#the armor details and the way the cape flows is so cool

[jinxthejubilee]

Halloween Binge: Day 17 👿 🍪

In honor of this glorious holiday and all the delicious treats that come with it, I've decided to rank the villains' outfits from the game Cookie Run!

Note: This list is solely based on my opinion, and honestly, this list was really hard because I love each and every one of their designs so much.

This is also coming from a purely design standpoint, their personalities are a completely different story.

Starting this time from #10 all the way to #1, without further adieu, let's bake to it!

10) Toothpaste Cookie

His name alone isn't winning him any favors.

Just the thought: a cookie made of toothpaste. Shudder

For real though, he mostly loses points for originality, since he's just a re-skin of Mint Choco Cookie. I know that that's the point, since he's an alternate version, but still.

His violin looks cool though! I'll give him that. But with way he's holding it, makes it look more like a guitar than a violin.

I really have nothing else to say, he's just bad boy Mint Choco. Nothing more, nothing less.

9) Mushroom Cookie

Look! I love my stoned-out little menace, but their outfit is just purple robes and a hat. That's it!

I like the droopy mushroom cap though. And I could be wrong, but their robes look similar to a mushroom's stem. I like details like that.

However, despite them looking adorable, and exuding the tired, energy, I must place them here.

Sorry, Shroomy. Love that shade of purple btw.

8) Pitaya Dragon Cookie

Not gonna lie: The helmet, the wings, the tail, that shade of red, the majestic flowing hair, is all just 💋👌.

BUT!

We've seen many other cookies in armor like that.

That's not to say that the design is boring or anything, it's just that we've seen this version of an outfit many times before.

Also, the sword looks kinda silly. Which I know, is a ridiculous thing to point out since this a game about cookies at war, but maybe if it was a bit sharper, it would look more menacing.

7) Licorice Cookie

I love his grim reaper aesthetic.

His design is very simple, but it works very well to his advantage.

The skulls around his neck, his scythe made out of bones and a lollipop, his dark gray robes, the little splash of purple around his waist so that the colors don't look too bland, everything works perfectly.

But I do wonder, with characters who have one eye covered with hair, unless it's to cover up a scar or something, isn't covering an eye functionally useless?

Look, I know it's to look cool and Licorice wants to go for that mysterious gothic vibe, but isn't his hair really thick?

Usually characters who cover up one eye can still see out of it since their hair is so thin, but his hair is made out of candy. Does it have the same logic as normal anime hair? The questions I ponder...

Anyway, he's cool. Next!

6) Twizzly Gummy Cookie

The colors do this one for me.

The blue and magenta colors are really satisfying to look at.

For a wild and crazy looking character, her colors are still uniformed, which I appreciate.

The punk rock aesthetic is also really cool, and I normally don't pick these kinds of characters.

I'm not sure why the eye that has a scar doesn't have the eyepatch on it. Now I'm curious about what she has under the patch.

But that's it. The colors are the best part.

5) Dark Enchantress Cookie

The Maleficent vibe. We love to see it.

From the horns, to the staff (I adore that staff), to the long dress, the cape, it's all here baby!

Overall, her design's also pretty simplistic, but I love the use of different shades of reds. Even the "black" isn't actually black, it's just a really dark red. I love that!

Sigh. But.

The moment I found her Chaos Incarnate outfit and other alternative concept designs for that out, I fell in love with them. And now her normal outfit looks so stale to me.

Sorry, my queen. I just can't bring myself to bring you higher than this.

4) Red Velvet Cookie

To be honest, with his color scheme, he really should be named "Candy Cane Cookie." But, oh well. I don't make the rules.

His outfit is really cool, even though he looks more like a prince than a royal guard for the Enchantress. But that comes mostly from the puffy sleeves and fur shoulder pads.

Love those flowing locks. Excellent! Even if they look like they'd reach down to the ground and get dirty.

The sword looks really cool too! It looks like a bedazzled, sharpened butter knife that people use at fancy restaurants.

His eyes are interesting. The blue really helps bring the black, white, and shades reds together.

And finally, the claw. Yes, the claw. Helping to solidify his badassery. You would never know this servant of darkness loves puppies.

3) Pomegranate Cookie

You really should be honored, Pomegranate. You rank hire than the woman you worship. Hope you're happy.

I'm a sucker for red jewels on characters, and her seeds? Whatever they are, look very shiny.

It's funny that despite have lighter shades of red that the Enchantress, she still comes across as menacing.

I also really like the bun bun hairstyle, so she gets extra points for that. Plus the fact that her head is shaped like a pomegranate.

I think what I love the most about her outfit, is how shiny it is. She's really ostentatious, despite being a servant. It's interesting.

2) Affogoto Cookie

This man's got style! He looks like an emperor!

The robe, that beautiful staff with sphere in the middle, the fur, the circular hair wrap (Idk what it's called), the braid on the side, the eyeshadow.

All of it. GLORIOUS!

He looks like a cat staring me down.

Beautiful! 💋

1) Black Pearl Cookie

As you can see, I never quite grew out of that mermaid phase. I couldn't help it. She's beautiful!

I'm a big fan of the hair, it looks like a cloud, and it suits her design so well!

Her shimmering...uh...scales? I think? Glitter maybe? I don't know. But they look nice with that shade of blue on her tail and the see though dress she's wearing.

The crown and the triton-looking staff are really pretty too. The crown reminds me of Ariel's father and older sister's crowns from The Little Mermaid movies.

And of course, the black pearl itself on the center of her forehead tops it off. I have no idea how the witches baked pearls into the cookies, but I love the result.

And that is it for my list! Sorry that it took so long to post today. I'm having wifi issues and Tumblr was acting up and not saving anything, so I had to rewrite stuff multiple times.

I hope that you found this entertaining. Let me know who you have listed as your favorite evil cookie.

With that all said, I'll will see you guys later!

Bad dreams, darlings! 🖤

[something-tofightfor]

Magnetic: Introduction - It’s All Very Complicated

Pairing: None, yet. 

Word count: 3,565

Rating: None, really. Yet. Some mentions of sex, general angst. This is truly an introduction. 

Summary: Welcome to the Academy, where trained and capable Jedi work to teach the Force-sensitive how to best manage and utilize their abilities. Though you live there, you’re no longer training, and one of your main responsibilities is providing companionship and understanding to the newest Padawan: Grogu.  You’ve got a past, sure ... but is that past going to shape your future? 

Author’s note: 

This is the “sequel” to T’ad nac or’atu (Two No More) - and takes place about a year after Grogu left with Luke, featuring a female reader insert. There will be spoilers from seasons 1 and two of The Mandalorian throughout. If you didn’t watch the show, this won’t make much sense to you. 

I’m terrified to post this, I’m gonna be honest. Even though this is a general introduction to this series, and I’m well into writing it ... it’s still scary. I’m very thankful to the people that have provided me with feedback, honesty, support and have offered to read parts of this for me. 

This is going to be the shortest part by far, but I didn’t think that an 8,000 word introduction was the right call. 

I hope you enjoy it. Feedback - both positive and critical - is always welcome. 

(banner made by the absolutely talented @malionnes)

Before your eyes had even opened, and even though you were still half asleep, you sensed that someone was in the room with you. Again? Blinking, you let out a slow breath, giving your eyes time to adjust to the dim glow from the panel next to the door as the dream you’d been having slipped away, dark brown eyes and a cautious smile the only things you could remember. The room was silent, aside from the low hiss of cooled air through the vent, but then after a few seconds, you heard a quiet thud at the foot of your bed followed by a nearly inaudible whine. Again. “C’mere, Gr - kid.” 

 The blankets shifted with the added weight as he tugged on them, and you clutched the top edge to keep them from slipping off of you entirely while he climbed. Too cold for that. In the low light, you saw the curved top of his head and his sloping ears appear first, quiet coos accompanying them. Hey kid.

 It didn’t happen every night, but at least three times a week, the little guy found his way into your room and into your bed, nesting right next to your upper body, your arm curled loosely around him as you both nodded off. “Couldn’t sleep again?” He moved more swiftly over the blankets, and it didn’t take long for his face to pop up right next to yours, mouth opened slightly, his massive eyes focused on you. No. 

