starts walking down the street to his car as he drives past and waves.

20 minutes later I'm getting ready for bed when my phone vibrates.

*1 New Message on Lovelink from Marco*

[Hey, gorgeous! I really enjoyed tonight and I'm home BTW! Also, do you think we could actually exchange numbers now? Rather than talking through a dating app? X]

[Hi handsome, I had a fab night too so thank you. Glad you made it home safe! Mister Bottazzi I never give my number out before I put out ;P So you have 1, 2, or maybe 5 dates before you earn that privilege! ;) Night xx]

[HOLY CRAP! Now that's all I can think about :( X]

[You're welcome! Nighty night xx]

[I'm going for a cold shower. Sweet dreams X]

I’m tagging you because I know your a Lovelink fan lovely @khoicesbyk​

[apathycarestostudy]

Motivate me to get my butt in gear friend !! Uni opens again in a month !! Must finish syllabus before then !! Must stop reading fics and being in denial! Help! (P.S ily :p♡)

Hello hello love. Here are some tips I think will help, mixed in with a bit of nagging, wrapped up with some tough love!

So here we are. First, I’d like to commend you for recognizing that it’s time to get back on the hamster wheel so soon. You’ve a month left, which is ample enough. 

Don’t beat yourself up with time lost

You might be thinking you should’ve gotten up sooner, or done more, or done something some time ago. That doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, I’m an advocate of owning up to your faults, but for one second - recognize it, acknowledge it, and then move the hell on. Never mull on it unless it poses a problem and mulling on it would fix it. So stop all those thoughts - make a firm decision that you will drop all berating, toxic, or otherwise negative thoughts at the door. It won’t go away soon, you’ll need to keep stopping yourself mid-thought, but try to get it down. It’s a simple thing to start with, and I believe you can do this much. My mom always tells me, once someone apologizes, take their apology and leave it at that. The resentment won’t go away quickly, but release it. And I believe when you apologize to yourself, you should forgive yourself, and release.

So please release it.

The three Ps I just made up - paper, pen & plan (or phone, pad & plan)

I tried lmao. Phones be ruining everything. If you didn’t get it tho, by pad, I meant notepad or memo or whatever’s on phones these days. Specialized apps, all of it. It’s just that none of them started with a P and I -

Get your preferred medium of...recording stuff, and don’t make a plan. Yet. I want you to write down a list of things you need to get down before the month is up. A sentence per task. For example:

Get more connections on LinkedIn

Save up 20% of my allowance

Finish a writing commission

Finish a course I signed up for

(..........)

So something like that. One liners you need to finish up. And then don’t plan yet. After you’re done listing everything that needs to get done, you split the page in half (or just write it next to it in parentheses on your phone like this) and write “constraints”. Not emotional ones at first - try and write a logical constraint. Like for the course I signed up for, the logical constraint would be I have no time for it anymore because I got something better - an internship opportunity - and the emotional constraint would be I’m not interested in it anymore, or I don’t wanna lol. So write up some logical constraints. Is the workload a lot? Are you family members sending you off to do stuff for them and you have no choice but to do them and forsake your time? Do you not have an empty notebook to get started? These are all valid hurdles you may face.

Now, if you have some that have no constraints yet, write your emotional ones. You don’t want to. You’d rather do something else. Fanfiction. All of that. 

Look back at your list. What’s causing the emotional ones? How can you get rid of the logical ones? Remove them, run away from them, address them, or ignore them - pick one.

Now, plan.

Distractions

So when I feel like I should get up and do something, I’m learning to seize that feeling prematurely and do it. I say prematurely because you know when the thought matures, you’re gonna talk yourself out of it or dismiss it, so you gotta grab that as soon as it crosses your mind. How to stop doing what you’re doing immediately? Remove access to the distraction. And I don’t mean use those apps - although if it works for you, go on with your bad self. If not, do the old school method of throwing your phone to the roof of your cupboard. 

Yeah. I had this period of time where nothing stopped me from indulging in fanficion - not even deadlines and consequences, which are the biggest things that drive me to do stuff, and the only way I could get over it was to throw my phone over the cupboard. I gave myself a hurdle to stop me from pulling it back towards myself, and not only that, imagine the shame of getting a chair, dragging it all the way to the cupboard, climbing up on that thing, and then pulling your phone down - just squeezing lemon juice in your damn eye and living with that burn. So, put a hurdle up.

(cupboard = dresser btw, not sure which word y’all use so)

You don’t need a whole lot to get started

Going back to not having an empty notebook. There was a time I needed one to get started, but I didn’t want to go out and buy one, and so I kept putting off my work and blaming the fact that I don’t have a notebook. You don’t really need the notebook to get started. I could’ve easily pulled out my laptop and used One Note or MS Word or whatever if I really wanted to work. I mean I hate using digital stuff, but I could’ve sucked it up if I really didn’t want to go out and really wanted to work. The right answer was I really didn’t want to work, not the notebook.

Just start. Screw the notebook, screw your shitty pen, screw the messy table - just start. Shove all the mess to the edge and cram your arms in that tiny space and just start. You don’t need highlighters or a bottle of water or quiet time or the lights dimmed three notches down or your face moisturized or your plants watered - just start.

Not saying all of that is unnecessary, or wouldn’t help, but when it comes down to it, you don’t need all that to start. Don’t waste your time preparing to study or work. Just start.

Just start. Get your scrappy paper that’s 1/4 cut in a weird angle and just start.

One thing is better than nothing

I know I’ve said that a whole lot. A WHOLE LOT. But it’s true, and you truly need to take that to heart. If you’ve scratched one thing off your list, that’s good. 

But here’s what I’d do if I felt like I needed to do more.

First, seize that feeling. Next, do more. Start a little mantra of, “Just one more!” and do it like you’re taking one more cookie out the cookie jar. One more cupcake. One more chip. One more practice question. Romanticize it. Say it like you desperately want it, even if you don’t and do it. Oftentimes it’s the start that has us feeling some type of way, but once you accept what it is - as in you start eating it a little more quickly - you’ll sink into it and release that feeling. Next thing you know, you’ll find yourself done with one more thing.

Still tho, one thing today is one thing off your plate. Celebrate that, and promise you’ll do one more - at that moment or some other time.

Lesson from Naruto: give yourself a self-rule!

So there was this character in Naruto that was a total failure. He didn’t make it into the ninja academy, so he decided to give himself a self-rule: “If I run 500 laps, I’ll be accepted as an alternate.” which means he’ll be placed as a back up in case an already accepted student drops out. His father finds out, scolds him, and says that’s not a self-rule. That’s a wish. A self-rule doesn’t involve anyone else. A failure to accomplish what you say is accountable to you. Not circumstance, not anyone else. 

His father says, “Because of that [a self-rule on your self only], you are able to gather your strengths and focus on your efforts...That is how a self-rule works!” So how does the character change it? “If I can’t do 500 laps on my hands, I’ll do 500 push-ups!”

You see what I’m going for? 

I am not saying do 500 laps on your hands - this is a ninja anime we’re talking about here - I’m saying apply a self-rule that keeps you accountable and feeds into your efforts. Say, “If I can’t do ten practice questions, I’ll do ten rounds of this example question!” Give yourself an alternative you have to do if you fail your first attempt, and have it be of the same magnitude. What happens if you can’t do both? Keep adding on of course! The character would say, “If I can’t do 500 laps on my hands, I’ll do 500 push-ups! And if I can’t do 500 push-ups, I’ll do 500 sit-ups!”

Limitations exist, and you may not be able to get it the first few times, but eventually, the character manages to do 5000 laps - and he falls tiredly into his father’s waiting arms.

Just a little nice bonus I thought would be fun to add. I do something like this, but not as well thought out of course - I’d say something like, “I’ll do process design questions right now, and if I give up half-way, chemical separation processes is waiting for me.”

I thought I’d stop here because it’s getting kind of ramble-y and I think this’ll be enough of a push to get you started. Maybe not a push even - a nice little pat from your friend that’ll evolve into a push by your fine self. You can do it. Just start LOL.

I’mma end this with a positive note from that same episode of Naruto. Here’s a quote from that father to his son when he asked him why he was so chipper when he failed so much and couldn’t be “strong” (as in overcome the obstacles in his way). I see this in our lives, be it with friendships, biting your tongue when your boss yells at you, or giving up after failing a class.

“True victory isn’t about winning from someone strong. It’s about defending what’s important to you!”

[shesawriter39049]

|CHALLENGE| M| 1|

SMUT/ANGST/HUMOR-ISH

**SUGAR DADDY AU WITH A SLIGHT TWIST***

CEO HOSEOK X MATCHMAKER OC

Hoseoks’s kinda an entitled little shit

The OC is sassy AF...his mother would hate her..so she’s perfect!

He’s also smooth,and fine AF and he knows it...but so is she!

There’s not much of an age difference there both in there mid-late 20’s

Hoseok is first-generation Korean Amerian BTW New York-born and raised 

Jimin is Hoseok’s assistant so he will pop in and out of this

5K

ABOUT- Hoseok is currently CEO of “Diamond Supply” a company within “Carbon Black INC“ which is a multi BILLION dollar company founded by Hoseok’s family and four others! The current CEO is Hoshi, which is not Hoseok’s father he’s actually the VP. Hoshi,doesn't have children and he needs to step down from his position. So over the next 6 months, there will be almost like an election period if you will, and the13 board members within the company will be tracking all four of the candidate's business and social stats with a fine-tooth comb. Prior to voting the next heir into his position as CEO of “Carbon Black Inc”!

That’s where Y/N comes in ...Hoseok has everything working in his favor expect the” Imagine” or at least the type that would appease there more “traditional” investors and board members. Y/N who works as a recruiter for Y.G.K. was initially hired to find him a “Sugar Baby” ! Someone to stand by his side and look pretty for the next 6 months to give him a more.”Settled down” image….Initially, that was the plan…..

WARNINGS: There’s just a lot of teasing and sexual tension in this one, light daddy kink reference, Hoseok is a whole dom,  it’s so clear there fucking next chapter lol…. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimins Face alone already had you ready to barge in there before you wasted anymore of you clients time! Damn near throwing the phone at you , not even bothering to say hello in the process! You still couldn’t understand what the issue was, honestly, this was one of the simplest charts you’ve ever had, besides how obnoxiously specific the physical traits were ! It was 80% superficial, personality wise they didn't ask for much!  Just Someone who could take direction well,non-confrontational...submissive is actually what they noted ! Essentially a woman to say yes sir with no questions asked ,damn near wanting a puppet you could feed a script to! That’s exactly who she was ...basically a pretty cockatoo so why isn't this working?!

Yes, yes  you were eavesdropping on your clients “Interview”, and you had no shame,actually, this was Jimin’s idea he was just as annoyed by this shit as you where, the two of you had been going back and forth for damn near a month now! Practically besties at this point! Ariel, the girl currently sitting in Hoseok Jung’s office would be your fourth recruit. He’s rejected three! THREE! You've never had this happen...EVER..and you just can’t wrap your head around it, initially you thought he’d be your easiest client to place. He’s younger than most, richer than most..and more importantly finer than most, whoever landed this job wouldn't have to fake a damn thing! Yet, none of your picks worked..the last girl lasted 12 days...if the bitch would've just made it 2 more you would've gotten your bonus! Which meant you could have finally walked out of YSL, with your new crossbody you've been eyeing for the past 2 months! 

But no such luck, so here you were, sitting next to Jimin, eavesdropping praying for the best, honestly, things where going well..for all of, oh I don't know 5 minutes “Did she really just say her favorite Korean dish was sushi!?” Jimin’s eyes cut in your direction and you literally can’t even at this point. Placing your index and middle finger around the bridge of your nose because suddenly you had the worst headache of your life! “Lodrt” 

“Oh fuck meeeee” Whined from your lips in nothing but defeat, she couldn’t handle him if her life depended on it! Hoseok was far too quick, witty,sarcastic, charming from what you could tell, he didn't seem rude but you could tell he was very..intellectual...she wasn’t. She was young, nothing but arm candy, and he was eating her alive! Dropping your head down on the desk with a long sigh..already giving up, the feeling of Jimin’s hand soothing your shoulder as if he already knew...she was done! Back to the drawing board for the fifth time! 

It wasn’t even a full 10 second before you heard his door creek open, insitally shuffling behind a filing cabinet, as you didnt want to hurt her pride by letting her no you came! I mean, technically it’s not her fault, you don’t want your girls to fake something there not, the reason you get such high reviews is one of your main focus..outside of the aesthetic is the genuine compatibility! Clearly she and the other 3 girls didn't have it, but why couldn’t you read that prior to sending them? This is what you got paid to do, and your typically damn good at it, why wasn’t his chart giving you what you needed to properly satisfy him!?

“Fuck it…” Ripped from your throat as you sauntered into his office once you observed her step into the elevator, Jimin didn't even attempt to stop you. A smug smirk tugging on the corner of his lips as he awaited the results..the glint in his eyes indicating he already knew how this would play out! “Hoseok! We need to talk!” Blurted from your lips as you welcomed yourself into his office, as if you’ve known him for years, closing the door behind you, tossing your bag on his chasie. Hoseok didn't speak initially instead he just took his time,taking you in from head to toe, somewhat impressed actually. It’s not every day someone just barges into his office as if they own the place..now the real question is..who the hell are you?!

There was suddenly a look of nothing but pure mischief dancing along Hoseok's face as he observed you, only you were far too focused on your little spiel running through your head at the moment to notice! Swaying in his direction, in your oversized black blazer that you were currently wearing as a dress. Legs on full display as a pair of black strappy Giuseppe heels laced your feet, just enough cleavage peeking between the lapels to have him curious! Big vintage Chanel earrings dangle from your ears as you welcomed yourself to take a seat in front of his desk.The sweet, yet slightly husky scent of your perfume grace his nose, delicately crossing your legs, reclining into your seat.

