#the absolute rage and vitriol that people would send their way in response

[willowwormwood]

I'm definitely late in terms of being a Hollow Knight fan, and maybe that's why it's so offputting for me, but seeing how many people seem to feel like they're owed Silksong and updates about it is really bizarre to me?

At this point I see people complaining about not getting any updates from Team Cherry and I'm like. Man, I wonder why they stopped updating people about the progress of the game. Slowly turning to look at the state of things.

Like I genuinely do understand being disappointed at the lack of news, but Team Cherry already has to live up to the hype of not only matching but exceeding the success of Hollow Knight. People are already going to be that much more critical of it, and you know there will be a flood of people when it does come out saying "oh it's not worth the hype it wasn't worth the wait this sucks", regardless of it's quality.

Genuinely I don't care if they take 30 years to make the game. I want them to take their time and make as good of a game as they can, a game that they're proud of and that's enjoyable to play. Especially in a time when it feels like a ton of bigger art companies are just pumping out sequels and remakes and stuff to make a profit like, let Team Cherry take their time man. They don't owe us art, they don't owe us a game.

[fuckzachariah]

aleburton​:

The tip of her tongue planed against the smooth, ivory surface of her front teeth, tickled that Tasha decided to partake in a fixed game. Alex had returned. Had she not considered what the end result would be? In the months prior, they had publicly declared that their romantic relationship had come to an end. A mutual decision with a purpose to protect them both from what seemed like the inevitable. Now, they stood in a room consisting of their dearest friends – many of which had the privilege of witnessing or playing an integral role in their conception, and attempted to persuade them that they were truly over. They weren’t. Every single person there knew it except maybe them. The tension that existed between them was impenetrable, though they made a confident effort to veil it by not providing the other with too much attention. It would take very little to soil their plan. Suppose she passed him a look that was all too easily understood. I want you now. He wouldn’t deny her. And if it ever came to choosing who he preferred to spend the evening with, it would never be Tasha. Did she understand this? Or had her tendency to be so iron-willed clouded her judgement?

Wouldn’t want to rush a good thing? Alexandra only giggled softly in response. It had taken a little under two weeks for Zach to pin her against the soft duvet in their Las Vegas suite. She could still feel her stomach flit wildly with butterflies when she thought back to that moment. The way he hovered above her, eyes alight with lust. His chain necklace swaying like a pendulum. The duration of the chase was inconsequential. He was good all the time. Perhaps she hadn’t come to know him in that way. All the more fun for Alex to rub it in her pretty, little face. Zach turned to her, glimpsing down with gilded halos that made her weak each and every time. She smiled at him, willing to embrace whatever tongue lashing awaited. Of course the vulgar epithet didn’t work with just anyone. She had only meant for it to rile him, allow a number of X-rated mental images to devour him as Tasha set out to hook her nails into him. He could consider it classical conditioning. The harder she tried or any other woman for that matter, the more often he would think of Alex and the lengths she would go to please him. You can do whatever you want to me, Daddy. Tasha’s interest in learning was seemingly ignored as Zach crouched down to her level; the warmth of his breath folding over her ear as he whispered.

Her heart thumped, sending a delicate pulse to the sensitive gem between her thighs. It had been some time since she had moaned something so explicit and her body would not allow her to forget it. “So you are still obsessed with me then,” she goaded him. “Got it.” Before she could continue her pursuit in making him desperately uncomfortable, he offered her up to the game. His hands gathered around her shoulders, pressing his body forcibly upon hers to guide them toward the formidable bowl. “I hate you,” the familiar words dripped from her lax tongue like honey from a spoon, dragging her feet with intent to delay. Aubrey outstretched her arm with a cloying smirk, shaking the bowl to jumble their choices. Zach’s lips made a home upon the camber of her neck, whispering quietly as his fingertips danced along the length of her arm. It seemed they had started a game of their own. They never ended favorably for either of them. Together, they’d selected a dare which he read aloud for the group to hear. Her brows raised, amused by the challenge. As if she would ever pass up an opportunity to see him squirm.