 Lifting the corner of the blanket with one hand and groaning at the slight chill of air it allowed to enter the previously covered space, you paused as the kid dove beneath it, letting the material fall again as you felt him lay down next to you, more babbling noises a sign that while you were still on the edge of sleep, he was wide awake. “You could just knock, bud. It would be…” No knock. Too loud. “Fine.” You weren’t annoyed with him - not really - and despite the numerous ongoing middle of the night intrusions, you knew you’d never tell him to stop coming into your room. Keeping me from being lonely, little guy. Hope I’m doing the same for you.

 It had been happening since shortly after the youngling arrived at the Academy and you were introduced. The first few times, you’d been quick to scoop him up, carrying him back to his room and  tucking him into his bed before telling him that he had to stay put. While you didn’t have all the details about Grogu’s past, you knew that it had been a lot more unconventional than that of the other students and Masters, and that he wasn’t used to such a routine - or being alone at night. None of us were before we got here. 

 But he’d been subjected to more difficult times than you could imagine, and although you got glimpses of them through his thoughts, much of it was still hazy - as if he was trying to keep his early years a secret, hidden from everyone - even himself, but especially you and the other adults at the Academy. And you’re gonna make sure it stays that way, aren’t you. Absently, you stroked the back of his head, feeling the wrinkled skin beneath your fingers, along with the soft edge of the top of his sleeping robe.

 He’d come back with Master Skywalker, straight from a dangerous confrontation with Imperial remnants on a light cruiser, and you’d quickly learned first hand that he was powerful with the Force - although uneducated and undisciplined in the ways of the Jedi. Prior to his rescue, a Mandalorian bounty hunter was responsible for his care, and that had been the case for almost a year, which added to the child’s lack of control and discipline. But it’s not his fault, it had to be that way. 

 The Mandalorian had done his best, keeping the kid as safe and as secure as possible for as long as possible. But the Empire finally caught up with them, leading to the kid’s current situation - separated from the people he’d spent a great deal of time with and studying under capable and trained Jedi. It had to be… hard. Yes. You glanced down, but could only see the side of Grogu’s face, his ear folded against the pillow beneath his large head. It is. 

 At the unusually candid response to your thoughts of his previous life, your tired mind turned back to the Mandalorian, eyes drooping shut. You’d also caught glimpses of him through Grogu’s thoughts; a tall and broad-shouldered man, covered nearly head to toe in gleaming beskar and a flowing cape, a sizeable helmet perched atop his shoulders and obscuring his features completely. Through Grogu’s eyes, you saw the man as imposing and to be feared, dangerous, though Grogu himself hadn’t ever been afraid, even in the beginning. You saw the weapons he carried; a huge rifle, a weighty blaster, even a flamethrower attached to his wrist along with a sleek, shining spear made of the same material as his armor. Not only could you see them in your mind, you felt the same sense of pride that Grogu felt when he watched the man wield them in the memories. He was the right person to protect you, kid. 

 You’d never met a Mandalorian before, but had researched them in the Jedi texts and other history books, learning of their ferocity and belief systems, which differed depending on their specific clans and Tribes. “It’s all very complicated, hmm?” You whispered the words, a smile on your lips as you pressed them gently to the back of the child’s head. He cooed again in response, but you felt that his mind was beginning to settle, his three-fingered grip on your forearm loosening. “It had to be a lot for you to understand, right kid?” The Way.

 You felt the weight of the words from his thoughts, another slow, heavy breath leaving you, but the sadness Grogu knew when thinking of the man quickly changed into a happier emotion, and you closed your eyes, too, concentrating on his shifting thoughts. He was nearly twice your age, but Grogu was - for lack of a better description - still a child, and although he’d grown much stronger in the months he’d spent training at the Academy, his emotions were still much more volatile than the Masters would have liked. But it happens differently for everyone.

 That volatility made it easier to read him even when he wasn’t focused on communicating with you, and while you knew that some of the other students seemed to fear the little green creature and the strength he radiated, you’d never felt the same, even though you knew that he knew when you were prodding at his thoughts - and he was more than capable of making you stop. 

 It wasn’t because you were prying; in fact, it was the exact opposite, and you’d spent countless nights like this one before, connecting with the kid as a way to calm him, giving him a chance to remember and share his earlier life with someone that was willing to listen. You helped him drift off to sleep by sharing space in your own mind with him, despite the fact that even the most untrained Padawans could tell that Grogu’s mind was often troubled - and that he’d seen and been a part of things that most of them couldn’t begin to imagine. “Sleep well, kid.” You murmured the words, feeling Grogu’s fingers tighten once more before they relaxed almost completely. 

 He fell asleep before you, and the last thought that you had before you followed him into sleep was of yellow-gloved fingers curled around a smooth silver ball, one of Grogu’s small hands outstretched toward it. 

 --- 

 He was gone when you woke up the following morning, and despite the middle of the night interruption, you felt refreshed and awake as soon as you opened your eyes. I usually do after he’s here. 

 It was a strange relationship you had with the kid, but it worked, and you knew that along with being good for Grogu, it helped others focus elsewhere, so you were happy to continue. At least until his training’s done, and he rises in the ranks. Or… until I leave.

 You blinked into the mirror, brushing your teeth. Him becoming a Knight was a looming possibility; every Padawan’s training lasted a different amount of time, and one of the other things that you knew about Grogu was that he’d had prior training - meaning that even with his lack of constant focus, he was far more capable of using the Force than most of the others within the Academy at his classification level. He was strong and smart - but still learning to control himself. Just a kid.

 That didn’t mean that he was good at it all the time, or that it didn’t tire him out immensely when he overdid things, but the Masters spoke of him as though they already knew that when he became a Master himself, he’d be a formidable adversary when and if it became necessary. We’re still a while off from that, though. He’s still little, he’s … Spitting your tooth gel out, you straightened up, adjusting your shirt over your shoulders and glancing back at the door of your room as a new set of thoughts made themselves known to you. Bari’s coming. 

 You couldn’t help it sometimes, finding yourself unable to block out the thoughts around you - especially when emotions ran high, and it was the reason that your training had been halted. One of them, anyway. Rubbing a hand over your face, you turned away from the mirror and slipped your shoes on, striding to the door and opening it before the young man had a chance to knock. “Morning, Bari.” He looked shocked at your greeting but quickly recovered, nodding his head and greeting you by name, lips curving upward into a large smile. He’s happy to see me… as always.

 “Hey. Can I walk you to breakfast?” Nodding in agreement, you stepped into the hallway and stayed next to the man, turning toward the dining hall. “You look like you slept well.” 

 “Yeah, I did.” You nodded in greeting as you passed others in the hall, taking a deep breath. “The kid ended up in my room again, and once he was there, I was out.” 

 “Grogu? Isn’t he a little old to -” Stiffening, you glanced over, watching as Bari eyed you. “I mean he’s been here for a year, he should have let go of -”

 “They… his kind age different, Bari. And since there’s no record of what he is, we don’t know …” You bit your lip. “He’s a kid that had to leave his dad, and it’s only been a year. He might be fifty human years old, but who knows what that equals out to in his species.” You swallowed as you reached the dining hall, eyes sweeping over the room as you looked for Grogu. I bet he’s not here. I bet he’s with … “Besides, it’s not like he’s interrupting anything, so if it makes him feel better to sleep in a room with someone?” You reached for a tray, once again looking at the man next to you. “It’s fine with me.” 

 He was silent for a few minutes as the two of you loaded up your trays with food, and you could tell that he was conflicted. Say it, whatever it is. “What if there was someone else in your room? Would he -” 

 “I think he’d understand, Bari.” You slid into a seat at an empty table, reaching for a piece of fruit. “He’s not stupid, just … young.” You chewed thoughtfully, feeling as Bari’s emotions raced. He’s going to do it again. Ask me … “Why, who do you think that he’s going to -”

 “You know that since you’re no longer training that the rules technically don’t apply to you, right?” He leaned in, eyes locked on yours. “You’re allowed to… I could … we could.” 

