#the bed feels bigger
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This hit so hard right in my heart. Drawn by @bobstropajo
#ldr couple#after a weekend with you#the bed feels bigger#already missing you#t'estimo š¤#healthy love is a thing#long distance relationship#mood#the bed is not long enough for you anyway xD#still working our way to spend every night together#god i love u so much
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at last....yakumo with CHIKEN
#i have finally achieved Goal. i drew yakumo with a happy chickcen#legitimately there were several moments of me redrawing yakumo's eyes and yelling#nO! THEY'RE NOT UWU ENOUGH (makes the irises bigger) WAIT . TOO UWU (makes irises more oblong)#WAIT!! NOT MONSTROUS ENOUGH (narrows the pupils) SHOULD NOT HAVE MORE EYELINER THAN FOXY GRANDPA (shrinks the lashes)#did u know that chickens like to sleep on tall things? the higher they are the safer they feel? (according to my cursory internet search)#so i imagine when yakumo finally grew taller than the chickens' roosting spots#some of them started just napping on yakumo any time he came to clean the coop#and he'd be so scared of waking them up that he'd try to do his chores in the tiniest movements ever#several hours later grandma checks in on him bc hmmm! he's taking longer than usual!#sees him covered in birds+bird poop and he's aaaallllmost done cleaning with his restrained broom sweeps#(birds don't stop pooping just cuz they're sleeping u see. how productive)#that's a cue for grandparents to move the roosts higher . bc yakumo doesn't have the heart to shoo the birds off him#he needs to get things done! becoming impromptu bird bed for 3 hours a day is not sustainable!#it's all for the good of chiken anyway. happy chicken happy life#nu carnival yakumo
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Trying to get pics of your pets be like
#pets#animals#photography#snakes#reptiles#I can only do it when THEY decide to do it#It can only happen naturally#APPARANTLY#I did get an okay one#Posting that tomorrow :3#in their defense Scoria was tired and wanted to go to bed#And Sakura just got out and wanted to play#As tired as Scoria was she went in her little house and watched out the window to make sure her sister and I were okay for several minutes#before going to sleep#She knows Sakura feels safer with her around#and gets scared of me without her sister to comfort her#The fact they regularly comfort each other#and are much calmer and relaxed and happier#Is why I let them socialize as much as possible#However not all hognoses will like each other and some even eat each other#but that a whole can of worms that I think has a lot to do with husbandry#and a bigger topic than tagspeak secret messages
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hello all, i really don't want to ask, but having covid is most definitely making me work slower than usual. since freelancing is my only job, i've got really limited income while i'm sick. if i could get a little help so i can get easy to make / eat foods today, it'd mean the world ;__; thank you square tips / kofi
#i colored in a milo i had linesd a few days prior last night. was spossed to be a warmup#it took me almost 6 hours#and i ended up going to bed with a bigger headache than usual#so i'm going to try and be light on screentime today#delete later#i'm feeling. so bad. better than day one but not as good as i'd hope on day 3#hh
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Ok, I'm burnt out, pretty grumpy, and having a really hard time, so I'll be turning asks off for awhile. Posting will be more sporadic. I know I don't have to announce things like this, I figure I'll let people know so they don't think I'm ignoring them or anything. I'm just having a shit time, y'all.
Take care, everyone.
