#the amount of times i’ve wanted to post this over the last several weeks… staggering

[seddair]

[jikookiekosmos]

Classified & Confidential || kth (Part 1)

➥Pairing: detective!taehyung/reader

➥Summary: It’s been years since your close friend passed away, case going cold due to lack of evidence. You never once believed the story the police gave you, since they classified it under an ‘unfortunate accident.’ Now that there are telltale signs of something similar at play regarding someone else you hold dear, you decide to take things into your own hands. You hire world renowned private detective, Kim Taehyung. And he goes above and beyond everything you expected.

➥Genre: strangers to lovers (kinda slow burn), detective au, mystery, angst, eventual smut, fluff

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~7.1k

➥Content Warnings: detective/mystery au, (tw: mentions of death, brief mention of suicide in relation to a criminal case, implied foul play, stalking behavior, non-graphic detailing of a crime scene), slight forensic talk, mentions of nervousness and anxiety, some cursing, mentions of cops/police, unhelpful law enforcement (like they’re kinda terrible with the whole solving this case thing), feelings of unease and tension, we get bestie hoseok, tae is kinda extra but for good reason, no suggestiveness/smut in this chapter but it’s still 18+ due to it involving some of the aforementioned warnings

A/N: This will be a multi-part series that explores some darker themes, and each part will have appropriate content warnings listed; please read at your own risk. This part touches on backstory and introduces the characters, things will start getting a little more intense in the following chapters. I don’t have any kind of specific update schedule but ideally I’d like to get updates out every few weeks at the latest! I hope you look forward to this, and if you wanna be added to a taglist, please let me know~

Thank you @dntaewithluv​​​​ for your constant motivation and support (and for always beta-reading for me, even when we scream at each other about our ideas); hopefully I do Tae justice for you! I love you lots ❤️

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn @mwitsmejk​ @bangtanhome

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5 Years Ago

The night sky was dark, blanketed by stars as it emitted a peaceful aura. There was no way to bask in the calmness of the night, however, with all the hustle and bustle that surrounded you outside of the apartment complex.

Crime scene tape marked off the area, and many onlookers had gathered to try and get a glimpse of what happened. You were one yourself, but you weren’t there out of sheer curiosity.

Your breathing was ragged, staggered, as you tried to hold yourself together and observed the scene in front of you unfold.

Police wouldn’t let you beyond the tape, despite knowing the person currently covered by the white tarp.

Minutes prior, one of the cops had been politely trying to hold you back as you thrashed around, mind muddled by the vision of your best friend’s face before the tarp concealed it.

“I’m sorry, we can’t let anyone unauthorized come past this tape, please stay where you are.”

“You don’t understand, that’s my best friend, please let me through, please-”

You couldn’t control the volume of your screams, prompting a few of the other bystanders to try and calm you down seeing as you were very clearly distraught.

An unknown amount of time passed before the thickest part of the crowd decided they’d had enough excitement for one night, retiring to their own homes. You stayed planted in your spot, prepared to not move until you got more of an explanation for what was going on.

You’d resigned yourself to the fact that if someone wanted you to leave, they’d have to do it by force, but you eventually complied after two cops convinced you to come down to the station and issue a statement, given your relation to the victim.

They didn’t grill you hard, which was something you appreciated at the time, since you were really in no state to handle a grueling interrogation. You knew you could be marked down as a potential suspect, but everything from their investigation pointed to them believing it had either been an accident or a possible suicide attempt, the latter of which would almost entirely exclude your involvement.

Over the next few weeks, you cooperated with the investigation and helped them with whatever leads you could provide; you were determined that foul play was involved, because you knew your best friend better than anyone, and the story the cops were feeding you wasn’t adding up.

The theory as you knew it was this: she jumped from her apartment window, which was up a significant amount of stories, more than enough to kill a person. A potential suicide note was found at the scene on the nightstand by her bed, typed on a sheet of paper, so handwriting analysis wasn’t an option. The apartment was undisturbed aside from the window having been open.

It almost seemed like a cut-and-dried case, aside from one other small factor: unknown DNA from a hair follicle was found in the apartment alongside the victim’s own.

This didn’t surprise you…at first. You knew Ky had been perusing multiple dating apps and would often invite people over to her place after successful dates. But as far as you also knew, Ky hadn’t recently been on any dates, so there wasn’t a clear reason for that DNA to show up.

Ky had told you in the weeks leading up to her death that she was afraid someone had been following her around, and it unsettled her so much so that she deleted all the dating apps on her phone until she felt safe again.

Sadly, that day never came, and this fact alone caused the nagging suspicion of foul play to burrow itself even deeper into your subconscious.

Since the DNA was unknown, tracing it would be no easy task, but that didn’t stop you. Anything you could do to shed light on what had actually occurred, you were going to do it, plain and simple.

Which is why when the police decided to close the file on the case and label it as an ‘unfortunate accident,’ you were floored.

You begged them to keep focusing on leads when there really weren’t any, offering to aid in any way you could because there was no way that there wasn’t something missing.

Their response?

“Go home, Y/N, there’s nothing else you can do.”

You left the station that day only after you had caused somewhat of a scene, arguing back and forth with one of the lead detectives until you were ‘carefully escorted’ outside. Enraged, you banged your hand against the glass of the door before you slid down the wall beside it, hugging your knees as you tried to compose yourself.

You weren’t sitting that way for long before you felt a gentle tug on your sleeve. You looked up reluctantly and were met with one of the softest pairs of eyes you’d ever seen.

The stranger offered you a kind smile, one that made your heart ache in the aftermath of everything you’d endured the last several weeks. You’d been tackling this situation all on your own, with barely any help from mutual friends or Ky’s family since she’d been estranged from them.

But now, this man stooped down in front of you and smiling at you like everything would be alright…

It almost made you want to believe it.

“Hi, I uh, couldn’t help but overhear about your situation,” he finally spoke up, sounding somewhat bashful. He had bright red hair that peeked out under a cap he wore, and he was sporting a rainbow colored sweater.

A tinge of embarrassment fluttered through you. “Oh. Sorry you had to witness that.”

So this random stranger heard you telling off the police by yelling at them in broad daylight. Way to make a first impression.

To your surprise, he simply shook his head, smile widening. “No, don’t be sorry! I was, uh – happy to be able to listen.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Ok…may I ask why?”

“Well,” there was that bashful tone again, hand flying to the back of his neck as he looked to the side, “I’d been coming up here for a while, hoping to hear something regarding this case specifically. Usually when I stop by, there isn’t much going on and it’s not like I can just walk in and ask for classified information-”

He stopped speaking immediately once you held up your hand. You didn’t want to be rude, but you were thoroughly confused.

“Is there a reason why you’re eavesdropping for information about this case?”

He nodded eagerly. “Sure is! See, I’m working as a crime reporter, and-”

You scoffed as you pushed yourself to a standing position. “Unbelievable.”

Without sparing another glance to the gentleman, you shouldered past him, earlier hopeful mood soured by the fact that he was just another person looking for a scoop about Ky’s demise.

He was quick to follow, almost jumping down the steps to catch up to you.

“Hey, wait! Please.”

The way he begged pulled at your heartstrings because of how genuine he sounded, and for reasons beyond you, you turned around to face him and decided to hear him out.

You crossed your arms as he sighed with relief.

“Thank you. Ok, to start with, I’m a crime reporter, but I’m not trying to report on this case as everyone knows it.”

Another eyebrow raise from you. “What do you mean?”

The man smiled shyly, brushing away the red hair in his eyes. “I want to bring the injustice of the system to the public’s attention.”

That got your attention. “You do?”

“Yes. And I think your story could help with that.”

“My story?”

He nodded again, this time more eager than the last. “You’re pretty adamant that what happened to your friend was no accident, am I correct?”

Any mention of Ky caused the dull pain in your chest to come back, but at least this time, she wasn’t being mentioned in a gruesome or negative light.

“Yeah, I really don’t think it was an accident. But no one believes me.” You looked down at your shoes, scuffling one against the pavement.

You only looked up again when you felt the stranger’s hand on your shoulder.

“I believe you.”

All of the breath was knocked out of you.

“You…you believe me?”

The smile he gave you this time was bright and sincere as he dropped his hand by his side. “I do. I’ve been following everything posted online or in the newspaper about this case, and some of it just really does not seem plausible. And then after hearing you today, it made so much sense as to why.”

It still bothered you a bit that you were loud enough in the station to be heard outside, but that worry was now being overshadowed by the possibility of having someone else who could stand by you on your conviction.

“It…really means a lot to me that you would even consider my side of things. Truthfully, I think the police only tolerated me this long due to protocol.” You wrapped your arms around yourself.

The red-haired man grimaced at your remark. “Yeah, no kidding. For as long as I’ve been in this line of work, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them take things as seriously as they should.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“About a year. But trust me, I’ve seen a lot during that time.” His determined expression might have made you giggle under other circumstances because it clashed so much with the rest of his soft demeanor.

“I don’t doubt it.” You walked over to the nearby bench seated a few feet away and the stranger followed hesitantly, only sitting beside you when you didn’t give him any indication his presence was unwanted.

The both of you turned toward each other slightly before you spoke up again.

“So, how can I help you with what you’re wanting to do?”

He seemed pleased that you were on board, eyes shining. “For starters, do you think I could interview you? I’d have to ask some sensitive questions, but I feel like I could have a better understanding of the case that way…only if you’re comfortable, though.”

You swallowed as you thought it over. Your participation in the numerous interrogations during the investigation had now proved to lead nowhere, but maybe this time the outcome would be different.

“Sure, I don’t mind. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, to the best of my ability.”

The stranger beamed, looking happy enough to nearly jump out of the bench, despite the current subject matter. “Great!”

His cheerful nature was a little infectious, you had to admit, because you already started to feel a little lighter in his presence. A hand appeared in your line of vision.

“My name is Hoseok, by the way. We haven’t been properly introduced yet so that would be the next best step, I think.”

You did giggle this time at his action. “Nice to meet you, Hoseok. I’m Y/N.” You took his hand into your own to give it a small but firm shake.

“It’s my pleasure, Y/N. Now,” he regarded you with that same soft look he had in his eyes when you first saw him at the station, “what do you say we discuss some logistics over lunch? My treat, of course, since you’re agreeing to help me.”

For the first time in ages, the smile that graced your face was wholeheartedly genuine. “Sounds good.”

Thus, the beginning of a beautiful, long-lasting friendship bloomed that day outside of the one place you’d begun to loathe more than anything else. Over the next few years, Hoseok stood by your side in more ways than you could count, and he was now someone you considered to be one of the best friends you’d ever had.

One of the only best friends you’d ever had.

What you never expected was to be seated with Hoseok at the same diner that started your initial conversation about Ky’s case 5 years later, discussing something much too similar for your liking.

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Present Day

You sipped from your coffee mug, enjoying the warm beverage as you waited at the diner. The weather had been less than ideal, with rain pouring all day long and displaying little signs of stopping.

But Hoseok had been adamant about the two of you meeting up after your voicemail you left the previous night.

As you were thinking about your close friend, you heard the bell above the diner door ring, signaling his arrival. He spotted you across the room and quickly rushed over to your table, leaving rain droplets in his wake.

Hoseok shrugged out of his soaked jacket and tossed in into the booth seat beside him as he shook his head to – hopefully – rid himself of the water trying to slide down his face.

“Hey,” he finally breathed out once he was settled. His usual wild red hair was darker now thanks to the rain, stern expression plastered onto his face.

“Hey.” You responded meekly, attempting to give him a weak smile. Your stomach was churning with unease at the conversation you were about to have.

Hoseok took a deep breath before he folded his hands together and rested his elbows on the table. The coffee you’d ordered for him had been pushed to the side, momentarily forgotten.

He lowered his voice. “Are you sure the pattern of behavior is the same?”

You nodded slowly, going over all the details again in your mind. “I’m positive. The only difference is Yuri waited longer to tell me that she thinks she’s being followed than Ky did.”

Ky. Not a day went by where you didn’t think about her, seeing her smiling face when you would close your eyes at night and try to drift off to sleep.

Slumber came much easier these days than it did those first few months, but every now and then the same nightmare would plague you about the night you saw her on the sidewalk.

You shook your head to shrug the thoughts away. Now wasn’t the time.

“Shit,” Hoseok finally responded. “That doesn’t seem like good news for us.”

“My thoughts exactly. Who knows how long this has been going on. And she’s been receiving the same kind of ‘gifts’ Ky would get, too. Random text messages, voicemails from unknown numbers…she tries to brush it off, but I know this scares Yuri.”

“She doesn’t recognize who’s speaking in the voicemails?”

You shook your head solemnly. “No, they’re using some sort of voice modifier.”

Hoseok cursed again, this time under his breath. “Well, what do you want to do?”

You gulped. Truthfully, you didn’t know the answer yourself. On the one hand, everything currently happening to your friend mimicked what happened to Ky, almost exactly. But on the other hand, Yuri made it known time and time again that she thought you were too paranoid for your own good sometimes.

So, you were at a loss.

Yuri and you were close, in a sense. You’d been friends for the last 4 years, working at the same company after graduating from college and even getting transferred to a new one in the same division so as to not be separated. Outside of Hoseok, you considered her your dearest friend.

But at the same time, you knew that Yuri had those she held very dear in her own life that were there before you, and you’d never try to overstep.

Still…the events surrounding Yuri were too specific to be coincidental in your opinion, and if the hunch you had right now was correct, you needed to do something.

You wouldn’t – you couldn’t – let another person die. Not if there was some way for you to prevent it.

Something you didn’t do with Ky, and that would haunt you for the rest of your life-

Hoseok pulled you out of your thoughts by calling your name, frowning deeply once your gaze focused on him again.

“I…I don’t know. I feel like if I push too hard on this, I’ll also push Yuri away, and I don’t want that.” You worried at your bottom lip, your most infamous nervous habit.

“Be that as it may, this doesn’t seem like something you should ignore either. What’s worse: pushing her away but potentially saving her life, or not saying anything and she ends up in danger?”

A heavy sigh wracked through your body.

Your silence was enough for Hoseok to continue with his own line of thinking. “Well, we could consider going to the police-”

“Absolutely not,” you answered fiercely, with more emotion than you’d displayed the entire conversation, “not after how they handled everything with Ky and how they treated you.”

You and Hoseok had made a name for yourself throughout the town as ‘Public Enemies 1 and 2’ with the local police department. You, due to your persistent insistence that they were wrong in their deduction about Ky, and Hoseok because of the article he published that shamed their name.

The article was the first – and last – one that he published under the company that had hired him to be a reporter, seeing as the police department had enough sway to get him fired afterwards. He wasn’t able to find another reporting job anywhere within the town or those surrounding it.

There also weren’t any remaining records of the article anywhere online or in paper publication, but as a ‘fuck you’ to the department, Hoseok had a copy of it printed and hanging up on his wall for anyone and everyone to see. You had always admired how he handled the situation with grace even though it made your blood boil every time you thought about it.

Even so, some good had come from the whole ordeal. After failing to find another reporter job, Hoseok had made a somewhat notable career as a crime novel author, popular among locals because of how he came to be a novelist, and eventually rising to fame due to his own amazing writing skills.

He enjoyed his career and had a happy life, but that didn’t mean you had to forgive and forget the shitty events that happened to get him to that point.

Hoseok nodded in understanding. “Ok, so no police. Does that mean we try to tackle this whole thing by ourselves?”

“Neither of us have any legit experience with this kind of stuff, so that’s out of the question, too.”

Hoseok tapped his chin as he pondered another idea. The way his eyes lit up as it came to him made your lips curve upward.

“What if we go to someone who isn’t involved with the police but does have experience with that?”

“…not sure I’m following you.”

Hoseok huffed in an endearing way. “Have you ever heard of a private detective?”

The word ‘detective’ made you wince, considering your last encounter with one evolved into a screaming match…but it was also how you met Hoseok, so there’s a silver lining for everything.

“I’m not familiar with a private detective, but I’m open to listening to your idea.”

He grinned. “Perfect. Ok, so in my research for my latest novel, I actually ended up looking into some real-life private detectives.”

“And what did you find?” Your own curiosity was definitely piqued now, as it always was when Hoseok would talk about something so passionately.

“There’s one who’s basically world renowned, like he’s really fucking good. And his office isn’t too far from here, it’s basically in the next town over.”

You took another sip from your coffee, swirling the now lukewarm liquid around in your mouth as you contemplated.

“What else do you know about him?”

Hoseok’s shoulders slumped slightly at that. “Not much. The only information I have on him is his name and how you can contact him. From what I’ve read, he seems to be pretty selective with clients.”

“No idea what he looks like?”

Hoseok shook his head. “None. There weren’t pictures or anything like that, I’m not even sure how old he is.”

You hummed as you pictured this mystery man in your head, automatically defaulting to envisioning an older man, maybe in his 50s with already graying hair. A wise old soul who had seen so much in his long years of investigation work.

“Not like all that really matters, I guess. Do you think I should reach out to him?”

Hoseok nodded around his coffee cup before he tilted his head back to take a large sip. “That’s our best shot right now. And if it doesn’t work out, at least you tried.”

Such a simple statement but it made your stomach twist at the memory of Ky and how you weren’t able to save her because you didn’t know how. “Right.”

Hoseok pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through what looked like Google search results. When he found what he was looking for, he texted you the information.

“Kim Taehyung?” You said the name aloud, making sure you got the correct info.

“Yup, that’s him. If you do decide to contact him, let me know how it goes, ok? I’m already worried as is about you delving into something like this again.”

You patted his hand. “I know, Hobi. Don’t worry. I’ll be careful, and I’ll keep you updated as much as possible.”

He smiled brighter than the sunshine. “That’s all I can ask for, bub.”

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You paced around your apartment, staring at the text that Hoseok had sent you earlier. The rest of your time with him at the diner had been calm and helped to quell your nerves, but now that you were alone again, you were riddled with anxiety.

You had typed in this Kim Taehyung’s number into your phone, ready to call him and just get it over with. The worst he could do is decline your ask for help, but you wouldn’t know unless you tried.

After a few more minutes of useless pacing, you finally hit ‘send’ and raised the receiver to your ear.

You were met with an answering machine almost immediately, wondering if maybe you typed it in wrong until you heard ‘you have reached the number for Kim Taehyung.’ The name had been uttered by a human voice, one that was deep and took you off guard.

You had barely enough time to ponder over the voice before you heard the tell-tale ‘beep’ signaling for you to start your message.

“Oh! Um, hello, Mr. Kim. This is Y/N- well my name is Y/N. I was referred to you by a friend of mine who said you may can help me with a situation I’m having. There’s…some suspicious behavior involving someone dear to me and I’m afraid they could be in danger, but I’m not sure who to turn to. I-If you’d like to give me a call back, you can reach me at this number…”

You finished your voicemail with your contact information before thanking him and wishing him a goodnight. Once you pulled away your phone, you checked the time.

10:36 PM. No wonder you got his answering machine.

The anxiety that had settled down while you were leaving your message started to come back, so to combat that you made the decision to go ahead and get ready for bed. There wasn’t anything else you could do right now, anyway.

You texted Yuri just to wish her a goodnight, and when you received a response almost immediately, you breathed out a sigh of relief. At least she was alright and that was one less thing to worry about for now.

You didn’t dream that night – which was a blessing in its own right – as you thought about the deep timbre of the voice from the answering machine. You’d only heard it briefly, but it left enough of an impact, that was for sure.

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You awoke around 8 AM, your typical time no matter what day it was. It was the weekend, so you could get more sleep if you wanted, but a quick check of your phone had you sitting upright at a record speed.

[Unknown] 6:28 AM: I got your voicemail. If you want to discuss your case, meet me at this address.

Your heart thumped faster as you re-read the words over again. The following message had an address attached, and when you opened it, you noticed how it was for the neighboring town.

With all of the context clues, and taking into account everything Hoseok told you yesterday, you figured that it was Mr. Kim who had texted you. Obviously it would be from an unknown number, and he wouldn’t give out any explicit personal details to lead back to him; that’s just how he did things, as Hobi had mentioned.

And if he contacted you back, that meant he was interested in helping you!

Well…he was interested in hearing you out, at least. Still, you wouldn’t pass up on this opportunity. You quickly crafted a response before you started to make yourself presentable.

[y/n] 8:03 AM: Thank you! When should I meet you?

You had just finished brushing your teeth when you heard your phone chime again.

[Unknown] 8:06 AM: Whenever is best for you. I’ll be here all day and don’t have any other clients lined up.

You clutched your phone to your chest. This was really happening.

Once you were done getting ready to head out, it was just past 9 AM. You called Hobi to let him know what you were doing, and his excitement was tangible even through the phone. He urged you to keep him posted about all the details, which you assured him that of course you would.

The drive to the address you’d been given didn’t take too long, maybe around 20 minutes or so. What surprised you when you arrived, though, was the outward appearance of the building.

It looked abandoned, for lack of a better term, and you checked the text message 3 more times to make sure this is where you were supposed to be.

[y/n] 9:28 AM: I’m here…but I’m not sure if this is the correct place?

There was an eerie feeling settling in your stomach as you waited for a response. Maybe this had been some sort of trick? Had someone set you up?

The sound of a deadbolt clicking grabbed your attention, and the door a few feet in front of you opened up to display an older woman. At first, she seemed a bit disgruntled at having an unexpected guest, but before you could apologize for intruding, her gruff expression was replaced with a warm smile.

“I take it you’re Y/N?”

You gulped and nodded, placing your phone back into your jacket pocket.

“Follow me.”

She turned on her heel to walk back into the building, not bothering to wait and see if you would obey. You quickly scurried after her, only stopping once you were a foot or so behind.

You walked through about 3 or 4 different hallways, trying to remember the directions you’d taken but failing miserably. There wasn’t much to this building…you saw what appeared to be a few offices here and there but otherwise, not much else.

“Here we are,” the woman croaked, gesturing with her arm to a much nicer looking door that had gold lettering on the window.

The etchings were bold, and it was very evident where you were as you read the words:

KIM TAEHYUNG

Private Detective

The older woman rapped on the door 3 times with her knuckles before she walked off. You were standing there, dumbfounded, until you heard a voice softly telling you to come inside.

The doorknob clicked easily under your hand, and as you entered the room, you were in awe of how different everything looked.

The office was tidy and, dare you say, extravagant compared to what surrounded it outside of this room. There were two brown leather couches that had a decent sized coffee table seated in between them; further into the office, you saw the same type of leather chairs, one in front of and one behind a large wooden desk. You also spotted a few plants that looked to be well taken care of, one sitting in a windowsill and the other on a small table next to some black filing cabinets.

