#the astor gambit

[oxventurequotes]

zillah: i'm choking out guard number one with my thighs!

[thatwitchrevan]

The Hobby Horse's genders according to Edvard:

Kasimir and Barnaby: Old man

Lillith: Old girl

Zillah: Old sport

[cinnamonfm]

ic task 006 – interrogation, part iii.

parti i & part ii

📧 from: henrietta.astor@ogden.edu to: astor@da.nyc.gov, marcusastor@acwllp.com subject: Interrogations

Just thought I'd let you both know I'm being called in for another interview on super short notice. I'll let you know once I have any updates.

Henrietta.

📲 Dad - missed call (4) 📲 Mom - missed call (2)

Heni wonders, for a fleeting moment, if this was something that could get easier with time. The whole interrogation thing - the pointed questions, the deliberately uneven chairs, the repeating of questions ad nauseam. It had been unsettling the first time, unsettling the second, and as she takes a seat in the interrogation room for the third time in three years, a stirring in the pit of her stomach makes her think the third time might just be unsettling as well.

"Miss Astor," Agent Choi begins, shuffling the loose sheets of papers in his hands before placing them back on the formica table. A non-verbal full stop. An indicator that something had ended, and that something else was about to begin. "Thank you for taking the time to meet with us." Heni doesn't say anything. There might not be any lawyers present for this interrogation, but if there's one thing she knows, it's not to talk unless absolutely necessary.

"I'm sure you've heard the news," he says then, in what she imagines is largely an effort to fill the silence. She says nothing. Just looks from him, to Murray, to Brown. What higher-ups had they fallen out of step with to be assigned the thankless task of trying to get coherent information out of college students? When no affirmation is immediately forthcoming, he continues: "Did you have any reason to believe that Greer Morrison was dead before any of this came to light?"

The obvious answer, the one that sits at the tip of her tongue, threatening to make an unwelcome appearance, is this: she's been missing for over a year. Is that not reason enough? It's the rational explanation, the simplest explanation. Occam's razor. It's the only thing it could be, right? Everything else is too absurd. There's another moment of prolonged silence as Heni weighs her words carefully. "If I'm being honest," she begins, opting for the liars gambit. "I've tried not to think about that possibility."

She's well aware she's not answering. She's not delusional enough to think they haven't cottoned on, either. But the point isn't to outsmart them. It's to say nothing. To paint yourself as collaborative and cooperative, and most importantly keeping as quiet as you could while your mouth was moving. "So, you and Greer," Choi presses on, pausing to take a sip of his drink. For theatric effect, almost. The cup is placed back on the table, and with it she is offered the rest of his question. "We know you were close. Could you please elaborate on your relationship?"

"No, I don't believe that's necessary. You've put it perfectly. We were close."

There's a faint hint of something in Choi's eyes, then, the sort of disguised frustration you would have to look for to notice. It's there, and then it's not. It couldn't have been visible for more than a second. A fraction of a second, maybe.

So caught up in this is she, that she misses his next question. She hears it, vaguely, enough to make out the words "Penelope" and "Ida", but not enough to piece it together. Not that it matters - they've clearly chalked her momentary lapse of attention up to defiance, and so they've already moved on.

"We understand you were injured of the night on the fire," Choi says, with continued emphasis on the word we, as if to remind Heni that there are two other agents in the room. Or to create this image of the three of them as a cohesive little unit. Three bodies, one mind. There's something about the overstated sense of sympathy in his tone that makes her insides curdle. That makes her want to reach for the fading mark on her leg. He must have felt it, the most minuscule of shifts in the air, because his eyes are directly trained on hers as he speaks: "Do you know why students even were there when they should’ve been at the Commencement Gala?"

The less you say, the less can be used against you later. The less you say, the less can be used against you later. Over and over again the phrase churns in her mind, a reminder to keep her guard up. The informal air of it all is a ruse. No one is taking any notes, sure, but there is a recording device placed between them. There's no such thing as a throwaway comment. "No comment."

It's counter-intuitive, in a way, that to say nothing is the safest bet. Some primal instinct in her wants to speak, to tell them all she knows, but she cannot be certain her name can be kept in the clear if she does. As long as she doesn't speak, she's fine. They've got nothing. It didn't really matter if she had nothing to do with any of it. There was too much to risk.

" Over the past year, have you gotten any anonymous messages? Any threatening ones?" There's another theatrical pause here, one that makes Heni itch to reach across the table and give the coffee cup a push in their general direction. "... Any with misleading information?"

Of course they knew. Of course they fucking knew. She'd been a moron to think going in here solo would be a good idea. "No comment."

"Is there anything you're not sharing with us today?" He asks then, in a tone of voice that indicates that he knows she's hiding something.

When she keeps silent, he slides a business card across the table. "Well, when you change your mind.. get in touch, will you?"

[unofficialoxtimeline]

Shortform Timeline

Okay.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Sabine, this is eight pages, how is it the short version?" Well friend, the main document is 31 pages and it has 48 footnotes. I'm not ready to light that particular candle, so I present this instead. This is an outline of all the events from the Cataclysm to the end of the finale. It doesn't have everything; there is a lot of character stuff that's not included in the interest of space. I think the organization is fairly self-explanatory, but please let me know if you have questions.

THE CATACLYSM

At the time of the Cataclysm (c. K-500):

Between the Cataclysm and K0:

Erasmus Astor discovered the Gap, the Brighteners formed (To the Depths!, The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire)

The Barricade was installed and caused the exchange of ghost energy and magic to stop working (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

A major ecological event shattered the main landmass of Geth (BitD CRB) and made the area around Volisport a wasteland (Into the Deathlands)

Oscillotronic energy was first harnessed by the Barricade and then the ghost fields (The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire)

Geth's second sun was destroyed (BitD CRB)

Between K0 and K47:

Erasmus Astor built the first rail network across Geth (The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire)

The Brighteners spread the idea that the ghost plague was a natural disaster, which was still widely believed by K48 (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

The polytheistic Church of the Ecstacy of the Flesh was founded (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters, BitD CRB)

The Cappellanagas made a pact with an unnamed demon (Murder at Volisport Academy)

The Spirit Wardens figured out how to destroy ghosts (The Wardens of Bellweather Crematorium)

Bakoros joined the Brighteners, after the others but before Kellie

The story of Lady Fyengeh was reinterpreted as a folktale and then an opera (The Marriage of Lady Fyengeh)

After c. K30 but before K47:

Eleanor/Ellie and Kellianor/Kellanor/Kellie Dimmer began researching magic and founded the Dimmer Sisters (The Big Score)

The Dimmer Sisters already knew/believed that the Gap was manmade but Ellie didn't know about the Brighteners (The Big Score)

The Dimmer Sisters moved into an unusual mansion built on the remains of an ancient temple (The Dreadful Dimmer Sisters) in which Eleanor helped to build a vault (The Big Score)

Amadeus Astor inherited the family business and either began or continued using underhanded tactics against his competitors (The Big Score, The Astor Gambit, To the Depths!)

