#the background highlighting the two faces that are melting together so beautifully

[king-of-the-birds]

"I’m not sure I do feel I belong to myself. There are two sides to me. (...) I’m very conscious of my duality in lots of ways, sort of like a split personality. I’m always conscious of that debate between the two selves. Like black/white, day/night, dull/bright." - Paul [Guardian, 2001]

"I'm trying for music that isn't too romantic, yet contains a romantic thing. I personally don't like things to be too cute - except babies. My music comes off best, I think, when there's hard and soft together." - Paul [1971]

"When you’re a kid you think things will be straightforward, but when you’re older and you’ve experienced more, you realise it’s an everlasting war between good and bad." - Paul in The Lyrics

The other me would rather be the glad one The other me would rather play the fool But I want to be the kind of me That doesn't let you down as a rule "The Other Me" [written in 1982]

Paul has an artistic side that isn't level-headed, and I like that. Most of his down-to-earthiness comes from living with a good family. He was taught good values. His inner talent is just there. He also has his mad side, but he saves it for home. His mind is amazing. Although his roots are earthy, he's up in the sky on other things. - Linda [1989]

“Paul is like a beautiful two-headed monster." - Donovan [Mojo interview, 2008]

"I mean I love the idea that there are two people in my head. Well, at least two."  - Paul in The Lyrics

Self portrait by Paul McCartney

[let-the-valleys-awake]

I watched Across The Spiderverse yesterday, here are my two(hundred) cents!

This will just be a lot of me gushing about how much I love ATSV, no theories because I’m not smart enough for that 💀

ATSV SPOILERS!!

ATSV SPOILERS!!

Alright, let’s get into it. (These are in no particular order and I prob forgot a lot of stuff)

Am I the only one who thought Hobie was a whole ass adult? Like he looks at least 20 am i crazy? (Keep in mind I have no prior comic knowledge sorry bout that 💀)

THE ANIMATION STYLES!!! Omfg they were so good, like the occasional live action elements, the LEGO UNIVERSE, Hobie’s whole thing, it’s all just so fucking cool!! Especially the comic book textures with like the shading and rough line art it’s all just so fun to look at

I kinda hate Miguel but I gotta be honest he is SUCH A GOOD ANTAGONIST. Like he has good intentions (I think) but goes way overboard due to past memories. He isn’t truly evil, he just projects all of his past mistakes onto Miles. He is just barely in the ‘I don’t like you’ category for me but what he did to Miles was wack so he’s staying there.

If I had to pick a favorite, it would be Spider Punk. I’m just a sucker for cool characterization and ‘mess shit up’ people. His big brother dynamic with Miles is just so fucking fun dude. I also just like listening to his voice, bravo to Daniel Kaluuya, he did a great job. Also I heard that just Hobie’s animation alone took about 2 years to do (could be lies)

Pavitr was 🤏this close to being my favorite. If he got more screen time he defo would’ve been my number one, because HOLY SHIT he is the silliest mfer I’ve ever seen. I love the detail on his suit and when he uses his bangles as like yo-yos. And his banter with the other three was just so cute. Like when he went ‘Another easy win for Spider-Man-‘ and everything fucking explodes, I was cracking up 😭😭

The marketing and like almost non-existent foreshadowing for the Spot being one of the main antagonists was so genius!! Like the trailers painted him as just a random guy Miles fought, because that’s how he saw him! As just another d-list villain!! Also The Spot’s lines are so funny dude, and his voice-acting, like the pinnacle of Average Joe™ but he also shares a VA with Ash from Fantastic Mr Fox soooo

I SAW 20 SECONDS OF SUN SPIDER AND I AM BEGGING FOR MORE she’s so fun

In the scene where Gwen n Miles are sitting together upside down, there’s a shot where they are just tiny in the corner and it’s just the whole cityscape, and it is one of my favorite shots in the whole movie, it was so fucking beautiful. The two are small and upside down to show how ostracized and different they feel from the rest of society. (because they are) But, a minute later, it flips so that the two are sitting right side up while the cityscape is upside down, which symbolizes their bond and how they find solace in each other.

I love how the background fades and melts as Gwen is having the confrontation with her Dad near the end. I can’t remember any specifics because it’s been two days since I saw it, but it was so telling how everything melded together except Gwen and her Father because that’s all Gwen could think about.

I thought the movie was PG but they cursed at least like three times so that’s fun

MILES WITH BRAIDS 😍😍 honestly I can’t tell which style I like more, they both match each version’s demeanor so well.

The way I could immediately tell in earth-42 at the end that something was up with Uncle Aaron. But like, aside from the fact that he was alive 💀. His face was constantly casted in shadow with his eyes highlighted, if I remember correctly I think they were purple tinted as well? These not-so-subtle art choices were so beautifully crafted to give me just the right sense of unease.

I really wished they did more with Jessica Drew. I just feel like she was kind of a blank slate with no truly discerning personality. I did like her internal conflict with following Miguel’s orders and doing what’s right. I really hope she has a larger role in Beyond or I’ll be sad.

The themes of teenage relationships are so fucking powerful in this movie and I think that’s beautiful. Neither Miguel nor Jessica supported Miles, or even Gwen. All of their comfort came from each other. Hobie, Pavitr, Gwen, and Miles’s bond is so strong because they are all truly there for each other.

I am so disappointed that we didn’t see any Spider Noir. He was one of my faves in the first movie 😭

Hobie + Pavitr has gotta be one of my favorite duos. Especially in Hobie’s debut scene where they’re roughhousing, their dynamic is just so cute. I’ve seen people ship them and I’m not against it, I just can’t see Hobie as anything more than a big brother tbh

That’s all that comes to mind right now, hope you enjoyed my word vomit. I have so much more stuff to say but that will need a rewatch, I’m gonna go to bed

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

MTV Unplugged presents: BTS

by Admin 1

What a time to not only be alive, but also be ARMY with BTS taking the MTV Unplugged stage on February 23rd 2021 as the first Korean artists in history to do so. It’s another marvelous achievement on the already highly impressive list BTS have to their name, another mark they’re leaving on history and another piece solidifying their place among musics greatest, at least if you ask me and everyone else who tuned in and was left extremely impressed and emotional, a mix of euphoria, emotional rawness, but also a sense of warm, soft, and gentle comfort and hope.

With this gorgeously put together setlist they’ve also proven, once more, that even when you take away all the high budget stadium stages, the dynamic and explosive choreographies and the fancy music video editing, and just focus on their craft as musicians and their most valuable instruments--their voices--BTS can stand their ground easily. Their talent and passion is unmistakable and shines brightly in all these songs, four of their own and one cover.

The performance was shown simultaneously on dozens of MTV stations across the globe, some watching on TV and others via official live streams, and yet others catching up with what they missed hours later. All the promo, hype and attention paid off and they showed that it was all worth it, that they are more than worth it, and that we as ARMY have every right to be proud of them and be proud of being ARMY.

So, let’s do what I love doing most and talk about each performance, shall we?

What an absolutely delightful, happy and funky way to open the show and introduce new listeners to just how fun BTS can be. The stage was one giant room filled with lost of little details, including a motorbike with a second passenger extension, arcade games, a football game, and a sofa. Right from the get go there’s this joyful aura around the members, smiles on their faces, little dance moves making their steps light and fun--they were having fun and subsequently we were, too.

How wonderful is it to also finally see Yoongi with them as well, even if it’s very noticeable (and understandable) that he’s keeping his shoulder steady and arm moving as little as possible? After all Telepathy was “his” song for BE and contains lots of little Yoongi signature features, most obviously his knack for playing with autotune in a way that is very audible yet never quite too much, just walking along the line in an interesting way. There’s a genius note change from Hobi in the second half of the song that’s one of the absolute highlights, just like Namjoon and Seokjin doing their little minimal movement dances in the back while grooving along to the music.

As Vminnies we get our own little treat with Jimin and Tae coming together to sing alongside each other and do their little dance as well which we’ve previously seen during the Dear Class of 2020 performance of Mikrocosmos. Then to finish off their little segment, they also do this funny little thing of pointing at each other with Tae as though acting like he (perhaps) wants to boop Jimin’s face/nose from afar. Absolutely adorable.

Speaking of which, can we talk about their cute Donald and Daisy Duck accents on their clothes and accessories which add this little sense of retro? As well as the fact that Tae is wearing the cardigan equivalent to Jimin’s Gucci sweater from his NOTES on Dis-ease video? I do very much enjoy these little details from the stylists. Also, has anyone else noticed that Tae has different in-ears? His usual ones were green yet here they’re translucent.

The way I gasped when the members turned to Tae and asked him to introduce the next song and he said it’s one that is very meaningful to him, honestly, I can’t even describe it. I was so, so happy but also getting ready to be swallowed by all the feels. I know ARMY sns had theories that we’d get Blue & Grey based on the visuals of that stage which we got in the teasers, and yet somehow I still wasn’t quite ready when the song began and we were graced with absolutely breathtaking vocals that went straight for the heart.

