#and I realized that I was actually more on the lines of
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sailor-kaiju · 15 hours ago
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When I was an early tween, I inhaled romance manga. Read SO many volumes.
One week I was blowing through a manga and LOVING it. Great art, great characters, compelling story….and then…
And then they broke up at the end.
Oh. Oh hell no.
Use to terrible American romance novels, where no matter how poorly the characters fit, no matter how awful they were to each other, they would get over it and realize they were meant to be. And have babies. Consent optional. This was before the internet had even discovered “problematic.”
And this manga DARED break the rules. I through it across the room and cried.
A few years of age and maturity down the line, I picked it back up, remembering it had a pretty decent trans character and I wanted to check before sharing with my friends.
You guys. The main relationship was hella manipulative and emotionally abusive. Sometimes more. They were really bad for each other and actually made a really thoughtful choice breaking up with each other. It is a beautiful story about how sometimes first love isn’t the best love cause we aren’t fully boiled humans yet.
Anyway. Sometimes a story just isn’t for you.
And also read Paradise Kiss.
is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
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dykedvonte · 20 hours ago
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I think a big misunderstanding is the power people give Curly to actually change things about the way the pony express operates or could’ve done things on the Tulpar.
We are talking about a company that docks pay for bad synergy despite mandated psych evals that should tell which staff members would work well together, only allots for 5 hours of sleep despite having literally no other tasks to truly do and locks all resources behind the access of one person. The last one is likely to manage resources and make it easier to justify collective punishment and blaming one person for it; someone needs something in “excess” or the captain gives in? It’s all on them your pay is docked. Instant resentment.
It’s insidious how the company works, it’s by design to distract you from coming after them, to force tensions to line their own pockets. With all the restrictions and forced interactions, altercations are bound to happen. 5 hours of sleep a day, limited sources of entertainment, no real tasks… the monotony alone would cause bad cabin fever, mix that with just only one absolute mediator and you get the exact environment that allows shit like in the game to happen.
The idea he could just complain and try to throw his weight around to get them to dig into their pocket for the crews comfort is laughable and misses the predatory and dehumanizing aspect of capitalism the Pony Express represents. Curly was and is still just another asset to them. Being a top show pony doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to the actual top. He is the top of the working ladder, not whoever’s in corporate, he wouldn’t even be on the bottom step unlike what Jimmy perceives. The resounding recommendations he would get are almost mocking as they throw him out like nothing just like the rest. Being a shitty fucking company, how much do you bet they’d mean anything anyways, especially since he wanted to leave the field all together.
He made a fuss and they didn’t listen, he says he should’ve done more but you can tell he knows it wouldn’t have changed anything. Jobs like this are willing to make a sacrifice if it means even a penny more. Curly makes a bigger fuss they likely would’ve just found an “unrelated” reason to fire him, hired a more pliable guy or, terrifyingly, promoted Jimmy. The company was failing, going to shut down whether anything happened on the ship or not. But knowing that they were shutting down and that everyone, including him, would be out of a job with this being their last paycheck, he had to factor in not destroying the last bit of their financial stabilities combined with every other issue on the vessel and his own. He gets another cryopod or locks and then he has to break to them that they are not only fired but there will be substantial cuts to their paychecks due to the “upgrades” (things that already should’ve been in place on their part) on top of anything else that could be docked along the way.
You can blame him for saying it so early into the trip but then again, if he mentioned it later who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse? On the capitalism side alone how would people in a galaxy away from home, out of a job and already stir crazy react? Don’t get me started on how Jimmy would have reacted if he realized he only had two days left to fix what would be a very hard to miss “problem” in his head…
I can’t even consider explaining this as devils advocate because it’s just facts of the world we and they live in and factors that heavily affected the situation. People are just so quick to make claims on the ease of the choices when P.E literally makes it hard to choose to do anything but suck it up.
#this is also like a sort of point that while I wanted Curly to do more for Anya I realized he would have to jeaporsiE the crews safety in#some way like if they needed the cryopods one person would be left without one and like it would be curly he’d offer but don’t think any of#them would be happy or feel okay with letting him die over a rapist? he kills Jimmy and now he has to stand trial and be arrested for murder#because it’s not self defense or manslaughter like they could obviously lie but he wouldn’t let them do that in case of a sort of black box#or guilt on their mind specifically with Daisuke who would likely be kept out of the loop not to mention it’s a dead body with a limited#likely recycled air supply so again he’s getting tried for murder and they are down a cryopod#not to mentions again the fact that you need a copilot like I know like aviation law and shit is crazy and like not common knowledge#but you bed a second set of eyes or someone to trade off with so you don’t loose ur concentration or doze and crash#like they don’t just sit their and do nothing like Jimmy probably did some of the time cause Curly likely didn’t want to make him#cause like pissed off and spiteful Jimmy manning the controls even if just helping is not something he wants to deal with and risk their#lives but i digress I genuinely think the biggest flaw of Curly’s in the situation is being a man who could not handle or understand the#emotional gravity of what Anya experienced especially at the hands of someone who he was also#emotonal/mentally mistreated by and wanted to so badly to believe was his friend and improving#like he did not offer her enough or the proper emotional/physical security he could’ve as a captain nor friend but in that it goes right#back to the systems at play that make it so he isn’t meant or supposed to understand so it can’t be perpetuated and blah blah blah how many#times do I have to explain systematic oppression to certain groups in this fandom and it isn’t cut n dry of good guys bad guys and victims#as outliers of the tow categories l#mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#the pony express#The Tulpar
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solbaby7 · 15 hours ago
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I know that the bar is swamped, but if you find the time and have the liquor, could I please have a neat Manhattan with a salt rim?
(Idk how to say this but like, submissive neat? If you're alright with that)
lololol “if you’re alr with that” babe, i’m foaming at the fucking mouth for it. this is gonna be a wee bit more than a blurb lemme tell u.
not edited teehee
[ “don’t make me put you on a leash” + smut + sub!az ]
-> BLURB BAR <-
Usually, you don’t mind needy.
The grabby hands pawing at your thighs. Kisses that linger on your neck, nose tracing the curve of your shoulder. Hushed words crooned into your ear to distract from the way eager fingers graze at the stitching of expensive lingerie.
It was his reprieve.
Azriel’s favorite way to unwind after spending his days as the dutiful spymaster. With you, he gets to lay down his weapons. Turns off the killer instinct that never seems to comprehend the meaning of a break. Hangs up the battle worn leathers that eats, sleeps, and breathes the contours of Azriel’s body.
But, with you? With you, he doesn’t bother about trivial things like power or strength. He relinquishes his title, shuns his duties, turns his back on honor and responsibility in favor of sinking down on his knees and turning all that over to you.
And usually, you don’t mind.
But the day had been especially stressful; never-ending and the open mouthed kisses trailing up the soft flesh of your inner thigh wasn’t loosening the tight knots embedded along your shoulderblades. “Knock it off.” You grumble softly, an achy spine hunched over glossy wood while weary eyes struggle to decipher the words written on parchment. Knuckles rub against your eyelids, toes nudging at the neat taper of his waist to push him off.
The gentle correction does no good for an impatient pet and Azriel only listens for but a second.
He tries again, going a different route when applying pecks to prettily pedicured toes. A palm curls around your ankle, fingers digging into your soles until a groan of approval rips free from your throat without permission.
Just like that, the damage is already done.
One sound becoming the equivalent of throwing him a bone. “That’s—that’s actually…really nice, Az.”
The praise satiates a need within him, urging him to keep it up, to try harder—to do things that had you gasping and yelping and screaming out raving reviews. It becomes an addiction; fueling an obsession that teases the fine line between devotion and fixation.
Every touch is annoyingly controlled, a soldiers training bleeding into the bedroom when giving his all on a task. He strives to be the best when coaxing knots coiled deep within the muscle of stiff calves, swiftly distracting from the way he suckles marks into the softness of supple thighs. “Feels good?”
“Mmhm,” The grip on your pen wavers, loosens, then falls altogether when Az urges his shadows through your hair; phantom fingers applying generous pressure to your scalp until lids flutter closed and your back slumps fully into your chair. “Just what I needed.”
It’s like adding gasoline to a fire.
You forget yourself when indulging yourself in its warmth; ignoring now flames grow when stoked—how they burn when life is breathed into it. How it eats and eats; singeing and charring, wringing out the life from the air and replacing it with soot.
By time you realize the damage, Azriel’s too far gone. Already high on the kerosene you splash at him and happily huffing in the fumes. “Can make you feel better.” Curious massaging morphs into outright groping, his hands eating at whatever he can hold as his tongue follows behind to lick up the crumbs. “Please, let me taste?”
You should say no.
He doesn’t exactly deserve it. Touching without permission. Refusing to sit still. Begging for treats instead of waiting patiently like good boys should. Whining when you weakly start pushing him back. Growling when you attempt to close your legs.
They’re all red flags—behaviors that warrant correction and yet you ignore them all when Azriel looks up at you with those eyes.
Like vats of honey in the sunlight, absolutely oozing with sticky sweet submission; staring up at you like you were an angel gifted from the heavens.
You suppose the day had been long.
And even gods praise their most dutiful servants.