Edvard Lumiere, Barnaby Fortescue, and Zillah Bruzard grew up in Volisport (Dead Man's Debt, A Crimsnight Carol)

Kasimir worked for the Billhooks but was drummed out when he had his accident (The Wardens of Bellweather Crematorium)

Lilith Cappellanaga was born in Tycheros and trained as a spirit assassin (Show of the Weekend)

* These events are presented in order per person, but not necessarily in order relative to each other (i.e. Zillah became famous and then left the ring, but we don't know if that was before or after Edvard was estranged from his family). *

Kellie Dimmer estranged herself from Eleanor deliberately after overtures from the Brighteners (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters), while Eleanor started believing that she and Kellie's beliefs diverged organically, leading her to quit the organization and research on her own (The Big Score)

Kellie joined the Brighteners, in the first position they'd added in centuries (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Kellie increased the efficiency of the Barricade (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Eleanor put together a team before the Hobbyhorses who were all killed, potentially by Kellie (The Big Score)

Eleanor convinced Kellie she was dead (The Big Score)

Zillah Bruzard's mother's family migrated from Akros to Volisport (High Stakes at the Splintered Bone)

Zillah became a famous prize fighter, fighting under the name "The Bruiser", known as a stamina fighter (High Stakes at the Splintered Bone)

Zillah left professional fighting because she thought crime paid better, let rumors spread that there was a scandal (High Stakes at the Splintered Bone)

Lilith moved to Volisport to track a specific, unnamed ghost, some time before K46 (A Crimsnight Carol)

Lilith made the acquaintance of Flint, a ghost trafficker (Ironhook's Bounty), who recommended that Lilith study at Volisport Academy, where she went to pursue her PhD (Murder at Volisport Academy)

Edvard grew up in a wealthy family with one older brother, Lemuel (A Crimsnight Carol) and liked to read train technical manuals as a child (Into the Deathlands)

Edvard went to Volisport Academy, where he appeared in plays (The Marriage of Lady Fyengeh) and was expelled for putting a traffic cone on a statue of the founder (Murder at Volisport Academy)

Edvard went to an unnamed university with his friend Westor and graduated with honors (The Astor Gambit)

Edvard became estranged from his family after spending all their money on oscillotronic research (Dead Man's Debt)

Barnaby Fortescue went to boarding school with Squiffy (Dead Man's Debt) and was in the Army Cadets (To the Depths), but primarily focused on playing polo (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Barnaby summered with Uncle Monty at the manor house at Wisenshire (The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire)

Montgomery Fortescue moved to Castle Wisenshire, began worshiping the Demon Ixis*, and stopped aging (The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire)

Barnaby gained control of his family's finances despite the fact his parents are alive (The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire)

Barnaby invested his familial wealth, heavily favoring construction and property (Dead Man's Debt, Ironhook's Bounty, Fate of the Dimmer Sisters, Magic, Ghosts, Danger, & Death)

Barnaby fell out of contact with Uncle Monty (The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire)

Edvard's friend Westor worked for Amadeus Astor, left his job, then had his business destroyed by Amadeus (The Astor Gambit)

Cornelius Bagshot became the accountant for the Brighteners, who saw him as a risk due to his gambling habit (The Death of Cornelius Bagshot)

The Brighteners' focus moved from advancing science to maintaining the Barricade (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Definite timeline (ish)

c. K-100: 

Burning at the stake was discontinued as a punishment in Volisport (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

K0: 

Kasimir Jones is born in Volisport (Magic, Ghosts, Danger & Death)

c. K8: 

Kasimir works cleaning up an Iruvian temple where the Red Sashes train, develops a lifelong enmity for them, and learns their fighting style (Magic, Ghosts, Danger & Death)

K46: 

K47: 

Amadeus publicly humiliates Edvard by feeding his Lumiere Locks to a penguin, most recent in a string of incidents (Dead Man's Debt)

Lilith visits her family for Crimsnight (A Crimsnight Carol)

PHASE 1

Week 1

Dead Man's Debt: The gang is called together by Eleanor, pressganged by the Lampblacks, steals from and burns down Lizete Morriston's house, releases Phin, and makes enemies of Rosie and Josie Dimmer

Andrel is injured in the fire (The Cab-Con Caper) and Lizete fires a number of her staff (Dead Man's Debt)

Flint acquires a banshee (Ironhook's Bounty, Murder at Volisport Academy)

Barnaby buys into Tri-Pot Security, becoming part owner with Darnell Ironhook (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Week 2

Ironhook's Bounty: Barnaby makes friends with Darnell Ironhook, Lilith tries to start her first union, Flint loses containment and is possessed by the Banshee (Murder at Volisport Academy)

The Cab-Con Caper: Edvard and Kasimir go to a cab industry trade show, Eleanor sends her first vase, Edvard first comes to the attention of Roth Helker (The Astor Gambit)

Week 3

High Stakes at the Splintered Bone: Zillah returns to the ring in the Festival of Fights, Barnaby steals and hides the take, Barnaby is abducted by Rosie and Josie despite the fact he didn't do anything to them

PHASE 2

Half an hour later

The Dreadful Dimmer Sisters: Barnaby is held for ransom by the Dimmer Sisters, the Hobbyhorses infiltrate the Dimmer Mansion, Edvard begins the WMM and the electroplasmic cane, Kasimir ticks a box of load to produce a fine bottle of whiskey, Barnaby is rescued despite it not being the plan

24 hours later

24 hours later

The Gut Cutter Bargain

Kasimir makes inquiries in Crowsfoot regarding potential scores, the Hobbyhorses divvy up the responsibilities to steal the Bracer of Thogroth from the Dimmer Sisters

Lilith and Kasimir visit the Gut-Cutters' base, the Hobbyhorses become allies with the Gut-Cutters

11 PM that night

Kasimir and Lilith lay waste to the Gaddoc Station railyard, Kasimir steals a flask full of leviathan distillate (First Flight of the Sparrowhawk), Lilith learns the ritual to summon a basilisk (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters), Lilith torches the Hobbyhorses' relationship with the Gondoliers

Week 4

* The Astor Gambit and First Flight of the Sparrowhawk take place roughly during the same time period *

Week 5

The Astor Gambit

Edvard and Zillah meet Westor at the Fractured Retort and make a plan to steal the Dimmer Mansion lock plans from Astor HQ, Zillah trains Edvard in high-diving

Zillah and Edvard go to the Astor Innoventions job fair, The Shrek lanthorn is invented by Edvard and then stolen by Astor, Astor confronts Edvard and then gives him to Roth to be tortured, Edvard and Zillah daringly escape

First Flight of the Sparrowhawk: The Aeronaughty Boys win a balloon race, Barnaby gets first blood, Kasimir casts moonbeam, Kasimir passes too close to the ghost field and picks up Coalridge (Foundry No. 12), Barnaby and Kasimir earn the ire of the Railjacks (Into the Deathlands)

The Lampblack Wedding: Zillah and Lilith are hookwinked by the Lampblacks and then blackmail Pickett, Zillah befriends the WMM, Eleanor's Largely Legal Antiques is smashed up, Marlane is sent to jail because of her association with Zillah and the gang pays off the Bluecoats, everything is prepared for the Big Score

Week 6

Murder at Volisport Academy: Flint is overpowered by the banshee and murders Lilith's advisor Emeline Penderyn during a botched exorcism, Luke rolls triple sixes on the engagement roll, Lilith reveals her snakes to Edvard and exorcizes Flint, Flint shares his knowledge about the Demon Esketra

Edvard reads Frankenstein and absolutely gets the wrong idea, then installs a kill switch in the WMM that is given to Amadeus Astor (Magic, Ghosts, Danger, and Death)

The Big Score: Kasimir's electroplasmic cane and the WMM are completed, the Shrek Lanthorn has become commonplace, the Gut Cutters fight the Dimmer Sisters on the lawn of the Dimmer Mansion, Eleanor teleports to the Dimmer Vault, Kasimir blows up the Dimmer Mansion, the WMM is left behind, Eleanor makes her pitch and the Hobbyhorses all accept (see this post for the details on Eleanor and Amadeus's pitches to the Hobbyhorses)

Kellie Dimmer gives the destroyed WMM to Amadeus Astor (To the Depths!)