The visuals for this performance were perfect for the song while being interesting yet not too much that it would pull your attention away from the song itself. One by one the members sang their parts and found their places along the two main walls, the lighting cold yet on the white/grey side, none of them really interacting or looking at each other which was fitting with the atmosphere of that blue and grey feeling. Then, for the second half, the ‘stage’ switched to more of a blue lighting and we had moments where first Seokjin and JK sang together and then Jimin and Tae, their voices harmonizing so heavenly with each other yet still none of the members really looked at each other, at most looking into the camera.

I love how this performance put the focus on each member on their own but also in moments on the entire group, that feeling of being alone but never quite alone, that they have each other, and that we have them. Tae also really seemed to be highlighted during this performance, which makes sense when given the history of how the song came to be. But, really, each of them was just as visible and equally beautiful in this.

Speaking of beautiful, my jaw dropped when we got to see (and hear) Namjoon during his verse. Honestly, that mans beauty and handsomeness--it somehow keeps on increasing with each time we see him.

From anon: Omg vmin in blue and grey 😭😭😭. They coudnt even look to each other while singing “Don't say you're fine' Cause you're not Please don't leave me alone, it hurts too much” it’s my fav part by the way and their harmonization it’s heaven. I loved they choose this song to the mtv performance!

As much as this was supposed to be a surprise, MTV accidentally spoiled it hours before their performance was aired, and yet, despite knowing it was coming, I don’t think any of us were quite prepared for it right after Blue & Grey.

Fix You is a gorgeous song in its original version with a sad backstory, and it’s one of those Coldplay songs that they are extremely selective over when it comes to requests for official covers or use for commercials or movies/shows. They are about their entire discography, but I think it especially goes for this song, and yet they gave BTS the permission to do this official unplugged cover.

We also know the song means something more to the members, seeing as Jimin posted a video on their 6h anniversary showing the members during a trip they’d gone on together while the song is playing in the background. They also spoke about Coldplay during the press conference before their Wembley concerts, and Namjoon and Hobi had gone to one of their concerts a few years ago, as well as Tae on a different occasion. There certainly is a level of admiration and respect involved, a deeper connection to what they were singing, which was very clear and tangible during their performance as well.

Vocal line were truly outstanding in this, especially Seokjin (who took sns by storm as the “pink mic guy” with floods of praise and people wondering who he is, what his name is, because they’d all fallen in love with him--very relatable because same). Rap line switched between harmonizing with the vocalists in their low register and did a beautiful job of it. Namjoon harmonizing with Seokjin truly gave me goosebumps (and made my little namjin heart very happy). We also had Tae and Hobi harmonizing and sharing a brief smile with each other, as well as Namjoon harmonizing with Jungkook and Jimin, and Yoongi harmonizing with Tae and Jungkook.

The stage was also beautifully thought out, minimal yet captivating at once, all the members sitting on barstools in a line with the blinds drawn on the windows behind them, spotlights shining on them from above and others dancing behind them giving them a beautiful glow and turning something simple into something extraordinary and gorgeous. They truly didn’t need any more than that.

And like their performance wasn’t outstanding enough, we also saw Coldplay themselves not only tweet about it while calling the cover beautiful in Korean (and tagging the member’s twitter account instead of the _bighit one), but also post the same comment below the video on YouTube and share links to it on their facebook and IG stories, as well as sharing the video in their community tab on their YouTube channel. 

So, not only did BTS garner big approval from Coldplay fans and ARMY alike, but also from the original artist. A wonderful moment in music and between two legendary artists in their own right.

This acoustic version of Life Goes On is truly a masterpiece, so calm, soothing and offering that sense of comfort, togetherness, and this reassurance that life will go on, that we’re together in this, that we’ve made it through the blue & grey, that we’ve helped each other to “fix” ourselves, and that we can now slowly heal and grow from the things we’ve gone through. The electric guitar, the slow and quiet drums and on top of that the members voices, all of it coming together truly beautifully.

Their outfits kind of gave me UK private school or University secret society vibes, or as Admin 2 called it “ready to go hunting, we’re just missing our Beagles or Basset Hounds” which isn’t necessarily wrong. And yet the warm shades of brown fit the atmosphere of the song really well, complement it even.

While we’re “used” to vmin having their little moment, we only really saw Tae smiling towards Jimin, though the camera unfortunately didn’t give us a wide shot to see if Jimin returned his smile, though I’ll go ahead and say he likely did if he noticed Tae’s. Though honestly, Tae’s wide happy smile was enough to melt my heart on its own.

And then, to close out the night, we got a very funky and fun yet calm version of Dynamite during which, surprisingly enough, the members actually stay in their seats against all ARMY theories and bets (well, okay, Namjoon stood up for a moment, but sat down really quickly again and no one actually got out of their seats to dance). Who would’ve thought a day like this would come, especially looking at how they got up in previous seated performances of Dynamite.

I love the not so subtle flex of all their gold, silver and platinum records across the wall behind them, as well as their MTV moon men. With how humble they are about their awards and achievements, this felt like a good moment to highlight just how hard they’ve worked, how much they’ve achieved, before they got the chance to be on MTV Unplugged and that truly, if someone deserves to be there and showcase their talents, its them.

Looking at how many times we’ve seen and heard Dynamite, it’s fascinating how they still managed to create a version that was different from all the previous ones and felt fresh and new. Their outfits were simple and all white and thus didn’t pull too much attention onto them leaving the focus on the music and vocals. Tae’s adlibs were absolutely fantastic and they all just seemed to have so much fun with this performance, smiling and dancing in their seats, obviously having a great time. We even got Jimin smiling and scrunching up his nose happily at Tae while he sang! 

Overall this MTV Unplugged performance was a wonderful display of their talents and music merits, their vocals and rap, and just how outstanding they are as a group on this vast world stage. The setlist was perfect, though perhaps a little short. Honestly, if you ask me, they could’ve performed five or ten more songs and I would’ve remained glued to the screen through it all. And yet, still, I couldn’t have asked for more. I was left brown away and so extremely impressed despite being ARMY and knowing how good BTS are. They truly manage to find new ways to grow, evolve, and showcase their musicality with each performance. I also love how they don’t shy away from trying new things and challenges, like rap line singing and harmonizing with the vocals.

I’ll definitely come back to watching these stages many times in the future and they’re easily up there in my top ten of favorite performances of all time. Thank you, BTS, and thank you MTV Unplugged.

[kpoptrashibnida]

Enough Pt. 5

A/N: What is up everybody!!!! I am finally done with the next part of this series! I was able to finish most of it on my flight last night. I did not edit it though, so hopefully there aren’t too many errors. I’m currently at the Houston airport, waiting for my flight back home. So I want to post this before I have to board, which is soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry if the description of the dresses don’t make sense. I do have photos for reference though. So if you guys want me to post them, let me know and I’ll do it. Okay that’s all. Happy reading!

The following weeks passed by in a flurry. Between the final preparations for Mina and Suho’s wedding, to filing all the necessary paperwork for your move to the States, weeks flew by and you swear you got whiplash. It was the night before the wedding, you were staying at the hotel where the wedding would take place. Mina, Eunji and you were sharing a room since you were going to get ready together in the morning.

“And then her face when the stripper gave her a lap dance was the best!” You cried out, laughing so hard and holding your stomach as you told Eunji about Mina’s bachelorette party.

“Aw man, that sounds like it was so much fun! I’m so bummed out I was sick that day and couldn’t make it! I would have killed to see that!” Eunji complained as she wiped tears from her eyes.

“I’m sorry but I’ve never had a guy, that’s not my sweet fiancée, grind down on me like that! It was so awkward!” She wailed and covered her face with her hands, making you and Eunji laugh.

“You guys we gotta stop drinking. None of us, especially you Mina, can be hung over for tomorrow.” Eunji, the voice of reason, said as she collected the empty cocktail glasses and put it on a tray outside the hotel room for room service to pick up.

“You’re right. I have a nice buzz but we should really get ready for bed.” Mina agreed, getting up and heading to the bathroom.

Eunji slept soundly in one bed, Mina and you decided to share a bed for the night. Mina’s back was facing you and you tried to focus on her soft breathing so you could fall asleep. Sleep seemed to be avoiding you that night and you were getting frustrated because you were actually tired. Mina turned around to face you and saw you were still awake.

“Hey, you okay?” She whispered, peering at your face intently. You were always surprised at how well your best friend knows you.

You smiled softly at her, booping her nose with your finger. “Yes, I just have a lot in my mind.” You replied softly.