“I’m sorry, would you prefer I call you Mr.Jung instead?” Cocking your head to the side slightly, the warm somewhat inviting tenor more than evident in our voice as you batted your lashes in his direction!, Still well aware of the power you possess in a situation like this and you weren’t afraid to use it in your favor! Hoseok was intrigued it didn't matter if it was solely physical, you had his undivided attention... and you planned to spend it wisely! 

A low chuckle rumpled in his chest as he took his own set, dusting his fingers through his dark mane of hair, that sat tousled on top of his head. Hoseok, had a slight undercut, which was lined to perfection..the top long enough where if he parted it to the middle you almost wouldn't know how nicely his sides where faded. The outline of his sideburns framed his disgustingly chiseled jaw to the Tee! A couple not so modest diamonds dusted his ears, fanning against his caramelized complexion. A burgundy paisley dress shirt, laid along his skin caressing every muscle on his body perfectly. Lips naturally pouty, forming almost a heart at their peak, sitting at the perfect shade of pink! 

“Hoseok, Mr.Jung is my father...and you are?” Brow quirked in curiosity, the base in his voice catching you off guard, so was his avid eye contact… but you were smoother than that, this wasn’t your first rodeo!

“I’m Y/N...the recruiter for Y.G.K-”

There was a dry scoff that left his lips at that, nothing subtle about the current disposition he had towards you and to be fair you couldn't blame him so you bit your tongue! “ I stopped in to see what the issue was, I've never had to place more than one girl...ever! Yet with you...she was my fourth..I just needed to see for myself where the disconnect was coming from…”

A low hum leaving his lips at that, appearing almost amused as he reclined in his seat  “And? Are you just here to waste more of my time or are you actually going to tell me what the issue is?” Flailing his hand in the air as if he’s already lost all patience for this conversation. The bite more than evident in his voice,clearly Hoseok’s a grade A smartass but again,in this situation you understood. So inteased of getting an attitude you took a deep breath..and answered the question nevertheless.

“Your charts the problem which is essentially my lifeline! I overheard part of the conversation with Ariel and your nothing like your stats, I'm assuming that’s probably your CEO persona... but not the person you are behind closed doors.  Which doesn't help me because my goal is to match you with someone who can handle the real you!” 

The low hum that fell from his lips almost had you hopeful, feeling as if he was starting to ease up a little and actually hear you out. You really where damn good at your job in this instance you were just fed bad information! “Hmm, I'm glad it took all of a month for us to realize this but yes, I agree with the fact that my “chart” as you like to call it was clearly total bullshit, and a waste of my time. You would have done better calling me instead of whatever generic Buzzfeed esque pick your match quiz you had us submit!” 

God he’s really, really, testing every negative ounce of patience running through your body, you could literally feel your jaw twitching “I wouldn’t say the questionnaire is the issue..more so the way it was filled out. It’s meant to be a tool to work in your favor, but you have to make it work” Pausing to lock your eyes with his, yet you knew what you were doing, you gaze was taunting, not angry, playfully challenging him at this point.  “I’m not here to argue, I'm here to sasifty…. so let me fix this.. I know your deal came with a specific deadline, If I’m not mistaken, we still have about a week left, that’s more than enough time for me to find you what you actually need!” 

An almost offensively loud groan left his lips at that, eyes rolling to the back of his head, the blatant disrespect had your nose scrunching into your face, brows furrowed “Excuse me? What do you mean “Mmmm”!?  I told you-” Now you were losing your patience..he’s officially pushed all of 2 of your buttons,and it took everything in you not to call him out of his name at this point! How dare he not take some accountability for the lack of effort he put into his personality chart even when you emphasize how important it is! Is he aware how much of YOUR times he;s wasted? The fact that you could’ve had these girls secured with other clients instead of also wasting there time!? No because all his spoiled ass can think about his himself! 

“Where the hell do you get off getting an attitude with me Y/N? None of this is my fault, I hired you because I didn't want to be involved,I have enough on my plate! We've been through damn near 20 pretty faces and-”

“Four! Hoseok, four!” The base suddenly hit your throat, you were starting to get defensive voice elevating ever so slightly “And again, did we not just establish that you, or your assistant or WHOEVER, screwed up your chart to begin with!? So how the hell-’

“Ohh so now we're playing the blame game? Reallll mature....Great save , oh I fucked up so let me blame my client, great customer service with that one!” The chuckle that left is throat was meant to sound taunting and it really fucking worked!

“It’s not the blame game, I’m just asking for a second chance to actually help you, you spoilt asshole! You just sat here and admitted you chart was total bullshit!” Abruptly rising from your chair, eyes narrowing in his direction, a second away from completely losing your shit  before you caught yourself! Yet, oddly enough so far he didn't even seem remotely fazed by your current disposition! 

“I have every right to be an asshole right now Y/N why the hell should I even trust you?! You knew going into this that ...we had a damn deadline and now we're damn near grazing it with the tip of our tongues…with zero results!” Now it was Hosoeks turn to loose his composure,voice dropping what felt like an entire octave suddenly rough and gritty the more he spoke. Which was actually really sexy but ...we’re going to try and ignore that for the time being! 

“What about that would make me want to even consider giving you another chance? Am I missing the part where you actually did what you were hired to do orrrr??”

“Oh for fucks sake, that's not my damn fault!” Yup, and there it goes again, all your self control ...Unintentionally stomping your foot against the floor as if you were almost having a temper tantrum.

“Awww, is baby whining now? Hmm? Is that your new tactic to try and get your way with me? ” Brow quirked in amusement, God you wanted to smack that smirk off his face. His tone was nothing short of condescending, though you found yourself more pissed at how good “Baby” sounds rolling off his tongue! Regardless of the context

“No I’m bitching which clearly you know a lot about since that’s all you've been doing since I got in here!!!” There was a sudden pause,a long one it was almost nauseating and it had you questioning if you'd finally crossed a line by saying that. You couldn't read the expression on his face right now, and that kinda scared you, so instead of just sitting in silence...

“ I place people based on the information I’m given, clearly we've never met so maybe if you actually put what you actually wanted we wouldn't have this damn issue to begin with! I gave you shallow and passive because that’s what you chart said you wanted.” Everything that radiated off your body was mounds calmer at this point, tone slightly tranquil “Your running out of time, and you need my help, I’m sorry we got off to a rocky start okay? Just... ...let.Me.Do.My.Job…”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to get you to do this entire time, do you think I want to sit here and play “ Are you smarter than a fifth grader” with these recruits? ! I didn't want to deal with this shit!I don't have time to deal with this shit!”  Throwing his solid gold pen across the desk, sliding back in his seat to hastily ruffle his fingers through his hair. To be honest it wasn’t Hoseok’s intentions to keep bantering back and forth like this, he was just stressed! He didn’t want to go this route to begin with so it’s not helping that it’s not flowing smoothly! 

“Great so it’s settled, you give me 48 hours and I'll find you perfect counterpart” Instantly turning around to head for your bag and see yourself out before the two of you were at each other's throats again. 

“No.”

Stopping dead in your tracks, whipping your neck around so fast it almost looked painful!

 “What do you mean no!?” Why, why won’t he just let this go!?

“N.O. You CAN help but in a different way….” Rising from his seat slowly pouring himself a glass of Scotch which he inhaled before it even fully settled at the bottom of the glass. 

Brow arched in annoyance and curiosity 

“Clearly when this is left in your hands I get malibu barbie with an I.Q of negative six...so let me pick….”

“I- fuck, whatever, fine, I’ll send you my roster and-” Fine sure, why not...if that kept him happy and had you signing a contract and hopefully reciving your bouns for landing him a susscessful recruit then sure! Pick all damn day Hoseok! 

“I don't’ need it…”

“What?! I thought you wanted to pick?” 

“  I don’t want your damn roster, if you care so much about redeeming yourself and actually doing what I paid you to do...then give me your best player…”

“That was my plan but you just said you didn't want me to pick.” Geunilly confused at this point, the slight attitude wasn’t even intentional. 

“You can, as long as we're on the same page..”

“Which is what Hoseok? What?” Mentally exhausted was an understatement, if your pride wasn’t in the way you’d just leave...

“You.” The word left his lips so calmly it almost went over your head! 

“If you want the deal then the Y.G.K. recruit I want is you...or theres no deal…I don’t have time for these rookies you keep sending my way”  You screamed everything his mother would hate and he fucking loved it, it also didin’t hurt that you were fun to look at. You had one hell of a backbone, your whitty, determined,sassy ...everything he would've put on his chart if he actually made it himself! You haven’t taken your foot off his throat since you’ve walked in, Hosoek was always one for a good challenge, makes the word “Daddy” sound even better when it rolls off your tongue! 

“What!? I’m not even up for hire, I’m a recruiter Hoseok, not a damn sugar baby! You can’t just snap your fingers and think I’m hired” Arms crossed tight against your chest, though...the idea was far more tempting than you let on  you’ve damn sure missed this. 

“No disrespect, but for you to be a recruiter..that probably means you’d have to have some prior experience right? “ Brow quirked at the implied question that he already knew the answer to “I don’t care how rich someone is...there not just buying Snakeskin Hermes bags for any “average” woman now are they?!”Tone blatantly challenging you as his head flicked over to your bag that set on the leather chaise diagonal from him.

“Trust me baby, it didn't go over my head the way you finessed your way in here like you owned the place , you know what you have working for you and your damn good at using it in your favor! I’m not here to judge, I finesse millions out of people all damn day...weather it be with my skill or my charm, either way, I'm closing deals and that’s all that matters!” I wonder if Hoseok could also tell how weak your knees were getting the more he called you “Baby”! More importantly how caught off guard you were for him calling you out on your shit!

“I’m retired…” Fell from your lips, it was all you could think of your mind was frazzled right now, but it was a true statement, you had not been on that side of the fence in almost 2 years! 

“Yeah and so was Jay Z and yet we got a good 4 albums and a tour after that so what’s your point!?” 

“My point-”

“Name your price.”

“Excuse-” 

“Your.Price.Y/N...Name.it...Tell daddy what you want” Smug, nothing but smug, Hoseok didn't even try to be discreet, he was living for his!

“$150K signing bonus off rip…” Thatta girl! Hosoek had you tripping over yourself for a moment, but the minute he said that he flipped a switch! 

You didin’t even know where that number came from..it was just like your body reacted on autopilot...he may be a total entitled smartass..but your not a damn fool. He’s right you got that bag because you are good at what you do, these sugardaddie’s aren't the only ones who know how to work there magic and get what they want. Your charm was deadly when need be, it takes a special kinda persona to finaness the “system” the way you do...or did I guess I should say! He wanted a price well...there ya go! 

The smirk that danced up his face was just as sexy as it was offensive “Right, so essentially what I just made on this deal I signed off on?” Cocking his head to the side slightly, tongue playing at the corner of his mouth “Done.” He was so nonchalant about this it was almost comical, you would have sworn you asked for a Big Mac or something! Tossing the contract aside as if it didn't mean shit, because it didn't you knew Hoseok's net worth! 

“I- you...what!? ” Did he really just agree that fast!? After you just yelled at him, and cussed him out!? 

Clearly he found your state of shock amusing a gritty chuckle rumbling in his chest as he poured himself another drink. “Don’t act surprised, you know you aren’t used to hearing the word no, which I can appreciate because neither am I!” 

“Why!? Why me, you don’t know shit about me, you could’ve easily had Ariel, or anybody else and none of them would have even cost you a fraction of that price!  Why are you so willing to pay me whatever the hell I want even after I failed to place someone else in the position?”Slowly sauntering over in his direction until you were so damn close to him your eyelashes could almost flutter against each other. “ And I dare you to tell me that your any different than any other man I've dealt with in you position. That your reasoning runs  ....deeper than you wanting to bend me over this damn desk” God, his lips were a problem, his damn jawline was a problem, why the hell did you get this close again!?

He didn’t respond right away, letting his eyes trace over every element on your face, and it took everything in you to pretend you knees weren’t caving in. Once his eyes landed on our lips, licking his in the process. Leaning forward, bracing his weight on the desk, hands resting on either side of you body as he hovered over you. Yet your stance never faltered he was challenging you ...AGAIN and There was no way in hell you’d show how consumed you were! Not when it was your decision to invade his personal space to begin with! The scent from his colgen filling your nose, having to physically remind yourself not to moan….. Hosoek knew exactly what he was doing, lips sitting slightly ajar, teasing you to arch up ever so slightly! You could damn near taste the liquor on his tongue...

“I’m a man, more importantly a man with damn good taste!  So yes, the idea of having you face down ass up sounds, sinfully appealing” Fuck your throat was dry as hell right now…”But no that’s not why I’m offering. Your not blind, clearly I dont need to pay for sex, I’m not some 60 year old man with a saggy ballsack so I’ll be frank with you! The contract has a deadline because so do I…” Now we're finally getting somewhere...

 “This was my families idea, hints all the confusion and my very short fuse, they want someone by my side as I embark on a new... Business venture. Clearly you can tell no one you’ve sent can even remotely stacks up to what I require in a partner, fake or not! I failed drama I don’t care how many cameras are in my face..I don’t act! Either I vibe with someone or I don’t..”

“We haven’t vibed Hoseok, we've argued! Since you think you can do my job better than I can...what's your rationale for pairing us together oh wise one!?” Nothing but sass dripped from your tongue at that...and he fucking loved it. The smirk that dance up hid lips said it all. A low hum fell from his lips as he leaned in, even closer, chest thumping so hard you questioned if he could even hear it. Fuck, you really wanted to grab him by the back of the neck and find out how good he tastes! 

“You tell me ...tell me what I need…” Something about his delivery had heat pooling between your thighs, voice getting dangerously low, and so where his eyes …”Since my charts fucked and your claiming that’s what screwed you up...tell me what I actually need…”

Clearing your throat slightly, trying to pull your shit together yet you didn't pull back from him, you didn't want to...you liked the intensity! If you were smart you’d disregard his question but, you felt like you needed to prove yourself….. 