His hands covered her eyes and she laughed rather cooly, mindful of their position. Alex gently pressed herself against him, arching her back to detect the handsome swell beneath his pants. “Easy. Dare,” she purred.

It was a marvel of a thing - she may as well have uttered I love you. Or, with her back pressed up against him, even better - please, fuck me. Hearing that familiar vitriolic sentiment drip easily from her tongue, he was as good as done for. He recalled exactly the first time she had ever uttered the phrase; splayed out and arced as she was now but on Egyptian cotton in their Las Vegas suite, laboured breathing and cushioned walls clinging to his fingers, she’d finally broken and offered the words as a farewell to dignity before giving him everything he’d ever wanted. And again and again, she put up this fight - made him work harder and beg more desperately for the things he craved from her - and he’d never known before that those bitter pills would taste so sweet when they burst between his clenched teeth. He’d do any million and one foul things she demanded of him if she was waiting at the other end, because she’d do them for him, too. That was the schtick everyone in the room seemed to clock except for them. They just simply couldn’t resist playing up to the other, consequences abandoned. So, he leaned into her ear and muttered against the jewelled shell; “I know, baby.”

Which he shouldn’t have. He should’ve stuck to the classic - Burton. Less personal, less suggestive, less everything they were. But the old epithet had rolled up from deep in his abdomen, through his throat and off his tongue before he could even think twice. She laughed softly, her spine curving as he sheathed her eyes, forcing his body to tense against her coaxing. The aim of their game was unclear - rile the other until someone waved the white flag? That seemed to fit the bill, and this play was subtle enough that only he would notice it after their very public toying. Dare, she accepted. “Good girl,” he swung back. His gaze swooped the room, several bodies being urged forward or stepping up themselves, including Luke, to which Zach only screwed his face and moved on. There was no denying they were all curious to see what he’d allow, how he’d respond. Too tame and they’d know the gig was up - if he were to select Eden, for example. Too easy. They’d know he couldn’t stomach more. That they still belonged to one another.

Which now, several drinks deep, he could admit to himself was true. But he wasn’t about to let anyone else know that - and besides, wouldn’t it be fun to see her with someone else, someone that tautened his abs but didn’t send him into a rage? His eyes landed on Ryan, whose eyes bulged in response. He trusted Ryan, for one, but for another he knew Alex would never see him that way, and didn’t they deserve a little retribution to play with one another like Zach had with Eden? Eden squirmed, but ultimately smirked and bowed her head in admittance. But, right as Ryan slowly stepped up, a bustle of people urged Aubrey forward so she lurched before them. When her face came up it was screwed vehemently, shaking her head, looking cruelly down at Alex, who stood four inches shorter. Zach’s stomach turned. He almost said it aloud - absolutely fucking not. But then Aubrey met his gaze, her slender eyes glistening with something he recognized as challenge.

Do it, pussy. You won’t. He bristled. Excited murmurs and laughter and the odd whoop filled the room so as not to give up the gun to Alex. Aubrey purled around him, clearly positive he wouldn’t allow it. But, if he didn’t, it would prove something to her - that she mattered. And he was determined to show she didn’t. His jaw stiffened and he nodded, steeling himself. The room cheered. But Aubrey shook her head - not here. She pointed to the couch. Her loss, not having Zach urged up behind Alex to witness to display up close. He rolled his eyes. “Let’s go, Burton,” he murmured into Alex’s hair, leading her over to sit down. He bent behind her, continuing his low whisper. “Keep your eyes closed,” before abandoning his post as blindfold and side-stepping to join Ryan and Eden, who had closed in anxiously around the scene. Aubrey seemed fixated on Alex, now. An opportunity to look at her closely, play with her in a way she never would’ve otherwise been afforded. Like a predator to prey. What a wild misconception. Zach’s stomach clenched - he hoped, somewhere buried, that Alex would not take offence to this. But she’d agreed to play the game, had she not?