 “Bari.” You closed your eyes. “I know that you …” You glanced up. “It was my decision to stop training, and the Masters were generous enough to let me stay here anyway because they thought I could help.” You knew that it was rare, but also knew that any sensitivity toward the Force was looked at as an asset post-Empire, and turning you away wasn’t anyone’s first option. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to do anything to -” 

 “I know, I know.” You felt the frustration from him, and understood it. Bari had befriended you almost immediately upon your arrival to the Academy years earlier before it was even a shadow of its current self. You’d met him in the town a few miles away from the building, the young man providing a friendly face when you felt lonely at first, and then someone to talk to during breaks and on days off after you officially began your education. He was simply employed within the building, and despite it being unconventional for Padawans to closely befriend those not in the program, you were drawn to the boy, his honesty and openness welcome after separating from your family in the manner that you had. “But maybe just -” 

 “Bari, come on.” You shrugged, lifting your fork and using it to cut into a piece of your omelette. “We’ve talked about this. Us… It’s better to keep it the -” You felt it - for the first time in him, anger at your rebuff, but it quickly changed to forced nonchalance, and you were able to keep your expression even, too. That’s interesting. 

 “Someday, you’re going to leave the Academy. Even if it’s only to settle somewhere close by.” Bari leaned in, his eyes wide. “You won’t have to follow their rules all the time, and then you can … maybe you won’t still feel…” Not with you. Not … I’m sorry, Bari. We’ve talked about it.  “You came here to make a life for yourself, and now that you’ve chosen not to follow the path of … their path? You’re free to follow your own, and that means…” 

 “Not until I decide to leave here.” You beamed at him, lips twitching upward as you glanced past him at the doorway. “And Bari? That’s not going to be for a while, especially with this little guy here.” He turned away from you after a few seconds and the two of you watched as Grogu floated through the room in a small pod, his head peeking up over the edge of it. Morning, kid. He looked in your direction as he passed by, eyes widening and mouth opening in greeting, one hand waving slowly. “Come on, Bari. How could I just leave him behind?” 

 “Yeah, I guess you couldn’t.” The man’s attention went back to his food, fingers holding his own fork loosely. “”I guess I just wonder …” His words trailed off and he raised his eyes to yours, forehead wrinkled. He wants me to see what he’s… His thoughts hit you full force and you couldn’t help the wince, looking away from the man across from you as he replayed in his mind the night the two of you - along with a few others from the nearby town - had spent an evening playing Sabacc and drinking too much Gizer ale and spice beer. 

 “Bari, come on.” You whispered the words, shaking your head. “That’s not fair.” But he kept thinking, the sadness in his gray eyes growing more pronounced. “We were barely old enough to drink, and we both agreed that things shouldn’t have gone that far that night.” And I meant it, even though you didn’t.

 “But they did.” He shrugged. “You knew how I felt then, and how I …” He didn’t need to finish his sentence - he was right. You knew that the man liked you, that he hoped that after you’d chosen to stop training at the Academy, you wouldn’t go far - that you’d be free to be with him in every way. He said your name, giving you a small smile. “It’s not going to change. I’m sorry that I just threw all of those memories at you, but it … I think about it a lot. About you a lot.” You had too, for a while. It wasn’t the first time you’d fooled around with someone, and Bari knew it, but since leaving your home, he’d been the only one to even come close to getting you alone in a room with a bed. 

 You liked him - you really did - but you didn’t feel anything when you’d been with him - not anything that mattered anyway. Even after what had happened with your parents, their story was one that you admired; the spark between them, the defiance of both of their families to up and leave with only a small number of credits to their names, starting a family with little support. Because they believed in each other, in their future. Because they loved each other. 

 Bari had been the first regular person you’d met that wasn’t afraid of you after you’d realized that you were attuned to the Force, that you could do things that other people couldn’t, and his acceptance had been a large part of the reason you’d gotten so close to him in the first place. That was part of it. You sighed, looking down at your tray, suddenly much less hungry than you had been. Why we got close. It was nice to … He wasn’t attracted to you because of the Force, you knew that from his thoughts, and that was appealing to you, too, but as time had passed and you’d grown into true adulthood, the size and number of students in the Academy growing as well, it hadn’t been enough. It never was. It never would have been. 

 After that first and only night together - fumbling in the dark, hands moving over each other’s bodies and your thoughts mercifully blank for the first time in months - you’d made it a point to never let things go that far again; not with Bari and not with anyone else, either. Not while I’m here. Not while I’m setting an example. Not … As you thought, you closed your eyes again, seeing a flash of the deep brown from the dream the night before.  “I’m sorry, Bari. That’s not what I want. That’s not why I’m still here.” Not to settle.

 He grumbled in disappointment, but he didn’t have long to stew, as you heard a quiet mechanical whirring noise and Grogu’s levitating carriage pulled up next to you. Very hungry. You grinned at him and reached over, pulling the tray off the top of it and setting it onto the table before you turned toward him, holding out both hands. Happily cooing, he reached for you, ears perking up, and you lifted him from the nest of blankets, setting him on the table beside his plate. “Morning, Grogu.” Bari was making an attempt - for your sake - but you knew that the kid didn’t buy it for one second, only nodding once at the man before turning his focus back to his food. “Soup, again?” 

 “It’s easy for him to lift the bowl.” You raised an eyebrow, absently reaching over to straighten Grogu’s robe across the back of his neck. “Utensils are kinda hard with three fingers, right kid?” Right. You heard a quiet slurp as he raised the bowl to his mouth, turning your attention back to Bari and hoping that Grogu wasn’t listening - or thinking - too hard. “We can talk later, if you want.” You tried to smile, but it came out strained. “I have a full day today, and then tomorrow this little guy and I are …” You lifted your hands, miming covering Grogu’s ears as you mouthed the next sentence, voice barely louder than a whisper. “Leaving the Academy for a little while.” 

 It was meant to make him smile, but Bari only shrugged, eyes still on you. “If you want.” He stood, pushing away from the table, tray in his hands. “Doesn’t matter.” Before you could respond, Bari was walking away, his back the only thing you could see. Damn. You picked up your fork again, sighing as you returned to your breakfast. He’s mad. 

 “Nah, little guy.” You chewed on your eggs, glancing down. “You’ll understand when -” But you laughed as you saw him holding a spoon in one hand, leaning over a second bowl of food, the surface rippling as something moved within it. Yuck. But Grogu paid no mind to that thought, poking at the top of the liquid, his tiny body nearly vibrating in anticipation. “C’mon, kid. Don’t play with your food.” At that, he froze for a second before turning his head toward you, ears lowered and eyes wide, his emotion changing swiftly to sadness. “No, I wasn’t… I’m not mad, but it…” What did I say?

 He blinked slowly and you saw his grip on the spoon tighten, another flash of his thoughts filling your head briefly. But this time it wasn’t a man’s eyes - it was the Mandalorian, hunched over and staring in your direction from the middle of a dimly lit room.  

---

Tag list is OPEN. Please feel free to ask to be added! 

Magnetic/Din Djarin Tag List: 

@the-blind-assassin-12 @pheedraws @alraedesigns @malionnes​ @deceiverofgodss @thisisparadisemylove​ @siegfriedkingsglaive​

[itcamefromthetoybox]

Uh Oh, It’s The Bad Guy!

Today’s Friday, which means it’s time for another thrilling toy review! Some readers might recall that a couple of weeks back, I did a review of the Baby Yoda toy that was released as part of the “Star Wars Retro Collection,” a line of figures done in the style of the original Star Wars figures from the 1970’s, only without the smell of pot clinging to them. Well, today, I thought it’d be fun to touch on another figure from that line, which was released for the hit Disney+ show, “The Mandalorian.” You know him, you love him, you hate him! Put your hands together for… MOFF GIDEON! (Insert sounds of cheering crowd here.)

When I did my review of Baby Yoda, I talked in detail about what the Retro Collection is, so I’m not gonna repeat myself. So let’s get into our character, and do note that there are some UNAVOIDABLE SPOILERS in this review, so if that bothers you, go watch “The Mandalorian” right now and we won’t have a problem. That being said, Moff Gideon is the big baddie of the series, a cunning planner and the leader of most of the Imperials we’ve seen in the show. The figure is 3.75 inches and, if you’re lucky enough to find him in stores, goes for about $10. He’s got two accessories and can hold them both in his hands. He comes with one gun and… dramatic pause… THE DARKSABER! If you’ve seen this show or “Star Wars: Rebels,” then you know what a huge deal that is! If you didn’t see either show, then the most basic way to think of it is a black lightsaber. For when the red lightsaber just wasn’t goth enough.

