#the Stevens on beam is so bloody cool

[livmoorez]

Favourite moments of the 2023 NCAA gymnastics season:

Auburn senior Cassie Stevens wins her first all-around title since 2021, scoring a season-best 39.600. She also won the vault title and a share of the beam title.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Breaking down the comics: BENDIS. PART 3. 

READING THINGS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO! 

Part 1 HERE. 

Part 2 HERE. 

This is the final bit! The last three! You ready? I can’t stress how much you aren’t ready for this. 

Issue #10

This cover is kinda meh. They could have done better. Maleev really likes drawing those steel beams though. He went “Man, you know what’s fun and cool? BEAMS.” I can respect that. 

Alright. Reading the title page to make sure nothing else changed when I wasn't looking... 

Looks the same. Just an added line. 

"In the ensuing battle through the streets of Los Angeles, Echo dies at the hand of Nefaria and Moon Knight falls into an uncontrollable berserker rage." 

Makes it sound cooler than it actually IS. 

So we get the same picture we left off with in the last issue only this time they've edited in a dead Echo at the forefront. I don't need to show you that. Seems like they could have given us something different and just used one of the alternate images for dramatic effect. 

We get a collage of action. We see bloody claws, glowing Count eyes attacking, blood across Marc's chest, red explosions, Marc screaming, more blood, and a dead Echo. 

It's dramatic and has a certain flow to it. It does encapsulate Marc's current state of mind pretty well. 

And then... 

We cut to a street and see a TAXI CAB. And a man in a flat cap!!!!! 

….I swear my heart just skipped a beat and I got SOOOOOO fucking excited and then I remembered what was actually happening and now I'm just MAD again. Because… Even after ALL THAT. After everything that happened in the last issues… If somehow…SOMEHOW…Jake suddenly actually stepped in and then we saw Steven… It would have saved this. That Marc didn’t need Fake Cap and Wolverine and Spider-Man. That what he needed all this time was right there… Sure, it still would have been messy, but it could have been explained as Marc breaking down and Fictives coming in or Persecutors or SOMETHING. And I’m sitting here crying because THAT could have been good. And instead we get…THIS. 

Because...This isn't the TV show. This is real. 

"What have you been doing all night, Marlene?" 

He asks Marlene. 

"Waiting for you, Steven." 

ALRIGHT. Let's break this down page by page. 

So Bendis is FINALLY acknowledging that Jake, Marc, and Steven all exist. 

We see Jake coming home in his cab to Marlene. 

It's very reminiscent of Moench. Jake takes them home. Jake always takes them home. There's something to that. 

And once he walks into the house with Marlene, he's no longer Jake. Jake very rarely liked interacting with Marlene, much less hanging out in any of their posh homes. 

And just like in Moench's run, she addresses him as Steven. She always waited for Steven. 

She asks who they destroyed this time. 

He says that isn't fair. 

And it isn't fair. But Marlene started to get bitter towards them in the end. She suffered her own losses and she started to blame him for them. She always hated Marc and loved Steven. And Marc destroyed so much of their life. 

We see Moon Knight asking to go in, but we see the Avenger's masks in the background. 

Notice how Wolverine is on top. 

Marc assumes that Frenchie is the one in the costume. He knows Frenchie left him a long time ago. His oldest and closest friend. The only one that knew Marc Spector as Marc Spector. 

The insistence that "SOMEONE" has to go out because they don't know what's happening implies that someone else is in control and they are all locked out. 

The costume is empty. He doesn't know who'se wearing it. He doesn't know who is inside it. Maybe no one. 

He's confused because he's lost control of his own situation and lost control of everything. 

Because it doesn't matter who he tries to be, who he loves, or what he does... Marc Spector still "Ruins everything he touches." 

He wakes up in a hospital bed, RESTRAINED to the bed with a security guard outside. 

The implication is pretty obvious. And honestly, this is something Marc has dealt with before. And probably something that brings back a lot of bad memories for him. 

He's waking up somewhere he doesn't know where he is, he can't remember how he got there, he doesn't know what happened, he doesn't know who has been out, and he's locked up. 