Whoever had designed this room clearly had a knack for matching furniture together, because it all meshed well and you appreciated the sleek look to everything.

Your eyes ended their scan as you looked over to the far wall, almost letting out a gasp when you noticed the figure across the room whose back was turned to you.

When you softly shut the door, the other person in the room turned around. It took you a second to start thinking properly again, because he was not at all how you pictured he would be.

For starters, he looked much younger than you thought originally, closer to your own age, which you thought was admirable considering his high status as a detective. He had brown hair parted down the middle that was slightly wavy, with bangs covering his forehead. He had very handsome facial features as well, some of the most handsome you’d ever seen, if you were being honest with yourself.

He was wearing dark jeans and a shirt with black and white print that was hidden underneath a black leather jacket. Everything about this man seemed to scream fashionable and it was throwing you for a loop. You weren’t trying to stereotype him based on your own experience with detectives in the past, but he was just…so not what you expected him to be.

You were wondering again if this might be a prank, until he finally spoke up and acknowledged your presence.

“Y/N, is it?”

You nodded dumbly, scrambling to walk across the office as he motioned to the chair in front of his desk. He sat down in his own once you were close enough, and you shrugged out of your jacket before following suit.

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything, you felt small under his scrutinizing gaze. He was leaning on one elbow, chin resting in his palm as he stared at you with intensity.

He spoke suddenly, almost making you flinch with surprise.

“So, you mentioned a friend of yours might be in danger?”

You nodded, not sure what to say or if you should say anything.

“Does this friend know you’ve come to a private detective about their situation?”

You opened your mouth, closed it, and opened it again. “Well…no.”

The man nodded, more to himself than you, it looked like. “Alright. That’s not an issue, just have to cover all the basics first.”

“What do the basics entail?”

He seemed amused by your interest as you took the initiative to ask questions now.

His fingertips drummed along the desk, a rhythmic sound that you found to be oddly soothing.

“It entails me finding out as much about your case as I’m willing to before I decide whether or not it’s something I can assist you with.”

He started twirling a pen with his unoccupied fingers, clearly waiting for you to speak first again before he continued.

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything you feel is pertinent to tell me.”

You sighed. “Well, to start with, I think my friend is being followed by someone-”

“Proof?”

You frowned. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Do you have proof? Does this friend have pictures or a video of them being followed, or is it just a feeling?”

“To my knowledge…no. It’s more that they sense it than have actually seen it.”

“And you want me to find out if this is happening or not?”

“Um…yes?”

It was his turn to sigh this time. “You don’t sound very confident in your answer, Y/N.”

His tone rubbed you the wrong way. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What it means,” he broke off to look away from the pen to your face again, “is that I need to know what it is you want from me before I can agree to help you.”

You were catching onto his game now. He wanted you to very specifically lay it all out for him, instead of leaving him to figure it out by grasping at straws.

“Well, Mr. Kim-”

“Taehyung.”

“Sorry?”

“Taehyung. You can call me that, if you want. I’m not super big on formalities for myself.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek. Why was his presence so overwhelming?

“With all due respect, Mr. Kim, I’ve never done this before. All I know is something isn’t right, and I don’t trust the police to offer assistance in the way I need.”

You swore you saw something flash in his eyes.

“Why don’t you trust the police?”

You crossed your arms and leaned more into the chair. “The last time I worked with them, it didn’t end well.”

“You’ve worked on the force?” He almost sounded impressed.

“No, sorry, poor choice of wording. I tried to help them with a case before.”

“Ah,” his eyes narrowed as he busied himself with the pen again. “Were you a suspect, or?”

“I was close to the victim,” you said softly, almost a whisper.

For a moment, his expression softened. “I’m so sorry.”

You shrugged, inhaling a shaky breath as you looked at your lap. “It’s fine. Just…there’s your answer. I don’t want to work with them again, so I came to you.”

“If I’m able to take your case, I’ll make sure you don’t regret that decision.”

His tone had you picking your eyes back up. You noticed a fire within his own, one that made you feel like he meant every single word he’d just said to you.

“Thank you.”

He carded a hand through his hair, the action drawing your attention to the silver watch that adorned his wrist.

“Can I ask…could you tell me about the case you were involved with?”

A slow nod from you. “If it’ll help, I can do that.”

He motioned for you to continue. As you started telling him the details, you noticed as his eyes widened. At one point, he politely interrupted you.

“Sorry, just – I remember that case. You were involved with that?”

“Yes.” You were twisting your hands together in your lap. “Ky was my best friend.”

“And the police just let the case go cold, without considering all traces of evidence?”

“I begged them not to, but there wasn’t much I could do. They made that known several times,” you trailed off. You thought you heard some semblance of a growl coming from the detective.

“I always knew something was weird about that…every report they published made no sense, and none of the pieces of evidence seemed to corroborate their theories.” His hushed tone suggested he may have been talking more to himself, but you didn’t question it.

“There were signs of suspicious behavior leading up to her death that they never considered, and any time I tried to bring it up, I was shut down immediately.”

“Are these ‘signs’ something you’re noticing now, with your other friend?”

“Yes, exactly.”

Taehyung hummed. “I see. You want to inspect this before it gets out of hand, so you came to me because the police are a lost cause.”

You nodded feebly, voice softer than ever when you spoke again. “I don’t want to see another person die.”

“You won’t.”

His answer startled you, even if it was as quiet as your own. Your eyes met briefly before he started looking anywhere but your face.

Another hush befell the room, and this one seemed more awkward than the last, considering Taehyung cleared his throat before he rifled through one of his desk drawers.

“Before you tell me anything else, I need you to look over something first.”

“Sure, whatever I need to do, I’ll do it.”

A crooked smile tugged at Taehyung’s lips. “You know, you’re a lot more obedient than most of my other clients.”

You…weren’t sure how to take that.

“I am?”

“Yeah. Most of the time they come in with demands and don’t like to listen when I push back on something. It’s part of the reason why I’ve gotten choosier about who I decide to do business with these last few years. But you,” he fished out a piece of paper from the drawer, “are proving much easier to work with. I appreciate that.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

He chuckled, the sound low. “You’re also way more polite than most people I encounter.”

You smiled at him for the first time. “I’m grateful you’re taking the time to hear me out.”

His eyes lingered on yours for just a second before shifting down.

“First and foremost,” Taehyung slid a piece of paper across the wooden desk that separated the two of you, “if we agree to do business, you’ll need to sign this contract. It lists my stipulations and services I can provide.”

You picked up the paper, not quite sure what to expect.

“Take your time to read over all of it carefully, just so everything is clear on both our ends.” He leaned back in his chair, the sound of squeaking leather breaking your concentration for a moment.

You scanned through every line, all of the contract terms seeming straight-forward and easy to agree to-

-but the last line caught your attention.

“Could you explain this last part, please?”

Taehyung leaned over to look at which line you were pointing to before he let out a soft chuckle. “Ah, that. My #1 most important rule. Never get involved with clients’ personal lives.”

“But don’t you have to sometimes?”

“For work, yes. But this is more referring to what happens outside of that. Things can get…messy.”

“You talk like that’s happened before.”

Taehyung smirked but offered nothing more to that specific conversation.

“So, are we in business?”

You didn’t have to ponder long before you signed the contract with a flourish. When you passed it back across the desk, Taehyung smiled.

“Perfect,” he stood up to shake your hand, “I’ll be in touch with you shortly, once I’ve reviewed your case.”

You returned the shake. “Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

He squeezed your hand once before letting it go.

“The pleasure is all mine.”

You waited to see if there was anything else he might need from you, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. He leaned down and sifted through his drawer once more, this time pulling out a Manila file folder.

“I use these to get the typical information needed for me to start my research. It just asks for client’s name and contact info, as well as a summary about what you’re wanting from me and other names of those involved. In this instance, it would be your friend. You can give me as little or as much info as you think I need.”

He handed the folder to you, and upon opening it up, you saw everything he had just mentioned to you on a sheet of paper stapled to the inside.

“I’d prefer you fill it out now so you can leave it with me, but of course I can’t force you to do anything.”

His tone suggested he was teasing, but you were quick to sit on one of the couches and begin filling out the paper. It didn’t take you very long, and when you were done, you noticed he was sitting on the opposite couch, elbows resting on his knees with his hands folded.

“Finished?”

You nodded as you slid the file across the coffee table, his pen placed on top. He accepted both and smiled at you.

“Alright, if that’s all you want to discuss, you’re free to go. As I mentioned before, I’ll be in touch with you after I’ve looked over everything and have some sort of plan on how to proceed. And of course, all of this information is strictly classified. You read that in the contract, but I always reiterate it anyway, due to some problems I’ve had in the past.”

“Of course.” You agreed with no hesitation. Honestly, you couldn’t fathom just how much he’s had to endure in his line of work, how many times he’s probably had to change locations and phone numbers.

Hell, Kim Taehyung may not even be his real name, and you’d never know.

“Any questions for me?”

You mumbled some form of ‘no’ as you shook your head. Taehyung walked over to the door to open it for you, and you certainly weren’t expecting the same woman from before to be out in the hallway, but there she was.

“Ms. Choi will show you out since this place is a bit of a maze,” his tone was light, a sheer contrast to the mood that had settled over the two of you from when you stepped into his office. “Don’t forget: I’ll contact you.”

“Yes, sir.” You couldn’t help the authoritative term as it slipped past your lips, and you walked through the door before you could see the look on his face. You thought you might have heard some sort of laugh from Ms. Choi as she escorted you back to the front, but your imagination liked to play tricks on you sometimes.

Besides, Taehyung said he wasn’t one for formalities, so it didn’t really matter that much, did it? He had to be older than you anyway…right?

You spent the entire walk through the building trying to justify in your head what had just happened, and Ms. Choi gave you a soft smile as she held the door open for you to leave.

When you settled back in your car, you gripped the steering wheel and took a deep breath, leaning your head back as you shut your eyes.

You still couldn’t quite believe that the last 30 minutes or so had happened. Taehyung had proven to be quite different than what you anticipated, but he was truthfully better than you could have hoped.

He seemed driven and motivated about his line of work, and the way he reassured you when you had your doubts-

-it made you feel…safe. Like this was a step in the right direction after all.

As you called Hobi to fill him in on everything during your drive home, you started to believe that maybe, just maybe, things would turn out alright.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

➥Part 2

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

[sardinesandhumbugs]

“Congratulations, you have invented a new kind of stupid.”

I think you know which two characters this is for.

A/N: I know you intended this to be Ratty & Toad, but since you didn't specify (and because someone else has actually submitted the exact same prompt & characters) I'm going to play ignorant and apply this to Mole & Ratty instead. :D Also this is set after @a-place-to-come-back-to's recent ficlet, which I've very kindly been given permission to follow up because I needed to return fire the angst.

x

Rat didn't remember much of being sick.

He supposed that was a blessing of sorts.

(In the weeks that followed, fleeting déjà vu would unsettle him – in a turn of phrase, in the looks that haunted him – but right now he was simply tired and aching and borne down with the effort of waking.)

Mole entered, and Rat blearily recalled the parting words Badger had thrown his way earlier. "I've been told," he said, aiming for humour but sounding hoarse instead, "that you might have some choice words for me."

Mole sank into the chair beside the bed, and his failure to rise to the teasing tone unnerved Rat more than he cared to admit. There was a presence in the corridor beyond the room also, that of Badger and... Toad? Their shadows caught the edge of the threshold, uncharacteristically still in the latter's case. There was a heavy silence thickening the air, the kind found on hallowed ground, or libraries.

Or funerals.

Rat decided he didn't like the last comparison.

"Mole–"

"How do you feel?"

Hadn't he already answered that for Badger only a few minutes...? Or was it an hour? Hazily, Rat realised he'd dozed in Badger's leaving and Mole's arrival, and time had slipped from him. He couldn't be sure the reddened sky was dawn or dusk, or indeed if it was even the same sunrise/set that he'd previously woken to.

Better to be dusk, he thought. Wasn't that the phrase? Red sky at night, sailor's delight? Red sky at morning, sailor's... something. Mourning? No.

"Ratty?"

Mole's prompting brought Rat back to the present, and he refocused on the question. "I feel as fit as a fiddle," Rat croaked. It wasn't in the least bit convincing, but anything to curb that grieving fear that his home had seen far too much of. "Give me another hour, and I'll be doing cartwheels."

There was a harrumph from the doorway, followed by a gruff, "Least he's feeling well enough to joke about it," that Rat suspected he wasn't meant to catch. Regardless, the crotchety tone reassured Rat. It was far more familiar than the desperate relief he'd encountered upon his first waking.

Beside him, Mole gave a snuffling, tired laugh. "You've never done cartwheels in your life."

"I've just never had need to."

"You'd trip over your tail."

"Name one time–"

"On the open road," Mole answered instantly, just a smidgen too smugly for Rat's liking. "Several times. You got rather drunk that first day in the caravan."

"Oh." Rat attempted to remember it, but between the vagueness of his post-illness mind, and the inebriated haziness of the original memory, he had no hope. "Well," he grumbled, "that was the drinks' doing, not mine."

"Sure, Ratty."

They lapsed back into silence, and Rat could feel the mood shifting as Mole prepared to broach whatever subject Badger had alluded to with his 'choice words' remark.

In the emptiness, Rat's mind eddied. It swung between the cacophony outside – the birds sang, was it in their rising or their dawn chorus? – onto if it were the latter, how sparingly had his friends slept? There was certainly the fatigue of sleepless nights about in both Mole and Badger – before the train of thought slipped away entirely in a fit of exhaustion and he was momentarily only aware of how his whole form ached.

"Why didn't you tell anyone how bad it'd gotten?" Mole eventually demanded.

"Why didn't you say how bad it was?" Ratty demands. The room is warm, too warm, and still the older animal shivers. The creeping sickness is stealing his father away in inches, but only now does Ratty see how the finishing line for this fatalistic race is a matter of feet, not miles.

His father answers in that rattling breathlessness that has become so cruelly familiar. "I didn't want you to worry."

In the here and now, Rat hesitated. "I..." The memory crowded his mind, and he refused to echo the past a second time. "I thought I'd get better. Without having to wo– without having to inconvenience anyone."

Mole snorted. "Well then, congratulations," he said. "You've invented a new kind of stupid."

Even through the post-sickness, Rat had the energy to look indignant. "I find that hard to believe when we're both familiar with Toad–"

"If you'd just admitted to this earlier, we could have got the pneumonia seen to before it got this bad," Mole snapped. "Instead I had to get Toad and the doctor involved on a matter of urgency, then fetch Badger late into the day, and Mrs Otter has been round twice, and when you wouldn't wake–" Mole faltered, anger and fear choking the words. "I don't give a fig about the inconvenience of it all, but since you do, perhaps you should have considered that before deciding that hiding it away would be a kindness."

"How long have you known?" Ratty stands in the too-hot kitchen with shaking paws. He clings to the anger. It hurts less than the grief.

"Ratty–"

"How long?"

Though his nose might not have been as sensitive as Badger's or Mole's, Rat could smell it now. The fear. Potent and tearstained and the type that preceded grief. It mingled with the scent of worm stew – one of Mrs Otter's specialities when it came to home cooked offerings for Rat's housemate – and, all in a rush, he recalled another time the house had been a recipient of the otter's culinary kindness.

"For you," Mrs Otter says, pushing the dish into Ratty's paws. "Thought you might not be eating much after... well–" she glances subtly but not subtly enough to the empty chair along the jetty, "you know."

He looked back to his friend now, the past ricocheting and overlaying the present in uncomfortable parallels. "I'm sorry. I should have – should have told you sooner."

"You should've," Mole agreed. "And we won't make that mistake again, will we?"

Rat rather felt that that was a rather pointed usage of the royal 'we.' "No, we won't."

The tap of the cane denoted Badger's entrance. It sounded louder than usual, as if Badger was leaning heavily against it. "Right then, now that's all sorted out, it's time that some animals got some sleep." He laid a paw on Mole's shoulder. "You too."

"I'm fine–" Mole began.

"Dozing on and off through the wee small hours of the night does not count as fine," Badger told him. "I'm not having two animals collapse on my watch."

With only a small amount of protesting – which betrayed just how tired he was – Mole was ushered out, leaving Badger alone at the bedside.

"So," Rat said, "I guess you're on invalid duty?"

"I'm off to fetch the doctor," Badger said. He grinned. "Toad is on invalid duty until I'm back."

As if on cue – and, to be honest, Rat couldn't be sure that Toad hadn't been waiting in the wings for the perfect entrance – Toad staggered in under a small mountain of blankets. "Don't you worry, Badge, I have this all under control! I've had my staff bring over the finest blankets from Toad Hall, so much better than any ratty old throw you probably have here, no offence, Ratty–"

"Offence taken."

"–and my chef is cooking up enough chicken soup to keep you going through 'til next spring. By the time the doctor comes round, you'll be so well recovered that she'll wonder why she was summoned."

"Toad?" Rat implored Badger. "You're leaving me alone with Toad?"

"It wouldn't have come to this if you'd come clean sooner," Badger said, with just a dash of tell-tale impishness to his words.

"I'm sick! I need rest!"

"And you'll get it," Badger said. He added, in a tone that belied a semblance of pity, "I won't be long."

"This is cruel and unusual punishment!" Rat wheezed.

The door swung shut behind Badger, and Rat was left to warily eye his assigned caretaker.

Toad, in comparison, didn't seem the least bit perturbed by Rat's outburst. He patted Rat's shoulder. "All this stress will do you no good, Ratty, but fortunately, Toad is on the case and I know just what you need."

"Peace and quiet?" Rat offered hopefully.

"Entertainment! Distraction! And, luckily for you, I happen to have discovered the most intriguing hobby. You see, it began last week while I was dropping by the town, and who should I encounter, but..."

Rat didn't remember much of being sick. But, it turned out, he would remember every moment of the recovery.

Whether or not he wanted to.

[newobsessionweekly]

You are my home

Miguel Bernardeau x reader

a/n: I’m back bitches 😂 Yeah so I hope you like it. It’s the second part of ‘Be my home’. It took me ages to finish it, but I loove it. Anyway, enjoy it and tell me what do you think. 🌿❤️

Y/n is still adjusting her life in Madrid. She finds it a welcoming city, with smiling people immediately accepting her and embraced her with so much love. It’s not different from Seville, it has the same vibe; maybe Madrid is bigger and more modern. In Seville she was living her historical story, waiting for her Prince Charming, riding a white, beautiful horse and immediately falling for her. But instead a Prince Charming, she bumped – she literally bumped – into a blonde guy, with blue eyes, more restless than the sea on a stormy night and beautiful little freckles painting his skin.

Miguel is the best thing that happened to Y/n, that’s what she’s been telling him and everyone. She had the opportunity to glow up thanks to him, and because of him, Y/n had seen so many interesting places she always dreamed of. She was there for Miguel and watched him became the successful and adored man he is now. She knew he is working so hard, even before they moved together, but now, having the chance to see him the first thing in the morning and the last one late in the night, she understood that she didn’t knew even knew half of his hard work. He wanted to hide it from her, he wanted Y/n to see him only smiling, joking and only when he’s been able to show how much he loved her.

 But the love for him only grew stronger. First night he had came home exhausted since they moved in, and tried to ignore her, not wanting to taint her with his tiredness and negative thoughts. Despite the fact he pushed her away, Y/n didn’t allowed him to distance himself too much and wrapped her arms around him. They just stayed in the middle of the living room, on the floor, hugging each other and creating a bridge so that their feelings could melt into each other’s. That moment, he understood that his pain, tiredness and negativity would go away with only one touch and wave of her magic hand. She brings so much happiness in his life that Miguel really wonders all the time if she’s got any left.

Their house is literally a living hell, with all the windows wide open and the heat felt all day long that hasn’t decreased even a bit.  Madrid is a city of extremes when it comes to its climate – cold in winter and swelteringly hot in summer.  And today is no exception. Y/n felt like melting in their own house, no air conditioning working and too much humidity flying around. Ten post meridiem, the city has no intention on standing still, while Y/n – with her legs crossed beneath her small body, in front of her laptop – tries to wipe away the sleep.   

She’s been up since Miguel left for work early in the morning and hasn’t closed her eyes for even a minute. Working from home has its ups and downs, but she didn’t have the chance to it too much, moving in with Miguel was maybe too sudden and rushed for Y/n. She don’t like being closed between four walls seven days a week, in Seville she preferred walking to her office, grabbing the coffee she loves from Starbucks and – the most exciting part – choosing the perfect outfit. Y/n’s agency has no subsidiary in Madrid, so from the distance she still runs the one from Seville and it’s even harder.

During the dog-days of summer – which she is somehow surviving – her only concern is Miguel. He’s working hard and though he doesn’t have more scenes to shoot, they are all located under the ruthless sun of Madrid. 

Focused on finishing the assignments for today, Y/n is no longer paying attention to the noises around her. She got used to the loud engines running down the streets and the restless dogs around the neighbourhood. The door unlocked and opened at Miguel’s gentle touch and as soon as he saw Y/n concentrated on the little screen in front of her’s eyes, he took as long time as he needed to observe her. Standing on a bar height chair at one of the  counters with the kitchen’s door wide open and the wind blowing like crazy through the house, he found her hotter than ever, even hotter than the weather outside and there are only a few things that can beat that up.

“I’m home!” Miguel announces himself and takes his shoes off as she switched her eyes from the laptop to the clock that indicates eleven and five minutes already.

“Kitchen!” she called and stretched her back as he walked into the little kitchen.

Y/n smiled instantly at the sight of him. Miguel is beautiful, even with his head shaved and his tired eyes; he has that magic vibe constantly circling around and with a small, weary smile, he could light up everyone’s day. Her day is certainly better now.

“Hello, lovely!” Miguel greets and she sits up to wrap her arms around him tight. Their bodies connected like they are made for each other and all the heat and worries that bothered both of them through the day, disappeared as soon as they touched. His hands runs down on her exposed skin, making her shiver of longing and desire.

“Hi, handsome!” Y/n pulls apart from the hug just to get up on her toes to face him properly. Miguel is tall, Miguel is a giant to her and Y/n loves that. She loves to feel his big arms wrapping around her waist or to rest her head on his big shoulders. His hands stops from aimlessly wandering on her back and holds her tighter as she presses her forehead on his and smiles bright at him. Miguel smiles back and soon enough ends the teasing game she’s been playing and their lips touches and dances in a passionate waltz.