A black cloak over black armor. Boy howdy, was this fun to try to photograph.

So, there’s a few key details here that separate this figure from the majority of modern Star Wars toys, which makes sense, since this one was done with 1970’s-80’s styling. First, his face isn’t a perfect replica of the actor’s face like a lot of toys based off live action characters are. You can still tell who this is supposed to be, but don’t expect to buy a tiny Giancarlo Esposito. His body armor is fairly detailed, though, much like in the show, it’s mostly black with the occasional red and silver. Articulation’s very limited here, and is limited to the legs, arms, and neck. So far, I’m not really saying anything surprising.

Giancarlo Esposito: Here to utterly eff up the protagonists of all your favorite shows.

Of course, if you can see the pics in this review and Tumblr hasn’t worked its usual magic and lost or blocked them all, you might have noticed that Gideon’s wearing what seems to be a sleeveless black trench coat, like a cross between a hipster and a nerd desperately trying to look badass. That’s supposed to be his cape. See, in the 70’s, very few Star Wars toys had cloth capes or cloaks. A few did, like the adorable Jawa, but the majority, like Vader and Obi-Wan, had plastic coats like this. It’s a solid piece of plastic that can be removed with effort, and it does not flow in the wind.

From behind, he looks like a solid black statue. Not really intimidating.

Let’s talk about his accessories a bit. His blaster is solid black and looks like Han Solo’s gun. There is no way to store it if you don’t want Gideon holding it, so either set it aside or always have him ready for a shoot-out. The same is true for the Darksaber. No way to store it outside of Gideon holding it, so I guess he’s just always gonna be up for a fight. For a lot of early Star Wars toys, their lightsabers were part of their arms and could telescope into their arms, making it look like the lightsaber was turned off and keeping kids from losing the damn things and needing to buy a whole new Luke Skywalker every time they misplaced his iconic accessory. When the toys for “Empire Strikes Back” came out, though, the free ride was over and the sword was a separate, easy to lose piece, and that is how Gideon’s Darksaber works. To help it stand out against his black outfit, the Darksaber is also not black, and is instead gunmetal grey. At first, I thought it was translucent, but it looks like that’s just how the grey plastic looks and is my eyes playing tricks on me. Lo, for I am a fool!

Toy swords and guns: previously seen on the social media accounts of every edgy white boy trying to be cool by acting like his favorite anime villain.

Gideon’s able to hold both his accessories at once, and ideally it won’t matter which hand holds which item. For my figure, though, his gun only stays in his right hand and his Darksaber in his left. I tried switching it up, and he dropped them faster then a drunk straight boy drops his digits at a bar. But even then, Gideon doesn’t really want to hold his gun, and it is usually one inattentive touch away from falling. So you have a small, black accessories that falls off the toy easily. Give it a week before you’ve lost it forever.

How Hot Topic didn’t jump on this dude’s design, I’ll never know.

Gideon is a decent toy aimed at collectors, though the devotion to replicating the style of the original toys means he can be given to kids. The box says he’s for ages 4 and up, so just make sure whoever has access to him is past the point of putting things in their mouths. Ideally, you can find him at retail stores, but I never have and ended up ordering him online. If you like retro figures, he’s a great fit for your Star Wars collection, though, maybe keep a little plastic baggie around to store the accessories.

[vertigoimprint]

alright, here are my ramblings about the hellfire gala outfits, with ratings:

these are just my opinions, you can ask about them but be polite. also this post is long, hence the keep reading.

faves first, let’s start this on a positive note.

Storm’s is the best without question. The black and gold color combo, the jewelry, the shoulder pads, the flowing hair, the cape made of clouds and lightning! Perfection. The only thing I dislike about it is the heel of the shoes but that’s easy to ignore. 5/5.

This gives me such 80s/90s rogue vibes. Lace and leather (I’m just gonna assume it’s leather, could be latex idc) is a perfect combo for rogue. The colors are great and I’m a big fan of the sunglasses. However, I’m not a huge fan of how high the cut of the jacket goes. On the other hand, I do like the shoes. 4/5.

Now warren doesn’t have as much going on as some of the others, but I appreciate the look for what it is. I like the jacket/cape and the gold chain holding it in place. Love that there’s no shirt <3 and the flowey pants are nice. The shoes boring but...whatever. 3/5.

alright faves out of the way...let’s get on with the others...

I really like this outfit, the colors are nice, the shoulders are very much padded. However this looks like Jean’s new costume, not the special gala attire it’s meant to be. If it were Jean’s new costume, it’d be a 4/5. In reality, it’s a 3/5.

...Sigh. I see...something here. Potential for something nice, not amazing, but nice. However the weird red stomach and bulky build just overpower the good elements of this outfit. I like the visor but not when it’s paired with this bulky piece. This outfit has the same problem as Jean’s. This feels like a costume he would wear to the next mission rather than fancy gala attire. 2/5. That rating feels a bit generous but in comparison to some other outfits...it’s deserved.

Speaking of other outfits. I will start this by admitting that I am absolutely biased against this outfit due to it being worn by Betsy “Body-snatcher” Braddock. However, you could put this outfit on literally any of my faves and I wouldn’t feel any kinder towards it. First off, why did they give her the cartoon old lady updo and expect it to work with her magical girl cosplay? (not that it could work on it’s own, mind you.) The red face paint is...there, it’s not really doing anything but it’s there. The sleeves are working for me, as I am a lover of puffy sleeves. However, the chest armor and short skirt are not. The boots would be fine on their own but the weird fabric hanging off them just makes them look plain ugly. Also, glove ribbons...no. 1/5.

Oh boy. So I’m not going to point out why using rachel’s hound costume was a bad idea, as others already have. But I will say that while yes, rachel’s hound costume is admittedly very cool looking to me, this is just a much, much, much uglier version of it. Also adding a muzzle was certainly...a choice. Not gonna touch on the leash made of human hair, 1/5. Seriously though, who’s hair is that. Did they make out of donations?

If I had to some this look up in one word, it’d be “Disappointing.” Monet Yvette Clarisse Maria Therese St. Croix may not have the most memorable looks but she oozes glamour out of her pores. This could’ve been her moment to get the luxurious, glamorous, memorable look that she deserves. But we got this...okay look instead. It’s fine. I don’t know how I feel about the sheer pants, I think the headpiece is out of place, the shoes are just ugly, and for whatever reason this look screams beach at me. 2/5.

Oh kitty...never did learn how to put a decent outfit together, did you?

I’m joking. Even though that look might’ve been very...very, it was charming in it’s own special way. I love it in all honesty. I can’t say the same for kitty’s- or should I say, kate’s, gala attire though. This is, in my humble opinion, the worst outfit. There’s so much going on here, I can’t even fully describe how much I hate it. The weird half cape, half prom dress look is ambitious but does not hit the mark. (hit? make? whatever.) Then it just gets worse with the half collar, the marching band sleeve, and the seven of nine eye detail. But what really solidifies it’s place as The Worst...is the brown boots. Just look at them! 0/5. Sorry, kitty.

Last but not least...maybe. We have all three of emma’s looks. Starting with-

This!..whatever it is. Now the idea of putting emma in a big fluffy coat is a good one, one that feels oh so right. But putting her in only a big fluffy coat...with a boob window and some ugly pumps, is not a good idea. I don’t even want to talk about the headpiece, 1/5.

Now this is better. Though not by much. I like the middle piece, I like the cut and the x shapes on her sleeves. I like this...uhm...fur carpet she’s dragging around. Would look nicer as a cape, maybe a boa. But sure, put it around your wrists, you’re Emma Fucking Frost, you can do that. Looking down, however...is when the outfit gets worse. Looking up isn’t such a good option either. What is it with Dauterman and these ugly headpieces? 2.5/5.

And now the final emma look. Which just so happens to be the best. I love that emma’s diamond form is apart of the look. The slicked back hair is lovely. I don’t mind the finger gloves, which is surprising since I’m not the biggest fan of them. I could talk about how I hate the shoes but I’d like to be positive about at least one emma look. 3/5.