Teeth bite into the fat of your cheek as feet neatly perch at the edge of your seat, knees parting open as you give into selfish desire. “Fine.” He’s all but drooling before you can get the word out, staring at the skin bared to him. You glisten under faelight, ego inflating when you catch the way Azriel ogles the thin slip of cotton separating you from his prize. “Only a little though. Have to make sure you save room for dinner.”
Dinner be damned for the only feast Azriel craved was between your thighs and he wastes no time digging in once given the go ahead.
His tongue paints a trail up the seam of your pussy and the harsh line of your shoulders finally eases. Two fingers spread you open while the slick muscle circles the rim of your entrance and that rigid knot in your spine finally knows peace.
Satisfaction melts your discipline down more than acceptable, that much becomes apparent when Azriel’s muffled moans shift into sloppy grunts. His nose is all but buried in your cunt, arousal shiny on his lips and dripping down the curve of his chin.
It doesn’t take long for it to get sloppy. Spit sliding down the cleft of your ass, smearing along inner thighs and on the seat cushion below. But you forget to care when you notice the flush of Az’s cheeks, the shallow heave of his chest as the need to coax those wrecked sounds from your mouth outweighed the need to breathe. “Hey,” You huff out, peering down at him, stomach fluttering when he only burrows himself deeper, tongue fucking into a drooling hole. “You need to come up for air.”
Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.
Common sense and rationality left itself at the door, tossed away intentionally out of sight so he has a reason to keep eating and eating and eating.
This time you don’t melt under the pleasure, thighs clenching around his head, smushing his cheeks as you ban access to your fountain of youth. “The mouth on you is pure sin, might almost make up for the fact that you’re a shit listener.” He’s a right mess, cheeks red and lips swollen. One hand furiously stroking at a desperate prick. His mouth opens to complain—maybe to beg, but your thighs only squeeze tighter, teeth digging into the soft part of his cheeks in gentle correction. “By the cauldron, I’ll leash you.”
It only stokes his fire, fresh logs added to keep the inferno from flickering away; abdomen flexing as his body reacts to the threat.
Please, please, please! Azriel’s eyes scream.
You should say no.
Though, restraint had never really been your strong suit.
“If you’re so willing to rob yourself of air for the sake of a cunt, then I suppose we’ll just have to see how long you can hold your breath.”
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mean-scarlet-deceiver · 2 days ago
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Forever and Ever... Even in the 1920s-1960s
Started going down a long digression in the 2+4 essay. Gonna follow this breadcrumb trail over here instead...
One of my arguments is that Gordon actually behaves well and graciously way more often than he is usually given credit for (and starts doing this way earlier than often credited, too).
Along the way, I realized that his spots of bad behavior are not random. When he starts acting all Ass, it's almost always in the period of some sort of major change in his life:
The Three Railway Engines - *waves hand vaguely* all of it -> he's just transferred from the GNR to Sodor
Troublesome Engines - *waves hand again* y'know, all of it -> Thomas moved away :(
Henry the Green Engine - harrumphing about how Henry has let the side down in like three different ways directly after Henry's major reconstructive surgery -> the horrible wreck where Henry, his best friend, could have died, and instead was in hospital the rest of the damn winter
Gordon the Big Engine - "Mind you keep on the rails today!" and then, when he gets pushback, retreating to old friend "boasting" -> is he mother-henning Henry?? he's explicitly referencing the Kipper accident! I would not be too shocked to learn that Gordon gets twinges of unease that he never examines every so often whenever he sees Henry with a train
Percy the Small Engine - "Quack quack quack!" and trying to bully Duck (lol. lmao, even) -> Percy is gonna move away :(
Main Line Engines - getting on his high horse about "Branch Line Diesels" and then getting into a huge spat with Edward that results a brand-new beat-down of a dead horse named "Edward is Weak and Useless" -> We learn in "Wrong Road" that his fireman is new. Presumably his old fireman advanced to fill the role, leaving the vacancy... which means that Gordon recently lost his old driver to retirement.
You might be thinking "well yeah, stressors are stressful, most people's outbreaks of bad behavior have to do with some sort of Big Life Thing" - I certainly thought so, for a mo'. But this isn't true of the other major characters? James's worst behavior in the Wilbert books comes when he is slightly delayed sometimes during his work day and when Toby just, erm… exists. Thomas's worst behavior is because he… doesn't like his snowplough, and has a careless cleaner.
No, only Gordon's poor behavior can so consistently be linked to big changes. Indeed, not many RWS characters have been seen with quite as much of an interior life as we learn Gordon has in "Tenders for Henry." By that point, Gordon has matured enough that he doesn't express his feelings in this emotionally-stupid make-it-everyone's-problem sort of way. But we can see clearly that the end of steam seems to affect him more deeply than anyone else at Tidmouth.
So yeah, I think there's something real and insightful in the above pattern. Once again, my friends - Galloping Sausage with Feelings.
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mojavemoproblems · 3 days ago
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I assume you don't know much about North Korea/it's history/the Korean war so,
First, the ONLY thing Kim Jong Un (the entire Kim dynasty actually) cares about is keeping the family in power. Cruelty is just a byproduct. It's more accurate to say he doesn't care about it. Because the cruelty keeps the people in line. That's it. The country remains isolationist because the family would be quickly ousted if any sort of power was given to the people. As long as the rich/powerful are okay, that's all that matters because the Kim dynasty still has power. They don't care about the people. That's literally it!
Second, are you really asking why NORTH KOREA isn't allying with the US of all people? I know this post is mostly to shit on the US (for good reason) but asking that doesn't make sense at all. A better empire to use would be Russia, which they already have done. Russia is the reason North Korea exists. There are north Korean soldiers fighting for Russia in Ukraine right NOW. Like, the DPRK is already doing dirty work for another imperialist monster. This is spurred by North Korea's hatred for the west.
Hence why asking why the DPRK doesn't ally with the US doesn't make much sense lol. The entire basis of North Korea's political ideology is hatred of the US specifically. I'd hope you know at least a LITTLE about the Korean war and what happened afterwards before asking this, but basically the US slaughtered millions of North Koreans to push them back after NK invaded South Korea. They flattened Pyongyang.
THAT is what brought Kim Il Sung (the first dictator) into power. The rage, the embarrassment, the hatred of the US was extreme. I can't express that enough. Korea had JUST escaped Japanese imperialism, decades of slavery and cultural obliteration, then they immediately get mowed down by another imperial power.
The dictatorship, the new country, everything was built off hatred and embarrassment and self preservation. (Also Communism, Sung was basically sponsored by Lenin) Kim Il Sung was able to take his people's fears and use it to mold them, and when he realized he could make himself more powerful, he doubled down. When Lenin died he used it as a fear tactic against the US.
This has been passed down to his son and his grandson, that fear within their OWN people of the US is all that matters. Sure, Kim Jong Un is obviously only about preserving the dynasty, but I'm almost positive the absolute HATRED of the US is deep in him too, just like his people because of the foundation the Republic was built on
TLDR Koreans were taken advantage of for centuries by imperialistic powers, their hatred for the US is the entire foundation of the COUNTRY. they will never be allies because a.) it'd take the Kims out of power b.) it'd shatter the entire country and everything they believed in. Everything would be a lie
The thing is that if Kim Jong Un really was a total dictator who cared only about power and cruelty, it would be so much easier for him to ally with the US and be just like the Gulf monarchs or Pol Pot or one of the other million of criminals on Washington’s payroll. Recent wars have demonstrated very blatantly that US puppet leader is a great job for someone whose primary passions are killing babies and threatening their neighbors with nukes. For heads of state looking to sell out their people, Washington is the top buyer.
Literally what is there to be gained from the DPRK’s “isolationist” policies other than the security of its people?!
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lemotmo · 2 days ago
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Yeah let's not do this for 3 months people. He's not leaving! We're at the beginning of Buddie!!!
Q. I'm so confused by all the excitement, and I admit that I struggle with facial awareness, but all we got was Eddie saying he's leaving so that feels way more like a Ryan exit than a beginning to Buddie. What did I miss?
A. Okay I'm going to say this once, and only once. We are not spending 3 months on a nonstarter spiral. Ryan is not leaving. It's not an exit story. It's the beginning of a feelings realization story, only Eddie hasn't quite arrived at the starting point for his part yet. Lots of people struggle with facial cues, anon, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not an exit storyline. It's drama set up to kick start Buck's spiral and to bring Christopher home. That's why I loved that they had Buck on the couch and Eddie in the kitchen. The couch has kind of always been used to symbolize a romantic relationship between Buck and Eddie, both of them being home when they're on that couch, so putting Buck on the couch in that scene basically puts Buck in position. Buck has arrived at the start of his realization arc. The box has been opened (the box being his long unexamined feelings for Eddie) and he won't be able to put the lid back on it this time. The moment we see Buck have at the end of the episode was not his 'oh Eddie's my person' moment but it was the start of Buck's journey to that realization. Buck was devastated in that moment, but for the sake of Eddie, he attempted to fake enthusiasm. Eddie being happy means more to Buck than his fear of being left behind, again. But that fear will come out when the season returns in March. Tim basically confirmed that Buck will spiral and he will throw himself into a distraction to try and block his pain. That distraction will inevitably fail, as Tim also already spoiled (they learned their Tommy lesson and they won't be repeating it), and that will force Buck to once and for all have to confront and figure out why the thought of losing Eddie sends him spiraling. The end of the episode was the beginning of Buck's journey.
