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closedafterdark · 4 years ago

Text

Conflicted

BLΛƆKPIИK Chaeyoung x Male Reader

7929 words

categories: smut, oral, angst

note: special thanks to @sharpfeelings for all the help with this.

Read on AFF

“Open up! We know you’re in there!”

Two women look at each other, nodding before the taller of the two kicks the door open.

Drawing their guns, they use the built-in flashlight and search the apartment.

“Bathroom’s clear.”

Bedroom’s clear too.”

Reconvening back in the living room, the two look around at the apartment. Despite it being empty, it was evident someone was living here.

“They’re gone. They probably knew we were coming.”

“Goddamn it! First lead we have in weeks and the prime suspect is already gone.”

“Jooyeon unnie. It’ll be alright.”

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Son Jooyeon looks to her side and sees Detective Lee Jinsook staring back and giving her a weak yet reassuring smile. Jinsook was sort of an anomaly. Not exactly green enough to be considered a rookie, yet not having been with the squad the necessary amount of time to be classified as a Senior Detective. Graduating from the academy at the minimum age required to do so, Jinsook was assigned to Starship Precinct as a bright, wide-eyed rookie. Having accumulated several years of experience under the guidance of you, Jiyeon and Jooyeon, Jinsook grew to be much more serious. Still maintaining her friendly demeanor when not on the field, she learned to approach situations cautiously and address all possible outcomes when making a decision.

“You’re right.” Jooyeon said, tapping Jinsook’s hand softly and responding with her own soft smile. “It’s just… this is my first assigned case for the Senior Detective promotion. Usually oppa or Jiyeon unnie would be the one leading everything. And with the Captain wanting to promote you and I... I just don’t want to fuck up.”

“Fucking up is a part of learning.” Jinsook began. Jooyeon’s eyes widened slightly, surprised at hearing how casually her partner cursed. “You guys taught me it’s okay to mess up so long as you use it to improve yourself.”

“Since when have you begun giving life advice? Usually it’s the other way around.” Jooyeon teased.

Jinsook pouted at her, giving her the cutest angry glare before heading for the door.

“Hmph!”

Jooyeon softly laughs as she also heads for the door.

“Oh, unnie.”

“Hmm?”

“Jiyeon unnie called the Captain today. She should be returning in a few days.” Jinsook said, turning back as she gave a genuine expression of worry to Jooyeon.

“You haven’t talked to her since the incident, right?”

Jooyeon shook her head, smiling slightly.

“She and I rarely talk to each other anymore.” Jooyeon began, her eyes beginning to glisten. “If anything, she’s closer with the Lieutenant nowadays. I can’t remember the last time Jiyeon unnie and I hungout, just the two of us.”

“Doesn’t help that you slept with her boyfriend, either.”

“H-Hey!” Jooyeon said, softly hitting Jinsook. “She and oppa are on a break.”

“I know you like oppa, unnie. But all three of your relationships will change if you and him get together. You know oppa will prioritize you and unnie’s friendship.”

“I know.” Jooyeon sighed. “It’s just… I really like him. And when we slept together, he made me feel so loved. I just want him.”

“Unnie…” Jinsook said, pulling Jooyeon in for a hug. The two embrace each other for several minutes, Jinsook rubbing the older woman’s bag as she comforts her. When the two let go, Jooyeon wipes away the tears built up. This causes them to laugh slightly and has relaxed her worries.

“Come on unnie, let’s go get some food. Nothing like a tall glass of beer and some spicy barbecue to calm our nerves. Plus, it’ll be fun listening to you talk about oppa while buzzed.” She said, heading for the door. Taking one last look around the empty apartment, Jooyeon is about to leave when something catches the corner of her eye. Kneeling down, she finds a thin piece of slightly durable paper. Black in color, only four words are printed on it in a pink color with a crown emblem.

“How you like that?” Jooyeon read aloud. Taking out her phone, she scrolled through her camera roll and found a photo of the first calling card left behind during the Gangnam Precinct escapes. Contrasting the one she just found, it was a pink background with black font and a square emblem.

“BlackPink in your area…” She said, scrunching her nose. “Just what are they up to?”

You wandered the empty Gangnam streets, surprised at the lack of foot traffic on a random Wednesday afternoon. Not even a full 12 hours have passed since your date and subsequent intimate moment with Son Jooyeon, a colleague you have grown close to ever since she joined the squad, confessing her feelings for you. Not to mention the fact that you and your girlfriend Kim Jiyeon were currently going through a break. Your thoughts are interrupted as you see a woman with long, blonde hair struggle to pick up various congratulatory flower pots. Quickly going to her, you pick up the pot from her arms and bring it inside the shop.

“Oh my, thank you so much!” the woman said, wiping the sweat on her forehead.

“It’s no problem.” you said. “Always happy to help someone in need.” When the two of you make eye contact, you realized she seemed familiar. Stealing a few more glances at her caused you to figure out she was the same woman who helped you choose flowers to bring to Jiyeon at the hospital. It seems she has recognized you as well.

“Oh…” you said to each other.

“Nice to see you again.” the woman said, giving you a smile. Her appearance has changed from the last time you saw her a few days ago. Her long brown hair was now a silky gold color. Her striking makeup was replaced with more natural tones, opting to equip herself with a thin eyeliner and rosy pink lips.

“It’s nice to see you again as well. Didn’t realize I walked all the way over here.” you said, carrying the last of the flower pots inside. As she followed you, she grabbed a spray bottle and tended to the various plants that lined the walls of the boutique. Her side profile caught your attention, as you took notice of her sharp eyes and cute pointed nose.

“So, what brings you by? Did your girlfriend like the flowers you picked out?” She said, returning to the back of the counter to sort through customer’s orders. When she didn’t hear you respond, she turned around and saw the sadness in your eyes. “What happened?”

“She liked the flowers you helped me pick out. But... decided we should take some time apart.” you said, remembering how you accused Jiyeon of being involved in Luda’s case.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…” she said, sincerity heard in her voice.

“Don’t be, it’s alright. She’s a very emotional person so I understand. We’ve had fights before but I kinda messed things up this time so I’m willing to give her all the space she needs.”

“I’m sure everything will work out between you two.” she said, flashing you her trademark smile. She possessed an elegant vibe to her, a classness you could exactly pinpoint specifically. She spoke in a lower register, which was easily complemented by an exotic accent that made every word sound like honey to you.

“Thank you. I couldn’t help but notice your accent. I guess you aren’t from here?” you asked, wanting to smoothly change topics.

“Ah, yes. I’m actually from Australia. I was actually born in Auckland but moved to Melbourne when I was 7. My parents still live out there and my sister visits me here from time to time. But in my heart, I will always be a Kiwi.” she replied.

“I take it you didn’t move all the way over here just to run a flower shop.” you said.

The woman laughed. “No I didn’t, actually. I came here because I wanted to be a singer. I went to many auditions and went through the training process to debut, but it wasn’t my thing. The extreme dieting, the company pointing out every one of my “flaws”. And the hair dye. God, that stupid fucking hair dye. I had to bleach my hair so many times, my scalp is so dry and my hair is fried.” She picked up strands of her hair to show you how damaged it had become, losing its natural oils. Her hair was slightly frizzy and riddled with split ends.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” you said, unsure of what response would be appropriate.

She shook her head. “You know, despite all of that. I don’t regret any of it. The company I was signed to allowed me to meet some really great people. The final lineup for the group I was in contained myself and three other girls. And although we never got to debut, I’m happy. We went through a lot together, and while we now all live separately, it’s in the same apartment complex so we’re practically neighbors.”

“Sounds like all that trouble was worth it if you made such great friends.”

“It was. Although, sometimes I kinda wished we debuted you know? They were planning on having me be the main vocalist.”

“I’d love to hear you sing sometime.”

“Mmm, that depends.”

“On what?” you said, tilting your head in curiosity.

“I don’t sing for free.” she teased.

“I don’t seem to have any money on me at the moment…” you said, rummaging through your pockets and opening up your wallet.

“I’m just kidding.” she said, laughing. “I don’t need the money. Although, I could never say no to a nice meal.”

“Are you asking me out on a date, miss?” you said, raising your eyebrow slightly.

“What, me? I would never.” she replied, feigning innocence. You noticed her cheeks begin to blush slightly as she coughed cutely and turned away.

“I never said it was a bad thing.” you said, laughing slightly. “But I don’t even know your name. Would be rude of me to not know the name of the person I was going on a date with.”

“I-It’s Roseanne.” she said nervously. “Roseanne Park. But here in Korea, I go by Chaeyoung.”

“Roseanne… that’s a pretty name.” you said. “Any preference on what you like to be called?”

“My friends usually call me Rosie or Chaeng. And I formally go by the name Rosé. But you can call me whatever you like. Just as long as you call me later.” she said, handing you a black business card with pink colored font on it. You observed it, taking note of a rose with the petals designed in the shape of a crown.

“I didn’t expect you to be so smooth. Do you always flirt with customers like this?” you asked.

“No no, I’m not that kind of girl. Well... maybe only to the cute ones.” she said, winking playfully. “Just wanted to share a meal as a thank you for helping me out with those pots my friends sent me. And it seems like you could use someone to talk to.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” you said, waving the business card in the air as thanks before heading for the door.

“I’ll be off in a few hours. Call me then.”

You smiled at her and waved as you left. When you disappear from sight, Chaeyoung returned to tending the flowers inside the shop. She hears the bell chime as the door is opened once more.

“You’re back already? I didn’t expect you to-”

Turning around, Chaeyoung is met by a woman with dark hair slightly taller than her. She quickly bows her head in apology, the woman doing the same.

“I’m so sorry. I had a customer leave just now and thought you were them.”

“It’s alright.” the woman said, smiling.

“What brings you in today, ma’am?” Chaeyoung asked.

The woman fumbles around her pockets before taking something out and opening it up.

“Son Jooyeon, Starship Precinct Senior Detective. I was wondering if you’ve seen anything out of the ordinary recently.”

“No, nothing at all. We’ve been closed the past few days as I was recovering from a bad case of a cold.”

“There’s been a string of high profile robberies lately and we’ve been going to each business asking if they’ve seen any suspicious activity. I apologize for the intrusion.”

“Oh no, it’s perfectly fine. You’re just doing your job. I haven’t been here due to being sick. I even have these terrible tasting capsules I have to consume daily.” Chaeyoung said, holding up a bottle with a disgusted look on her face.

Just then, Jooyeon’s phone began to ring.

“Detective Son speaking. Really… Understood. I’ll be there shortly.”

Hanging up, Jooyeon returned her attention to Chaeyoung. “Sorry about that. Thank you again for your cooperation. Have a good day.”

“Wait, Detective!”

Jooyeon turned around. “If you don’t mind me asking, where did you get that flower?” Chaeyoung pointed to the one currently resting inside her hair.

“Ah, it was given to me by someone very special. Have a good day, ma’am.” Jooyeon said, bowing. As she left, Chaeyoung couldn’t help but think about how familiar that specific flower looked.

It didn’t take very long for several hours to pass. You indeed called Chaeyoung, slightly nervous that you would be viewed as desperate to accept her offer if you did so too early. She told you to give her an extra hour in order to freshen up and prepare for the date, texting you her address and the location of the restaurant you two would be eating at. You decided to take the time to have yourself presentable as well.

Arriving outside what you believed to be was her apartment complex, you were barely able to release a hi as Chaeyoung excitedly told you to start driving. Neither of you spoke during the car ride as she cycled through the various radio stations and recited the lyrics to the various songs she liked. Her sweet voice filled the vehicle with happiness as the two of you drove to the restaurant’s location.

Once you arrived, and earned compliments from Chaeyoung by placing your hand on the passenger side headrest while reversing the vehicle with your left hand, you arrived at the location of your date. The outside of the restaurant looked dated, paint chipping on the walls and windows that have been scratched up. Getting out of the vehicle, you quickly ran to the passenger’s side and opened the door for Chaeyoung.

“Such a gentleman.” she said, accepting your hand to help her out of the car.

Park Chaeyoung wore a very elegant look - black skinny jeans that showed off her long legs and nicely sculpted thighs, a white button up shirt tucked in with a skinny black tie, a heather gray blazer that complimented her outfit nicely even though it was slightly big on her, and a white designer bag that she wore on her body. Her blonde hair that she cursed about was neatly combed, not a singular hair out of place. The black knee high boots she wore were so perfectly fitting, you weren’t sure where they ended and her jeans began. She wore minimal makeup, choosing only to equip herself with pink lipstick. The people who passed by began to silently whisper to each other about how beautiful she looked. Chaeyoung looked ready to have her photo taken on a fashion runway in any minute, not having dinner with a customer she asked out.

“Your finest bottle of red wine, please.” Chaeyoung said as she handed the menu to the waiter. Looking at you, you quickly told the waiter your order and followed suit.

“Isn’t this place a bit too fancy?” you asked, scanning the room. All the employees wore black ties. You knew this was a fancy restaurant the moment you saw the waiters draping a towel on their arm as they tipped the wine bottle without letting the tip hit the rim of the glass. But what really tipped you off were the prices and the various plates of food arriving. The small portions of food inside such large plates.

“The steak here is amazing. And the lobster is caught fresh everyday.” Chaeyoung said. “Plus, it’s your treat.”

“I’m sorry, what?” you said, coughing after you drank water too quickly while listening to her talk. She looked at you confused.

“You’re the one who asked me out. Shouldn’t the person who does so pay?”

“But you’re the guy. Think about how people would react if I had to pay for the meal.”

“Wow, you really are something Park Chaeyoung. Times really should change. Women are able to pay fully for dates too.” you replied.

“So tell me about yourself.” Chaeyoung said as the food arrived. She cut into her steak delicately, the meat sliced with little pressure from the knife as your eyes are met with a perfectly medium rare center. Taking the piece in her fork, she uses it to wipe the sauce on her plate before putting it into her mouth. Despite the elegant environment, Chaeyoung stuffed her face. You smiled seeing her cute cheeks expand with food as she hums in satisfaction with each bite. And while you still weren’t sure if this was a date or not, you were happy to spend time with a beautiful woman who could eat well.

“What’s there to say… my life is pretty boring. Everyone thinks being a detective means I get to experience dead bodies or intense hostage situations on a daily basis. But really, it’s a lot of paperwork and sitting in front of a computer. I graduated from the academy a bit later than others. Being a beat cop for a year was very boring. During my very first field assignment, I forgot to carry a set of cuffs. I’ve had the same routine for the past four years up until three days ago. For the first time in forever, I have more time to myself than I know what to do with. So, I’m just taking things day by day.”

When you finally finished talking, you saw Chaeyoung staring at you. Her mouth was agape as the piece of steak on her fork was raised midair. You laughed at seeing her in shock. Snapping your fingers, her attention returned to you.

“Was I boring you?” you said, laughing.

“No! No, it’s just... that sounded so cool.” Chaeyoung said, choosing her words carefully. “I wish I had more structure in my life. It feels like I’m finally able to do what I want but don’t know where to begin.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to be free. Live in the moment and let things happen. Too much structure and routine is a hard habit to break.”

Chaeyoung smiles at you as she finishes her glass of wine and flags down the waitress to ask for another bottle. You sighed, your wallet was going to cry by the time the meal was over.

With both of your stomachs full - Chaeyoung’s more than yours, you sat inside your car and relaxed. You almost went into cardiac arrest once the waiter arrived with the final bill, but seeing her beautiful eye smile caused you to shake your head and smile as you gave them your card and signed the check.

At her insistence, the two of you drove to a bubble tea shop. You claimed to be full - an obvious excuse as you didn’t want your wallet to bleed any further. Chaeyoung hit your shoulder as she realized what you meant and told you she would pay. After waiting several minutes, Chaeyoung hears her name being called and picked up her order. Holding onto the tray, she hands you a bubble tea.

“What’s this?” you asked.

“Something sweet as a thank you for paying.” Chaeyoung said as she sipped her bubble tea cutely. You watched her cheeks huff as she closed her eyes in excitement.

While the two of you consume your drinks, you tell her about a story from your rookie days when you overslept and left your house so quickly, you forgot to put on pants. She laughed at every joke, even some that weren’t funny at all. You were thankful, enjoying her company as it provided you a distraction from your current struggles in the romance department.

Your conversation is cut short when the both of you feel droplets hitting you. Looking down, you see the cold sidewalk begin to be pelted with polka dot stains that gradually increase into pouring rain. The customers enjoying their drinks and the nighttime ambience quickly enter the shop, as you look to Chaeyoung and seemingly tell her to head to the car with your eyes. Neither of you carrying an umbrella, you do your best to shield her from the rain with your hands while the two of you run to the car.

The two of you set off aimlessly, the windshield wipers set on the maximum setting as you try your best to make out the road ahead of you. You look to your side and see Chaeyoung visibly nervous. She looks back at you when she feels your hand placed atop hers as you gently squeeze it and give her a warm smile.

“It’s pouring out there. I don’t think we’ll be able to get home. It’s not safe to drive right now.” you said.

“There’s a hotel a few miles from where we’re currently at.” Chaeyoung said, scrolling through her phone.

“You sure that’s okay?”

“It’s either that or we risk our lives in the blinding rain.”

“Fair enough. Just input the address in the navigation system.”

What should have been a 20 minute drive became 40 as the directions sent you off in a route that was longer than needed. Wanting to give up half an hour in, Chaeyoung provided moral support and cheered you on when you took a 5 minute breather. Luckily, there was one open vacancy available when you arrived.

The room was simple yet fairly spacious. One bed, a large desk with a built in television and writing area, a mini fridge fully stocked with overpriced snacks, and a balcony with what normally has a nice view of Seoul’s downtown area. Entering the bathroom, you noticed it fully stocked as well along with two pearly white bathrobes. Grabbing a towel, you freshen up by splashing cold water on your face. Looking at your reflection in the mirror, you wondered how you got into this situation.

You were thankful for a fun day with Chaeyoung, but expected to be relaxing in your own apartment by now, not in a hotel room very late at night. When you exited, you saw Chaeyoung trying to reach for the window curtain wand to give the room more privacy. You laughed softly seeing her struggle and chose to observe her. She tries with all of her might, standing on her tiptoes. Finally getting the wand she turns around and is greeted by you smiling at her. Feeling embarrassed, she turns around quickly before stumbling her footing. Seeing her about to fall, you managed to grab onto her before the two of you landed on the bed. The two of you locked eyes, both of you having neutral expressions. You can hear your heartbeat rapidly increasing as you feel Chaeyoung’s soft breath coming from her nose.

“I should go take a bath…” you said, trying to excuse yourself from the situation. Slowly getting up, you feel yourself pushed back onto the bed as Chaeyoung’s expression has changed. No longer was the shy, innocent woman staring at you. The look you saw in her eyes was one you knew all too well, a look that Jiyeon gave you at work whenever she felt stressed. Lust.

“Stay. I… I want you. Please.” Chaeyoung begged, her accent lacing each word with pure seduction.

The seriousness of her tone left you far more aroused than you would like to admit. Chaeyoung leaned down and pressed her lips against yours. They had a unique softness to them, feeling like they could melt away from the heat your own were providing. Your breaths began to get heavy as your arms wrapped behind her back and pulled her closer to you. Chaeyoung nibbled on your lower lip, allowing further entry as she pushed her tongue inside your mouth. The two of you fought for control over the other as you helped her out of her coat. Chaeyoung rolled over so that you were on top of her as you both began unbuttoning each other’s shirts. She quickly loosened her tie and threw it into a far off corner of the room.

Both of your tongues and hands explored and searched each other. Your mouths locked together the entire time, with your hands wanting to explore her milky soft skin, slightly annoyed at her cute yet still present clothing being worn. Freeing each other of your shirts, you see Chaeyoung shyly brush as her lacy red bra is exposed to you. Her breasts were on the smaller side, but enough of a handful for you to play with.

Wanting to be back on the bottom, the two of you free each other of your pants until you are both left in your underwear. Chaeyoung’s cute bubble butt complimented her thighs, which were now locked onto your lap. You felt her rub her crotch back and forth against your cloth imprisoned shaft. Running your hands across her smooth thighs, you stop when it is in front of her underwear. You felt the heat radiating from her, Chaeyoung’s perfume hypnotizing you with its intoxicating smell. Grabbing onto her hips, you gently lower her back onto the bed. Your hands move back down, grasping the helm of her sheer laced panties and pull them down. You find, much to your delight, that she is already leaking as it dribbles out of her.

Pulling you back in for a kiss, you reciprocate her earlier action and bite her lower lip while simultaneously sucking on it. Chaeyoung moans as you leave a trail of kisses down her neck and chest, coating her skin and faintest amount of cleavage with your saliva. Your kisses continue as you make sure not to leave out her tummy. Chaeyoung’s moans rapidly increase in volume as you get closer to her thighs. Upon reaching the inner apex of them, you add strong licks and paint her inner creases with your tongue. You lick your lips in satisfaction upon being face to face with her inviting warmth.

You marvel at the sight of her long, milky legs as her soft thighs do little to prevent them from being closed. As her lips glisten from her juices, you watched Chaeyoung gently run her middle finger between her folds until it reaches the bottom. Dragging it slowly upward, she adds her index finger and traces the outline of her lips. She touches herself softly, her erotic moans complemented by her accent. You watched her eyes slowly close as the pleasure began to course through her body. Her breathing becomes hitched, but she manages to regain enough composure to open her eyes and smile seeing you enamoured by the show she is displaying for you. Her voice has become soft, but no less lacking in desire.

“Please… taste me.”

You returned to the previous position you were in when you removed her panties, swiftly removing your boxers and freeing your hard cock. Controlling yourself, you began by planting soft kisses on her thighs. You enjoyed the feeling of her soft, milky skin each time your lips made contact with them. You caressed her legs, taking note of how muscled yet tender her skin was at the same time. Chaeyoung’s body was slim, but her thighs were a sight to behold.

You continued leaving kisses, repeating the process on her other leg until you were finally back where you started - in between her legs. Believing you have given an adequate amount of time for foreplay and teasing, you dive right in. You stick your tongue out to taste the bottom of her slit. Chaeyoung gasps as she feels you make contact with her for the very first time. Her gasps quickly turn into long, satisfied moans as you press your tongue against her lips and give her deep, strong licks.

You wanted to savor every inch of Chaeyoung, a woman you’ve only met twice and were technically still on a date with at the moment. Her drawn out, erotic melody moans keep your attention focused on what is in front of you. Giving her slow licks, you savor the rapidly dampening flesh until you finally suck her clit.

“Oh fuck, that feels so good.”

Chaeyoung runs her fingers through your hair until it rests behind your head. Using both of her hands, you feel her nails digging into your scalp. It is painful, but is well worth it knowing you’re giving her body pleasure. The moans that escape her mouth each time you lick and suck her delicious folds motivates you to continue.

You hold onto her hips as your thumbs gently part her lips even more. The wet flesh feels so soft and inviting. You move your tongue in a wave motion as you give her rapid fast licks. You consumed the nectar leaking out of her, savoring its sweet taste. Getting accustomed to you eating her pussy, Chaeyoung was not prepared when you surprised her by biting her clit.

“Oh… fuck!” she shouted, closing her eyes as her voice was so intense that the pleasure coursed through her body. A bit surprised at how suddenly she came, you are quickly pushed between her legs. Chaeyoung feels the same way as she wraps her legs behind you and pushes your head deeper. Her taste and aroma felt intoxicating, the both of you experiencing a high that could not be replicated by any drug.

Eventually, her body stops violently shaking as her body tense up. She was unable to move her limbs from the pleasure. You were content with yourself, satisfied at your partner’s reaction to your oral skills. You consumed whatever you could, replacing her leaking juices with kisses all over her lower body as you waited for her to recover.

“Fuck… that was… fuck…”

She finally opened her eyes and saw you licking your lips, enjoying the taste of her juices on your tongue. You gave her pussy a deep, long kiss before mirroring your earlier actions and replacing your soft kisses on her tummy earlier. Reaching behind herself, Chaeyoung unhooks her bra and finally frees her chest.

Her eyes were a mix of slight satisfaction and another emotion you couldn’t quite tell. It looked like an unquenchable lust. But it carried a heaviness to it, an appearance of a woman who wanted to be loved.

You climbed back upwards until you were both at eye level, your arms supporting yourself on the bed. Chaeyoung gives you the same sweet smile from earlier at the bubble tea shop that warms your heart as you lower your face to hers and press your own lips against hers. The two of you shared a rather passionate kiss, her arms wrapping around your neck as you feel her legs spread open. She whines softly when you break the kiss, but it quickly becomes a moan as her soft skin is given copious amounts of kisses on her cheeks, neck and upper chest.

Bringing your hand to her right breast, you fondle it as your mouth takes in her left breast. Her nipple begins to harden as you tease it with your tongue. The breast you are fondling is given the same treatment as you gently rub it between your index finger and thumb, pinching it gently. Although they were small, her breasts were inviting. You truly wanted to savor Chaeyoung’s skin, as her long, drawn out sultry moans let you know she was enjoying it as much as you.

Your eyes were on Chaeyoung the entire time. Seeing her head tilt back as the steady stream of moans continued. She looked down and seemed to have read your mind.

“C-Can… Can you fuck me now? Please. Fuck me, please baby.”

As you line your bodies up, you are about to tease her when you feel Chaeyoung grab onto your thighs.

“I… want to be fucked from behind.” she said, her words mere needy whispers.

Giving yourself a few quick strokes, you roll Chaeyoung onto her stomach before pushing yourself forward into her wet pussy. Few feelings could outdo the sensation of entering a woman for the very first time. Despite the many times you’ve done so, it always gave you genuine excitement and satisfaction. Jiyeon and Jooyeon were tight in their own regard, but Chaeyoung made them feel like a hollowed out cave.

Chaeyoung’s body reacted to you being inside her by moving her hips and cute round butt against your cock. Both of you savored the feeling of your hard flesh inside her pussy.

“Oh fuck, baby… Fuck me… Please fuck me…”

Removing your cock from her body, you are delighted to see it glistening in her juices as it appears from between her soft buttcheeks. You withdraw yourself until only the tip of your cock is left inside her before thrusting back inside, your shaft spreading her lips and entering her warm, inviting flesh.

It doesn’t take very long for you to establish a rhythm with which to fuck Chaeyoung from behind with. Having sex with a woman on her hands and knees in front of you was your favorite position - next to a woman being on her knees with your cock in her mouth. And while you’ve had your fair share of women before Jiyeon that you considered to be tight, all of them would be put to shame by Chaeyoung. Unlike sex with Jooyeon, a coworker and close friend, sex with Chaeyoung was quite possibly on par with Jiyeon - an affirmation of a romantic relationship between two people who discovered feelings for each other. While it was still the physical action of sex, it was a way your bodies spoke to each other to confirm your feelings through pleasure.

You felt Chaeyoung’s hips wriggle with each thrust of your own inside her body. Her moans increase in volume while being what you believed, individual in the way you were pleasuring her. The wet, hot feeling of her pussy wrapped around your cock was incredible.

Having used her hips for support, you bring your hands to her ass, firmly squeezing her cheeks with both hands. You were delighted to see them create soft ripples with each collision of your crotch against hers. Chaeyoung gasps in surprise when she feels you give her ass a spank.

“Baby, fuck me… Fuck me harder.” She gasps. Chaeyoung no longer wanted to be fucked by you. She wanted pure pleasure.

You satisfied her desires, giving her hard, deep thrusts as your cock moved in and out of the tight grip of her pussy.

