#the big sad has been kicking my butt

[finnofamerica]

The Week Of - Bucky Barnes X Reader || Part 4 || Angst

Summary: As a bridesmaid in your best friend’s wedding, you are invited to stay with her during the week of the wedding as everything gets prepared for the big day. Things don’t quite go as planned when you discover that you will be bunking with one of the groomsmen.

Word Count: 1,150

Date Posted: 06.13.23

TW: strong language, AFAB language used, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, Hangover, non-verbal,

Note: I know it took a while. The Big Sad has been kicking my ass, but I finally managed to finish it after working on it bit by bit the last two weeks.

|| Masterlist || Request Here || Ask Me Stuff || Part 5 || Requested

You woke up in the king-sized bed, the blanket tucked tightly around you. Your head pounded as you remembered the events from last night. It didn’t take long for you to realize that you were alone in the room. There was no shower running and music playing like you had woken up to yesterday morning. Aside from his luggage, the only sign of Bucky’s presence was the glass of water and two alka seltzer tablets set on the bedside table.  Then it hit you.  How did you end up in bed? Bucky must’ve carried you to bed after you passed out. Because you definitely fell asleep on the floor in the bathroom. You popped the tablets in the water and watched it fizz as you mentally prepared yourself for the day. You were not excited to see Bucky. You weren’t excited when Ava inevitably noticed that you were acting ‘weird’ around Bucky.  Tonight was the rehearsal dinner, which meant another busy day for the hungover crew. Well, you were hung over. 

“Come get some breakfast, sister,” Greyson greeted you when you dragged your pajama-clad self to the kitchen, “I got bagels. Your favorite, right?”  You nodded, cringing at the volume of his voice. “Hung over?” He chuckled, “You got the water, and Alka Seltzer Buck brought you?” You nodded again.  “Nonverbal?”  You nodded.  “You gonna use some words sometime today, maybe?” He asked sweetly.  You shrugged. It was a possibility; you just weren’t able to right now. After last night, you didn’t have the energy to make words. You grabbed a few bagels, toasted and loaded them with schmear.  You sat at the kitchen table, nibbling on your breakfast, when Bucky walked through the front door with coffee. You furrowed your brows, and your face flushed when Bucky handed you a drink. Your favorite drink.  “I told him what to get you,” Greyson picked up on your confusion, answering the unasked question. You took a long sip, savoring the sweet brew. It was like heaven in a cup, and even though you knew it didn’t work that way, you swore you could feel your headache easing already.   “How are you not hungover?” Ava groaned as she dragged herself into the room, Greyson handing over a plate of her preprepared breakfast.  “You’re a saint,” She tiptoed to land a kiss on his cheek and took one of the coffees from Bucky.  “I don’t get hung over,” Bucky shrugged, “Never have.”  “Are you immortal or something?”  “Not as far as I’m aware, no.”  Ava gave a short hum of approval before turning to you.  “Are you ready for today?” She asked.  You shook your head.  “Oh, it’s one of those mornings.”  You nodded.  “Alright. That’s understandable. You’ll be okay today?”  You nodded again. 

Ava started laying out the plan for the day. They would go to the ceremony rehearsal, then a quick lunch break, then more ceremony rehearsal, and finally, the rehearsal dinner.  Of course, you were paired with Bucky through the whole thing. Having to link arms with him as you practiced walking down the aisle made your skin crawl. Two hours in, you couldn’t stand it anymore and broke away in the middle of rehearsal to run to the bathroom.  You sat on the bathroom stall floor, head between your knees as you self-soothed. Taking long slow breaths to stop the aching in your chest.  “Y/n, you in here, sweetie?” Ava asked, knocking on the main bathroom door, peaking her curly head of hair through the door.  “Yeah,” You replied meekly, muffled slightly by your legs. You heard her footsteps approach you, and she slid underneath the stall door, joining you on the floor.  “What’d wrong, Hunny?”  “Bucky rejected me,” Your voice cracked, hearing the words out loud for the first time, “We made out last night, and I thought we were going to have sex, and he rejected me.”  “Oh babe, can I hug you?”  You nodded, and Ava pulled you into a hug without hesitation. You held on tightly like you were clinging to a lifeline, a buoy barely keeping you above the rising tide.  “If he can’t see how wonderful you are, then he doesn’t deserve you, sweet girl.” Ava cooed, rocking you gently in her arms. “You deserve to have someone who appreciates the way your brain functions.”  After a long while, you calmed, rejoining the party with Ava at your side.  “Let’s take a break for lunch,” Ava suggested, dismissing the group of people, before pulling her fiance aside, surely to explain your encounter with Bucky from the night before.  You followed the rest of the bridesmaids out to where your catered lunch was waiting, idly chatting with them. 

“What the hell did you do?” Greyson pulled Bucky aside, away from where the bridal party was currently eating.  “What?” Bucky’s brows furrowed.  “What happened with Y/n last night?”  “We made out, we almost had sex, but I didn’t want my first time with her to be while we were both drunk. Call me old fashioned, but I was taught to respect women.” He defended himself under Greyson’s accusing glare. “I like her enough, I wanna get to know her better before we - y’know?”  “She doesn’t understand that, Bucky. She thinks you don’t like her. If you like her, you need to tell her that. That’s why she’s been upset all day. Rejections hurt worse for her. She has big feelings.”   Bucky’s heart sank in his chest. He didn’t realize how much that seemingly insignificant rejection would hurt you because, to him, he wasn’t really rejecting you, just taking a raincheck on your little attempted affair.  “I’ll talk to her,” He sighed, “There are lots of things about her I don’t know, huh?”  “Yeah, and it is not my business to tell.”  Bucky slunk back into the building with Greyson. 

When you finally arrived back at “home,” you were beyond exhausted. You could feel every bit of the amount that you had walked in heels that day. Your calves were aching. You rushed upstairs, collected your pajamas, and headed to the restroom to change. Bucky must’ve not been in much of a hurry to go to bed because you were tucked away and mostly asleep when the door softly opened and shut, announcing Bucky’s presence. You could hear him shuffle around the room before entering the bathroom to change.  The bed gently shifted when he sat on the side.  “I know you’re probably sleeping,” he whispered into the silence of the room, “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I didn’t mean to make you feel rejected. I just didn’t want the first time we had sex to be some drunken fling. I want to get to know you, Y/n. I’ll sleep on the couch downstairs again tonight. We’ll talk in the morning.”  The door creaked shut, and your soft snores filled the silence.

Tags: @1deadpool26@fortisfilia@vicmc624 @heilith

[lace-coffin]

I really want asa with a hybrid puppy reader, just thinking being on his lap and wagging my tail while he scartches my ears softly ;333

Asa Emory x Puppy Hybrid!gn!Reader

Hi! Sorry I’ve been gone so long, I’m hoping to get some stuff written soon! Thank you so much for all the asks!

Thanks for the super cute ask! I have such a soft spot for anything puppy related so I was super excited to write this!

The lights flicker on with a snap, rudely rousing you out of your sleep. You blink once, twice, getting your bearings and groaning, hands balled to paw at your sleep crusted eyes. After a few seconds of collecting yourself, it hits you.

He’s home! He’s home and he’s coming to play with me!

Almost automatically your tail starts to thump wildly against the pile of cushy blankets lining your dog bed. You know by now to stay and sit pretty despite your excitement, wanting to make your owner proud at your display of restraint. Propping yourself onto your knees in your dog bed and puffing your chest out proudly, you wait…and wait..and wait. God he always takes so long, the tension is killing you. At this point you think he does it on purpose, taking joy in rilling you up and seeing how long it would take you to loose your composure, just so he can punish you for it later. (He absolutely does)

After methodically hanging his jacket, kicking off his clunky and probably gore stained boots and throwing his keys in the bowl, he finally makes his way over to you, a small fond smile hidden behind his thick mask. Despite how hard headed and seemingly emotionless Asa can seem, he still has a soft spot for his things, the yappy little mutt that resides at his house included.

Bending down with a slight groan he pats your head gently, ruffling the hair between your floppy ears and scratching behind them in a way that makes your leg kick behind you. hands slide down to cup your flushed cheek before giving one final pat to the squishy flesh and rising back to full height.

You watch as he stalks over to the kitchen, tail swishing behind you, kitchen usually means treat in your brain and now it does for Asa too, even if that wasn’t the original intention it’s practically criminal for him to not offer you one whenever he enters that room now, influenced by your insistence and sad puppy eyes.

“Come”

Master snaps his gloved fingers, pointing to the cold linoleum floor infront of him. Needless to say you basically sprint over to him, waiting for the next command and more importantly waiting for the treat that’s sitting in his balled up fist.

“Sit”

Your butt hits the floor before he can even finish the command, master smirking at how well trained he has you, you’re wrapped around his finger without question.

“Shake”

You slap your hand into his larger extended one, skin meeting leather.

Nodding in satisfaction at your little show, the treat is offered to you from the other hand, now unfurled and hovering infront of your face. You eagerly snatch it up into your jaws, canines hanging over either side of it.

plodding off to the warn down brown leather sofa and sitting next to it expectantly, you fix your eyes onto your master. big doe eyes practically staring into his soul.

“Oh, is it that time pup?”

He chuckles, knowing it’s not worth fighting the inevitable, he slumps into the chair with a grunt and a pop somewhere from his back. The years haven’t been kind on his body considering his ‘extracurricular’ activities of choice. despite this it’s still nice to come home to someone who’s excited to see him, comforting almost. Away from all the gut wrenching screams, pleas that fall on deaf ears and the body’s littering the halls, there’s you. A soft creature completely dependent on him and absolutely thrilled that he’s home. Sometimes seeing a wagging tail at his arrival instead of a paling face makes him feel appreciated.

Shuffling to get comfy, master kicks up his feet onto the recliner, patting his lap to call you up. You’ve done this so many times that words aren’t needed, the physical signal is pretty much a formality at this point too, you’re coming up there whether he likes it or not.

You wiggle your butt/tail and angle the jump, landing successfully into Asa’s lap with a grunt from him, twisting around for a moment to seat yourself comfily across his legs, letting out a content huff once you do. Asa’s reflective eyes flicker to you, catching your attention.

“Have you been well behaved for me today pup? Or is there anything you would like to confess?” He quirks a brow, testing you.