He's able to make a phone call. 

Detective Hall shows up! 

"Where is he?" 

"He's down the hall." 

"Has he said anything?" 

"He's in pretty bad shape." 

"When do his prints come back from the lab?" 

"Prints?" 

"You didn't fingerprint him? A costumed hero lies dead and bloody in the street and you don't print him?" 

"He's in bad shape. We thought--No one said--" 

"You have Moon Knight in custody. And you didn't think to PRINT him." 

Remember, Hall is from NY. He's familiar with who Moon Knight is. What he can do. What he's known to do. 

"We--We secured the hallway. We have all of the other patients moved to other floors. I mean, it's not like we were--" 

Hall turns the corner to find at least five guards and staff knocked out in the hall, and Moon Knight's room and bed empty. 

Slowly the other officers start to get dizzy and also fall over. The hall has been gassed! 

Hey it’s Buck! 

I appreciate Buck. 

Buck: "Let's move along now..." 

Marc: "I'm beginning to love you, Buck." 

Buck: "Well, that takes the sting off the fact that I know I'm going to hell for this. I just sleep-gassed a hospital." 

Marc: "Seriously...Thank you." 

Buck: "The girl didn't make it." 

Marc: "I told her--I told her to run." 

Buck: "I ain't blamin' you. She's a big girl. I'm just saying." 

Marc: "This is going to...haunt me for a while." 

Buck: "Imagine how she feels." 

Marc: "What happened to...@$@@ing Count Nefaria?" 

We head to some place where we find the Count in pretty bad shape and having a tantrum. 

The...I don't know what this guy is.. Butler? We're going to go with butler. The butler tells the Count's visitor that "He's going to need a minute. It's been a very rough night." 

LOL I bet he had a rough night. Moon Knight tends to do that to people. Moon Knight beaten up and bleeding? Imagine what the other guy looks like. 

"From what I understand, this Moon Knight character got in what can only be called a lucky shot. He stabbed Lucino just as he was preparing a fatal blow. The blow backfired. The police arrived to find Lucino struggling to regain his...Composure. You see, he is not a young man. Containing this kind of power is a true effort in the best circumstances. That's why he needs you." 

We get the identity of the visitor and...Ugh. Okay. THIS Villainess I know. 

Madame Masque. 

If I know her, why don't I know the Count? These are the questions I ask myself. 

She's apparently his DAUGHTER. 

Some of you more well read comic fans may recognize her or her name. ALRIGHT. She was created by Stan Lee and co. back in 1967. Originally named Giulietta Nefaria, but later changed to Whitney Frost. 

She's the daughter of Count Nefaria...And she's historically been the occasional love interest of Tony Stark, Iron Man. 

(Yeah... Tony gets around ALMOST as much as Matt Murdock. ....almost.) 

Originally she wore a golden mask to cover her disfigured face. Her face has since healed, but she still wears the mask. 

Apparently her mother died giving birth to her and the Count wanted her to live a respectable life so he adopted her out to Byron Frost, who worked for Nefaria. 

She's had some back and forth with being a villainess and showing compassion to the heroes (mostly Tony. She’s got a love hate going on with Tony). 

All that aside, we head back to Marc's mansion. 

Marc is listening to his voice mails. 

His assistant is calling to check up to see if he's still alive since she hasn't heard from him in a while. 

He's still healing and in pain. It was a pretty hard fight, after all. Not to mention Echo... 

Wolverine shows up and tells Marc to get up. 

"I can't. You're the reason I'm here!" 

"You're the reason you're here, Bub. You better get up because I guarantee you, Nefaria is up and looking for YOU." 

"And what would you hae me do?!" 

"Finish what you started." 

"I hate you." 

"I don't care. Finish what you started. He's got an Ultron. You're an Avenger. Echo was an Avenger. Avenge her. Save this city." 

Honestly, Marc needs time. He never gives himself time. And for once, Marc is in bed TRYING to give himself time. Trying to feel things and heal and he isn't getting to. I feel for him. 

We head over to the morgue where an autopsy is being done on Echo. I don't need to show you these pictures. 