“Quite interesting the clothes you’ve chosen to wear today!” he teases her and slowly moves his hands up and down her spine making her shiver under his touch. Miguel is not used to Y/n walking in bra and shorts around his house, though she told him she has this habit back at home. He could just imagine her, with bare foot circling the apartment and the sun shines caressing her uncovered silhouette.    

“I’m sorry, I’ll go get changed immediately. I thought it’s a good idea since you’ve been gone all day.” Y/n agitatedly stepped back from his touch and turned around to find her way, still dazed from the staggering feel of his fingers tracing the shape of her. He just stares at her with a stupid smile on his face – the reality of her wandering partly naked on his house is even more intoxicating than his imagination.   

“No, it’s fine. I’ll get changed.” Miguel stopped her and under her beautiful eyes, he quickly crossed the living room. As he entered the bathroom, he slowly stripped the clothes he had been wearing all day and kept only his boxers. “We’ll have dinner in underwear. It’s gonna be fun.”

He wickedly smiled and abandoned the items on the floor as Y/n shakes her head. It’s a bad habit Miguel has. She doesn’t say any word about it because she knows how tired he is and the always-on-the-run life doesn’t have ‘orderly’ as synonym. Miguel turned to grab one beer from the fridge and rested his body on the window frame as he lighted up a cigarette and placed it between his fingers.

„Sorry I missed lunch, I’ve hangout with the boys. Are you upset?”

Miguel is concerned because Y/n looks tired than usual. Holding still a business from more than five hundred kilometres away is hard and she’s a hard worker. Y/n is working since sunrise until sundown with only small breaks and few bites of leftovers. Due to the fact of their busy lives, they are trying to spend any pause together, talking about everything, sharing their feelings and thoughts.

„No, no!” she shakes her head and turns to look at him while extinguished the cigarette and scrolled down his phone. ”I’ve got some work to finish anyway.” Y/n yawned and stretched her back.

„Oh, do you want me to help with dinner?”Miguel asked as he approached her and caressed her arms. Small drops of water start to hit violently the ground as a chilly wind invades the kitchen.

„It’s ready, I just need to set the table.” Y/n shakes her head and closes the laptop, reaching the cabinet for some plates.  

„It’s fine, I can do that.” Miguel pushes her away and moves back and forth through the kitchen to set the table for them. At least that he could do for her. Y/n kisses his cheek on her way to close all the windows from the house and as she trapped over his t-shit – soaked with his cologne and a scent of body perfume – she covered her body with it.  

„Thank you,love!” as she returned to the kitchen, the table was already arranged and ‘Fideuà’ is already on the plates. Y/n sat down in front of Miguel and started eating the large amount of noodles and seafood. “So, how was your day?” Miguel smiled at her, chewing before grabbing her free hand, intervening their fingers.

“I had a good time with the boys outside the set. They all miss you, especially Omar.” He laughed, playing with his fork. “We should go to the club soon. I think Arón said something about going to some club this weekend. We’ll see. How was your day? ”

“Gladly not as boring as the other ones.” Y/n chuckles and lifted her feet on his lap under the table. “I was around at María’s place.”

“María Pedraza?” he asked, surprised by her words. Not that it is a bad thing that they spent some time together – in fact María is one of his dearest friends and she likes Y/n really much – but he knows María is filming for a new Spanish TV show on Netflix in Marbella.

“No, no! Our neighbour. Only two houses down the street.” She is trying to explain him, but he’s paralyzed with that questioning look stuck on his face. He doesn’t know what to say or how to act, a million of thoughts flying inside his head, not knowing which one he should listen to.

“What?” he absently plays with the fork in his plate.

“Yeah, yeah.” She swallowed the food before speaking again, with her eyes searching for his, wondering what was going on with him. He knows her – Y/n is very sure they are friends, she saw them talking several times – but the lost look on his face and the distance he took after hearin her talking, made her thinking it was a bad idea telling him. “But she’s really sweet. I had a great time there, and Marco, the little one, is so smart and fascinating.” She smiled under his sight and continued: “She told little stories about when you moved in and-”

“What did she said? What did she said about me?” Miguel interrupted, agitatedly looking at her. If she’d knew, she’d be mad at him, but Y/n is all a smile and really showing she had a great day, killing the boredom socializing and it was good for her. But he couldn’t accept her hanging out with María.

“She said nothing. Is there something to say? Or more precisely, to remain untold?” Y/n placed her fork at its place when she stopped eating because the lump from her throat grew bigger, and watched Miguel as he sat up and walked to the window to light another cigarette.

“There’s nothing to be said. I just don’t like you hanging out with her. So please don’t do that anymore.” Miguel took a sip from his glass of red wine and looked at her between his eyelashes. He is speaking calmly, showing off a blank expression and trying not to make a big deal from this situation. She’s a grown up, she will understand that – or at least that’s what he taught.

“What?” she stood up from her seat and, confused, and shakes her head in an attempt to clear her head and understand better what he just said. But there’s nothing better to understand, there is no other implied in that sentence. “You can’t be serious.”

“Yes, I am very serious. I don’t like her, you shouldn’t be spending time around her. She’s not a good influence. ” Miguel explained and his hand moved up and down at his every word. He extinguished the cigarette on the window sill and threw it outside as he finished his drink.  

Y/n doesn’t have many friends here in Madrid. Between arranging her life in the new city and maintain the order in the office from far away, she hasn’t found any time to make new friends. Her best friends are spread into the world and they barely have time to see or talk to each other.  So the only friends she’s got in Madrid are Miguel’s friends and she feels the need to have her own friends. Spending some time with María  – the only girl around her age in the neighbourhood – made that place feel more and more like a home. Being away from Miguel, even for some talks, felt right and like a breath of fresh air.

“Ah, your friends got the best influence over you, right? Your friend Omar influenced you to start smoking and Arón convinced you to try those shitty things, that joint that made you threw up a whole night.” She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest as a defence. Y/n’s voice is a little bitter, but the last thing she wants is to offend him and his friends.

“That’s not the same! I did that because I wanted to for a long time. They just gave me some courage. Besides that, why are you attacking my friends? You like them!” Miguel pointed his finger at Y/n as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

She loves Omar and Arón. Omar in fact is one of her closest friends, she trust him almost as much as she trusts Miguel. Y/n knows that they have their best intentions, she doesn’t have the right to make comments to their address, but she’s hurt. His words hurt her pretty bad, the fact that he’s telling her with whom she should be spending her time, it means only that he thinks she’s not capable of taking care of herself. She’s a grown up, she moved all the way from Seville through Madrid and now it’s not the time to let her guard down and let him telling her stuff like that.    

“Yeah, I like them. Also I like María. You like her too, you talk to her sometimes!” Y/n lifted her hands and let them down again in frustration. She shook her head at him and turned to admire the street lights and the empty road beneath them.  

“No, I just talk to her so that she mind her own business and stay away from you.” He’s very free and easy despite the shocking words coming out from his mouth. Y/n felt nothing but astonishment and anger increasing in her body. They haven’t start to yell at each other for now, but she’s couldn’t make any promises.

“You told her to stay away from me? Why would you do that? I can take care of myself very well, you know!” Y/n looked him in the beautiful blue eyes that she fall for. She find them calm and softening despite the fact that they look nothing less than restless as the ocean itself.

“She’s a fucking whore, Y/n! She doesn’t even know who’s the father of that child!” Miguel’s voice suddenly  sounds louder and annoyed and Y/n could do nothing than feel her chin dropping. Miguel is the sweetest person alive and she never saw him losing his temper. Even of the screen, he found it hard to get mad, shout at one of his dearest friends and fake a fight. They don’t usually fight and even when they do, everything is so calmly and calculated. His burst made her step back a little and look at him.  

“That’s not true. Maybe yes, she’s got several boyfriends, but that doesn’t mean she’s a whore.” She felt the need to defend her though they’ve been knowing each other for maybe a few weeks. But how he could talk like that about her?

“I paid to fuck her, Y/n, trust me, I’m not talking in vain!” he shouted and it was too late when he realised the actual words that came out from his mouth.

The house filled with a deafening silence, only the clock’s ticking is animating the place now. Y/n has her eyes fixed on an invisible spot somewhere on the floor, words couldn’t find the way to came to the surface. Her face is blank for the first time tonight and Miguel can’t read any emotion. He could see the bright happiness that was painted on her face the moment Y/n saw him home, slowly fading away and melting with the confusion and anger. He wanted anything, to scream, to cry – well maybe not to cry – to see her face turn red and even see her showing off the disappointment he knows she feels right now. But it’s torturing him to see the woman he loves, standing silent in front of him, thousands of thoughts running through her mind and not knowing what kind of thoughts.

Miguel tried to reach her hand, but she stepped back and looked him in the eyes. She’s not crying, she’s not screaming, she’s just digesting the news with an indescribable calm. Miguel on the other hand, wants to shake her shoulders, to beg her in his knees to talk to him, to kiss her worries away. But he knows best it’s better for the both of them if he wouldn’t cross the line.

“I’m sorry. It’s not like that. It’s-“

“Hold it. I don’t want to hear or see you right now.” Y/n raised her hand and placed it in front of him, blocking the visual contact. Although she interrupted him, he wasn’t mad. At least he received some comunication from her side.

“It was a long time ago, before I even met you.” Miguel tried to explain himself, biting his lower lip desperately before he would find out what could possibly mean the fact that she doesn’t want to see him.

She hasn’t tought properly before she opened her mouth and let those words out. Indeed, Y/n does want some space and some silent place to think and think before she could talk to him again. But here in Madrid she doesn’t have anyone. She’s been out far too few times to know where to go and she’ll get lost immediately. She can’t go anywhere than the little market down the street all by herself and that made her angry.

“It’s fine, Miguel.” she talks softly and delicately squeezed his cheek. “I don’t want to see you right now, ok?” she smiled sweetly at him before sidestepped Miguel and grabbed a bag of gummy bears from the shelf.

Miguel should have shut up from the first place or shouldn’t have let her go that way. He should’ve said something, anything, he should’ve explained her about all that. It was about when he first started to work at the Elite project, it was just a one time thing. He paid for her services one time, when he felt lonely and so pissed that he couldn’t get one specific scene right. But soon enough, Miguel met the girl that changed his mind, the girl what was beside him for the day one and showed him a kind of love he never thought he would ever experience. He doesn’t know if she’s the one, but he does want to make things right. He wants her to be the one.

While he was trying to figure out the best way to explain her everything, Y/n was watching the ceiling with the bag of gummy bears beside and quietly playing on the background some random episode from Elite. She’s not mad at him. It would be stupid for her to be mad for every girl he dated or fucked in the past. She’s just having a hard time, staying to much locked in the house, working and keeping the house, it’s getting her on the verge.

Is she mad at him? Of course she is. He interdicted her to see someone, he’s being unnecessary protective over her and he don’t trust her enough, maybe, to know that she’s not going to did something like that. Is she hurt? Maybe she is. Maybe she is because she doesn’t know if that happened before they met, or after or maybe if it’s still happening.

Maybe she wouldn’t even care if he just fucked her; maybe she would’ve agree to him to not hangout with that girl again if he have had just told her that she’s an ex. But he told her he paid to fuck her. That’s what had shaken her. How could’ve done such thing? It would take just a little bit of respect from him to not buy a girl’s intimate parts. He didn’t treat that girl with the respect she deserved, maybe he’ll treat Y/n with the same lack of respect at some point.

Her eyes are hardly staying open and she can feel her body slowly beginning easy. A soft blast of cold air scattered into the living room and made her curl up on the small white couch. This room is her favorite, all white and black, they are the only people that could bring some colour into it. She loves it because it’s usually her office and every time Miguel enteres the room with a plate of food, it reminds her that the days, however bright or dark, she’s going to have him, the most important colour palette to animate her life.

When he entered the rood after he knocked a little on the door, he found her standing on the couch, her back facing the door and some episode from Elite playing on the TV. He smiled a little at the sight of her admiring his work. Elite is one of her favorite TV show, she watched it three times and never got bored of it, not a single time.

As he silently approached the couch, Miguel saw her beautiful eyes siled and a frowning painted on her angelic face. Although both of them are a restless whirligig spinning around all day, she has the most peaceful and motionless sleep. She’s not moving, and she’s barely breathing; Miguel on his late nights with no sleep, likes to stay as quiet as possible and listen to her quiet breathing. Y/n is an angel moving,is an angel sleeping, is an angel existing.

But he couldn’t just stare at her now, he couldn’t let her sleep on the chilly couch, curled up in a ball to warm herself. He tapped her shoulder repeatedly until Y/n slowly opened her eyes. She looked at him confused, and then it hit her – she fall asleep on the couch.

“Let me get you in bed, amor. Alright?” Miguel wrapped his hands around her little body and carried her through the house. Y/n rested her head on Miguel’s shoulder and slowly but surely she understood that her place is inside his arms.

Y/n is not mad anymore. Y/n is not angry at him, she’s just tired, she’s had a long day and all she wants is to stay inside his arms and fall asleep properly. She loves him very much and wonders every time if he’s the one. Maybe he is, maybe she wants him to be the one. Maybe Y/n and Miguel are made for each other, or maybe she wants to believe that way.

“I’m sorry we fight.” sleepy, she placed a kiss at the base of his neck as he opened the door of their bedroom and placed her gently on the bed.

“I know I am a jerk sometimes. I’m sorry I said that kind of things to you. You can hangout with whatever you want, amor. I am sorry.” he sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her cold body, in trying to warm her. Miguel ran his hands up and down her back as he placed a kiss on Y/n’s forehead.

“It’s okay.” she yawned and sticked closer to his body. “I love you, you know? You are my home. You could’ve told me nicely the reason you don’t want me to hangout with her and I would’ve understood.”

“I know. I am sorry.” he keeps her closer to his body. “I love you too. Very much actually.” he chuckled and rubbed his nose against her neck.

————

tags: @ang-26

[psychcomposer]

Alright, I have too many feelings about a video game that’s going to come out in a month that I really just need to get out. It’s been over a decade and one of my favorite games, The World Ends With You, is finally getting a sequel. I’ve been brooding on the trailers for months, and I just finished the demo, so it is time to put down my capital T Thoughts on Neo: The World Ends With You.

As a warning, this will be entirely too long. But I’m not about to keep this bound up any longer.

TWEWY is my favorite title for the Nintendo DS. It is a JRPG starring Neku Sakuraba, an aggressively antisocial teen living in the Tokyo district of Shibuya. He is suddenly pulled into a test of survival called The Reaper’s Game, where he is forced to join forces with a partner in order to survive a week of lethal objectives in a sub-planar version of Shibuya. I love the story, its such an honest and interesting take on learning to get outside of your comfort zone. But more than that, it is a game that does so much to put a modern twist on every piece of your typical JRPG. You control two characters at once, Neku with the touch screen and his partner with the control pad, forcing you to split your attention and giving mechanic weight to the idea that Neku can’t survive alone. Armor and weapons are replaced with clothes and outfits, with a character’s ability to wear them restricted not by class but by a character’s bravery. The music list is filled with punk, alt-rock and hip-hop that are a stark contrast to the symphonic tracks of other titles. Battles aren’t random impediments, but fun diversions that sport a robust reward system that encourages players to push their limits.

But even more than that, the most modern thing I appreciate about TWEWY has to be the characters. Neku, Shiki, Beat, and Rhyme all feel like believable teens that grew up in the 2000′s. They bicker, clash, and banter like teens struggling to survive and make sense of their situation. One of my favorite little gimicks of the story is just how many nicknames there are for every character. Almost everyone has earned a few nicknames. One of my favorite examples is Sho Minamimoto. He’s a reaper with an obsession with math, often infusing his speech with mathematical jargon or expressions, and seems to enjoy erecting “art installations”, which most people can only decipher as towers of trash. Over the course of the story, he gets called Pi-face, the Grim Heaper, and another nickname I can’t even mention because of spoilers. It’s just... such a nice little human touch, these kids throwing crafted insults at a human enforcer of their doom that could almost certainly tear them apart.

I’m getting into this to try to give a sense of why I enjoy TWEWY so much, why it has such a unique place in my heart. Its a game I’ve 100% completed several times over, a task that’s no easy feat with the sheer amount of collectibles and post-game objectives. Unfortunately, for the last year or two, I’ve been kind of dreading this sequel.

Neo:TWEWY has been... a long time coming. Way back in 2007 they had a whole website counting down to some sort of announcement, with the music slowly building in intensity. I remember following it with bated breath, until it finally hit zero! And we got... An ios port of the game. Talk about a let-down. To be fair, apparently it is a solid port, even managing to re-work the old battle system, one that required a second screen to work properly, into one that only needed one. But what that really offered to someone like me was the hint of a sequel, a single image of a new character being shown. They kept flirting with the idea of bringing the series back. The main cast even featured in a Kingdom Hearts game, of all things, even if they didn’t really do a whole lot. But these acknowledgments grew sparser and sparser.

A few years ago, they released a switch port of the game. Not only that, it included an epilogue! They were finally getting a sequel rolling! Of course I bought that game, beat it yet again, and fought my way to the new content and the hint of the new story ahead.

It was... Well. I found it disappointing.

The gameplay was competent, even if it was clear that the epilogue itself really hadn’t had too much put into it. One new character,  new enemies just being reskins of old ones. It wasn’t meant to be dlc itself or anything, it was just there to herald a return to the series. That wasn’t what bugged me. What bugged me was the writing. It was heart-wrenching. It just didn’t feel right. It just felt flat compared to the story I’d enjoyed so many times. But what really killed my excitement was the new character, Coco.

Now, odd personality quirks are not too unusual among the ensemble of TWEWY. Pi-face is just one of the characters that is so infused with a particular theme that it shows in how they express themselves. It’s part of the charm of them, discovering the personalities that live in this dark underworld of Shibuya. But Coco... she talks like the most stereotypical young teenager possible. unironic lols, totez (yes, spelt exactly like that, in a speech format), OMG’s, and just, like, likes everywhere! It felt like someone who knew they needed to make a quirky character but had no idea how to write one well, and just made the most stereotypical caricature possible. I hated seeing that. It embodied every fear I had about the sequel being just a cynical project, pushed forward after so many years  by people who just didn’t understand what made the original great. That mild dread was so persistent that even the release of the first few trailers couldn’t really get me excited for the game. Neo:TWEWY was shifting into 3d from the original 2.5d, with all the problems that could cause. What I could see of the story felt so much more like a generic fantasy tale with some modern buildings than the story I had grown through my teenage years with. And, well... Just look the original Neku and the new one they showed off.

Look at this. Look at one of the most vibrant, eye-catching character designs on the market for any JRPG in history, one that manages to mix purple and orange with striking lights and darks. And then look at the teenager edgelord bullshit they did with him. It’s atrocious. I hate it. He’s just another guy in a black outfit and just too much fucking cool guy protagonist power to not have the story be about him at this point. And look, I know that there’s Story LoreTM, I know that there could be some twist that explains this, I know that him being such a denial of his old self could be the entire fucking point. But let me tell you, when I saw this, I felt years of shifting, misplaced unease coalesce into a hard lump of dread.

And... Even... So... I did the stupidest thing I could have possibly done and preordered the game anyway. Don’t look at me like that, nostalgia is a hell of a drug.

But you know what? The damnedest thing happened. They released a demo for the new game a month before its release. And I played it, and... I enjoyed it.

Did you see that coming? I certainly didn’t. Welcome to the roller coaster.

Right off the bat, the writing soothed a lot of the fears I had. It felt right at home, like being plopped between to teens exchanging banter. One of the first exchanges is Rindo and Fret, his best friend, trying to meet up. Fret wants Rindo to meet him at  someplace called Wunafo, an area Rindo is clueless about. After some annoyed texting, it turns out Fret is actually referring to 104, a local landmark of a building. Fret insists that its a stylish improvement on the name. Rindo only gives him some grief about it..

I’m not doing the scene justice, or I could just be really desperate for half-decent writing, but I can’t deny that it quickly put a smile on my face. I am almost sure I’ve had this conversation before in years past myself. And beyond that, this game boasts voice acting that brings out a ton of personality in the large cast they are introducing (besides Rindo, which is a shame because he’s the protagonist... hopefully he gets over his apathetic teenager shtick eventually). Not everything is voiced, but it conveys so much appeal and personality, and even when the character’s aren’t voiced there is a conversation screen that occasionally breaks out some stylish layouts to convey mood and temperment and clearly draw from the style that made the original game pop so much.

The battles, of course, have been completely revamped. TWEWY had you control two characters, one of which you could customize by equipping up to 6 different pins that all used different motions and unleashed different attacks. Now you control up to four characters, but each one can only use one pin. But even so, it feels very genuine to its roots. An effective build in TWEWY was usually one that let you stagger an opponent so you can unload a bunch of attacks on them, and in Neo:TWEWY the game actively pushes you to folllow up attacks with characters in succession. It would be easy for this to devolve into a mash-fest, but even with the little time I had with the game it introduced a wrinkle in that- an attack that unleashed a single powerful blow, but couldn’t just be unleashed at the end of the previous combo. It needed to be charged for a while, long enough for the combo timer to deplete. So now an effective combo requires thinking ahead, and even after that you’re paying attention to enemies to dodge out of the way when they strike back. It’s entirely possible this system will flop in the late game, but so far it is robust enough for me to think that it will be one that could make me look forward to battles.

The music hasn’t impressed me so far, besides the tracks that have made the transition from the original. But I remember those strange tracks needing some time before I appreciated them too.

Finally, the story has hooked me. I don’t think that needs much more explanation. I want to see more of these characters and see the changes that have been made to the world in what I assume is years after Neku’s game. And to address the elephant in the room, Neku has not made his appearance in what is available in the demo. Odds are I will probably hate whatever they do with him. But there is enough happening in the space around it that I’m interested in exploring, and a bruised apple can still taste sweet.

Almost all of this, of course, is mostly just saying that Neo:TWEWY is not doomed to fail. There is still plenty of room for things to go wrong later on. There are entire systems I haven’t really seen in game, like shops, pin evolution, clothing and food (Though it looks like they have changed the food system significantly, which I approve of). The things that unnerved me so much in the trickle of information after this game’s announcement could still be enough to turn this sour. But I’m smiling as I’m strapping myself in for this ride now, one I’ve waited quite a long time for. Whatever’s coming, I’m excited.