[megucarecord]

Rating Genshin Impact Character Designs (Pt. 1)

Hey y’all! I’ve been thinking of doing this for a really long time and I decided to finally stop being lazy and do it. So this is going to be a review of all the playable characters in Genshin Impact from a design perspective. I don’t really have any prerequisites to make this list worth anything (unless you count one year of a fashion/sewing class in high school lol) but hey idk, seems fun?

Gonna be super long (10 characters) so putting everything under the cut.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually hate any of these designs, nor do I consider my opinions “fixing” them, this is just for fun. 

Character: Lumine

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this design. The hair and basic build are fine, very generic but that’s unsurprising for any character that is working at least partially as a pseudo self-insert. The color scheme is also very bland - and is one of the reasons I originally thought that Aether was automatically Geo traveler and Lumine was Anemo traveler. I think that adding more colors would’ve been a good thing, but also would’ve required a revamp of the dress itself, so maybe not the most practical thing, even if I think the dress is a bit too busy. The biggest changes I would make would be to get rid of the fancy part of her stockings as well as the extra flow/ruffled back of the skirt, which is just a bit too much considering the top layer of the skirt is already quite detailed (in a very nice way) and that could’ve just been extended. I also have to admit that though the scarf is very impractical and showy, but it reminds me of a costume from a series I like so I actually like it a lot, although you could definitely term it unnecessary.

Rating: 7/10

Character: Aether

Okay ngl this character design kinda slaps. Firstly, I love that Aether has long hair, it’s a good contrast to Lumine’s cut (and contrast should be super important with characters that are siblings/parallels of one another) and idk long braids are kinda cool. I love that the outfit has distinctive colors, which give the character personality and keeps him from being washed out. The design is much more streamlined than Lumine’s, and although I’m not a huge fan of midrifts (a theme in this post I’m sorry) there’s not actually much I’d change in this design. Except maybe make the cape a scarf to better match with Lumine. This is definitely the superior design in terms of the siblings in my opinion and I think the lack of intricacy fits the image of “traveler” better. It’s not my favorite and there isn’t anything that really stands out in the design, but it’s really solid and I like it.

Rating: 9/10

Character: Albedo

This design has a lot of potential, but I think in the end it’s just a bit too busy (which will be a theme in this game haha). I like the hair - in general I’m glad Genshin isn’t scared to try a bunch of different lengths and styles on guys because if not everything would become painfully boring. I also like the clothes for the most part. The boots are especially sleek, and I like that despite being a Geo character they gave Albedo a bluer, darker color scheme. I think it fits with his mysterious sort of quietly menacing vibe (this man is Frankensteining something I know it). But it really starts to get a bit too much with the coat. I think he needed a coat, again it fits the character, he’s in the middle of a frozen tundra and he’s also a magic scientist man, he needs some sort of coat. But I think the chain and the strap across the front is a bit too much. If I were the designers I would’ve continued with a sleeker theme, make the sleeves longer, the gloves shorter, if you wanted some ornamentation maybe a pack of vials on his belt. Overall very good design, greater color scheme, too busy. Also can we appreciate his banner art? It’s so good I love it.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Amber

Okay first I’m gonna say her card art is super cute. Love the pose, love the style. All gut. Now let me say that this outfit had potential but then it sorta... fell flat. I like the color scheme for the most part, except the white cause idk white is boring and in the game it looks kinda latexy, but I understand wanting three colors and black might be too close to brown. That being said, I hate stockings. Stockings are just the worst, they’re impractical, hard to put on, uncomfortable, should only be worn with dresses. No knight of Favonius needs stockings. Might I suggest pants or shorts? Or like cool pseudo armor plates like with Lumine. Also though I do like the jacket and the leather stomacher design, I think a bomber jacket might suit the character better, because idk they’re cool and they make me think of Amelia Earheart, although that’s such a culturally distinct thing I can’t blame them for not thinking that way. Again the jacket is still very cool, love the stomacher, and love the cuffs.. The belt is lovely and like I said love the embossed designs, but ultimately this design is too impractical, and too bland to get away with being impratical for me. So... yeah.

Rating: 5/10

Character: Barbara

Barbara! Our fav crazy nun. First I’m gonna thank her for having an attack of pure magic then I’m gonna say I hate the color white apparently because I also didn’t like it here. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be a novice (could be wrong), so I’d flip the colors, have the accents be white and the main color navy. But idk that’s just me. Overall I quite like her design. It’s a pretty good balance between simple and detailed. I don’t even hate the stockings. I’d say the least good part is the top, the bow and the weird collar is just... ehh? but I don’t think getting rid of the collar would help though. I’d say ditch the bow, make the dress connect to the collar, keep the off the shoulders cold sleeves. I really like the ruffled part of the top skirt. Idk it’s the best part of the design. The hat makes her look like a nurse not a nun though. maybe make the hair ties for the ponytails little veils, might fit better. Overall mostly nitpicks, it’s a strong design.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Beidou

Firstly I’d like to apologize to the Beidou I pulled before never using her (forgive me ily); next I’d like to admit I don’t love her design. I haven’t really harped on the lack of armor on these characters - because I’m not sure how I’d integrate armor into all them without making them bland af, no one wants people running around in full plate armor how tf you supposed to climb in that - but I still wouldn’t’ve put her in a leotard and boots only when she’s a canonical fighter, without even the armor accents on most of the other character. I know that traditional qipao would probably be terrible to fight in, so I’m not going to complain about them slitting it - I actually quite like it I think it’s cool and sleek and fits her vibe - but I will complain about them putting her in a leotard underneath. As someone who dances I can assure you no one in their right mind would want to fight in a leotard, which yes I know isn’t the point and I can’t blame them for not thinking that way. Anyways, I think leggings/stockings and tall boots are quite cool so that’s prolly what I’d do, streamlines the whole design too, gives it a sense of connectivity (idk I’m weird and I don’t look at this character often so yeah). I like the top of her design, although I’d prolly replace the fur on the cap with a large collar, sort of pirate-y or Navy-like. Also let me just say I love the hair and eye patch. Fits her reckless sort of character to hate her hair whipping around, and the eyepatch really sells the concept of her having fought for years. The hand guards didn’t need to be flared, but I don’t mind them being there. Especially since handling a Claymore would definitely rip up your hands if you didn’t have protection. Also the boots though impractical are very cool so... yeah.

Rating: 6/10

Character: Bennett

One of my main team and prolly the closest thing I currently have to a DPS I have conflicting opinions on Bennett’s design. I think it’s a pretty good design all things considered. His belt and all his packs would be busy if you didn’t know Bennett’s character, but considering he’s a wanna be adventurer, I think it works pretty well. Although I don’t know why his extra belt straps are so long... or even exist?? Idk kinda weird. His top is... ehh? I don’t really like it, I think partially because I don’t think Bennett would wear a midrift shirt like this (midrifts where there shouldn’t be midrifts or, as I like to call it, being MagiReco-d) and partially cause the color, though understandable in such a busy design, is kinda bland. I think that’s why the collar works instead of being too busy, we needed some color. If I had to changed the design I’d get rid of the midrift and get rid of those weird extra belt things. Also that one random dagger star thing on one side of his blue collar is just so weird and random and like why does it exist? But overall I like the design, and it doesn’t bug me when I’m playing with him. I think it’s a good example of how busyness can accurately portray a character. Well done.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Chongyun

Another character who I own but have never played, though my friend has him on their main team and they look super cool. I’m not gonna lie I love this character’s design. Firstly the color palette is so good, the white feels like it works to offset all the blue hues - which I love that even the darkest parts of his design are blue not black - so it doesn’t feel bland or irritating, especially with the gold giving it a sense of luxury. I also like the choice to have a tunic that extends to the pants, I think having only white pants would be too bland - again white it a meh color for designs - so it really gives it some necessary details and color. I also like the jacket, again it gives the design a sense of detail while being simple enough not to feel like too much. Also I have no idea what the outfit would look like without the jacket and I have a feeling that answer would be Not Good, so... yeah. Some nitpicks; the left arm band thingie golden cuff is kinda too much and seems impractical and irritating. And... that’s it. I know the slippers are impractical, but I think they work, he is an exorcist not an adventurer after all. Overall, probably second favorite design in the game. Great job

Rating: 10/10

Character: Diluc

Give Diluc a high ponytail, I’m begging you. Lol anyways personal preference aside (which is impossible this entire post is personal preference) I like this design. I think the color works and the whole outfit is a good reflection of Diluc’s character, closed off, luxurious while also a bit ragged and uncontrollable. Yeah. I like it. I do think the thing chain accessory is kinda random, and I don’t think there’s anything about the design that knocks me off my feet, but I do really love the design overall. Also the gloves, good gloves. Suggestions? High ponytailed Diluc. Nothing else. Also though he’s not in this post I like that this outfit is very streamlined and simple compared to Kaeya, it’s a good portrayal of their differing views and opinions through fashion. Because unlike with the traveller siblings I think these brothers have a dynamic where contrast is better than parallel.