“Someone to stimulate, and balance you out you mentally...” Purred from your lips earning a hum of approval, which , followed behind and confirmed every other bullet point …

“Someone well dressed..”

“Hmm…” - fuck he really needs to stop doing that

“ Cultured..”

“Mmmhmm..”

“Whitty..”

“Mmm, keep going…” 

“Quick on her toes, Sar-”  A dramatic sigh leaving your chest at that, eyes rolling to the back of your head more times than  you could count once you realized what he was doing. Hoseok was having you describe yourself, because ideally, you were the type of woman you’d try and set him up with.

The level of smugness that danced along his lips proved he was proud of himself “And you were sayinggg???” Purposely Letting the last syllable roll off his tongue sing song like.

You should've realized this the minute you met him…. Hoseok only needed a “Sugar Baby” for the contrational purouses, the fact that once signed it’s the person's job is to be whatever he needs! That  type of control would allow his family to insure she's adding to whatever “Aesthetic” he needs for this business venture..it was purely about control! That’s the disconnect, his family wanted the pretty faced puppet that they can morph into whoever they wanted. And clearly that's the last quality Hoseok wants in a partner, even a fake one! Now it makes more sense why a man like him..would have even signed up for something like this! 

“I’m sayingggg...EVEN if I considered, and if I did it wouldn't have shit to do with you and everything to do with the money...there would be no contract because I’d get fired! I’m a recruiter Hoseok, I can’t use the information I get to look out for myself, that's the definition of conflict of interest. Once you find a girl we make a contract.. We get a monthly percentage of what you pay per outside of gifts and little bounces..there's no way they wouldn't know and-”

“So we cut Y.G.K out...“In all honesty, you haven't placed a girl yet, I’ll have Jimin write a very nice email, so it doesn't make you look bad. Will just say I’m going to try looking for love on my own or some bullshit! They’ve already made there fee to add me to the roster ...” Letting his gaze pry into yours only to snatch you by the throat “Then, me and you make our own contract...I’ll pay you directly...problem solved…” Hoseok was starting to work his own angle and you hated the knots forming in the pit of your stomach as he changed his entire vocal presentation. It was smoother, husker..slightly breathy..everything it needed to be to get you to say yes, but again you weren’t a rookie, you were still somewhat thinking clearly!

“No, not problem solved..what happens if pictures get out!? I’ve done my research, it’s a part of my job your Korea's resident bad boy..the press love to hate your ass over there! Yeah,granted I go to events that you’d probaly frequent and network or  whatever the fuck you wanna call it! But what happens if someone gets a pic of us in Malta or something!?” 

The slight shrug in arrgrence really didn't help … “See! You don’t stay with one person which is why I’m sure you got sucked into this..the minute were seen together more than twice it’s news! How the hell do I rationalize that!?” There was a sudden growl in your voice and you weren;t sure where it came from, maybe because you were slightly annoyed that the hustler side in you really wanted to say yes. Fuck rational, fuck how this would probaly all blow up...you missed getting paid to look cute! Maybe it was also because you really wanted him to bend you over and fuck the shit out of you on top of this desk…

“Then, will take it as it comes, I know that’s why you asked for a signing bonus..incase that happens and work finds out, or once this contracts over and we go our separate ways...so your not on your ass..your smart!”  A slight smile tugging on your lips because he’s right $150K is about three years pay...at Y.G.K before taxes ...enough where if something happens at least you wouldn't be royally fucked!

There was a beat of silence eyes searching his for all the answers...

“I’ll give you until midnight...if you think there's a recruit in your roster that can actually keep up, I’m open to it. But if not we will be respectfully parting ways with Y.G.K. it’s solely business.  I've actually already paid 2 other companies I just haven't used their services because I was trying to hold out for you...but were getting a little too close for comfort !” Pulling back from you painfully slow and it took everything in you not to chase after those pouty lips of his! 

Instinctively you reached up pulling him back by his silk tie “What are you actually looking for Hoseok?” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t intrigued, especially with the low growl slipped past his lips at the sudden tension pulling along his neck. An amused smirk forming yours “Hmm..someone likes pain I seee….” Tone blatantly flirtatious you licked your lips

“Hmm..someone likes to tease I see...” Mimicking your tone to a tee, you were so stupidly turned on and this was all your fault! The sudden shift wasn’t as discreet as you hoped either “Don’t play if you can't handle it baby…just because I’m younger than probably anyone you’ve delt with...that stll doesn't take the “Daddy” part out of the equation”  Oh fuck you! As if you ever even questioned that for a nanosecond!

“Answer. The.Question Mr. Jung…” Bounce back game sill on point, regardless of how your panties currently felt! 

“You just said it... everything that’s NOT on my chart. I don't want some young bright eyed, bushy tailed girl who will cry everytime I take her to Chanel...or someone I have to order for at every damn restaurant. That's not for me...I dont have the want to desire for that. Like I said I don't have an issue getting laid this contract was never sexual for me it’s a…”Aestheic” if you will…” He was clearly being very selective about how much he told you about this job...which only had you gears turning, creating your own scenarios as we speak.

“I personally didn't want “This” to begin with but if I have to do it, even if it’s only for 6 months..I want it to be with someone I can actually tolerate. “ At least you could respect his honesty…he’s not desperate, nor is he begging, he’s just simply saying he doesn't have problem paying for quality! Especially if it’s going to make his life easier, either way he’s entering a contract that’s going to cost him money, why not pay top dollar for the premium package then?!

“Someone to look good on my arm at events, but also be able to hold her own if a mic gets pointed in her face, someone to stand next to me at board meetings. Attend gallas, charity events, company parties and just look like the, supportive partner that all the other men within my brigade have. And of course the fun part...because none of that shit’s fun, so whoever she is, she deserves to be spoiled.Wined and dined, shopping sprees, spontaneous trips to London, Pars, Spain,  I live multi coastal so that’s always fun! All the perks your use too only I’m not expecting you to fuck me...if it happens... it happens ...”

A low hum leaving your lips at that, gazing up at him through your full set of lashes...“If you keep looking at me like you already want me to bend you over this desk, were going to have some problems…” 

“You sure I actually even really want that?” Trickling your fingers up his chest “As you said, clearly I’m damn good at my job…” A subtle wink flutter in his direction earning a slow nod that essentially read “Touche” 

“True, but your eyes have been pacing between my jawline and my lips the entire time you've been in here…” Reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear and it took everything in you not to lean into the contact. “Now if you excuse me, I have a very tedious conference call to get ready for, get my personal email from Jimin on your way out. Send your picks to me directly and will go from there…”  Swiftly returning his gaze back to the stack of papers on his desk, it’s not even a full 20 seconds before his phone's ringing and Hoseok’s groaning!

“Mr. Zyang, how are you? How’s Linda?” Smiling from ear to ear as if the person on the other end could see him, charm on full blast! Shifting the bottom end of the phone away from his lips so he could whisper “I gotta go, get my number from Jimin, will talk tonight” His eyes were reading a little different right now, they were softer and you were turning into putty! 

A slight smile tugging on your lips as you swayed past him, you could feel his eyes burning straight through as you walked, grabbing your bag off the chaise. Not even giving him the satisfaction of looking back at him before you exited the room. You knew he was waiting for it too, just so damn sure you needed one last look at him, which honestly you did…

Feeling a little more than accomplished that you didn't cave like you thought you would, seeming to remind yourself that at the end of the day..this was solely business! A permanent smile engraved on your cheeks as you closed the door behind you.

“SOOOOOOOOOO!? You were in there long enough! What’s the game plan!?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS HAS BEEN SITTING FOR A WHILE! PART 2 IS HALFWAY DONE..IF THIS GETS ENOUGH LOVE ILL GET IT UP....IF YOU LIKED IT “LIKE IT” COME HIT UP THE ASK...

LOVE YOU GUYS AS ALWAYS,

ROCKI

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 31

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: i hope its not too bad. im scared ppl are gonna lose interest tbh. and i know, so many dialogues but it was needed!

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 31 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I woke up the next day a bit disoriented. I couldn't remember when exactly I fell asleep but as soon as my eyes opened, I felt my lips curl. Niall was laying next to me and we were both facing each other. He was still asleep and I brought my hand to his cheek, making him whimper very low. Slowly, I moved closer and pressed my lips on his gently, leaving a small and soft kiss on his mouth. His eyes fluttered half-open and when he saw me, his lips curled. It made my bite my bottom lip when I realized I hadn't seen him this happy in a while. Niall was someone who was always smiling but at this exact moment, it was even more than that. Or perhaps it was the reflection of my own happiness that I could see on his face.

He didn't say anything, he just moved closer to kiss my lips again, making them curl. I brought my hand over my mouth and smiled more.

"Hi."

He chuckled and also brought his hand in front of his mouth.

"Hi." he repeated. "Morning breath?"

"Would be bad if it was the first impression you had of me in the morning."

This time, he laughed and i felt my heart melt in my chest.

"I've smelled your morning breath and been a witness of more." he pointed out with what I guessed was a smirk from the way the corner of his eyes moved up. "Those little futile things won't change my love for you."

I could feel my heart flutter at the same time than my eyes when I heard his words.

"I woke up facing you like this so many times. I've wanted to kiss you so many times. This is the first time I actually do it. I never thought I would."

He stared at me and took his hand away. He was not smirking anymore, just smiling softly at me. I never thought Niall would ever look at me this way. I wouldn't have dared to wish for it.

"Fuck morning breath." he just said moving closer to me and getting half his body on top of mine before pushing my hand gently away and kissing me. It took me a few seconds to allow him to deepen the kiss but eventually I did. I closed my eyes, enjoying the way he kissed me and the warmth of his body over mine until he groaned in my mouth. "How did you sleep?"

I tried to think of an answer but all I could focus on was the way his lips ran down on my neck and how good they felt on my skin. I wanted to lock myself with him in his room for weeks like our own private and deserted island, leaving reality behind.

His phone started ringing and he groaned, his lips stopping on my collarbone. He simply sighed and I grimaced before he got up and searched for his phone through the pockets of the pants he wore the day before. It was not his type to leave dirty clothes on the floor but it seemed like both of us were distracting the other and I couldn't hide that I liked it.

"Hello?" he quickly answered without checking the caller ID... and with the way his face changed, I believed he shouldn't have had. "Oh hi."

I sat in bed and tilted my head, feeling suddenly a bit stressed, wondering who was on the phone but also annoyed, because whoever it was, they were clearly disturbing our alone time like some sort of ship running aground on the beach of my private island. I pushed on the covers and turned to face him, crossing ,my legs as I sat on the end of the bed.

"No, sorry, I'm busy tonight." Niall continued, turning to look at me before sending me a small smile. "I'm spending time with my girlfriend."

I held my breath and Niall stopped moving. After a few seconds, he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "No, I don't mean my friend who is a girl, I really mean the girl i'm officially dating. My girlfriend." Silence. "Okay, bye."

He hung up and sighed, throwing his phone on the bed and looking through his drawers for a clean pair of boxers that he just took out.

"Who was it?" I didn't want to seem invasive but the question was burning my lips.

"Oh." he just said with a shrug, glancing at me. "It was Heidi."

The simple mention of her name made my heart jump in my throat, making me slightly nauseous. I was not sure if it was because I was jealous or scared but all I knew was that Niall had sex with her a few times and that it was probably why she was calling. I wanted to ask him to delete her number or even block it but I knew I couldn't. I was trying not to be that kind of girlfriend, the type who gets insecure about every little thing that happens, and every girl her boyfriend talks to, but it wasn't easy. Niall and I were clearly not in the same league and although I knew love is not about physical appearances, I couldn't help but be nervous about all of this.

I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious but also mad at myself for letting someone like Heidi ruin my mood.

"I need a shower." he let out, taking me out of my thoughts. "Wanna come with?"

My mind suddenly went blank and my lips parted slightly as I stared at him. Did I want to see Niall naked and wet in the shower? Fuck yes. Did I want to stand in front of him in my birthday suit? Hell no.

"You reek too, by the way." he added with a smirk, taking his shirt off and throwing it in the laundry basket before turning back to me again and raising his eyebrows.

"Uhm."

I couldn't talk and I couldn't move. I could feel my heart beat all over my body, not really knowing what to answer. He knelt in front of me with a worried expression and placed his hands on my thighs. I could feel how warm they were, even through the fabric of his sweatpants that I was wearing, and it made me swallow hard. I was so scared to do or say something that would make me lose him that I could barely think straight. I had to do something about it before it ruined the relationship I had with him. As lovers, but also as best friends.

"Tempting, but no, i'll just go after you."

I tried to look normal and sent him a smile but he frowned a bit before nodding and getting up again. He bent down to kiss my lips and it sent a rush to my brain. I already regretted saying no but I knew i'd regret a 'yes" even more when i'd be naked in front of him.

I realized I was holding my breath when I sighed as soon as I heard the shower start and I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly ridiculous. Niall was now my boyfriend, and he said he loved me... he wouldn't change his mind because of what I look like naked, would he?

I sighed loud and lied back down in bed, grabbing my phone and crossing my ankles together. I couldn't help it and searched Niall's name on google only to find recent articles about him. There were pictures of us kissing at the bar and although it was from afar and not very clear, I felt extremely ugly. 'It's official! Niall Horan finally dating lifelong friend!'

My heart jumped in my chest when I realized the article started with 'After years of friendship, it is without a surprise that Niall Horan is finally seen kissing his childhood friend...' My eyes roamed on the sentence twice, three times... ten. 'Without a surprise'?

I scrolled down to the comments section and started nibbling on my bottom lip. I knew that whatever I would read would end uip hurting me but it was stronger than me. I was not the type to really care about what people thought of me but despite what anyone may tell you, reading mean things about yourself sucks and hurts.

'Can't believe she dated both Harry and Niall! Talk about a dream life! 😍'

'I have no idea how that ugly girl got one of them let alone both. 🤔 It makes no sense'

'They are so adorable!!!!!'