Holy fuck… Yes! Oh yes!” she screamed, throwing her head back as you increased the pace. “Fuck me just like that!”

Through your repeated thrusts, you seemed to have discovered a sweet spot that gives Chaeyoung the most amount of pleasure. It takes you a few tries, but soon your cock is repeatedly hitting that spot as you maintain the same speed and depth of your thrusts. You know it won’t be long until her orgasm arrives, having seen the same signs from Jooyeon and Jiyeon - the ever increasing volume of her moans, the way her fists grasp onto the sheets for support as the pleasure courses throughout her entire body, and of course the way her hot, tight pussy maintains a firm hold on your cock.

“Baby… I’m about to cum! I’m gonna cum so hard!”

“Do it, Chaeyoung. Cum on my cock. Surrender yourself to pleasure and cum for me!”

“Baby… I’m cumming! Oh, fuck!”

Chaeyoung’s body tightens up as the pressure explodes, her pussy clamps down hard on your cock. You wanted to keep thrusting into her hard, but her orgasm has made her pussy far too tight for you to continue. Her cute, small fists form a deadly grip on the bedsheets below as her face sinks down onto the soft cotton pillow. You see her arms give out as her upper body collapses onto the bed.

The sound Chaeyoung made is the same sound you hear when a woman orgasms, an erotic sound that will never be old to you.

Chaeyoung’s second orgasm of the night was even more intense than the first, and as such, takes her several minutes to recover from. You relished at the sight of her body still bent over in front of you, your cock still inside her tight pussy. The light from above gave you a good view of her toned back that was lined with sweat.

“Baby… holy fuck, that was amazing.” she said, panting heavily.

You smiled at her words, giving a gentle squeeze on both of her asscheeks as a response.

“I want you to keep fucking me, baby.”

Drawing your cock out of her body, you watch as Chaeyoung straddles your lap. Thinking she was going to turn around and face you, Chaeyoung shoots down that theory as she strokes your cock before lowering herself onto it. You are given an alluring view of her sweaty back as she starts riding you. Her round ass slams down against your crotch with each movement of her hips. She was slim, but contained a small amount of curves in the right locations as you slap her ass cheek with a flat palm.

Chaeyoung throws her head back and lets out erotic, satisfied moans with each slap on her ass.

“Does Chaeyoung love getting her ass slapped like this?” you asked, knowing full well what her response will be.

“Y-Yes, ah!” Chaeyoung moaned. “Is my p-pussy tight enough for you?”

“I think it could be tighter.” you teased.

“Make me cum again and it will.”

Chaeyoung fucks herself on your cock for a few more minutes before regretfully removing her body from yours. You whined softly at the feeling of no longer being inside her, but it is short-lived as Chaeyoung gets off the bed and gets on her knees. She extends her hands out for yours as you take them and stand in front of her.

Her eyes remained fixed on you, taking her position between your spread legs. You looked down and saw her beautiful face filled with lust.

She takes you inside her mouth, your cock drenched in her juices. She bobs her head quickly, working on your cock as her tongue paints your underside and her hands massage your balls and thighs. Her tongue swirls around the tip of your cock, satisfied at how sensitive your tip is to her touch.

Chaeyoung’s moans send vibrations of pleasure throughout your cock, as you savor the delicious tingles of her mouth around your shaft. Her ultimate goal was to give you the very same pleasure you gave her.

“Chaeyoung… I’m… I’m close.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to last much longer in my tight pussy. And while I’m sure you want nothing more than to cum inside me, I want you to watch me swallow your cum.” Chaeyoung said softly as she took your cock back inside her sweet, wet lips.

Her beautiful brown eyes met yours as her lips formed an airtight seal around your cock. Her slim fingers massaging your balls was too much for you to handle.

“I’m cumming…” you say as your orgasm finally arrives. You bobbed her head up and down as quickly as you can before pushing her head all the way down to your base. Your cock throbbed as it releases hot, thick semen into Chaeyoung’s warm and inviting mouth. She manages to push her head back from your hold, opening her mouth to allow you to see your cum shoot into her mouth, painting her tongue and back of her mouth a milky white color. Her eyes crinkle in satisfaction, seeing your face riddled with pleasure.

You were surprised you managed to keep your eyes open the entire time you came. This was the first time you ever saw yourself cumming inside a woman’s mouth. And it was safe to say, it certainly wouldn’t be the last. When you finally finished, you watched Chaeyoung wipe her lips to catch the remaining droplets of cum before closing her mouth and swallowing your load down her throat. She sticks her bright pink tongue out at you with a satisfied hum and laugh, letting you know she enjoyed your tasty treat.

You collapsed back onto the bed, completely exhausted. Chaeyoung climbed on the bed shortly after, licking your cock clean before making her way on top of you. Your foreheads rested against each other, before she cupped your cheeks and gave you a deep, passionate kiss. You opened your eyes and found yourselves staring at each other longingly.

“That was amazing…” you said, mirroring her earlier sentiments.

“You were too, baby. You made me feel like a lovesick girl.” she said, pushing back her damp blonde hair.

“What does that mean?” you asked.

“It doesn’t matter.” she said. “You really were amazing, though. I’ve never been fucked like that before. That was the most incredible sex I’ve ever had.”

You smiled as she began tracing a finger across your chest.

Chaeyoung gave you even more loving kisses as she feels your cock slowly start to harden underneath her.

“Bad boy…” she said, reaching behind her to grab a hold of your shaft. “Already so hard for me again.”

“What can I say, you know how to make a person want more.” you said, resting your hands on her ass before giving her a firm squeeze. Chaeyoung playfully hits your shoulder in response.

Just as she is spreading her legs and lowering her body back onto yours, your phone suddenly rings. You give each of her asscheeks a slap before gently removing her body off yours.

You grabbed your phone from the desk and quickly headed out to the balcony.

Chaeyoung sits up on the bed and wraps her body in the comforter. At the nightstand next to her, she hears her own phone begin to ring.

“Hello?”

“Mudkip, it’s Hyunjung.”

“Hi, Lieutenant. You know I hate that nickname.” you sighed. “What’s up?”

“I’m not even supposed to be doing this since you’re still suspended, but I cashed in my redemption. Your request has been fulfilled.”

“Really? That’s great news. Thanks so much.”

“Are you sure this person can help us? From my brief conversation with them, they didn’t seem too happy when your name was mentioned.”

“They can… if anyone is going to be able to help us, it’s them.”

“Understood. Be safe, okay? Your suspension ends on Monday.”

“I know. Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“You’re welcome. But if you really want to thank me, bring me some bubble tea when you return. Hyunjung loves bubble tea.”

“Hyunjung really does love her bubble tea…” you replied. “Thanks again, I’ll see you Monday.”

“Chaeyoung… is your mission complete?”

“Yes, unnie. I made contact with him and got the digital imprint of his phone like you asked.”

“Good. So… how was he? How big was he? He better not be like that last guy you slept with.”

Chaeyoung sighed. “Yes Jennie unnie, he was big. I don’t know why you have to ask that every time I sleep with a guy.”

Seeing you enter from the balcony, Chaeyoung whispers quietly into the phone. “I’ll call you later.”

“Are you ready for round two?” she asked, ending the call as she turns around and cutely wags her butt at you.

“Chaeyoung…” you said. Noticing the seriousness in your voice, she turned around and faced you.

“What’s wrong?”

“Something came up, I have to leave.”

“What, right now? But we were about to start round two, where we get in the shower and fuck me until I can’t stand.”

“I know, and I really want to. But it’s important. You understand, right?”

“I do…” she said, pouting. She smiled weakly as you planted a long, tender kiss on her lips.

“I’ll be back soon.”

As you quickly dress up and leave Chaeyoung by herself, you give her one final wave before exiting the room. Chaeyoung sighs as she stares at a black domino mask and pearl necklace.

“I really like him… but we can never be together. Especially when he finds out who I am.”

The meeting location the Lieutenant gave you was not too far from the hotel. Thankfully, the storm has passed as the smell of rain perfumed the nighttime air. You finally reached your destination 10 minutes later.

Entering it, you scan the cafe until you find the person you were looking for. Approaching them, you see them sipping on a piping hot cup of tea. You timidly sit across from them.

“Thanks for agreeing to see me on such short notice.” you said.

The person doesn’t respond, sipping their cup of tea instead.

“How have… you been?” you continued. You watched as they finally lowered their cup.

“You know she will kill me if she found out I agreed to meet you.”

“What can you tell me about the robbery that happened a few days ago?” you said, your tone becoming serious.

They looked at you intently, before sighing and taking out a case file from their bag.

“Four women. They hit hard and strike like thunder. They wore masks and left no traces of print or hair. They clearly know what they are doing. Stole a couple million in jewels and denominations.”

“What about the security system?”

“Disabled. Along with CCTV. One of them was believed to be disguised as a repairer. They work in pairs. Two act as bait while the other two sneak underground and execute the plan.”

“They’ve never been ID’d?”

The person shook their head. “Nothing in our database at all. Whoever they are, they’re a ghost in the system’s eyes.”

“But…” they said, causing your eyebrow to raise. “I have a hunch on who. Interpol sent these in this morning.”

They handed you another envelope containing four photos. The first three seemed unfamiliar causing you to pay no attention to them. That is - until you reached the last photo.

“Are these legitimate?”

“You know Interpol wouldn’t send us fakes. Why?”

“This person.” you said, holding up the photo.

“She has the second highest bounty. Interpol has a file on her in several other countries, namely Australia and New Zealand.” They noticed your expression changing. “Why?” they repeated.

“I was just with her…” you said.

“How is she?” you said, changing your tone to let them know you were talking about someone else. “I heard she’s Captain now.”

“I still don’t know why I’m here. Your Lieutenant told me you were still suspended. I could lose my job for talking to you about work off the clock.”

“You know she and I didn’t end on good terms and that affected a lot of my relationships with people. Especially ours, you and I were best friends.”

“Please…” you continued. “You know I wouldn’t ask you in this way if I had any other choice.”

“I need your help. I need your help, Kim Bora.”

#kpop smut #kpop fanfic #blackpink smut #blackpink #rose #park chaeyoung #male reader #reader insert

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imagine-darksiders · 3 years ago

Note

I hope you feel better soon! When you're feeling better would you be able to write something about jealous Strife? That ask made me curious

“Do you really have to go?”

From your seat at the vanity, you heave an exasperated sigh and set down your lipstick, swivelling around in the chair to face the Horseman who stands sulking at your bedroom door.

“Strife,” you begin patiently, “I'm afraid my answer still hasn't changed since you asked me ten minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I know. It's just -” Averting his gaze, he crosses his arms and grumbles, “I thought we were gonna hang out tonight.”

“And I told you two weeks ago that I wouldn't be around tonight.”

You can't see his expression, hidden as it is behind the silver helm he wears, but you're fairly confident in guessing that there's a pout on his lips.

“And besides,” you add, “We hang out all the time. You practically live here. Hell, you've already turned my spare bedroom into your own personal den.”

'Den' is an understatement. Your spare room is now less of a bedroom more of an Earth museum, filled from floor to ceiling with all of the things that Strife has picked up simply because they took his fancy. For the most part, it's all junk. There's an obsolete gaming console that no longer works, a skateboard, a horse figurine made of glass, no less than three Nerf guns and not a foam dart between them...

Honestly, you're loathe to tell him to get rid of any of it, though you fear you might have to soon if you don't want the mess spilling out into the rest of your house.

Giving your head an exasperated shake, you check the time on your phone and stand up, throwing your bag over a shoulder. “Listen, it's just one evening with an old friend who I haven't seen since before the apocalypse. We can hang out tomorrow, I promise. But now, I really need to dash, he'll be here to pick me up any minute.”

Pausing to stuff your phone into the pocket of your trousers, you head towards the door, hardly noticing that the Horseman is still standing in front of it with his arms folded neatly across a broad, armoured chest. It's only because you glance up right at the last second that you manage to avoid a painful collision. “Um...Strife?” you ask, halting in your tracks, “... Move?”

In response, he simply leans back against your door and begins to inspect the claws on one of his gauntlets. “Nah... I'd rather hear about this friend of yours. You've never mentioned him.” Pausing, he shoots you a sly smirk that you can sense more than see, his golden eyes flashing, “You guys close?”

With a roll of your eyes, you mimic his posture, crossing your arms and giving him a glare that would make Death proud. “Strife, what's gotten into you? I just said I'm going to be late for my friend.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he returns coolly, “Just wanna know that my friend isn't walking into a trap.”

“Oh wow – a trap? Really? Of all the-” You cut yourself off and raise a hand, massaging at your temple. “Okay. Now you're just being ridiculous. It's not a trap.”

“Why don't you let me come with you, just in case?”

“Because!” you cry, throwing your arms up, “It'll be awkward! You remember what I taught you about third-wheeling?”

He remembers it well, in fact. Just like he remembers everything you teach him, committing the moments to memories that he'll carry with him until the day he snuffs it. He only has you for less than a hundred years, after all, and he's determined to remember every last bit of it. The Universe must have thought itself pretty hilarious when it placed you in his life. Of all the creatures in all the realms, the one he ends up caring about most just so happens to be the one with the shortest lifespan. It makes him want to hunt down the Creator and shoot a hole where a heart might be.

Shoving down his contempt for the omnipotent bastard, Strife returns his attention to you and lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “I don't mind tagging along. You know, just in case I have to watch your back.”

Your response hits him harder than a crack from Fury's whip. “I don't need you to watch my back every second of every day! Stop being so paranoid.”

The Horseman is too proud and obstinate to ever let the stab of hurt show in his eyes, but he can't ignore its presence in his chest.

He is not being paranoid... He's being a good friend - watching your back, looking out for you, all the things a friend is supposed to do. Not that he's had much experience being friends with a human. Or anyone, for that matter, who isn't a horse or his siblings. It's been a learning curve for both of you, though more-so for him, and so far, the most prominent challenge he's faced is balancing the line between being a friend and being an overprotective nuisance.

It perhaps hasn't helped that, ever since humanity was resurrected, the pair of you have been nigh inseparable. He's grown used to your presence – is dependant upon in, according to Death; a fact that Strife had vehemently tried to deny, at least until he learned that you'd made plans. Plans with someone else. Plans that didn't involve him.

It was only once he'd taken some time to reflect and found that he had indeed been glued to your side for months, that he realised the awful truth.

His older brother was right, after all. The smug ass.

A shudder rolls over the Horseman's body and he blinks, realising that in the few seconds he's been lost in thought, you've managed to reach around him to push open your bedroom door.

“Hey!” he complains as you all but shove past, and he – being the soft-touch that he is – simply allows himself to be moved aside. Grumbling, he follows you across the landing and down your sweeping staircase until you reach the front door and stop beside it.

From outside, the thunderous roar of an approaching, automobile's engine thrums in his ears.

“That's him!” you chirp, and Strife hates the way your face lights up at the mention of whoever 'he' is.

Throwing open your door, you head outside and try to pull it shut behind you, yet find your efforts abruptly halted by the Horseman sticking close to your heels. He ducks through the low doorframe and moves to stand beside you, his viciously keen gaze raking over the vehicle that idles at the end of your driveway.

By his own admission, Strife has always had a weakness for those 'motor bikes' the humans like to ride, with their shiny gaskets and noisy engines. But this one – the one upon whom sits a tall, lanky human – Strife does not care for.

“Anton!” you call out, flying down the driveway, splaying your arms out wide in anticipation of a hug.

'Anton' laughs brightly and kicks down the bike's stand as he leaps from the seat, his own arms only just opening in time to receive you when you crash into him with a whoop of delight.

As soon as those long, stringy arms wrap around your shoulders, the Horseman's hackles raise like a feral beast's and the sudden presence of Anarchy begins to claw at the confines of his ribcage. For a few moments, he wrestles with himself, weighing the pros and cons of letting his most primal form take over for a while, but after envisioning the disapproving frown that's sure to adorn your face should he pull such a stunt, he bitterly shoves a reluctant Anarchy back down and settles upon prowling down the gravel drive after you, glaring hard at the stranger the entire way. Admittedly, he is a little surprised at himself for the animosity. On the whole, he's always maintained a good rapport with other humans. He likes the species, a lot. So to suddenly be filled with such a strong disliking for this particular human strikes him as odd and out of character.

Then, Anton's hands slide down to your lower back and another bout of indignant fury flares up in the Horseman's belly. After what he thinks is, quite frankly, an obscene amount of time, the stranger releases you, holding onto your shoulders and leaning back to get a better look at your face.

“God, it's good to see you, Y/n,” he drawls, eyeing you from head to toe in a way that makes the Horseman's skin crawl, “I can't believe it! You've changed so much!”

Grinning shyly up at him, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and reply, “Hopefully for the better?”

His own smile widens. “You were always at your best, even before the apocalypse. Still, being Humanity's Hero seems to be really suiting you, huh?”

At once, your expression falls and you pull a face, extracting yourself from his grasp. “Oh god, don't call me that. I've told the media till I'm blue in the face - the Horsemen are the ones who deserve to be called heroes. Oh, speaking of whom...” You turn to face the looming presence at your side and gesture up to Strife. “I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine.”

Anton's gaze leaves you long enough to flick over towards the Horseman and you watch as he does a very comical double-take, his eyes bulging for a moment before he manages to compose himself again and lifts his hand in greeting. “Hey! You must be one of those Horseman guys. Death, right?”

Noticing that the Nephilim's hands curl suddenly into tight fists, you interject, “Uh, actually, this is Strife, Tones.”

“Tones?” He really does try to keep the disdain from his voice when he switches his burning, golden glare between you and the other human. “I thought you said his name was Anton?”

How many other friends do you have?

“It's a nickname, Strife,” you reassure him quickly, “This is Anton.”

A nickname... Of course. The Horseman's stomach twists itself into a knot and he can't stop himself from blurting out, “How come you've never given me a nickname?”

The human concept surrounding abbreviated names was a fairly easy one for him to grasp when he first learned of them. They're terms of endearment, meant to signify familiarity and friendship.

He's your friend. He's familiar. Why doesn't he have a nickname too?

"Ugh, I'm sorry. We'll brainstorm nicknames when I get back," you huff, "But the restaurant will give our table away if we don't hurry. So -"

Turning to usher Anton onto the bike, you hardly manage to take one step before a large, metal hand is sliding around your forearm and tugging you gently to a halt. Biting back a groan, you glance over your shoulder, ready to scold him, but one look at his slouched stance and averted gaze stops you in your tracks.

"Uh. Hey, Tones?" you call, never taking your eyes off the Horseman's mask, "Can you give us a sec?"

The human behind you is careful to check that Strife isn't looking when he rolls his eyes and grunts in acknowledgement before he turns and saunters over to his bike, leaning up against it and pulling out his phone.

Once Anton has turned his attention elsewhere, you raise a brow at the Horseman and wait, patient, expectant. After working his jaw for a moment or two, he finally looks at you properly and tightens his grip on your arm, not until it's painful, but enough that you understand what he's trying to convey in the gesture.

He really doesn't want you to go.

"Strife?" you prod.

Reluctantly, he lets out a rough exhale.

Although he's far better at it than his siblings, watching Strife try to openly express emotion isn't unlike watching someone pull their own teeth out with a pair of pliers. The process is slow, and it's best to sit back and listen to him rather than try to encourage him to speak. So, that's what you do, and eventually, your patience is rewarded when after another few seconds of silence, he offers a strained chuckle and says, "This guy isn't my replacement, is he? I know the bike is cool, and all, but..."

"Your replacement?" you laugh, incredulous, "Strife. I don't know how it worked with Nephilim, but for humans, having another friend doesn't cancel out any existing ones."

He knows that. He's not some whelp who never learned how to share. Frustrated with himself, the Horseman huffs and turns his head to the side, glaring hard at nothing in particular.

"Hey..." An old habit kicks in, and before you can stop yourself, you reach up to trace your fingertips along the underside of Strife's helm, tipping it back towards you and smiling at the bewildered look in his yellow eyes. Confident that he's paying proper attention, you pull your hand away again and state, "I could search the whole universe from top to bottom for the next hundred, thousand years, and I'd never find a friend who could replace you, okay? So stop worrying. Your ranking as 'my best friend' is not under threat."

"M'not worrying," he grumbles, but inside, his heart is aglow with the warmth of your words. At the back of his mind, Anarchy rumbles happily. You said best!... He's your best friend? He tries to recall you ever calling him that before. Then he realises that, no, you can't have done. He wouldn't forget a moment like that. Not in a million years. Just like he won't forget how he feels right now after hearing those two words.

Oblivious to the fate you've just sealed for yourself, you clap your hands together, bringing the conversation to what you hope is an easy conclusion. "Good. In that case, will you please let me go with Anton now?"

The Horseman's mood sours almost immediately, but at least he peels his fingers off your arm.

"Hey, kid?" he address Anton, packing his voice with all the menace and threat that he can muster, "If I find out she gets hurt on your watch, I'll introduce you to a couple'a friends of mine..." His hands fall less-than subtly to his holsters, where the silver handles of Mercy and Redemption glint in the sunlight.

Anton's face pales upon seeing the Horseman's legendary pistols.

"Stop that," you scold him, smacking the back of your hand against the armoured chest plate before turning to your other friend and calling, "Come on, Tones, let's go."

Anton all but throws himself onto his bike, kicking the stand back and jamming his keys into the ignition whilst you climb on behind him, albeit far more gracefully. The man tosses you a helmet and you shove it onto your head.

Strife's eyes remain settled upon your hands that wrap snugly around Anton's waist and it takes everything in him not to grab you, haul you off the bike, drag you back to your home and lock you inside.

“I'll be back late tonight,” you call over the roar of the engine as you begin to pull away, “There's food in the fridge if you want to eat! And my Netflix is still logged in! I'll see you later, okay!?”

Strife doesn't respond, not because he can't think of what to say, but because there would be no point. Anton has already peeled away and pushed the bike to a reckless speed. All the Horseman can do is stand there at the end of your driveway, his shoulders drooping dejectedly.

After you're nothing more than a dot on the far horizon, he tears his eyes off you and lets them fall to the tarmac near his boots.

He never notices you looking back.

#darksiders #darksiders genesis #Strife #reader #jealousy

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ghostlywritten · 4 years ago

Text

If Only I Had Stayed in The Shadows - Prologue

James Potter x OC

Words: 3,7k

Cecily Grant. At your service. Ordinary Sixth Year Gryffindor, Chaser of the Quidditch team and mediocre witch. Dreams of becoming the number one Healer anyone has ever seen (at least my parents think that's my dream) and having my first kiss before I bloody graduate. Don't I sound absolutely charming? Special? Note-worthy?

No. And apparently the rest of the school agrees since I hardly get acknowledged by anyone outside of class...or year. We're a big school, of course no one knows everyone. But at least within one year...

"OI, are you daydreaming again?" Marlene flicked my forehead. Oh well, I guess some did notice me.

"It's not called daydreaming when I'm just trying to ignore your traditional boy rant in the morning," I teased, picking the sweet back up to munch on it.

Marlene scoffed, "At least, I have boys to rant about." She flipped me off when I pressed my hand against my heart with an inaudible 'ouch', causing her to giggle.

Yeah, I shouldn't be complaining about my life. I have an established friendship group, my grades are good enough to satisfy my parents and Hogwarts was an amazing school in general. Plus, I even had a hobby. Quidditch. Hah, take that.

Nonetheless, the routine that my life had become was pretty boring, depressing even if I were to look at my boy's department. Or rather, lack of. I know I shouldn't identify myself through the boyfriends I had or had not, because I'm more than that (female empowerment, y'all!) but as a sixteen year old you are simply not able to resist the urge to want a male in your life and experience all that romantic ish. Especially when you see all your friends developing crushes. Not that I had never not developed a crush. I currently had more than one crush to be honest. But their crushes were actually two-sided and resulted in dates and relationships…well, Marlene's did at least. If Lily would only get as far as a second date until the bloke suddenly disappeared from Hogwarts (just kidding, they would just run away at first sight). Three guesses, whose fault that was.

Anyways, back to me because at least in my story I want to be the protagonist. My crushes were never reciprocated even if I thought so at the beginning (Marlene's fault mostly), so I was left as probably the only Sixth Year in Gryffindor's history to have never been in a romantic relationship. And mind you, I don't have big expectations. I can't really in my position. I'm no Lily Evans with her shiny red hair and bright, emerald green eyes and neither a Marlene McKinnon with her tanned skin, hazelnut brown hair- I'm getting off topic again, which is me.

I sighed. Not even in my thoughts I could keep the attention to myself, why would anyone else?

…

"She's not listening again," Marlene huffed, flicking my forehead.

After that inner-monologue at breakfast, I headed off to the first class this morning; History of Magic. I had a distinct feeling I would continue with that monologue in class. No wonder, I failed that class in my O.W.L's. Meh, whatever.

Since Lily and Marlene were closer friends than any of them with me, it was natural for them to sit together in every class, which caused me to slip into any free seat next to someone I usually never talk to. Joy.

To my surprise, I saw a vacant seat next to Remus Lupin, who was still standing and taking his stuff out whilst his two friends Sirius Black and James Potter took over the seats behind them. Ah, now the infamous Marauders. Minus one that is mysteriously missing right now. But nonetheless, no one would dare split the four apart, knowing they are always together and always partnering in each class-

"Hey Remus," I greeted the sandy-haired boy cheerfully, plopping on the seat next to him. I wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing. Remus gave me a surprised smile, seemingly not minding and I was sure as hell not going to ask. At least, he wasn't a total stranger. I was proud to say that every Sixth Year knew every Sixth Year within their house at least. And since I was on the Gryffindor team, I was known to him solely because of James Potter and Sirius Black, who were both players as well, the former even having been named Captain this year.

"Hey Cecily, how you doing?" Remus asked politely, settling himself down. His skin looked paler than usual upon closer inspection and he looked positively exhausted. I took out a bar of chocolate I always kept in the pockets of my robes (for emergencies only, of course!) and offered him some. "Good, and you?" I asked as he gratefully accepted without question. He was used to me randomly offering him some. "Fine, had a bit of a restless night, but should be better tomorrow," he said quietly, which went mostly unheard when one rowdy Sirius hollered from back, "Oi, aren't you gonna offer some to us as well?"

I glanced backwards at the two notorious troublemakers. "Um, no?" Sirius pouted and any ordinary girl would start to swoon at the sight. I'm ordinary, so I did. But years of practice taught me to only do it internally. And the amount of times I caught him with his tongue down another girl's throat was enough disgust to keep myself sane whilst resting my eyes on his unnatural beauty. I ain't kidding, really. He was handsome in ways that sometimes made me question whether he was a male-Veela. Those surely existed. Perfectly groomed, thick black hair, striking grey eyes, an annoyingly perfect nose and a jaw line that could cut someone in half. I am ashamed to admit there was a time where I would have gladly let him stomp on me if that would have made him acknowledge me.

I mean, come on, who hadn't had a crush on him, male and female? I was convinced, James did and was just trying to cover it with his constant profession of love towards one Lily Evans. I shall explain in a minute but let's first get through my most important description of the next Marauder, who was unfortunately now my Captain.

Unfortunate, because he already had been a nightmare in the last two years I had been on the team, constantly taking over the leader spot from the actual Captain to order us around, demanding more laps, longer practice hours until we were all bruised and frustrated enough to attempt a mutiny even though he wasn't even on charge. Imagine, how he was going to be now with the actual permission to order us around? I still have nightmares.