You smile brightly, letting out a cheery bark in response, knowing you were perfectly good in his absence. Pleased with your answer he shuffles you closer to him, reaching over to the side table and retrieving the book he’s currently been stuck into whenever he’s home. You take this as a sign to catch a quick nap as it seems you’re going to be here a while.

As he gets settled back into his book his unoccupied hand cards through your hair, rubbing over your flattened and relaxed ears. Your fluffy tail swings lazily off the end of the recliner at the attention, eyes drooping shut.

[shinypuppytoy621]

camping with big sis

Tw: incest, hard kink, abuse, noncon

Now that the first snow has fallen you’re big sis offers to take you camping, she says there’s a cabin you can both sleep in for a couple of nights and even though you want to say no for many reasons but mostly her acting really strange lately; staring at you for long periods of time, encouraging you to drink but always stopped by your parents and often offering you to stay the night with her, like she has a fixation on you for some reason

“y’know it’s normal to sleep with your big sis right? If you can’t sleep, it’s normal, you should do it, you really should, lil sis”

you try to make excuses but your mom’s force you and you’re too timid to talk back so here you are, in the car alone with your big sis who’s creepily quiet.

after about 3 hours you arrive, at a car park, you’re sister said to follow her since there’s no roads leading to the cabin so you grab all your supplies and prepare for the walk thinking that it’ll be a boring weekend with your weird sis, little to your knowledge it would be far FAR from “boring”

after about an hours trek through the snow you reach it, a sad looking log cabin in the middle of butt fuck nowhere. Once you’re settled in your big sis orders you to chop some extra fire wood so you get on it, any excuse to escape the creepy silence but once you return you find out what your big sister has been busy doing, sitting by a fire with a half empty bottle of vodka in her hand

“heyyyyyyyy~ lil sis! Been waiting for ya~”

“you’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“not as much as I wanna be, I’ve been waiting for my wittle baby sister, c’mere, drink”

she hands you the bottle but you refuse, in a weird way you kinda looked up to your sister but you’ve never seen her this low and you don’t want to encourage her

“I wasn’t asking, sister, we’re here so mommy and mommy can’t stop me, drink!”

she grabs your hair and forces the bottle to your lips and lifts it up, it burns, bad, and its taste overpowers you and you, you, you feel your head feel fuzzy and dizzy and you fall to the floor

(cough) (cough) what the fuck sis! (Cough) (cough) that tastes disgusting

you continue to wheeze and struggle on the floor as tears start to grow in your eyes and before you know it you feel a quick kick to your chest and you fall to your back, the vodka is really hitting now, you feel disoriented and you see your big sis looking down on you, she looks less carefree and more stressed, angry… pure disgust

Fucking lightweight, you’re real pathetic y’know that? Sis

You feel pure confusion, where did this come from? She seemed happy a second ago, was it because i disobeyed her?

she lifts the bottle and pours the rest of the vodka on your face, it entering your nose and makes it hard to breathe

So fucking pathetic, no wonder I’m the favourite, you really ought to know what a little sis’s place is in this world, I’ve been wanting to put you in that place for a while but mommy always got in the way

s- sis? W- what’s gotten into you? Why are you saying that? W- what’s-

you’re interrupted by a swift kick to the face

no no, speak when spoken too, that’s something you’ll have to learn lil sis

she grabs your hair and lifts you up to your knees before walking behind you and ripping off your jacket and skirt, leaving you wearing nothing but a bra and panties

I- it’s cold you say, trying so hard to appeal to her empathy, but sadly that was killed off in her drunken state

you’re cold??? Awwww is big sis cold??? Is that fucking so?

she storms off to the other room, slamming the door behind her, the noise sends chills down your spine, she returns with her outside coat as well as a chain

I can show my lil sis what cold is actually like, maybe then she’ll stop complaining like a bitch

she puts on the coat and wraps the heavy chain around your neck, giving it a strong tug towards her. You sink into dread, the stress sobers you up as you go into complete panic over your current situation and fear sets in

I’m sorry sis, for everything, for anything I’ve done, I’m really really sorry, just tell me what to do and I’ll change it, please big sis!

she simply looks at you in disgust and walks towards the front door, dragging you across with it. You try to fight back, clawing at the old wood floor as splinters enter your feet and fingernails to no avail, your big sis leaves out into the cold snow and you shortly behind

she stops by a large frozen over bucket of water and kicks the ice with her boot, breaking it, before pulling you closer and closer. You put together what she’s planning and your clawing gets worse, crawling on all 4’s away from your sister, grabbing onto anything the panic washing away any agony you should be feeling from the cold. It’s no use

you blink and there you are, on your knees in front of a bucket of ice cold water with your sister holding your hair

please, I’m sorry, whatever I did it won’t happen again, plea- Your big sister cuts you off, plunging your face into the cold water, your muffled screams only heard by the one forcing you to endure, she pulls your head out viciously

fuck that’s cold! My hand! Shit!

she lets go of your hair leaving you to fall to the floor, unable to catch your breath from your frozen lungs as your sister breaths on the hand she held your head with trying to warm it up cursing all the while

you realise she’s facing away from you so you move as fast as you can away from her, that being crawling like a whipped dog at a snails pace towards the cabin, your dreams of relief cut short by your chain being yanked back as you feel someone grab your arms, pulling you back to the water and forcing your head back under the water, this time with their boot and for longer

you twitch and squirm and scream to no result, you can barely move or do anything, you start to think the worse “am I going to die, is she going to kill me? I don’t want to die!!!” Your face turns numb from the cold but the rest of your body is in excruciating pain

eventually the boot gets released and you jolt back onto the snow, coughing up water that entered your lungs

“I’m bored, let’s go back into the cabin. Find something useful to do with that kindling you chopped up so nicely~”

[katyawriteswhump]

364 days later (Steddie holiday drabble)

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 30/31 prompt, New Year's Eve/Resolutions I AM SO SAD IT IS NEARLY OVER!!!!

When Steve is hurt on New Year’s Eve, he discovers there’s only one person he can truly go home to.

WC: 918 Rating: T CW: off-screen/pre-fic violence including domestic violence. Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff. Established steddie.

Also part of my steve whump fic series (mainly steddie) on ao3

***

“I hadn’t a clue where else to go,” says Steve, an odd tremor in his voice. 

Steve hadn’t knocked, hadn’t announced his arrival. Eddie simply opened the trailer door and found him. God knows how long he’s been standing at the bottom of the steps, cradling one arm in the other. It’s dark, but it’s screamingly obvious something’s wrong. Steve’s hair is kinda ruffled for starters. 

“I mean, yeah, we have a date later,” Steve rambles, “being New Years Eve and all that crap, and… uh…”

Holy shit! Eddie jumps down to him, freaking out big-time. Blood smears one side of Steve’s face, his lip is bruised, and his harsh breaths cloud the icy air. Eddie wants to hug him tight; instead, he briefly clams up, super-terrified. He’s never seen anybody so robust appear so… brittle.

Gently, he cups the uninjured side of Steve’s face, curves an arm around him. “What the hell happened?”

“I did it, man. Finally. My dad… I, um…”

“Your dad did this?”

“He wishes,” Steve says, snarky.

Eddie seriously can’t fathom whether he’s lying: “Who else, man?”

“Got jumped leaving work, and I… I…” Steve’s wretched laugh crumbles into an even more wretched whimper. Eddie catches him, as his knees buckle.

“Okay, big guy, I gotcha.”

He bundles him inside, sits him on the couch. Steve stares spacily, hugs his arm, rocks himself. 

Momentarily, Eddie literally flaps. Then he grabs a chilled beer from the fridge, douses a clean cloth in water. He coaxes Steve into holding the can against his swollen wrist, while Eddie dabs the blood from his face.

“Gonna sting,” warns Eddie. Steve hisses. “Sorry, Stevie.”

“It’s fine. Christ, I’m okay.”

“Not buying that BS today. Not sorry.”

Eddie frowns, concentrating hard. The cut, fortunately, has clotted already. He binds Steve’s wrist with a make-shift bandage. Steve mutters about getting kicked a LOT, when he was curled on the ground, shielding his face. Eddie feels sick, soothingly shushes Steve’s gasps of pain. Possibly as much to comfort himself as Steve. “Look, we should get you to the Med—"

“No way. I’ll fix… Listen, I finally did it,” repeats Steve, as his eyes flutter closed.

“Yeah? Did what exactly, Babe?”

 “Carried out my New Year’s resolution.”

***

Steve barely recalls how he got here.

He’d driven around aimlessly. His wrist hurt so bad that he goddamn cried, too far gone to give a shit. He couldn’t think; he was drowning, sucked deep into thick, suffocating waters. Some crazy inner compass drew him to the one place he could pull for the surface.

He found himself outside Eddie’s trailer. Standing there stupidly, hurting and shivering. Not even yelling to be let in. Now, he’s inside and getting warm with Eddie, who asks again what happened.

Crap, does Steve even know?

He honestly couldn’t ID his attackers. Sorta knew why he was attacked, being guilty of so much these days—hanging with geeks, being a king that lost his crown, not to mention his boyfriend being Eddie ‘spawn-of-satan’ Munson.

Then his Dad.

The look he’d given Steve, when Steve arrived home bruised and bloodied. 

“He didn’t need to say it,” says Steve, head resting on Eddie’s shoulder. “It was written all over his smug-ass face. You deserve this.”

He’d yelled his butt off about Steve making trouble. Shoved Steve around a bit, knowing he was in no shape to fight back.

“I told him to stick it. Left with basically nothing. Okay, the car, though that technically belongs to him, and… Shit, where am I gonna go?”

His tardy reality check hits like a baseball bat to the gut. Huddled against Eddie, he’s shaking, breaths hitching, hating himself for it. Eddie wraps his other arm across Steve and holds him. 

Simply holds him.

And yeah, he calms a little.

“Seriously, don’t sweat it,” says Eddie. “You can stay here till you’ve figured stuff out. Forever, if you need.”

Steve glances up, swipes angrily across his damp cheekbone. “Uh, earth to Eddie? Wayne?”

“He’ll cuss under his breath. And love the heck out of you. Already does. What’s one more overgrown brat?”

“C’mon, he’ll—"

“Look, I’m genuinely blown away. It’s New Year’s Eve and you’ve already nailed your resolution.”