Amadeus Astor reverse-engineers the WMM and then produces at least thirty of them (Magic, Ghosts, Danger, and Death)

Fall 

Everyone moves in with Eleanor and the six month gap begins

No progress is made in returning magic, Lilith goes back to Tycheros (A Crimsnight Carol), Eleanor's Barely Legal Antiques is mostly cleaned out (The Death of Cornelius Bagshot), Marlane is ousted by Cross and becomes a Red Sash for the money (Foundry No. 12), the gang begin looking for aid from larger criminal organizations but have no luck

Crimsnight: 

A Crimsnight Carol: Edvard and Lilith visit Edvard's past and Lilith's very alive family (unless it's all a dream), Edvard has started WMM 2, the Hobbyhorses have reconciled with the Lampblacks

CHAPTER 2

K48

Week 1

Week 2

The Marriage of Lady Fyengeh

Emeline Morelon is announced as performing Lady Fyengeh, Squiffy appears, Barnaby gets in with Emeline, Edvard starts working at the Opera House

A night at the opera, Kasimir tells everyone his real name, Barnaby hooks up with Emeline and she agrees to help steal the ruby for a cut of the action, Phin announces that the Hobbyhorses are looking for help

Kasimir appears in the Volisport papers for his performance as Barrel Bertie, potentially under his real name (The Marriage of Lady Fyengeh)

Cornelius Bagshot is informed by his contact at the Brighteners that his services are no longer needed (The Death of Cornelius Bagshot)

Kasimir and Zillah tell Edvard the mission went fine (To the Depths!), and either they don't tell him Cornelius Bagshot's name or he forgets it (Into the Deathlands)

Week 3

The Death of Cornelius Bagshot: Kasimir and Zillah have a lovely time at the boxing ring, are approached to fake Cornelius Bagshot's death, pose as a married couple, and then botch everything, Kasimir breaks a contract and receives curse damage 

Week 4 (48 hours later)

A few days later

To the Depths!

Barnaby gets addicted to cocaine, Amadeus Astor has a visit with Barnaby and Edvard, Amadeus blows up Astor HQ and sinks it into the Volis

Edvard builds a submersible version of the WMM and a diving bell, Barnaby, Edvard, Billy Bell, and the SMM retrieve Astor's safe, the Brighteners are first named individually

The next day at noon

Amadeus begins construction of a new HQ, which Barnaby's company gets the plumbing contract for (Magic, Ghosts, Danger & Death)

Amadeus occupies the new HQ long enough for Barnaby's shoddy construction to give him lead poisoning (Magic, Ghosts, Danger & Death)

The Wardens of Bellweather Crematorium

The Billhooks call Kasimir up due to his actions during The Death of Cornelius Bagshot

Kasimir and Lilith agree to exfil a Billhook agent in exchange for not going to war, Lilith reveals to Kasimir that she's a spirit assassin, Lilith gets an internship at Bellweather Crematorium

Week 5

Lilith and Kasimir infiltrate Bellweather Crematorium and exfil Teryn, Bakoros is creating Hollows, a second Bakoros appears and is possibly killed by Lilith

Week 6

The Horrors of Castle Wisenshire: Zillah and Barnaby call on Barnaby's uncle, the Demon Ixis appears and is schooled by Zillah, Monty and Co. are left at Castle Wisenshire, the Hobbyhorses receive Monty's diary, the Hobbyhorses are not yet at war with the Brighteners

Week 8-11

Week 7

Into the Deathlands

The gang goes to the Deathlands to steal a train, Kasimir gets some goats and his babysitting license, the Shrek Lanthorn has exploded in popularity, Barnaby damages his eyes by not wearing goggles and swindles the Deathlands scavengers, the crew disguises the train as a big dog, Edvard uses the name Bagshot and they go into debt paying a bribe

The Brighteners go to war with the Hobbyhorses, presumably because they have found the location of the Barricade (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Kellie leaves the Brighteners on bad terms (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Rosie and Josie Dimmer are arrested on trumped up charges and sentenced to burning by Lord Strangford in retaliation for Kellie's defection (Fate of the Dimmer Sisters)

Roth and Amadeus Astor leave Volisport for the Barricade (Magic, Ghosts, Danger, and Death)

Amadeus Astor uses the spare Barricade parts and the head of the WMM he received from Kellie (The Big Score) to build the Worrisome Maniacal Mech (Magic, Ghosts, Danger, and Death)

Week 12

Fate of the Dimmer Sisters/Foundry No. 12: Please see the inset timeline for these episodes.

24 hours later

Magic, Ghosts, Danger & Death

The Hobbyhorses, Eleanor, Kellie, Bug, and Mumbles leave for the Barricade complex with the locomotive still dressed like a big dog, Edvard develops a way to remotely control the portable WMM and see through his eyes

Zillah and Edvard absail into the vents and use the WMM to get inside, Barnaby convinces the Red Sashes and Roth that he has defected to join the Brighteners, the gang is confronted by Roth who Eleanor shoots dead, the Hobbyhorses, Ellie, and Kellie fight Astor who has turned the WMM into the Worrisome Mechanical Mech, Lilith intends to sacrifice herself but is saved by Barnaby, Amadeus Astor makes his pitch and the Hobbyhorses refuse (see above), Eleanor asks the Hobbyhorses to agree to turn off the Barricade, everyone turns the Barricade off together and a force moves through all of them, Coalridge remains with Kasimir, Kellie leaps through the Gap, everyone leave the Barricade complex by handcart, joined eventually by Barnaby

*Asterisks mark canonical characters from the BitD CRB, a thing I thought I took out for this version but apparently did not

[deathcupcake]

2023 Books Read

Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou | The Husky and His White Cat Shizun/Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun, Vol. 1

Arthur Miller | The Crucible: A Play in Four Acts

R.F. Kuang | Babel

Leigh Bardugo | Six of Crows

Leigh Bardugo | Crooked Kingdom

Joseph Conrad | Heart of Darkness and Selected Short Fiction

Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou | The Husky and His White Cat Shizun/Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun, Vol. 2

Xiran Jay Zhao | Iron Widow

Rosamund Hodge | Bright Smoke, Cold Fire

Yoon Ha Lee | Ninefox Gambit

Ann Leckie | Translation State

N.K. Jemisin | The City We Became

Kristyn Merbeth | Fortuna

Glynis Peters | The Secret Orphan

Jackie Keswick | Caught

Leslie Marmon Silko | Ceremony

Amélie Wen Zhao | Song of Silver, Flame Like Night

Peter Stark | Astoria: John Jacob Astor and Thomas Jefferson's Lost Pacific Empire: A Story of Wealth, Ambition, and Survival

Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou | Remnants of Filth/Yuwu, Vol. 1

Christina Thompson | Come On Shore and We Will Kill and Eat You All: A New Zealand Story

Ursula K. Le Guin | The Left Hand of Darkness

Emily St. John Mandel | Station Eleven

Kristen Painter | The Trouble With Witches

Joan He | Strike the Zither

Sharon Shinn | Whispering Wood

Hester Fox | The Last Heir to Blackwood Library

I enjoyed most of the books, although three were very meh/borderline a waste of time. Of the 25 books on this list, I believe that 21 were written by women and 4 by men. Six of the authors are Chinese or Chinese Americans. Some of the authors are favorites of mine (Jemisin, Leckie), but I'm looking forward to reading more by Joan He, Amélie Wen Zhao, and Xiran Jay Zhao - especially the continuations of the series.

[cicaklah]

Hi cicak! For the fruit emoji ask game :)

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

Blueberries: Hitman - stories with friction and tension! Getting together but it not being smooth! Them having broken up! Conflict! Angst! Happy endings that have been earned!! Two self fulfilling prophesies who don't even have each other!!! (as the prophet neko once sang)

oxventure: honestly I don't need to because @stickthisbig is in the fandom doing the lord's iddiest work.

Grapes: hitman: fuck cabin fuck cabin fuck cabin

oxventure: none really, I would have said astor gambit...actually I'm still astor gambit sexual lbr.

overall: currently imprinting into elden ring lore, might have to write several dozen pervy fics about demigods having fucked up sex. Will never get over the ultimate thing though which is My Own Bullshit TM.