Besides that, he was probably also the leader of the little Marauder gang, a dumb name for their tight-knit group of friends. I couldn't deny though I was a bit envious of their friendship and I could imagine many others were, too.

Didn't change the fact that their gang name sounded stupid. Now, why I think James Potter is secretly crushing on his best mate (like every sane person would); I could hardly take his 'undying' love for Lily seriously, mainly because he had such ridiculous ways of professing his love for her that I doubted he was serious about it…or sirius. Heh. Anyways, he would probably be more believable if he weren't always so damn public about his declarations. That was also probably the reason why Lily was able to reject him all this time and call him an arrogant toe-rag in all her hateful rants. It didn't seem like she believed him.

Otherwise it would be hard to resist him for years. I mean, he was handsome, smart if he wanted to be and a pretty good Quidditch player. The whole package, really.

Merlin, I sounded like I had a crush on him, too. BUT. To be honest, everyone would have a crush on him as well as Sirius if he wasn't so 'devoted'.

I mentally slapped myself. At this rate, I would crush on Frank Longbottom's toad. "I seriously need a boyfriend," I muttered to myself.

"Hm, what was that?" Remus asked amused, chuckling quietly. Just then did I hear the complaints of the boys behind me.

"Are we air?"

"You siriusly going to ignore your Captain? That's ten extra laps this Thursday, Grant!"

I just remembered why I could keep my crushes under control. At least when it came to these two.

"Nothing," I muttered to Remus before turning over, raising an eyebrow at them, "What do you want?"

"Respect."

"Chocolate."

"Sorry, I have neither for you two," I said with a shrug, turning back over whilst they spluttered. It was easy handling them after years of practice together. Besides these interactions at class and on the Quidditch field, we had no other kind of connection, which was good for my heart.

But well, that would change quickly.

"Why is Remus always getting chocolate and we don't?" Sirius complained after class as I packed up the rest of the bar along with other stuff (such as the piece of parchment and quill I didn't use at all for this lesson). Rolling my eyes, I offered him some. "No, I don't want it anymore."

"Jeez, like a kid," I said loudly, "And for the record, I do it because Remus gives me his notes. Doesn't he?" I directed the question towards my seat partner with the most innocent smile. Remus Lupin with the gentle chuckle. He would probably be a heartthrob as well if it weren't for his quiet and introverted nature. In fact, all of the Marauders could be heartthrobs. Except Peter Pettigrew. Who was part of the gang for some reason. 'But even he is in a relationship right now,' I thought miserably, 'Probably off snogging his girlfriend and skipping class..'

"Of course I do," Remus answered, charming his notes to double and handing me the copy.

"Thanks, Remus!" I said cheerily, stuffing the notes into my bag before swinging it over and trudging past the protesting boys, "Hey, why don't we ever get your notes?!"

I ran to catch up with Marlene and Lily, who were already on their way to Herbology. "Hey girls, wait up!" They startled into a stop, "Oh, right. Sorry Cecily, we should have waited for you," Lily said sweetly and I grimaced. I was probably the Peter Pettigrew in our little friendship group.

Not that I could blame them. Lily and Marlene were both popular, extraordinary beauties and smart on top. I was the boring, ordinary looking and mediocre Peter that had nothing special to her name.

But that would change.

The days passed in a blur of classes, gossip and studying. The usual boring tirade, really. The only thing I looked forward to was food. And Quidditch.

So, imagine my elation when Thursday came up…and the sour mood I got in when James actually demanded those extra ten laps, apparently being good at holding a grudge. "Keep it up, Chaser No. 2!"

"Honestly, Potter," I huffed, coming to a stand in front of him, the only one still on the ground besides him as everyone was already up on their brooms.

"It's Captain, Chaser No. 2."

"Seriously? Chaser No. 2?"

"Well, there are three Chasers. I have to tell them apart."

"You have to tell them apart?" I snorted, "Potter, you know every player's name, family background, favourite team and player."

"True, and the Montrose Magpies still suck."

"They don't!"

"They do!"

"Still better than the Chudley Cannons!"

"Take that back!"

"Nope."

"Ten more laps."

I snorted again, mounting my broom. "As if."

"Grant, you get back down here this instant!"

"Who the hell is Grant? I'm Chaser No. 2," I yelled back, causing Sirius to bark a laugh as he heard. We started simulating a game with Team A against Team B for a while before mixing the players together. I rolled my eyes as Archie Stan knocked his shoulder against mine more roughly than necessary in an attempt to loosen my grip on the Quaffle. I wasn't born yesterday though, my grip tighter on the ball than a package of almond biscuits.

"Good, Chaser No. 2!" James shouted as I threw the Quaffle through the loop, whooping exaggerately, "Wooo -oof!" I clutched my broomstick to regain my balance as Stan knocked against me from behind this time, the air leaving my lungs for a second at the unexpected hit. "Watch it, Sideline-Chaser No. 3!"

"Not cool, bro!" Sirius and Frank booed, causing the Seventh Year boy to roll his eyes.

"Alright, everyone. Good game today," James called out, wrapping up the practice. We all cheered in relief, flying towards the ground to stretch and loosen up. "Don't act like you didn't enjoy it!" Our captain stated cheekily, grinning broadly now that he left the Captain mode behind. The others grumbled under their breaths as we all made our way to the locker rooms. I rubbed my sore shoulder, the rough handling having left a bit of a mark. "You alright there, Grant?" James asked as I passed him by.

"Yeah, just sore."

"Stan is an idiot," James commented, looking after the boy in question, "He is still bitter about how you took over his spot on the A team."

"His fault that he sucks," I muttered, causing the messy-haired boy to chuckle. "He doesn't suck. You are just better than him."

"Wow, can't believe I'm hearing a compliment from the Captain that only knows how to motivate us with insults."

He winked, catching me off guard, "Don't get used to it." I stared for a second at his smirk, wondering how he could pull that off without seeming arrogant like Sirius. Maybe it had to do with his unruly hair that gave him somewhat of a boyish, innocent look or maybe the warmth in his almond eyes that would turn into pure amber if the sun hit him in the face…

'I'm thinking way too much about this,' I thought, shaking myself out of it with a mental slap.

"Evans!" he suddenly called out, causing me to flinch in surprise. His entire expression brightened tenfold as he spotted the red-head over my shoulder. I turned to see her trudging over along with Marlene and Alice Prewett, who was probably the sole reason why they were here in the first place as she always wanted to cheer for her boyfriend. "Glad to see you are here to support the Gryffindor team! Or did you just come to watch me in my natural element?"

"Neither, Potter. Quidditch is useless," Lily commented harshly, and I winced slightly at the sharp tone she had solely reserved for him, watching how James' ego deflated along with his puffed-out chest.

"Touché," he chuckled, almost choking on the word and I could practically see his inner battle between agreeing with the love of his life and defending his love for the game.

"Excuse me, Quidditch isn't useless!" I protested indignantly. Lily just rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she walked past us with the other girls, who simply gave me small smiles in passing. I huffed. I really needed friends that supported this game.

"One day…," James sighed blissfully, staring after them, "One day she will admit her love for me and we will be together forever."

I shifted slightly, "Yeaaahhhh."

He frowned, straightening up to his full height, "You don't think so?"

Lie. Lie. Say everything else but what you really think, "I think you are in love with Sirius and trying to cover it up."

I TOLD YOU TO-

"W-what?" James spluttered and I snapped my head over my shoulder, "Yep, I'm coming!" I called back to the owl that flew past us in that moment, swiftly turning to walk away, "Bye Potter!"

"Wait, hold up!" the dark-haired boy caught me by the hood of my uniform, successfully pulling me back and I grimaced, "What the bloody hell do you mean I'm in love with Padfoot?!"

"Who isn't?" the boy in question asked, coming up towards after the quickest shower ever. I facepalmed in embarrassment as he walked over, ruffling his still wet hair.

"I'm certainly not!" James exclaimed, shaking me slightly with his grip on my hood, "She thinks so!"

"Oh?" Sirius raised an eyebrow at me, smirking in amusement, "I thought you were talking about her being in love with me."

"You know you gonna catch a cold if you walk around with your hair wet in this weather," I pointed out, trying to change the subject. Not that I was actually in love with him but since I had a tiny crush and I was really bad at lying, I would probably blurt something out that would make them think I was.

"Don't change the subject. Why the hell do you think I'm in love with Padfoot?"

"Well, for one. You have a pet name for him," I pointed out.

"For Moony and Wormtail, too! And they call him that, too!"

"Maybe it's a group thing then," I said dismissively, trying to find a way out and finally hit the showers, crawl into my bed and die. The longest conversation with the two heartthrobs yet and it had to be about my thoughts on their relationships.

"It's not!" Both James and Sirius denied.

"Two negatives make one positive," I said with a grin.

"Well, I wouldn't hold it against any of the blokes if they were in love with me," Sirius stated, flipping his hair and placing a hand on James' shoulder, "You can tell me, I won't judge."

James shrugged him off, "Of course, I don't! I never did, I don't now and I'm never going to!" Then he paused, "You don't think anyone else thinks that?"

Sirius shrugged and shook his head simultaneously, "Why would they?"

"Yeah, why would they?" I agreed hastily, side-stepping discreetly in hopes of- "YOU think so? You tell me!" James demanded, blocking my way.

I sighed, "I was just kidding."

"You were not."

I frowned, "How do you know?"

James pinched his nose. "You don't think Evans thinks I'm in love with Padfoot, do you?"

Shrugging, I leaned against my broomstick with a sigh, realising that this would take longer than I would like to, "How would I know?"

"Because you are friends?"

"Yeah, but I don't always listen when they talk about boy stuff." Mainly because I didn't always want to feel the green eyed monster crawling up whenever they talked about their dates or relationships or even drama. I wish I had some drama to talk about.

"And why do you think I do?" James pressed.

I blinked. "Do what?"

"Love Padfoot!" James said loudly in exasperation, causing heads to turn as the other players slowly got out of the locker room, freshened up.

"Is that your way of matchmaking, James?" Frank called out teasingly, "Shouting at the victim to love your best mate?"

"Oi, what do you mean 'victim'?" Sirius shouted back as the others laughed around us. I went beet red.

"This conversation is over, Potter," I decided, side-stepping him swiftly to walk towards the locker rooms. The girls looked at me questioningly, but I just shook my head as I walked into the warm room, James hot on my heels.

"I'm serious, Grant. Why do you think I'm in love with Padfoot and not Evans? Does she think that? Is she doubting my love for her?" he fired one question after another as he followed me.

"Well, maybe," I replied to his last question as I placed broomstick against the wall next to the girls' changing rooms door, stopping with a hand on the handle, "I mean, it would explain why she hasn't agreed to go out with you after your countless times of asking her."

"How is asking someone out causing someone to doubt their love for them?" James asked incredulously as he proceeded to try and follow me inside the room.

"Off limits, Potter!" I said sternly with half a foot inside the room as he stood right in front of me.

"Captain here, Grant!" James retaliated, pushing me inside before half-closing the door to give me some privacy. I sighed, figuring that would be all I would get as I opened my locker. "Now, answer the question!"

"Well, maybe it's just the way you are handling your 'love' for her," I mused as I changed, knowing he wouldn't stop pestering me unless I satisfied his curiousity.

"What do you mean?"

"You are being overbearing about it. Obnoxious," I explained, grinning at his childish scoff, "I mean, I would have believed you at some point after all these years, but your affections seem kind of…superficial, given the fact that you never tried to actually get to know her."

"…How do you know all that? Did she tell you that?"

I blushed. "Y-yeah, probably." I was glad he couldn't see my red face from lying. It was still better than telling him that I was mindlessly obsessing over my friend's relationships and boy dramas since I had none myself. Sighing, I stuffed my Quidditch robes into my sack before throwing it over my shoulder and heading towards the door.

Unsurprisingly, James stood there still, an unusual thoughtful expression on his face. "So, you think I should get to know her more?"

"I think you should leave her alone."

"What? I can't-"

"I mean, everything you try at this point will be fruitless because Lily won't believe you like she hasn't all the years before," I explained patiently, "It would be smarter to just lean back and be civil for a while, give her space to breathe instead of giving her yet another reason to complain how much of an arrogant toe-rag you are."

James went quiet for a second and I wondered if I had imagined the slight flicker of hurt in his eyes at my words. "She really said that?" he asked softly and I mentally berated myself for throwing that in his face thoughtlessly.

"Maybe not with those words…," I tried to deny but he saw right through it, sighing heavily as he ran a hand through his air.

"…Be civil, eh?"

I nodded whilst simultaneously wondering how I had suddenly become a relationship counsellor for my Quidditch Captain. "Be civil."

Little did I know how this little conversation got the ball rolling towards the most unexpected direction.

Chapter One

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter fanfiction #sirius black #sirius black imagine #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #marauders #marauders era #marauders imagine

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adenei · 3 years ago

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Summer of Jily Week 4

It's week 4 for @efkgirldetective's Summer of Jily challenge! You sure did send me for a loop with this one, but I've managed to keep the one-shots turned multi chap story going!

This week's prompts: Picking Berries and "I know I kissed you before, but I didn't do it right."

Read on AO3

************

James didn’t sleep at all that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about the carnival. His thoughts shifted between being mad at Sirius for winning that damn prize and presenting it to Lily—that was his stupid, cheesy plan that his best mate had hijacked—and the Ferris wheel ride.

About saving your letters or waiting for you to ask me out?

How could he have been so thick? And how is it that he keeps royally mucking things up? He’d had the perfect opportunity to kiss Lily right there on the ride, but then it had to move again, and he’d gotten sidetracked at the feeling of flying on a muggle contraption.

Hadn’t he come along with the boys to crash the girls trip so he could spend more time with Lily? He’d devised the perfect opportunity to sweep her off her feet, and he swore to himself he would only ask her out if she made it blatantly obvious that she wanted him to. As much as it killed him, he’d rather not lose her friendship over pressing her one too many times.

But now, she had made it clear that she was waiting for him to make a move, and what does he do instead? Lets her walk away after the sunrise, hits her with a ball by the lake, and then avoids her throughout the entire carnival until their friends force them to share a compartment on that bloody ride.

He’d had the perfect opportunity to kiss her right there, to ask her to be his girlfriend, and what does he do instead? Freezes. James Potter, master of smooth pick-up lines, carefree, easy-going Gryffindor heartthrob (says the Hogwarts gossip circle, not that he pays attention to any of that—why would he when he’s got his heart set on one girl?) freezes.

Well, he didn’t totally freeze. After they’d apparated back to the cabin, he and Lily were the last two in the sitting area before they went to bed. He walked her to the door of the girl’s room and kissed her on the cheek before bidding her goodnight.

It had taken all of his willpower to not pull her into his arms and snog her senseless after her confession earlier that evening. Yet, after seeing her disappointed face before she shut the door to the bedroom, he wished he had. She’d thrown his entire game off, and he needed to fix it before he lost his chance with Lily for good.

Resigning himself to the fact that he was awake to see another sunrise, James dragged himself out of bed and picked up his glasses on the nightstand before stepping around the mattress on the floor where Peter currently snored away. He grabbed the nearest shirt he could find and threw it on before slipping out of the bedroom.

It was lighter out than he was expecting, meaning he’d probably missed the sunrise. The boys preferred to sleep in pitch black, but the spell they cast on the window the night before was fading, allowing the daybreak to sift through and consequently throwing off his sense of time. He started the coffee pot and leaned against the counter while he waited for the pot to brew.

Caffeine would be necessary to stay awake today, or maybe he could sneak a nap in at some point. Hell, maybe he’d be able to convince Lily to join him for said nap. He could think of plenty of things they could get up to whilst they were in bed together. James let his mind wander to thoughts of getting to know her in a more intimate setting. The kind that he’d often wank to when he needed a release.

The rich smell of dark roast wafted through the living area. James forced his thoughts away from images of Lily writhing beneath him as he reached for a mug. He only barely heard the click of a door as he pulled the pot off to pour himself a cup.

“Another early morning?”

James looked up to see Lily standing there, her hair messy from sleep. She ran her fingers through it in an attempt to comb it out. The green of her eyes were barely visible under still somewhat droopy eyelids. Something stirred within him, and despite the fact that he was only seventeen, it was a view he knew he could get used to.

“That would imply I slept. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, but I couldn’t resist the smell of coffee. Why couldn’t you sleep?”

“Peter’s snoring reached new levels last night.”

The lie slipped off his lips with ease, although it wasn’t altogether convincing. A simple Muffliato charm would have allowed him the peace and quiet he needed to fall asleep. Her skeptical look wasn’t lost on him as he absent-mindedly began fixing the cup he’d poured with the amount of milk and sugar Lily preferred. He wasn’t aware he was doing it until he handed it to her.

“Thanks,” she said. “Since when do you know how I take my coffee?”

“Come on, Evans, you don’t think I’ve noticed? Some things stick after eating breakfast with someone over the last year.” James smirked.

He grabbed another mug from the cabinet and poured his own cup without adding anything to it. James blew over the dark brown liquid to help cool it off as he watched Lily take a minuscule sip of her own.

“That’s fair. I still don’t know how you can drink yours black.”

“Some say I’m sweet enough on my own.” The quip was automatic as Lily laughed at his humor.

Merlin, her laugh is infectious. James swore the reason he said half of the stuff he did was so he could hear her laugh.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

The question came from nowhere, but the early morning was so peaceful that he wanted to experience it with her, preferably hand in hand.

“Sure.”

They left their coffee mugs abandoned on the Formica as they headed to the door and slid on their shoes. Lily grabbed a jacket off the coat rack and zipped it up halfway. James closed the door quietly behind him then led her over to the trail he and the boys explored yesterday. The path wasn’t terribly long, but it ended up in a quiet and secluded area where the lake met pebbled terrain.

“So, was the dolphin a good sleeping partner?” James’s voice cut through the light layer of morning fog.

Lily chuckled. “I don’t know, I let Marly sleep with him instead.”

“Ah, Sirius will be heartbroken if he learns of your betrayal.” His words were meant to be a joke, yet they didn’t come across as lighthearted as he’d hoped.

“Well, good thing you won’t tell him. Right?” Lily’s questioning eyes made James’s heart skip a beat.

“I suppose I can keep your secret, Evans, but it’ll cost you.”

“Oh? And what might that price be, Potter?”

The green of the trees and shrubbery only enhanced the sparkle that glinted in her eyes. James wondered if she was testing him. Shouldn’t she know by now that he never backed down from a challenge?

“Ditch your friends and spend the day with me instead.”

“Like a date?”

“Yes, Evans, like a date.”

“Well, good thing we’re getting an early start. Now we can make the most of the day.”

James grinned at Lily’s acceptance as they continued down the trail.

They were nearly at the clearing by the water when Lily stopped, causing James to turn around. “Is this the path you and the boys were on yesterday afternoon?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, when Mary asked if you found anything interesting, you said no.”

“Because there isn’t…”

“That’s not true! Look at the blackberry bushes over there!”

James’s head turned to the direction Lily was pointing at, and sure enough, there were several bushes, low to the ground and full of clumps of blackberries. Lily bent down to pick a few off the branches.

“How do you know they’re blackberries and not nightshade or something?”

“Honestly, Potter, did you not pay attention when Sprout taught that unit on edible plants and where to find them in the wilderness?”

“No? Guess I was a bit distracted.”

“Nightshade grows off the stem in one circle. They look more like blueberries, except they’re shinier and darker. Blackberries have all the little bumps on them like this. Almost like a raspberry, but a different color.”

Lily picked a handful of berries during her explanation and stood when she was finished. James saw her holding them delicately in an effort to stop them staining her hands. Using her forefinger and thumb, she picked one up and held it to James’s mouth.

“Try it.”

James opened his mouth and let her place the berry on his tongue. He locked eyes with her as his lips closed around her fingers. An explosion of flavor bursts on his tongue as he bit down on the fruit. The tartness caused him to squint and pucker his lips slightly. Lily smiled at his reaction as she popped a couple berries in her mouth.

She was right—they tasted way better when picked fresh. He held out his hand for more, and she gave him a couple to munch on as they continued walking through the woods. James’s brain was fixated on the way she fed him as his feet moved him forward. Their hands grazed against each other, and James held on after the third bump. He felt her fingers intertwine with his as their steps aligned on the dirt path. As they inched their way toward the rocky clearing of the lake, a plan formed in his mind, and he knew exactly what he needed to do to match Lily’s brazenness of the night before and kick off their day-long date properly.

“Oh, wow,” she whispered as the trail gave way to the stunning view of the calm water ahead of them. The fog had settled across the still water, preventing them from seeing the other side of the lake.

“Lily—”

“Okay, the berries were one thing, but hiding this view from us? How—” Lily froze mid-sentence as comprehension dawned on her. “Did you just call me Lily?”

“Yeah, I did, but please go on about how we didn’t tell you about this.”

“No, I think I’d rather hear what you have to say instead.”

“You sure? I know how much you love being able to prove us wrong.”

James paused, waiting for Lily’s reaction. He loved riling her up like this. The way he alluded to something but then held it just out of her grasp to ensure that she truly wanted to know what he had to say. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he waited.

“What do you mean, am I sure? Would I have asked you to tell me if I wasn’t?”

He thought about keeping up with the banter, but he was tired of waiting.

“That’s fair. Look, I know I kissed you before—y’know, last night—but I didn’t do it right, and I’d like to make up for that right now if you’ll let me.”

There was a sharp intake of air, and if James could pat himself on the back for catching Lily off-guard, he would. But she regained her composure before shooting a challenging look in his direction.

“Since when does James Potter ask permission before kissing a girl? I thought he—how did Sirius put it? Sets his eyes on what he wants and goes for it?”

James chuckled and cringed at the same time, remembering how Sirius explained James’s intentions during fifth year.

“Well, as true as that may be, I still try to be a gentleman about it. I’d never make an unwanted advance if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Interesting, considering I thought I made it clear what I wanted last night.”

Were his eyes playing tricks on him, or did Lily just take a tiny step forward?

“Is that so?”

“It is. And it sounds like you’re stalling.”

“Please, Evans, you’d know when I’d be stalling.”

“What are you waiting for, then?”

The words barely escaped her mouth, James didn’t waste any more time as his hands lifted to cup Lily’s face. He leaned in and captured her lips with his, the tangy taste of the berries still lingering on her mouth. Everything about Lily’s lips were soft and inviting as her hands found a home on his lower back. He felt her mouth open slightly as her teeth grazed his bottom lip, eliciting a small moan from his mouth.

James deepened the kiss as his tongue swiped across her lips. Her hands pushed him closer as her mouth widened, inviting him to explore. A quack in the distance was the only thing that reminded them where they were, as James slowly broke away. She was more beautiful than he remembered, with her lips swollen from his kiss and the dazed look of bliss on her face.

“Well, I’m used to ending the date with a kiss, not starting it,” her words were breathless.

James chuckled at Lily’s words. “Am I to take that as a good or bad thing?”

“Good. Very good.”

“And just imagine, we’ve got the whole day ahead of us now.”

“This is true. Should we head back and get ready for the rest of the day?”

“Sounds brilliant.”

James had no idea what they were going to do for the day, but he planned on making the most of their time spent together. Nothing could go wrong.

#summerofjily #jily #jily fic #james potter #lily evans #james x lily

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sulphuryasecretcloset · 4 years ago

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What if... 10c

First off, right away, I know some were looking forward to a Mandorin wedding and Grogu joining them, but truth be told, the What If story would have ended up on 500k too if that was to happen, because the boys are still so very young and I love exploring their lives and their first times for everything too much to do a big time jump... So my deep apologies to the ones who were waiting for that, but hope that some sweet teenage feels can soothe the disappointment a little. And, yeah, while we might not reach that point in this fic, of course these two got married and adopted the little bean, just a bit later on in life <3

Second, this is a monster so beware of a chaotic mess of plenty of POVs behind the cut. The main story was Dulcy’s but here she shares it with the others. Beware of feels and maybe a familiar face or two ;)

And, again, THANK YOU to the supporters of this fic. I appreciate every kudos, re-read every comment a worrying amount of times and cherish the reblogs like beskar! (You guys have some of the best tags ever xD )

And Sprungich, this chapter is for you! <3 With the lovely coffee you provided, feel free to send me a message if there is a particular one-shot you would like to see happen! <3

What if Dulsissia hadn’t died, what if she had grabbed Corin and fled? What if she met Davarax? What if…

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10a Part 10b

Epilogue Everyone:

They have six entire months of just blissful happiness and fawning over their new family member, then Zev disappears. Again.

Dulsissia hates when she does that, but Davarax knows there is little they can do about it, except let her know that she’s always welcome home.

After nine days without a word, Zev’sonya reappears.

Standing right outside the entrance door, her face a mask of defiance as usual, Zev sticks her chin out. “Can my friend stay here too?”

Davarax shrugs. “Are they in trouble?”

“Yeah.” Zev replies. “His family is a bunch of mean jerks. He needs a safe place.”

Instantly filled with empathy, Dulsissia steps up next to Davarax. “Of course, baby.”

“Awesome.” Zev turns and gestures for her friend to step forward. “I said they were cool. Come on.”

Davarax instantly places his hand on his blaster while Dulsissia looks like she wants to scream but she’s too shocked to make any sound.

“This is Mose.” Zev’sonya declares with a grin.

A massive Hutt glares at them.

The silence stretches out until Zev’sonya reaches out and smacks the Hutt across the stomach. “Say hello, idiot.”

“Hello.” Mose grouses. A big drop of drool slides from his mouth.

Struggling to regain her words and the ability to form a comprehensible sentence, Dulsissia looks from one to the other until she ends up back with the Hutt. “Uhm, hello. N-nice to meet you?”

“He stays outside.” Davarax growls, not having that thing anywhere near where his children sleeps.

Zev’sonya frowns, but the Hutt nods and doesn’t seem surprised by the order.

A good thirty minutes later, Dulsissia is shoulder by shoulder with Davarax as they stand there and look out at where Corin and the others are cautiously approaching the Hutt, driven by youthful curiosity and bravery.

“That’s a Hutt.” Dulsissia says.

“Mhm.” Davarax confirms.

They continue to stare for a while, then she speaks again, a little worried this time. “What… what do Hutts eat?”

The size of their new arrival says whatever they eat, there will have to be a lot of it. Davarax is not thrilled at the idea of having to get even more credits to feed a Hutt. “Whatever doesn’t run fast enough, I think.” Davarax mutters. “Better keep an eye on that one, ner riduur.”

Dulsissia studies the Hutt. “He doesn’t seem… evil?”

“He’s a Hutt. I’ve seen what they can do.” Davarax declares in a hard voice. “They have their reputation for a reason.” He lets out a soft breath. “If he hurts one of our kids, he’ll find out that we Mandalorians have ours for a reason too. I will skin him alive.”

“If he hurts any one of them, you will have to get in line.” Dulsissia says. “But he hasn’t harmed anyone yet.”

To Davarax’ irritation, she then walks over to join in on the welcoming committee. She introduces herself, tries to put on her polite smile and only shudders a little at the drool dropping from the creature’s mouth and soaking his belly. “So, tell me, how did you meet our Zev?”

The Hutt gives her a blank stare. “She robbed me. I tried to kill her and she offered me a job.”

Dulsissia blinks. “Oh.”

Zev’sonya grins.

Davarax is not amused.

The day passes, so does the next and soon a week, and the Hutt does not harm anyone or try to eat any of them. Mose mostly keeps to himself. He sleeps in the shed Davarax and Din had set up for the speeder bikes, eats less than what a Hutt normally would and doesn’t really speak unless spoken to.