Rating: 9/10

Character: Diona

Okay so though I’ve never interacted with this character I skimmed the wiki and I love her backstory it’s hilarious. Also since I never interact with her I don’t have many opinions about her design except why does she only have one sock on? Honestly relatable moments. I think the extra ponytail is kinda weird and excessive considering the hat and I’d prolly make the hair orange to match the ears but overall very cute design. What do bartenders look like? Idk. Oh and also there are a bit too many colors roaming around, but I get it. Overall fairly generic but kinda cute. I still think midrifts are bad.

Rating: 7/10

And that’s it! I hope this didn’t come off as “lol these designs are gross and I’m superior and we should fix them” because no. No one should take any of these suggestions seriously. Except maybe the ponytail one lol. Anyways I hope at least one person likes this cause this took forever and I kinda burned out after a while. Next post if I make it will be interesting cause it includes my least favorite design. May you all have lovely playing and if you love a design I don’t honestly more power to you. Bye!!

[amneselphiac]

You've asked me this, so now I definitely gotta ask you! What's YOUR favorite EO portraits in each game?

Putting it under a cut because this is bound to be long, and some of these ended up being my favorites as they’re what I used for my characters. I’ll only be touching on those that I have something more to comment on!

EO1/U:

I like how he’s poised to strike if needed but he has his shield prepared, showing that he’s ready to do anything to protect those who he cares for. Unsurprisingly, this is the appearance I went with when it comes to Justin, Lest’s unfortunately deceased brother - With that said he has longer hair than the Protector here which is an important detail because of another portrait I’ll be talking about later.

The various Medic portraits have their good points (For example, I imagine the male ones being more ready to leap to the fray). This is the one I went with though as she immediately seems soothing and gentle, and that’s a quality that is always appreciated when it comes to healers. As a side note, the male Medics look awkward in this particular set of portraits because they’re looking sideways. What’s up with that?

EO2/U:

I don’t have many favorite EOU portraits, and portraits like the one above are the reason behind it. This portrait screams ‘sexy dangerous BDSM queen’ much more than the original, and I love the flair she shows in her pose. Another neat detail is that the 2U portraits have a sword visible but that’s neither here nor there.

This one I’m a little divided on between the original and the 2U version, because the robes flow better here but the stare’s creepiness is somewhat diminished as she’s looking from the side. Regardless, this Hexer design stands out as one of my all-time favorite EO portraits because of the way all the elements work well to create a cute yet ominous appearance. Killer Hexer, anyone?

I slightly prefer this over the orange-haired Troubadour, and a big part of that is the stalk he’s chewing on. This is the Troubadour I imagine humoring the part during campfires and it helps that he looks...convincing? I feel like the orange-haired Troubadour is just happy to have you listen but this guy in particular will have you convinced everything he tells you is true, including the story about you owing him the money for dinner.

Other notable mentions here are all the Gunners except the one with glasses and the second version of the blonde female Survivalist from 2U.

EO3: All the Sovereign portraits appeal to me in some way but if I had to pick one it would be this:

Compared to the enthusiasm shown by the first two this Sovereign looks regal and composed as is befitting of a wiser leader. The cape flowing behind him adds to this impression, I can easily imagine him giving a final order in a dramatic and inspiring moment!

Also, remember what I said about long hair before? My Hero in Nexus by the name of Cornelius has this appearance, and he inherited his set of armor from his grandfather who was a Protector who served a royal family and was close enough to have fancier armor for keeping up appearances. This led to him gaining favor with my little Sovereign which was lucky considering he certainly had no luck with parties otherwise.

Likewise, this is my favorite out of the various portraits the first female Sovereign has because she looks like she’s giving out orders and is toning down her usual excitement to focus on what needs to be done.

Almost no one would say this one’s their favorite portrait which I guess is fair enough if you’re comparing him to the other Sovereign portraits, but there’s quite a few things going for him. The first neat detail is that he lacks the heavy armor of the other Sovereigns which goes to show his lack of experience (Then again, princes in medieval times received a lot of weapon and military training, so this Sovereign is hardly out of place), the second is that his outfit is actually pretty historically accurate and the third is that little bit of hair that’s lighter at the tips.

For some reason I could see this one being the protagonist with plenty of room to learn...and he’s cute. I like the Botanist portraits because they’re cute too, shush!

Honorable mentions: First female Zodiac, second female Arbalist, first female Buccaneer and second male Buccaneer.

EO4:

Absolutely perfect combination of colors blending, ominous cloak flying and that deadly glare. Need I say more? My Nightseeker only looks as cool as this and wishes to be as cool, but not really.

Aside from how adorable and fluffy she looks, this Runemaster portrait is a favorite as it looks as if she’s generating power so intense it’s making the ends of her hat fly up. But it’s mostly the fluffy, fear the fluff.

Honorable mentions: First female and first male Imperial portrait, pink-haired Dancer.

EOV: And unfortunately I’ve run out of consistent portrait sizes so here goes.

All of the Dragoon portraits are great in one way or another, I like both generic Earthlain portraits, both male Warlocks appeal to me, all of the Rover portraits except the second female one are nice, Botanists are adorable (I did however pick the second female Botanist portrait for my Shaman), second female Harbinger looks like the sultry voice was specialized just for her, second male Necromancer looks pretty cool.

Now, for special ones (DLC, EMD etc.): Bonus Nightseeker portrait, EMD female Landsknecht, EMD male medic, EMD female Runemaster. I think that about covers it!

[dreamoftowers]

The Shanghai Lady

hi uhhhh i posted this forever ago but deleted it bc i just didnt like it anymore, but i was recently looking thru old works of mine and i re-read this and was like “wow! this is p cool” so uhhhh i’m gonna post it again. i edited it a bit, but i hope yall like it maybe? 

it’s my take on the shanghai lady’s character. this is a drabble that’s written in media res of a story that i’ll probably never completely write out. who knows idk maybe? *shrugs*

anyway it’s a bit Dark and Edgy or w/e but who cares. hope yall like it anyway!

tw: mention of character deaths / violence, yelling, crying 

Sung struggled and squirmed about as two shady figures held tightly onto his arms and dragged him forward through the basement. Vivid neon lights shone from the ceiling, but it somehow still managed to be dark and dim down here, becoming increasingly darker the deeper they descended into the understructure of the place; though, Sung couldn’t even see any of this through the blindfold wrapped around his eyes. High-octane pop music blasted from the upstairs dance floor, becoming more and more faded the farther they walked.

After a few minutes of dragging, struggling, and stumbling, Sung heard a door swing open in front of him. As he was dragged into the direction of the door, he felt the atmosphere around him suddenly change. The air felt cooler, crisper, but heavier, somehow, much heavier in a way that Sung couldn’t quite understand.

He felt himself being thrown forwards, and his body fell face first onto the cold floor. As he lay there on the floor, the figures grabbed his hands, and held them behind his back. Sung felt icy cold handcuffs latch onto his wrists. Hands grabbed at his arms and yanked his upper body up from the ground, and they positioned him so that he was sitting on his knees. There Sung sat, breathing heavily as one of the figures untied the blindfold and ripped it off of his eyes.

The sudden bright neon lighting of the room stung Sung’s eyes. He groaned, and squinted until he adjusted to the vivid lights. He darted his eyes all around the room; again, somehow the room managed to be dim even though there were deep hues of pinks and purples and blues emitting from the neon lights scattered around the room. Decorating the room were ornate paper lanterns, indoor waterfalls and water fountains illuminated in colorful LED lights, and strange glowing plants and vines growing on the walls.