'He fucking deserves better have you seen her? 🤮'

'He lost a bet 😂😂😂'

'OTP OTP OTP 🥰'

I shut my eyes tight again and threw my phone on the bed before groaning low. All I could see behind my eyelids was a parade of emojis and I did the best I could to hold my tears in. I knew Niall was out of my league but some people could be so cruel when hiding behind a computer screen. The shower stopped and when Niall came back in the room, he was followed by a cloud of steam. I looked at him quickly from head to toes, enjoying the view as he walked up to me with only a towel around his waist.

"My turn!" I just said, jumping out of bed. He stopped me as I walked by and pulled me closer, making me chuckle low.

"You're all wet!" I complained jokingly, making him laugh.

"Then just take your clothes off."

His fingers reached for the top of my shirt and he pulled gently on the collar to move it down as his eyes dropped in. I felt my heart jump in my chest and shook my head, taking a step back and making him groan low.

"Pervert!" I added with a chuckle, walking to the bathroom.

I turned around and before closing the door, I stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh again but I still locked behind myself. I knew my fear and my hatred for my own body was stopping me from living some great things with Niall but I just didn't feel ready to show him all of me. I just wanted him to think I was beautiful. I wanted to turn him on, I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him.

I brushed my teeth first and quickly got undressed and started the waterI stayed a bit longer than I should have in the shower, letting the warm water fall on me and relaxing me as the memories of the night before played over and over in my mind. It was still incredible and unbelievable to me that Niall had finally realized he had feelings for me too but it was my reality now and It felt like I would never get down from my cloud.

I got out of the shower, drying my hair the best I could with a towel before wrapping it around my body and remembering that I left my clothes in the room. I raised my nose up and inhaled deeply before going back. I frowned when I saw him laying in bed in only a pair of boxers and my phone in hands. He looked at me and sighed, turning the phone my way to show me the article I had been reading while he was in the shower.

"I'm sorry I checked your phone it's just..." he sighed again and shook his head. "You shouldn't read shit like that. You know those mean comments aren't true, right?"

I held my towel to make sure it wouldn't fall and sent him a sad smile, walking to the bed. He sat on it and I shrugged as he looked up, wrapping his arms around me.

"Liv, please, listen to me." he let out in a low but worried tone. "I feel so lucky to be with you. You are beautiful and I love you." he paused but he kept staring at me. "Olivia, I love you."

"It's just..." I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling him hold me tighter against him. "I don't know."

"Talk to me, okay?"

I nibbled on my bottom lip and finally just nodded. He let go of me and lied back down in bed, leaving space for me. I lied down next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. I felt secure suddenly and the fact that we weren't looking at each other anymore made it slightly easier.

"You've never seen me naked." I just pointed out.

"That's... correct." he seemed a bit confused. "And i'd like to change that."

My lips curled in a fond smile.

"I mean, I don't know what you're expecting but you may be disappointed." I tried to explain, feeling his arm pull me closer. "I am not shaped like Maya or Heidi or those girls you normally end up with."

Silence. All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my chest. He started drawing shapes on the skin of my arm with his fingertip and It made a shiver cross my body as my heart skipped a beat. It reminded me of that time at the movies...

"I only had sex with Maya a few times." he confessed, making me frown.

"Like, how many times?"

"I don't know, four?"

I knew they had dated for a while and it was surprising that they hadn't had sex more often. Clearly, she wanted him and no one could not want her. I frowned more, a bit confused by it but also wondering why exactly he was telling me that.

"Why?"

My question was not clear but I knew he'd understand.

"I couldn't." he explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I couldn't because I only wanted you."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. It was laughable to think someone had the chance to bang a girl like Maya but couldn't because they wanted me more.

"I guess my love for you made it impossible for me to lust after an other girl." he continued. "I don't know what you're scared of but I know I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone else. And I won't be disappointed because it'll be you. And that's all I want. You."

I let my eyes roam on his body and I couldn't deny that I wanted him, too. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. Obviously, this relationship was based on more than sex but it seemed to be an issue and I understood that he wanted to solve it. I also wanted to share everything with him. We had never really talked about sex together, at least not about our personal sex life. It's not that it embarrassed me but I didn't want to hear about the girls he had sex with and what he did with them. it would have been too hard to hear because of my love for him and for that reason, I also kept my stories a secret to make sure he wouldn't tell me his. It was a precaution I took to avoid my heart being too broken and so far, it had worked.

"Remember when we were in my room and you were about to check in a drawer and I told you not to?" I started in a low voice, raising my eyebrows without looking at him. "It was not because of my underwear.. It's just that... it's the place I keep my vibrators."

His fingers stopped moving on my shoulder and I held my breath, a small smile playing on my lips. I hadn't expected to admit that to him and obviously, he hadn't expected to hear it either.

"Plural?"

"Yes."

We remained in silence for a while and he finally chuckled.

"That's so hot." he admitted, laughing a bit. "There's so many things I don't know about you when it comes to sex, Liv, and I'd love to talk about it with you."

My traits softened and I looked up at him, moving slightly to get my head on the pillow, my face turned his way. Talking about my body embarrassed me but talking about sex in general didn't and I was totally fine with that discussion.

"Okay, I go first!" I let out with a smirk. "Who's your favorite pornstar? And if you say Jenna Jameson I'm gonna be very disappointed in you."

He sent me an insulted frown, his lips slightly parted, and it made me laugh.

"Do you know me at all?" he just asked, making me laugh. "I don't think I have a favorite, but I guess I enjoy Shyla Jennings."

I raised my nose up and groaned a bit, still looking at him.

"I can't say I'm surprised, and I also can't blame you."

"Why not surprised?" he asked, raising his eyebrows curiously.

"She's your type." I laughed, moving my chin up to look at him better.

"Oh I have a type now?" he wondered as I nodded. "Alright then, who's your fave pornstar?"

My face changed and I shrugged with a small smile.

"Gina Valentina, no second thoughts."

I saw a bunch of emotions cross his face and it made me laugh as he shook his head.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, you wanted a man?" I asked, amused by the conversation, as I sent him a smirk. "Tyler Nixon, then."

His eyes roamed on my face and I tried to guess what he was thinking about. He was discovering things about me that I never thought he'd know but I was totally fine with it: I had nothing to hide. His lips curled into a small but fond smile and I licked my lips, my eyes never leaving his. I felt his hand take mine and he placed his palm against mine before intertwining out fingers together.

"Tell me something that you did that I would never guess."

His voice was low and the atmosphere in the room had shifted completely. We looked at each other for a few seconds and I licked my lips. He brought his hand on my waist, now completely facing me, and my heart jumped in my chest at how good he looked.

"One time I had a threesome with two other girls."

His eyes opened slightly more and his eyebrows raised up, making me laugh. He held me tighter, his fingers sinking in the fabric of the towel I still had around me, and I knew he had many questions to ask.

"You did too, didn't you?" I kept talking, raising my eyebrows too as my eyes roamed on his face.

"Maybe." he sent me a smirk. "I mean, one time when I was very drunk... it happened. But the whole thing is a bit blurry."

I don't know why but it was a relief that he didn't remember it clearly and I licked my lips. It was ridiculous of me but I couldn't help it. I knew it was impossible but I wanted to be the only girl he'd lust... the one who would make him cum the hardest, the one he could never forget.

"Was it someone you were dating?"

"I was... seeing one of them." he admitted with a groan. "And it sort of killed whatever relationship we could have had."

I nodded slowly. "It was the same for me. We broke up only a few days later."

"When was that?" he asked with a frown, probably trying to remember something he wasn't even there for.

"During your third tour."

It made me realize how little I talked about myself when it came to relationship and how little I knew about him, too. I had met all his official girlfriend, although the number could be counted on the fingers of one hand (and not the whole hand), but I wasn't aware of all the 'maybe's' and 'almost's'.

"Are you scared of what could happen after we make love?" he finally asked after a long silence. "Or what I will think? Say?"

I sighed low and looked away. Every time the discussion switched back to my insecurities, I couldn't seem to look at him in the eyes. I knew he'd be able to read me and it scared me, but I also knew that at some point, i'd have to open up to him, or I would lose him.

I shook my head slightly, looking at our intertwined fingers and It suddenly hit me. If someone was going to be there no matter what, it would be Niall, the way he's always been there.

"I hate my body, I hate the way I look naked, and there's no way you will like it. These people online, your fans, or whatever, they're all right."

The words came out of my mouth and I didn't even think. Everything I said I meant so deep that it hurt. All of this I had thought and believed for so long that expressing them out loud gave me a shiver.

"You're beautiful." he just said in a whisper.

I looked up in his eyes and I could see that he was hurt. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as he let go of my hand to slide it back on the towel around me. He kept staring at me as his hand pulled gently on the fabric and an other shiver ran all over my body, not only because of the cold air hitting suddenly my damp skin but also because of the thought of being naked in front of him. He pushed the towel on the floor and I held my breath, biting my bottom lip and sucking my stomach in. I didn't know why I cared so much, I had no idea why I was so scared after everything he showed and said, but I couldn't help it.

His fingertips ran on my waist and to my hip, ending softly on my thigh and I swallowed hard as he sent me a small smile. Slowly, he moved over me, pushing me on my back, and I moved my chin up to keep eye contact with him. I loved the feeling of his over me, like the weight on my whole body was some sort of protection against everything else, even my own complexes. He bent closer and brushed his lips against mine so gently that I felt my heart twist in my chest.

"You're beautiful and I love you." he whispered, making my lips part lightly.

I couldn't move, I was paralyzed, but I forced myself to keep my eyes open when his lips brushed on my jaw and down my neck. They traveled to my breasts and when I felt his warm tongue on one of them, I whimpered, my body jerking very slightly at the feeling.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, that I had never been in love with anyone else and that I never would, but the words got stuck in my throat. His mouth moved to my other nipple and I tried to push away all the questions running in my mind without much success. What did he think? Was he disappointed? Was he still lusting me? Loving me?" Or did he just feel bad for me?

His hand reached for my stomach only a few seconds before his lips and he finally looked up at me, shaking his head from left to right and pressing his fingers gently on my skin.

"Don't do that." he asked in a breath.

It took me a few seconds but I finally exhaled and relaxed my body. His lips curled in a small but find smile and he mouthed a 'thank you', making me swallow hard. I didn't know if he realized the strength it took me and what it implied for me exactly, but he seemed to be grateful and that was enough for now.

Very slowly and softly, he pressed his lips on every inch of my skin as my heart seemed to flutter. I felt dizzy suddenly by the way he showed me love but I still couldn't move. I just focused on his mouth brushing everywhere it could and leaving a burning sensation on my skin. Nothing had ever felt like that before.

His hands glided on my thighs until my knees and he spread them slowly. His lips stopped on my lower stomach and the sight of him between my legs was incredible and way more exciting than anything I had imagined before.

"Is this okay?"

I stared at him a few seconds that seemed to last an hour and he waited, his eyes never leaving mine. I licked my bottom lip but nodded slowly but he kept looking at me as he brought his lips down. I held my breath when his lips left a kiss on my slit and I gripped the sheets with one of my hands.

I was completely naked, the curtains were open and I was with Niall. It was everything I had wished for yet it was also my biggest fear. I tried not to think about it when his fingers ran between my legs and his tongue pressed on my clit, making my body jerk again. It slid down and entered me and my eyes fluttered close as I restrained a curse word from escaping my lips.

"Oh my god." I breathed out, forcing myself to open my eyes if only to look at my boyfriend and burn the image of him eating me out on my retina forever.

His tongue and lips worked between my legs, making them twitch as I got closer and closer to an orgasm but it's only when he started sucking on my clit that my back arched and my eyes finally shut tight.

"F-" I stopped myself and started shaking but he held me down on the mattress with one of his arms as an orgasm crossed my whole body.

I couldn't stop squirming as the intense feeling invaded me from head to toes and it's only when it was gone that I whimpered, feeling both embarrassed and happy at the same time. I felt him crawl up my body and when I finally opened my eyes, he was hovering over me, holding himself with his elbows and smiling down fondly at me.

I felt my heart melt at the way he was looking at me and I smiled back, feeling my heartbeats accelerate. Out of fear, and out of love. I just didn't expect his next words but it brought me near tears.

"I didn't think it was possible, but I love you even more."