[rexspersonalhell]

Basic Info:

Name: Dracule Astor

Nickname: Gambit

Age: 24 (PTS) 26 (TS)

Pronouns: He/They

Relationships:

Father: Dracule Mihawk

Mother: Cassie Tarnt

Best Friends: Law, Shachi, Penguin, Bepo, and Ikkaku

Crush/BF: Donquixote 'Corazon' Rosinante

Powers:

Devil Fruit?: Yes

Fruit: Eye-Eye Fruit

Power: The user creates eyes on their body to see the secrets of a person they have direct skin contact with (or have consumed something with their DNA).

Awakened: User is able to fuck with the mind and create illusions relating to secrets and insecurities (that they are aware of from previous use) while maintaining skin contact and/or eye contact while activating the power.

Cons: User experiences constant paranoia, constant shadow creatures invading their mind and vision.

Overuse: The first signs of overuse is blood from their eyes and a raging headache. If they continue to push then the user experiences memory loss of the time and a loosening grip on reality. If it's bad enough then the user can be in a state of dissociation for a minimum of a few hours or up to a few days.

Family History/Relationships:

Mother: Astor's mother is a well known strong Marine Vice Admiral, her nickname being 'Strict Mother of the Marines'.

Growing up with her, he was raised into the navy and around them. He once dreamed of being a marine but when he was supposed to be babysat by Garp when he was 10, he was able to get into and read tons of documents of the many cover ups of the Marines.

[Note: He was able to find all of this due to being in Garp's office and the male being asleep].

After that day he kept up the act that he was still wanting to be a marine but planned for his escape once he turned 18.

Father: Astor's father is the world's greatest swordsman, Dracule Mihawk. He was around a little bit as he was growing up, being a warlord made him prone to visit marine headquarters at least once every few months.

Mihawk wasn't looking to be a father and didn't even like his mother in any romantic way but she forced herself onto him and now they had a child.

Astor never tells anyone his last name or his family ties due to many reasons but he took his father's last name since he was the only one he told about his findings and his confusion.

Mihawk wasn't the best parent and stopped talking to Astor as he got older but he taught him how to do business and survive on the sea (after he was informed of his findings and change in dreams).

Picrews:

1 2 3

[snizx]

I love you heist society I love you the astor gambit I love you battle for bardcon I love you quiet riot I love you dead man’s debt I love you mind your manors I love you the marriage of lady fyengeh I love you faire trial I love you bride or die I love you dine hard I love you sect appeal I love you murder at volisport academy

[25thhanabusa]

Edvard and Astor are exes. Ive thought this since The Astor Gambit, but now it's solidified for me. Toxic ex boyfriends, lovers to enemies. You dont have a locket of your hated enemy or blow up a whole building in a dramatic fashion for just anyone.

I have a lot of feelings on the new episode andI am currently working on my doodle dump. I just really wanted to word vomit out an ingeneral idea of my headcannon

[oxventurequotes]

wester: you were saying - astor, revenge, something, sabotage, how can i help you?

edvard: well what i think would be great is if astor were widely discredited, his company went bankrupt and he was driven to take his own life from the despair of his business collapsing and all of his personal relationships falling apart

zillah: but also the custom lock

[eddysocs]

Peaky Blinders OC Masterlist

Name: Angelica Morley

Face Claim: Vanessa Kirby

Love Interest: Alfie Solomons

Fic Title: Angel's Gambit

Plot Summary: Alfie doesn’t expect a young woman at his meeting with a potential ally. Nor does he expect that she was in fact the person he was supposed to be taking the meeting with. A gang leader in her own right, Angelica is looking for a partner, a face for her business and Alfie seems like the perfect man for the job.

Name: Benedetta Moretti

Face Claim: Erin Richards

Love Interest: Luca Changretta

Fic Title: Can’t Keep A Good Girl Down

Plot Summary: Benedetta Moretti is supposed to be dead. But when she walks back into Luca Changretta’s life and business, it’s clear she’s anything but. What her reappearance means for Luca’s dealings with the Peaky Blinders has yet to be seen, as Benedetta always has an agenda of her own.

Name: Elena Barnum

Face Claim: Lea Seydoux

Love Interest: Polly Gray

Fic Title: Along Came Polly

Plot Summary: Elena meets Tommy at The Garrison, and he takes an interest in her. She knows who he is, and finds him charming, so she begins a relationship with him. One day, he takes her to a family meeting on last minute notice and everything changes for her. She becomes one of the family essentially, but drifts away from Tommy and toward Polly.

Name: Gloria Astor

Face Claim: Hayley Atwell

Love Interest: Tommy Shelby

Fic Title: Without A Stitch

Plot Summary: Gloria did her time in the war as a nurse until her older brother George went MIA. She then cut all her long hair off and went to the front, effectively taking his place. She came back to Small Heath a changed woman and took over George’s tailoring business. When the Peaky Blinders come in looking for handouts, Gloria doesn’t take kindly to them. After all, she’s got to make a living, she can’t just go around giving out suits for free now can she? And it certainly doesn’t matter how charming their leader is.

Name: Rosalind Alcott

Face Claim: Michelle Dockery

Love Interest: Arthur Shelby

Fic Title: Fight Or Flight

Plot Summary: There’s no reason Rosalind Alcott should be in Birmingham. It’s only on the whim of her brother and his fiancée that Roz is at a fight at all. When she sees the way Arthur Shelby fights, Rosalind falls a little bit in love with him. So she goes back to Birmingham on her own and begins a secret romance with him.

[dobsmoneylake]

It was my friend’s birthday this month, and I commissioned Hilmark_cards to do art for it!! This is from “The Astor Gambit” and is one of my ABSOLUTE favorite scenes in the series.

[unofficialoxtimeline]

Some Lingering Questions, Part 2

Here's a post about something only I care about that demonstrates a problem with lore built in real time. So strap in, we're going to college.

1. Why did Lilith come to Volisport?

We can definitely say that she came as a spirit assassin to track down an unnamed ghost that was presumably destroyed/released when the Barricade was powered off (The Wardens of Bellweather Crematorium, Magic, Ghosts, Danger, and Death). What else she was going to do in Volisport is contradictory; she says repeatedly she came to Volisport to study, but she also says that Flint* is the one who told her to study at the Academy (Murder at Volisport Academy), but unless she met Flint before she came to Volisport, she apparently just decided to get a PhD when she got there.

If you have ever tried to get a PhD, you will know that starting a PhD all of a sudden is both not how it works and also absolutely bizarre.

The most logical resolution is that she met Flint while one or both of them were traveling, he told her to study at the Academy, she applied or arranged to be admitted, she came to Volisport and entered the Academy.

*Flint is a canonical character who is one of the starting allies for the Whisper playbook (Blades CRB)

2. Where did Edvard go to university?

There is a consistent problem with shows based on improv with a persistent world that's best summarized by "If everything's a joke, nothing's a joke." It's a little easier in RPG shows, because I have generally considered things attached to a mechanic as canon (they spent coin, did a flashback, took stress) and eyeballed the rest. The problem becomes, how many references constitutes a canonical statement?

Edvard's college career is described three separate times in three different ways. Roth has transcripts that put Edvard as graduating with honors from an unnamed university (The Astor Gambit). Edvard says that he went to Volisport Academy, where he did theater (The Marriage of Lady Fyengeh) and got kicked out or sent down/reprimanded (Murder at Volisport Academy).

Per Luke's description and the BitD CRB, Doskvol/Volisport Academy doesn't offer engineering, oscillotronics, or spark-craft. Those subjects are covered at Charterhall/Volisport University*.