The doctors discuss who has authority over her body. FBI or the LAPD who brought her in. 

Just as they are about to start, Madame Masque busts in and shoots everyone. 

She recognizes Echo's body, but can't place who she is. 

She finds the weapon staff that Buck outfitted with Vibranium. 

It's a lead and she calls her people to check the black market for rescent buys. She's going to trace it back to Marc. 

We head to the police HQ to find the Detective Hall interviewing Snapdragon again. 

He has a still image of Madame Masque in the morgue. He asks her to identify her. 

Snapdragon does so. Noting that "Her and her dad have what you'd call a strained relationship." 

Snapdragon urges Detective Hall to either bust the Count quickly or get her out of there because she's terrified of Madame Masque and she's a sitting duck there. 

Detective says he's doing his best, but there are stops in place above him. 

We head back to Marc's place. We see Buck parking outside and about to open the garage when he notices red dots, indicating he's in someone's sights. 

"Son of a--" He reaches for his gun. 

"Rrr! N'me!" 

"What?" 

"Don't worry about me! She got the Ultron head! She has Ultron! It's out in the open!" 

Poor Buck. 

Poor Marc. It’s about to get a lot worse for him. 

END ISSUE. Two more to go. 

The hospital scene gets to me. They find Moon Knight near death in the street next to a badly injured Count and a dead Echo and they cuff him to the bed. And then Bendis BLATANTLY showing us Jake. Letting us know that he’s aware of Steven and Jake and that they DO in fact exist in this story, but he’s not going to give them to us? That they just aren’t there? Also, Did you see how wonderful that cap looked? HOW WONDERFUL THAT JAKE LOOKED?! I will forever be angry that we are denied Maleev drawing us Jake or Steven. …And giving Marc a Goatee when Jake isn’t there to enjoy it. >:(

ISSUE #11! 

There the guys are staring again. 

But I DO like this cover. Black and white and the single pillar in the middle. It's a cover of mourning. 

And the folds in that cape? LOOK AT THAT CAPE. 

Marc's in for a bad time. It's about to get REALLY bad for him. 

Alright title page... Oh look, they're changing it just enough to make his deal with Echo even more potent. 

"He has teamed up with (and fallen in love with) another former Avenger, Echo.

Echo dies at the hand of Nefaria, driving Moon Knight off the deep end and setting him on a course for bloody vengeance. Before he can do that, however, Nefaria's daughter, the assassin Madame Masque, breaks into Spector's house and steals the head of Ultron..." 

Not to mention shooting Buck. I hope Buck survives. I like Buck. 

We open on SHIELD Helicarrier 1000 Feet over the Pacific Ocean. 

Hey, it's commander Hill! Nick Fury's right hand man and replacement after he died/ranoff/did his thing (dude does all of the above SO MANY TIMES all the time). 

Moon Knight is trying to call SHIELD. 

"They're using one of Captain America's secure lines." 

"Moon Knight." 

"It's coming from the Los Angeles Area. He's using old codes. From a discharged agent by the name of Buck Lime." 

"Okay, well, put him through. This should be annoying." 

I hate how much no one respects him and thinks of him as just that crazy guy that causes problems.

First of all, RUDE. She knows exactly who Moon Knight is and what his problems are. He had a psych eval when he joined the Avengers the FIRST time. You know she’s read the file. 

Second of all, Captain America should have informed SHIELD of the Count’s actions and locations just in case things DID get out of control. He seems like the sort of villain that they’d want to know the location of at all times, even if he wasn’t being active! 

She berates him for losing the Head, even though the plan was approved by Captain America. 

Buck tells htem that he put a tracker in the head, but when she blew up the garage, the responder was also blown up. He needs them to pick up the signal and send it to them. 

"No. You give ME the signal and I'll send a battalion of Hulkbuster Agents down there to--" 

"All due respect, but I think a lighter touch is needed." Marc makes excellent decisions. 

"Oh, you do? Says the man who 'lost' an Ultron." 

Back with Madame Masque, we see her with the Ultron head. She calls her father to tell him she has it. 