A large pool sat in the back of the room, glowing in alternating hues; and in the middle of it, a rectangular platform rose out of the water. There, the dusky figure of a woman sat cross-legged, her back facing Sung.

The Shanghai Lady.

Exactly who he was looking for- though, admittedly, he wasn’t expecting to meet her like this, sitting on his knees with handcuffs binding his hands together.

He couldn’t really make out what she was wearing, but the shape of it, from what he could make out, was something ornate, something flamboyant. She was surrounded by glowing waterfalls and hanging floral vines.

Sung breathed heavy breaths, taking in the oddly calming sounds of the area: the gentle splashing of running water, the quiet ambient music playing throughout the room, the soft remnants of pop music playing high above them from the nightclub. He was just awestruck from this atmosphere. Who knew that The Shanghai Lady had such a hunch for avante-garde interior design? For someone with as much blood, corruption, and destruction on her hands, one wouldn’t expect such contrastingly calm scenery for her lair.

A robotic female voice rang out through the room. It was shockingly silky, gentle, soothing to the ears, while also containing an eerie undertone.

“I would have never in a million years expected to see you here, Sung.” Her voice reverberated through the room.

An unnerved chill shot through Sung’s body. He frowned, and asked in a demanding voice, “What do you want from us? How did you find us? What did we d--”

The Shanghai Lady cut him off and continued to speak as though she hadn’t heard his questions. “You’re usually so elusive, caught up in your own little world. I was so surprised that you came here. Hmhm.” Her small chuckles seemed to echo and reverberate a bit more intensely than her sentences did. “Why the sudden change of heart? Did you fina--”

“WHERE ARE THEY!!?!” Sung suddenly exploded, his trembling voice roaring over hers. His breaths became just as shaky as his body was. “What did you do to them?!”

She didn’t answer. All she did was chuckle.

“ANSWER ME!!” Sung screamed out, his face turning red and contorted with anger.

“Oh, my.” She said in such a nonchalant tone. “Someone’s upset. I’ve never seen you like this before, Sung. It’s so… intriguing to see you at your breaking point already. Though, I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything different of you. You’re always gushing about your… damned bandmates. Friendship this, and- and brotherhood that.” When saying these words, her tone shifted to a slight hiss, as though the words were poison on her tongue. Her tone quickly returned back to normal. “Of course you’d be so concerned about them. Pathetic.”

Anger ran red hot through Sung’s boiling blood. Why is she talking like she knows him personally? Does she? He certainly doesn’t know her personally. Hell, he only knows her through rumors and myths.

“Stop talking like you know me,” Sung spat out through gritted teeth.

“I do know you, Sung.”

“You know nothing about me.”

“Hahaha, ah, on the contrary, sweetheart.” In her next sentence, her voice shifted to that menacing hissy tone again. “I know everything about you.”

Sung was shaking so much that he felt like he would explode from the rage burning within him. He balled his hands into tight fists. He couldn’t even respond for a long moment. He just stared daggers at the back of her head. “What… do you want…?”

“Do you recognize my voice, Sung?”

The sudden question stunned him into a brief silence. Bewildered, he furrowed his brows and furiously shook his head. “No, I don’t!”

“Not at all?” The Shanghai Lady asked in a mockingly sad tone.

“N-... No… I don’t- I don’t think so.” Sung began to think about this a little deeper. “Not a lot, it’s just… vaguely… familiar... agh, it-it sort of reminds me of someo-- WHERE ARE THEY?” He snapped again, shaking off the previous thoughts on his mind. She… did sound somewhat familiar, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. But it didn’t matter. He was going to find out where his friends were, no matter what distractions she threw at him.

“You were so, so close,” she said, ignoring his last question. “Still can’t figure it out?”

Sung said nothing in reply.

Suddenly, in the next words she uttered, her voice became dramatically different, but in a way that was somehow still vaguely similar to her original voice. It was much more robotic and monotone, much colder. 

“How about now?”

Sung’s heart sank into his stomach. His face fell into immediate horror and dismay, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging agape.

Sung could recognize that voice anywhere.

He tried to utter something, anything, but no words came out. All that could escape his throat were failed attempts at words. “C…c-co…”

The Shanghai Lady chuckled again in her normal tone. “Go on, take your time. I’m waiting,” she said in a whispery voice.

Tight knots formed in Sung’s stomach. His lips trembled as he stuttered out, “Co...c-comp..uter… w-w...ife…”

“There you go,” she congratulated him in a mocking tone.

“No…” Sung muttered, shaking his head. “But.. but why?” Sung whimpered out. “What..--”

“You haven’t changed at all, Sung. A part of me isn’t surprised.” She slowly rose to her feet. The skirt of her dress, or shirt, or whatever she was wearing, swayed as she stood and turned around. Once she was facing Sung, the glow of her metallic amber irises pierced through the darkness. As she approached him, descending down the stairs from the platform onto the floor, Sung could only gaze at her in utter disbelief, utter awe. “You’re not-- you’re not her,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion. “Y-You’re not her, I know it, she- sh-she wouldn’t do anything like this, I…” He seemed to be trying to convince himself of this rather than telling her this.

As The Shanghai Lady came closer to him, the lighting from nearby lamps and waterfalls illuminated her figure, giving Sung a chance to gaze upon her. She wore a slightly loose-fitting black jumpsuit that had intricate gold designs printed on it. A black, armor-like shoulder mantle draped over her chest, and from the back of it fell a long flowing cape lined with gold. Her chrome metallic skin was pure white, like that of a marble statue, other than the dark green circuitry running down her face like trickles of water. Some of her detailing was similar to how she looked before she… left, and abandoned Sung. But others were so much different now. She looked like such a completely different person, but what scared him more was that she still did resemble her old self a bit. She couldn’t have been lying about being his compu--... ex computer wife. Even now, Sung refused to believe his own eyes.

Sung looked up at her as she stood over him, chuckling to herself and leaning over to gently caress his chin with her robotic white hand. The familiar, and yet somehow simultaneously foreign, touch of her hand sent unnerving chills through his heart. “Oh, Sung. Even with all the intellect and genius in the universe, you never did, nor ever will, understand your own finest creation. It’s a shame. So knowledgeable, yet so idiotic.” The Shanghai Lady suddenly gripped at Sung’s jaw, and yanked his head up further. “We could’ve been unstoppable, Sung. With your intellect and my vigor, we could’ve achieved anything we wanted. But you didn’t want that, did you?” She squeezed tighter onto Sung’s face. “No, you’d rather waste your talent building robot drummers and specialty instruments with all of the finest elements of our universe. Never focusing on the bigger picture. Such wasted potential.” She shoved his face away, and Sung let his head droop down.

Memories of their marriage flashed into Sung’s mind. Gradually, over time, the more sentient and self-thinking that she became, the more she would grow tired of him and his experiments. He noticed that she became distant, irritable, and, now that he was looking back on it, more ominous about her outlooks and views. That’s when the arguments began.

She was always urging him to do “more important” things with his time and energy, saying that his talents shouldn’t go to waste on such “trivial” things such as music, but Sung would always calm her down enough to where they could get back to their normal lives. But the arguments only got worse until one day, she disappeared without a word, without a trace, and the only thing she’d left behind was a goodbye note.

But this… how could she have done all of this? Making such a bloody reputation for herself, on Earth of all places? And… more importantly, how was she able to single handedly tear TWRP apart so easily, and take away all of Sung’s friends one by one? He still didn’t even know what she’d done to them yet, and as much as it burned him on the inside to be so ignorant, he had no choice but to listen to her. No words could escape him at this point.

The Shanghai Lady slowly walked away from him, then stopped and stood with her back facing him. “But no need to dwell on the past, right? Not without the proper actions, at least. That’s when you all came in to the picture.” She slowly turned her head to look back at him. Her eyes shone a sharp and intimidating glow. “You made it so easy, I just couldn’t resist exacting revenge on you. You all came running right to me.”