One logical solution is that Edvard was made to/chose to go to Volisport Academy to study something that wasn't spark-craft/oscillotronics. He either was kicked out or transferred to Volisport/Charterhall University where he was a student with Wester and graduated with honors (The Astor Gambit).

It also makes sense that a joke that was funny in the moment got written into canon on top of something that already existed. Stories about Edvard doing weird shit in college didn't stop being funny, so it kept compounding.

So if you're wondering why this project took over a month

*Wester and Roth never name this university; this name comes entirely from Edvard shouting "VOLISPORT UNIVERSITY RULES!"

[randomthunk]

A reply to this video - 

I have drawn this!

Corazon giving Prudence a piggyback which, trivia, was referenced in the podcast episode of Sect Appeal (Part 1) And the piece being commented on, Zillah carrying Edvard over her shoulder, which, more trivia, I drew before that same thing (basically) happened in The Astor Gambit

I’vedrawnalotofstuff

[cicaklah]

I before i go tackle my inbox of ficlet prompts I just caught up on oxventure blades in the dark and have feelings about Zillah teaching Edvard to swan dive so...miiiild spoilers for the second episode of the Astor Gambit.

--

Walking the streets of Volisport, it's obvious that Astor knows his stuff, takes seriously security, probably to stop people breaking in and taking their stuff back, if half of what Edvard says was true. Zillah's not sure exactly how he manages to steal all of Edvard's good ideas, but she's got theories. Not ones she'll speak before she's given more hints, but she's a woman of the world. She's seen a spurned lover or two in her time.

Though, men are weird. It might just be common or garden betrayal, but if Zillah was a better rather than someone people bet on, she'd have a flutter that there was something emotional there too.

Edvard's muttering about how the upgrades on his zipwire are going too slow, berating himself for being distracted with mechanical men. Zillah interrupts him, "How tall do you think it is? In feet."

"if it's a regulation building" he says, "75 feet. But it's likely to have high ceilings. Say 85 to be safe, old girl."

She waves her hand. "Pfft. Easy. Come on."

"What? No, Zillah."

"Trust me. You trust me right?"

"Of course", and she likes that about him, how sincere he is, how this isn't a lark for him like it is for Barnaby or Lilith, and how he's still learning, not jaded like Kasimir. She feels kinship, both professionals trying their hand at this new world, determined to make a success of it.

"Then meet me tomorrow at...you know the furnicular stop at the magnolia wall?" He nods. "Okay meet me there at 11. Bring something to wear you don't mind getting wet."

When they meet there, he's wearing loose trousers and a jacket fastened over the distinctive striped woollens of a swimming costume. Hes traded his safety goggles for a pair of waterproof ones, and they're pushed up in his hair.

They walk the short way to the cliff face, and make small talk about the rubbish Barnaby has been spouting, and the aftermath of the last heist, until they reach a secluded spot known as cowbell drop.

He's a good learner, and it's fun teaching him how she wish she'd learned, rather than just shoving him over the edge and praying to her ancestors he won't die, or at least if he does he won't leave a corpse. She's always had affinity with the mysteries of the deep. Loved those stories the best, but whule she's never felt l'appel du vide, she's often felt l'appel du depths.

In return he explains why certain things work, but not in a condescending way, but as equals, as if she was a colleague at a university and not a brawler with a few too many concussions under her belt. He's produced a picnic as thanks, and it's a lovely day up on the cliffs, just the two of them and the seagulls. The sandwiches are good ham and sharp cheese and pickle, ladies choice, and it's been so long since someone bought her lunch for nice reasons.

Look, you've got the theory, she says. Just watch me.

She stretches, and notices he keeps his eyes on her face, respectfully.

As she turns to face the edge, Edvard calls her namr. "Aren't you going to change?" He stutters. Zillah looks down at her clothes, she picked her second best set on purpose, and shrugs. "Why? Saves a trip to the laundry this way," spreads her arms, and falls.

Diving had always been a pleasure, the closest thing she'll ever come to being a bird and escaping the seedy streets, no matter what Edvard says about his amazing icarationaries being close to being done. Man wasn't meant to fly, not when the gods made him so good at falling.

She breaches the water with a splash, and when she resurfaces she can just see the tiny figure of Edvard peering over the edge.

She swims to the side of the river and perches on a rock. The sun's nice and hot, now it's nearing midday, and she'll be dry in no time. She pulls out a pair of darkened glasses so as to be able to look up, no one wants to get cow sickness from staring at the sun, and watches Edvard prepare himself. So far away she can't see the detail, but she's sure he's psyching himself up. Finally, the figure stretches it's arms out and gives a little jump, and falls in a perfect swan dive into the calm blue waters. Zillah watches the shape under the water brace and then kick, and then Edvard resurfaces. He isn't half as scrawny as his slim cut suits make him seem, she realises as he swims towards her. Underneath, and in his soaking wet costume, his body is, well, fit. Fit and masculine and deliciously hirsute where the wool has sagged and exposed his chest and ridden up on the thighs from the downdraft. Behind her sunshades, Zillah takes a moment to appreciate him as he pulls himself onto the riverbank, his luxurious moustache dripping with river water, his compact frame nicely muscled, and the sheer delight in his ice blue eyes, and thinks "oh no."

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Back here with another episode of:

Read Part 1 here!

If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!

Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1

Alrighty then, so let’s just jump into it!  

- - - - - - - - - - 

Recap! So when we last left off, we had just finished off Act 1 of the story. We’ve used the character introduction segments and the gambit feature as a means to give more life to everyone, without sacrificing too much cutscene time. Allowing us to save and focus the major story details and set up on the more cinematic cutscenes.

I had forgotten, but after Part 1 came out, an anon pointed out that Impa’s character introduction could use some work, and while you don’t need to read it right now to understand the rest of this post, I encourage you to look at it eventually to see the strengths and flaws in the original Impa introduction, and the reasons for my rewrite changes! All you need to know is that eggbot was lying around, deactivated, but when in proximity to the Sheikah Slate, was turned on like other Guardians. Eggbot being activated by the Sheikah Slate is kinda brushed over in the original game? But in my rewrite it’s gonna have some later significance. Also during the Royal Lab cutscene, I want Robbie or Purah to mention how Zelda’s control of the Sheikah Slate is quite exceptional or something. It’s a bit obvious already in Hwaoc, but I need it to be verbally said in a story scene for, again, later significance. Alright that’s it for my added details, moving on now. 

After Chapter 1, we moved into the characters accepting the Call to Adventure, whether by the general external reasons of wanting to save the world, and developed a little bit further with more internal related reasons to give nuances and identities to different characters. Revali wishes to prove that his hard work earns him better merit than a sidekick, Urbosa wishes to protect and help Zelda on an emotional level, Mipha wishes to get closer to Link and come back to her family proud, etc etc. 

Then, the climax of Act 1 ends with the Yiga ambush, and the characters get a first taste of leaving their areas of comfort, and journeying into the unknown world. Although the gameplay and the successful defeat of the Yiga establishes the Champion team’s strength, our interaction with Rhoam shows us that they still have a ways to go. The momentum into the full story now has a bit of tension and conflict. 

So now we crash into the beginning of Act 2, the longest Act in a story, as it’s the part where the....story, happens. Let’s take a look at changes to the Hollows, eggbot mysteries, Zelda character growth, and our first real dip into the character of our antagonist, the Prophet of Doom himself, Astor…

So in the game, Chapter 3 opens on the flank of Death Mountain, our heroes overlooking the view of Korok Forest.