Eddie hasn't reached his starting point, yet. But having him in the kitchen, the other big Buddie room, was a way to show that he is close. Framing the shot the way they did, Eddie having a straight line of sight to Buck on the couch, was intentional. Eddie is close but he's not there yet. He's distracted by the whole Christopher thing, as he should be. Eddie won't be able to arrive at his starting point until he gets the Christopher situation settled. That entire scene was LOUD. Buck letting himself in using his key. Eddie not being able to look at Buck when talking about moving. The flirty way Buck asked what he was watching on the iPad, fully believing it was porn. And again the way the entire scene was framed and shot. The close up of Eddie's face when he realizes he's not alone in this moment and that he does have someone in his corner. Then the close up of Buck's face when he allows the mask of enthusiasm to slip and we see the real sadness that he is feeling. It was very clearly the beginning of their storyline. It was in no way shaped, framed or written as the beginning of an exit storyline. It's happening, anon. Let yourself enjoy the build up 💗
Thank you Nonny! Much appreciated!
YES to all that Ali talked about here! Let's be happy you guys. We are finally here after 7 very long years of ups and many downs. This is the first time we've actually gotten real confirmation that the Buddie slow burn is on!
Let's enjoy this break before the show comes back, because I anticipate a lot of drama in 8b. And once the show is back on? Let's just sit back, relax and watch Buddie's story unfold. It'll be glorious!
Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.
Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.
If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.
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comfortingevanbuckley · 2 days ago
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So everyone knows, I am 100% a Buck girl and I will always do my best to be levelheaded when it comes to him. The problem is even when I do that, because of the writing on the show, it is difficult to parse between what I think is actually being done versus how things are looking on screen. And I genuinely am wondering exactly what they are doing and if I am even looking in the right direction.
But let's say they are for whatever reason doing a similar thing they did in 5A with some storylines, like Eddie potentially leaving, Buck dealing with relationship issues, etc. Now, to be honest, I do not like the idea of this kind of parallel mainly because the way I've seen it used is as some sort of gotcha about whether or not a certain ship is happening. So this isn't going to be about that, it's going to be about Buck.
What I think Buck might be doing is he is overcorrecting and thinking that since this relationship is another one that has come to an end, that he shouldn't fight for it. He doesn't realize yet that he can because in his mind, if Tommy doesn't want him, then he shouldn't chase him. The only issue with my line of thinking is are the writers showing this? And if they are, are they doing it right?
I don't particularly think the dialogue is helping. At all. I thought it was cute at first to describe him wanting to call Tommy as craving him, but the more you use the words to describe it as an addiction, the more unhealthy it sounds. So if they are actually saying that Buck is trying to do anything except cling to a relationship he thinks he can't have, why are they saying it that way? Is that what they actually mean?
If Buck is trying not to cling to relationships anymore, then it would be an interesting journey to see him on in 8B. Because I think if he were to try to actually call Tommy while his sister is missing, Eddie is potentially moving, then he wouldn't be calling him for the right reasons. He would be clinging and I don't think he wants to do that. Or so he thinks he is doing when in reality, he just wants his partner to be there for him.
So if he does end up having a brief fling (paralleling Lucy but hey at least he's not cheating on anyone) and realizes that no, this isn't what he wants, he wants Tommy. I could see it eventually being good growth for him to see that just because his life might be a wreck, it doesn't mean at least talking to Tommy means he is trying to cling to something that doesn't work. Because it did work, the communication was just off kilter.
Idk these are just my thoughts on if they are paralleling s5 a little bit, maybe that's what is happening. But at the same time, I would prefer they do something better for all of the characters, especially Buck. Because after eight seasons, the cycle needs to stop. Just let him be happy.
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paceprompting · 2 days ago
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the sigil
written for ‘"And the truth?"’ wc: 500 # | merlin x arthur pendragon | rated: g | cw: non archive warnings apply | tags: pre-relationship, admission of feelings (sort of), banter, based on 4x01 deleted scene
@merlinmicrofic
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Merlin knew what the sigil meant.  
He hadn’t told Arthur. Well, truly, he hadn’t quite realized over the fact that Arthur had just handed over a noble sigil to Merlin like he actually meant something more than a manservant.
Then it hit.
The sigil was his mother’s.
And practically a marriage proposal.
Merlin hadn’t said a word after Arthur had handed it over to him, running his bare thumbs over the metal. He stared at it, the campfire’s flames crackling in the silence. Arthur waited beside him, but with Merlin’s silence, he gave a solemn nod and walked away.
He hadn’t told Arthur he knew what it was, and now he’d taken it as a refusal. Ridiculous prat.
“Arthur, wait.”
He’d stopped, from the sounds of his boots scuffing the dirt and leaves. Merlin swallowed hard, still staring at the sigil.
“Why did you give this to me?” he asked, voice carrying into the flames.
This time, Arthur was the one who went quiet.
After his whole speech, and for all his talk about taking the noble path with his own sacrifice—Arthur couldn’t say a single word about the one decision that would change the course of both their lives. Of the kingdom.
Merlin had proven his devotion to Arthur since the day they’d met, as much as the prat hadn’t deserved it then. And Arthur wasn’t the same selfish, hard-headed prince that he’d been, but old habits didn’t disappear overnight.
They were both stubborn.
But Merlin hadn’t put his heart into Arthur’s hand.
There was a soft clink of Arthur’s armor as he shifted, and he answered, “Because you’re a good friend.”
He turned away from the fire toward Arthur, mouth set into a thin line, jaw tightened.
“And the truth?”
Arthur crossed his arms over his chest and lowered his chin to avoid Merlin’s gaze.
“Arthur.”
“Because, of anyone, you should have it,” Arthur snapped, eyes blazing as they reflected the firelight at Merlin. His glanced at the sigil, voice quieting. “I want you to take it. Please.”
Merlin tightened his hand around the circular sigil. “And if we live, after this?”
After a monster that was more likely to kill them both by the morning.
“The question will still stand,” Arthur said. Resolute. No room for maneuvering.
Merlin was adept at making room.
“What question?” he asked slyly, rising to his feet. “You haven’t asked me anything.”
The sigil had been the question, they both knew that. But where nobles spoke in metaphoric gestures and symbolic courting, Merlin had still been a commoner longer than a manservant. And if Arthur wanted him, they’d have to meet somewhere in the middle.
“Merlin,” Arthur sighed, biting his lip as Merlin strode toward him.
He stopped when Arthur’s breath caught, a hairsbreadth between them. He raised the sigil in his hand, holding it between them.
Arthur glanced at it, and then to Merlin. He leaned forward, almost as though he might…well. But he didn’t. He waited.
“Ask me,” Merlin said.
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casino-lights · 3 days ago
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so. the thing about Illario and Lucanis.
I don't have the screenshots but somewhere in Lucanis' mind, you hear Illario's voice saying "If I was in charge, you wouldn't have to do this anymore." as far as I can tell, all the other lines in his memories are from the game, but this one is from The Wigmaker Job. the story that took place over a year (probably more) prior to the events of the game. it's referring to a scene where Lucanis comes back from their contract, injured, and Illario, worried about his cousin, says that Lucanis wouldn't have to do Caterina's bidding anymore if Illario was First Talon. so now we know Lucanis still thinks about that conversation, even though it happened so long ago.
two other things about The Wigmaker Job: 1) Illario is a lot different in it and in some ways he seems more competent than the Illario we get in veilguard; and 2) we see Zara Renata at the end, and she already has Lucanis in her sights. depending on how much time passed between that contract and Lucanis' kidnapping, she could've been setting this up for months to years.
in the concept art/storyboard frames that were recently released, Zara is hardcore giving siren in the first image and it almost looks like she's straight up controlling Illario via blood magic in the second (imo)
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now imagine if Zara was looking into Lucanis, started with the people closest to him, found Illario, and said all the right things. imagine she said he should be First Talon, Caterina never loved him, Lucanis doesn't believe in him and is secretly just tolerating him, he can save Antiva from the Antaam (or whoever else), he can lead the Crows to their long-awaited unification and make them even stronger, he's the smartest prettiest most super special boy in the whole wide world, etc. (if you give this man an ounce of praise and he actually believes it, he will crumble, I know it.)
now imagine Zara, having successfully sunk her claws into Illario - Lucanis Dellamorte's cousin, the only person closer to the Demon of Vyrantium than the First Talon herself - manages to convince him to let her kill Lucanis. he doesn't have to do it himself so there's less guilt. there's no way Caterina would make him First Talon if Lucanis was alive. and then Illario would be in a position to protect his beloved Antiva because if there's one thing the Antivan Crows are, it's patriots. I think Zara played Illario like a fucking fiddle and the game was just really bad at showing us that. I think when her spirit says "he fooled us both," she means he fooled her by being less of a coward than she thought and straight up killing her.
and maybe this is the Illario apologist in me, but I also think he realized the whole thing was a doomed plan after he was defeated. I mean, he shows up to the final battle to help, at risk of his own life. maybe he's trying to atone, maybe not, but still - he is there, and he sounds more like the Illario we see in The Wigmaker Job than whatever we got through the rest of the game. with his quippy little "was that suitably self-important?" line, he's closer to himself than he was this whole time, and that makes me wonder if maybe he wasn't fully Illario. maybe that was grief and guilt and a shaky sense of self and Zara's manipulation and the feeling of losing his grip on the power he never quite had to begin with, all bundled up into a new, bitter, resentful man. I think he was used like a pawn in Zara's chess game, and that doesn't take away from his agency in this situation or lessen the blow of his betrayal, but it does make it easier for me to swallow the fact that the Obvious Traitor Illario I was immediately skeptical of in-game is not the Illario I immediately loved after one scene in Tevinter Nights where he shaves a single hair because it was uneven with the rest of his five o clock shadow.
