#the absolute whiplash since he got those piercings

[biherbalwitch]

started Not Me today

someone help this poor man this is not his natural habitat

[thejudgingtrash]

hello mel i Love You

HELLO DIL I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE!!!

You had me SCREAMING! Criminal genius/Detective Annabeth is my new hyper fixation, I fucking swear T_T

My brain went OVERBOARD with this! It’s super long! Please enjoy!!

(I’ve withheld this story due to the current political climate and I still feel sorta a way. But if reading about the p*lice triggers you or makes you feel uncomfortable, I wholeheartedly understand if you want to skip this one. Also... the story has some... a little bit of heat in it. Not much, it’s SFW. But it’s there <.<)

And: law enforcement, medical and science side of the pjo fandom, I doubt that this will make any sense :D

Also thanks again Torie @percyheartsannabeth for being an amazing beta!!

The Golden Age (WC: 9,5k)

i.

“Absolutely not,” Detective Annabeth Chase crossed her arms and shook violently her head. The blonde curls nearly escaped her bun. Her partner Detective Luke Castellan was surprised. He had never seen Annabeth reject a direct command.

“We need his statement, Chase,” said Sergeant Charles Beckendorf. “It’s his M.O. The drugs, the paintings. Either he’s operating from prison again or someone’s copying him. We need to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all!”

“Even so, we’re busy with the robberies in Chelsea.” Annabeth didn’t want to pick this case up again. The case that made her famous, the case that changed her life forever. For the worse.

“Stoll will take over that with his younger brother. Chase, you don’t have a choice. You will talk to Perseus Jackson. That’s an order,” Captain Dougenis commanded. He had the final say. Luke nodded, Annabeth did nothing.

“Don’t you think we haven’t tried to get him to cooperate earlier? He said he only wants to talk to you. The person that put him behind bars,” Beckendorf explained.

Fuck Annabeth thought. She did not want to face Perseus Jackson again. She wanted to forget him and move on. The looks from her two superiors said that they would deny her wish. Jackson was a cunning manipulator. She knew how he worked and what he was. A criminal. A thief. A criminal.

“When will I speak with him?” she sighed. A battle that was lost quickly.

“In two days. Should give you enough time to study the case files,” Dougenis said.

Off to a great start. The sound of footsteps echoing in the hallway muffled as the prisoner was placed into the interview room two days later. He sat down and the cuffs fell from his hands. He rubbed his wrists. A little bit of freedom regained. Orange was a hideous color, but he actually managed to make it look good on him.

He and Annabeth were separated by the thin layer of the one-way-mirror. His sea green eyes scanned the plain fake wall in front of him. They tried to find her as he knew he was being watched. The piercing stare actually caught her eye directly. Annabeth sighed. He couldn’t hear her, but a smirk found its way onto his lips regardless. He knew her.

“You’ll be fine in there?” asked Luke who would stay outside of the interview room. He had been a part in arresting that monster. The condition that Jackson gave them was that he wanted to speak with Annabeth – alone. Annabeth nodded. Then she stepped into the small room. Tension laid in the air.

Four years had passed since he had been locked up. Perseus looked good. His hair was grayer, the beard had been trimmed recently. He looked like he exercised on a regular basis. Annabeth’s eyes spent two seconds engraving the picture of his brown biceps into her memory.

“Perseus Jackson, 38, born in New York City, arrested due to art theft and extortion. Twelve years. You’ve managed roughly a third so far.” Despite her marvelous work, they never were able to charge him for drug trafficking directly. The witnesses had remained silent. Annabeth took a seat in front of him.

“Annabeth, you know me,” Perseus pouted. A contrast to his deep voice. “Call me Percy,” he winked.

Her neck felt hot. “It’s Detective Chase for you!” she hissed. Amusement sparked through his eyes.

“Okay, Detective Chase.” How was he able to make her name sound so… dirty? So profligate?

“The woman that I have to thank for my new cozy home needs my help now all of a sudden. The tables have turned. I like that.” And Annabeth did not like one bit how his mocking tone sent shivers down her spine. The way his tongue flicked. The urge of standing up and fleeing the room was prominent, but she was a professional and had a job to do:

Make Perseus Jackson sing.

“I need information.” Annabeth’s mouth was pressed to a thin line.

“Straight to the point, Detective, huh?” The attractive man leaned forward. “And what information do I supposedly have?”

“Your family never stopped your business,” Annabeth spat. Perseus shrugged and his fingers tapped on the desk. An annoying habit.

“Someone is operating with the same methods as you. Art gets stolen and drugs follow the leads. Either you’re behind it or someone else has been recruited to fill your place. We need to find that someone.” She opened the case files and showed him pictures of missing paintings and locations as well as new collecting points for drugs on a map.

“Oh?” Jackson made and tilted his head. He faked interest and glanced lazily over the pictures.

“I’m pretty sure that I don’t have the time in my precious little cell to run all of the things that you’ve been accusing me of. Everything comes at a price, Detective,” he then smiled.

Sea green met light gray. Annabeth swallowed. Memories came back.

ii.

Two years. Annabeth had spent two years on that fucking case and barely made any progress. The smuggling of paintings to cover up or be used as payment for drug operations just didn’t make any sense. Her partner Luke got undercover into the business as a small middle man, but the rules were different for women. Sexism ruled yet once again. Detective work had narrowed the window down and came to one person: Perseus Jackson. He was invisible. He was a phantom. He had been swallowed by mother earth, never to be seen again.

He was part of the Greek syndicate that ruled with an iron fist over the East Coast. Not even the Italians, Chinese, Egyptians or Russians had that much power. Chrýseon Genos. The Golden Age. A fitting name for a bunch of pieces of shit that found joy in ruining people’s lives and making New York unsafe each and every single day. Everything was coded and followed the basic principles of Greek mythology. After Konstantinos Olympianidikis, otherwise known as Kronos, died in the 1970s due to a raging war with his own brothers, his three sons split the legacy and entire empire into three sections:

Adrian Olympianidikis. Hades. Racketeering and money laundering.

Petros Olympianidikis. Poseidon. Theft and drug trafficking.

Zacharias Olympianidikis. Zeus. Prostitution and human trafficking.

All these crimes were tied to the Golden Age and the police forces couldn’t do anything. Witnesses vanished or remained silent. The little evidence they had left was either compromised or disappeared. Everyone in the Golden Age had their little specialty. Everyone passed missions and power onto the next family member in the hierarchy. So did Petros aka Poseidon do the same thing with his sons. One of those sons was Paris. His youngest. The only pieces of information that Annabeth had of him were a 17-year-old picture that showed Paris shoplifting with some of his cousins and a diploma that showed that he had studied art history. A picture of him as a boy and proof that he had a college degree. Wow. Compelling evidence.

Annabeth took one final look of the teenage boy. The picture had been taken in the year 2000 hence the quality of the security camera of Macy’s being complete shit. Despite seeing a long mop on his head and awfully baggy clothes there was next to nothing that was useful for Annabeth in the year 2017. Hell. Who knew what Jackson looked like now as a grown man? The probability of him running around like in the early 2000s was next to none.

“And?” Annabeth asked Luke as he returned from a meeting in the syndicate.

“Poseidon is willing to speak to you,” her blond colleague nodded. The scar under his eye had proved his loyalty. A near fight for life and death. The other person had remained in the hospital for a while but was fine and dandy by now according to Luke.

“Okay.”

“Only you. Not anyone else. I’ll drive you.” Annabeth nodded.

The townhouse in the Meatpacking District did not look much like most of the houses in the area. The real luxury laid within. The house was filled with two kinds of people: security guards and young models. Annabeth felt uncomfortable and underdressed as she was following a young girl’s lead. Barely a woman. Not only did Poseidon enjoy his life at the fullest, no, he was also rich as fuck. Young women served drinks and cooked in the kitchen. Bikinis, shorts and cocktail dresses so short that they nearly gave Annabeth whiplash. A young thing named Lacy brought Annabeth to the garden where a mini pool party was going on at its fullest.

Despite being in his 80s, Poseidon looked good. He looked young and was full of life. He looked like he was in his solid early 50s. The hair and the bushy beard were so white that it seemed to have been dyed. The tanned skin was healthy. A friendly face. The only indication of his age were the neck and his hands. Had Annabeth been into older men, she had to admit that she wouldn’t have said no to Poseidon from the visuals alone.

Poseidon enjoyed his book and the giggling girls in the background as Lacy caught his attention with the new arrival. “Ah!” he said, and his eyes twinkled as he put the sunglasses away. Girls were swimming in the pool or playing volleyball, music was blasting, and food was served.

“Detective Chase!” Poseidon stood up and shook her hand. A firm grip. He spoke with a soft Greek accent.

“What can I do for you?” he asked friendly.

“More like how can you help me speak to one of your sons?” Annabeth smiled.

Poseidon laughed. “Which one? I have many.”

Yes, you do you horny bastard the blonde thought. Poseidon had twelve sons in total. Or twelve sons that he publicly claimed. All by different mothers of course. All of them had joined the family business and most have paid the price with their lives.

Proteus. Triton. Khrysomallos. Pegasus. Arion. Polyphemus. Bellerophon. Theseus. Orion. Sciron. Chrysaor. Paris. More than half of them were dead, less than half of them were alive. Tryfon aka Triton, the son Poseidon had when he was 19, had been killed by his cousin Iraklis also known as Hercules in 1974. Orion had been twelve when he had been shot in the street by Antonios and Phoebe aka the twins Apollon and Artemis in 1986. Assassinated by his own cousins. The trend of getting killed by your own family members was fairly present in the Golden Age.

“The youngest,” Annabeth answered which made Poseidon laugh.

“Ah, my boy Paris. What did he do?” Curiosity swung in the words of the old man that referred to his son in his codename.

“Sorry, confidential,” Annabeth deflected and pouted.

“Of course, of course. Ah the police. Friend and helper. As you can see-” Poseidon pointed to the precious gardens. “My son isn’t here.”

Annabeth nodded. “Well, if you happen to see him, tell him to give me a call.”

She gave him her card. Poseidon studied it. “Of course, I will Miss Chase.” Another friendly smile.

The blonde nodded and then left. The smile of the old man vanished for a split second only to appear as one of his young helpers gave him one of the many burner phones of the house.

“Thank you, Drew!” he said before pressing a number into the small device.

“Yes?” asked the tired voice of a man on the other side.

“Can you explain to me why a certain Detective Chase from the NYPD came to my home to talk about you?” The old man sounded cold and amused at the same time.

“What?” Now he was wide awake.

“I thought the woman would introduce herself as your fiancé! Something that would actually make me proud,” complained the old man and nodded to another young thing that handed him a drink.

“I will take care of it.”

“Yes, you will.”

The line was dead.

And Annabeth continued to work for another two weeks without any other results. Her shift came to an end but at least the desk was clean. She didn’t drown in mountains of paperwork like Castellan did.

“See you tomorrow!” said Connor Stoll as she crossed ways with him in the hallway.

“See you!” Her mood had reached its lowest so far. It was time to visit her best friend since childhood and his bar The Grove. As soon as Annabeth stepped out of the police department, it started to rain.

“Great.” Her steps got faster.

Fortunately for her, The Grove was within walking distance. The pouring sky distracted Annabeth so much that she didn’t realize neither a black Lexus parking around the corner nor the footsteps that had been following her. The leather jacket and the blonde curls were wet but nothing that would worry bartender and owner Grover Underwood all too much. He had seen her in fairly worse states.

“What can I do for you, Annabeth? An Old Fashioned like usual?” His friend nodded.

“Have you eaten something?” The dark-skinned man knew Annabeth and her habits. Overworking herself and forgetting to eat lunch were her favorite deadly combinations.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind something to snack on,” she confessed.

Grover only shook his head but gave her a glass full of pretzel sticks. A delicious Old Fashioned stood on the counter a few moments later. The door behind her opened and closed.

“What can I do for you, sir?” asked Grover and looked to the door.

“Whiskey. Double.” A rich baritone. Pleasant to the ears.

Annabeth heard the squeaking of the barstool next to her. She turned her head to the right and nearly fell to the ground. A man sat next to her that was a younger copy of Poseidon. Paris Olympianikidis also known as Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon. The man she had been searching for since forever randomly decided to appear. Her talk with Poseidon must have sparked something and Annabeth hated the stupid rule about women not being in the family business unless they had been born into it even more. Precious time that could have been used for undercover operations had been wasted.

Perseus looked… good. Good didn’t even describe it. His salt and pepper hair had the same streaks in the beard. He had a chiseled face with a straight nose. Wrinkles around the eyes showed that he loved to laugh and smile. He seemed to enjoy his regular exercise; the way his shirt shifted whenever he moved a muscle made it seem like it was about to tear apart. His skin was of a rich brown, and his lips were curled into a devilish smirk. The sea green eyes were a direct copy of his father’s. He had won the genetic lottery. He had nothing in common with the shoplifting boy from the year 2000.

“A little bird told me you were looking for me,” he winked.

Why did her chest feel so heavy? Why weren’t her lungs functioning normally?

Percy had to admit. His father had been right. Annabeth Chase was his type. Her body had a beautiful shape from what he had observed in the past few days. A firm ass that did Pilates on a regular basis in a class not far from her shithole of an apartment. A heart shaped face and a slight tooth gap that made her look only more adorable. Blonde princess curls that seemed to be fairly taken care of with expensive products. But her eyes… an interesting gray that told him one thing: she had a flaming spirit that was blessed with intelligence. Or was it cursed by its burden?

“Your father,” she commented.

The whiskey was served, and Percy took a swig. He was pleased.

“Do you mind?” the handsome man asked as he grabbed a smoke. Annabeth turned to Grover who ignored the antics of the new customer. The bartender placed an ashtray in front of him instead. What in the fuck is going on?

“I usually don’t smoke,” he confessed and lit the cigarette regardless. Annabeth pulled a face. Where was the logic in that?

“And you do now because…?” The interest was honest.

“I only smoke when I’m having a good drink-” He raised the glass to Grover who nodded and appreciated the compliment. “And am sitting next to a beautiful woman,” Perseus winked.

Annabeth didn’t know whether she wanted to blush or strangle him. She was 29 and acted like an insecure school girl for fucks sake! She nearly laughed.

“So, I have the honor of finally meeting you, Annabeth.” The way he said her name. So smoky and dark. He belonged in prison for that.

“It’s Detective Chase for you!” she hissed. The criminal next to her only raised an eyebrow.

“Bossy. Kinky. I like it,” he smirked and enjoyed the redness of her face as he pulled from the cigarette and blew the smoke.

Grover in the corner tried to hide his laughter with a cough. Annabeth turned to her best friend with a murderous rage. “Annabeth and kinky. Yeah right.”

“Grover, shut up!” she commanded. Jackson next to her was more than just amused.

“Now I’m interested.” He tapped some of the ashes off.

“You really want to know the details of her love life?” Grover asked.

“Oh, I definitely bite,” Percy smiled. Yes please. Annabeth wanted to smack herself.

“Could we come to the more pressing matters?” the woman groaned.

“Sure,” Jackson shrugged.

He lifted his drink, she lifted hers. They met in the middle and both felt a spark immediately.

“I need information.” Chase cutting the chase.

Percy smiled. “Everything comes at a price.”

The fact that Annabeth had spent another hour next to him and had let him pay for all of her drinks made her stomach churn in hindsight. He even insisted on paying for the Uber that picked her up.

As Annabeth returned to her apartment, she started searching through it high and low in her semi drunken state. The stupid Greek syndicate had to have bugged her. Her already chaotic apartment was even more disheveled. At least she would be forced to properly clean up once the weekend hit. The worst part was that she found absolutely nothing.

What’s worse? Being wrong or being crazy?

iii.

“I’m pretty sure you got the wrong person,” Percy said and grabbed the glass of water in front of him. The interview room looked sad. “I know nothing.”

“I’m pretty sure we’ve got the right person,” Annabeth retorted and leaned forward. Her hand grabbed the edge table so tightly that the vessels nearly popped. He had to give her something.

“You’re the key. You were the blueprint and now someone’s running off with your legacy. And you’re more than okay with that?!”

“Mmhh,” Percy made. As if he had seen the most delicious thing in his life. The fact that he didn’t lick his lips was a wonder. Annabeth’s eyes followed his gaze right into her cleavage. Two buttons of her blouse that had been left open. Boys will be boys.

“Are you fucking serious, Jackson?” she spat.

The prisoner leaned backwards into his chair with a grin that quickly vanished. “It stinks in here,” he sighed.

Annabeth halted her movement. Her eyes widened in shock.

“No,” she whispered.

His beautiful sea green eyes told her one thing. Yes.

iv.

“Is this really necessary?” Annabeth questioned Beckendorf’s decision behind his back.

A visit to an art gallery. Perseus Jackson decided to become visible to the public eye all of a sudden and started to work as an art collector and conservator. He had meetings with clients, he had visitors in his studio and seemed to actually use his degree for something. Whether it was for the good or not was a matter of perspective. The criminal went to the gym daily; he even bought his own fucking groceries. Observing him had been nerve wrecking. Especially since probably he knew that he was being watched and therefore enjoyed every second of Annabeth’s annoyance. The detective felt like a true voyeur. He hadn’t done anything suspicious unless being a little piece of shit counted. Jackson didn’t separate his waste for an instance. Prick.

When Luke told her that Jackson had planned the opening of a gallery and proposed that they should go, the blonde almost laughed. A public event where no invitation was needed. A ballsy move. It seemed like Jackson really gave no fucks. Unfortunately, Beckendorf caught wind of it and now she was forced to go.

“I’m afraid so,” Luke said as he rubbed his temples. He really wasn’t in the mood for a fight with Annabeth. She was an opponent that just maimed you with arguments.

“What’s going on, Annabeth?” her colleague asked. “You wanted to find Jackson the entire time. You’ve worked for years on this and now you’re basically backpedaling. This is so not you.”

For better or for worse, Annabeth didn’t talk about Luke with her meeting with Jackson at The Grove. Something told her that she should hold onto the information.

“I don’t know. Just a bad feeling I guess,” she confessed. Annabeth didn’t know what would happen once Jackson was aware of her presence. And he would definitely see her.

“You’re not alone.” Luke patted her shoulder. “Grace, Beauregard and hell even that di Angelo informant guy said they would be present. Jackson must have pulled a big gig if even the Italians are interested in his shitty joint. Nothing will happen to you.”

I’m not so sure about that, Annabeth thought, but the only thing she did was nod.

A month had passed, and the day of the gallery opening was finally there. Annabeth stood in front of the building where soft string music could be heard from the outside and guests flooded in. Annabeth saw how undercover cop Jason Grace entered. He quickly glanced in her direction but turned around. Annabeth understood; he was a valuable asset who could not let his cover get blown over.

The blue dress that she wore hugged her curves tightly and the high heels that she chose made the detective regret every life decision that led up to that exact moment. Her soles would be burning the next day and it wasn’t like in the movies. An attempt to run in those things would be a one-way ticket to the ER. The wire in the dress didn’t make the discomfort any better.

“Chase, everything's fine?” asked Beckendorf in her ear. Of course, she had been bugged.

“Yes, everything is good. I’m moving,” she said.

Annabeth mingled with the crowd and entered. The blonde actually stood in awe and registered all the modern pieces. Pop art, minimal art, abstract expressionism, all sorts of different post-modern works that fought for space but harmonized wonderfully together in the rooms. How the fuck was that criminal scum be able to display works from Andy Warhol, Helen Frankenthaler or Jackson Pollock?

They had to be either stolen, bought for a large sum, rented, which was not the style of the Greek syndicate or, something that was Jackson’s supposed specialty, be forged. A waiter offered her champagne which she politely declined. As much as Annabeth would love to cloud her mind, she could not afford it on that evening. She had to look out for Jackson. The blonde made her first round at a slow speed.

“Can you see him yet?”

“No, not yet. Oh, there he is! With Chiara Benvenuti!” A known mafia bride. Chiara was surrounded by her bodyguards like always as she pointed towards a picture.

“Good,” Beckendorf breathed into her ear. “Perhaps we can finally raid this place.”

The painting was an abstract piece with lots of red elements. Blood that was spilled on the dance floor. Something fitting for a coldhearted villain.

“Of course, painting it was a task, but I thoroughly enjoyed it,” Annabeth heard Jackson say. The way Benvenuti laughed made her rage. Jackson joining her, didn’t make it any better. The fact that Benvenuti stared at his tanned chest as he had left some of the buttons of his shirt open, pissed the detective even more off.

Jackson’s sea green eyes shifted to the right and caught her staring at him. A pleased expression rested on his face and the smile could almost be considered to be honest. Embarrassed, Annabeth turned around and immediately left the corner. Fuck that mission. Fuck everything. Fuck that man in particular and the uneasy feeling that rested inside her heart. She saw Luke mingling with two people in black suits, they looked like they would fit the description of some of the Golden Age’s lackeys. Luke was irritated but there was no time for explanation. Annabeth needed alcohol, she needed it badly.

“Chase, what’s going on dammit?” hissed Beckendorf as he heard her frantic steps. She was glad he was unable to see her in that pathetic state.

“Nothing,” Annabeth lied. “Don’t want to blow cover.”

Fortunately, another waitress was making her rounds and Annabeth grabbed a glass which she nearly inhaled. She was wandering through the gallery and tried to figure out her next steps. Too little, too late.

“You left me waiting. Good evening, Detective.”

Annabeth almost let the glass fall as she heard his deep voice behind her and felt his large hand around her waist. A scent of musk and fresh sea breeze crawled into her nose. The grip wasn’t extremely tight, but it was clear that Perseus Jackson had no intention of letting her go.

“Fuck!” hissed Beckendorf into her ear. It was too early to storm the place. They had nothing in their hands against Jackson.

“You have quite the collection,” Annabeth complimented him.

“Thank you, love.” She punished him with a sour look that made his grin only widen.

“Interested in buying?”

“If it’s real perhaps.”

“Oh, my dear Annabeth, everything is real.” The warmth of his hand spread throughout her entire body. Her glass was empty, and he gave it to one of the lackeys.

“Mister Olympianidikis,” the boy nodded and ran off with it immediately. Oh, the power of someone in the higher hierarchical position of a crime syndicate.

Jackson accompanied her through the gallery and showed her his favorite pieces.

Annabeth could picture Beckendorf walking up and down in the small van, nearly losing his shit at the man babbling about oil colors or frameworks that he or other painters used. Jackson was hindering them on purpose. Something was going on.

“There’s something I want to show you. Follow me.” He took her hand and walked to a hidden niche. Jason Grace who stood in the corner and spoke to a woman eyed them with suspicion.

A white door was there with the words Emergency Exit engraved on it. A cold and naked hallway was in front of them. Lights were off and the moon was the only orb that illuminated the place. They were alone.

“And what are you supposed to show-” Jackson cut her off. With a brutal kiss.

A spark that set the entire place in flames. Annabeth did the one thing she was not supposed to: not use her intelligence. Her arms automatically wrapped themselves around his neck as she fiercely kissed him back. Their lips fought a battle against their lungs, and they dived into each other again and again. Taste. That was all they thought.

Percy pulled away from Annabeth. She was beautiful. Her citric smell was divine. The delicate updo was no more. The lipstick was smeared. Her lips trembled and there was something else written in her eyes. Lust. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. A wild look was on his face. He kissed her again. He held her close to his body and pressed her against the wall.

Annabeth felt how one of his hands slid underneath the dress. Did Annabeth exchange the boy shorts for a thong in the last minute? Yes, she did. Did she regret that decision? No, she did not. But his hands had a different goal in mind. The yanking made her shriek into his mouth. A solid welcome for his tongue. The wire underneath her dress was no more. Only then did he place his tight grip on her ass.

Oh, two can play this game Annabeth thought and grabbed the wire that stuck out of his collar.

“Guess that no one’s listening in on us anymore,” Percy commentated.

“It seems like it,” Annabeth agreed. A calm before the storm. A storm that broke loose as they kissed each other again. Percy’s lips wandered.

“Who told you to waltz in this place with this fucking dress?” He claimed her neck with kisses. His beard tickled her. “You look perfect!”

Annabeth wished she could retaliate the compliment. Percy looked fairly handsome in the beige suit, but her brain was short circuiting and only focused on not moaning too loudly and enjoying the feeling of being pressed against him. The probability of her colleagues rushing in that compromising situation was way too high.

Percy broke the kiss off for good. He made a move towards the staircase. A foot was set to the lower step. “Come with me!” His hands reached out for her.

Annabeth was panting. Heart or sanity who would win? Annabeth made one decision that would seal her fate forever. She took his hand and the unlikely pair fled out of the building.

As soon as they opened the backdoor, Annabeth heard a frantic scream for her name. There was no turning back now. A black car was waiting for them in the hidden alley. It looked like Castellan didn’t do his homework properly and had received the wrong plans of the building to study.

Percy held the door open for her and she slipped into the limousine. Percy followed. “Leo!” he barked. The vehicle moved with screeching tires and drove through a garage which led to a tunnel that Annabeth had never seen. She stopped paying attention to it as Percy claimed her lips yet again.

The car ride was a blurry memory. They entered another garage which was when the car stopped. “We’ve arrived,” announced the chauffeur.

Percy nodded to the front and then exited the car. He reached out for Annabeth and helped her out of the car. “Where are we?” she asked as they entered an elevator.

Percy pressed a key card against the board. “My home.”

There was no time left for sightseeing. They immediately entered the bedroom. His jacket was tossed aside, her dress slid to the floor. Both of them fell to the bed. Both of them never wanted to leave the bed.

Annabeth woke up to the wonderful smell of coffee. Her eyes fluttered and the memories hit her. The wonderful night she had shared with a wanted criminal. Her naked body was wrapped in satin sheets. The blonde sat up. Her pale body was sore and ached but in the best way. She didn’t remember the last time she had sex with anyone; work had been way too busy. She didn’t want to remember. What Perseus Jackson did to her would be fairly impossible to top.

Said Perseus Jackson entered the bedroom in nothing but sweatpants and two mugs. Oh yes, he did enjoy his daily workouts. “Morning,” he smiled.

“Morning,” she replied and thanked him for the cup. A delicious aroma took over the room. Annabeth took a sip.

“Mmhh,” she delightfully sighed. Two pumps of hazelnut and heavy cream, just the way she liked it.

“Yes, I did do my homework,” he laughed and drank his tea. “You aren’t the only people that study others. Was seeing me work out at least fun?”

“Shut up, Jackson,” Annabeth blushed. He laughed.

The cop finished her cup and Percy put it on a nightstand. “And what do you want to do now?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Something’s coming to my mind.” His light eyes darkened, and he cupped her face. Annabeth pushed the blanket aside, revealing her perfect self.

“That insatiable?” she laughed but didn’t receive an answer as she felt his lips on hers again. Her hand went on to grasp his black curls.

“Very,” he said as his hands roamed over her very naked body.

Putting the blue dress on again felt wrong. Percy wouldn’t have minded for Annabeth to stay the entire day at his apartment, but he knew she had a point when she said that her colleagues would searchthe entire city for her. Turning brick by brick if they must.

“I honestly can’t come up with a good excuse for my boss. You didn’t think this through.” Annabeth wandered through the modern apartment. It was bathed in light and had window fronts that showed her the entirety of Manhattan and the green of the Central Park. A dream apartment. The Golden Age had money, no doubt in that.

“Well… I actually have an idea,” Percy started. Annabeth turned to him with one cocked eyebrow and her hands on her hips.

“That sounds like I won’t like it,” she predicted.

He opened a cabinet and showed her the bottle.

“Are you fucking serious?!”

“Well as you’ve said. I didn’t think it through,” he shrugged with a goofy grin. It made him look adorable. Stop Annabeth. No time for that. Percy grabbed a cloth as well.

“Let’s just say that I never had the honor of being treated that way,” Annabeth muttered. But she agreed with him. It would make the lies that were about to come out of her mouth easier.

Percy kissed Annabeth one last time and brushed a lock out of her beautiful face. “Sweet dreams, Annabeth,” he wished her.

Then he pressed the drenched cloth over her nose and mouth. Her eyes rolled back, and she was embraced by darkness. Annabeth slumped down but Percy caught her.

Four hours later, Luke Castellan and Jason Grace made their way to Annabeth’s apartment, looking for possible clues. Both of them were fucking pissed. At Jackson, at Annabeth, at the entire fucking operation. The police force was frantically looking  for her. They got Paris Olympianidikis for kidnapping at least. If they would catch him.

Luke had a key to Annabeth’s apartment because they were  close friends. Annabeth had actually defied orders, nearly ruined a mission and drove him to the hospital as his wife gave birth three years ago. He had to find her. Not to make it even, but to know that his friend was safe.

“Look for anything useful,” Luke commanded. Jason nodded.

Luke entered the living room and Jason worked through the bathroom which was followed by the bedroom. He nearly slipped to the floor.

And there she was, sleeping like a princess.

“Annabeth?! Annabeth! Luke, she’s here!”

The next thing Annabeth remembered was waking up in the hospital. She knew that everyone was pissed at her. But Castellan had defended her for the stupid act of following a criminal to nowhere. Jason had seen where they left, and Annabeth thought the Sergeant could hear important information. Who would have guessed that the wiring would be cut off?

Examinations. DNA samples were taken to get a hold of Jackson. Questions. So many questions. A knock. Yet another person that wanted to annoy her. “Yes?” Annabeth sighed.

“Annabeth,” Beckendorf entered the hospital room. Annabeth felt patronized but of course her hands were tied. She refused to speak with her boss about a certain criminal. She covered up the truth and enjoyed living her life in lies. The young detective had no family who anyone could call. That made Beckendorf extremely worried about her.

The tall man took a seat next to her bed. “I’m not here to tear you apart, pretty sure Captain Dougenis had the pleasure.” Yes, he had. “I want to hear from you what happened.”

The blonde retold her vision of events. “I don’t know,” she sighed. “It was a trap. I can’t remember how I ended up in my apartment.” Annabeth spoke a little truth in her web of lies.

“The way our connection cut off as soon as you left the exhibition… I thought it was static. Then you were gone.” Oh no, he heard us making out Annabeth thought. She tried to suppress the panic that was bubbling up in her and was glad that Percy had discarded the wires. The technicians at the police department would have immediately figured out that there had been no static. She remembered almost everything. The staircases. The car. The apartment. The way he felt between her legs. The way she straddled him. The way he grabbed her throat. The pleasures and the cries.

Beckendorf looked deeply into her eyes. He knew that she had something to hide but was wise enough not to ask. The old man was one of the few people that blindly trusted her instincts in the department.

“Okay,” was all that he said. “I’m trusting your judgement.” She nodded. He was a kind soul.

“Take the next week off. You need the rest.” Beckendorf stood up.

v.

Percy saw how her delicate fingers grabbed the folder and closed it. The shiny object fell into his vision.

“I like your ring.” His sea green eyes shot up to her face. He saw a slight blush on her cheeks.

“Thank you,” she nearly whispered and played with the small white band.

“Someone very important gave it to me a long time ago. Someone dear to my heart.”

He blinked twice. She blinked twice.

A devilish smirk rested on his face.

vi.

Their affair lasted an entire year. The fact that it came to an end was saddening. But it was predictable. Star-crossed lovers from two entirely different universes that weren’t meant to be. Otherwise the balance of both of their worlds would crash, burn, and fall.

Annabeth had insight into the police work and Percy had insight into the Golden Age. That was the sole reason they barely saw each other in a work related context. They actually managed to live a fairly happy life outside of the working hours. They went on secret dates, they visited museums after they had been closed and reopened only for the powerful son of Poseidon, they watched movies together, they even flew out to visit his Hawaiian mother Sally who adored Annabeth. And the sex was amazing. A welcoming bonus. Both felt happiness for the very first time. Both felt love for the very first time.

The secret studio in his art gallery was one of the few places where they could be free.

“And here’s the Mona Lisa,” Percy grabbed the painting out of the box. He showed Annabeth some of his latest pieces that were part of his collection or creations. Real paintings and forged ones.

“Wow, that looks so real. An incredible copy.” Annabeth had visited France in her college days.

“The thing that’s hanging in the Louvre?” he winked.

“Tell me you’re joking.” The corners of his lips pointing up was all she got.

Annabeth laid next to him a week later. They were inside of her shitty apartment. Percy had surprised her because of course he could cook as well. To the question “Is there something you can’t do?” Percy only answered, “Change a tire and board planes because I hate heights.”

He might have been joking, he might have been serious. Annabeth did not care. She had returned from yet another demanding shift. This time her task force had hunted down one of Zeus’ kids. Aristidis also known as Ares. Despite being in his late 40s he was an annoying little piece of shit. The fat fuck tried to sell child slaves on the dark web and barely managed to escape them.

As Annabeth had entered her apartment, she was greeted by the delicious smell of parmesan that melted over fresh pasta. Seeing houseman Percy cook was not only a picture for the gods but something she could get used to. Annabeth placed her bag on the sofa and ran to the kitchen to greet Percy with a kiss. A passionate kiss.

“Aren’t-” kiss. “You-” kiss. “Hungry?” he asked between their kisses.

“Well, I think we can eat later.”

“Grover is right, you’re a terrible liar when it comes to food,” he joked. The Grove was another spot for them together. Once the customers left, the three would sit together and joke. Mostly at Annabeth’s expense.

Annabeth pouted and then kissed him again. The only thing that broke her silence was her stomach grumbling.

Percy broke off from her with a roaring laughter. “Eat first. Then we can come to the more fun activities.”

Annabeth pouted but Percy unfortunately had a point.

Now she was fighting against falling asleep as she laid on his chest and he played with her hair. He inhaled her smell. Raindrops were racing on the window as gravity pulled them down. The shower on the outside calmed them. “There’s a good reason why you never found me. Why no one found me,” Percy started.

Her tiredness was gone. Curiosity won. “The fact that my father uses me as his master forger is abundantly clear, right?”

Annabeth nodded. They didn’t talk much about his business ventures in the Golden Age, but she had pieced large chunks of the puzzle together.

“I want to leave my family,” he confessed.

“What?” That came as a surprise to Annabeth. Percy seemed fairly content with his life in the family business. He joked about it and enjoyed the high standards of life that came with the fruits. Then again, Annabeth had seen the dark shadows that followed the Golden Age everywhere they went. Blood, bodies, chaos, destruction.

“A rule that my father engraved into my brain was to be invisible. Live like there’s no tomorrow, but don’t forget to clean the remains of yesterday. The day me and my cousin Ethan were caught shoplifting seventeen years ago changed me. It changed us all. We were so naive, and felt so invincible. For normal parents that would have been a tirade and grounding. Our parents think differently. For Ethan, whose idea it was to begin with, it cost him his eye.”

Annabeth’s eyes widened. The cruelty of parents. The fact that the Golden Age had no problem with hunting their own down was still sickening to her.

“It didn’t matter. Four months in and he had been shot by the Russians, the Bratva. Nearly started an entire fucking war,” he sighed.

“Percy, that’s horrible.” Annabeth tried to see if there was any emotion left in his eyes. There was none. His eyes were dull from the wars he had seen. Percy was blind and used to the cruelty of the survival of the fittest.

“Annabeth, I’ve witnessed my first murder as a thirteen-year-old. At least I haven’t pulled the trigger myself yet. Not in a deadly way.” He stared at the white ceiling.

Her heart broke for the boy that lost his honest smile. “That doesn’t make it any better.”

“No, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t.” Percy hugged her tightly. “I want to be free. Die as a free man. Live in the sunlight and not in the shadows. Not in fear of getting gunned down by a crazy family member. My father spoke with my uncles. They gave me an impossible task. Once I solve it, I’m a free man.”

“Who are you? John Wick?” she joked. She wasn’t in the mood for cracking stupid jokes, but she had to uplift the situation or else the mental image of Percy losing his innocence as a child would forever haunt her.

“That guy is amazing; I’m not going to lie.” Percy managed to crack a crooked smile.

“And the task?”

Percy sighed. He wouldn’t have minded a smoke. “It stinks in here, the three of them had said. ”He turned to Annabeth. “There’s a rat.”

A rat? she thought. “Someone that betrays my family. They mix up our business and create chaos from within as if they want us to implode. I have to find and either obtain or eliminate them.”

Someone that betrayed the Golden Age? Whoever they were, they were crazy and suicidal.

“And what do you want to do once you’re free?”

“Move to Hawaii. Be reunited with my mother again. Find a woman,” he looked at her and grinned. “Marry her, pop out a kid or three. Be an artist.”

Silence. Annabeth was speechless. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that and being a part of that,” she whispered.

Percy only kissed her.

Another month later. The fact that Percy disappeared around her birthday upset her, but that was life. He had been in Los Angeles for a gig. Which gig exactly she did not ask. Was it a legal gig? Highly debatable. It had something to do with the rat. That was all that he told her.

A small package got sent to her and she was curious to see what it was. No sender. Carefully she opened it. A small ring box was in there. Tiffany’s & Co.

A card was attached to the box. Happy Birthday, Princess – P.

“Oh no…” Annabeth opened the little box. The ring had a small silver band that was covered in small diamonds. Her jaw dropped. The ring was beautiful. And it was meant to be for her?

Annabeth put it on. It sat perfectly on her ring finger. Annabeth looked at the box again. It had a code on it. The detective grabbed her phone and searched for the ring.

“WHAT THE-”

Perseus had spent fifteen thousand dollars for that little piece of jewelry.

“No…” she cried. How could he have spent so much money on her?

Annabeth ran into her bathroom and shoved a loose tile aside. She used that little space to hide something. That something was the burner phone that Percy had given her so that they could always stay in contact. Annabeth called him.

“And?” he asked.

“PERSEUS JACKSON!” she yelled.

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?!”

“Why? Don’t you like the ring?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I love it. We have to talk about the price.” Her left hand already played with the beautiful ring.

“Why? Do you want a more expensive one? Let me know which one, I’ll buy it,” he stated.

“What?! No! You’ve spent way too much on that ring! I can’t accept this!”

Percy laughed. “You can and you will. It is my gift for you. Happy birthday, Annabeth.”

Annabeth wanted to scream. Denying his gift felt so wrong, but it was the right choice she made.

“Once you’re here we’re going to have a talk. We have to return this!”

Annabeth could practically hear how he shook his head. “You’re going to like the ring and you’re going to keep it.”

“Fine,” she huffed. Annabeth accepted her fate and waited until the days of solitude would be over. Until she was reunited with her Percy again.

The year had passed. Then it happened. The day Paris Olympianidikis would fall.

vii.

“Cooperate with me, Jackson,” Annabeth sounded soft. He merely raised an eyebrow.

“Cooperate and we can make a deal. Better conditions in prison, a reduced sentence perhaps and-”

“I want out,” he boldly stated.

Annabeth stared at him blankly. “Pardon me?”

“You said cooperate and we can make a deal. That’s my end of the line.” Jackson leaned back into his chair again.

Annabeth was speechless. He had beaten her with her own game. She closed her eyes for a second before focusing on him again. Don’t let him get the best out of you.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He smirked as he loved to hear that answer. Then she remembered what he had said.

“You said it stinks in here?” she repeated. Annabeth eyed him suspiciously.

“Yes, Detective,” he truthfully answered.

“What does it smell like?”

“Colors, Detective.”

“Why?”

“You should be able to see it for yourself.” He scratched his temples.

viii.

They got him. They didn’t get him with drugs or anything else that would give him a long sentence. But they got him with one of his forges. The good old Al Capone method. If you don’t get him with the big guns, try to stick to the petty crimes. Criminals get sloppy. Especially criminals that do way too much in too many places. The meeting was over, and everyone cheered. Everyone but Annabeth.

“Shouldn’t you be happy? Hell, Annabeth. You’ve spent more than three years on this case.” asked Travis Stoll.

“It’s just…unbelievable. The fact that everything comes to an end. Goal completed and all,” she smiled sadly.

Annabeth dreaded her seeing Percy again. He was waiting in her apartment and probably preparing food for them. The sight of her apartment complex made her heart sink. Where once was joy, ruled depression.

“Annabeth, what happened?” Percy ran to the door as he saw her in her desolate state. The door closed and she told him what would happen in the next sixteen hours.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. Percy just held her and hugged her tightly as the tears blinded her. He fought his own tears that threatened to rise. Their future, destroyed.

“It was bound to end like this,” he said. Sadness rested in his voice. But also, tranquility.

“No.” Annabeth shook her head and buried her face into his strong chest.

“Whatever happens. I’ll be fine. Most of the prisons and the judges are smeared.” He kissed her head.

“Of course, they are,” she laughed darkly. Knowing that he wouldn’t be subjected to fights in prison didn’t do much to calm her down. She’d rather have him next to her.

“Annabeth. I want you to arrest me.”

“No. Never.” She violently shook her head again and slapped his shoulder.

“I mean I’m already used to your cuffs, now’s the chance to make it official,” he grinned.

“Percy! Now is not the time to joke about our sex life.” They shared a laugh anyway.

“I have another wish. Move on, Annabeth. Live life to the fullest,” he whispered.

“Everything but that.” She refused to move on. How could she?

“Find an idiot, marry him, have kids and live happily with him. Do that for me. Please,” he continued.

“I want you to be that idiot,” she pressed and looked deep into his eyes. “I don’t care how long it’ll take. I’ll wait for you.”

He kissed her. Don’t do this Annabeth. Don’t give me hope he thought.

The unlikely couple hugged each other tightly as they went to bed. One last time. It didn’t come to Annabeth as a surprise to find his side of the bed cold and empty. His side. His side was no more, it was only her side.

Perseus spent the night and morning hours in the art gallery. He had one final piece to finish. He drank and smoked and cursed. The bottle of cheap whiskey nearly fell to the ground, but he managed to catch it.

The oil painting was a self-portrait. An anchor to the last few moments of his life as a free man that hid in the shadows.

The task force broke into his gallery. He had a cigarette in his mouth and put the paintbrush down as his lover approached him. He had a sarcastic smile on his lips which vanished as he registered the pain in her eyes.

“Perseus Jackson, you are under arrest,” spoke Annabeth with a commanding tone.

She put him into cuffs and read him his rights. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court... A glance at the painting he had been working on ever since he left the apartment.

Annabeth knew immediately that it was them. Percy in the painting hugged her but their faces had been cut off. She saw the birthmarks on her back and the accuracy of how he portrayed his hands on her hip. Percy’s final act of love to her for all of them to see. Unfortunately, all of them were blind to it. All of them but Annabeth.

The moment she was at home she ran to the bathroom and emptied her stomach. Gush after gush came out of her. Her mouth felt sour and dry, the teeth hurt and had an ugly yellow color, the tears that blinded her ran towards her nose. “What have I done?” she cried and looked at her pathetic self in the bathroom mirror.

Judgement day came eight painful months later. The judge slammed the hammer and sealed his fate.

Twelve years. Twelve years was the sentence. Perseus lost his coolness for one second. Annabeth’s heart broke in two. Poseidon who sat on the other side of the room looked like he wanted to shoot the judge right then and here and Annabeth would have gladly joined him.

They were robbed of twelve years together. Percy was put into handcuffs. His sea green eyes searched through the ranks until they found her gray ones. He blinked twice. I love you. She blinked twice. I love you too. The police officers around her almost cheered.

They complimented her for the worst decision of her life. An act that had destroyed her life. Her lover was gone. And a free rat was still out there.

The trail of memories stopped. Annabeth knew that Luke was restless behind the one-way-mirror. The talk had stretched into eternity and gave little information to the hidden detective, but so much to Annabeth. Percy had been right. He was roaming freely in prison. He was able to talk with his family day in and day out. And most importantly. He knew of operations. And he knew of his own operations the best.

Finally. There was movement in the gallery. Whoever was decided to continue the work of Percy Jackson was stupid enough to revisit the place where it all began. The rat would be caught in a trap.

“NYPD PUT YOUR - no.” Annabeth had the gun pointed at him. But she couldn’t believe it. The rat. The rat that had cost her four years of their life.

“I’m sorry, Annabeth,” he sadly smiled. Then he pointed his gun at her.

A shot.

Annabeth had closed her eyes. The bullet didn’t hit her. It had hit him as Luke Castellan had fired a warning shot into the abdomen. The detectives moved to him.

“Call an ambulance!” yelled Annabeth to the cops that flooded the place. He laughed on the floor as he bled.

Jason Grace. Secret son of Zacharias Olympianidikis also known as Zeus. He not only wanted to act in revenge as Percy’s brother Sciron had killed his older sister Thalia. He wanted to spite him and take over his businesses as well. The money and the gold. The cars and fame. In his twisted mind he was able to run the syndicate and destroy it at the same time. It was over.

Annabeth saw as the ambulance drove off. Percy scratching his temples as an indication for the glasses and his talk about colors to point to the gallery would be his ticket to freedom. Hopefully.

ix.

It was the first time that Percy had seen the sun as a free man again. He left prison with the clothes he entered. The deal with the district attorney went smoothly although the old man would have rather wrung the half-Greek’s neck.

A black car drove up to the prison. Two people exited the car.

“Mom? Dad?”

Sally and Poseidon hugged their free son tightly.

“You are stupid!” cried Sally. “Both of you!”

Father and son winced. That was Sally Jackson for them.

x.

Quitting her job had been freeing. She had made the decision about half a year ago. Annabeth wanted to see something new. Experience something new. She was on the way to the small airport. The day was sunny and warm. A new day to start a new chapter in her life.

Annabeth arrived. “You can stop hiding, we aren’t being followed,” she laughed.

Percy yawned in the backseat. “I was sleeping,” he excused himself.

“Of course, you were.” She rolled her eyes and smiled into his reflection in the rearview mirror.

Her colleagues were upset, especially Luke, but it had to be. She had to quit for her own sanity. Beckendorf would check up on her and then see who she was with and connect the dots. But he would be wise enough not to contact her, not to rat her out. He would be happy about the fact that she had found love.

They would live with Sally and her little family for a while before they would buy their own house. The private jet that Zeus had given them would bring them to Hawaii undetected. A small sorry as the son of Zeus had caused a lot of trouble in the family. At least Jason was still alive.

Annabeth stopped the car and turned to Percy.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” she grinned. A delicate kiss was shared.

A golden age was truly upon them.

The End

Ummm... I... I think this might be a poppin feature fic? I have still many ideas and many things could be fleshed out...? Help?

BUT THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE SUGGESTION DIL OMFG ILY!

All Cookout Fics

Cute/Cursed Cookout Writing Prompts

[e-of-west-glendia]

Happy birthday to the wonderful @imliterallyvirgilandlogan!! You are an absolutely amazing person and I love you to death.

(Apparently I’m incapable of writing fluff without angst so um enjoy this fluffy angsty mess. To be fair Sirius Black on Mother’s Day is basically a recipe for an inevitably angsty disaster.)

Something About Mother’s Day

(I can’t come up with creative titles)

Sirius sat on the edge of his bed watching Peter, James, and Remus finalize cards and wrap up gifts. It was Mother’s Day. His absolute least favorite day of the year.

Sirius had had bad experiences with Mother’s Day in the past. At the Black residence it was never a time of sweet celebration and kindness, it was always some dull party that was really just an excuse to showcase their wealth. Alternatively it was a meeting with all the Sacred 28 members. Sirius has found that those were the worst Mother’s Days. Sitting at a table, back straight, giving small, perfunctory nods to everyone he encountered and answering awkward questions about being in Gryffindor and producing heirs (he was 16 for god sake).

It had to be around noon when he finally decided that he should leave. There was no use in bringing everyone down with his feelings about this holiday.

Hopping off the bed, Sirius made his way to the door.

“Honestly, my mum is too nice for her own good. Last Mother’s Day she sent me a gift— Sirius where are you going?” James had stopped halfway through his sentence, glasses slipping down his nose as he peered over the top of them at his friend.

Sirius shrugged. “Nowhere in particular.”

Peter cocked his head to the side curiously, while James and Remus narrowed their eyes in suspicion.

“Sirius is something—“ but Sirius was gone before Remus had even finished his question.

Peter turned to the other two boys. “Do you think it’s because…” he started.