There are a few problems I have with this scene. It’s really stale, there’s no movement, nothing dynamic about it other than the opening shot. They just kinda stand there and say words until Revali’s done ranting and summons Medoh. Also Revali’s dialogue is a bit “much” to say the least, and uh, spoiler alert, he’s gonna be reworked a bit more than the other Champions. Finally, this scene doesn’t have a lot of purpose or substance. Sure, it has some character conflict with Revali and Link and the team, but that’s kinda established already, plus it’s something that I’ve already fleshed out in the last scene with King Rhoam, so it’s a bit redundant. So that leaves this scene serving only as a boring current draw to the Medoh fight and nothing else. This is the opening set up for the Chapter where important story stuff goes down! Needs a lot more substance. So! Here’s my rework. 

We open on the sound of running. Link, along with Zelda, Urbosa, Daruk, and Mipha are running upwards on a path by Edlin. They’re chasing a small group of bokoblins and it looks like it’s the end of the fight. Urbosa is more near the back, with Zelda, but Daruk and Mipha both kill a bokoblin, their bodies of the monsters exploding in a cloud of malice upon their demise. When the camera shows each of their kills, the shots are quick, but I want the angle of the camera to be in such a way that the malice evaporates center frame, with Daruk and Mipha being behind the malice. This is because for a split second, it looks like the malice lingers around them like smoke. Huh, I wonder if that’s foreshadowing or something.

Anyhow, Link chases the final red bokoblin uphill, boots pattering against rock. However, we’re now seeing this from a moving, flying, bird’s eye view [quite literally wink wink] 

Cut back close to Link, he kills the bokoblins. Stands there for a sec as he sheathes his sword. And then...

“Well I’ll be plucked. You defeated it, eh?” 

Reveal Revali flying from above, and he lands in front of Link, but faces away from him. “Who would have thought that some little knight, amongst a group of chosen heroes, would get some action. You must be pretty proud of yourself, hm?” Cue that classic Revali head turn with a glare. Also when Revali says “heroes” I want him to flick his scarf dramatically, while staring at Link’s armour, as if internally he were judging Link on a runway.

Zelda runs up and starts speaking. “Oh Revali, I apologize our meet up with Medoh got a bit delayed. I assume that you’ve already positioned them by now for the attack?”

Revali hums a yes, but doesn’t bother to entertain a more fleshed out answer. Instead, he flicks his wing (as if to say, “come on”) and turns his back to walk up the trail. The others follow.

“I was informed that only the Champions and yourself would be present. What are…” Revali flicks a wing in the direction of Link and eggbot, like a Karen shooing a waiter. “...they, exactly contributing?”

Zelda says some stuff about Link being her bodyguard like: “Well, my father was impressed enough with Link’s actions from the other week that he’s assigned to give me further protection.’ She can say this a bit grumpily, to Link’s ignorance. Daruk can pipe in like “And a good thing too! Always great to have little guy at our backs.” and Mipha can nod sheepishly or something. But their dialogue is cut off by another rude interjection (because hell if Revali wants to listen to more rambling about Link)

“Right, right. And this thing is still around?” Revali gestures to eggbot. 

Zelda: “Well, This little one's technological prowess has been quite useful in battle, allowing us to access the rune functions and all. So I figured it’d be a big help should something unexpected happen. Plus...” cute shot of Zelda staring at eggbot, “it just...feels right.” Then the little eggshit can like, chirp happily or make some cute whistle or whatever. Just shove in a bit of that egg fanservice, might as well since I need to better establish its presence for later.

Revali mutters something about “big help,” before gesticulating with his wings as he continues walking up the trial. “Mooore like a big liability should anything happen to your little pet, and one of us be forced to risk our lives just to save it from becoming scrap. Honestly, when it comes to you, and you.” Revali points to both eggbot and Link, “Your presence is an entire waste of time. ‘Backup?’ Help?’ Tsk. Humouring.” Eggbot can make a noise or something while Link just tilts his head. Revali continues: “You’re only here because of a non-existent, fantastical, imaginary hypothetical in which I somehow fail, and I don’t, fail.” When he articulates that last part, he stops walking and does another little head turn/glare, but he still doesn’t bother to fully face him. “I’m sure that your duty will no longer be of importance once your reputation...is nothing but a memory overshadowed by today’s great feats. A forgettable knight, heh heh!”

“Revali,” Urbosa sighs, “How long do you expect us to put up with your showboating and prattle?”

That when Revali finally turns fully to face the group, with a more grim glare. They’ve reached the top of the ledge anyhow, so they’ve stopped walking. This is where the camera can view the Lost Woods in its fullest as it zooms on Revali. Then, that ending is the same as the game with the pan up to Medoh’s presence. 

“Fine. I’ve said enough. The time has come to show you what I’m made of. Now witness...Vah Medoh’s divine power!”

So that’s that. Revali is toned down a bit, and his rude remarks have more of a precision as to their point. It’s a bit hard to explain over words alone, but the fact that this scene takes place as the Champions are walking up the trail, means it’s a lot more interesting to look at. (Kinda like the walk and talk premise that you see in The West Wing) Plus, the trail being uphill establishes that hint of power dynamic as Revali is above everyone else. Also there’s just a bit of some botw dialogue connection, not only in just the opening, [Hwaoc Revali vs Botw Revali “Who would have thought” is put in different context based on their development, so it’s a good establishing point to show where this Revali is at in dynamics with Link in comparison to botw, all in just one line rather than in a more longer explanation] but I also scattered a few dramatic irony pieces in there heheh. There’s a lot more reasons why this scene is an improvement [and hopefully to you, it already *feels* better] but I’m not going to explain them until near the end, as its importance is connected to the later scenes of this Chapter.

In fact, that's the overarching change that I’ve made to these cutscenes, I’ve actually connected them and related them to the other scenes. This is the very first introduction to Chapter 3, after all, so it’s important that this introduction serves to be of more significance than “ok here’s the champions, here’s revali, there's medoh. Now go wreck stuff.”

Medoh’s fight is the same, the cutscenes after are mostly the same. Except here, when everyone runs into Korok forest and you see Astor, I want this scene to end not on Astor’s face (because it’s not as significant anymore since we’ve already see Astor in full in Chapter 2 with Urbosa’s stage) but it should end with Astor reaching out a hand towards the camera. The camera angle would be just a bit below Astor. This is because I want the implication to be slightly more clear that he killed those two Yiga underlings to craft the Hollows. It’s a nice little “watch it for the first time it doesn’t mean anything” but watching again it’s like “ohh how did I not notice that” kind of thing. 

Then, Hestu’s introduction is roughly the same. I don’t think I really need to rework it too much, since Hestu as a character doesn’t serve anything major to the plot, so it’s fine for it to just be fun and cute. I will however, change just a few pieces of dialogue. 

Revali: “Are we even making progress? We could just be going in circles.”

Daruk: “Good point. If only someone could fly above and scout the way.”

Revali: “As though I could see anything through this muck. Honestly, do you even think before you speak?”

Revali!!! Don’t be so rude to Daruk. Like yes it’s a bit funny, but that last part with “do you even think before you speak” is a bit much, because honestly Revali doesn’t really have a reason to hate Daruk. He’s characterized as being rude to Link and those he deems unworthy of respect, but Revali respects Daruk, Mipha, and Urbosa fairly well, considering they were chosen alongside him. So personally, I’d just tweak this to

Daruk: “Good point. If only someone could fly above and scout the way...”

Mipha snickers at this. And Revali mutters more quietly to himself, “As though I could see anything through this muck.” and gives little “hmph!” at Daruk, moving away.

There we go! It still serves it purpose of showing how the Champions are still not completely in sync (which is what I can assume was the original purpose of Revali’s rude comment line) but it’s played a bit more comedic (which makes sense considering this is in the context of Hestu’s introduction) and we get to poke fun at Revali, since just early we had spent so long boosting up his ego. Also Mipha laughing a bit with Daruk while Revali broods adds to that point of them being too busy to see Hestu right behind them.