I think ultimately, Illario realized Lucanis would forgive him anyway. I think it's because he realized he would forgive Lucanis too.
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crobones · 3 days ago
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I know Evan's love is toxic. He loves his friends so much that, when they divulge how bad they're feeling - about themselves, about the world around them, about whatever situation they're all stuck in - as opposed to processing these feelings and moving through them to learn and grow, he's like "Nope! Nonstarter, you're amazing and we all love you."
He mentioned it on day one. "There's nothing pleasant in rest." It is a survival tactic. Self-preservation in never staying in one place too long.
But the thing about processing emotions fully is you have to kind of just... sit in it. You need to acknowledge how you feel, understand that dealing with it cannot be avoided or rushed, and take a second to just... stew in it. You can't speedrun every issue in life. And you can't mentslly look at a feeling, point at it, name it, put it to the side, and move on. That's just sweeping the mess under the rug instead of actually cleaning it up.
He's getting close to actually learning how to process emotions, and you can see that when he talks to Sam. But he experienced feeling good all of one time, and decided he never wanted to feel any of his previous sadness ever again. It's an unfortunate trauma response - you tell a person some shit that happened to you and expect them to compartmentalize it just like you did. "Yeah, I got stabbed, but it's fine. Don't worry about it."
It's K's conversation with Tabby about Evan. But, unfortunately, K saw this behaviour in Evan and decided they could fix it for him. But now they realize that that isn't feasible. You can't clean a person's house for them - it's their personal and intimate space and you don't know where everything goes and what's more important to them. Not to mention, it takes away their agency. They dint get to learn how to deal with shit if you just fix it for them.
That's what Evan's doing. Tape shapes aside, he doesn't clean the emotional bullshit, he dumps it all into boxes, throws label on it, and puts it nearly on the pile of a thousand other boxes.
And when Jammer, or Sam, or K gets personal and lets him into their house, well. He wants to be useful. He's looking at the mess, thinks it's a non-issue, throws it in a box for them, and starts a pile. But, they shouldn't worry, he can listen to them describe what the mess is, and he'll put a label on the box for them.
Am I making sense? All of this is dismissive asshole behaviour, but they all know it's well intentioned. They do love each other. The first time he experienced a positive interpersonal interaction, he didn't want to give it up.
Now that they're back, he knows the adventure will come to an end, and that terrifies him. But he's been so task-oriented all his life, any time there's emotions to deal with, he boxes it and puts it aside.
I NEED HIM TO TURN HEEL. IF HE WANTS THE ADVENTURE TO GO ON FOREVER, I'M SURE HE COULD EASILY BECOME THE BAD GUY THEY NEED TO STICK AROUND; TO KEEP THE JOURNEY GOING. BREAK THAT FUCKING WELL, EVAN. NO HESITATION, NO EASING THE WORLD INTO IT - SMASH IT TO BITS ON SIGHT. SUBMIT THE WORLD TO CHAOS.
And what has Sam done every time? She's talked some fucking sense into them. And, well. She's already got a direct line to Evan's most intimate self. They've been in each other's head, they've had their souls entwined with one another. He sees her as the best wizard in the world. What better way to stop Evan from diving head first into the role he's always been afraid of becoming, than making him come to heel and to get his shit together?
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 13 hours ago
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Could you do the Diamond sisters spilling Cater’s embarrassing childhood stories to his friends (either the other Heartslabyuls or the Pop Music Club)? I like to imagine the first thing they would do is wreak havoc on Cater’s carefully crafted persona, intentional or not.
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Decided to combine these all and do headcanons instead of an interaction due to the high number of characters (Heartslabyul + Lilia and Kalim, Cater's clubmates)!
Please note that we don't know exactly how old Cater's sisters are, but here I'm headcanoning them as being only a few years older than Cater.
Curiouser and Curiouser...
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Oh, the Diamond sisters LOVE Riddle. They hang all over him and squeal about how cute he is, much to his dismay.
He clears his throat several times and tries to remind them that he is not a boy, he is a young man, and he would appreciate it if they treated him as such. It’s a useless effort anyway—his words fall on deaf ears.
The Diamond sisters love it even more when he gets all red in the face. “Aw, he’s like a little strawberry,” they gush, not realizing that Riddle is this close to snapping and flying into a rage-filled frenzy. (His dorm members marvel at him actually exercising his limited patience; they placed bets with one another to see how long Riddle's temper can hold out for.)
He doesn’t much care for hearing stories from the Diamonds, finding them very frivolous. What’s with this family’s obsession with aesthetics? Riddle wonders. Why don’t they dedicate their time to more worthwhile pursuits like academics? And yet… why does his chest thud with a dull pain when he thinks about Cater in a large, empty house, packing up his life away into cardboard boxes?
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The Diamond sisters are all over Trey too—but for completely different reasons than they were with Riddle. They drone on and on about how Trey is “husband material” and needlessly feel up his (beefy) arms, cooing and fluttering their lashes at him.
Trey awkwardly laughs off their jokes and shies away from their touch as politely as he can, making it clear he isn’t interested. He tries to deflect by changing the subject or offering tea and cakes and, if worse comes to worse, asks Cater for a save. (… Unfortunately, this makes the Diamond sisters think he’s playing “hard to get”.)
Trey actually likes hearing stories about Cater’s childhood; clearly, Cater won’t be this open with others himself, so getting this lore from his sisters is Trey’s second best option. Back then, Cater seemed so real and so vulnerable. Mask entirely off. Trey only wishes that Cater could be this unguarded with him in present day.
He has to admit, it’s amusing how flustered Cater gets trying to act unfazed or to play off his most embarrassing moments. Little by little, Trey feels as though the Diamond sisters are whittling away at his peer’s facade. He can’t help but be a little mean about it, taking this opportunity to join the Diamond sisters in teasing Cater. “So that’s what you were like, huh…”
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He thinks he’s hot stuff, he could toootally bag Cater’s sisters—just watch him! … And so Ace slicks back his hair and tries his darndest to flirt with them, but to no avail. (The mob students make fun of him for having no rizz, but he defends himself by going, “L-Like you guys could do any better!!”) Man, he’s so jealous of Trey! How come he’s such a chick magnet even though he’s not even actively trying?!
The Diamond sisters wrinkle their noses at him and whisper to one another about how Ace is sooo annoying and cringefail. Think like… mean girls gossiping about you to your face. Real blow to Ace’s ego here.
Though the flirting doesn’t work out, Ace did initially manage to dazzle the girls with a few of his card tricks. The Diamond sisters clap their hands and demand that he “do it again” or tell them how the trick is done. He’d just cheekily wink and say, “Sorry, ladies! I never give away my secrets.”
There’s tea about Cater-senpai’s childhood? Ace is one of the first in line to hear about it!! He’ll memorize the stories and reenact them (including a falsetto voice for young Cater) for the entire dorm later, earning him Cater’s ire. “Ne, Ace-chan~ Don’t you think you’re bullying poor old Cay-kun too hard?”
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As the man of the household, Deuce is usually helping out his mom or the other older ladies in the neighborhood, so he thinks it’s only appropriate to maintain that formal, upright behavior when addressing Cater’s sisters! This leads to Deuce calling both of them “ma’am” very loudly, which attracts stares from everyone 💀
The Diamond sisters wail about the whole “ma’am” thing. Like, just what is Deuce insinuating about their ages?! Do they look that old to him?! Is he saying he think they’re hags?! He hurriedly assures them he doesn’t mean anything by it, it’s meant to be respectful (but in the process, he accidentally calls them “ma’am” again and reignites their shrieking).
Appalled by Ace's attempts to flirt with the Diamond sisters, insisting that Ace should "be more of a gentleman, like Clover-senpai!" (He's dense and not fully aware of how uncomfortable Trey is with the circumstances.)
Deuce profusely apologizes to Cater for “hearing something he shouldn’t have” (ie his embarrassing childhood stories). He promises that he’ll act like he didn’t hear anything at all! He wears it on his life!! (This doesn't reassure Cater in the slightest. "Eeeeh, the more Deuce-chan says it, the more concerned I get!")
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If there's one thing the Diamond sisters love as much as cute things, it's clout! They fawn over Kalim--well, more specifically, his family's wealth and status. (Some might even call it ass kissing.) Kalim's pretty oblivious to it, though. He thinks Cater's sisters are just being friendly with him, so he's friendly right back to them!