“Probably,” James and Remus said in unison.

~~~~~~~

Sirius found himself sitting by the lake. If he was being quite honest with himself he couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten out there in the first place. His mind had been swimming with images of that past winter.

Drunken screams and broken glass. Flashes of light of every color. And pain. Excruciating pain. The faint crack of broken bones— it had taken him a while to realize that they’d been his bones broken — and the sharp metallic scent of blood. Everything had been hazy after that. Regulus’ hands on him, silently cursing and muttering about something that Sirius had been too pain weary to try and listen to. Two flashes of green light— one that smelt sickly sweet and poisonous, death laced in every syllable. The other, light and warm and smelling slightly of ash and burnt wood. Then he passed out in the Potters living room to the sounds of James screaming for his parents.

A light tap on his shoulder almost made him jump. He looked behind him and almost jumped again when he saw who it was. He quickly schooled his features into something befitting the infamous Sirius Black — Marauder and mischief maker extraordinaire.

“Ms Evans, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked.

Lily rolled her eyes at him. “Shut up, Black.”

Sirius laughed. Since becoming a prefect Lily and Remus had begun to hang out more. Which meant that Sirius saw more of her than he had in previous years and it also meant that she seemed to hate him significantly less. By significantly less he meant he would say hello to her in the halls and she wouldn’t completely ignore him. Unless of course James was around. Then she’d just leave.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s up? This has to be the longest conversation we’ve had all year.” A grin lit up his face. “What, have I finally started to grow on you?”

Lily turned slightly red and scowled at him. “No.” She said firmly. Then, “I just saw you sitting outside alone and I thought I’d make sure you didn’t get eaten by the giant squid. Actually, on second thought, I wouldn’t mind if the giant squid ate you.”

Sirius laughed again. “Isaura wouldn’t hurt me. We’re best friends.”

Lily snorted. “I’m sure that’s exactly what she thought when she threw you out of the lake last summer.”

Sirius shrugged. “Our relationship might have its ups and downs but I promise you we’ll withstand the test of time.”

“You’re an idiot,” Lily sighed. Then she peered down at Sirius. Sirius got the odd sense that she was analyzing him with that piercing green gaze.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” she asked. He’d been correct.

Out of instinct he said. “Nope. Everything’s all good.”

Lily didn’t buy it for a second. “Uh huh sure. You’re sitting outside, by yourself, skipping stones across the lake while staring forlornly at the horizon. Not to mention it’s fucking freezing outside and you’re not even wearing a jacket. Meanwhile I just came from the common room where your friends are being idiots as usual.”

Sirius winced. She had a point.

“You don’t hide your emotions nearly as well as you think,” Lily finished.

Sirius grumbled something about meddling redheads that made Lily smile.

Lily chewed her bottom lip for a second before sighing and plopping down next to Sirius. Sirius glanced at her in confusion.

“Not going to run away screaming this time, Evans?”

“Har har.”

It was another few seconds of silence before Lily turned to Sirius.

“I heard about what...happened...over winter break,” she said cautiously.

The small smile that had been creeping onto Sirius’ face died immediately.

“I suppose Snivellous told you then.”

Lily bit her lip, fighting a retort against the nickname.

“Doesn’t matter where I heard it from. I just— what I’m trying to say is...I get it.”

Sirius snapped his head to her so quickly he almost gave himself whiplash.

“You get it,” he asked, voice nothing shot of venomous. “Oh I’m sure you ‘get it’. Because everyone understands what it’s like to be—“ he stopped short at the silencing hand the girl held up.

Sometimes the power Lily Evans commanded over people amazed him.

“Easy, Black. That’s not what I meant.”

Sirius gave her a look that clearly said well then what did you mean?

Lily sighed again, it sounded sad this time. Sirius almost felt bad for snapping at her. Almost.

“What I meant was...I know what it’s like to not have the best relationship with family members. And my situation is definitely nothing on yours,” she said quickly when she heard Sirius’ scoff. “But I know what it’s like to be the hated one— the outcast. And it sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, least of all you.”

Sirius stared at her but Lily kept speaking. “You’re a good person, Sirius. Annoying? Yes. Arrogant? Totally. A bit self absorbed? Definitely. But you’re a good person. You care about your friends and they care about you. Nothing your bitch of a mother says or does will ever change that.”

Sirius snorted at that last part. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Sirius was silent again, debating on whether or not he should ask Lily the question that was now swimming in his mind.

“Hey Lil—“

“My sister,” Lily cut him off. “You were going to ask who in my family it was, right? It’s my sister Petunia. She’s hated me since I got my letter.”

Sirius winced slightly. He definitely knew a thing or two about difficult sibling relationships.

He didn’t apologize though. She wouldn’t want to hear that. Instead he said, “Yikes.”

“Much yikes,” Lily agreed.

“I meant what I said, y’know. About your friends. They really love you, Sirius. I mean you and James are basically brothers — practically joined at the hip. You and Peter are always laughing about something. And Remus,” she paused for a moment, as if debating on what her next words were going to be. “Remus, especially. He cares.”

For the millionth time that morning Sirius gaped still Lily. “What do you mean especially Re—“

“Speak of the devils,” Lily said, interrupting him and climbing to her feet. “I think I’d best be off now.”

Sirius squinted into the distance. He could vaguely make out his three friends picking their way across the wet grass towards them.

“Well Black it’s been fun. I swear I’ll kill you if you let it slip we ‘hung out’,” Lily said, framing her words in air quotes. Despite her menacing tone she was smiling.

“I don’t doubt it,” Sirius laughed.

Lily sent him one last smile before quickly setting off across the grass.

She was halfway to the greenhouses when the other three arrived at Sirius’ side.

James, in typical James fashion called out, “Hey Evans! How about you come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

Sirius snorted at James as he watched Lily flip him the finger and shout something that sounded like “In your dreams, Potter,” over her shoulder before she disappeared around a corner, red hair flying around her face.

“Trying to steal James’ girlfriend?” Peter teased.

“Yeah!” James said, rounding on him. “What was that about.”

Sirius barked out a laugh. “You wound me Jamie. You really think I’d steal the future Mrs Potter from you?”

James spluttered incoherently at him. “Besides,” Sirius continued. “I’m not really into girls that psychoanalyze me.”

Remus snorted. “Yeah, she does that.”

Sirius looked up at Remus, reveling in the way the early morning sun turned his brown hair gold. He couldn't help staring at him, but could you blame him? Remus Lupin was beautiful in just about every way you could be. Inside and out. His mind flashed to what Lily had said about Remus. She couldn’t know that he was in love with Remus...could she? And she certainly hadn’t meant...had she? No, he thought firmly. She definitely hadn’t meant that. The odds of Remus liking him back were about 1 in a million and Sirius had never been high on good luck.

It seemed as though James had just remembered how far off the straight spectrum Sirius Black was because he said, “Oh...right...yeah…”

Sirius laughed at him. James’ face suddenly turned serious. “Right. Back to what we’re here for,” He said. “It’s Mother’s Day and Mumis fully expecting a card from both of her sons.”

Sirius gave him a confused look. “What do you mean both...?”

“Oh please,” James scoffed. “You heard what Mum said to Walburga on the platform back in January.”

Sirius very clearly remembered. Euphemia had looked down right murderous when she’d said, “And if you ever touch my sons again, Walburga, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” Even his mother, the unshakable Walburga Black, had taken a step back. Sirius had no doubts that Euphemia would make good on her threat. He smiled to himself. She kinda reminded him of Lily.

“And anyways you’ve been a Potter since the moment I met you.”

“He’s right,” Remus said, nudging Sirius with his foot. “You were a Potter long before you were formally adopted by them.”

“Exactly,” James said, nodding at Remus. “Now hurry up and sign the damn card. There’s going to be hell to pay if she doesn’t get a gift from both of us.”

James extended a hand to Sirius, which he accepted and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

“Best get started on that card then,” he said.

The four of them headed back across the lawn. Remus leaned down close to Sirius, his hair tickling the side of his face.

“What’d Lily say,” he asked softly in his ear.

Sirius repressed a shudder, mentally chiding himself at his reaction. Just friends. Just friends, he thought to himself. He sent a glance in Remus direction. Curious green eyes met grey and Sirius sighed. Taking what Lily had said to heart would really just be wishful thinking.

“Nothing,” he said.

“Hmm,” Remus said, unconvinced, but he didn’t press it.

Sirius grinned at him.

Despite the answer that Sirius had given Remus, something definitely had changed between Lily and Sirius. And though neither of them would ever admit it at the time, from that day forth Lily Evans and Sirius Black were most definitely friends.

[weakzen]

(Not So) Small Detective Ask Game

(list here for anyone else who wants to do it)

alright, one sadsack detective and where she stands at the end of book 2, comin’ right up.

01. What’s their name and how do they look?

Alexandra 'Alex' Black.

Five foot three shorty. Twenty-eight years old. Light blue eyes. Long, bright red hair, usually done up in a big puffy Dutch braid. Athletic and curvy, with a decent amount of muscle. Covered in some gnarly scars too, mostly on the left side of her body. Buy her a drink and ask real nice about them, and she might just tell you about the time she got her ass kicked and almost died in a bar fight.

02. Why did they join the police?

Needed a job after crawling home to Wayhaven with her tail tucked between her legs. It was supposed to be temporary, just something to pay the bills while she worked up the nerve to jump back into academia.

Then years passed, applications remained unsent, and one day, she looked up from behind Reele's old desk and slowly realized she was never going to have the courage to get that PhD.

03. How did they get the promotion to detective and what do they think about it?

She turned the Chief down and kept turning him down for the promotion, right up until the morning he slammed a 'Detective Black' nameplate down on her desk and told her that she started in an hour.

After he stomped out of the station, she just sighed and spun around in her chair a few times.

That general mood hasn't changed since. But if no one else is stepping up, then she'll do the best job she can.

Not like she's really a mathematician anymore, so…

Might as well.

04. Can they handle blood/gore?

Yes. Very easily.

All that emotional detachment has to be good for something, right?

05. How are they with people?

Depends on how much those people like evasive sarcasm and bad puns.

06. What’s their relationship to Bobby?

First serious relationship. First love.

First person to stab her in the back so thoroughly she almost had a nervous breakdown.

You know, because of the whole threat of being kicked from her grad program and having her undergrad degree stripped away, the ongoing investigations of academic fraud, plagiarism, and theft of her TA answer keys.

And then, when the evidence for all of it wasn't lining up Bobby's way, the personal smears, the weaponization of everything she'd ever told him in confidence, until finally—the cherry atop the whole shit sundae—his accusation that she'd abused her authority as a TA to coerce him into a relationship.

All of that from someone she once truly believed when he looked her in the eye and told her she mattered to him more than anything.

These days, she avoids Bobby as much as possible. Because she fucking loathes that little ratfuck piece of shit, yes, but mostly because she's legit worried that she'll eventually snap and break his jaw if he keeps calling her 'angel' and trying to put his fucking hands on her.

She'd have to fill out an awful lot of paperwork if she did that, after all.

07. What’s their relationship with their mom like? How did it change?

When she was kid, she understood her mom wasn't around because of Work. Very important Work. She also understood that Work was the reason why her mom would constantly get up to take phone calls in the middle of dinner, or when they were sitting and talking together, and sometimes those phone calls would make her mom leave right after, even if she just got home.

She didn't understand why all of that bothered her though, just that it hurt for some reason and it sometimes made her cry later in her room. And eventually, after years of it, she started calling every nanny that stuck around for long enough her 'mom' instead, then begged them not to leave her too.

When she was a teenager, she stopped crying and started yelling. Started pushing back. Started avoiding home every time she'd walk up her street after school to see the lights on and the car in the driveway. She'd spend the night a friend's house instead, rather than endure another evening of emotional whiplash and half-hearted interest in her life and the constant reminders that Rebecca would rather take a work call in the other room than spend time with her or listen to her.

Because those calls were more important than her and anything she had to offer.

She frequently wondered why Rebecca even bothered to have a kid, then always rationalized that her dad must have talked Rebecca into it because there was just no way otherwise. And quietly, that gave her a small amount of comfort. Because if he managed to pull off that amazing feat, then he must have also really wanted her and loved her before he died.

Right?

As an adult, she no longer wonders about any of that. No longer cries. No longer gets angry. And she already knows what the answer would be if she straight up asked Rebecca 'Would you change anything, if you had the opportunity to go back and do it all over?'

She's firmly accepted that she never mattered to Rebecca, not the way the job did, and that she never will.

A one time stint with rule breaking doesn't change anything about that.

And it doesn't even hurt much, accepting that truth, as long as nobody pokes at it too hard and she doesn't think about it very deeply and Rebecca doesn't try to push any of those performative 'loving mom' displays of affection on her.

08. Who is their Love Interest and why?

Mason.

Because someone needs to put that asshole in his place. If he's gonna fuck with her, then she's gonna fuck with him right back. And if he's gonna fuck with her then, um… w-well, she's still gonna fuck with him right back!

He can have pleasure with her if he wants, but he is not getting it from seeing her back down.

That said, she does genuinely like the bastard, if a little begrudgingly. Thinks he's fun. Cute. Cares about his well-being too. Wants him to be comfortable and happy. Worries often that he probably isn't, considering how hard it must be to live with such painfully heightened senses.

And after Bobby, Mason feels safe. Comforting, in a weird way. She knows and accepts that the only thing he wants from her is sex, that he doesn't give a shit about her at all outside the bedroom, and that he won't ever pretend to either.

That's such a huge relief, to not be jerked around by somebody saying one thing but doing another. To have someone be brutally honest for once about what she actually means to them.

And if he ever does show any hint of affection, well, then it's probably because he's starting to see her as a part of the team. Maybe. Or he's just fucking with her again to provoke a reaction. Probably that. In which case, watch out buddy.

Two can play at that game.

09. What do they think of the supernatural?

Really interested in figuring out how all of it works, more than anything. It's magic, but there still has to be some kind of underlying set of rules and a logic to it all, right? She's definitely asked Nate to get her a baby's first book of vampire basics too.

At the same time, however, her enthusiasm for it all remains somewhat dampened.

She knows there's another Murphy out there coming for her eventually. It's just a matter of time. And until he shows up, she has to assume that every new supernatural she encounters is him.

Maybe that's unfair, but so was the target Murphy carved across her back.

10. How well did they handle the reveal that the supernatural exists?

Well, she already knew Unit Bravo were a bunch of shady-ass weirdos hiding obvious secrets, but… vampires? Not exactly in her top one hundred guesses for what one of those secret might've been.

Still, whatever. Didn't phase her. If she believes alien life definitely exists somewhere, then why should vampires be that impossible? Especially when she witnessed evidence of their abilities firsthand.

Oh, and since Felix was being such a little shit in the hospital room trying to scare her about it, she demanded even more evidence from him. Asked him to come closer to her bed again. Closer. Even closer. Then she put her face right by his and told him to prove it, and gestured for him to show his fangs.

Once he did, obviously, she did her best to look as bored as possible while she tilted his face between her hands to examine them. Gave him a glib little thanks afterward, for showing her his 'vampire teeth.'

And added that they were a lot smaller than she expected.

11. Do they have any tattoos/piercings?

Just the standard single-hole piercings through each earlobe.

She mostly wears tiny studs. Geometric shapes. Stuff that can't be grabbed and pulled during a fight.

12. What is their highest (professional) stat and why?

Combat (70%)

Guess that kinda happens when exercise is her primary mode of stress relief, and her favorite way to exercise for almost half of her life now has been to train in some form of martial art.

Rebecca is the one who encouraged it, too. Signed her up for lessons and said that if she was gonna fight, then she better damn well make sure she's the one standing at the end next time.

13. What’s their opinion of the Mayor?

Who, Mayor Fartman? She has definitely never slipped that into a conversation while talking to him and pretended she didn't afterwards.

Nothing but respect for her mayor.

14. Do they get along with Tina and Verda?

Absolutely.

She's not as close to Verda as she is with Tina, but she really appreciates his sense of humor and his overall chill, caring vibe. He's a good dude. And she loves asking him questions about his work too. Even better when those questions spiral into long, scientific bullshit sessions that leave them both grinning at the end like the huge fucking nerds they are.

And Tina, well…

After she returned to Wayhaven, Tina was the one who got her back on her feet. Pulled her out of one of the worst places she's ever been emotionally. Kept her marching forward until she could stand on her own again. And did all of that for her, someone still practically a stranger to Tina at that point, without ever asking for anything in return, other than for her to start being a little kinder to herself about everything.

Tina's an amazing person. Her best friend. She loves her. Trusts her completely.

And is totally fuckin' ride or die for her.

15. What do they think of Unit Bravo? How has that changed throughout the story?

Once all the secretive bullshit and obvious lying stopped, she was fine with them as a group. Overall, thinks they're good people. Likable, even. Fun. And they're using their time and effort to help others, and that's something she greatly admires.

But she doesn't feel like part of their team. Their family. Doesn't see herself as anything more than a temporary stop for them on the way to wherever they're headed next.

Not because of anything they've done, just… she knows probability. Wrote her thesis on it.

And after Murphy, the blood—her blood—she doesn't give herself great odds for reaching thirty.

In the meantime, though:

Adam

Well, first off, he deserved to get shot. She fucking warned him. And what kind of asshole tries to dismiss someone pointing a firearm at them as a bluff?! Secondly, the sheer audacity of this man! Who the hell does he think he is?! Thirdly, he needs to chill the fuck out. Or she's gonna drop a goddamn ice cube down the back of his shirt. Fourth, okay—admittedly, that combined take down of Murphy was pretty cool. They at least work well together in a fight. Fifth, well…

Shit.

She actually, really, kind of… respects him. Gets him a little, too. Understands him, in a strange way she can't explain.

Maybe it's because they're both far more alike than either one of them would ever care to admit.

Even so, he still needs to get knocked on his ass every once and a while. To keep him humble. And she absolutely can't wait for the day she finally does it when they spar.

Nate

Nate has always been great. Considerate. Welcoming. Warm. Thoughtful. A whole host of other wonderful adjectives that would definitely make the world a better place if more people aspired to embody them the way he does.

Yet… whenever Nate aims any of that kindness her direction, it unnerves her. Probably as much as her tattered relationship with Rebecca unnerves him.

She believes he's genuine about his comments and compliments, even as she swerves around them. They're just… hard to hear. She doesn't know what to do with any of them. Or understand why he's giving them to her in the first place.

They barely know each other, so how can he say stuff like that? Especially so easily?

Felix

She's real glad that unsolicited, near-kiss of his turned out to be a fluke—because it would have sucked to miss out on a fellow troll who can match her beat for sarcastic beat.

Felix is more her speed, so to speak. She appreciates his approach, the heart wrapped in levity and laced with a bit of shit-stirring. The playfulness. The excitement. Though, sometimes the sheer chaotic energy fueling it all can be a bit overwhelming, even for her.

Still, his fumes are infectious, and she can already tell they're gonna be terrible enablers for each other.

Mason

Unsurprisingly, she likes him much better now that his jerk dial is turned to 'playful teasing' rather than 'unwarranted hostility,' though she's still not quite sure what changed to make that happen. Not sure how long it will last either, any of it. Either way, she has no expectations of him and their non-relationship, no secret hopes for feelings or a future.

She's just enjoying the banter, the amazing sex, and the fun moments as they come with him, until they don't come any more.

Pun completely intended.

16. Do they have any pets?

Do houseplants count? If so, she has an amazing kentia palm.

17. What are their hobbies?

Sparring, running, and weight training, primarily.

Yes, that probably makes her a total douchebag bro. And no, she doesn't skip leg day.

She also likes reading, knitting, gardening, feeding the neighborhood birds, playing strategy games, doing logic and word puzzles, examining systems of any kind to figure out how they work, and spending time outdoors enjoying all the gorgeous mountain scenery, lush wilderness, and dank weed BC has to offer.

So, you know, a well-rounded douchebag at least.

18. What do they think of Douglas?

She knows how much it fucking sucks and hurts to have a parent who obviously loves their job way more than their kid. She also remembers how annoying she was as a teenager. That said, those bits of sympathy and understanding are really the only things standing between her and complete exasperation with him.

Still, it's probably only a matter of time before she switches his phone language from English to something non-Romance, probably Arabic. Something that would be really difficult for him to switch back anyway.

And if that doesn't work, well, then the entire station is gonna bear witness to whether or not their paper shredder has enough muscle to chew through a cell phone.

19. What does their apartment look like?

Minimalist. White walls. Warm woods and leather. Clean lines with pops of color from textiles, house plants, and cut flowers. Not a lot of clutter or material possessions.

Very tidy, too. Bed always made. Dishes washed after use. Baseboards, corners, and door frames dust free.

Of course, the building she lives in is pretty old, so all of that sleek, immaculate minimalism is wrapped around some hideously dated interior design. Hello, puke green shower tile and baby pink countertops.

20. What is their personality?

Overall, pretty chill and content to live and let live, for the most part. Unless someone's being an asshole or a bully. In which case, she's very inclined to get up in their face about it, even if she has to stand on her toes to do so.

Once she does that, good luck. She's fucking tenacious. And stubborn as shit too, so she won't be the one backing down.

She would prefer to keep things relaxed, though. Playful. She likes banter. Sarcasm. Teasing and being teased. Laughing and making laugh. And she absolutely loves deploying and receiving truly awful puns, the more eye-watering and cringe-inducing, the better.

The humor is enjoyable enough on its own, but it also lets her be friendly while still keeping a buffer of emotional distance.

Because holy shit is she guarded.

It takes her a very, very, very long time to feel comfortable opening up to people. Or to let herself feel anything deeper for them beyond detached affection. Or to reach out and ask for help, even when she desperately needs it.

She's far more accustomed to being on her own, looking out for herself. And, luckily, she's resourceful and competent enough to make that work, most of the time. It helps having highly analytical mind geared toward problem solving.

Well, it helps when she's not using that mind to construct defensive rationalizations to keep people out. And when that mind isn't busy encouraging her curiosity to pry into things and people to figure out how they work.

Terrible habit, her nosiness. The probing. The eavesdropping. The occasional snooping. Just the worst, really, especially from someone so reluctant to share anything deep about herself.

Like the fact, beneath everything else, she just feels completely alone and about to drown in unending sadness.

But, hey, that stuff down there doesn't matter.

It really doesn't.

21. Their favourite/comfort food?

Fish empanadas with pebre. Ate a lot of those when she studied abroad in Chile, and that was probably the happiest year of her life.

She still makes pebre all the time, but the empanadas are actually something she would break her vegetarianism to eat again, if she ever got the chance.

22. Do they go to the bar or stay at the station?

Stayed in. Not a big fan of bars anymore.

23. Their gender/sexuality?

Cis woman. And, well… straight?

Not a whole lot of sexual experience to draw from there. And it's a bit late to figure out whether she likes girls or just thinking about girls, right? That's the kind of thing she was supposed to have sorted before she turned twenty-five, not let sit until she's almost thirty and finally ready to see people again and then expect some poor woman to hand-hold her awkward ass through it, all while she shies away from making any real, intimate connection, partially because the thought of ever making herself that emotionally vulnerable again makes her want to throw up in fear, but mostly because it would be incredibly unfair to date someone with the mountain of secrets she has to now keep and also when it seems like her goddamn life expectancy is a just big fucking question mark these days.

So, yes. Straight.

Sure.

24. How did they handle the fight with Murphy? Did they get bitten?

She jammed that DMB syringe right into that fucker's neck with one hand, while her other pressed against her own neck to stop the bleeding.

Then she kicked him a few times after he was down. Hissed curses at him while she asked him who was making idle threats now, motherfucker.

25. What do they usually wear? Has that changed?

Usually something form-fitting, flattering, and fairly subdued and minimalist in color and pattern. High-waisted jeans. High-necked blouses, sweaters, and soft, stylish t-shirts. Lacey crop tops and a gambler hat in the summer. Boots, slightly heeled and slightly pointed, all year round. Maybe some rings and a metal cuff if she's feeling fancy. Sunglasses if it's bright. All of it paired with either a black denim jacket, a black leather jacket, or long black trench coat that swooshes when she walks.

Overall, she definitely channels that cowboy witch vibe.

[makeste]

killing is not so easy as the innocent believe

or, some follow-up thoughts on Hawks, and chapter 265.

you guys this chapter has got people in some kind of way though. myself included lol.

it’s never a good thing when I get an ask like this on a Wednesday. and SURE ENOUGH, lmao. hang in there anon we’re in this together.

I love how all three of these asks seem to be implying that Hawks is basically toast. death certificate all but signed and notarized. which is reasonable to be fair!

regarding Machia though, after giving it some thought, the fact that he was mentioned when he didn’t have to be leads me to believe that Fatgum is correct, and he will not be making an appearance. it’s possible this is just the manga attempting to catch us off guard, but if Horikoshi wanted to do that, he could have just as easily bided his time and made no mention of him at all until he suddenly came barging out of his hidden basement room at an inopportune moment. going out of his way to say “hey remember Gigantomachia? yes well he is in sleep mode at the moment so not to worry” is kind of a waste of time unless it really is true. could be wrong on this though!

regarding the voice recorder/communication/mystery device thing, I now have a brand new ridiculous theory on that thanks to a chat with @blessedgirthma​, but more on that shortly. 

now then, let’s talk a bit more (or, to be honest, a lot more) about Hawks.

lol y’all I am being called out. but in seriousness, this is honestly one of my favorite things about doing the recaps though. the fact that my reactions are recorded for posterity for better or worse. the thing is, when I’m actually reading the chapter for the first time, it’s a complete rollercoaster lol. it’s just whiplash reactions to stuff (which is why 90% of it is dumb jokes because that is my honest instinctive reaction to 90% of everything) and speculating wildly on the spot. and a lot of times it is way off.

one of the things that particularly impressed me about this latest chapter is the fact that Horikoshi was genuinely able to manipulate my emotions so effectively and make me so anxious about the fates of both of these characters in the heat of the moment. not every writer can do that! in fact it’s pretty rare for a shounen manga in particular to actually get me to really start doubting and wondering whether a character is actually going to die. because let’s be real guys, it’s a rarity. especially with this particular series. and even when people do die, they come back as OFA ghosts, or they’re brought back to life as Kurogiri, or they never died to begin with and they’re currently trying to kill Hawks, etc. so on top of the shounen manga tropes, we also have comic book “no one is ever truly dead” tropes. so yeah.

so the point I’m leading up to here is that I don’t think Hawks is actually going to die. I know it’s ridiculous; I know he was just set on fire and isn’t looking too hot (ha) right now, but again. it’s a shounen manga. other characters have survived (1) breaking their arms a dozen times, (2) having holes of all shapes and sizes pierced through their lungs, (3) everything All Might and AFO did to each other at Kamino jesus christ, (4) having their entrails spilled out, (5) being crushed by a water tower, (6) pissing Todoroki off during the climax of Heroes Rising, (6) being blown up from the inside out by a quirk, and (7) having their eye sliced open and being blasted through a building and falling fifty feet from the sky onto the hood of a car while on fire. and this is far from an exhaustive list. this is an off-the-top-of-my-head list. yeah. so neither Hawks nor Twice is actually dying if this is anything to go by.

now then. I said I was going to talk about Hawks, so let’s talk. first off, I just want to make it clear that I’m not part of the pro-Hawks faction, or the pro-Villains faction, or whatever. I’m in neither of those factions, or both of them. or whatever you want to call it. basically I love Twice and I love Dabi and I love Hawks. and recent events have not changed this at all, except perhaps to make me love them even more. but anyway, just wanted to put that on the record. and yes, I told Dabi to set Hawks on fire, and I would say it again too, because Dabi setting Hawks on fire potentially saved both Hawks and Twice, so yeah. homicidal though it may have been, it was good timing all the same, Dabi.

so Hawks! let’s talk about what actually happened in this chapter. “um Hawks tried to kill Twice, is what happened.” well, not quite! what actually happened is that Hawks said he was going to kill Twice. and then... he didn’t.

lol, yeah. eyeroll-inducing technicality there, I know. wishful thinking, naive, willfully disregarding what we actually saw in favor of trying to support my own interpretation of the character. absolutely that’s what it is! but since we all acknowledge that, might as well continue down this line of thinking and see where it leads. so indulge me if you will.

so. three things:

(1) Hawks is a spy. he lies. he lies all the time. when Horikoshi wants us to know what he’s actually thinking, he shows us.

so naturally the reason I bring this up is just to point out the fact that throughout all of chapters 263, 264, and 265, we have not actually seen a single one of Hawks’s thoughts (assuming Caleb is correct in his translation of 264). he’s making speeches, he’s trying to plead his case to Jin, and we see a ton of Jin’s thoughts. but none of Hawks’s. not so much as an ‘I was afraid of this...’ or ‘his quirk is too dangerous, I can’t let a single one of the clones slip through’ or any of your typical run-of-the-mill fight narration we might normally expect to see for a scene like this. there’s nothing. and what this tells me is that Hawks’s words may not in fact line up with what he’s actually thinking.

(2) Hawks is hesitating. we know how fast he is. hell, even if we didn’t, this chapter would be all the evidence we need. but we do in fact have plenty of other evidence.

these things are deadly. each one is solid and we’ve seen he’s capable of using them like bladed weapons. if he wanted to, he could stab Twice through the heart in the blink of an eye. look at the precision he used to tear his mask open (to distinguish the real Twice from the clones) without actually harming him. he wouldn’t even have to move. but he is deliberately holding back and trying to stop Twice in other ways -- by pleading with him (“I don’t want to fight you”), hitting him with a disabling blow, and finally by pinning him down and trying to intimidate him.

but then he just sits there.

saying he has no choice. holding the feather knife above him. but he doesn’t actually do it. and okay, maybe it’s because he truly is fond of Twice, as we know, and so he’s giving him the chance to say his last words or something. but what was it he said just a few pages before this one, though? “we eliminate villains with haste”? I don’t know about you, but I for one sure wasn’t seeing any haste in those last few pages. the man who goes too fast, huh. I’m just saying.

but maybe he was just psyching himself up to do it. maybe he would have gone through with it on the very next page if Dabi hadn’t intervened. maybe. but you know what though? that hesitance -- the fact that he was so conflicted despite supposedly believing that he’s doing the right thing, and despite being groomed by the shadier elements of hero society since childhood to make this precisely kind of decision -- to me, that does indicate that Hawks is not a killer by nature. he’s battling with himself right now. he’s desperate. he doesn’t want to go through with it; he resists the act; and then crucially, right at the decisive moment, Horikoshi prevents us from seeing whether or not he actually would have done it.

(3) and what about that? it’s interesting that this question is one which has come up over and over ever since the disappearance of Best Jeanist, isn’t it? the question of just how far Hawks is actually willing to go. the question of whether or not, when push comes to shove, he will make the cutthroat decision. will Hawks kill for the greater good? Horikoshi poses this question again and again, and yet he still refuses to give us an actual answer.

(oh hey, that’s a nice flashback you’re having. sure would be a shame if it were to... cut off right there so that we never find out what actually happened past this point!!)

(“whether this is really him” -- really?? you actually go and show what is by all accounts and appearances Jeanist’s actual dead body stuffed in a bag, and yet you still cast doubt on it? why? at this point you’re just fucking with us. and also, actually, the fact that it’s a dead body is not, in fact, proof that he killed someone, because morgues exist. and appearance-altering quirks. and clones. and all sorts of other conspiracy-theory-fueling shit. so yeah.)

isn’t that strange? well no, actually, it’s not strange at all, because you only need to take one glance at the fandom (or my own indecisive recaps) to see that this refusal to confirm this one crucial fact about Hawks’s nature is having precisely its intended effect. when you write a story, you want the readers to care. you want them to be invested in what’s happening. you want to keep them in suspense. and so in Hawks’s case, the fact that we just don’t know for sure makes him an insanely compelling character to watch, because will he actually do it?? will he kill Twice?? is he a killer??

and still we don’t know. even now, Horikoshi refuses to lift the veil for certain. and all I have to say about that is this: maybe he is. but if he is, if the answer to this lingering and drawn-out mystery ultimately turns out to be a simple “yes”, then that would be a bit anticlimactic to say the least.

so those are my thoughts! oh, except that I did say I was going to talk about this thing though:

so we don’t know what this is, or why Hawks pulled it out at such a strange moment. I’ve read a few theories, but I have to give @blessedgirthma​ credit because this one is my new favorite omfg:

like. guys. guys. I know it’s absurd and it’s not going to happen lol. but can you just imagine, though. Dabi’s standing there with the crazy eyes, talking about how heroes are all scum, and how he never trusted Hawks, and the fact that Hawks was even willing to kill a fellow hero to gain their trust only to betray them is yet more proof of how hypocritical and disgusting these so-called heroes are. and then, just as he’s about to deal the final blow, HIS OWN CLOTHES TURN ON HIM and he’s all “?!” and IN BURSTS BEST FUCKING JEANIST oh snap, whaaat, HE LIVED, BITCH.

don’t look at me like that. let me have this. all I’m saying is it could happen.

so that’s it! those are all my current thoughts about Hawks and about this contentious chapter which is tearing fandoms and loved ones apart. in my perfect world Hawks lives and Twice lives and Best Jeanist lives and Dabi lives but gets captured maybe so as to have Endeavor angst along with some fucking flashbacks at goddamn last. as of today March 22nd 2020 all of these are still possible outcomes, so I’m gonna embrace it.

and lastly, getting back to the real mystery of this chapter,

WE CAN ONLY HOPE.

[marixpedition]

5 Risks That Gave 2019 a 180-Degree Turn

It is almost the end of the year, and here we are trying to look back at what basically happened in the year that is yet to end. I am guessing that it will either be a trip down to memory lane or a flashback of regrets. It is undeniable that we are all rooting for the former though.

2019 embodies a different personality for every person. I have scrolled through Instagram looking at people’s 2019 stories - travel, success, milestones, relationships, reconciliation, breakups, enlightenment, coffee, and more coffee. Some would say it is a year to be thankful for; some would say it is something they have to let go of. I am thinking each year boils down into two options: make or break. 

I have known people who got married this year, had their first child, graduated from college or graduate school, got back with their ex, traveled a lot this year, just got promoted at work. Others I have known of lost a family member, ended a long time relationship, got cheated on, lost an opportunity they have been waiting for so long, was rejected by a person they liked so much or friendzoned, had a friendship gap because of little things that got out of hand.

Disclaimer lang puu: ‘di ako nagbablind item or nangchichismis.

Each year that passes for us is a mathematical problem that just got solved or just left us even more puzzled than we were in this life. If I were to assess my 2019, I choose the latter. There are so many things this year that got me asking myself, “ What the heck was that?” or “What on Earth just happened?”

I am about to share to you 5 personal things that happened in my year and what I learned from them. These are not just 5 personal issues or drama or whatever you would call that, but they are “risks” I took this year that made me tell myself, “Damn, girl! Ano? Rebel ghorl?”

1. Pixie Cut

Christmas of 2018 was when I finally had a short haircut after 3 years of having a long hair, but 2018 was yet to be shaken. It was because I finally decided, middle of this year, to get a pixie after a year of push and pull conflict with myself. I was too excited to get my hair chopped real short that time and also nervous. Why was I nervous? SIZT! I was about to get the shortest length of haircut in my entire life (so far). Who knows I might sport myself a baldy some day? 

Do I consider it a risk? ENTIRELY. It was a huge risk because I was not fully confident that I will be able to pull it off after the magic of the salon blower expires. It turns out to be true. Reactions of the people I know were mixed. “Omg! You cut your hair? I love it!” “It suits you! How I wish I can do the same!” “What happened to your hair?!” “Why did you cut it?” “What are you doing with your life?” (Oo besh may ganun nagtanong, “Ano ginagawa mo sa buhay mo?”)

How did my family react to it? My brother - no comment. My mother - at first she was confused as to why I would cut my hair very short but she eventually accepted my decision. After months of having my pixie, she also got the same hairdo. Idol talaga ako ng nanay ko. ‘Di bale idol ko din naman siya. My father - he did not like it. He thought I looked like a “tomboy” in Filipino context. Jake Zyrus ganorn daw. Even my relatives from the province was not a fan of it especially the titas. I still love them, but I was on the verge of blaming the culture for what it has imposed on women with short hair and glorifying those with long ones. But I said to myself, WHATEVER. 

That is when it hit me. 

That is how it feels when you defy the norms without actually violating any rules. Cliché man pero EMPOWERED tayo mga mamshies. It was following my heart’s desire without compromising my faith and principles nor any relationship. It was a great leap for me - doing something new and beyond my comfort zone.

It reminded me of the day I put my life in the hands of the Lord. Many people would say it is very risky and scientifically unstable based on human calculations, but never in my entire life did I feel like I have done the right-est thing until I have surrendered everything to Him.

But why did I grow my hair again? P350 monthly haircut maintenance at Bench Fix Salon. Mahal, besh. Pulubi na ako.

2. 2nd Pair of Lobe and Helix Piercing

The second thing I will talk about is indeed RISKY. I admit that I have compromised few of my principles and relationships here. Example would be the promise to keep the body pure for it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, which means that having tattoos or cuts/wounds do not make the Lord pleased. Also, because I am an educator who is to be a role model in the academic institution, I must not have gotten a piercing that could push my students to do the same which obviously is not allowed in school.

Second best question is do I regret getting those piercings? Kind of. I am not the type of person who breaks the rules because I detest any form of hassle if it can be avoided. Now, having these piercings is so hassle when I am at work because they have to be removed then put on again at night to make sure the holes do not close.

Hassle talaga, mga besh. Wala eh. Priorities. I love my work more than my nice earrings and piercings.

Kathryn Bernardo made me get the piercings. Haaayy. I still love her though.

Do I recommend piercing? Yes, one pair only for girls. For boys, nah.

But to those who are wondering where I got them (hehe), I’ve had my first pair of lobe since I was a child. I don’t exactly remember where I got them. My second lobe piercings are from Unisilver which used an ear gun. It was more painful compared to needle piercing. My helix piercing was done by Iggy Boy Palma, a professional tattoo and piercing artist, at Whiplash Tattoo in BF Aguirre. Popular question: Which is safer and less painful? Definitely, needle piercing. I give it a 2/10 level of pain.

3. Bleaching my Hair

It was only this December that I finally decided to give my grown pixie a new look. I had the back part trimmed and gave in to the highlights club. At first, I was troubled by how it looked like after having it bleached. IT WAS SUPER LIGHT AND BRIGHT #ManokNaDilaw (yellowish orange). I got nervous because it looked bad on me, and I do not want to be called out again for another violation. So, I had the stylist layer the color with another coating which is gray.

Many people have asked how it was done. Let me share with you how simple it was. First, the stylist tied my hair in half pony tail. The loose part (untied) was the one that got bleached and colored gray. Finally, if you put the pony down, the light dye will be covered but is partially seen which is actually the idea of the style.

Was I happy about it? SUPER. I think this hairstyle is actually cool-subtle kind of rebel. It is not loud obvious, but it shows and stands out. Thank you, Pinterest.

Do I recommend it being done in a salon? Yes! Less hassle, and the stylists know better. However, if you have been coloring your own hair for years now, I guess you could do a DIY not to mention that it will be cheaper.

4. Getting Darker

What is wrong with being dark? NOTHING. But is there something wrong? Yes, many in this country believe that those who are fairer look better. Am I angry? No, but I am sad. Ganda ko kaya, char.

This year, I was blessed to have visited Boracay with my church friend. Despite it being crowded, it was a real paradise (Kala ko nga nasa abroad ako eh puro foreigners legit). The white sand was so fine just like flour. During the trip, I did bring with me sunscreen but not to make myself not get dark but to avoid sunburn. Yes. I was super ready to dive into the sea and just get all that rays on sunshine on my skin. When going on a beach trip, getting a tan is a must. I think tan looks pretty. To cut the long story short, I got darker intentionally lol.

Why is this a risk? I believe I have never been as dark as that in the past four years. After some time, our family went to our province in Quezon. Many of our relatives were like, “Ang itim mo!” “You got dark!” (Ano pa po? Keep it coming!) Well, it’s true, but what is saddening is the facial expressions that accompanied their remarks. Am I mad? Of course, not! It is a risk I do not regret at all. I do not mind getting dark as long as I get dark while on a beach trip and not here in Manila heat.

5. A New Work Responsibility

Now is some serious talk. (Kabado me sa part na ituu) What has changed this academic year for me? First, I got new additional tasks that are more challenging. Second, I am advising both students and teachers already. Third, I’m doing OTs again.

What exactly is this that I am talking about? It’s hard to explain, but let me put it this way. I used to be just an extra in a scene. Now, I am a some sort of a minor character who is tasked to help the protagonist achieve the goal and slay the enemies.

Am I happy about the opportunity? BIG YES. Is it mostly fun doing the job? No (nako nako talaga). There are more emotional heartbreaks, mental breakdowns, and sleepless nights. I have learned things in a not so easy way like how words could mean differently to the company and to the customer and how honest and transparent I must be to our clients. There were moments when I think I knew better, and it was so difficult to submit to authority. In those times, I was able to prove again that only God will remain consistent by my side. He is my constant help and supporter who encouraged me to choose what is right rather than what is convenient.

Did this opportunity put me in a better situation? Triple yes. I admit that the journey is an uphil climb. There is absolutely zero shortcuts (hirap kung hirap mga kapatid). However, God surrounded me with people who helped me mature, be graceful under pressure, control my emotions, laugh despite the hurt, and clearly see the beauty of being a teacher.

To end this post, I would like to just praise the God Almighty for His faithfulness in our lives. Getting through the 365 days is no joke. There were nights I thought of not going to work the next day because I had so many doubts and insecurities. Fortunately, I have only had one absence because I was sick. It was an ironman race to finish 2019. There were several curves and confusing directions which stressed me so much. Even though it was exhausting and tempting to give up, God pushed me to not stop moving until the end of the race (which of course I have not reached yet).

My 2019 is not as extravagant or controversially interesting as others’, but what I can say is that in those motivating experiences that happened in my year, I have earned a bigger faith in Him.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

v. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

v.7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

[ohprettyweeper-moved]

A Summer Story

Age 16

Pairing: Tyler x Kansas Word Count: 1815 Warnings: None? Challenge: Kansas’s YouAU Writing Challenge Tags: @takenvysleep @breadbinishigh @svintsandghosts @xtina2191

After that year, I didn’t go back to camp. Not for a lack of wanting to, but it seemed to just not work out. Red went the next couple of years, and when she came back, informed me that Tyler had not attended again, either. He and I chatted every now and then on instant messenger, but when AIM’s popularity faded away, so did our conversations. MySpace became the big contender, and Tyler and I followed each other, but we weren’t in each other’s Top 8 or anything.

“What are we gonna do for your birthday this year?” Red asked one Wednesday night after youth group.

I shrugged. I was switching to a new school for my junior year, my parents were on the brink of divorce, and I wasn’t feeling very celebratory in general. I kicked at the sidewalk and crossed my arms over my chest. Her parents were coming to pick us up at anytime, and I just wasn’t in the mood to make plans for something that would likely be ruined by my disintegrating family unit.

“Don’t worry,” Red said, squeezing my hand. “We’ll get you out of the house and do something really fun.”

I didn’t say anything. Most days were good. Most days I didn’t feel like things were falling apart, even though they were. I toughed it out and looked forward to celebrations and tried to keep my head up, but some days were harder than others. The fight I’d had with my mother before youth group that night had made today a hard day.

At family dinner the following Sunday, Red was grinning wide when I arrived. She pulled me to the downstairs living area where we usually hid out and clapped her hands in excitement.

“I found something for us to do for your birthday! There’s gonna be a killer show at Ground Zero. My mom said her or my dad will drive us, and take us for food beforehand. And you can stay with me, the whole weekend, if you want. Oh, and you’re gonna love the present I got you.”

With a sigh, and still not sure that I was up to a big celebration, I joined her in her excitement. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

.&.

Friday was a really long day, but Red and I made the most of it. It was the last Friday before school started, so we spent most of the day at the pool. When the sun was too much for Red’s fair skin, we walked back to her house and showered, then got ready for the show that night. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way, had our fair share of tacos and Mountain Dew, then my uncle dropped us off at Ground Zero.

“You girls be careful!” he called as we hurried out of the car.

Red and I waved our agreement. The guy at the front took our cover charge, and we went into the show. One of our favorite bands, one made up of guys from our youth group, was playing tonight, but I wasn’t sure who else was on the roster.

I chewed hard on my bottom lip as I looked around for one of the guys from the youth group band. I had a major crush on him, and wondered if that wasn’t what Red had in mind when she planned this. When I spotted him across the main room, I nudged her with my elbow.

“Is that my birthday present or something?” I joked.

Red chuckled. “No, I think what I’ve got in mind is better, actually. Just wait for it.”

I kept my glances at the boy across the room to a minimum, so Red wouldn’t be put out that I wasn’t looking forward to her present, or that I wasn’t really taking in the night and appreciating her efforts -- I appreciated them more than I could say. We were waiting for that first group to go on when someone yelled from across the room.

“Hey, Kansas!”

Frowning, I turned to figure out who was calling my name. When I saw him coming from the back of the room, my eyes went wide and my jaw dropped nearly to the floor.

“Tyler?”

I looked at Red to see if she was seeing what I was seeing, or if I had gone nuts. Red just grinned and said, “Happy birthday!”

I hugged her tight before running towards Tyler. You would think being young and not seeing each other for four years would have made the reunion awkward, but, surprisingly, it wasn’t. I was only excited to see him, and if his hug told me anything, Tyler was excited to see me, too.

“Nice bracelet,” he commented, turning the beaded bracelet he had given me at camp around my wrist.

“Oh, yeah,” I blushed, “I wear it a lot still. It is my favorite colors, after all. What are you doing here?”

Tyler gestured to a boy with a piercing and dark hair leaning against the back wall. “That’s Josh, a friend of mine from Ohio. We’re a band, just a two man deal, but lots of energy, if I do say so myself. Red told me things have been rough for you and that your birthday was coming up, and we worked out a show here.”

I couldn’t help it. I hugged him again, even tighter. “Thank you.”

Tyler’s hands joined behind my back. “You’re welcome.”

.&.

Tyler was right -- the energy he and Josh had on that stage, even with just two of them, was insane. After the last note sounded, I wanted them to start all over again from the beginning. It was like … magic.

“You’re pumping my ego,” Tyler laughed when I told him that later. With our friends in town, Red had been able to finagle her parents’ extra car for the night. We went for more junk food, then parked back at Ground Zero. Josh and Red seemed to be hitting it off, so Tyler and I just sat on the hood of her car while they walked around the venue grounds and talked.

“No, really,” I said, leaning back against the windshield of the car, “that was really amazing. You’ve got talent, dude.”

Tyler smiled and nudged me with his shoulder. “Thanks. What about you? What’s the big dream?”

Taking in a deep breath, I pointed to the storm clouds way out on the horizon. Cloud-to-cloud lightning flashed, and the faint rumble of thunder followed several seconds later.

“That’s the dream. I love storms, you know? It’s chaos, the good kind. I wanna chase after them and analyze the data and know everything about them.”

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Tyler said, putting one hand behind his head.

I folded my hands over my stomach and stared at those storm clouds. I couldn’t wait to be driving fast, rain hitting the windows, wind rocking the car. One day, my mind told me, one day.

“So, Red also said that you had a thing for the one of the guys from the other band?” Tyler piped up.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands and sat up, leaning forward on my knees. “I can’t believe she told you that! I’m gonna kill her!”

Tyler sat up, too, nudging me with his shoulder again. “C’mon, Kansas. We’re sixteen, it’s perfectly normal.”

I dropped my hands and blew out a tense breath. “Yeah, but it would probably be more normal in this case if he actually knew who I was, besides some girl from youth group. It’s a mess, really. I could have chosen better.”

“You can’t help what you feel.”

For some reason, my mind went back to swim night at camp four years ago, when I had felt so jealous over Tyler hanging around Molly and Claire.

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“So what are you waiting for? You should go talk to him. You never know, ya know?”

I considered his encouragement. “Yeah, that’s true. But besides not knowing me, he’s got a girlfriend. So there’s that.”

“Ah, the catch,” Tyler laughed. “I understand now I didn’t get the whole story.”

“Yeah. But it’s all right. It is what it is. I’m kind of a mess anyway.” I set one elbow on my knee, and set my chin on my hand. “Too many things are changing at once. It sucks.”

Tyler put his arm around me and hugged me to his side. “Yeah, Red told me. I said that already. But she did. You’re gonna be fine, Kansas. A couple more years, you’ll be out there, chasing storms and tornadoes, and nothing here will matter anymore.”

“Except for maybe tonight,” I sighed. “I wasn’t looking forward to this birthday, but it’s turned out pretty great. Thanks for coming down. It’s been a while, but I was really glad to see you.”

“Me too,” Tyler agreed. “You know, I had a big crush on you that summer at camp. You were the coolest girl there.”

“Shut up! You’re such a liar.”

“I’m not,” Tyler laughed. “I felt really bad that you were upset about Molly that night. That’s why I made you the bracelet. I wanted to tell you when I gave you that bracelet, but I chickened out.”

I smiled, big and with nothing in mind but Tyler. “Well, at least you told me now. I had a crush on you, too. Which you probably knew because of the whole Molly thing, but since you said it …”

Tyler nodded. “Thanks.”

I nodded too, and laid back against the windshield again, and Tyler followed suit. Another whisper of thunder sounded. I wanted something to happen, even if I wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe my twelve-year-old crush and my life and everything else was coming together to give me the guts to take the conversation where it went next.

“Wanna know a secret?” I offered.

“Sure.”

“I’ve never been kissed.”

Tyler’s brow raised. “Really?”

I shrugged. “Really. The opportunity never presented itself, I suppose. I’m a sappy girl, Ty. I wanted it to be special, not some random thing.”

Tyler propped himself up on one elbow. “What about tonight?”

“What about tonight?” I frowned.

“Is tonight special?”

My head snapped around so fast, I was probably lucky I didn’t get whiplash. I tried to answer, but I wasn’t even sure he was really saying what I thought he was saying. One hand came up to touch my cheek; I could feel how shaky he was. Tyler was just as nervous as I was. I realized he was waiting for me to answer, so I did my best to give a confident nod.

When Tyler’s lips met mine, my messy life made sense again. Or maybe I didn’t care as much that it didn’t make sense. Tyler was my first kiss, and everything about it was absolutely perfect.

[xkurzel]

Off-Limits (2/3)

Word Count: 3,706

Characters: Jake Puckerman, Brittany S. Pierce

Summary: Despite three separate instances of three different glee club members telling him not to go there, Jake Puckerman ends up going there and somehow finds himself crushing on the totally off-limits Brittany S. Pierce.

Notes: You can absolutely thank @brittanacedes​ for sending me this picture and making this extend into now three parts because I absolutely had to write it in.

Read on Ao3: [2] [1] | Read on FF.Net: [2] [1] | Read on Tumblr: [2] [1]

“As promised.”

Jake shuts his locker and standing there is Brittany, her hand outstretched and holding his leather jacket out to him.

“Thanks.” Jake lets out a sigh of relief and reaches for it but Brittany tugs it out of his reach. He glances back to Brittany and she’s got an eyebrow arched.

“On one condition.”

Jake cocks his head. “But... it’s my jacket.”

“You have to promise,” Brittany continues, ignoring him, “that you’ll stop skipping class.”

“Why do you care?” Jake blurts out almost out of instinct, wincing internally at the bite that comes across.

“Teachers really care about that stuff,” Brittany explains patiently, looking none too fussed at Jake’s tone, “Trust me, I know. You don’t want to inconveniently find out just days away from graduation that attendance actually matters in order to pass.”