Davarax doesn’t relax, but he won’t end the Hutt’s life before he gives him a reason to as Zev’sonya really seems attached to him for some reason, almost to the point where he rivals her friendship with Din. So he watches and waits.

While he has trained and taught no small amount of children, Davarax have no real experience with babies. They are mystical beings to him, beautiful little wonders with endless potential, and his daughter is very much that. She amazes him when she starts to crawl around with curious determination to explore the world without any sign of fear. If something scares her, she watches it and frowns, but she will not back away and only cries when in pain.

There are moments when Davarax fears his heart will physically burst with pride.

So the horror he feels when he takes his eyes off his daughter for just a moment to reply to a message from Dulsissia, who is on a supply run with Corin and Din, and finds her gone; there are no words to describe it.

She’s not walking yet, but that little girl crawls at lightspeed when she sees something she wants to investigate and something must have caught her eye.

Davarax runs, panic snapping at his heels when he sees the doors are open to let some of the breeze into the too warm house, and his hand goes to his blaster as he sees his precious daughter having made it just outside the entrance door and is struggling to sit up in front of the massive Hutt standing there.

Nonono! Davarax can’t breathe, the fear is too strong and his fingers fumble at the hilt of his blaster and can’t quite get a grip. He’s never failed to draw his weapon before.

The girl reaches up and makes a curious coo.

Mose eases himself down, watches her for half a second, amused by her grabbing hands, then slowly reaches out and holds out a finger to her, which she eagerly takes a hold of and starts exploring.

Davarax’ panicked run morphs into a slow trot and then an awkward halt. He can’t quite believe what he’s seeing.

Unaware of being watched, Mose’s mouth eases ever so slightly into a faint smile. His big eyes give a slow blink with a benign softness that doesn’t belong in a terrifying and cruel Hutt facing the offspring of the enemy.

And then he notices Davarax.

Mose quickly pulls himself back up into his usual towering posture, but him yanking his hand away unsettles the little girl and she topples backwards.

Another fierce jab of fear cuts into Davarax, but before he can do anything; Mose curls his tail behind her and prevents her from falling. He doesn’t take his eyes off Davarax while he does it, keeps staring, keeps holding himself upright and a big glob of drool soon leaks from the corner of his mouth.

Davarax frowns. He’s starting to put some pieces of a puzzle he didn’t want to see together. That posture is not the Hutt’s arrogance, as Davarax had concluded earlier, this is a defensive pose. This is an intimidation tactic to fend off attacks, not seek them out. And the drooling? Now that he thinks about it, Davarax can only remember the Hutt drooling around him and Dulcy.

-He’s scared. The realization comes sudden and hits hard.

And shortly after it, a question arises. How old is he? Mose is far from the tallest Hutt Davarax has ever seen and his body mass is skinny compared to them, it kind of says oversized teenager or young adult. The life expectancy for a Hutt would make them slow developers, no? He might be older than Davarax and Dulcy put together, but still a kid by Hutt standards, and Davarax never once considered it. A Hutt foundling? That’s one for the legends.

Walking over, Davarax bends down and picks up his daughter, noting how Mose cautiously withdraws his tail and curls it protectively around himself. More drool is slipping from his mouth.

Somehow Zev’sonya had seen this side of Mose, or sensed it somehow, and decided to bring him home instead of leaving him to be devoured by the other Hutts. His baby daughter had shown Mose nothing but curiosity and trust. Davarax decides to do the same. He looks over at Mose, who is barely breathing, and nods towards the house. “You can come in.”

For a second there is confusion on Mose’s face and then he mumbles; “The shed is fine.”

A thick dollop of drool hits the ground with a splat. That’s going to be annoying indoors.

“It’s not. You are a guest here.” Davarax heads inside again but pauses in the doorway. “Come on.”

Mose cautiously does as he’s told. He carefully squeezes in through the door and follows Davarax down the hallway. Eyes flickering nervously from doorway to doorway, drooling non-stop and twitching fingers reveal how uncomfortable he is, but Davarax feels a pinch of actual guilt when he stops by the room he wants to place the Hutt in and he turns around to see Mose no longer going for the towering intimidation pose but actually shrinks and somewhat cowers anxiously. Inside the house, the Hutt is at a disadvantage. His movements are restrained and Davarax is armed.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Davarax reassures him, hoisting his warbling daughter a little. “I know I haven’t been the friendliest and I apologize. I thought that you… Well, I thought wrong. And I’m sorry.” He turns and pushes the button to open the door to the room used for storing furniture. “I’ll get the others to help clear it out, but you can fit in here, right?”

“The shed is fine.” Mose mumbles.

“Yeah, you’ll fit in here.” Davarax then realizes something. “But we don’t really have Hutt beds. Will have to make one.”

“The floor is fine.” Mose mumbles.

“I’ll ask Barthor to set up some calculations. It’s going to have to be strong.” Davarax sighs. “Okay, so what else will we need. Maybe-”

“What’s going on here?” Zev’sonya’s voice is sharp. She stalks forward and places herself between him and Mose.

Davarax nods towards the open room. “We need to get the others and clean this out. For Mose.”

Zev’sonya blinks with surprise and then, for the very first time, she gives Davarax a genuine and bright smile. “Really?”

Momentarily stunned by the sweet, happy side of her, usually hidden behind frowns and scowls, Davarax has to clear his throat. “Yeah. Really. We can’t have guests sleeping out in the shed.”

“The shed is fine.” Mose mumbles.

“I’ll get the others.” Zev’sonya declares and runs off.

Davarax watches her, gives a faint shake of his head in amazement, then looks over at the awkward and heavily drooling Hutt. He sighs with a faint smile. One more troubled youngster. Why not.

Barthor is heading back to his speeder bike after finally getting his hands on the last computer chip he needs for his little project. He’s parked right outside of the small town and it shouldn’t take more than fifteen minutes before he’s back home.

It shouldn’t, but it does.

Because as he steps outside the town walls, something wraps itself around his ankles, tightens and he drops like a roped tauntaun.

Training kicks in. Barthor instantly reaches for his blaster and his blade, seconds before he’s rolled over on his back to face his captor.

Blinking surprised, Barthor forgets to draw his weapons.

“Hello.” A voice says.

“Uh…” Barthor replies. “Hello?”

“They say you are very clever. Is that true?”

Barthor doesn’t do modesty. “I suppose so.” He gives his restrained ankles a pointed look. “Is that why you roped me? To ask me if I’m clever?”

“Maybe.” There is a flick of a wrist and the rope loosens so he can free himself. “Your friends seem more brawn than brain, which made me curious about you.”

Barthor gets up, a little tense. “They’re more clever than this entire town put together.”

“Loyal too?” A thoughtful hum. “You really are interesting, Barthor.”

“Wait. How do you know my name.” Barthor takes a step forward as they step away. “W-what’s your name?”

“Kaleo.”

“Do you have to go?” Barthor shrugs a little. “You can’t just rope some guy, ask him if he’s clever, insult his family and then walk away without an explanation, you know?”

A soft laugh. “I told you; I find you interesting.”

“The feeling is mutual…” Barthor mumbles. Then he twitches when they step away again. “Can I see you again?”

“Sure.”

“When?”

“When you find out where I live.”

Puzzled, Barthor shakes his head. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because you’re the clever one.” Is the reply. “You’ll figure it out.”

With the constant adding to their family, it comes as quite the shock when they lose one.

Davarax, Din and Paz are at a marked on the neighbouring planet when Din suddenly goes from half-asleep to full alert and shaking with eagerness.

Before Davarax can ask him what is going on, Din runs off.

It’s not difficult to track him down and when he does, Davarax instantly realizes why Din had reacted the way he did. He remembers the clothing on the corpses that littered the streets where he’d found Din and the man talking to Din right now is wearing that very thing.

It’s Din’s tribe. What’s left of it, anyway.

It’s a handful of people who have set up some stalls at the end of a marketplace. A couple of kids are running around in outfits similar to the one Din had worn when Davarax had brought him back to the Covert that first time.

Din is talking in a language he barely remembers, struggles a bit with the words and pronunciation, but the smile on his face is something Davarax can count on one hand he’s seen in the Covert. And when they go back home, there is a distance in his eyes that wasn’t there before and a heavy sadness settles in the pit of Davarax’ stomach.

Back home, Din instantly seeks out Corin to tell him about what had happened and for once he is the one eagerly talking while Davarax and Paz exchange quiet looks.

For the next week, Davarax spends no small amount of hours checking out the story of these people wearing clothes from Din’s tribe. He stalks and spies and learns as much about every individual as possible. He has to know they are who they say they are. He has to know they are good people.

They are.

Meanwhile, Dulsissia hugs Corin a little closer and a little more often that week, unable to explain to him why because she has a weak hope that she, Paz and Davarax might be wrong.

They’re not.

Din wants to go back and talk to them again and once he does, he learns that they are about to leave for the next planet on their path. After losing their home, they lead a rather nomadic life, searching for others from their tribe and lost relics to reclaim. They ask if Din will join them.

“Please don’t go…” Corin asks, tears in his eyes, holding on to Din’s arm as if he would float away into space if he didn’t.

“It’s just six months.” Din reassures him. “Then we are coming back here a-and we could-”

“What if we’re gone by then?” Corin blurts out, absolutely miserable.

“Then I’ll find you.” Din promises, reaching out and placing his hand behind Corin’s neck. “I’ll find you, okay?” He leans in and rests his forehead to his. “Stay safe. Look after the others. And we’ll talk again in six months.”

Silent tears running down his face, Corin gives a faint nod.

Din walks over to Dulsissia and lets her hug him, kiss his hair, squeeze his face and kiss his forehead with a patience he’s never show before. He even holds on to her a little longer than usual. Paz is furious and refuses to utter a word. Raga mutters for Din to look after himself. Zev’sonya is nowhere to be found. Barthor gives him a brief hug and wishes him luck.

Davarax waits a small distance away from the others. When Din walks over to him, Davarax has to clear his throat to speak. “You got everything you need?”

Din nods.

A heavy silence hangs between them for a moment before Davarax tells him in a quiet voice; “If you change your mind, if something happens, if… if anything, you send me a message and I’ll come for you. Day, night, one day from now, one week or a month, it doesn’t matter. You always have a place here, Din.”

Din nods and looks away, trying to hide the tears in his eyes.

Davarax hesitates before speaking again. “Din, I…” I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I failed you.

Din looks back at him.

“Be careful out there.” Davarax says, hating himself for his cowardice. “And remember, if you need us, if you need me, I’m here. Always.”

Din nods again, a couple of tears breaking free and he turns and stalks towards where his tribe is waiting for him.

Dulsissia absently pulls Corin close as he heaves for air between the tears.

Paz turns and stalks back on board the Razor Crest, Raga follows, then Barthor, Dulsissia and Corin. Davarax is the last to leave, his eyes on Din for as long as he can see him...

Corin’s heart is broken. His best friend is gone. No, not just best friend… He and Din was… Whatever they were, it was special. It was not like anything he’s ever felt for or with anyone else.

A heavy sadness settles over their family for a long, long time. They all miss Din and it feels like they are missing a limb.

His parents find distraction in his sister. Paz and Raga find comfort in each other. Zev’sonya runs off and does whatever she does. Barthor keeps heading into town to be with this Kaleo person. Corin is the only one who can’t stop thinking about how Din isn’t there any more.

None of the girls and boys in town can take his mind off Din. Nothing can.

Which is probably why Davarax agrees to let Corin come along on a bounty hunting job. Usually he goes alone on these, but Corin asks and after a brief discussion with his mother, Davarax agrees.

“You do as I tell you. Understand? This is a hunt and they will do whatever it takes to escape. Including shooting us.” Davarax warns Corin as they enter the city to find their bounty.

“I understand.” Maybe getting shot at might cure the numb feeling inside?

It does. Once the first blaster shot flies by him, Corin yelps and flails and forgets all about being sad. He has to focus on surviving instead.

Davarax goes after their prey like a Corellian hound. Corin has gotten so used to seeing his mild and calm side that he’d almost forgotten how dangerous and brutal his dad can be if he wants to.

They chase after their bounty into an abandoned building so worn down it is barely standing.

“Stay here.” Davarax orders and uses his jetpack to fly up the middle of the winding stairs.

Corin stays, but when he leans forward against the railing to look up to see if Davarax had caught his prize; the railing just gives in and Corin falls.

Luckily he doesn’t drop more than a floor before he slams into the ground, but it’s enough to knock the air out of him and scramble his brain for a bit. (If not for his helmet, his brain would probably have been scattered all across the floor…)

When his blurry sight clears up, Corin realizes that what he thought were white pillars are moving and he rolls over on his back with a startled sound to see the storm troopers walking towards him. He fumbles for his blaster, but a kick to his hand sends the weapon sliding across the floor and then a storm trooper is pointing their blaster right at his t-visor.

Corin closes his eyes and prepares to die.

“Wait.” One of the troopers says. “Wait. Stop. Wait.”

Corin opens one eye and sees one trooper grabbing the arm of the one aiming at him.

“Look. That’s a kid.” The trooper preventing the other from shooting says. “You can’t shoot a kid, man.”

“He’s right.” A third trooper says, appearing next to them. “We don’t shoot kids, remember?”

“But this one has seen us.” The one with the blaster growls.

“The kid is not going to say anything.” The one who had prevented him from shooting says, then turns to Corin. “Right? You’re not going to say anything? You never saw us, kid. Right?”

Corin nods. Sure. Whatever. He’ll agree to anything as long as they don’t shoot him.

“Put the weapon down, Pat.” The third one says and takes off his helmet. It’s a man in his early twenties with dark hair and tired eyes. “Listen, kid, I’m sorry. We thought you were someone else. You run along.”

Growling, the one called Pat reluctantly holsters his blaster. “You better be right, Dee. If this kid gets us killed, I will never forgive you.”

The one who had stopped him from shooting reaches out a hand towards Corin. “Come on, kid. Upsy daisy.”

Dazed, not sure what the right thing to do is, Corin slowly reaches out and lets him pull him up on his feet. “T-thank you…”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. But you better get out of here.” The man says.

Dee puts his helmet back on. “Drop is right. Go.”

Corin takes one step, but then something heavy lands behind him.

“There you are, little Mando.” It’s the twi’lek man Davarax had been hired to hunt down.

Pat reaches out, grabs Corin’s shoulder and yanks him towards him and the others. “Stay down, kid!”

A mess of blaster fire follows. Corin is boxed in by white armor as the three take up a defensive stance around him and he can’t see what happens, just hears the battle. It’s over within a minute.

When the storm troopers step away, Corin sees the twi’lek lying there, dead, with a blaster in his hand that he’d meant to use on Corin.

“Someone will have heard that.” Dee says. “We have to get out of here. If the others find us, it’s all over.”

“Do you think we’ll get a trial?” Drop asks with a touch of hysterical humour.

“No. They’ll execute us in this shitty place.” Is Pat’s deadpan reply.

Dee turns back to Corin. “Go. Hurry. You don’t want to be here either if the imperial army decides to check out this place. And be careful.”

Corin opens his mouth to thank them when another heavy shape lands behind the storm troopers. An arm goes around Dee’s throat and he’s yanked back against unforgiving armor while Davarax lifts his blaster to fire at Pat. Drop instantly draws his own blaster.

“No!” Corin runs to stand between them, his helmet nearly touching the muzzle of Davarax’ blaster. “Don’t shoot them!”

Davarax hesitates, ignoring Dee’s wheezing attempts to pull his arm away from his throat. “Corin, what is going on here?”

After the explaining is done, Davarax reluctantly lets go of Dee, who stumbles forward into the protective grasp of his friends and coughs there for a moment while Davarax yanks Corin over to his side just in case.

“What are three storm troopers doing down here?” Davarax asks, suspicious.

“I think they are deserters…” Corin replies, looking at the three. “Am I right?”

“Hand the kid a medal.” Drop says with a wry smile in his voice. “Correct on the first try.”

Corin looks up at Davarax. “They can’t stay here. We have to help them, dad. Please?”

Davarax sighs.

And that is how he not only returns home with credits for a successful hunt and a revitalized Corin, but also with three ex-storm troopers in the cargo hold of the Razor Crest.

Dulsissia brings their daughter to greet them when the ship lands, only to freeze at the sight of what follows her husband and son off the ship.

“It’s okay, mom.” Corin reassures her. “They’re good guys. They saved my life.”

Dulsissia swallows down her fear and forces herself to put on a smile. As much as she hates that armor, she cannot hate men who has saved her son. “Then I am in your debt, sirs.”

While Davarax walks over and holds out his arms as the little girl eagerly reaches out for him, the storm troopers line up next to the ship and remove their helmets.

“Your son saved our lives in return, so I figure we are even, m’am.” Dee says.

Pat nods. The tallest of the three and with a semi-permanent scowl on his face.

Drop is staring at Dulsissia. “That is true. And something else that is true is the fact that you have to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, my lady. You don’t happen to need a new father to your charming son here?”

Davarax looks up from the toddler in his arms and his t-visor locks on Drop. “I think I changed my mind. I’m going to shoot you after all.”

Drop’s eyebrows flies up. “Oooh. You two are…? Oh. Ah. My bad.”

Flattered, Dulsissia smiles at Davarax. “I like these guys.”

Davarax grunts. “Yeah, I’m definitely shooting them.”

He doesn’t. Instead, the three are allowed to spend the night in the house and Davarax and Corin will head into town tomorrow to get them other clothes so they won’t be shot on sight. But the evening is spent with Davarax and Dee talking for hours over some strong smelling drink, speaking quietly and solemnly.

Corin tries to eavesdrop, but he keeps getting distracted by Drop constantly trying to cheat to win the second round of the boardgame he had challenged just about everyone to join in on.

Paz, Raga and Barthor had all been a little bit taken back when three storm troopers walked into the house, but then Paz shrugged and decided to just go with it as it wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d experienced since leaving the Covert. Raga and Barthor couldn’t ague against that.

Zev’sonya and Mose have no opinion as they have disappeared again. Corin wonders what Din would think. He hates storm troopers. Din would probably never allow a storm trooper to stay with him.

The next day, in town, looking for clothing that will fit the men, Corin is not prepared to make another friend in such a short time.

“Hi.” A voice says as Corin tries to decide between two different leather jackets for Dee and it startles him into jumping around to face the culprit.

The owner of the voice is a brightly smiling blond boy around Corin’s own age. He is broad shouldered and clearly no stranger to staying in shape, but his incredibly cheerful attitude drowns out almost everything else about him. “You need help with that? Go with the left one. Way cooler.”

Corin blinks. “O-kay… Thank you?”

“No problem.” The boy steps closer. “I’m Leo. What’s your name?”

“Corin…” Corin decides Leo is right. The left one ‘is’ way cooler. He hangs back the other. “I haven’t seen you around here before?”

“I’ve just arrived with my family.” Leo happily shares. “My mom brought my dad to this place. He’s sick. There’s a doctor here that they say can help him.”

“Oh…” Corin shudders at the idea of either of his parents getting sick and it must be horrible not to have any friends in a new place during such a time. “So, uh, I’m looking to buy my, uh, uncles some clothes. All three of them. For their birthday. Today.”

Leo frowns a little. “They’re all born on the same day?”

“They’re triplets.” Corin lies with a tense smile. “You wanna help me pick out the rest?”

Brightening again, Leo coughs once and then nods eagerly. “Sure. Yeah. Awesome.”

Dulsissia is relieved to notice that things improve a little after that. The former troopers are eager to abandon their armor, which Davarax throws out of the airlock somewhere in space, and Dulsissia is pleased to discover a house for rent not too far away from their own where they can hide out and decide their next move. (Dee swears to pay them back and will not hear of anything else.)

Plus her son has made a new friend who seems to be able to cheer him up again, which makes Leo a very welcome guest in her eyes.

Paz bullies Leo a little but loses interest when it’s like kicking a defenceless Porg. Raga and Barthor both treat him with mild indifference. Davarax appears a little overwhelmed by the boy’s enthusiasm and habit of holding on to an uncomfortable subject, but her baby boy is finally laughing again and that is music to Dulsissia’s ears.

A little over two months pass before the next incident occurs.

At the shooting range they had set up behind the house, Dulsissia aims her blaster at the target despite little hope of actually hitting it as long as Davarax’ mouth is on her neck and his hand slides across her stomach to urge her to lean back against him. She fires and misses and doesn’t care as that gives her the excuse to twist around a little to making him move his lips up to hers.

Dulsissia knows how important it is to be improving her aim, but her husband is so incredibly attractive, sweet, kind, caring and the best kisser ever, so…

Davarax suddenly pulls away to prod at his vambrace. “Sorry, I…” He prods some more before stalking over to pick up his helmet. “Just…”

Dulsissia waits while he puts his helmet back on and listens to the message he’d just received. Whomever had contacted him had to be someone of importance for him to react like this, so she feels worry instead of annoyance at the interruption.

A little while later, he removes his helmet and Davarax sends her a wide-eyed look. “It’s Din.”

“Din?” Dulsissia’s worry triples. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah.” Davarax replies, sounding a little dazed. Then a faint smile appears. “He wants to come home.”

Getting Din back feels wonderfully right. Dulsissia feels no small amount of relief seeing the teenager again and find him looking healthy and unharmed. He even smiles when Paz hugs him a little too hard.

Everyone except the absent Zev’sonya and Mose are eager to welcome him home, especially Corin. Her sweet son has been climbing the walls since he heard Din was coming back and finally the two are reunited again.

“So much has happened while you were gone.” Corin declares. “Nemi is starting to walk. Barthor keeps sneaking off on dates with this person he thinks we don’t know about. I went on a bounty hunting mission with Dad and met these three awesome dudes who saved my life and are now our neighbours. And I can’t wait for you to meet Leo! Mom said I could invite him for dinner so you can say hello.”

“Our dear neighbours are coming over to dinner as well. I invited them.” Dulsissia adds, with a touch of glee as it makes Davarax groan. She knows he gets along really well with Dee, but Pat is too tense to relax around and Drop winds the youngsters up even more than hyper-sugar.

Din exhales with a faint smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I guess I missed out on a lot, huh?”

Paz reaches out and smacks the back of his head. “That’s what you get for leaving, idiot.”

Deliberately falling behind a bit while the teens stalk towards the house, Dulsissia hoists the toddler on her arm before looking over at the quiet Davarax walking next to her. He’s watching Din.

“Did he tell you why he wanted to come back?” Dulsissia asks.

“No.” Davarax replies, sounding uncomfortably solemn. “He hasn’t said much of anything.”

“You think they were mean to him?”

“No.” Davarax says again. “He wasn’t angry or scared or resentful or… or anything. Sad, if I was to make a guess. But he was quite determined to leave.” He sighs. “If he wants us to know, Din will tell us in his own time.”

Dulsissia hopes he’s right.

They are going to have to move. The house is nowhere near big enough for all the souls who have come into their lives, but Dulsissia realizes that she’s going to miss this place. She’s grown so very fond of it. There are so many good memories here. And they keep creating more.

Barthor is sitting by the kitchen table with Nemi on his lap, keeping her entertained and hiding from the lively ruckus in the living room where there is far too much activity and far too many people for his taste.

Dulsissia is mixing up some treats on a plate when Davarax appears to hover in the doorway to the kitchen.

“Need some help?” He asks.

“No, but thank you for asking, cyare.” Dulsissia replies. She glances back at him. “Things okay in there?”

Davarax leans his shoulder against the door frame and sighs. “I think having Drop and Leo in one room might cause a black hole to appear. That kind of energy is not natural.”

Giggling a little, Dulsissia adds some fruit to the plate as well. “Leo is a sweetheart.” She glances back at Davarax again and sees Paz hovering behind him and trying to sneak into the kitchen but is being blocked by the man. “And Drop is always welcome in our house.”

It’s mean of her to tease but it is kind of flattering to see Davarax’ eyes narrow a little as he’s reminded of how interested Drop had been at the very first sight of her. Dulsissia purses her lips thoughtfully. “I wonder how he got his nickname?”

“Probably because his parent dropped him on his head while he was a baby.” Davarax mutters.

This is when Paz loses patience, wraps his arms around Davarax’ waist and simply picks him up.

What follows is probably the most hilarious thing Dulsissia has ever seen in her entire life.

The raw shock and utter disbelief on Davarax’ face as his arms and legs flail while he’s unceremoniously moved to the side and set back down again is something she will remember until the day she dies. Even after Paz has set him back on his feet and simply saunters into the kitchen to find himself something to drink, Davarax stumbles away from him and glues his back to the wall, looking horrified. He’s not a small and frail man, by far, and probably hasn’t been lifted since he was a child. If anything, Davarax is the one to pick other people up and move ‘them’ out of his way.

But Paz is now quite a bit taller than him and he’s gaining muscle by the day. Davarax watches him warily as he saunters back out and even takes a step away so not to risk humiliation again.

“Welcome to my world.” Barthor mutters.

Dulsissia breaks down laughing, wishing she had a way to immortalize the look on Davarax’ face.

Din greets Dee, Pat and Drop with polite distance, but he does brighten a bit when, to Dulsissia’s surprise, Zev’sonya and Mose suddenly appear in the doorway.

“I heard you were coming back.” Zev says with a grin, reaching out a hand towards Din, and they pull each other close for a brief hug/bump against each other.

“I had to come back and make sure you stay out of trouble.” Din replies with a grin of his own.

Over by where Dulsissia and Corin are sitting, Leo grabs her son’s arm with a soft gasp. “Is that your sister?” Unlike the gawking ex-troopers, he seems oblivious to the Hutt standing there as well.

Corin looks over at where Zev’sonya is bragging to Din about whatever she and Mose have been up to, nothing legal would be Dulsissia’s guess, and Corin makes a face. “No. She’s, uh, it’s complicated. She kind of lives here with us. Sometimes.”

Leo can’t seem to take his eyes off her. “Dude, you got to introduce me to her.”

Corin frowns. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to marry her.”

Corin looks somewhere between amused and genuinely scared for Leo’s safety and sanity. “Maybe you shouldn’t say that so she can hear it…”

“I’m in love.” Leo breathes, still with his eyes glued on Zev. “Come on, man. Introduce me.”

Corin looks over at Dulsissia, who shrugs. If Leo wants to risk his life, who are they to deny him? And maybe, hopefully, that sweet boy can be a good, calming influence on the troubled girl?

Dulsissia leans back and watches as Corin and Leo walk over and the introduction is made. It’s no surprise that Zev’sonya’s immediate reaction is to scowl and throw her emotional walls up, but Leo isn’t put off. He’s gentle in his approach, careful, like he’s defusing a bomb, but he’s not scared.

Dulsissia is about to smile, but then she sees Din’s face and she doesn’t feel like smiling anymore.

He’s looking at Leo with something dangerously close to hatred in his dark eyes.

When things wind down for the night, Dee, Drop and Pat agree to walk Leo home, despite the blond’s objections that he’s perfectly capable of getting there by himself. Dulsissia sends with them food and snacks, knowing they’re still finding their footing as civilians, and doesn’t know what makes her flush the hardest; Dee’s soft kindness, Pat’s intense respect or Drop’s shameless flirting as they fight to thank her.

She looks over at where Corin and Leo are saying goodbye, the blond making Corin promise to be his best man at his and Zev’s wedding, and the two laugh before Corin gives him a gentle kov’nyn and shoves Leo into Drop’s arms.

Din is nowhere to be found.