#personal#blog post#sorry for literally just coning back from a posting a break and leaving immediately after#shit just really fucking sucks today#I've been having a shit time throughout this entire move#but the moment we got on the road and the moments after have been fucking hell#i didnt sleep well most of these nights either#as I've been sharing a bed with my mom#and she's used to a bigger bed so she keep stealing blankets and kneeing me in the side#I'm just having a shit time#even spirituality has veen difficult lately#i haven't been able to feel the presence of any deities and that's been reallt hard#because it feels like I'm praying without reason sometimes#but i try to push through those feelings#but i also just feel bad that i keep asking and asking for hwlp without being able to give offerings atm#i just don't feel well#and there's not much i can do about it
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skyglow:
(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)
#photography#Ford's Art#color says shit#it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option.#b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated.#I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right?#anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good.#the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia.#and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood.#yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it.#anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao.#also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it.#I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it.#anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently.#between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good.#I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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ok ok im thinking about ace fx having a crush on MQ and they're friends it's chill for 800 years and FX is very happy with it because no one is going to take his place with MQ since their relationship is pretty unique and special with all the fighting and working together amazingly and it's not like MQ is going to get a love interest with his cultivation but then XL returns and the book plot happens and MQ mentions switching cultivation paths because XL seems happy not having to worry about the abstinence stuff and it does seem like a troublesome criteria when there are so many other paths open to take on instead BUT FX is like. NO. he keeps arguing on it. he comes up with reasons that make a bit of sense but really he does not want MQ to consider potential love interests because they're not going to be him!! fx doesn't want anything to do with romance either but if mq isn't going to have his vows in the way what's stopping him from being *more* friends with other people? what's stopping him from finding someone to have sex with and obviously that person will mean more to him than FX will? he does not want to lose his friend :(
#meanwhile MQ wanted to not have to worry about like 10 other things that are on the criteria list because like#he would like to have a drink every now and then because fx does it and he doesn't get to drink with him bc of the cultivation#like very much the cultivation comes up and feels he has to bail on friend activities but FX... doesn't want him to not do that????#MQ like what does he mean who would want to sleep with me does he think no one would want to>????? FENG XIN???????#they get to fight about it and FX can cry#idk#MQ says he wants to change cultivation since most officials don't even follow a path and they're fine#and FX just loses it he is shaking sobbing cannot sleep knowing MQ is going to go out there and do stuff in the world#XD#let him be a little possessive and sad as a treat#let him lay catatonic in bed knowing everyone he has ever loved left him behind#tgcf#fx like no NO!!! do NOT let mq out of his enclosure!!! don't DO IT!!!!!! ššš he is my friend ššššš#mq lowkey hinting that he thinks he could *like* people and it'd be a nice weight off his shoulders and fx is writhing around#thinking that's twice as bad because the potential dating pool is bigger#fx thinks if mq is glad xl is happy then it means he must like women (he's not like fx) and maybe even men? (he's not like fx)#and it kills him inside#it's not that he wants MQ to be lonely and loveless forever but he thought they both had a good thing that they could be that way together#that maybe MQ would be just as happy as him and that would be enough but of course it isn't#FX should have known better
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I've heard there's heated debate on this topic but I Do Not Care, I formed a solid opinion the first time I saw one of his win screens
^ This guy HAS to be 15 ^
#my skin deep observation is that he looks a lot younger than the rest of the cast#his design uses a lot of rounded shapes aroud his face like how his glasses and how his hair sits#but he also reads as a lot smaller than the other fighters. they emphasise that a lot about him in my eyes#obviously the bed does a lot of work but even outside of it he feels like he's designed to draw attention to that#his outfit being so simple and the markings on his arms and legs kind of like. draw your eye to how small he looks if that makes sense?#there's no attempt to make him look bigger outside of the bed despite how puffed up he acts from what I've seen of him#it feels very intentional yk?#speaking of how he acts that is my crux. this guy acts 15 and I won't accept otherwise because OOF I acted that way as a know it all 15 y/o#I don't know- I just can't not read him as *young* from his design and the few lines I've heard from him#also you may notice I didn't use his name this whole post-#well thats because this ramble was prompted by another post I saw-#apparently there's a weirdo you can summon like beetlejuice if you mention him#and I'm not trying to get involved with that- I just wanted to ramble a little bit about how I see him so far#because I find him interesting! and a bit of that is definitely from how put together he's trying to present himself#but because of how he goes about it I can only read him as someone who is young and desperate to be taken seriously#anyway- I'm done talking about characters I don't know now!#sorry if I'm off base about any of this#yappin'
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Highly recommend a double duvet in a single bed, I feel like I'm the small animal in those drawings where they're super comfy in bed. 10/10
#as i was unfolding the duvet and putting the duvet case (...?) on it I kept thinking it was a terrible idea#like. too big! it's gonna be too much duvet! i'm going to die smothered by it!#but actually now that i'm chilling in bed it's Comfy#i always feel like i don't have enough duvet with a single-sized one#this one is a nicer ikea duvet with feathers in it i used last year when i had a double bed#and it is a clear improvement over my old synthetic one even if you discount the size#which you shouldn't cause it's a really cool#dare i say i understand omega nests#it feels like being 8 and curling up in my duvet pretending to be a small animal. genuinely#except i'm adult sized and so the duvet needs to be bigger to replicate the effect#but it's working. highly comfy#we're sleeping soo well tonight#wow i have a ramble tag now
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put leo in a fit so fine i couldn't keep going with the gpose.