But... "I won't be meeting you. No. Not until you tell me the plan. What do you plan on doing with a homicidal artificlal intelligence you can't possibly control?" 

He tells her the plan (We don't get to hear it) and she suddenly changes her mind. 

"I didn't know that. No. Oh. Okay. Yes sir. I'll see you soon." 

Just as she's about to pack up and head out, a shadow catches her eye. 

Moon Knight pounces from above. 

He attacks with the shield, the webbing, and the claws. 

Wolverine yells to cut her and finish it. 

Marc forces her to get up close and personal and they both take some hard hits. 

Just when it looks like she has the upper hand, she looks back and suddenly realizes the Ultron head is gone! 

Buck has snatched it and is running away. 

Moon Knight manages to distract her until Buck makes it to the car and starts to drive away, her running after him. 

Moon Knight is still recovering from his earlier injuries so he's slower to get up and give chase. 

"Agh! Okay. That really hurt-" 

Wolverine: "Shut up and get up!" 

Madame Masque manages to shoot out his tires and stall his car. When he doesn't get out of the car, she starts trying to shoot his gas tank. 

Gas is now dripping heavily from his car and there are sparks all over. 

A silver Crescent shape appears above her and she shoots it up. 

It's just a cape! 

Spiderwebbing wraps up her guns and Moon Knight attacks. 

Just as he strikes, the car explodes, sending them both flying. 

Ah yes, the seeing the dead girlfriend telling you not to let her death be in vain and to make it mean something trope. 

Marc wakes up and forces himself to move just as Madame Masque is about to stab him. 

I'd again like to remind you that Marc Spector is specially trained in hand to hand combat. Everyone goes on about "Oh yeah this villain is a skilled fighter!" but they still don't have the training Marc has. Marc didn't just wake up one day and put on the mask with a little boxing degree under his belt. 

Boxing, street fighting, Army/Marines, Special ops, SHIELD, underground fight rings and cage fighting...And THEN his years of Mercenary training and how to get out of shit situations because he puts himself in BAD situations constantly and has to dig himself out. 

Not just that, he's a stubborn asshole who would 'rather take the punch than learn to duck' as Taskmaster once said. (My favorite depiction of Marc.) 

So a scary lady like Madame Masque means nothing to him. 

And I appreciate that Bendis and Maleev recognize this. Another point in their corner. (Unlike with Bendis and Burrow who showed him getting his ass handed to him by some no one over and over again.)

“And that’s why you don’t steal from the craziest Avenger on the West-” 

Marc, don't encourage this. 

Marc takes off her mask and finds a beautiful perfect face. 

"She doesn't even need the mask. She's crazier than you are." Wolverine snerks. 

What's this? Echo has joined the commentary. Is she a 'voice/personality' now too? 

"Well done, Spector. Don't forget Buck. ANd the Ultron Head." But why does she speak like Captain America? 

"Oh No...Buck." 

Marc finds Buck laying next to the exploded car. 

"Oh no. Not you too, Buck. Not you too. I'm so..." 

Buck turns around with his gun at the ready. "NGYAA!" 

"HO!" 

"AGH!" 

"It's okay. It's me." 

"Whee is--Did you--?"

"I got her." 

"That--!" 

The police arrive via Helicopter and Marc tells them it's time to go. 

He helps Buck get up and they make a run for it. 

And I must say… The writing between Buck and Marc is top notch. I appreciate the humor they have. The banter. Even Marc poking fun at himself. He’s relaxing around Buck and you don’t see him do that often with people. He’s told Buck that he has problems and Buck still accepts him (even though he hasn’t really said the full extent of his problems). I’m going to give Bendis another point for giving us Buck. 

Thank you Buck. 

Back with the Count! He's watching the breaking news on TV about the latest thing with Moon Knight. 

The Local police arrive at his place. They have a warrant and subpoena. 

"There's quite a few of them. They said it had something to do with Moon Knight." 

"Moon Knight..." Yeah... Count is learning what it means to get Moon Knight under your skin. 