“Are you stressed about the move?” She inquired, knowing that you were leaving to the States the day after her wedding. She was a little upset she wasn’t going to see you once she was back from her honeymoon. She actually tried talking Suho into changing the destination of their honeymoon to New York so she could see you, but of course he knocked down that idea. Insisting that the Maldives was more of a honeymoon spot than New York.

“Not really. I’m literally all packed. I’m not taking everything with me, just the essentials.” You said, knowing you were going to buy anything you needed in New York. The apartment the company was proving was fully furnished, so you didn’t need to worry about that.

“Are you nervous about seeing Chanyeol tomorrow?” She asked tentatively.

“No? I honestly haven’t even thought about him.” You said honestly, Chanyeol being the least of your worries. You were literally trying to escape his existence, so one more day of dealing with him is not a big deal.

“Hmmm. You know, I think Suho didn’t ask Chanyeol to be a groomsman because of how he’s treated you.” Mina said in a satisfied tone, making you laugh quietly.

“I don’t know why you told him in the first place, they’re friends.” You chastised her, feeling bad about having Suho exile his friend from the wedding party.

“I don’t think it matters. I think he asked Sehun to be a groomsman because they’re cousins. He’s kind of bratty because he’s the youngest of the family. He was actually upset that he’s not the best man.” Mina said rolling her eyes, realizing she’s going to have to deal with that for the rest of her life since Suho is close with his cousin.

“Well that makes me feel better. Sehun is nice though.” You commented, thinking back to the few times you interacted with him during the rehearsals.

“Yeah but he can be a bit douchey too. He hangs out a lot with Chanyeol.”

“Hey babe. We should probably sleep. We don’t need to give the make up artist unnecessary work.” You whispered, feeling your eyelids flutter closed.

“Hmm.” Mina hummed in agreement, her own eyes closing slowly.

The whole morning was a rush, from makeup artists coming in early to do your makeup and the hair stylist with her team made sure your hair was styled to perfection.

You and Eunji helped Mina into her wedding dress, a gorgeous mermaid style gown with a sweetheart neckline that plunged down the middle and stopped right before her navel. The bodice was covered in an intricate flower lace detail that gave the dress a romantic look. It also had removable sleeves that started ¼ down her arm and flared out from the elbows and cinched delicately around her wrists. Her hair was in loose waves and styled in a half up hairdo, showing off the neckline of her dress. You felt yourself tear up because she looked so beautiful and you couldn’t believe the day was finally here.

Your dress was a very beautiful off shoulder satin piece that cinched around your hips in a Grecian style design. A slit running up to your upper thigh, the bronze color of the dress complimenting your skin tone. The sleeves and the neckline draped beautifully, accentuating your breasts. Eunji’s dress was almost identical except hers did not have a slit up her thigh.

Before the ceremony and reception, you were going to take the photos. It was set in a gorgeous park, really giving the best possible background for the wedding photos. Seeing Suho cry the second he saw Mina really was the highlight of the photo shoot and thankfully the photographer got it all on camera. You were all trying to be careful, making sure Mina’s dress wouldn’t get dirty as your location varied throughout the park. After the photo session it was time to go to the hotel where both the ceremony and reception were taking place.

Suho’s parents walked out first, taking place at the front where their designated seats were. After them was Mina’s mom, who took her seat opposite to the Kims. Eunji was next with Sehun and they took their place at the left side of the platform. After them it was you and Kyungsoo, walking to the right side of the platform. You held Kyungsoo’s arm tightly in fear of falling. Your heels were a little higher than your comfort zone and you felt like a newborn deer. You thought you had broken them in enough, but the heel was too thin and it didn’t make you feel stable. He smiled softly at you as he tightened his arm around yours, a silent promise to keep you upright.

Everyone stood up the second when they herd the music change and the doors open for Mina and her father. Even though Suho already saw her during the photo shoot, he couldn’t help but get emotional all over again when he saw Mina make her way down the aisle. The look of pure love they shared made your heart melt, making you tear up at the feeling of love and gratitude you felt towards your two friends.

The ceremony was very beautiful and emotional, the majority of the guests wiping happy tears from their eyes. Once the I do’s were shared and the official kiss was made, the guests all stood up and clapped for the new married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Kim. Mina and Suho exited the ceremony room first and headed out to the reception hall. You and Kyungsoo were next after them, sharing a sweet smile with each other as you make your way to the reception hall. Eunji and Sehun were the last to join the little parade. Everyone was excited for the party to start.

“And I just want to thank everyone for coming out today to celebrate with us the happiest day of my life. Thank you!” Suho said as he lifted his champagne flute up as a toast and everyone followed. “Now I invite my best man to come up and give a few words.” He said with a big grin as he walked off the stage, guests clapping for him and the best man that was taking his spot on the mini stage.

“I’m a man of very few words, so here it goes.” Kyungsoo started, making the guests laugh. “I’ve known Suho for most of my life. I’ve seen him through some of his best times, some of his worst times and a whole lot of humiliating times. I gotta say that I know him very well. But the side I saw of him when he reunited with Mina was a side I had never seen before, and that’s how I knew he found the one. Mina, you’re a lucky one. I’m glad you two have found each other and I hope your love and happiness lasts for your lifetime. Thank you.” Everyone clapped at Kyungsoo’s beautiful speech, a couple of stray tears falling down your face. You swiftly wiped them away without ruining your makeup, knowing that you were up next.

“Now I invite the gorgeous maid of honor to come give a speech.”

“Wow, I don’t know if I can beat that, you really outdid yourself there Soo.” You smiled, not noticing the slip of the nickname you mentally gave him. “Well, I can only say that I am extremely happy for the two of you. Mina is the love of my life and I know I am hers as well, sorry Suho.” You shrugged, making everyone laugh. “But I knew Suho was someone very special for Mina the day she ditched me at the bar to leave with Suho. To talk, of course.” You winked, a wave of laughter erupted throughout the hall, making Mina turn a bright shade of red and Suho laughed and clapped his hands like a dumb walrus. “Anyway, Mina never ditches me. So that’s how I knew he was special. And he is even more special now because he is married to the most beautiful, caring, smart and witty woman I know. I love you two and I know your love will outlive all of us. To Mr. and Mrs. Kim!” You cheered, everyone applauding as you got off the stage.

You made your way to Mina and embraced her in a tight hug. “I love you so much.” You whispered, trying hard not to cry.

“I love you more.” She whispered, hugging you tightly.

The party was in full swing by now, people dancing and many of them interrupting Mina and Suho’s dancing so they could take photos with them. You sat at the wedding party table, sipping champagne as you happily watched your best friend dance with her husband.

“Why are you all alone?” Kyungsoo asked as he took a seat next to you.

“I’m drinking. And I really want more dessert. But I don’t want to get up to get more because I don’t want to look like a fatass.” You said, rubbing circles on your belly, pushing it out in an exaggerated manner so it could make your belly look bigger.

Kyungsoo laughed at your silly antics. “You are far from fat. But do you want me to go get you some? I don’t mind.” He said, pointing to the dessert bar.

You sat up on your seat with a gasp. “Really? You’d do that for me?” You asked like an excited child.

“Of course. What do you want?” He asked as he got up.

“Ooh a brownie and another vanilla cupcake. But one with the purple rose on top.” You instructed, a very serious look on your face.

Kyungsoo smiled at you and made his way to the dessert bar. You sat there, drinking your champagne happily until he came back.

“I have the goods!” Kyungsoo exclaimed, placing the plate with the sweets in front of you.

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much!” You said, swaying excitedly on your chair, diving right in to the baked goods.

“Alright! How much have you had to drink?” He questioned, giggling at your tipsy attitude.

“This many.” You said with a mouth full of brownies, holding up 5 fingers and looking like a cute child.

“Alright you need to sober up.” He said and waved over a waiter. He asked him for one glass of water and a cup of black coffee.

“Why are you so good to me?” You asked rhetorically, finishing up the last of your coffee.

“Do you feel better?” He asked, noticing the fact that you looked more yourself and less loopy.

“I do, I think I’m almost fully sober.” You said, stretching your tired back.

“Wanna go dance? I’m sure that will help you sober up more.” He said with a smile.

“Yeah lets go!” You said excitedly, getting up and holding his hand as he led the way to the dance floor.

You two were having fun and being silly, really just enjoying each other’s company. You danced about three songs before your bladder alarmingly signaled that it was time to get rid of all the liquids you ingested earlier.

You told Kyungsoo you needed to use the restroom and made your way as fast and as safely as you could with high heels and a full bladder.

When you came back you noticed Kyungsoo was waiting for you near the bathrooms, looking a little serious.

“Is everything okay?” You asked as you approached him.

“Yeah of course.” He said with a smile that looked a little forced. “Want to dance some more or are you good?” He asked.

“Let’s dance a bit more before I have to leave.” You said as you both made your way to the dance floor.

As soon as you got there the song ended and a romantic slow song started, making some people leave the dance floor and all the couples seemed to stay to dance. Kyungsoo looked at you with a furrowed brow.