Aubrey, balancing her hands either side of Alex’s head on the back of the couch, parted her bare thighs around Alex’s middle in a straddle and curved her spine for the audience’s benefit. A series of whistles and noises of approval jostled the watchers. Zach was rigid, Ryan’s hand tightened on his shoulder, loathing to admit it but the sight was… certainly something. He held his breath as a curtain of golden waves came down around Alex’s face, and her chin lifted in anticipation. To his surprise, Aubrey curled a manicured hand around her jaw tenderly. She culled Alex inward, slowly, achingly, sinking one plush pout onto another. He sucked in his cheeks, entranced and confused and irritated and revoltingly aroused all at once. Aubrey rolled her hips into Alex’s, her tongue gliding easily over Alex’s plump bottom lip before disappearing inside her mouth, and he was sure he heard audible sighs from around him. His head tilted - he had to give it to them, both women could put on a show.

[ooooo-mcyt]

Yknow, that one scene in Yandere where Grian screams at Okami and calls her a terrible parent definitely feels like projection.

Like, I heard his multiple passionate rants about how if HIS kid was missing then HE would be on the streets looking for them and why the hell isn't Okami doing that, why is she standing around crying instead of doing something, how could she leave her daughter with three kindergarteners and expect things to work out anyways, what is wrong with her, she's such a terrible mother, etc. And I immediately went "Oh yeah. This is a kid who just got abandoned by his parents".

Like. He certainly had a genuine point there. His rant towards Okami wasn't entirely unwarranted. She left her three year old daughter with only some five year olds for supervision and expected it to work out then she and Rowan spent the next day or so sending glares at these three children as if it's actually their fault when they're literally kindergarteners. But Grian went off. And while I wouldn't call Grian blowing up on her entirely unwarranted, I would call it slightly out of place in just how heated and personally upset he was, not just about being blamed, but also about the fact that she wasn't doing enough generally to ensure her daughter was safe and with her. And contrary to some people's belief, Grian isn't actually usually reactionary enough to go off like that at people in an out of place way? He's definitely always had a tendency of falling into the only-sane-man role which means a lot of exasperated and annoyed jabs at the insanity perpetuated by the people around him. And he's always been assertive enough that snapping back at someone who's being irrational or a prick to him isn't abnomal. However screaming at a mother who's child just went missing that she's a terrible parent and reiterating the comment on multiple other occasions to the point of getting sideeyed and reprimended by the other people being unfairly blamed along with him? That's a step outside of his normal wheelhouse. That definitely reads as projected rage considering his own parents had very recently sent him away.

In fact a Lot of Grian's behaviour in Yandere seems to be tied to his feelings over being abandoned. Grian in Yandere is unique because of how generally angry and standoffish he is. Throughout his highschool years, Grian can absolutely be cynical and bitter. However not generally as a core aspect of himself.

In fact, he can actually be quite friendly in his highschool years, with moments of annoyance popping up in direct response to his frequent slating in the Only Sane Man role. Which if you don't know what that means, to quote the Tv Tropes article on the only sane man, "picture this: Alice is a psycho for hire, Bob is a cloudcookolander, henry is an empty shell, charlotte is a chaotic stupid prankster, daniel is the annoying younger sibling, emily is a jerk with a heart of jerk, maria rhymes on a dime, Franklin is a mad scientist, and Gardenia is a holier than thou lawful stupid. Looks like your standard dysfunction junction. But then you have Isaac. Isaac is actually a very well-adjusted individual. He reacts with appropriate horror to things like Alice's finger collection or Franklin's experiments to revive the dead with science, and the crimes against nature that Gardenia calls pets. Isaac is the Only sane Man and The Only Voice Of Reason in the room". Grian would be Isaac in this scenario. He isn't completely free of quirks but he fails to fall under the group delusions of the other's, often calls out the fact that their school should probably be teaching them, is the only one who seems too perturbed by the cops doing nothing to help anyone ever, and pretty consistently objects to doing crime (especially severe or really dumb one's). This along with Grian's tendency to hold deep vitriolic disdain for his abuser (*cough* sam *cough*) down to telling him he's "Literally The Worst Person Who's Ever Existed" can make Grian come across as pretty constantly irritated and volatile.