The Diamond sisters start to chatter about all these luxurious items they've been ogling. Designer shoes, haute couture dresses, jewelry heavy with gemstones... Kalim very nearly indulges the Diamond sisters by offering to buy those things for them (as "gifts to commemorate their new friendship"), but Cater cuts in to stop him!! "K-Kalim-kun, put away your wallet! The last thing I need right now is Jamil-kun after my neck!"
Kalim's just as bad as the Diamond sisters when it comes to spilling the beans on Cater. While the Diamond sisters yammer on about little baby Cater's missteps, Kalim tells them about the dumb stuff he and Cater get up to in club! They take turns trading stories and dunking on the poor guy...
But the difference between the Diamond sisters and Kalim? Kalim actually puts a positive spin on many of his tales. No matter how bad a show goes or how big the screw up... "All that matters is that we were in it together and had fun doing it. Cater's great at coming up with creative ideas. It makes me really happy to be able to call him my friend and band mate!"
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The complete opposite of Riddle. Lilia adores being told he's cute. In fact, he encourages the Diamond sisters to "keep the compliments coming", because adorable things should be seen and adored! (Riddle huffs; Lilia is so shameless about all of this, especially as an upperclassman!)
He gets super into talking with the Diamond sisters about fashion, hair, and even nail polish colors. Lilia mentions some of his favorite and goes on a long spiel about how fashion trends have evolved over the years, and even gets into giving tips and tricks to the Diamonds. Cater's impressed with how smoothly Lilia's handling his sisters!
Lilia listens attentively as the Diamond sisters share their best (worst) stories about little Cater. He coos and chuckles at how cute Cater was "as a wee lad" and pitches in with stories about his own child, phrasing it as though Silver was someone he babysat frequently rather than his own son to avoid confusing the sisters. They murmur approvingly--not only is Lilia inventive and fashion-forward, but he's also great with children!
The Diamond sisters decide that Lilia is their new bestie and exchange numbers with him. He later lets his online buddy, Gloomurai, know about how he got the numbers of two hot women, which Gloomurai pops off about. "gg man ur rizz is INSANE." (Idia can't believe that a single father like Crimson Muscle still has mad game like this!)
BONUS: Some of the Diamond sisters' stories!
(P.S. If you like Cater + Cinderella stuff, you should check out this Cinderella retelling featuring Twst characters ;9)
Apparently, Cater used to talk to the rats and birds before he got a phone (not that he understood them at that age). After moving around so much as a kid, it became difficult for him to make friends with the local children so he'd practice his personas on the vermin in the community.
Once, they were playing dress-up together using their mother's wardrobe and makeup drawer... but they started fighting over some things that Cater was wearing, and his sisters ended up tearing the dress they wanted into rags, as well as snapping many pieces of jewelry. Everyone got scolded and punished that day, even little Cater, who hadn't done anything wrong.
He didn't like lentils as a kid so he'd pretend to trip and fall, spilling them into the ashes in the fireplace. Cater would have to pick all of them out by hand, but the chore was honestly preferable to eating them.
They used to play a game where they'd try to balance various stuff on their heads while walking. Normally it was various numbers of books--seeing who could stack the most--but once Cater tried a tray with a teapot and cups on it. That... didn't go so well.
Cater liked to pretend he was a celebrity! He'd bounce around singing with his hairbrush as a microphone or act like he was MCing for a ball. He would sing a lot as he scrubbed the floors too, popping soap bubbles as he did so.
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faithshouseofchaos · 2 days ago
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Leaving it all behind blurb — A day at the garage — Max verstappen x reader
Word count— 550
Fluff
The sound of clinking metal and the faint scent of oil filled Max’s garage, a small, rustic space he’d claimed as his own in the past year. The walls were lined with tools he’d carefully organized, old car parts stacked on shelves, and a few posters of vintage cars. It wasn’t much compared to the opulence of his father’s world, but to Max, it was everything. It was freedom, and it was his.
He wiped his hands on a rag, leaning under the hood of an old Chevrolet that had seen better days. With a practiced ease, he twisted a wrench, humming to himself as he worked. It was a rhythm he found himself settling into more easily than he’d ever expected, and he realized he’d come to love the slow, deliberate pace of life here.
The bell above the door jingled, and Max looked up to see a familiar face—an older man from town named Harry, with a bit of a limp and a smile that always seemed to hold a story. Harry had become one of Max’s regulars, always in for a tune-up or a quick fix.
“Hey, Max!” Harry greeted, ambling over to lean on the car next to him. “How’s that beauty lookin’? You work wonders on these old things.”
Max grinned, giving the car a pat. “She’s got a few more miles in her, I’d say. Should run like new once I’m done.”
Harry nodded, watching Max work. “You know, I don’t know much about your life before this, but I’ll tell ya, you’re good with these cars. Got a steady hand and a patience that’s hard to come by.”
Max chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Guess I just enjoy the work. It’s honest, you know?” He looked at Harry with a sincerity that surprised him. “Feels like I’m building something. Fixing things that actually stay fixed.”
Harry gave a knowing nod, his eyes twinkling. “It’s a good way to live, son. Lotta men your age don’t figure that out till much later.”
Just then, Max’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he saw a text from Y/N. Lunch in an hour? We miss you.
A small smile tugged at his lips as he quickly typed back, Wouldn’t miss it.
Harry noticed the look on his face and chuckled. “Family man too, huh? Good to see.”
Max’s gaze softened. “Yeah… I never thought I’d get to be, but here we are.”
A few moments later, after Harry left, a younger customer came in—someone from the local college with an old Jeep that needed serious work. Max leaned in to explain the issues, patiently guiding the kid through options for repairs that didn’t involve duct tape. It was these small interactions he’d come to appreciate—the sense of being part of the town, the quiet trust he’d earned over time.
As the day wore on and he continued working, Max felt the satisfaction of doing something real. In every car he fixed, every handshake, every smile he earned, he felt a little more of the weight of his past lift away. Here, in this small garage, surrounded by tools and grease-stained walls, he was just Max—the man who fixed cars and went home to a family who loved him. And, for the first time, that was all he needed.
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magical-reid · 13 hours ago
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The Rings We Keep Part 2
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!FBI!Reader
Genre: fluff
Content warnings: none
Word count: 2.2K
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Part 1
Two months had passed since the case ended, your team was spending more and more time assisting the BAU with their cases, and you were still adjusting to being known as Mrs. Reid. The BAU’s teasing had mostly subsided, but Penelope couldn’t help herself, sending you daily texts with variations of “How’s married life treating you, sugarplum?”
Spencer, of course, was blissfully oblivious to half the jokes. You envied his ability to compartmentalize. For you, the line between personal and professional felt increasingly blurred—especially when you came home to find him sitting on your couch, flipping through one of your dog-eared mystery novels like he belonged there.
“Hey,” you greeted, setting your go-bag on the floor.
“Hey,” he replied without looking up. “Your landlord called earlier. The leak in your bathroom should be fixed tomorrow.”
You blinked, caught off guard. “Uh, thanks?”
Spencer finally glanced up, his expression innocent. “It’s easier if they call me. You don’t always answer your phone.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Easier, huh?”
He shrugged. “Legally, I’m your emergency contact. Makes sense.”
Your chest tightened a mix of irritation and something warmer that you weren’t ready to name. Spencer had a way of making the most unconventional things seem logical—like casually fixing your plumbing situation as if it were just another bullet point on his to-do list.
You crossed the room, plopping onto the couch beside him. “You know this is weird, right?”
“What is?”
“This,” you gestured between the two of you. “Being married but… not married.”
Spencer tilted his head, considering your words. “It’s unconventional, sure. But it’s not weird. We work well together.”
“That’s not exactly the foundation of a marriage,” you pointed out, though your tone lacked bite. “Shouldn’t we—I don’t know—try to figure out what this actually is?”
Spencer’s brow furrowed. “You mean, like dating?”
The word hung in the air between you, heavy and full of possibility.
“Maybe,” you said, feeling your cheeks warm. “I mean, it might help. Get to know each other outside of work. Outside of… whatever this is.”
Spencer nodded slowly, his gaze thoughtful. “That’s logical. We could schedule something.”
“Schedule?” You laughed, the sound half nervous, half amused. “Spence, you don’t schedule a date. You just… go.”
His lips quirked in a small, sheepish smile. “Right. Of course.”
The First Date
Three days later, you found yourself sitting across from Spencer at a cozy little café near the library. He’d insisted on picking the place, and you hadn’t protested—it was quiet, intimate, and felt like him.
“I, um, wasn’t sure what you liked, so I ordered a variety,” Spencer said, gesturing to the spread of pastries between you. “There’s a 73% chance one of these is your favorite.”
You bit back a smile, reaching for a chocolate croissant. “Good guess.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly, and you realized he’d been nervous—an unusual look for someone so confident in every other aspect of his life.
“So,” you began, tearing off a piece of croissant. “Do we talk about work, or is that off-limits?”
Spencer shook his head. “It’s not off-limits, but we could talk about other things. Like… hobbies.”
“Hobbies,” you repeated, amused. “You mean like your extensive knowledge of obscure trivia?”