#THIS FEELS LIKE A BIGGER PROJECT#he looked too good to use on a single glamtober !#augh. okay oof.#i need to go to bed#gg txt
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So, some time ago I tried to write an anthology of multiple oneshots about relationships with Mynahs. And upon opening the abandoned document I get greeted by this first paragraph:
... Well, I guess I failed, because I couldn't even finish one. I struggle with word order and expressing correctly my thoughts even when speaking in my native language, so I'm not surprised š
That being said, I like this opening bit for the Sieben x Beo one:
#but yeah I think i'll stick to drawing/animating#the plot of this one pretty much Beo going āNooooo Sieben please don't kill anybody! I'll lend you my bed so you can get some restā#and over time#Sieben sneaking into the mines to take naps more often at the mnhr dorms because the beds are bigger and comfier#specially Beo's#the vibe it's pretty much a sleepover where Sieben is the last one to fall asleep and she feels very awkard about it#oh god once i'm not sleep deprived i'll regret having posted this but whatever#my ramblings
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for anyone else out there struggling with insomnia, I'm sharing this just in case it helps anyone else: my doctor suggested 5 mg melatonin for me. It didn't make me sleep better and also gave me pretty bad side effects like having brain fog the day after, like I was completely unable to think and my reactions were slowed down to the point I would've been a danger in traffic. but I switched to a lower dose of 3 mg melatonin and not only do I have no side effects from that dose but ALSO IT WORKED. I've actually consistently slept 7-8 hours for the past week since I switched dose. I don't know the science behind that but lowering the dose worked better to put me to sleep.
#really hoping this lasts haha... ha... could just be coincidence... temporarily sleeping good....#but i have some amount of hope that the 3 mg melatonin pills could be something i could use temporarily#when i'm in these shitty insomnia periods#i take them about an hour before i want to sleep#spend the first half hour brushing my teeth doing my skincare routine etc#then the next half hour after that i'm chilling in bed until i start feeling sleepy#about an hour after taking them i just start feeling comfortably sleepy and relaxed#i feel like it calms my brain down and makes it Shut Up#this past week i haven't spent any time in bed with brain active just Thinking... my brain gets calm and sleepy instead idk#and it's not a creepy drowzy drugged feeling either just comfy tired#i know melatonin is super common in some other countries and is regulated as a supplement in the us so maybe this is old news to people#but it's regulated as a medical drug here and not something most people use or might know about#like before 2020 you even needed a prescription for it#now you only need a prescription to get bigger boxes of it here
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#i feel wretched#as if my whole body's been caught in a current and bashed into every rock and rusted can and broken bottle on the river bed#i am nauseous as fuck#i could not sleep last night and cannot sleep currently#and someone just booked to view our house tomorrow#so i quite literally just rolled off my bed and crawled through the house trying to tidy as much of my art and Xmas and travel shit as i can#while my wife does the bigger cleaning jobs#and i do not have the energy for it. because no sleep. and also i technically have no food in me. do with that what you will#and i think i'm getting a fever again but i'm just pretending it's not happening because i want to shower and get into my pyjamas#and all i wanted to do today was write but i havent been able to#and i wanted to cook a nice dinner but i cant do that either#im gonna try and eat a BISCUIT in a minute and see if my stomach can bear it#and i keep forgetting that i'm overdue my period so that's definitely on the horizon#anyway if the person doesnt put an offer in tomorrow i may genuinely curl up in a ball and cry like a baby#i know this is tmi and i complain way too much btw. this is as brave as i can be about it#anyways im off to crawl to the shower#tbd
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#Sevenās Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw negative#cw health issues#āYouāre such a heartless and hateful person.ā well have you ever considered that iām not really a hateful person and i just hate You#like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so youāll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want#āThat 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.ā MF that was made TODAY. ITāS FRESH AND THEREāS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT#if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it#dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache#i feel sick too but i know itās my fault so iām not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting#food. because you act like youāre fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and thatās why I feel sick#but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so weāre sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when itās my fault#everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and thatās My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasnāt enough#for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so iāll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dogās teeth need#cleaning too and thatāll come out of my pocket and i guess thatās My fault for not taking care of him either#i think i have another goddamn UTI and thatās definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i canāt use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess thatās my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position#my eye keeps twitching and i guess thatās my fault too. i donāt know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired#god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if theyāre packed in a way that shows whatās inside then iāll have to explain#That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night#the living room floor is caving in so now thereās Two roomās floors that need fixing so thatās super fucking fun! š#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis#well i donāt Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that iāll go to all this trouble and theyāll say i donāt qualify#and god itās NYE now. Besties iām not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just canāt make myself write these days. iām sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now iāve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but#thereās just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what iām gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.
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not my gf saying that I should post a gofund me to get a bigger bed for the 3 of us
#moss lost their job so saving up for a bigger bed is going to take a long time#it feels silly to ask for help w that though#a full w 3 people (2 of which are somewhat larger and prone to overheating) is not convient BUT. life finds a way š«”
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