#the ammount of things i harm my removing myself would be too great to warrent doing so despite my existence buring a hole in the pockets of
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#God made a mistake letting me live to this point in time. He should have taken me out years ago.#Despite the fact that ive become a useless human being with no future some how ive charmed to many people into giving me attention#i selfishly took up caring for other animals and making online crafts so now people and other living things are dependent on me#the ammount of things i harm my removing myself would be too great to warrent doing so despite my existence buring a hole in the pockets of#those who for whatever reason care for me despite me being a leach off of them#any attempt to lift the burden off of them that is my existance would simply cause them to hurt more#questioning if it was their fault or if they could have done something to stop it#and mourning me believing my absence would create a void in their life#despite the fact there are a billion other humans out there that could do what i do better in every aspect and who they deserve in their#life instead of me despite this obvious fact they would still be hurt by my absence#god should have taken me out via some kind of horrible accident that was no ones fault a long time ago before people had gotten the chance#to know me and be hurt by me and be burdened by me#so my family could mourn and move on and be forgotten#if i had died in 8th grade things would have been better for everyone#i would have had no friends only family would mourn me#my parents would have had the chance still to have a better kid instead of me#one that wasn't broken and doomed to be a pathetic asexual adult child#someone who could actually give them grandkids#no one would have had to suffer having to deal with my bullshit#i wouldn't have hurt anyone yet i wouldn't have suffered myself and my parents wouldn't have had to deal with my debts left on the earth#so i am forced to live now#as pathetic as I am i can't give up until ive found some way to repay every debt i owe to everyone#perhapse then i can slip quietly from this earth unnoticed as a leech such as i deserves#alas for now that is meerly the pipe dream of someone too pathetic and lazy to hope to achieve
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