[ssironstrange]

hey so i have a fun story to tell yall about last night and tripping absolute balls on nothing more than some highly concentrated thc. are you ready??

so it’s another game night like any other. lots of people, lots of drinking, playing board games and VR games and card games and being dumb and nerdy together.

the night is winding down and half the people have left. i’ve just started to sober up from drinking. my s/o and i are just shooting the shit with our friends and they mention this liquid marijuana shit and i’m like ???? they can DO THAT? like bruh i’m so behind on the things you can do with weed now it’s fucking insane. anyway.

so they bring out this bottle, it smells like some GOOD DANK SHIT like damn i could get high on just smelling that and they’re like “yeah and it’s SO STRONG like just a sip will do it for you” so of COURSE i had to ask if i could. (it’s 200mg concentrated thc btw.)

and guys. g u y s. i’m telling you i barely even let a fucking drop touch my tongue. i just wanted the tiniest sample of how it tasted - which was initially yummy with a horrendous aftertaste. my s/o, who is like damn near immune to thc apparently, takes a goddamn SWIG of it jesus fuck.

so. just sitting there talking some more and i start to feel the high come on. it’s nice and gradual and smooth, moreso than most other highs i’ve had. and mind you, i’ve probably only been high like..... maybe 20-30 times?? ever??? i don’t get to indulge much. but then the high just keeps getting higher. it’s now like an hour and a half since i’ve taken this pathetic drop and the high is still getting more intense. my s/o still isn’t feeling anything. we decide to head home before i get sick because i almost always get sick when i get Very High.

but it’s still. getting. stronger.

i’m now at the point of “this is worse/higher than i was coming out of wisdom tooth surgery”

i feel like we’re at goddamn warp speed in a star trek ship as he’s driving down the highway and i canNOT fucking deal with it oh my god it was so intense. my s/o is cracking the fuck up bc i’m just like. SO high and i can’t get over all the fucking lights whizzing by. then i start laughing because he’s laughing and this is where it all fell apart.

because i couldn’t STOP laughing, which made me start crying, which made me laugh harder, which made me start SOBBING and i am now hysterically laughsobbing like that fucking emoji meme

yeah tHAT ONE my s/o described it as “tears shooting out of my eyes”

and it’s getting to the point my s/o is now like “you need to pull up some fucking kitten pictures bc if we get pulled over you need a reason to be crying like this” and then i DO and the kittens are SO CUTE AND I’M CRYING EVEN HARDER AND LAUGHING EVEN HARDER OH GOD HELP ME

so we fucking manage to get home and not even like 5 minutes later it hits my s/o so HEY we got lucky there.

brushing my teeth is the hardest thing i’ve ever done.

i then lay down and jesusfuckingchRIST everything is MOVING!!! THE DARK IS TOO MUCH I CANNOT HANDLE IT so i turn on a light and i’m fucking hyperventilating bc theres goddamn camoflauged snakes floating around the room like my walls???/ are slithering?????? i’m also SO COLD and can’t stop shivering and the cats all need my attention and its too MUCH so i fucked off out of bed and like ran for the bathroom and jumped in the shower with it as hot as i could handle it.

and for the next hour and a half i just. stood there. under the water. slowly spinning in a circle so none of me would be cold. until there was no hot water left. there were no slithering walls in the shower. it was warm and safe.

i get out and go sit in the living room. then i have heartburn like mad so i took some meds for that but then i was like HEY i haven’t eaten in like 20 hours maybe i should!! so i just like lumbered into the kitchen, naked, and grab 2 slices of bread and just slowly eat those, savoring each bite even though it’s just bread but everything is so fucking difficult guys yall don’t even KNOW.

it’s now like 6am. i’m so TIRED. i just want to SLEEP but laying down is Very Bad so i was like “maybe i’ll just fuck around on tumblr” and go to turn my computer screen on and OH MY GOD ITS SO BRIGHT IM LOOKING DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN.

so that didn’t work out. fucked around on my phone instead. i’m pretty sure i spent about 15 minutes trying to catch a stupid fucking bulbasaur on pokemon go just cause i couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

finally, FINALLY i’m able to go lay down a little. like propped up on my pillow. my walls are not slithering with snakes that have taken on chameleon camoflauging. i keep checking on my s/o because normally he makes a lot of noise in his sleep and he was SILENT and i was so afraid he was just gonna die after taking as much as he did. i mean, there was a point i was like “fuck am i gonna have to call 911 because i’m too high?” but he was fine.

so i sleep. very hard.

i wake up like 7ish hours later and i am still high.

my s/o wakes up and immediately he’s like “holy FUCK that was a trip??? i was in cartoonland all night. are we sure that wasn’t straight snake venom??”

and it didn’t wear off me until like idk 3 hours ago or so and my s/o only about an hour ago.

so anyway yeah. i learned the hard way that you can, in fact, trip balls on thc alone and i officially never want to be that high ever again in my life wow. i mean i’m cackling just remembering it but yall it was TOO INTENSE.

[lokibannerpool]

Update on the Mun

so i have been lurking on here for a while, not really doing any drafts or replies. I’m not abandoning this blog and these muses, I just haven’t had the motivation lately to be active on this account. I have been active on my other blogs for the most part. you can find me on @forcedintoperfection @thevirginandthefool @worldsfastestpredator @strongestcullen  @zorii-unknown and/or @brokenprincessofasgard  

Now for the shitstorm that is my life right now.

If you’re basically homeless and you know it clap your hands  *clap clap*

So we (by we I mean my mom, little brother and I) finally got evicted for reals like around Feburary-ish. My mom’s bright idea for temporary living was to move in with the worst person possible, her crazy ass aunt (on my grandpa’s side). 

Not only was the move stressful, but living here is terrible, and most of that is because my mother’s aunt (i have disowned her so no she’s not my great aunt) is doing everything in her power to make us feel unwelcome. Before I go into details, let me point out that my brother refused to come stay here because he has never felt welcome in this house, so he’s staying with family from our grandmother’s side (still crazy, but slightly more reasonable). And although I technically still have a room there, I did not stay because they hate animals and the great aunt that lives there once told me that if she could make it up the stairs to our old apartment she’d kill my cats. Later she denied it, but yeah... that’s the kind of crazy on that side’ of the family.

I was going to take my cats and live in a hotel from paycheck to paycheck. i had done the math and i could afford 7 days from one paycheck if i literally didn’t buy anything else, and the hotel had free breakfast i didn’t have to worry about food at least if i could save some of the breakfast for lunch then probably do dinner at a family member’s house. (yeah not the best plan but for me if I’m giving up my cats to a shelter I’m giving up on life. plus hotel accepted animals and was legit cheaper than a putting them in a pet hotel which would have been 22 a night per cat... i have 5 cats and a part time job) BUT low and behold my mother pulls some strings with the aunt (only after catching me crying on eviction day because I didn’t know what to do with my babies) and suddenly I can keep the cats as long as they stay in the basement. Not ideal, but more affordable for me so I take it.

Now back to the hell house I’m trapped in.

1) It took a while to move everything in, but I think we were almost full settled in by a Friday or Saturday night. On the Monday (which was like day 3 of living there) my mother’s aunt not only called me repeatedly on my phone, she kept yelling my name from the first floor. When I finally become conscious enough to go see what she wants, she is telling me that I sleep too much, It’s ridiculous how much I sleep, I need to go get a job, I’m not going to sleep my life away in HER house, yada yada, then she goes on about how by my age she was living on her own and paying off her own car (both were confirmed to be lies by sources that were alive at that time. crazy bitch was still sleeping in the bed with her mother at 22).. Now maybe you think that’s not so bad? but I forgot to mention one little detail. 

It was only 8:10 AM  and I had class at 10 am.

My alarm clock was literally set to go off 20 minutes from that time. Not only was it early as fuck, but I had a class to go to so it wasn’t like i was going to be staying in the house all day. SHE KNEW I HAD CLASS, THAT WAS WHAT PISSED ME OFF THE MOST. I had literally been discussing my classes with her for weeks prior to even moving in with her. Another thing that interested me was how she conveniently waited until my mother had left to start harassing me. anyway, so i get dressed because im mad as hell by this point, and i get ready to leave in under 15 minutes so we’re around 8:30am by this point. When I get downstairs she is demanding that I come into her room, and against my better judgement I do but I’m in no mood to talk. She takes one look at my face and asks me “why are you pissed off?”  As if she didn’t know why. I don’t want to curse her out because I wasn’t raised to do things like that so i keep my mouth shut. She keeps trying to get me to talk, and at this point angry tears that I have been trying so hard to hold back are falling and she tells me I’m being dramatic and I’m over reacting. I tell her I have to go to class more than once and she’s still demanding that I sit and talk with her, so I just walk out.    She calls my phone more than once but I don’t answer because I am a) driving and b) still mad as hell. she leaves voicemails. 1 saying that im being overreacting and stuff. the second comes a few hours later with a fake apology after she apparently talked to my mother. I later find out that she lied to my mom and told her that she forgot I had school, yet when I was not trying to talk to her she was telling me i had 2 hours before i had to be in class.. so yeah and that was only the start of day 3 of living there.

2) Fast forward a few days because in this family, we apparently just go on like nothing happened after conflicts like this. My mom comes to me in the morning and warns me that the aunt had threatened to call the human society to take my cats away because I ‘don’t spend enough time with them’. Which pissed off my mom as much as me because she’s seen what I’ve done for these cats in the past 2 years. (especially with Brenda, who is a rescue stray I took in after she was covered in tape by strangers and either dropped at our door or she limped her way up the stairs to us for help, and the two litters of kittens she had in our apartment) 

The aunt confronts me about this after I come down to feed them by asking me “do you really want the cats” and then telling me not to get an attitude when I say “of course I do” rather defensively. She tells me the b.s. she told my mom to which i point out that we literally just got here, i have classes 5 days a week and work 7 days a week. Plus, she’s usually sleep when I come in after work so she doesn’t see me dragging my aching body (still sore from doing the brunt of the moving) down to the basement to replace the food and water and spend time with them before I go to bed and I would literally be sleeping down there if it wasn’t for my mom nagging me about my health (which tbh comes second to the cats in my opinion but she disagrees). She doesn’t seem all that convinced, and my anxiety was through the roof for the longest because i wasn’t sure if i was going to come back to a cat-less basement after work. 

My therapist has been having an earful btw. Literally the week before I knew we were being evicted I spent most of a session trying to find something to talk to her about and now I have at least one new problem ever week. 

3) This woman has no respect for me or my mother. She’s verbally attacked my mother and berated her more than once. (today included) and at one point accused my mom of using her father for money(who died only 2 years prior, and who is the only one who took responsibility for making all the funeral arrangements and is still struggling to pay that bill because no one else wanted to help). This is sidetracking a little, but my mom did a lot for my grandfather. Brought his medical supplies with a loan she had taken out from her job, literally came to wash him up multiple times because his in house nurse wasn’t doing it, and pretty much ran every errand he asked for her and if she couldn’t do it she had me do it for her... so yeah to say she was using him was really fucked up and it really hurt my mom.

3.5) One morning (last week) i literally caught her and her ‘tenant’ (aka her brother’s ex girlfriend who he left for his wife 2 years ago and refuses to leave his family’s home) talking shit about me and my mom. How we’re dirty,  my mom walks too loud, complaining about us having mini conversations late at night (which only happened once), calling my mom fat, and saying that she’s not  ‘dainty’ and ‘feminine’ enough and they don’t know how she kept a man for so long... really just talking trash while im standing at the top of the stairs listening. I wait until they finish to say anything and they’re not even ashamed or apologetic. The aunt literally says “good. now you can tell your mom what i said” after  i said i heard just about all of it. She seemed offended when I refused to be her messenger. She then tried to talk shit about my mom to me, going as far to tell me that my mother a ‘fat slob’. And because I don’t want to be kicked out before we find a place, I have to bite my tongue and just walk away while she purposely baits me and tells me to ‘speak my mind’. 

There is so much more I could write about, like how she (a woman who has never had a cat in her life) is always telling me how to take care of my cats like I don’t know what I’m doing, yet she’s basing this all off the dog she had (but didn’t really want or take care of) over 10 years ago.  Or how she likes to try to provoke me or my mom (but mostly me because I’m the easier target I guess) whenever she’s bored. The fact that she forced cable boxes on us, then demanded my mom pay her $400 for the installation of the cable despite us both making it very clear we didn’t want it. How she’s always trying to say someone is trying to use her as if my mom isn’t paying $800 a month for two little ass rooms and a bathroom/kitchen we have to share with two other people And sooo much more. 

I’ve ended up self harming for the first time in about two-ish years while staying here. My suicidal thoughts are  happening very often and honestly I’ve turned to drinking my feelings away when I’m not cutting them away. I’ve literally been so stressed that my period disappeared for like 3 months (no im not pregnant. gotta be sexually active to get pregnant so yes its stress) and I’m pretty sure I’m developing some sort of repressed anger issues that I should probably mention to my therapist but I keep forgetting. 

So that’s pretty much what’s been going on in my life lately. 

And I don’t know how to end this so... there

[sun-daisies]

so after having covid and being like... pretty sick, like I think potentially concerningly sick, I was finally released back into the wild yesterday and went back to actual work today (I had been editing and marketing and such for my business throughout my quarantine, but today was my first day back to on the clock physical work)

so here's how it went down

the coffeeshop isn't open mon-wed but my boss wanted me to come in and brew/keg some cold brew and do a bit of a deep clean to get things in order while he delivered 8 kegs of cold brew to one of his clients. mopping the floor left me winded.

I worked about 5 hours at the coffeeshop, had a few hours in between, then waitressed for another 5 hours. I can now vouch for the fact that you probably should not jump straight into work after having covid. I started my day feeling like i was operating at about 90% - still a little congested and tired, but overall pretty much good to go - and ended my day at around 60%. I am dead on my feet. I could pass out. even the bartender was like "you sure you're good? you seem pretty out of it."

my first table was this sweet girl in her 20s or something, like maybe a little older than me. this went south real quick when all her friends came in. they were SO damn rude to me, like the audacity of this group of 20-somethings was disgusting. they also drank an entire brand new bottle of patron silver, were upset that we didn't have some other tequila I hadn't even heard of, then begrudgingly switched to cuervo gold for the remainder of the night. anyway they only tipped me 15% on their $260 tab (which was all alcohol and like two orders of mozzarella sticks, btw) but to be fair I got sick of their shit real quick and started kind of avoiding their table and giving them attitude right back so that was a fair tip at that point I guess

some woman from the bar went out of her way to come over to me while I was rolling silverware to tell me this story about her grandparents in the 50s. apparently they met in the restaurant back when it was called "the bloody bucket" or something like that? idfk

some nice guy with a southern accent came in by himself and we had the following exchange while he was trying to figure out what he wanted to drink:

him, scanning the drink menu: "so sorry, I have no idea what I want. uhh... what's local?" me, not knowing shit about beer: "that is the question of the hour isn't it?... sorry dude I wish I could help but I have no idea." him, a little bewildered: "I- you work in a bar." me, fucking tired: "yea, can you believe I've been here for three years and still can't tell you which beers are made five miles from here and which ones are made five thousand miles away?" him, thinking this is funny and endearing thank god: "this one's gotta be local, I'll try this one." I run back and grab his beer and bring it out to him. he goes: "that was fast!" me, just trying to do my job: "haha yeah, well" him: "hey, what you lack in beer knowledge you make up for in speed. what's good on the menu here? what do you recommend" me, biting my tongue because if it's on the menu it's clearly good: "honestly you can't go wrong with any of the menu but if you want my personal opinion our pizza is the best in the world." (I don't eat dairy, but our pizza is one of the top sellers) him, laughing at me again: "the best in the world? that's a ballsy claim" me, just wanting him to order so I can take a time out in the walk in at this point: "I'm not even saying that out of hubris, like if pizza's not your thing you really can't go wrong with anything on the menu, it's all good, but our pizza is the best." spoiler alert he ordered pizza and LOVED it

anyway he thought I was hysterical and tipped me well, he was a cool guy and this particular dive bar banter was the kind that's actually really fun for me im just a lil crabby today and VERY overtired

and today kids the lesson is: if you're the kind of sick where the cdc recommends seeking medical attention - and you don't - then maybe don't expect to be operating at 100% when you're feeling better and able to do stuff again.