“Do you mind?” He asked, hesitantly reaching for your hand.

“Not at all!” You said smiling, pressing your body to his and holding his hand tightly in yours. Even with your impressive heels, he was still a couple inches taller than you, forcing you to look up at him as you two danced the song together. You smiled at each other softly and let the rhythm of the music guide your bodies. Kyungsoo pressed you closer to his body and when you didn’t react negatively or pull away, he leaned down and pressed his lips softly to yours. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the sweet moment. You both pulled away before either one had a chance to deepen the kiss.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He said shyly, a cute blush caressing his cheeks.

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” You assured him, squeezing his shoulder.

“I don’t want to be brash or too forward, but would you like to continue this…?”

You closed you eyes and sighed, hating the timeing life seemed to have with you.

“Kyungsoo…” You groaned, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“What?” He chuckled

“Normally, I totally would. But I’m leaving tomorrow to the States and you are such an amazing guy, I don’t want to just have you for one night and have that be all. You deserve a lot more than that.” You said honestly.

“I get it, don’t worry. I’m glad you think so highly of me.” He said with a smirk, looking somewhere behind you.

“You’re welcome. You can come visit any time though.” You reassured, both of you smiling and enjoying the rest of the dance.

After the dance you looked for Mina, wanting to have enough time to say good bye since you had to go home to change and catch a red eye at an ungodly hour.

“Hey babe.” You said coming up behind her.

“Is it time already?” She asked with a pout, knowing it was time for you to leave.

“Yes. I know, I hate this.” You say as you embrace her. Swaying lightly to the rhythm of the song.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to vsisit you as soon as you’re all settled in.” Mina assured.

“Absolutely! You better come!” You said in mock seriousness, breaking the hug. Your conversation was interrupted by a high pitch squeal/laugh combination. You both looked over to the source of the sound and saw a girl pressed against Chanyeol, his arms wrapped around her waist, tickling her softly thus making her sound like an excited chihuahua. He glided his lips along her neck, whispering something to her ear, making her nod her head quickly. She grabbed his hand and started to pull him through the crowd, not before Chanyeol looked straight at you, sending you a wink that made your heart bang against your chest. You chuckled softly, chastising your silly heart for its muscle memory of Chanyeol’s tactics.

“Oh my god. Is he serious?” Mina asked as she saw Chanyeol leave with one of Suho’s distant cousins.

“Typical Chanyeol. God I don’t know what I ever saw in him.” You say honestly, proud of yourself for not having feelings for him anymore.

“This is the only reason im glad you’re leaving. So you don’t have to deal with his bullshit.” Mina said, rolling her eyes.

“Speaking of which, I have to go now.” You two embraced in a tight hug once again.

You left the hotel with a wave of determination. You were going to make the most of this move. Not just in your professional life, but also in your personal life.

***

Chanyeol could not keep his eyes off you the whole night. You looked incredibly gorgeous in your satin dress and he couldn’t stop staring at the way it hugged your body. That uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach again and he couldn’t shake it off. He also could not shake off the jealousy he felt at the fact that Kyungsoo just liberally put his hands on you. He knew he was your partner, but it still bothered him.

He was sitting down watching Kyungsoo make you laugh and bring you dessert. He couldn’t help but see how happy and care free you looked, an expression he never saw you wear when you were with him. He saw the two of you get up and head to the dance floor. He couldn’t stop staring at the way you smiled and laughed and dance around in a silly way, just enjoying yourself and not caring what others think. When he saw you make your way to the bathroom, he decided to have a little fun.

“You know, she’s not as innocent as she may appear.” He said, walking up to Kyungsoo. Even though both men are friends with Suho, they don’t particularly belong in the same group of friends. In fact, Kyungsoo was never fond of Chanyeol and Chanyeol always thought Kyungsoo was a bit uptight.

“Chanyeol, how lovely of you to come over and say hi.” Kyungsoo said sarcastically, not in the mood for the tall man's antics.

“Always so charming Soo. But seriously. She’s a really good lay. Have you been able to find out yet?” Chanyeol really wanted to piss him off and get under his skin.

“Do not speak of her like that.” Kyungsoo bit out harshly, not believing his ears. Chanyeol could really be a jerk sometimes.

“This is cute. How protective you are if her. Have you known her long?” He asked in mock interest.

“That’s none of your concern. Now leave before she comes back and you make her uncomfortable.” Kyungsoo said pointedly, not giving him an option.

“Now noble.” Chanyeol bowed and walked away, satisfied at the fact that he made Kyungsoo mad.

He watched as you came out of the bathroom, completely unaware of the interaction that just happened between the two men. He watched as the two of you walked back to the dance floor. He felt a jab of jealousy jolt his heart when he saw the way you slow danced. He wanted to look away but for some reason his eyes wouldn’t budge, his stare glued to the two of you. He finally managed to look the other way when he saw your lips touch Kyungsoo’s, the sight almost unbearable and he couldn’t understand why. He got up from his seat and made his way to a group of girls that looked pretty enough and most likely desperate enough to go home with him tonight. He started to talk to a girl that was one of Suho’s distant cousins.

He watched you make your way to Mina and he made sure that the girl he picked for tonight grabbed your attention. He tickled her stomach, making her squeal in a way that might have been endearing to some, but it irritated his ears. He made a point of kissing her neck and asking her if she wanted to go home with him. She eagerly nodded, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the exit. Chanyeol looked your way and felt his heart jump when he saw you looking at him. He sent you a wink and followed what’s-her-name out to his car, ready for a night of trying to get out out of his system. He’s had enough of these confusing feelings.

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[darkestangel1326]

Fuyu no Hanashi - both versions

So ever since Fuyu no Hanashi has been released in the anime, the fandom has collectively lost their shit over the song, replaying it over and over and doing post after post analysis over the scene. In some instances scrolling through the tags, you see people prefer one version over the other.

I don’t really have a preference for either version but I love both versions. I really do think that each version represents a differing view of Mafuyu’s grieving process and how he moves forward, after Yuki. When you look at the nuances of the songs, I think that especially emphasizes it. 

So this is a meta nobody wanted about the two versions of Fuyu no Hanashi (Mafuyu’s song) and how they are BOTH nuanced and interesting to me. 

First up, the anime version: 

God just re-watching this scene gives me chills. It was so beautifully done. I don’t wanna focus too much on the colors since a good meta has already been done but I do wanna talk about the lyrics and how they relate to this portrayal of the story. 

[Given Anime] Fuyu no Hanashi (LYRICS)

[Verse 1] Just like Snow that hasn't completely melted In the shade I continue on with these feelings inside me Hey, with what words Should I close the door on this love? The instruments start full force from the beginning, everyone in the group playing intensely and then there’s a brief fade of the intensity, likely where Mafuyu’s song would be. When Mafuyu starts singing, all the instruments support his lyrics as they fade more into the background, with the exception of guitar. This represents the support his band has been giving him behind the scenes to get him to the stage even if they didn’t know his tragic backstory. 

Mafuyu begins singing softly and there’s a slight delay between his first word he sings and the next lyrics, almost as if it hits him [and us tbh] that he’s singing aloud. This pause could also be seen as Mafuyu trying to put his feelings into words and taking a second to pick the best ones; but if you think about it metaphorically, Mafuyu - quiet, sleepy Mafuyu - has found his voice and he wants to say something that will reach people, though who he desperately wants to reach most is Yuki. 

There is a kanji that means snow and although that is not part of Yuki’s actual name, I still think Mafuyu’s first metaphor talking about snow works as a hidden reference to Yuki. Snow that hasn’t melted in the shade ie feelings that haven’t left, even at Mafuyu’s darkest times. So his next line of lyrics rise in volume gradually and he continues in that same volume. He confirms his feelings here as well. Then he takes an [audible] breath after the first word of his question and continues it by singing the rest of the lines with a rising volume. Personally, I  like the sound of artist’s taking a breath and in this case, it was done well and believably. For one, Mafuyu probably hasn’t learned breath control much so he’s belting out this beautiful sound and has to take a breather but also might still be unaware of how close he is to the mic resulting in the audible breath. Or, another reason may be because this breath, intended or not, slows the song enough to build for something impactful (the chorus). And this slowing pace also makes his question of how am I supposed to stop loving you when I still do? sound more desperate and pleading. Additionally, this line shifts Mafuyu’s sad thoughts to his more bitter ones, which is fully expressed in the first chorus. [1st Chorus] Your everything has lost its tomorrow And now is wandering around eternally Along with me Who unable to say goodbye or move on

The instruments all come back in full force with the drums taking the lead. Except this time, neither the instruments or Mafuyu’s voice yield to the other. It gives the impression that the band has become a constant support in Mafuyu’s grieving process. And here we see the change from Mafuyu’s melancholy to his bitterness towards Yuki, and even preludes how Yuki’s ghost haunts him. Mafuyu is in essence saying that Yuki’s physical form is gone but his ghost is always in Mafuyu’s life and will be forever, hanging around the guy who was unable to properly say goodbye. And this is when we begin to understand that Mafuyu has some guilt surrounding Yuki’s death; he wishes he could’ve said a proper goodbye. And yes, I know that sounds like every mourner but this is especially poignant because Mafuyu’s constant inner dialogue to this point was always presented as “I’m not lonely. I have friends who I play basketball with etc”. So hearing him say and getting the sense that he feels guilt about Yuki’s death (though at this point we didn’t know how much), it makes you see him in a different way. It’s also a big stepping stone for Mafuyu since he’s finally said he was unable to say goodbye or move on which means that he’s facing his feelings with the unyielding support of his bandmates during an impromptu song performed live. 