Jake’s knee-jerk reaction to any type of authority or demand is usually to bristle at the suggestion and maybe knock over a few things. And he feels his shoulders start to straighten and he’s about to do just that when he makes the mistake of looking right into Brittany’s eyes.

Brittany has a smile on her face with an eyebrow raised expectantly, but she’s looking at him earnestly, sincerity clear in those blue eyes, and Jake’s stopped in his tracks because she’s looking at him like... she actually does care.

It’s a weird, unfamiliar feeling that catches him off guard which is why he instead says—

“Sure. I promise.”

Brittany brightens, her smile widening. “Awesome! Good deed of the day done. Here you go, younger Puckerman.” She extends the jacket back towards him.

Jake shakes his head a little to clear his thoughts and takes his jacket from her with a grateful smile. “You know, I have a name. A full one. Jake Puckerman. In case you didn’t know.”

Brittany taps a finger to her chin in deliberation. “Well, Jake Puckerman is shorter to say than younger Puckerman.”

Jake shrugs on his jacket with a chuckle. “How about just Jake?”

Brittany squints at him playfully, pretending to consider it with an exaggerated hum that makes Jake laugh, before nodding and grinning back at him. “Alright, Just Jake it is.”

Jake thinks to correct her but, at this point, he’s learned that it’s just better to roll with it when it comes to Brittany. “That works.”

The bell rings overhead and Brittany jumps. “Shoot, my class is all the way on the other side of the building.” Brittany steps close to Jake, reaching out and tugging at the apparently unkempt collar of his jacket, smoothing it over. “See you around, Just Jake. Stay in class!”

Jake watches her jog down the long hallway, her blonde ponytail swishing with each step, and he doesn’t move until she reaches the end of it, looking back to Jake with a smile and a wave, before disappearing around the corner completely.

He rubs at the collar of his jacket absentmindedly and makes his way to his next class.

And every class after that.

/

Jake’s lounging around in his room, attempting but failing to get through his homework, when his phone buzzes next to him.

(Half Bro): ABORT

(Half Bro): ABORT MISSION

“The hell is he talking about?” Jake mutters underneath his breath. On cue, his phone starts buzzing and a picture of him and Puck, the older Puckerman putting Jake into a headlock, lights up his screen. Jake rolls his eyes and picks up the call, shoving his phone between his shoulder and his ear, as he picks up his pencil.

“What’s with the cryptic texts, dude?” Jake says in greeting, erasing his previous answer on his notebook and scribbling down another half-heartedly.

“As your wise older brother—”

“Half brother. And dunno about the whole wise thing.”

“—it’s my duty to tell you to abort mission, bro.”

Jake scratches down another answer on his notebook. “Yeah, I still don’t know what you’re talking bout.”

“Brittany, dude! That is a total no-go!”

The phone slips from Jake’s shoulder as he sits up suddenly. Jake scrambles for the phone, picking it back up. ���What? What about her?”

Puck barks out a laugh. “Don’t play the player, my man! I saw the latest episode and I could spot that classic Puckerman leather from a mile away.”

“The latest episode?” Jake blanks before it clicks. “Wait, of Fondue for Two? You watch that?”

“Hell yeah, dude. I’m subscribed and everything. Everyone watches it. Anyway, I totally respect your game, don’t get me wrong, do your thing. But take it from me, you do not want to go there.”

Heat creeps up Jake’s neck. “It’s not like that. We’re… friends.”

And it’s true. They are kind of friends now, ever since Brittany borrowed Jake’s jacket. When Brittany passes him in the halls, she gives him a wave and a, “Hi, Just Jake,” and she’s even started sitting next to him in glee club. They also have a weird, ongoing text thread about—out of all things—motorcycle riding that Jake catches himself rereading throughout the day, chuckling at the various emojis that’s peppered all throughout the thread.

So yeah. They’re friends.

But just friends.

“Right,” Puck draws out.

Jake clears his throat. “Uh, just between bros though, why not?” Jake tries to ask nonchalantly.

“Dude, two words: Santana Lopez. You do not want to get in between those two. Not even in the fun way, either, because that shit will get you nowhere and I’m pretty sure they stopped doing that like three years ago.”

Now, Jake’s really lost. “Wait, what? Who’s Santana Lopez?”

“You serious? You really don’t know?”

Jake scoffs, picking his pencil back up and doodling on the corner of the page. “I literally just got to this school, like, a few months ago.”

“Man, you’ve got a lot to learn. Let’s just say, I’ve seen many dudes try and fail—including yours truly, if you can believe it—to try and get with Brittany or Santana and it’s just a lost cause. Those two kind of just… belong to each other.”

“Wow. That is really cheesy,” Jake chuckles.

“Shut the fuck up, dude. I’m trying to do you a solid here.”

“Relax, alright?” Jake rolls his eyes, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling while still doodling aimlessly. “I get it. I didn’t know Brittany had a girlfriend, anyways.”

“Well, ex-girlfriend. I think. I dunno. Santana graduated last year, moved away, and then dumped her a little while ago is what I heard from Tina.”

“Wait a minute, so Brittany’s single? What the hell are you telling me all this for then?”

“I thought you guys were just friends?” Puck’s smug tone comes across the line.

Jake flushes, heat creeping higher up his neck. “We are! I’m just saying.”

Puck laughs. “Alright, dude, your funeral. But consider my brotherly duties fulfilled.”

Jake rolls his eyes again. “Well, thanks for your concern, bro.”

“Anytime, man!”

Jake ends the call with a click and a sigh, chucking his phone onto his bed. Phone calls with his dumbass half-brother are always a treat, but this one in particular just really grates at him.

First Kitty, and now Puck, too? Jake doesn’t know where everyone’s getting the idea that he’s into Brittany. He’s not into her. Especially knowing there’s some history with a Santana Lopez in the mix. No, definitely not. That would make things way complicated and Jake’s not into all that drama and luggage when he’s got enough of that to go around.

“We’re friends, that’s all,” Jake mutters to himself, shaking his head. “Just friends.”

Jake nods, resolved, and turns back to his homework.

At the corner of the page, where Jake was doodling, is Brittany’s name.

He quickly scratches it out and falls onto his bed with a groan.

/

“Hey, whatever happened with your experiment?” Jake asks Brittany, shifting Brittany’s books under his arm as they walk to Brittany’s class. “You know, the food one in the hallway?”

It’s the fourth day in a row where Jake’s walked Brittany to her fifth period class that just happens to be four classes down from where Jake’s fifth period is. Not that he checked or anything. Jake just noticed Brittany walking in the same direction for fifth a couple times so now, they walk together.

He’s kinda glad he promised to stop skipping this class.

“Oh, the results were inconclusive. But totally not going to test it again. You know how it is,” Brittany says dismissively, waving a hand in the air. “What song are you going to do in glee club?”

Jake sometimes gets a little whiplash from how quickly Brittany jumps from topic to topic, but he’s getting used to it. “Uh, not sure yet. What’s the assignment again?”

Brittany stops right outside of her classroom, leaning against the doorway. Jake stops and leans against the other side of the doorway as other students mill about the hall. “I think it has something to do with pirates. I was gonna do one, but it was really hard to dance with an eyepatch on.”

Jake tries not to smile. “Britt, I think the assignment was Hidden Treasures. Like you have to pick an underrated song by a really popular artist.”

“Oh. That makes sense. What are you doing then?”

Jake shrugs, checking the clock on the wall and noticing there’s about a few minutes until class starts. “I was thinking of doing a Bruno Mars song, just not sure which one.”

The warning bell rings and students around them shuffle faster to their classes. Jake steps back a bit to let other students filter into Brittany’s classroom, then steps towards her to hand over her books.

Brittany smiles at him gratefully, swooping up her books from his outstretched arms. “Thanks.” She suddenly perks up with a gasp, grasping at his forearm. “Wait, I got it! You should totally do Talking to the Moon. It’s about werewolves, which is as underrated as it gets.”

Jake’s mouth pinches, his lips tugging up on one side. “Is it really?”

The final bell rings above them and Brittany pushes him gently backwards. “You’ll kill it, Just Jake. See you in glee!”

Jake chuckles and waves to her in goodbye, before jogging over to his classroom.

/

“Alright! Who’s up next?”

Jake clears his throat and raises up his hand. “I have one.”

He jogs down the risers and goes to stand in the center of the room, in front of the mic. He glances around at everyone, ducking his chin to his chest as he leans into the mic. “Okay, this one’s Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars.” Jake glances over to Brittany, who’s sitting in the front next to Artie, and she gives him a thumbs up.

Jake nods to the band, cueing the music, and he goes through the first verse. But as soon he’s singing, “At night, when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself…”, what Brittany said about what the song’s really about pops into his head and he can’t help but chuckle lightly, as he continues into the chorus.

“Talking to the moon,” Jake croons, shaking his head with a grin, and he makes eye contact with Brittany, who has a matching grin on her face and a knowing twinkle in her eyes. He keeps his eyes on her as he sings, “Trying to get to you,” watching her nod along to the beat, before looking away to the rest of the glee club, continuing through the rest of the song.

When he finishes, the room bursts into cheers and applause.

“Dude, that was awesome!”  

“Great job, Jake!”

“Whoo! Go, double J!” Brittany hollers, hands cupped around her mouth, giving a fist pump for good measure.

He grins bashfully, bowing slightly, before jogging back up the risers to his seat.

“Okay, who else has something they want to sing?”

/

“Dude, you know what we should team up on?” Jake points towards Artie, swallowing the bite of his sandwich he just took. “Some Frank Ocean.”

“My man!” Artie exclaims, holding his hand up. “Now, you’re speaking my language!”

Jake grins and returns his high five. The rest of the glee club is seated around the lunch table and engaged in their own side conversations.

Artie starts listing off some classic Ocean tunes, Jake nodding and shaking his head at each of the suggestions, before Tina plops down across Jake, setting down her lunch tray.

“Artie, how’d you do the homework for Mrs. Peters’ class?” Tina asks Artie, and he shoots Jake an apologetic smile before answering Tina, the two of them going on to discuss the homework in detail.

Jake feels something nudging his shoulder and he looks up to find Brittany standing there, her lunch tray in her hands. “Scoot over,” Brittany says, nodding to the side.

Jake shifts over to make some room and Brittany squeezes in next to him, her elbow softly knocking into his.

“Hey,” Jake says in greeting, a smile growing on his face.

“Hey,” Brittany greets back, her mouth quirking up slightly, before she looks up. “What’s with the beanie?”

“Oh,” Jake reaches up to touch the beanie in question, perched around his head, “The hair was getting a little wild. I need to get a haircut.”

Brittany chuckles, looking back down from the beanie into his eyes. “Cute,” Brittany says with a wink. Jake looks down, scratching the back of his neck, and clears his throat, his cheeks warming.

Brittany’s hand pops into his view and he looks back up to watch Brittany pop a fry into her mouth.

“Those are mine,” Jake notes, watching Brittany chew.

“You know, sharing is caring, Just Jake,” Brittany grabs another fry, pointing at him with it. She grins as he shakes his head and she eats the fry she just picked up before wiping the grease on her fingers on Jake’s shirt.

“Gross,” Jake wrinkles his nose as Brittany sticks her tongue out at him, crossing her eyes.

Suddenly, Brittany plucks the beanie off of his head before Jake can even scramble to keep it on. “I think you need a lesson in sharing.”

“Britt, come on,” Jake laughs and lunges for the beanie but Brittany pushes a hand flat against his chest as her other hand holds his beanie out of his reach.

“Nope,” Brittany lets the word come off her tongue with a pop, before tugging the beanie onto her head. “It’s cuter on me anyways.”

Jake groans in protest, shooting her a harmless glare as he smooths down his hair. “Only cause it’s kinda true, but I’m getting it back after glee,” Jake responds casually, picking his sandwich back up, and Brittany giggles next to him.

“Deal,” She agrees, and he glances over to her from the corner of his eye, shooting her a smile.

/

Jake’s putting away his books between classes when Artie wheels up to his locker.

“Hey, man, sorry we didn’t get to finish our talk at lunch earlier,” Jake gives him a nod in greeting, but Artie just waves him off.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’m actually here for something else. Roll with me, Puckerman,” Artie says, and Jake arches an eyebrow. He shuts his locker closed and grabs Artie’s wheelchair handles.

“Alright, where to?” Jake pushes Artie along the hallway.

“Let’s go into this classroom. I don’t think there’s a class,” Artie suggests, and Jake nods, pushing Artie into the room.

Just as Artie noted, the classroom is empty, and Jake shrugs off his backpack, tossing it onto the desk as he takes a seat on top of it.

“What’s up, dude? Kinda secretive,” Jake gestures around the empty room.

Artie smiles gently at him before wheeling a little bit closer. “Look, Jake, I just wanted to give you a heads-up. Maybe a little advice, too.”

“Uh,” Jake lets out a laugh. “About what?”

Artie levels a look at him. “I think you know.”

Jake squints back, cocking his head. “No, I really don’t. You’re gonna have to fill in the blanks here.”

Artie wheels even closer and straightens up in his seat, looking Jake directly in the eyes. “Brittany.”

Jake freezes, his eyes widening. “What?”

Artie sighs and sends him a patient smile, folding his hands in his lap. “I couldn’t help but notice you two lately and, from someone who’s been there, it’s kinda obvious you’re into her.”

Jake shakes his head fervently. “I’m not… into her.”

Artie nods, as if he was expecting that response. “Sure, if that’s what you want to tell yourself. Don’t worry, plenty of guys and girls have been in your boat. Once you get sucked into Brittany’s orbit, it’s pretty much inevitable.”

“What? I don’t…” Jake laughs breathlessly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”

Artie tugs his glasses down to give Jake a dubious look. “Be straight with me, Jake. I won’t tell anyone.”

Jake glances away, feeling warm like a spotlight’s on him, and he glances back to Artie. “Okay, so… I guess, yeah.” Jake blows out a breath. “I might… be into Brittany. But it’s only just a little.”

Artie levels him another look.

“I mean, she’s hot and a little weird but it’s cute and she’s funny, so yeah, I guess. A little. But it’s not a big deal.” Jake pauses. “Like, really.”

Artie smiles kindly, throwing his hands up in a nonchalant shrug. “Totally not a big deal,” Artie echoes.

Jake passes a hand over his face, his shoulders slumping. “Dude, I swear, I’m not usually like this. No offense, but I’m pretty sure I have way more game than someone like you, for example.”

Artie looks slightly offended but then makes a noise of agreement.

Jake continues, “And with anyone else, I probably would’ve already made a move but…”

Artie nods. “It’s Brittany,” he finishes for Jake and Jake nods slowly. “Yeah, things are definitely different when it comes to her. Like I said, it’s kinda inevitable. But, here’s something else that’s also inevitable.”

Jake picks his head up, listening intently.

“It’s never going to work.”

Jake reels back a bit, raising his eyebrows. “Harsh.”

Artie shrugs. “Harsh, but true. I was actually dating Brittany at one point and I should’ve seen it coming, but I didn’t.”

“See what coming?”

Artie leans forward. “She’s completely unavailable. Like one hundred percent off-limits.”

Jake blinks for a few seconds, eyeing Artie curiously. “Don’t tell me it’s about that ex of hers.”

Artie looks surprised. “So you’ve already been warned then.”

Jake scratches at the back of his head. “Yeah, Puck told me about a Santana in the picture. But I mean,” he shrugs, “she’s not even here and they’ve been broken up for awhile now, right? So how hung up can she be?”

Artie waves a hand around. “Doesn’t matter what they are to each other. Trust me when I say that those two are the definition of inevitable, and getting in between them just sets you up for heartbreak.”

Jake arches an eyebrow. “Experience talking?”

Artie chuckles. “The worst kind. But I learned my lesson. And now, I’m sharing it with you.” Artie wheels his chair back around, making his way to the exit. “Be a smart man. Take my advice, Jake. See you in glee!”

Jake watches him wheel away, running back through the conversation in his head and exhaling a heavy sigh.

/

Jake leans against the wall right outside the choir room, nodding in goodbye to the glee club members filtering out of the room, before he hears Brittany’s voice coming nearer.

Jake straightens up, and Artie wheels out of the choir room, shooting him a pointed look that he acknowledges with a tight-lipped smile, before Jake looks up to see Brittany chatting with Blaine as they exit the room.

Brittany catches Jake’s eyes and shoots him a quick smile before turning back to Blaine, giving him a single-armed hug and says, “See you tomorrow, Blaine Warbler!”

Blaine just shakes his head at the nickname, smiling at Jake in passing as he goes his separate way, and Brittany turns to Jake, blue eyes bright and a wide grin on her face, his beanie perched on her head.

Jake extends his hand out, eyes darting upwards with a slight smirk. “Didn’t think I’d forget about my beanie, did you?” Jake asks.

“You know, you’ve got the be the worst hostage negotiator ever,” Brittany deadpans as she tugs the beanie off of her head.

Jake just furrows his brow, giving her a questioning look with a smile on his face.

Brittany knocks his outstretched hand out of the way and steps a little closer and Jake steps back, the back of Jake’s shoes knocking against the wall behind him.

Jake holds his breath as he watches Brittany raise the beanie above his head, her blue eyes concentrating on tugging the fabric neatly onto his head and he lets her, keeping his arms to his sides. Brittany elaborates, “Because I keep kidnapping your clothes…”

Jake glances down to Brittany’s lips where she has her tongue peeking out in concentration as he lets her fiddle with placing the beanie on his head.

He watches her face, standing in place between her arms, as she gently arranges the beanie on top of his head, her hands smoothing the fabric over once it’s in place. “...and you keep letting me,” Brittany finishes and glances down to his eyes with an easy grin.

She takes a step back to evaluate her handiwork, making a face as if to say not too bad. “Still cuter on me, though,” Brittany flutters her eyelashes dramatically, and Jake breathes out a laugh.

“Want to grab a milkshake?” Jake blurts out. Brittany tilts her head at him. “You said you were craving one at lunch when you were eating my fries, because you like to dip them in a milkshake.”

Brittany blinks at him slowly, eyeing him, before she chuckles, shaking her head. “You’re being weird, Just Jake. But sure. Let’s go. I’ll drive.”

She spins on her heel, slightly skipping towards the exit, and Jake watches her take a few skips before he follows.

Fuck. He’s so screwed.

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 61... Continued

By the time we got back to Ms. Joyce’s house, I was completely worn out and ready to tap out for the day. What I craved more than anything was a nice, soft bed so I could sleep for the remainder of the day. Unfortunately, I knew I’d have to wait for that though… it was now time for us to get all cleaned up and ready for the birthday dinner we had planned for Chris. Together, Ms. Joyce and I planned the dinner and made reservations for at least twenty people at a lavish restaurant downtown.  After Chris and I parted ways in my driveway, I ventured into my own house so I could get freshened up and change into my outfit for the night. The attire for the night was semi-formal and I had the perfect outfit for the occasion that would also transition well into the remainder of the night. I figured I would wait for Destani to come over to worry about my hair and makeup and I knew that wouldn’t take long, since I planned to wear my hair in its most curly and natural state for the night. After grabbing my outfit from my closet, I laid it out on my bed and headed to my bathroom for a quick shower.  A short while later, I exited the steamy retreat and headed back into my bedroom wrapped snuggly in a towel to call Destani. She answered after a few rings and I told her I was ready for her to come over so she could help with my hair and makeup. We hung up after she let me know that she was on her way and I decided to go ahead and slip on my outfit. I pulled on a matching black lace thong and bra set first then lotioned up my entire body in a shimmer creme. I moved on to my black lace OUTFIT and decided to wait for Destani to arrive before finishing up with my gold accessories and shoes.  Nearly half an hour later, Destani finally came bustling into my room hauling a dress bag and a few smaller bags. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, her face was absolutely blank and it was at that moment that I realized she hadn’t done a single thing to herself to get ready. "Destani... what are you doing?" I asked with my hands on my hips. "What are you talking about?" She asked, rushing toward my bed to place her bags down. "Why aren't you dressed?" "Um... first of all, you look fucking amazing! And second… bitch, I was not about to come running down the damn street in a dress and some heels with a full face of makeup. I figured I would just get dressed here." She huffed. I laughed at the distraught expression on her face and shook my head "Are you doing my hair in here or the bathroom?" "The bathroom... come on. I’m seriously feeling this romper though. I see you tryna cut up for yo nigga tonight… got the cheeks all out, yes honey!” She exclaimed as she playfully tapped a hand against my bottom while I moved ahead of her. I continued to laugh aloud as I reached back to swat her hand away her and bolted into the bathroom before she could touch my butt again. We finally emerged from my bathroom nearly an entire hour later and we were finally fully dressed, made up, and ready to go. I grabbed my small black quilted Channel clutch purse and quickly scurried along behind Destani who’d already stepped out of my room. We strutted downstairs to the den and I instantly grinned like a proud mother the moment I noticed Chris leaning against the wall leading into the den. He smirked when we locked eyes and the butterflies that’d been running amok in the pit of my belly returned full force. He looked as handsome as ever in the OUTFIT I picked for him for the evening, yet I found it insanely difficult to keep my eyes on him for more than a few seconds at a time.  Stepping off the last step and stopping in front of him, he reached for my chin and gripped it gently as he tilted my head back and eyed me closely "You look so fucking beautiful, you know that?" I smiled bashfully and bit down onto my bottom lip "Thank you. You look… very handsome. Do you like the outfit?" He glanced down at himself, quickly lifting his head back up to meet my gaze "Nah, I don't…" My smile dropped into a frown in a second and while I stared at him in complete and utter horror, He only chuckled and shook his head at my expense.  "I love it... you know me so well." He smirked. I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped closer to him when I felt him squeeze my waist tighter in his hand. He slid both of his hands up to cup each side of my neck and I clutched onto his sides as we stared directly into each other’s eyes.  He meshed his lips together with mine and barely gave me any time to reciprocate the action before slyly slipping his tongue into my mouth. His tongue danced about skillfully and though I missed the feeling of the piercing that’d been removed after his accident, the sensation of his twirling appendage alone left me breathless and weak in the knees. I could hear the sound of Destani clearing her throat off to the side of us and I nearly forgot about her presence altogether, until Chris hesitantly pulled back from me and glanced at her with a smirk before licking his lips and staring down at me.  "Well I have never,” She started as she dramatically pressed a hand against her chest and blinked rapidly with her mouth hanging open, “You two are something else. You just gone stand there and make out right in my face with not a single regard for me. Would you like to stay here and just take that shit to the bedroom or what, you… heathens!”  "My bad Dez,” He chuckled as he pressed a hand against my lower back and eased me forward, “We good to go now. Especially since Sy promised me a threesome later tonight. You wanna join… we’re still looking for the third person?”  I just about gave myself whiplash from turning around so quickly to smack him hard on the chest and he cackled even harder “Stop telling people that… that’s not true!” “I just can’t with you two… I swear, I cannot! This nigga done turned my best friend the fuck out… Lawd have mercy!” Destani exclaimed.  “Oh shut up Dez!” I laughed, though I could feel my cheeks heating from embarrassment. She reached back for me suddenly and latched a hand onto my wrist, pulling me forward to stand at her side. “What time is he supposed to get here?” She spoke in a hushed tone as she leaned in close. “He should be here any minute now. I made it clear that he couldn’t be a minute late.” I said as I reached to unlock the front door. Mere seconds later, I could hear a vehicle approaching outside and I glanced at Destani before cracking the door open to peer outside. The driver was indeed right on time and I couldn’t contain my grin as I turned to face Chris who’d crept up behind me and waited patiently for me to open the door. I reached back to grab ahold of his hand and pulled him outside with Destani already well ahead of us, speaking to the driver out in the driveway.  "What is this Sy?” He asked with the most priceless expression on his face as he stared out at the Cadillac Escalade limousine with a customized birthday message scribbled along the windows for him.  "It’s your ride for the night babe. Let’s go!" I said, quickly locking the front door. I grabbed his hand once more and stepped down off the porch, leading him down the driveway toward Destani who stood there giggling with the driver. Grabbing her hand as well, I turned to the driver with a pleasant smile and dragged Destani and the birthday boy to the butterfly door of the limo so we could begin our night.  -- I stared down at Jaylen with a warm smile and watched as he sucked on Chris’s finger contently. I found it quite amusing to watch him hold Jaylen in the crook of one arm while he used his other hand to eat. After directing the driver of the limo to pick up the remainder of the group, Chris was in a world of surprise the moment we arrived at the restaurant. One entire half of the building was reserved just for him and the space was filled with all of his closest friends and family. He was bombarded almost instantly by birthday greetings and several congratulatory compliments from those who didn’t know about his son.  I shifted my gaze over to the table full of gifts just for him near the end of the main table. He ended up with quite an assortment and I was surprised that people even took the time to actually go out and spoil him like it was Christmas. When I initially asked him what he wanted from me specifically, he gave one simple answer… for me to never leave his side. Though I was sure he meant exactly what he said, I already had an idea of an actual gift that would be something meaningful for the both of us. So I settled on a simple necklace COMBO that included the date he swept me right off my feet and officially claimed me as his.  The moment he laid eyes on the ‘his’ and ‘hers’ pendants, he seemed to either forget where we were or not care at all that we had a room full of spectators as he took it upon himself to swoop in and lay the most sensual kiss on my lips. Everyone around us ooh’d and aww’d as he ended that kiss with an onslaught of sweet pecks against my lips, but I was left with blushing cheeks from utter embarrassment. I finally snapped out of that daze a short while later when I felt the warmth of his body against my side. I turned to face Chris just as he leaned in close to me, whisking me right up to cloud nine from his intoxicating aroma alone. "You good babe?" He asked only loud enough for me to hear as he continued to cradle Jaylen in his arm.  I nodded quickly and furrowed my brows "I'm fine. Why?" "You just look out of it… I just wanna make sure you not gettin bored or nothing.”  With a reassuring smile, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against the side of his neck "I could never get bored with anything that has to do with you." Tilting his head back away from me, he stared down at my lips with his own bottom lip tucked into his smirking mouth and just as he moved in for yet another kiss I could hear someone clearing their throat from across the table.  "Would ya'll please quit caking over that baby's head," I snapped my head up and glanced across the table to see Destani staring right at me with a smirk on her face, “"Yes I said it, quit caking... we don't wanna see that and neither does Jaylen. And Sy can you come to the bathroom with me? Please." With a shake of my head, I laughed along with our audience and dropped my napkin onto the table, quickly excusing myself as I stood from my seat.  I trailed along behind Destani as she weaved her way through the dense restaurant toward the restrooms. The moment we set foot into the space, she made a beeline for the vanity mirror stretched across the length of one wall and whipped out a small makeup kit from her clutch. I stood a few feet behind her with my arms crossed tight over my chest and most of my weight shifted over to my right leg. "Destani... what are you doing?" I asked. "Um, touching up my makeup… what it look like?" She replied as she carefully applied another coat of nude lipstick to her lips.  "Is this what you called me in here for?" “No...” She paused as she glanced through the reflective glass at me, “Can you be a patient for like five seconds or what?”  I rolled my eyes at her and moved back to lean against the wall behind me. I figured she was prepared to take forever to finish up all because she knew I was annoyed with waiting for her and the thought alone irritated me. With a roll of my eyes and a scoff, I pushed away from the wall and made a move toward the door. Our waiters and waitresses were supposed to be bringing Chris's surprise birthday cake any minute, but with Destani standing there taking her sweet time I just knew we were gonna miss it.  I just about made it all the way to the door to exit, but Destani was quick to swing around to face me “Where you going?”  “Back to the table. I don’t wanna miss Chris’s surprise Dez and you’re being slow.” I complained with my face contorted into a frown.  Her lips twisted up into a mischievous smirk and after tossing the tube of lipstick back into her purse, she crossed her arms over her chest and eyed me from head to toe “Why are you being so impatient and snappy with me?" "Because you're being slow, I already told you! Now please come on." I demanded.  "Did the birthday boy already get some loving this morning, or were you planning to wait until later?" She asked suddenly. Her question caught me completely off guard and my head jerked back in surprise as I stared at her in shock.  "What are you talk..." "Matter of fact, when's the last time you gave him some ass, excluding today?” She probed. "Destani, what does that have to do..." "I think you're pregnant." She blurted with the most somber expression. The space around us washed over with a thick layer of silence and I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. I was so overcome with shock that I nearly failed to notice the bathroom door swinging open directly toward my face. I stepped aside just as the woman on the other side of the door pushed it completely open and walked in. She noticed me as the door closed and she immediately offered a sincere apology for almost smacking me in my face, but I could only bring myself to smile at her and lock my eyes right back on Destani.  "Why would you think that Dez?" I whispered harshly.  "Well, because… you’re just different lately. I don’t know, I can’t quite put my finger on it… not to mention, you got a serious glow and I swear your hips are getting wider.” She explained confidently as if she just knew this to be a fact.  With yet another roll of my eyes, I smacked my lips loudly and huffed "Look, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the one who did my makeup like this to give me a glow and my hips are not getting wider… I am not pregnant!”  She dropped her gaze from my eyes and down to the front of my romper and smirked before looking back up at me with her head tilted curiously "Yeah… right. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things or something. Maybe I just... yeah, I think I’m just imagining things." The way she turned back toward the sink with that smug smirk still on her face left me rolling my eyes, but I remained calm and quiet so I wouldn’t give her any other reasons to believe her assumption.  "But that's not all I wanted to talk about though," She said, adjusting her clutch purse so she could close it, “I see everybody joined Chris to celebrate his big day, but it’s obvious that one person is missing." It didn’t take me long to realize exactly who she was referring to. I noticed almost immediately the moment we set foot in the restaurant that Rashad was absent from the festivities, but my only concern was that Chris was happy and kept a smile on his face all night… with or without his long lost friend.  "I noticed. But it’s alright… I just wanna make sure Chris has fun tonight and I know that will happen with or without Rashad." I said.  "You’re right… you’re absolutely right. We’re all gonna have fun and I plan on choosing a nigga tonight, because you know Chris be having those fine ass friends that don’t nobody know about… I know they’ll be there tonight too! I ain’t need little lame ass there blocking my swag.”  I laughed and shook my head as we finally ventured out of the restroom and back toward the tables.  -- The bass of the music thumbed through my veins and I couldn’t help but sway from side to side as we approached the front door. Chris stuck to my backside like glue from the time we climbed out the limo to the time we stepped foot through the door. With the crowd of people surrounding us and stopping us every few steps to greet him as if he were a celebrity, I was surprised he managed to keep at least one hand at my waist as we walked. I gawked at the gorgeous house ahead of us and by the time we were inside, I’m sure I resembled a kid in Disney World as I took in the splendor of it. I knew the boys had met with Mike, the party planning master, a few times to put the whole thing together, but I had no clue they would end up with something this phenomenal.  Only a few feet into the foyer of the mini mansion, Chris was bombarded with even more people than I cared to have around me, so I managed to slip out of his grasp and I made my way to a sitting area off to the side of the front door. I claimed a seat on one of the plush chairs and eyed the immense crowd that seemed to have tripled in size around Chris. With a smirk, I shook my head at the sight of him basking in all his glory.  "Last time I checked, this nigga wasn't no damn celebrity." I could hear a distinct voice to my left and I turned to see Tameka standing with a brow raised with Nalay and Destani on either side of her. She shook her head as she glanced over at Chris and took a seat on a longer couch across from me.  "I know right... and all these damn groupies just blowing his head up even bigger than it already it is." Destani cackled and slapped hands with Tameka who laughed right along with her. I turned my attention back to him in the center of the crowd and watched as he grinned widely and tossed his hands up in the air, shouting into the crowd eagerly prompting them to cheer like he really was some big celebrity. He bounced around to the music and led them all off toward the living room where a huge dance floor was set up with two DJ booths in each corner.  Nearly an hour in, the party had livened up tremendously. There weren’t many people standing stagnant and lingering in the vast space… the dance floor was jam packed with hot and sweaty bodies. Even the girls and I had managed to squeeze into the mass and we bobbed along to the music. Chris had disappeared somewhere in the throng of people, but I wasn’t concerned with where he could be. I was actually enjoying myself with my friends and I didn’t see a need to follow his every move.  The more I danced carefree and laughed aloud with the group, the more I could feel an incessant bumping against my backside that was quickly starting to irritate me. I continued to dance along to Yo Gotti’s Act Right, but that bumping just continued on and eventually I swung around and glared at the couple who grinded against one another right against my butt like there was no one else in the room. Even as I stared right at them in utter disgust, they kept on with their freak fest so eventually I turned away from them with a roll of my eyes and attempted to maneuver away from the group.  “Wait… where you going?” I glanced back when I felt a hand gripping my arm only to find Destani staring at me.  “It’s really hot… I’m gonna go sit down for a minute.” I shouted over the music. She stared at me for a while, knitting her brows curiously as she nodded and released my arm after I grinned to assure her that I was fine.  I was well on my way to yet another sitting area not far from the dance floor, but my attention was suddenly snatched before I could even reach a seat. I spotted a group of girls dancing like a couple of strippers straight from Magic City and I swore my heart stopped as I stared right into the center of the small circle they’d created. The guy that stood there was all too familiar and though I could only see him from behind, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was my boyfriend. My boyfriend… surrounded by a group of wanna be strippers. I had no clue how to react as one of the girls boldly turned to face him and ran the tips of her fingers seductively along his left cheek, pulling him closer to her by the front of his shirt.  I knew I didn’t want to create a spectacle in the middle of that dance floor in front of everyone by confronting him, so I whipped around and continued on to the sitting area without looking back. I ran my hand through my hair to toss it back out of my face and leaned back in my seat with a huff. Only seconds after I made myself comfortable on the couch, I felt a hand against my right shoulder and I turned to see Dontay hovering above me, with a face drenched in sweat.  "Wassup? Why you sitting over here by yourself?" He asked, pulling the end of his shirt up to wipe away a bit of the perspiration from his face.  I shrugged my shoulders and stared off into the crowd "I got tired and hot and I didn’t wanna end up passing out in the middle of the dance floor." He chuckled and turned to look off into the crowd as well "You ain’t gotta be all sarcastic girl." I laughed, but kept quiet as my eyes scanned over the scene and unintentionally roamed right over to Chris. The girl who’d previously been in his face had now hooked her hands around the back of his neck and he stood there with his hands limp at his sides with a bored expression as her friends bounced and twerked on either side of him. He kept his head raised and hadn’t even bothered to glance down at her as his eyes roamed constantly over the crowd.  "You see your boy?" Dontay asked.  "What?"  "Your boy," He repeated, nodding his head in Chris's direction, "I think he’s looking for you." "Yeah, I beg to differ.” I muttered, rolling my eyes and turning my head. "Actually, I think he really is." He nudged me gently with his elbow and I turned to see Chris staring directly at me with a smirk. He leaned down a bit, never breaking the eye contact with me, and whispered into the girl’s ear. She rolled her eyes and jerked her head back with attitude and immediately stopped dancing. He took that as an opportunity to slip out of her grasp and without hesitation he squeezed through a few dancing bodies to make his way toward Dontay and I.  "Wassup bro?” He greeted Dontay first once he reached us and I made sure to keep my gaze everywhere but on him, "This party is fucking insane man! Ya’ll fucked it up with this one.”  "Aye nigga, you know we can only do it big for the big man himself… no less!" They both burst into a fit of laughter and dapped each other up then Dontay glanced over at me then peered at Chris with a smirk.  "Well," He cleared his throat and stood from the arm of the couch beside me "I think Imma go hit the dance floor again... gotta figure out which one of these hoes is coming home with a nigga tonight!”  They dapped once more and the moment he walked off, Chris took it upon himself to plop down in the chair beside me after pulling it up right in front of me. “Why you ain’t out there dancing babe?” He asked breathlessly.  I shrugged my shoulders and glanced at his perspiring face “It was getting really hot and I was getting tired. I was dancing but I just wanted to take a break.” He stared at me for a while with that handsome smirk and with his legs spread on either side of mine, he leaned in close to me “You still tired?” I cut my eyes at him as I crossed my arms over my chest “Yes.” He smacked his lips and tilted his head to one side, cutting his eyes at me as he did so “No you not… come dance with me.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him trying not to snap from the sudden irritation that surged through my veins “I really don’t want to Chris… I’m still tired and my feet hurt.” “You not tired,” He said as he maintained that stance with his eyes now squinted at me, “What’s wrong?” I shook my head adamantly and leaned back in my seat “Nothing, I’m tired… that’s all.” He leaned in even closer to me and reached out to grip my chin, forcing me to face him “That’s not all… what’s wrong?” Snatching out of his grasp and staring past him toward the dance floor… I failed to realize that my leg was quivering as I sat there with my arms crossed over my chest, but Chris noticed almost immediately and he leaned to one side so that his face was directly in my line of vision “What’s the problem babe? Why you acting like that?” “I’m not acting like anything Chris. Shouldn’t you be out there dancing … everyone’s probably waiting for you.” “Fuck everyone… I want my girlfriend to tell me what’s wrong. Better yet, tell me if I did something wrong.” He pressed on. His determined interrogation was truly getting under my skin, but I focused on keeping my demeanor calm because I had no desire to ruin his birthday over my own petty attitude. As my eyes continued to take in each and every dancing body in the near vicinity, I mistakenly glanced over at the group of girls that’d been dancing all over him before he came to me. I glared at them for a short while then rolled my eyes and dropped my gaze back on him.  He glanced over in their direction then furrowed his brows and eyed me carefully “That’s why you sitting over here? You upset ‘cause they was dancing on me earlier… right?”  I cut my eyes at him and shook my head with a sigh “I never said I was upset with you. All I said was that I’m tired… but if it would make you feel better to believe that, then whatever.”  I attempted to stand up from my seat to move away from the ensuing argument, but I wasn’t nearly quick enough for Chris who had a hand around my waist within only a second “Baby, why you acting like this? No it wouldn’t make me feel better to believe that… I just want you to talk to me… tell me what’s on your mind.” I sighed and shut my eyes as I stood there focusing on just the feeling of his hand grasping my side. I refused to start a fight with him in the middle of the party and though I was nearly just as territorial as he, my reaction was totally different than his would have ever been if I was caught dancing with someone other than him. So rather than continuing on with my harsh attitude, I turned to face him and sighed through a smile.  “I really am tired Charlie… I’m not upset with you about anything, I promise. Today is your birthday and I understand that every single person in here probably wants to spend some sort of time with you… they all wanna be near you. I’m not gonna be that bitter girlfriend to stop you from enjoying your day. So I’m telling you right now that I’m not upset or angry with you, so just get that out of your mind and stop worrying about me.” I explained.  He stared up at me with his lips twisted to one side then smirked suddenly and pulled me down by my waist into his lap "Do you understand how much I love you? You too good to me.”  I smiled and chuckled softly, wrapping my arms rightfully around the back of his neck as he cupped my face to pull me in closer to him "I don't wanna ruin your night... I just want you to have fun with no worries or stress okay." He nodded and pressed his lips against mine, pulling me in as close to him as he could, allowing me to enjoy the sensation of his plump lips before Dontay, BJ, and Mike abruptly closed in on us. I barely had time to climb down out of Chris's lap before they snatched him up from his seat to drag him off toward the dance floor. I could feel someone tugging at my wrist in the process and I failed to figure out who in the midst of the chaos.  I’d assumed that perhaps it was now time to surprise him with his birthday cake and I was surprised to see the mass of people on the dance floor parting like the Red Sea as the boys dragged Chris through and he dragged me along behind him. I hadn’t noticed it before, but the DJ had shut the music off completely and the colossal space was washed over in a sea of murmured whispers. The boys dragged him to the front of the crowd and I nearly slammed right into his back when he stopped abruptly in front of me. I could barely see over his shoulder from where I stood behind him, so I rolled onto the tips of my toes and leaned in against his left shoulder to figure out what was going on.  There, only feet away from him, stood two white men and a black man… all dressed in police uniforms.  "Are you Christopher Maurice Brown?" One of them spoke up once Chris was standing directly in front of them. "Yes… is there a problem?" He asked, looking from one officer to the other. I continued to stare over his shoulder and my heart slowly began to sink as they glanced back and forth between one another before one finally stepped forward to speak. "Mr. Brown... we have a warrant for your arrest..."

[lomlwintersoldier]

With Wings {1K}

Part 1/3--Bucky x Female Reader 

Requested by @moongoddessxxx: hope you like it girl <3 sorry it took so long!!

Word Count: 1994

Warnings: tw: attempted rape/sexual abuse, violence, some angst but mostly fluffy Bucky (it get’s happier, loves)

The day you met Bucky Barnes would be a day you’d never forget. You’d been living in New York for a few weeks at that point and needless to say, you were fairly lonely. You had no roommates, no family, no friends in the area and all you could really do was go to work at a restaurant you’d just started at and come home to an empty, bare apartment. 

But after you finished a particularly long and irritating shift, you realized you were much further from the bus stop than you would have liked.You were skittish in the dark and you hated when you had to work double shifts because that meant you’d finish after the sun went down. As you stepped out the double doors, you shivered and clutched your coat more tightly around you as the cold wind seemed to blow straight through you. You swear under your breath as you realize the bus stop is ten blocks away, the stretch somehow feeling longer in the icy darkness. Swallowing your fear, you start on the long trek to the bus stop when you sense a presence behind you. Despite every instinct telling you not to, you glance behind you to find two large figures following behind you, getting closer and closer despite your efforts to walk faster.

When they got too close for your liking, you break out into a full out sprint, ready to scream if the moment called for it and they begin to run after to you too, and boy, they were much faster and from the way their coats tightened around their muscular arms, you knew they were stronger too. “HELP!” You scream as they start to gain more and more ground on you. “Come on, pretty lady. Don’t be like that.” One of them called out creepily behind you. You pour on speed but then, you feel a hand clamp down on your coat, dragging you so hard you feel like you’ll have whiplash as a result. They shove you into an alleyway as easily as they would a rag doll and push you up against one of the icy wall, pinning you effectively. “Get the hell off me!” You yell as you try to shoving him off, punching and kicking as much as you can but you may as well have been laying gentle caresses for all the effect they had. The other guy is cheering him on, yelling obscene words about you as the other pins your hands above your head and shoving his lips against yours roughly. “Now where’s the fun in that?” The first man laughs as he forces himself in between your clothed thighs. Your heart freezes as you realize what they were about to do to you and you scream louder, fighting as hard as you possibly could, but you were a fairly small girl and these men were easily over six feet tall and strong as hell. The man's hands reach for the waistband of your jeans, fingers fumbling with the button of your fly as you fight back furiously, refusing to let this happen to you.

“Fucking cooperate.” He snarls in your ear before he slams his fist into your cheek, a surprised cry of pain escaping your lips but your eyes have gone slightly fuzzy from the impact of his punch. He rips your coat, exposing the v-neck you were wearing and another, more icy bolt of fear shoots through you as his hands grip your breasts roughly despite everything you’re doing to fight him off.

Just when you’ve given up hope, you glance to your side and see another man approaching the three of you. “HELP ME!” You scream, hoping and praying that he would. This man lets out an enraged roar and instantly grabs the man on top of you and easily throwing him against the wall, knocking him out effectively. He beats the other man with a strength you would never expect from a human and he doesn’t stop until that one’s out cold too. When he’s done, he spits on them, a disgusted growl building in his chest. “Pieces of shit.” He mutters furiously under his breath. Still in shock and your mind fuzzy from the first man’s punches, you sink to the ground, your legs giving out as your breathing becomes harder and more laboured. “Hey, hey.” Your saviour rushes to your side and kneels in front of you. “You’re okay now, doll.”

Your eyes dart wildly, still fearful but when your gaze focuses on him, you’re met with the piercing blue eyes and long dark hair of the man that saved you. “You think you can walk?” He asks. Unable to speak, you nod but from the way he smiles at you with pity, you know it must be unconvincing. “Come here. Let’s get you out of here.” The long haired man easily scoops you up into his arms and you immediately feel safer with his arms around you. “I’m Bucky Barnes.” He says easily as he carries you out of the alley and starts to head down the street.

“Y/N.” You murmur as he carries you into a nearby restaurant, the warmth hitting you like a truck as he steps inside. “Woah man, is she okay?” The host asks when his eyes fall on you. “She’s fine. Can we just get some water?” Bucky asks. He glances down at your face and winces. “And some ice?” The waiter dashes off to get what you need while Bucky heads to the back of the restaurant, setting you down gently into one of the booths. He sits you up but you’re already coming out of your shock and you get up just as the waiter brings by a pitcher of water and bag of ice. Bucky pours you a glass and hands it you before reaching for the ice and holding it tenderly to your cheek.

“I’m fine, Bucky.” You wave his hand away but he ignores it, keeping his hand on your cheek. “Drink.” He replies sternly. You sigh defeatedly in response but take a sip of the water.

“What were you doing by yourself in the city at night? Do you have a death wish?” He asks, inclining his head and furrowing his brow as if he can’t understand why you’d be so careless. You laugh humorlessly and shake your head.

“I just moved to New York and I have a new job. I can’t exactly say no when my boss asks me to stay and cover an extra shift.” You reply bitterly. “Welcome to the city.”

“I’ll say.” He lifts the ice and you see a flare of anger as he studies the red mark that will no doubt leave a bruise. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” He murmurs contritely as he studies your face. “Thank you...Bucky.” You say back quietly, looking down. The two of you end up talking for a straight hour, mainly him asking questions about you and as the night progresses, you find your guards coming down. He’s so unbelievably easy to talk to that you don’t even realize how long you’d been talking. But he skates over his own life and any personal questions that you ask which you find strange. You know you’ve hit a sore subject when you ask him those questions because a twinge of pain flares in his eyes everytime so you decide to stay away from those topics for now.

It feels like you’d barely been talking for fifteen minutes when the waiter comes by and tells you the restaurant was closing. You can’t help but feel disappointed as you walk outside, followed closely by Bucky who rests a hand on your back which you find you actually like. You’re quiet for a few moments, caught between not wanting to say goodbye and not wanting to be a complete clingy moron.

“How are you getting home?” He asks, breaking the silence as he pulls his coat tighter around his shoulders. “I was going to take the bus but…” You trail off and glance down at your watch. “It looks like they’ve stopped running.”

You sigh in exasperation. Could nothing go right today? “I can give you a ride.” Bucky offers. “You have a car?”

Bucky smirks devilishly. “No.” You follow him, curious as what he means and after a few minutes of walking, you reach an intimidating looking motorcycle and instantly nervousness strikes through you.

“Are you serious?” You ask as you approach the metallic frame. “You want me to get on this?” “Come on, darlin’, it’s not that dangerous.” Humour glints in his eyes at your reluctance but not one to be chased away, you sigh gesture for him to get on. “Alright fine.” You mutter since you don’t have any other options but you eye the death cycle worriedly as he straddles the seat.

You find yourself looking him over. He’s absolutely gorgeous, obviously, but he was also well built. He wore a glove on only his left hand which you found strange but you brush the thought away. Instead, your eyes sweep over the muscular planes of his back, the way the muscles stretch and tighten as he places his hands on the handlebars; you can see them clear as day despite the thick jacket he has on and he looks at you expectantly.

“Well, if you’re done gawking at me, you can get on now.” He smirks. You let out an indignant noise, your face going red at being caught but you can’t exactly argue with him. You were gawking. You ignore his comment and climb ungracefully on the back of the motorcycle but there isn’t much room so you practically mold yourself to his back, your thighs squeezing his waist tightly. If you weren’t faced away from him, you’d see the furious heat rising to Bucky’s cheeks. He hasn’t been this close to a woman in years and the fact that you, such a beautiful woman, is holding on to his torso, your breasts pressing up against his back with every breath leaving your lungs, is distracting to say the least.

You rattle off directions to your apartment which is wedged in between more shoddy and rundown apartments and even though you feel like Bucky wouldn’t be the kind of person to judge you for that, you still feel nervous about it. The ride is short, thanks to Bucky’s daredevil speed, and before you know it, you’re pulling up to the front of your house. You give a small sigh of disappointment as you realize you need to say goodbye to him now and you’ll probably never see him again. As you disentangle yourself from Bucky’s thick body, his eyes catch yours. He’s looking all over your face, his eyes drifting from the pink in your cheeks and the way your hair falls slightly into your eyes. Then suddenly he grabs your waist and pulls you against him, holding you in his gaze for a moment before he crashes his lips to yours. Bucky tastes of warmth, spice, and you’re hit with the realization that you never want to let of this kiss. He’s pouring his feelings into the kiss, and despite the fact that you’ve only met him an hour and a half earlier, you know you’ve made an unbreakable connection with this man.

When you pull away you smile and bite your lip, absently twisting your fingers in his hair.

“I’ll see you later, Y/N.” He grins. “I hope so.” You reply coyly before turning away from him and running up the steps to your apartment. You glance behind you to find him staring after you and you feel a furious blush rising in your cheeks, so to avoid the prospect of looking like a complete idiot, you turn quickly away from him and duck into your apartment as a moronically love struck grin crosses your face.

A/N: The final chapter of Let Me In should hopefully be up by sunday!!

Tags: @xxchexchickxx @killpop-writes @melconnor2007@psychicwitchphilosopher @frolicsomefawkes @the-witching-hours12-3 @bubblegumuntsr @badassbaker@trashsnitches @barnes-toddpartnersinheartbreak@thickthighedqueen @megandrawsspace @rda1989@ailynalonso15 @cupcaitlyn96

[badlydrawnstuff]

Fate goes (camping again, i guess)

LLLLLL