He's really honestly not though. At least not as an aspect of his personality. Assertiveness and rationality can make him appear volatile when he's in the environment yhs often provides. But we know this isn't his natural state and that when not being actively handed a reason to be upset he's often very polite. This is not the same in Yandere. In Yandere Grian is just plain standoffish, rude, and even sometimes explosive. He doesn't need to be pushed. Anger that in later years would typically be reserved for people who Seriously hurt him is extended a lot more easily. General irritation is also less a notable (if unfortunately frequent) reaction to outside bullshit and more just Grian's state of being in Yandere.

Which I think is, very sadly, a direct result of the abandonment he faced from his parents before the series. Grian makes constant remarks about how he was left and his parents don't love him and how he wants to go home, ranging from petty angry remarks on how he hates this stupid country all the way to teary eyed rambling about his parents leaving him even to the point kf explosive anger. Hell, he spends the first few episodes violently pushing away the only people who try to befriend him and doing his absolute best to salt the earth under them. To me it all just screams of a little kid with abandonment issues trying to avoid further hurt by lashing out after his parents left him, loudly proclaiming his disdain for the country, his class, and every specific person who comes into contact with him frequently enough. Which I just think is Very sad.

[bondsmagii]

“irt your questions abt anon hate: when I was ~13 and first on tumblr, I sent what could be considered anon hate pretty often. After a lot of growth and introspection, I think it was because I'm so anxious and conflict avoidant irl. I could vent all my bottled up rage without feeling personally responsible”

I had a similar experience but with fanfiction, I’m a very conflict avoidant and shy person irl so on fanfiction and archive of our own I could use anonymous to express all the positive and (most often) negative feelings I had towards the way a certain author wrote their story, but that was a double edged sword because when an author got let down by my negative comment I myself felt very bad for even posting negativity on the internet.

So most ended up being a lose-lose situation.

And when I first joined tumblr (I’m not sure if this counts as trolling) I sometimes ended up asking people’s questions about their thought and feelings on certain media (on anonymous of course) just so I could start a conversation about an interest/show I liked without actually having to reveal my internet persona because to them because I get shy even on the internet.

And even now, I’m not sure why I’m telling your this, you can consider this ask a vent post, thanks a lot for reading!

Adding a little to the last ask, the few last times I’ve done that sort of thing through anon, I’ve always have clarified that what I’m saying was just my personal opinion and I try to always also add positive and compliments on my comments just so my comments doesn’t sound so negative. This was mostly due to how the first time I did this (it’s a complicated situation but I have the capacity of recognizing that I was in the wrong here, I would had been able to admit to it back then) the author really did got discouraged by comments and then I didb't has rhe xapaxirt of admirrinf i was wronf in tjat situaruin,

[not sure what went wrong here, anon! I'm getting 'I didn't have the [something] of admitting I was wrong in that situation', but I'm not sure what that missing word is.]

i've been thinking about dm that person and trying to apologize and even drawing them something as an apology of our mutual fandom. they never blocked me or anything, but i still feel very bad about that situation after all those years. Should I try to contact them and apologize properly?

regarding the first part of your message, I think that while some of that was perhaps in poor taste, I don't think it was hate, as such. certainly talking to people on anon about their interests because you're too shy to message them off anon isn't trolling, and so long as you were polite, I don't personally see anything wrong with that. if you were baiting, which is to say sending loaded asks already with a "correct" answer in mind, in the hope that you or others could attack the person if they gave the wrong response, that would definitely be something closer to hate. but as it stands, I don't think what you were doing on Tumblr counts.