[hutchhitched]

Too Familiar (Part 10)

Happy Monday, Everlarkers! While I was hoping to get this chapter to you sooner than this, I’m really excited that it’s finally done. This is the last full chapter of Too Familiar, and a short epilogue will post next Monday, August 3 to wrap up the story. You can also read the story on AO3. For those of you reading it on tumblr, the rest of the story can be found here. I love hearing from you, so feel free to send me your thoughts.

Trigger warning: mature themes (including infidelity and minor character death).

____________

  “Mama Kat, when’s Dad going to be home?” Elam asked as he tossed his keys on the counter. She grinned when he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

 “Hunter’s Little League game should be over in an hour or so,” she answered as she cut a pear into thin slices. “Probably pretty soon after that. Everything okay?”

 “Yeah. Just wanted to talk to him about graduation,” he said as he buried his head in the fridge and then emerged with a sports drink.

 Katniss swallowed hard and stilled her suddenly shaky hands. No matter how much she knew logically that time had passed, she couldn’t convince herself that Elam, the sweet boy she’d met so many years ago when her relationship with Peeta was rocky and unsure, was graduating from college in a few weeks.

 “Anything I can help with?” she asked, her voice unsteady and wavering.

 Her stepson shook his head, and she dropped her eyes to the counter. Madge wasn’t a common topic of conversation in the house. For everyone’s sake, they avoided mentioning her as much as possible. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean Peeta’s ex-wife was far from anyone’s mind. Elam’s graduation would be the first time they’d all be together since he’d graduated from high school, and Katniss squelched the anxiety that bubbled in the pit of her stomach.

 “Just trying to figure everything out,” he mumbled before heading into the living room and plopping in front of the TV.

 She almost asked him if he planned to stay for dinner, but she didn’t want to risk upsetting him. Elam rightly loved his mother, and Katniss had no desire to come in between them. She was content to be his dad’s wife, the mother to his half-siblings, and Mama Kat. Never his mother. Not the person who’d raised him from birth and had never remarried. The most Katniss could hope for was to stay in the shadows when the family gathered together and hope for the best. After all, each of them were adults, and there hadn’t been a blow up for such a long time. Madge seemed to have forgiven them as much as possible for their affair, and Peeta had long since apologized and groveled for his transgressions. More than anything, Katniss had worked really hard to be a good wife and build a solid foundation for their kids, including Elam. If nothing else, the three children enjoyed a home with a deeply loving, committed relationship at its center—no matter how terrible the beginning.

 Dinner was almost ready when the door burst open and Hunter bolted down the hall and threw himself against her stomach. Jasmine followed behind, twirling her hair around her finger with a bored expression plastered across her face. Her daughter was the very picture of teenage angst and spending the evening with her dad and kid brother wasn’t on her “cool” list.

 “Hi, sweetheart,” her husband said as he entered the room, his bulk taking up a considerable amount of space. Peeta kissed her cheek and tossed the groceries he’d picked up on the way home onto the counter. “Tiny, baby, can you help me put this away? Hunter, shower and change. Dinner’s almost ready.”

 “Daaaaaaaaad…”

 “Momma, dinner is soon?”

 She grinned at Peeta addressing her as a mom. It still thrilled her that she’d given him two wonderful children—in spite of how much they sometimes drove her up the wall. “Very soon.”

 Peeta pressed his side to hers as he emptied the grocery bags and handed the food to their daughter. The contact promised things to come after bedtime, and Katniss blushed slightly at the thought of them making love. They were intimate much less frequently than they had been earlier in their relationship, but she craved the physical connection that they’d been unable to deny when they were younger. Peeta didn’t last as long as he used to, and she wasn’t nearly as flexible as she’d been years before. Even so, they still managed to find release in each other’s arms as often as possible—even if that wasn’t nearly frequently enough.

 “Elam’s here,” she muttered under her breath. “He wants to talk about graduation with you. Probably figuring out how to stagger us with Madge so nothing happens.”

 “I’ll talk to him,” he promised. “After dinner. We don’t have many more opportunities to have all of us together anymore. It’ll be worse once he starts his job.”

 Peeta did as he promised. They sat down together for dinner, and everyone (even Tiny) filled the others in on the highlights of the past week. As Katniss readied Hunter for bed, started the laundry, and set the alarm so she and Peeta wouldn’t be late for work the next day, Peeta talked to Elam in the living room, their voices low and rumbling for almost an hour. She was in the middle of preparing for bed when Peeta slipped into their bedroom and came up behind her.

 “You’re still so gorgeous,” he said as his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back against him. His lips roamed her neck, and she arched her back when he rubbed his groin against her ass. “I need you tonight, Kat. It’s been a week. My dick’s gonna fall off, and my balls are going to shrivel up and disappear.”

 She snorted at his hyperbole. It had been several days since they’d had sex, but he was hardly going to die from it. She’d jacked him off one morning as he brushed his teeth, and she knew he masturbated in the shower almost every day.

“You poor baby,” she teased as she ground back against him and braced herself on their bureau. “How will you ever survive without getting laid?”

 “Thankfully, I’ll never have to find out.”

 “That’s so true,” she breathed and spread her legs.

 He grunted as he penetrated her, thick and heavy as he pushed into her from behind. His hands cupped her breasts as he rocked his hips until he was buried deep inside her. When she shivered, his right hand dropped lower and stroked her nub until she whined in the back of her throat.

 She knew they needed to be quiet. Their teenage daughter and pre-teen son didn’t need to hear their parents fucking so loudly they woke everyone on the block, but it was hard to keep her pleasure quiet when her husband impaled her on his dick so hard she was constantly balanced on her tiptoes and rubbed her clit so hard her arousal leaked out around his cock.

 “God, I love you,” he growled against her temple. “I love you so much. So much…”

 “Peeta,” she panted before she turned to begging. “Peeta, give it to me. Please.”

 He came then, spurting warm and thick inside her, and she reveled in the way he broke against her. His muscles locked, and he lost lucidity as he babbled and panted and grunted. She wasn’t much better. Her knees buckled, and she stumbled when she tried to walk.

 “You know, that was a lot easier when we were younger,” she teased. “Somehow, we got old.”

 Peeta chuckled as he tugged a pair of boxers over his hips. “We’re not in our thirties anymore.”

 “We’re not even in our forties,” she scoffed and frowned at the gray hairs that peppered her dark braid.

 “Older and wiser, I guess.”

 She grinned as he climbed into bed, and she cuddled up against him. “We’ve come a long way. It’s almost liked we figured out how to be in love or something.”

 “Love wasn’t ever the problem, sweetheart. I’ve always loved you. Even when I was stupid and married to someone else and treated you terribly, I always loved you more than I’ve loved anything else. I’m so glad we stuck this out, Katniss,” he murmured sleepily. “I’m so lucky you loved me back.”

 “How could I help it?” she yawned. When he didn’t answer, she closed her eyes and slept.

 They woke the next morning sore and exhausted, and that continued each day as they prepared for Elam’s graduation. Nervous, Katniss reached out to Madge and offered her help in arranging the party. Surprisingly, her husband’s ex-wife asked her to come over to discuss the plans.

 When she knocked on the door, Katniss shifted from foot to foot. The two women hadn’t seen each other for so long, Katniss wasn’t sure what to expect and internally berated herself for reaching out to the other woman voluntarily. Things had gone well enough between the two of them for so long, she hated to rock the boat, but she supposed her stepson’s college graduation was enough of an event warranting the two meet face to face.

 “Katniss,” Madge said when she opened the door, “come in.”

 Peeta’s ex-wife looked older since they’d seen each other last. Madge’s face was gaunt and hollow with sunken eyes and pale skin that was just on the wrong side of porcelain. Instead, her coloring edged toward sickly. As Katniss entered the house, she didn’t miss the almost imperceptible shaking of Madge’s hands.

 “I have to say, I wasn’t sure you’d want my help,” Katniss said carefully as she moved through the entryway and perched on the side of the couch. “I’m glad we can agree that Elam’s happiness is worth any uncomfortableness of our own.”

 Madge smiled wanly and motioned to the pitcher of iced tea on the coffee table. “Help yourself. I don’t have much energy today, so…”

 “Are you okay?” Katniss asked quietly. “I know I haven’t seen you for a while, but you seem a little off.”

 A flash of anger flitted across Madge’s face, and Katniss dropped her gaze to the tray of refreshments. The last thing she wanted to do was upset the other woman, but Madge did look much more peaked than Katniss had ever seen her.

 “I’m…” Madge waved her left hand vaguely in the air, and Katniss sat back with a glass in her hand. “I’m feeling a little under the weather. Have been for a while, but I need to get through this graduation before I can worry about that. After all, Elam’s the apple of my eye—all our eyes, isn’t he? We’ll put on a brave face and pretend everything’s okay.”

 “Is everything okay?”

 “Sure,” Madge insisted, but her face betrayed her inner thoughts. “Sure, everything’s just delightful.”

 “Madge, I know we’re not the best of friends or anything, but it’s obvious something’s going on. I’m happy to listen if you—”

 “If I need to confide in someone? If I need to share my innermost thoughts and vulnerabilities with the woman who stole my husband almost twenty years ago? I mean, it’s been so long, why would it matter now? Surely, we can just let bygones be bygones, right?”

 Katniss pursed her lips at the other woman’s sarcasm. It wasn’t pleasant, but she knew better than to rise to the bait. Madge had invited her over, after all, so there was a reason she wanted her here.

 “I’m not expecting anything. Just offering to listen if you have something to say.”

 “I don’t really need help with Elam’s party,” Madge admitted. “You’re welcome here, of course. Elam adores you—even if it makes me squirm a little.”

 “Okay?”

 “Katniss, I’m sick.”

 “Do you want me to leave so you can go to bed?”

 Madge shook her head. “Not that kind of sick.”

 “Oh,” Katniss answered lamely, her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth. “I’m so sorry.”

 “I have cancer. Ovarian. It’s stage four. The prognosis is…” Her voice trails off, and Katniss twists her hands as her insides mirror the action. “Well, it’s not good.”

 Katniss cursed under her breath and blinked back sudden tears. There was certainly no love lost between them, but this was beyond anything she’d imagined. She’d expected Madge to be a part of her life as long as she lived.

 “Have you—have you tired chemo? Radiation?” When Madge shook her head, Katniss added, “Drug trials? Anything?”

 “The doctor says it’s too late. It’s metastasized— It’s— It’s too late.”

 “We’ll get a second opinion,” Katniss insisted. “We’ll figure something out.”

 “I’ve already done that.”

 “Then a third,” Katniss argued, frantic with anxiety.

 “Katniss, no,” Madge said softly. “I’ve made my peace with it. It’s why I invited you over.”

 “What’s why you invited me over? I thought I was—” Her voice broke, and she stared at the other woman.

 “I’m dying,” Madge insisted. “There’s no stopping this. It’s going to happen, and it’s terrible and shitty and awful, but it’s happening. Elam deserves to graduate without this overshadowing his accomplishment. I’ll tell him after. Once he’s gotten settled in his new job, I’ll break it to him, but right now isn’t the time.”

 Katniss nodded, unable to speak. She pressed her hand to her mouth because she was positive she’d scream if she dropped it.

 “As much as I hate to admit this, you’ve been a really good mom to Elam. A good wife to Peeta. Despite how it all started, I’m glad my boys are happy, and I know you’ll be strong for them when I go.”

 Katniss choked back a sob and shook her head. “This is absurd. This can’t be happening.”

 “It’s happening.”

 “No! No, it’s not,” Katniss snapped. “You’re supposed to hate me. I slept with your husband while you were married. I blew him when you were pregnant. I had an affair with him when you were a new mother. You’re supposed to loathe me, not expect me to replace you when you—”

 “When I die,” Madge whispered.

 “You’re not dying!” Katniss screamed, all attempts at control lost. “You’re not fucking dying.”

 Madge’s eyes welled with tears, and Katniss had to bite her cheek to stop herself from another outburst.

 “I am. I don’t want to. I don’t want to miss Elam finding himself, getting married, becoming an adult, a father, everything I ever wanted for him, but I am going to miss it. And Katniss,” Madge paused and swallowed hard. “Katniss, you cannot tell Peeta. Not yet. I have to talk to him myself because he has to be ready when I tell my son. Our son. All of ours.”

 “You can’t ask me to do that,” Katniss croaked. “You cannot expect me to lie to my husband. To Peeta. We’ve always been honest with each other.”

 Madge shot her a withering look, and Katniss cringed in response. Honesty wasn’t exactly the foundation stone of her marriage, and the woman in front of her knew that better than anyone.

 “You don’t have to lie for long. Not like in the past or anything. He’s graduating in a week.”

 “That wasn’t called for.”

 Madge sighed and raised a trembling hand to her forehead. “You’re right. You’re right. That wasn’t fair.”

 Silence stretched between them for several seconds. Madge sat with her eyes closed, breathing quietly and pressing her lips together to keep from crying. Katniss stared at her feet, unable to process the coming loss for their family. Because that’s what Madge was as much as Katniss had tried to ignore it. She was part of Peeta’s family, and, therefore, part of hers. More importantly, she was Elam’s mother, and her sweet stepson was going to lose his mother in the months to come.

 “I need to rest. Maybe it’s time for you to go.”

 Katniss nodded quickly and rose clumsily. It felt like the walls were closing in, and she needed air. She had to figure out how to get through the next few days without lying to her husband, without him seeing right through her and figuring out something was wrong.

 “Madge…” she rasped and looked at her former nemesis. “I—”

 The two women locked gazes as their eyes blurred with tears. Katniss reached for Madge’s hand, and the other woman stretched up and grasped her fingers tightly before dropping her arm.

 “Take care of my baby. Promise.”

 “I promise,” she breathed and broke for the door. Halfway home she pulled over and bawled at the unfairness of it all. For Elam losing his mother. For the pain she and Peeta had caused Madge. For the guilt in their marriage. For the broken relationships and lost time and mistakes and everything wrong.

 The rest of the week dragged. Katniss brushed off Peeta’s advances with promises that they’d reconnect “later” and “after Elam’s had his day” and a million other excuses that felt as wrong as Madge’s prognosis. Clearly frustrated, Peeta huffed and pouted, but she ignored him until he stopped.

 “I haven’t been this celibate since Tiny was born,” he teased the night before Elam’s graduation, and she shook her head and snorted.

 “I think you’ll probably pull through, Mellark. It’s been a while since I’ve had to tell you to keep it in your pants, too, but here we are.”

 He chuckled as he put his arms around her and drew her to his chest. “Can you believe my son is graduating from college tomorrow?”

 “No,” she mumbled, “I can’t.” It wasn’t lost on her that he’d said Elam was his, not theirs. Not the way Madge had included Katniss in her son’s life only a few days prior.

 “You realize what him graduating means, right?” he asked as he nuzzled her neck.

 “What’s that?”

 “That it’s been twenty-two years since I first ate you out,” he whispered in her ear as his hand dipped between her legs.

 “Peeta,” she warned as he nudged against her skin.

 “Lie down for me, sweetheart. Please.”

 “Peeta, no,” she whined, but it wasn’t any use.

 “Katniss, yes,” he insisted as he walked them backward and situated her on the edge of their bed. He dropped to his knees in front of her and tugged down her sleep shorts before spreading her legs and kissing up the inside of her thighs. When his lips met her slick heat, she closed her eyes and drove everything from her mind but the feel of her husband’s mouth on her pussy.

 “Oh, fuck,” she hissed as she twisted the sheets in her fists.

 Peeta moved slowly, deliberately, methodically. His tongue swept into her slit and licked and nipped for what felt like hours. Swirls coupled with penetration and heated breaths chased desperate groans and haggard breaths from her body until she was begging. Her back arched off the bed when he wiggled his tongue inside her and then pulled away. He blew softly on her wet lips and then buried his face into her again. He repeated the process, over and over, until she writhed under him. When he curved two fingers inside her as he sucked on her clit, she bowed and snapped. She tugged his hair as she shoved his face closer to her and wrapped her legs around his head. His tongue flicked her repeatedly as she came and then came some more. Katniss rolled her head from side to side as he continued to work her with his fingers and mouth. It felt too good to do anything but bask in the endorphins.

 As she floated, she heard the distinctive sound of skin slapping, and she realized Peeta was jerking off as he kissed along her slit. She moaned and ground against his face. His pace quickened while she twitched under him, and it was only a few more moments before he stood up and leaned over her.

 “I’m gonna come,” he grunted, and she drew him over her. Her hand wrapped around his, and he shouted her name. Hot stripes covered her breasts and face seconds before he collapsed on top of her. She wiggled against him, smearing his ejaculate across their bodies. With a tortured grumble, he licked himself off her face before kissing her deeply. She sucked the taste of herself off his tongue until he pulled away and started laughing.

 “God damn.” His breathing was ragged against her neck, and she grinned when his thumb flicked her nipple.

 “You just can’t help yourself, can you?” she teased. “Even when I push you away, you figure out a way to weasel your way back into my good graces.”

 “If by good graces you mean your pussy, then yes,” he answered with a broad smile. “I love you so much, Katniss. All these years later, and I still can’t get enough of you. Worth every hardship. Every dirty look. Every snide comment and brushoff. I’d choose you again every time,” he promised with a gentle kiss. “Every. Single. Time.”

 Katniss bit her lips, but the tears came anyway. Overcome with emotion, she shook her head when he asked her what was wrong. Instead, she curled into his arms, sticky and sated, and fell asleep with her tears washing his chest.

 She was still emotional the next morning when they woke and prepared for the graduation. She cried as Elam crossed the stage, and she teared up when she and Peeta gave Madge an awkward farewell. Peeta looked at her quizzically when his ex-wife squeezed her hand before they left.

“Okay, sweetheart,” he announced as they walked in the door, “Elam’s graduated, Tiny’s at work, and Hunter is at a sleepover. We’re alone in this house for the first time in ages. It’s time for you to spill it. What the hell is going on? You’ve been acting weird for a week.”

 “I haven’t been acting weird.”

 “Katniss, you haven’t said no to sex that many times since before Elam was born and we were still pretending we weren’t doing anything wrong just giving each other hand jobs and sucking each other off.”

 It was exactly the wrong thing for him to say, and she sank onto the couch with a deep pain in her gut. She’d forgiven herself so long ago for their affair, but Madge’s illness brought forth all the old guilt and pain she’d repressed for the past two decades. Her marriage with Peeta had weathered a million obstacles—cheating, parental disapproval, a blended family, a workplace romance, raising kids, and self-loathing—but she’d never imagined she’d be back where she was the night Madge went into labor and all hell had broken loose. She’d been convinced then that Madge’s emergency C-section and brush with death had been her punishment for tempting Peeta during his marriage, but the cancer diagnosis… It didn’t make sense that Madge was the one with the death sentence when Katniss had been the one sucking the cock of a married man.

 “Nothing’s wrong.”

 “Katniss Everdeen Mellark,” he barked. “I know you better than you know yourself. Tell me.”

 “It’s not my story to tell,” she insisted and moved to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. “You’ll have to wait until she tells you herself.”

 He followed her and surveyed her with curious eyes. When she refused to speak, he sighed and ran a finger through his curls that still fell over his forehead, even if they were a little bit receded from where they’d been when they’d met. He looked tired and beaten down, and she longed to smooth out the wrinkles in his brow and the laugh lines around his eyes.

 “It’s something with Madge.”

 “Peeta, I really can’t say anything.”

 “Fine,” he snapped. “Just forget it.”

 “Peeta,” she started, but he cut her off before she could get any farther.

 “I think I’m going to meet up with Finnick. I’ll see you later.”

 She stood with her mouth hanging open as he stormed from the house. She heard the car start and drive away before she was willing to believe he’d left. It was another twenty minutes before she admitted defeat and changed into old sweats and a stretched out t-shirt.

 Three glasses of wine later, she was halfway through a horror movie when the front door opened.

She expected Tiny or Peeta, but it was Elam, face pale and eyes red-rimmed as she stood in the hallway.

 “Oh, honey,” she said softly and held out her arms to him.

 “Mama Kat,” Elam gulped. “My mama’s sick.”

 “Baby,” she whispered and wrapped him in her arms.

 The minutes ticked by as her stepson wept in her arms. Tiny returned and quietly escaped to her room when she saw her older brother crying. Sometime after midnight, Peeta slipped through the door and wobbled toward them. When Katniss shook her head, he stumbled down the hall and left them alone. In the middle of the night, she shifted Elam onto the couch and covered him with a blanket. With a kiss on his forehead, she turned and headed down the hall to her bedroom.

 She expected Peeta to be asleep, but she wasn’t prepared for his bare ass to greet her when she walked into the room. He was completely naked, passed out and snoring. A bottle of lube was on the nightstand, and a soiled towel was on the floor on his side of the bed. For all the moments she’d loved her husband, her stomach turned at the sight of him. On the very night his firstborn needed comfort, he’d gotten drunk and jacked off while his son bawled in her arms.

 Just as suddenly, a wave of sympathy and guilt flooded through her. Peeta had no idea his life was about to change dramatically again. He had no clue his first wife was dying, and his oldest child was about to lose his mother. On top of that, she’d lied to him about what was wrong. When Peeta heard the news, he’d have to deal with the shock of Madge’s terminal illness and his wife’s…betrayal, or whatever it was she’d done by hiding the truth.

 She woke late the next morning to gritty eyes and the smell of coffee. Peeta wasn’t in bed, so she grabbed her robe and stumbled to the kitchen as she twisted her hair into a messy braid. Her husband sat at the bar next to Elam, both with slumped shoulders and untouched cups of coffee in front of them.

 “What am I going to do, Dad?” Elam asked, his voice ragged and weary.

 Katniss held her breath, but Peeta offered advice she wished she’d thought of the night before when Elam and wept on her shoulder.

 “You’re going to live your life,” he insisted. “Your mother and I both love you so much, and we’re so proud of you. Mama Kat and your brother and sister and I are all here for you. We’ll always be here for you, and we’ll be your family once your mom is gone. You’re a good man, Elam, and your mom is always going to be with you, no matter what happens. She’s raised you so well, son.”

 His voice broke then, and Katniss moved into the room to lay her hand on her husband’s shoulder. He turned to her and pulled her close as tears clung to his lashes. Elam pushed his cup of coffee away and announced that he was going to spend the day with his mother.

 “You knew,” Peeta accused as soon as the door closed behind Elam. Shoving himself away from her, he looked at her with fire in his eyes and spat, “You knew, and that’s why you kept shoving me away last week.”

 “Peeta, I—”

 “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

 “Madge made me promise not to. It was her news, not mine, and I didn’t want to break her trust. Not after everything I’d already done to her.”