Do you have any idea HOW MANY major marvel hitters have come up across Moon Knight and gone, "Please. Let me face ANYONE...ANYONE...but Moon Knight again." They'd rather fight the Hulk than end up in Moon Knight's sights again. 

Even if they 'won' or kicked his ass... At what cost? This man knows how to be a PROBLEM. It's what he's best at. Marc Spector: professional problem. 

Anyways, END ISSUE. ONE TO GO. 

ANd this is the problem. I liked that issue. It was fun, it was quirky, it had Buck, it had Moon Knight doing what he does best. But then you add in the Wolverine aspect and also the discrimination and then the potential that Echo is ALSO now joined his voices/personalities in his head? 

LAST ISSUE

Issue #12! 

I really love his use of grays and whites. And he draws a fantastic moon. The framing of this image is just spot on. 

Alright. Let's get this bread. 

On the title page! 

We got the usual false info on the start of Moon Knight (I can't believe they changed the story and how wrong they made it.) 

The usual bit about his TV show, Count Nefaria, his hidden new split personality disorder (LOL no). His love with Echo and her death... 

And lastly we have him "ruthlessly" dispatching Madame Masque to get the Ultron head back. 

Then the police catching up with Count Nefaria and making him even more pissed at Moon Knight. 

HERE WE GO! 

We open with the police serving the warrant and trying to get into the house to find the Count. 

Just then, the COunt takes off, flying away and destroying a Police copter in the process. Which was totally unnecessary cause they were just there for light and had no weapons. 

Back at police HQ, Snapdragon hears about the Count getting away and tells the police they had a deal to get her out of there. 

The captain goes to get her. It's time to transport her to protective custody. 

And then the Count shows up. 

"Captain Quaid. You and I had a deal. Payments were made." 

Yeah, that's what I thought. 

The Captain tells the officers to stand down. 

There's an argument and the Count laser eye blasts the Captain to death. The police open fire and Snapdragon takes cover. 

He's pretty pissed at Snapdragon, telling her that he hadn't plan to leave her there to rot after all. That he was going to get her out later and she betrayed him. 

As he's ranting, someone comes up behind him. "Hey, Nefaria..." 

The art here. The action pose. The detail in the rubble… The SASS. The absolute frustration that someone as small time as Moon Knight is this much of a problem. 

This gives me joy. 

Also, in the last Issue, Marc's outfit was pretty torn up. And the issue before that his outfit was pretty torn up. 

He must keep on hand SO MANY outfits. Not to mention capes. 

So here we are again... Marc going up against an over powered villain up close and personal. 

You know what his only advantage is? 

(Look at him. Sitting there on all that rubble like a trouble maker. )

The fact that he is such a problem. 

"Marc Spector: Profession Problem" really should be on his business cards. 

While the Count is distracted by Moon Knight, Snapdragon takes up hier own offense. She shoots at the Count then opens fire on Moon Knight too. 

"Nice. Real nice." He blocks her blows with his shield. 

Then we see Wolverine and the newest member to the innacurate Headmate group: Echo. 

Echo has taken up the voice of reason, since Wolverine killed off Captain America and Spider-man in a previous issue, I guess? 

"Tell him it's time to make a deal." 

Marc tries to make a deal with Nefaria. "Kill me and you'll never get the head of Ultron. And I mean NEVER." 

He then tells him that he's going to lose his empire, his daughter, and his west coast bragging rights. 

Yeah... Count isn't listening. He's pretty enraged. 

It’s kinda funny really. Like he can’t even believe he’s never considered that Moon Knight could ever be his problem.

(Dude’s starting to sound like talking to me must sound like.) 

Moon Knight keeps his paces, but this dude is fast and strong. 

He snaps the claws apart then throws Moon Knight around a bit. 

"Here's what's going to happen according to me. You're going to give me my Ultron head. You're going to give it to me and then you are going to pay off the sizable debt you've racked up. Not with money...but with service. Do I need to explain myself again?" 

He trashes Marc around a bit, ripping up that nice new outfit. 

"And maybe I won't kill you like I killed your little Girlfriend. You have no idea what's at stake here, boy. You have no idea how important that head is." 

