xkurzel

[xkurzel]

I miss you and your writing. But I understand that it’s difficult rn. Wishing you the best

hey anon! thanks for stopping by. i miss you all too and fandom and writing and everything. the good news is that i think i’m getting close to ready to come back. i recently opened up the emotional compartment i had shoved my fandom feels in and it didn’t hurt and only the ~good feelings were there. i reread all my fav fics and it was like coming home! i’ve also been writing again, after months of not being able to type a single word. it’s slow going but i wrote 1000 new words for the next chapter of aitc and that feels like a milestone for sure. i may slowly start getting active on main again or i might just come back when i’ve finished the next chapter of aitc and make that my first post back. either way, i’m not rushing it but i definitely am at a place where things are good i’m finally feeling truly happy for the first time in months :) sorry for the overshare!

[xkurzel]

How are you doing? Just wanted to check in and remind you you’re missed here 💙 Hope you’re taking good care of yourself

hey there, anon (and friends and followers)! thanks for checking in and dropping by. i am taking care of myself! i know it’s been awhile... it’s been a rollercoaster of a few months. i’ve had to really go off the grid to focus on myself. i’m sorry i haven’t been in touch. i miss fandom and tumblr and all of my friends here a lot but it’s just hard to come back right now.to be honest... it sucks but it hurts to think about fandom and brittana. i see too much of me and my soon-to-be ex-wife in it. part of why i started writing and why i jumped back into fandom was wrapped up in us that i don’t know how to open it back up without untangling that part. and i hate that i can’t look at brittana without seeing us in them and remembering there’s no us. i stare at my drafts and the blinking cursor and the words never come. i can’t make it through listens of landslide or seeing gifs of brittana without being thrown for a loop. i think about signing onto tumblr and writing back to everyone’s messages and i get overwhelmed and close out the apps. idk how to explain it, really. it sucks but that’s just how i feel. it’s just hard.i hope to come back soon but idk when soon will be. i hope with some space, maybe fandom and brittana can come back to me when i’m ready. so sorry for the wait. i hope you all have been well.

[xkurzel]

[xkurzel]

THIS BOUT TO BRING ME BACK INTO FANDOM

[xkurzel]

Us (2019), dir. Jodan Peele 

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me: you’ve already used this exact turn of phrase two paragraphs ago, that’s too repetitive

me, an intellectual: if I use it three more times it becomes a motif

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Bohemian Rhapsody: Nominee, Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture - Drama

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may 2019 bring you your “i’m doing better than i ever was” moment

[xkurzel]

[xkurzel]

when your friends are all from different timezones but youre online

[xkurzel]

what is your coming out story?

I was gay. And then I told people I was gay.

[xkurzel]

You’re the Aquaman. Aquaman (2018) dir. James Wan

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“I’ve seen the world and I’m sure now, more than ever, that I belong with you.”

[xkurzel]

sometimes i see an annoying ass post on the dash & im like wtf i’m gonna unfollow whoever made me witness this 😤 but then i look & it’s my Beloved Bastard Mutual so i can’t do it……. i have to let the gremlin run wild….

[xkurzel]

[xkurzel]

can yall stop writing paragraphs on here. bitch i cannot read