#the age gap and growth of both CG and GY naturally limit what they can do to each other and what they can be to each other

[cyndaquillt]

I'm on the chapter where they captured the leader of the bandit group Chang Geng had his first memories with and Gu Yun is close to finding out everything and it's viscerally driving in the point of how helpless Gu Yun feels that he could not do anything for Chang Geng back then because he was also a child.

When Chang Geng was a baby, Gu Yun was about 7 and couldn't possibly have done anything to save him. When they found Chang Geng at 12 yo, Gu Yun would've been roughly 19 and it's illogical to expect a socially awkward ptsd ridden 19 yo to immediately grasp that Chang Geng may have been running away from an abusive parent, especially when both Xiu Niang and Chang Geng were hellbent on hiding it so well. Of course Gu Yun has regrets. Whether you are old or young, naive or perceptive, you are still you and the people you love are still the people you wanna save and you couldn't do it. You couldn't be there and when you were there, you didn't get what was happening.

And at this point it comes full circle when you realize that Chang Geng feels EXACTLY the same. Him wishing he was born 10 years before his time, him trying to grow up faster and become capable soon so that he could be of use to Gu Yun, all of those are Chang Geng's fight against time and his own youth. Gu Yun wished he wasn't a child when Chang Geng needed rescuing just like Chang Geng wishes he wasn't a child when Gu Yun needs/needed support