Steve buries his face again, and… Woah! He’s laughing. Eddie’s kickass painkillers are working, or… Screw it, life never sucks so bad when he’s with Eddie. 

“Leaving home was last year’s resolution,” he mumbles toward Eddie’s armpit.

“Oh.” Eddie plants a soft kiss on Steve’s hair. 

“Yeeeeah. I’m only, like, 364 days late.”

***

Eddie’s still freaking that he should get Steve better help. However, Steve is a dead weight against him, knee curled in Eddie’s lap, and refuses to budge from the circle of Eddie’s arms.

New Year ticks by, lost in a gentle, lingering kiss. Eddie ghosts his thumb, featherlight, down the uninjured side of Steve’s face. Steve scrunches his good hand tightly in Eddie’s hair, deepening the kiss more passionately than—given Steve’s bruises—Eddie dares.

“Happy New Year, Babe,” whispers Eddie, when they break apart. A sneaky smile plays on Steve’s lips. “What?”

“I hit a winning streak,” says Steve, “I’ve smashed this year’s resolution already.”

“Huh?”

“Do I really have to spell it out, dipshit?”

Fixing deep in Steve’s eyes, Eddie’s grin spreads slowly. Dammit, this was going down as the worst and best New Year ever, and sure as heck the most shamefully sappy:

Oh, I get it. Falling in love.

“Back at ya,” he says, and tumbles forward into another kiss.

[melonsodypop]

Hello! I was wondering if you had anymore HCs for Saejima (either sfw or not) other than the ones you've already done? I just can't get enough of that tiger, haha. I understand if not though. Thank you and have a good day!

taiga saejima sfw and nsfw headcanons !

🐅 pairing - taiga saejima/afab!reader

🐅 tags - nsfw, minors dni, no gendered terms or pronouns used, bullet list headcanons, dom!saejima

🐅 a/n - i will take any and all opportunities to speak about saejima i love love LOVE that big beefy man <33 also sorry for the slowing pace of posting!! the ay dee eich dee has been truly kicking my butt

🐅 SFW 🐅

the most protective boyfriend EVER

he's not a huge fan of pda so he won't insist on keeping his hands on you, but rest assured if you're out together in public you're never out of his sight or arm's length of him

he knows you're more than capable of handling yourself, but he can't stand the thought of you being somewhere where he can't reach in case something happens

extremely jealous - the sight of another man talking or even looking at you makes a pit form in his stomach

if he gets even the slightest inkling that you're uncomfortable or that the dude has less than pure intentions, he'll come up behind you and put an arm around your waist with the meanest, scariest glare he can muster which usually sends most men running

(sometimes, on his grumpier days, he'll do this just because he doesn't want other men talking to you)

you're his pride and joy above all - he's not much of a talker, nor one to show off, but you could be literally doing anything - singing your heart out off-key at karaoke, getting a gutter ball in bowling, completely missing your swing at the batting center - and he's just sitting and watching you with a soft, proud smile on his lips

not the best at big, grand gestures of affection like buying you flowers or taking you on romantic dates, but he'll show his devotion to you in little acts of service, like cooking every piece of meat for you at the yakiniku restaurant or bringing back a small souvenir that reminded him of you whenever his patriarch business takes him away somewhere

anybody in the saejima family knows not to cross him when he's been away from you for too long - he gets GROUCHY

he's good at playing the part of the scary, stoic boyfriend when you're out in public - but rest assured, when it's just the two of you, he's such a cuddlebug

doesn't often initiate physical contact, but as soon as you flop on top of him when he's lounging on the couch and watching tv, you're not leaving

cuddling with you brings out his playful side - if he hasn't shaved in a while, he'll nuzzle his face into your neck and chuckle when you complain that his scruff is tickling you

he adores you so much, and sometimes he wonders what a mean old bastard like him did to deserve someone so wonderful

is so single-handedly focused and devoted to you - when you're with him nothing else exists

if something or someone dares to threaten your safety or take you away from him, saejima won't stop unless the threat's obliterated and you're back in his arms

not a very verbal person, but if you were ever hurt or sad, he'd hold onto you like letting go would make you disappear, mumbling over and over about how sorry he is that he couldn't protect you

will have a hard time letting you out of his sight after that - he doesn't keep you locked away, because he knows better than anyone what it's like to be trapped, but he'll pace your shared apartment restlessly like a caged tiger until you come back

🐅 NSFW 🐅

hard dom - the 'hard' part isn't even because he enforces any rules or kinks, he's just ROUGH

saejima always tries his best to be gentle and romantic in bed like he thinks you deserve... but he gets pussydrunk so easily

no matter how slow or fast he's going, his thrusts are ROUGH - he just needs to be buried as deep in you as humanly possible

i saw someone else say that he's probably pretty hairy down there and i definitely agree - he might give it a trim every once in a while if you complain, but otherwise he doesn't really see the point

i've talked about how hung he is before but let's get into the nitty gritty of that shall we :)

he's uncut, just under 8 inches long hard - but what's seriously most impressive about that monster in his pants is that he's thick as fuck

veiny, and always flushes a dark red when he's hard with a healthy amount of pre beading at the tip

he cums a LOT, too - it's always thick, and he doesn't really jack off when he's in a relationship so he's always saved up a lot

i'm not gonna lie, his cum probably tastes pretty bitter especially because he's a serial smoker

despite all his stoicism, it does not take a lot for him to get aroused

you could look at him a certain way or say a few suggestive words and he's already feeling his body grow hot

likes leaving hickeys and bite marks where other people can't see them - he's not shameless enough that he'll broadcast that you two had sex to the world, but it does satisfy him to know that his brand is on you where only he can see

regarding what i said above about him getting too grumpy when he's away from you for too long - be prepared for an exceptionally rough session when he finally gets you in his sights again

he always has to have some sort of grip on you - your hips, your thighs, your arms, your waist - it doesn't matter, just as long as you're in his grasp

he's not really loud during sex - his sounds are mostly limited to little grunts and growls

but just because he's quiet doesn't mean he wants you to be - in fact, he LOVES when you're nice and loud for him

he probably could cum from the sound of your pretty mewls and moans alone, honestly

no matter how soft or rough he goes on you on any given night, he always makes sure to hold you close afterwards, asking if you're alright

he'll get up to carry you to the bathroom to clean up or get you a glass of water once you've been smothered enough by his bear hugs

usually one round is enough to satisfy him, especially because he gets so sleepy afterwards - but if you REALLY rile him up, expect him to go at it again and again until he's run both you and himself into the ground :)

[vastill]

hii! i love your writing!

could you do Rebecca x fem reader angst where they have a kid (daughter) together and Rebecca forgets some kind of musical or performance by their daughter bc she has loads of work and it's not the first time so reader is pissed and they argue. please end it with some kind of happy ending!!

thank you so much!! take care!!

Forgetful

Rebecca Welton/fem!reader

warnings: angst with happy ending, curse words, let me know if there are more

words: 2000+

My requests are open!!

English is not my first language!

A/N: thank you so much for the request! and sorry for the wait, lately i have had some writers block:( but i hope you like it! let me know what you think!💚

“Rebecca, me, and Al are heading out. Don’t be late! Love you!” You left a voice message for your wife. “Alice, hurry up! You don’t want to be late!”

“I’m ready!” Your daughter excitedly said as she ran from the stairs. “Where is Mama?”

“I think she is riding from her office, she had some important meetings today. You know how it is nowadays.” You said giving your daughter a side hug to cheer her up.

Alice had a big match today, her team is going to play in the finals. Schools around the area agreed to hold a friendly competition in football for kids. Your daughter always wanted to play so given the opportunity she immediately jumped in. And now she played for Richmond Primary School with Phoebe.

“I can’t wait for her to see me on the field! I have been practicing extra hard! Even Uncle Roy complimented me!”

“Oh wow! I’m so proud of you little bean! Now I’m sure you will win!” You smiled at her through a rearview mirror.

The ride wasn’t long, and your daughter buzzed with excitement throughout the entire ride. Football was her element, she loved playing. And even more, she loved talking about it with your wife, Alice always wanted to make her other mother proud. To be honest you always thought that what pushed her into starting playing football was Rebecca owning a club. She was always surrounded by players and basically grew up with them must have made some impact on her.

“Okay, before you run away from me. Come here, give me the biggest hug!” You said to Alice. “I love you so much and I’m so proud of you! Go kick some butts, Al!” You kissed her head one more time and watched as she sprinted toward her teammates.

Starting to walk to the field, you grabbed your phone out of your pocket and called your wife, “Hey darling, we are here already, when will you arrive? Please call me back, love you.” You left her another voicemail.

“Y/N!” You heard a low voice call, when you turned you saw Roy and quickly made your way toward him.

“Roy, hi! Long time, how have you been?”

He greeted you with his growl. “Good. These fucking kids are keeping me occupied. You?”

“Pretty good. Working and taking care of little troublemaker over there. Nothing changed since we saw each other. How do we feel about today's game?”

“If they don’t fuck anything up then we will win but I have no fucking idea, they are fucking kids.”

“Let’s hope for the best, right?” He only left out another growl. “Excuse me for a minute, I need to make a call.”

You grabbed your phone out, only 15 minutes left to the match. “Rebecca, where are you? Please get here.” You left yet another voicemail.

You walked around the parking lot, trying to calm your nerves and distract yourself from worrying about your wife being absent. On your second or third lap, you saw a car pulling up, immediately rising your hopes up. But that wasn’t Rebecca's car, you sighed defeated.

“Oi, I have never seen someone so sad to see me.” You heard Keeley's voice. “Jealous, angry, turned on yes but sad? Never.” She laughed making you smile a little.

“Hi Keeley, sorry it’s not you. It’s wonderful to see you.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too. So tell me what’s going on?”

“Did you see Rebecca today? She is not here and I’m worrying that she forgot.” You couldn't help but check your phone again, hoping for a message or call from your wife.

“Shit, no, sorry babe. I know that she had some meetings today, but she will make it.”

“Yeah, I hope. I don’t know if I have more excuses. Al is really excited about this match and her Mama seeing her play. I don’t want her to be sad because of Rebecca's absence.” Keeley listens to your rant while you walked to the field. The match was planned to start in minutes.