“Or your knack for solving puzzles,” he countered, a rare teasing tone in his voice.
You laughed, the sound drawing a faint smile from him. For the first time, the awkwardness began to fade, replaced by something warmer—something that felt almost like normalcy.
Navigating New Territory
Over the next few weeks, your dynamic shifted in subtle but undeniable ways. Spencer started leaving his favorite books on your nightstand, claiming they were “better than the ones you usually read.” You, in turn, introduced him to your guilty pleasure TV shows, relishing the way he tried (and failed) to resist getting invested in the drama.
But it wasn’t all smooth sailing.
One evening, as you cooked dinner together—a rare occurrence, considering your busy schedules—Spencer reached for the salt just as you turned to grab a spoon. The collision was minor, but it left you both frozen, faces inches apart.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, stepping back quickly.
Spencer’s cheeks flushed. “No, it was my fault.”
The silence that followed was thick with unspoken tension. You busied yourself stirring the sauce, your mind racing. Was this what it felt like to be in a real marriage? The constant push and pull of closeness and uncertainty?
“I’ve been reading about communication in relationships,” Spencer said suddenly, his voice breaking the silence.
You raised an eyebrow. “Of course you have.”
“It says physical proximity is important,” he continued, his tone serious. “Small gestures, like holding hands, can build intimacy.”
You stared at him, torn between exasperation and affection. “Spence, are you saying we should hold hands more?”
He nodded, his expression earnest. “It might help.”
You sighed, setting down the spoon. “Alright. Let’s try it.”
Tentatively, you reached for his hand, lacing your fingers together. His skin was warm, his grip firm but careful.
“How’s this?” you asked, half-joking.
Spencer’s gaze met yours, and for a moment, the world seemed to narrow to just the two of you.
“Good,” he said softly. “It’s… good.”
A Step Forward
One night, after a particularly grueling case, you found yourself leaning against Spencer on the couch, too tired to care about boundaries. His arm was draped around your shoulders, and you realized with a start that it felt… nice. Comforting.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice low.
“Yeah,” you murmured, closing your eyes. “Just tired.”
He didn’t move, didn’t press for more. Instead, he simply held you, his presence steady and reassuring.
In that moment, you realized something had shifted—not just between you, but within you. This wasn’t just a marriage of convenience anymore. It was becoming something real, something worth fighting for.
And as you drifted off to sleep, Spencer’s voice echoed softly in your mind.
“I’ve got you.”
You believed him.
The Unspoken Shift
It was late one night when the shift finally happened when everything you and Spencer had been tiptoeing around finally came to a head. The case had been grueling—intense, dangerous—but in the end, the team had solved it. The adrenaline had faded, leaving an unfamiliar silence in its wake.
You were sitting on the couch in your small apartment, your mind still racing from the day’s events. You’d barely had time to think about anything beyond work in the past few weeks, but now, with the threat neutralized, everything came rushing back.
Spencer, on the other hand, seemed completely unaffected by the chaos. He was curled up in the armchair across from you, his laptop open in front of him, but his eyes weren’t on the screen. He kept glancing over at you, his face unreadable, as if there was something he wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it.
It was in moments like this that you found yourself wondering what this was between you—this odd marriage of convenience that had slowly morphed into something you couldn’t quite define.
We work well together, Spencer had said once, so casually that it hadn’t quite clicked at the time. Now, though, as you caught him looking at you again—this time with a sort of tenderness that made your heart skip a beat—you wondered if he meant more than just work.
You shifted on the couch, trying to distract yourself. You couldn’t allow yourself to think too deeply, not with everything that was still unresolved. But Spencer’s voice cut through the silence.
"Y/N, I... I think I need to apologize."
You froze, unsure if you had heard him correctly. "Apologize? For what?"
He hesitated, his fingers hovering over the keys of his laptop, but he didn’t look at the screen. Instead, his gaze lingered on you, serious and a little vulnerable. "For... for how distant I’ve been. I know I’ve been focused on the cases and... well, on myself too much." His lips tightened, as if he regretted the words before they even left his mouth. "I’ve been pushing you away without even realizing it. And I’m sorry."
You blinked, taken aback by his honesty. Spencer was never one to admit when he was wrong. He was always so logical, so composed. But tonight, something was different. There was a rawness in his voice that made your chest tighten, and you realized with a jolt that maybe you had been pushing him away too.
"You haven’t been distant, Spence," you said softly. "You’ve just been... you." The words felt heavier than you intended, but it was the truth. Spencer had always been focused, and driven, and even when he was there, he seemed so far away, locked in his own world.
"I know," he said, his voice low. "But that’s not an excuse. I—I should have been there more for you. You’ve been doing this alone, and that’s not fair."
You stared at him, processing what he had just said. Spencer Reid, always so sure of his intelligence and his work, was admitting—without words—that he wasn’t sure how to be a partner in this unconventional marriage. And as much as you wanted to brush it off, you couldn’t. You had been struggling with the same doubts.
“I didn’t ask for any of this,” you said quietly, motioning between the two of you. “This whole… marriage thing. It’s not what I expected, either. But that doesn’t mean I’m not trying.”
Spencer’s eyes softened, his expression vulnerable in a way you’d never seen before. “I know you are,” he said. “And that’s why I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t know what this is, but... I don’t want to lose it.”
There was a long pause as you both let the words settle. You felt the weight of everything that had been building up—the awkward moments, the shared glances, the near-kisses that you’d both avoided. But in that moment, you realized something: you didn’t want to keep avoiding it.
“I don’t want to lose it either,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Spencer inhaled deeply, his hand moving hesitantly toward yours. When his fingers brushed against yours, your pulse quickened. The touch was gentle, uncertain—but it felt like a promise, one you hadn’t even realized you were waiting for. The space between you seemed to shrink as if the universe itself was holding its breath.
"I think I—" Spencer started, but the words hung in the air, unspoken, because neither of you could say them aloud just yet. Instead, you reached for him.
You moved slowly, carefully, but when your lips met his, it wasn’t cautious. It wasn’t calculated. It was everything that had been building between you for the past two months. It was vulnerability and longing and the quiet admission that you couldn’t keep pretending anymore.
His lips were warm, soft, and he didn’t pull away, as if he was afraid you might disappear if he did. The kiss was tentative at first, but it deepened as you both leaned into it, the world around you fading until it was just the two of you. And for the first time in weeks, maybe months, you felt right. Not because the kiss had solved everything, but because in that moment, you finally felt seen.
When you pulled back, you rested your forehead against his, both of you breathing heavily. Spencer’s hands were still lightly touching your arms, as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them, but you didn’t want him to move. You didn’t want to break this moment of rawness between you.
“I... I’ve wanted that for a while,” Spencer said, his voice barely above a whisper.
You smiled, your heart racing. “I think I have too.”
For a moment, you simply stayed there, sitting together, breathing in the same air. You didn’t need to talk, didn’t need to say anything more. Everything had shifted, in a way that felt both terrifying and liberating at the same time.
You were no longer just coworkers. You weren’t just a married couple in name. In that kiss, you had taken the first step into something more. Something real.
And for the first time, you believed Spencer when he said he didn’t want to lose this.
The Quiet Moments After
The days after your first kiss were a mix of confusion and excitement. There was still tension between the work you did and the lives you were building together, but somehow it felt more manageable now. You and Spencer began finding ways to open up to each other—slowly, carefully, but with more and more honesty.
You would catch Spencer looking at you with that same soft expression as if he was still trying to figure out the person sitting beside him, but there was no hesitation anymore. No pulling away.
He didn’t say much, but his actions spoke volumes. Whether it was bringing you your favorite coffee when he knew you were having a rough day or simply sitting beside you on the couch, his presence had started to mean more. And with each passing moment, each new shared experience, you felt your connection deepening.
Maybe this wasn’t the marriage you had expected. But maybe, just maybe, it was the one you needed.
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kurishiri · 2 days ago
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Jude chapter 2 silly but kinda detailed summary
꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!
for some ungodly reason jude and ellis r in kates room the moment she woke up and judes not lookin very appy hes like how long r ya gon sleep for ya bloody pleb and ellis is like haaii gm kate 🌸✨✨ and then jude like “get ready in 3 seconds” while holdin her chin. again, for some reason lmao
ok turns out we goin to their other jobs at a company called raven co
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and ellis tells kate they got shops overseas too (wow jude got a boomin business) and they sell stuff in a lotta places and allat jazz. anw some dude greets kate and the others and thinks that kate is ellis gf. kates like umm no and hes like so ur the boss’ gf?
then he gets judes boot before kate can reply and judes like
Jude: It’s all yappin’ with ya so early in the mornin’, I see.
J: If ya gonna yap useless things, how ‘bout ya use that mouth o’ yours to do a bit more o’ your job?