[sanny-chan5]

Getting to know me :D

1. What is you middle name? I don’t have one. I think this question is thought for American people, because almost all of them have one, right? 2. How old are you? 23. 3. When is your birthday? March 2. 4. What is your zodiac sign? Piscis <3 5. What is your favorite color? Sweet, light pink 💗 6. What’s your lucky number? 13, surprisingly, but not my fav one. 7. Do you have any pets? No. 8. Where are you from? Spain. 9. How tall are you? 1’56-7 m. 10. What shoe size are you? Ummm, it depends on the shoes, but 37-8 normally. 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? About 10 or so. 12. What was your last dream about? Me peacefully talking with a kid while he draws in class. 13. What talents do you have? I think I can read people’s feelings and reflect about human’s condition pretty well. I can also draw in manga style (not a pro, though, but I love it). 14. Are you psychic in any way? Yes LOL. 15. Favorite song? “Stay the Same”, by Mai-K <3 16. Favorite movie? This one is difficult af, I don’t think I have one yet. 17. Who would be your ideal partner? WOW. Like… idk??? Someone really dreamy and encouraging. Empathetic, I don’t ask for him to understand me, but VALIDATING me/my values/ideals is a must. 18. Do you want children? Yes :) 19. Do you want a church wedding? No… I prefer a “castle” wedding. I’m very romantic in that aspect and, well, dreaming is free :’) 20. Are you religious? Not really… but I’m very spiritual/intrinsec and I respect everyone’s religious believings as long as they’re not dangerous for someone else. 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Not like hospitalized, but I have been there. 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Never, not really planning to. 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? If a voice actor of my country ora n idol counts, yes :’) 24. Baths or showers? Baths, so relaxing <3 25. What color socks are you wearing? A brownish-pink colour J 26. Have you ever been famous? No, not that I’m planning to. 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? NO. 28. What type of music do you like? Many different kinds, but pop and j-pop anime songs are my favourite and what I listen to daily. 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Umm, nope. 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? A big one <3 (so comfy >-<) 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Either cudlle up like a burrito roll or spread up lol. 32. How big is your house? Not so much. We had a BIG chalet before but lost it because of the crisis. Now my family and I live in an ordinary, cutely little, flat <3. 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cola-cao with cereals/toasts with butter and jam. Ñaaam 😋 34. Have you ever fired a gun? NO. Again, not that I want to… 35. Have you ever tried archery? No, but I’d like to try it al least once. I’d probably suck at it though 😂 36. Favorite clean word? Mm… don’t know D: Probably a cute japanese one ‘cause otaku life (2 dedos). 37. Favorite swear word? Whoa, I don’t think I should answer this xD 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? A whole night, and I don’t recomend anyone, honestly. 39. Do you have any scars? A tiiiiny one on my knee, but nothing serious as to name it “scar”, I guess (children’s playful life c:) 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Uumm… I don’t know, maybe? I had a guy who told me he had been trying to find me for 6 years after I moved the first time, but hat only got me scared, so… xD 41. Are you a good liar? NO. OMG no x’DD But I treasure that about me, you freaking dirty society :c 42. Are you a good judge of character? YES. Usually I am. 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I suppose, but I don’t know if I imitate them well or not though ^^’ Sorry for that u.u 44. Do you have a strong accent? No. Not that I think. 45. What is your favorite accent? Uffff. In my country there are so many accents I like. The Andalusian one, the one of Extremadura… xD don’t know if those count. 46. What is your personality type? Type, like, in MBTI? INFP 💙🧡💚💗💖 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Umm, I don’t remember… 48. Can you curl your tongue? I think I can’t xD 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie xD I don’t get why, but I feel awkward about this x’DD 50. Left or right handed? Right-handed. 51. Are you scared of spiders? YES. Any insect really. 52. Favorite food? Don’t have ONE, but my favourite ones are “mixed” food (sorry, I don’t know how to name them, but I refer to foods made with a great amount of ingredients: paella, Spain stew, Russian salad, rice with lobster or Chinish fried rice) I’m seriously getting hungry now x). 53. Favorite foreign food? CHINESE FRIED RICE (“Arroz 3 delicias” in spanich, if you know what I mean :’)) 54. Are you a clean or messy person? Cleanly messy?. I can find anything in my own mess and I feel good about it. Though I can’t stand other people’s mess, I guess I just feel control over my mess (?). 55. Most used phrased? I don’t know really D’: “How can this be so cute?!!”? 56. Most used word? Kawaii. I love all fluffy, cute characters, persons, animals, objects, moments or whatever thing it is. Sorry, not sorry. 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 30-40 min. normally. 58. Do you have much of an ego? Not an arrogant ego, but I totally respect everyone’s honour because I hate feeling humiliated. And I have a say in that… 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck them then bite them? 60. Do you talk to yourself? YES. Sorry not sorry. It helps organazing your mind. 61. Do you sing to yourself? ALSO YES. I sing every single of the day, practically xD I’m usually at home, listening to music in my PC.

62. Are you a good singer? As I said, I enjoy it, but I don’t sing well, so I’m not doing this publicly if it’s not with people I trust, and even then...

63. Biggest Fear? To die alone not prepared for it as I realice I didn’t live my way. And to be constantly critized by society. Why can’t I live my life freely?! 64. Are you a gossip? I hate it but like the 80% of my whole family is. So many times it’s very difficult not to be. I hate criticisms and don’t feel well recieving so I don’t want to be like this. I’m working about it now :c 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Mmm… don’t remember L 66. Do you like long or short hair? Both. I have it shoulder-leight right now :D 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? No xD Not good with geography… if it’s Japan, then… 😝 68. Favorite school subject? Music/art. I enjoyed Language too. But my favourite ever was PHILSOPHY. 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert. INFP, remember? ^^ 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, but I’d love it too! :D I’m afraid of sharks, though, not sure if that’s actually a problem… (think) 71. What makes you nervous? SO. MANY. THINGS. I’m a little too much shy, so formalities/awkward social situations are the worst… terror and scary things, not feeling confident… normal things, I guess. It’s pretty easy to make me jump out of fright LOL 72. Are you scared of the dark? Only if I’m alone and not feeling well. 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Yes… sorry about that :c I like being corrected if I need to, though, so feel free to tell me so that I can improve myself J 74. Are you ticklish? OMG. I don’t want to answer this xD Yes, but it’s embarrasing. Shhh… >-< 75. Have you ever started a rumor? No. I’ve never thought about it, but they usually turn bad/worse, o… I don’t feel like hurting someone else’s feelings just ‘cause I can, thank you very much. 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes, as a Preschool Teacher on practics, only J Though I’m not good with authority stuff xD 77. Have you ever drank underage? NO. Still don’t, and I don’t plan to, at least for the moment. 78. Have you ever done drugs? NO. Same as before. 79. Who was your first real crush? A high-school classmate. I’ve not fallen in love since then, btw. 80. How many piercings do you have? None. 81. Can you roll your Rs? Yes, I’m Spanish, so I’ll think of this as if I’m good with other languages’ diction. Yes, I am  x) 82. How fast can you type? I guess fast enough? 83. How fast can you run? Not much, I guess. Never good with P.E. :’) 84. What color is your hair? Brown. 85. What color is your eyes? Greenish brown (?) 86. What are you allergic to? I don’t know, I never did the allergy tests because our Sanity is so good  they never gave me an appointment ot it even if my family asked for it :’) 87. Do you keep a journal? No, but I’d like to. 88. What do your parents do? Jobs? My father’s tiler (?) and my mother “works at home” (I don’t like the “housewife” term). 89. Do you like your age? I… guess? I have had quite a number of existencial crsis already, but I want to enjoy the present and work on as many projects I can in life, so… 90. What makes you angry? MANY THINGS ABOUT THIS WORLD. Ass/arrogant people, cruelty, society giving pressure to our individual needs, … 91. Do you like your own name? Yes J It’s an ordinary one, but not that ordinary, and it’s kinda “beautiful”, I think (?) (like, it sounds good and I like it written too. There are words I just like, and there are researchs about synesthetic people, if you wanna try a look). 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? YES. For a girl, it’ll be Sakura or Hikari. If it’s a boy, I don’t know yet, but might be something related to Luffy, as the name of an Spanish youtuber (Lutffi, and yes he’s aware of the character, and no it wasn’t on purpose lol). I’m a weeb, aren’t I? Sorry ‘bout that >o< 93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I don’t  know. I always wanted a girl, but now I’m starting to like the idea of a couple like siblings… 94. What are you strengths? Emm. I think I have great empathy, are good with psycological aspects and very flexible/open-minded. I like to try new things. 95. What are your weaknesses?Pysic aspects, not good with formalities and kinda socially awkward… I’m not a good at organizing (but I’m getting better) nor with  routines… 96. How did you get your name? My mother named me? xD 97. Were your ancestors royalty? No, I don’t think so xD. And NO, I don’t want to :( 98. Do you have any scars? What? Again? It’s a mistake, right? :o 99. Color of your bedspread? Many bright colors xD (light, not “shiny” though) 100. Color of your room? Purple and light pink.

PD: Sorry, I’m not really an interesting peroson, but I can’t help sharing this tests, I love doing them x)

[vestedbeauty]

How to Really Be Happy in Midlife

New Post has been published on https://vestedbeauty.com/how-to-really-be-happy-in-midlife/

How to Really Be Happy in Midlife

For those on the quest to be happy…

OK, actually, this secret for how to be happy would work no matter your age. It’s just that you might not be ready for it until long after you’ve duked it out with life for several decades.

For the past few years, the most frequent (and best) compliment people have paid me is, “You just seem so happy.”

Only seems right to share my secret.

But First, I Want To Paint You A Picture Of Two Of My Friends. I Kinda Hope The Second One Isn’t Reading This. 

But if I’m going to be honest here, I can’t shy away from telling the truth. 

The first friend is, well, I’m not sure which adjective fits best. 

She’s usually happy. But more than that, it’s like she’s content. Maybe it’s a sense of deep inner joy. 

If you sneak up on her, you might find her standing outdoors in the grass, embracing the breeze. It’s like she’s got a weird secret language going on with the birds, the leaves, the clouds, the very air around her. If you don’t catch the slight upturn to her lips – not like a maniacal grin, but a decidedly happy countenance – you can still see the same state reflected in her eyes.

It’s not like everything in life has gone well for her. She’s seen some truly tough times, some even gut-wrenching. But you might never even know the particulars. Any heaviness her heart has felt is clearly relegated to the past. She’s the kind of person who’s here, now, in the present. When she looks back, even at the hard parts, it’s clear to her that all of it brought her to right where she is now, a great place. She learned valuable lessons from every struggle and challenge along the way.

Every morning, she’s so grateful to have gotten another day. She says that the days seem to be moving at double-speed now, and their brevity prompts her to appreciate them even more.

It’s possible she’s one of the most optimistic people I know. Maybe eager or delighted are better words. Whatever the word, this thing about her – it’s real.

The second friend, to be blunt, is toxic. 

She’s always complaining. Even when she tries to couch it in “I’m not complaining” tones and phrases, it’s still complaining. 

She throws the best pity parties ever, complete with party favors for her guests to take home and despise forever. 

Maybe she finds comfort in spewing her negativity wherever she goes. Or maybe it’s more a matter of feeling somehow righteous because she can spot stupidity, selfishness, or tragedy in life. Not sure.

But I know she’s got an insatiable thirst for sympathy. Every conversation somehow loops back to a wound, slight, failure that makes her happiness impossible. She visibly relishes the telling of her tales of woe, like they taste like honey on her tongue. She might be an artful storyteller. Or else, her skill comes from having rehearsed and retold her whiny stories so many times to so many audiences that she knows when to pause, when to gesture, when to trail off in despair. Not sure.

What’s really weird is that it’s like you can see all of this self-pity on her like she rolled in it. There’s no sense of self-respect. She’ll people please to the point where it’s revolting to witness. Out of the blue, she can fly into a rage. She seems to have such little regard for herself that she turns “low-maintenance” into a gross caricature. 

Like, she literally scored a zero on this quiz:

Worst of all, I know she sometimes wakes up enough to realize how she’s showing up. It grieves her. She gets remorseful. But even in that pitiful and despairing state, she’s still angling for someone to feel bad for her and prop her back up.

Actually, that’s not the worst part at all.

The Real Worst Part Is That My Toxic Friend… Is Me.

But to be fair, so is the first friend.

I remember living as the self-pitying wretch back when I was much younger. For sure, that was life in my 20’s. Maybe as a teen, too. Certainly through my 30’s and into my 40’s. Regrettably, she still makes an appearance now and then in my 50’s. I plan to outlive her by many decades, though.

I kinda hate that bitch. Those closest to me have seen her so often. I feel embarrassed to point out the ugliness they kindly look past in me. She’s got to go. For everyone’s sake.

Want to hear my plan for crowding her out of my life forever? It centers on the secret I’ve discovered about how to be really happy in midlife.

How to be happy, in seven little words and a properly placed semi-colon:

“Gather the happy; don’t stack the gripes.”

Sometimes happiness is most clearly seen in the middle of the darkest days. It’s probably the contrast. When everything seems dismal, the tiniest delight sparkles like tinsel. It’s a tiny joy, so tiny that dozens can fit into the palm of your hand. 