when it comes to fanfiction, while I wouldn't call that hate either (unless, of course, you were name-calling or dropping personal insults or being particularly cruel) I am rather fascinated by the thought process. constructive criticism is one thing, so if that's what you were doing fair enough, but if you were being really negative about it I guess I'm just curious as to why you felt the need to say anything at all. you said you were conflict-avoidant, but it seems that by sending these comments in the first place, you were creating the only conflict there. I suppose I'm just wondering what the thought process is behind it: you could have clicked out and ignored it and had zero conflict, yet you were absolutely possessed by the need to say something. I do think this has something to do with why people send real hate, too, like the proper vitriolic stuff, so I'm curious as to what the thinking is there. does the frustration just boil over until you have to say something?

as for your second ask, I'm honestly not sure. it depends on a few things. were you seriously, uncharitably in the wrong, or just mistaken/making your conclusions based on what you knew and who you were then? were you really hurtful and/or insulting, or just a little rude? if it was several years ago, and you were just a little aggressive and rude, I doubt the person even remembers. if you were particularly nasty, though, it might be worth apologising -- even if they still don't remember, it sends a good message, and is encouraging for people to see. I know I'm always very impressed when I see anons on this website apologising, either to myself or others, because it's rare to see that kind of maturity on the internet. usually people argue and ragequit, or argue and double down. rarely does somebody go away and then come back and admit they were out of line. ultimately it's up to you -- sometimes it's best not to rock the boat at all -- but I certainly wouldn't think it was out of line if an anon from several years ago messages me to apologise. I might be surprised, or a little awkward because I might not remember the event in question, but overall I would appreciate the sentiment.

[garfunklestein]

On Bethesda’s Creators Club

Alright, so this is a half rant and half explanation (with the knowledge I currently have on Creator’s Club, which I’ll be short handing out to “CC”). Anything I list is subject to change as the program rolls out this summer. For a few points, hopefully they are changed. Currently, people are spreading a shit ton of misinformation about it. If you wanna be angry and direct your rage at Bethesda, that’s absolutely fine - we need to call out companies when we think they’re doing something unethical, shady, or anti-consumer, as well as expect change from it - but at least let it be an informed rage, not blind and led by internet hearsay.

(Skip until the next notice if you already know about the paid mods fiasco years back) 

A little bit of backstory and context here - a few years back, Bethesda and Valve tried out paid mods. On the Skyrim Steam Workshop, modders who were checked out and given the green light by Bethesda could put up their mods (both new and pre-existing, taking them down from other free modding platforms if they wished), and put them on a new section of the workshop for sale. They could range anywhere from $0.99 (US) to $3.99, as I remember. A few I can recall were a fishing mod from Chesko, some weapon packs (pretty lame and comically overpriced), and I think Frostfall, a hardcore survival mod, and more. The modders would get paid (a rather paltry percentage) of every sale, and Bethesda and Valve would pocket the rest. Pushback against this was almost universal, though the reasons varied.

Some inherently disagreed with the concept of charging money for mods, as it goes against the spirit of modding (something I agree with, to a point), as well as taking down previously free mods from sites like the Nexus only to turn around and slap a price label on them. Then there were those who thought the mods were DRASTICALLY overpriced – to the point of being insulting (also me). Lastly, there were those who didn’t inherently push against the concept of paid mods, but disliked how little the mod authors were being paid for their work, with most of the profit going directly back to Bethesda and Valve (I’m all over the place, but I also saw the argument there, too). Within a couple of days of non-stop death threats and the most inflammatory response they could have imagined, Bethesda backed out and shut it down, apologizing and probably trying to push Fallout 4 out the door A.S.A.P. to help people forget about it. Valve, surprisingly, was adamant. They admitted it was a mistake, but doubled down that they’d like to try it again sometime. It was a mess all around. I think the pushback was good, and the genuine discussion (not the mindless and disgusting vitriol spewed, like death threats to Bethesda and Valve employees over a game) was good, and more or less needed to happen. But it’s looking like we’ll be having more of that discussion now and in the near future.