Arsé-kun: Hyde: -N' that's why I think we should give kiddos some knives with their sweets! Sheepy: Satoru: Wow. So you’re going to create a knife fight over candy. Sheepy: Satoru: ...Therefore lowering the sales of candy, which improves dental care and reduces the need for dentists. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Fuck dentists, man. Sheepy: Satoru: ...Which puts many dentists out of work, causing a crisis of unemployment. Arsé-kun: Hyde: They can get other jobs! Sheepy: Satoru: Therefore causing issues with the economy since there are already not enough jobs for too many people... Arsé-kun: Mori: Causing some minor economic collapse. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: All to see children get into knife fights Arsé-kun: Hyde: Why should I care what happens later? I just wanna see a kiddie knife fight. Sheepy: Satoru: Because the consequences of your actions will hunt you down. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Nah, those're Jekyll's problems! Sheepy: Satoru: I think it’s supposed to be haunt but Rider says hunt. Arsé-kun: Mori: Hunt can be correct in some contexts. Sheepy: Satoru: Rider is good at hunting. Sheepy: Satoru: Rider can find you no matter how well you hide. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Only Jek can hide but only Hyde can Hyde! Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? Sheepy: Satoru: I guess you Hyde very well then. Arsé-kun: Hyde: I sure do! Sheepy: Satoru: Lobo is good at sniffing people out, too. Sheepy: Lobo: *His tail has begun wagging. He doesn’t seem to think anyone has noticed. He’s a good!* Arsé-kun: Mori: What's this? *he puts his hands on Lobo's big paw, which is on his lap* What's this for? Sheepy: Satoru: Can you hide your smell? Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Hell, probably! Arsé-kun: Mori: Can I have this? Sheepy: Lobo: ...? *He seems to be getting into the conversation, based on his tail wagging! He responds with another boof.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Oh, oh, ehehehe! If you have that, I see what I want! Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? Arsé-kun: *Hyde beelines for the bear trap on Lobo's leg. Look, free tetanus!* Sheepy: Lobo: *He looks over from nuzzling Mori, his fur bristling and his friendly expression turning to one of pure hatred upon noticing Hyde. He lets out a warning snarl, baring his teeth.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: What, you WANT this thing?? Arsé-kun: Hyde: This a piercing for dogs?? Sheepy: *Lobo lets out another even angrier warning snarl.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: I don't speak German! Sheepy: Lobo: *Groowwwwwllll* Arsé-kun: Hyde: You wanna keep this thing? Sheepy: *Lobo is watching Hyde closely...* Arsé-kun: *Hyde has placed a single finger on the bear trap* Sheepy: *Lobo bites Hyde's hand!* Arsé-kun: Hyde: *he looks delighted* You can have it if I can take that! Sheepy: Lobo: *He didn't expect that reponse. Why does Hyde seem so happy?* Arsé-kun: Mori: The both of you, do stop before you summon them from the depths below. Sheepy: *Lobo doesn't care about that. Lobo is defensive.* Arsé-kun: *and Hyde goes to push the bear trap open one-handed. Progress is not made at all.* Sheepy: *Lobo bites Hyde, lifting him up into the air and shaking him around.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: *WHEEE!* Sheepy: Satoru: ...Ummm. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Lets ignore that. What is it, Satoru? Sheepy: Satoru: Nothing, if we're ignoring that. Arsé-kun: Mori: Oh. What was your concern, then? Sheepy: Satoru: Won't that bother Dad? Arsé-kun: Mori: Oh, most likely. Sheepy: Satoru: Isn't that a problem? Arsé-kun: Mori: Well, yes. That is why I pointed it out initially. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh well. Arsé-kun: Mori: It is their problem now. Arsé-kun: Vlad: WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING UP THERE, KNOCK IT OFF! Sheepy: *Lobo stops briefly before continuing.* Arsé-kun: *Hyde's already got whiplash and doesn't care. This is fun!* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... That's enough, Lobo. Sheepy: *Lobo huffs and drops Hyde before returning to his original position.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Haaa.. Haaa.. Lets do that again sometime! *He had his fun. At least three bones are broken. He doesn't care* Arsé-kun: Hyde: ... 's it normal to not be able to feel your arms? Askin' for Jekyll. *...nooo, you're not. he's not even subtle.* Sheepy: Lobo:....*Huff* Sheepy: Satoru: No. Arsé-kun: Hyde: That's a shame! He gets to deal with it! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Mori: .... And Rider, I don't recommend you go down there. Recall the last time you tried? Sheepy: Rider:...... Sheepy: Rider:.................*He gives Mori a thumbs up...before going down.* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... I won't go to your next funeral. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, he's dead. Arsé-kun: Hyde: dibs on his shit Sheepy: Satoru: You'll be dead soon too. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Not again. Sheepy: Satoru: Everyone dies. Arsé-kun: Mori: That's enough of this conversation. Sheepy: Satoru: Except Grandpa. Grandpa is invincible because old people trade their flexibility for immortality. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *airhorn, followed by screaming. Mozart also screams. He is not downstairs* Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, there he goes. Sheepy: Lobo: *He whines* Arsé-kun: Mori: Last I checked, Rider does not scream. *he pats Lobo* Sheepy: Cu, from another room: SHUT UP! Arsé-kun: Acu, from yet another room: YOU SHUT UP! Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: *Herc yells from somewhere* Sheepy: CasCu, from the same room as Acu: EVERYONE SHUT UP! I'M WATCHING A DOGUMENTARY! Arsé-kun: Proto: DOG? Sheepy: Cascu: DOG! Arsé-kun: *and Proto bashes into the aforementioned room. Dog? Dogs??* Sheepy: *There's dogs on tv and dogs watching tv. Three white dogs and at least one cu.* Arsé-kun: *three Cu. Four if Mini Cu counts.* Sheepy: *He absolutely counts.* Sheepy: *That makes seven whole dogs!* Arsé-kun: *and they're all watching this nice dogumentary about puppies. depression cured.* Arsé-kun: Proto: ... .... *he registers the white dogs. processing...* !! !!! Look at all these fantastic boofers! Sheepy: Cascu: They're my dogs! Arsé-kun: Proto: I love them! *he melts into the nearest fluffy pup* Sheepy: *The puppy licks Proto!* Arsé-kun: *Full hp recovery, full np bars, all debuffs removed, melted status extended* Arsé-kun: *this room has a strict no depression policy. It cannot exist in dog heaven. Even Acu looks content* Arsé-kun: *there is nothing to do here. Lets check on Rider.* Sheepy: *Rider seems pretty proud of himself.* Arsé-kun: *Rider is not dead. Except, he is, because he is a ghost. He is not re-dead. Undead? Alive??* Sheepy: Rider: "Of course!" Sheepy: Rider: "Seeing a shocked expression on your face is worth it." Sheepy: Carmilla: You're lucky I don't bleed you dry! Sheepy: Rider: "Oh, did you know?" Sheepy: Rider: "It's going to be Halloween soon." Sheepy: Carmilla: And? Sheepy: Rider: "Heads will roll." Sheepy: Rider: "For Halloween, I will be the Headless Horseman of the Sleepy Hollows. Arsé-kun: Vlad: At least do something different. I've already made you something. Arsé-kun: Vlad: You're not getting any choice this year, not after that stunt. Sheepy: Rider:....? Sheepy: Rider: "What?" Sheepy: Rider: "What are you going to force me to wear?!" Arsé-kun: Vlad: I hope you like pumpkins. Sheepy: Rider:...... Sheepy: Rider: "I'm going to be a laughing stock." Arsé-kun: Vlad: Will you? We'll have to see. Sheepy: Rider: "You're cruel!" Arsé-kun: Vlad: Thank you. For this Halloween I am being what I am perceived to be. Sheepy: Rider: "That isn't just a perception!" Arsé-kun: Vlad: Moreso than that. Sheepy: Carmilla: If I perceive you giving me money, will you give me cash? Arsé-kun: Vlad: I don't know, would Dracula do that? Sheepy: Carmilla: No clue. Sheepy: Rider: "Are you going to kidnap Mina too?" Sheepy: Rider: "And find yourself a Renfield?" Arsé-kun: Vlad: Bah. At least a quarter of the household would be a Renfield. Arsé-kun: Vlad: And.... One Mina, who I have no interest in. Sheepy: Rider: "Can I decapitate her?" Sheepy: Carmilla: Oooohhhh, Vlad has a giiirlfriiiieeeend. Arsé-kun: Vlad: Can you decapitate Guinevere? Arsé-kun: Vlad: That is not what I said, you cat! Sheepy: Carmilla: Vlad and Mina sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Arsé-kun: Vlad: Disgusting. At least your book was accurate. Sheepy: Carmilla: Eheheh. Arsé-kun: Vlad: And don't make me actually read mine to prove you wrong. Sheepy: *The vampire-esque music briefly stops before continuing.* Arsé-kun: Vlad: *he just glances over.* Sheepy: *....Tristan, how are you producing those noises with a harp??* Arsé-kun: *carefully* Arsé-kun: Vlad: .... And you don't need to be doing any of.. Whatever you are doing. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad, how sad! Sheepy: Tristan: Ahhhh, if only you were our boss and not that cruel, beautiful woman! How wretched she was! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, all the time Sir Lancelot and I wasted running her silly errands, preventing Halloween... Oh, it could've been spent gossiping about attractive (married) women...! Socializing with beautiful (married) women in bars! Looking at gorgeous (married) women! Having a fling with lovely (married) women! Sheepy: Rider: "I feel like there's a hidden meaning behind those words..." Arsé-kun: Vlad: Found the Renfield. Sheepy: Tristan: What is Renfield? Arsé-kun: Vlad: A chatterbox. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah. Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... And as far as I am concerned, even you function better than a Renfield. Sheepy: Tritsan: What? Sheepy: Tristan: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *As Vlad turns back to resume threatening Rider with bad costumes, Tristan's phone beeps. Because it's not dead for once? Who charged it on him? How dare-* Sheepy: Tristan: *He looks* Arsé-kun: *Kay's messaging the group chat* Arsé-kun: Kay:// Boys, guess who's got some premium shit talk? Sheepy: Arthur:// how many guesses do we get lI'm gonna have to think this one through a bit Sheepy: Bedi: // You? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Guts, give him his phone back unless yours was hit by a truck. Sheepy: Arthur:// he's got mine because he's changing some settings on it to prevent me from airdropping him this one cat picture over and over again Sheepy: Arthur:// he doesn't know I have it and I don't think that setting exists Arsé-kun: Kay:// Send me it later. Anyway, Kiddo's pop gains some weight and hoo boy does he look like shit! This mans makin' Gawain's fattest potato harvest look small! Arsé-kun: Kay:// But I bet all you guys want is deets and not sick burns, right? Of what this fuckers up to? Sheepy: Gawain:// You gained weight? It's the alcohol I tell uou. Sheepy: Bedi:// 🙂 Arsé-kun: Kay:// No! Not me! Sheepy: Gawain: // Whom? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Gawain you don't know jack shit so stfu, all you know is how big the sun is compared to your dick. Arsé-kun: Kay:// My summoner's """dad""". Not even his real one. Dickass fuckin greedy bastard. Sheepy: Gawain: // I mean...that's not a good comparison, comparing things of similar size. Sheepy: Bedi: // Ah, what is he up to? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Who said dick Sheepy: Bedi: // Not number wise, but plots. Sheepy: Bedi: // Merlin!! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// H hewwo? Sheepy: Bedi: // 💗 Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Hewwo! Sheepy: Arthur:// ew it's you Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh, he's trying to rerun for mayor again. Same old. Merlin i s2g I'll punt you back into space Sheepy: Gawain: // He was mayor? Sheepy: Gawain: // Are mayors higher than kings? Sheepy: Arthur:// depends Arsé-kun: Kay:// Hm.. Yeah, depends on where. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Generally no? But it can lead to who knows what. Sheepy: Arthur:// not what I meant lol Arsé-kun: Kay:// It's like electing Aggy-kun to rule over a town. Sheepy: Gawain: // Oh, I see. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Except maybe worse off in this case. Sheepy: Bedi: // But is he getting any traction? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Say what u want about Aggy, but at least he had restraints. Minimum. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Well, the big shadow thing got bigger! So I'm gonna say yes? Arsé-kun: Kay:// I'm gonna throw Elyan at it and see what happens Sheepy: Bedi: // Those are related? Sheepy: Arthur:// he'll turn into fried chicken Arsé-kun: Kay:// They're not? I mean, it showed up a bit after he was elected the first time. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Also nice. Sheepy: Bedi: // That's concerning. Real concerning. Sheepy: Arthur:// if he's gutsy just make him not lololol Arsé-kun: Kay:// The good news is I don't think it's been as lethal? Peopleve seen it but nothing happened? Shits fucky. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Kick him in the crotch Sheepy: Arthur:// doesn't take much work Sheepy: Arthur:// or use bedi's idea of a weight loss plan and sic grif on him Sheepy: Bedi: // ? I had a weight loss plan? But I never tried to lose weight? Sheepy: Arthur:// don't worry about it Arsé-kun: Lance:// aa? Sheepy: Arthur:// ew it's you Arsé-kun: Kay:// I THINK I GET IT YOU NASTY FUCKR Sheepy: Arthur:// 🙂 Sheepy: Arthur:// well is it a bad plan? Sheepy: Bedi: // ????? Sheepy: Bedi:// What? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Yes!! Jesus christ Lucan, don't talk shit about Bedivere like that! You wanna lost limbs? Arsé-kun: Kay:// *lose Sheepy: Arthur:// heyhey it's all in good spirit Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I call first dibs on kicking his ass Sheepy: Bedi:// 😟 Sheepy: Gawain:// :thinking: Arsé-kun: Kay:// But Grif IS the one who put mr mayor in the hospital for a bit so I mean. We could? Arsé-kun: Kay:// For the uninformed, he pays us cash to keep Grif away from him. Arsé-kun: Kay:// I for one think this is fucking hilarious. Sheepy: Gawain:// Uh, what did Grif do? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Lose his temper. You know of Grif is. Multiply it. Sheepy: Gawain:// Oof. Sheepy: Bedi://...Him ending up in a wheelchair is due to Griflet??? Sheepy: Arthur:// good old grif Arsé-kun: Kay:// You know! Little Griflet things! Sheepy: Arthur:// oh wow you haven't banned me yet over that last one lol Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Well, duh. It's not your pjone Sheepy: Arthur:// oh yeah I forgot Sheepy: Bedi:// Please try to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Way ahead of you. He's been doing ok. He's like an evil detecting dog, but like, a bit dumber. bc dogs can figure out doors. Sheepy: Bedi:// He can be very sweet and gentle, but his short and violent temper may hide that. Sheepy: Arthur:// no he can't Arsé-kun: Kay:// His temper is shorter than lancelots. angry lancelot, not romcom binging lancelot. Sheepy: Arthur:// that's a temper? Sheepy: Arthur:// thought it was just how he was usually Arsé-kun: Lance:// He does what Arsé-kun: Kay:// yes and yes Sheepy: Gawain:// Hmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Gawain:// Hmmmmmm Arsé-kun: Kay:// Use that ammo as you will. Arsé-kun: Kay:// But ok wait call now and get more shit. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Like... Sheepy: Gawain:// I wanted to hang out with him but like he might spoil my favorite romcom Arsé-kun: Kay:// Gawain? You made me read that with my own eyes. How dare you. Arsé-kun: Kay:// cults r bad for u and so is bad stuff gee whilly whee Sheepy: Gawain:// It's called "The Knights of the Round Table Chat" Arsé-kun: Kay:// HAHAHAHHA Arsé-kun: Lance:// Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh we killed berserkerlot may he rest in shit Sheepy: Arthur:// lancelot is donealot with all of you Sheepy: Arthur:// lancelot hmmmmmmmmmm Arsé-kun: Lance:// I caNT typw if im' laugfin g Sheepy: Arthur:// if he gives you money to support you ofyen is he financelot Arsé-kun: Lance:// STIO[ Arsé-kun: Kay:// All right you goddamn clown, go back to clown school Sheepy: Bedi:// Kay Sheepy: Bedi:// Tell me more Arsé-kun: Kay:// I was gonna say how bad people like summoning Avengers but they didn't want Avengers! Not the damn movie! Arsé-kun: Kay:// First one of you to say avengers comics gets unsolicited eye pics Sheepy: Bedi:// What... Sheepy: Bedi:// Hold on. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Holding! Sheepy: Bedi:// We have an avenger here who Master's son was forced to summon. Sheepy: Bedi:// Is that the avenger? Arsé-kun: Kay:// That's! The! One! Sheepy: Arthur:// lol putting that out in the internet for potential hackers to see Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Who the hell would hack a server with a bad ms paint entry page? Sheepy: Bedi:// And the one who forced him to summon the Avenger was his mother's husband, Masato, a wealthy business owner. Arsé-kun: Kay:// guy involved with the whole thing spilled to Kiddo. Hoo? Hoooooooooo BBY Sheepy: Bedi:// Could the two be working together? Sheepy: Bedi:// This isn't good. Arsé-kun: Kay:// I don't know about the -to but I know there's a Masa- guy workin' there. wait let me ask Arsé-kun: Kay:// kiddo says some guy named Masanori worked for his fatass dad. Like a butler? People have those in 2018? Sheepy: Bedi://..... Sheepy: Bedi:// Um. Sheepy: Bedi:// That's the guy. Sheepy: Arthur:// :o Sheepy: Arthur:// bedi and I work hard you know Arsé-kun: Lance:// ILL KILL HIM Sheepy: Arthur:// lol good luck I'm behind 9 proxies Sheepy: Bedi:// So it's a much larger organisation than I had assumed. However, this raises questions. Arsé-kun: Kay:// no shit! and @lucan, fuck you m8, you know what I meant! Sheepy: Arthur:// lololol Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Who wants to tell lil magus babbus mum that sad business mans second form, ultimate douchefucker, is involved in shady shit! Shotnot! Sheepy: Bedi:// Merlin Sheepy: Bedi:// Second form? That's what I'm questioning. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// did Sheepy: Bedi:// I suppose it makes no difference. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Did you forget masato and masanori or are you sayin somethin else babe Sheepy: Bedi:// Nono that's not it Arsé-kun: Merlin:// nori is ultimate douchefucker. i bet he doesnt clean em Sheepy: Bedi:// It's just that with how Masato acted, it's hard to believe that he was anything but a business owner at one time. Sheepy: Bedi:// Since I've heard it's really all he cared about. Sheepy: Bedi:// But it's unimportant. Sheepy: Arthur:// with the way kay drinks it's hard ro believe he wasn't an alcoholic at one point but here we are Sheepy: Arthur:// people change. except lancelot saber Arsé-kun: Kay:// I could list all the ways I'm not right now you jackass Arsé-kun: Lance:// what i remember which isnt much, guy was ok. bad dad but tried? the other one im going to kill. Sheepy: Arthur:// it's okay you don't need to deny it because bedi eill break my spine the next time we see eavh othrr Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Why would sweet bedivere do that? Arsé-kun: Lance:// guin confirmed what i put, if he wasnt two people id kill him riht now Sheepy: Arthur:// sweet lololol Sheepy: Arthur:// he's more like a worrywart Sheepy: Arthur:// don't move lucan you'll die with those injuries just stay put Arsé-kun: Kay:// Tristan voice; Maybe I want to die, mind your own business Arsé-kun: Kay:// Speaking of whys he never here, can he not read? Sheepy: Arthur:// oh I have him blocked LOL I didn't know he wasn't here Sheepy: Tristan:// xffdhfv Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh shit he's alive! Whattup big red Sheepy: Tristan:// arm hurt neck stiff Arsé-kun: Kay:// And that's your own damn fault Lucan why don't you do somethin about ur issues for once? Sheepy: Arthur:// getting my skull bashed in is my fault lol Sheepy: Arthur:// ok Arsé-kun: Merlin:// knees weak arms spagetti Arsé-kun: Kay:// I said do somethin about it, not OH WOE ME Sheepy: Arthur:// whst can I do about it Sheepy: Arthur:// when I tell him he denies it Arsé-kun: Kay:// cmere tristan ill kick ur ass too Arsé-kun: Kay:// you guys can use my old get along shirt Sheepy: Tristan:// I'm sad Arsé-kun: Kay:// we know big red Sheepy: Arthur:// lol I'd rather grif use me as his chewtoy Arsé-kun: Kay:// He wouldn't like that much Sheepy: Arthur:// that wah I get time off work to clean and cook Arsé-kun: Kay:// Wah? Sheepy: Arthur:// waaaahhh Arsé-kun: Kay:// Wah?? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Wah! Sheepy: Arthur:// I "overworked" myself again and "passed out" so the king is punishing me, I wsnns clean Sheepy: Arthur:// so much to do... Sheepy: Arthur:// let me join you for ahen you beat up the big bad Arsé-kun: Merlin:// You're a servant! How mch did you do to reach that point??? Arsé-kun: Lance:// k Sheepy: Arthur:// lolol it was just a short nap I closed my eyes for a second Sheepy: Arthur:// tiny break punishable by the tedium of being forced to stay put and "rest" Sheepy: Lucan:// Sir Lucan, a few days is not a short nap...! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// kick his ass sir ill hold ya crown Sheepy: Arthur:// lolol it was enough rest put me bsck on duty Sheepy: Bedi://!!!!!! Sheepy: Arthur:// also get yhis doh off of me its fouffy but preventing me from leaving to clean Sheepy: Arthur:// dogs arent even allowed in here whose dog is this Arsé-kun: Merlin:// send pics Sheepy: *"Arthur" sends a picture of a white dog!* Arsé-kun: *Image is saved by Lancelot* Arsé-kun: *which one? yes.* Sheepy: Arthur:// my clotgws need cleaning now because of fur and my face needs a good scrub because it licked me Sheepy: Arthur:// yuck Arsé-kun: Merlin:// fantasti doge 10/10 Sheepy: Arthur:// it's getting in my wau Arsé-kun: Kay:// Suffe Arsé-kun: Kay:// wait i gotta Sheepy: Lucan:// I took your phone away so you'd sleep. Arsé-kun: *Kay sends an image of Grif squatting on a chair. Elyan's on his head* Arsé-kun: Kay:// Similar minds think alike.png.exe Sheepy: Arthur:// what is grif doing Arsé-kun: Kay:// fuck if i know Sheepy: Arthur:// he looks content Arsé-kun: Kay:// ikr Sheepy: Arthur:// how are you not dead Sheepy: Arthur:// iwvit your master using seals yo stop him Arsé-kun: Kay:// No. The answer will blow ur goddamn mind. More than it was already. ha. Sheepy: Arthur:// lol Arsé-kun: Kay:// We're friends. Surprise jackasses Sheepy: Arthur:// lol good joke Sheepy: Bedi:// Huh? That's obvious. Arsé-kun: Kay:// no i was serious that time lucan Sheepy: Arthur:// lolololol Sheepy: Arthur:// funny Arsé-kun: Kay:// Look ill prove im not all talk hold on Arsé-kun: Merlin:// not cleaning that up either if it goes south Sheepy: Arthur:// rip kay Sheepy: Arthur:// good knowing you Arsé-kun: Lance:// uhhhhhh arrrre we supposed to do anything with the prior info Sheepy: Arthur:// yes Sheepy: Arthur:// brijh me along Sheepy: Lucan:// Do not bring him along. Arsé-kun: Lance:// later Sheepy: Arthur:// iyll bevgreat you should see my noble ohantasm Sheepy: Arthur:// oh waitv tgats spoiler territory Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I know them!! I know the spoilers! You can keep it! Sheepy: Arthur:// I'm banned from using it Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Keep it that way for the love of the gods Sheepy: Arthur:// what? Sheepy: Arthur:// wjats wrong with ir Arsé-kun: *Kay sends in an image! Of him, with an arm around Grif's shoulder. Grif is glaring at the camera probably. elyan is photobombing. lupin is also photobombing.* Arsé-kun: Merlin:// all of it, every fuckin thing Arsé-kun: *Lancelot saves the image* Arsé-kun: Merlin:// (◕△◕✿) Sheepy: Arthur:// lololol who's the snobbu looking guy Sheepy: Bedi:// Oh! Sheepy: Arthur:// oh wait that's just kay lol Sheepy: Arthur:// lololol there's nothing wrong wuth my np Sheepy: Arthur:// just dint wanns reveak its true name or deets in case simeone hacks the chat Sheepy: Arthur:// or in case I gotta fighf one of you people who wouldnt know Sheepy: Arthur:// it's my secret tool lol Sheepy: Lucan:// Why would you use that in a 1v1? Sheepy: Arthur:// no spoilers! Sheepy: Bedi:// Kay, when did Kidd summon a new servant? Sheepy: Tristan:// If we need to find Masanori I can be of assistance. Sheepy: Arthur:// nono thisll be a no tristan allowed stealth mission Sheepy: Tristan:// Ah... my king is cruel like always... he simply cannot understand the simple man. Sheepy: Lucan:// Sir Tristan, that's not me! I'm Arthur! You can go! Sheepy: Tristan:// Don't lie like this, Sir Lucan! You've gone too far! Sheepy: Arthur:// lolol sit in a box in the corner tristan you're grounded for being naughty Sheepy: *Tristan starts sobbing and shifts into the corner...* Sheepy: Arthur:// LOL he's stomping over here Sheepy: Arthur:// good luck getting through my 9 proxies my king Arsé-kun: Kay:// I look away for ten second and Lucan fucks up the everything. Cool nice ok Arsé-kun: Kay:// Hold the fuck i need to read this backlog now Arsé-kun: Lance:// aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Sheepy: Arthur:// why are you screaming Sheepy: Arthur:// oh he looks mad Arsé-kun: Kay:// Good luck with the king, shitlips! Sheepy: Arthur:// "annoyed" is a better word I suppose, brb Sheepy: Gawain:// And no we have one less knight, since this one lost their position. Do we have any new entries? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Not that I know of. Also @Bedi, that's not Kiddo's servant in the back of that pic. Sheepy: Bedi:// Who is that? Arsé-kun: Kay:// That's Kiddo's actual dad! brb im gonna fistfight Sheepy: Bedi:// Oh, so it's a similar situation to Master's son............ is it the case that they planned this from the very beginning? Sheepy: Gawain:// Hmmmmmmm that's pretty uncreative. Arsé-kun: Lance:// how do you plan something like that Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah....... Sheepy: Bedi:// I, um. Sheepy: Bedi:// ..................................... Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Carefully?? ??? ? Sheepy: Bedi:// Well, they're planning to summon... something. Sheepy: Bedi:// This shouldn't be too hard for them. Sheepy: Bedi:// I believe in their intelligence! Sheepy: Bedi: // Aren't they? Arsé-kun: Kay:// What are you going on about, exactly? Sheepy: Bedi:// Well, you said the mayor posed as Kidd's dad Sheepy: Bedi:// Kidd is capable of summoning Servants Sheepy: Bedi:// Masanori/Masato acted as Satoru's (Master's son) dad (making Masanori therefore have more power over him) Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh, yes. Our entire debacle was... A bit weirder than that. Sheepy: Bedi:// Some stuff I doubt I should go into Sheepy: Bedi:// ? Arsé-kun: Kay:// I need to go into the backlog again, hold on. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Merlin said, and I quote " Servants cannot impregnate a still-living human under 99% of circumstances."-- "There’s a few ways though, but they’re all very risky or difficult. The easiest would be using another human’s container."--"So it’s like a pseudo servant, but like. Temporary?" Arsé-kun: Kay:// Take a single guess what is still highly relevant. Sheepy: Bedi:// !!! Sheepy: Bedi:// But is Kidd older than Satoru? Sheepy: Bedi:// Because it's still possibly the case while that was unintentional, they ended up getting the idea from that? Sheepy: Lucan:// correlation: none Arsé-kun: Kay:// Kidd is older, but.. Are you actually Lucan or still the King? Sheepy: Lucan:// I stole my phone back Arsé-kun: Kay:// God save us. Arsé-kun: Kay:// But I do not think so. This is a case where all parties involved were possibly only linked by coincidence... I think. Sheepy: Bedi:// Did Mayor do anything to Kidd's circuits? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Did..?? Non, not that I know of. Arsé-kun: Kay:// *No Sheepy: Bedi:// Hmmm. Sheepy: Bedi:// Could that just be Masanori's side of things? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I could cheat at learning these details! Sheepy: Bedi:// You could? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// It's not looking forward, so I could probably pull it off! Sheepy: Bedi:// I guess I shouldn't divulge this information but Masanori did tinker with Satoru's circuits... Sheepy: Bedi:// Go ahead. Arsé-kun: Kay:// I've almost never been this disgusted in my entire life. Sheepy: Bedi:// But thankfully he doen't seem too bothered by it. Sheepy: Bedi:// But that's why I was wondering. Arsé-kun: Lance:// Stop me if I'm wrong, and I probably am, didn't your master have his damaged? Sheepy: Bedi:// Yes, he did. Arsé-kun: Kay:// ... I'm liking this less and less! Sheepy: Bedi:// Hmm, they could be related. Ah.. another piece of information I probably should not divulge. Sheepy: Bedi:// But it's for Kidd's safety. Sheepy: Bedi:// Masanori shut down our abilities somehow. Arsé-kun: Kay:// ... I should not share this either. Arsé-kun: Kay:// But there are many ways to do that. Removing mana from ones surroundings is the easiest. Sheepy: Bedi:// That's probably what he did. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Highly likely, if not a definite. Sheepy: Bedi:// But pleae be careful Arsé-kun: Kay:// I'm carefu Arsé-kun: Kay:// Arsé-kun: Kay:// MOTHERFUCKER HAD MY PHONE IM SENDING GRIF AFTER HIM Sheepy: Bedi:// Huh? Sheepy: Lucan:// best friend and you cant even tell when it's obviously not him Arsé-kun: Kay:// LUPIN HAD MY PHONE THIS IS THE SECOND TIME HE'S PRETENDED TO BE ME AND IM LIVID Sheepy: Bedi:// Second? Arsé-kun: Kay:// MASTER OF DISGUISE MY ASS MORE LIKE MASTER OF BEING A FRENCH BASTARD no offense lancelots HON HON HON IM GONNA RAZE UR ASS Arsé-kun: Merlin:// haha get fucked drunky Sheepy: Lucan:// rip Sheepy: Lucan:// he should disguise himself as me Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah, we have someone like that here.. Sheepy: Bedi:// They seem like they'd be good friends. Sheepy: Tristan:// ? They are. Sheepy: Tristan:// They're both part of our book club. Arsé-kun: Lance:// Are we suggesting Assassin and Lucan should meet?? Sheepy: Lucan:// are you plotting my demise before you even see me a second time Sheepy: Lucan:// smh petty that I'm just better looking apparently. afraid that if there were two of me the world would have too much beauty Sheepy: Lucan:// jk jk Arsé-kun: Lance:// Note; Yan, Lupin, and Lucan cannot meet. Ban Avenger too. Sheepy: Bedi:// Revealing the true name of such a useful asset... Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah... I mean. Sheepy: Bedi:// Such a potentially helpful ally. Arsé-kun: Lance:// He's never even himself, why would it matter? Sheepy: Lucan:// they could be anyone in this room even Arsé-kun: Lance:// aaaa?? Sheepy: Lucan:// it's actually me I'm the fake Sheepy: Lucan:// in a way we're all fakes tho like. we're kinda just "memories" of the original knights of the round table. essences of them that have been given the chance to live on in exchange for serving a human Sheepy: Lucan:// so none of u here are actually real Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Man shut up Sheepy: Lucan:// why Arsé-kun: Merlin:// 1- I can't die. 2- Wording it like that is just gonna give everybody anxiety. 3- Still highly questioning some things. 4- I HAVE NEWS Sheepy: Lucan:// tell us the news Sheepy: Lucan:// did bedi finally find someone better Sheepy: Bedi:// ? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I'm going to kick you Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Kay and Grif's charge is untouched. No circuit fuckery. Sheepy: Bedi:// How did you find that out? Sheepy: Bedi:// Through Holmes? I thought he was still passed out? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Yeah, he's still dead af. I just took a tiny peek a few years back and fact checked against some medical records. Nothing out of the ordinary. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// The weirdest thing in that kids house is that bird. Sheepy: Lucan:// tbh it just looks like an albino peacock to me Arsé-kun: Lance:// It can turn into a person!!!! Sheepy: Bedi:// Who can disconnect its jaw apparently. Sheepy: Lucan:// you can turn into a person too Arsé-kun: Merlin:// oh are we mentioning that? No, no. This bird can turn into a knight much like us, and can fully speak. Sheepy: Lucan:// >like us Sheepy: Lucan:// implying you're a knight lol Arsé-kun: Merlin:// You know what I meant!! Sheepy: Lucan:// but who's his king? ssome rando in armor isn't a knight Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Same as ours? I mean, he's with Grif, and Grif's with us, soooooooooooooooo Sheepy: Bedi:// Do fountains have kings? Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah, yes, but this means that Buddy's a knight too, right? Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// Is now a bad time to ask what in the world is going on Sheepy: Bedi:// Kay can you ssend a picture of Elyan? Sheepy: Bedi:// And not Lancelot's relative, the bird Arsé-kun: Kay:// They're not the same? I'm kidding im kidding Arsé-kun: Kay:// Like, a new pic or Sheepy: Bedi:// Any pic to show Saber Lancelot Arsé-kun: *Kay resends the earlier picture of grif and elyan* Sheepy: Bedi:// If you haven't seen him before, Sir Lancelot, the bird with Sir Griflet is named Elyan. He's a "peacock". Sheepy: Bedi:// ...Who can shapeshift into a human, talk, and disconnect his jaw apparently. Sheepy: Bedi:// ... And was apparently found in ome fountain? Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// Thank you for catching me up, I suppose. Sheepy: Bedi:// You're welcome! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Oh! I've finally remembered what it is that I think of whenever I hear that bird speak! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// We're not talking about it because they don't exist! Sheepy: Bedi:// ???? Sheepy: Bedi:// You're making me really curious!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Awful beasts. Terrible. Only existed in one singularity and if I ever see one again it'll be lethal. Probably. Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Bedi:// When he speaks, I feel a great sense of danger. Evil. Like my ears aren't supposed to be allowed to hear such a thing. Sheepy: Bedi:// How frightening... Sheepy: Lucan:// who, tristan? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// No, Elyan. The bird. Leave Tristan out of it. Sheepy: Lucan:// wah Sheepy: Bedi:// But considering the bird (may) be on our side, perhaps his secret isn't too important. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Is it a secret if he does it all the damn time? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Whatever! Kiddo's dragging me to the store for candy. We can resume this later. But first Arsé-kun: Kay:// Merlin's a pussy hahah! Sheepy: Bedi:// I meant his true identity since Griflet named him. Sheepy: Bedi:// Have fun though! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bediiiiiiii Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin! Sheepy: Bedi: *He flashes Merlin a big grin* Arsé-kun: *Merlin grins back and throws his arms around Bedi* Sheepy: Bedi: We learned a lot today! Sheepy: Bedi: At least, I think so. With Holmes out of commission.. Sheepy: Bedi: Shoule we tell everyone else? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, probbaly! Sheepy: Bedi: Should we do that now or later? Arsé-kun: Merlin: We should probably do that.. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah, you're right. *He sounds a bit disappointed.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: But once it's over with, we can do whatever! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, that's true! Sheepy: *Bedi goes to say something more...but is interrupted by an airhorn!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin jumps about a foot into the air. scared cat maneuver. his ability to detect is minimal from using his clairvoyance* Sheepy: *Bedi panics and throws a punch!* Sheepy: Rider: *OW* Sheepy: Rider:........ Sheepy: Rider: "Good morning!" Arsé-kun: *Merlin stares at Rider for a few seconds, and then punches him in the gut* Sheepy: Rider:....? Sheepy: Rider:..........??? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is your head the only thing missing? Sheepy: Rider: "What else is missing?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: How should I know? I'm asking you! Sheepy: Rider: "Most of my neck." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, right, of course. Okay, anything below the shoulders? Sheepy: Rider: "My heart, probably." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Forget it, this is faster. *WHOMP. right to the no no square* Sheepy: *Rider collapses onto his knees. owOwOW* Arsé-kun: *Merlin then takes the airhorn and HOOOOOOONK* Arsé-kun: Merlin: How's it feel?? Not great, huh? Sheepy: Rider: "...I have no ears." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who cares? You feel the vibrations or some shit! Imagine feeling like that all the time, and some floaty bastard does that! Sheepy: Rider: "Loud noises do not bother me." Arsé-kun: Merlin: You get the idea! Sheepy: Rider: "I can't really relate." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Loud enough noises make you feel like your head is going to explode. Can you relate to that?? Sheepy: Rider: "I wouldn't have used an airhorn anyway!" Arsé-kun: Merlin: The poor guys made of glass! Who cares what it was? Sheepy: Rider: "And don't comment on my lack of head." Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Didn't you get it back or something?? Sheepy: Rider: "It would've just been a little surprise. That's the spirit of Halloween." Sheepy: Rider: "It's just a skull. A broken-up on at that..." Sheepy: Rider: "As to be expected." Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sucks. Sheepy: Rider: "Anyway, it's minor compared to what I usually do." Sheepy: Bedi: Usually...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can't just say that and not explain! But, like. Do it later! Sheepy: Rider: "Ah? Do it later?" Sheepy: Rider: "You are a terrible Servant if you want him to have such a fate." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Later, unless you wanna watch us. Deliver a message. Sheepy: Bedi: Ummm...he meant... explain it later. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, that! We got things to do! Arsé-kun: *Merlin glances to Bedi and wiggles his eyebrows* Sheepy: Rider: "Alright." Sheepy: Rider: "Just make sure not to go out at night if you don't want to experience it." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Easy enough. Sheepy: *Rider leaves.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... *he groans* Lets just get that over with first. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That annoyed me more than it should have. Sheepy: Bedi: I should've spoken up... Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, it's fine. Sheepy: Bedi: Let's go deliver the news Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah. Sheepy: *The two go to deliver the news! Lobo is glaring viciously at the two as he chews on a squeak toy...so, the usual. Satoru is patting him. pat pat pat* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait, who are we even telling? Sheepy: Bedi:...Um... Sheepy: Bedi:.....Um.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Should we reword it to sound more appealing? Sheepy: Bedi: Mm...I guess so. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gotcha. I'll handle that, then! I am Chaldea's greatest swindler! Sheepy: Lobo: *chew chew chew* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! Congrats! *He's beaming. He's so proud of you, Merlin!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks! I don't know how I got that title! I don't do economics! Sheepy: Bedi: Through your pure swindling genius! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are they still mad about the time I managed to own an entire hallway? Sheepy: Bedi: How did you manage that? Sheepy: Lobo: *chew chew chew chewchew* Arsé-kun: Merlin: People don't question you if you look like you belong. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, here goes nothing! *and he strides into the next room like nothing is wrong* Sheepy: Satoru: Are you looking for someone? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's back within ten seconds* Where did Master go? Sheepy: Satoru:....? Oh. D...Eiji's, uh... Sheepy: Satoru: *He points in the direction of another room* There. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thank you! Lets try that again! Sheepy: Satoru:....? Sheepy: Satoru: Have fun. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I plan to! *and he moves to the next room* Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, Merlin! ...Uh...I w-was worried...b-but I just assumed th-that you, well, um, didn't, uh, want me to a-ask where you were last....last night. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That wasn't it at all! Sorry, Master! I just didn't feel great. Sheepy: Eiji: !! A-are you sssick? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thankfully no, but thanks for worr-- Thanks for asking! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...okay ...good. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyway, I come bearing news, Master! Sheepy: Eiji: Y-you do? Sheepy: Eiji: Please continue... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here goes! *he clears his throat* First, I and other knights have been tracking down the prick. You know the one. We've started to make important progress on that. We've also learned that the matter affects more that just this little family, Master, so we're kicking our efforts up a notch. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Off of this! If we manage to make contact, we can get you fixed up! I really believe we can! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Point three is that we've already inadvertently screwed em up! Go team! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also, Satoru almost called you Dad earlier, so I'm tacking that on as point four! Sheepy: Eiji: ........!!!! Sheepy: Eiji: *A rare expression of joy spreads across his face...* R....really....? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah! All that's true! Sure, I reworded a thing or two, but no lies from me, Master! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...th-thank you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're welcome! Also, Rider wants to try and spook you, so keep an eye out for that. Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, um... Sheepy: Eiji: H-he already did... last night. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then what the hell was he talking about? He said he didn't get to. Sheepy: Eiji: ...? Sheepy: Eiji: W-well, he went through the wall near me, seeming kind of upset. And, uh, V-Vlad was there. ... I d-didn’t uh... expect it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, apparently that wasn't it. Sheepy: Eiji: ....W-well... I really hope I don't find out what it... Sheepy: Eiji: ............................ Sheepy: *Eiji looks a bit frightened...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... *he scrunches up his face before glancing back* Sheepy: *"IM COMING FOR YOU" is written in blood...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Is that it? I'm not cleaning this up. Sheepy: Eiji: ...Huh? ...B-but isn't it ghosts? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's just Rider. Who is a ghost! He's very dead. Sheepy: Eiji: He's...a ghost? Sheepy: Eiji: I...I just thought he w-was a v-very short man in...uh...in a coat...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can walk through walls and disappear and fly! Sheepy: Eiji: B-but can't you do that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Only with magic! He's the reason Lobo can disregard doors entirely. Sheepy: Eiji: Lobo can disregard doors!? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hessain Lobo is a spooky trio, I'll give you that! Sheepy: Eiji: ...Rider, Lobo, and Satoru? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have suddenly realized that telling you too much at once might cause panic, so I'll stop after this one! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No! Lobo and Rider have a third member. He's usually in spirit form, though. Sheepy: Eiji: ..............??? Arsé-kun: Merlin: As in, the form for servants so we don't use excess energy. I don't mean turning into a ghost! Wouldn't be surprised if he could though! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Or is there something behind me? Arsé-kun: *merlin turns around* Sheepy: *Lobo sticks his snout in Merlin's face! Lobo is partway through the wall.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hello! *pat pat* Sheepy: Eiji: ...Um...but he won't attack anyone, right? B-because he...he, uh, hates me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uhh.. No guarantees? Sheepy: Eiji: !? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you gonna be nice, Lobo? Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: What do you mean maybe? He hurts like you do! Except you've got the ouch on the outside! *he gestures downwards, meaning Lobo's bear traps* And his ouchies are inside! So be nice! Sheepy: Lobo: ...................? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... And I don't mean bear traps inside! That would be a mess! Sheepy: Lobo: .............. Sheepy: Lobo: *He huffs.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well *huff* to you too! Sheepy: Lobo: *He growls, probably translating to something along the lines of "Humans are evil!"* Arsé-kun: Merlin: That suggests Satoru is counted..! Sheepy: Lobo: ............................. Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: "Not yet"?? I mean, I guess that's fair, considering who his Gramps is. Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: For the love of Vivianne and all that is wet and stinky like bad pond water, just leave Eiji alone! Sheepy: Lobo: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If I emphasize with it, you leave it alone! That list is Bedi and Eiji! That's the list! Hurt em and I'll throw you into your own hole in the front lawn! Sheepy: Lobo:...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not saying I'd win! I'm saying I'd throw you. Sheepy: Lobo: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... I am ranting to a wolf about this. Good lords I need to get laid. Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *woof!* Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyway, play nice, kids and pups! *and he just strides out. in the distance you can hear him yell "GUIN, RIDER BLOODIED A WALL AGAIN!"* Sheepy: *Guin goes to beat up Rider- I mean, clean up the wall.* Arsé-kun: *you mean, beat up Rider if he doesn't clean up?* Sheepy: *Yes* Arsé-kun: *and then clean it with his coat?* Arsé-kun: *anyway now its just man and wolf* Sheepy: Lobo: *Glaaaaaaaare...* Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'm sorry!! I'll leave!!! Arsé-kun: *and so, one (1) older man hobbles out of the room. One can see Lobo's leg in the hallway, sticking through the wall. Spooky* Sheepy: *Eiji goes into the room with his painting to make sure it's okay.* Arsé-kun: *The painting is good and fine and dry. The other side of the room is not as lucky.* Sheepy: Eiji:...Uh? Arsé-kun: *its a paint explosion, except less explosion and more mess.* Arsé-kun: *and in the middle of it all is Angra, who is using his stupid skirt thing as a smock. He has no idea what he is doing. It shows.* Sheepy: Eiji:....Um... Arsé-kun: Angra: Uh... I can explain! Arsé-kun: Angra: I was... Uh... I was wasting all the paint! Because I am the best villain! Yeah! That's definitely what I was doing! *his face- made more visible by the aforementioned paint- and how he's holding a paintbrush over a canvas REALLY don't sell his claims. No sell.* Sheepy: Eiji: Um....okay. Sheepy: Eiji: Y-yes, uh...good job. Arsé-kun: Angra: I drew a dog! *he picks up the canvas, which is also a disasterpiece, but a black dog can be made out. maybe. It's abstract.* Sheepy: Eiji: Oh....! Sheepy: Eiji: Good job! Arsé-kun: Angra: Thanks! Sheepy: Eiji: But...um..p-please clean up wh....when you're done... Arsé-kun: Angra: Eh? Yeah, sure! Sheepy: Yan: Yeah! You're totally ruining the feel of the room with that! *He takes a bite of a bagel he took from the kitchen.* Arsé-kun: Angra: You again! Sheepy: Yan: Eh? I'm a concerned neighbor. Did you know that your refrigerator is running? Sheepy: Eiji: It...it is? Sheepy: Yan: Yeah, you should go catch it! Arsé-kun: Angra: Well, you'd better go catch it, Assassin! Sheepy: Yan: That's not my job! Sheepy: Eiji:...Um...um... Sheepy: Yan: So like. Sheepy: Yan: Did you know that your table is eating someone? Sheepy: Eiji:...Wh-what's the punchline? Sheepy: Yan: No, your table is literally eating someone. Arsé-kun: Angra: ... Oh, shit! *he pulls the "smock" off* I forgot I took this off it earlier! ... Is it REALLY doing that? Sheepy: Yan: Yup. Arsé-kun: Angra: I gotta see this! *he squeezes past Eiji and Yan, getting paint on the doorframe as he goes. whoops* Sheepy: *Eiji follows Angra.* Arsé-kun: *Angra goes to where the table was last. It's, well, not there.* Sheepy: Eiji:...Huh? Sheepy: Eiji: I-It definitely was there... Arsé-kun: Angra: And nobody's been around here? Yanny, where's the table at? Sheepy: Yan: The room with the detective. Arsé-kun: *and Angra rushes over for a once in a lifetime view* Sheepy: *Eiji follows* Sheepy: Eiji: Ah.....ah.... Th-the table... Sheepy: Yan: Ain't that a predicament. Sheepy: Eiji: It's eating him! Arsé-kun: Angra: Is this vore? Sheepy: Yan: You think that snakes are into vore? Arsé-kun: Angra: Oh absolutely. Sheepy: Eiji: ...........Cu! Arsé-kun: Acu: What! Sheepy: Eiji: The table i-is...is Sheepy: Eiji: .... Sheepy: Eiji: A....alive? And it's eating someone! Arsé-kun: Acu: .... ... *he trudges in, not looking thrilled at all. He looks at the situation* what. Sheepy: Eiji: P...please help. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... *he just. takes his spear. and goes to push the "table" away from Holmes. eat THIS monster* Sheepy: *The table hisses and lets go of Holmes, backing off and getting into a defensive position* Sheepy: Satoru:....Who removed the tablecloth? Sheepy: Eiji: ...Uh...? Sheepy: Satoru: *he removes Holmes’s blanket and puts it on top of the table.* Sheepy: *The table stops hissing...and changes back into a normal table. “Normal”.* Arsé-kun: Angra: Hey, quick question? What the hell? Sheepy: Satoru: What? Sheepy: Satoru: It was cold. Arsé-kun: Angra: Okay, better question! Why weren't w-- Why couldn't I detect that even bein' here?? Sheepy: Satoru: Because it's jut a normal table. Arsé-kun: Angra: Fantastic! I definitely won't abuse any of this information! Arsé-kun: Angra: *he is absolutely going to abuse this information for the following month* Sheepy: Satoru: Make sure to give it a tablecloth. Sheepy: Satoru: Otherwise, it'll eat you as you sleep. Arsé-kun: Angra: Well okay! Sheepy: Eiji:....what is that? Sheepy: Satoru: A table. Sheepy: Eiji:....N....No, that's not a table. Arsé-kun: Acu: *he pokes it with his spear again. prooood* Sheepy: *The table does nothing.* Arsé-kun: *...And Acu plops down next to it. To, uh, make sure it doesn't do anything. Yeah.* Sheepy: *It doesn't react.* Arsé-kun: *Thrilling.* Sheepy: *yes* Arsé-kun: *ok it's now boring, lets check in on the latest gilkidu stream* Sheepy: Gil: This is a predicament. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: .... .... *he looks disappointed.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ... Okay, sir, lets start over. Please remember that their biol- Sheepy: Gil: I understand why this isn't working! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Is it because there are fifty gorillas in the entrance? Sheepy: Gil: We need more lions! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: My lord.. Sheepy: Gil: *He restarts* Well, what's wrong with my plan? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sir, people bring their children to this zoo. Please put the animals in the cages I set up for you as intended. Sheepy: Gil: But didn't you see how happy they were outside of the cages? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sure, but the children.. Sheepy: Gil: Free food for the animals. Sheepy: Gil: Our zoo is thrifty! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Gilgamesh! Sheepy: Gil: Yes? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That is not the appropriate diet for lions! Sheepy: Gil: Why not? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: What do you mean why not? ... Because human children don't have enough nutrients, they're far too small! Sheepy: Gil: Hmmm, but food is food. Arsé-kun: Lance: what have you done. *he drops into frame. hello* why are people dying? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I wonder why!! Sheepy: Gil: Oh, our lions don't like people very much. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: *he is getting progressively more annoyed* Gee! I do wonder why, my King! Sheepy: Gil: What's wrong? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Gil, I work at a zoo. And you've unleashed lions on the populace. Clean up your mess. Sheepy: Gil: Hmmm... Sheepy: Gil: *He opens up the menu to add more animals...* Arsé-kun: Lance: This zoo needs an ak-47 Sheepy: *....and starts rapidly clicking, adding a ton of crocodiles...* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Please tell me you aren't adding 101 crocodiles. Sheepy: Gil: It's widely known that the lion's rival in the wild is the crocodile. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: You're not entirely wrong, but... *and they put face in hands. siiigh* Sheepy: Gil: ......Mmm, the computer sounds like it's dying but the lions aren't ... Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Where did that lion go? Sheepy: Gil: Which on- Oh. Ohhhhh. Sheepy: Gil: It's halfway through the ground... Arsé-kun: Lance: Is that normal? Sheepy: Gil: Is it? Arsé-kun: Lance: You had lions. You tell me. Sheepy: Gil: Enkidu? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: .... *he peeks between his fingers* That's a lion. Sheepy: Gil: Is this normal? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ..... Yes, sure. Lions clip through the ground in the wild as well as in captivity.. Sure, right, don't worry about that.. *she giggles* Sheepy: Gil: Uhuh. Sheepy: Gil: I see. Arsé-kun: Lance: .. So how do you beat crocodiles? Sheepy: Gil: Enkidu? Sheepy: Gil: What can beat crocodiles? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: In the game or in real life? Sheepy: Gil: Is there a difference? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Uh... Yes. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: In game I know less, so let's assume... More crocodiles. Sheepy: Gil: Oh! Good idea. Good enough that I coukd have thought of it myself! Wuhahahahaha! Sheepy: *Gil starts rapidly clicking again. ... The game has stopped responding...* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: We've done it. We've defeated the crocodiles. Sheepy: Gil: Have we really? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: In but a moment they'll cease to exist. I count this as a victory. Sheepy: Gil: But so will your zoo. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I saved the layout. You never saved. Sheepy: Gil:...Hmmm. Arsé-kun: Lance: Does this mean we can play a horror game now? Sheepy: Gil: That's what the brat said when I discovered that his sims were alive again... Sheepy: Gil: "You didn't save!" Sheepy: Gil: Hah, what horror game did you want to play? Arsé-kun: Lance: What haven't you screamed over yet..? Sheepy: Gil: Hmmm... Sheepy: Gil: Wait! I don't scream! Arsé-kun: Lance: Mozart says otherwise. Don't yell at me about it.. Sheepy: Gil: I never scream. Arsé-kun: *Lance starts looking through a list of games. What hasn't been played yet on this here system?* Sheepy: Gil: *He helps look.* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Wake is untouched. Sheepy: Gil: Let's play that then. Arsé-kun: Lance: Go in blind or check the description? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Go in blind, you pussies. *he hops onto the couch. Only the top of his head is in the frame. It doesn't help that he's avoiding being on camera* I bet you won't. Sheepy: Gil: Of course I'll go in blind! Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Chat seems to agree with Caster. Blind it is. Arsé-kun: Lance: So we'll play this for a couple of days, spend a day or two on the dlcs, and move onnn? Sheepy: Gil: Sure, fine by me. Arsé-kun: Lance: Then you guys get started. I'll plan ahead. Sheepy: *Gil begins playing.* Arsé-kun: "Stephen King once wrote that "Nightmares exist outside of logic, and there's little fun to be had in explanations; they're antithetical to the poetry of fear." In a horror story, the victim keeps asking "Why?" But there can be no explanation, and there shouldn't be one. The unanswered mystery is what stays with us the longest, and it's what we'll remember in the end. My name is Alan Wake. I'm a writer." Arsé-kun: Hans: Bullshit, people usually fill in the blanks themselves. Sheepy: Gil: Hah! As if I'd bother remembering something that serves no purpose. Arsé-kun: Hans: Don't go that far. You'll miss all of the Chekov guns that way. Sheepy: Gil: What? Arsé-kun: Hans: Who cares? Here's the hot wife. Narration isn't important if you're presented with boobs. Sheepy: Gil: Ahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Hans: Oh, is she not here yet? I thought she was the first cutscene. Arsé-kun: Hans: I'll shut up, then. Arsé-kun: *and they start the tutorial. it's pretty straightforward, but doesn't explain much about itself* Sheepy: Gil: Mmm...we aren't at the good part, hm. Arsé-kun: Hans: Shut up and do the tutorial. Sheepy: Gil: *He begins actually doing the tutorial* Fine! Sheepy: Gil: *He's rapidly clicking. Bad tutorial. Leave.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: *he sighs and gets in Gil's way to actually do the tutorial* Sheepy: Gil: ? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: We won't have to deal with it if we do it. Sheepy: Gil: *He huffs* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Completing a process is the easiest way to eliminate it from needing to be done. Sheepy: Gil: *Pout* Sheepy: Gil: I know everything I need to know! Why do I need to play a tutorial? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: To learn and practice the things you don't. Now play it. *she gets out of the way* Because you know how I play. Sheepy: Gil: Hah, you've defeated the purpose of the tutorial. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Would you rather I do it? Sheepy: Gil: No. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Then get moving, my lord. I only started it. Sheepy: *Gil actually does the tutorial* Arsé-kun: Hans: Is this holy light god? Or is it Gil's AOU? Sheepy: Gil: Hah! As if I'd let them use my AUO! Arsé-kun: Hans: It's a holy dick. Sheepy: Gil: What? Arsé-kun: Hans: They have not told you anything of value and are clearly important. What a dick. Sheepy: *Gil continues...he seems to not notice Lobo, who's chewing on his collar. Or maybe he wants to ignore it.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Is that good, Lobo? Sheepy: Lobo: *He pauses and looks to Enkidu, before licking them.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Oh, thank you. Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Sheepy: Gil: Lancelot, would you stop barking? Arsé-kun: Lance: Aaa? I did not.. Sheepy: Gil: *He looks behind him...only to be greeted by Lobo's snout being shoved in his face.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Lobo's here to help! Sheepy: Gil: Who let the dog in??? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sir, the door is shut. Sheepy: Gil: Exactly. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: He let himself in. Oh, I saw a glowy. Make sure to pick that up. Sheepy: Gil: *He does so* Oh, yes, I saw th- how does a dog open a door? Sheepy: Gil:...Oh. Right. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: With the proper application of force. Or bypassing it entirely, in Lobo's case. Sheepy: Gil: I forgot about that. Arsé-kun: Hans: That is information I still downright hate. He could break into my writing spots and get his paws on my manuscripts. Sheepy: Gil: Don't give him ideas. Sheepy: Gil: He broke into my room and trashed it. Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Hans: Could he fit into a space the size of a cardboard box? He does not sit if he does not fit. Usually. Sheepy: Gil: I haven't a clue. Sheepy: Lobo: *He tilts his head* Arsé-kun: Hans: Look, boobs! Sheepy: Gil: *Yess* Sheepy: Lobo: *He doesn't care. He is sniffing around the room now.* Arsé-kun: Hans: You did it. You beat the tutorial. And it only took you twenty minutes. Sheepy: Gil: There were many distractions. Arsé-kun: Lance: *he reaches out and pats Lobo. bawoof* Arsé-kun: Hans: Oh, that wasn't a complaint. The first stream I saw of this took almost an hour. Sheepy: *Lobo sniffs at Lance. hello!* Sheepy: Gil: Hah! Well, I am the King of Heroes! Do you expect me to be a slowpoke!? Arsé-kun: Lance: *he leans his head forward. boop.* Arsé-kun: Hans: I doubt you want an answer to that. Sheepy: Lobo: *He plops down next to Lance. This ...human? acts weird and requires further inspection.* Sheepy: Gil: Hah, don't waste your breath! I know what you will say! Arsé-kun: Hans: Tell me, then. Sheepy: Gil: I'm the fastest of them all! Arsé-kun: Hans: You rush through things because you don't want to be seen as dimwitted and slow, but you are fully aware that you get better outcomes when you use your remaining three braincells. Sheepy: Gil: ....Hah? Arsé-kun: Hans: I'll see myself out so that my next manuscript can come out on time. Sheepy: Gil: Don't you run away! Arsé-kun: Hans: Oh, I am certainly not running. The correct term would be "bolting".. *and he bolts. bye* Sheepy: *Gil pauses to angle the camera to point directly at Lobo and then chases Hans.* Arsé-kun: *Gil is not successful. He continues hunting for Andersen after the stream is over, and even into the next day.* Sheepy: Tristan: Watching that king is sad. Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes.. Sheepy: Tristan: *He strums his harp* If only he could learn forgiveness... Sheepy: Bedi: Your toast is burning. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah... how sad... Sheepy: Tristan: No matter what I try... simply, I'll be no better than a king who runs around like his head has been removed... that is the phrase, yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's close enough! Sheepy: Bedi: Tristan, your toast. Arsé-kun: *Merlin reaches over and unplugs the toaster* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...I suppose we didn't need that plugged in anyway. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...I smell burning... Arsé-kun: Lance: Your toast, Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...if only I could be better... Arsé-kun: Merlin: At least it isn't black toast. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's still more edible than eyeball. Sheepy: Bedi: Hm? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I had flashbacks to the first time you cooked eyeball. .. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, so anyhoo, can someone pass that butter over? Sheepy: *Bedi passes the butter to Merlin.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks. *and he throws on too much. this is how you clog arteries ladies and gents* Sheepy: Bedi: *Stare...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: What? I can't die. Why not enjoy myself? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah....true. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Actually, I'm not even sure servants can die of too many carbs. That would be absolutely wild. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The Hamburglar, Assassin Class Sheepy: Bedi: Mmm...? Sheepy: Bedi: How does that work? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A lot of bullshit. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm..so you don't know. Sheepy: Tristan: Merlin doesn't know something...? How sad... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, he'd have low presence concealment, because he always gets caught. Sheepy: Tristan: Who is hamburglar? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A purple fat burglar that only steals burgers. They don't even kill people. One star servant, fp only. Sheepy: Bedi: I keep a close eye on my diet to make sure I'm getting enough nutrients so my body will be able to serve my King and Master Eiji. Sheepy: Tristan: Hmmm.. Sheepy: Tristan: So like Lupin but fat and steals only burgers. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I guess so! Sheepy: Tristan: What a sad Heroic Spirit... Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Tristan, he's a fastfood mascot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's not even the mascot! He steals from Ronald McDonald! Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: But the purple chicken mcnugget isn't Ronald McDonald either. Sheepy: Bedi: However, he's also a mascot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The only one I can outright confirm is that Willy Wonka is a Berserker. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But instead of rice like Archer, he gives out candy and sexually confusing young children by exposing them to strange fetishes. Sheepy: Bedi: Eh.. Sheepy: Bedi: Eh...