After they clean up, one by one they saunter off to their rooms.

Her riduur is one of the last to go. The long journey to get Din had Davarax start yawning early in the evening and now he’s close to falling asleep on his feet, so he only puts up a weak fight when Dulsissia orders him to bed while she finishes up the last bits of the cleaning.

Plus there are a couple of things she has to clear up before she has any chance of finding sleep.

Dulsissia piles food on a plate before heading to the backdoor and stepping outside the house.

Mose is lounging on the grass, staring up at the stars, but he carefully pushes himself up when he sees her approaching him. His gaze flicker cautiously from the plate to her face and back again.

“Here.” Dulsissia holds the plate out for him. If someone had told her that she’d be worrying over the well-being of a Hutt when she was younger, she would have laughed her head off. “I noticed you didn’t eat much earlier. You got to be hungry.”

Mose hesitates before slowly reaching out and accepting the plate. “Thank you.”

But Mose isn’t the only one who is on her mind tonight. “Do you know where Din is?”

Mose lifts his tail and points towards the Razor Crest.

Of course. His favourite place. Dulsissia sighs and pats Mose’s arm as she walks by him on the way to the ship. “Eat up and then get some rest, baby.”

Mose watches her leave in silence.

The Razor Crest’s left ramp, the one out of sight of the house, is lowered and Dulsissia makes her way up it and into the ship. Once inside, she sees Din right away.

He’s sitting on one of the fold-down seats in the cargo hold, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

“Din?” Dulsissia speaks softly, hoping not to scare him. “Are you okay?”

Jolting into an upright sitting position, Din stares wide-eyed at her. “Dulcy. Yeah. Yeah, I-I’m fine.”

He’s lying. It’s obvious. Sighing, she takes a step forward and gestures towards the seat next to him. “Mind if I sit with you for a bit?”

“I don’t mind.” Din looks cornered and almost a bit scared.

Sitting down, Dulsissia looks over and fights the urge to hug him close. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” The answer comes a little too fast and his voice is too weak for it to be true.

“You can tell me, baby.” Dulsissia reassures him. “I promise I won’t tell anyone else.”

Din is about to say something but then he pauses and his eyes flicker for a moment before he asks, quietly, cautiously; “You promise?”

Dulsissia places one of her hands over his and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I promise.”

Din hesitates, then takes a deep breath and looks towards the open ramp. “I just thought… I thought that being with my parents people, it would feel like home. I thought I’d finally feel like I belonged. But… I didn’t. All I could think about was going back to you guys.”

Her heart shivers with pain, but Dulsissia is careful to keep her voice free of it. “You left because you didn’t feel like you belonged with us?”

Din turns his gaze down to the floor. “You feel like family to me…”

There is something unspoken at the end there. Dulsissia squeezes his hand again. “But?”

Din doesn’t answer right away. He tenses up and his breathing becomes a bit laboured and choppy, as if trying to fight back a wave of emotions, but eventually he loses and Din looks up at her with tears in his eyes. “He adopted Corin!” The tears begin to slide down Din’s face. “He found me, he saved my life and taught me almost everything I know, but he gave me away to those people and then adopts Corin. What is wrong with me? W-why doesn’t he want me…?”

“Oh, baby…” Dulsissia whispers and gently eases him into leaning over so she can hold him close, running a comforting hand up and down his back while his shoulders shake with grief. “Sweet, sweet baby. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. Davarax simply thought you’d be happier with parents who could be with you instead of him who had to leave all the time. And he knew how dangerous his work was. It was not because he didn’t love you. He does.”

“He’s got you, Corin and Nemi now. He has his family.” Din whispers. “If I hadn’t come back, no one would have cared.”

“That’s not true.” Dulsissia argues gently. “We all missed you terribly.”

“Yeah. I saw.” Din’s voice takes on a sharp edge. “Corin missed me so terribly he replaced me with the first cute guy he could find.”

Petting the dark hair, Dulsissia sighs. “Din, Corin doesn’t think of Leo that way at all. They’re just friends. You don’t have to be jealous of Leo, trust me.”

Din pulls back to stare at her with a startled look, despite the tears still making his cheeks shine. “I didn’t mean… I’m not jealous.”

That makes Dulsissia smile a little. “Yeah. You are.” She wipes away a tear from his face. “Leo is a nice boy, but he couldn’t steal Corin away from you even if he wanted to.”

Din flushes and his gaze slides away, too embarrassed to meet hers.

“Din.” Dulsissia makes him look at her again. “You have a home with us. You do belong with us. We all love you.”

That brings a faint smile to Din’s face and he lets her pull him into another hug and this time, he hugs her back.

The conversation helps, but it doesn’t solve everything.

Dulsissia can see the tension to Din’s shoulders and the hint of anger in his eyes at times. And his patience becomes close to non-existent. Especially when it comes to Paz sliding right back into the role as his protector and supervisor.

“You don’t like those.” Paz says as Din reaches for some spicy spinach at dinner. He takes a hold of the tongs and puts some other vegetables on Din’s plate instead. “Here.”

Dulsissia sees the spark in Din’s eyes half a second before he explodes.

“Maybe I’ve started to like them!” Din shouts, making everyone turn to stare at him.

“You don’t like them!” Paz shouts back. “You refused to eat them the day before you left, idiot!”

Davarax glares over at them. “Hey! Tone it down. Now.”

Din grits his teeth and stares at his plate. Paz looks tense enough to want to punch him. But they leave it that. That day.

Because that is just the start. More shouting matches follow and the comments go from angry to mean as the tempers keep growing hotter and hotter.

When Din stalks off after bellowing that he regrets coming back, Dulsissia decides it has gone on long enough as she sees the hurt in Paz’ eyes. She inches over to the boy who now towers over her. “Paz…?”

Exhaling his anger, now just sad and tired, Paz looks over at her. “Yeah?”

Dulsissia puts on her most innocent face. “I was wondering if I could ask you a huge favour?”

He shrugs. “Sure.” While he was rumoured to be sullen and uncooperative at the Covert, Paz has always been incredibly amiable and helpful to her. Her sweet giant boy.

“I’ve been super-busy lately, got a lot of projects going on and with my blaster training and… Well, you know how it is.” Dulsissia lets out a dramatic sigh. “I could really need a little help with Nemi.”

Paz actually smiles a little. “No, you don’t.”

“Yeah, I do, actually.” Dulsissia insists, giving him her doe eyes. “I’m serious, Paz. I would really appreciate your help.”

“Why me?” Paz asks. “Why not Davarax or Corin?”

“Davarax, well, I don’t want him to do more than his share. And Corin has his mind on other things these days. If you don’t want to do it, that’s fine. I can probably ask-”

“No. I’ll do it.” Paz shoots in. “No problem. Just let me know what you need me to do.”

Dulsissia almost smiles. She could have had a great career in the Imperial army with her evil genius.

“Cyare?” Davarax’ voice says, half a day later. His voice worrying sweet and high pitched.

“Yes, cyare?” Dulsissia replies, curious.

He steps into the room where she’s doing adjustments on her helmet. “Do you mind telling me why I come home to find that our daughter has been kidnapped by a 6”7 man-child who told me he would, and I quote; knock my helmet off if I woke her up after he just got her to sleep?”

Giggling, Dulsissia wanders over to give him a quick kiss on his stubbled cheek. “I asked him to help out.”

Davarax frowns. “Why? Are you okay? I could-”

“Din and Paz have been fighting a lot lately. Din wants to stand on his own feet and Paz is too overprotective to let him so I decided to defuse things by directing Paz’ paternal instincts over to someone who wouldn’t mind.”

Sighing, Davarax returns the sign of affection and places a light kiss on her forehead. “I love how you love these kids and how you want them all to get along, but those two? With their tempers and stubbornness, I fear they might be doomed to be butting heads while killing anyone who dares to hurt the other.”

Dulsissia fails to hold back a smug smile. “Let’s see, shall we?”

At dinner, Din sends Paz a defiant look as he reaches for the spinach again, ready to erupt the second Paz makes a comment, but ends up having to ease some over on his plate without a word as Paz is too busy tending to Nemi trying to rub her food into her hair to care what Din is doing.

(Din still doesn’t like spinach and ends up just pushing it around on his plate with a frown.)

As days go by, Din tries to provoke one way and the other, determined to show he is the master of his own life and that Paz doesn’t get to tell him what to do, but time and again; Paz is distracted by the child and ends up ignoring Din all together.

Ignoring him little too much, as it turns out. Because one day Dulsissia sees Din stare after Paz’ retreating back as he carries Nemi off to fetch the toys she wants and she sees the sad slump to Din’s shoulders and the lost expression on his face. First Davarax, then Corin, and now Paz, Din thinks he’s lost them all.

Oh no. Her plan is working too well! Curse her evil genius.

Dulsissia considers interfering again, but luckily she doesn’t have time to conjure up another plan before she gets to witness Din inch over to where Paz and her daughter are building with blocks on the floor. Din asks what they’re up to, listens and nods and then cautiously offers to help.

Paz looks up at him, surprised, then lights up and gestures for him to sit down with them.

Together they watch over and help the little one. There is not a single harsh word between them.

“Fine…” Davarax mutters as he comes to a halt next to where Dulsissia is lurking and spying on them. “You win. Your little trick is working.” He nuzzles her neck. “Jedi witch.”

Quietly cackling, offering up her neck, Dulsissia feels unbearably smug. “No trick. Just logic. You Mandalorians really do love to complicate things.”

But Dulsissia’s evil plan do affect another victim when Paz and Raga are in the middle of another make-out session in the living room, which Dulsissia is pretty sure is just to annoy Davarax, and when her daughter makes an unhappy whine, Paz instantly breaks the kiss to see what is going on.

Barthor awkwardly adjusts the child in his arms but she is clearly still not pleased.

“You’re holding her all wrong.” Paz states, taking a hold of Raga’s hips, lifts her off his lap and sets her mindlessly aside so he can walk over to Barthor to show him what he’s doing wrong.

Raga rolls her eyes and flops down to lie on the sofa with a frustrated groan. She sends Dulsissia a glare.

Dulsissia responds with an apologetic smile.

She’s not forgiven.

Pleased that she had managed to salvage the friendship between Din and Paz, Dulsissia decides to take the chance. “Dav?” She speaks into the darkness of the night as the two are curled up together in bed.

“Mmh?” He mumbles against her shoulder.

“You have to talk to Din.”

There is a moment of silence, then Davarax lifts his head to look down at her, what little he can see in the darkness. “Is he okay? What’s wrong? Did he tell you something?”

“I promised not to tell anyone.” Dulsissia replies. “Just… please talk to him.”

Davarax hesitates, then slowly lies back down again. He doesn’t say anything, but he is awake for a long, long time after that.

All it takes is a simple question if Din wants to help him do some repairs on the Razor Crest and Davarax has the boy eagerly trotting along towards what he fears will be a rather uncomfortable conversation. Something is clearly wrong and odds are that it’s Davarax’ own doing.

Davarax has a moment of soft affection when he sees the adoration in Din’s eyes when he looks at the trusty old ship. He might be the only one who loves her as much as Davarax himself does.

They work in the cockpit in silence for a bit until Davarax manages to build up his courage.

Sighing, he wipes his oily hands on a horribly oily rag. “Din?”

“Yeah, yeah, almost done.” Din replies, half-way under the control panel.

“Just… leave it for a bit.” Davarax says. “I want to talk to you.”

Din’s body freezes. He breathes once, twice, then he inches out and looks up at where Davarax is sitting in the pilot seat. His face is awfully pale behind the smudges of oil. “She told you.”

“Nobody told me anything.” Davarax reassures him. “Whatever secrets you have, they are still yours. I just want to make sure you’re okay. A lot can happen in two months.”

Staring at him, studying his face, Din eventually relaxes a little as he can’t see whatever he fears seeing in Davarax’ eyes. He clears his throat, inches himself further out so he can sit up. “I’m fine.”

“You hardly said a word the entire ride back home, Din. You’ve been fighting non-stop with Paz. I barely see you with Corin anymore. You’re not fine.” Davarax says, firm but gentle. “Will you let me help?”

Frowning, Din stares at him and there’s a touch of anger there. “So now you care?”

Davarax blinks, not expecting that. “I always care.” And the snort Din gives at that feels like a slap to Davarax’ face. He reaches out and places a hand on Din’s shoulder, making him meet his eyes. “Din. I care.”

The teenager tries for a defiant stare, but there is hurt there and Davarax realizes this is why Dulcy had told him to talk to Din. Guilt settles on Davarax’ shoulders and weighs him down so hard he can barely breathe. “You think I don’t care? Why? Because I let you leave?”

Din shrugs.

“I didn’t want you to leave, Din. Of course I didn’t. But you wanted to go, you wanted to be with them, and what you want is more important to me than what I want. It wasn’t because I didn’t care.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you gave me away…” Din mumbles quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor.

Davarax opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times. Oh, the guilt is so heavy it hurts now. “Din, I…” He gently squeezes the boy’s shoulder and makes him look back up at him again. “I’m sorry that didn’t work out. I thought… I just thought that it would be better for you to have a steady family, someone who didn’t leave all the time and who might not come back alive. I wasn’t in a good place back then, Din. But I never stopped caring. I still care. I will always care.”

“You have a new family now.” Din mumbles. “I have no one, because no one wants me.”

“Hey.” Davarax places his other hand on Din’s other shoulder, holding a little too tight but unable to stop himself “My family? You are a part of that. You always will be. Nothing can ever change that. From the very first time I saw you, the second you gave me your trust, you were family to me.”

Din’s eyes grow blank with tears and he smiles a little. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Davarax confirms, then leans a little closer to give him a pointed look. “You’re the only one I’d trust to look after the Razor Crest if I end up parking my slippers for good.”

Din’s smile widens and turns genuine. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Davarax confirms again, now with a faint laugh. He gives him a light shake before he gets up and pulls Din up on his feet too so he can hug him close. Feeling Din’s arms go around him in return and how tights he holds on makes Davarax’ heart shrivel up with even more guilt. “I’m sorry, Din. I’m sorry I let them adopt you. I’m sorry you thought I didn’t care whether you left or not. I’ll try to do better from now on. I promise.”

“S’okay.” Din mumbles, his face buried into Davarax’ chest.

“You forgive me?”

Din nods.

Davarax runs his hand over Din’s smooth hair. He doesn’t deserve his forgiveness after so many mistakes, but that’s not his decision to make. All he can do is try to keep from making more and not have Din regret his kindness. “Thank you.”

Din merely hugs him harder.

When Din and Davarax return to the house, Dulsissia is relieved to hear Din talking like he used to; relaxed and almost playful with his great hero by his side. Davarax is smiling too.

She hides in the kitchen, doesn’t want to interfere, but she’s dying to ask. It takes no small amount of will-power for her to just wait.

Finally Davarax walks into the kitchen.

She turns to face him, about to start talking, when his hands cup her face and he leans down to give her a couple of soft, lingering kisses on her lips, before kissing her forehead and just pulling her into a tight, lingering hug as he sighs.

“Why do you put up with me?” Davarax asks.

“Because you’re hot.” She replies. Then she leans back and looks up at him. “So, you talked to him?”

“Yeah.” Davarax gingerly eases a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Thank you.”

Smiling, Dulsissia goes up on her toes to give him a soft kiss.

Luckily Leo is busy harassing Zev and Barthor is off to be with his mystery date, so Din gets to have Corin all to himself when they head into town to buy some supplies.

A lot has happened in the two months Din has been away, that much is clear by Leo’s arrival and them suddenly having three uncles now (who, Din had been horrified to learn, are in reality three storm troopers who have defected and will be shot if discovered.), yet the biggest change is the one he’s currently witnessing.

“Two? Are you sure I can’t get three for that price, Tahm?” Corin says to the shop-keeper’s daughter. He smiles, holds her gaze and even tilts his head a little. “Pretty please?”

The girl giggles and flushes.

Corin reaches out and slides a finger along her jawline and leans a little closer as he lowers his voice. “Pretty, pretty please?”

Din blinks. Corin is gorgeous. He’s always been a good looking kid, sure, Din isn’t blind and people have been talking, but over time Corin has gone from cute to gorgeous and… he’s clearly aware of it. There is nothing modest about the wink he gives that girl. Or the look he gives the young man who ends up selling them his wares to half of his original asking price.

“What was that?” Din asks as they load the bags up on the speeder bike.

“What was what?” Corin asks in return, fastening one bag.

“That.” Din insists. “Back there. The… that. The thing. You did.”

Corin snorts a laugh before glancing over at Din with a wicked grin. “Making them give me a discount? Leo taught me. It’s easy. You should do it too.”

Din feels his face heat up. “I don’t think I…”

Corin steps over, a little too close, and looks at him with bright, earnest eyes. “You could totally pull if off too, Din.” He touches Din’s jawline with light fingertips and the skin burns.

“I’m not…” Din swallows, his heart racing like crazy. “I’m not pretty. Like you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Corin laughs a little. “Din, you’re beautiful.” He leans in, gives Din a minor heart attack, and gently places his forehead to Din’s before turning back to the speeder bike again.

Din can barely breathe.

“I think that was everything?” Corin says. “Let’s go.” He gets on the bike, looks over at Din when he doesn’t move and raises his eyebrows. “Din?”

“Yeah…” Din croaks, forcing his legs to work. “Okay…” He gets on the bike too.

“No.” Zev snarls. “Go away.”

“Come on.” Leo whines, trailing after her. “One date. If you still hate me after, I will leave you alone. Pretty please?”

“I cannot think of a single thing that would change my mind about hating you, so I see no point.” Zev’sonya declares, chin held high and refusing to look at him.

“I could surprise you.” Leo tempts her. He coughs a couple of times before continuing. “One date, Zev. One!”

Zev’sonya wrinkles her nose. “You’re just going to give me your cold.”

Leo shakes his head. “I’m not-” Suddenly his gaze shifts over to something behind her and he frowns.

By the time she has turned around to see what he’s staring at, Leo is already running towards the three brats ganging up on Mose and trying to provoke him into a fight. By the time she’s caught up with him, Leo has already knocked one of the brats out.

The fight is over within minutes. Once Zev’sonya has made sure Mose is okay, hating how resigned he is to being hated and loving how Leo is huffing with offence on his behalf, she makes her choice.

“One date.” Zev’sonya says.

Leo spins around to face her, eyes huge and jaw dropping. “Really?! Wait, why? Wait, I don’t care.”

“One.” She underlines.

Leo nearly nods his head off and she has to hide the smile threatening to break free.

Din can’t forget about it. Can’t forget about watching Corin flaunting his good looks, the touch of his fingers and the kov’nyn… He can’t forget about it!

For years Corin has been his best friend. He felt so lucky to have him as his friend. He still does. But… it is getting harder and harder to be happy for Corin when others look at him the way Din does when Corin is not paying attention.

And after hearing Corin call ‘him’ beautiful, after having his full attention like that, Din can’t karking forget about it!

Din sits on Corin’s bed, thinking about this, when Corin enters the room again after he’d headed out to raid the kitchen for something to snack on. He returns victorious with a plate of cookies.

Sitting down on the bed as well, Corin places the plate between them and grins. “Mom said no, but then I gave her the eyes and she folded. I am a genius.”

“How… how do you do it?” Din asks, his pulse thrumming under his skin after daring to ask.

“As I said,” Corin inches closer so his knee almost touches Din’s, “it’s easy. All you have to do is keep eye contact.” He looks directly into Din’s soul with those incredible eyes of his. “Add a smile.” His lips curve into a smile that sends a frightful heat into Din’s blood. “And if you really need to bring in the big guns…” Corin reaches out and places his hand on Din’s knee. “...touch.”

Oh, Din swallows hard, struggles to find his voice. “I don’t think… it’ll work if I do that.”

“It definitely will.” Corin reassures him. “Your face? You will get whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” Din asks, his pulse thrumming in his throat.

“Definitely.”

“Okay…” Din gathers his courage. “Eye contact.” He moves a little closer, so their knees not only touch but cross each other a little. “Smile.” Din forces his mouth to shape into what he hopes is a careful but appealing smile. (He sees Corin’s gaze dart down to his lips for a second and it makes his hear jump.) “Touch…” Din reaches up and carefully cups the side of Corin’s face, runs his thumb along his cheekbone. “Like this?”

A slight flush creeps into Corin’s cheeks. “I, uh, yeah…”

Din is keenly aware of how he’s pushing his luck, but he can’t make himself stop. “Now what?”

Corin is staring at him. “It depends.”

“On what?”

“On what you want?” Corin almost whispers.

Din can’t say it, couldn’t say it to save his life, so he just looks at Corin’s lips with unspoken longing, hating himself for being such a coward. He just fears that if he gets a taste, he won’t survive seeing someone else kiss those lips…

“Okay.” Corin says, as if Din had spoken out loud, and before Din can ask him what he means; Corin leans in, tilts his head and gently touches his lips with his.

Din inhales sharply, startling Corin and causes him want to pull back, but Din’s hand flies up to grab his shoulder and hold him there. And then Din is the one to move closer to touch his lips to Corin’s.

It is such a sweet feeling. Soft, warm, cautious and fragile, and utterly perfect.

“I missed you so much…” Corin whispers, eyes closed and lips brushing his as he speaks.

Din’s throat snares up with a thousand feelings. “I missed you too. All the time.” They share another kiss before he can speak again. “Corin, I… I like you.”

That brings a soft laugh from Corin, startling Din a little into leaning back, but Corin merely grins at him. “I like you too, stupid. I kind of hoped we were past the obvious bit when we started kissing?”

Din’s face flushes hot. “I…”

“I kind of thought you did, was waiting for you to say something,” Corin says, shrugging one shoulder, “but then you left and I thought that meant you didn’t like me after all, but then you came back and… Well… “

“How did you know…?” Din mumbles, dying of embarrassment. He’d been so careful!

That makes Corin laugh again. “It was pretty obvious, Din. Come on.” He leans close again and smirks. “You’re always so nice to me. Not nice like with the others. Extra nice. And… you look at me a lot.”

Din’s face is about to melt off his skull. “I…”

Corin is dangerously close now. “You want to look some more or should we go back to kissing?”

Din stutters.

Laughing, Corin sits back up and grabs a cookie. “I’m sorry.” He munches on the cookie. “I’ll be good.”

Din’s heart is beating a thousand beats a second. He can’t stop staring. “You don’t have to.” He clears his throat. “Be good, that is. You can be… whatever you was just being. That’s… that’s fine.”

Corin lowers the cookie. “Yeah…?”

“I-if you want to.” Din adds cautiously.

Corin eagerly leans closer. “I really, really want to.”

Din grins, a little more confident. “Good.” He moves closer, both of them ignoring the plate tumbling to the floor, reaching up to touch Corin’s face. “Because I really want you to.”

Din is not a good kisser, he knows, it’s not something he has practised too much, but oh Corin is. Din follows his lead, moves his lips as softly and sweetly as he does, and can’t decide whether he’s grateful for Corin knowing how to do this or viciously hating every person who has kissed him. In the end, it doesn’t matter, Din is just weak with happiness.

“Obvious? What do mean it was obvious?” Din snaps, not expecting this kind of nonchalance from Paz when he confessed that he and Corin have become… a thing.

Paz shrugs, adjusting the wrapping around his left hand. “It just was. Everyone could see it.”

“Everyone?” Din asks with utter disbelief.

“Yup.” Raga confirms, delivering some hard hits that has the punching bag make a sound like it is groaning with pain. “Everyone.”

Din sinks down to sit on a crate, stunned by shock and horrible embarrassment. “But you never said anything?”

“I wanted to.” Paz says. “Believe me.”

“But Dulcy told him not to.” Raga throws a vicious punch. “I think she and Davarax have a bet going on which of you would make the first move.”

Din hides his face in his hands and groans.

Zev’sonya cannot believe she’s agreed to this. It was a moment of madness, that’s all. She got carried away after punching those jerks who bullied Mose and that blond idiot just happened to be there with his stupid date request.

What was she thinking?

Zev’sonya sighs as she looks at herself in the mirror. She’s clean, the clothes she’s wearing are whole, all the daggers and blades are hidden, that is good enough, isn’t it? Or do humans have other standards for this… dating thing?

She sees Mose’s reflection as he is standing behind her and scowls at the grin on his face.

“Don’t.” Zev’sonya warns, but his grin only widens so she flees before he can say anything.

Leo had wanted to come and pick her up, but she refused and insisted on her meeting him by his house. Bad enough Mose knows, but if Din and the others learns of this… ‘date’, there would be no end to the comments.

Approaching the house, Zev’sonya is surprised to see Leo sitting on the stairs leading up to it. But the surprise morphs into unease as she feels an intense wave of… sadness wash over her. No, he’s not just sad. It’s more. Deeper. More painful. Zev’sonya pauses in front of him, he doesn’t even notice her presence, and braces herself. “Leo?”

Starting a little, he looks up and when seeing her; he tries to smile. “Hey.” The boy is pale, there are dark smudges under his eyes and he looks miserable under his facade. “I, uh, I’m sorry, Zev. I know I hassled you for this date, but, uh… I don’t think I can go.”

Frowning, Zev’sonya crosses her arms. “What happened?”

Leo’s smile wavers. He swallows a couple of times before he can speak. “It’s, uh, it’s my dad, he…” Another swallow. “He died.”

That’s what she’s feeling from him. Grief. Zev’sonya exhales, forgetting about being angry and defensive and she merely moves to sit down next to him. “I’m… I’m sorry, Leo.”

He nods, turns to stare at the ground again. “We knew it was a long shot. They said it couldn’t be cured.” He carefully wipes at his left eye. “At least you won’t have to go out with me now.”

Zev’sonya plucks at the fabric on the knee of her pants. “I can wait.”

Leo shakes his head. “No.” He wipes at his other eye. “I, uh… It’s better if we don’t. There’s no point.” He clears his throat. “Don’t worry. It’s not contagious. I got it from working the mines with him.”

Startled, Zev’sonya looks over at Leo. “You’re sick too?”

Now Leo nods.

Fear and horrible resignation, both seep from him and into her. He will die choking and gasping for air, thrashing, terrified, like his father.

Zev’sonya reaches out and places her hand on his neck, and after a second of surprised hesitation; Leo shudders once before he breaks into helpless tears. She eases him over and wraps her arms around him, her eyes narrowing with determination.

He’s not going to die.

Davarax is biting his lip as he watches Nemi wobble along the table with a firm grip on it with her tiny hands and a look of thoughtful concentration on her adorable face. He is so proud, watching her progress, that he could die. His heart is not designed to handle this kind of emotion. He’s too happy.

“I need to talk to you.” Zev’sonya stalks into the room.

Nemi blinks, lets go and drops down on her behind to stare wide-eyed at the twi’lek.

Davarax stares at Zev too. She wants to talk to him? Why? Is she going to try to kill him again? She hasn’t done that in a long time. He thought they were making progress when she smiled at him after Mose moved in. What has changed? Why is she angry with him now? “Uh… Okay?”

After she’s done explaining, Davarax almost wishes she had tried to kill him instead. It would have been easier to handle than failing her meek request and having to watch her have her heart broken when the boy dies. “I… I’ll ask around.”

Zev’sonya brightens with hope and that terrifies Davarax.

“Zev.” He stops her from leaving. “I can’t promise anything, okay? I will try, but it sounds like they’ve been looking pretty hard for a cure already.”

Her dark eyes flicker before she focuses on Davarax again and she shrugs. “You got a good track record of saving kids. If anyone can save him, it’s you.”