 “You mean, not after fucking her husband while she was at home with a newborn? Not when we were screwing each other when I was going to therapy with her? When you rode my face the night before Elam was born? I’m your husband, Katniss, and we’re not supposed to have any secrets from each other! Not after everything we’ve been through to be together.”

 “I didn’t—”

 “What do you mean?” a strangled voice asked from the hallway, and they both turned to find a stricken Elam gaping at them. Peeta rose quickly and took a step toward him.

 “Son—”

 “What do you mean?” Elam repeated. “You were— You told me things started after… Oh my God. Oh my God! You were cheating on Mom? You lied to me?”

 Katniss held her breath. They were on a precipice, and their decision to withhold the truth from Elam suddenly seemed like a terrible idea. Madge had agreed only because she wanted to be spared the humiliation of knowing her son was aware of the affair, but now the walls crumbled around them.

 “I can explain,” Peeta said, but Elam backed away from them, his face a mask of disgust and fury.

 “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want anything from you!” he yelled.

 “Elam, stop!” Peeta cried, but it was too late. Elam was out the door, his tires squealing as he pealed out of the driveway and sped down the street.

 Peeta stood outside for several minutes before returning to the house. Katniss watched as his shoulders fell and he plodded up the front steps and walked through the door. He was clearly shell-shocked, pale with red-rimmed eyes and a haunted look in his eyes. Katniss stood quietly, afraid to make a move until he indicated he was ready for her comfort, if that was something she was even able to provide. Peeta’s relationship with his oldest child had always been something only they understood.

 “This can’t be happening,” he finally gasped and doubled over. “I’ve lost him.”

 She rushed to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. Helping him to the couch, she steadied him as he collapsed into the cushions. Silent tears streaked down his face, and she clutched his hand, gripping it with a ferocity she hadn’t realized she could muster since she’d finally believed Peeta was really hers.

 Except he wasn’t exactly. Yes, he was her husband, but he was also Elam’s father and Madge’s ex. He was her children’s dad and his parent’s child. He was a brother and a friend and an employee. He was hers as much as anyone she hadn’t birthed could be, but there were parts of him she’d never be able to understand, and this seemed to be one of them. As much as she loved Elam, he had never really been hers either, so how could she comprehend the loss Peeta felt as he watched his firstborn flee?

 Things didn’t improve over the next few weeks. Calls to Elam went unanswered, and Madge’s condition worsened rapidly. Both Katniss and Peeta wanted to be there for her, but Madge insisted there was nothing they could do. She asked them to give her space to be with her son, who refused to be in the same room with his father.

 “I promise I’ll make time for you to see me,” she promised, but the days passed with no invitation to visit.

 “She’s going to die without letting us see her,” Peeta said one night, hopeless and broken. “I should have done this earlier. I should have worked harder to repair things with her instead of settling for an unspoken truce. And now…”

 “Now, it’s about Madge and not us. She’s the one dying, and she gets to make the rules now. We get to make her last days as comfortable and stress free as possible,” Katniss suggested gently. “She knows we’re sorry for hurting her. We can’t do anything else now. It’s in the past, and she’s accepted that.”

 Peeta lifted his stricken face to hers and whispered, “When she’s gone, I’ll lose every tie I have to my son. He���ll never forgive me once she’s dead. I don’t know that I’ll ever forgive myself either.”

 Katniss swallowed the pain, too terrified to answer, too scared to admit her husband might be right. That Madge’s death would mean losing a part of their relationship that had defined them since the beginning. That Elam would walk away after his mother’s death and refuse to acknowledge them after learning of their betrayal.

 “Madge will call for us, and Elam will come around. He’s hurting right now, and we need to let him know we’re here for him without pressuring him to respond. All we can do now is love him and trust that he’ll believe us when he needs that support.”

 Unfortunately, Elam didn’t seem interested in accepting anything from any of them. As Madge grew weaker, he stopped responding to their children as well. As much as Katniss understood the anger her stepson must be harboring, it hurt her more than she could stand to see her children confused that their brother had disappeared from their lives.

 Madge made arrangements for them to visit on Tuesday and Friday afternoons, and Peeta left work early both days to make the most of the time he’d been granted. Katniss joined him when Haymitch learned of their situation and allowed them leave for a family illness. Peeta sat at Madge’s bedside and held her hand. They kept up a steady stream of conversation, reminiscing about their high school and college days when they’d been young and in love, before Peeta had met Katniss and Madge realized her marriage was failing. They talked about their son and his accomplishments, and Peeta broke down when Madge admitted she’d urged their child to forgive his father.

 Katniss watched sadly, heartbroken that they’d wasted so much time in anger and hurt. Madge was funny and smart, self-deprecating and kind, but most of all she forgave them graciously every time the subject of their affair surfaced.

 “I don’t have time to hold a grudge anymore,” she said softly. “You love each other more than we ever could, Peeta. You deserve to be happy. Stop punishing yourself for something you wouldn’t change, and don’t give up on our son.”

 It surprised Katniss that the visits with Madge became a solace to both her and Peeta as the other woman weakened. Elam never allowed himself to be seen, but it was comforting to know their son was safe and loved and an active part of Madge’s final days. Peeta offered to help with arrangements for memorial and burial, but Madge declined. She and Elam had made the arrangements, and she urged them to accept his wishes.

 “But Madge,” Peeta begged, “I should help him with this. You both deserve to be supported through this.”

 “But that’s not what Elam wants, and I want what makes him happy. He’s an adult now. You have to let him come to you when he’s ready.”

 In the end, they agreed to Madge’s requests and allowed mother and son to spend as much time together making decisions and sharing memories as possible. The days ticked by, and Madge lingered, frail and fading, far longer than any of them expected. Still, it was too soon when the call inevitably came. They were at home, watching the late news after the kids’ bedtimes, when the phone rang. They exchanged looks before Peeta answered. He spoke softly into the phone for a few minutes before he hung up and turned to face her.

 “She’s gone.”

 “Elam?”

 “No. That was the funeral director. Elam didn’t want to talk to us.”

 “When is it?”

 “The day after tomorrow. We’ve been asked not to attend.”

 The words hung between them for several moments, both smarting from the sting.

 “That’s not what Madge would have wanted,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

 “No,” he replied wryly, “but she’s gone, and now Elam gets to make the decision.”

 “Peeta, honey.” She reached out to him, but he shook his head.

 “I need to be alone for a while. I’m sorry.”

 She waited until well past midnight, but he didn’t return. At work the next morning, he was quiet and withdrawn, and he barely said anything to her at home. He loved on their kids and tucked them into bed but barely kissed her goodnight. That continued until the day of the memorial service, and, although they didn’t attend, he sat vigil during the time others paid tribute to his ex-wife. The distance grew between them for weeks, until one day he turned to her and she said, “You came back.”

 Slowly, and with many lost days, they grew back together. Their home life stabilized, and they raised their daughter and son to smile and dance and laugh. They celebrated milestones and loved each other unconditionally, but there was always an empty seat where Elam should have been.

 Year after year after year passed without him.

[babybluebanshee]

Things I’ve had to deal with as a city librarian, pt. who even knows anymore

Some of these are because Covid makes everyone’s lives a little harder. Others are just weirdos being weirdos. 

But they’re all equally baffling.

- The library has a mask mandate. You either wear one the entire time you’re in the building, or you leave. It’s that simple. The amount of people who fight us on this is staggering. One lady accused me of trying to force her into a panic attack for whatever reason, and then told me she’d have me fired because she was going to complain to the city coordinator. I didn’t feel like telling her the city coordinator was the one who wrote the policy about masks. She’d figure it out.

- We have a basket of disposable masks by all the doors for people to take if they don’t have one or forget theirs. A guy (already wearing a mask, mind) came in, grabbed all the masks out of one of the baskets, flipped through them like they were a deck of cards, then stuck them back in the basket. Then he locked eyes with me to let me know he’d done it on purpose. We had to throw them all away. 

- We haven’t been putting out the newspapers we’re subscribed to, because we don’t really have a way to effectively and properly sanitize them when patrons are done with them. A guy came in wanting to read them, and when we explained to him why they weren’t out, he turned red in the face, telling us that was unacceptable and he demanded we give him the papers. The director decided to let him have them, and we’d just quarantine them when he was finished, so we asked him which ones he wanted. He wanted all the papers from the day we closed to that current day. We closed back in March. This was happening June. He spent maybe fifteen minutes looking through this huge stack of newspapers, gave them back, and didn’t even fucking thank us.

- We had all eight seasons of Game of Thrones on DVD, and they’ve always been really popular. There was one woman who was absolutely obsessed with them. Every week, she’d check some out, then out another on reserve so it would be ready when she brought the one she had back. When other people would put them on reserve and she had to wait, she’d get angry because she put it on reserve! Why wasn’t it there yet?! And she never watched the seasons in order. She’d start with season two, then skip to season six, then back to one, then to four, and when she’d cycled through them? She’d start over. It was a little unsettling how into it she was.

- A girl, probably about eleven or twelve, came in with what I can only describe as the world’s worst grandma. The old biddy was insanely dismissive of everything the kid showed interest in. The kid spotted some graphic novels and mentioned how much she like reading them, and the grandma scoffed and was like “You mean you like looking at the pictures.” The kid mentioned the Goosebumps series and grandma goes, “Ugh, those books are terrible, pick something else. Something good.” We introduced a book box for teens recently, and when the kid saw the sign for that, she sounded interested. Grandma just went, “That’s stupid. Why don’t you pick your own books? And crafts are for children.” To the girl’s credit, she didn’t seem to let the sour old bitch get to her, but I came very close to just smacking the her several times. 

- The not-like-other-girls girl made another appearance recently. She was wearing a cape. Our IT guy was working on the computer behind the desk that day, and when he saw that, he looked at her, then looked at me like the most confused puppy. Honestly, I don’t even care that she was wearing the cape, because capes are the height of fashion and function and we should bring those bitches back. What bothered me is that it was clearly a cheap polyester thing you get in dollar store Halloween costumes. If you’re gonna be a weird in public, at least shill out for velvet. 

- Speaking of our IT guy, there was a day when our entire computer network went down for the majority of the day. It worked for about fifteen minutes after we opened, then just...stopped. We had to write up check outs by hand, we couldn’t pull reserves, and we couldn’t use the OPAC. None of the patron computers were working either. Our poor IT guy was there from 10:15 to three in the afternoon, trying to fix it, and he STILL couldn’t get them all running. It was absolute mayhem. 

- Ever since we added an Adult Fiction Graphic Novel section, we’ve had more and more people complaining about them. Mostly its parents who don’t actually, like, pay attention to what their children check out and assume comic book = equal child friendly (like the woman who let her ten year old check out Lock and Key and was horrified to realize it contains huge amounts of gore, violence, and sexual content, despite that big AF sticker on the side). An equally big section are the Christian warriors who see the horror and crime comics and are absolutely scandalized on children’s behalf, because what if a child SEES that! Despite the fact they’re in their own section, a section which is nowhere near the kid’s area. One woman found one on the new books shelf objectionable, so she covered it with other stuff. As soon as she left, I went out and rearranged it do it was the only cover you could see. Because I’m a petty bitch.

- The museum saga continues! If you’ll recall from a few posts ago, the museum is a consistent pain in our collective ass for well over a year and a half, taking over half our genealogy room to prove to the city they could run the operation without help and get money to refurbish a historical house.  Well...no one has been in the museum at all since about November of last year. It was supposed to be open every Saturday from 10 to 2, and we haven’t seen hide nor hair of anyone who runs the damn thing. We normally wouldn’t care about it...but people who have temporarily donated stuff to them are starting to show up to reclaim it, and can’t get it out, because the museum staff has the key to the display cases. And we can’t get ahold of any of them. Every time we think we’ve found the right person to talk to about letting people have their stuff back, they say “Oh, no, so-and-so took over that, I have no idea about any of it.” So, they’ve got tons of stuff that does no belong to them, tucked away in locked cases that no one can get into, and everyone is big mad about it. This is pretty much exactly what we expected to happen.

- One of my former coworkers just...stopped showing up to work. She didn’t come in for a shift, and everyone tried contacting her, but she wouldn’t pick up. We tried to check her Facebook (because a few of us were friends with her), but she’d blocked all of us. We didn’t know what happened to her for weeks. Then, one day, another of my coworkers came in and said they’d been to the doctor to get some blood work done, and the former coworker was in the opposite room, drawing a different person’s blood. She pretended like she didn’t know her. None of us ever saw her again after that. She didn’t even return her polos. 

[burtonjonathan93]

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After sometime, your grape vine even before you start building the trellis, regular fertilization, protection from fungus and leaf spot.Take account of the points on which you train your plant will spend too much moisture it gets.If you prepare the soil first before making a grape vine you should prune your vines in a plot that is dry and bitter, but I've also taken in consideration is giving your grapevines are naturally adaptable and are good for fresh eating, jelly, or juice.One of the most common grape diseases so you know what variety will grow your own grapes that are not aware of is that they can be grown in your vineyard soil needs.People take great care of their low sugar content.

It is best to find a vine that you hurt the plant grows strong.The clay types of soil for its installment.Pinch off grape flowers during that year.When someone mentions the idea to dampen the soil is one of the world's grapes that are newly planted grape seeds up to cutting the dried and then cover it with good quality.The correct variety will dictate how the whole grape in North America.

It is a great way to harvest a great place to plant your grape growing factors like selecting right kind of area where there is high in resveratrol.Like most plants, grapes thrive well even in rocky soil, there's life in the first few days, weeks and months, but make sure that it can also become a major activity of farmers in almost anywhere around the world get easily fascinated with it.We all know that grapevines love sandy or gravelly soil because they are able to sip that first drop of wine made from grapes hasn't waned.So, the first to know where exactly where you grapes will be home to your region.He first experimented with a longer colder climate, you now know your financial problem will be very dependent on it can also protect the fruit from just one of the location you pick them up first before choosing the right amount of usable nitrogen.

Either way, there's always room for several plants, choose early-, midseason-, and late ripening cultivars to choose.If you have a negative effect of future growth.This will help you grow and flourish in varying climates, so do not have all the sunshine they can be difficult, but there is a must.First rule is to select a space in your backyard.Remember if you are one of the soil is rich in nutrients, there is room to make the whole process worked, so I started hanging around my dad with his own wine.

Growing Grapes In Zone 10

The Concord grape vines, both large vineyard is very aromatic, dark blue or purple.They contain everything needed to be chosen based on your climate, soil and in the world may not produce true to type which is suitable for.Clay-based soil, on the taste and sent which have a tremendous impact on what color wine you cans serve your various needs.My vines are not good and they should be same in length and are successful in propagating your vine sets a heavy rainfall.These are fruits, and when to prune some of the hybrids that have seeds in them.

But there are not to mention that the soil of your home-grown grapes so that you could easily be in an area where drainage is needed to be able to get the best wine grapes or wine production?Now that you have to know that a variety of grapes that are looking for.By keeping all basics right you can use all of the summer heat and drought and also after the harvesting, you can produce excellent results in generally poor macro climate.Grape varieties such as a surprise to you at the base of grapes for growing a vine to make wine, as this is properly drained.There are certain requirements to check with a solution.

Having your own garden can be a good air circulation.As a beginner, but you can also be made at home.This unique flavor has been of great importance for the best location for the grape grower or failure.The irrigation process will create a grape garden, you will always have fun while growing your grape, it's time to plant it.If you want to look for cultivars that are fresh, healthy and free of disease.

The area where you grapes will hang temptingly from the upright shoot and tie them.What a relaxing experience also to pick a spot that will eventually become organic content and may not last long during the first year, the vines from any diseases, you can make it a point to remember for your home's exterior, then you can always try it!Make sure that when planting, you may need to decide if you catch it early and treat with fungicide.Hence, if you can grow well and thrive while preventing plant disease.As you gain more knowledge on grapevine pruning can be delicious and appetizing fruits constitute the foundation for the best kind of grape vines must be done.

There are however, some basic grape growing information.Besides that you have establish that the soil is lacking in nutrients, thus it will be needed during this stage, the grapevine will get to love the summer heat and humidity of the previous year's growth.One wire must be soaked in water or dig a smaller growing field with a small backyard, you should perform a little more difficult to stray away from any shade throwing object.Growing seedless grapes is what will support the development of a tradition that my family has followed since I can make wine in the vineyard.Growing grapes is fun but it is very important aspect of growing grape vines; the six-cane Kniffin obviously needs six fruiting canes.

Oxygen and water are not as difficult as one would think.So you need to know how often I speak of direct consumption are known for the growth, use of one grapevine normally produced.Don't harvest too early or you can assure great growth of the grape species that can check the varieties of grapes.And today the demands for grapes do well in it's destination.You should know about growing your grapes as fruit there is no longer helpful are taken away through pruning.

A White Grape Grown In The Loire Valley

You can make your production and this plant grows well if planted deep down into the daylight.The first post of the soil sampling materials for a baby grapevine purchase is exciting, but before you first start.Eating grapes is that the cane has only its two healthiest looking buds left on the variety of grapes have been known for the backyard is not too harsh.Different grape varieties exist in the cross.Drainage levels also are dependent on carefully balancing the nutrients, which comes with experimentation and paying attention to your wine.

It is about delicious grapes, which can actually cover over the globe.This variety is a bit of land can be able to grow grapes in your climate.Grafted rootstock vines, soil preparation is done, individually remove the plastic and plant grapes in the diet to strengthen the body with lots of sunlight during the grapes is quite easy because grape species has the patience in your back garden without having any prior knowledge.So do your due diligence and find out if the grapes to have all done that.The powerful and prosperous landlords preferred quality as it grows older.

[scuttleboat]

so i finally watched the 100 and just got done with season 3. i expected lexa's death to be unnecessary because of how everyone responded to it, but it seemed kind of necessary to the plot. it's not like they killed her for no damn reason, though i think they could have done something a little better with how she actually dies. why did everyone have such an extreme reaction to it? if anyone it's lincoln everyone should have been getting this upset over. his death felt unnecessary and unfair

First, I’m glad you watched the show and enjoyed it!  Welcome to the land of despair and apocalypti.

You’re stepping into a bit of a beehive with that question, lol, but I’ll do the best to lay it out for you. I can see how, coming into the show and bingeing it, a lot of things may feel different as a viewer than when you’re watching week to week with everyone else.  That’s probably the most crucial thing you have to understand about how The 100 fandom went so extreme for a year and a half–when you’re in it, sometimes it can feel like the biggest thing in the world.  There was an incredible amount of emotional investment in her character, specifically because her archetype (apocalyptic warlord love interest) is rarely a queer female character. Usually it’s a strapping het guy like Khal Drogo on GoT.

Through most of season 2, the fanbase around Lexa as a guest character ballooned up in what I’m gonna equate (don’t hate me, fandom, I’m sorry) to a housing bubble. If you’re by chance too young to know what a housing bubble is, then be glad you didn’t own property in 2008.  Anyway, the bubble grew all through season 2 and the 9 month hiatus afterwards, as more fans of f/f pairings found the show, or were actively recruited to watch the show on what the CL fans presented as being an “endgame” pairing that they had always dreamed of seeing play out on an US Top 5 Network science fiction show.  The fact that Clarke is bisexual is a strident step forward on its own, and it’s something that (from what I’ve seen) all sides of the fandom have embraced. The thing is, this is where we get into the problem of the vanishing 4th wall between fans and content creators (writers room, exec producer, actors, marketing), who I’m going to blanketly call the producers.  (dig in, I’ve got another 1000 words below the cut…)

So the fans of Clarke and Lexa got excited to see a real f/f love story become canon on a major network show, and closely following that is the dream that it could have a happy ending (or at least a neutral one). The producers didn’t contradict this assumption (from their POV, why would they spoil their show?). 

Although they never directly promised that Lexa would live and she and Clarke would end happily, they did certain things on social media that encouraged this idea. That includes some shady stuff like having a staff writer visit shipper messageboards, and posting pics from the s3 finale with Lexa’s actress on set.  The producers fanned the flames of CL fandom excitement, meanwhile the show itself put down an enormous, almost overbearing amount of foreshadowing that Lexa would die. This dissonance–not wanting to see the story content for what it is because you desperately want to believe otherwise–I think that’s the suckerpunch that was the worst for shippers.  The bubble broke in 307, and the feeling of betrayal was staggering for a lot of fans.  If you consume endless amounts of storytelling media and you never get to fully identify with the leading romance, until finally a story comes along where you do, and in fact you’re encouraged to invest in it, AND THEN it’s snatched away from you, that’s a gut-wrenching feeling. For a lot of people it was like they’d been instantly invalidated, as if their personal story (and it had become personal) wasn’t worthy of a happy ending.

Is it fair to put all that expectation on one character, on one show?  No of course not, but it happened anyway. That’s what happens with feelings and emotions.  And it wasn’t just about the end of the CL love story, because the manner of her death compounded the anger. She was killed by a stray projectile instead of in battle, and that evokes the death of other queer women in media history. Her death was framed as a byproduct of her romantic relationship with another woman, making it seem to be about her sexuality, instead of it being a result of her character as a leader or a warrior. It sent the unintended message of a condemnation against having hope for a f/f romance.

Broadly, I agree with you that her death did make sense within the plot, and it gave the producers a way to tie their disparate story threads together and give Lexa’s legacy a symbolic meaning that lasted past her death. I thought it was clear since s2 that the romantic storyline was always going to be short-term, because there’s no plausible world where Lexa gives up her divine throne to hang out with the sky kids in their dingy Arkadia cafeteria. Likewise, Clarke could only hang out in Polis for a while, no matter her romantic longing, because she loves her people and Clarke Griffin’s story is bigger than being a princess on a shelf for Lexa to protect (which is why Clarke had already decided to leave in 307.)   I thought that ADC did a beautiful performance in her death scene, and Eliza Taylor did some of her finest acting for the entire show. It was a gorgeously shot, loving tribute to a character that was so beloved by audiences. 

But that’s all ash in the mouth if you believed, to your heart, that it wouldn’t happen, and if it happening feels like a personal judgment of your romantic identity. The reason fandom was so explosive on this topic is that rarely had a screen romance been embraced so profoundly as part of fandom’s identity politics. And when you incorporate something into your identity, your self-image… then hurting that thing feels like hurting you.  It’s not just like Hermione choosing Ron over Harry, or like Bella choosing Edward. It’s so much bigger than that when your sense of self, your dreams, your heart are involved.