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The girl who turned into a blueberry made many children inflation fetishists. Sheepy: Bedi: What... Sheepy: Bedi: That's... Sheepy: Bedi: *He looks a bit disturbed...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, ok, not KIDS! When they grew up, I mean! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, but still. Sheepy: Bedi: Willy Wonka is apparently a very influential man. Sheepy: Bedi:..... Sheepy: Bedi: What other mascots are there? Sheepy: Bedi: What about the pringles man? Sheepy: Bedi: I think that the pringles man would be a berserker. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmm... Not sure. Maybe? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, it'd explain why he thinks that putting chips in cans is a good idea. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you saying berserkers are stupid? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmmm...well. Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Lancelot is not dumb. Sheepy: Bedi: However, Sir Lancelot did not invent pringles. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Rrr? *he had stopped listening* Sheepy: Bedi: Therefore already giving him a point in his favor. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... ... Could use the can aaas a weapon.. Sheepy: Bedi: You could use pringles as a weapon. Arsé-kun: Lance: !! Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Could use chips as throwing knives.. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh dear... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Have you ever had a chip bit break off and land in your eye? It's awful! This is what eyelashes are for and they don't do their job! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, yes. Sheepy: Bedi: And then you wash your eye and it doesn't help. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah. I haven't personally experienced it, but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who designed the human eyelash and decided it was fine?? Who saw they get tangled and fall off and don't do anything- Yeah!- and said it was okay?? I want to speak to the manager! Sheepy: Bedi: Mmm...Evolution. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fuck you, Charles Darwin! Sheepy: Bedi: Do you think Charles Darwin is a heroic spirit? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Caster. Noble Phantasm can hasten or delay evolution. Can induce sentience. Sheepy: Bedi: How frightening... Arsé-kun: *in the background, proto has put poptarts in the toaster. why isn't it toasting? idiot.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh. Sheepy: Bedi: Do you think that Charles Darwin is a Saber face? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I hope not! Sheepy: Bedi: Other-me is. Sheepy: Bedi: Which feels weird. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's so depressing. He needs to get laid. Sheepy: Bedi: Is he? He just seems a little disappointed in everyone. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wah, wah, I couldn't do anything! Man, shut up, you did your best. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...but... Sheepy: Bedi: It's okay to regret your past decisions. Try to learn from them. Sheepy: Bedi: And then try to fix them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Exactly! Don't cry about them hours on end and do nothing! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, exactly Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... Sheepy: Tristan: To think someone would do that.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sir Tristan... With all due respect, you do that too! Sheepy: Tristan: No I don't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaan, I don't get people. There's a grand total of three humans I have understood, and boy are you not one of them! You're like a puzzle, in an enigma, crying in a magic box wrapped in sheet music and despair! Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...how cruel... Sheepy: Tristan: You and Sir Bedivere are very capable at being mean... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Was that an insult? Sheepy: Tristan: No. Arsé-kun: Merlin: oooookay. Sheepy: Tristan: Why would I insult you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, why not? Sheepy: Tritan: Because then you'll insult me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why would I do that, beautiful? Sheepy: Tristan: Becaue I deserve to be insulted. Arsé-kun: Lance: You stop that. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...how sad... Arsé-kun: Lance: stop Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot wishes I stop speaking... Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, did you know? Arsé-kun: Lance: You're friend. Sheepy: Bedi: Ant eggs are eaten in some places. Sheepy: Tristan: *He begins to reply to Lance before just staring at Bedi* Arsé-kun: Lance: Arrêtez. Sheepy: Bedi: And spiders. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd rather talk about, pardon my french, putain. I don't remember how to use that word properly. Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... Not... Not like that. Sheepy: Bedi: Is that a food? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Er... N.. No.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, it could be! In theory? Sheepy: Bedi: It sounds like a cheese based dish. Which reminds me... Arsé-kun: *Lance snorts. Bedi...* Sheepy: Bedi: Did you know that in some places, they serve cheese covered ma- *loud harp noise from Tristan* Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, he didn't get to finish! What a tragedy. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, speaking of which... Sheepy: Bedi: We should go camping one day! Don't worry, I can cook in any outdoors situation! *He appears extremely proud of himself!* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... I wanted to go but never got to... Sheepy: Bedi: Sometimes it's just relaxing to look at a clear night sky, away from all humanity. Your stress just melts away... ah, but I guess we can't. Arsé-kun: Lance: Why not..? Master went and did it.. Sheepy: Bedi: Because what about Master Eiji... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We use those big strong arms of yours! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh? We could bring him along, but... Arsé-kun: *Proto is still in the background. He has accomplished poptarts, but the discussion is more important. Possible excitement?* Sheepy: Tristan: I want to be able to cook from the creatures I slay... Sheepy: Bedi: Who should we invite? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The vibrating dog behind you. Sheepy: Bedi: Lobo? Arsé-kun: Proto: We're going camping again?? :Dc Sheepy: Bedi: We're considering it. Arsé-kun: *That's one excited dog!* Sheepy: Bedi: Should we send an invite to the other knights? Arsé-kun: Lance: We could.. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, we an assume Sir Kay and Sir Griflet can't go. Same for Sir Lucan and his king...ah, I suppose he is our king, too....! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who says? I bet Arthur would love to shove Lucan into the wilderness. Sheepy: Bedi: How? Sheepy: Bedi: How do you do butler work in the middle of the woods? Sheepy: Bedi:....Oh! That's it. You can't. Sheepy: Bedi: He'd probably be miserable... Sheepy: Tristan: How sad. Sheepy: Bedi: But he does want to go on adventures. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... I did tell him I would bring him along eventually. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, let's send a general invite out to the group. Sheepy: Bedi:// We're going camping soon. Does anyone want to come? Arsé-kun: Kay:// I'd love to, but me n Grif have the kid. I'll pass 4now Sheepy: Lucan:// my king you should go and bring master, I'll babysit the shop Sheepy: Arthur:// Sir Lucan would be interested in going. Arsé-kun: Lance:// Lucan, didn't I promise to take you for an adventure of sorts? Sheepy: Lucan://... Sheepy: Lucan:// Well, will you? Arsé-kun: Lance:// Why would I say it and not follow through? Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmm Arsé-kun: Lance:// Don't actually answer that, theres a lot of answers Sheepy: Lucan:// lolol look at saber you and come back to me on that question Sheepy: Lucan:// jkjk I love you pal Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// I'm right here, you gutsy bastard! Sheepy: Lucan:// heyhey don't be mad Arsé-kun: *Kay sends a vine. WHEN U CAN BE. GLADE.* Sheepy: Lucan:// hey saber lancelot you should come with me Sheepy: Lucan:// you don't have a master to take care of anyway right? Sheepy: Lucan:// and nor does gawain so he should come Sheepy: Gawain:// Yes I do. Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// I'll see if I can manage it. Sheepy: Lucan:// you have responsibilities? Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// Yes! Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// Hmmmmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// I believe you Sheepy: Lucan:// you see if you come along I wont be forced to show other you my noble phantasm because I won't need to Sheepy: Lucan:// which like as coolbas it is, 9/10 people describe it as horrifying andthe tenth is disgutsing Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// How about you just don't do it Arsé-kun: *Proto is looking over Lance's shoulder. Excitement has not faded at all.* Arsé-kun: Lance:// Prototype Cu is also most likely joining us. Don't you work with him, Lucan? Sheepy: Lucan:// who Sheepy: Lucan:// oh wait Sheepy: Lucan:// which one Sheepy: Lucan:// old or young Sheepy: Bedi:// He's the young one. Sheepy: Lucan:// ok so let's open a shop in the middle of the woods. Sheepy: Lucan:// that way we can work Sheepy: Gawain:// What do you sell in the middle of the woods Sheepy: Lucan:// bugs Arsé-kun: Merlin:// To who?? Who tf are you going to sell bugs to? The wildlife?? Sheepy: Lucan:// bug eaters like you Arsé-kun: Merlin:// wHAT Sheepy: Lucan:// lolol merlin eats bugs Sheepy: Bedi:// Oh, did you know? Sheepy: Bedi:// Palworm beetles are extremely nutritious and are a good source of protein. Sheepy: Lucan://... Arsé-kun: *Saberlot has left the chatroom* Arsé-kun: *Lancelot has left the chatroom* Sheepy: Bedi://? Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah, they must've misclicked! We should invite them back! Arsé-kun: Lance: ... I just ate. Do you need to share bug facts? Sheepy: Lucan:// yeah misclicking trying to block you Arsé-kun: Lance: We don't all have iron stomachs like you. Sheepy: Bedi: Huh...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Translation; Do not like the discussion. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! Sorry. Arsé-kun: *Lancelot has entered the chatroom* Sheepy: Lucan:// lol was he dragged back in Arsé-kun: Lance:// No. Sheepy: Lucan:// you don't need to hide it we know the person who put emoji responses on everything brought you bsck Arsé-kun: Lance:// I'm sitting next to him. Sheepy: Lucan:// I meant the queen Arsé-kun: Lance:// Sheepy: Lucan:// unless arturia's guinevere is male? Arsé-kun: Lance: *he grumbles, loudly* Arsé-kun: Lance:// hey! stfu Sheepy: Bedi: What is it? Sheepy: Lucan:// well I was kinda confused at first Arsé-kun: Merlin:// That's fair! Arsé-kun: *Lance just looks grumpy. the norm. the usual for berserkerlot. take a nap, drink water* Sheepy: Lucan:// since like mine is very different in general Sheepy: Lucan:// and what's weirder is that there's two bedis and neither of them are the king's Sheepy: Lucan:// not gonna touch on the fact that there's 11 of him including him and one is santa claus. Arsé-kun: Santa:// talk shit get hit scrub Sheepy: Lucan:// hey now it's weird to be santa in OCTOBER. Sheepy: Lucan:// be creative. be a HALLOWEEN santa. Arsé-kun: Santa:// What, did you think Santa just vanishes January first? Sheepy: Lucan:// he's legally required to lol Arsé-kun: Santa:// No. That would make for an absurd Servant. Sheepy: Lucan://... Sheepy: Lucan://................. Sheepy: Lucan://....................... Sheepy: Lucan:// ok Sheepy: Lucan:// I kinda assumed that he just got drunk at bars for the rest of the year Arsé-kun: Santa:// I wish it was that easy. Sheepy: Lucan:// that's a lie I don't believe in santa Arsé-kun: Santa:// Understandable, I hope you like coal Sheepy: Lucan:// give bedi coal too Sheepy: Lucan:// he believes in santa but he won't after that Arsé-kun: Santa:// He can already burn himself without the coal. Sheepy: Lucan:// but you don't dispute him being on the naughty list after him telling us bug facts Sheepy: Lucan:// I think that all of us are permanently on the naughty list but mostly merlin Sheepy: Bedi:// Please don't bully Santa. She works really hard. Arsé-kun: Santa:// Thank you. Merlin has his own list. There is a different bag here, and every time I or another Arthur get mad at him, we put another piece of coal into it. By December I will have a weapon. Sheepy: Bedi:// Don't worry, Merlin, I'll protect you. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// But see, she has to catch me with it first. Sheepy: Bedi:// But Merlin... Sheepy: Bedi:// Don't you know? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// uh oh Sheepy: Bedi:// Santa travels the whole world in one night!! Sheepy: Bedi:// So Santa must be very fast! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// But Bedi, she did it in seven days. Most Santa servants are given extra time. Sheepy: Bedi://....huh? Sheepy: Bedi:// But she travels the world in one night...that's what they say always. Arsé-kun: Santa:// +1 coal Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Did I earn that one for slander? Nice. Sheepy: Bedi:// Why would they lie about Santa? Santa is a hard worker! Sheepy: Lucan:// santa isn't real Arsé-kun: Santa:// -300 coal, +1 black key set Sheepy: Lucan:// is that bad? Sheepy: Lucan:// 300 coal = 1 black key set Sheepy: Lucan:// how much is 300 coal sold for? coal is a very valuable resource. Sheepy: Lucan:// it fuels many things. Arsé-kun: Santa:// Black keys are almost worthless. I'm not giving you all that free stuff- It's of use to you. You get keys instead. Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// free stuff from a mall santa is already good Arsé-kun: Santa:// Merry fuck-youmas Sheepy: Lucan:// I can't sit on a mall santa's lap and ask for a train set for christmas because I'm an adult Arsé-kun: Santa:// And you're not getting it. Sheepy: Lucan:// lolol I don't want a train set Sheepy: Lucan:// unless you mean the black keys Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmm for christmas I want Sheepy: Lucan:// a working body so I don't have to wear bandages all the time Sheepy: Lucan:// good luck santa Sheepy: Lucan:// if you can grant that I'll believe in santa Arsé-kun: Santa:// well shit Sheepy: Lucan:// if you can't, well Arsé-kun: Santa:// If Santa's magic can prevent Servants from fading, it can sure do that. You're still getting keys though. Sheepy: Lucan:// why are you giving me keys Sheepy: Lucan:// what do they open Sheepy: Lucan:// I guess it'd cause problems for my np but I've heard of "np upgrades" Sheepy: Lucan:// and anyway I can't use it anyway Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks up from his phone* Who else can we drag along? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So whoever wants to! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm..who would want to? Arsé-kun: Proto: Who wouldn't? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. Arsé-kun: Proto: I can ask! Arsé-kun: Lance: Uhhhhh... Sure, go ahead.. Arsé-kun: Proto: Okay!! *and he's off to the races. there would be a dust cloud, were there any dust to kick up in the first place.* Sheepy: Bedi:....Hmm Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahahahaha! O Knights of the Round, have you finally decided to go and fulfill your name by adventuring as you supposedly did? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Yeah. Sheepy: Ozy: And your king isn't going ? Sheepy: Bedi: I....don't think so. Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahaha! How lonely you will be without a kingly presence! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He doesn't have to! Many of the knights have had solo adventures. Sheepy: Ozy: Hahahahahahaha! How lonely! Arsé-kun: Lance: *he nudges Tristan* How sad. Sheepy: Ozy: Oh! If only a king would accompany you! Hahahahaha! Sheepy: Tristan: Snrrzz...Uh? Oh, I wasn't sleeping. Sheepy: Bedi:? Arsé-kun: Lance: sure. Sheepy: Ozy: If only....by some miracle.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, stop being tsundere. Just say you want to come, Pharaoh. Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! Hahahaha! Ha! Sheepy: Ozy: Ha! Ha! Arsé-kun: Merlin: What are you doing, loading a response? Sheepy: Ozy: No. I'm considering if I'll grace you with my presence. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But you already are, and I'm honored to know you can exist outside of the attic! Sheepy: Bedi:...Is that a camping manual in your hand? Sheepy: Ozy: Oh, oh? Sheepy: Ozy: Of course I can. Sheepy: Ozy: However, I'm usually *he casually hides the manual behind his back* busy with my job. Arsé-kun: *Unfortunately for Ozy, a blue missile spots the manual.* Arsé-kun: Proto: Rider!! Do you want to camping! Sheepy: Ozy: Of course not. Arsé-kun: Proto: eh Arsé-kun: Proto: Eh? Sheepy: Ozy: What? Arsé-kun: Proto: Then what's the manual for? Sheepy: Ozy: Boredom. Sheepy: Ozy: That's all. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmmm.. Arsé-kun: Proto: The sun god doesn't want to be out in the sun? Hmmm. Arsé-kun: Proto: But okay! That's fine too! *and he is gone again. and then peers back in. curiosity wins* Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahahahaaha! Anyway. I will find it in my busy schedule to assist you. *He crosses his arms, a huge smile on his face* Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sounds fantastic, great Pharaoh! Sheepy: Ozy: Mmm? I don’t mind the praise, but you don’t need to call me great. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, so I don't need to suck up to you like we do for You-Know-Who? Sheepy: Ozy: No. I’ve got no interest in artificial flattery. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's good to know, sir. Sheepy: Ozy: Again, there’s no need for the artificial flattery. Sheepy: Ozy: I’m just here to get things done. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And done things have been! Sheepy: Ozy: Well, good! Sheepy: Ozy: I’ll enjoy your presence! ... Hmm. Hmmm? *His hair starts to stick up a bit...* Hmmmmm? Sheepy: Bedi: Uh... sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who turned off the gravity? *and he slowly floats up, poking at Ozy. he's grinning. He's teasing.* Sheepy: Ozy: ...Ah? .... Uh. *He quick pats his hair down. ... It sticks up again, but moreso this time...* Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahahaha! You saw nothing!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I'm fairly certain I'm not blind yet! Sheepy: Bedi: ... *headtilt* ????????? Sheepy: Ozy: Don’t question it! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Too late, too late, what did we see- Arsé-kun: Lance: ALL Sheepy: Tristan: All? Sheepy: Tristan: Ahhh... so everything is darkness. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad, how sad. Arsé-kun: *Lancelot applies his hands to his own face. It is audible.* Sheepy: Tristan: ? Sheepy: Bedi: Did you have a bug on your face? Arsé-kun: Lance: How do we keep coming back to bugs??? Sheepy: Bedi: ...Um. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is it really bugging you that much? :D Sheepy: Tristan: *he turns his face towards Merlin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I suddenly feel as if my face will be shot off if I make another pun. Well, mite be. Sheepy: Tristan: .................. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, he seems annoyed. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What's he gonna do about it? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... *deep breaths, lancelot, you've got this* .. Nnnno. Sheepy: Satoru: That's too bad. Arsé-kun: Proto: Hei, 'Toru! *he squats down. hello down there!* Do you wanna come camping with us soon? :Dc Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Lance: We can't just go today! We would require set-up and- Arsé-kun: Merlin: We've prepared for trips in less time! We totally could. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, we haven't decided yet, but soon. Sheepy: Satoru: ......... Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Proto: Okay! Now I really am going, for real! *and he strolls out scene right* Sheepy: Satoru: Bye. Arsé-kun: *proto can be heard yelling at everyone else. "WHO WANTS TO CAMPING"* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... So I expect this camping trip will be much larger than the first one? Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Sheepy: Satoru: The last time some weirdo was there. Sheepy: Satoru: Sometimes he breaks into our house and steals our silverware. Sheepy: Satoru: Except it's not Yan Qing, who at least has a decent personality. Arsé-kun: *merlin snorts* Sheepy: Satoru: ? Sheepy: *Yan Qing is in the background, eating food that is not his.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Speaking of! Yan Qing, you weren't invited! Sheepy: Yan: Whaaaaat??? Sheepy: Yan: I basically live here now Sheepy: Yan: I'm bored. Arsé-kun: Merlin: hi bored Sheepy: Yan: Bring me along. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Does Haru know you're here..? Sheepy: Yan: Who's...OH. Haku. What does it matter if she doesn't? Sheepy: Yan: She doesn't care too much where I go or what I do. Arsé-kun: Lance: hm. Arsé-kun: Lance: ok. Sheepy: Yan: ANYWAY. Sheepy: Yan: Can I come? Sheepy: Bedi: Have you asked Haku? Sheepy: Yan: Who? ....OH. Haru. Nope! Sheepy: Bedi: But didn't you just- Sheepy: Yan: 'Specially since I don't know any Harus! Sheepy: Bedi:... Sheepy: Yan: I DO know a Haku, though. We talk sometimes. Man, I haven't seen her for years and years a....Hmmm, that's not Haku! Sheepy: Yan: Oh, Haku. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, have you at least told Vlad? Sheepy: Yan: Oh. *he clears his throat* HEY VLAD! IM GOING CAMPING! Arsé-kun: Vlad: YOU WILL DIE BY MY HAND! Sheepy: Yan: NOT FOR LONG! Sheepy: Yan: GET IN LINE! YOU'RE #355! Arsé-kun: Merlin: How unfortunate! I'm only #132! Sheepy: Yan: Aww, poor you... Sheepy: Yan: What did you want to kill me for again? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Sheepy: Bedi: You gave me a number a while back...#295. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You almost ran me over with a golf kart. In the hallway. Sheepy: Yan: Hey, I did beep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You beeped three feet away! Sheepy: Yan: Yeah, exactly. Sheepy: Bedi:.........*Stare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Master almost got run over by a golf kart!~♪ Sheepy: Bedi: *STAAAAAAARE* Sheepy: Yan: Hey, you had your number in line. Sheepy: Yan: And the original #1 hasn't killed me yet. Sheepy: *Bedi just has his usual, normally sincere smile plastered on his face, with a murderous glint in his eye...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Go get'em, babe. Sheepy: Yan: Cutting in line is inherently wrong and no decent person would cut in line. Sheepy: Yan: Therefore, if you kill me, you've cut 294 slots in line and you're level 294 in terms of being a bad person. However, your king's cutoff is 5, so your king would probably fire you. Sheepy: Bedi:...Merlin? Can knights be fired? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? M.. Maybe? Sheepy: Bedi: What level of a bad person am I? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You??? 1% at most! Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Let me be 356. *he slowly gets up, staring down Yan* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... And let me cut the line. Sheepy: Bedi: Is 1% a lot? *He’s beginning to worry...* Sheepy: Yan: Ehhhhh??? Sheepy: Yan: Why do you want to kill me?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Compared to 100%??? Hell no. *he shifts his chair in a bit. So Lancelot doesn't trip on it like an idiot* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...okay Sheepy: Yan: Why aren't you doing anything about this? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You've got like ten seconds to run, while he's formulating an answer! Sheepy: Yan: If you kill me, I'll tell Guinevere. Sheepy: Bedi: There's a flaw in that logic. Arsé-kun: Lance: Do it. I'm already awful, I've been firrrred, and the entire Round Table most likely want you dead. Sheepy: Yan: Why? Sheepy: Yan: I thought we were friends! Sheepy: Yan: Although, I suppose. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *magi mari voice* Remember, kids! Even best friends get angry at each other sometimes! Sheepy: Yan: I think? Sheepy: Tristan: *snore* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aww, shut up and take it like a man! *he.. doesn't drop the voice* Yew can do it, Yanny-kwun! Sheepy: Yan: Uhhhhh...hey! Advocating violence is wrong! Sheepy: Yan: Especially in front of his child! Repeat after me, kiddo! Violence is wrong! Sheepy: Satoru: There's around one and a half gallons of blood in the human body, and that's how much will be on the floor after Uncle Lance is done with you. Arsé-kun: *Merlin snorts, loudly. How classy of you.* Arsé-kun: *Even Lancelot seems startled by that, but only for a moment* Sheepy: Bedi: *He looks at Satoru nervously.* Sheepy: Yan: What?! Sheepy: Yan: I'm being bullied! Sheepy: Yan: Listen, if I have to die, I want it to be by the hands of someone pretty. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So we can all do it? Sheepy: Yan: Nah. Sheepy: Yan: Lancelot is a big no, Tristan maybe, you maybe, Bedivere ye-maybe. Sheepy: Yan: You aren't a fair example because you're a shapeshifter. Arsé-kun: *and just like that, the entire table is upset and insulted* Sheepy: Yan: You can look however you want. Sheepy: Yan: Lancelot looks like he's been dead for three days. Tristan could look nice with some work. Sheepy: Yan: Well, he already does. Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... Hhhe's not wrong. Sheepy: Yan: He clearly spends a lot of time preening himself but the obvious signs of constant worry and crying damage his look Sheepy: Yan: And Bedivere... Sheepy: Yan: Actually, if I comment you'll kill me. I don't want death. Sheepy: Yan: So instead: Lancelot, you should work on yourself more. Sheepy: Yan: Gawain has lots of skin care stuff so he's the guy to go to for that. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Why bother..? Sheepy: Yan: Eh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, no! *interruptingmerlin.jpeg* I won't kill you. *he looks remarkably nonchalant, but his hand is inching towards the silverware* Go on ahead. I wanna hear it. Sheepy: Yan: Whaaaat?? Sheepy: Yan: H-He's...okay??? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he picks up his silverware. and his plate. oh* What's your standards? Sheepy: Yan: *He's nervously eyeing the silverware* S...standards? Sheepy: Bedi:? Oh! My standards for a knight are-ah, you're talking to him. Sheepy: Yan: Uh. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What's your scale to compare to? Like, what's a one and what's a ten? *and he shoves pancake into mouth. food.* Sheepy: Yan: Hmmmmm. Sheepy: Yan: Well Sheepy: Yan: Tepes is a one. Sheepy: Yan: I don't really have a ten. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not even a nine? Sheepy: Yan: Hmmmmm. Sheepy: Yan: Well, Caligula's also a one. Sheepy: Yan: Gawain's a four. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So you don't like rugged looks? Is that what it is? You into dorito chins? Sheepy: Yan: Eh? Sheepy: Yan: Would you describe Gawain as rugged? Sheepy: Yan: I'd describe him more as...hm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a bit bigger in the lower face. Just a bit. Sheepy: Yan: Well, it's not that. Sheepy: Yan: Personality is a large part of your appearance. Sheepy: Yan: Your ugly traits can become ugly physical traits. Sheepy: Yan: And as a braggart who insults those around him and looks down upon people he doesn't consider up to snuff, that is translated into his appearanxe through body language and facial expressions. Sheepy: Yan: He might be higher if it weren't for that! Sheepy: Bedi: Appearance shouldn't matter in your standards. A pretty knight is not necessarily a strong knight! Sheepy: Bedi: What matters is his wit, physical capabilities, level of kindness, empathy, height, loyalty, responsibility, skill, determination, ability to work with others, independence, strictness, habits, social relations, willingness to learn, muscle build, ability to push past his limits- Sheepy: Yan: I'm not trying to pick a knight, I want a girlfriend! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here we go again! Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, are there standards for significant others? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Depends on the individual! Arsé-kun: Merlin: For example! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he gestures to Tristan* Somehow, yes. *to himself* Absolutely. *to Bedi* Of course you do! *to Lancelot* A certainty. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm. Sheepy: Bedi: I never thought about it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Obviously you have if you've put up with me this long! Sheepy: Bedi: Mmmm, well. Sheepy: Bedi: It's not really putting up with you. Sheepy: Bedi: This feels like the time I was told that all of those people who would ask me to marry them or said strange complimentary things to me were doing it because they were attracted to me... I feel that same sense of confusion. Sheepy: Bedi: "Was I supposed to know that?" Sheepy: Bedi: I assumed it was just a joke. Sheepy: Yan: I just felt you drop on my standards a bit. Arsé-kun: *Merlin hands Lancelot a knife in the background* Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Why am I not "1" to begin with? Sheepy: Bedi: Standards for people to date- but I'm already with Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: So I should be a one. Sheepy: Yan:......... Sheepy: Yan: This was about appearance! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah? But appearance doesn't matter... Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, help. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nah. I'm too far back in line to reach you. Sheepy: Yan: You're so cold! Sheepy: Yan: Why is everyone so mean today?? Sheepy: Tristan: *Snore* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not everyone! Sheepy: Yan: No, everyone! The dog tried to bite me and then you guys bullied me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not even unusual! Sheepy: Yan: It's not? Sheepy: Yan: I don't really remember. Sheepy: Yan: Just that there's free food and people I like here! Arsé-kun: *MEANWHILE in the background, events include: Mink and Satoru sharing cereal out of the box, Ozy ignoring everything in favor of sphinx kitten, distant Proto yelling (still), and Vlad passing through looking 110% done* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe you oughta work on that! Sheepy: Yan: Eh? I try, that's why I talk to Haku. Sheepy: Yan: Oh, but I won't tell you the issue! Sheepy: Yan: Nobody's allowed to know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And for the fourth time, Doppelganger can suck a wiggly dick. Sheepy: Yan: Just know that I've already improved a lot....mmm? I've told you? Sheepy: Yan: Oh, I guess so. Sheepy: Yan: But as I said, I've improved so I can go camping with you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nice! And look, you've survived the encounter with the line cutter. *he looks around. where the FUCK did lancelot go* Sheepy: Yan: Eh, you're right. Sheepy: Yan: I'm safe! Arsé-kun: Merlin: For now. Sheepy: Bedi: *He appears lost in thought...* Sheepy: Yan: If he tries to kill me later, I'll make it as unfun as possible. Sheepy: Yan: I'll lie down on the floor and cry. Arsé-kun: Minako: That'd probably stop him outright. *oh, there she is, next to Satoru* If you wanna make him miserable, use your presence concealment! You've got that, right? Sheepy: Yan: How would that help? Arsé-kun: Minako: Because he'll give up if he doesn't find you! Just don't hide in the water! Sheepy: Yan:....eh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's like some sort of shark. With guns. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But he's not a freak like Kay, and that's what counts! Sheepy: Yan: Oooohhh.. Sheepy: Yan: That's scary. Sheepy: Yan: Lancelot, too. Sheepy: Bedi:...... Arsé-kun: Minako: So when are we going, tomorrow? Sheepy: Bedi:...Huh? Oh, I don't know. Sheepy: Bedi: When do you think, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I try not to. Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: You don't want to go camping? Sheepy: Bedi: That's fine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not... ... R-slash-whoosh. I think we should go tomorrow. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, okay. ... What's r-slash-whoosh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A collection of people missing a joke. Whoosh. There it goes! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't see anything. Was it a bug? Arsé-kun: Minako: Nah, it was a bad joke. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *Proto burns rubber skidding back into the room. Squrrreaaaaaaaaaak! Where'd he get a clipboard from? Where'd he get broken glasses from??* Arsé-kun: Proto: I'm back!! I've asked everybody! Sheepy: Bedi: Thanks? Sheepy: Bedi: Who is coming? Arsé-kun: Proto: Lets see.. *he consults the checklist* Big Bro Caster, tiny king and everyone here were yeses. Avenger, Music Caster, Big Bro Alter and Dirt were maybes. Hyde's still banned. Arsé-kun: Proto: I am also sworn to not discuss that last one. Arsé-kun: Proto: Oh, and the old man. Arsé-kun: Proto: He's a maybe. If big bro Alters going, so's he. Sheepy: Bedi: Old man? Sheepy: Bedi: You mean Moriarty? Arsé-kun: Proto: Not that old. *uhhh* Satoru's other dad. Not Vlad. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah! Sheepy: Bedi: ...Hmm, is Master Eiji old? Sheepy: Bedi: He seems young compared to Merlin. Arsé-kun: Proto: Yeah, that's right. But he sounds older. Sheepy: Bedi: Well. I guess we should start to get ready... will it be too cold? Sheepy: Bedi: Considering it’s October. Sheepy: Satoru: Will we miss Halloween? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's actually gonna be surprisingly warm this week, and no. It's only the twenty.... uh.. What's today again? *he pauses to check his phone* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, that’s good. Sheepy: Satoru: Because Dad will be lonely if I’m not here for Halloween. Sheepy: Satoru. Dad likes Halloween. He likes sewing costumes and ornaments for it. Sheepy: Satoru: He’s very good at it. Arsé-kun: Minako: We didn't get to see much last year, so I hope there's more next week! Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: What will you be for Halloween? Arsé-kun: Minako: I don't know! I can never decide until the last minute! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: What about you, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm gonna be an Archer. Sheepy: Satoru:....? Sheepy: Satoru: Like Grandpa? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah, like him! Servants get different default outfits in different classes, so I'm gonna be what I'd look like as an Archer! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Bedi: You can be an Archer...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, no. But I can pretend to be! Sheepy: Bedi: Don't give up so easily! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't wanna be an Archer! If I have to be anything, I wanna be a Saber! Sheepy: Bedi: You can be anything you put your mind to! Just work hard towards your goal and you'll eventually accomplish it! Sheepy: Bedi: I believe in you!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Us being here right now is a testament to that! Sheepy: Satoru: I want to be a dinosaur. Sheepy: Satoru: But dinosaurs are dead. Sheepy: Satoru: So I have to settle on being a child instead. Sheepy: Satoru: And one day, thanks to Darwin, I'll evolve into a human being. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he ignores most of that. actively.* They don't have to be alive! It's just a costume! You can be (almost) anything you want. Sheepy: Satoru:..... Sheepy: Satoru:.......... Sheepy: Satoru:...........Minako? Arsé-kun: Minako: Yeah? Sheepy: Satoru: Were...were dinosaurs just people in costumes? Sheepy: Satoru:...... Arsé-kun: Minako: No, of course not. They were big lizards! I think Wizrad meant you can dress up AS one. Sheepy: Satoru: Even the pterodactyls were big lizards? Arsé-kun: Minako: Well, kinda, yeah! They're cousins! or something. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. But if I dress up as a dinosaur, Dad will kill me. Sheepy: Satoru: Dad killed the dinosaurs. He's very strong. Arsé-kun: Minako: I think he'd know the difference between you and a dinosaur! You're not dead! Sheepy: Satoru: The dinosaurs weren't either until he killed them. Arsé-kun: Minako: If a necromancer tried hard enough, could we have dinosaurs- Arsé-kun: Merlin: No Sheepy: Satoru: Jurassic park says don't do that. Sheepy: Satoru: If they come back, Dad can't kill them again. Sheepy: Yan: *Snrrrrk* Sheepy: Satoru: What's so funny...? Sheepy: Yan: Kiddo...dinosaurs existed millions of years ago. Sheepy: Satoru: So did Dad. Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, maybe you should teach him about history eventually! Sheepy: Satoru: Did he see the dinosaurs? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope! But Satoru, uh. The dinosaurs died way before people came around. Sheepy: Satoru: ? Sheepy: Satoru: But Dad is a vampire. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Doesn't matter. Romania as a whole wasn't around then! ... Is this too blunt? Sheepy: Satoru: But... Sheepy: Satoru: *He appears to be struggling to understand...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Your dad's younger than me, and I didn't even get to see the dinosaurs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But dragons, hoo! Sheepy: Satoru:......? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, dragons are just magical dinosaurs when it comes down to it. Sheepy: Satoru: Dad's named after a dragon. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So he's named after a big magic dinosaur! Sheepy: Satoru: But...he...didn't see dinosaurs? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Unless something happened in Romania that I don't know about! Sheepy: Satoru: But...if something happened in Romania... he could've fought the dinosaurs? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I guess so! Sheepy: Satoru: So then he killed the dinosaurs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The only one I'll confirm is he killed the Turks! Sheepy: Satoru: Because things did happen in Romania. If things hadn't happened in Romania, we wouldn't know about it. Sheepy: Satoru: That's where the bones come from. Sheepy: Bedi: Bones come from the ground. Sheepy: Satoru: Bones are like potatoes? Arsé-kun: Minako: Bones come from living things and eventually end up in the ground. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, but you pull them out of the ground, not the living thing. Sheepy: Satoru: Bones are root vegetables... Arsé-kun: Minako: What if it's a mole, smart guy!! Sheepy: Bedi: It dies underground. Arsé-kun: Minako: You can pull moles out of the ground! Sheepy: Bedi: What? Sheepy: Bedi: It decomposes. Sheepy: Bedi: Its bones are underground... Arsé-kun: Minako: They live in the ground!! Sheepy: Bedi: And that's okay. I support their decisions. Sheepy: Bedi: But that doesn't change the fact that dead things end up in the ground. Sheepy: Satoru: Moles are like potatoes. Arsé-kun: Proto: Moles are animals. Potatoes are not. And bones are not potatoes! Sheepy: Satoru: Potatoes have feelings. Sheepy: Satoru: You're actively hurting them. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// This kid just said "potatoes have feelings and you're actively hurting them'. i just put this here for gawains reaction, carry on Sheepy: Gawain:// He's right. Sheepy: Lucan:// that really happened Sheepy: Lucan:// i was the kid Arsé-kun: Kay:// ahbhbKHABSFLI;U37R872N INCREDIBLE Arsé-kun: Merlin:// But no i am being serious that was just said Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmm Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Camping trip is formally and officially tomorrow. Sheepy: Lucan:// who is going Arsé-kun: Merlin:// so many Sheepy: Lucan:// wow Sheepy: Gawain:// Who trusted you to babysit a kid? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I'm not the only person here!! Sheepy: Gawain:// Not for long with how kids are. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Are you implying children commit killing?? Sheepy: Gawain:// No Sheepy: Gawain:// They run around and hide. Sheepy: Gawain:// The other person is the kid right Arsé-kun: Lance:// no Sheepy: Gawain:// Oh. Sheepy: Gawain:// Lancelot is worse with kids. Arsé-kun: Lance:// I'm right here you asshole. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Fight fight fight Sheepy: Gawain:// Yes, and? Arsé-kun: *Lance grumbles as he comes back in, pocketing his phone and dropping back into his seat.* Sheepy: Satoru: It's Uncle Lance. Arsé-kun: Lance: mmmhm. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you know? Sheepy: Satoru: Dad killed a dragon. Arsé-kun: Lance: *grunt* Sheepy: Satoru: I agree. Sheepy: Satoru: Dad is that strong. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Sir Lancelot! Sheepy: Bedi: How are you feeling? Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... bit better. Sheepy: Bedi: That's good! *LATER THAT EVENING!* Arsé-kun: *Kay's obnoxious laughter can be heard long before anything else. oh no* Arsé-kun: Kay: You looked like a beetroot, wizard! Tomatos be damned, and your eyebrow was going to wiggle right off from twitching too much! Sheepy: Satoru: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: And... not not lamp... Fantastic! Sheepy: Satoru: He seemed nice. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, he was! Sheepy: Satoru: People who wear glasses usually are...like Grandpa. And...um...Jekyll. ... And... Sheepy: Satoru:....Grandpa. Arsé-kun: *Merlin, meanwhile, is glaring adamantium daggers at Fou- who is riding on Satoru's head- while holding the chewed-off leash from Mr. Pointy.* Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Merlin, did you have fun with your friend? Sheepy: Satoru: The shirtless one. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. I did. Sheepy: Satoru: That's good. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you see Mr. Kay's dog? It's a good dog. Arsé-kun: Kay: That'd be a weird dog. Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: T'was a horse, of course! Sheepy: Satoru: I like horses. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, Uncle Merlin. Sheepy: Satoru: Mr. Kay told me you had another name. Sheepy: Satoru: Instead of Uncle Merlin, do you want to be Uncle Dumb- Arsé-kun: *is someone barking or screaming? it's hard to tell sometimes. oh. it's... Lancelot, fulfilling his name as the mad dog. Arrrrr!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: oh no Sheepy: Satoru: Oh no? Arsé-kun: Merlin: What is it this time? Sheepy: Satoru: Instead of Uncle Merlin, do you want to be Uncle Dumb- Arsé-kun: *and the rest is drowned out by Kay downright howling with laughter.* Sheepy: Satoru: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Guinevere is going to have your head, Sir Kay. I'm going to let her. Sheepy: *Speaking of Guinevere, she rushes out to see them!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, Guin! Merlin's a dumbass and you knew that already! Sheepy: Satoru: *He parrots Kay* Sheepy: Guin: *Staaaaaare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Rest in peace Kay Ceinfarfog, your second life was full of alcohol, like your bloodstream. Sheepy: Guin: I'll deal with that later. What did Merlin do? Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, he lost the kid for who knows how long! I had to babysit! Sheepy: Guin: He did WHAT Sheepy: Satoru: He was with his friend. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It wasn't my fault!! Look at the le-- Look at Mr. Pointy's leash! *he holds it up* I didn't do this! Sheepy: Guin: Then who did?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: This little rat! *he grabs Fou by the scruff* Chewed right through it! Sheepy: Guin:............ Sheepy: Satoru: Fou is very nice and warm. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou? Sheepy: Satoru: I like Fou. He's my friend. He's fluffy like Lobo. Arsé-kun: Kay: And with that, I'm gonna head home! Good luck not being buried before camping, wizard! *and he skedaddles* Sheepy: Guin: I'm not done with you yet! Arsé-kun: Kay: I have a kid to feed! Sheepy: Guin: ...Then, go home. Sheepy: Satoru: He's okay. Arsé-kun: Kay: No objections! *goodbye, kay* Sheepy: Satoru: I'd talk to him again. Sheepy: Guin: Why didn't you try catching him the second the leash broke? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I didn't notice! Excuse me for holding a conversation?? Sheepy: Guin: And your conversation partner didn't notice at all? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Apparently not! Sheepy: Satoru: Fou led me to new friends. Sheepy: Satoru: You should meet them Sheepy: Satoru: There's Lamp and Not Not Lamp, but I think Not Lamp is a better name. Sheepy: Guin: You should've stayed with Merlin. Sheepy: Satoru:...? I followed Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou? *he is an innocent ANGEL* Sheepy: Satoru: He's very smart. Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he pops his head out the door* Welcome home, Satoru! Come on in, it's beginning to get cold. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay, Uncle Mozzy. *He puts his hands out* Fou, do you want to come inside? Arsé-kun: Fou: Kyuu! *he wiggles out of Merlin's hand and onto Satoru's head* Sheepy: Satoru: Okay, let's go inside. *He heads inside.* Sheepy: Guin: .......... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... I don't look it, but I am downright livid. I forgot I could get this angry. Sheepy: Guin: No, I understand. I feel the same way. Sheepy: Guin: But I can't punish Fou, even if he does know better, and explaining it to Satoru, well... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And do I have the Queen's permission to survive the night? Sheepy: Guin: I'm not angry at you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I expected to get the blame again. *he just. kicks at the lawn. nice* Sheepy: Guin: No, you can't prevent that. Sheepy: Guin: I'm not going to blame you. That's what the child leash is there for. Sheepy: Guin: And if that fur ball chewed through it... Sheepy: Guin: Now we know to be more careful in the future. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Knowing him, it was purely because I was involved. *he huffs* .... So did you know Kay knows how to embroider? I didn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also, today I learned Satoru can see ghosts for some reason? I'm going to pin blame on Rider for that one. Sheepy: Guin: In fact, he's never talked about ghosts at all. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe it's normal to him? It wouldn't seem strange that way. Sheepy: Guin: Maybe... Kay can embroider?? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Apparently?? Sheepy: Guin: Hmm...well, we should get inside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, yes, we don't want anyone to worry! Sheepy: Guin: Like Sir Bedivere, who... asked me every 30 minutes where you were, if you were okay, and when you would be back. Eventually it turned into "if you would be back". And then I had to restrain him from looking for you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I told him where I was going. He's been there before, it would have been fine. Sheepy: Guin: So I should let him go in the future? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just not alone! Arsé-kun: *in the background, Lance releases the Bedivere. Watch it run* Sheepy: *Bedi dashes over to Merlin and embraces him!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he makes a pained face. Heavy metal, right into his back* Yes, hello, Bedi..! Sheepy: Bedi: I remembered how you've been exhausted and weak recently and I realized that I'd left you all alone! I'm so, so sorry! I should've gone with you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's okay! It's okay, babe, it's fine..! Sheepy: Bedi: But what if something happened and you needed me? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *oh no, one of his weaknesses! puppy dog eyes! oh no!!* That would have been my own fault..! Sheepy: Bedi: But I still should be there for you...! I couldn't stop thinking about all of the terrible possibilities... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here's the worst advice hour! Just stop thinking about it! *he goes to pose and his back cracks* Ata! Sheepy: Bedi: Are you okay?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll live..! Sheepy: Bedi: Do you need to go inside? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, but I'd like to. Sheepy: Bedi: *He gently takes Merlin's hand and leads him in. Guin follows.* Sheepy: Bedi: Did you have fun? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. Did you know Kay can embroider? Sheepy: Bedi:...I want to embroider with Sir Kay. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...I mean...I'm sorry, that's selfish of me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. Sheepy: Bedi: Uh? Sheepy: Bedi: What do you mean? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's your friend, you wanna see him. Makes sense! Sheepy: Bedi: But you just got home and I'm sure there's things you want to talk about. Sheepy: Bedi: So I shouldn't ramble about myself. Arsé-kun: Merlin: All I want to do is punt a Beast into the stratosphere!! :D Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Did something happen? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fou was being a little rat. Nothing new. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. Sorry you went through that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can we buy him a muzzle? Sheepy: Bedi: ..Why? Arsé-kun: *Merlin holds up the leash again. He looks frustrated* Sheepy: Bedi: That looks familiar. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I spent over an hour looking for Satoru because he wandered off. Sheepy: Bedi: ......... Sheepy: Bedi: ?! Sheepy: Bedi: Fou chewed that off? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He sure didn't say he didn't! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm. Sheepy: Bedi: The next time you go out with Fou, I’ll come with you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Please. Sheepy: Bedi: And.....as punishment, I won't pet him. Sheepy: Bedi: As mucha s I want to. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's hard, isn't it? Sheepy: Bedi: I'd pet Lobo instead but he's really mean. Arsé-kun: *Merlin grabs a handful of his own hair and brushes Bedi's face with it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Close enough, isn't it?? Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Oh, yeah. Arsé-kun: Merlin: :< Sheepy: Bedi: It is!! Arsé-kun: *andersen makes a gagging noise in the background* Sheepy: Satoru: Throwing up is bad for your health. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Thank you, Captain Obvious. Sheepy: Satoru: That's not my name. My name is Satoru. Sheepy: Satoru: We've met before, but it's nice to meet you again. Arsé-kun: Andersen: I was addressing that you said something obvious in a sarcastic manner. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm not very good with sarcasm. Arsé-kun: Andersen: It's the tone and facial expression. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Andersen: So, *and with as much sarcasm as he can muster* thank you Captain Obvious, I never would have known that!!!! Sheepy: Satoru: You're welcome. Arsé-kun: Andersen: :I Sheepy: Satoru: Did I respond improperly? Arsé-kun: Andersen: That was sarcasm. If I had said "Thank you for teaching me that," it would not have been sarcastic. Sheepy: Satoru: Then how do I respond to sarcasm? Arsé-kun: Andersen: More sarcasm, ignoring it, telling them to stop speaking, whatever you want. Sheepy: Satoru: But why? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Because it's usually rude. Sheepy: Satoru: Rudeness doesn't bother me. Sheepy: Satoru: I never notice it. Arsé-kun: Andersen: I've noticed. Sheepy: Satoru: But isn't it better that way? Sheepy: Satoru: If it doesn't hurt me, it doesn't really matter. Arsé-kun: Andersen: And if it hurts someone else? Sheepy: Satoru: It matters then. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Fair enough, I suppose. Sheepy: Satoru: What? Arsé-kun: Andersen: You think others have more value than yourself? Is that it? Sheepy: Satoru: It's just that it doesn't bother me. And it won't. So if people say hurtful things to me, it doesn't matter. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Are you aware of the power you wield? Any one of your servants can deal with it for you. Sheepy: Satoru:...... Sheepy: Satoru: It doesn't matter. Sheepy: Satoru: It doesn't bother me. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Bullshit. Sheepy: Satoru: It doesn't... Arsé-kun: Andersen: Buuuuuullshit! Sheepy: Satoru: *His eyes widen fearfully when Andersen raises his voice... just briefly, before they return to their usual blank stare* It doesn't matter. It doesn't. I don't care what people say. It's fine. Sheepy: Satoru: They can't help. Arsé-kun: Andersen: By that alone, you're lying. Not everyone hates you. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm not lying... I'm not... Arsé-kun: Andersen: The ugly duckling thought it was fine, too, and that everyone was right. And you know what? They weren't. Sheepy: Satoru:..... Sheepy: Satoru: I-I don't care...it doesn't matter. Sheepy: Satoru: I can't do anything about it. Arsé-kun: Andersen: You have control of some of the most powerful servants, and you can't do anything? Sheepy: Satoru: I can't... Sheepy: Satoru: They can't help, they can't. Nobody can. So it doesn't matter. That's just how life is. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Avengers of all people listen to you, and they hate humans. You're better than that. Sheepy: Satoru: It's better this way. Arsé-kun: Andersen: The little match girl was less depressing than this, and she lived on the street. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Andersen: For what, breathing? Sheepy: Satoru:...Uh... Sheepy: Satoru: ....I shouldn't disagree with you, you know better... Arsé-kun: Andersen: No, by all means, go ahead. Sheepy: Satoru: No, no. Arsé-kun: Andersen: ... You know what? *he sticks a bookmark into his book and flips it a couple hundred pages forward. Blank page* I have a better idea. Sheepy: Satoru: What...? Sheepy: *Satoru is watching Hans very closely.* Arsé-kun: Andersen: I think I have an idea for a tale. Take a seat somewhere. You're closest, you're today's editor. Sheepy: Satoru: *He slowly sits down on the floor* Sheepy: Satoru:...okay. Sheepy: Satoru: *He doesn't take his eyes off of Andersen, however. He's clutching his knees close to his chest.* Arsé-kun: *Andersen doesn't address the previous discussion once. He's writing a whole bunch* Sheepy: *And Satoru doesn't take his eyes off of Andersen.* Arsé-kun: Andersen: *he glances up* Yes? Sheepy: Satoru: Nothing. Arsé-kun: Andersen: If you say so. Do you think raccoons are bigger than bats? Sheepy: Satoru: Depends on the bat. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Hm? Sheepy: Satoru: Dad is the biggest bat. Arsé-kun: Andersen: But how big is big? Sheepy: Satoru: *He outstretches his arms* So big. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Bigger than a raccoon, then, thank you. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Good to know. Sheepy: Satoru: Why? Arsé-kun: Andersen: I'm trying to think of a good antagonist, but a raccoon could be too small. Sheepy: Satoru: They're fluffy. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Well, yes. Rats are also too small.. Sheepy: Satoru: Rats are fluffy. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Y, yes, thank you. Sheepy: Satoru: You're welcome. Sheepy: Satoru: Fou is fluffy too. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou! Sheepy: Satoru: *He pets Fou* Arsé-kun: Fou: :D Sheepy: Satoru: Fou, did you have fun today? It's my first time I met somebody named Lamp. Sheepy: Satoru: He seemed nice. Sheepy: Satoru: Mr. Kay was nice, too. Sheepy: Satoru: So was Not Not Lamp and Mr. Ghost. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou! Fou! Arsé-kun: *ok this is boring NEXT DAY* Arsé-kun: *'Merlin, Bedivere, Lancelot, Guinevere, Tristan, Lucan, Ozymandias, Prototype Cu, Caster Cu, Alter Cu, Ko-Gil, Enkidu, Angra, Mozart, Yan Qing, Eiji, Satoru, and Minako' is the final list of who is going camping. Everyone is outside already* Arsé-kun: Proto: Are we all here yet? Are we? When are we going? Sheepy: Tristan: *Snore* Sheepy: Satoru: I want to find bugs. Arsé-kun: Angra: Me too! Lets find the biggest bug we can, Master! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: It'll be so big. Arsé-kun: Angra: The biggest Sheepy: Bedi: Is everyone ready? Sheepy: Lucan: I want to go back to work. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: It does seem like we are ready. Sheepy: Bedi: Then, let's head out! Arsé-kun: *varying cheers* Sheepy: *The group heads to the woods to camp!* Sheepy: Satoru: You're so tall. Arsé-kun: Acu: .. So what? Sheepy: Satoru: What? Sheepy: Satoru: The taller you are, the less dogs you can pet without having to lean down. Sheepy: Cascu: You hear that? How many dogs can you pet, Alter? Arsé-kun: Acu: Did you say something? This weapon cannot hear you from your lowered height. Sheepy: Cascu: Oh, shaddup! Sheepy: Cascu: You're not deaf! Or a weapon for that matter. Sheepy: Cascu: Weapons don't carry around children and the disabled. Sheepy: Cascu: Anyway, what's that squishy looking version of you that the kid has? Sheepy: Cascu: I've seen it before, but what is it? Arsé-kun: Acu: Hell if I know. Sheepy: Satoru: He's my friend. *He hugs Mini Cu-chan* Sheepy: Cascu: Ain't that descriptive! So nobody knows. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm right here, you pervy hound-dog! What's this hippie doing here? Sheepy: Cascu: I'm no hippie! Sheepy: Satoru: You're soft like Fou. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Damn right. Sheepy: Satoru: Do you like bugs? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: They're itchy and they rip my seams apart. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? I'll tell them not to. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: You do that. Sheepy: Satoru: What do you like? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Destroying my enemies. Sheepy: Satoru: That's an okay hobby. Arsé-kun: *in the bg, enkidu's stopped. this is a nice spot. he likes this spot* Sheepy: Kogil: Enkidu? Are we staying here? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I think here would be the most optimal spot, yes. Sheepy: Kogil: Then let's set up camp here. Sheepy: *Lucan quickly rushes over and gets to work.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oooor he can just do it, that's fine too! Sheepy: Bedi: Do you want help- Sheepy: Lucan: No, I'm fine. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if you say so. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How long do we give him before we join him? Ten minutes? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: ............ Sheepy: Bedi: Five. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Four. Sheepy: Bedi: Three. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Right now. Sheepy: Bedi: *He picks up some of what needs to be set up and joins Lucan.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin watches him and sighs before joining in* Sheepy: Lucan: I don't need help. Arsé-kun: Merlin: If we want it done before nightfall you do! Sheepy: Lucan: Ah, fine. Arsé-kun: *hooray, tent setting!* Sheepy: *yayyy* Arsé-kun: *yaaay* Sheepy: Bedi: We're done. Sheepy: Lucan: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Satoru: Which tent do you want? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Huh? You're a Master, you pick first. Sheepy: Satoru: I don't care. Sheepy: Satoru: Any one is fine. Sheepy: Bedi: ...Are you sure?? Sheepy: Satoru: Any one is fine. Sheepy: Cascu: We probably should figure out roommates, yeah? Arsé-kun: Proto: Tentmates! *o boy o boy o b* Sheepy: Yan: There's only one lady here who fits my criteria and she's taken. Siiiiiigh.... Sheepy: Yan: I want to share a tent with someone hot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sorry, I'm already with Bedi! Sheepy: Cascu: Oi, I'm sharing with Proto and Alter. There's no room for you to share oje with me. Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, you're not hot. Nor are you, Caster. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm beautiful. Sheepy: Yan: Yea, but I don't want to room with you! Sheepy: Yan: Bedi, hmmmmm. Sheepy: Yan: Anyway. Sheepy: Lucan: If you ask to room with me based on my appearance I will personally escort you head-first into the nearest lake. Sheepy: Yan:....Um. Not you! Sheepy: Yan: You aren't attractive to me anyway! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't care who I'm with. Arsé-kun: Angra: Ehehe! He's got less guts than you! *he elbow-bumps Lucan* Sheepy: Lucan: Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Mozart: *god help me.