----

And they won. Richmond Primary School won the first friendly championship with your daughter scoring one of the goals. The screams and shrieks of excitement were almost deafening. Girls from the team ran to Roy and jumped on him celebrating their win. You and Keeley clapped and screamed the loudest, happiness buzzing in your body.

Alice stood surrounded by her teammates, holding their championship cup ad smiling widely. You snapped a couple of pictures of her to keep the memory. But when you looked at your phone and there wasn’t any message from your wife, you felt only disappointment. How could she forget?

“Mommy! Mommy! Look we won! We won! Did you see me score that goal? That was awesome! Or did you see me doing that pass to Phoebe, and she scored her goal? Mommy that was so fun!” Alice ranted about the game and you were trying to keep up with her words. You saw that she was looking around, searching for Rebecca, and saw her smile slowly fade away. Damn you Rebecca.

“Where is Mama?” She whispered to you, her eyes tearing up a little.

You kneeled to her height, “Mama got caught in work, she really wanted to be here. And I know she is really proud of you! Just the same as I am. She will tell you that herself when you tell her all about that match.” You tried to cheer her up a little, but the tears that welled up in her eyes started rolling down. You were angry and disappointed, how could she forget about her daughter? You heard a few sniffles leave your daughter, “What do you think about getting some ice screams and junk food and watching films all night?”

“That would be fun, Mommy. But Emily and her mom invited the whole team to a sleepover and I don’t want to miss it, can I come? And we will have ice creams and films tomorrow.” Alice said, her excitement coming back a little. You couldn’t help but smile, how you loved this kid.

“Yes, of course, little bean. We will come home for you to change and pack your bag for a night and then I will drop you off at Emily's house, how does it sound?”

“Awesome, Mommy! I will be right back, I need to tell Emily I will be there!” She said and ran off to the field.

----

Rebecca was still not home when you came back. You checked your phone again and there was still no message or call.

As you sat on the couch a glass of wine in your hand, waiting for Rebecca, you tried to calm yourself down. You felt a mix of emotions - anger, disappointment, and sadness. Your daughter had been looking forward to this day for weeks, and you had expected Rebecca to be there to share the joy with you and Alice. But instead, she had chosen to prioritize work over her family.

You knew that Rebecca had an important job and that she often had to work long hours, but you had always made it clear that family came first. You couldn't understand why she had forgotten about the match and why she hadn't bothered to call or text to let you know that she would be late. You felt like she had let you down, and even worse she had let Alice down.

You knew that you needed to have a conversation with her about what had happened, but you also knew that you needed to approach the topic carefully. You didn't want to start a fight or make things worse, but you also didn't want to let her off the hook too easily.

Finally, after what felt like hours of waiting, you heard the sound of Rebecca's car pulling into the driveway.

“Honey, Al! I’m home!”

You took a deep breath and prepared yourself for the conversation ahead.

“Where were you?” you asked, trying to keep your tone neutral.

“Office, I'm sorry, I got caught up at work,” Rebecca replied, sounding tired. “Where is Al?”

“At Emily's. They have a sleepover.”

“So we have the house to ourselves?” Rebecca smirked.

“Do you know what day is today?” You asked trying to stay calm, you looked at Rebecca’s face and that told you everything, “You missed the match,” you said, your voice rising slightly.

“That was today? Fuck. No, no, no I had a reminder set on my phone.” She quickly said grabbing her phone from her purse. “FUCK! I put it on silent because I had meetings today. Baby, I’m so sorry, shit.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing, Rebecca. She was so excited to have you there, and you didn't even bother to show up. How could you do that to her?” you said, your voice trembling. “She wanted you to be there so bad, to make her Mama proud. For fuck’s sake she is playing football because she wants to have more in common with you. And you can’t even show up because of work?” you said, trying to control your anger.

You sat down on the couch, still feeling a mix of emotions. You took a sip of your wine and looked at Rebecca, who was sitting next to you.

“I'm sorry,” she said again, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know I messed up. I should have been there for Alice, and I should have checked my phone. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I forgot that.”

You nodded, appreciating her apology but still feeling hurt. “I know you're sorry. But this isn't just about today, Rebecca. This is about all the times that you've put work before our family. Alice is growing up so fast, and we can't get these moments back. These opportunities and memories are flying right in front of you. And you are missing out.”

Rebecca squeezed your hand, her eyes filled with tears. “I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to her and to you.”

“Yeah, I know but this doesn’t make everything better. You always are saying that you will be there for her next time and what? You had work. You can’t just make it up to us, you need to show up and be there for her, for us.”

“I know, you're right. I'm sorry,” Rebecca said.

“We agreed to do all of this together. I love you and I need you to put in some effort because I can’t do this alone. I won’t leave you alone with all of this, we're going to figure this out together. We are a team, remember?”

Rebecca nodded, her eyes filled with tears. “I know. And I want to make it right.”

“We need to come up with some kind of plan or schedule,” you said looking at her. “Something that will ensure that you are there for these important moments, no matter how busy you are.”

Rebecca nodded in agreement. “You're right. I need to find a way to balance work and family. I know. I messed up. I'll make it up to her, I promise,” Rebecca said, reaching out to touch your arm.

“And maybe we could get Al involved in the planning. She might have some ideas about what she wants to do.” You said, feeling a sense of hope.

As you talked things through, you felt a sense of optimism. You knew that it wouldn't be easy to change old habits, but you were both willing to try. You loved Rebecca, and you knew that she loved you and Alice. Together, you could work through anything.

----

The next morning, you woke up feeling a sense of determination. You were going to make things right with Alice, and you were going to work with Rebecca to ensure that this never happened again.

When you arrived at Emily's house to pick up Alice, you could see the excitement in her eyes.

“Hey, little bean,” you said, kneeling down to her height. “How was the sleepover?”

“It was great, Mommy,” she said, smiling. “We watched movies and played games all night. But I missed you and Mama.”

“I missed you too, Al,” you said, feeling a lump form in your throat. “I'm sorry that Mama couldn't make it to the game yesterday.”

“I know,” she said with a sad smile on her face. “But it's okay. I still had fun playing, and I know she will be proud when I tell her about the match.”

“I'm glad to hear that, Al,” you said, feeling a sense of relief. “And Mama is really sorry that she missed it. She is waiting at home for us and I think she has a surprise for you.”

Alice's eyes widened. “Really?”

“Really,” you said, nodding. “She's going to show it when we arrive.”

Alice excitedly told Rebecca all about the game as you walked into the house. She showed off her championship cup and the medal she had won, telling Rebecca all about the goal she scored and the pass she made that led to another goal. Rebecca listened intently, her eyes filled with pride and joy.

“I'm so proud of you, Al,” Rebecca said, hugging her tightly. “ And I'm sorry I couldn't be there to see you play, but I knew you were going to do great. I love you so much, my little troublemaker.”

“No worries Mama, I forgive you. I love you too.” Alice beamed at her.

You watched the interaction between Rebecca and Alice, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. You knew that it wasn't going to be easy. But together you can conquer everything.

As the weeks passed, you noticed a positive change in your relationship with Rebecca. You felt closer to her than ever before, and you could see that she was making a real effort to be there for your family.

One day, as you sat on the couch with Rebecca and Alice, watching a movie, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. You looked at your daughter, who was snuggled up between you and Rebecca, and then at your wife, who was already smiling at you. You leaned over and kissed her, feeling a sense of love and gratitude wash over you.

You knew that there were still challenges ahead, but you also knew that you were ready to face them together, as a family.

[nightmarerodent]

I really enjoy reading your headcannons!

Tell me, do you have like... Very sad once? About mk kids? 👀

I m sorry if my question sounds too cruel or rude--

Oh no worries, Honey. I love torturing my kiddos. 😁

Cassie has massive imposter syndrome and anxiety around her position as a leader.

When she was a kid, both her parents didn’t have a lot of time for her and she’d find herself alone or forgotten. Now she makes a big show of herself and constantly butts into her friend’s lives so they don’t get the opportunity to forget her. She’s lost several friendships/relationships because of this in the past.

Jacqui constantly strives for perfection trying to win her dad’s approval. She idolizes him and the fact that he doesn’t approve of any of her interests or career choices hurts like hell.

Jacqui and her father fight constantly about Takeda and the two love birds had actually split up a few times in the early days of their relationship because of it. None of these break ups ever lasted long but they hurt like hell when they were separated. After it became clear Jax was never going to change his mind she just stopped bringing the topic of Takeda up altogether.

If there was a contest for who on Earth has the most abandonment issues Takeda would win by a landslide. It makes him very clingy in his relationships. After being dropped off at the Shirai Ryu by his father, a man he’s only known for all of three days, and then never hearing from him ever again, Takeda’s tiny little 8 year old mind internalized that as there being something wrong with him and that no one wanted him. He closed himself off and it took years for Hanzo to get him to open back up again. Now he clings to his relationship with the Grandmaster and for the longest time refused to acknowledge that he was anything other than Hanzo’s son since he was the only person that never walked away from him.

This is also why he tries to be liked by everyone in the room. He doesn’t want anyone to leave him. He’ll joke, he’ll smile, he’ll mediate, anything to keep the peace and keep people happy. He’ll bury his anger until it’s safe to use it in a fight, and there’s a lot of it. The little voice in his head that wants to burn everything to the ground, friends and family be damned. They’re all going to leave eventually anyway. All they’re ever going to do is hurt you. Why not hurt them back? Why not hurt them first? It’s only fair. It might even be fun. He ignores this voice as best he can.

Jin has massive trust issues. He can never take anything at face value because the last time he did he was kicked to the streets for something he couldn’t control and had no say in. You can’t trust people and can only rely on yourself. People slow you down, it’s better to go it alone. Safer.

His pride is another thing. He’s been doing things his way for this long, clearly something is working. He doesn’t need to be told what to do because he knows how to handle things himself. These people don’t know what they’re talking about and they sure as hell don’t know him. If anything they should be following his lead. He knows what he’s doing. Otherwise they should just get out of his way.

Frost has nightmares. Nightmares about her mother. Nightmares about the fighting pits. About cold nights sleeping on the streets. About beatings and screaming and hateful words. Every time she wakes up in tears. Every time she feels so weak and small and helpless. She hates it. She has to be stronger. She has to be better. She has to prove to herself, to the world, that she is stronger. Better. She’s not helpless. She’s not weak. She’s better. Better than all of them combined.