J: If ya want a pay cut though, that’s a separate matter.
turns out the dudes name is theodore walker. 21 y/o. employee. first impression: bright dude
so kate asks ellis what his role is and hes like “hmm lets see, being a guard, preparing for guests, confirming clients, brewing up a storm…” and kate here thinkin wait a damn minute i have a feeling i heard smth real violent just now and then is like do you do anything else and well ellis responds with more violent words with a 😊 face. kate is like i thought i got myself into an evil org then jude comes in like
Jude: Well this evil company’s boss got some work cut out for ya.
she gotta sort out these letters (a loott of letters…) and judes like “if ya worked as a letter carrier ya mustve had to sort out letters before gettin breakfast”
ok so apparently judes kate just blurts out things w/o thinkin 💀 bc this time shes like well if hes gonna make fun of me (jude calls her princess but /neg) then challenge accepted! and then is like “ok bet i will get this done ez pz 🍋 squeezy” and judes got that shit eatin grin on his face like “that ya will do by the time i get back”
they r indeed still in their enemies era. her only saving grace now is ellis’ kind smile. ellis to the rescue! ⛓️🫶✨
omg ellis is actually an angel here he helps kate when he can sorting out letters and hes like gj today kate. you managed to do sm on ur own, u should be proud of urself and kate is like hes so kind… (yes he is!)
ah yes we cant escape the ellis is sweet as jam™️ allegations here
kate asks ellis why he joined crown and tldr its bc vic reached out to jude and jude said ok
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Kate: But did you have to get caught up in all this too…?
Ellis: But——he made a promise with me.
As he said this, Ellis’ eyes narrowed softly.
Kate: …A promise?
Ellis: I’m waiting for Jude to reach the happiest moment of his life.
E: And I need to be by his side to see that moment.
[ insert some lines im too lazy to tl here ]
Ellis: But, it seems that moment just doesn’t want to come. …It’s like Jude is always unhappy.
jude comes in the door like yall so damn annoyin and is like stop yappin bout she don’t need to know. but ellis is like but its her job as fairytale keeper. and kate is like “i have a question for u too jude! why do u have ellis by ur side?” jude responds like “none ya damn business” but one tinie push from ellis and jude lets out a resigned sigh and speaks on it and is like hes got physical strength and a good ability. cant let that sorta value slip by. that said his heads got some screws loose so
and kate is like omg! he answered me!!
(So Jude has Ellis by his side so he can use his abilities at his convenience,)
(and Ellis wants Jude to fulfill his wish, I guess?)
They kept one another by each other’s side to help realize what the other wants.
——If I were to put into words what their relationship would be, it would be ‘a contractual relationship.’
That was the day I had gotten my hands on valuable information on Jude for the first time.
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ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍
NOTE: i forgot to mention that i can take comms to tl judes main story chapters, avatar mission stories, and his side stories in full, as ciele, the one whos gonna tl his story, said that i could tl chapters from his story too. the turnaround time per chapter is usually around 1–2 days from the time i start it. (for jude it might be closer to 2 days.)
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nmakii · 24 hours ago
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omg bachira, isagi, tetchou and dazai with an autistic s/o PLEASE
if you will , make them headcanons ^^ hope you have a wonderhoy day !!
hello, my alien. we’re each other’s mystery
— bachira + isagi + tetchou + dazai x autistic!s/o
so basically all of them x me i see.. i feel like i fucked up on isagi i cant pinpoint his personality ugh. debut into bllk omg im shy hi reentry into bsd too haha if u guys were active in 2022 i think i am familiar. WAIT NOTE AB THE TITLE… LISTEN TO FRIENDS BY BTS IM NOT ABLEIST ITS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE :(
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— bachira meguru
lets be honest he is also a bit autistic…
very hard to be around when you’re overstimmed ngl… he tries to tone it down when he knows you cant handle too much at the moment. but it’s hard for him to just dial the craziness to 50 😞
oh, very good though at getting you out of social situations. he can slip the two of you out of a party like it’s nobody’s business, cause it is nobody’s business :x
hes also a bit of a wild card too if you’re obsessive about having a routine. he’s a free spirit, so having to do things the same way is a bit of a chore.
when you go non-verbal, he brings out a notebook that you two write your conversations on. he doesn’t actually have to write it down. he can communicate just fine, but he likes to write them down as a memento of your relationship.
he alsoooo likes listening to you yap about your special interest! very attentive, you’d think that you’re a professor and he’s your student at how the flow of your conversation is going
“huh— where did bachira and s/o go..?” isagi asked. he turned around, looking for the two of you after the sudden realization that he was abandoned in the middle of the buffet line…
bachira pulled you out, and in an abandoned hall. he noticed you suddenly started plugging your ears.
‘you ok sunshine? :( is the music too loud?’
‘a little bit… i just wanna get away for like 5 min..’
‘hehe, dont worry. ill stay with you (╹◡╹) <3’
‘ty meg :) <3’
bachira smiled as he saw your hand-drawn emoticon. the two of you doodled all over the notebook while he hummed until you were ready to return.
isagi groaned as he saw the two of you reenter. “you guys..! you should’ve told me if you were gonna sneak away!” bachira stuck out his tongue, making a silly expression. “oops! it just slipped my mind!” he snickered.
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— isagi yoichi
with the geniuses he has to keep up with, you’re a total walk in the park for him ;p
mega caretaker, he’s super good at protecting you in uncomfortable environments. i feel like he has a weighted blanket somewhere in his room to cover you with, cause he knows it makes you feel safe.
he lowk overprotective sometimes though. he knows his friends like bachira and raichi are a bit more on the raucous side, so he doesn’t hang out with them when he’s with you until like… 2 years into your relationship (they lowk didnt even know he had a partner). in those two years, he only introduced you to his peaceful friends like nagi, hiori, iemon, and kuon
he doesn’t fight you too much about if you have a routine. he has a luck routine and his spacial awareness makes him really meticulous about how things happen, so he’s gets your struggle :x
he tried learning sign language. he really tried… but there was so much signs; for an entire month, his search history was ‘how do i say [thing] in sign language’
he ended up only learning the alphabet, numbers, and basic words like please and hungry. now when you go non-verbal, he simply just opens his notes app for you to type ;p
he, like bachira, loves your yap. its like his personal podcast fr. he likes to let you sit on the kitchen counter and yap, while he washes dishes. he also likes putting on wireless headsets and listen to your voice messages while he practices, or works out at the gym.
“are you absolutely sure you wanna meet them?” isagi asks. “babe, theyre my friends, but theyre also kind of annoying.” he warns you. of course he meant it lovingly… you nod. “yup! they’re your friends, yoi. i wanna meet them..!”
he sighs and nods. “fine… don’t say i didn’t warn you…” he opens the door. you recognize kunigami, he’s talking with chigiri. “isagi! there you areee~!” a boy with a bob-cut hums. “ah, bachira… this is s/o.” isagi points to you. “ooh~! nice to meet you! im bachira meguru. so you’re the one isagi’s been hiding?”
“don’t overwhelm them too much…” isagi sighs, he pulls you away carefully, bringing you in kunigami’s direction. if you settled in with people you were already acquainted with, then you should probably adjust better. that was isagi’s conclusion. “if any of them pester you, just tell me, okay?”
you nod, a bit saddened at your’s and bachira’s conversation’s sudden end. “im not a kid, yoi. you don’t have to worry over me or anything.” isagi frowns. “hnn… i just don’t want my friends overstimulating you. they might be too much for you, babe.” he explains. at that moment, igaguri suddenly yelled out at gagamaru for taking one of his gyozas, making you instinctively cover your ears.
“seeee?” he points out. “okay… point taken… but, i can still deal with it. if im uncomfortable, ill just tell you, okay?” you offer, trying to compromise. isagi looks around, weighing the possibilities before nodding. “finee…”
that day actually went quite well, you were able to keep up with all of them without getting overstimulated. that night, isagi had his face in his pillow, his face being that of death and grief. ‘they dont need me anymore… theyre gonna end up hanging out with my friends more than me…’ he mumbles.
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— tetchou suehiro
another lowk might be autistic (but in a diff way)
he isnt too sure about what to do when you’re overstimmed. so, he usually just takes you to a quiet place and sits down with you until you’re calmer.
hes hella conflicted on whether or not he should introduce you to the hunting dogs. his line of work is pretty dangerous after all, and his co-workers aren’t exactly… pacifists 💀
he ends up deciding not to though. worst comes to worst, he just introduces you 5 years in to your relationship— thats what he thinks.
he doesnt mind your routine. he, himself, is pretty eccentric, so you two are just okay with each other’s quirks :x
tetchou doesnt care when you go non-verbal. lol. okay joke, its more like, he’s also very quiet, he doesn’t even actually notice that you two havent talked to each other for 14 hours.
but when the two of you are talking, he is still as quiet as ever. it’s usually you yapping and tetchou asking questions once in a while. never though, does he ever interrupt you when you talk; always waits for you to finish what you’re saying so you dont lose your train of thought 🫡
tetchou spreads some spicy ranch on his pancakes. it was a pretty good combo. he sat at the dining table, as he heard your alarm clock ring.
first thing you do when you wake up, stretch then use the bathroom. tetchou has your routine memorized by now. second, have cereal for breakfast. third, get dressed. fourth, check if your bag has everything you need. he continues his own routine, and you complete yours, until it’s time to head to work.
you’re double, triple, quadruple checking your bag, making sure you didn’t leave anything. tetchou finished lacing up the strings of his boots before he rises back. “ready for work?” he asks, taking his own little peek into your bag.