[Verse 2] Just like A spell that still won't break Or some kind of curse I'm still holding on to some heavy baggage Hey, what kind of tomorrow Am I supposed to look for in this town?

Ah...

This is where the feels got real for me. That echo. It was the first echo I heard in the song and I think the reason was just impact. By this point in the song we see that Mafuyu is starting to really pour his heart out in an effort to confront his past and then that echo after his first word. It’s not just that there’s an echo, but a lingering, fading one that really emphasizes how haunted Mafuyu’s been by his past. And we further delve into the feels/grief in the rest of the verse. Most instruments fade into the background, giving Mafuyu space to sing his next verse. And this verse continues to have the echo effect throughout as well. We see Mafuyu’s rose-colored worldview of Yuki crumble as he compares his love with Yuki as a magic spell at first, then becoming unbreakable after his death, with a suffocating grip akin to a curse. If he tries to move forward, he carries the weight of Yuki’s passing like heavy baggage and wants to know how he’s supposed to move forward when this baggage, once magic spell, makes it hard to not see Yuki everywhere. 

If we relate this to the flashbacks, we see Mafuyu’s highlights with Yuki - their first meeting which was like magic, all the way to Mafuyu’s last words to Yuki (aka what he is most likely guilty about). However, it’s Mafuyu’s last words to Yuki, and the guilt associated with those words from Yuki’s sudden passing - that’s the real heavy baggage Mafuyu carries around. 

So how can he move forward in life, in the place where his guilt and Yuki’s ghost live? He doesn’t know how and the one person he wants to reach out to and ask can’t answer him. Hence the most heartbreaking scream I’ve heard in a long time. He screams out of pain. Out of despair. Out of anguish. It’s like he’s free falling and was trying to reach out to the one person who could ease his guilt but realizes (or should I say finally accepts) that the person he wants to talk to most about this pain won’t ever be able to respond back. And so he keeps falling.

[Bridge]

The cold tears that fall Freeze under the sky They pretend to be kind And around the time, they fall down my face Two people who were always together are torn apart That's all there is to this story

The Bridge is also so well done here. There’s a stillness of the instruments like a moment of delayed falling, as if time itself has stopped. 

This likely references immediately post-Yuki when Mafuyu had the most trouble knowing or expressing his grief and his inability to move forward. The cold tears that fall/ Freeze under the sky - almost like saying his guilt is preventing him from expressing his sadness. Or that he’s having trouble showing his emotions at all compared to those around him. Deep down Mafuyu wanted to feel something openly but maybe it’s the guilt or the memory of his abusive father or a trigger that prevents him from feeling at all. But when he does start facing his past, every emotion rushes back - the good and the bad: They pretend to be kind/ and around the time, they fall down my face. I think this represents his feelings abstractly - they pretend to be kind because his first thoughts about Yuki are his happy memories but as soon as the memories hit him, so does the regret, the sorrow and the anger. 

Notice here how the other instruments start coming back full force, almost one by one almost as if representing each member stepping up and letting Mafuyu know he can be vulnerable -  a nice little reference to the story since Mafuyu does sort of have a moment with each of them during his grieving process. 

Two people who were always together are torn apart and showing THAT scene...that is the most raw this song reached. It hurt seeing Mafuyu say even though he couldn’t forgive himself or Yuki that he wanted to and still missed him [and in that broken voice too]. And he brought that emotion into the last line of the bridge. In the simplest of terms, two people who were always together were torn apart, but this is perhaps the first time Mafuyu can come to realize that Yuki wasn’t just taken from him but Mafuyu was also taken from Yuki. They both lost the other and that shows that Mafuyu is starting to see that Yuki’s death wasn’t his fault. 

Something I’ve been learning about grief is that you can feel frozen and unsure what to think about someone, but can also feel anger towards someone who died. It can weirdly be more intimate because you have a solidly established relationship and aren’t blinded by the good times. Now I’m not saying be angry with them forever, or even be bitter; I’m saying that being able to be angry while grieving isn’t strange because ultimately, the resolution of anger by expressing it can be freeing. And we see this in the final chorus of this song.

[Final Chorus] Even if your everything loses its shape one day You'll always be here within me As I try to move forward again Even though I couldn't say goodbye You'll always be here with me

Instrument wise, this is pretty similar to the first chorus, though here there is a notable explosive moment (Uenoyama) that transitions the rest of the band from subdued to full on sound in the first line. You could depict this as how Uenoyama is catalyst for Mafuyu to grieve and feel safe doing it at his own pace. Additionally, this chorus has similar lyrics to the first chorus though the diction is important: “Even if”. This changes the chorus greatly, along with the other changes such as “move forward again” and “you’ll always be here within me”. All these changes soften up the chorus so Mafuyu sounds less bitter towards Yuki and he actually sounds more fond of their memories together but now knowing he has to move forward with only those memories in his heart.

He accepts that he won’t get to say goodbye and that one day he may even forget some things about Yuki, but even so, as he moves forward again Yuki will be there with him. 

There’s just something so beautiful about this chorus when it comes to these lyrics and how they work with the rest of the song. Yes verse 2 and the bridge were interesting because of the echos and the instrumental arrangement and the scream but something about a character realizing that this guilt they carried for so long is the very thing that kept them from moving forward and finally being able to come to terms with the pain, accept that it’s there and give themself permission to try moving forward again.. Something about that just makes me really emotional because it’s such a simple yet powerful concept that is so difficult to do in real life. 

Next up, the BLCD version

I’m in the middle of listening to the drama cd so I don’t know how or when this song comes up (or if the posted drama cd will include the performance) and the voice acting is something that I’m getting used to considering I watched the anime before hearing the BLCD though I did hear the BLCD Fuyu no Hanashi before hearing the anime’s version. Then I heard the live BLCD Fuyu no Hanashi which reminds me of the anime scene though it doesn’t sync up perfectly. 

[Given BLCD] Fuyu no Hanashi (LYRICS*)

I can’t meet you,                                                                                                  but I don't feel alone.                                                                                           This is a certain winter's story                                                                         that's disappeared so suddenly. 

Here we’re hit with a sole guitar sound characterized with short, quick and consistent strums with a sound akin to church bells, as if alluding to a funeral or death. The drums appear, though mostly in the background to make the beat more present and then another guitar comes in, its own sound distorted yet patterned between lower and higher pitches that sound like wailing screams. After setting this angsty scene, the instruments pause briefly and Mafuyu sings with the wailing guitar sound transforming into one with a consistent pitch and strumming pattern joining him (which I believe is his guitar in this version). It being his guitar makes sense since no other instruments are heard at this point; Mafuyu is telling his story and it’s his thoughts we’re hearing. in the manga, Mafuyu constantly repeats he doesn’t feel alone citing by this point the various things going on in his life. But saying I can’t meet you beforehand adds a good tension to the song and an interesting contradiction in the hook. I can’t meet you/ but don’t feel alone - it makes it sounds robotic and forced, like he’s telling the truth but with his barriers up to avoid the underlying emotions. 

This is a certain winter's story/ that's disappeared so suddenly - the rest of the instruments begin coming back, though faintly, as if supporting Mafuyu’s grief. The faint return of the instruments along with Mafuyu’s faint almost hushed whispered type singing builds an interesting tension to the song, making it feel like the calm before the storm.

Differing from my heart, I put my words to use.                                                Don't forgive me now. 

Here the song’s tension heightens with both Mafuyu and the band’s instruments increase in volume. This also reflects the lyrics since we begin to understand Mafuyu believes he is to blame for this winter tragedy. And right after he sings Don't forgive me now the tension is realeased. 

Where did you go?                                                                                               My fingers are cold                                                                                                 and I can't move;                                                                                                     it's as if I didn't know anything. 

The wailing guitar returns when Mafuyu belts Where did you go? leaving the impression that this wailing sound represents his screams. But more than that, this whole verse (chorus?) is accusatory but in a more reserved, melancholy way - as if representing hesitancy to feel anything while being buried in emotions. All this amounts to Mafuyu being frozen by contradictory emotions and therefore being unable to fully process much less express himself. 