Davarax stands there, staring, long after she’s gone.

At first Dulsissia is heartbroken when she learns that Leo is sick. That sweet, cheerful boy seemed like someone who would live forever. Hearing that he’d watched his own father die in such a terrible way makes her hug him for so long he gets a little worried.

Davarax sends out a message to every contact he’s ever made in his years as a bounty hunter and mercenary, but one by one they come back negative.

It’s ironic that the one sliver of hope they get is from one direction they did not expect.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” Dee says. “They call it Miner’s Lung.”

“Is there a cure for it?” Davarax asks, trying not to get his own hopes up.

Drop makes a face. “Depends on how advanced it is. Once it catches proper hold, when it gets in the blood, it’s basically impossible to weed it out.”

“Tell us where to go.” Dulsissia says. “We have to try.”

On board the Razor Crest, Dulsissia doesn’t know what makes her smile the most; Zev’sonya’s expression of utter disgust but not doing anything to stop Leo from holding her hand, or how at the very back of the ship; Din tries to hide how sneakily he reaches out for Corin’s hand.

The doctor refuses to see them until he hears ‘Motti’. Dulsissia has absolutely no qualms about using her name to wring the arm of this horrible man to help Leo. No baby will be dying as long as there is something Dulsissia can do about it.

A complete medical scan, some tests run and a lot of frowning later, the doctor hands them a datapad with a treatment schedule that will last for about eighteen standard months and drugs that would knock out a fully grown Sarlacc. “This should work, but I can give no guarantees. It’s not like that boy has grown up on the most nutritious diet. His immune system is as poor as his family clearly was.”

Dulsissia takes the datapad, hands it over to Davarax, so she can step close to the doctor. “If it fails, then I know who to hunt down. You should know, sir, we Mandalorians are very protective of our children. We take the loss of one very hard and will take our anger out on whomever is responsible for their death.”

The doctor goes pale. “If he’s not showing any signs of improvement in two months, you better come back so we can make some adjustments to his medication.”

Dulsissia gives him a sweet smile. “Lovely. Thank you.”

Davarax looks at her like he wants to propose all over again.

When they walk back to the Razor Crest, Dulsissia is eager to hold her daughter again but also can’t help but to adore the sight of the group of teenagers ambling in front of her and Davarax. It feels like only yesterday they were mere youngsters and now they are snapping at the heels of adulthood.

Corin has his arm around Leo’s neck, laughing and tugging him into a mix of a hug and a headlock, while Din and Zev’sonya walk behind them and give identical shake of heads at the boisterous duo.

Paz is standing by the ramp to the Razor Crest, his back towards them, and Dulsissia wonders what he’s doing until she sees the hands sliding up to cup the back of his neck and she knows.

“For the love of…” Davarax mutters. “They will get brain damage from lack of oxygen soon.”

Dulsissia giggles.

“Hey.” Davarax snaps, making Paz and Raga flinch apart. “Don’t make me hose you two with cold water.”

Raga rolls her eyes. Paz clears his throat and glances over at Leo. “How did it go?”

“We got a plan and hopefully a cure.” Davarax replies.

“Nice.” Raga replies, punching Leo in the arm and laughs at his yelp. “The clan keeps growing.”

“Let’s go home.” Dulsissia says, entering the ship and heading over to where Mose is curled up with the sleeping Nemi in his arms. She has to smile at that sight as well. It’s just too cute.

The little girl has everyone wrapped up around her little finger, but Mose maybe most of all. Who would have thought a Hutt could be such a softie?

“Everything okay?” Dulsissia asks, running a gentle hand over Nemi’s hair.

“She’s good.” Mose confirms in an affectionate tone. “Fell asleep ten minutes ago.”

The ride home is blissfully incident-free, which is why it is no big surprise the shock comes the day after they return home.

Dulsissia opens the door and blinks at the sight that meets her.

Dez Vizla is standing there.

“I, uh…” Dulsissia is suddenly awkwardly aware of standing there in Mandalorian armor, helmet off, and looking like the fraud she is. Luckily Davarax appears in the hallway, carrying their daughter, and he walks over to hover behind her.

“Dez. What are you doing here?”

Dez’ t-visor shifts up from the little girl on Davarax’ arm to his face. “You had a child?”

“Yes.” Dulsissia replies cautiously, placing a protective hand on the curious Nemi’s back.

“Mom! Dad!” Corin shouts, stepping into the hallway with Din and Leo in tow. “We’re heading over to Dee, Drop and Pat. We’ll be back for dinner.”

“Fine.” Davarax shouts back.

Dez watches the three and tilts his head a little, a bit puzzled. “More Foundlings, I see.”

Then Zev’sonya steps into the hallway to head into the kitchen and Dez says; “A Twi’lek?”

“Well…” Davarax manages to say, before Dez flinches and places his hand on his blaster, and Dulsissia deducts that Mose has appeared behind them. “It kind of just happened.”

Dulsissia keeps a wary eye on Dez’ hand on that blaster. “Please don’t draw that blaster. Mose is a part of the family.” She knows she has absolutely no chance of overpowering Dez Vizla, but she will not let him just threaten her family.

Dez rumbles before he reluctantly takes his hand off his weapon. He seems a little overwhelmed. “I just… I want to see my son.”

Davarax nods then points.

Dez turns his helmet and looks.

Walking towards them, oblivious to the visitor, Paz and Raga are entirely lost in each other. Paz has his arm around her shoulders, she has her arm around his waist, and instead of looking where they’re going, they are staring at each other, making grinning comments and exchanging kisses.

Dulsissia hears Dez exhale and in that moment, she realizes that while the man might be cold (He hasn’t seen Paz for years and he hasn’t sent a word, not since they left) and that he can be cruel at times, he’s not entirely without a heart. At least not when it comes to his son.

Seconds after that, Paz and Raga both discover Dez’ presence and they come to a sudden halt not too far away. Both of them look extremely worried at the sight of Paz’ father.

“Paz.” Dez greets his son.

Paz gingerly removes his arm from around Raga, but she follows when he walks over to his father. “Father. What… What are you doing here?”

“I came to see my son.” Dez replies, reaching out to grab Paz’ shoulders, looking him up and down before snorting a laugh. “And what a sight!”

Paz manages a faint smile. He’s taller than his father now and working on becoming as muscular as him.

Seeing the unease in the boy’s eyes makes Dulsissia frown and she looks up at Davarax, but he simply looks every bit as nervous as Paz. Clearly the awe-inspired fear that everyone in the Covert had towards Dez and most Vizlas didn’t just apply below ground.

“And little Raga Saxon.” Dez drawls, turning his attention to the one next to his son. “Not so little anymore. Quite the warrior. Your mama said you were doing well. I’m pleased to see she’s right.”

Raga dares a careful smile and nods.

“Vizlas and Saxons, it would be a powerful clan union.” Dez points out, now sounding smug.

Paz clears his throat. “We… we took our helmets off, father. I don’t think they care what two outcasts are doing.”

“Don’t underestimate the influence your father has.” Dez gives Paz a couple of semi-harsh pets to the cheek. “As far as they know, you removing your helmet is just a rumour.”

Paz frowns, looks down. “I’m not going to lie and pretend I didn’t take it off. I’m not a liar.”

Dez lowers his hand and his t-visor stares at his son in silence for several long seconds. “I see…”

An awkward tension follows and eventually Dulsissia steps forward, trying to put on her pleasant face that she used whenever rival families had to meet during the social events on Seswenna. “Let’s all go inside, shall we?”

Luckily her trick works.

Paz’ reply seems to have knocked Dez off balance a bit and he spends the next couple of hours talking to Davarax, just glancing over at his son as if he doesn’t quite know how to approach him again. “I have to admit,” Dez says, having turned ignoring Dulsissia into an art form, “I did not expect to find you like this, Davarax. I didn’t think you’d last long without the Covert. Without her.”

“How is she?” Davarax asks, careful hope in his eyes for news about his sister.

Dez shrugs. “Like she always is.”

Davarax smiles a little and Dulsissia feels guilt wrapping around her heart. If not for her, Macero would not have sent the mercenary after Davarax, his helmet would have stayed on and he wouldn’t have had to leave the Covert. Davarax being here is her fault. She wonders if he regrets saving her that day when they’d met for the very first time.

No, he wouldn’t regret something like that. But maybe he regrets bringing them to the Covert? Maybe he regrets letting her into his room that night?

When it is time for dinner and the others return to the house, Dez declares it is time for him to head back to the Covert. He says so with a final look over at his son, but Paz tenses up and stares at the floor, which leads to him merely offering Paz a formal goodbye and stalking out of house, ignoring the other children gawking at him.

Dulsissia walks over to Paz, touches his arm and gets his attention. “You okay?” He nods, but it’s not really convincing.

Din appears on Paz’ other side, shoves Raga away, and punches him in the shoulder. When that gets him an angry glare, Din speaks. “He’s a douche. This is your home now. Trust me, leaving will only make you realize that. We’re your family too.”

That actually makes Paz smile and to Dulsissia’s delight, he pulls Din into a hug. It’s so sweet. It’s adorable. It’s… She sighs when she sees Paz’ biceps starting to bulge and Din squawks angrily before he starts trying to battle his way to freedom before he’s squeezed flat.

“I’m hungry.” Barthor whines.

“Let’s go eat.” Dulsissia declares.

That night, Dulsissia struggles to find sleep. All of her babies are in bed, safely tucked in, her husband is drowsing next to her, all is well, and yet there is an unease in her chest. She turns to look at Davarax. “Dav.”

“Mmh?”

“Are you awake?”

Davarax opens one eye to look at her. “If I say no, will you go to sleep?”

Dulsissia grins.

Sighing, Davarax turns on his side, fluffs his pillow and settles to look at her. “What’s on your mind?”

She reaches out and fidgets with the collar of his shirt. “Do you regret it?”

That brings a confused frown to his face. “Regret what?”

“Bringing us to the Covert.” Dulsissia rests her hand to his chest. “You lost everything because of that one decision.”

“I didn’t lose anything.” Davarax counters, reaching out and tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I gained a family. You, the kids, that scary twi’lek, a genuine Hutt and even our three bothersome neighbours, I wouldn’t trade this for the Dark Saber.” He leans over and gives her a soft kiss. “Without you, I’m scared to think where I’d be today.”

Dulsissia’s eyes well up with emotional tears as usual. “My life was horrible before I met you, I know it would be horrible today without you.”

“No regrets?” Davarax asks with a faint smile.

“No regrets.” Dulsissia confirms, burrowing close to him and savours the sensation of his arms going around her.

“Dav?”

“Yes, Dulcy?”

“Will you help me take the Creed?”

“Yes, cyare. It would be my honour.”

The unease in her chest is suddenly nowhere to be found and holding on to each other, they both slip into a peaceful sleep.

The End...?

#the mandalorian his son and the storm trooper #What if #Dulsissia Motti #Davarax #Teenager Corin #Fearsome Four #Mandorin AU

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iconic12 · 3 years ago

Text

Tough Love - Asahi

Any music is fine <3

Pairing: producer!Asahi x internproducer! gn reader

Warnings: insecurities, shouting(?), anxiety (?), a mention of crying

Genre: Angst, Fluff (at the end)

Author’s Note: Hi! This is pure fiction! I just got any song for the story, so you’ll be seeing some random titles every now and then. I’m not a producer so there may be some inaccuracies. Anyway! Hope you enjoy this fic!! Keep reading under the cut! <33

The day is done, and the night is coming. I’ve been working hard for the past 12 hours at the studio for the upcoming evaluations. I’m here, working as an intern at YG Entertainment. Hoping to find a place here to make a career out of. My other friends are in the other rooms also working their heads off. Our assignment is to make a song, and it has to be perfect. This is our first evaluation. If I fail this, the judges will get the wrong impression of me.

Someone knocks on the door. “Y/N!! OPEN THE DOOR I NEED HELP!” “Yes Bora, what do you need?” I answered. “I can’t think of any lyrics!”, “well that happens sometimes, I don’t know what to do either. I mean, I have the melody down, but I can’t think of anything to write about.” “We are both going to fail, aren’t we” “HEY! Don’t say that. We got in for a reason. So, all we have to do is work our hardest.”, “You’re right, thanks. I’ll write about that!”. “Wait what?” Before she could hear me, she closed the door and ran to her studio. ‘Hmmm, everyone seems to be getting things right nowadays…. Can’t say the same for myself” I thought. Just go to keep on working I guess....

The next day..

Evaluation day. The most dreaded day of every intern and trainee. Everyone is panicking and it’s scaring me even more. “Interns, please come inside the practice room” Okay, it’s time. I have to be confident, or else I’ll be an easy target. “Hey, are you scared?” Bora asked. “Of course I am, these are professionals who are going to be judging us.” “You can do this bff, don’t be too scared.” “Thanks!” We sat down on the benches, and waited for the mentors to come in. A few minutes later, the door clicks and reveals our three mentors and two guests. “Omg they are the treasure members” “It’s Asahi and Choi Hyunsuk sunbae” “Omg they’re legends” as the amount of murmurs grew, our head mentor spoke up. “For our evaluations from now on, we’ll be having guest mentors, Asahi and Hyunsuk of Treasure, joining us. Please give them a hand.” After the applause ends, he speaks again. “Okay, let’s start the evaluations. Beware that we have the camera to record your progress. Thank you” As they go through all of our names, the more I get nervous. I’m panicking, help.. I can’t do this. As I was thinking to myself, I was cut off.

“L/N Y/N '' Okay it’s time. I stood up and went to the front. “Hello, I’m L/N Y/N.” “What’s the title of your song?” “It’s called BBIBBI (original by IU).” “What’s it about?” “It’s about the toxic society we live in and the standards put up by the media for artists” “Okay, let’s hear it” I clicked the play button. They all have blank faces, what are they thinking? Do they hate it? As a train of thoughts kept on running, I didn’t realize that the song ended until one of the mentors spoke up. “Okay, what do you think of the song?” he asks the panel of mentors. “It was enjoyable and the vibe was nice,” says the head mentor. “Thank you” As each of the judges give their comments, Asahi speaks up, “I didn’t really enjoy it, it’s not exactly my type and it was kind of a typical topic to write about” he says blatantly. Ouch, that hurt. Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing, the mentors must think I’m stupid or something. After an awkward silence, someone speaks up, “Okay thank you, next”

“Okay, thank you for attending. Results and rankings will be up in three days. Thank you.” As everyone starts to leave the room, Bora stands up and pulls me with her. “Come on, it’s not that bad.” “It's horrible Bora, I was completely embarrassed over there. I was put on spotlight and was given the worst comment a producer could get. TIMES 3! I just want to bury myself in a hole and disappear. You didn’t even see the way others were looking at me. They were looking at me with pity, PITY!” “Hey, don’t say bad things about yourself. Just move on and let’s keep on working harder.”

Three days pass and I rank at the bottom. God this hurts.

Months later…..

Months pass by, month after month, after month. Nothing but criticism. From him.

I feel like I’m not going anywhere. It’s starting to get to me. Am I not good enough? Am I really as bad as he says I am? This is killing me. There is another evaluation coming. I really want to disappear right now. I can’t do this. They don’t know the amount of times I had a breakdown in my studio. It hurts too much to still be here. Just one last evaluation. One more, if it goes wrong, that’s the last straw for me. I just have to give it everything, I guess.

This is my last song. This is it. Hopefully this will work.

Evaluations are on going. My name is called. “L/N Y/N” “Okay, what’s the title of your song and what is it about?” “The title is How You Like That and it’s about saying goodbye to a toxic and painful past, and leaving those who hurt you behind.” (this is just a version to match the story!) “Okay, play it for us then.”

I waited as their eyes were judging me, shaking their heads every now and then. Great, they hate it. As the song ends, they say, “Thank you, next”

To cool off some pressure, I went to a café to get a drink. As I sat down after ordering, someone approached me. I look up and I see a middle-aged man. He hands me a card and says, “Hello, I am Kim Myeong Jun and I’m the head of Music Production at SM Entertainment.” “Oh, hello! May I help you?” “I heard that you are an intern producer at YG. We heard a snippet of your work and we would like to offer you a position at our company as a producer, not an intern.” “Wow, that’s great…” “You don’t have to decide right now, we can give you a week to think about it. Hope you could consider our offer.” he smiles and says. “Thank you so much, I’ll think about this and I’ll call you about my decision.” I smile back. As he stands up and leaves, I think to myself, ‘This is great. Should I take it?’

After much thought, I decided to take it. It hurts too much to still be in a company that doesn’t appreciate my work.

The next morning, I walk to the office and ask for a resignation form. Although, I don’t understand why the woman at the desk looks at me with shock. Did something happen? Anyways, I have a day to move out and submit this. I have to hurry up. While walking in the hallway, I accidentally bump into somebody. “I’m so sorry!” I look up and I see him, Asahi… “Oh, hello sunbae.” He greets back and all of a sudden asks, “What’s that in your hand?”, “Oh, this is a resignation form.” “You are leaving the program?” he asks. “Yeah, I got a better deal somewhere else, so I have to resign. I’m sorry but I don’t have that much time. I’ll see you around.” I bow and turn around to leave. “Why are you leaving?!” he shouts. I huff and turn around. “It’s because of the treatment I get here. I get treated like trash and I get nothing but degrading comments from you and the other mentors.” “It’s for your own good!” “No it's not!! You aren’t teaching me anything but to feel bad about myself! You hate me just admit it!” “Hey! Nobody said I hated you” “Then why do you treat me that way? Huh? What did I ever do to you?!” I said. “You are a good producer. That’s what you are. Okay? You are good and I’m teaching you the way I was taught. With pressure. I don’t hate you. Your last song was very good, the best we’ve heard in months from any intern. But it was your choice to leave and quit.” he says. And he walks away. Leaving me in shock.

A few months later…

I’ve been doing great here. I really enjoy being here and making a contribution to artists’ music. I still keep in touch with Bora and everyone else and it sounds like it’s going great over there. I just feel kind of bad with how I left things with Asahi. I was so disrespectful. I still think about it every now and then. I wish I could apologize, but I can’t do anything about it.

Mr. Kim comes into the room and says, “Okay! We are having a collaboration with YG Entertainment so here is the list of people joining us for tomorrow’s meeting.” YG?! Oh my god. I take a look at the list, and I see my name. Of course it’s there, I think. “Hey Y/n, didn’t you work there before?” Yoojin, another producer, asks me. “Yeah, but I was only an intern.” “Oh, interesting. You’ll be having a blast from the past I guess!” “Yeah, I guess.”

The next day...

Wow. It feels different to be here again. I got out of the van and followed Mr. Kim into the building. They really upgraded their system, I thought. We are led to a room and I greet everyone. “We are just waiting for some people if you don’t mind waiting.” someone says and we just nod. “Hello, sorry for being late.” I look at who says that and I see someone who I never thought I would see again. Asahi and his members. Great. The universe is really not on my side, is it.

After the meeting, someone walks up to me. I look at who it is, and I see Asahi. “Hi. It’s been a while.” he says. “Oh hi, yeah. It has been a while.” A silence washes over, and I say, “Um, I just wanted to apologize for how I acted, you know, last time we met…” “No, it’s my fault. I was the one who was too harsh on you. I apologize.” “Oh, it’s alright. So, does this mean we’re okay?” “Yeah, we’re good,” he says and smiles. “Would you like to help me out with something?” he asks. “Sure, why not?” I said and smiled as he led me to a studio. ‘He’s not as bad as I thought he was,’ I think to myself.

What they didn’t know about those bad experiences was that it was the start to a blooming friendship.

The End

#treasure #treasure imagines #treasure asahi #asahi #asahi x y/n #asahi imagine

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bisexualkiecarrera · 4 years ago

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4 times JJ complimented you + 1 time you complimented him

JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

wordcount: 3.5k+

warnings: just drinking, smoking and cursing!

Hanging out in a group of only hot guys and your best friend Kie wasn’t always easy. You loved your friends dearly and normally, any day spent with them was a good one. There were just some days that you just couldn’t bring yourself to have fun when all you could think about was how you looked in your bathing suit.

You’d explained it to Kiara during a sleepover once when she asked why you hadn’t come in the water that day, opting to stay on the boat in your baggy t-shirt. She didn’t really understand but she tried her best to be helpful whenever she saw you get in your own head after that. John B and Pope were either absolutely oblivious or smart enough to know not to push the subject when you answered their concerned questions with “I’m just a little tired, don’t worry about it.” JJ knew without you ever muttering a word, familiar with the feeling of being uncomfortable showing people your body, even if it was for a completely different reason.

The day in question was the hottest day of the year so far, and even though you were sitting in the smallest bit of shade the HMS Pogue’s tiny driving console provided, you felt a line of sweat drip down your spine.

“Babe, come in! Seriously, it’s way too hot for you to not be in the water!” Kiara called as she swam up to the side of the boat, head barely resting on its edge. Your eyes skittered over to the boys, treading water several yards away, but the only one who seemed to be listening to your conversation was JJ. He gave a small encouraging smile before turning back to the two boys splashing each other like children.

You bit at your lip for a second, mulling over your decision before realizing it really was too hot to stay dry. You mumbled out a “fine” as you went to slip your arms out of your sleeves, “but go back to the boys and I’ll meet you over there.” Kiara gave you a wide smile before pushing off the boat, swimming gracefully back towards the group.

You shed your shirt quickly and got in the water, trying your hardest to make as small of a splash as possible. You sink your head under the water, wetting your hair as you make your way towards your friends. You take a look at Pope now floating peacefully on his back and make eye contact with a smiling John B. “Hey, little minnow. Nice of you to join us.” You roll your eyes fondly at the nickname, leftover from when you were kids. Back before you the world taught you to be self conscious, it was nearly impossible to get you out of the water and back into regular summer clothes, and so your fishy nickname was born.

You wink at JB before swimming quietly towards Pope, who still had his eyes closed as he faced the sky. You get close before stilling for a second, letting the waves settle around you. You lean in towards his ear and let out a “boo!,” sending the boy flailing. The three others laugh off to the side as you and Pope begin a splash fight. Not long after, JB can’t help but join in, followed by Kie. You take this as an opportunity to wade over to JJ, who’s looking at you with pride mixed with something you can’t quite place. “What’s the look for, J?” He takes a second to look over your face again, brow furrowed slightly in confusion.

He shrugs a little as he answers, meeting your eyes. “You just look really pretty like this, all happy and back in the water.” You feel heat unrelated to the temperature cover your face as your eyes dart back to your friends, Kie now hanging on Pope’s back.

“You’re just glad there’s finally someone who can beat JB in a race in the water.”

A movie night at the Chateau just isn’t complete without an all-out pig fest, food scattered on every counter and table. Kie is generous enough to supply you all with enough fries from The Wreck to last a lifetime, and Pope brings along some ice cream, but always the cheap kind that his dad is willing to part with. John B mans the grill, making you all hot dogs and cheeseburgers while JJ provides the bud and whatever beer he can steal out of his fridge or convince his cousin to buy for him. Over the years, he’s also claimed the spot as your assistant, hovering over your shoulder as you move around the Chateau’s already cramped kitchen making brownies.

It’s been years that you’ve been making what you call “kitchen sink” brownies for you and JJ and JB. They appear at every birthday and holiday and whenever someone is especially sad. They’re really just boxed brownies with whatever snacks you can find thrown into the batter, but JJ loves to be the one who gets to crunch up the toppings and sprinkle them, and you figure that the world owes JJ Maybank every second of happiness he can find. Tonight, the search through your kitchen at home proved especially successful, coming away with not only chips and pretzels, but also mini oreos and a pack of m&ms.

JJ walks around the counter to see your finds spread out on the counter and his jaw drops. Your giggle tears his eyes away from the assortment and he raises one eyebrow in question. “You’re sure your parents are cool with you taking all this stuff?” The question makes you laugh, and you lean in like you’re about to tell JJ a secret.

“If I’m gonna be honest,” you drop your voice to an almost-whisper, “I think my mom bought extra snacks this week just for this.” A small smile appears on his face, and if you hadn’t known him for so long, you would have no clue that there was a little sadness behind it, thinking of his own parental situation in comparison to yours. “C’mon, J. Batter’s done, pan is greased. All I need is your supreme topping skills.”

What seems like forever, but in reality is only 30 minutes, passes by before you slip back into the kitchen to take your brownies out of the oven. The raggedy oven mitt JB leaves on the counter for you is barely hanging on by a thread so you grab the extra cleaning rag to wrap around your covered hand for protection. The second the pan touches the oven, JJ is there behind you, looking over your shoulder. You turn to him, eyebrows raised in scolding as his hands fall to your hips. You place your hands on the plane of his chest and push gently backwards, shaking your head. “I’ll put a five minute timer on. Go sit, you know they’re too hot right now.” He allows you to guide him back to the couch before you pull out your phone and set the alarm, pulling you to settle into his side.

The timer goes off and JJ jumps so quickly it genuinely startles you. You all share a chuckle at how fast his feet moved, and in no time at all, he’s back next to you, a brownie on a paper towel in each hand. He extends one out to you and you gladly take it. “Hey, man, thanks for getting me one too, really thoughtful of you,” John B says as he makes his way to the kitchen to cut one for himself and Kie and Pope. JJ’s mouth is already full of brownie and there’s a smug smile on his face as he swallows. He shouts a “yeah, of course, buddy!,” after your friend’s retreating figure before turning to you.

“You know these brownies are ring-worthy, right? Like, SO fucking good I’m considering proposing right now.”

You giggle at the statement as crumbs fall from his lip. Your only answer is “JJ, you know you did half the fucking work, right?” He laughs at your response and wiggles his eyebrows.

“Guess that makes us both wifey material!”

By far, your least favorite part of your friendship with JJ is tending to his various cuts, bumps and bruises. Between JJ’s general recklessness, his ongoing beef with Rafe Cameron, and Luke Maybank himself, it felt as though you spent every other day standing between his knees as he sat on your bathroom counter. This time, a particularly heated run in with the kooks had thankfully left JJ with nothing but a busted lip, bloody knuckles and an adrenaline high. His mouth was running a mile a minute, recounting every step of the fight despite the fact that you’d witnessed it all first hand.

“Did you see the look on Rafe’s face when he hit the ground? Absolutely unreal!” You let out a frustrated huff as he waved his hands wildly, not noticing your own hand outstretched to grab his.

“Yeah, J, I saw but please give me your hands. I need to put antiseptic on.” Your voice is a little pleading and he quiets at your request, laying his wrist in your hand and watching your face as you get to work. You dab at the cuts with a soaked cotton ball, and it doesn’t escape either of you that JJ no longer flinches at the sting. Once you’ve moved on to the other hand, his stare intensifies as you carefully move his rings around to make sure there’s no hidden nicks underneath them. When it’s time for you to move onto his face, he places his hands gently in his lap and lets you inspect his face closely, turning it from side to side with a finger at his chin. Your demeanor lightens a little when you’ve decided the damage is as minimal as possible. “Really glad you managed to keep Rafe away from the money maker this time. Well, mostly.” You punctuate your point by pressing the cotton to the tear in his lip and the pressure makes him hiss. You pull your hand away and grab the vaseline, smearing a small amount over the cut as gently as possible. “You really should ice that, J. Keep the swelling to a minimum.”

You realize a little belatedly that he hasn’t taken his eyes off your face the entire time you’ve been working and your eyes raise to meet his. The look in his eyes is a little confusing and a little startling, and his voice is gentle when he says “Thank you for patching me up. You always take the best care of me.”