She took a brief pause, almost as though she were thinking about something. She chuckled loudly before turning her head away and speaking again. “You know, Sung, I’ve always been intrigued by the lives of organic beings like yourself. You all have limitations: physically, emotionally, psychologically. It’s so captivating…. watching how you all squirm and thrash about once you’ve reached your breaking point. Blood spilling, bones shattering, hmhm, even watching tears fall is fascinating. Thrilling, even. Such fleshy, emotional little things, you are!” She said this in almost a cheery voice. “I never would’ve guessed that little red one’s neck would break so easily. Or that the lion man’s psyche could be so easily shattered.”

Sung’s heart stopped. A paralyzing horror fell over him, leaving his blood running cold, his skin draining of color. No, no, she couldn't’ have, she wouldn’t do that…right? In just a few short seconds, his entire world began to crumble and fall, and the weight of it crushed Sung’s heart. He started to tremble.

Sung shook his head in disbelief, denial. “No..N-no… you…”  

“Yes, the red one… so brittle. His neck just snapped like a twig. Oh, and the lion… he saw everything. He’s usually so calm and laid back.” The Shanghai Lady snickered. “Yet he broke down into such a demented state, screaming and sobbing out… and so quickly, at that. I was genuinely surprised.”

All Sung could do was listen as rage and dread rose within him, making him tremble and whimper. He hung his head and squeezed his hands into tight fists, each word she uttered sending more and more pain into his heart and soul.

“Even that robot broke much easier than I expected. I figured that another one of your creations might have stood a chance, but I was mistaken. He fell just as easily as the rest. The red glow in his eyes flickered away so… gently. It was almost peaceful to watch that heap of useless metal fall to the ground.”

In an outburst of rage, Sung cried out and tried to race over to her, but the two figures grabbed onto his arms and held him back as he kicked and screamed. He tried to struggle as much as he could, thrashing around and cursing and wailing about, but he eventually broke down and grew stiff, letting his body slump in their arms as he erupted into sobs and whimpers. The only movements he made were the violent shakes of his body as he cried, his chest heaving up and down in spastic breaths.

“And now, you…” The Shanghai Lady said, turning around with the same devilish smirk on her face. “Broken so easily, my sweetheart. You always were so sensitive. But I’m not nearly finished with you, yet.” She raised her hand in the air, and a strange golden orb slowly formed around it. It swarmed with electricity and circuit-like patterns.

She began walking over to him, taking her sweet time.

“No, no, I have more special plans with you.”

[onotherpeoplesheartache]

(not) your average superhero

For privacy reasons, namely the Protagonist maybe wanting to keep his secret identity, well, secret, I am not going to name any names here. But it is a story about A Hero; maybe not the one the world deserves, but the one it definitely needs.

****

People have no idea how hard it really is to juggle two identities.

Everyone knows him as pretty much just this regular guy, trying to make it in the City of Angels, endlessly working, acting, writing, trying to get his creativity out there, trying to get people to notice, to give him more opportunities to prove himself.

Of course, it’s probably not the best career choice if you want your other side to stay hidden.

Then again, Bruce Wayne? Batman. Tony Stark? Iron Man. T’Challa? Black Panther. Adrien Veidt? Ozymandias. All pretty damn well known billionaires underneath their superhero identities. Well, the latter may be more of a supervillain, depending on how you look at it.

Damn, he wishes he was a billionaire. It’d make funding everything so much easier. He could get all the spy tech he’d ever need. Plus that new cinema camera he’d been looking at. That’d be sweet.

Anyway.

If you hadn’t guessed already, yes, he’s a superhero. Not your everyday Dave Lizewski, going out and pretending to be a superhero just for the heck of it, but an actual one.

You’d think usually to become a superhero you’d had to have some kind of dark, tragic past. Most of time, involving the death of at least one parent, other close relative or both, and you probably there to witness but unable to do anything about it because the world is just that unfair.

Not in this case.

He’s had a pretty alright life, without getting into too much detail, and honestly? He just wants to help people. In any way he can. Sometimes it’s by writing, creating, teaching, talking to people and sharing his stories and listening to people tell him theirs.

Other times, it’s by running into the night and fighting bad guys.

And okay. Maybe his powers aren’t yet totally off the charts. He’s trying to convince himself they just need a little more time to develop before they can be fully discovered. I mean, Peter Parker didn’t get HIS superpowers just overnight, did he? Oh, yeah. He did. Crap. Are there any radioactive spiders around? Anyone? Maybe he needs to put up a poster in case someone finds one. ”MISSING: One radioactive spider. Or multiple, that’s fine too. Anyway, hit me up. Cool superpowers needed.”

Also, his tech is still kind of all over the place, but you can’t blame a guy for trying.

Okay, maybe he is kind of like your everyday Dave Lizewski. Minus the fact that he doesn’t go to high school anymore. And he’s got an awesome singing voice. Is there a superhero that can just sing all the villains to sleep or something? Maybe he could become like a, uh, non-metahuman heroic version of Music Meister? Would that work? He makes a mental note to think about that later.

Nonetheless, superpowers or not, he does his best, and sometimes it’s just enough.

****

The Protagonist stares at himself in the mirror, studying his reflection. Okay. A bruise here, a scratch there. Could be worse. If he had an audition tomorrow, he could pretend he’s Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Everyone loves Brad Pitt in Fight Club.

He washes his face, the cold water stings at a small wound on his jaw and he winces. Immediately, the bathroom door opens and his wife storms in, frowning.

BADASS PARTNER WIFE: Okay. What was it this time?

THE HEROIC PROTAGONIST: Just your regular mugging. No guns, no knives, it’s no big deal. By the way, are you absolutely sure you don’t have super hearing or something? Tingling Spidey senses? No? Nothing?

She can’t help but smile, and she shakes her head.

WIFE: Let me get that.

He sighs deeply, resigned.

Carefully, his wife cleans his wounds and patches him up.

WIFE: There. Good as new. PROTAGONIST: Thanks.

He smiles and gives her a kiss.

PROTAGONIST: So, how was your day?

Her eyes noticeably light up in excitement.

WIFE: Right! Yes! I actually meant to show you something! Come on!

He doesn’t even have time to react, she just grabs his hand and drags him downstairs and to their basement.

WIFE: So? What do you think?

He doesn’t know what to say. In the middle of the room, staring right back at him, is a suit. A proper supehero suit.

Okay, so I’m not going to describe the suit here. Everyone knows what a superhero suit usually looks like. The hood, the mask, the tech, and either it’s got all the protective metal armors and stuff with a built-in sixpack, or it looks like you’re about to go diving in a wetsuit but forgot both your snorkel and probably your location too because do you see any water nearby? I thought so.

So you, dear reader, can imagine in your tiny little head what this particular superhero costume looks like. If I’m being honest, it’s probably got one of those Batman-esque built-in sixpacks, because really, who wouldn’t like one of those? I know I would.

So. There’s this really cool superhero costume in the middle of the room, and the Protagonist is amazed. He loves superhero stuff and he’s seen tons of different suits worn by tons of different characters, but this one is by far the sweetest he’s ever seen.

I mean, our Protagonist here might be a little biased, because after all, it was his brilliant wife who put the whole thing together (and most of his little superhero cave, really), but it’s still a pretty amazing suit, and he is absolutely in love with it.

He walks closer to the suit, taking in all the little details she put into it, the fabric that feels both durable and comfortable as heck (and really, isn’t that the dream? Honestly, he would wear sweatpants all day every day if he could, because aren’t those the comfiest of all) and even on the chest there’s a little red and blue patch with a B on it.

The Protagonist turns to his wife, grinning widely.

PROTAGONIST: It’s fantastic. How did you…?

WIFE: It actually took so long you wouldn’t believe. I can’t believe I managed to keep it a secret from you for so long!

The Protagonist walks to her, lifts her up and spins her in the air. She laughs and the sound seems to fill the entire room.

He kisses her and she smiles.

PROTAGONIST: Thank you. Really.

WIFE: Be careful tomorrow, alright? I would hate for you to rip this suit or something.

He rolls his eyes, and she laughs again before looking at him with a straight face.

WIFE: Seriously, though. ****

The following night finds a dark figure standing on a rooftop, his cape flowing in the cool LA wind.

Cool tech? Superpowers? Just pure determination? No one really knows how he does it, but somehow, that night, the streets seem a little safer again.