This verse is immediately followed up by the instruments coming back full force with the wailing guitar the most prominent sound, again representing Mafuyu’s internal screams of frustration, bitterness and sadness.

I remember the smell of the sea.                                                                         Even more, the thoughts I wish I'd told you,                                                    floating midair. 

Next, the instruments fade except for the beating drums and a new delicately intricate guitar sound whose loop-like pattern represent Mafuyu’s grief and how all his emotions are constantly looping. Mafuyu’s voice returns to a softer and more hushed sound as he remembers the smell of the sea. This is a direct reference to his beach trip with Yuki (which was presented earlier in the manga) and how Mafuyu never thought he would forget the trip though Yuki thought he would eventually. Here, Mafuyu's contesting that not only does he remember the sea but also the floating thoughts are that he’ll always remember Yuki, whether he wants to or not which he didn’t quite say during that trip.

The cymbals from the drums echo as two predominant guitar sounds compete to be heard: one a less severe church bell sound and the other a calming and consistently short strum patterned one. In this case, the sounds likely represent Mafuyu’s biggest competing emotions: his guilt and his fondness towards Yuki. 

Additionally, remember how Akihiko talked with Mafuyu and told Mafuyu that he has to face his past in order to move forward [and he hinted moving forward with Ue at the time]? Well consider that it was the cymbal echo (from the drums) that gave rise to the two competing guitars sounds, bringing them to the forefront while Mafuyu was singing.

The seasons will always pass by ever so quickly,                                                     yet why am I just standing here? 

The drums become more present as the less severe church bell guitar fades and is almost entirely consumed by the simple strum patterned guitar. The arrangement settles into a melancholic sound backdrop to Mafuyu’s firm singing. 

Lyrically, the seasons will always pass by ever so quickly could refer to time but they could also refer to people (Yuki referring to winter and Ue referring to summer - two distinct seasons). This is continued by Mafuyu asking yet why am I just standing here? Again, this works on the time passing level and Mafuyu’s shift of romantic emotions to Ue but let’s not undercut the importance of this verse. This is the first time Mafuyu openly expresses a desire to move forward in the song. Up to this point, he talks about being unable to move forward or even being lost in his memories, but he doesn’t express a desire to move forward until Ue becomes a bigger part of his life. 

The simple strum pattern guitar sound evolves into a more aggressive sound, briefly disrupting the previous melancholic tone of the song and adding an interesting overall feel, briefly taking the focus by its continued intricate chords ending with a tone of finality as well. Assuming this guitar is Ue (it probably is), this is almost like he’s reminding Mafuyu that he’s a part of his life now, at least temporarily shifting focus from Yuki but enough to make Mafuyu feel ready to move forward which supports the verse being about them. 

It's stopped, but                                                                                                               I still want you to forgive me. 

After [Ue’s] guitar solo, the guitar transforms back into simple repetitive short strums while drums re-enter to prominently provide the beat. Mafuyu begins softly singing  It’s stopped. It’s stopped may not necessarily mean his guilt here as much as it likely means his frozen grief. He’s done being paralyzed by grief. This is confirmed when Mafuyu’s voice shifts to a louder, more pleading sound as he still wants Yuki’s forgiveness regardless of his decision to try to move forward again. 

I'm desolated, even if I scream it out                                                                    you're not here anymore.                                                                                        No matter where I stand,                                                                                       you're always in the scenery. 

Here Mafuyu’s resigned to the fact that even if he screams out to Yuki, Yuki won’t ever respond. This also tends to be why people prefer the anime version;  that heartbreaking scream where Mafuyu literally let out all his emotions at one time. But if we think about this version, Mafuyu has been screaming the entire time. The wailing guitar sound present on and off throughout the song? - that represents Mafuyu’s screams of agony and how he appears indifferent on the outside but is actually deeply in pain within (which corresponds to the repeated lower and higher sounds of the wailing guitar sound). At this point, we only hear the higher pitch of the wailing guitar in the background, his pain laid bare for the audience to feel. 

He continues by saying no matter where he is, Yuki will always be there. Unlike before, however, when those precious memories immobilized him, Mafuyu sings these lyrics firmly, accepting them as he decides to move forward. 

A certain winter's story, the sea and the white breaths,                                        soon start to disappear.                                                                                                   I wonder if someday I'm going to change. 

So this penultimate verse kills me every time. It’s raw, its emotionally charged and it’s just the right amount of hopeful for someone who is trying to move forward. He summarizes his strongest memories with Yuki - when he died, their beach trip and their *ahem* intimate embraces - and how he’s starting to forget parts of those memories. When he ponders I wonder if someday I'm going to change he likely means if he’ll become someone different as the memories fade into the past. That in it of itself is powerful - as much as he knows Yuki will be there in spirit, his presence will be less pronounced in Mafuyu’s life as time passes. They’ve known each other their whole lives and now Mafuyu’s set to live the rest of his life without Yuki physically beside him and I’m sure that although the prospect might scare him, he wonders if he will change.

As mentioned above the main focus is higher pitch of the wailing guitar in the background however, as Mafuyu wonders if he’ll change the higher/lower wailing guitar sounds return, showing how the notion makes Mafuyu uneasy. This sound continues into the last line as well. Additionally, the drums beating incessantly as if to build tension and then become a rhythmic pattern for the last line - the resolution of the tension.

If I could [talk to you again]

Mafuyu ends his song as softly as he began, almost like he’s unintentionally  broadcasting his last thoughts through the microphone. He wishes to have understood Yuki’s feelings which doesn’t necessarily point to guilt at this point. He’s not guilty or upset - on the contrary, he misses Yuki and wants to talk to him again, which is how this Mafuyu exists the stage, with the realization that he doesn’t want to say he’s lonely in an effort to convince himself that he’s fine, he wants to tell Yuki about his new life and that feeling is what overwhelms him. 

The rhythmic lower and higher pitched wailing guitar is present in the background with the now beating drums but all instruments pause and quickly fade as Mafuyu says he wants to talk to [Yuki] again, providing him the space to arrive at this conclusion unperturbed. 

Like the anime, this song represents Mafuyu’s grieving process but in a different way. Here, Mafuyu feels lots of mixed emotions towards Yuki which effectively makes his grieving feel frozen. He works through it by reliving his fondest(?) memories but realizing that time has passed and that he’s ready to be honest with himself. He wants Yuki’s forgiveness but knows he won’t get that - instead, he’ll get Yuki’s lingering spirit. But that, too, shall fade as he develops new memories with his band and Ue. He’s going to change as this happens but even so will still want to be able to talk to Yuki about it because despite everything, Mafuyu misses him. 

This song is raw because it reflects how grief isn’t necessarily linear - sometimes, you feel everything at once and that keeps you frozen or you only feel one thing and that’s ok. It’s ok to miss your first love, despite falling in love again. Because moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting your first love or using that relationship as a stepping stone - it means loving that person, regardless of their physical state and being able to love anew without trying to replace the person that was lost. Mafuyu will always love Yuki but it doesn’t mean he can’t love Ue just as much either. 

[preciousbabyjas-blog]

well I do take personal inspiration for my own life and occurrences that have happened when I decide to paint or trying to find the reason for my writing , a lot of my inspiration  derives off of my culture and my family. when I think about art I think about cultural beauty and what I could possibly teach or reach out to others who view my work.I look at a film like Coco and think about my Hispanic roots and where I came from, well I can also easily appreciate another culture like the Japanese culture or the native American culture better single more chopped up  derivatives  of my own person. I hold a lot of emotional value in family and in culture , not just ethnic culture but modern culture societal culture I suppose one could say.I am more of a writer than I am a painter the written word can be as beautifully portrayed as a visual image. 

I am also an advent roleplayer so being able to create a character and bring it to life through understanding and desire to understand one culture and backgrounds and pain is what fuels my own artistic ideals. 

Family is the most important thing to me ; in my current line of work, family is what I have been working on. My work of art as a landscape color vibrant warm over a darkened canvas my inspiration comes from Mexican American art native American folklore  and from the heart. 

So the inspiration for this work of art that I plan to write about is inspired from the movie Coco and The similar ideas that family is everything family will always love you and always have you even in death they will be there for you.