You let out a deep sigh before patting his leg gently and moving towards the door. “I think I could find work as a school nurse with all this experience you’ve given me.”

A boneyard party used to be your absolute favorite way to blow off steam on a Friday night. The sand, music, booze and weed were the easiest way to melt away the stress of a long week, but lately, the stress of seeing your best friend sneak off with some random had you absolutely dreading stepping foot on the beach. Most of the time, you had a pretty easy time keeping your less than platonic feelings for JJ at bay. You always rationalized swallowing your emotions down by telling yourself that you both needed each other as a friend way too much to jeopardize that. It was getting harder and harder to listen to your own advice lately, and partly because you weren’t quite sure what he was feeling. He’d been especially affectionate lately, not giving second thought to curling his body around yours on cold nights around the fire. His compliments had become less silly and teasing, and sometimes when he looked at you, it felt like he was staring straight into your soul.

Tonight, you’d allowed Kie to pick you out an outfit from your closet, not wanting to spend time debating with yourself and getting yourself stressed. She’d picked out a pair of high waisted denim shorts and a cropped white t shirt, topped with a yellow scarf to tie around your ponytail. It was simple enough that she knew you’d be comfortable but cute enough that you’d feel confident.

Secretly, she’d also seen the way JJ eyes had dragged slowly over your figure when you’d worn those shorts the week prior. Neither of you had spoken to her, or Pope or JB, about your feelings for the other, but they as a group had all witnessed the gentle way you handled each other and had their suspicions that one of you would break soon. She’d driven you to the boneyard, promising to stay sober enough to relocate you all back to the Chateau at the end of the night. She pulled your hand along, heading straight to where she knew your friends would be congregating, just behind the keg. JB and Pope each had a full cup in hand when you approached and JJ had a joint hanging from the side of his mouth. “Gentlemen, let’s get it going,” Kie startled the boys, a giant smile across her face.

A few hours into the party and a considerable amount of beer later, the realization hit you that JJ hadn’t wandered off to find someone to mack on yet. He’d even turned down the touron who approached him first, despite her tiny skirt and flawless makeup. It had to be some sort of record for him, usually his presence at these parties was fleeting. You thought back to just the week before when you’d watched him lead a beautiful curly-haired girl back to the Twinkie. You’d felt nauseous watching them flirt, his legs parted as he sat on a low hanging branch with her settled between them. Her hands rested on his chest as she stared up at him from under her eyelashes and you had to rip your gaze from the pair when he slid from his perch and wrapped her hand in his. You kept your eyes on the ground as they passed, but like a train wreck you couldn’t help but watch, you were unable to stop yourself from throwing a last glance in their direction as they approached the van. He’d turned to look at her with a sly smile on his face and must have caught your eye over her shoulder. His smile dropped quickly and something looking like an apology crossed his face for a second but when you looked away again, focusing on holding the burning tears in your eyes back, he recovered and smiled back at the girl, pulling her into the spacious backseat.

Even just the memory had you tense, and JJ felt the uneasiness radiate off of you from his position by your side. He called your name gently so as to not call attention to the two of you and you turned your head quickly, blinking away your thoughts. Your eyes focused on the concerned look on his face. “You alright? Did someone upset you?” JJ’s eyes were already scanning the crowd for who could have possibly upset you and it pulled a small smile to your face.

“No, J, I’m alright, just thinking. All good now.” His face turned back to you, a small pout gracing his lips. He asks if you’re sure and when you nod in agreement, he turns his attention back to your friends. The two of you watch Pope and John B argue about if Gatorade was actually better for you than regular water or not for a few minutes before you turn back to JJ. “Hey, JJ?” Your voice is small and it surprises the boy beside you to hear you so timid. When his attention is turned on you completely, you start your question. “Is there a reason you turned down that girl before? She was like, stupidly pretty.” You’re finding it a little hard to meet JJ’s eyes as you ask, so you fiddle with the strings on your bracelet instead.

A small chuckle leaves his lips before he replies with “I got the prettiest girl at the party standing next to me already. Why would I leave?” Your eyes meet his and there’s no humor anywhere on his face and you can feel yourself get hot under his gaze. You’re left speechless for a second before the sound of Kie’s voice pulls you from the moment. You clear your throat and turn back to your friends, mumbling under your breath. JJ replies with a “hmm?” and you repeat yourself a little louder this time, so he can just hear you.

“Kiss ass.”

Somehow, Kiara had managed to convince her parents to allow you to come to Midsummers as her guest and by an even greater miracle, you’d managed to save enough babysitting money to buy yourself an appropriately fancy dress, floor length and blue with pretty flowers embroidered on it. You arrive at the Carreras’ house early in the afternoon to begin getting ready, helping Kie put her hair up with some flowers pinned in. You chose to keep yours mostly down and let your best friend weave some braids in, tiny beads sprinkled down the length of them. Neither of you put on very much makeup, but it was still more than you’d worn in recent memory, and it felt nice to look in the mirror and actually feel pretty and put together. Kie comes up behind you as you look in the full length mirror and wraps her arms around your waist, chin resting gently on your shoulder. “We look fucking good, don’t we?” She giggles and scrunches her nose up as you meet her eyes in the mirror.

You nod emphatically before turning to face her, a wide smile on your face. “Hell yeah, we do, baby! The lady pogues know how to clean up good!” Your response makes her laugh, head thrown back, and it makes you wish all your friends would be in attendance, despite how much you love girl time with just you and Kie.

Your dreams of being able to spend the night with all of your friends almost came true, spotting John B on Sarah’s arm from across the room upon your arrival. The night became even sweeter when you saw Pope standing next to his father, but even as the five of you stood together at the edge of the party, people watching and laughing, you couldn’t shake the feeling that JJ was the piece you were missing most. Kiara and Sarah left to make their way to the restroom and Pope was pulled away to help his dad, leaving you and JB standing in the corner. “You should go see him, you know. Skip out early, I’m sure Kie wouldn’t mind.” You turn to look at your friend, confused at his sudden idea. You had a feeling you knew exactly what he was saying, but you waited for clarification, fiddling with the glass in your hand. “JJ is at the Chateau and before I left, he seemed pretty upset that he wouldn’t get to see you in your dress.”

He holds out the key to the twinkie and your jaw drops a little, and it makes JB chuckle, shaking his head slightly at your obliviousness. It really hits you all at once, exactly what JJ’s recent change in behavior meant. The intense stares, the end of his slew of meaningless hookups, and especially the sincere compliments that you’d been taking as a joke. You knew you had to see him, so you looked up at JB and handed him your glass, taking his keys from him. “Tell Kie where I went, please.” You turned and started to make your way through the crowd and you heard John B’s cheer through the noise of the party, smiling as you reached the door.

You don’t even bother turning the radio on when you get in the van, the pounding of your heart loud enough. When you get to the front door of the Chateau, you can hear the television on and it takes a second to see JJ’s outline resting on the couch. The front door slams behind you and JJ doesn’t turn right away. “Jeebs, why are you ho-” The question catches in his throat when he turns and sees you in the doorway instead of John B. He breathes out a quiet “wow, hi.” You move towards him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders so that his hands fall at your hips.

“JB told me you wanted to see me in my dress, so here I am.” You look up at him teasingly as a blush spreads across his cheeks. “Plus, I couldn’t really have any fun at the kook party. The cutest boy in town wasn’t there.” It’s JJ’s turn to be left speechless and it makes you giggle. The sound pulls him out of his trance and its milliseconds before his lips are pressed to yours. You snake your fingers into his blond hair and you feel his hands squeeze at the meat of your hips as your lips part and he licks into your mouth gently. It feels a thousand years before you pull away, resting your forehead against his. “You’re my favorite person, JJ Maybank. I think you always will be.”

#outer banks #netflix obx #obx #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #rudy pankow #mine #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #rudy pankow imagine #rudy pankow fanfiction #rudy pankow x reader

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myhoneststudyblr · 4 years ago

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something crazy just happened...

i started this blog a year and a half ago and i honestly never imagined i would reach 100 followers let alone 15k!!! so i want to thank you ALL for being so lovely, welcoming and supportive - whenever i come on to tumblr, the studyblr community never fails to make me smile

this studyblr has been such an important journey for me and since i’ve made it i’ve grown as a person and as a student. it has taught me so much, from good study habits and self-care tips, to even some things about who i am as a person!

since i’ve created this blog and particularly in the past few months I've had the honour to meet and get to know some truly incredible people and i want to tag some people who i love and im so thankful to for being so kind:

(you should all go follow their blogs if you haven’t already)

(btw it is probably gonna be quite long cause i have so much to say about these incredible people!!! sorry but im not really sorry XD)

@redlitmusbluelitmus MIA!!! i have already told you so many times how glad i am that you are my friend but i am going to do it again right here cause i can!! you are quite possibly the nicest, funniest and supportive people i have ever had the pleasure to meet. we haven't known each other for that long but in that time you quickly became an amazing friend and we have always just *got* each other!!! 💕💕💕

@study-van yasemin - our first conversation was pretty much a car crash and every one since has made me laugh and look like a proper idiot cause im usually just staring at my phone! i’ve followed your blog for so long and i’m so proud of all the amazing things you are doing and i’m so glad to have you as a friend after so stalking your blog for so long 💕

@museeofmoon zainab!!! we’ve known each other only for a short time now but our friendship was pretty much immediate!!! our conversations are filled with emojis, emoticons, capitals letters and XDs and i wouldn’t have it any other way!!!!! your posts are works of art and i will forever stan them <3

@headgirlstudy Ellie - discovering your blog was one of the best things to come out of my 2020 quarantine challenge cause you have this incredible style and simple beauty to your posts that i just can’t get enough of! i’ve loved having our fangirl conversations about taylor swift and all her incredible songs! you probably don’t know this but one of those conversations took place when i was feeling very low but discussing all the songs with you lifted me up so much so thank you xxx

@jeonchemstudy DAPHNE!!! if i ever create a bujo, i want it to look like yours because honestly, i don't understand how you managed to create such beauty!! we are interested in such similar things and it’s been so cool to find a fellow Gallagher girl lover (i was so shook when i found out you loved the books cause i usually feel very alone in my loved of them XD) and someone who is obsessed with last week tonight as me!!! x

@bulletnotestudies sabrina... you are just incredible and such a joyful person!!! i will always remember you messaging me when i posted that i was stressed about an exxay exam and your message was the last thing i saw before doing it and honestly if gave me such a boost! you’re positivity and supportiveness blows me away and i want many many more conversations with you xxx

@lattesandlearning laura - you were one of the most dedicated posters throughout the quarantine challenge and i loved seeing each and every one of your posts! i’m so glad to be following your journey and seeing what you’ve accomplished even in the short amount of time that I've known you <3

@upside-down-uni mo!!! another incredibly dedicated poster in the quarantine challenge and one that i always specifically looked out for! you and your blog have truly opened my eyes to other experiences and educated me more than you know just from your responses and posts! i always see that you like my posts and even on my dumb little text posts you often reply and it always makes me smile! i’m so glad that you’ve created this officially studyblr and thankful to you for making the community even more colourful 🌈

@coffeeandpies pat, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but you are the basically the third person that i followed in the studyblr community and to think that we’ve actually had conversations and we are friends and mutuals is downright crazy to me because you are imo just one of those iconic blogs!!! you are a beautiful person inside and out and your text posts are hilarious and tell the best stories. thank you so much for being so lovely <3

@coralstudiies you were the first person ever to really message me on tumblr and i remember being so shook because i think your blog is just mind blowingingly incredible! every picture of your notes looks like a work of art and i don’t know how you manage to make them look so perfect!!!

@problematicprocrastinator beth, you are a pillar of positivity in this community and your supportiveness and openness is at a level that i aspire to! your morning messages are usually the first thing i see (at least when i still was going to school on the bus every morning before all of the corona stuff) and it always gave me a little boost for the day! you are an incredible writer and your dedication to supporting everyone in this community is amazing <3 (also your blog name is probably the best one i’ve ever seen and i’m so jealous ngl)

i could wax lyrical about every studyblr i know but this post is getting really long so here are more of my favourites (just know that if you are in this list i have a little monologue about how amazing you are in my head and i appreciate you so much 💕💕💕)

@chazza-studies-alevels @stuhde @captainofstudies @sosiaalitieteet @elleandhermione @mid-afternoon-tea @athenastudying @learning-to-think @serendistudy @philology-studies @rivkahstudies @emili-a-a @nabasynth @divinity-study @cals-desk @abbieestudia @studywithprincess @studybuddiesareoverrated @casual-minimalist @stu-dna @coffe-in-cup @adelinestudiess @intellectys @eintsein @einstetic

there are so so many more that could be added to this list and i’m sure i’ve forgotten people!! basically i ADORE every single person in this community and i’ve loved getting to know all of you and i hope i’ll be able to meet more people in the next few years 💕💕💕

Now here’s the blograte celebration!!!

I did a blogrates for 10k followers but i enjoyed it so much and it was a while ago now that i want to do it again with all you amazing people!!!

Rules

Must be following me although new followers are welcome too!

Must be a studyblr or at least mostly (cause I want to find some more studyblrs to follow)

Reblog this post

Send me an ask : in the ask begin with your favourite emoji so I know it is a blog rate then tell me a funny story!

Please don’t send anons - if your studyblr is a side blog just tell me this in the ask

Please let me know what you tag your original content with (specifically if it is not in your bio)

Please be kind and patient! i am very busy this summer with lots of work as well as running my Summer Studying Challenge so it may take me a little while to do it but hopefully, i’ll get it done as fast as possible

I will be doing these blogrates until Wednesday 22nd July

Format

i will be tagging my blograte posts with #myhoneststudyblr15k if you wanna blacklist them so your dash doesn’t get filled up!!

Thank you everyone!! <3

#i am simply astounded at all the love i've received and i am so thankful to you all!!!#myhoneststudyblr15k #me #sophie speaks #blogrates #studyblr #mine #follower milestone #long post

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epinosicc · 3 years ago

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This is going to be quite chaotic, but this is something I wrote late one stormy July night about my life this far and how I’ve realized my problems

Okay it’s around midnight where I’m at so it’s time to rant instead of sleeping because I’m a minor and I have ✨issues✨

I tend to think more than what’s probably considered healthy, mostly because I do t have people to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends, but I don’t know what they’re doing and I don’t want to burden them with my stupid problems. So like any sane person I write my problems on the internet.

I usually think about the weird things when it’s raining. It’s something about the sound and feeling of rain that makes me more content, which makes me think. Now, I don’t have any big problems by any means. I’m simply figuring myself and my life out.

First of all, my previously mentioned friends. I trust them, of course, but at the same time I don’t. And like many who think to much and have a strange amount of self-awareness, I think I know why that is. When I first started going to school, I was confident. I’d already had friends before and thought I knew how to make new ones. The problem with that is that said friends did not go to my school, so I was alone. Until I met my first two friends. They were very nice to me, we played together and got along. The thing that I started noticing though was that if me and one of them arrived at school around the same time and out third friend wasn’t there yet we’d get along great, but as soon as that third friend arrived I’d get ditched in favour of them. And that would obviously hurt me. But we resolved it (not really) and things were going fine. But that experience stuck with me. It was my first taste of loneliness and abandonment (dramatic much?) and it made me doubt myself. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there was something about me that they didn’t like.

Now jump ahead about two years and I was alone Every. Single. Recess. (Oh shit it storming outside right now and some thunder sounded like a bomb) Obviously this only made me feel worse about myself. I just remember being so desperate for some sort of connection with someone. And I got one. I started talking to this person, I’ll call them Bird, and we got along great. Pretty soon Bird was my best and we spent a lot of our time together. I was still sort of friends with the two other people, at least during lessons, and sometimes during recess, but not that much otherwise.

Jump ahead a bit more, another year or so, and my class changed. At my school my class and another (same age as us) we’re combined into one. In this class that we were combined with there were a few new people, one of whom stuck out. Mostly because they didn’t like me, and they weren’t exactly discreet in letting me know. They never said so to my face, but they made it quite clear in how they acted towards me. This also made me feel bad. Is there really something so wrong with me that others couldn’t help but dislike me for it? Can I fix it? What do it that makes me different? (At the current point in my life I’m fairly certain I know what it is so yeah. Fun)

Now, I’d always cared a fair bit about school. I was taught that education was important, and if I was going to spend hours at school I might as well use that time for something, be it academically of socially. So when those around me started caring less about their education and more about things such as appearance and social hierarchy and relationships, I was confused. Why would they just not care? HOW could they just not care? Now, I’m not saying that any of the previous things are necessarily bad things to care about. In fact, ist great! Being invested in your social life and how others view you can be nurturing and make you feel fulfilled. But too much of anything can be bad. Letting yourself care about only those things can be harmful in more ways than one. I’ve never particularly cared about those things; I don’t like dressing up or making myself look good for others. I don’t value others validation of my appearance. What I didn’t notice was that as I believed these thoughts, I started eating less.

But things are still pretty chill. I still struggle with what’s wrong and what makes me different, but that’s fine. I’m pretty sure everyone goes through that at some point in our lives. But now I’m starting to find some answers. I don’t really care much for my appearance or style, I like academic things, I’m starting to fall behind in my social development, people are becoming more bold in stating their opinions, people are more hateful and spread misinformation etc etc (there’s a fucking mosquito who won’t leave me alone fuck off please). And at this point I’m more invested in the online world. But the international online world, not my national online world if that makes sense. English isn’t my first language but I learned it from the internet/YouTube and it’s basically my second language at this point. I learned English for English content creators, and I continued following them, not the ones relevant in my home/country. So I was and still am kind of out of the loop on current influencer events here in the North. This ties in with what I thought to be the answer to my questions: the LGBTQIA+ Community.

I started finding creators from the LGBT+ and I related to them and their stories. But I didn’t think I was one of them. People at school were not afraid to boldly proclaim that being LGBTQ+ was wrong and bad and strange. That there was something inherently rotten about such people. Now, did I agree with that? No. But I let it influence to the point were I thought that others being LBGTQ+ was fine, but me being that wasn’t. I wasn’t aloud to be one of them because there wasn’t supposed to be something wrong with me. But there was something, in the back of my mind, some part of me that knew. That knew who I am and that being me was fine. Too bad that voice wasn’t loud enough.

I still had Bird with me. Granted, they also had other friends, but they still stayed by my side. And they didn’t change like others did. My two first friends are people I also grew closer to at this time. I put our “situation” behind me and ignored it. It was a new chapter of my life, one where thing were changing in the right direction. Too bad I wasn’t too good at reading maps.

At this point I’m in sixth (6th) grade, the worst grade/period/time of my life thus far. After summer break people had changed a lot. Not just socially, but physically as well. We started to mature, we were lite tiny birds, looking out of the nest and thinking about how to take flight and reach above the branches of expectations and reach the clouds of ambition. But some of us didn’t. We didn’t want to start using our wings. At most we took a little peek out of our nest and divided that was enough for now. We began to grow frightened of others and their strange ideas of leaving what we knew was safe. I’m We for those wondering.

I started struggling with anxiety, I couldn’t stand in front of people without being scared and had a few panic attacks during presentations. People would look at me weirdly and I grew paranoid of what was wrong with me. At this point I started eating even less, resigning myself to one potion per meal, and no snacks, sometimes skipping lunch. Once again some of my friends that I had at this point started drifting away from me but now the rest, and I started trusting them even less. I can’t help but think that they’re only pitying me, that they’re going to leave and that they do thing behind my back. There was also someone else who had a big influence on me.

I, along with Bird started hanging around this person, we’ll call them Pen. They were sort of new, they’d always been in our class but had been living abroad for eight (8) months and had just come back. At first things were great. Bird, Pen and I were our own little trio of friends. But soon a change occurred. Pen started getting more clingy, staying uncomfortably close at times and never staying out of our personal space. Bird ended up taking the initiative with one of our other mutual friends and had long talk with Pen which sort of ended their friendship. At first they’d all handled it alone but then Pen involved their parents and thing went downhill. But I wasn’t part of it. Which made Pen hang on to me even more. I could never get away from them, it always felt like they were breathing down my neck. I didn’t tell them this though, they just lost two friends and they must be hurt from it, seeking comfort from someone they still considered a friend. I was uncomfortable, but I felt bad for them, so I continued being around them. Something my teachers had realized at this point was that I tend to take responsibility for other and their actions, and told me that I should try to relax and talk to them as I had seemingly started to become overwhelmed. But I don’t tell others my problems so I didn’t take their help. This kind of escalated a bit next grade.

Grade seven (7) was not my best year but also not my worst. I spent summer break reflecting and thinking, and started to value myself a bit more. I started hanging out with friends more often (usually Bird), and started unintentionally ignoring Pen. Though sometimes, I think it was intentional, as the very thought of Pen at this point made me anxious and uneasy. I thought I could simply let Pen hang around with me, and then let them get their own new friend group. I didn’t want them to only hang around me, it was honestly a bit scary how much I dreaded being around them. The feeling that something was off or wrong around them wouldn’t go away. They didn’t leave me though. No; I became their sole friend whom they refused to leave. In seventh (7th) grade our class was split, with me and Bird being in different classes. I had some friends in my new class though andere became a group. I thought I could nudge Pen to become part of this group. Except that Pen didn’t interact or contribute to the relationship. They weren’t social enough with the group to become part of it, standing in the group only to follow me. And my teachers noticed this and spoke to me. I told them how I was uncomfortable around Pen, and how I would like to not have to sit close to them next time we switched we seats (done every few weeks or so). Teachers agreed. But didn’t follow through. They sat me Right. Next. To. Pen. I confronted them about this. They lied to me. Their reasoning was that one of Pen’s parents had told the teachers how Pen only felt comfortable around me, and that they would like for us to be together at school as much as possible.

I was horrified at this - I couldn’t be held responsible for another students comfort, grades and social life! They basically put all the responsibilities of the teachers - making sure students felt comfortable, helping with schoolwork when needed, making sure the student had friends in the class - on me! I was basically supposed to play friend, teacher and class for Pen! I honestly couldn’t believe it, and told my friends. They told me they understood completely - they could see how emotionally and mentally exhausted I was from taking care of Pen, studying, after school activities and being around people that they were concerned about my well being. They, too, had tried to get Pen to become part of the group, but when only one person is taking care of the ship you can’t expect it to sail. They also felt uncomfortable around Pen. My anxiety only got worse because of this, and I started becoming paranoid that Pen was always watching me, either through my phone or my windows. I could not get myself to relax, not even when totally alone, something I’ve always enjoyed and felt comfortable with.

And at the end of grade seven (7), it happened. I found out that Pen was switching schools. I feel guilty admitting it, but I felt so relieved and free when I found out. Finally, I thought, finally I would get some privacy. All of my other friends are aware of my boundaries: don’t touch me unless I’m ready and aware of it, give me some space, don’t force me to talk when I’m anxious etc. They know, respect and treat me well, and in turn I treat them well and respect their boundaries, but Pen didn’t seem to understand that no, I don’t want you to stand so close to me that I can literally feel you body heat.

So grade eight (8) rolls around and I so does a certain unspecified virus. We therefore had to have school online. For me this was a blessing. I don’t enjoy being around people for too long and I don’t ever want to deal with my classmates bs. The teachers even commented on several occasions that I seemed much happier, which I was considering I didn’t have someone constantly breathing down my neck. And now I start to drift away from Bird. I always considered Bird my absolute closest friend. Almost like a sibling. And now we were drifting apart. We both started walking our own paths, still close together but different in so many ways. We’re still friends to this day, but I don’t think our friendship is going to last until we’re adults anymore. It’s sort of sad, but it is natural. We are both starting to forge our own paths in life, our own docks from which we will eventually set sail from to explore the limitless blue beyond that is life. And one day we might even meet again on some distant island, reconnecting and sharing stories of calm blue oceans to storming black waters. But that will happen with time. For now, I’m content finding materials for my dock with my group of friends, sharing ideas for designs and unfinished blueprints of a distant future. I’m content staring at that great far away horizon painted in the colors of pink, magenta and blue, watching the clouds of today’s events and feeling the winds of tomorrow’s surprises whilst thinking of what one day might be.

TL;DR: I rant about my life and somehow become a poet at the end.

End note - I still struggle with trust and anxiety. I don’t have problems with how my body looks anymore and I don’t confine myself to strict diets and eating schedules. Part of me feels guilty about my situation with Pen, and one part of me feels relieved and happy that I don’t have to deal with them anymore. I’m smart enough and self aware enough to realize my problems and their causes, and I have the tools to craft my solutions. I’m doing good, and know how to keep doing good, at least for a little while more.

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tumblezwei · 4 years ago

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Why Kyoko Mogami is the GOAT

And why y’all are SLEEPING ON HER

Spoilers for Skip Beat, but honestly idk how much of the story I’m gonna get into for this since I’m flying by the seat of my pants. Still, read at your own risk.

Also this is LONG lmao

Kyoko Mogami is a 16 year old middle school drop-out that works two jobs day and night in order to pay rent for the Tokyo apartment that she lives in all by herself 6 days out of the week. Going into the first chapter, there are three things immediately clear about her.

1. She’s cheerful, kind, and also kind of batshit insane. From the first moment we meet her, her personality is throwing itself at our faces and refusing to calm down. (apologies for the bad quality images, I work with what I have)

2. She loves Sho Fuwa, her childhood friend and rising rock-star that asked Kyoko to come with him to Tokyo after middle school graduation to support his career

3. Nothing matters to her as long as Sho is happy. Sure, she laments that her love for girly dresses, cosmetics, and fairy tale princesses will never amount to anything since all of her money is going toward paying the rent on her and Sho’s apartment, but that’s fine. As long as her precious Sho is happy, so is she.

And, as you’d expect, things go to shit pretty quickly afterwards. During one her off days from her night job, Kyoko decides to visit Sho at his recording studio with dinner. After sneaking in past the hoards of squealing teenage girls waiting outside to catch a glimpse of him, she overhears him talking to his manager.

“I’m the heir to a prominent Japanese inn, do you think I’ve ever cooked or cleaned all by myself?” She hears.

“That’s awful,” the manager replies, “you make it sound as if you brought her just to be your maid.”

“She’s basically been my maid since I was a kid, or else I wouldn’t have brought her along with me. It’s not like I forced her, I asked her a question and gave her the choice. It’s only natural that she’d work her butt off to support me.”

And he just keeps going. Once he’s made enough to live independently, he’ll send her back. How dare his parents try to set him up with a plain-looking girl like her. She doesn’t even wear make-up!

As images of flash in Kyoko’s mind of standing in front of make-up stores with no money to buy anything, she takes Sho’s words just as well as one might expect. By unleashing the box of tucked away emotions she’s held in her chest and swearing to take revenge on Sho for using her and throwing her away like this.

. I failed to mention this at the start, but the beginning of the chapter introduces us to the most important piece of symbolism in Kyoko’s character development: Pandora’s box.

For Kyoko’s entire life, she’s held this box inside herself. In myth, once this box was opened, all of the evil of the world is unleashed, never to be put back inside. So for Kyoko, the metaphor is quite apt. Hearing Sho’s words unlocks the box and unleashes a kind of anger that not even Kyoko knew she was capable of, a kind of determination and vengeance that has her dyeing her hair and staking outside of a talent manager’s house for days on end to whittle down his willpower and give her a chance to audition at Sho’s rival talent agency, LME. Every time she hears his name, or sees his picture, she’s filled with myopic sense of rage that no one can calm her down from.