Inconsequential delights, when I gather enough of them, take on some heft. We’re not talking about the typical things someone might say qualify – like falling in love, laughing with a friend, hearing you’ve inspired someone, or even biting into a perfectly crisp slice of thick bacon. 

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It’s truly tiny happinesses:

Watching the breeze make the stand of trees out our window dance in the first moments after I wake

Feeling in my bones the certainty of God’s presence and love and undeniable grace. 

The ridiculously simple joy of the sensation of scooting my foot into my slipper

Pouring the perfect cup of coffee into my favorite mug

Sitting on the porch swing with my sweet hubby while we drink coffee, look at what’s grown in the garden overnight, and listen to the birds

The blissful feeling of him washing my hair, conditioning it, and combing it smooth

How my weird flock of chickens rushes the gate when I bring them cracked corn

The puttering-around pleasure that comes from refilling my 27 water globes (who knew plants were so doggone thirsty?)

That giggly delight of watching our asshole kitten do something really cute and sweet. (BTW, a couple of days after this photo, he broke that flowerpot.)

The sheer delight of setting in for a day of work doing what I love to do best

Oh, and I scoop up all those “bits of happy” almost every single day. It’s glimmer does not dull with use. If anything, these fractional moments become even more delightful with repetition. 

They also seem to compound, building on each other. So, I continue to heap them on top of the pile throughout the day. I gather the small delights that crop up daily in the same spots along my path.

I used to think something big and great had to happen to really be happy. 

There had to be some grand rescue effort, where happiness swooped down and banished the worst of life’s blues. Maybe I’d come into money. Or somehow be discovered as a supremely talented something or another. Maybe I’d find a friend who’d love and chose me on purpose. Or maybe I’d one day do something remarkable, significant, and that would make me feel special.

But with some growing up, I came to understand that everything boils down to a choice. I choose my experience, my outlook, and where to put my focus.

Focus is crazy powerful. It magnifies whatever falls in its path. 

Small irritations become murder-ready misery-boosters. But tiny good bits become hefty delights. 

A thanks-filled moment becomes a good mood. That good mood fuels a day where it’s easy to take inspired action, to work in the zone of genius, to relate well with others, to feel proud of how I show up.

Choosing to gather the happy is not always my default mode. But it’s a world I can create, and the world I love living in best. 

So, the plan is to do what works. As often as I become conscious of thinking about this one phrase, I think it on purpose. It is: I live in bliss. 

Every moment is a choice. When I choose to gather the happy and enjoy it, it’s like flanking the toxic pity-party girl. From the front, all she can see is the dazzling handfuls of happy little gems, all piled up. Some brush against her and give her hope she might one day hold that much happy. From the rear, the happy and healthy me stands as living proof that everything that needy, dramatic, and pathetic wretch longs for so desperately is only one choice away. Given enough practice, all that happy will dissolve the miserable lady into vapor. 

But for today, I am grateful to have grown this much. I know there’s a long, long way to go. And I know that growth usually hurts a lot in the moment. As a wise mentor told me:

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” 

Any of that resonate with you? Would you do something with me for a sec? I’d love it if you’d take a moment to look in your heart, in the part that’s whole, healthy, happy. What tiny moment do you notice in your everyday life that sparks joy in you for as long as you stay in the moment? Can you describe it? Would you share it in the comments? 

I’m thinking that by sharing these tiny delights with each other, we might find ourselves nudged in the ribs the next time we encounter that same moment in our own day. 

  P.S. Are you writing a memoir?

Hey, if you’re writing a memoir or autobiography, I’d love to help you. On the right side of the screen, you can request free weekly memoir-writing prompts. It’s always easier to write from something than to stare at a blank page!

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[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #18

Finally sat down to work through 20 more questions. I know I’d been a bit behind for a while, but here comes a flurry of questions and comments. As usual I’ve tried to tag people that were brave enough to put their names on the questions, but if you were Anonymous you’ll have to look through manually.

@tenacious-brii said: Hi! I was wondering if you might have heard of the Orthopedic Foundation for Animals, and if you have, what you think of them. My understanding is they're working to implement a higher breeding standard to prevent inbreeding / continuation of genetic diseases and disorders (like hip dysplasia for example) It sounds like a worthy goal but maybe I am being hopelessly optimistic, lol. As for tax; Which pokemon would be your main companion? Thank you for all that you do!!

The OFA would love to implement higher standards for breeding dogs, but they can't actually enforce anything. All they can do is collect the data and make recommendations. They have some super interesting data on the frequency of hip and elbow dysplasia in dogs, but there are a few potential flaws.

Number one is that it's not compulsory for breeders to disclose their hip and elbow results. If they screen a dog with bad hips, for example, and simply choose not to send those results in, then the recorded 'breed average' will be 'better' than reality.

I do have a soft spot for Ivysaur.

savageborn said:  I met a pure bred St Bernard at work for the first time today (i work part time as a vet assistant at a small local clinic) and. I was taken aback. They're so big. I've never seen one in person before and im still just amazed. I wanted to share. He was very sweet just. So Big.

Yes, they are indeed very big. Super fun as puppies though, when at even their early puppy vaccination they're dwarfing adult dogs in the waiting room.

Anonymous said: Up until relatively recently (the 1980s!), it was widely accepted that human newborns didn't feel pain. I'm not surprised if that idea hasn't persisted when it comes to mice.

Gosh humans can be stubborn, self-centred and lacking in empathy, can't they? That was probably believed to make themselves feel a whole lot better about circumcision.

agender-fordmustang said: As a vet assistant, I find egg + meat chicken production to be very interesting, despite my disgust for birds who are bred so large they cant get up out of their own excreta. What's your favorite thing which you thought you'd hate?

I don't think I really expected to hate anything, I find most of biology genuinely fascinating. I find turkey semen collection a bit weird, but there's not much on the animal side I really hate.

Humans and the things we do are complicated. I wasn't really all that fond of humans when I started out, but have come to like a larger percentage of them over time.

Anonymous said: In regards to getting accepted to vet school, would you say grades were very important? Like would an A vs a B in a class make it or break it? Also do they look at extracurriculars as much as everyone tells me haha. Everyone loves to tell me how competitive vet school is and I've just started my undergrad education so I'm trying to evaluate my priorities! Thank you so much and thank you for running such a wonderful blog! <3

When I went through, and please remember it was over a decade ago when I was applying, they looked at your academic achievements first, and extracurriculars second, but if you didn't have any extracurricular experience with the veterinary industry you weren't looked on as favourably as if you did. By the interview stage, the professors had already more or less decided who they wanted as students, the interviews just sealed the deal and maybe bumped you higher or lower on the list.

Anonymous said: I have a condition where I have random and uncontrollable nose bleeds, at least once a day and lasting anywhere from a minute to an hour. I would like to have a job with animals or in the medical field but I am afraid my nose bleeds will be in excusable in a medical environment. Can someone like me work as a vet or other medical personal or am I better off finding something else?

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to answer this. There are definitely medical, infectious and sanitary concerns with having unpredictable nosebleeds. I'm not even sure how you're managing outside of a clinical setting, and I'm sorry I can't be more help.

Anonymous said: hello! i recently got a kitten to accompany the cat i already have (they get along wonderfully!) I was wondering though, we feed our cat purina kibble and have been feeding the kitten canned fancy feast- im planning on incorporating more wet food into the older cat's diet because i know cats get a majority of hydration from their food. anyway i know that the brands we feed them arent ideal, but we dont have a lot of money for otherwise. do you have any advice on better brands perhaps?

Cats are perfectly capable of drinking water, but I don't give people food recommendations. That's a slippery slope that I wont go down.

bettsplendens said: Am I right in thinking that "meat by-products" in the context of cat food probably means organ meat and miscellaneous scraps rather than anything actually ominous?

More or less. It can include any part of the animal that isn't profitable to market as a labelled something for human consumption. So while it might include lots of organs, it's less likely to include hearts, liver and tripe, which can be sold separately, and may also include things like neck and cheek meat is those cuts are not popular locally, or just edges of things that nobody wanted.

Anonymous said: Why do dogs have really short hiccup attacks? Are they hiding hiccup curing secrets from us?!

Dogs can have longer hiccup attacks, but their diets are usually more regular and they're less likely to be overfed than we are. They usually grow out of hiccups in puppyhood.

Anonymous said: How about when I worked at a pet store, I had to dissuade a man who wanted a remote shock collar for his wife's 3lb Yorkie. The smallest collar we carried was rated for 10lbs minimum. He said they'd go out to check on their cattle, and the dog would jump out of his arms and race towards the cows. He said he was concerned a cow would hurt her, and he just needed "something that would drop 'er." I suggested a leash. He said, "Nah, she don't like leashes."

Humans are capable of astounding levels of foolishness.

Anonymous said: Our dog recently had to have a large patch shaved on her side due to a wound. She is double-coated, and I've always heard you shouldn't shave a double-coated dog because the coat won't grow back the same. Is this true? Obviously it's better that it was shaved or the vet wouldn't have done it, but I want to make sure this won't affect her ability to be in the sun in the future and all that jazz. (btw we love our vet to bits, but she can be a bit hard to reach for simple questions)

It will grow back eventually (assuming no endocrinopathies affecting the fur), but the guard hairs will take longer to grow back and look like they did before shaving. It's only a part of the dog that's been shaved, so unlikely to be an issue.

Anonymous: What sorts of things do vet assistants do on the job? (I'm trying to figure out if being a vet assistant is something I actually want to do or if I just think that I want to do it because I like animals) Also question tax, what's your favorite kind of flower? Thanks!

Considering Vet Assistant is not a regulated term here, it might be anything from a layperson with no training just doing what a vet instructs them to do, to being basically a vet nurse. I do not work with vet assistants, I work with trained vet nurses, so you will get a better answer asking someone who actually works under that title.

Anonymous said: Not sure if this has been asked already but one of my cat's tails vibrates and shakes. She does it all the time. I'm not necessarily concerned, but is this normal in cats?

It can be if the cat is highly stimulated or agitated.

Anonymous said: A short story for you: ever since he was little my cat has done the claw kneading thing to my hair and dribbles while doing it. It's so weird but now it's just normal to me. I assume it's just his quirk it's cute

A lot of cats will salivate while purring and kneading. It's probably a reflex left over from kittenhood, when they would knead their mother while suckling.

Anonymous said: I'm worried about my dog's bite since he is a show dog. So far he has the normal scissor bite but it seems like it's turning to a level bite. He has reached his adult height and is a bit over 1 year old. Are the jaws supposed to grow anymore?

Probably not but it might depends on breed and I can neither see nor examine your dog, and you are anonymous.

Anonymous said: question tax: for some reason i imagine that cattle really love you!? like just licking your face and trying to lay in your lap. i just get that vibe!! question: so my dog is missing a few molars for some reason. our vet says it isn't a problem and he eats perfectly well. it's got me thinking about the dogs that have missing teeth and end up with their tongues hanging out of their mouths. what causes that? my pup doesn't do it but there's a pretty obvious gap.

Dogs that are missing canine teeth often have tongues that deviate and pop out. It's more common in brachycephalic dogs, which have long tongues relative to their face anyway.

I miss cows.

Anonymous said: I work at a pet store and frequently have to deal with people who own wheezing pugs thinking "oh he just makes that sound when he's happy", do you have any advice for convincing them that their dog isn't healthy and needs to see a vet? Question tax: came for the vet stories, stayed for the vet stories, your blog is fantastic!

I tend to say something along the lines of how something might be common and been present for a long time, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. Or that something might have been normalised but that doesn't make it normal.

prepackagedsoul said:I've had two German Shepherds (so I've spent some time at the vet, like you said a lot went wrong with them but i did do everything possible to fix it) and for now I've switched over to cats and, holy shit? Like they're so hardy and long lasting my grandmother has a cat that is 20 years old. She also owns one of her kittens, and he's nineteen. They're both still pretty active too, so I guess I'll bury this cat when I'm forty if all goes well.

Cats are great. They want to live, they heal well, they're tough little buggers.

aquila-audax said: Steering away from vet medicine but still within the wonderful realm of the life sciences, do you have a favourite species/group of plants?

I am partial to foxgloves. Partly for their appearance, but also because I like foxy things and they're poisonous in a cool way.

vantastrophe said: Any fantasy authors you really enjoy? Looking for more books to read, I really like Neil Gaiman but that's the only author so far ? hope you're having a great week!

Terry Pratchett is my #1, forever and always.

[fyrapartnersearch]

Hello I am here and so are you, so we have one thing in common already

✿Short and Sweet✿

I am looking for an 18+ long-term partner whose primary pairings are M/M. I don’t want anyone who takes things too seriously, RPing is a relaxing pastime and if I’m stressing about replying constantly/meeting word counts I’m going to hate it. That being said I do like doing paragraph replies with anywhere from 300-1000 words, depending on how long my replies are I can reply every day or every week (it really just depends on my motivation/mood/schedule)

Please skim over my interests and the like at the bottom to see how compatible we are. Since I’m looking for a long-term partner, I’d like for us to have several things in common. Please don’t contact me if only one or two of our interest match up. <3

✧Settings✧

Sci-fi/Space Opera

Post-apocalypse

Medieval/Fantasy

Modern Day (No generic High School/ Domestic stuff)

Historical

War

Fandom: Warhammer 40k, Star Trek, Star Wars, Mass Effect, Voltron:LD, Fallout, Elder Scrolls, Dragon Age, W.o.W., SnK, Tokyo Ghoul,  (I only do OcxOc in fandom settings. I will not play, or play against canon characters)

✧Kinks/Other✧

Likes

Size Differences

Power Bottoms

Gentle Giants

Fem Boys/Crossdressing (both as a sexual and non-sexual thing, really just depends on how it’s presented)

Monster boys/Men

Robots

Aliens

Toxic relationships

M/S Relationships

Bondage

Dislikes

Standard dislikes (Toiletplay, Bestiality, Pedophilia Etc.)