(If you skipped, read on from here)

Well, now Bethesda’s coming back with it. Kind of. It’s a very different situation, and one that I’m skeptical of, but at least seems much better than their first attempt at it.

At their press conference Sunday night, Bethesda revealed what they called “Creator’s Club”, a new program for their website/modding service Beth.net, for both Fallout 4 and Skyrim Special Edition. As you might know, mods are now available on both PS4 and Xbox One through Beth.net. The way they framed the program was confusing and left more questions than answers. They seriously shot themselves in the foot with a damn Gauss Rifle by not elaborating more on it. You have to go to their website and read their FAQ to get the details you want, and the internet’s already started the misinformation wagon. It’ll take a miracle for it not to be dead in the water by the time it comes out just due to sheer internet outrage culture.

Lemme go over a few points of the program and how it’s different than the paid mods fiasco. Or at least, what I’m getting from their FAQ. Do have a healthy level of skepticism, and be ready to call them out if they don’t hold up to their promises.

·         The way it works, is you’ll be able to pull up the store front in game, and browse their selection of mods, and be able to purchase them with a digital currency known as “Credits” (I will ignore this name and continuously call them Bethesda Bucks). Packs of this currency can be bought through the Xbox Live Store, PSN, and Steam. Once you buy a “mod” (?), and activate it in-game, it will instantly be applied. No having to exit the game to apply it. Does this mean a large set of updates will be needed to keep the content available? Is it similar to on-disc DLC?

·         They’re not taking in hundreds upon hundreds of amateur modders to reupload old content of theirs onto the program. This is much more like a job application. They specified they’re basically looking to make a smaller dev team, and want professional artists, programmers, designers, and more. They’ll also be looking for the best modders in the community with a history of quality mods to join the team, and you’ll have to send in a resume alongside previous work in a portfolio for them to judge.

·         Currently existing mods on other sites such as the Nexus, Steam Workshop, and Beth.net itself will not be taken down or ported to CC. They’re looking to make entirely new exclusive content, and no pre-existing mods may be put into the program.

·         There’s already “a number” of Bethesda employees and developers on the team to help create the content. While they will no doubt be there for supervising purposes, the FAQ also claims they’ll be working with the newly hired Creators to make new projects. They claim all content will be compatible with the base game and other mods, go through localization, and quality assurance (granted, Bethesda’s QA).

·         This is less a point of explanation, but a question I feel needs posing, and its own point. Are these even mods? I mean, we did see a “pack” that added Dwarven Armor to Mudcrabs (ugh), but depending on what else is made, is it less modding, than it is DLC? Or “mini-DLC”? It is being curated by Bethesda’s devs, and these “modders” are less modders and more part-time to maybe even full time employees. If a quest mod for Skyrim is made, will it be checked and have consultation from the ES lore team? Will it have voice acting from Bethesda’s pool of voice actors? There’s way too many questions right now, and Bethesda needs to clarify if it’s coming out so soon.

That’s all that I could gather from their FAQ. Do keep an ear out for any changes, and hold Bethesda to their word. So, go forth with this info, and have this discussion – on paid mods, on what a mod is, or what DLC is, if this is against the spirit of modding, or not. It’s one we as an industry, and as a large collective community, need to have. Personally, I’m going to wait and see CC for myself, then make my judgement. I’m not inherently against the idea of a side development team continuously making content for Fallout 4 and Skyrim, provided it is good content, and is fairly priced. I just really, really hope the selection of content (dear god I’ve had to say content so much in this almost borderline essay) isn’t indicative of the quality and selection we’ll be getting when the program goes live. I really, really hope it isn’t, because there’s honest potential to this to get larger and better projects out the door with proper funding.

Thanks for sticking through this jumbled mess of writing, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

(If you’re a modder especially, thank you for your work and making these communities such fantastic places. Keep it up, and keep improving!)