Her sole mission in life is to get revenge on Sho Fuwa, a sentiment that finds her at odds with LME’s top actor, Ren Tsuruga, who sees her one-sided quest for vengeance as an insult to people who truly love acting. But as if Kyoko cares, she needs to get revenge!

I’m gonna drop the pseudo-narration for a bit because I actually need to skip over a fair bit of plot to get to what I think makes Kyoko incredibly compelling, outside of being the funniest female character in existence. We’re going to jump forward in time to Kyoko’s first acting gig. Well, not so much an gig as much as it is a competition. She’s been tasked to play the role of a dignified inn keeper that’s serving tea to the main male character. After having broken her ankle and been challenged by the real lead actress, this is her first shot to prove she has the talent to make it in the acting industry. So in order to immerse herself in the role, she utilizes her experience of being trained by Sho’s mother to take care of the inn that his family owned. It’s here that we finally understand that Kyoko giving up her life back home for Sho wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision brought about by infatuation. It was something she’d been doing for her entire life. Everything she knows how to do, every skill she’s obtained, has been because of Sho. And this is the moment that she realizes that fact too. (the first image is from after the scene is done, wherein Kyoko cannot snap herself out of her character due to the lessons she was taught as a child, despite her sitting position making her broken ankle unbearably painful).

Even her righteous fury at being left in the dust is focused solely on Sho fucking Fuwa. Is there anything that she has than can be attributed to her own success? Does she have any skills that can’t be traced back to trying to make Sho happy? Who is Kyoko Mogami? Is she worth anything without Sho?

And I want to make this clear right now, because I know the term “shoujo” makes people hesitate. THIS is what Skip Beat is about. Kyoko’s journey to find out who she is, and with every new role she takes on and with every experience she gains, she becomes just a little closer to finding out who she is and what she wants for herself.

We watch as her love for acting slowly eclipses her thirst for revenge. A few arcs after this moment, she is contacted about a job to act in a music PV with none other than Sho himself. In the beginning, she accepts the job in order to prove to Sho that she’s climbing the ladder and catching up to him, but her performance suffers whenever she thinks about her revenge. And what saves her isn’t even putting aside her revenge, but prioritizing her own feelings above it. She wants to act! She wants to put on a good performance! So she needs to put aside those feelings of anger and draw from her past experiences to create a character that leaves Sho in the dust.

I’m gonna bet y’all are wondering about the romance, though. Because this is a shoujo, and of course it has romance. But hey, guess what? That romance is equally compelling and is an integral part to Kyoko’s character too. In the first....5 or so arcs, Ren Tsuruga ‘s relationship with Kyoko crawls it’s way out of the it’s rocky beginnings, and he slowly becomes a mentor figure to Kyoko. He’s her superior in acting, and she looks to him often for support and guidance when she’s struggling to perform a role or having difficulty with her fellow actors. To Kyoko, Ren is the goal, his level of acting is what she aspires to be, so she can stand on equal footing with him. Before there’s even a whiff of romance between them, there develops a solid bond of trust and support. And once the romance starts. Hoo boy.

To fully understand why it’s taken 12 years irl for a confession scene to finally take place, we need to bring back the metaphor of Pandora’s box. Because not everything escaped Pandora’s box when it was opened. Pandora was able to shut the box just in time for one thing to stay locked inside: hope. In the myth, this is a good thing, while negative and vile emotions run free, hope still exists within people to become better. But for Kyoko, the box isn’t a safe place, it’s a repressed place. She spent her entire life locking away the negative emotions she felt, placing a smile on her face and hoping for Sho’s happiness. And when those emotions are set lose, she locks the box back up, sealing something else inside. Her hope, her confidence in anything having to do with love.

It’s not just that Kyoko isn’t in love anymore, she feels as if she can’t be in love anymore, that she’s entirely incapable of it. The idea of falling in love with someone else terrifies her. What if she goes back to the way she was before? An empty shell that exists for other people and not herself. The box has been sealed tightly again, and by God this time she’s not going to let anything open it. And like, I don’t want to spoil much in this, as contradictory as that sounds. Because the scene where she realizes she loves Ren? One of the best fucking scenes in any romance manga ever.

And. God. I haven’t even touched on her mom. Kyoko’s desire for love, that became so warped under Sho and so desolate after his betrayal, can all stem back to Saena Mogami. A woman who, no matter what Kyoko did, rejected any affection that her child tried to give, and gave none in return. “Even a mother can hate her own child.” We get bits and pieces of what Kyoko’s mother was like, and the environment that a very young Kyoko was raised in before her mother left her in the care of Sho’s parents. And eventually we realize that Kyoko isn’t afraid of her love being rejected twice, but a third time.

Like, y’all, I’m not good at these kind of essays. I keep wanting to go off on tangents, nothing is ever focused, I spend to much time just reading the manga instead of writing this fucking post. But please believe me when I tell you that Kyoko Mogamis character development is like none other. She’s truly at the top of her genre and it’s an actual crime that she’s so underrated.

I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT KANAE, THE WEISS TO HER RUBY, THE TSUNDERE TO HER GENKI

Before Kyoko gets even a single arc with Ren, she gets two with Kanae. The first with Kanae as a central figure, and the second where Kanae is her support. She’s the one that gives Kyoko the eureka moment she needs to pull of her performance with Sho. They are one of the most developed and deep friendships in shoujo that I’ve ever seen AND Y’ALL NEED TO STOP SLEEPING ON IT. LOOK AT THESE TWO

And don’t take this poorly assembled post at face value, I’ve left out a lot of shit. Starting with how fucking funny this manga is. Kyoko’s special talent for her LME audition is peeling vegetables, there’s a running gag where Ren asks for her advice while she’s in a giant chicken costume, unaware that it’s her, the president of LME is an eccentric millionaire that likes to dress up in different themed costumes every day and loves throwing extravagant parties, Kyoko’s hobby is making voodoo dolls and talks to a miniature Ren doll whenever she needs encouragement or advice.

And it’s all packaged alongside some of the most compelling character development I’ve ever seen (for both Kyoko and Ren), and some absolutely heartbreaking drama. You will never know true pain until “I don’t have a daughter.”

Read this, ya’ll. You won’t regret it.

#I'm not going back over this because I KNOW it's not coherent but FUCK IT #skip beat #rambling #long post

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1a-imagines · 5 years ago

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A knights promise

[Characters: Izuku Midoriya]

[Overview: He swore to become your loyal knight so he would never have to leave your side again.]

[A/n: I'm not saying Knight izuku has my entire fucking heart but- that's exactly what i'm saying. I love him.]

"Come now honey, sulking in bed wont change a thing." Your father patted your back as you shoved your small head into one of the many silk pillows on your bed. It was a bed that was comically large for a child your size, but that’s the perks of being royalty, you could have just about anything you wished for.

There weren't many things royalty could complain about, there was no doubt you had almost everything a person could ever want! But being a ten year old with no friends, only butlers and maids surrounding you day and night, would make anyone a bit upset. Especially when the servants had jobs to do and no time to play around.

"There's no one else around here that’s my age! It gets really lonely." Came your muffled reply but all your father could do was chuckle at your huffy behaviour.

“What about your brothers?”

The mention of her older brothers made her groan. “They’re boring now too! They never have time for me anymore!”

As her brothers grew older the more duties they had to fulfill, whether it was training to fight or learning the in’s and out’s of being proper royalty they were always busy with something. Which meant they had little free time to spend with their sister. You used to find them annoying, as do most siblings, but now you missed the time you all used to spend together.

“I can’t believe I finally made a friend my age and he lives outside of the kingdom.” You sighed solemnly.

A few years back you and your family would often go into town to talk with the people and help around. The kingdom wasn’t the richest in the lands, nor was it the biggest but life here was happy and your father liked to show you and your brothers how the town worked. Everyone helped each other to live comfortable lives and it was your duty to check up on them and fix any problems in order to maintain peace.

You remembered your father was preoccupied with talking to a bakery owner when you noticed a mop of green hair poking out from the side of a building. Being the curious child you were, you stared at it to see what it was? A person? A fluffy animal? Your imagination ran wild with thoughts until a head poked out to look at you. As soon as the boy saw you staring back he turned red and jumped back into his hiding place.

You smiled at the memory. You were only 6 years old at the time and yet you two were able to form a friendship like no other. You remembered walking over to him and calling him out for spying but it turns out he was just curious about you, having never seen someone dressed so fancy in town before. You two spent the whole day talking and playing pretend around the kingdom. It was much more fun than standing around as your father talked to the townspeople.

The two of you were inseparable from that day forward.

But the sad news was that he lived outside of the kingdom with his mom and only came to town to buy food or sell produce once a week. So you two were only able to see each other when he was visiting and for years it stayed that way. You would wait on the outskirts of the kingdom every Tuesday at precisely midday for them to show up and the two of you would spend the day talking and playing around as his mom took care of chores.

As you grew closer your parents allowed you to stay over at each other's homes every so often too! You would never forget the way his jaw dropped once he set foot inside the castle. The look of awe on his face as you showed him around was nothing short of hilarious! He made such a big deal over every little thing that you were so used to. Like being served the best food in the lands! Or having so much indoor space to run around! Or the amount of servants that were willing to serve him simply because he was your friend!

The first time you went over to his small little cottage you were awestruck too! It was so tiny! You couldn't comprehend how they lived together in such a small space! Your bedroom was bigger than their house!

They even did all the work on their small plot of land themselves! They grew vegetables and took care of animals, cooked their own foods and cleaned their house without any help from servants! It was like a completely different world to yours but you were thankful for the experience! His home life was so cozy, even if they did not share the same riches as you. You liked to think the whole experience had made you more down to earth.

You realised how thankful you should be for all you had and you swore to yourself that anytime you came over you would help them with their work as much as you could!

You even forced the two royal guards that accompanied you at all times to help them as well.

You two were polar opposites in terms of lifestyle but it made things more interesting. You had taught each other so much in just a few short years! Never did you think you would work on a farm!! It was dirty and sometimes a bit gross but it only made you appreciate all the commoners in your kingdom. They all worked very hard to make a living.

It was safe to say that your friendship had grown pretty strong in those 4 years, even if you couldn’t spend every day together. He had to help his mom with work around their farm and you weren’t allowed outside of the kingdom since there were a lot of dangerous people who would jump at the chance to snag a princess and sell her back for heaps of jewels.

But that didn’t stop you from having guards deliver letters and gifts to him and his mom. You cared for them as if they were your own family now, they had been nothing but kind to you and you wouldn't trade your friendship with him for the world.

He just had a way of making you so happy! His smile alone was enough to cheer you up and you were sure that this was a once in a lifetime sort of friendship.

“Yes, I know. I hear this complaint everytime you miss him- and you miss him a lot.” You could hear the amusement in your father's voice. His tone made you wonder if he knew something that you didn’t? Why wasn't he taking you seriously? Why was he brushing you off and laughing at your misery?

You pulled your head from your pillow and sent him a glare to tell him you weren’t amused. You were in no means a bratty child but you could get pretty grumpy when you hadn’t seen Izuku for awhile.

“Oh don’t give me that look, you’re lucky he misses you too.” Your father gave you one last path to your back before standing up from his seat on the edge of your bed.

“What does that mean?”

Your father opened the large double doors to your room and as soon as you saw that messy green hair that you adored so much, peek through you dashed forward without second thought. You almost knocked your father over in the process.

You wrapped your arms around him tightly with a smile that could rival the brightness of the sun. “IZU!”

“Y-Y/n-!” You were aware that you were crushing him with your hug but you couldn’t help yourself. You had missed him so much! You let him go and grabbed his hands in yours. “What are you doing here!?”

“I came to see you of course! My mom said I’m allowed to stay here for a few days since I’ve been working extra hard on the farm!!” His smile rivaled your own.

He had been running around all week, trying to be the best golden child he could be and do all the jobs his mom wanted done just so he could spend some time with you. He was tired and it had been a lot of hard work but seeing your radiant smile made it all worth it to him.

You turned to your dad knowing he must have had something to do with this too. Perhaps he had sent his mom a letter to ask permission for him to stay with them for awhile?

Your father reached down to pat the top of your small head. “Don’t say I never do anything for you. Try not to cause too much trouble you two, and be in bed by 9pm, I’ll make sure to have the guards check on you so no rule breaking!” He warned with a gentle smile and you both nodded enthusiastically. No amount of rules could bring down your spirits! You were going to make every second together a special one.

As soon as the doors shut you began jumping up and down unable to contain the excitement you felt. “I’m so happy!! I can’t wait!! We’re going to have so much fun! We can play games and tell stories and oh! I can even show you some of the magic I've been learning in my magic lessons!!”

Seeing him take the bag he had on his back off and put in on the ground made you feel giddy. It was probably filled with clothes and other necessities. It just made this whole thing feel more real! He wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon and you could spend the next few days making memories and having as much fun as you possibly could!

And so you did just that.

The next few days were spent, baking with the chefs in the kitchen (and ultimately resulting in a food fight and then being scolded for the mess), showing him the new spells you had learned, reading stories together, playing games, having the guards teach you both to spar and pulling pranks on your brothers. Though Izuku was a lot less enthusiastic about the last one, he felt awful for pranking royalty! Even if it wasn’t his idea. Luckily your brothers took it well, though they swore revenge on you two and that scared him more than anything.

You felt like you hadn’t smiled or laughed this much in so long, it was perfect. You wished it could always be this way. That he never had to leave again. The castle just wasn’t the same without him around.

It was the night before he had to leave you again. The moon shone brightly, it was high up in the sky reminding you of how you were both breaking curfew. But neither of you wanted to sleep. The sooner you slept the sooner he would have to leave. You didn't want to sleep and waste those precious seconds with each other.

You were both sitting on your large window, staring out at the beautiful clear night sky as you tried to name all the constellations. Though, knowing this was the last night you two would be together before he disappeared for another week or two, had made you too upset to concentrate on what he was actually saying.

You pulled your legs to your chest with a sigh and that got him to stop talking and turn away from the stars to focus his attention on you. “What's wrong?” his small voice asked, his big green eyes filled with worry. You glanced up at him with a frown, “You know what’s wrong… You’re going back home tomorrow and I won’t be able to see you for weeks! I always have so much fun when you’re around… I feel as if I'm at my happiest with you! But-” you curled up tighter and turned your head away, “But you always have to leave and then I’m left alone again!"

Izuku listened to every word with his mouth partly agape. He understood how you felt. He was always happiest when he was with you too. He missed you every second you were apart, he had never had a friend before you and you were his most precious person. Even if he was too shy to say so out loud. It always felt so surreal that he was best friends with the Princess herself but he wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.

He crawled forward until your legs brushed together. He leaned over to place his small hand on top of yours. It was such a gentle and innocent action that was only intended to soothe a solem friend.

“But no matter how long I’m away for I will always come back to you, and every second we are away I promise to think of you. Maybe if I think hard enough you’ll be able to feel how much I miss you and you won't feel as alone!”

You blinked at his words. “How will I hear if you think about it? If you want it to reach me you will have to yell to the gods and then they will give me the message and every night I’ll yell back so you know I miss you too! But make sure to yell, really, super duper loud. Ok?”

“Ok! I promise I’ll yell as loud as I can!” He nodded so determinedly that you had no doubt that he would keep to his promise. Satisfied with his reply the pair of you fell into a silence as you sat and watched the stars twinkling from the confines of your dark room. It was peaceful, and the way the moon illuminated the two of you and your surroundings seemed magical.

There was nothing in the world that you would trade this moment for.

“You know… the past few weeks we were apart, i’ve been thinking a lot.” You heard Izuku start. You took notice of the way he nervously fiddled with his hands as well as how he seemed to smile like he was content with whatever he was thinking. “I can’t see you more because I have to work and help my mom, and you can’t leave the kingdom because it’s too dangerous..” He continued before suddenly looking up at you and it was only then that you realised how red his cheeks were.

“I want to become your knight!!” He exclaimed.

“Huh!?” You felt your cheeks heat up at the sudden declaration.

“Well.. If I work hard to become your knight then not only can we be together everyday but I’ll be able to protect you from all the dangers out there too! And that’s all I want in my life! ” He sent you a closed eye grin.

“When I grow up I promise to become the best knight in the land for you. I will protect you with my life and stay by your side forever! Then we never have to be apart again!”

----

Ah what a silly little promise that was made between ten year olds. It had been 13 years since that night and-

You honestly had not expected him to stay true to his words!

“Princess.” Your ever faithful knight bowed down on one knee to you and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his formal behaviour. Especially when no one else was around to see it. There was no need to put on a front when you were alone. “You’re guests are awaiting your arrival.”

“What have I told you about formalities? You may be my personal knight but you’re also much more than that.” You crossed your arms and Izuku looked up at you with a playful glint in his eyes. “I don’t say it for formalities, I say It out of love. A pet name if you will? You are my princess after all.” He stood up, enjoying the way your face turned red.

“You’ve gotten a bit bold lately, aren’t you still worried about someone finding out? A princess and her appointed knight dating is a bit taboo after all.” You watched as he stepped forward to take your hand into his. He always held you as if you were the most delicate thing on the planet and it never failed to make your heart swell. Even with just a simple touch he was able to show how much he loved you, how he would never dare let any harm come to you.

"We've been keeping this secret for two years now- almost three. I'm starting to find myself not caring who finds out anymore. I want them all to know how much I love you." His hand came up to gently brush through some of your stray hair. The action made you close your eyes. It was blissful to be able to share these moments with him.

"I wish for that too, but if word were to spread around we could both be in danger. There are dangerous people out there that would use this love against us." It was saddening to know that you two could never be open with your relationship. It seemed that you always had obstacles in your way, and yet your love for each still bloomed and stood strong. You knew this was that true love all of those stories you'd read as a child would talk about. There was no doubt in your mind. Your relationship may have only been going on for three years but your love for each other had been around for much much longer.

"Yes.. I know." It was selfish of him to think of showing his love for you to the world given the dangers but he could at least dream about it, right? "At least I'm able to spend all my time with you and no one dares question it since I am your loyal knight. Even if you hadn't returned my feelings I would have been content just to stay by your side." He leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your hand before holding out his arm for you to take.

"Now shall we? Your guests are still waiting for you."

You let out a groan and hesitantly took his arm. "Fine, let's get this over with." You muttered bitterly, knowing what was waiting for you in the grand hall. "But you know my orders right?"

You saw Izuku nod from the corner of your eye. "I will stay by your side the entire night. You don't even have to give the signal, as soon as any bachelors try to steal you away I will be there to save you. Even if I can't be open with my love for you, I wouldn't dare let anyone steal you from me." He declared as you walked the empty halls. He still kept his voice low even if there was no one else around. All the servants had gathered in the grand hall to serve the royals at the party but there was no harm in being cautious.

"As if they could." You scoffed and tightened your hold on his arm. "No prince from any land could match up to you. You don't just own a piece of my heart, you have all of it. That cannot be changed."

A smile crept onto your lips as you watched his cheeks turn red. He may be one of the top knights in the kingdom- hell, he was known as one of the strongest in the lands! But he was still so easily embarrassed, so easy to tease, he still held a lot of the same traits he did when he was younger, staying true to the shy, sweet boy he was. Although now, he wasn't as weak and you could tell just from holding onto his muscular arm.

He wasn't as innocent either, but that was more your doing. You tried to hide your smirk as you recalled all the times he had to bite down on your pillows to muffle his needy moans from any nearby servants. He had even torn a few of them from how harshly he had to bite them. It may be awful to hide your love but it was very fun to see him try to contain himself. The risk of being caught added a certain spice to it all as well. It was a wonder how you had never been caught after three years of this same routine.

The party was exactly as you expected it to be. Extravagant and filed with royalty. You could already feel the gazes upon you as soon as you entered the room. Kings and princes alike staring you down and hoping to get the chance to talk to you and arrange a marriage so your kingdoms could be united. It made you sick, not that all of them were bad people, but you were already in love and the thought of having to marry another man was what made your stomach churn.

Izuku must have felt you tense up because his hand came up to place itself on top of yours. "Don't worry, I'm here. Just smile and brush them off, they won't dare bother the princess and risk ruining their chances at an arranged marriage." He said with a smile, though the smile was only for show. You could see in his eyes this bothered him just as much as it did you.

You had been doing this song and dance for years, you should be used to it by now but every time proved just as torturous as the last.

"You certainly take your time." You turned to the source of the voice to see your brother standing there. His wife of five years on his arm, they looked happy and you couldn't help but envy the fact he was allowed to be open with his love. Lucky him, falling in love with a princess. He never had to worry about what people would think or worry about losing her. Their love was considered a blessing from the start.

"Brother." You bowed before him and he laughed. "Took you this long to show your big brother some respect huh?"

"Well, you are the king now. It would be rude not to show the king some respect." You replied with a smile. You father had passed away a few years back which meant your eldest brother now took the role of king. He did suit the part well, he was just like your father in many ways and you knew he would make a great ruler.

Your brother chuckled again. "See? She only acts like this in front of other people. Perhaps we should throw parties more often so I can get a bit of respect from her every now and then." He told his wife who laughed with him.

'Oh god please don't throw anymore parties.' You silently pleaded as your brother let go of his wife and stepped forward. "Actually, I have some great news! I've found a prince for you! I know you’ve been picky about it and you’re not all too thrilled about the idea but he has a lot of the same interests as you, I made sure he was down to earth and not a stuck up snob, and he's quite handsome too- not more than me of course but i'm sure he'll fit your low standards just fine." You would have elbowed him for that jab at you had the dread in your stomach not settled in already.

Your brother was not aware of your love for Izuku, otherwise you were sure he wouldn't have bothered with all this. But you refrain from telling him out of fear you two might be separated. The relationship between you two was to stay mostly professional, everyone knew you two were best friends but to be more than that could cause problems. In fact, even being best friends had made a few people worry that he was not fit to be your knight. Feelings could get in the way and distract him from his main duty. The relationship was supposed to be strictly professional so he could focus on protecting you.

Somehow izuku had managed to convince your family he would let no such thing happen, and he stayed true to his word. He never let himself slack off from his job even if you tempted him to. He was always prepared to protect you with his life and he trained hard everyday to make sure he was fit enough to be your protector.

“Ah- brother- about that.. I'm not sure…" but before you could protest further a tall, handsome man with kind eyes was shoved in front of you and you were being introduced to each other. “Why don't we leave them alone for a bit. Come with us, Midoriya.” and thus you were left to helplessly watch as Izuku, your emotional support, was taken away from you. How could you get through this party if he wasn’t there to keep you from losing your mind?!

You ended up being stuck talking with this prince for hours, listening to him talk about his family, his kingdom ect. He seemed nice enough, you had no problem with him. Under normal circumstances you were sure you two would get along just fine!

At least he wasn’t being rude to you like a few other snobby princes had in the past. But no matter how nice he was you could never love him.

Not in the same way you loved your precious Izuku. This was never going to work out for you. You refused to subject yourself to mindlessly talking with a guy you had no interest in. You weren’t even really listening to him, your eyes were glued to Izuku the whole time. He was standing by one of the walls along with a few of the other knights. His eyes never left you either, the rest of the room faded away as you longingly stared at each other, but with your brother's eyes on you, you both felt obligated to stay away.

The more you stared at him the more your heart tugged you towards him. You were unable to take any more of this, you craved to be encased in his arms. To have him pet your hair as he whispered loving words into your ears as he always did when you were upset or stressed. Why did the world always have to keep you apart when all you wanted was to be by each others sides?

You shook your head in frustration. The staring from all the other royals, forcing yourself to smile and act interested, having to be torn away from the one you really wanted to spend your time with. It was everything you hated all at once and you suddenly felt your patience snap in two.

With a sigh you stopped the prince from speaking any further by raising your hand. “I apologise but I need to go now.”

Was all you left him with before walking off, not caring how rude you might have seemed. All you cared about was rushing over to your knight.

You weaved through the endless crowd of people to get to him. He perked up immediately seeing you walk over, pushing himself from the wall and meeting you halfway. “Let’s go Izuku.”

He followed you out of the grand hall and through the long hallways, his step in time with yours as to stay close to your side. The walk was silent, he got worried when he saw that look in your eyes. You looked exhausted, frustrated, upset and he suddenly felt he should have done more to help you back there.

Though the knight held no authority against a prince and to intervene would be highly inappropriate. Not to mention it would raise suspicions, Especially when the king himself had told Izuku to give you some space so you could converse with your "potential future husband", he couldn’t go against the king! He felt so helpless! The whole time he was staring at you he was trying to think up a way to get you out of there and back by his side.

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been a little bit jealous of the prince taking up your time but it hurt him even more to see that look of sadness in your eyes as you forced yourself to endure it all.

As soon as the doors to your bedroom closed you turned to him and the spark of determination in your eyes made him freeze up. Your expression had completely changed and it had startled him. You looked so upset a second ago that he had half expected you to cry or rush into his arms for a hug. What was running through your mind?

“Lets run away together.”

“WHAT!?”

“Shh!” you panicked at his outburst, hopefully no one was around to hear it. “I said let's run away together. I can’t deal with this life anymore.”

He didn’t know what to say. Run away? It was so sudden. You had always seemed pretty content with your life here. Especially when he started living in the castle. His room was right by yours and you were able to spend everyday together like you had always dreamed of as children. Not only that but you had a wonderful family and everything you could ever want, and now you suddenly wanted to run away?

“Princess… I don’t think you’ve thought this through- You’re tired from the party and you must feel upset from having to deal with all of that but- running away? That’s a really big deal.” He tried to reason, running away with you sounded like a dream but he couldn’t just agree when it would mean you would be leaving your family and whole kingdom behind. You would be giving up so much to run away with him and it would be selfish of him to jump at the chance.

“Is it? Think about it! I'm never going to become queen or anything- especially since I refuse to marry any of those princes. It’s not like I have duties to fulfill, I’m practically just around for show at this point.” You argued as you brushed past him.

“I know but..” he weakly tried to argue but his feelings were stopping him from doing so. As your knight he had to pull some sense into you, but… as your lover he would want nothing more to be free with you. To love you openly and not have to worry about arranged marriages or sneaking around 24/7.

You grabbed a hold of his hand and smiled up at him with nothing but love in your eyes. “It may seem like some rash decision but this has crossed my mind many times before.” You spoke softly.

Your room was dark with only the moon to illuminate it just like it had the same night he made that promise to you when you were ten years old. The day he swore to become your knight and protect you forever.

“You remember what you said to me all those years ago. Right over there.” You said as your eyes turned to the window, he followed your gaze. Of course he remembers how he could ever forget? “You said all you ever wanted in life was to protect me and stay by my side forever and that’s all I want to. To be by your side. Forever.” You gazed into his eyes and he couldn’t help but admire the way the moon light bounced off your face, it was a breathtaking sight. You looked like a goddess, your skin was shining, your eyes sparkling.

He couldn’t believe that you were really his. That your heart belonged to him.

“Imagine how freeing it could be! We could go on adventures! See the world! Maybe someday settle down somewhere and start a family, but most of all we would no longer have to worry about princes or hiding our love. That’s all I want! Not riches or parties or fancy clothes, none of that matters to me when you’re around. You’re all I need.” You finished.

He must have been trying to hold it back but you still noticed the way his eyes gleamed with tears. You reached up a hand to cup his cheek and his larger hand came up to cover your own. “Then lets run away together.” He finally spoke.

His smile grew with yours as he leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. It was sweet, soft, innocent, a kiss made to seal a promise.

“I will stay by your side, forever and always, My princess.”

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