[wifipunx92]

CyberPunk: Made in Night City #4

Daggerz:"Guess whos decided to rear their pretty little face back into my life?" *Johnny looks over at V with a smug look Johnny: "Lemme guess, has Judy finally forgiven you and come back into your life?"

Daggerz: "No you gonk! We both know that bridge has been burned. Shes not coming back... But that red head bitch Rachel for some reason messaged me with a acting gig. Pretty sure she also wants to fuck me, fucking fine ass corpo bitch. We'll see how that goes."

Johnny: "Oh? You in front of the lens? What are the odds. Y'dont seem like the acting type. *chuckles* What's the gig consist of?"

Daggerz: "Didnt get much into detail. Just said they wanted to film a modern take on the Akira incident from 2019. Said i'd be perfect as one of the leading roles. Most likely Kaneda." (*Gender roles dont exist in this universe.*)

Johnny: "Shotaro Kaneda. Son of a bitch that kid was. Got into it once with him and his crew when Samurai did a far east tour way back when. Kid was a punk with balls of chrome. Sad what happened to him and his choombas. Such a fucked up way to go out. Governments been tryna cover that shit up for the past 7 decades."

*V pulls out her pack of smokes. A Synnabis spliff seemed perfect for this moment. She put the spliff to her lips and sparked it up taking a big drag on the first inhale.

Daggerz: "Why am I not surprised that you had a run in with Kaneda. Is there more to this "Tall tale" or was it a brief encounter."

*She says as she passes Johnny the spliffy. He puts the butt of the filter to his lips and takes a quick drag, inhaling and holding in the smoke for a few seconds before exhaling.

Johnny: "Kid was a piece of shit gonk. Him and all his chooms. But like i said, they had balls. We were playing this local dive bar in shibuya. We were 5 songs into our set when this group of gangoons walked into the bar starting shit. Yelling, throwing shit at the stage, being obnoxious just like kids do. Got to a point where one of them chucked something at the stage hitting Kerry in the forehead almost knocking him out cold and of course Kerry being the hot head he is jumped up, walked over to them and decked the kid who threw the shit at him. Me, Kerry, Nance, Denny and Henry ended up squaring off with these dickwads which of course led to the promoter cancelling the rest of our set, kicking everyone out and closing up shop for the day. Kid disappeared after pulling a dagger out on me and i aint heard of him since. Not until the Akira incident." *He takes another drag before passing the spliff back to V.

Daggerz: "Fuck, thats some heavy shit Johnny. I know youre prone to trouble but damn. Getting into it with one of the kids from the Akira incident? Mind officially blown. Where were you when Akira struck again?" Johnny: "Cant really say or remember. That whole thing was a blur. Didnt hear about the incident until days later. Maybe i was spiraling out inna drunken rocker state. Who knows. But ill tell ya one thing, something about it bothered me. As if... I lost someone close to me or whatever. Strange cause that night was the only time i ever met that kid. Guess its just weird meeting a person who you think is insignificant in the world then all of a sudden theyre a big deal, front page news type shit know what i mean?" *V passes the spliff back to Johnny.

Daggerz: "Maybe you knew one another in a past life? Ooooor...maybe in a parallel universe you two are close chooms?

*Looking into the distance Johnny takes a long drag of the spliff and passes it back to V.

Johnny: "Maybe V. World works in weird mysterious ways. Who knows. All I know is the gonk went out trying to save his friend and that in my book deserves the upmost respect."

*V looks at Johnny and gives him a little smile

Daggerz: "Stop the press! Is Johnny Silverhand actually showing emotion and compassion for another human?!? Holy hell!😱"

Johnny: "Hey fuck you! I can be sentimental when needed. Not always a cold hearted shit. I can show emotion when needed." *He said laughing.

Daggerz: "Riiight, right. Okay Mr. Sentimental lets go. I gotta go down to Fourth Wall to meet up with this woman so she can tell me more about this shit. Maybe even get laid in the process."

Johnny: "Heh, we shall see. Probably gonna take an army to hold that bitch back from jumping on your meat stick."

*V shakes her head and laughs softly. Daggerz: "Alright shit for brains lets go."

[senseichaos]

Hey Sensei, glad to see you back 😊 I have a quick question, are you going to reupload the Valentino fic here? I really loved that fic, and I was so sad to see it disappear into the ether 🥺 Papi doesn't have too many fics. If it's too much trouble, don't worry about it

Hi!!! I'm actually planning on doing a big edit to Powerful/Powerless. Looking back there are a lot of things I want to refine and change to make it even better than the first time it came out! I might also add a couple extras and drabbles so you can learn more about your character and your relationship with Val.

I should hopefully be out with it soon. End of year stress has been kicking my butt.

Lots of love!

[ilovehugslikealotalot]

Hurtful Words

_°_°_°_°_°_

“Oh, come on, Rebecca! You have to like her, even a little bit!” Keeley teased, Rebecca huffed as she plopped back into her chair, “No. Keeley. I don’t like her, end of discussion!” she ordered, Keeley only smirked, “Rebecca…I can see you check her out from a mile away!” Keeley cackled at her bestfriend’s face.

“No, I don’t!” She blurted, “I don’t like y/n! I never have and I never will! Doesn’t mean that all the boys in the lockeroom or everyone else has a huge massive crush on her doesn’t mean I do! It’s nonsense! Y/n’s not my type anyway, I’m simply out of her league!” She defended, Keeley’s face softened a bit.

“You should tell her Rebecca, y’know, before it’s too late?” Keeley suggested, grabbing her unicorn planner and walking out Rebecca’s office. The blonde woman watched as her best friend left, she thought about it for a moment before slamming her laptop shut.

“FUCK” she screamed, rubbing her knuckles on her temples. She wasn’t necessarily the greatest with feelings. Or talking. when it came to y/n, she stuttered like a child learning the alphabet. She was seriously one of the most beautiful women she had seen. Just being next to her made Rebecca sweat.

“Dammit, Rebecca. You’re a big girl. You can do this. Put your big girl pants on and go for it” she mumbled to herself as she marched to y/n’s office. The club had been renovated so that there was more room for more coaches if they decided to have more which made y/n have her own office for the time being.

Entering the lockeroom she looked ahead not wanting to see any more butt cracks that day than she already had. “Boys” she greeted, “Ms. Welton” they replied.

She took a deep breath as she knocked on the main office door, “Oh, howdy boss! Great timing we were just talking about ya!” He smiled optimistically, gesturing to the so-called ‘Diamond Dogs’

“Actually, Ted, I came for…uh, y/n, actually.” Ted’s smile faded and had a quick rebound, “ooh, now isn’t that just romantic? But I dunno, she seems all fussy and sad so you could give it a try but we all did and she won’t spill” Rebecca looked at the door a look of concern on her face, “you got it cowgirl, just be yourself. She’ll value it more when she’s knows it’s the real you,” Rebecca nodded, flashing him a little subtle smile as a ‘thank you’ before walking into the conjoined office space.

“Hey, sweetheart. I wanted to see if you were, uhm, okay?” Rebecca asked, sitting adjacent from her. She sat perched up on her window seat, knees to her chest and small sniffles. “Go away”

“Sorry, love. I’m afraid I can’t do that” she smiled, moving closer she attempted to grab her face, “Don’t,” She seethed.

Rebecca removed her hand as y/n moved to sit on her couch, “Who did this to you, darling? You can tell me, I’m right here” she comforted, knowing that y/n didn’t want to be touched she stayed seated with her hands in her lap.

“You can stop now” y/n said, her voice was monotone, cold. Not like her usual bubbly self. “You’re upset with me? Aren’t you? Hm?” Rebecca cooed, crouching down on her knees so that y/n could look at her without having to get up from her seat. She gently lifted her face up, wiping the hot salty tears from her face, y/n sniffled. “Why are you doing this?” She cried, she looked hurt. Like a puppy that had been kicked. She looked tired, afraid, regretful. “Do what, sweetheart?” Rebecca asked, pushing some hair out of her face.

“You! It’s- -it’s like you own me! I can’t name a thing about you that isn’t perfect to me, I can’t sleep without thinking of you, I can’t think straight without eventually drifting to you, Every time I walk into the build I just have the urge to walk to your office and tell you everything! You own my heart, my soul, my being. I’d go crazy without you. I can’t imagine life without you, and I don’t ever want to!-“ Rebecca put a finger her mouth, “you heard me yelling to Keeley about how I don’t like you, didn’t you, Darling?” Y/n nodded her head, Rebecca sighed.

“I didn’t mean it. I do love you. Everything about you. I love that you get cold and steal my jackets off my office chair. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich because you want everything at once. I love that you scrunch your nose when you smile at me. I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. I love you, y/n y/l/n.”

Rebecca smiled faintly, placing a soft kiss on y/n’s slightly chapped lips, the smell of vanilla and caramel surrounded her as she slowly moved her hands up to her face. Y/n’s melted into the kiss, pulling away when they both ran out of breath. It took a few moments to realized what had happened.

she kissed her.

[darkshadows93]

Susan--- The Real Overlord of Cannibal Town

Ah, Susan. Everyone's most favorite hated person within the peaceful confines of Cannibal Town. A woman of... character, one would politely say. Having no filter at all. Susan carries the ability to heckle powerful Overlords, bringing them damn near their knees in frustration and telling them to go suck a duck without blinking. Susan can do it all.

How can she get away with heckling the likes of The Radio Demon? How was it that she hadn't been torn apart or consumed? How is it that Rosie is so complicit, only struggling to say polite words about the Hag? I tell you, why. I believe she is the true Overlord of Cannibal Town.

Now, this is only a personal headcanon of mine. We all know that Susan is the Hell's version of a Karen. We all know that she isn't liked, especially by Alastor (as seen in the Pilot when dressed Vaggie up in her outfit during his reprise).

That fact right there means that Alastor has been putting up with Susan's shit for a long time--- meaning that Rosie has been putting up with Susan's shit for even longer. She heckles everyone. She makes everyone uncomfortable and steps away from her. She may not have the deals or the magic that most Overlords. She has what Rosie has... she has pizazz and moxie. A charismatic cannibal who relies on her words than power. It is something that Rosie admires in a person, and perhaps it's the same from Susan. If Susan was the real Overlord of Cannibal, she would have chosen Rosie to represent her as a younger version of her self.