The canvas of black and navy blue silver etching  stalactites as buildings ; flying creatures of multiple neon colors . Fluorescent  pastels that light up the building like structures in magenta, green blue yellow purples looking almost like highlighter colors in the night sky LaFarge colored Moon looming over the right top hand corner the light bathing  the painting in an Erie ,mysterious ,yet beautiful light. vibrant oranges Melt together to create a bridge of light from the far left-hand corner ; a quarter of corner painting is comprised of this vibrant light flower bridge at the end of the bridge that leads to the stalactite buildings and flying creatures are three beings. An elderly woman and two small babies. Elderly woman has White blanched Bones that are painted soft with gray,vibrant pink ,red and yellow in  floral and feather shapes around the eye socket, swirling swooping lines around the cheekbones bridge of nose. she is dressed purple a dark violet purple that contrast the colors that are painted on her skeletal face put a warm gentle smile  presents. Her silvery hair pinned up can too tight fun accented with a red and yellow feather . The two boys are unknown but their skeletal remains dressed in white , blues soft pastel of that you would put on a newborn babe. There are small floral petals around the eye sockets of both children no significant markings the smallest looking babe has a darker succulent blue painted around his eyes nose the pattern painted for small petals of chrysanthemum giving the smallest babe a full fresh look , a Rosy color over the rounded almost cherub cheekbones . Beside them is a slightly older looking babe just in  similar attire however the markings on this child there much different magnolia petals decorate the eyes the nose of this child in vibrant green similar to the fluorescent color green that sparkles and shines on the stalactites structures magenta hues touch the cheek bones like blush brush skimmed the   sharper cheekbones of said child.  Friendly smiles on both children . Buzzing around the three is a miniature elephant . The skin of the elephant is in magnificent colors of : purple touches of red , warm tones of green gentle under shading of yellow around the eyes and tail of the elephant. The wings are soft large feathered pastel blue. 

The other two alebrijes small pups with tiny wings almost like hummingbird wings the color of the pups are the same color of succulent flowers drawn on the skeletal faces of the two children contrasting neon green and vibrant blue. There's nothing else notable except for the smiles and the light of the Moon in the  stalactite City of the Dead "in mystery and comfort."

[nisestylez]

10 Trendy Dark Purple Hair Color Ideas

If you’re looking for a rocking new hair shade, you should think about these bold dark purple hair color ideas. They’re fabulous, flattering, and everyone will be talking about it if you get it right. Take a peek and let us know what you think about these little delights … We’re in love with them, and we think you might just be too.

Dark Purple Hair Color Idea for Brunettes

Highlights are a great idea of adding a new dimension to your hair, so instead of looking one tone and therefore flat all over, the hair has different light-reflecting strands in it. When you’re going for a dark shade, such as these dark purple hair color ideas, adding different shades is important to bring it to life. In this look, a darker brunette has been left at the background, with just subtle pops of purple highlights peeking through to bring it to life. If you have dark hair and you fancy going for a change (but just not a dramatic change), this purple look might just be right for you.

Source: pinterest.com

Dark Purple Lob

When the weather turns darker, it only makes sense for your hair to match the trend. We can’t get enough of this dark purple lob – a look that shows you don’t need long luscious locks in order to play around with pops of color. Waves have been added to bring this hair to life, which is great tip if you have fine hair but want to give it some “oomph”. The highlights and lowlights of different shades of purple help to bring it all to life, but it’s those waves bring a bounce that makes it look even cuter.

Source: @hairbynoora

Purple Hair with Dark Roots

Dark roots are perfect for lazy girls just like most of us here at StayGlam. When you combine a colored look with a darker-rooted look, you have a lazy (but fabulous) look, and that’s about as easy as it gets. If you have naturally dark hair, when the roots show through, they won’t be so obvious if you copy this look. The roots have been left naturally dark. That glossy purple pop is simply stunning to look at too – we can’t see any negatives here?

Source: @alexisbutterflyloft

Dark Purple Hair with Light Purple Highlights

And here’s a great idea for when your dark purple hair color ideas are starting to fade out … Why not play around with different tones and shades, adding some lighter pops of lilac in with a much darker shade? When you add those wavy curls at the bottom, all the dimensions and shades of purple are shown off, giving you a look that everyone will love. There’s no better time than now if you’re thinking of jumping right in … and this look is amazing!

Source: @breanna_anythingbutbasic

Dark Purple Bob

If you have an oval shaped face, the long, wavy, and messier bob is perfect for you. Although you might need to play around with shades of purple to find one that suits your skin tone, the long bob or bob is the perfect way to give your hair a break. Cutting off those dead ends will result in healthier hair, and in the long run it’ll even make it grow a bit faster too. Sometimes you just need to admit defeat and go for the chop, but when you see purple looks like this, the transition doesn’t seem so difficult.

Source: @mizzchoi

Melted Purple and Lavender Hair

A melt of colors is simply a mix of colors that have been blended together so beautifully, you won’t know where one ends and another begins. That’s definitely the case with this melted purple and lavender hair. There are so many shades of ‘purple’ you could pick from, which means you have plenty of ways to customise this look and make it your own. Pick two or three shades that go well together and get blending. Who knows what magic you might end up creating?

Source: @cryistalchaos

Medium Length Style

Dark red and purple go splendidly together, perfectly shown by this medium length style. The reds are kept towards the top, and they fade into a beautiful purple blend. There are a lot of hues thrown into this look, but that’s what helps to keep it so natural looking. If you went for pure purple all over, it wouldn’t look as ‘natural’, or as discreet.

Source: @kattcolors

Velvet Ombre

If you’re a brunette and you want to dye your hair purple, you better be prepared to put in the leg work. Trust us when we tell you there’s going to be quite a bit of leg work. These dark purple hair color ideas look as great as they do because they are quite hard work. They’re certainly a lot of maintenance. As well as a few hours in the salon, lightening / bleaching your hair, you’ll also have the after-maintenance to deal with, and this can include product-build-up by mixing a touch of your color in with your shampoo and conditioner. Add to this making sure you condition your hair really well after all that damaging and drying-out pre-treatments, and using the right products too.

Source: @pulpriothair

Long Curly Hair with Purple Highlights

Darker hair colors are renowned for not ‘soaking’ up the color as well as lighter hair shades do. That’s why it’s always recommended to opt for lightening and bleaching treatments beforehand if you want your look as bright and bold. Purple isn’t a natural color, and because it’s not natural, it’s usually much harder to achieve than other shades. You will need to refresh your color regularly. If you haven’t gone too multi-tonal, you can get away with doing this at home.

Source: @michellehair

Brunette & Dark Purple

Before you opt for a bright shade of purple, you should make sure that it will match your skin tone. The wrong shade for your complexion could leave you looking washed-out, or more ‘gothic’ than ‘vampy’. We would always recommend heading to a colorist before making your final decision. When you head to your hairdresser, take photos with you of the kind of purple you’d like to have and the kind of effect you want to achieve with it. The more of an idea you can give them, the better the chance of you walking out with something you adore. You want to love your dark purple hair color ideas, not loathe them.

Source: @alexisbutterflyloft

  https://nicestyles.ca/beauty/hair/10-trendy-dark-purple-hair-color-ideas/

[spamzineglasgow]

(REVIEW) Tinkering with the Code of Reality: An Attempt at Exhausting a Place in GTA Online, Michael Crowe (Studio Operative)

Text by Denise Bonetti

>Between the 18th and the 20th October 1974, Oulipo BAE Georges Perec - a Pisces - sits in a Parisian cafe on Place Saint-Sulpice, meticulously recording in his notebook every detail of the busy life of the square. His eyes are alert to 'what happens when nothing happens'.  The more inconsequential the particulars he manages to pick up on, examine, or classify, the more excited he seems to become:

 'Means of locomotion: walking, two-wheeled vehicles (with and without motor), automobiles (private cars, company cars, rented cars, driving school cars), commercial vehicles, public services, public transport, tourist buses.'   

>The conceptual/obsessive experiment in cataloguing is a response to a writing prompt of his own devising, published about a month before in a collection of essays on public and private spaces (the adorably-named Species of Spaces and Other Pieces). Perec's practical exercise calls for the reader/writer to carefully observe the street around them and note *everything* down: one must set about it slowly, 'almost stupidly'; forcing oneself to see the space 'more flatly'. 'If nothing strikes you', says Perec, then 'you don't know how to see'. As it turns out, Perec himself is really good at seeing: after 3 days on Place Saint-Sulpice, his notes are over 50 pages long - mainly one-line annotations about buses, passersby, pigeons, gestures, more buses. He calls it An Attempt at Exhausting a Place in Paris.

>Perec made of this modality (a dry and neutral encyclopedic gaze at the unnoticed) a manifesto. In both writing and living, he called for a shift of attention from the exceptional to the ordinary, for an abandonment of the charmingly exotic in favour of the invisibly unexceptional - according to a philosophy he labels 'anthropology of the endotic'. In the essay 'Approaches to What?', in a somewhat self-referential aphorism, he remarks that 'railway trains only begin to exist when they are derailed, and the more passengers are killed, the more the trains exist.' That the ordinary, in other words, only lives in our attention as soon as it stops being ordinary.