“uhuh” you nod. tetchou hums, noticing the charger you left on the counter, and slipping it into your bag. “now you are…”. you gasp, “so that’s what i forgot… thank you, chou..” you say. his deep voice vibrates in his throat as he leans in and kisses you, “stay safe. call me if you need anything.” you wrap your arms around his neck.
last part of your routine, hug and kiss tetchou before leaving for work.
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— osamu dazai
he lowk adhd u feel?
when youre overstimmed, he lets you lay on his shoulder while he pats your back and brushes your hair. times like this are his personal favorites, it’s when the world is quiet and no one but you and him exists.
defdefdef introduces you to the ADA members. he finds you similar to kyoka, and always encourages you to hang out with her.
adding on that, he sort of sees akutagawa in you… is akutagawa also autistic? hmm… either way, hes a criminal! he cant let his partner interact with a criminal! — the criminal says after diner dashing again.
the routine thing doesnt really work for dazai either… it’s either you break up with him or let him wake up at 4:00 to eat noodles and rearrange the layout of his dorm, bestie… (just leaves his pot in the sink btw, he a bum like that)
actually knows sign language! dont ask me why he knows, bc i dunno either. he just does :x
he also loves to listen to your yap. actual yapper x yapper. you two’s conversations are lowk exhausting though. you both interrupt each other and talk until you’re both breathless. HAHAHAAH
sluuuuuuurp!
you’re waken up by the loud, really gross, squelching sounds of dazai’s saucy noodles as he slurps them up. the sound is uncomfortable— really uncomfortable.
“s—samu… dont… too loud…” you groan, trying to cover your ears. dazai perks up, “ah, did i wake you..? awh, im sorry, dear..!” he apologizes. even though dazai truly meant it, for some reason it just sounded like sarcasm. “uhuh… j…just dont do it again… trying to sleep…” you hum. “got it… go back to sleep, sweets”
for the rest of the night, you sleep well. dazai makes sure to remain veeeery quiet, taking bites of his noodles rather than slurping, carrying his feet, and using all of his hidden muscles to carry his bookshelf. maybe if he keeps doing this, he wont look so lanky anymore.
at around 6:30, you finally wake up again, your surroundings completely different, and you start to panic. “wh—h..huh..?” you look around. dazai’s in the closet, rolling all of his empty beer bottles into it. “hi, baby! just decided to tidy up a bit. you like?” he asks
tidy up? “tidy up, my ass..! all of your stuff is in different places..! i have to relearn my way around your dorm all over again..!” you complain. “hehe… it was for a good cause! you have your own space now in here!” he grins, opening the second to the bottom drawer in his dresser. it was tidied up, and empty.
“for me?” you ask. “mmhm.” he confirms with a hum. even though dazai was quite lazy, stubborn, and annoying, he really put effort into making you happy. just you.
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graysparrowao3 · 2 days ago
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i'm thinking. Maybe Rolan is in heat. And the infuriatingly flirty and handsome Zhent guy who keeps trying to get discounts might be populating Rolan's horny thoughts. Maybe Rolan asks this Rugan guy if he'd like a...ah, mission. a very special mission that would imply them locked into Rolan's room for three days
Oh ho ho, what a message! Well this is new for me! You sure are thinking thoughts... Thank you for sharing them! ... Now I'm thinking them too...
Interesting… two of my favourite blorbos, conveniently in such an improper situation…🤔 Hope you don’t mind, I had a play around with how such a discussion might go. Hopefully it's got the same sort of vibes you were thinking too!
Summary: Rugan wants a discount. Rolan wants release. They come to an agreement.
Words: 1,108
Very suggestive, not outright explicit.
A bead of sweat laced down Rolan’s neck and tickled as it slid beneath his collar. He tried to adjust the fabric, but little good it did. He was burning from the inside out, infernal resistance be damned.
His entire damn body was pulsing in knots; a bottled up rolling thunder threatening to detonate. Instead of having the company or decency to take care of it, he was trying desperately to concentrate through the steam in his head and take stock and procure items and take payments. Then a figure appeared at the entrance of Sorcerous Sundries; sandy hair tied back and an infuriatingly charming smile pulling at the lines around his crystal eyes.
Just who he did not need to be putting up with right now.
The human strode through the wide, open double doors like his balls hardly fit and deposited himself at the counter, lounging against it and ignoring the fact that Rolan was still finishing a transaction with another customer.
“Y’alright, gorgeous,” Rugan winked.
Rolan blew frustrated air from his nostrils as he completed the exchange and cast his eyes sideways over to the annoyingly handsome interruption. “I suppose you imagine that might actually work one of these days?”
“You are a tease,” Rugan clicked his tongue. “Go on, be an absolute gem and do us a favour.”
“I’m not sorry to say I shan’t. Are you actually going to be making a purchase this time or shall we skip forward to the part where I demand your swift departure?”
Rugan made a show of patting the firm sides of his waist. “Alas, I seem to find myself tragically short in the coin department.”
“I’ll attempt not to be overcome with disbelief,” Rolan muttered, letting his eyes linger far too long where the human’s fingers rested on his lean body, dangerously close to the tempting creases where his thighs met his groin. “I see you are once again under a misconception that this is not a place of business where goods and services are available for purchase.”
Noting the direction of the wizard’s gaze, Rugan’s own eyes narrowed as he studied the tiefling. The desperate glisten on his skin, the hungry flare in his eyes, the awkward shifting between his feet to hide the discomfort of his need. Oh, now this he could work with.
Rugan let his tongue wet his lips as his lilting voice danced indecently across the space between them. “Looks to me like I’m not the one in need of said goods and services.”
“I’ve no idea what you could possibly mean,” Rolan said dismissively.
“Now I could be wrong,” Rugan’s voice lowered as he leaned over the counter, “but something tells me you’ve need of a man well-versed in his trade.”
Rolan raked his eyes up and down the worn leather and tight straps that outlined the human’s body. He didn’t realize the tip of tongue also flickered across his lips. “You are a mercenary of some description?”
“Aye,” Rugan lip pulled into a lopsided smile. “Let’s go with that.”
“Then I’ve had more than enough of you and your compatriots.” Rolan snapped his head towards the open doors of the establishment, and Rugan followed his sightline. 
In the courtyard outside some loud gobshite with a rat’s nest on his head wouldn’t shut up about the song of the night or some such rubbish. Rugan shook his disapproving head. He turned back to the wizard and gestured with his hand to emphasize his point. “What you need is a professional.”
“If only there were such a thing in this Godsforsaken city.” Rolan’s tongue hung deliciously on the sibilance.
“You’re in luck,” Rugan rolled his shoulders and braced himself on the counter in a way that made his biceps strain against the material of his sleeves and his chest strain against the leather. “A consummate professional. At your service.”
Rolan indiscreetly adjusted his robes. “What I want would be a paying customer.”
“Said I don’t have the coin,” Rugan stared up, his bright eyes meeting the fire in Rolan's. An obscene smirk could be heard in his voice. “Didn’t say I wouldn’t pay.”
A deep maroon flared across Rolan’s cheekbones and he turned away. He covered his flush of flaring need with a cough, missing the smirk that flashed across Rugan’s face. When the wizard turned back, he paused, one nail tapping incessantly on the counter surface.
“Perhaps…" Rolan said, slowly. "I could find a task for you. A contract, if you like. Unofficial. Unaffiliated with Sorcerous business.”
An indecent smile grew on Rugan’s lips. “Now you’re talking. Always best when things are on the smart side of official.”
“I could…” Rolan cleared his throat, then raised his chin to maintain some essence of dignity. “Use a hand. Personal matters.”
The way one of Rugan’s brows raised in a suggestive curve was not subtle. “You don’t say?”
“I imagine a professional might find other suitable ways to go about it.”
“Oh, I imagine you’re right about that.” The Zhentarim agent’s wicked grin broadened.
“Then we’re in agreement. In exchange for a selection of items of your choosing,” Rolan swallowed. “You will… assist me.”
“I can only imagine what such a notable purveyor of his craft might need assisting with,” Rugan let an elbow rest on the counter and leant his chin on his fist as he crooned across it. “Consider me your dutiful apprentice.”
Rolan imagined he’d be calling the man a great many things in the near future, though that would not be among them. He found the sharp attitude that often clipped his voice, a flare of arrogance to cover his indignity. “I'm quite the particular employer, I expect your undivided attention. It may take some time.”
Rugan reached forward and hooked a finger under the cool, silver curve of Rolan’s mantle. He jerked it down, forcing the wizard’s head towards his. Rugan leaned close, his tone low and gruff as his rough cheek grazed against the tiefling. “It’ll take as long as I say it will.”
Rolan’s face burned as he was released from the Zhent’s grip, a hand instinctively against his heaving chest, desire hard between his legs. He blinked for breath, then turned around and called out across the echoing chamber of Sorcerous Sundries. “Due to unforeseen circumstances, we are closing immediately. Management does apologize but you must depart the building at once.”
The patrons had not quite all left when an impatient, stern hand smacked firm onto Rolan’s backside.
“Hope you’re as tightly wound as you look, sunshine,” Rugan’s breath was hot on his ear. “Because I’ve got one hell of a shopping list.”
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