Overlord Mug: I would picture this mug having the phrase "Get Off My Lawn". A simple phrase from the older generations---until she is around Alastor and will reveal an image of a dead black and red deer with "Not Relevant" sign pointing at the deer at the bottom. A constant dig to Alastor.

Alastor: We don't know the history between these two. But we know it involves heckling and respect. Alastor can't seem or be allowed to harm Susan when he has had his fill. I can see Alastor being cocky and trying to prove why he's powerful and stuff, but it all took one look and her to say : "Yeah, when did anyone take a deer seriously, Bambi?" and it kicked off a feud of wits between the two. As seen in Episode 7, right at the start of "Ready For This," the original microphone is missing. As Alastor did not follow Rosie and Charlie off the stage, it is only assumed that Susan is the means she is, and Alastor threw it at her but couldn't get hurt.

The Battle at the Hotel: We know that Susan was there. We don't know if she survived, but as Alastor called her: "Ornery Old Bitch" it's safe to say that she is too stubborn to die and survived the attack. She thrives on being able to state her opinions. Like a Karen that won't give up over her incorrect order, Susan refused to die until she was ready to die--- which, unfortunately to Alastor, was never. She was one of the first survivors to emerge from the rubble. She was the first to bitch about the lack of fresh meat and demanded that someone find her an angel to feast on. But most of all, she was the first person that Alastor saw after he left his Radio Tower after getting his ass handed to him and to give him shit. Alastor could have easily snapped and ended her. But he can't. For some unholy reason, he can't end her right there and just stands as she is heckling him, ""Boooooo! Look at the great Radio Demon slithering out of the rubble like the baby he is!" or even a good line of ""Awww, Is the Big Baby sad that he got his butt kicked by an Angel?"

As we learn in our lives, Karens and Susans exist, and they are an undying breed. Like roaches, you can kill one, and another will take its place. Rosie and Alastor only deal with Susan, knowing that if they got rid of her--- she would always come back to bite them in the ass. That alone, is more powerful than any other power that an Overlord of Hell could have.

[burnwater13]

Cad Bane standing outside on Tatooine. From The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 7, In the Name of Honor. Calendar by DateWorks.

Note: This story was originally published on January 16, 2024. Since this story already mentions Cad Bane, it fits today's image. Plus a cold is just kicking my butt and my head hurts (properly medicated and expect to feel better tomorrow.)

Grogu only knew what the files at the Jedi Temple had said about Cad Bane and of course the few words that Daimyo Fett would waste on him when they were sharing gorgs after their fishing expeditions. The Daimyo was surprisingly good at fishing and Grogu was glad of that. His own dad was not very good, although he tried.

That had given Grogu the opportunity to ask the Daimyo about where and when he’d learned to catch fish, given that his dad was typically wrestling with lures, lines, and leaders most of the time they were fishing at the Pica Oasis. The Daimyo told Grogu about being raised on the ocean world of Kamino.

Grogu was really impressed by that. No place was going to offer better fishing that a world covered with an ocean. The Daimyo emphasized that fishing on Kamino was nothing like fishing at the Pica oasis. Some of the fish were big enough to swallow a human whole, according to his Mandalorian friend. Others, like the krill, were so small that even Grogu would need to eat dozens of them to have a decent snack. 

Eventually, the two of them got around to talking about the Daimyo’s father, Jengo Fett and the circumstances of his death. Grogu was horrified and apologized to his friend for the actions of the Jedi.

“I have had many years to consider what happened that day, little one. The Tuskens teach that when you are defending your family, your duty is to do everything you can, including giving up your life to protect them. That is what my father did and only a Jedi could end him. He did his duty by me. I bare no grudge to you for the actions of others. Your people paid an even heavier toll at the end of that whole mess. You and I have the opportunity to show people how we can be at peace with the past and work not to repeat it.”

Grogu had nodded and patted the Daimyo’s knee. Then his line tugged and he chirped in surprise. He had a strike! There was some sort of something tugging on his line and he began to reel it in, with the master bounty hunter coaching him through the whole process. It was an excellent example of cooperation, right up to the point where Din Djarin came over, got his big boot tangled up in the line and pulled the rod out of Grogu’s hands, whacking the Daimyo with it as he tried to untangle himself. 

“Din Djarin, have you ever considered that fishing is not a skill you possess and until you develop mastery of it, perhaps you should leave it to Grogu and I?”

Grogu thought the Daimyo was well within his rights to say, but considered Fennec’s brisk, ‘Mando, I didn’t peg you for this much of a klutz’ to be unnecessarily harsh. His dad had clearly not been taught to fish by any of the people responsible for this education. 

“You don’t become a master of things you don’t practice.” Grogu’s dad had complained at them.

“Now you sound like Cad Bane. Any little thing I didn’t do perfectly, I did until I was perfect at it. He regretted that at the end. Never teach your student enough to be the end of you.” 

The Daimyo had seemed both proud and sad about that as far as Grogu could tell. Fennec had told him a little about what happened when Boba Fett’s old mentor had ended up on Tatooine trying to ‘fix’ things for some syndicate or other. By ‘fix’ things he knew that meant threaten people until they agreed to do whatever they were told to do. It was very Sith-like behavior and Grogu could not imagine the Daimyo ever agreeing to such a thing. 

“Kid, you’d be surprised at the sort of things the Daimyo has agreed to do. Of course that was all before he was tossed into that sarlacc pit and then re-educated by the Tuskens. Cad Bane hadn’t planned for that and that’s where he failed. You never take on an enemy that you don’t know everything about.”

Fennec seemed to be grudgingly respectful of those changes. Grogu wondered why and asked his dad about later when they were getting ready to sleep. 

“Buddy, you remember that kid, Calican? He left Fennec for dead in the desert. I thought she was dead too. But the Daimyo? He checked. She wasn’t dead yet and he took her to the person who put her back together with those… uh… modifications. Boba Fett didn’t have to do that. He chose to. Because he was once left to die in the desert and the Tuskens saved him. That sort of thing changes a man and in this case for the better. Cad Bane went after the old Boba Fett. The bounty hunter. Who he met was Daimyo Fett, the better man.”

Grogu was just glad that he got to meet ba’buir Fett, the Mandalorian who knew how to fish. His father’s son. After all, being a bounty hunter and fishing weren’t all that different, from a certain perspective. 

[sugarsfics]

Overachiever

Summary: You are the oldest siblings and that takes a toll on your life. Now you are getting your taking your permit test, it doesn’t end in your favor but maybe your day will. 

A/N: This one if for my overachiever girlies. My longest fic so far. This is a little glimpse into my life, most of this was heavenly inspired by want happened when I took my permit test and what I was feeling and overall, how my family life is :/ 

Trope: Boyfriend!Eddie x girlfriend!reader 

Warnings: Hurt to comfort, cussing, crying, a little sexual, use of Y/N bad writing, Eddie being the best

Word count: 2.0k 

You can’t cross a double yellow line. Wait, yes, no, you can’t cross the broken line shit. Here you are studying for your permit test in the late hours, probably not convenient, but you need to study. Tomorrow you are finally taking the test, you feel bad for asking your parents or your boyfriend, Eddie, for a ride for God sake you are in college have a whole ass job and still don’t have you license. After a long time of thinking and figuring out how to do it, you made your appointment. It has been stressful to say the least. You were the oldest of four the “Guinea pig” the “third parent” the “brain” the last one is how they introduced you, who you knew that one trait could take a toll on you. They weren’t wrong, you were way smarter than your other siblings, but your parents put you on this high pedal still. Yes it was nice but they only showed their proudness in public, when you would tell them about a test you aced that you have been studying so hard on because that lesson was kicking your ass, they would look at you and say” “Ok that is what we except of you” and walk off or when you need help your dad would tell you “You should know this already” and then when you failed they made it a pity party all of a sudden wanting to help loudly. But when it came to your brother, the jock, when he came home with a C oh, they praised him, would throw a party. You never got that praise, that where your praise kink comes to play but that is for another time. But Eddie oh Eddie how he gave you the praise you needed that you crave in and outside the bedroom. (Teehee sorry) He was always the first to congratulate you on your A with a big kiss and a promised night of milkshakes, he was even so proud when you made the appointment for your permit test. He was a little sad because he loved driving you around but knew you wanted this. 

Your alarm wakes you up when you checked the time in big red color it read 8:30. Shit, your appointment is at 9 and it takes about 20 minutes to get there Eddie is already on his way shit shit shit. You hurriedly got ready brushing your teeth while finding clothes. You spit out then put on one of Eddie’s shirts and pair of jeans. As you button your jeans you door open “Hey knock-” “Oh hi babe” “Hey my girl late start” “Yeah” “Alright let's get you finished and get this show on the road” he grabbed your purse and look at your calendar “Hey babe what time did you say you appointment was at” “9:00 we got to get going” “It say 9:40 here” “What let me see” Yep you got the time wrong “Oh my god” you were wrong “I am so sorry I thought it was at 9 I-” he kissed you “It’s ok your mind as been going crazy lately good thing I check and good thing it was later not earlier now sit and take a breather” he said calmly. He is right just breath. You already messed up twice and it is not even 9. 

You both ate some breakfast then headed for the van. “M’lady” he bowed as he opened the door. Your curtsied back “Thank you kind sir” he tapped you butt as you hopped in. He made his way to his side “Ready” “Ready has I will ever be” you said nervously. You and Eddie jammed all the way to the DMV. You totally forgot where you were going until he made the finally turn into an ugly gray building. “Ok we are here do you want me to go in with you” “Please” you said weakly. He knew you were scared it was written all over your face, he grabbed and kissed your hand then hopped out to open your door. He held your hand the whole time, your number was called he walked up with you and let you give your information. You started to play with his hand you were getting nervous, the man told you where to go to take you picture your eyes widen. You walked back “Eddie I didn’t know they were going to take my picture” “You look beautiful and plus you are wearing an amazing shirt” he winked, you blushed you forgot you were wearing Eddie’s shirt. 