>If this statement is true as it sounds, then, the virtual world of Grand Theft Auto Online must without a doubt be more real than the one we live in. The game's universe is expansive and hyperrealistic to the extent that navigating its space is an experience of an undecidable quality; the abundance of detail is so accurately mimetic and uncannily convincing it that the digital artifice both disappears into an ambient background, and never leaves the centre of the stage. The minutia of IRL city-walking, and of existing in a world that follows its own will (flecks of dust dancing in the wind, catching the sun; overheard fragments of strangers' phone conversations; the gas station attendant's body language in between serving customers), are alienated from us, digitally re-engineered, and presented back to us in the guise of a crime-ridden fictional world. In this sense, the GTA series is one of the most Perecquian exercises to ever exist. (Of course, amusingly enough, Perec's aphorism is also appropriate here on a more literal level: the game franchise is entirely built upon the premise that derailing trains  - but also provoking car accidents, and especially murdering innocent pedestrians - is recommended if not required).

>Because of these underlying continuities between Perec's 'infraordinary' and the process of hyperrealistic world-making in sandbox video games, when I first read about Michael Crowe's re-enactment of Perec's experiment in GTA online (in a cafe, open-mouthed, holding a scone mid-air), I just blurted out 'Of course!' to the stranger sitting across from me. It made complete sense; the connection was there all along, only no one had ever written about it. In his wonderful introduction to the small volume, Jamie Sutcliffe confesses that he is 'jealous and frustrated [Crowe] got there first'. Although he follows this with praise for the book's undeniable 'inventiveness, inquisitiveness and relentless mirth,' I think the underlying reason for the (admittedly shared) envy is not only that Crowe exhausted a conceptual exercise skilfully, and in beautiful prose. He also hit a nerve, exposed a crucial side of the relationship between video games, literature, realism and simulation - and he did it playfully.

>At times, An Attempt at Exhausting a Place in GTA Online time follows closely Perec's model: it obsesses over weather, numbers and registration plates, the colour of people's clothes, passersby (especially women) eating things, commercial slogans, etc. Of course, these strong echoes can only highlight the essential polarities between the two universes: what in Perec's Paris is nature or chance (clouds, the pedestrians' trajectories, their conversations), is always artifice and intentionality in GTA. Even if the the game's phenomenology might be randomised, it is always layers of carefully contrived code that engender it: the player can never forgets this.

>One other definition that Perec devised for the kind of everydayness that escapes our perception is 'the infra-ordinary' - the swarm of details that hover just below the threshold of attention. If Perec's term is certainly appropriate for his preferred subject of writing, the choice of word seems even more significant in the context Crowe's Attempt because its meaning necessarily expands to the digital nature of the space explored. In the city-space of GTA, the 'endotic' and the 'infra' quite literally consist of the hidden workings below (or behind) the surface of game: the structure of its programming, the software's rationale - mechanisms that Crowe often lingers on, his phenomenological descriptions often slipping into conjectures about the game's logical engines:

'That woman is still parked at a green light. Melt down. As other cars approach they brake differently, some jerkily in stages, others in a smoother manner. The computer players seem to have different levels of driving proficiency.'

'There's a pristine jewellery exchange store opposite. Dilapidated buildings probably cost more to design and create in this game, as they would generally have far more detail. ... Directly opposite is the Elkridge Hotel. It can't be entered. I wonder what's inside. Is the book/cube poured full of colour, or transparency, with the road/pavement continuing on the floor? If hollow, how thin are the impenetrable walls?'

Crowe's asides often touch - more or less directly - upon questions of realism and effective simulation:

'The palm trees in front of me are slightly different heights. None look copied and pasted'    

'It would be great if learner driver were going around, veering off cliffs, etc.'

'It's a shame there are no birds, it would add greatly to a sense of realism ... Perec had all kinds of pigeon action in his book'

>Even more interestingly, at times his observations go as far as hinting at the inherent opacity of the concept of mimetic representation itself: what is realism, when truly accurate depictions often seem even more surreal in their uncanny effect? Doesn't GTA's lifelike graphic rendering - like meticulously inventorial writing - draw attention to the very artifice of artistic creation? 

'Very light rain. This slight rain seems realistic, but in Perec's reality the rain stops "very suddenly". If that happened in GTA it would seem like poor attention to detail'.

>In a review of Auerbach's Mimesis, Terry Eagleton elaborates on Brecht's idea that realism really is a matter of effect, not a matter of technique. The definition cannot be applied at the level of production or its methods, it has to depend on reception - at the level of reading, or, in this case - playing. Realism happens between the artwork and the audience's expectations; it's not about verisimilitude, or about whether a text (or video game) recalls something familiar; it's about whether or not the experience of the work matches an unmediated experience of reality: 'Realism is as realism does'. 

>Eagleton concludes that 'artistic realism, then, cannot mean "represents the world as it is", but rather "represents it in accordance with conventional real-life modes of representing it". Realism as we normally understand it, then, has more to do with convention; it is more like an autonomous process of creation than a neutral mode of reporting. At one point, Crowe wonders 'what poets like T.S. Eliot would've added [to the game] by way of details within details'; the underlying idea here is that a deeper and deeper level of realism can only come from fabrication and designed artifice. A truly realistic world doesn't exist, it has to be manufactured and carefully weaved together. Perec, Eliot, the nerds at Rockstar Games: all mods, tinkering with code to fashion a world that feels more real than the invisible one we live in.

>The most prominent strand of reflections in Crowe's Attempt, however, is dedicated to imagining a future in which GTA is so utterly realistic that it surpasses reality itself. Crowe pictures the horizon towards which the GTA series is moving not only as a simulation indistinguishable from its original, but as a utopian uber-world populated by perfect AI characters:

'In future games, players will be able to chat with all computer characters about any topic, for any length of time. The only problem would be that the computer characters would likely find us too boring and go off to chat with another computer character that has also read every line of text and seen every film/artwork.'

'I wonder how detailed these games will become. Could growing a zit in the game affect your character's day? ... Could millions of players all live as microorganisms on the face of a GTA character?'

>The beautifully apocalyptic scale of Crowe's prophecy is made somewhat more ominous by the hazy, yet closed, temporal arc that his little book follows. Whereas Perec opens and concludes every section of his Attempt declaring the time window of his observations, Crowe rarely if never talks about the passage of time in the game ('I dont keep track of time as i should, here or irl'). The only real time marks - vague, atmospheric, possibly just conceptual - are in the names of the 5 sections the book is divided into: '(Daybreak)', '(Morning)', '(Break)', '(Nightfall)', '(Night)'. Crowe's 24-hour cycle - whether referring to IRL or GTA temporality - is possibly more compellingly symbolic than Perec's 3 days. The self-contained movement from dawn, to sunset, and then darkness, lends the volume a sense of closure that it would otherwise lack - given its status as a semi-conceptual exercise aimed at an inherently unattainable objective ('exhausting' a place). 

>This explicitly closed timeline also means that Crowe's subject, and thus his literary project, assume more gravitas than one might expect. What could begin in the reader's mind as a playful pastiche actually becomes more like a tragedy, with Crowe's avatar helplessly standing and witnessing unstoppably violent events, most of which utterly gratuitous. The text is so ridiculously faithful to the Aristotelian unities of time and place (one day, one place), that one might turn a blind eye on its complete lack of any unity of action ('events strictly tied together as cause and effect, adding up to one single story' sounds pretty much like everything this book is not). The book does funny, but it also does serious, poetic - although possibly not cathartic. In a sense, Crowe's avatar is a bit like a postmodern Hamlet: a passive and melancholic intellectual antihero, surrounded by farcical death in a corrupted society.

>In the last section of Crowe's Attempt, '(Night)', the more beautifully poetic descriptive fragments that populate the book gradually increase in number as if to signal the nearing calmness of closure. These are nominal phrases that choose to go nowhere; many are about things that are far away, abandoned, or circular:

'A very high crane in the distance.' '1000s of lights visible from my spot.' 'The window lights have different hues, every light isn't just white. Slight yellow, greens.' 'One side of the sky is pink, the other blue, held apart by purple.' 'A plane flying by way off in the distance.' 'An ambulance is burnt out, two people inside burnt entirely black.' 'A human is spinning around in circles in their car (...).' 'Dropped cigarette on the floor.'

>Before you know it - much, much before the last section - you'll feel stupid for ever thinking this book would be just a parody to lol at, or a kool koncept show your other Highbrow x Lowbrow friends and pat each other on the back for knowing the experimental French literature reference. You'll be moved by how beautiful Los Santos can be - the geometry of its facade architecture; its computer-generated clouds drifting above sports cars, reflecting the light in coupé red or neon purple; private (NPC) citizens relaxing on benches or outside cafes, smoking, eating donuts, eating bagels, talking into their phones to their private (NPC) citizen friends about their job, their boyfriends, their drug problem. I won't say you'll forget the world you're in is a video game you're in - because Crowe won't let you - but I think you will stop caring. 

>An Attempt at Exhausting a Pace in GTA Online is published by Studio Operative, and can be bought at Glasgow's Good Press, or here.