Incest

Mpreg

✧Contact✧

Email: Dunkmastersassquatch@gmail.com

Skype: Dunkmastersassquatch (Kaptain Krunch)

  ✿Long and Detailed✿

I am looking for a totally rad person who is 18 years of age or older and who places value in long-term partnerships/friendships. I like to get to know my partners and would like to be able to speak casually with them about our ideas or whatever. If you are also looking for someone who just wants to kick back and have some fun making our characters miserable then please continue below to see how well our interests line up!

✪ About Me✪

Age: 20

Times Zone: Central Time

Occupation: Severely depressed college student

Hello, I write and also draw and also am looking for an RP partner who shares many of my interests so we can write together for many, many years and over many RPs.

I’m pretty laid back about most things. I just ask that you communicate with me about things instead of just assuming and that you are fairly literate. (Text speech/ Lingo is a-okay as long as it’s OOC or fits the RP)

I’d like for us to be friends as well as partners because it helps motivate me to write/draw/ feel the good vibes ™. So please, please talk with me about your interests/ fandoms/day as well as any plot ideas or twists you may have because I will certainly jabber on about mine. BTW Feel free to say no to my ideas if you’re not interested, I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll get over it. (I will assume the same goes for you)

✪ About My Roleplaying ✪

Comfort level word count: 300-500

Tense: Third Person, Present (will do past if it’s super important to you)

Frequency: Depends, but if I’m at my comfort level I’ll probably be able to respond multiple times a day. Anything above that will of course take me longer.

I would prefer to RP over skype or some other IM system ( I could be convinced to get a Discord, but the thing is my internet is super slow and downloading it would take an hour, I’m not exaggerating it’s that bad, and I just really don’t feel like doing that right now)  however, E-mail is also okay.

Skype: Dunkmastersassquatch

Email: Dunkmastersassquatch@gmail.com

Grammar and what not is kind of important I guess, but not as important as content. I’m not sure if this ad is really an accurate example of my writing potential as I’m just kind of spewing out whatever. That being said if you’re okay with the level this ad is written at, then you’ll probably be okay with my actual writing. If you’re not okay with it then, eh, take a chance?

As for my characters, I play Doms, Subs, and Switches and don’t really have a preference for one over another. Keep in mind that sometimes my subs are whiney, uke boys and sometimes they will twist your nips and call you a cuck. AKA my character’s personalities are not dependent on their position in bed, HOWEVER sometimes their personality will, coincidentally, line up with the stereotype of their position.

✪ Pre-existing Ideas/Interest✪

Just to show you kind of how my mind works. Feel free to ask for one of these (and add to them <3) or not. The summaries don’t indicate which character I want to play (because I’m mostly good with playing either) so let me know if you have a preference towards a character.

✧General✧

Sci-fi/Space Opera:

1. I have this alien race that are essentially gender neutral, like there’s no way to tell their gender unless you get in their pants. They pretty much consider even KNOWING what gender they are as extremely intimate and somewhat taboo. So they take forever to choose a mate and when they do it’s for life. I’d be pretty down for doing something with that.

2. A near-homeless man finds an old broken down robot behind one of his favorite restaurants. It’s an old, outdated model, but he thinks he can fix it up with just a little time.

Post-apocalypse:

The world is broken, it’s times like this when people need to come together to rebuild what was lost. Like that’s going to happen, every semi-competent faction is vying for control of more land, more money. Its times like THIS when smart people, really smart people can get ahead. That’s just what the tactician is doing. He’s a smart guy who’s never lost a battle and he’s up for grabs to any faction that’s willing to shell out the cash. However, smart guys like that tend to make enemies and the faction he’s working for insists he have a bodyguard.

Supernatural:

1. It’s an equal exchange, the vampire bites you and gets fed and the represents they release gives you the high of your life. It’s only good business to do it in a hotel room or something so you’re not tripping on the streets, but what happens when your vampiric dealer doesn’t want to leave. (I have a bit more to this world so just ask if you’re interested)

2. He’s always been a bit of a loner, a ghost to society. When he moves into his new apartment he doesn’t really see it as much of a change, until he lays down to sleep and feels hands running through his hair.

Medieval Historical/Medieval Fantasy:

1. (Medieval Fantasy) This was the big expedition, this cave was going to have all the riches of his dreams. The cave-in however, that wasn’t to be expected. These cave were abandoned right? So why can he feel something watching him.

2. (Medieval Fantasy) After 10,000 an evil necromancer awakens from the curse that paladin put on him, he’s ecstatic to find out his Orc bodyguard was cursed too. Now they can continues their plans for world conquest and also get some revenge.

3. (Medieval Historical) He’s a highwayman all he wants is your money or your life. One day an unsuspecting priest comes along and tries to bargain for his life with the word of God. It’s didn’t work, but something in his eyes kept him from killing the priest.

4. (Medieval Fantasy) Someone’s plotting to kill the king and all bets are on the shady court magician. There’s no proof though, so the king assigns personal servants to all within his court as a “gift” (to spy) Maybe the court magician isn’t as evil as everyone says….or maybe he’ll have his new servant face down in the gutter by tomorrow.

Modern Day:

1. He’s been crushing on the cute boy in his precalculus class since the semester started. He finally gets the never to ask him out, only to later find out that his love interest is a furry. What’s a furry?

2. He had no clue his dorm mate was a mass murderer, what even more surprising is that he’s in love with him. (Killing Stalking sort of thing)

3. Crime Bosses weren’t supposed to fall in love, especially not with someone in law enforcement, even if that “law enforcement” is a mall cop.

Historical:

I don’t really have any prompts of my own I just put this here to let you know I’m into this too. Do refrain from using real people from history, I’m not into that. (Including real events/facts is A+ tho.)

Superheroes (actually mostly villains) and stuff:

1. He’s the number one fan of the number one bad guy in the world. Sure he wants to see the world burn, but if the posters on this nerd’s wall say anything it’s that he wants to watch it burn too.

2. The boss isn’t the smartest guy around, but that’s why he’s here. His henchman and unofficial bodyguard, he’s content to let his boss run about with his foolish plans even if the ones in his own head are 10x better.

✧Fandom✧

I will only do OCxOC in fandom settings. I will not play or play against canon characters. It’s just not my thing, sorry. v-v

Warhammer 40k:

*While I’m not a super lore whore I will try to keep pretty close to it. This means that, yes, I expect any Space Marine characters to be impotent. But I mean hey have you SEEN the size of their fingers, I mean, tsk, come on…COME ON…*

1. A Tzeentch/Slaaneshi psyker finds an ancient deamonic staff of domination (it’s prolly Slaaneshi too, let’s be honest) which forces its user’s will on one other person. Being a whimpey little psyker he decides to use it on a chaos lord of Khorne, who is pretty upset about the whole thing, to say the least. (this is actually based off two of my O.C.s we can keep as close to their story, or as far from is as you’d like.)

2. Love can bloom…or it can violently explode within the chamber of an ancient Eldar long rifle. While exploring some ancient ruins one day, a lone rogue trader finds a discarded rifle on the floor. Upon picking it up he finds that it…speaks to him? It’s really got a tongue on it too, but hey it’s too awesome of a weapon to give up.  (Yes this is a relationship between a man and the soul of an ancient Eldar that resides in a gun….)

Star Trek:

1. The son of a prominent Romulan commander abandons his duties and becomes a notorious smuggler. Now he’s on the run from the Tal’ Shiar (who are trying to drag him home), a Ferengi trader (whom he may or may not have sold faulty weapons to) and a Klingon bounty hunter (who he’s tempted to be captured by.)

2. Comfort women were a common sight within the quarters of Cardassian soldiers during the occupation. However, this Gul would rather seduce a known Bajoran resistance fighter. After all the greater the challenge, the greater the reward.

 Star Wars:

1. An admiral is supposed to be reliable, smart, and efficient he is, after all, in command of an entire fleet of ships. This admiral, as CT-7465 has found out, is a little too young and laid back for the job. (Clone Wars Era)

2. They were supposed to stay together, best friends fighting side by side against the Sith, until he became a Sith. (Pre Prequels.)

Voltron:LD:

1. A Galra commander is dragged along by one of his friends to one of those ridiculous slave auctions. He expected to sit there bored as his friend lusted over all his new “options”. For the most part he was right, but why does that boy keep catching his eye? (A sort of sweet Galra bby)

2. A Galra commander is fed up with spending his nights alone, he needs someone to share his bed and he wants them to be perfect. So he picks up one of those slave order catalogues and starts filling in all his specifications. When his slave finally arrives, he’s not quite what was ordered. (An abusive Galra bby)

3. (Alt. Universe) The Human Empire dominates the galaxy under Emperor Shiro Takashi and a recently promoted chancellor now has the kind of money he needs to fulfil one of his most devious fantasies: owning a Galra pet.

 Fallout:

I don’t really have any plots for this either, but I would absolutely love to do something in this universe!

 Elder Scrolls:

He’s a nord:  strong, hearty, well endowed, and he’s got Talos to thank for it. Now these elves come in and tell him Talos is no God, well that’s just not right. But the Thalmor agent that’s threatening his arrest is really, really handsome.

Dragon Age:

1. The Inquisitor is just a normal guy who happens to have a glowing hand. Completely normal right? And normal people don’t really find the company of extravagant Teventer mages and buff Qunari spies to be all that appealing (no matter how handsome they may be.) No, he needs someone simpler, someone who can remind him he’s still just a normal guy. (I don’t really consider the inquisitor to be a canon character b/c they’re kinda player based.)

2. Seheron belongs to no one but the ones who live here, he wishes the Qunari and the Teventers would learn that and leave his home alone. He’s getting sick of only feeling safe when the fog covers him. (Fog Warrior/Qunari Soldier)

W.o.W.:

Does it count as necrophilia if they’re Undead?

Blood elves are pompous stuck ups and orcs are barbaric savages, so why are they fighting on the same side?

   Tokyo Ghoul: *Trigger Warning for suicidal thoughts*

A recent high-school graduate learns he’s contracted a terminal disease. His parents are too poor to afford treatment, in fact they’re too poor to support him or his four siblings. Since he’s going to die anyways, he might as well spare them the cost for the few months he has left. But he doesn’t like the idea of anyone else having to clean up his dead body. Maybe he can at least be useful in killing himself, ghouls eat people, right?

✧Tropes✧

Monsters: I love QT monster boys (slime boys, nagas etc.), but I also love big bara giants. My thing is either: their head and torso are humanoid and everything else can be whatever OR they have to be a full blown, all out monster (they have to have sentience though, I’m not into bestiality stuff.)

Size Difference (ranges from slight difference to HOLY HELL YOU ARE MASSIVE WTF I ONLY COME UP TO YOUR STOMACH): I love big bara boys who fall in love with small tiny babes. The big bara can be all super macho or whatever I’m into that too, but what I really, really like is when they’re a squishy romantic who is completely devoted to their bby. Like they are willing to do anything their tiny love says at a moment’s notice. Bonus if the tiny boy is an absolute argumentative spitfire.

Age Differences: I don’t care how big the age gap is so long as the youngest is 18 or older.

Hey, Listen: This seems like a good place to put one of those “if you’ve read this far” things, not that I expect everyone to. However, if you have read all this then put the words “coco for cocoa puffs” somewhere in your message to me. <3

Toxic Relationships: Physically or mentally abusive (or both). Things can either work out in the end with the abusive cunt changing their ways, or not. I’m good with either.

Angst: I’m completely okay with letting characters straight up die. If that’s not something you’re into just say so and we can keep it fairly happy. However, if it’s something you’re willing to do HIGHFIVE!

Hopeless romance: In complete contrast to Toxic relationships I’m also into 100% fluffy and supportive relationships (so long as they both go through some hell. Can’t keep things too happy)

One-Sided: I love when characters think they are in a hopelessly one-sided love (but in fact aren’t). What would make it even better is if they are casually having sex with each other (because their friends with benefits/ one of them thinks the other is imagining someone else/ whatever) while both of them are secretly in love with each other, but neither of them knows it. Love is confusing.

Yandere/Ice King: Self explanatory

Unlikely Lovers: This could be characters who hate each other, but are hopelessly attracted to each other, people on opposing sides (Good Guy/Bad Guy) who fall in love, or characters who hate each other at first due to prejudices (ex. Orc/Elf) but are forced to work together and fall in love along the way.

✪ About 18+ Content: ✪

✧Violence/Cursing✧

I am okay with gore and death and the eternal void so long as it’s fitting/ pre-planned/ we’ve been writing together for a while and you know what you want to do won’t upset me.

I’ve avoided doing it (I think) in this ad out of respect for other’s preferences, but I my cuss level is that of someone who has recently stubbed their pinkie toe against the corner of the bed. So, if you want to contact me please be okay with that, it’s understand able if you yourself don’t want to cuss, but don’t try and force that standard on me. (This goes for pretty much everything else involving ideals/morals)

✧Sexual Situations✧

Obviously, you have to be 18+, even though I kinda said that at the very beginning I want to say it again. If you’re not 18+ and I find out you’re not I will immediately drop you and also likely report you as underage to which ever site you came to me from. You are endangering people when you pull that kind of stuff. So, if you’re under 18 (even if you’re 17 and your birthday is just two months away or the age of consent in your country is below 18) don’t contact me.

Anywhoo, I love smut, but I don’t want it to overtake the RP. I am pretty kink friendly, but I do have limits (which I’m about to list) if there’s something you’re having doubts about just ask, please don’t assume what I’m okay/not okay with.

Kinks I enjoy:

<3 <3 BDSM: Collars, bondage, S&M

<3 Violence: Biting, Scratching, Light asphyxiation

<3 <3 <3Power Bottoms: AKA I love when the smaller guy gets it in the bum, but he’s got complete control of how his top moves (demanding that he slow down/speed up that sort of thing)

Kinks that I think are pooie:

Pooie

Watersports

Necrophilia

Pedophilia

Bestiality

Incest

Mpreg