You got in line for a picture you fixed your hair every two minutes you didn’t realize until Eddie grabbed your hands “Stop you look amazing ok it is just a picture not going on your actual license” right you thought. You held on to Eddie until it was your turn “See you on the other side” he teased as he kissed your cheeks. You step on to the feet on the floor “Don’t move till after the flash” the lady said in a monotone voice. You held a little smile as it flashed, she handed you the paper “Go to number 6 and press start” Here you go Y/N you got this deep breath. You pressed start the first question popped up, you answered. Then your mind wondered seeing everyone face when you failed this seeing Eddie’s disapproved face. Then you thought about how everyone will act when you passed happy, Eddie was happy. Your life would start when you passed, as you answered more questions the more you doubted yourself before you knew it those words popped up FAILED. 

Your heart stopped you failed; you don’t fail. You did the walk of shame to the next man at the window you lowly said, “I um fail so” “Ok you have two more tries, study then make another appointment” and let you go. You failed. Eddie was sitting in the waiting room and making eye contact. You shook your head, he nodded and got up stretched and made his way to you. He put his arm around you and walked out together in silence. He opened your door and squeezed your hand as you went in. He took one look at you and said “Are you doing to cry” “No” you said weakly followed by a sniffle “Come here” he leaned over a brought you into a hug he heard your muffled I failed I failed I'm a failure “Hey you are not a failure ok you still have two more tries it took me 5 times to pass” “Yea but that’s you I don’t fail I pass the first time” “I'm not going to take that offensively” he teased “I'm sorry I didn’t mean that” “I just teasing I know what you mean” You mind was racing seeing all the different scenarios that could happen when you get home, there is one were they overly feel bad and then start helping, one where they look down upon you calling up stupid and telling you how it was common sense anyone could pass it, the last one oh how you hoped it was the last one they would console you and tell you that they were sorry that they didn’t help you and how they put too much on your plate will you were trying to study. Please be the last one. 

Eddie pulled into your driveway “Ok” he began “I got to get to work I will come by later night” “Ok see you then” he pulled you in to a passionate kiss “You are going to be fine my love plus I like you as my passenger princess” you nodded and headed your door; you waved as he left. When you walked in your mom looked at you, “So” she blurted “No I didn’t pass” please be last one. Nope he was a combination of the first and second one, it took you over an hour to get into your room because all you wanted to do was be alone. Your dad said his famous line 100 times “It’s common sense” that he asks you what questions you missed, like if you knew, you explained how the test work and you didn’t see if your answers were right or wrong, he told said you were wrong “that’s not the way when I took it” I JUST TOOK THE TEST he took it years ago. You lied on your bed and cried, cried until you couldn't breathe any more. As slumber took over you heard you window open and the scent of Eddie filled your nose, you were facing the wall, you hear him unbutton his pants and the chains clunking together when the fell, you heard him tripped over his on feet with a faint shit, your bed dipped as his big hands grabbed your waist and turned you over.  

What he saw made his heart break his girl his baby his love with red puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He brought you into his chest, rubbed your back and kissed you head, you couldn't hold back any more fat tears fell from your eyes as your body shakes “Yep let it all out” “I don’t understand” “What my love” “They make me feel as if I’m not good enough or too good I don’t know they- they make me seem like this perfect smart daughter then when I’m not all hell goes loose or when I am they give my nothing” you cried “I got into an university a fuckin university and I was the only one excited, you were excited, they told me that that is what the except of me so why celebrate” “I-I-I" “Relax ok I got you” Eddie interrupted “I just want to go away live my life without worry, not worry about how they would react or say” you added “Then let’s go” you sat up “What?!” “Yeah, let’s go run away me and you” “But you have a job and Wayne and-” “Pff I have enough money saved for us to go away for a while find our life...I have actually been thinking about it for a while so what do you say” you sat there for about 10 minutes and Eddies know you are thinking of every scenario possible “Yeah let do it” 

You and Eddie quickly grabbed clothes and pictures and anything else you might need. As Eddie snuck in and out of the window putting your clothes in the van you wrote a letter. Dear family, by the time you read this I will be out of Hawkins, maybe out of Indiana but I need to do this. I'm not sugar coating anything I am running away because of you guys, yes, I love you mom and dad and my siblings, but you are too much you put too much on me. I never got to live my life my “teenage years” I was either babysitting or cleaning or study then you would tell me to let loose stopping being uptight, so I did and met Eddie, then I was reckless and wasn’t acting right. I will never see as perfect in your eyes; I will never get that praise and love I need from you. So, I am leaving to find my life. I will always love you and don’t go looking for me, I will call when I am ready. -Love Y/N Tearing were coming again “Ready” Eddie said kissing your cheek. You nodded “Ready as I will ever be” Eddie helps you out your window and duct down to his van. When you got to Eddie place Wayne was there bringing you into a big hug. Eddie explained what you both were doing, and Wayne understood, he wished you good luck and called at every rest stop. As he left for his shift, he gave Eddie a long hug with words of encouragement and joked about getting his room back. After getting all of Eddie’s things together you snuggled into Eddie’s bed for the last time and talked about the future, sleep took over. Tomorrow will be the start of your life with the love of your life.  

[melonishus]

[Victoria felt her body pull downward with a vertigo inducing WOOMPH. Everything looked immensely bigger , including the other members of the Vortex Club, who now looked at her in confusion. She was a child in a very adult party]

Zack - Who let the brat in here ?

Victoria - Ex SCUSE me. I’m. Victoria MERIBETH Chase and I think

Zack - Shut the fuck up kid [pushes her against the couch] Go play in traffic or something

[Victoria sniffed and balled up the hem of her skirt as the other members of the Vortex Club ignored her. She had been ignored a lot when she was this age, and seeing people who had once worshipped her now IGNORING her ? It hurt]

[Victoria walked around , accidentally bumping into people’s legs , drawing angry swears as they tried to concentrate on their merriment, when suddenly]

Taylor - [quickly seizes her arm] What are you doing here ? This is no place for a kid

Victoria - I’m not a kid … [wipes eyes as they tear up]

Taylor - Oh Jeez . [awkwardly kneels and puts both hands on Victorias shoulders] Look, I’m just saying my friends here are playing big kid games . And they could hurt you by accident .

Victoria - They’re all ignoring me 😦

Taylor - [annoyed at them] I’m going to have to have a talk with people then [takes her hand] Let me take you somewhere safer. I think that Kate girl has sisters your age

[Victoria struggles against her grip]

Taylor - She’s a bit of a freak, but she knows more about this than I do. We’ll find your parents

—-

[Victoria threw herself on the ground when Taylor parked in front of Kates house]

Victoria - [throwing a tantrum] No , no ,no,no,NO

Taylor - [drags her along the ground] You’re getting your cute little dress dirty !

Victoria - Wait,wait,wait,wait, WAIT

[Taylor reaches the front door]

Victoria - STOP

[She knocks on the door and several seconds later, Kate Marsh appears]

[Victoria scrambles to her knees and hugs Taylor’s leg]

Kate - Who is this ?

Taylor- [shakes her head] Hey what happened ? You’re shaking like a leaf

Kate - [kneels by Victorias side, causing Victoria to try and hide her face] My names Kate , what’s yours ?

Victoria - [mumbles] …Maribeth …. [mumbles]

Kate - Mary Beth ?

Victoria - [about to argue]

Kate - What a cute name ^^

[Victoria was defused but still refused to talk as Kate took her hand and walked her inside]

Taylor - I don’t know where she came from , but I need someone safe to leave her with until the police can find her parents

Kate - This isn’t exactly ….

Taylor - Fuck Kate, just help this little brat ok ?

Kate - [picks up a doll off the ground belonging to her younger sister] Want to play with this ?

[Victoria held it at arms length and stared at it as if she were holding something g disturbing]

Kate - [calls out] LYNN ! MADELINE ! Get down here ! We have a new houseguest.

[The two little sisters walked out and looked at her with surprise. But little did anyone see….

Lynn- [makes a smug smile from behind a Madeline as she stares at Victoria]

……

[Victoria sat sullenly with a doll that Kate had picked up. She had to find a way to fix this disaster before anyone found out what had happened to her]

Lynn - [stands in front of her]

Victoria - What do you want ?

[Lynn slaps the doll out of her hand]

Victoria - HEY

[Lynn easily lifts her and slams her against the wall]

Lynn - You made my sister sad , and now I’ve got you right where I want you

Victoria - Wait …

[Lynn threw her]

Lynn - It was me [marches to her] I had to bring you down to my size before I beat you up

Victoria - [eyes watering] IM GOING TO TELL

Lynn - And let everyone see you like this ? In THOSE clothes ?

[Victoria got up and raised her tiny fists]

Victoria - I’m going to kick your BUTT !

- 5 minutes later -

[Lynn is sitting on her , pulling her leg back as far as it goes. Victoria is screaming bloody murder]

—-

Writing Requests are OPEN

Childhood Vengance AU

[therumpus]

Strong Women and Tenderness in Poetry: A Conversation with Caitlin Coey

by Jeri Frederickson

Through the strength of Ani DiFranco’s songs, Jessica Chastain’s ass-kicking characters, and a host of friends, Caitlin Coey’s debut poetry collection, Without the Cliff (Finishing Line Press, 2023) weaves strength and beauty to bolster the reader through the grieving and painful seasons of life. The poems explore complex memories and relationships through healing and beauty.

Coey is a queer writer whose work focuses on gender-based violence, mental health, queer love, and the importance of friendship. Her poetry names childhood traumas that many have experienced and reminds readers they are not alone. Coey’s poems resonate with the strength of friendships that guide folks out of dark nights of the soul. Her works reimagine what could have or should have been - and how to draw strength from the icons of our day. Her poetry has appeared in Shambles, The Roadrunner Review, Awakened Voices, Sad Girls Club, and The Heduan Review.

Coey and I met attending poetry seminars and workshops, and I have had the privilege to publish her poems in Awakened Voices, a journal for survivors of sexual violence. I spoke with her recently on Zoom to learn how these poems came to be and how she has cared for herself and her reader.

***

The Rumpus: Congratulations on your debut book! How did Without the Cliff  title come about?

Caitlin Coey: There is a poem in the book called “A Prayer for When Legs Crumble and Vision Blurs” and the last couplet is “make me Thelma and Louise without the cliff.” It's a prayer to myself about wanting to be strong. Something I do as a coping mechanism when I’m feeling disempowered is watch movies and TV shows where strong women are kicking butt and defeating villains. It’s comforting because I know it’ll end well and my body remembers what it is to feel empowered. 