Another small change, I don’t want Zelda to discover Hestu first. I want eggbot to discover Hestu, maybe they shake their maraca and eggbot notices and gives a little curious whistle. When Zelda notices eggbot not walking with her, she looks right, and that’s when she notices Hestu. It’s almost insignificant, but I really want to establish the eggbot’s presence for this chapter. Especially since this game writes him out of cutscenes a lot. 

Final small change. That Hestu scene ends, not with Revali wordlessly shaking his head and following the group after hanging back. But with Mipha actively turning back, saying something like “Come, Revali. We should all stick together. It wouldn’t do for us to get lost.” and then a reply like “As far as I’m concerned, when it comes to mystic swords, magic trees, lucky knights, and walking eggs...I already am.” I’m just trying to keep intact that Nintendo “vibe” of flicking the character stances right in your face, especially since this game's only forms of telling the story are through these less than a minute cutscenes. 

OKAY! Gameplay stuff. There are no real mechanic or level design changes to the Battle of Korok Forest, BUT there is one important change that I want to make here. 

When the party splits up to take on the bosses in order to get rid of the malice. I think that the Hollows should speak.

Not like full on sentences and stuff (yet) but I think they should mumble and groan and be able to speak a few simple words. Now why do I say this? Well, let’s take a look at how I think we should introduce them. 

First off, I think it should be a cutscene. Not just some 2 second animation where the Hollows spawn in. Nonononononono, this needs to be a cutscene, because it needs to be acted, because we need to see the character reactions. Like, if you’re gonna have that cliche “dark evil clone of the protagonists” thing, then you might as well go all out with the angst. In fact, personally, I would have rewritten is as the hollows actually *being* the champions and astor can temporarily control them but then when he sees that fail later in the game that can be his motivator for making the blights to kill them off since they’re no longer of use to him alive or whatever but we’re scrapping that idea because like I've said I want to try to keep the integrity of the original story.

Ok, so you have a character come up to one of the map points, and when they get there it fades into a cutscene. It’s not gonna be super long, but here’s the vision. 

Character is in the lost woods, they killed a stalbokoblin or whatever. Just some low tier enemy, and then it dies and becomes that whisp of malice. Great. Character turns to leave, but then they hear something. Like a snicker, or laughter. Cut to this angle from behind the trees, but instead of astor it’s the character you’re playing as.

They go over to investigate, creeping closer with caution, until they see a shadow. The shadow of a small figure, about no higher than Link, with a long, trident weapon. 

FWOOSH! An explosion of malice, almost like a fountain behind the character. They turn just in time to block the attack, the Lightscale Trident, but yet...it’s not the Lightscale Trident, because it’s covered in malice. Hollow Mipha is striking from the air, because this is basically her fountain teleportation thing, but malice. Once the character blocks the attack, time slows just a bit so you can see Hollow Mipha’s face, and then cut to the other characters face to give them a reaction. And that’s it. 

Then you can pop back into gameplay, but there should be textboxes on the bottom where you can see the character’s surprised reaction like

[Unimportant detail, but if Daruk fights his Hollow self I want his reaction to be like “Woah! I sure look grumpy. I look like I skipped breakfast.” and then his gambit attack is like “eat THIS!” Also Revali can say something about how imitation is a form of flattery]

Through that fight, the Hollows also have like one textbox and a line of Evil™ mumbling and/or laughing once they’re defeated. The laughing is kinda used in a later scene, but it’s never really seen again so I just want that to be more prevalent. You all could probably think of more angsty “evil version of you” lines that are specific to each character, but I’m just thinking stuff like “You...won’t...last” or even just *muttering*. In fact, this is another thing that I want to flesh out with my gambit feature. It not only serves as interaction between whatever two characters you’re playing as, but also as interaction between your antagonists. So if you use a gambit on Kohga, he’ll say something specific about the characters he’s fighting. Same idea with Sooga, or Astor, and now here, the Hollows can say stuff to you.

There’s gonna be someone out there more creative than me out there that can think up some cool dialogue for them, but basically what I want to establish is that we know that these Hollows are made from people’s like, souls? Or life force or whatever you wanna call it. So it wouldn’t be farfetched to give them the ability to speak. Over the course of the game, I want their textboxes/dialogue to be more and more lifelike, like without the pauses or muttering. This is because the entire point of the dialogue is not only to serve that trope of “I’m the evil you I’m gonna say stuff that emotionally impacts you mwahaha” but it also makes them just a bit more menacing in my opinion. Also overall gameplay wise, I think they need to become stronger with the Champions because idk if it was just me, but they were so easy that I just forgot about them. 

So! Korok Forest Battle introduces these creepy mumbling Champions, people react and are a bit freaked out, but they eventually clear the malice and we hit the next cutscene. 

This is where the shit goes down.

You all probably remember how this scene goes down so I’ll try not to spend too much time explaining it. But here’s my two cents as to why I’m gonna rewrite it a bunch. I think it’s not a good villain reveal. 

Like first off, it doesn’t establish Astor as a threat. His memorable action here is the summoning of the Hollows, and while yes, they do beat up Link and that’s very good, it also let’s Link easily beat them and Astor as soon as he gets the Master Sword IN THAT SAME SCENE. There was no time to let the threat of Astor linger, and when we see Link instantly beat him once he gets his Mcguffin, it really hinders the effect of this reveal.

Secondly, everyone is just silent during this??? Like, obviously Link doesn’t say anything, but Zelda doesn’t do stuff? Astor just kinda says “kill her!” and thats about it. Zelda never says “who are you?” or “what do you want?” or anything because as far as she’s concerned this is just some random dude, he’s not Yiga or anything. Also Astor never even introduces himself?? Throughout the entire game??? So while we the player know who he is because of his fancy title card, as far as all the characters are concerned he’s just a Mystery Clown.  

It’s just super weird how no one asks any questions during this scene like no one acts like a human being with common sense. In fact, one could say that no one asks any questions for this entire game. Things just happen, and happen, and happen, and everyones just kinda chill. And then Zelda just kinda receives 17 flashbacks over the course of two minutes at the end of the game like she’s speedrunning botw memory%. Obviously having an aura of mystery over the course of your game is fine, it’s good to keep questions lingering over the audience’s head. Just so long as you answer them in a satisfactory way later on. Like, that’s not something I need to spell out for you right? If you set up a question, give the audience a good answer. If you set up a mystery, give a cool explanation. If you set up an interesting character you have to give the people a pay off that was worth their investment into them, right? Right? Right? You understand right? Cause as the writer for a story, it’s you’re to explain the significance and importance of why things happen in a creative way. It’s almost as if that’s the entire purpose of storytelling, you know, an explanation of events in a compelling manner. Like please, this is a concept that you are able to grasp right? This isn’t just me right? See that’s how writing works when setting up anything ever, you gotta give an explanation to the choices you make in the plot. You gotta explain why. You gotta explain why. Explain why. Explain why. Explain, why? Explain, why? Why? Why? WHy? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WH

Sorry I got carried away. Anyhow, here’s the rewrite. 

Link and Zelda don’t enter the forest at the same time. They run through the wooden tunnel thing, and Link makes a gesture like “go!” while he stays back a bit to hold off some monsters like stal-lizalfos or something. So Zelda runs into the center of Korok Forest.

As far as any of the characters know, this is a safe haven now, this was their destination, so there’s no monsters here, so they’re good. The princess is safe, the Champions are just cleaning up in their respective corners of the forest with the Hollows, and Link is fighting off the monsters by the entrance. So while there is still tension from the battle, Zelda lets out a sigh of relief once she sees the Master Sword. 