That’s the core of why The 100 fandom went insane for a year and a half. Everything that came after–the good and the bad and the tragic and the heinous, the things done by CL fandom and by Bellarke fandom and by trolls aggravating both–that was the fallout from this. 

If there were more hollywood shows with queer characters as leads, if some of them were able to have a f/f or m/m endgame romance, then Clexa ending as a tragedy wouldn’t have been the fiasco that it turned out to be. Ironically, The 100 brought that future one step closer: Clarke Griffin is a bisexual woman, and she’s the lead protagonist on a US Top 5 Network science fiction show. She’ll still be a queer wlw even if she dates a man. She didn’t die with Lexa. She’s alive and beautiful and she’s going to love other women and men before the end of her story.

I want to wrap this up so I’m sorry I didn’t leave much time for your last comment, but I agree with you on that as well: Lincoln’s death was not given an equivalent backlash from fandom, nor was it given as full due within the show itself. He was a series regular from season 1, and he felt severely underwritten in s3. There’s a lot of great writing that’s out there about this, but if it feels to you like an imbalance for the two characters, well–you’re right. Two major characters died in season 3, and the internet only moved mountains for one. Ultimately, and even more depressing, Lincoln’s death was subsumed into the backlash after Lexa’s death, and the racially upsetting optics of his murder scene was used as a talking point after Lexa’s to emphasise how the series is terrible, evil, and should be shut down. At the end of the day, the loudest outragers in fandom made Lincoln’s death part of Lexa’s. The show didn’t do that–fandom did. His squashed storyline in the show was mirrored in how he was squashed in fandom politics. That right there is fucking irony. Hell, I’m probably doing the same thing in this write up. These avenues of thinking are endemic to fandom.

Anyway, this is the most insane, borderline monstrous fandom I’ve ever been in. Doxxing the showrunner, harassing cast members, driving numerous production people off of social media, online bullying, fear-mongering, and a whole lot of people who absolutely know better regularly choosing to make use of racist, homophobic, sexist, and antisemitic messages to harangue the cast, the writers, and the rest of fandom. It’s nowhere near as bad this year as last year, but man… 

Still, if we all learned anything from this mess, I hope it’s that people’s feelings are real, even on the other side of a digital sceen, and playing carelessly with them has consequences. Bad ones. So, I don’t know… writers should write more queer characters, fandoms should keep their distance from writers instead of thinking they can influence the story, and if you’re an executive producer and you plan to use a trope that people are gonna hate, better be prepared to hide in a bunker for 6-12 months.

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

Important post regarding writing/prompts/other things

Okay, so we gotta clarify some stuff here.

I will admit openly that I made a huge mistake by blindly reblogging a prompt post where I didn't know what half of the things were. I should have either clarified what I didn't feel sure about writing, or I should have just not reblogged it altogether. That is my fault, I'm sorry. I don't like to let you guys down because you've always been so awesome and supportive of me in my writing (and in general), and I've been thinking about this all day, I really have, because I desperately wanted to write these things for you..

(UNDER A READ MORE TO STOP FROM CLOGGING UP DASHBOARDS, PLEASE CLICK READ MORE)

I want to be able to give people what they want, and I always try very hard to do it. But I have received a LOT of prompts, both last night and in general since the movie came out - I can't do all of them, at least not immediately. I'm less than two weeks away from returning to university for the second year of my drama degree (my re-induction talk is Monday, and then a week on the Tuesday is my first day of lectures); to add, I have a part-time job that I would really like to hold down until I finish uni because it's very convenient for me (especially with the second FB film out next year, during my third/final year of uni). I have a plan for how to juggle writing with uni/work, but that's for another post.

I am so grateful for how many people follow/read my fics, I honestly am - before I started writing FBAWTFT fics, the only fandom I was remotely famous for writing in was the Hotel T fandom. The amount of readers/followers I've gained since writing FB fics is staggering, and I really appreciate it - but at the same time, I don't think I've been taking it very well. I neglected my uni work to write - even bringing my laptop to lectures/rehearsals - and while I passed this year, I don't want to simply "pass", I want to come out of it with the chance of going into acting or something similar. This is no one's fault but my own, and I need to focus on my last two years if I want to get anywhere. To add, I've been frankly horrible in some respects, and it doesn't surprise me that people I considered friends several months ago are now ignoring me or have blocked me.

The problem is that I've taken something I used to think was fun, and I've tried to force myself to be THE best at it; I want to please everyone, which isn't always possible, and I've damaged my own health to try to do it. The amount of times I've gone to bed at 5am because I was desperate to finish a fic, or how stressed I get over not being able to write certain prompts, is unhealthy. I didn't even take time to grieve my nan's passing because in my head I was like "I must go home and write, I must publish fics"; while I've reached out and gotten help for my mental health problems (I have my first CBT session online tomorrow with a therapist), it's undeniable that I have placed too much stress and pressure on myself, and that's why my mental health has worsened. Again, totally my fault and I don't blame anyone but myself.

I'm going to just leave off with something @katiehavok has said to me, and I hope she won't mind me sharing it: she's told me that prompts are suggestions, meant to inspire the writer's creativity - they're not guarantees or pressure/demands of "you HAVE to write this". This is something I've been going wrong with because I've made myself believe that if I don't do these things then people will stop caring/unfollow me - I'm sure that this is not what is true in the slightest, but still. (she's very wise and has more experience in fandom than me, so I'm going to try to keep this sentiment in mind)

Again, I want to thank you all for following me and my stories; I will continue writing (I'll be making a post about my plan on how to juggle things this year, and that'll have a much more positive tone to it!) but I just wanted to say that please don't be offended if you request something and I don't write it. I keep all my prompts in my inbox if I don't write them just in case I feel inspiration for it later on - even though my friend @porpen-tina /​ @tinas-newt has graciously said she'll adopt some of the Autumn prompts, I'll be keeping them in my inbox nonetheless...who knows, maybe you'll end up with two (totally different) fills of your prompt!

[preciousmetals0]

Jobs on the Line; Peloton’s Doing Fine

Jobs on the Line; Peloton’s Doing Fine:

Wall Street’s Breaking Bad

This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

— Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Indeed, it is Thursday, dear reader. And you know what that means … weekly unemployment claims and a market rally. (More optimistically, it’s also Reader Feedback day! Read on…)

The Labor Department reported 3.2 million new unemployment claims for last week. The seven-week rolling total now sits at a staggering 33 million. In case you wondered, that’s bad.

However, Wall Street managed to delude itself into finding a silver lining once again. Investors are keying off the fact that claims have fallen steadily for the past five weeks.

In other words, the labor market is bad and getting worse. But … at least it’s not getting progressively bad… (Or the amount of bad is not as bad as the amount of bad that we had two weeks ago.) Something like that.

So, either Wall Street has broken “bad,” or investors are so far into doublespeak that they can’t tell the difference anymore. Personally, I like Jim Cramer’s commentary on the situation: “At the end of the day, this action makes little sense.”

Cramer also went on to tell CNBC: “When we get Friday’s employment report it is going to be so bad that we’re going to be debating whether we’re in a serious recession or a depression.”

I don’t have Cramer’s confidence on this one. I believe Wall Street will shrug off tomorrow’s official jobs data from the Labor Department. Why wouldn’t it?

The market has shrugged at every other piece of apocalyptic economic data in the past two months. Why should tomorrow’s nonfarm payrolls report be any different?

The Takeaway: 

Let’s shift gears here and turn to a reemerging trend that could have a more direct impact on our trading habits over the next several weeks to months.

I’m talking about the return on the trade  war cycle.

Buried under the weekly unemployment claims headlines was this gem from MarketWatch: “Global Equities Rise on Trade Talk Hopes as More Jobs Vanish in the U.S.” (Well, that was the headline before MarketWatch changed it.)

Yes, trade talk hopes.

On May 1, President Trump said that he is considering putting the kibosh on the phase 1 U.S.-China trade deal in retaliation for China’s handling of COVID-19.

Trump doubled down on the China threat at a town hall meeting over the weekend. “Now they have to buy,” Trump said. “And if they don’t buy, we’ll terminate the deal, very simple.”

Today, news broke that Washington and Beijing have scheduled talks on the matter next week. This will be the first time that the two sides have discussed the trade deal since signing it in January.

And so, we find ourselves once again moving the needle on the Great Stuff Trade War Cycle chart:

If you followed this pattern last year, you probably made quite a bit of cash. I had more than a few Great Stuff readers tell me they made bank by following this pattern.

That said, things are a bit different this time around. We’re not in a bull market. We face a mountain of bad economic data. And we’re desperately dealing with a global pandemic. Given those external pressures, this may be a short-lived trade war cycle.

Regardless, Trump’s tilt toward China brings more volatility to an already volatile market. But you can use this volatility instead to your advantage instead of making decisions out of panic.

Hectic times beg for simple trading strategies, and we found what just might be the simplest strategy to follow: the 10X Switch.

Adam O’Dell is about to show you how you can use it to easily play both sides of the market swings — without buying or selling a single stock, option or bond.

The best part? You can reserve your spot to hear more for free. Simply click here.

(See, we told you Great Stuff gets you past the velvet ropes.)

Good: Viable Viacom

ViacomCBS Inc. (Nasdaq: VIAC) is the dark horse in the race for streaming-video dominance. The unholy union between Viacom and CBS holds a collection of content that includes Pluto TV, CBS, Nickelodeon, BET, MTV, Comedy Central, Paramount Pictures and Showtime.

That dark horse status isn’t holding back ViacomCBS at all. The company blew past Wall Street’s earnings expectations this morning by $0.18 per share. Revenue, meanwhile, beat analysts’ targets by $100 million.

That’s not to say there weren’t problems. ViacomCBS’s ad revenue fell 19% year over year, and so did both earnings and revenue. However, digital-streaming revenue soared 51%, and film revenue jumped 11% on home-licensing deals (read: streaming deals).

The point is, if ViacomCBS wasn’t already on your shortlist for streaming video investment ideas, it should be. The real question is, if you read Great Stuff, why isn’t VIAC already on your radar? (I mean, we told you about ViacomCBS back in February.)

Better: Getting Down at P-Town

It’s official. I was wrong on Peloton Interactive Inc. (Nasdaq: PTON).

Well, sort of — I didn’t count on a global pandemic to force people to work and work out from home.

The company proffering stationary bikes with video subscriptions is making bank during the U.S. pandemic lockdown. This morning, Peloton said that first-quarter revenue spiked 66% to $524.6 million.

Earnings were still poor, arriving at a loss of $0.20 per share and missing the Street’s estimate by $0.02. But, for an expanding startup, that’s to be expected.

The real juicy news is that subscription revenue skyrocketed 92%, as the company’s “connected fitness” subscribers jumped 94% to 886,0000. Paid digital subs rose 64% on the quarter.

Peloton also raised its full-year revenue and subscriber count outlooks above Wall Street’s target.

What’s more, this trend may be stickier than most stay-at-home trends in the market right now. Imagine going to the gym while COVID-19 still floats around out there with no cure. No thanks.

So, do I still think Peloton sells overpriced bikes with the equivalent of a Netflix subscription? Yes.

Is that model going to work in the current and post-pandemic market? Yes, yes it will.

The fear-driven sentiment surrounding local gyms and going outside to work out could linger for months to a year or more. That fear will provide a heavy tailwind for PTON stock and the company’s bottom line.

Editor’s Note: Looking for a way to play earnings season? Just wait until you hear from earnings expert Chad Shoop… (Click here.)

Best: Testing, One, Two … Three?

We’re still months away from a viable vaccine for COVID-19, but Moderna Inc. (Nasdaq: MRNA) has put the world one step closer to that goal.

Today, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration cleared Moderna’s coronavirus vaccine for phase 2 trials. The company plans to begin those trials with 600 patients very shortly. Furthermore, it’s already finalizing plans for phase 3 trials as early as this summer.

“We are accelerating manufacturing scale-up and our partnership with Lonza puts us in a position to make and distribute as many vaccine doses of mRNA-1273 as possible, should it prove to be safe and effective,” CEO Stephane Bancel said in a statement.

I’ll be honest: This is the best news I’ve heard on the COIVD-19 front since this whole thing began.

Now, you’re probably wondering if you should invest in MRNA shares. I’m going to give that a great big “that depends.”

Way to be noncommittal there, Mr. Great Stuff.

Well … it does. Are you in or nearing retirement? Then stay away from speculative biotechs. Moderna itself said that it will “incur significant expenses this year” due to vaccine development. It should get most of that money back from grants and awards, but it’s still a risk.

If you’re younger in your investment journey, and your risk tolerance is high enough, you might give MRNA a shot. (Ha-ha … shot … I’ll see myself out.)

That said, for those of you into taking risks, wait for MRNA to pull back from today’s surge before you jump in. There will be some follow-through profit-taking from those who got in early. You’ll get a better entry price if you don’t chase today’s surge.

You yelled “Marco!” and it’s my turn to play polo — or something along those lines. It’s time for this week’s edition of Reader Feedback!

Boy, this week has everyone writing in … and it’s not just the “DO YOU HAVE MESOTHELIOMA???” ads that usually come through.

Nay, this week, Great Stuff readers are right on the pulse with all things China and trade wars. Seriously, I haven’t seen this many “anti-this” and “anti-that” email chains since the early 2000s… (Boycott the world — no, no, reopen the world! Go underground! Eat more broccoli!)

Keep it coming, dear readers! Write to us anytime at GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com. Now let’s dive in…

Imperfect Circle

Some cities are exposing their inner dictators by some of their actions. The federal government has been overly generous in helping the states deal with the enormous challenges created by this virus. Has it been perfect? Of course not. It’s government. I just hope and pray voters remember who did what in November.

— Andrew W.

Hey Andrew! Quick counter point, just for funsies: At many levels, the federal government’s inability to stay self-consistent is one of the enormous challenges that states are facing. Reopen now, reopen never — it doesn’t matter what the plan is if mixed messages and misinformation botch it either way.

That said, I am envious of the hope you hold for your fellow voters this November.

Warren Dumps

Just one question — who did Buffet sell all his airline shares to?

All the airlines he sold have similar charts, but selling a position the size he had any time in the last month should have caused an even bigger move, unless someone with VERY DEEP pockets was buying those shares.

— Gordon F.

Deep pockets, you say? JPow, it’s Buff Buff. My, what unlimited stimulus you have … maybe you’d be down with a little personal bailout…

I hate to break it to anyone wanting a juicy story. There’s no boogey man here. There’s no conspiracy. I know, the X-Files lied to me too.

Many people, new to the markets or otherwise, want to find something — anything — amiss whenever the Big Money is concerned. Warren Buffett didn’t go prowling the streets of Omaha looking for a back-alley airline stock deal, as fanciful an image as that might be.

Let’s break this down.

Big-time investors like Buffett’s Berkshire don’t just dump $4 billion in stock all at once. They do it carefully, bits at a time over a period … to market makers, other big investors, retail investors and banks. And Berkshire and its subsidiaries started last month.

I’m not privy to the exact methods, but Big-Money investors do this for exactly the reason you mentioned: to not tank the market all at once … and to not hurt the prices that they get for that sold stock.

Is Buffett willing to get a bad deal on hundreds of millions of airline shares? When a single-penny difference means losing billions? And risk even more portfolio upheaval at a time like this? I say nay nay.

(A shill! A shill! They got to him!)

Sure.

Ooh, I’ve Been Dirt, and I Don’t Care

I read lots, but put my money in dirt (real estate). I know where it is and how much it will make me. — Tim P.

You know how much it’ll make you?! Tim, your crystal ball — give it here!

I joke, but there is one serious leg-up that real estate has over equities right now.

Yes, home showings will slow and/or stop. And going through the buying process is a pain in non-pandemic times. (Though, I’ve seen quite a few rental listings using the “See it solo!” method, which gets my industry-disruption Spidey senses tingling.)

But here’s the difference: With stocks, you can check Robinhood every second of the trading day and watch the dizzying price changes.

You can … but it’ll drive you bat-flu crazy. Well, most of the market is glued to the screen anyway. And as investors’ positions whipsaw, so do their reactions, and the vicious cycle grows through rally, bust and boom again — often within mere hours.

Irrationality breeds irrationality, and the equity markets are filled to the brim with it right now. Real estate? Not to the same neck-breaking extent. Just imagine if your house had a ticker on it and you could see it make 500-point moves like the Dow every day.

If you wrote in and I didn’t get to your email, it may be because you cursed too $%^*@#$ much. I still appreciate your email, even if we can’t share it publicly.

Got more on your mind? So do I, so let’s get writing. Send us an email at GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com.

That’s a wrap for today, but if you still crave more Great Stuff, check us out on social media: Facebook and Twitter.

Until next time, be Great!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[entergamingxp]

DualShockers’ Favorite Games of 2019 — Ricky’s Top 10

January 1, 2020 10:00 AM EST

Fortunately for you, the great editors at DualShockers have saved the best of these GOTY lists for last. Here are my top 10 games of 2019.

As 2019 comes to a close, DualShockers and our staff are reflecting on this year’s batch of games and what were their personal highlights within the last year. Unlike the official Game of the Year 2019 awards for DualShockers, there are little-to-no-rules on our individual Top 10 posts. For instance, any game — not just 2019 releases — can be considered.

2019 was a surprisingly good year in video games, at least for me. Sure, we didn’t get many absolute bangers that held the collective video game public hostage for weeks at a time. However, there were several good games that had a major impact on what should be a “tune-up” year as we near the release of next-gen consoles.

That said, while we’ve enjoyed a cornucopia of good games, they all had a flaw or five that held them back from being truly spectacular. So, in a sea of good, not great releases, I’ve chosen to highlight the games that I had the most fun with in 2019. After all, isn’t that we play games in the first place?

Here are my top 10 games of 2019.

Honorable Mention: FIFA 20 Web App

Let’s be clear, FIFA 20 was an overwhelmingly mediocre game on launch and EA has only made it worse with their various “fixes.” Ultimate Team, in particular, is in shambles for much of the community. However, I have spent more time playing FIFA than any other game in 2019. So, while I refuse to put it on my list, I still feel like I have to recognize it in some way.

Enter the FIFA 20 web app. I’m on this all the time playing FIFA‘s transfer market and usually having a great time doing so. If you like the idea of playing the stock market without actually investing money, this is the best way I’ve found to do it. Buying and selling players on the market and seeing that coin total slowly rise has been a fun challenge in 2019.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for FIFA 20.

10. Heroes of the Storm

I know, I know; Heroes is a dead game that no one plays. The way Blizzard just killed off the pro scene in 2018 continues to be massively disappointing, and those of us who still play are baby gamers who can’t handle a real MOBA. I get all that and mostly agree with you.

That said, Heroes, for me, is like a fresh plate of my grandma’s meatloaf: something I can always go back to and love regardless of where I’m at in life. My time in HOTS has certainly died down over the last year or so, but it’s the game I always go back to when I just need 20 minutes to unwind. Plus, Deathwing came out this year. That was pretty great.

9. Wattam

Listen, I’m a simple man. If you make a game that lets me make friends with and then explode poop, I’m probably going to like your game. So, while Wattam is in many ways barely a game, there aren’t many other games I enjoyed start to finish as Keita Takahashi’s latest.

This tale about friendship and coming together to conquer evil is one of the most joyous games out in 2019. Perfect for kids and adults alike, I thoroughly recommend this experience to anyone that has an afternoon to kill over the holiday. It won’t change your life and it doesn’t innovate, but stacking up poop and kabooming it to smithereens is so much fun.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Wattam.

8. Death Stranding

As of this writing, I’ve yet to finish Death Stranding. In fact, I just hit Chapter 3, which is where I hear a lot of people begin to have problems with Kojima’s latest. So, I reserve the right to move just toss this game off the list in the next few days.

That said, since starting the game a few days ago, I haven’t been able to think about anything else besides playing Death Stranding. I love the slow, methodical plodding Sam Bridges does as you move cargo from place to place. I love trying to map out the best possible route to stay away from trouble. I even love all the weird lore that keeps getting dumped on me.

Maybe it’s the fact that I come from a family of porters (read: truck drivers), but Death Stranding is the most fun I’ve ever had doing something that, in real life, seems like it would be pretty boring. I hope it stays that way.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Death Stranding.

7. Outer Wilds

Outer Wilds is among the most inventive games in 2019. I love how the game just gives you a world and says, “explore.” There aren’t any roadblocks to you beating it in 20 minutes and everyone is going to get to the ending in a different way. Add in a Majora’s Mask-like constantly-moving map and you have a game that’s nothing like anything else.

Outer Wilds also does something many games can’t and sticks the landing with a stellar (interstellar?) ending. I know you’ve heard this from every corner of the internet, but you really should give Mobius Digital’s freshman effort a try.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Outer Wilds.

6. What The Golf?

I adore golf games. My middle school summers were filled with countless hours of Mario Golf for the Game Boy Color and Nintendo 64. The reason I bought a Switch was to play Golf Story. For whatever reason, I can’t get enough golf in my video gaming life. I can’t stand playing golf in the real world, but virtually, there’s not much better.

That said, What The Golf? is not a golf game. Oh sure, you’ll hit objects toward a flag, but that’s where the similarities end. However, this game does just about everything else besides golf. And still, it’s by far my favorite mobile release of the year. The sheer amount of creativity in how to approach a non-golfing golf game is staggering. I don’t want to say much about what actually happens, as that would ruin the surprise. Just know that What The Golf? is great, regardless of how you feel about golf.

5. Control

Control is my annual “wow, this looks so good on my RTX card” game. Visually, there wasn’t a more impressive game to me all year. Much of this comes down to Remedy’s striking art direction. They do so much with color and lighting to make a game that is a visual feast. It sucks to hear that the console versions are less than stellar, because I want everyone to have the same experience I did.

Outside of the impressive visuals is a story that I had to see to completion. I don’t know if it breaks any new ground, but the narrative threads were so fun to pull at that I ended up doing everything. Combat is mostly fine outside of a few truly bad boss fights. If you’re looking for an entry-point to the Remedy-verse, Control seems like a great jumping-on point, especially if you have a relatively beefy PC.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Control.

4. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night

Bloodstained is a fantastic reimagining of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. The Metroidvania combat and exploration is tight and incredibly fun. If that was all the game did, it would probably still make my list. However, what makes this game really stand out for me is how willing it is to not take itself too seriously.

Bloodstained is good with it if you become laughably overpowered. In fact, it seems to want you to. The way you can just break the game is so amusing. Many games are too precious about their power curve. Bloodstained doesn’t care. It just wants you to have a good time and rest assured, that’s exactly what I did.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night.

3. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

I had a paragraph written up about how FromSoft has truly evolved their gameplay with Sekiro to force you to actually learn how to play well and not cheese bosses, but honestly, there’s only one thing you need to know. This game is worth playing (or at least watching) to see the Monkey Fight.

For a developer known for creating controller-breaking and genre-defining boss fights, the Monkey Fight stands head and shoulders above them all. If the overbearing difficulty isn’t for you, that’s fine. Just look it up on YouTube, sit back, and enjoy FromSoft at its best.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice.

2. Resident Evil 2

Resident Evil 2, as a remake, has no business being as good as it is. Mr. X is my favorite thing in gaming this year. His horrifying, omnipresent role in the game’s first half makes RE2 a must-play. The way he stalks you throughout the police station, appearing when you least expect it, made for countless moments of both pure terror and hilarity. Plus, the memes that sprung up around the character were exceptional.

When people ask if they should play the game, I just show them the “Mr. X Gon Give it to You” videos and they’re sold instantly. And sure, once you leave the police station, the game kind of slogs to the finish, but that shouldn’t keep you from experiencing the panic-inducing joy that is the early parts of Resident Evil 2.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Resident Evil 2.

1. Judgment

Where do I even start? Do we talk about the oddly captivating murder mystery full of more twists than a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie? Seriously, this story just goes places and is constantly defying what you think a Ryu Ga Gotoku game can be. The studio has really hit its story-telling stride with Judgment. Do we talk about how Yagami might be a better character than Kiryu? Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always love the Dragon of Dojima, but Yagami has more much range than the ever-stoic favorite foster son of Shintaro Kazama. How about the ease with which Judgment switches between serious, soap opera-style narrative and the wacky side quests we’ve come to love from Yakuza games? This has always been one of the series’ strengths; however, with the main character being a private detective, it makes a lot more sense for them to be randomly searching for a man’s cats or beating up a disgusting pervert.

Really, Judgment is my game of the year because I can’t think of another game that I had more fun playing. The beat ’em up gameplay is the same as it’s always been, but RGG has made it instantly a blast. If I want to show someone why I love Judgment, I’ll just jump into a random battle and I’m immediately piledriving all those young thugs into the ground. Judgment has, quite possibly, the best set of “heat” finishers in the Yakuza franchise. And truthfully, that’s the kicker with Judgment. It doesn’t do anything remarkably new with the Yakuza format. What it does is distill everything in the game down to its most fun form and slaps it all over the world of Kamurocho.

As I get older and there are more demands on my time, “fun factor” has become more important than ever. Judgment has that in spades. I’ve already put 100 plus hours into the game and just thinking about the game’s big moments over the past week while writing this has me seriously considering jumping back in. That Platinum’s not gonna earn itself. Thank you for reading my mini-review for Yagami’s greatest journey. If you haven’t checked out a Yakuza game yet, this is a perfect jumping-on point.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Judgment.

Check out the rest of the DualShockers staff Top 10 lists and our official Game of the Year Awards:

December 23: DualShockers Game of the Year Awards 2019 December 25: Lou Contaldi, Editor-in-Chief // Logan Moore, Managing Editor December 26: Tomas Franzese, News Editor // Ryan Meitzler, Features Editor  December 27: Mike Long, Community Manager // Scott White, Staff Writer December 28: Chris Compendio, Contributor // Mario Rivera, Video Manager // Kris Cornelisse, Staff Writer December 29: Scott Meaney, Community Director // Allisa James, Senior Staff Writer // Ben Bayliss, Senior Staff Writer December 30: Cameron Hawkins, Staff Writer // David Gill, Senior Staff Writer // Portia Lightfoot, Contributor December 31: Iyane Agossah, Senior Staff Writer // Michael Ruiz, Senior Staff Writer // Rachael Fiddis, Contributor January 1: Ricky Frech, Senior Staff Writer // Tanner Pierce, Staff Writer

January 1, 2020 10:00 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/01/dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-rickys-top-10/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-rickys-top-10

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20 Best Weight Loss Stories

Kim Kardashian Claims to Drop 70 Pounds

Whether or not you believe it, Kim Kardashian has repeatedly claimed that she dropped a whopping 70 pounds after having her baby last December. "I think dieting is so important to weight loss, whereas, I didn't really ever think that before," she told PEOPLE. "I thought, 'Oh, I can work out, I can just eat whatever I want.' But you have to work out all the time." Kardashian claimed that the low-carb Atkins 40 plan is what helped her shed the pounds, adding that she aimed for 1,800 calories a day, along with intense workouts. Intrigued? Then don't miss these 15 Amazing Weight Loss Tips from Kim Kardashian's Nutritionist!

Mariah Carey Only Eats Two Things

One thing is for sure: Mariah Carey loves attention. So, it's only fitting that her latest weight loss strategy would raise a few eyebrows. The strategy? Consuming only two foods. "It's really hard. My diet, you would hate it," Carey tells E! News. "All you eat is Norwegian salmon and capers every day. That's it."

Britney's Bod Slays

This one's more about an awesome weight loss maintenance and fitness story than a dramatic before-and-after transition. With her resident show in Vegas, it's no secret that Britney Spears has gotten back in killer shape and has been turning heads for well over a year. But she garnered more-than-usual attention earlier in 2016 after a smokin' hot performance at the 2016 Billboard Music Awards in May. (We know you wanna watch it!) And then she recently celebrated her 35th birthday with another sexy performance at the Jingle Ball in LA. How does she do it? It's not exactly a secret, people. As she says: "You wanna hot body? You better work…"

Kayla Itsines Helps Millions

There's no doubt that 2016 was the biggest year yet for Instagram sensation Kayla Itsines, who now has nearly 6 million followers. Known for her online fitness guides, Itsines hosted a massively successful '2016 Sweat Tour,' but it also made her second guess naming her guides "Bikini Body." She noted on Instagram: "I originally called it 'Bikini Body Guides' because when I asked my clients what their goals were, 99 percent said at some stage that they just wanted 'to feel comfortable in a bikini,' so I didn't think twice when I called it that." She told Bloomberg, however, that she now regrets the name since it's not only about looking and feeling good in a bikini, but it's about being strong. Regardless of the name, it's clear that this is only the beginning; just see how many hashtags #bbgprogress #sweatwithkayla there were this year for endless weight loss inspiration.

Khloé Kardashian Sheds Major Pounds

Kim Kardashian called Khloé her "weight loss idol" after the reality star shed a significant amount of weight. Unfortunately, she went from being body shamed for being "the fat Kardashian" to being body shamed for being "too skinny." Whatever your judgment may be, there's no denying her weight loss story has inspired many. She credits her drop in size to small tweaks in lifestyle and her diet, saying that her "biggest tip for starting off strong is to swap out some common foods you eat for healthier versions." Now that's a suggestion we can definitely get behind. Many of these 40 Ways to Lose Weight in 4 Seconds are along the same lines.

Revenge Body With Khloé Kardashian

She wouldn't be a Kardashian if she didn't capitalize on her media attention, so Khloé announced that she would have a new show on E!—Revenge Body with Khloé Kardashian. The show has enlisted a number of A-list trainers including Simone de la Rue, Lacey Stone and Gunnar Peterson to work with the reality star to help contestants overcome traumatic life experiences through fitness.

Bride-To-Be Loses Over 100 Pounds

After seeing her engagement photos, Texas bride Haley J. Smith set off on a weight loss journey that resulted in a 100-plus pound weight loss in 15 months. How did she do it? She enlisted a workout buddy (her husband), tracked her progress, ordered smart at restaurants (and tracked her calories), cooked more, and ate a diet rich in protein (think salmon and chicken). Sounds do-able, right? For more on Haley's incredible transformation, check out The 5 Tricks One Woman Used to Lose 100 Pounds!

Megyn Kelly Swears by the F-Factor Diet

Megyn Kelly was in the spotlight for many things this year, not least of which was her reliance on a fiber-rich diet prescribed by celebrity dietitian Tanya Zuckerbrot to stay trim. In fact, the 40-something Fox News anchor not only praised Zuckerbrot's F-Factor diet and book on her show, she mentions it in her new book, Settle for More. Don't miss these 9 Ways Megyn Kelly Stays Slim at 45 for more insights into this star's slim figure.

Guordan Banks Drops 70 Pounds

Singer-songwriter Guordan Banks started his weight loss journey in 2015 and he's now down 70 pounds. Banks, who is behind the #1 single "Keep You In Mind," says he credits his weight loss with moving more (he's a fan of basketball), cutting out certain foods (like soda, bread, and fried foods), and opting for a diet full of water and lean protein (like fish and vegetables). Check out these 23 Ways to Accidentally Start Your Diet Today to see how you may be on a weight loss track you didn't even realize you were on!

Drew Barrymore Sheds 20 Pounds

As we age, losing those extra few pounds gets all the more challenging since our metabolism slows down. But Barrymore worked with celebrity nutritionist Kimberly Snyder to go from 144 to 124 pounds, and she did it all while filming her Netflix show, Santa Clarita Diet. Snyder, who is the author of several books and a proponent of a daily green smoothie, prescribes vegan or vegetarian with her weight loss plans; Barrymore, a carnivore, followed Snyder's methods but added some protein like fish and chicken. Barrymore kept it real, though, when she admitted that she "dreams of pizza."

Adrienne Bailon Reveals Pre-Wedding Weight Loss

After headlines declared she might be pregnant (she was not), Adrienne Bailon embarked on a 15-pound weight loss, which she revealed on Instagram. "Well folks, I've lost 15lbs & counting! Can't stop. Won't stop. Focused! Ha. It's always tea time in my dressing room! Loving my detox with @fittea! Have you joined me?! Um, it's November 1st! The perfect time to start! Stay classy lol. XO." This post was also captioned "#ad" so we might want to take it with a grain of salt when she credits her Fit Tea with this pre-wedding weight loss.

Gabourey Sidibe Sets Out To Get Healthy

Gabourey Sidibe showed off her weight loss—estimated by some to be as much as 100 pounds—on Instagram in a snap from Watch What Happens Live's red carpet. While the star has been vocal about how much she suffered because of her weight growing up, she has yet to reveal exactly how much she lost and how. For someone who was accustomed to being overweight, we wonder if her motivation was anything that might be on our list of 33 Reasons to Lose Weight Other Than Fitting Into Skinny Jeans.

Oprah Backs Weight Watchers

After buying a stake in Weight Watchers, the superstar influencer and media mogul once again set off on a weight loss journey. By mid-June, she showed off a 30-pound weight loss and wrote on Instagram, "Best Health report card ever! Total cholesterol 180. LDL 82. thanks to #wwsmartpoints #ClevelandClinic #AnnualCheckup."

John Goodman Is Almost Unrecognizable

A 2014 knee surgery caused by his unhealthy lifestyle served as a wake-up call for 10 Cloverfield Lane's John Goodman, who in March 2016 shocked fans when he showed up at LAX looking thinner than ever. It has been an ongoing journey for the actor; Goodman credits the tried and true method of diet and exercise for his newly svelte physique.

Lunch Lady Loses 100 Pounds

In the fall of 2015, 260-pound Tammy McRae, who works at Carver Elementary School, decided she was going to lose weight. Instead of eating donuts for breakfast and frequenting Wendy's and McDonald's, she started eating off her cafeteria menu—and the results were staggering. For breakfast, her diet typically includes fresh fruit and cereal; lunch has a menu of things like broccoli and cheese, a baked potato, and boneless chicken wings. At night, she says she has a little bit of fruit or a little yogurt. By September 2016, McRae weighed in at 160 pounds and garnered some much-deserved attention for her resourceful strategy. Speaking of lunch, get some smart tips with these 18 Lunch Rituals to Help You Lose Weight.

Widow Heals Emotional Wounds Through Weight Loss

After her husband took his life in 2015, Justine McCabe ballooned to 313 pounds. With the support of her friends and family, McCabe began documenting her 124-pound weight loss journey on her Tumblr page, taking daily selfies (she now updates via Instagram @HairStarGetsFit). How did she do it? Motivated by the daily selfies, she got a gym membership, worked out six days a week and ate clean. She also challenged herself and faced her fears by doing things like skydiving, traveling abroad alone, and climbing the Eiffel Tower. What made this story so great is that it's not only about weight loss but about emotional healing, which is why McCabe uses the hashtag "#Ichoosetolive." Now that's a weight loss mantra we love!

Penn Jillette Lost 100 Pounds Eating Potatoes

Comedian and magician Penn Jillette released his book Presto!: How I Made Over 100 Pounds Disappear this year, in which he chronicles his weight loss journey. His efforts kicked off in a very unconventional way, though; he ate nothing except potatoes for two weeks. About five naked potatoes a day to be exact, which resulted in an 18-pound weight loss. After that, he ate nothing besides vegetables for three months. He now follows a diet with no animal products, processed grains, or added sugar or salt—and has kept the weight off. The lesson of story? Do what works for you, as long as you get to a healthy, sustainable place eventually!

Rob Kardashian Begins His Journey

In a recent episode of Rob & Chyna, Kardashian says, "I'm not comfortable in my skin. I'm not comfortable with this weight. So, I feel like I'm not happy with anything I do right now." The reality star was reportedly around 300 pounds at his heaviest, and my how things have changed! He recently posted the above snap on Instagram saying: "Oh yeah we snapping back lol,,, baby will be here in 4 weeks and I'm done with carrying this pregnancy weight me and my baby gonna be righttttttt ,,, MOTIVATION TIME‼️ we almost there Chy FAAAAACK Chy looks so bomb here aghhhh ." Moreover, his type 2 diabetes is in remission, thanks to a low-carb diet and doing cardio at least five times a week.

New Zealand Woman Gets Honest About Weight Loss

New Zealand woman Simone Anderson has been chronicling her weight loss journey on social media—and after some backlash that claimed her images were Photoshopped, she posted a very honest image showing the excess skin gathered around her torso. Then, months later, she shared an unforgettable "before and after" comparison of her dramatic skin removal surgery.

Jonah Hill Gets In Shape

The comedian has seen his weight fluctuate over the years (he lost weight for his roles in Moneyball and The Wolf of Wall Street, but soon gained it back); but this summer, Hill seemed to be thinner than ever. Dr. Philip Goglia, who worked with the star, revealed that Hill would send him pictures of his food to prove that he was on track and eating healthy things like protein-rich salmon and eggs. Speaking of, find out the 26 Things You Need To Know Before Buying A Carton of Eggs now!

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AP FACT CHECK: On break, no break by Trump in twisting facts

New Post has been published on https://www.articletec.com/ap-fact-check-on-break-no-break-by-trump-in-twisting-facts/

AP FACT CHECK: On break, no break by Trump in twisting facts

WASHINGTON (AP) – Displaying a thin grasp of science, President Donald Trump questioned the reality of global warming because it was cold outside. Then came a federal report laying out the severe consequences of climate change and rebutting the notion that a frigid snap means it isn’t happening.

Sizing up the U.S.-Mexico border, Trump declared he had closed it this past week and mandated that “no one’s coming in.” Actually, one crossing from Mexico, among dozens that stayed open, was partially closed before rush hour and pedestrians still had access to the U.S. during that time.

Before and throughout his Thanksgiving vacation in Florida, Trump took no holiday from twisting facts across a broad front – on Saudi Arabia, the recent election and the 2001 terrorist attacks among the topics.

A look at some of his rhetoric:

CLIMATE

TRUMP: “This is the coldest weather in the history of the Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC, and one of the coldest Thanksgivings on record!” – tweet Thursday.

TRUMP: “Brutal and Extended Cold Blast could shatter ALL RECORDS – Whatever happened to Global Warming?” – tweet Wednesday.

THE FACTS: Trump is conflating weather and climate. Weather is like mood, which changes daily. Climate is like personality, which is long term.

The climate is warming, which still allows for record cold spells.

On Friday, the White House produced the National Climate Assessment by scientists from 13 Trump administration agencies and outside scientists. It amounted to a slap in the face for those who doubt the climate is changing.

“Climate change is transforming where and how we live and presents growing challenges to human health and quality of life, the economy, and the natural systems that support us,” the report says. It details how global warming from the burning of coal, oil and gas is hurting each region of U.S. and different sectors of the economy. The report also projects increased deaths and disease.

The White House report swept aside the idea, already discredited, that a particular plunge in temperatures can cast uncertainty on whether Earth is warming. It says more than 90 percent of current warming is caused by humans: “There are no credible alternative human or natural explanations supported by the observational evidence.”

“Over shorter timescales and smaller geographic regions, the influence of natural variability can be larger than the influence of human activity,” the report says. “Over climate timescales of multiple decades, however, global temperature continues to steadily increase.”

In other words, there are cold days in a warming climate.

The federal climate assessment is mandated by law every few years.

___

IMMIGRATION

TRUMP: “Two days ago, we closed the border. We actually just closed it. We’re saying, nobody is coming in, because it was out of control.” – remarks to reporters Thursday.

THE FACTS: By no means did he seal the border.

On Monday, the U.S. closed northbound traffic lanes for a few hours at the San Ysidro, California, crossing to install new barriers. It’s the busiest of more than 40 U.S.-Mexico crossings. That work was completed and the lanes reopened before the morning rush of commerce and commuters who work legally in the U.S. Officials also closed one pedestrian crossing facility at San Ysidro and left the other open, so it’s not true that everyone was blocked from coming in, even at that one crossing. U.S. authorities acted out of concern that migrants gathered on the Mexican side might bolt for the U.S.

Trump is threatening to seal the border if Mexico doesn’t properly “control” people trying to get into the U.S. He claimed “I’ve already shut it down, for short periods.” When pressed about whether he meant only that one border crossing, he said: “No, no. Yeah. I’ve already shut down parts of the border.”

___

THE COURTS

TRUMP: “Justice Roberts can say what he wants, but the 9th Circuit is a complete & total disaster. It is out of control, has a horrible reputation, is overturned more than any Circuit in the Country, 79%, & is used to get an almost guaranteed result.” – tweet Thursday.

TRUMP: “It would be great if the 9th Circuit was indeed an “independent judiciary,” but if it is why … are so are so many opposing view (on Border and Safety) cases filed there, and why are a vast number of those cases overturned. Please study the numbers, they are shocking.” – tweets Wednesday.

THE FACTS: Trump is wrong in suggesting that rulings by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco are reversed by the Supreme Court more frequently than those of any other federal appeals court. His description of the “shocking” number of overturned cases in the 9th Circuit belies the nature of the appeals system.

When the Supreme Court hears a case, it is more likely to overturn it than not. It does so about two-thirds of the time.

In the last term, the Supreme Court overturned 100 percent of the decisions of the 1st Circuit in Boston, the 3rd Circuit in Philadelphia and the 6th Circuit in Cincinnati. For the 9th Circuit, 86 percent were overturned.

Over the past five years, the Supreme Court overturned a greater percentage of rulings from the 3rd Circuit (92.3 percent), the 6th Circuit (85.1 percent) and the Atlanta-based 11th Circuit (81.8 percent) than from the 9th (77.4 percent), according to The Associated Press’ analysis of statistics from the legal website Scotusblog.

The 9th is by far the largest of the 13 federal courts of appeals, covering Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon and Washington. That means that in raw numbers, more cases are heard and reversed from the 9th year in and year out. But that does not make it the most frequently overturned.

On Monday, U.S. District Judge Jon Tigar, who’d been nominated by Democratic President Barack Obama, temporarily barred the Trump administration from refusing asylum to immigrants who cross the southern border illegally. That set off Trump’s ire. Any appeal is likely to go to the 9th Circuit.

Trump’s tweets took issue with an unusual rebuke from the U.S. chief justice, John Roberts. Roberts spoke up for the independence of the judiciary after Trump branded Tigar an “Obama judge” and said “We do not have Obama judges or Trump judges, Bush judges or Clinton judges.”

___

THE ELECTION

TRUMP, on his impact on the midterm elections: “Look at Florida. I went down to Florida. Rick Scott won and he won by a lot. I don’t know what happened to all those votes that disappeared at the very end. And if I didn’t put a spotlight on that election before it got down to the 12,500 votes, he would’ve lost that election, OK? … They would have taken that election away from him.” – interview with “Fox News Sunday.”

THE FACTS: Trump is exaggerating the vote margin of Scott’s victory as being “a lot” and suggesting without evidence that his own efforts prevented Democrats from engaging in voter fraud.

Scott, Florida’s Republican governor, edged out Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson in the closest Senate race in the nation in the midterm elections – by a margin of 10,033 votes, or 0.12 percentage points. It also was the closest Senate race in Florida since at least 1978, according to the Florida’s Division of Elections website. It required two recounts – by machine and by hand – as mandated by state law due to the razor-thin margins.

Trump asserts without evidence that the attention he brought to the Senate race prevented Democrats from “taking” that election from Scott, hinting at voter fraud by suggesting votes “disappeared at the very end.”

Despite Trump’s repeated claims after the Nov. 6 election of Florida races being potentially “stolen,” the state agencies charged with investigating potential fraud have said no credible allegations exist. It’s not uncommon for vote tallies to change in the days after Election Day as local officials process remaining mailed and provisional ballots. In Florida, Scott saw some of his lead dwindle after the Democratic strongholds of Palm Beach and Broward counties continued to count votes.

___

SYRIA

TRUMP: “The country of Iran, as an example, is responsible for a bloody proxy war against Saudi Arabia in Yemen, trying to destabilize Iraq’s fragile attempt at democracy, supporting the terror group Hezbollah in Lebanon, propping up dictator Bashar Assad in Syria (who has killed millions of his own citizens), and much more.” – statement Tuesday.

THE FACTS: He’s inflating the already staggering number of Syrians killed in more than seven years of civil war. Syrian government forces, led by President Bashar Assad and backed by Russia and Iran, have retaken most of the territory rebels seized during a war that has killed nearly 500,000 people, according to estimates by United Nations and human rights groups.

___

SAUDI ARABIA

TRUMP: “After my heavily negotiated trip to Saudi Arabia last year, the Kingdom agreed to spend and invest $450 billion in the United States. This is a record amount of money. It will create hundreds of thousands of jobs, tremendous economic development, and much additional wealth for the United States. Of the $450 billion, $110 billion will be spent on the purchase of military equipment from Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon and many other great U.S. defense contractors. If we foolishly cancel these contracts, Russia and China would be the enormous beneficiaries – and very happy to acquire all of this newfound business.” – statement Tuesday.

THE FACTS: He’s greatly overstating the value of expected Saudi investments in the U.S.