Marc tells him that the head is outside. in the parking lot. "No more killing...No more..." 

So the Count drags Marc out of the station to the lot. 

"Yeah, he called the Avengers." 

Oh look! The Avengers! Who we got on the team today? Let's see... Thor, Wolverine, Spiderwoman, Captain Marvel, Beast, Iron Man and...Someone I don't recognize. And they've also apprehended Snapdragon too. 

And Marc, bless his Sass... 

Beaten to a pulp he looks up at the Count: "You see them too, right?" 

Now, according to the things I looked up so I could figure out just WHO the Count is.. He's fought Thor more than a few times and it was mostly an even match, but Thor usually got an upper hand. 

The Count goes on the attack and Thor lays him out with a good ol' Thor hammer. 

Marc takes the opprotunity to crawl over to him. "That's for Echo, you son of a bitch." 

And he punches out the Count. 

And that would be great if that was it. But it isn't. 

We head back to Marc's partially blown up house. 

Tony Stark wants to see the head. 

Marc hands it over. "Ta-Dah!" 

"It's the real damn deal." 

"Thanks for coming to take it off our hands, Stark." 

"Hey, thanks for keeping it out of that nut job's hands. Thanks for calling us when you did. Sorry we didn't get there five minutes faster." 

"What did Nefaria want with it?" 

And Tony tells him. 

Ultron is a highly advanced artificial intelligence that is far smarter than any of them and keeps getting smarter. It wants to wipe out all of humanity. 

It's also out there. They destroyed all the avatar bodies, but the program is out there hiding and waiting and planning. 

Tony speculates that Nefaria either knows 'something we don't--like where Ultron is or what the Ultron plan is...Or he's trying to get ahead start. Trying to get in on the ground floor or when the big bad robot comes to kill us. Maybe he wanted something to Bargain with." 

"I really don't want that in my house anymore." 

Does he think that you can’t have mental health issues and still have a normal conversation or do a normal job? 

The second mental health is breeched no one trusts them to do anything. Or they look the other way then if anything goes out of the normal they go “Oh yeah I always knew he was trouble. He’s crazy, you know.” 

Pisses me off. 

I love Buck. He gets it. He notices when Marc is having a moment and he also knows that exhaustion isn’t great for things. Despite it all, Buck is there for him and he’s willing to help him along the way. 

(And you are never going to see Buck again. He’s quickly erased thanks to the 3 year gap after Moon Knight is canceled. Moved on or like he never happened. This upsets me.) 

You know what else upsets me? 

There's a new headmate now. He just had a frank discussion with Tony Stark. Captain America and Spider-man headmates were killed off. So now he has...

Wolverine, Echo, and Ironman. Three personalities that are NOT going to get along and have VERY different instructions and opinions. Back to square one. 

wtf

THREE MONTHS LATER. 

Studio Back Lot, Marc arrives and is told by his assistant that the show is canceled. 

Not making enough money or something or other. 

(The joke here is that he’s crazy so they expect him to do crazy things.) 

Marc. Let her go. Remember how we talked about you making BAD DECISIONS? 

Marc… MARC. 

Okay. Hold on a second. I need to look something up. 

So, as I noted in part 1... This was one of Bendis' less successful revivals. He re-wrote Moon Knight's past, gave him a new location, and then completely redid his character and D.I.D as well as getting rid of without explaining Steven and Jake. In fact, it's implied that he never HAD Steven and Jake and that they were only used as "Cover personas" and that his "Multiple Personality" issue is new and hidden as he 'imagines' the Avengers working along side him. 

It's used as a ploy to keep the crazy in Moon Knight while also trying to make him interesting when he was ALREADY interesting and Bendis just stripped what was interesting about him away without explanation or cause. 

You don't take the stripes off the Zebra and call it a fancy horse and still expect people to be interested in it like they were before. 

According to one review write up: "It never really caught fire with new fans, and longtime devotees didn't love the concept of tying him into some of Marvel's biggest heroes." 

It was a huge flop. 

During this run, Moon Knight also had a major team appearance (first in over 20 years) in "Secret Avengers". In fact, he was popping up all over the place in this time frame in small side projects and background things. 