She approaches it, cautiously, but doesn’t step onto the stone pedestal, still staying a ways back in the grass. “We’re finally here,” she says to herself. “Now we just have to protect the sword, await for the hero to retrieve it, and await for destiny to arrive.” She looks down at the ground, and then at the back of her hand (fuck what hand was the one with the triforce, her left hand? I’m gonna say left hand). So she looks down at the back of her left hand, before letting it fall. She turns away from the Master Sword and to herself she just mutters, “I only wish that I could make as much progress in fulfilling my own role...in making myself to be of actual use, like the others.”

There’s a moment of silence as Zelda wraps her elbows and closes her eyes. Then,

“If that is what you wish,” a sudden voice echos, and Zelda spins around to face it, “Then perhaps I can be of some assistance.”

Cut to Astor, standing in front of the Master Sword, facing Zelda. Roughly where he is shown here, but Zelda is a couple feet away from him, standing on one of those rocks.

Zelda steps back in shock for a moment. “W-Who? Who are you?”

“Me?” He takes one step down the stairs. “Oh, I am just someone, same as you, who wishes to see destiny fulfilled.” Zelda takes another step back, and seeing this, he stops approaching. “Ease your mind, Your Highness. There is no need to be frightened. You may call me, Astor”

Cut to title card on his face, it can be like this, BUT, no malice or glowing magic around him, it’s all still lush green forest, and I don’t want as much focus on his astrolabe. It’s just his face, and he’s giving a warm, yet chilling smile.

Zelda is still stammering. “Y-You...do I……. how did you—”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters now is taking every step towards stopping the Calamity, correct?” Astor starts to take a step towards her again, and this time Zelda doesn’t flinch.

“Y-Yes. Yes of course. But I’m afraid I’m still a bit confused. ...What exactly do you...want?”

Astor doesn’t immediately answer. He steps off the pedestal and starts to circle around Zelda, eyeing her, but still with that creepy smile. “Tell me, Princess, how fares your recent training? Adequate progress, I presume?”

He continues circling around her, still a few feet away. Zelda looks to the ground, defeated. “I’m afraid not. I’ve been trying to aid the researchers with the Guardians and Divine Beasts. But when it comes to this power…” she looks down at her hand again. “...it seems despite my great efforts and restless hours of prayers, they have yet to awaken.”

Using his free hand, Astor places a hand on his chest, tilting his head in a sorry pout. The gesture seems exaggerated. “My...you poor thing. How harrowing this must be for you.” He continues walking, eyeing her as he circles behind. “But, I am certain it is not your fault. You are but a child, after all.”

“I…” Zelda is still staring at the ground in front of her. Astor continues.

“I mean really, have you ever stopped to think about how absurd this all is? A collection of mis-match warriors, demanded to pilot gods. A sword for an unseen hero. The lives of us all, in the hands of one girl. Expected to lead us all, awaken a divine power, and save the world, all before her 17th birthday…”

After a beat, Zelda finally looks up at him, confusion and suspicion back in her eyes. “What did you say?”

Astor stops walking, he’s back directly in front of the pedestal. The camera is on him center frame, so that when he turns to face Zelda, his figure blocks the sword. 

“Now Princess, is that truly what you want? Do you really believe yourself prepared to live up to such a monumental task?” He’s walking directly towards her now, arm outstretched. 

“I—” Zelda pauses, before shaking her head. “Of course not, but that doesn’t mean—”

“Yeesss. Precisely! You needn’t not let yourself live like this, like some beggar to the gods, like a failure.” Astor is walking more quickly towards her, and Zelda is stepping back.

Zelda lets out a gasp of fear now, as Astor approaches, there’s a swirl starting to form around the astrolabe in his hand. “I don’t understand! What’s your point, what do you want? Who are you!?”   

He stops walking, he’s so much closer now, just a foot or two away from her. “It’s quite simple my dear.” He gives another smile. “I’m a man who wants to live.”

Fwoosh! The air around them is now tinted purple, the astrolabe’s power surrounding them both. Zelda gasps again. 

“If we truly wish to see this realm prosper, we must accept the indisputable truth.” Astor reaches out his hand. “You are not worthy of saving this Kingdom. You do not have the power to oppose such an unimaginable enemy! Therefore I shall relieve you of your burden, for the sake of us all. I will steal, your, destiny!”

Astor is seconds away from touching her, before suddenly...the sound of a sword unsheathing.  

Astor flies back, crumpling on the steps of the pedestal, he looks up to see Link, sword at the ready. Link had pushed astor back with the pommel of his sword [because no stabbing or blood for our PG Nintendo game] and the motion has cause him to drop his astrolabe, which now lies a few feet in front of him in the grass. 

“Link!” Zelda says, relieved. From behind, eggbot also appears. It walks infront of Link and gives a little whistle and does that sassy pointing thing in the direction of Astor, as if telling him off. 

Astor frowns when he sees Link, but when he sees eggbot his face morphs into confusion. “You…? But I…” he glances at his astrolabe. Astor gets up to retrieve it and stands.  

“It doesn’t matter how you’re here again. You can’t stop this.” Astor summons the Hollows, and they appear in front of him. It was harder to see in the lost woods, but here in the lush grass, its undeniable that the Hollows are draining the plant life around them. 

“Kill whoever he is. Fight the Guardian if you must, though I’d prefer it intact. But don’t touch the girl.” He narrows his eyes. “Her thread shall be cut by my hand alone.”

Then it goes into that action sequence. Link is desperately fighting off the Hollows, while also trying to keep eggbot close to protect it. The hollows are laughing, even taunting him, as Astor is just walking calmly forwards towards Zelda, and Link can’t do anything to stop it. 

Then it’s roughly the same, Link flies back as his sword breaks. Zelda is kinda helpless. And then just as Astor is about to reach Zelda again, Link cries out, the Master Sword glows. Everyone looks back, confused. Link pulls the sword. Boss fight. 

After the fight and after Link defeats Astor, he’ll say something like. “That sword...is too powerful.” and blah blah blah. He looks up at Zelda. “Should you come to your senses, Your Highness,” he hisses the words, “I will delightfully accept an invitation with your company again.” He glares at Link. “Perhaps one day, when we have more time, you will fully come to understand where your arrogance is leading you.” He stands, though clutching his side in pain. “Until then, I shall make certain we meet again.” Link charges him, but he disappears in smoke and malice. End the Korok Forest arc.

Okay so! Why is this scene better? Uhhhhhhhh because it fucking is that’s why. We got 1) A villain introduction that’s more menacing 2) an establishment of character goals, but a mystery of character motivation to keep suspense 3) a more insightful look at different character’s feelings and thoughts 4) a much more interesting interaction with dialogue that raises tension and properly climaxes to the action and 5) the story’s momentum moves forward with ascending action, and new story details that set up later scenes. 

I find it absolutely absurd that in the original game, these scenes are not written with more impact. This is the first look into the real mystery and substance that the story has to offer, and the first real look into the prime antagonist’s head. The actions and stakes throughout Act 2 have to properly ascend and rise in order to truly keep the audience engaged. You can’t just rely on mystery alone, you have to make use of character goals. 

Reiterating Zelda’s internal struggles means that this can more easily connect and flow into the later segments where she doubts her ability and sees Link and the others grow stronger. In addition, Astor’s presence is a direct foil to Zelda’s arc. You can already see it a bit based on his dialogue, but I will more fully explain the true depths of how his is a direct foil to Zelda further down the line when all the aspects of his character are revealed. It’s almost as pacing the amount of information you give about a character can properly incite your audience to be more invested in the story, hmm. Anyhow, all you need to know for now is that good antagonists have similarities and aligning viewpoints as the protagonist in the beginning of the journey, much more, than you might think.

= = = = = 

That is it for now! I can’t believe I had to dedicate an entire section to just one battle. But! That is how the story must go, as I need to flesh out as much as possible in only a few cutscenes without ruining the pacing. Tune in next time for flashbacks, backstory, Yiga husbands, token Zelink hours, aaand perhaps just a bit of Impa simping.