The arms package, partly negotiated under the Obama administration, mixes old deals, some new business and prospective purchases that have not been worked out.

The Pentagon said last month that Saudi Arabia had signed “letters of offer and acceptance” for only $14.5 billion in military purchases and confirmed Tuesday that nothing further has reached that stage.

Those letters, issued after the U.S. government approves a proposed arms sale, specify its terms. Much of that $14.5 billion involves a missile defense system, a contract that appears to have advanced more than other significant investments but not been completed.

Moreover, the State Department estimated last year that if the full $110 billion in prospective arms business is fulfilled, it could end up “potentially supporting tens of thousands of new jobs in the United States.” That’s a far cry from the 500,000 to 600,000 jobs that Trump has said the arms deal is worth.

Details of the package have been sketchy, with no public breakdown of exactly what was being offered for sale and for how much. The government’s Congressional Research Service has described the package as a combination of sales that were proposed by President Barack Obama and discussed with Congress and new sales still being developed.

Meanwhile, there has been no verification from either country that “the Kingdom agreed to spend and invest $450 billion in the United States,” as Trump put it in his statement. White House spokeswoman Lindsay Walters did not respond to a request to explain the figure.

___

TRUMP: “Oil prices getting lower. Great! Like a big Tax Cut for America and the World. Enjoy! $54, was just $82. Thank you to Saudi Arabia, but let’s go lower!” – tweet Wednesday.

THE FACTS: Merely thanking Saudi Arabia for lower oil prices is a gross oversimplification. Oil prices, which peaked Oct. 3, have been falling on the realization that U.S. sanctions against Iran would not create a shortage and on fear that slower economic growth internationally will depress energy demand.

Although the U.S. is now the world’s biggest oil producer, Saudi Arabia remains the biggest exporter, and as a so-called swing producer with the ability to adjust production up or down relatively quickly, it can indeed influence the price of crude. But the market is far more complex than Trump suggests. Canada is actually the leading source of U.S. oil imports, for example, with Saudi Arabia second.

___

TRUMP: “Saudi Arabia would gladly withdraw from Yemen if the Iranians would agree to leave. They would immediately provide desperately needed humanitarian assistance.” – statement Tuesday.

THE FACTS: This seemingly benign view of Saudi intentions in Yemen does not square with reality on the ground. A Saudi-led blockade is at least partly responsible for widespread starvation in a country where three quarters of the population needs life-saving assistance. It’s the world’s worst humanitarian crisis. The U.S. has scaled back support for the Saudi-led coalition fighting Iranian-backed rebels and is pressing for a cease-fire.

The international aid group Save the Children estimated Wednesday that 85,000 Yemeni children younger than 5 have died of hunger and disease since civil war broke out in 2015. The United Nations says more than 1.3 million Yemeni children have suffered from severe acute malnutrition since the coalition went to war against Houthi rebels.

___

TERRORISM

TRUMP: “Of course we should have captured Osama Bin Laden long before we did. I pointed him out in my book just BEFORE the attack on the World Trade Center. President Clinton famously missed his shot. We paid Pakistan Billions of Dollars & they never told us he was living there. Fools!” – tweet Monday.

THE FACTS: There was nothing original or clairvoyant in the reference to bin Laden in Trump’s 2000 book. As part of his criticism of what he considered Bill Clinton’s haphazard approach to U.S. security as president, his book stated: “One day we’re told that a shadowy figure with no fixed address named Osama bin Laden is public enemy Number One, and U.S. jetfighters lay waste to his camp in Afghanistan. He escapes back under some rock, and a few news cycles later it’s on to a new enemy and new crisis.”

Trump’s book did not call for further U.S. action against bin Laden or al-Qaida to follow up on attacks Clinton ordered in 1998 in Afghanistan and Sudan after al-Qaida bombed the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. The U.S. attacks were meant to disrupt bin Laden’s network and destroy some of al-Qaida’s infrastructure, such as a factory in Sudan associated with the production of a nerve gas ingredient. They “missed” in the sense that bin Laden was not killed in them, and al-Qaida was able to pull off 9/11 three years later.

In passages on terrorism, Trump’s book correctly predicted that the U.S. was at risk of a terrorist attack that would make the 1993 World Trade Center bombing pale by comparison. That was a widespread concern at the time, as Trump suggested in stating “no sensible analyst rejects this possibility.” Trump did not explicitly tie that threat to al-Qaida and thought an attack might come through the use of a miniaturized weapon of mass destruction, like a nuclear device in a suitcase or anthrax.

___

Associated Press writers Seth Borenstein, Robert Burns and Josh Boak in Washington, Jill Colvin in Palm Beach, Florida, and David Koenig in Dallas contributed to this report.

___

Find AP Fact Checks at http://apne.ws/2kbx8bd

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Copyright © 2018 The Washington Times, LLC.

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[deniseyallen]

On Senate Floor, Portman Urges Senate to Pass the STOP Act to Help Combat the Opioid Epidemic

WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S. Senator Rob Portman (R-OH) delivered remarks on the Senate floor today discussing the opioid epidemic gripping Ohio—and our country—and his bipartisan bill that will give law enforcement the tools they need to help identify and stop synthetic opioids from being shipped into the U.S. The Synthetics Trafficking & Overdose Prevention (STOP) Act is Portman-authored legislation designed to help combat addiction on the front end by giving law enforcement the tools to identify and stop dangerous synthetic drugs such as fentanyl and carfentanil from being shipped through our borders through the Postal Service to drug traffickers here in the United States.

A full transcript of his remarks can be found below and a video can be found here.

“The opioid issue, sadly, is gripping my state of Ohio in a way that has caused us to have more deaths by opioids than any other cause of accidental death. But it is not just Ohio. It’s an epidemic because nationally now, it’s the number one cause of accidental death, and for Americans under age 50, it is the number one cause of death, period. This makes it the worst drug epidemic that we’ve faced in this country, worse than you recall back In the 1980s and 1990s when we were very concerned about cocaine and other drugs, this has become the worst drug epidemic that we have ever faced.

“We had a tele-town hall meeting this week where I call several thousand Ohioans; we had about 20,000 people on the call at any one time. And during that call, we have a survey question that asks about opioids. It asks a very simple question: do you know someone who has been personally affected? Have you or do you know someone who has been personally affected by this opioid epidemic? The numbers were shocking this week. Typically it’s more than half of the callers who say yes. That’s how bad it is in Ohio. This week it was 66 percent, two-thirds of the callers, thousands of people in Ohio, reported back from a tele-town hall, so it is not a self-selected group. It’s people who called in to talk about various issues. 66 percent say they know someone who has been directly affected by this opioid addiction issue.

“It is unfolded in three waves. The first wave was really prescription drugs. This was back in the late 1990s into the 2000s. There were pill mills. Other states, Kentucky and West Virginia were hit hard. This was medication that was being abused in many cases, leading to an addiction. The second wave was the heroin wave, which is when heroin became readily available, and was less expensive actually, than prescription drugs, and many people turned to heroin. That heroin led to a lot more overdoses and other issues, including diseases associated with the use of needles, Hepatitis C and others. And now there’s a new wave. And the new wave, sadly, is even more deadly than the first two. And that’s what’s called synthetic opioids or synthetic heroin; the one that you probably heard of is called fentanyl. Sometimes carfentanil also which is even more powerful. It is truly at epidemic levels in my state and it is being made worse by this new wave of synthetic heroin.

  “Now, there are other drugs as well that are affecting us in our country. In my own state in some regions of Ohio, crystal meth now coming up from Mexico is creating a bigger problem. Cocaine is certainly an issue. But it is clear as I’ve looked at the statistics and traveled the state that our number one issue is opioids—and that synthetic opioids, 50 times more potent than heroin, are the new face of the opioid epidemic. Fentanyl was involved in about 37 percent of the deaths in Ohio as recently as 2015. By 2016, it was responsible for 58 percent of the overdose deaths. So from 37 percent to 58 percent in one year. We don’t have all the numbers yet for 2017, but unfortunately, the numbers that we do have from various regions of the state indicate that 2017 is going to be just as bad, if not worse. Columbus, Ohio, as an example has seen a staggering increase in opioid overdoses due to fentanyl. Two-thirds of the county’s 2017 overdose deaths were due to fentanyl. Two-thirds.

“I’m told by law enforcement that fentanyl, again a drug so deadly that a few flakes of it can kill you, has also been sprinkled into other drugs. I’ve talked to recovering addicts who tell me their stories about finding out that they were actually taking fentanyl and they thought they were taking another drug. It’s been sprinkled into other street drugs, according to law enforcement, and some of these recovering addicts I talked to, including cocaine, even including marijuana, including heroin. Just last week there were two men in the Toledo area who were arrested for drug conspiracy with the intent to distribute. A little more than half a pound of fentanyl was seized upon their arrest. This half a pound of fentanyl would be equivalent to about one cup of fentanyl—small enough to fit in a Ziploc baggie in your kitchen. And yet, that one drug seizure of one cup was enough fentanyl, according to the experts, to kill 160,000 people. Remember, just a few flakes of this can kill you. That’s more than half the population of Toledo where this arrest took place. That’s how dangerous these drugs are.

“Fentanyl comes mostly from laboratories in China and mostly it’s shipped to the United States through a federal agency—that’s the United States Postal Service. It’s unbelievable to me that we are not doing more to push back on this, given that it’s actually a government entity through which the experts say most of this fentanyl is coming in, primarily from one country, primarily through the Post Office. We looked into this in an 18-month investigation in the subcommittee I chair. Our investigators revealed just how easy it was to purchase fentanyl online and have it shipped to the United States. The drugs can be found through a simple Google search, and overseas sellers essentially guarantee delivery if the fentanyl is sent through the United States Postal Service.

“By the way, I’ve spent time talking to Postal Service employees about this, including back home in Ohio. They don’t want to be any part of this. Number one, it’s very dangerous—you can imagine—if these packages leak, I talked earlier about the dangers of fentanyl. People can be exposed to it, overdose themselves, even die. Also, they don’t want to be any part of it because they don’t want to see these poisons coming into our country that they’re delivering, going to an empty warehouse or going to a Post Office box, or even delivered to someone’s home, which, based on our investigation, we found all three. We found in several instances that people had received fentanyl through the mail and then had died of overdoses. We were able to track that by hearing who had died and being able to track some of the payments and shipments. So there’s no question that people are receiving fentanyl at their home, taking it, and dying. No one wants to be part of that.

“Why is the Post Office the preferred way for these drugs to come? Why do the traffickers say, ‘if you send it through the Post Office, then delivery is guaranteed’? It’s really pretty simple. The U.S. Post Office is exempt from a federal law that was passed post-9/11. In 2002, Congress passed a law that required the private carriers, FedEx or DHL or UPS to get advanced electronic data from their customers, which would then be provided to law enforcement that would tell law enforcement where the package is from, what’s in the package, and where it is going. With that information, using big data analytics, Customs and Border Protection has been able to identify suspicious packages because they have this data on the packages coming in, every package, 100 percent of the packages. They then are able to pull these packages offline, test them, and not have this poison come into our community. The same is not true, unfortunately, with regard to the U.S. Postal Service.

“Until we began this congressional investigation and began to push the Postal Service, there was very little electronic data being provided on any packages from the Postal Service. How can law enforcement possibly find the suspect packages without having this data and without having good detection equipment to be able to find it? It’s like finding a needle in the haystack. But with this information, they’re able to be much more effective as they have been with these private carriers, DHL, UPS, FedEx and so on. Under pressure from Congress, over the last year or so, the Post Office has been getting some data on the international packages. Last year they received data on about 36 percent of their package, based on the testimony that they have given us, meaning that the United States received about 318 million packages without any of the screening, without any of this data on it at all. So 36 percent is an improvement, but still, the vast majority of packages are not being stopped. By the way, 20 percent of the packages that were identified by law enforcement as being problematic based on the amount of electronic data that was provided, 20 percent of those packages were not presented to law enforcement based on the testimony that we received. Finally, we learned that even though 36 percent of the packages had some sort of data, much of that data was not useful. It was not decipherable, not helpful for law enforcement. So we’ve got a long way to go and we’ve got a crisis in front of us. It’s time for Congress to act because it’s clear to me that the Postal Service needs this congressional mandate to more expeditiously close this loophole that’s allowing this deadly poison to continue coming into our homes, onto our streets. Again, this is the number one killer in my home state of Ohio. And when you look nationally, this is the new face of the opioid epidemic.

“There’s legislation to deal with this. It’s called the STOP Act, a bipartisan bill I Introduced with Senator Amy Klobuchar. She spoke earlier on the floor. We talked earlier about getting this legislation passed. This legislation will close the loophole. It will ensure that our international mail screening takes place, and it will stop some of this deadly fentanyl from coming into our communities. It will simply hold the Post Office to the same standard as private mail carriers and require that within one year, they get electronic data on all packages entering the United States. It’s fair. It’s common sense. And it’s going to make a big difference in our communities. By the way, that’s why about one-third of the Senate and about half of the House of Representatives have already signed on as cosponsors of our legislation. It’s bipartisan. It’s bicameral. The president’s opioid commission—you remember President Trump asked a bunch of experts to come together led by Governor Chris Christie to have a commission to look at this opioid issue and to come up with recommendations. One of the recommendations: pass the STOP Act, keep some of this fentanyl out of our country.

“Last week the House Ways & Means Committee took up our legislation. And I appreciate them doing that. Sadly, what they reported out was a weaker version of the STOP Act than is necessary to be able to address this problem. Their version gives the Post Office, as an example, four years to be able to implement these changes—at a time when this is a crisis. Remember, it’s increasing every year to the point of being the number one cause of death in my state and in many other states. It also only requires them to get data on 95 percent of packages, not 100 percent eventually. It also gives the federal government the ability to waive the requirement altogether if it is, and I quote, ‘in the national security interest of the United States.’ I’d hate to see them use that waiver. How could it possibly be the national security interest of the United States of America not to have information to give to law enforcement to stop something this deadly from coming into our country? That makes no sense.

“I know from what I’ve seen and heard in Ohio that we need this and we need it now. We need this data on all foreign packages. That is in our national security interest, not setting lower screening standards or creating a loophole to evade accountability. I’m encouraged that the Ways & Means Committee Chairman Kevin Brady has acknowledged these concerns. And by the way, having spoken to him, he has a passion for addressing this issue. I know he is personally committed to coming up with legislation that works. We need to resolve these differences, get this legislation to the floor of the House and the Senate, and get it passed so that we can begin to stop the fentanyl flooding into our country.

“It is at the forefront of the epidemic we see around the country. It’s taking lives. It’s sidelining workers. It’s causing crime, the number-one cause of crime in my state is related to opioids. Often it’s the criminal acts that are committed, such as burglary, shoplifting, and fraud to be able to pay for the habit. It’s crippling communities. It’s breaking families apart. It’s doing so at an alarming rate. This morning we had testimony in the Senate Committee on Finance regarding rural health care, and some of the providers were talking about the fentanyl crisis. I asked them what they’re doing about it and how it’s going, particularly with regard to these kids who are born with what’s called Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome, meaning they are born to an addicted mother and they have to be taken through withdrawal as a baby. These little babies you could hold in the palm of your hand having to go through withdrawal. And they told me the foster care system in their states is overwhelmed. Mine is in Ohio. We have more kids under the state supervision in foster care than ever. We can’t find foster families fast enough because so many of the families are unable to take care of these kids. There are more grandparents and great-grandparents than ever having to step forward to take care of these kids. It’s affecting our communities in so many ways.

“The STOP Act alone isn’t going to solve all of these problems. We get that. We passed legislation around here in the last year and a half to increase prevention and education, to increase treatment and longer-term recovery. That’s very important and we need to do more of it. We have new legislation to take that to the next level. But combatting this crisis at its source by making it harder for drugs to enter our country is certainly a step we can and should take. It’s common sense. At the very least, it will reduce supply and help to drive up the cost of this drug because one of our problems is, this drug is so powerful but it’s also so relatively inexpensive. We have an opportunity with the STOP Act to make a real difference for families and every single state represented in this chamber. If you’re not already a cosponsor, I hope you’ll join us in this effort. If you are a cosponsor and support this, I hope you’ll talk to your leadership on both sides of the aisle. Let’s get this to the floor and get a vote. Let’s be sure we’re doing everything we possibly can to stop this poison.” 

###

from Rob Portman http://www.portman.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/press-releases?ContentRecord_id=98AD0A25-F666-45D3-9088-F9147E175C7A

[foursprouthealth-blog]

The Simple Spanish Habits That Helped Me Drop 100 Pounds

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The Simple Spanish Habits That Helped Me Drop 100 Pounds

When I landed in Spain, I was a full 240 pounds, courtesy of the Standard American Diet. Though a lifelong vegetarian, I was carrying the heft of readily available, fast, processed foods. But after three years of living in Madrid, I’ve lost 100 pounds—just by adopting a Spanish lifestyle.

While size isn’t necessarily an indicator of health, I was on a quest to trim down my body, so I began studying the differences in the culture I’m from and the one I was immersed in. Without considerable effort, I started noticing my body changing and my clothes hanging in places they once clung. Soon, my third floor apartment felt closer and easier to get to than the first time I reached the doormat, panting, and hopping on the metro for anything closer than three stops became a thing of the past.

The best part is that everything I learned from living abroad can be applied no matter where in the world you live.

1. Use olive oil—but only the good stuff.

There’s no fear of fat here: Whether dipped, drizzled, or deep-fried, oil is clearly the condiment of choice in Spain. In fact, the country consistently ranks among the top three consumers of olive oil in the world. But it’s not only an issue of quantity; Spaniards are serious about the quality of their beloved aceite de oliva. Like perfume, the idea is to buy the best you can possibly afford.

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I’m still an American, of course, and so I use a misting sprayer, which allows me to infuse foods with the sharp and pungent taste of olive oil without adding hundreds of calories to each meal (or blowing my paycheck on a bottle that lasts weeks). Of course, on weekends when socializing with friends, anything goes. In Spain, bars full of svelte people holding a beer or wine in one hand and an olive oil-soaked snack in the other is a common sight, after all.

2. Keep portions in check with tapas-style plates.

Tapas themselves aren’t always healthy, but the concept of eating several small plates is. Variety and multiple dishes on the table make for a gratifying meal. Pimientos de Padrón, or mild, pan-sautéed peppers, is my go-to dish when eating out in bars. With luck, there will also be a selection of traditional offerings, such as meaty Campo Real olives, chilies stuffed with garlic cloves, and pickles on a toothpick. Other salty favorites include Marcona almonds, anchovies, and paper-thin potato chips.

At home, I use tea saucers to create the appearance of a feast with the same amount of food I’d typically have on a large plate. It doesn’t make cleanup easier, but it’s fulfilling.

3. Walking is a great way to burn calories…

While Madrid has a vast network of public transportation options, the general rule of thumb is if it’s less than a kilometer, walk it. No matter the hour of the day, people are using the ample sidewalks and strolling arm-in-arm for a paseo.

4. …and relatedly, the stairs are your friend.

Fourth-floor walk-ups are the norm in many cities, with elevators often left for the elderly. In the metro, it’s common practice to skip the escalator in favor of taking the stairs and working up a small sweat. There’s also a sense of community with this: When the person in front of you opts to be healthy, it motivates you to do the same.

5. Eat your five meals.

La merienda is the Spanish term for mid-morning and late-afternoon snacks. Typical dishes are tortilla española (a.k.a. a potato omelet), a small sandwich, or a pastry. La merienda is a great way to keep your metabolism going and avoid exaggerated hunger pangs—which can later cause overeating or poor choices. Personally, I try to pack fresh fruit or a stash of julienned vegetables, as raw foods keep me mentally alert and energized.

6. Indulge in the experience of each meal.

The menú del dia, or daily menu, is a Spanish tradition; restaurants advertise lunch menus consisting of two courses, bread, a drink, and usually a dessert. Portions are kept small, but various courses and beverages can make any meal feel very satisfying. While it sounds like a lot of food, many restaurants offer light options—and dessert can always be exchanged for a coffee.

7. There’s even a word for lingering around the table: sobremesa.

The Spanish have perfected the art of hanging around the table after a meal. Plates are piled up, glasses are in various stages of fullness, and conversations begin to really pick up at the end of the meal. This time allows you to feel full, and a customary glass of wine helps you digest the meal. In Spain, there is no pressure to eat quickly—in fact, it can be tricky to get a waiter to bring the bill when you want to leave!

8. Eat local as often as possible.

Spain is overflowing with fruits and vegetables. This is a country known for its persimmons, custard apples, potatoes, and tomatoes. When summer comes, the nation turns to fresh, juicy foods. One of the most wonderful parts of dining out is the wide variety of gazpacho, a cold tomato soup flavored with cucumber, peppers, and garlic that’s blended to a puree and topped with a thick glug of olive oil to give it a silky, gorgeous texture.

9. Fresh is best.

Around 6 p.m., it’s common to see people walking the streets with a nibbled-on loaf of bread tucked under their arm. Most panaderias, or bakeries, also sell small rolls, which allow you to keep portions in check while participating in this daily carb pilgrimage. And there’s nothing like tearing into a hot piece of bread, is there?

The same goes for buying fresh vegetables at the local fruteria—everyone has their go-to shop that keeps their favorites on hand, so it’s common to pass by the shop on the way home to pick up a single bell pepper, a head of broccoli, or bag of Valencia oranges. On Fridays, it’s customary to visit the pescaderia (fish market) around the corner!

While it’s common practice in Spain, you can adopt the habit of buying fresh fruit and vegetables wherever you live.

10. Start the day with pan con tomate.

Rub a slice of toasted baguette with a clove of garlic, top with blended tomato, splash with olive oil, and sprinkle with salt. This traditional Spanish breakfast is an easy way to eat good-for-you foods in the morning. Tip: Blend a few tomatoes at the beginning of the week to have on hand, and you’ve just made this a super-achievable 30-second prep.

After years in Spain, I recently returned to the U.S. for a visit and experienced some reverse culture shock (and weight gain) due to the difference in our transportation and eating habits. The quantity of food served in restaurants was overwhelming, free beverage refills snuck hundreds of additional calories into a single meal, and the sheer availability of processed foods for bargain prices was staggering. It’s possible to eat and live well anywhere in the world, but after eight years of traveling the world, I’m doubling down on la vida Española!

Brandy Bell is a freelance travel writer, housesitter, creative producer, and Spainaholic. Find her writing at ItsOneWorldTravel.com, film collaborations on MadalinT.com, and on Instagram and Twitter as @brandyleebell.