* Sheepy: Eiji:....Uh...I, I...n-nevermind. Arsé-kun: Minako: :I Sheepy: Eiji: Y-you look angry...I..uh...I didn't... I d-didn't mean to upssset you...! Arsé-kun: Minako: Not at you! Sorry, didn't mean to worry you either! I'm just expecting... *she looks towards Yan. She's expecting it.* Sheepy: Yan: Ew. No. Sheepy: Yan: Sorry, you're not my type. Arsé-kun: Minako: Great! So what you're saying is you're going to perish alone? Sheepy: Yan: Eh? Sheepy: Yan: No! Sheepy: Yan:..... Arsé-kun: Minako: Who's gonna say yes? Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, choose for me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No way! Sheepy: Yan: You're a wizard! Sheepy: Yan: You do your thing! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You want me to fuck? Sheepy: Yan: Help! Me! Choose! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: No need for that. I would not mind your presence. Sheepy: Yan: Really?! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Really. Just do not try anything with the young king. Sheepy: Yan: Great, by your request, I'll completely ignore him! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh....how sad... Sheepy: Tristan: How sad...! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: :) How absolutely terrible. Sheepy: Kogil: Hmm? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Oh, I'm sorry, my lord. I didn't ask you- Are you all right with dealing with Assassin? Sheepy: Kogil: Oh, it's fine. Sheepy: Kogil: I kinda thought Ozy would be with us, but it'd be too cramped! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I can reduce my size. It should be fine. Sheepy: Kogil: Based on my understanding, we have the groups: Sheepy: Kogil: The three Cu Chulainns, Merlin&Bedivere, presumably Lancelot&Guinevere, us, and then everyone else needs a place. Sheepy: Lucan: Don't join Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: Hm... Sheepy: Bedi: Sorry, I would invite you, but, ah... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But our Master needs somewhere to stay, too! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I'll take Satoru. It's simple that way. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Yeah, sure. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: *Satoru seems pleased!* Arsé-kun: Minako: And with that, the only one left is... Well, I guess I'm with Lucan. Sheepy: Tristan: I suppose I'll be alone. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... Arsé-kun: Lance: *he plops a hand on Tristan's shoulder* No. Sheepy: Guin: You can stay with us. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...ah...*Sob* Sheepy: Tristan: Thank you... Sheepy: Tristan: How happy I am...! Arsé-kun: *Tristan being happy makes Lancelot happy* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ...? *he looks further into the forest. Something's gotten his attention* Sheepy: Kogil: What is it? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Servant in close range, inbound. Sheepy: Bedi: *He readies Airgetlam* Sheepy: *Yan hums before taking out a candy bar and pulling back his arm* Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he tilts his head and listens, before turning and giving Yan a questioning look* Sheepy: *Whoever it is is running towards the group!* Arsé-kun: Mozart: ... Oh, for the love of the Queen. Why is he here? Sheepy: *...They burst into view! It's Salieri! Who begins to shout Mozart's name before being smacked in the face with a candy bar.* Sheepy: Salieri: Ugh! Sheepy: Yan: Eat this. You aren't you when you're sugar deprived. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: You aren't you wh- You bastard! Sheepy: Yan: Hahahah. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'll take your arm off! Sheepy: Salieri: *He turns his attention to the candy bar.* Sheepy: Yan: Why!? Sheepy: *Salieri doesn't seem to care about Mozart's presence.* Sheepy: Yan: There's other sweets he likes more. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Do tell. Sheepy: Yan: Gelatin. Like, the thing that's like ice cream but isn't. Sheepy: Yan: But I don't carry that on me! Arsé-kun: Mozart: Who would..? Sheepy: Yan: OK, I've divulged too much info~ Sheepy: Salieri: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare anyone if I did. Arsé-kun: Mozart: We had prior warning. Sheepy: Salieri: My friend, how are you? Arsé-kun: Mozart: I've been well. Arsé-kun: *Mozart seems surprised, almost stunned.* Sheepy: Salieri:....? Sheepy: Salieri: I’m not going to attack you. Arsé-kun: Mozart: .... It's really you this time? Sheepy: Salieri: Yes, it is. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Well, shit! *He drops his guard and strolls over to Salieri, throwing an arm around the avenger's shoulder. He is pleased* Sheepy: Salieri: *He returns the gesture, giving Mozart a small smile.* Arsé-kun: *Mozart gains +100000 to happy stat. Merlin's flowers are blooming next to him.* Sheepy: Satoru: Is he joining us? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It seems that way. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay, great. Sheepy: Salieri: ...Joining you for what? Arsé-kun: Mozart: We're out camping! Sheepy: Salieri: I wouldn't want to invite myself. Arsé-kun: Mozart: You're invited. Sheepy: Salieri: Really? You don't mind? Arsé-kun: Mozart: Why would I? Arsé-kun: Mozart: We all have those days! :) *he's acting like it's no big deal, but of course, it is a big deal. He's very unhappy about that being brought up.* Sheepy: Salieri: ...Do we. Sheepy: Satoru: I don't have those days. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I'm glad you don't. Sheepy: Satoru: But you don't either. Arsé-kun: Mozart: But I can understand it. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Okay. Sheepy: Cascu: Hmmm, what to do first~ Arsé-kun: Acu: Die. Arsé-kun: Proto: Hunting? Should we go hunting? Sheepy: Cascu: I'm not going to just go camping to die! Let's go hunting. Arsé-kun: Acu: Hunting what? *he drags himself to his feet, hand on spear* Sheepy: Cascu: Uh. Sheepy: Cascu: Animals? Sheepy: Bedi: !!! Sheepy: Bedi: I like to hunt as well. Sheepy: Bedi: I can help. Arsé-kun: Acu: Sure, I guess. Sheepy: Bedi: I can help you find edible creatures! Sheepy: Lucan: Why do you say creatures and not animals? Sheepy: Bedi: ....Merlin? Are the eyeball creatures animals? Sheepy: Lucan: I highly doubt those live in the woods. Sheepy: Bedi: What separates insects from animals? Arsé-kun: Merlin: They're not animals! They're not insects either!! Sheepy: Bedi: What are they then? Arsé-kun: Acu: Killable. Sheepy: Bedi: Nutritious. Sheepy: Lucan: Filthy, abomination, disgusting. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's looking a his phone..* Gazers are classified as demonic beings. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, I see Sheepy: Lucan: How do you have service out here? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The town's not that far? Sheepy: Bedi: He's very skilled! *His eyes have lit up.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: If the town wasn't close by, then I'd be boosting the signal myself! I AM the wifi router! Sheepy: Bedi: Wow! *He is actually excited about this.* Sheepy: Lucan: Uhuh. Arsé-kun: Acu: what's the wifi password. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What password? Arsé-kun: Acu: *he slowly types on his phone* that worked, thanks. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ¿¿¿¿¿Eh????? Sheepy: Lucan: What's the case of each letter? Sheepy: Bedi:? Arsé-kun: Acu: All lowercase. Sheepy: Lucan: Oh, thanks. Sheepy: Lucan: Great. I can work on the taxes from here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks downright confused* Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, what are they talking about? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is that what I set the password to..? Sheepy: Bedi: Password? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I forgot I set a password on the wifi booster... ... I don't remember how I did that Arsé-kun: Merlin: But who cares! Hunting time! Sheepy: Bedi: Well, okay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good luck! Have fun! Bring back something edible by a human child! Sheepy: Bedi: Hm? Sheepy: Bedi: Satoru needs better nutrition in his diet. Sheepy: Guin: No. Sheepy: Lucan: Bedi, how did your kids survive? Sheepy: Bedi: I didn't have any. You did - two. Sheepy: Lucan: I don't have kids, you have kids! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I think we'd know if Bedi had kids. But yours did? That's sweet. Tell me more about it later. Sheepy: Lucan: Eh? Yeah, a son and a daughter. Arsé-kun: Acu: What a hunting party this is. *he starts pulling off excess armor. He's not gonna need all of it. The tail stays.* Sheepy: Lucan: Hey, he asked. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I said later! Sheepy: Lucan: Well, fine, later. ... Since when am I going hunting? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Since right now! Sheepy: Lucan: Ugh.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's work, isn't it? Sheepy: Lucan: Is it really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You gotta work for food, don't you? Sheepy: Lucan: Hm... Sheepy: Lucan: Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: If Sir Bedivere strikes the prey with Airgetlam, it'll be instantly cooked. Sheepy: Bedi: That's not its purpose. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We already tried that anyway. It just hurts a lot and then they die. Sheepy: Tristan: But they don't cook instantly? Arsé-kun: Merlin: They don't. Sheepy: Tristan: We could've used it for lobster or crab... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay! Enough chatter! Off you go, brave hunters! Sheepy: Bedi: You aren't coming? Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're not all needed, are we? Sheepy: Bedi: No. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Great! *he turns on his heel and heads into a tent. oh* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah.....well, let's go then. *He heads off.* Arsé-kun: Acu: Finally. *he follows Bedi, already looking around* Sheepy: Cascu: *He follows Acu. Lucan, disgruntled, follows Cascu.* Arsé-kun: Proto: *he drags miserably into view, with a bunch of arrows stuck in him* Good luck, you guys. All I managed was to scare the forest hobo. Sheepy: Lucan: Oh dear.. Arsé-kun: Proto: Protection from arrows does not work passively. I gotta remember that this time. Sheepy: Cascu: You didn't know that? Arsé-kun: Proto: I'm usually able to dodge 'em when I hear 'em! *he sorta shrugs* Arsé-kun: *in the background, Acu just drops his tail into the river. It's not like he's doing anything ELSE* Sheepy: Lucan: Bedi's out chasing who knows what. Sheepy: Lucan: So meanwhile..... Sheepy: Cascu: This spot's relaxing. It'd be good for fishing. Sheepy: Lucan: How boring. Sheepy: Lucan: I was promised an adventure. Arsé-kun: Acu: You want it right now? Sheepy: Lucan: Really? I can!? Arsé-kun: Acu: Sure. Sheepy: Lucan: Of course I do! Arsé-kun: Acu: Do you want to see the middle of the forest up close? Sheepy: Lucan: Of course. Arsé-kun: Acu: And you haven't taken any injuries as of late? Sheepy: Lucan: That's an oddly specific question... Arsé-kun: Acu: I'm just checking. Sheepy: Lucan: I won't be a liability. Arsé-kun: Acu: Great. Go see it for yourself. *and he just. Picks up Lucan before throwing him into the horizon. Buh-bye.* Sheepy: *Lucan lets out a scream.* Arsé-kun: *Byeeee, Lucaaaan!* Sheepy: Cascu: Huh. Arsé-kun: Acu: He's the forest's problem now. *and he plops down, looking back at the river. Are the fish biting?* Sheepy: Cascu: Oh, uh. Sheepy: Cascu: What if he dies? Arsé-kun: Acu: From what? He's a servant. Landing in branches won't kill you unless it decapitates you. Sheepy: Cascu: Oh, true. Arsé-kun: *Acu pulls up his tail. Oh, fish!* Sheepy: Cascu: Good job! Sheepy: *Cascu joins Acu in fishing.* Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, Mozart just looks done. He's done already, homies, he's so done* Arsé-kun: Mozart: It's been an hour and someone is already screaming. What a fantastic load of shit. Someone kick my ass and call me Doug Dimmadome. Sheepy: Satoru: *He slowly looksbup from poking the ground with a stick* ..Uh? Sheepy: Eiji: ...D-Doug... Dim...Dim... Dimm- Uh...Uh ... Doug? Wh-why call you th-that? Sheepy: Eiji:...Sorry...Wh-who ssscreamed?! *Seems likr he just registered that part.* Arsé-kun: Mozart: Because his character is a load of crap, and it was either Bedivere or Lucan. Sheepy: Eiji:!!! Sheepy: Eiji: *He slowly picks himself up off the ground, an expression of pain spreading across his face, before beginning to hobble over to Merlin's tent.* Sheepy: Eiji: M-Merlin... Sheepy: Satoru: It was probably just a bug. Sheepy: Satoru: Or a snake. Sheepy: Satoru: I doubt we should be concerned, Uncle Mozzy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he rolls over and drowsily looks at Eiji* Ye..? Sheepy: Eiji: Uh...He...uh, he said th-that he heard, um, a scream....and...you know, it's eith-either Bedi...Bediv- Bedi or Lucan. Sheepy: Eiji:...and n-neither are here... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... s'not Bedi.. *he yawns* Sheepy: Eiji:...H-how do you know? Arsé-kun: Merlin: 'd feel it.. Sheepy: Eiji:....? Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he sticks his head in* Well, that scream got real distant, real rapidly! Sheepy: Eiji: Sh-should we, um... Sheepy: Eiji: Do s-something? Arsé-kun: Mozart: Maybe? Sheepy: Eiji: M-maybe he was...was fleeing from a mon...monster. Sheepy: Eiji: Or... Arsé-kun: Mozart: Or chasing something? But it didn't sound like a war cry... Sheepy: Eiji:...W-we need to- to, uh, you know, find him. Sheepy: Satoru: *He pokes his head in, followed by one of Salieri's reapers, who's curiously imitating his movements as best as it can* He's probably dead. Sheepy: Satoru: Too bad. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Dead or actually dead? Sheepy: Satoru: Is there a difference? Sheepy: Satoru: When people die, they sleep for a while and then wake up. Sheepy: Satoru: So Choochoo is still out there somewhere. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's only servants, and even then not always... Sheepy: Satoru: I don't know any servants. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....... With a capital S, Satoru. Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, Lance has already started pacing the perimeter. Is it worry? Fear? Anger?* Sheepy: Tristan: What’s wrong? Arsé-kun: Lance: *he utters a low growl* Some.. thing happened.... Sheepy: Tristan: If we need to go, I don't mind. Arsé-kun: *Lance grumbles and looks towards the woods before considering his helmet. Hm* Sheepy: Tristan: I can help. Sheepy: Tristan: My harp can track anyone. Arsé-kun: Lance: *he nods. tristan, you are allowed* Sheepy: *Tristan takes out his harp. He focuses before beginning to walk deeper into the forest.* Arsé-kun: Proto: Hi! *he's still got those arrows stuck in him* Where are you guys going? The hunting parties are coming back! Sheepy: Tristan: Towards the scream we heard. Sheepy: Tristan: Or perhaps. Sheepy: Tritan: "He heard". Sheepy: Tristan: I am not part of "we". Arsé-kun: Proto: Oh, I was there! Big Bro Alter got annoyed and sent Lucan on an adventure! Sheepy: Tristan: .......... Sheepy: Tristan: Not very far, right? Arsé-kun: Proto: No! Sheepy: Tristan: Then let's go get him. Arsé-kun: Proto: Just don't scare the forest hobo! Arsé-kun: Lance: Don't get distrrrrracted.. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...yes...we must find Sir Lucan. Sheepy: Bedi: Why are you looking for Lucan? Arsé-kun: Lance: Arh! *he jumps and nearly smacks Bedi with a nearby tree branch. You gave him a frighten* Sheepy: Bedi:! Sheepy: Bedi: It's just me! Arsé-kun: Proto: You and whatever this is! *he pushes whatever Bedi hunted down. Whatever that is* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, this? Sheepy: Bedi: It's food. Sheepy: *...By all appearances, whatever it is is not something one would consider edible, let alone tasty.* Arsé-kun: Lance: .... *he puts his helmet on and gurgles. Thank your for your opinion* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! You seem excited about it! Sheepy: Tristan: Hm? Sheepy: Bedi: You see, the most nutritious part of it is the head. Sheepy: Tristan: I want bear. Arsé-kun: Lance: IIII wanna goooo. Sheepy: Bedi: Don't complain about food. You don't know when you won't have any. Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot, let's forget about Sir Lucan and get bear. Arsé-kun: *Lance hisses at Tristan. He seems to disagree.* Sheepy: Tristan:...Sir Lucan and then a bear? Arsé-kun: Lance: ▂▂! Sheepy: Tristan: Fine. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Arsé-kun: *Lance puts a hand on Failnaught. Lets gooooooo!* Sheepy: *Tristan continues on his way, now towards Lucan.* Arsé-kun: *Lance follows him, looking around for potential threats* Sheepy: Tristan: Hm...His location is moving, so he's alive. Arsé-kun: Acu: What are you two jokes doing? Dowsing for the fastest way to die? I would assist, but I'm busy. *because he's carrying a big ol' basket of fish. fishing!* Sheepy: Tristan: Trying to find our friend, who you could've gotten killed. Sheepy: Cascu: Oof. That's rough, pal. Arsé-kun: Acu: He said yes to it. It's his problem now. Sheepy: Cascu: It's more loke he said yes to going on an adventure, not being thrown into a new dimension. Arsé-kun: Acu: That is an adventure. Sheepy: Cascu: Well, you're not wrong. Sheepy: Tristan: .... Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... Sheepy: Tristan: He died as he lived... Sheepy: Tristan: Being thrown into situations he couldn't control. Arsé-kun: Acu: Try not to feel too bad. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! Sheepy: Cascu: This guy cries more than a baby does. Sheepy: Cascu: That's more fitting for Master's little chick... Arsé-kun: Acu: Hands off. *he pulls the basket away from Lancelot, who was Very Slowly reaching for it. But he's too late, and Lancelot has armed himself with a big ol' fish.* Arsé-kun: *This is, in fact, a suitable weapon for a one-time use. Reinforcing it with Knight of Owner will make it last longer, and do more damage. It does not prevent the fish-slap sound as Acu gets bombarded with a Noble Phantasm-level fish.* Sheepy: Tristan:....? Sheepy: Tristan: How sad...! Not only did he kill Sir Lucan, he also killed an innocent fish! Sheepy: Cascu: What the-?!! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: *they came to check out what was happening. Step one: Do not laugh. Fail miserably.* Sheepy: Cascu: OI! You can't just hit my friend like that! Sheepy: Cascu: Do you realize how much time it took us to fish those up?! Sheepy: Cascu: And then you just go ahead and hit him! Just like that! Against a rock! Arsé-kun: Lance: ▃▅▅▅▂▃▅!!! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Oh, allow me to translate Berserker. He says he's angry that his own friend was harmed. Sheepy: Cascu: Yeah, and he just eviscerated mine by hitting it against Alter! Sheepy: Cascu:.....*Snrrrk* Sheepy: Cascu: I really don't care. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: How cruel you are! *they giggle. Enkidu is enjoying this* Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot. Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot, we must go soon. Arsé-kun: *Lance stops mid-swing and stares at Tristan, remembering that yes, there is something more important than getting a Fish Kill.* Sheepy: Tristan: We have to go. Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... *he smacks Acu one, last time before putting the fish back in the basket* ... Rrrrrrright.. Sheepy: Tristan: The sooner we find him, the more time you can spend with Lady Guinevere. Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, there is a high probability that Acu has just died standing up, which means I can say! FISH KILL!*

Arsé-kun: Lance: ! Arsé-kun: *Lance grabs Tristan by the arm and runs off. Adios!* Sheepy: *The two head towards Lucan's location !* Arsé-kun: *Acu recovers due to Guts, meanwhile. haha. guts. hahaha* Sheepy: *hahaha* Arsé-kun: Acu: ....... What just happened. Sheepy: Cascu: You got decimated by a fish. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... *he looks away* Still better than being beaten because we saw boobs. Sheepy: Cascu: Mm, true. Arsé-kun: Acu: Not a word about this, or I'll put your head on the wall. Sheepy: Cascu: Sure, I won't. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'll simply omit names. :D Sheepy: Cascu: Yikes, do you have a death wish? Sheepy: Cascu: Anyway...let's go back. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'm sure the fish will be widely appreciated! Sheepy: Cascu: Yes, as opposed to that...thing. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Ah, that.. Sheepy: Cascu: What IS that? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I believe I have heard it be referred to as a "Soul Eater" Sheepy: Cascu: Disgusting. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: If a human eats it and it ate human souls, does it count as cannibalism? Sheepy: Cascu:....... Sheepy: Cascu: He might try to make Master or Master's little chick eat it if we don't go back soon.. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... Then shut your mouth and get moving. Sheepy: Cascu: *He huffs and rushes for the camp* Sheepy: Bedi: --It's full of nutrients! Sheepy: Guin: Nobody is eating that! It looks horrible! Sheepy: Bedi: *He holds up some strange vegetables* I was going to make a soup out of it. Arsé-kun: Minako: Even I'm not eating that!! Sheepy: Bedi: You shouldn't be so picky. Sheepy: Bedi: Repeat after me! Sheepy: Bedi: King Arthur Rule #3: You can never afford to be picky! What matters is its nutritious value! Sheepy: Guin: No!! Sheepy: Satoru: You can never afford to be nutritious. What matters is its picky value. Sheepy: Bedi: Um...Y-yes, that too Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Bedi, babe, while we could eat it, I don't think it's great for humans! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm? Sheepy: Bedi: ...Why not? Sheepy: Eiji: *He's fearfully staring at the soul eater corpse.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Demon flesh isn't great for you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And anyway, where did you find that??? Sheepy: Bedi:...Then what do we do with this? Sheepy: Bedi:...Huh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Those aren't native!! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, uh... *He points deeper into the forest* Sheepy: Bedi: I found those vegetables there, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Those are fine. Sheepy: Bedi: But what do I do with this? Sheepy: Bedi: It was all alone. Sheepy: Bedi: Are they solitary creatures? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uhhh. I mean, I guess we could use the fur, but that's the only usable thing. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sometimes? Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, fur is warm! Sheepy: Bedi: If Lobo was here, he could eat it. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Could we donate it for the sciences..? Sheepy: Cascu: WE'VE GOT FISH! Sheepy: Bedi: But... Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'm gonna ask again! If something that eats human souls is eaten by a human, is it cannibalism? Sheepy: *The sound of horse hooves approaches!* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ..! Two servants in range, inbound! Sheepy: Satoru: The answer is horse Sheepy: *Buddy gallops into view! Griflet is upon his back.* Sheepy: *Cascu readies his staff.* Arsé-kun: *and so is Kay, who is holding onto Grif like his life depended on it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, it's just you guys! What nonsense are you up to this time? Sheepy: Griflet: You stole from me. Sheepy: Griflet: It's mine. Return it. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Do we really need that thing??? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm trying not to! The less I know, the better off I'll be at the end of it! Sheepy: Griflet: The only thing the beast will accept to allow me to finish my quest is the corpse of that Soul Eater. Arsé-kun: Acu: Take it. Get it out of our sight. Sheepy: Griflet: That way, it will fight me to the death and return the maiden of this forest. Weren't you listening? Sheepy: Griflet:...I can have it? Is this a trap? Arsé-kun: Acu: Take it before it gets cooked. No one wants that. Sheepy: Griflet: ....*He slowly unsheathes his sword and slips off of Buddy, hesitantly approaching the Soul Eater and glaring daggers at the group.* Sheepy: *Griflet grabs it and starts dragging it back to Buddy, not taking his eyes off the group.* Arsé-kun: Kay: You expect the poor horse to carry that ugly bastard?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, the horse is carrying you, isn't it! Sheepy: Griflet: Hm... Sheepy: Griflet: Kay. Sheepy: Griflet: You carry it. Then Buddy doesn't have to. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not carrying that. Sheepy: Griflet: Do you want her to die? Arsé-kun: Kay: I am not touching that!! You carry it, sir brave knight! Sheepy: Griflet: Then you control Buddy. Arsé-kun: Kay: That I can at least try to do. Sheepy: Griflet: And I'll carry the Soul Eater. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great!! Lets get this over with so we can go home! Sheepy: Griflet: Yes. *He heads towards the deeper part of the forest again* Sheepy: Bedi: Are you sure you don't want to join us instead? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Uh, I think I'd die if I did. Maybe after we're done, if you're still here! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, sure! Arsé-kun: Kay: Something to look forward to! Sheepy: *Buddy is eating grass. Buddy does not care about anything.* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Sheepy: Bedi:...But still...I wonder how it tasted... Sheepy: Bedi: *He appears a bit disappointed...* Arsé-kun: *Kay makes a face of disgust* Sheepy: Guin: He tried to make Eiji and Satoru eat it. Arsé-kun: *Kay looks more disgusted* Sheepy: Satoru: It's nutritious not to be picky. You can never afford to value. Sheepy: Bedi: No... Sheepy: Satoru: It's picky to value nutrition. You can never afford to be. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That one was almost acceptable. Sheepy: Bedi: N-no.... Sheepy: Satoru: You can afford to never value nutrition. It's picky. Arsé-kun: Angra: It's afford to picky nutrition. You can never value to be. Sheepy: Bedi: No!! Sheepy: Satoru: It's picky to never afford value. You can be nutrition. Arsé-kun: Angra: Nutrition it's be picky can to you. Never value afford. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, I'm being bullied by a child. Arsé-kun: Angra: And a Master. Sheepy: Bedi: Eh...? You're a Master? Arsé-kun: Angra: No!! He is! Sheepy: Satoru: No, I'm a child. Sheepy: Satoru: And one day I'll evolve into a grownup. Sheepy: Satoru: Charles Darwin is to be thanked for that. Sheepy: Satoru: I've given up on my dreams and that's okay Sheepy: Satoru: Not everyone needs to accomplish their dreams. Arsé-kun: Acu: Sounds right to me. Someone take this fish. Sheepy: Satoru: Ambitions are a human concept. Sheepy: *Bedi takes the fish, disappointed still.* Sheepy: Satoru: But what if my dream is not a human one? Sheepy: Satoru: But I am human, therefore disallowing me from truly accomplishing it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, that depends on what it is! Sheepy: Satoru: I guess so. Sheepy: Satoru: I want to keep everyone safe. If I was strong, nobody would die. If I was strong, I could prevent the eventual dinosaur takeover that'll end in the deaths of millions. Sheepy: Satoru: But I'm not. I'm just a child. Arsé-kun: Minako: For now. Sheepy: Satoru: But for how long? Arsé-kun: Minako: Six years? Sheepy: Satoru: Age isn't a determinant of one's status as a child. Arsé-kun: Angra: If that's the case, I'm baby. Sheepy: Satoru: You're a big baby. Arsé-kun: Angra: Yup! Sheepy: Eiji: ...Uhm... Sheepy: Eiji:...... Sheepy: Satoru: And I'm a child because I'm weak and can't control anything around me. Adults are strong so they can do whatever they want. Arsé-kun: Angra: Adults can be pussies. Adults are usually the ones doing stupid shit! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't understand. Arsé-kun: Angra: Kids don't know shit fuck! Adults know stuff and do idiot crap anyway! Sheepy: Bedi: Strength isn't related to status. Anyone can be strong so long as they believe in themselves. Sheepy: Satoru: Hmmm.. Arsé-kun: Angra: Wow! Gee! Thanks for the helpful tip! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, you're welcome. Arsé-kun: Angra: If I believe in myself, will I be able to nullify snake bites? Sheepy: Bedi: Why? Arsé-kun: Angra: I got bitten up so Master didn't have to! Sheepy: Bedi: ........ Arsé-kun: Angra: On the bright side, it's too weak to affect me! Arsé-kun: Angra: It's just itchy. Sheepy: Bedi: That's good. Arsé-kun: *And now, Mozart just sitting with Salieri, ignoring everyone else in favor of nice nature sounds, as well as whatever Ozy is watching in his tent. Featuring "Where the fuck did Yan Qing go NOW"* Sheepy: *That IS a good question!* Arsé-kun: *Local Assassin needs to Stop Doing This* Sheepy: *But he's bored!* Arsé-kun: *the answer is not that far, with Enkidu, who is excitedly relaying something over* Sheepy: *Yan Qing is laughing.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: And.. And they just stood there! And died like that! *and they start laughing* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Amazing! Arsé-kun: *and then Enkidu gets distracted by the stream Ozy is watching and pokes his head in. What stupid shit is Gil up to? The answer is “A Lot”. The kitchen is in ruins.*

[bad-draft-stuff]

Fate goes (camping again, i guess)

LLLLLL

Arsé-kun: Hyde: -N' that's why I think we should give kiddos some knives with their sweets! Sheepy: Satoru: Wow. So you’re going to create a knife fight over candy. Sheepy: Satoru: ...Therefore lowering the sales of candy, which improves dental care and reduces the need for dentists. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Fuck dentists, man. Sheepy: Satoru: ...Which puts many dentists out of work, causing a crisis of unemployment. Arsé-kun: Hyde: They can get other jobs! Sheepy: Satoru: Therefore causing issues with the economy since there are already not enough jobs for too many people... Arsé-kun: Mori: Causing some minor economic collapse. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: All to see children get into knife fights Arsé-kun: Hyde: Why should I care what happens later? I just wanna see a kiddie knife fight. Sheepy: Satoru: Because the consequences of your actions will hunt you down. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Nah, those're Jekyll's problems! Sheepy: Satoru: I think it’s supposed to be haunt but Rider says hunt. Arsé-kun: Mori: Hunt can be correct in some contexts. Sheepy: Satoru: Rider is good at hunting. Sheepy: Satoru: Rider can find you no matter how well you hide. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Only Jek can hide but only Hyde can Hyde! Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? Sheepy: Satoru: I guess you Hyde very well then. Arsé-kun: Hyde: I sure do! Sheepy: Satoru: Lobo is good at sniffing people out, too. Sheepy: Lobo: *His tail has begun wagging. He doesn’t seem to think anyone has noticed. He’s a good!* Arsé-kun: Mori: What's this? *he puts his hands on Lobo's big paw, which is on his lap* What's this for? Sheepy: Satoru: Can you hide your smell? Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Hell, probably! Arsé-kun: Mori: Can I have this? Sheepy: Lobo: ...? *He seems to be getting into the conversation, based on his tail wagging! He responds with another boof.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Oh, oh, ehehehe! If you have that, I see what I want! Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? Arsé-kun: *Hyde beelines for the bear trap on Lobo's leg. Look, free tetanus!* Sheepy: Lobo: *He looks over from nuzzling Mori, his fur bristling and his friendly expression turning to one of pure hatred upon noticing Hyde. He lets out a warning snarl, baring his teeth.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: What, you WANT this thing?? Arsé-kun: Hyde: This a piercing for dogs?? Sheepy: *Lobo lets out another even angrier warning snarl.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: I don't speak German! Sheepy: Lobo: *Groowwwwwllll* Arsé-kun: Hyde: You wanna keep this thing? Sheepy: *Lobo is watching Hyde closely...* Arsé-kun: *Hyde has placed a single finger on the bear trap* Sheepy: *Lobo bites Hyde's hand!* Arsé-kun: Hyde: *he looks delighted* You can have it if I can take that! Sheepy: Lobo: *He didn't expect that reponse. Why does Hyde seem so happy?* Arsé-kun: Mori: The both of you, do stop before you summon them from the depths below. Sheepy: *Lobo doesn't care about that. Lobo is defensive.* Arsé-kun: *and Hyde goes to push the bear trap open one-handed. Progress is not made at all.* Sheepy: *Lobo bites Hyde, lifting him up into the air and shaking him around.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: *WHEEE!* Sheepy: Satoru: ...Ummm. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Lets ignore that. What is it, Satoru? Sheepy: Satoru: Nothing, if we're ignoring that. Arsé-kun: Mori: Oh. What was your concern, then? Sheepy: Satoru: Won't that bother Dad? Arsé-kun: Mori: Oh, most likely. Sheepy: Satoru: Isn't that a problem? Arsé-kun: Mori: Well, yes. That is why I pointed it out initially. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh well. Arsé-kun: Mori: It is their problem now. Arsé-kun: Vlad: WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING UP THERE, KNOCK IT OFF! Sheepy: *Lobo stops briefly before continuing.* Arsé-kun: *Hyde's already got whiplash and doesn't care. This is fun!* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... That's enough, Lobo. Sheepy: *Lobo huffs and drops Hyde before returning to his original position.* Arsé-kun: Hyde: Haaa.. Haaa.. Lets do that again sometime! *He had his fun. At least three bones are broken. He doesn't care* Arsé-kun: Hyde: ... 's it normal to not be able to feel your arms? Askin' for Jekyll. *...nooo, you're not. he's not even subtle.* Sheepy: Lobo:....*Huff* Sheepy: Satoru: No. Arsé-kun: Hyde: That's a shame! He gets to deal with it! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Mori: .... And Rider, I don't recommend you go down there. Recall the last time you tried? Sheepy: Rider:...... Sheepy: Rider:.................*He gives Mori a thumbs up...before going down.* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... I won't go to your next funeral. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, he's dead. Arsé-kun: Hyde: dibs on his shit Sheepy: Satoru: You'll be dead soon too. Arsé-kun: Hyde: Not again. Sheepy: Satoru: Everyone dies. Arsé-kun: Mori: That's enough of this conversation. Sheepy: Satoru: Except Grandpa. Grandpa is invincible because old people trade their flexibility for immortality. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *airhorn, followed by screaming. Mozart also screams. He is not downstairs* Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, there he goes. Sheepy: Lobo: *He whines* Arsé-kun: Mori: Last I checked, Rider does not scream. *he pats Lobo* Sheepy: Cu, from another room: SHUT UP! Arsé-kun: Acu, from yet another room: YOU SHUT UP! Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: *Herc yells from somewhere* Sheepy: CasCu, from the same room as Acu: EVERYONE SHUT UP! I'M WATCHING A DOGUMENTARY! Arsé-kun: Proto: DOG? Sheepy: Cascu: DOG! Arsé-kun: *and Proto bashes into the aforementioned room. Dog? Dogs??* Sheepy: *There's dogs on tv and dogs watching tv. Three white dogs and at least one cu.* Arsé-kun: *three Cu. Four if Mini Cu counts.* Sheepy: *He absolutely counts.* Sheepy: *That makes seven whole dogs!* Arsé-kun: *and they're all watching this nice dogumentary about puppies. depression cured.* Arsé-kun: Proto: ... .... *he registers the white dogs. processing...* !! !!! Look at all these fantastic boofers! Sheepy: Cascu: They're my dogs! Arsé-kun: Proto: I love them! *he melts into the nearest fluffy pup* Sheepy: *The puppy licks Proto!* Arsé-kun: *Full hp recovery, full np bars, all debuffs removed, melted status extended* Arsé-kun: *this room has a strict no depression policy. It cannot exist in dog heaven. Even Acu looks content* Arsé-kun: *there is nothing to do here. Lets check on Rider.* Sheepy: *Rider seems pretty proud of himself.* Arsé-kun: *Rider is not dead. Except, he is, because he is a ghost. He is not re-dead. Undead? Alive??* Sheepy: Rider: "Of course!" Sheepy: Rider: "Seeing a shocked expression on your face is worth it." Sheepy: Carmilla: You're lucky I don't bleed you dry! Sheepy: Rider: "Oh, did you know?" Sheepy: Rider: "It's going to be Halloween soon." Sheepy: Carmilla: And? Sheepy: Rider: "Heads will roll." Sheepy: Rider: "For Halloween, I will be the Headless Horseman of the Sleepy Hollows. Arsé-kun: Vlad: At least do something different. I've already made you something. Arsé-kun: Vlad: You're not getting any choice this year, not after that stunt. Sheepy: Rider:....? Sheepy: Rider: "What?" Sheepy: Rider: "What are you going to force me to wear?!" Arsé-kun: Vlad: I hope you like pumpkins. Sheepy: Rider:...... Sheepy: Rider: "I'm going to be a laughing stock." Arsé-kun: Vlad: Will you? We'll have to see. Sheepy: Rider: "You're cruel!" Arsé-kun: Vlad: Thank you. For this Halloween I am being what I am perceived to be. Sheepy: Rider: "That isn't just a perception!" Arsé-kun: Vlad: Moreso than that. Sheepy: Carmilla: If I perceive you giving me money, will you give me cash? Arsé-kun: Vlad: I don't know, would Dracula do that? Sheepy: Carmilla: No clue. Sheepy: Rider: "Are you going to kidnap Mina too?" Sheepy: Rider: "And find yourself a Renfield?" Arsé-kun: Vlad: Bah. At least a quarter of the household would be a Renfield. Arsé-kun: Vlad: And.... One Mina, who I have no interest in. Sheepy: Rider: "Can I decapitate her?" Sheepy: Carmilla: Oooohhhh, Vlad has a giiirlfriiiieeeend. Arsé-kun: Vlad: Can you decapitate Guinevere? Arsé-kun: Vlad: That is not what I said, you cat! Sheepy: Carmilla: Vlad and Mina sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Arsé-kun: Vlad: Disgusting. At least your book was accurate. Sheepy: Carmilla: Eheheh. Arsé-kun: Vlad: And don't make me actually read mine to prove you wrong. Sheepy: *The vampire-esque music briefly stops before continuing.* Arsé-kun: Vlad: *he just glances over.* Sheepy: *....Tristan, how are you producing those noises with a harp??* Arsé-kun: *carefully* Arsé-kun: Vlad: .... And you don't need to be doing any of.. Whatever you are doing. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad, how sad! Sheepy: Tristan: Ahhhh, if only you were our boss and not that cruel, beautiful woman! How wretched she was! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, all the time Sir Lancelot and I wasted running her silly errands, preventing Halloween... Oh, it could've been spent gossiping about attractive (married) women...! Socializing with beautiful (married) women in bars! Looking at gorgeous (married) women! Having a fling with lovely (married) women! Sheepy: Rider: "I feel like there's a hidden meaning behind those words..." Arsé-kun: Vlad: Found the Renfield. Sheepy: Tristan: What is Renfield? Arsé-kun: Vlad: A chatterbox. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah. Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... And as far as I am concerned, even you function better than a Renfield. Sheepy: Tritsan: What? Sheepy: Tristan: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *As Vlad turns back to resume threatening Rider with bad costumes, Tristan's phone beeps. Because it's not dead for once? Who charged it on him? How dare-* Sheepy: Tristan: *He looks* Arsé-kun: *Kay's messaging the group chat* Arsé-kun: Kay:// Boys, guess who's got some premium shit talk? Sheepy: Arthur:// how many guesses do we get lI'm gonna have to think this one through a bit Sheepy: Bedi: // You? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Guts, give him his phone back unless yours was hit by a truck. Sheepy: Arthur:// he's got mine because he's changing some settings on it to prevent me from airdropping him this one cat picture over and over again Sheepy: Arthur:// he doesn't know I have it and I don't think that setting exists Arsé-kun: Kay:// Send me it later. Anyway, Kiddo's pop gains some weight and hoo boy does he look like shit! This mans makin' Gawain's fattest potato harvest look small! Arsé-kun: Kay:// But I bet all you guys want is deets and not sick burns, right? Of what this fuckers up to? Sheepy: Gawain:// You gained weight? It's the alcohol I tell uou. Sheepy: Bedi:// 🙂 Arsé-kun: Kay:// No! Not me! Sheepy: Gawain: // Whom? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Gawain you don't know jack shit so stfu, all you know is how big the sun is compared to your dick. Arsé-kun: Kay:// My summoner's """dad""". Not even his real one. Dickass fuckin greedy bastard. Sheepy: Gawain: // I mean...that's not a good comparison, comparing things of similar size. Sheepy: Bedi: // Ah, what is he up to? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Who said dick Sheepy: Bedi: // Not number wise, but plots. Sheepy: Bedi: // Merlin!! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// H hewwo? Sheepy: Bedi: // 💗 Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Hewwo! Sheepy: Arthur:// ew it's you Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh, he's trying to rerun for mayor again. Same old. Merlin i s2g I'll punt you back into space Sheepy: Gawain: // He was mayor? Sheepy: Gawain: // Are mayors higher than kings? Sheepy: Arthur:// depends Arsé-kun: Kay:// Hm.. Yeah, depends on where. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Generally no? But it can lead to who knows what. Sheepy: Arthur:// not what I meant lol Arsé-kun: Kay:// It's like electing Aggy-kun to rule over a town. Sheepy: Gawain: // Oh, I see. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Except maybe worse off in this case. Sheepy: Bedi: // But is he getting any traction? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Say what u want about Aggy, but at least he had restraints. Minimum. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Well, the big shadow thing got bigger! So I'm gonna say yes? Arsé-kun: Kay:// I'm gonna throw Elyan at it and see what happens Sheepy: Bedi: // Those are related? Sheepy: Arthur:// he'll turn into fried chicken Arsé-kun: Kay:// They're not? I mean, it showed up a bit after he was elected the first time. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Also nice. Sheepy: Bedi: // That's concerning. Real concerning. Sheepy: Arthur:// if he's gutsy just make him not lololol Arsé-kun: Kay:// The good news is I don't think it's been as lethal? Peopleve seen it but nothing happened? Shits fucky. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Kick him in the crotch Sheepy: Arthur:// doesn't take much work Sheepy: Arthur:// or use bedi's idea of a weight loss plan and sic grif on him Sheepy: Bedi: // ? I had a weight loss plan? But I never tried to lose weight? Sheepy: Arthur:// don't worry about it Arsé-kun: Lance:// aa? Sheepy: Arthur:// ew it's you Arsé-kun: Kay:// I THINK I GET IT YOU NASTY FUCKR Sheepy: Arthur:// 🙂 Sheepy: Arthur:// well is it a bad plan? Sheepy: Bedi: // ????? Sheepy: Bedi:// What? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Yes!! Jesus christ Lucan, don't talk shit about Bedivere like that! You wanna lost limbs? Arsé-kun: Kay:// *lose Sheepy: Arthur:// heyhey it's all in good spirit Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I call first dibs on kicking his ass Sheepy: Bedi:// 😟 Sheepy: Gawain:// :thinking: Arsé-kun: Kay:// But Grif IS the one who put mr mayor in the hospital for a bit so I mean. We could? Arsé-kun: Kay:// For the uninformed, he pays us cash to keep Grif away from him. Arsé-kun: Kay:// I for one think this is fucking hilarious. Sheepy: Gawain:// Uh, what did Grif do? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Lose his temper. You know of Grif is. Multiply it. Sheepy: Gawain:// Oof. Sheepy: Bedi://...Him ending up in a wheelchair is due to Griflet??? Sheepy: Arthur:// good old grif Arsé-kun: Kay:// You know! Little Griflet things! Sheepy: Arthur:// oh wow you haven't banned me yet over that last one lol Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Well, duh. It's not your pjone Sheepy: Arthur:// oh yeah I forgot Sheepy: Bedi:// Please try to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Way ahead of you. He's been doing ok. He's like an evil detecting dog, but like, a bit dumber. bc dogs can figure out doors. Sheepy: Bedi:// He can be very sweet and gentle, but his short and violent temper may hide that. Sheepy: Arthur:// no he can't Arsé-kun: Kay:// His temper is shorter than lancelots. angry lancelot, not romcom binging lancelot. Sheepy: Arthur:// that's a temper? Sheepy: Arthur:// thought it was just how he was usually Arsé-kun: Lance:// He does what Arsé-kun: Kay:// yes and yes Sheepy: Gawain:// Hmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Gawain:// Hmmmmmm Arsé-kun: Kay:// Use that ammo as you will. Arsé-kun: Kay:// But ok wait call now and get more shit. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Like... Sheepy: Gawain:// I wanted to hang out with him but like he might spoil my favorite romcom Arsé-kun: Kay:// Gawain? You made me read that with my own eyes. How dare you. Arsé-kun: Kay:// cults r bad for u and so is bad stuff gee whilly whee Sheepy: Gawain:// It's called "The Knights of the Round Table Chat" Arsé-kun: Kay:// HAHAHAHHA Arsé-kun: Lance:// Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh we killed berserkerlot may he rest in shit Sheepy: Arthur:// lancelot is donealot with all of you Sheepy: Arthur:// lancelot hmmmmmmmmmm Arsé-kun: Lance:// I caNT typw if im' laugfin g Sheepy: Arthur:// if he gives you money to support you ofyen is he financelot Arsé-kun: Lance:// STIO[ Arsé-kun: Kay:// All right you goddamn clown, go back to clown school Sheepy: Bedi:// Kay Sheepy: Bedi:// Tell me more Arsé-kun: Kay:// I was gonna say how bad people like summoning Avengers but they didn't want Avengers! Not the damn movie! Arsé-kun: Kay:// First one of you to say avengers comics gets unsolicited eye pics Sheepy: Bedi:// What... Sheepy: Bedi:// Hold on. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Holding! Sheepy: Bedi:// We have an avenger here who Master's son was forced to summon. Sheepy: Bedi:// Is that the avenger? Arsé-kun: Kay:// That's! The! One! Sheepy: Arthur:// lol putting that out in the internet for potential hackers to see Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Who the hell would hack a server with a bad ms paint entry page? Sheepy: Bedi:// And the one who forced him to summon the Avenger was his mother's husband, Masato, a wealthy business owner. Arsé-kun: Kay:// guy involved with the whole thing spilled to Kiddo. Hoo? Hoooooooooo BBY Sheepy: Bedi:// Could the two be working together? Sheepy: Bedi:// This isn't good. Arsé-kun: Kay:// I don't know about the -to but I know there's a Masa- guy workin' there. wait let me ask Arsé-kun: Kay:// kiddo says some guy named Masanori worked for his fatass dad. Like a butler? People have those in 2018? Sheepy: Bedi://..... Sheepy: Bedi:// Um. Sheepy: Bedi:// That's the guy. Sheepy: Arthur:// :o Sheepy: Arthur:// bedi and I work hard you know Arsé-kun: Lance:// ILL KILL HIM Sheepy: Arthur:// lol good luck I'm behind 9 proxies Sheepy: Bedi:// So it's a much larger organisation than I had assumed. However, this raises questions. Arsé-kun: Kay:// no shit! and @lucan, fuck you m8, you know what I meant! Sheepy: Arthur:// lololol Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Who wants to tell lil magus babbus mum that sad business mans second form, ultimate douchefucker, is involved in shady shit! Shotnot! Sheepy: Bedi:// Merlin Sheepy: Bedi:// Second form? That's what I'm questioning. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// did Sheepy: Bedi:// I suppose it makes no difference. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Did you forget masato and masanori or are you sayin somethin else babe Sheepy: Bedi:// Nono that's not it Arsé-kun: Merlin:// nori is ultimate douchefucker. i bet he doesnt clean em Sheepy: Bedi:// It's just that with how Masato acted, it's hard to believe that he was anything but a business owner at one time. Sheepy: Bedi:// Since I've heard it's really all he cared about. Sheepy: Bedi:// But it's unimportant. Sheepy: Arthur:// with the way kay drinks it's hard ro believe he wasn't an alcoholic at one point but here we are Sheepy: Arthur:// people change. except lancelot saber Arsé-kun: Kay:// I could list all the ways I'm not right now you jackass Arsé-kun: Lance:// what i remember which isnt much, guy was ok. bad dad but tried? the other one im going to kill. Sheepy: Arthur:// it's okay you don't need to deny it because bedi eill break my spine the next time we see eavh othrr Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Why would sweet bedivere do that? Arsé-kun: Lance:// guin confirmed what i put, if he wasnt two people id kill him riht now Sheepy: Arthur:// sweet lololol Sheepy: Arthur:// he's more like a worrywart Sheepy: Arthur:// don't move lucan you'll die with those injuries just stay put Arsé-kun: Kay:// Tristan voice; Maybe I want to die, mind your own business Arsé-kun: Kay:// Speaking of whys he never here, can he not read? Sheepy: Arthur:// oh I have him blocked LOL I didn't know he wasn't here Sheepy: Tristan:// xffdhfv Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh shit he's alive! Whattup big red Sheepy: Tristan:// arm hurt neck stiff Arsé-kun: Kay:// And that's your own damn fault Lucan why don't you do somethin about ur issues for once? Sheepy: Arthur:// getting my skull bashed in is my fault lol Sheepy: Arthur:// ok Arsé-kun: Merlin:// knees weak arms spagetti Arsé-kun: Kay:// I said do somethin about it, not OH WOE ME Sheepy: Arthur:// whst can I do about it Sheepy: Arthur:// when I tell him he denies it Arsé-kun: Kay:// cmere tristan ill kick ur ass too Arsé-kun: Kay:// you guys can use my old get along shirt Sheepy: Tristan:// I'm sad Arsé-kun: Kay:// we know big red Sheepy: Arthur:// lol I'd rather grif use me as his chewtoy Arsé-kun: Kay:// He wouldn't like that much Sheepy: Arthur:// that wah I get time off work to clean and cook Arsé-kun: Kay:// Wah? Sheepy: Arthur:// waaaahhh Arsé-kun: Kay:// Wah?? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Wah! Sheepy: Arthur:// I "overworked" myself again and "passed out" so the king is punishing me, I wsnns clean Sheepy: Arthur:// so much to do... Sheepy: Arthur:// let me join you for ahen you beat up the big bad Arsé-kun: Merlin:// You're a servant! How mch did you do to reach that point??? Arsé-kun: Lance:// k Sheepy: Arthur:// lolol it was just a short nap I closed my eyes for a second Sheepy: Arthur:// tiny break punishable by the tedium of being forced to stay put and "rest" Sheepy: Lucan:// Sir Lucan, a few days is not a short nap...! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// kick his ass sir ill hold ya crown Sheepy: Arthur:// lolol it was enough rest put me bsck on duty Sheepy: Bedi://!!!!!! Sheepy: Arthur:// also get yhis doh off of me its fouffy but preventing me from leaving to clean Sheepy: Arthur:// dogs arent even allowed in here whose dog is this Arsé-kun: Merlin:// send pics Sheepy: *"Arthur" sends a picture of a white dog!* Arsé-kun: *Image is saved by Lancelot* Arsé-kun: *which one? yes.* Sheepy: Arthur:// my clotgws need cleaning now because of fur and my face needs a good scrub because it licked me Sheepy: Arthur:// yuck Arsé-kun: Merlin:// fantasti doge 10/10 Sheepy: Arthur:// it's getting in my wau Arsé-kun: Kay:// Suffe Arsé-kun: Kay:// wait i gotta Sheepy: Lucan:// I took your phone away so you'd sleep. Arsé-kun: *Kay sends an image of Grif squatting on a chair. Elyan's on his head* Arsé-kun: Kay:// Similar minds think alike.png.exe Sheepy: Arthur:// what is grif doing Arsé-kun: Kay:// fuck if i know Sheepy: Arthur:// he looks content Arsé-kun: Kay:// ikr Sheepy: Arthur:// how are you not dead Sheepy: Arthur:// iwvit your master using seals yo stop him Arsé-kun: Kay:// No. The answer will blow ur goddamn mind. More than it was already. ha. Sheepy: Arthur:// lol Arsé-kun: Kay:// We're friends. Surprise jackasses Sheepy: Arthur:// lol good joke Sheepy: Bedi:// Huh? That's obvious. Arsé-kun: Kay:// no i was serious that time lucan Sheepy: Arthur:// lolololol Sheepy: Arthur:// funny Arsé-kun: Kay:// Look ill prove im not all talk hold on Arsé-kun: Merlin:// not cleaning that up either if it goes south Sheepy: Arthur:// rip kay Sheepy: Arthur:// good knowing you Arsé-kun: Lance:// uhhhhhh arrrre we supposed to do anything with the prior info Sheepy: Arthur:// yes Sheepy: Arthur:// brijh me along Sheepy: Lucan:// Do not bring him along. Arsé-kun: Lance:// later Sheepy: Arthur:// iyll bevgreat you should see my noble ohantasm Sheepy: Arthur:// oh waitv tgats spoiler territory Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I know them!! I know the spoilers! You can keep it! Sheepy: Arthur:// I'm banned from using it Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Keep it that way for the love of the gods Sheepy: Arthur:// what? Sheepy: Arthur:// wjats wrong with ir Arsé-kun: *Kay sends in an image! Of him, with an arm around Grif's shoulder. Grif is glaring at the camera probably. elyan is photobombing. lupin is also photobombing.* Arsé-kun: Merlin:// all of it, every fuckin thing Arsé-kun: *Lancelot saves the image* Arsé-kun: Merlin:// (◕△◕✿) Sheepy: Arthur:// lololol who's the snobbu looking guy Sheepy: Bedi:// Oh! Sheepy: Arthur:// oh wait that's just kay lol Sheepy: Arthur:// lololol there's nothing wrong wuth my np Sheepy: Arthur:// just dint wanns reveak its true name or deets in case simeone hacks the chat Sheepy: Arthur:// or in case I gotta fighf one of you people who wouldnt know Sheepy: Arthur:// it's my secret tool lol Sheepy: Lucan:// Why would you use that in a 1v1? Sheepy: Arthur:// no spoilers! Sheepy: Bedi:// Kay, when did Kidd summon a new servant? Sheepy: Tristan:// If we need to find Masanori I can be of assistance. Sheepy: Arthur:// nono thisll be a no tristan allowed stealth mission Sheepy: Tristan:// Ah... my king is cruel like always... he simply cannot understand the simple man. Sheepy: Lucan:// Sir Tristan, that's not me! I'm Arthur! You can go! Sheepy: Tristan:// Don't lie like this, Sir Lucan! You've gone too far! Sheepy: Arthur:// lolol sit in a box in the corner tristan you're grounded for being naughty Sheepy: *Tristan starts sobbing and shifts into the corner...* Sheepy: Arthur:// LOL he's stomping over here Sheepy: Arthur:// good luck getting through my 9 proxies my king Arsé-kun: Kay:// I look away for ten second and Lucan fucks up the everything. Cool nice ok Arsé-kun: Kay:// Hold the fuck i need to read this backlog now Arsé-kun: Lance:// aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Sheepy: Arthur:// why are you screaming Sheepy: Arthur:// oh he looks mad Arsé-kun: Kay:// Good luck with the king, shitlips! Sheepy: Arthur:// "annoyed" is a better word I suppose, brb Sheepy: Gawain:// And no we have one less knight, since this one lost their position. Do we have any new entries? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Not that I know of. Also @Bedi, that's not Kiddo's servant in the back of that pic. Sheepy: Bedi:// Who is that? Arsé-kun: Kay:// That's Kiddo's actual dad! brb im gonna fistfight Sheepy: Bedi:// Oh, so it's a similar situation to Master's son............ is it the case that they planned this from the very beginning? Sheepy: Gawain:// Hmmmmmmm that's pretty uncreative. Arsé-kun: Lance:// how do you plan something like that Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah....... Sheepy: Bedi:// I, um. Sheepy: Bedi:// ..................................... Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Carefully?? ??? ? Sheepy: Bedi:// Well, they're planning to summon... something. Sheepy: Bedi:// This shouldn't be too hard for them. Sheepy: Bedi:// I believe in their intelligence! Sheepy: Bedi: // Aren't they? Arsé-kun: Kay:// What are you going on about, exactly? Sheepy: Bedi:// Well, you said the mayor posed as Kidd's dad Sheepy: Bedi:// Kidd is capable of summoning Servants Sheepy: Bedi:// Masanori/Masato acted as Satoru's (Master's son) dad (making Masanori therefore have more power over him) Arsé-kun: Kay:// Oh, yes. Our entire debacle was... A bit weirder than that. Sheepy: Bedi:// Some stuff I doubt I should go into Sheepy: Bedi:// ? Arsé-kun: Kay:// I need to go into the backlog again, hold on. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Merlin said, and I quote " Servants cannot impregnate a still-living human under 99% of circumstances."-- "There’s a few ways though, but they’re all very risky or difficult. The easiest would be using another human’s container."--"So it’s like a pseudo servant, but like. Temporary?" Arsé-kun: Kay:// Take a single guess what is still highly relevant. Sheepy: Bedi:// !!! Sheepy: Bedi:// But is Kidd older than Satoru? Sheepy: Bedi:// Because it's still possibly the case while that was unintentional, they ended up getting the idea from that? Sheepy: Lucan:// correlation: none Arsé-kun: Kay:// Kidd is older, but.. Are you actually Lucan or still the King? Sheepy: Lucan:// I stole my phone back Arsé-kun: Kay:// God save us. Arsé-kun: Kay:// But I do not think so. This is a case where all parties involved were possibly only linked by coincidence... I think. Sheepy: Bedi:// Did Mayor do anything to Kidd's circuits? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Did..?? Non, not that I know of. Arsé-kun: Kay:// *No Sheepy: Bedi:// Hmmm. Sheepy: Bedi:// Could that just be Masanori's side of things? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I could cheat at learning these details! Sheepy: Bedi:// You could? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// It's not looking forward, so I could probably pull it off! Sheepy: Bedi:// I guess I shouldn't divulge this information but Masanori did tinker with Satoru's circuits... Sheepy: Bedi:// Go ahead. Arsé-kun: Kay:// I've almost never been this disgusted in my entire life. Sheepy: Bedi:// But thankfully he doen't seem too bothered by it. Sheepy: Bedi:// But that's why I was wondering. Arsé-kun: Lance:// Stop me if I'm wrong, and I probably am, didn't your master have his damaged? Sheepy: Bedi:// Yes, he did. Arsé-kun: Kay:// ... I'm liking this less and less! Sheepy: Bedi:// Hmm, they could be related. Ah.. another piece of information I probably should not divulge. Sheepy: Bedi:// But it's for Kidd's safety. Sheepy: Bedi:// Masanori shut down our abilities somehow. Arsé-kun: Kay:// ... I should not share this either. Arsé-kun: Kay:// But there are many ways to do that. Removing mana from ones surroundings is the easiest. Sheepy: Bedi:// That's probably what he did. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Highly likely, if not a definite. Sheepy: Bedi:// But pleae be careful Arsé-kun: Kay:// I'm carefu Arsé-kun: Kay:// Arsé-kun: Kay:// MOTHERFUCKER HAD MY PHONE IM SENDING GRIF AFTER HIM Sheepy: Bedi:// Huh? Sheepy: Lucan:// best friend and you cant even tell when it's obviously not him Arsé-kun: Kay:// LUPIN HAD MY PHONE THIS IS THE SECOND TIME HE'S PRETENDED TO BE ME AND IM LIVID Sheepy: Bedi:// Second? Arsé-kun: Kay:// MASTER OF DISGUISE MY ASS MORE LIKE MASTER OF BEING A FRENCH BASTARD no offense lancelots HON HON HON IM GONNA RAZE UR ASS Arsé-kun: Merlin:// haha get fucked drunky Sheepy: Lucan:// rip Sheepy: Lucan:// he should disguise himself as me Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah, we have someone like that here.. Sheepy: Bedi:// They seem like they'd be good friends. Sheepy: Tristan:// ? They are. Sheepy: Tristan:// They're both part of our book club. Arsé-kun: Lance:// Are we suggesting Assassin and Lucan should meet?? Sheepy: Lucan:// are you plotting my demise before you even see me a second time Sheepy: Lucan:// smh petty that I'm just better looking apparently. afraid that if there were two of me the world would have too much beauty Sheepy: Lucan:// jk jk Arsé-kun: Lance:// Note; Yan, Lupin, and Lucan cannot meet. Ban Avenger too. Sheepy: Bedi:// Revealing the true name of such a useful asset... Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah... I mean. Sheepy: Bedi:// Such a potentially helpful ally. Arsé-kun: Lance:// He's never even himself, why would it matter? Sheepy: Lucan:// they could be anyone in this room even Arsé-kun: Lance:// aaaa?? Sheepy: Lucan:// it's actually me I'm the fake Sheepy: Lucan:// in a way we're all fakes tho like. we're kinda just "memories" of the original knights of the round table. essences of them that have been given the chance to live on in exchange for serving a human Sheepy: Lucan:// so none of u here are actually real Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Man shut up Sheepy: Lucan:// why Arsé-kun: Merlin:// 1- I can't die. 2- Wording it like that is just gonna give everybody anxiety. 3- Still highly questioning some things. 4- I HAVE NEWS Sheepy: Lucan:// tell us the news Sheepy: Lucan:// did bedi finally find someone better Sheepy: Bedi:// ? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I'm going to kick you Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Kay and Grif's charge is untouched. No circuit fuckery. Sheepy: Bedi:// How did you find that out? Sheepy: Bedi:// Through Holmes? I thought he was still passed out? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Yeah, he's still dead af. I just took a tiny peek a few years back and fact checked against some medical records. Nothing out of the ordinary. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// The weirdest thing in that kids house is that bird. Sheepy: Lucan:// tbh it just looks like an albino peacock to me Arsé-kun: Lance:// It can turn into a person!!!! Sheepy: Bedi:// Who can disconnect its jaw apparently. Sheepy: Lucan:// you can turn into a person too Arsé-kun: Merlin:// oh are we mentioning that? No, no. This bird can turn into a knight much like us, and can fully speak. Sheepy: Lucan:// >like us Sheepy: Lucan:// implying you're a knight lol Arsé-kun: Merlin:// You know what I meant!! Sheepy: Lucan:// but who's his king? ssome rando in armor isn't a knight Ars��-kun: Merlin:// Same as ours? I mean, he's with Grif, and Grif's with us, soooooooooooooooo Sheepy: Bedi:// Do fountains have kings? Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah, yes, but this means that Buddy's a knight too, right? Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// Is now a bad time to ask what in the world is going on Sheepy: Bedi:// Kay can you ssend a picture of Elyan? Sheepy: Bedi:// And not Lancelot's relative, the bird Arsé-kun: Kay:// They're not the same? I'm kidding im kidding Arsé-kun: Kay:// Like, a new pic or Sheepy: Bedi:// Any pic to show Saber Lancelot Arsé-kun: *Kay resends the earlier picture of grif and elyan* Sheepy: Bedi:// If you haven't seen him before, Sir Lancelot, the bird with Sir Griflet is named Elyan. He's a "peacock". Sheepy: Bedi:// ...Who can shapeshift into a human, talk, and disconnect his jaw apparently. Sheepy: Bedi:// ... And was apparently found in ome fountain? Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// Thank you for catching me up, I suppose. Sheepy: Bedi:// You're welcome! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Oh! I've finally remembered what it is that I think of whenever I hear that bird speak! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// We're not talking about it because they don't exist! Sheepy: Bedi:// ???? Sheepy: Bedi:// You're making me really curious!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Awful beasts. Terrible. Only existed in one singularity and if I ever see one again it'll be lethal. Probably. Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Bedi:// When he speaks, I feel a great sense of danger. Evil. Like my ears aren't supposed to be allowed to hear such a thing. Sheepy: Bedi:// How frightening... Sheepy: Lucan:// who, tristan? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// No, Elyan. The bird. Leave Tristan out of it. Sheepy: Lucan:// wah Sheepy: Bedi:// But considering the bird (may) be on our side, perhaps his secret isn't too important. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Is it a secret if he does it all the damn time? Arsé-kun: Kay:// Whatever! Kiddo's dragging me to the store for candy. We can resume this later. But first Arsé-kun: Kay:// Merlin's a pussy hahah! Sheepy: Bedi:// I meant his true identity since Griflet named him. Sheepy: Bedi:// Have fun though! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bediiiiiiii Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin! Sheepy: Bedi: *He flashes Merlin a big grin* Arsé-kun: *Merlin grins back and throws his arms around Bedi* Sheepy: Bedi: We learned a lot today! Sheepy: Bedi: At least, I think so. With Holmes out of commission.. Sheepy: Bedi: Shoule we tell everyone else? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, probbaly! Sheepy: Bedi: Should we do that now or later? Arsé-kun: Merlin: We should probably do that.. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah, you're right. *He sounds a bit disappointed.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: But once it's over with, we can do whatever! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, that's true! Sheepy: *Bedi goes to say something more...but is interrupted by an airhorn!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin jumps about a foot into the air. scared cat maneuver. his ability to detect is minimal from using his clairvoyance* Sheepy: *Bedi panics and throws a punch!* Sheepy: Rider: *OW* Sheepy: Rider:........ Sheepy: Rider: "Good morning!" Arsé-kun: *Merlin stares at Rider for a few seconds, and then punches him in the gut* Sheepy: Rider:....? Sheepy: Rider:..........??? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is your head the only thing missing? Sheepy: Rider: "What else is missing?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: How should I know? I'm asking you! Sheepy: Rider: "Most of my neck." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, right, of course. Okay, anything below the shoulders? Sheepy: Rider: "My heart, probably." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Forget it, this is faster. *WHOMP. right to the no no square* Sheepy: *Rider collapses onto his knees. owOwOW* Arsé-kun: *Merlin then takes the airhorn and HOOOOOOONK* Arsé-kun: Merlin: How's it feel?? Not great, huh? Sheepy: Rider: "...I have no ears." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who cares? You feel the vibrations or some shit! Imagine feeling like that all the time, and some floaty bastard does that! Sheepy: Rider: "Loud noises do not bother me." Arsé-kun: Merlin: You get the idea! Sheepy: Rider: "I can't really relate." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Loud enough noises make you feel like your head is going to explode. Can you relate to that?? Sheepy: Rider: "I wouldn't have used an airhorn anyway!" Arsé-kun: Merlin: The poor guys made of glass! Who cares what it was? Sheepy: Rider: "And don't comment on my lack of head." Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Didn't you get it back or something?? Sheepy: Rider: "It would've just been a little surprise. That's the spirit of Halloween." Sheepy: Rider: "It's just a skull. A broken-up on at that..." Sheepy: Rider: "As to be expected." Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sucks. Sheepy: Rider: "Anyway, it's minor compared to what I usually do." Sheepy: Bedi: Usually...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can't just say that and not explain! But, like. Do it later! Sheepy: Rider: "Ah? Do it later?" Sheepy: Rider: "You are a terrible Servant if you want him to have such a fate." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Later, unless you wanna watch us. Deliver a message. Sheepy: Bedi: Ummm...he meant... explain it later. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, that! We got things to do! Arsé-kun: *Merlin glances to Bedi and wiggles his eyebrows* Sheepy: Rider: "Alright." Sheepy: Rider: "Just make sure not to go out at night if you don't want to experience it." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Easy enough. Sheepy: *Rider leaves.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... *he groans* Lets just get that over with first. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Are you okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That annoyed me more than it should have. Sheepy: Bedi: I should've spoken up... Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, it's fine. Sheepy: Bedi: Let's go deliver the news Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah. Sheepy: *The two go to deliver the news! Lobo is glaring viciously at the two as he chews on a squeak toy...so, the usual. Satoru is patting him. pat pat pat* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait, who are we even telling? Sheepy: Bedi:...Um... Sheepy: Bedi:.....Um.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Should we reword it to sound more appealing? Sheepy: Bedi: Mm...I guess so. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gotcha. I'll handle that, then! I am Chaldea's greatest swindler! Sheepy: Lobo: *chew chew chew* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! Congrats! *He's beaming. He's so proud of you, Merlin!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks! I don't know how I got that title! I don't do economics! Sheepy: Bedi: Through your pure swindling genius! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are they still mad about the time I managed to own an entire hallway? Sheepy: Bedi: How did you manage that? Sheepy: Lobo: *chew chew chew chewchew* Arsé-kun: Merlin: People don't question you if you look like you belong. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, here goes nothing! *and he strides into the next room like nothing is wrong* Sheepy: Satoru: Are you looking for someone? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's back within ten seconds* Where did Master go? Sheepy: Satoru:....? Oh. D...Eiji's, uh... Sheepy: Satoru: *He points in the direction of another room* There. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thank you! Lets try that again! Sheepy: Satoru:....? Sheepy: Satoru: Have fun. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I plan to! *and he moves to the next room* Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, Merlin! ...Uh...I w-was worried...b-but I just assumed th-that you, well, um, didn't, uh, want me to a-ask where you were last....last night. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That wasn't it at all! Sorry, Master! I just didn't feel great. Sheepy: Eiji: !! A-are you sssick? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thankfully no, but thanks for worr-- Thanks for asking! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...okay ...good. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyway, I come bearing news, Master! Sheepy: Eiji: Y-you do? Sheepy: Eiji: Please continue... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here goes! *he clears his throat* First, I and other knights have been tracking down the prick. You know the one. We've started to make important progress on that. We've also learned that the matter affects more that just this little family, Master, so we're kicking our efforts up a notch. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Off of this! If we manage to make contact, we can get you fixed up! I really believe we can! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Point three is that we've already inadvertently screwed em up! Go team! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also, Satoru almost called you Dad earlier, so I'm tacking that on as point four! Sheepy: Eiji: ........!!!! Sheepy: Eiji: *A rare expression of joy spreads across his face...* R....really....? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah! All that's true! Sure, I reworded a thing or two, but no lies from me, Master! Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...th-thank you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're welcome! Also, Rider wants to try and spook you, so keep an eye out for that. Sheepy: Eiji: Oh, um... Sheepy: Eiji: H-he already did... last night. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then what the hell was he talking about? He said he didn't get to. Sheepy: Eiji: ...? Sheepy: Eiji: W-well, he went through the wall near me, seeming kind of upset. And, uh, V-Vlad was there. ... I d-didn’t uh... expect it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, apparently that wasn't it. Sheepy: Eiji: ....W-well... I really hope I don't find out what it... Sheepy: Eiji: ............................ Sheepy: *Eiji looks a bit frightened...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... *he scrunches up his face before glancing back* Sheepy: *"IM COMING FOR YOU" is written in blood...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Is that it? I'm not cleaning this up. Sheepy: Eiji: ...Huh? ...B-but isn't it ghosts? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's just Rider. Who is a ghost! He's very dead. Sheepy: Eiji: He's...a ghost? Sheepy: Eiji: I...I just thought he w-was a v-very short man in...uh...in a coat...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can walk through walls and disappear and fly! Sheepy: Eiji: B-but can't you do that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Only with magic! He's the reason Lobo can disregard doors entirely. Sheepy: Eiji: Lobo can disregard doors!? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hessain Lobo is a spooky trio, I'll give you that! Sheepy: Eiji: ...Rider, Lobo, and Satoru? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I have suddenly realized that telling you too much at once might cause panic, so I'll stop after this one! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No! Lobo and Rider have a third member. He's usually in spirit form, though. Sheepy: Eiji: ..............??? Arsé-kun: Merlin: As in, the form for servants so we don't use excess energy. I don't mean turning into a ghost! Wouldn't be surprised if he could though! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Or is there something behind me? Arsé-kun: *merlin turns around* Sheepy: *Lobo sticks his snout in Merlin's face! Lobo is partway through the wall.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hello! *pat pat* Sheepy: Eiji: ...Um...but he won't attack anyone, right? B-because he...he, uh, hates me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uhh.. No guarantees? Sheepy: Eiji: !? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you gonna be nice, Lobo? Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: What do you mean maybe? He hurts like you do! Except you've got the ouch on the outside! *he gestures downwards, meaning Lobo's bear traps* And his ouchies are inside! So be nice! Sheepy: Lobo: ...................? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... And I don't mean bear traps inside! That would be a mess! Sheepy: Lobo: .............. Sheepy: Lobo: *He huffs.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well *huff* to you too! Sheepy: Lobo: *He growls, probably translating to something along the lines of "Humans are evil!"* Arsé-kun: Merlin: That suggests Satoru is counted..! Sheepy: Lobo: ............................. Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: "Not yet"?? I mean, I guess that's fair, considering who his Gramps is. Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: For the love of Vivianne and all that is wet and stinky like bad pond water, just leave Eiji alone! Sheepy: Lobo: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If I emphasize with it, you leave it alone! That list is Bedi and Eiji! That's the list! Hurt em and I'll throw you into your own hole in the front lawn! Sheepy: Lobo:...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not saying I'd win! I'm saying I'd throw you. Sheepy: Lobo: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... I am ranting to a wolf about this. Good lords I need to get laid. Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *woof!* Sheepy: Lobo: *Boof* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyway, play nice, kids and pups! *and he just strides out. in the distance you can hear him yell "GUIN, RIDER BLOODIED A WALL AGAIN!"* Sheepy: *Guin goes to beat up Rider- I mean, clean up the wall.* Arsé-kun: *you mean, beat up Rider if he doesn't clean up?* Sheepy: *Yes* Arsé-kun: *and then clean it with his coat?* Arsé-kun: *anyway now its just man and wolf* Sheepy: Lobo: *Glaaaaaaaare...* Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'm sorry!! I'll leave!!! Arsé-kun: *and so, one (1) older man hobbles out of the room. One can see Lobo's leg in the hallway, sticking through the wall. Spooky* Sheepy: *Eiji goes into the room with his painting to make sure it's okay.* Arsé-kun: *The painting is good and fine and dry. The other side of the room is not as lucky.* Sheepy: Eiji:...Uh? Arsé-kun: *its a paint explosion, except less explosion and more mess.* Arsé-kun: *and in the middle of it all is Angra, who is using his stupid skirt thing as a smock. He has no idea what he is doing. It shows.* Sheepy: Eiji:....Um... Arsé-kun: Angra: Uh... I can explain! Arsé-kun: Angra: I was... Uh... I was wasting all the paint! Because I am the best villain! Yeah! That's definitely what I was doing! *his face- made more visible by the aforementioned paint- and how he's holding a paintbrush over a canvas REALLY don't sell his claims. No sell.* Sheepy: Eiji: Um....okay. Sheepy: Eiji: Y-yes, uh...good job. Arsé-kun: Angra: I drew a dog! *he picks up the canvas, which is also a disasterpiece, but a black dog can be made out. maybe. It's abstract.* Sheepy: Eiji: Oh....! Sheepy: Eiji: Good job! Arsé-kun: Angra: Thanks! Sheepy: Eiji: But...um..p-please clean up wh....when you're done... Arsé-kun: Angra: Eh? Yeah, sure! Sheepy: Yan: Yeah! You're totally ruining the feel of the room with that! *He takes a bite of a bagel he took from the kitchen.* Arsé-kun: Angra: You again! Sheepy: Yan: Eh? I'm a concerned neighbor. Did you know that your refrigerator is running? Sheepy: Eiji: It...it is? Sheepy: Yan: Yeah, you should go catch it! Arsé-kun: Angra: Well, you'd better go catch it, Assassin! Sheepy: Yan: That's not my job! Sheepy: Eiji:...Um...um... Sheepy: Yan: So like. Sheepy: Yan: Did you know that your table is eating someone? Sheepy: Eiji:...Wh-what's the punchline? Sheepy: Yan: No, your table is literally eating someone. Arsé-kun: Angra: ... Oh, shit! *he pulls the "smock" off* I forgot I took this off it earlier! ... Is it REALLY doing that? Sheepy: Yan: Yup. Arsé-kun: Angra: I gotta see this! *he squeezes past Eiji and Yan, getting paint on the doorframe as he goes. whoops* Sheepy: *Eiji follows Angra.* Arsé-kun: *Angra goes to where the table was last. It's, well, not there.* Sheepy: Eiji:...Huh? Sheepy: Eiji: I-It definitely was there... Arsé-kun: Angra: And nobody's been around here? Yanny, where's the table at? Sheepy: Yan: The room with the detective. Arsé-kun: *and Angra rushes over for a once in a lifetime view* Sheepy: *Eiji follows* Sheepy: Eiji: Ah.....ah.... Th-the table... Sheepy: Yan: Ain't that a predicament. Sheepy: Eiji: It's eating him! Arsé-kun: Angra: Is this vore? Sheepy: Yan: You think that snakes are into vore? Arsé-kun: Angra: Oh absolutely. Sheepy: Eiji: ...........Cu! Arsé-kun: Acu: What! Sheepy: Eiji: The table i-is...is Sheepy: Eiji: .... Sheepy: Eiji: A....alive? And it's eating someone! Arsé-kun: Acu: .... ... *he trudges in, not looking thrilled at all. He looks at the situation* what. Sheepy: Eiji: P...please help. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... *he just. takes his spear. and goes to push the "table" away from Holmes. eat THIS monster* Sheepy: *The table hisses and lets go of Holmes, backing off and getting into a defensive position* Sheepy: Satoru:....Who removed the tablecloth? Sheepy: Eiji: ...Uh...? Sheepy: Satoru: *he removes Holmes’s blanket and puts it on top of the table.* Sheepy: *The table stops hissing...and changes back into a normal table. “Normal”.* Arsé-kun: Angra: Hey, quick question? What the hell? Sheepy: Satoru: What? Sheepy: Satoru: It was cold. Arsé-kun: Angra: Okay, better question! Why weren't w-- Why couldn't I detect that even bein' here?? Sheepy: Satoru: Because it's jut a normal table. Arsé-kun: Angra: Fantastic! I definitely won't abuse any of this information! Arsé-kun: Angra: *he is absolutely going to abuse this information for the following month* Sheepy: Satoru: Make sure to give it a tablecloth. Sheepy: Satoru: Otherwise, it'll eat you as you sleep. Arsé-kun: Angra: Well okay! Sheepy: Eiji:....what is that? Sheepy: Satoru: A table. Sheepy: Eiji:....N....No, that's not a table. Arsé-kun: Acu: *he pokes it with his spear again. prooood* Sheepy: *The table does nothing.* Arsé-kun: *...And Acu plops down next to it. To, uh, make sure it doesn't do anything. Yeah.* Sheepy: *It doesn't react.* Arsé-kun: *Thrilling.* Sheepy: *yes* Arsé-kun: *ok it's now boring, lets check in on the latest gilkidu stream* Sheepy: Gil: This is a predicament. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: .... .... *he looks disappointed.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ... Okay, sir, lets start over. Please remember that their biol- Sheepy: Gil: I understand why this isn't working! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Is it because there are fifty gorillas in the entrance? Sheepy: Gil: We need more lions! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: My lord.. Sheepy: Gil: *He restarts* Well, what's wrong with my plan? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sir, people bring their children to this zoo. Please put the animals in the cages I set up for you as intended. Sheepy: Gil: But didn't you see how happy they were outside of the cages? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sure, but the children.. Sheepy: Gil: Free food for the animals. Sheepy: Gil: Our zoo is thrifty! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Gilgamesh! Sheepy: Gil: Yes? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That is not the appropriate diet for lions! Sheepy: Gil: Why not? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: What do you mean why not? ... Because human children don't have enough nutrients, they're far too small! Sheepy: Gil: Hmmm, but food is food. Arsé-kun: Lance: what have you done. *he drops into frame. hello* why are people dying? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I wonder why!! Sheepy: Gil: Oh, our lions don't like people very much. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: *he is getting progressively more annoyed* Gee! I do wonder why, my King! Sheepy: Gil: What's wrong? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Gil, I work at a zoo. And you've unleashed lions on the populace. Clean up your mess. Sheepy: Gil: Hmmm... Sheepy: Gil: *He opens up the menu to add more animals...* Arsé-kun: Lance: This zoo needs an ak-47 Sheepy: *....and starts rapidly clicking, adding a ton of crocodiles...* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Please tell me you aren't adding 101 crocodiles. Sheepy: Gil: It's widely known that the lion's rival in the wild is the crocodile. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: You're not entirely wrong, but... *and they put face in hands. siiigh* Sheepy: Gil: ......Mmm, the computer sounds like it's dying but the lions aren't ... Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Where did that lion go? Sheepy: Gil: Which on- Oh. Ohhhhh. Sheepy: Gil: It's halfway through the ground... Arsé-kun: Lance: Is that normal? Sheepy: Gil: Is it? Arsé-kun: Lance: You had lions. You tell me. Sheepy: Gil: Enkidu? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: .... *he peeks between his fingers* That's a lion. Sheepy: Gil: Is this normal? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ..... Yes, sure. Lions clip through the ground in the wild as well as in captivity.. Sure, right, don't worry about that.. *she giggles* Sheepy: Gil: Uhuh. Sheepy: Gil: I see. Arsé-kun: Lance: .. So how do you beat crocodiles? Sheepy: Gil: Enkidu? Sheepy: Gil: What can beat crocodiles? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: In the game or in real life? Sheepy: Gil: Is there a difference? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Uh... Yes. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: In game I know less, so let's assume... More crocodiles. Sheepy: Gil: Oh! Good idea. Good enough that I coukd have thought of it myself! Wuhahahahaha! Sheepy: *Gil starts rapidly clicking again. ... The game has stopped responding...* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: We've done it. We've defeated the crocodiles. Sheepy: Gil: Have we really? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: In but a moment they'll cease to exist. I count this as a victory. Sheepy: Gil: But so will your zoo. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I saved the layout. You never saved. Sheepy: Gil:...Hmmm. Arsé-kun: Lance: Does this mean we can play a horror game now? Sheepy: Gil: That's what the brat said when I discovered that his sims were alive again... Sheepy: Gil: "You didn't save!" Sheepy: Gil: Hah, what horror game did you want to play? Arsé-kun: Lance: What haven't you screamed over yet..? Sheepy: Gil: Hmmm... Sheepy: Gil: Wait! I don't scream! Arsé-kun: Lance: Mozart says otherwise. Don't yell at me about it.. Sheepy: Gil: I never scream. Arsé-kun: *Lance starts looking through a list of games. What hasn't been played yet on this here system?* Sheepy: Gil: *He helps look.* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Wake is untouched. Sheepy: Gil: Let's play that then. Arsé-kun: Lance: Go in blind or check the description? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Go in blind, you pussies. *he hops onto the couch. Only the top of his head is in the frame. It doesn't help that he's avoiding being on camera* I bet you won't. Sheepy: Gil: Of course I'll go in blind! Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Chat seems to agree with Caster. Blind it is. Arsé-kun: Lance: So we'll play this for a couple of days, spend a day or two on the dlcs, and move onnn? Sheepy: Gil: Sure, fine by me. Arsé-kun: Lance: Then you guys get started. I'll plan ahead. Sheepy: *Gil begins playing.* Arsé-kun: "Stephen King once wrote that "Nightmares exist outside of logic, and there's little fun to be had in explanations; they're antithetical to the poetry of fear." In a horror story, the victim keeps asking "Why?" But there can be no explanation, and there shouldn't be one. The unanswered mystery is what stays with us the longest, and it's what we'll remember in the end. My name is Alan Wake. I'm a writer." Arsé-kun: Hans: Bullshit, people usually fill in the blanks themselves. Sheepy: Gil: Hah! As if I'd bother remembering something that serves no purpose. Arsé-kun: Hans: Don't go that far. You'll miss all of the Chekov guns that way. Sheepy: Gil: What? Arsé-kun: Hans: Who cares? Here's the hot wife. Narration isn't important if you're presented with boobs. Sheepy: Gil: Ahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Hans: Oh, is she not here yet? I thought she was the first cutscene. Arsé-kun: Hans: I'll shut up, then. Arsé-kun: *and they start the tutorial. it's pretty straightforward, but doesn't explain much about itself* Sheepy: Gil: Mmm...we aren't at the good part, hm. Arsé-kun: Hans: Shut up and do the tutorial. Sheepy: Gil: *He begins actually doing the tutorial* Fine! Sheepy: Gil: *He's rapidly clicking. Bad tutorial. Leave.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: *he sighs and gets in Gil's way to actually do the tutorial* Sheepy: Gil: ? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: We won't have to deal with it if we do it. Sheepy: Gil: *He huffs* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Completing a process is the easiest way to eliminate it from needing to be done. Sheepy: Gil: *Pout* Sheepy: Gil: I know everything I need to know! Why do I need to play a tutorial? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: To learn and practice the things you don't. Now play it. *she gets out of the way* Because you know how I play. Sheepy: Gil: Hah, you've defeated the purpose of the tutorial. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Would you rather I do it? Sheepy: Gil: No. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Then get moving, my lord. I only started it. Sheepy: *Gil actually does the tutorial* Arsé-kun: Hans: Is this holy light god? Or is it Gil's AOU? Sheepy: Gil: Hah! As if I'd let them use my AUO! Arsé-kun: Hans: It's a holy dick. Sheepy: Gil: What? Arsé-kun: Hans: They have not told you anything of value and are clearly important. What a dick. Sheepy: *Gil continues...he seems to not notice Lobo, who's chewing on his collar. Or maybe he wants to ignore it.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Is that good, Lobo? Sheepy: Lobo: *He pauses and looks to Enkidu, before licking them.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Oh, thank you. Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Sheepy: Gil: Lancelot, would you stop barking? Arsé-kun: Lance: Aaa? I did not.. Sheepy: Gil: *He looks behind him...only to be greeted by Lobo's snout being shoved in his face.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Lobo's here to help! Sheepy: Gil: Who let the dog in??? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sir, the door is shut. Sheepy: Gil: Exactly. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: He let himself in. Oh, I saw a glowy. Make sure to pick that up. Sheepy: Gil: *He does so* Oh, yes, I saw th- how does a dog open a door? Sheepy: Gil:...Oh. Right. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: With the proper application of force. Or bypassing it entirely, in Lobo's case. Sheepy: Gil: I forgot about that. Arsé-kun: Hans: That is information I still downright hate. He could break into my writing spots and get his paws on my manuscripts. Sheepy: Gil: Don't give him ideas. Sheepy: Gil: He broke into my room and trashed it. Sheepy: Lobo: *boof* Arsé-kun: Hans: Could he fit into a space the size of a cardboard box? He does not sit if he does not fit. Usually. Sheepy: Gil: I haven't a clue. Sheepy: Lobo: *He tilts his head* Arsé-kun: Hans: Look, boobs! Sheepy: Gil: *Yess* Sheepy: Lobo: *He doesn't care. He is sniffing around the room now.* Arsé-kun: Hans: You did it. You beat the tutorial. And it only took you twenty minutes. Sheepy: Gil: There were many distractions. Arsé-kun: Lance: *he reaches out and pats Lobo. bawoof* Arsé-kun: Hans: Oh, that wasn't a complaint. The first stream I saw of this took almost an hour. Sheepy: *Lobo sniffs at Lance. hello!* Sheepy: Gil: Hah! Well, I am the King of Heroes! Do you expect me to be a slowpoke!? Arsé-kun: Lance: *he leans his head forward. boop.* Arsé-kun: Hans: I doubt you want an answer to that. Sheepy: Lobo: *He plops down next to Lance. This ...human? acts weird and requires further inspection.* Sheepy: Gil: Hah, don't waste your breath! I know what you will say! Arsé-kun: Hans: Tell me, then. Sheepy: Gil: I'm the fastest of them all! Arsé-kun: Hans: You rush through things because you don't want to be seen as dimwitted and slow, but you are fully aware that you get better outcomes when you use your remaining three braincells. Sheepy: Gil: ....Hah? Arsé-kun: Hans: I'll see myself out so that my next manuscript can come out on time. Sheepy: Gil: Don't you run away! Arsé-kun: Hans: Oh, I am certainly not running. The correct term would be "bolting".. *and he bolts. bye* Sheepy: *Gil pauses to angle the camera to point directly at Lobo and then chases Hans.* Arsé-kun: *Gil is not successful. He continues hunting for Andersen after the stream is over, and even into the next day.* Sheepy: Tristan: Watching that king is sad. Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes.. Sheepy: Tristan: *He strums his harp* If only he could learn forgiveness... Sheepy: Bedi: Your toast is burning. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah... how sad... Sheepy: Tristan: No matter what I try... simply, I'll be no better than a king who runs around like his head has been removed... that is the phrase, yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's close enough! Sheepy: Bedi: Tristan, your toast. Arsé-kun: *Merlin reaches over and unplugs the toaster* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...I suppose we didn't need that plugged in anyway. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...I smell burning... Arsé-kun: Lance: Your toast, Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...if only I could be better... Arsé-kun: Merlin: At least it isn't black toast. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's still more edible than eyeball. Sheepy: Bedi: Hm? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I had flashbacks to the first time you cooked eyeball. .. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, so anyhoo, can someone pass that butter over? Sheepy: *Bedi passes the butter to Merlin.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks. *and he throws on too much. this is how you clog arteries ladies and gents* Sheepy: Bedi: *Stare...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: What? I can't die. Why not enjoy myself? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah....true. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Actually, I'm not even sure servants can die of too many carbs. That would be absolutely wild. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The Hamburglar, Assassin Class Sheepy: Bedi: Mmm...? Sheepy: Bedi: How does that work? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A lot of bullshit. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm..so you don't know. Sheepy: Tristan: Merlin doesn't know something...? How sad... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, he'd have low presence concealment, because he always gets caught. Sheepy: Tristan: Who is hamburglar? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A purple fat burglar that only steals burgers. They don't even kill people. One star servant, fp only. Sheepy: Bedi: I keep a close eye on my diet to make sure I'm getting enough nutrients so my body will be able to serve my King and Master Eiji. Sheepy: Tristan: Hmmm.. Sheepy: Tristan: So like Lupin but fat and steals only burgers. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I guess so! Sheepy: Tristan: What a sad Heroic Spirit... Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Tristan, he's a fastfood mascot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's not even the mascot! He steals from Ronald McDonald! Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: But the purple chicken mcnugget isn't Ronald McDonald either. Sheepy: Bedi: However, he's also a mascot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The only one I can outright confirm is that Willy Wonka is a Berserker. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But instead of rice like Archer, he gives out candy and sexually confusing young children by exposing them to strange fetishes. Sheepy: Bedi: Eh.. Sheepy: Bedi: Eh...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The girl who turned into a blueberry made many children inflation fetishists. Sheepy: Bedi: What... Sheepy: Bedi: That's... Sheepy: Bedi: *He looks a bit disturbed...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, ok, not KIDS! When they grew up, I mean! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, but still. Sheepy: Bedi: Willy Wonka is apparently a very influential man. Sheepy: Bedi:..... Sheepy: Bedi: What other mascots are there? Sheepy: Bedi: What about the pringles man? Sheepy: Bedi: I think that the pringles man would be a berserker. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmm... Not sure. Maybe? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, it'd explain why he thinks that putting chips in cans is a good idea. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you saying berserkers are stupid? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmmm...well. Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Lancelot is not dumb. Sheepy: Bedi: However, Sir Lancelot did not invent pringles. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Rrr? *he had stopped listening* Sheepy: Bedi: Therefore already giving him a point in his favor. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... ... Could use the can aaas a weapon.. Sheepy: Bedi: You could use pringles as a weapon. Arsé-kun: Lance: !! Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Could use chips as throwing knives.. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh dear... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Have you ever had a chip bit break off and land in your eye? It's awful! This is what eyelashes are for and they don't do their job! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, yes. Sheepy: Bedi: And then you wash your eye and it doesn't help. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah. I haven't personally experienced it, but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who designed the human eyelash and decided it was fine?? Who saw they get tangled and fall off and don't do anything- Yeah!- and said it was okay?? I want to speak to the manager! Sheepy: Bedi: Mmm...Evolution. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fuck you, Charles Darwin! Sheepy: Bedi: Do you think Charles Darwin is a heroic spirit? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Caster. Noble Phantasm can hasten or delay evolution. Can induce sentience. Sheepy: Bedi: How frightening... Arsé-kun: *in the background, proto has put poptarts in the toaster. why isn't it toasting? idiot.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh. Sheepy: Bedi: Do you think that Charles Darwin is a Saber face? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I hope not! Sheepy: Bedi: Other-me is. Sheepy: Bedi: Which feels weird. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's so depressing. He needs to get laid. Sheepy: Bedi: Is he? He just seems a little disappointed in everyone. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wah, wah, I couldn't do anything! Man, shut up, you did your best. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...but... Sheepy: Bedi: It's okay to regret your past decisions. Try to learn from them. Sheepy: Bedi: And then try to fix them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Exactly! Don't cry about them hours on end and do nothing! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, exactly Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... Sheepy: Tristan: To think someone would do that.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sir Tristan... With all due respect, you do that too! Sheepy: Tristan: No I don't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaan, I don't get people. There's a grand total of three humans I have understood, and boy are you not one of them! You're like a puzzle, in an enigma, crying in a magic box wrapped in sheet music and despair! Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...how cruel... Sheepy: Tristan: You and Sir Bedivere are very capable at being mean... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Was that an insult? Sheepy: Tristan: No. Arsé-kun: Merlin: oooookay. Sheepy: Tristan: Why would I insult you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, why not? Sheepy: Tritan: Because then you'll insult me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why would I do that, beautiful? Sheepy: Tristan: Becaue I deserve to be insulted. Arsé-kun: Lance: You stop that. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...how sad... Arsé-kun: Lance: stop Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot wishes I stop speaking... Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, did you know? Arsé-kun: Lance: You're friend. Sheepy: Bedi: Ant eggs are eaten in some places. Sheepy: Tristan: *He begins to reply to Lance before just staring at Bedi* Arsé-kun: Lance: Arrêtez. Sheepy: Bedi: And spiders. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd rather talk about, pardon my french, putain. I don't remember how to use that word properly. Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... Not... Not like that. Sheepy: Bedi: Is that a food? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Er... N.. No.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, it could be! In theory? Sheepy: Bedi: It sounds like a cheese based dish. Which reminds me... Arsé-kun: *Lance snorts. Bedi...* Sheepy: Bedi: Did you know that in some places, they serve cheese covered ma- *loud harp noise from Tristan* Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, he didn't get to finish! What a tragedy. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, speaking of which... Sheepy: Bedi: We should go camping one day! Don't worry, I can cook in any outdoors situation! *He appears extremely proud of himself!* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... I wanted to go but never got to... Sheepy: Bedi: Sometimes it's just relaxing to look at a clear night sky, away from all humanity. Your stress just melts away... ah, but I guess we can't. Arsé-kun: Lance: Why not..? Master went and did it.. Sheepy: Bedi: Because what about Master Eiji... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We use those big strong arms of yours! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh? We could bring him along, but... Arsé-kun: *Proto is still in the background. He has accomplished poptarts, but the discussion is more important. Possible excitement?* Sheepy: Tristan: I want to be able to cook from the creatures I slay... Sheepy: Bedi: Who should we invite? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The vibrating dog behind you. Sheepy: Bedi: Lobo? Arsé-kun: Proto: We're going camping again?? :Dc Sheepy: Bedi: We're considering it. Arsé-kun: *That's one excited dog!* Sheepy: Bedi: Should we send an invite to the other knights? Arsé-kun: Lance: We could.. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, we an assume Sir Kay and Sir Griflet can't go. Same for Sir Lucan and his king...ah, I suppose he is our king, too....! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who says? I bet Arthur would love to shove Lucan into the wilderness. Sheepy: Bedi: How? Sheepy: Bedi: How do you do butler work in the middle of the woods? Sheepy: Bedi:....Oh! That's it. You can't. Sheepy: Bedi: He'd probably be miserable... Sheepy: Tristan: How sad. Sheepy: Bedi: But he does want to go on adventures. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... I did tell him I would bring him along eventually. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, let's send a general invite out to the group. Sheepy: Bedi:// We're going camping soon. Does anyone want to come? Arsé-kun: Kay:// I'd love to, but me n Grif have the kid. I'll pass 4now Sheepy: Lucan:// my king you should go and bring master, I'll babysit the shop Sheepy: Arthur:// Sir Lucan would be interested in going. Arsé-kun: Lance:// Lucan, didn't I promise to take you for an adventure of sorts? Sheepy: Lucan://... Sheepy: Lucan:// Well, will you? Arsé-kun: Lance:// Why would I say it and not follow through? Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmm Arsé-kun: Lance:// Don't actually answer that, theres a lot of answers Sheepy: Lucan:// lolol look at saber you and come back to me on that question Sheepy: Lucan:// jkjk I love you pal Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// I'm right here, you gutsy bastard! Sheepy: Lucan:// heyhey don't be mad Arsé-kun: *Kay sends a vine. WHEN U CAN BE. GLADE.* Sheepy: Lucan:// hey saber lancelot you should come with me Sheepy: Lucan:// you don't have a master to take care of anyway right? Sheepy: Lucan:// and nor does gawain so he should come Sheepy: Gawain:// Yes I do. Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// I'll see if I can manage it. Sheepy: Lucan:// you have responsibilities? Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// Yes! Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// Hmmmmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// I believe you Sheepy: Lucan:// you see if you come along I wont be forced to show other you my noble phantasm because I won't need to Sheepy: Lucan:// which like as coolbas it is, 9/10 people describe it as horrifying andthe tenth is disgutsing Arsé-kun: Saberlot:// How about you just don't do it Arsé-kun: *Proto is looking over Lance's shoulder. Excitement has not faded at all.* Arsé-kun: Lance:// Prototype Cu is also most likely joining us. Don't you work with him, Lucan? Sheepy: Lucan:// who Sheepy: Lucan:// oh wait Sheepy: Lucan:// which one Sheepy: Lucan:// old or young Sheepy: Bedi:// He's the young one. Sheepy: Lucan:// ok so let's open a shop in the middle of the woods. Sheepy: Lucan:// that way we can work Sheepy: Gawain:// What do you sell in the middle of the woods Sheepy: Lucan:// bugs Arsé-kun: Merlin:// To who?? Who tf are you going to sell bugs to? The wildlife?? Sheepy: Lucan:// bug eaters like you Arsé-kun: Merlin:// wHAT Sheepy: Lucan:// lolol merlin eats bugs Sheepy: Bedi:// Oh, did you know? Sheepy: Bedi:// Palworm beetles are extremely nutritious and are a good source of protein. Sheepy: Lucan://... Arsé-kun: *Saberlot has left the chatroom* Arsé-kun: *Lancelot has left the chatroom* Sheepy: Bedi://? Sheepy: Bedi:// Ah, they must've misclicked! We should invite them back! Arsé-kun: Lance: ... I just ate. Do you need to share bug facts? Sheepy: Lucan:// yeah misclicking trying to block you Arsé-kun: Lance: We don't all have iron stomachs like you. Sheepy: Bedi: Huh...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Translation; Do not like the discussion. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! Sorry. Arsé-kun: *Lancelot has entered the chatroom* Sheepy: Lucan:// lol was he dragged back in Arsé-kun: Lance:// No. Sheepy: Lucan:// you don't need to hide it we know the person who put emoji responses on everything brought you bsck Arsé-kun: Lance:// I'm sitting next to him. Sheepy: Lucan:// I meant the queen Arsé-kun: Lance:// Sheepy: Lucan:// unless arturia's guinevere is male? Arsé-kun: Lance: *he grumbles, loudly* Arsé-kun: Lance:// hey! stfu Sheepy: Bedi: What is it? Sheepy: Lucan:// well I was kinda confused at first Arsé-kun: Merlin:// That's fair! Arsé-kun: *Lance just looks grumpy. the norm. the usual for berserkerlot. take a nap, drink water* Sheepy: Lucan:// since like mine is very different in general Sheepy: Lucan:// and what's weirder is that there's two bedis and neither of them are the king's Sheepy: Lucan:// not gonna touch on the fact that there's 11 of him including him and one is santa claus. Arsé-kun: Santa:// talk shit get hit scrub Sheepy: Lucan:// hey now it's weird to be santa in OCTOBER. Sheepy: Lucan:// be creative. be a HALLOWEEN santa. Arsé-kun: Santa:// What, did you think Santa just vanishes January first? Sheepy: Lucan:// he's legally required to lol Arsé-kun: Santa:// No. That would make for an absurd Servant. Sheepy: Lucan://... Sheepy: Lucan://................. Sheepy: Lucan://....................... Sheepy: Lucan:// ok Sheepy: Lucan:// I kinda assumed that he just got drunk at bars for the rest of the year Arsé-kun: Santa:// I wish it was that easy. Sheepy: Lucan:// that's a lie I don't believe in santa Arsé-kun: Santa:// Understandable, I hope you like coal Sheepy: Lucan:// give bedi coal too Sheepy: Lucan:// he believes in santa but he won't after that Arsé-kun: Santa:// He can already burn himself without the coal. Sheepy: Lucan:// but you don't dispute him being on the naughty list after him telling us bug facts Sheepy: Lucan:// I think that all of us are permanently on the naughty list but mostly merlin Sheepy: Bedi:// Please don't bully Santa. She works really hard. Arsé-kun: Santa:// Thank you. Merlin has his own list. There is a different bag here, and every time I or another Arthur get mad at him, we put another piece of coal into it. By December I will have a weapon. Sheepy: Bedi:// Don't worry, Merlin, I'll protect you. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// But see, she has to catch me with it first. Sheepy: Bedi:// But Merlin... Sheepy: Bedi:// Don't you know? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// uh oh Sheepy: Bedi:// Santa travels the whole world in one night!! Sheepy: Bedi:// So Santa must be very fast! Arsé-kun: Merlin:// But Bedi, she did it in seven days. Most Santa servants are given extra time. Sheepy: Bedi://....huh? Sheepy: Bedi:// But she travels the world in one night...that's what they say always. Arsé-kun: Santa:// +1 coal Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Did I earn that one for slander? Nice. Sheepy: Bedi:// Why would they lie about Santa? Santa is a hard worker! Sheepy: Lucan:// santa isn't real Arsé-kun: Santa:// -300 coal, +1 black key set Sheepy: Lucan:// is that bad? Sheepy: Lucan:// 300 coal = 1 black key set Sheepy: Lucan:// how much is 300 coal sold for? coal is a very valuable resource. Sheepy: Lucan:// it fuels many things. Arsé-kun: Santa:// Black keys are almost worthless. I'm not giving you all that free stuff- It's of use to you. You get keys instead. Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmmmmmmmm Sheepy: Lucan:// free stuff from a mall santa is already good Arsé-kun: Santa:// Merry fuck-youmas Sheepy: Lucan:// I can't sit on a mall santa's lap and ask for a train set for christmas because I'm an adult Arsé-kun: Santa:// And you're not getting it. Sheepy: Lucan:// lolol I don't want a train set Sheepy: Lucan:// unless you mean the black keys Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmm for christmas I want Sheepy: Lucan:// a working body so I don't have to wear bandages all the time Sheepy: Lucan:// good luck santa Sheepy: Lucan:// if you can grant that I'll believe in santa Arsé-kun: Santa:// well shit Sheepy: Lucan:// if you can't, well Arsé-kun: Santa:// If Santa's magic can prevent Servants from fading, it can sure do that. You're still getting keys though. Sheepy: Lucan:// why are you giving me keys Sheepy: Lucan:// what do they open Sheepy: Lucan:// I guess it'd cause problems for my np but I've heard of "np upgrades" Sheepy: Lucan:// and anyway I can't use it anyway Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks up from his phone* Who else can we drag along? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So whoever wants to! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm..who would want to? Arsé-kun: Proto: Who wouldn't? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. Arsé-kun: Proto: I can ask! Arsé-kun: Lance: Uhhhhh... Sure, go ahead.. Arsé-kun: Proto: Okay!! *and he's off to the races. there would be a dust cloud, were there any dust to kick up in the first place.* Sheepy: Bedi:....Hmm Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahahahaha! O Knights of the Round, have you finally decided to go and fulfill your name by adventuring as you supposedly did? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Yeah. Sheepy: Ozy: And your king isn't going ? Sheepy: Bedi: I....don't think so. Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahaha! How lonely you will be without a kingly presence! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He doesn't have to! Many of the knights have had solo adventures. Sheepy: Ozy: Hahahahahahaha! How lonely! Arsé-kun: Lance: *he nudges Tristan* How sad. Sheepy: Ozy: Oh! If only a king would accompany you! Hahahahaha! Sheepy: Tristan: Snrrzz...Uh? Oh, I wasn't sleeping. Sheepy: Bedi:? Arsé-kun: Lance: sure. Sheepy: Ozy: If only....by some miracle.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, stop being tsundere. Just say you want to come, Pharaoh. Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! Hahahaha! Ha! Sheepy: Ozy: Ha! Ha! Arsé-kun: Merlin: What are you doing, loading a response? Sheepy: Ozy: No. I'm considering if I'll grace you with my presence. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But you already are, and I'm honored to know you can exist outside of the attic! Sheepy: Bedi:...Is that a camping manual in your hand? Sheepy: Ozy: Oh, oh? Sheepy: Ozy: Of course I can. Sheepy: Ozy: However, I'm usually *he casually hides the manual behind his back* busy with my job. Arsé-kun: *Unfortunately for Ozy, a blue missile spots the manual.* Arsé-kun: Proto: Rider!! Do you want to camping! Sheepy: Ozy: Of course not. Arsé-kun: Proto: eh Arsé-kun: Proto: Eh? Sheepy: Ozy: What? Arsé-kun: Proto: Then what's the manual for? Sheepy: Ozy: Boredom. Sheepy: Ozy: That's all. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmmm.. Arsé-kun: Proto: The sun god doesn't want to be out in the sun? Hmmm. Arsé-kun: Proto: But okay! That's fine too! *and he is gone again. and then peers back in. curiosity wins* Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahahahaaha! Anyway. I will find it in my busy schedule to assist you. *He crosses his arms, a huge smile on his face* Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sounds fantastic, great Pharaoh! Sheepy: Ozy: Mmm? I don’t mind the praise, but you don’t need to call me great. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, so I don't need to suck up to you like we do for You-Know-Who? Sheepy: Ozy: No. I’ve got no interest in artificial flattery. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's good to know, sir. Sheepy: Ozy: Again, there’s no need for the artificial flattery. Sheepy: Ozy: I’m just here to get things done. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And done things have been! Sheepy: Ozy: Well, good! Sheepy: Ozy: I’ll enjoy your presence! ... Hmm. Hmmm? *His hair starts to stick up a bit...* Hmmmmm? Sheepy: Bedi: Uh... sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who turned off the gravity? *and he slowly floats up, poking at Ozy. he's grinning. He's teasing.* Sheepy: Ozy: ...Ah? .... Uh. *He quick pats his hair down. ... It sticks up again, but moreso this time...* Sheepy: Ozy: Ahahahahaha! You saw nothing!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I'm fairly certain I'm not blind yet! Sheepy: Bedi: ... *headtilt* ????????? Sheepy: Ozy: Don’t question it! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Too late, too late, what did we see- Arsé-kun: Lance: ALL Sheepy: Tristan: All? Sheepy: Tristan: Ahhh... so everything is darkness. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad, how sad. Arsé-kun: *Lancelot applies his hands to his own face. It is audible.* Sheepy: Tristan: ? Sheepy: Bedi: Did you have a bug on your face? Arsé-kun: Lance: How do we keep coming back to bugs??? Sheepy: Bedi: ...Um. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is it really bugging you that much? :D Sheepy: Tristan: *he turns his face towards Merlin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I suddenly feel as if my face will be shot off if I make another pun. Well, mite be. Sheepy: Tristan: .................. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, he seems annoyed. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What's he gonna do about it? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... *deep breaths, lancelot, you've got this* .. Nnnno. Sheepy: Satoru: That's too bad. Arsé-kun: Proto: Hei, 'Toru! *he squats down. hello down there!* Do you wanna come camping with us soon? :Dc Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Lance: We can't just go today! We would require set-up and- Arsé-kun: Merlin: We've prepared for trips in less time! We totally could. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, we haven't decided yet, but soon. Sheepy: Satoru: ......... Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Proto: Okay! Now I really am going, for real! *and he strolls out scene right* Sheepy: Satoru: Bye. Arsé-kun: *proto can be heard yelling at everyone else. "WHO WANTS TO CAMPING"* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... So I expect this camping trip will be much larger than the first one? Sheepy: Satoru: Really? Sheepy: Satoru: The last time some weirdo was there. Sheepy: Satoru: Sometimes he breaks into our house and steals our silverware. Sheepy: Satoru: Except it's not Yan Qing, who at least has a decent personality. Arsé-kun: *merlin snorts* Sheepy: Satoru: ? Sheepy: *Yan Qing is in the background, eating food that is not his.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Speaking of! Yan Qing, you weren't invited! Sheepy: Yan: Whaaaaat??? Sheepy: Yan: I basically live here now Sheepy: Yan: I'm bored. Arsé-kun: Merlin: hi bored Sheepy: Yan: Bring me along. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Does Haru know you're here..? Sheepy: Yan: Who's...OH. Haku. What does it matter if she doesn't? Sheepy: Yan: She doesn't care too much where I go or what I do. Arsé-kun: Lance: hm. Arsé-kun: Lance: ok. Sheepy: Yan: ANYWAY. Sheepy: Yan: Can I come? Sheepy: Bedi: Have you asked Haku? Sheepy: Yan: Who? ....OH. Haru. Nope! Sheepy: Bedi: But didn't you just- Sheepy: Yan: 'Specially since I don't know any Harus! Sheepy: Bedi:... Sheepy: Yan: I DO know a Haku, though. We talk sometimes. Man, I haven't seen her for years and years a....Hmmm, that's not Haku! Sheepy: Yan: Oh, Haku. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, have you at least told Vlad? Sheepy: Yan: Oh. *he clears his throat* HEY VLAD! IM GOING CAMPING! Arsé-kun: Vlad: YOU WILL DIE BY MY HAND! Sheepy: Yan: NOT FOR LONG! Sheepy: Yan: GET IN LINE! YOU'RE #355! Arsé-kun: Merlin: How unfortunate! I'm only #132! Sheepy: Yan: Aww, poor you... Sheepy: Yan: What did you want to kill me for again? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Sheepy: Bedi: You gave me a number a while back...#295. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You almost ran me over with a golf kart. In the hallway. Sheepy: Yan: Hey, I did beep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You beeped three feet away! Sheepy: Yan: Yeah, exactly. Sheepy: Bedi:.........*Stare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Master almost got run over by a golf kart!~♪ Sheepy: Bedi: *STAAAAAAARE* Sheepy: Yan: Hey, you had your number in line. Sheepy: Yan: And the original #1 hasn't killed me yet. Sheepy: *Bedi just has his usual, normally sincere smile plastered on his face, with a murderous glint in his eye...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Go get'em, babe. Sheepy: Yan: Cutting in line is inherently wrong and no decent person would cut in line. Sheepy: Yan: Therefore, if you kill me, you've cut 294 slots in line and you're level 294 in terms of being a bad person. However, your king's cutoff is 5, so your king would probably fire you. Sheepy: Bedi:...Merlin? Can knights be fired? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? M.. Maybe? Sheepy: Bedi: What level of a bad person am I? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You??? 1% at most! Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Let me be 356. *he slowly gets up, staring down Yan* Arsé-kun: Lance: ... And let me cut the line. Sheepy: Bedi: Is 1% a lot? *He’s beginning to worry...* Sheepy: Yan: Ehhhhh??? Sheepy: Yan: Why do you want to kill me?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Compared to 100%??? Hell no. *he shifts his chair in a bit. So Lancelot doesn't trip on it like an idiot* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...okay Sheepy: Yan: Why aren't you doing anything about this? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You've got like ten seconds to run, while he's formulating an answer! Sheepy: Yan: If you kill me, I'll tell Guinevere. Sheepy: Bedi: There's a flaw in that logic. Arsé-kun: Lance: Do it. I'm already awful, I've been firrrred, and the entire Round Table most likely want you dead. Sheepy: Yan: Why? Sheepy: Yan: I thought we were friends! Sheepy: Yan: Although, I suppose. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *magi mari voice* Remember, kids! Even best friends get angry at each other sometimes! Sheepy: Yan: I think? Sheepy: Tristan: *snore* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aww, shut up and take it like a man! *he.. doesn't drop the voice* Yew can do it, Yanny-kwun! Sheepy: Yan: Uhhhhh...hey! Advocating violence is wrong! Sheepy: Yan: Especially in front of his child! Repeat after me, kiddo! Violence is wrong! Sheepy: Satoru: There's around one and a half gallons of blood in the human body, and that's how much will be on the floor after Uncle Lance is done with you. Arsé-kun: *Merlin snorts, loudly. How classy of you.* Arsé-kun: *Even Lancelot seems startled by that, but only for a moment* Sheepy: Bedi: *He looks at Satoru nervously.* Sheepy: Yan: What?! Sheepy: Yan: I'm being bullied! Sheepy: Yan: Listen, if I have to die, I want it to be by the hands of someone pretty. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So we can all do it? Sheepy: Yan: Nah. Sheepy: Yan: Lancelot is a big no, Tristan maybe, you maybe, Bedivere ye-maybe. Sheepy: Yan: You aren't a fair example because you're a shapeshifter. Arsé-kun: *and just like that, the entire table is upset and insulted* Sheepy: Yan: You can look however you want. Sheepy: Yan: Lancelot looks like he's been dead for three days. Tristan could look nice with some work. Sheepy: Yan: Well, he already does. Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... Hhhe's not wrong. Sheepy: Yan: He clearly spends a lot of time preening himself but the obvious signs of constant worry and crying damage his look Sheepy: Yan: And Bedivere... Sheepy: Yan: Actually, if I comment you'll kill me. I don't want death. Sheepy: Yan: So instead: Lancelot, you should work on yourself more. Sheepy: Yan: Gawain has lots of skin care stuff so he's the guy to go to for that. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Why bother..? Sheepy: Yan: Eh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, no! *interruptingmerlin.jpeg* I won't kill you. *he looks remarkably nonchalant, but his hand is inching towards the silverware* Go on ahead. I wanna hear it. Sheepy: Yan: Whaaaat?? Sheepy: Yan: H-He's...okay??? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he picks up his silverware. and his plate. oh* What's your standards? Sheepy: Yan: *He's nervously eyeing the silverware* S...standards? Sheepy: Bedi:? Oh! My standards for a knight are-ah, you're talking to him. Sheepy: Yan: Uh. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What's your scale to compare to? Like, what's a one and what's a ten? *and he shoves pancake into mouth. food.* Sheepy: Yan: Hmmmmm. Sheepy: Yan: Well Sheepy: Yan: Tepes is a one. Sheepy: Yan: I don't really have a ten. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not even a nine? Sheepy: Yan: Hmmmmm. Sheepy: Yan: Well, Caligula's also a one. Sheepy: Yan: Gawain's a four. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So you don't like rugged looks? Is that what it is? You into dorito chins? Sheepy: Yan: Eh? Sheepy: Yan: Would you describe Gawain as rugged? Sheepy: Yan: I'd describe him more as...hm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a bit bigger in the lower face. Just a bit. Sheepy: Yan: Well, it's not that. Sheepy: Yan: Personality is a large part of your appearance. Sheepy: Yan: Your ugly traits can become ugly physical traits. Sheepy: Yan: And as a braggart who insults those around him and looks down upon people he doesn't consider up to snuff, that is translated into his appearanxe through body language and facial expressions. Sheepy: Yan: He might be higher if it weren't for that! Sheepy: Bedi: Appearance shouldn't matter in your standards. A pretty knight is not necessarily a strong knight! Sheepy: Bedi: What matters is his wit, physical capabilities, level of kindness, empathy, height, loyalty, responsibility, skill, determination, ability to work with others, independence, strictness, habits, social relations, willingness to learn, muscle build, ability to push past his limits- Sheepy: Yan: I'm not trying to pick a knight, I want a girlfriend! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here we go again! Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, are there standards for significant others? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Depends on the individual! Arsé-kun: Merlin: For example! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he gestures to Tristan* Somehow, yes. *to himself* Absolutely. *to Bedi* Of course you do! *to Lancelot* A certainty. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm. Sheepy: Bedi: I never thought about it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Obviously you have if you've put up with me this long! Sheepy: Bedi: Mmmm, well. Sheepy: Bedi: It's not really putting up with you. Sheepy: Bedi: This feels like the time I was told that all of those people who would ask me to marry them or said strange complimentary things to me were doing it because they were attracted to me... I feel that same sense of confusion. Sheepy: Bedi: "Was I supposed to know that?" Sheepy: Bedi: I assumed it was just a joke. Sheepy: Yan: I just felt you drop on my standards a bit. Arsé-kun: *Merlin hands Lancelot a knife in the background* Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Why am I not "1" to begin with? Sheepy: Bedi: Standards for people to date- but I'm already with Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: So I should be a one. Sheepy: Yan:......... Sheepy: Yan: This was about appearance! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah? But appearance doesn't matter... Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, help. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nah. I'm too far back in line to reach you. Sheepy: Yan: You're so cold! Sheepy: Yan: Why is everyone so mean today?? Sheepy: Tristan: *Snore* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not everyone! Sheepy: Yan: No, everyone! The dog tried to bite me and then you guys bullied me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not even unusual! Sheepy: Yan: It's not? Sheepy: Yan: I don't really remember. Sheepy: Yan: Just that there's free food and people I like here! Arsé-kun: *MEANWHILE in the background, events include: Mink and Satoru sharing cereal out of the box, Ozy ignoring everything in favor of sphinx kitten, distant Proto yelling (still), and Vlad passing through looking 110% done* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe you oughta work on that! Sheepy: Yan: Eh? I try, that's why I talk to Haku. Sheepy: Yan: Oh, but I won't tell you the issue! Sheepy: Yan: Nobody's allowed to know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And for the fourth time, Doppelganger can suck a wiggly dick. Sheepy: Yan: Just know that I've already improved a lot....mmm? I've told you? Sheepy: Yan: Oh, I guess so. Sheepy: Yan: But as I said, I've improved so I can go camping with you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nice! And look, you've survived the encounter with the line cutter. *he looks around. where the FUCK did lancelot go* Sheepy: Yan: Eh, you're right. Sheepy: Yan: I'm safe! Arsé-kun: Merlin: For now. Sheepy: Bedi: *He appears lost in thought...* Sheepy: Yan: If he tries to kill me later, I'll make it as unfun as possible. Sheepy: Yan: I'll lie down on the floor and cry. Arsé-kun: Minako: That'd probably stop him outright. *oh, there she is, next to Satoru* If you wanna make him miserable, use your presence concealment! You've got that, right? Sheepy: Yan: How would that help? Arsé-kun: Minako: Because he'll give up if he doesn't find you! Just don't hide in the water! Sheepy: Yan:....eh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's like some sort of shark. With guns. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But he's not a freak like Kay, and that's what counts! Sheepy: Yan: Oooohhh.. Sheepy: Yan: That's scary. Sheepy: Yan: Lancelot, too. Sheepy: Bedi:...... Arsé-kun: Minako: So when are we going, tomorrow? Sheepy: Bedi:...Huh? Oh, I don't know. Sheepy: Bedi: When do you think, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I try not to. Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: You don't want to go camping? Sheepy: Bedi: That's fine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not... ... R-slash-whoosh. I think we should go tomorrow. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, okay. ... What's r-slash-whoosh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A collection of people missing a joke. Whoosh. There it goes! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't see anything. Was it a bug? Arsé-kun: Minako: Nah, it was a bad joke. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *Proto burns rubber skidding back into the room. Squrrreaaaaaaaaaak! Where'd he get a clipboard from? Where'd he get broken glasses from??* Arsé-kun: Proto: I'm back!! I've asked everybody! Sheepy: Bedi: Thanks? Sheepy: Bedi: Who is coming? Arsé-kun: Proto: Lets see.. *he consults the checklist* Big Bro Caster, tiny king and everyone here were yeses. Avenger, Music Caster, Big Bro Alter and Dirt were maybes. Hyde's still banned. Arsé-kun: Proto: I am also sworn to not discuss that last one. Arsé-kun: Proto: Oh, and the old man. Arsé-kun: Proto: He's a maybe. If big bro Alters going, so's he. Sheepy: Bedi: Old man? Sheepy: Bedi: You mean Moriarty? Arsé-kun: Proto: Not that old. *uhhh* Satoru's other dad. Not Vlad. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah! Sheepy: Bedi: ...Hmm, is Master Eiji old? Sheepy: Bedi: He seems young compared to Merlin. Arsé-kun: Proto: Yeah, that's right. But he sounds older. Sheepy: Bedi: Well. I guess we should start to get ready... will it be too cold? Sheepy: Bedi: Considering it’s October. Sheepy: Satoru: Will we miss Halloween? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's actually gonna be surprisingly warm this week, and no. It's only the twenty.... uh.. What's today again? *he pauses to check his phone* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, that’s good. Sheepy: Satoru: Because Dad will be lonely if I’m not here for Halloween. Sheepy: Satoru. Dad likes Halloween. He likes sewing costumes and ornaments for it. Sheepy: Satoru: He’s very good at it. Arsé-kun: Minako: We didn't get to see much last year, so I hope there's more next week! Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Sheepy: Satoru: What will you be for Halloween? Arsé-kun: Minako: I don't know! I can never decide until the last minute! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: What about you, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm gonna be an Archer. Sheepy: Satoru:....? Sheepy: Satoru: Like Grandpa? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah, like him! Servants get different default outfits in different classes, so I'm gonna be what I'd look like as an Archer! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Bedi: You can be an Archer...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, no. But I can pretend to be! Sheepy: Bedi: Don't give up so easily! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't wanna be an Archer! If I have to be anything, I wanna be a Saber! Sheepy: Bedi: You can be anything you put your mind to! Just work hard towards your goal and you'll eventually accomplish it! Sheepy: Bedi: I believe in you!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Us being here right now is a testament to that! Sheepy: Satoru: I want to be a dinosaur. Sheepy: Satoru: But dinosaurs are dead. Sheepy: Satoru: So I have to settle on being a child instead. Sheepy: Satoru: And one day, thanks to Darwin, I'll evolve into a human being. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he ignores most of that. actively.* They don't have to be alive! It's just a costume! You can be (almost) anything you want. Sheepy: Satoru:..... Sheepy: Satoru:.......... Sheepy: Satoru:...........Minako? Arsé-kun: Minako: Yeah? Sheepy: Satoru: Were...were dinosaurs just people in costumes? Sheepy: Satoru:...... Arsé-kun: Minako: No, of course not. They were big lizards! I think Wizrad meant you can dress up AS one. Sheepy: Satoru: Even the pterodactyls were big lizards? Arsé-kun: Minako: Well, kinda, yeah! They're cousins! or something. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. But if I dress up as a dinosaur, Dad will kill me. Sheepy: Satoru: Dad killed the dinosaurs. He's very strong. Arsé-kun: Minako: I think he'd know the difference between you and a dinosaur! You're not dead! Sheepy: Satoru: The dinosaurs weren't either until he killed them. Arsé-kun: Minako: If a necromancer tried hard enough, could we have dinosaurs- Arsé-kun: Merlin: No Sheepy: Satoru: Jurassic park says don't do that. Sheepy: Satoru: If they come back, Dad can't kill them again. Sheepy: Yan: *Snrrrrk* Sheepy: Satoru: What's so funny...? Sheepy: Yan: Kiddo...dinosaurs existed millions of years ago. Sheepy: Satoru: So did Dad. Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, maybe you should teach him about history eventually! Sheepy: Satoru: Did he see the dinosaurs? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope! But Satoru, uh. The dinosaurs died way before people came around. Sheepy: Satoru: ? Sheepy: Satoru: But Dad is a vampire. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Doesn't matter. Romania as a whole wasn't around then! ... Is this too blunt? Sheepy: Satoru: But... Sheepy: Satoru: *He appears to be struggling to understand...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Your dad's younger than me, and I didn't even get to see the dinosaurs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But dragons, hoo! Sheepy: Satoru:......? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, dragons are just magical dinosaurs when it comes down to it. Sheepy: Satoru: Dad's named after a dragon. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So he's named after a big magic dinosaur! Sheepy: Satoru: But...he...didn't see dinosaurs? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Unless something happened in Romania that I don't know about! Sheepy: Satoru: But...if something happened in Romania... he could've fought the dinosaurs? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I guess so! Sheepy: Satoru: So then he killed the dinosaurs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The only one I'll confirm is he killed the Turks! Sheepy: Satoru: Because things did happen in Romania. If things hadn't happened in Romania, we wouldn't know about it. Sheepy: Satoru: That's where the bones come from. Sheepy: Bedi: Bones come from the ground. Sheepy: Satoru: Bones are like potatoes? Arsé-kun: Minako: Bones come from living things and eventually end up in the ground. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, but you pull them out of the ground, not the living thing. Sheepy: Satoru: Bones are root vegetables... Arsé-kun: Minako: What if it's a mole, smart guy!! Sheepy: Bedi: It dies underground. Arsé-kun: Minako: You can pull moles out of the ground! Sheepy: Bedi: What? Sheepy: Bedi: It decomposes. Sheepy: Bedi: Its bones are underground... Arsé-kun: Minako: They live in the ground!! Sheepy: Bedi: And that's okay. I support their decisions. Sheepy: Bedi: But that doesn't change the fact that dead things end up in the ground. Sheepy: Satoru: Moles are like potatoes. Arsé-kun: Proto: Moles are animals. Potatoes are not. And bones are not potatoes! Sheepy: Satoru: Potatoes have feelings. Sheepy: Satoru: You're actively hurting them. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// This kid just said "potatoes have feelings and you're actively hurting them'. i just put this here for gawains reaction, carry on Sheepy: Gawain:// He's right. Sheepy: Lucan:// that really happened Sheepy: Lucan:// i was the kid Arsé-kun: Kay:// ahbhbKHABSFLI;U37R872N INCREDIBLE Arsé-kun: Merlin:// But no i am being serious that was just said Sheepy: Lucan:// hmmmmmm Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Camping trip is formally and officially tomorrow. Sheepy: Lucan:// who is going Arsé-kun: Merlin:// so many Sheepy: Lucan:// wow Sheepy: Gawain:// Who trusted you to babysit a kid? Arsé-kun: Merlin:// I'm not the only person here!! Sheepy: Gawain:// Not for long with how kids are. Arsé-kun: Merlin:// Are you implying children commit killing?? Sheepy: Gawain:// No Sheepy: Gawain:// They run around and hide. Sheepy: Gawain:// The other person is the kid right Arsé-kun: Lance:// no Sheepy: Gawain:// Oh. Sheepy: Gawain:// Lancelot is worse with kids. Arsé-kun: Lance:// I'm right here you asshole. Arsé-kun: Kay:// Fight fight fight Sheepy: Gawain:// Yes, and? Arsé-kun: *Lance grumbles as he comes back in, pocketing his phone and dropping back into his seat.* Sheepy: Satoru: It's Uncle Lance. Arsé-kun: Lance: mmmhm. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you know? Sheepy: Satoru: Dad killed a dragon. Arsé-kun: Lance: *grunt* Sheepy: Satoru: I agree. Sheepy: Satoru: Dad is that strong. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Sir Lancelot! Sheepy: Bedi: How are you feeling? Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... bit better. Sheepy: Bedi: That's good! *LATER THAT EVENING!* Arsé-kun: *Kay's obnoxious laughter can be heard long before anything else. oh no* Arsé-kun: Kay: You looked like a beetroot, wizard! Tomatos be damned, and your eyebrow was going to wiggle right off from twitching too much! Sheepy: Satoru: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: And... not not lamp... Fantastic! Sheepy: Satoru: He seemed nice. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, he was! Sheepy: Satoru: People who wear glasses usually are...like Grandpa. And...um...Jekyll. ... And... Sheepy: Satoru:....Grandpa. Arsé-kun: *Merlin, meanwhile, is glaring adamantium daggers at Fou- who is riding on Satoru's head- while holding the chewed-off leash from Mr. Pointy.* Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Merlin, did you have fun with your friend? Sheepy: Satoru: The shirtless one. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. I did. Sheepy: Satoru: That's good. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you see Mr. Kay's dog? It's a good dog. Arsé-kun: Kay: That'd be a weird dog. Sheepy: Satoru: Huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: T'was a horse, of course! Sheepy: Satoru: I like horses. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh, Uncle Merlin. Sheepy: Satoru: Mr. Kay told me you had another name. Sheepy: Satoru: Instead of Uncle Merlin, do you want to be Uncle Dumb- Arsé-kun: *is someone barking or screaming? it's hard to tell sometimes. oh. it's... Lancelot, fulfilling his name as the mad dog. Arrrrr!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: oh no Sheepy: Satoru: Oh no? Arsé-kun: Merlin: What is it this time? Sheepy: Satoru: Instead of Uncle Merlin, do you want to be Uncle Dumb- Arsé-kun: *and the rest is drowned out by Kay downright howling with laughter.* Sheepy: Satoru: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Guinevere is going to have your head, Sir Kay. I'm going to let her. Sheepy: *Speaking of Guinevere, she rushes out to see them!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey, Guin! Merlin's a dumbass and you knew that already! Sheepy: Satoru: *He parrots Kay* Sheepy: Guin: *Staaaaaare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Rest in peace Kay Ceinfarfog, your second life was full of alcohol, like your bloodstream. Sheepy: Guin: I'll deal with that later. What did Merlin do? Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, he lost the kid for who knows how long! I had to babysit! Sheepy: Guin: He did WHAT Sheepy: Satoru: He was with his friend. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It wasn't my fault!! Look at the le-- Look at Mr. Pointy's leash! *he holds it up* I didn't do this! Sheepy: Guin: Then who did?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: This little rat! *he grabs Fou by the scruff* Chewed right through it! Sheepy: Guin:............ Sheepy: Satoru: Fou is very nice and warm. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou? Sheepy: Satoru: I like Fou. He's my friend. He's fluffy like Lobo. Arsé-kun: Kay: And with that, I'm gonna head home! Good luck not being buried before camping, wizard! *and he skedaddles* Sheepy: Guin: I'm not done with you yet! Arsé-kun: Kay: I have a kid to feed! Sheepy: Guin: ...Then, go home. Sheepy: Satoru: He's okay. Arsé-kun: Kay: No objections! *goodbye, kay* Sheepy: Satoru: I'd talk to him again. Sheepy: Guin: Why didn't you try catching him the second the leash broke? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I didn't notice! Excuse me for holding a conversation?? Sheepy: Guin: And your conversation partner didn't notice at all? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Apparently not! Sheepy: Satoru: Fou led me to new friends. Sheepy: Satoru: You should meet them Sheepy: Satoru: There's Lamp and Not Not Lamp, but I think Not Lamp is a better name. Sheepy: Guin: You should've stayed with Merlin. Sheepy: Satoru:...? I followed Fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou? *he is an innocent ANGEL* Sheepy: Satoru: He's very smart. Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he pops his head out the door* Welcome home, Satoru! Come on in, it's beginning to get cold. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay, Uncle Mozzy. *He puts his hands out* Fou, do you want to come inside? Arsé-kun: Fou: Kyuu! *he wiggles out of Merlin's hand and onto Satoru's head* Sheepy: Satoru: Okay, let's go inside. *He heads inside.* Sheepy: Guin: .......... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... I don't look it, but I am downright livid. I forgot I could get this angry. Sheepy: Guin: No, I understand. I feel the same way. Sheepy: Guin: But I can't punish Fou, even if he does know better, and explaining it to Satoru, well... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And do I have the Queen's permission to survive the night? Sheepy: Guin: I'm not angry at you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I expected to get the blame again. *he just. kicks at the lawn. nice* Sheepy: Guin: No, you can't prevent that. Sheepy: Guin: I'm not going to blame you. That's what the child leash is there for. Sheepy: Guin: And if that fur ball chewed through it... Sheepy: Guin: Now we know to be more careful in the future. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Knowing him, it was purely because I was involved. *he huffs* .... So did you know Kay knows how to embroider? I didn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Also, today I learned Satoru can see ghosts for some reason? I'm going to pin blame on Rider for that one. Sheepy: Guin: In fact, he's never talked about ghosts at all. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe it's normal to him? It wouldn't seem strange that way. Sheepy: Guin: Maybe... Kay can embroider?? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Apparently?? Sheepy: Guin: Hmm...well, we should get inside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, yes, we don't want anyone to worry! Sheepy: Guin: Like Sir Bedivere, who... asked me every 30 minutes where you were, if you were okay, and when you would be back. Eventually it turned into "if you would be back". And then I had to restrain him from looking for you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I told him where I was going. He's been there before, it would have been fine. Sheepy: Guin: So I should let him go in the future? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just not alone! Arsé-kun: *in the background, Lance releases the Bedivere. Watch it run* Sheepy: *Bedi dashes over to Merlin and embraces him!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he makes a pained face. Heavy metal, right into his back* Yes, hello, Bedi..! Sheepy: Bedi: I remembered how you've been exhausted and weak recently and I realized that I'd left you all alone! I'm so, so sorry! I should've gone with you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's okay! It's okay, babe, it's fine..! Sheepy: Bedi: But what if something happened and you needed me? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *oh no, one of his weaknesses! puppy dog eyes! oh no!!* That would have been my own fault..! Sheepy: Bedi: But I still should be there for you...! I couldn't stop thinking about all of the terrible possibilities... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here's the worst advice hour! Just stop thinking about it! *he goes to pose and his back cracks* Ata! Sheepy: Bedi: Are you okay?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll live..! Sheepy: Bedi: Do you need to go inside? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, but I'd like to. Sheepy: Bedi: *He gently takes Merlin's hand and leads him in. Guin follows.* Sheepy: Bedi: Did you have fun? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. Did you know Kay can embroider? Sheepy: Bedi:...I want to embroider with Sir Kay. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...I mean...I'm sorry, that's selfish of me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. Sheepy: Bedi: Uh? Sheepy: Bedi: What do you mean? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's your friend, you wanna see him. Makes sense! Sheepy: Bedi: But you just got home and I'm sure there's things you want to talk about. Sheepy: Bedi: So I shouldn't ramble about myself. Arsé-kun: Merlin: All I want to do is punt a Beast into the stratosphere!! :D Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Did something happen? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fou was being a little rat. Nothing new. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. Sorry you went through that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can we buy him a muzzle? Sheepy: Bedi: ..Why? Arsé-kun: *Merlin holds up the leash again. He looks frustrated* Sheepy: Bedi: That looks familiar. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I spent over an hour looking for Satoru because he wandered off. Sheepy: Bedi: ......... Sheepy: Bedi: ?! Sheepy: Bedi: Fou chewed that off? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He sure didn't say he didn't! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm. Sheepy: Bedi: The next time you go out with Fou, I’ll come with you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Please. Sheepy: Bedi: And.....as punishment, I won't pet him. Sheepy: Bedi: As mucha s I want to. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's hard, isn't it? Sheepy: Bedi: I'd pet Lobo instead but he's really mean. Arsé-kun: *Merlin grabs a handful of his own hair and brushes Bedi's face with it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Close enough, isn't it?? Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? Oh, yeah. Arsé-kun: Merlin: :< Sheepy: Bedi: It is!! Arsé-kun: *andersen makes a gagging noise in the background* Sheepy: Satoru: Throwing up is bad for your health. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Thank you, Captain Obvious. Sheepy: Satoru: That's not my name. My name is Satoru. Sheepy: Satoru: We've met before, but it's nice to meet you again. Arsé-kun: Andersen: I was addressing that you said something obvious in a sarcastic manner. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm not very good with sarcasm. Arsé-kun: Andersen: It's the tone and facial expression. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Andersen: So, *and with as much sarcasm as he can muster* thank you Captain Obvious, I never would have known that!!!! Sheepy: Satoru: You're welcome. Arsé-kun: Andersen: :I Sheepy: Satoru: Did I respond improperly? Arsé-kun: Andersen: That was sarcasm. If I had said "Thank you for teaching me that," it would not have been sarcastic. Sheepy: Satoru: Then how do I respond to sarcasm? Arsé-kun: Andersen: More sarcasm, ignoring it, telling them to stop speaking, whatever you want. Sheepy: Satoru: But why? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Because it's usually rude. Sheepy: Satoru: Rudeness doesn't bother me. Sheepy: Satoru: I never notice it. Arsé-kun: Andersen: I've noticed. Sheepy: Satoru: But isn't it better that way? Sheepy: Satoru: If it doesn't hurt me, it doesn't really matter. Arsé-kun: Andersen: And if it hurts someone else? Sheepy: Satoru: It matters then. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Fair enough, I suppose. Sheepy: Satoru: What? Arsé-kun: Andersen: You think others have more value than yourself? Is that it? Sheepy: Satoru: It's just that it doesn't bother me. And it won't. So if people say hurtful things to me, it doesn't matter. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Are you aware of the power you wield? Any one of your servants can deal with it for you. Sheepy: Satoru:...... Sheepy: Satoru: It doesn't matter. Sheepy: Satoru: It doesn't bother me. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Bullshit. Sheepy: Satoru: It doesn't... Arsé-kun: Andersen: Buuuuuullshit! Sheepy: Satoru: *His eyes widen fearfully when Andersen raises his voice... just briefly, before they return to their usual blank stare* It doesn't matter. It doesn't. I don't care what people say. It's fine. Sheepy: Satoru: They can't help. Arsé-kun: Andersen: By that alone, you're lying. Not everyone hates you. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm not lying... I'm not... Arsé-kun: Andersen: The ugly duckling thought it was fine, too, and that everyone was right. And you know what? They weren't. Sheepy: Satoru:..... Sheepy: Satoru: I-I don't care...it doesn't matter. Sheepy: Satoru: I can't do anything about it. Arsé-kun: Andersen: You have control of some of the most powerful servants, and you can't do anything? Sheepy: Satoru: I can't... Sheepy: Satoru: They can't help, they can't. Nobody can. So it doesn't matter. That's just how life is. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Avengers of all people listen to you, and they hate humans. You're better than that. Sheepy: Satoru: It's better this way. Arsé-kun: Andersen: The little match girl was less depressing than this, and she lived on the street. Sheepy: Satoru: I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Andersen: For what, breathing? Sheepy: Satoru:...Uh... Sheepy: Satoru: ....I shouldn't disagree with you, you know better... Arsé-kun: Andersen: No, by all means, go ahead. Sheepy: Satoru: No, no. Arsé-kun: Andersen: ... You know what? *he sticks a bookmark into his book and flips it a couple hundred pages forward. Blank page* I have a better idea. Sheepy: Satoru: What...? Sheepy: *Satoru is watching Hans very closely.* Arsé-kun: Andersen: I think I have an idea for a tale. Take a seat somewhere. You're closest, you're today's editor. Sheepy: Satoru: *He slowly sits down on the floor* Sheepy: Satoru:...okay. Sheepy: Satoru: *He doesn't take his eyes off of Andersen, however. He's clutching his knees close to his chest.* Arsé-kun: *Andersen doesn't address the previous discussion once. He's writing a whole bunch* Sheepy: *And Satoru doesn't take his eyes off of Andersen.* Arsé-kun: Andersen: *he glances up* Yes? Sheepy: Satoru: Nothing. Arsé-kun: Andersen: If you say so. Do you think raccoons are bigger than bats? Sheepy: Satoru: Depends on the bat. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Hm? Sheepy: Satoru: Dad is the biggest bat. Arsé-kun: Andersen: But how big is big? Sheepy: Satoru: *He outstretches his arms* So big. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Bigger than a raccoon, then, thank you. Sheepy: Satoru: Yes. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Good to know. Sheepy: Satoru: Why? Arsé-kun: Andersen: I'm trying to think of a good antagonist, but a raccoon could be too small. Sheepy: Satoru: They're fluffy. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Well, yes. Rats are also too small.. Sheepy: Satoru: Rats are fluffy. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Y, yes, thank you. Sheepy: Satoru: You're welcome. Sheepy: Satoru: Fou is fluffy too. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou! Sheepy: Satoru: *He pets Fou* Arsé-kun: Fou: :D Sheepy: Satoru: Fou, did you have fun today? It's my first time I met somebody named Lamp. Sheepy: Satoru: He seemed nice. Sheepy: Satoru: Mr. Kay was nice, too. Sheepy: Satoru: So was Not Not Lamp and Mr. Ghost. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou, fou! Fou! Arsé-kun: *ok this is boring NEXT DAY* Arsé-kun: *'Merlin, Bedivere, Lancelot, Guinevere, Tristan, Lucan, Ozymandias, Prototype Cu, Caster Cu, Alter Cu, Ko-Gil, Enkidu, Angra, Mozart, Yan Qing, Eiji, Satoru, and Minako' is the final list of who is going camping. Everyone is outside already* Arsé-kun: Proto: Are we all here yet? Are we? When are we going? Sheepy: Tristan: *Snore* Sheepy: Satoru: I want to find bugs. Arsé-kun: Angra: Me too! Lets find the biggest bug we can, Master! Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: It'll be so big. Arsé-kun: Angra: The biggest Sheepy: Bedi: Is everyone ready? Sheepy: Lucan: I want to go back to work. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: It does seem like we are ready. Sheepy: Bedi: Then, let's head out! Arsé-kun: *varying cheers* Sheepy: *The group heads to the woods to camp!* Sheepy: Satoru: You're so tall. Arsé-kun: Acu: .. So what? Sheepy: Satoru: What? Sheepy: Satoru: The taller you are, the less dogs you can pet without having to lean down. Sheepy: Cascu: You hear that? How many dogs can you pet, Alter? Arsé-kun: Acu: Did you say something? This weapon cannot hear you from your lowered height. Sheepy: Cascu: Oh, shaddup! Sheepy: Cascu: You're not deaf! Or a weapon for that matter. Sheepy: Cascu: Weapons don't carry around children and the disabled. Sheepy: Cascu: Anyway, what's that squishy looking version of you that the kid has? Sheepy: Cascu: I've seen it before, but what is it? Arsé-kun: Acu: Hell if I know. Sheepy: Satoru: He's my friend. *He hugs Mini Cu-chan* Sheepy: Cascu: Ain't that descriptive! So nobody knows. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'm right here, you pervy hound-dog! What's this hippie doing here? Sheepy: Cascu: I'm no hippie! Sheepy: Satoru: You're soft like Fou. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Damn right. Sheepy: Satoru: Do you like bugs? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: They're itchy and they rip my seams apart. Sheepy: Satoru: Really? I'll tell them not to. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: You do that. Sheepy: Satoru: What do you like? Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Destroying my enemies. Sheepy: Satoru: That's an okay hobby. Arsé-kun: *in the bg, enkidu's stopped. this is a nice spot. he likes this spot* Sheepy: Kogil: Enkidu? Are we staying here? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I think here would be the most optimal spot, yes. Sheepy: Kogil: Then let's set up camp here. Sheepy: *Lucan quickly rushes over and gets to work.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oooor he can just do it, that's fine too! Sheepy: Bedi: Do you want help- Sheepy: Lucan: No, I'm fine. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if you say so. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How long do we give him before we join him? Ten minutes? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: ............ Sheepy: Bedi: Five. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Four. Sheepy: Bedi: Three. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Right now. Sheepy: Bedi: *He picks up some of what needs to be set up and joins Lucan.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin watches him and sighs before joining in* Sheepy: Lucan: I don't need help. Arsé-kun: Merlin: If we want it done before nightfall you do! Sheepy: Lucan: Ah, fine. Arsé-kun: *hooray, tent setting!* Sheepy: *yayyy* Arsé-kun: *yaaay* Sheepy: Bedi: We're done. Sheepy: Lucan: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Satoru: Which tent do you want? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Huh? You're a Master, you pick first. Sheepy: Satoru: I don't care. Sheepy: Satoru: Any one is fine. Sheepy: Bedi: ...Are you sure?? Sheepy: Satoru: Any one is fine. Sheepy: Cascu: We probably should figure out roommates, yeah? Arsé-kun: Proto: Tentmates! *o boy o boy o b* Sheepy: Yan: There's only one lady here who fits my criteria and she's taken. Siiiiiigh.... Sheepy: Yan: I want to share a tent with someone hot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sorry, I'm already with Bedi! Sheepy: Cascu: Oi, I'm sharing with Proto and Alter. There's no room for you to share oje with me. Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, you're not hot. Nor are you, Caster. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm beautiful. Sheepy: Yan: Yea, but I don't want to room with you! Sheepy: Yan: Bedi, hmmmmm. Sheepy: Yan: Anyway. Sheepy: Lucan: If you ask to room with me based on my appearance I will personally escort you head-first into the nearest lake. Sheepy: Yan:....Um. Not you! Sheepy: Yan: You aren't attractive to me anyway! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't care who I'm with. Arsé-kun: Angra: Ehehe! He's got less guts than you! *he elbow-bumps Lucan* Sheepy: Lucan: Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Mozart: *god help me.* Sheepy: Eiji:....Uh...I, I...n-nevermind. Arsé-kun: Minako: :I Sheepy: Eiji: Y-you look angry...I..uh...I didn't... I d-didn't mean to upssset you...! Arsé-kun: Minako: Not at you! Sorry, didn't mean to worry you either! I'm just expecting... *she looks towards Yan. She's expecting it.* Sheepy: Yan: Ew. No. Sheepy: Yan: Sorry, you're not my type. Arsé-kun: Minako: Great! So what you're saying is you're going to perish alone? Sheepy: Yan: Eh? Sheepy: Yan: No! Sheepy: Yan:..... Arsé-kun: Minako: Who's gonna say yes? Sheepy: Yan: Merlin, choose for me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No way! Sheepy: Yan: You're a wizard! Sheepy: Yan: You do your thing! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You want me to fuck? Sheepy: Yan: Help! Me! Choose! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: No need for that. I would not mind your presence. Sheepy: Yan: Really?! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Really. Just do not try anything with the young king. Sheepy: Yan: Great, by your request, I'll completely ignore him! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh....how sad... Sheepy: Tristan: How sad...! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: :) How absolutely terrible. Sheepy: Kogil: Hmm? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Oh, I'm sorry, my lord. I didn't ask you- Are you all right with dealing with Assassin? Sheepy: Kogil: Oh, it's fine. Sheepy: Kogil: I kinda thought Ozy would be with us, but it'd be too cramped! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I can reduce my size. It should be fine. Sheepy: Kogil: Based on my understanding, we have the groups: Sheepy: Kogil: The three Cu Chulainns, Merlin&Bedivere, presumably Lancelot&Guinevere, us, and then everyone else needs a place. Sheepy: Lucan: Don't join Tristan. Sheepy: Tristan: Hm... Sheepy: Bedi: Sorry, I would invite you, but, ah... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But our Master needs somewhere to stay, too! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I'll take Satoru. It's simple that way. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: Yeah, sure. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: *Satoru seems pleased!* Arsé-kun: Minako: And with that, the only one left is... Well, I guess I'm with Lucan. Sheepy: Tristan: I suppose I'll be alone. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... Arsé-kun: Lance: *he plops a hand on Tristan's shoulder* No. Sheepy: Guin: You can stay with us. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...ah...*Sob* Sheepy: Tristan: Thank you... Sheepy: Tristan: How happy I am...! Arsé-kun: *Tristan being happy makes Lancelot happy* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ...? *he looks further into the forest. Something's gotten his attention* Sheepy: Kogil: What is it? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Servant in close range, inbound. Sheepy: Bedi: *He readies Airgetlam* Sheepy: *Yan hums before taking out a candy bar and pulling back his arm* Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he tilts his head and listens, before turning and giving Yan a questioning look* Sheepy: *Whoever it is is running towards the group!* Arsé-kun: Mozart: ... Oh, for the love of the Queen. Why is he here? Sheepy: *...They burst into view! It's Salieri! Who begins to shout Mozart's name before being smacked in the face with a candy bar.* Sheepy: Salieri: Ugh! Sheepy: Yan: Eat this. You aren't you when you're sugar deprived. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: You aren't you wh- You bastard! Sheepy: Yan: Hahahah. Arsé-kun: Mini Cu: I'll take your arm off! Sheepy: Salieri: *He turns his attention to the candy bar.* Sheepy: Yan: Why!? Sheepy: *Salieri doesn't seem to care about Mozart's presence.* Sheepy: Yan: There's other sweets he likes more. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Do tell. Sheepy: Yan: Gelatin. Like, the thing that's like ice cream but isn't. Sheepy: Yan: But I don't carry that on me! Arsé-kun: Mozart: Who would..? Sheepy: Yan: OK, I've divulged too much info~ Sheepy: Salieri: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare anyone if I did. Arsé-kun: Mozart: We had prior warning. Sheepy: Salieri: My friend, how are you? Arsé-kun: Mozart: I've been well. Arsé-kun: *Mozart seems surprised, almost stunned.* Sheepy: Salieri:....? Sheepy: Salieri: I’m not going to attack you. Arsé-kun: Mozart: .... It's really you this time? Sheepy: Salieri: Yes, it is. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Well, shit! *He drops his guard and strolls over to Salieri, throwing an arm around the avenger's shoulder. He is pleased* Sheepy: Salieri: *He returns the gesture, giving Mozart a small smile.* Arsé-kun: *Mozart gains +100000 to happy stat. Merlin's flowers are blooming next to him.* Sheepy: Satoru: Is he joining us? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It seems that way. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay, great. Sheepy: Salieri: ...Joining you for what? Arsé-kun: Mozart: We're out camping! Sheepy: Salieri: I wouldn't want to invite myself. Arsé-kun: Mozart: You're invited. Sheepy: Salieri: Really? You don't mind? Arsé-kun: Mozart: Why would I? Arsé-kun: Mozart: We all have those days! :) *he's acting like it's no big deal, but of course, it is a big deal. He's very unhappy about that being brought up.* Sheepy: Salieri: ...Do we. Sheepy: Satoru: I don't have those days. Arsé-kun: Mozart: I'm glad you don't. Sheepy: Satoru: But you don't either. Arsé-kun: Mozart: But I can understand it. Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Okay. Sheepy: Cascu: Hmmm, what to do first~ Arsé-kun: Acu: Die. Arsé-kun: Proto: Hunting? Should we go hunting? Sheepy: Cascu: I'm not going to just go camping to die! Let's go hunting. Arsé-kun: Acu: Hunting what? *he drags himself to his feet, hand on spear* Sheepy: Cascu: Uh. Sheepy: Cascu: Animals? Sheepy: Bedi: !!! Sheepy: Bedi: I like to hunt as well. Sheepy: Bedi: I can help. Arsé-kun: Acu: Sure, I guess. Sheepy: Bedi: I can help you find edible creatures! Sheepy: Lucan: Why do you say creatures and not animals? Sheepy: Bedi: ....Merlin? Are the eyeball creatures animals? Sheepy: Lucan: I highly doubt those live in the woods. Sheepy: Bedi: What separates insects from animals? Arsé-kun: Merlin: They're not animals! They're not insects either!! Sheepy: Bedi: What are they then? Arsé-kun: Acu: Killable. Sheepy: Bedi: Nutritious. Sheepy: Lucan: Filthy, abomination, disgusting. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's looking a his phone..* Gazers are classified as demonic beings. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, I see Sheepy: Lucan: How do you have service out here? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The town's not that far? Sheepy: Bedi: He's very skilled! *His eyes have lit up.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: If the town wasn't close by, then I'd be boosting the signal myself! I AM the wifi router! Sheepy: Bedi: Wow! *He is actually excited about this.* Sheepy: Lucan: Uhuh. Arsé-kun: Acu: what's the wifi password. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What password? Arsé-kun: Acu: *he slowly types on his phone* that worked, thanks. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ¿¿¿¿¿Eh????? Sheepy: Lucan: What's the case of each letter? Sheepy: Bedi:? Arsé-kun: Acu: All lowercase. Sheepy: Lucan: Oh, thanks. Sheepy: Lucan: Great. I can work on the taxes from here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks downright confused* Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, what are they talking about? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is that what I set the password to..? Sheepy: Bedi: Password? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I forgot I set a password on the wifi booster... ... I don't remember how I did that Arsé-kun: Merlin: But who cares! Hunting time! Sheepy: Bedi: Well, okay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good luck! Have fun! Bring back something edible by a human child! Sheepy: Bedi: Hm? Sheepy: Bedi: Satoru needs better nutrition in his diet. Sheepy: Guin: No. Sheepy: Lucan: Bedi, how did your kids survive? Sheepy: Bedi: I didn't have any. You did - two. Sheepy: Lucan: I don't have kids, you have kids! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I think we'd know if Bedi had kids. But yours did? That's sweet. Tell me more about it later. Sheepy: Lucan: Eh? Yeah, a son and a daughter. Arsé-kun: Acu: What a hunting party this is. *he starts pulling off excess armor. He's not gonna need all of it. The tail stays.* Sheepy: Lucan: Hey, he asked. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I said later! Sheepy: Lucan: Well, fine, later. ... Since when am I going hunting? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Since right now! Sheepy: Lucan: Ugh.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's work, isn't it? Sheepy: Lucan: Is it really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You gotta work for food, don't you? Sheepy: Lucan: Hm... Sheepy: Lucan: Yes. Sheepy: Tristan: If Sir Bedivere strikes the prey with Airgetlam, it'll be instantly cooked. Sheepy: Bedi: That's not its purpose. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We already tried that anyway. It just hurts a lot and then they die. Sheepy: Tristan: But they don't cook instantly? Arsé-kun: Merlin: They don't. Sheepy: Tristan: We could've used it for lobster or crab... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay! Enough chatter! Off you go, brave hunters! Sheepy: Bedi: You aren't coming? Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're not all needed, are we? Sheepy: Bedi: No. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Great! *he turns on his heel and heads into a tent. oh* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah.....well, let's go then. *He heads off.* Arsé-kun: Acu: Finally. *he follows Bedi, already looking around* Sheepy: Cascu: *He follows Acu. Lucan, disgruntled, follows Cascu.* Arsé-kun: Proto: *he drags miserably into view, with a bunch of arrows stuck in him* Good luck, you guys. All I managed was to scare the forest hobo. Sheepy: Lucan: Oh dear.. Arsé-kun: Proto: Protection from arrows does not work passively. I gotta remember that this time. Sheepy: Cascu: You didn't know that? Arsé-kun: Proto: I'm usually able to dodge 'em when I hear 'em! *he sorta shrugs* Arsé-kun: *in the background, Acu just drops his tail into the river. It's not like he's doing anything ELSE* Sheepy: Lucan: Bedi's out chasing who knows what. Sheepy: Lucan: So meanwhile..... Sheepy: Cascu: This spot's relaxing. It'd be good for fishing. Sheepy: Lucan: How boring. Sheepy: Lucan: I was promised an adventure. Arsé-kun: Acu: You want it right now? Sheepy: Lucan: Really? I can!? Arsé-kun: Acu: Sure. Sheepy: Lucan: Of course I do! Arsé-kun: Acu: Do you want to see the middle of the forest up close? Sheepy: Lucan: Of course. Arsé-kun: Acu: And you haven't taken any injuries as of late? Sheepy: Lucan: That's an oddly specific question... Arsé-kun: Acu: I'm just checking. Sheepy: Lucan: I won't be a liability. Arsé-kun: Acu: Great. Go see it for yourself. *and he just. Picks up Lucan before throwing him into the horizon. Buh-bye.* Sheepy: *Lucan lets out a scream.* Arsé-kun: *Byeeee, Lucaaaan!* Sheepy: Cascu: Huh. Arsé-kun: Acu: He's the forest's problem now. *and he plops down, looking back at the river. Are the fish biting?* Sheepy: Cascu: Oh, uh. Sheepy: Cascu: What if he dies? Arsé-kun: Acu: From what? He's a servant. Landing in branches won't kill you unless it decapitates you. Sheepy: Cascu: Oh, true. Arsé-kun: *Acu pulls up his tail. Oh, fish!* Sheepy: Cascu: Good job! Sheepy: *Cascu joins Acu in fishing.* Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, Mozart just looks done. He's done already, homies, he's so done* Arsé-kun: Mozart: It's been an hour and someone is already screaming. What a fantastic load of shit. Someone kick my ass and call me Doug Dimmadome. Sheepy: Satoru: *He slowly looksbup from poking the ground with a stick* ..Uh? Sheepy: Eiji: ...D-Doug... Dim...Dim... Dimm- Uh...Uh ... Doug? Wh-why call you th-that? Sheepy: Eiji:...Sorry...Wh-who ssscreamed?! *Seems likr he just registered that part.* Arsé-kun: Mozart: Because his character is a load of crap, and it was either Bedivere or Lucan. Sheepy: Eiji:!!! Sheepy: Eiji: *He slowly picks himself up off the ground, an expression of pain spreading across his face, before beginning to hobble over to Merlin's tent.* Sheepy: Eiji: M-Merlin... Sheepy: Satoru: It was probably just a bug. Sheepy: Satoru: Or a snake. Sheepy: Satoru: I doubt we should be concerned, Uncle Mozzy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he rolls over and drowsily looks at Eiji* Ye..? Sheepy: Eiji: Uh...He...uh, he said th-that he heard, um, a scream....and...you know, it's eith-either Bedi...Bediv- Bedi or Lucan. Sheepy: Eiji:...and n-neither are here... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... s'not Bedi.. *he yawns* Sheepy: Eiji:...H-how do you know? Arsé-kun: Merlin: 'd feel it.. Sheepy: Eiji:....? Arsé-kun: Mozart: *he sticks his head in* Well, that scream got real distant, real rapidly! Sheepy: Eiji: Sh-should we, um... Sheepy: Eiji: Do s-something? Arsé-kun: Mozart: Maybe? Sheepy: Eiji: M-maybe he was...was fleeing from a mon...monster. Sheepy: Eiji: Or... Arsé-kun: Mozart: Or chasing something? But it didn't sound like a war cry... Sheepy: Eiji:...W-we need to- to, uh, you know, find him. Sheepy: Satoru: *He pokes his head in, followed by one of Salieri's reapers, who's curiously imitating his movements as best as it can* He's probably dead. Sheepy: Satoru: Too bad. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Dead or actually dead? Sheepy: Satoru: Is there a difference? Sheepy: Satoru: When people die, they sleep for a while and then wake up. Sheepy: Satoru: So Choochoo is still out there somewhere. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's only servants, and even then not always... Sheepy: Satoru: I don't know any servants. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....... With a capital S, Satoru. Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, Lance has already started pacing the perimeter. Is it worry? Fear? Anger?* Sheepy: Tristan: What’s wrong? Arsé-kun: Lance: *he utters a low growl* Some.. thing happened.... Sheepy: Tristan: If we need to go, I don't mind. Arsé-kun: *Lance grumbles and looks towards the woods before considering his helmet. Hm* Sheepy: Tristan: I can help. Sheepy: Tristan: My harp can track anyone. Arsé-kun: Lance: *he nods. tristan, you are allowed* Sheepy: *Tristan takes out his harp. He focuses before beginning to walk deeper into the forest.* Arsé-kun: Proto: Hi! *he's still got those arrows stuck in him* Where are you guys going? The hunting parties are coming back! Sheepy: Tristan: Towards the scream we heard. Sheepy: Tristan: Or perhaps. Sheepy: Tritan: "He heard". Sheepy: Tristan: I am not part of "we". Arsé-kun: Proto: Oh, I was there! Big Bro Alter got annoyed and sent Lucan on an adventure! Sheepy: Tristan: .......... Sheepy: Tristan: Not very far, right? Arsé-kun: Proto: No! Sheepy: Tristan: Then let's go get him. Arsé-kun: Proto: Just don't scare the forest hobo! Arsé-kun: Lance: Don't get distrrrrracted.. Sheepy: Tristan: Ah...yes...we must find Sir Lucan. Sheepy: Bedi: Why are you looking for Lucan? Arsé-kun: Lance: Arh! *he jumps and nearly smacks Bedi with a nearby tree branch. You gave him a frighten* Sheepy: Bedi:! Sheepy: Bedi: It's just me! Arsé-kun: Proto: You and whatever this is! *he pushes whatever Bedi hunted down. Whatever that is* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, this? Sheepy: Bedi: It's food. Sheepy: *...By all appearances, whatever it is is not something one would consider edible, let alone tasty.* Arsé-kun: Lance: .... *he puts his helmet on and gurgles. Thank your for your opinion* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh! You seem excited about it! Sheepy: Tristan: Hm? Sheepy: Bedi: You see, the most nutritious part of it is the head. Sheepy: Tristan: I want bear. Arsé-kun: Lance: IIII wanna goooo. Sheepy: Bedi: Don't complain about food. You don't know when you won't have any. Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot, let's forget about Sir Lucan and get bear. Arsé-kun: *Lance hisses at Tristan. He seems to disagree.* Sheepy: Tristan:...Sir Lucan and then a bear? Arsé-kun: Lance: ▂▂! Sheepy: Tristan: Fine. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Arsé-kun: *Lance puts a hand on Failnaught. Lets gooooooo!* Sheepy: *Tristan continues on his way, now towards Lucan.* Arsé-kun: *Lance follows him, looking around for potential threats* Sheepy: Tristan: Hm...His location is moving, so he's alive. Arsé-kun: Acu: What are you two jokes doing? Dowsing for the fastest way to die? I would assist, but I'm busy. *because he's carrying a big ol' basket of fish. fishing!* Sheepy: Tristan: Trying to find our friend, who you could've gotten killed. Sheepy: Cascu: Oof. That's rough, pal. Arsé-kun: Acu: He said yes to it. It's his problem now. Sheepy: Cascu: It's more loke he said yes to going on an adventure, not being thrown into a new dimension. Arsé-kun: Acu: That is an adventure. Sheepy: Cascu: Well, you're not wrong. Sheepy: Tristan: .... Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... Sheepy: Tristan: He died as he lived... Sheepy: Tristan: Being thrown into situations he couldn't control. Arsé-kun: Acu: Try not to feel too bad. Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! Sheepy: Cascu: This guy cries more than a baby does. Sheepy: Cascu: That's more fitting for Master's little chick... Arsé-kun: Acu: Hands off. *he pulls the basket away from Lancelot, who was Very Slowly reaching for it. But he's too late, and Lancelot has armed himself with a big ol' fish.* Arsé-kun: *This is, in fact, a suitable weapon for a one-time use. Reinforcing it with Knight of Owner will make it last longer, and do more damage. It does not prevent the fish-slap sound as Acu gets bombarded with a Noble Phantasm-level fish.* Sheepy: Tristan:....? Sheepy: Tristan: How sad...! Not only did he kill Sir Lucan, he also killed an innocent fish! Sheepy: Cascu: What the-?!! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: *they came to check out what was happening. Step one: Do not laugh. Fail miserably.* Sheepy: Cascu: OI! You can't just hit my friend like that! Sheepy: Cascu: Do you realize how much time it took us to fish those up?! Sheepy: Cascu: And then you just go ahead and hit him! Just like that! Against a rock! Arsé-kun: Lance: ▃▅▅▅▂▃▅!!! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Oh, allow me to translate Berserker. He says he's angry that his own friend was harmed. Sheepy: Cascu: Yeah, and he just eviscerated mine by hitting it against Alter! Sheepy: Cascu:.....*Snrrrk* Sheepy: Cascu: I really don't care. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: How cruel you are! *they giggle. Enkidu is enjoying this* Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot. Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot, we must go soon. Arsé-kun: *Lance stops mid-swing and stares at Tristan, remembering that yes, there is something more important than getting a Fish Kill.* Sheepy: Tristan: We have to go. Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... *he smacks Acu one, last time before putting the fish back in the basket* ... Rrrrrrright.. Sheepy: Tristan: The sooner we find him, the more time you can spend with Lady Guinevere. Arsé-kun: *Meanwhile, there is a high probability that Acu has just died standing up, which means I can say! FISH KILL!*

Arsé-kun: Lance: ! Arsé-kun: *Lance grabs Tristan by the arm and runs off. Adios!* Sheepy: *The two head towards Lucan's location !* Arsé-kun: *Acu recovers due to Guts, meanwhile. haha. guts. hahaha* Sheepy: *hahaha* Arsé-kun: Acu: ....... What just happened. Sheepy: Cascu: You got decimated by a fish. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... *he looks away* Still better than being beaten because we saw boobs. Sheepy: Cascu: Mm, true. Arsé-kun: Acu: Not a word about this, or I'll put your head on the wall. Sheepy: Cascu: Sure, I won't. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'll simply omit names. :D Sheepy: Cascu: Yikes, do you have a death wish? Sheepy: Cascu: Anyway...let's go back. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'm sure the fish will be widely appreciated! Sheepy: Cascu: Yes, as opposed to that...thing. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Ah, that.. Sheepy: Cascu: What IS that? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I believe I have heard it be referred to as a "Soul Eater" Sheepy: Cascu: Disgusting. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: If a human eats it and it ate human souls, does it count as cannibalism? Sheepy: Cascu:....... Sheepy: Cascu: He might try to make Master or Master's little chick eat it if we don't go back soon.. Arsé-kun: Acu: .... Then shut your mouth and get moving. Sheepy: Cascu: *He huffs and rushes for the camp* Sheepy: Bedi: --It's full of nutrients! Sheepy: Guin: Nobody is eating that! It looks horrible! Sheepy: Bedi: *He holds up some strange vegetables* I was going to make a soup out of it. Arsé-kun: Minako: Even I'm not eating that!! Sheepy: Bedi: You shouldn't be so picky. Sheepy: Bedi: Repeat after me! Sheepy: Bedi: King Arthur Rule #3: You can never afford to be picky! What matters is its nutritious value! Sheepy: Guin: No!! Sheepy: Satoru: You can never afford to be nutritious. What matters is its picky value. Sheepy: Bedi: Um...Y-yes, that too Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Bedi, babe, while we could eat it, I don't think it's great for humans! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm? Sheepy: Bedi: ...Why not? Sheepy: Eiji: *He's fearfully staring at the soul eater corpse.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Demon flesh isn't great for you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And anyway, where did you find that??? Sheepy: Bedi:...Then what do we do with this? Sheepy: Bedi:...Huh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Those aren't native!! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, uh... *He points deeper into the forest* Sheepy: Bedi: I found those vegetables there, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Those are fine. Sheepy: Bedi: But what do I do with this? Sheepy: Bedi: It was all alone. Sheepy: Bedi: Are they solitary creatures? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uhhh. I mean, I guess we could use the fur, but that's the only usable thing. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sometimes? Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, fur is warm! Sheepy: Bedi: If Lobo was here, he could eat it. Arsé-kun: Mozart: Could we donate it for the sciences..? Sheepy: Cascu: WE'VE GOT FISH! Sheepy: Bedi: But... Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'm gonna ask again! If something that eats human souls is eaten by a human, is it cannibalism? Sheepy: *The sound of horse hooves approaches!* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ..! Two servants in range, inbound! Sheepy: Satoru: The answer is horse Sheepy: *Buddy gallops into view! Griflet is upon his back.* Sheepy: *Cascu readies his staff.* Arsé-kun: *and so is Kay, who is holding onto Grif like his life depended on it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, it's just you guys! What nonsense are you up to this time? Sheepy: Griflet: You stole from me. Sheepy: Griflet: It's mine. Return it. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Do we really need that thing??? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm trying not to! The less I know, the better off I'll be at the end of it! Sheepy: Griflet: The only thing the beast will accept to allow me to finish my quest is the corpse of that Soul Eater. Arsé-kun: Acu: Take it. Get it out of our sight. Sheepy: Griflet: That way, it will fight me to the death and return the maiden of this forest. Weren't you listening? Sheepy: Griflet:...I can have it? Is this a trap? Arsé-kun: Acu: Take it before it gets cooked. No one wants that. Sheepy: Griflet: ....*He slowly unsheathes his sword and slips off of Buddy, hesitantly approaching the Soul Eater and glaring daggers at the group.* Sheepy: *Griflet grabs it and starts dragging it back to Buddy, not taking his eyes off the group.* Arsé-kun: Kay: You expect the poor horse to carry that ugly bastard?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, the horse is carrying you, isn't it! Sheepy: Griflet: Hm... Sheepy: Griflet: Kay. Sheepy: Griflet: You carry it. Then Buddy doesn't have to. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not carrying that. Sheepy: Griflet: Do you want her to die? Arsé-kun: Kay: I am not touching that!! You carry it, sir brave knight! Sheepy: Griflet: Then you control Buddy. Arsé-kun: Kay: That I can at least try to do. Sheepy: Griflet: And I'll carry the Soul Eater. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great!! Lets get this over with so we can go home! Sheepy: Griflet: Yes. *He heads towards the deeper part of the forest again* Sheepy: Bedi: Are you sure you don't want to join us instead? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Uh, I think I'd die if I did. Maybe after we're done, if you're still here! Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, sure! Arsé-kun: Kay: Something to look forward to! Sheepy: *Buddy is eating grass. Buddy does not care about anything.* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Sheepy: Bedi:...But still...I wonder how it tasted... Sheepy: Bedi: *He appears a bit disappointed...* Arsé-kun: *Kay makes a face of disgust* Sheepy: Guin: He tried to make Eiji and Satoru eat it. Arsé-kun: *Kay looks more disgusted* Sheepy: Satoru: It's nutritious not to be picky. You can never afford to value. Sheepy: Bedi: No... Sheepy: Satoru: It's picky to value nutrition. You can never afford to be. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That one was almost acceptable. Sheepy: Bedi: N-no.... Sheepy: Satoru: You can afford to never value nutrition. It's picky. Arsé-kun: Angra: It's afford to picky nutrition. You can never value to be. Sheepy: Bedi: No!! Sheepy: Satoru: It's picky to never afford value. You can be nutrition. Arsé-kun: Angra: Nutrition it's be picky can to you. Never value afford. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin, I'm being bullied by a child. Arsé-kun: Angra: And a Master. Sheepy: Bedi: Eh...? You're a Master? Arsé-kun: Angra: No!! He is! Sheepy: Satoru: No, I'm a child. Sheepy: Satoru: And one day I'll evolve into a grownup. Sheepy: Satoru: Charles Darwin is to be thanked for that. Sheepy: Satoru: I've given up on my dreams and that's okay Sheepy: Satoru: Not everyone needs to accomplish their dreams. Arsé-kun: Acu: Sounds right to me. Someone take this fish. Sheepy: Satoru: Ambitions are a human concept. Sheepy: *Bedi takes the fish, disappointed still.* Sheepy: Satoru: But what if my dream is not a human one? Sheepy: Satoru: But I am human, therefore disallowing me from truly accomplishing it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, that depends on what it is! Sheepy: Satoru: I guess so. Sheepy: Satoru: I want to keep everyone safe. If I was strong, nobody would die. If I was strong, I could prevent the eventual dinosaur takeover that'll end in the deaths of millions. Sheepy: Satoru: But I'm not. I'm just a child. Arsé-kun: Minako: For now. Sheepy: Satoru: But for how long? Arsé-kun: Minako: Six years? Sheepy: Satoru: Age isn't a determinant of one's status as a child. Arsé-kun: Angra: If that's the case, I'm baby. Sheepy: Satoru: You're a big baby. Arsé-kun: Angra: Yup! Sheepy: Eiji: ...Uhm... Sheepy: Eiji:...... Sheepy: Satoru: And I'm a child because I'm weak and can't control anything around me. Adults are strong so they can do whatever they want. Arsé-kun: Angra: Adults can be pussies. Adults are usually the ones doing stupid shit! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't understand. Arsé-kun: Angra: Kids don't know shit fuck! Adults know stuff and do idiot crap anyway! Sheepy: Bedi: Strength isn't related to status. Anyone can be strong so long as they believe in themselves. Sheepy: Satoru: Hmmm.. Arsé-kun: Angra: Wow! Gee! Thanks for the helpful tip! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, you're welcome. Arsé-kun: Angra: If I believe in myself, will I be able to nullify snake bites? Sheepy: Bedi: Why? Arsé-kun: Angra: I got bitten up so Master didn't have to! Sheepy: Bedi: ........ Arsé-kun: Angra: On the bright side, it's too weak to affect me! Arsé-kun: Angra: It's just itchy. Sheepy: Bedi: That's good. Arsé-kun: *And now, Mozart just sitting with Salieri, ignoring everyone else in favor of nice nature sounds, as well as whatever Ozy is watching in his tent. Featuring "Where the fuck did Yan Qing go NOW"* Sheepy: *That IS a good question!* Arsé-kun: *Local Assassin needs to Stop Doing This* Sheepy: *But he's bored!* Arsé-kun: *the answer is not that far, with Enkidu, who is excitedly relaying something over* Sheepy: *Yan Qing is laughing.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: And.. And they just stood there! And died like that! *and they start laughing* Sheepy: Yan Qing: Amazing! Arsé-kun: *and then Enkidu gets distracted by the stream Ozy is watching and pokes his head in. What stupid shit is Gil up to? The answer is “A Lot”. The kitchen is in ruins.*