And then.... NOTHING. But what about the promise of "He will return in Age of Ultron"? 

WELL....

Age of Ultron, 2012. He appears prominently in Issues #2, 4, 5, 10, and Avengers Assemble Age of Ultron #14. But it is not considered a canon timeline for him and has no affect on the main story. He’s just kinda there. You KNOW how I feel about Marvel events that just take all the characters and mash them together with writers that don’t know how to handle these characters. They just kinda go off of cliff notes on the most recent run that’s been published. 

Let's take a peek at how Moon Knight was handled after the failed Bendis run...  

Avengers Assemble: Age of Ultron

Written by Al Ewing

Art by Butch Guice

Editor by Lauren Sankovitch 

…..THANKS BENDIS. I HATE IT.

Dialogue here because I had to squint:

"Marc Spector. Moon Knight. I've worked with him. Unstable, but useful. So long as he can keep himself together. Right now, he's not doing well. He's breaking. It's in his voice. He needs something certain. Something he can rely on. He needs the Black Widow. The one in his head."

So this is what happens when someone mismanages a character like Moon Knight. The stigma…and it is stigma…sticks. It’s harder to make the good things stick than it is to make the mad things last. Just look at BEMIS. 

Up to this point, there had been a LOT of misrepresentation for Moon Knight. He just kept getting crazier and crazier. More and more violent. Some writers took it to the extreme and others tried to mellow it out but gave him less of Steven and Jake and more of rageful Marc. 

When Bendis redefined Marc’s mental disorder, there was only one way to go with it and it was right into crazy town. The Avengers treated him with kiddie gloves and ‘played’ to his delusions. 

This is how bad depictions of disabilities can snowball. And snowball it did. 

THREE YEARS. No one knew what to do with him. Did they take him back to where he was, cutting faces off of people? Or into the wild and angry phase? Or did they try to carry on what Bendis did here? 

It’s any wonder that it took three years for someone to step up and say “Let me try.” and is it any wonder that their arch was so PASSIVE? 

So here I am with a question: Was this a good run? 

Pros: The art was good and consistent. The dialogue was good and believable. The action was balanced. The stillness was balanced. We had very good fighting scenes with good combat. I FELT for Marc. We got to see Marc in vulnerable situations trying to deal with his failing mental health and his grief. He broke my heart. We also got Buck! It made me legit laugh a few times. 

Cons: VERY POORLY DONE REPRESENTATION OF D.I.D AND MENTAL HEALTH IN GENERAL THAT GOT IT CANCELED FOR THREE YEARS AND SPIRALLED US INTO SUCH POOR DEPICTiONS AND STIGMA. 

The hardest part is that when it was good, it was AMAZING. But when it was bad…. 

So do I forgive Bendis? Do I forgive him for taking on a project he should NOT have taken on? Is it enough for me to enjoy the run and recommend it? Is it enough for me to say “It’s great if you overlook the piss poor representation of D.I.D and Ableism.”? 

I can see why after reading this run, I set it aside and marked it as ‘the worst’ and refused to touch it again. Was it bad enough to warrant that reaction? At the time… Yes. But looking back on it… Perhaps I was a little harsh? Holding it up against Aaron, BEMIS, and even Pepose… It’s top of the line. But how sad is that? 

How sad that we have to hold up something so wrong and say “Hey, it wasn’t the worst so I give it a two thumbs up”? 

We should expect better. Because this comic deserves better. This run should have been up there with Lemire. Instead, it’s down here with “Skip this one”. And that makes me sad. 

What do you guys think? Do the pros outweigh the cons? Is this run still a skip, or is it a read ‘but don’t pay attention to these things’?