Rumpus: The book ends on a poem with strong women and a prayer. You’ve offered coping mechanisms to the reader at the end.

Coey: The poem that ends the book now is a calming poem. It's a soothing poem. My goal was always to be mindful of not overly protecting, but not triggering the reader. I didn’t want to include anything just because it was difficult or because it was shocking. So, ending with a piece that's comforting is like giving the reader a warm blanket, and it lets the reader know that I, as the author, am okay too.

Rumpus: Why is it important to you that the reader knows the author is okay?

Coey: I come from a theater background and if you're an actor in a challenging scene, and you're not okay as the actor, the audience knows that. Then the audience worries about you instead of following the story and having their own experience. That's something that I really carry with me as a writer. I didn't want to shy away from anything, but I also didn’t want to re-traumatize anyone if I could help it. I know there's a big divide about trigger warnings, but I like to have them. At 34, I know what a lot of my triggers are, not all of them, but a lot. Even if there aren’t the words “trigger warning” or “content warning,” there are often breadcrumbs and you can sense what something is going to be and choose if you want to engage with it. To be clear—even if I end up being triggered by something I watch or read, I'm never mad at the person who made the art. But if there are intentionally no breadcrumbs and no warning of any kind, it feels like valuing the art over the mental health of the audience.

Rumpus: You begin the book with an Ani Difranco quote. Is this a way to prepare the reader and yourself for the sometimes difficult content in the book?

Coey: As many queer women do, I have a long relationship with Ani DiFranco and I love that song “If He Tries Anything” from the album “Out of Range.” It makes me feel empowered. I was probably listening to it during the writing of many of these poems. I wanted there to be those breadcrumbs. The dedication is to survivors. For me it functions as both a welcome and a content warning. For this book, I’m saying listen this happened to me, and I made it out of the bottom of the well, metaphorically. And you're going to be okay too. The only reason I was able to write any of this is because I had people around me who showed me how to get out because they’d been there too.

Rumpus: How did you know these poems all went into a collection?

Coey: I've been writing for most of my life—since I was ten—but it was sporadic. When I started going to therapy and diving into and uncovering the stuff that I talk about in the book and dealing with it, writing is what helped. The poems go together because they’re all a part of my healing process.

Rumpus: There are several poems that are letters to specific people in your life, but the reader gets to be someone who knows you and the person that these letters are written to.

Coey: I’m glad to hear that as a reader you feel let in by those pieces. I got some feedback a while ago that those poems shouldn't be in the book because they’re an inside thing between me and somebody the reader doesn't know. I was adamant they needed to go in the book because those people are very important to me.

Now there's a lot of books and surveys that talk about how friendship is equally as important as romantic relationships. But I remember a time when, and maybe it was just the atmosphere I was in, but friendship was looked at as a placeholder to romance. I’ve never agreed with that. I wanted to elevate the importance of friendship and show that a big part of what enables me to be okay enough to write about what’s in the book are the people I wrote letters to.

Rumpus: As a fellow writer, I was impressed with the beauty of the language that was in poems that include difficult subject matter. As a reader, it also felt like an elevation that holds everything.

Coey:  I have always dealt with complicated feelings with metaphor, even before I knew what a metaphor was. As a kid, I had a lot of really complicated feelings, but I didn't know how to describe them. I can remember being asked, “Do you feel sad? Do you feel happy?” I was always like, “That's not enough; those aren't enough words.” I still have trouble as a 34 year-old identifying my feelings sometimes, which is a result of things I talk about in the book. So, I use imagery to express myself and to understand how I feel and what I think.

Rumpus: This beautiful language also extends through the First Kiss series.

Coey: The first one I’d never written about before because it's about a coercive experience. I was always mad that was how my first kiss went. And you know, you can get into conversations with friends about first kisses and what they were like and it’s supposed to be fun. I would always have to decide if I was going to say the real thing or pick something else. And that just makes me so mad and sad for myself. So, I wrote what I wished instead, which is where the redux poem comes in. The other First Kiss poems are those alternative stories. I liked the idea of surprising the reader in an exciting way with those stories. I’m reframing the experiences and choosing what I want to tell in the moment.

Rumpus: Is Without the Cliff telling the story you want to tell?

Coey: Absolutely. I hope people feel less alone. Maybe one day we won't have to say this anymore, but writing about trauma isn’t just therapeutic, it’s valid artistic material. Even ten years ago, I can remember feeling like my work didn’t have a place in the literary world, and that could have been my specific bubble, but I don’t think so. With that idea resounding in society, it can be hard to keep writing about these difficult things, to remember that your voice is important. That’s what I want people to know. Don't listen to the critic in your head saying you don't matter or that nobody wants to hear it because it’s not true. Your story is valuable.

________________________________________

Jeri Frederickson is the author of You Are Not Lost, available from Finishing Line Press. She is the Creative Director of a nonprofit arts organization in Chicago whose mission centers survivors of sexual violence. She graduated from Antioch University Los Angeles with an MFA in Writing.

[wqxianvents]

// CONTAINS COMMENTARY AND PICTURES OF TEARS OF THEMIS NEW EVENT: “ENDURING LIGHT.”

This is only the Prologue section I talk about in this one, aha and I ALRWDY HAVE SM TO TALK ABTR

first of all, another group event of course, you love to see it and they’re being dorks but in a cooler way already 💃 also btw happy new year!! hope it’s been treating y’all well already :]<3

okay so i’m going into this event basically being sus of everyone at this point LMAO, i don’t even trust our boys tbh - anything could happen and i’m excited! everytime there’s a big event i always am like “ugh… not another one i have to drain energy into and it isn’t even that interesting” (respectfully). like the last one on the train? i didn’t really care much about it, the only things that interested me were nxx being all up on eachother (exaggerating)

basically i prepare myself to be disappointed, which might sound messed up but tbh the events have only been hittin recently (for me) because of the fact that they’re not having nxx be at eachother’s throats lol. (not saying the past ones weren’t good though and that none of the recent ones were a miss bc again, i didnt fully enjoy the train event)

this one already had me though 😭 got me gagged, the ui is so fucking cool - the card system?? the OUTFITS make me wanna CHOMP my phone (esp luke’s… smth- smth abt it is just. hm, delectable). also baby davis always appearing is so cute his little “hello, miss… uh, i mean, little boss!” LMAO that is my son!!!

ANYGAYS we always have to start off with Marius talking about something going on ‘round town, intended to invite his lovely lady but of course the boys have to interrupt and say hey, where is our invitation??? 🤗 you love to see it

jxjddh “i didn’t ask you guys” LMFAO HE IS SO DONEEE - artem, vyn: “oh really? let me hit you with this comeback. give me my invitation.”, like why are they so angy ARENT YALL RICH? GET YOUR OWN INVITATION 😭😭 i just adore the difference here though like, luke is the one purely excited here and not just “oh, aha, trying to get alone with rosa? how about: no.” but vyn is like 😭 “okay, shit, thanks for the invitation, marius.”

ARTEM MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS BY HIS COMPUTER AND DECIDING TO INSERT HIMSELF INTO THE CONVERSATIONNN. they’re silly billies.

of course we needed our typical marluke banner 🥺

“Without us, who would you team up with?” did he just call marius friendless or can i also mix that with delulu poly nxx and add a hint of, “bitch who else are you planning to invite? we are RIGHT here” LMFAO

“Luke, are things at work slow lately?” 😭😭😭 i have tears in my eyes u were gonna invite him anyway shut up

i want a group event where the guys don’t butt in just to see if marius invites them anyway HAAHSJS like he just has the stuff ready for the boys just in case they butt in again, but one time they don’t and he’s just confused 😭

kicking my feet, he loves them all dearly. they’re my babies, my lil ol family!!

ANYWAYS… we’re here. Li Hotel 🤨 && again, the wayyy i was entranced with everything omg obsessed obsessed. BY THE WAY i already suspect that the letter-friend is reporter pearce 🤨🤨 don’t ask me for proper reasoning besides the fact that they reveal the letter-friend is a guy LMAO

&& shares the same life goal (wanting to travel around the world) as little boss 😔💜 but who knows…

alright last two things ✨ nxx boys lowkey teasing rosa by being in character HAHAHDJ (NOT ME POSTING THE WEONG PICTURE AND MAKING MYSELF SAD)

same, rosa, same 😭 (and the invitation card?? zoo wee mama- the way that marius was the only one who kept his eyes on rosa thoughhj hejeejnffk GRRR. okay sorry. NAUR and the luke stare 😔 marluke strikes my heart once again!!! WHY IS VYN ALL THE WAY UP THERE BTW)

anyways. last but not least, this isn’t technically apart of the prologue but it’s when Davis takes you on a little tour as always to show you the event and there is one part where you can have discussions with the boys. you click on luke by default but the first conversation option you have, he talks about this:

&& this actually made me tear up pretty bad 😭 then i had a whiplash and went “OHH THE FUCKING CARD” LMFAOO,, LIKE WHY WOULD HYV DO THIS TO ME 😞 i love the parallels luke always has with his au cards though ugh, makes me depressed in the right way(??)

like his birthday card (the name is itching my brain, i can’t remember) and in his bday event there was a mirror and sword (i believe) that appeared 😔 now this… sobbing throwing up, do NOT TOUCH ME

ARE YOU TELLING ME HE ACTUALLY DIES IN THE CARD STOOFPFPFDB??? THAT HE DOESN’T SAY HE LOVES HER? WHAT IS THIS. punching the floor. DO THEY ALL DIE? I THOUGHT ARTEM AT LEAST LIVES…. AM I MIXING UP CARDS…. see what this event is doing to me already 😔

ojay. i’m done here, had to write the thoughts out brrr, imma go finish reading the event now 🌚 toodles (unless u can read the vyn spoiler below)

HUGE CARD SPOILERS BELOW: VYN [MEDIEVAL SUSPENSE]

OHHbajdhd and adding on why I’m not trusting anyone - even our boys - in this event is because this event reminds me too much of a card that Vyn has. A group of folks in this card are acting and Vyn’s character ended up being the killer. I won’t leave my thoughts on the card but this is why I’m sus of everyone 😔