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Sinners & Saints-Chapter 17

                 A special thanks to @statell​ for all your help

Previous chapters at AO3

Chapter 17

Sebastian Meyer spun his desk chair around in time to see his secretary drop a newspaper onto his desk. She had the paper folded back to the society section where Danny’s face was beaming as she shook hands with Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister of England. He felt like someone punched him in the stomach and lowered the receiver to its cradle without warning to the caller. “What in God’s name is she doing?” He looked up in time to appreciate the swinging ass of his secretary before the door closed behind her. Sebastian read every word associated with the story and decided his mother was having a last fling before she surrendered the reigns to him this year. Let her have some fun, he thought, a nostalgic party to remember her glory days when she was the seat of power and reigning queen of the socialites. He could give a shit because nothing could stop him now. The purchase of a sizeable chunk of stock was in the bag after his manufactured bromance with a major investor. Sebastian did his best to undermine his mother’s stronghold and convince the man she was suffering from dementia. He was sure this sale would put him close to majority shareholder, so his take over was within reach. Still, the picture gave him an unsettled feeling because she had not surfaced in almost a year. Why now? The crew had worked all night to put the boat right after the party, with orders from Darius not to report for duty until noon the following day. Jamie took advantage of the quiet morning and trained Danny and himself in the gym before swimming laps to cool off. He hated the weather in London. Hot, sticky, and draining.

Adso’s loud purring cut through the fog of Claire’s dream and she felt him head-butting her face. He stretched out beside her and kept his paws on her face until she opened her eyes. Claire rolled to her side and with a finger under his chin pulled his head up to look at her. “Ok my darling, I’m up. Is it food you want?” The door to their deck slid open for some fresh air and was closed immediately to keep humid air from filling the room. Tonight they will weigh anchor, set a course for Paris, and her intimate time with Jamie would be on hold again. She stretched and smiled at their glutenous sexual pursuits over the past week and figured she would survive the three days apart. She couldn’t wait to get to Paris and see Javier and Joseph again. They were invited to the party and would stay on board to Athens and then fly home. It felt like an eternity since they were together. Darius called a meeting of the crew and ran down the teams, shifts, and duties on their three-day trip to Paris. Maia was the last one onto the bridge and noticed Cici did not move away from Darius when she came in. She stood across from them and quietly listened to the meeting, however she remembered not a word. When the crew muttered “aye, captain,” Maia was deep in her memory, adding up the lingering looks and odd behaviors observed in Cici. “Maia? You’re a million miles away.” Maia looked around at the empty bridge and blushed. “I’m closer than you think. I gotta go.” Black Rolls Royce automobiles pulled up to the offices of the Harbor Master all day long so someone in the employ of a party guest could deliver a handwritten message thanking Danny for a lovely evening. When Darius requested permission to make way, he was told a boat was coming to deliver mail. Eighty-five guests sent a thank you note, and Danny read every one of them. The anchors were raised just as a thunderstorm ripped open to soak Ethan and Steven, who gripped the slippery hull ladder with one hand while they guided the chain with the other. Darius watched the CCTV monitors closely until they were back on deck. The other crew members were pulling furniture and lounge chairs under the deck ceiling and snapping waterproof covers over everything. When all of them were back inside, Darius and Jamie turned the yacht away from London toward open water. Danny looked out the expansive windows at the squall coming in on the port side and told Claire and Maia to close all the windows. Claire ran to her rooms and called for Adso, usually on her lap at this time of the day, getting more frantic by the second. She ran around her room calling for him and spun around to see him sitting on her bed yawning. She picked him up and carried him out to the table where they were working. Darius looked at the color of Jamie’s face and decided he finally found his friend's weakness. “You look a bit green around the edges, friend. The trash can is empty if you need …” Jamie ran for the head and over the next two hours, purged his system, in one way or another. Darius was waiting to give him a patch for seasickness, but Jamie couldn’t spend more than a couple of minutes on the bridge before dashing back to the head. On one of his brief visits, Darius pressed something sticky behind his ear. Jamie made a run for the bathroom again and Darius chuckled. After four hours of being tossed around on an angry sea, Darius could see the margin of the storm and pushed their speed to get out from under it. When Maia and Steven arrived to take their shift, Jamie almost crawled out of the elevator and got to their rooms to lie down. Claire was reading and jumped off the bed when she saw her green-faced love stagger in. She pulled his clothes off and propped him up on pillows, then went to the galley for soup and water. The chef was preparing food for the next day when she told him how sick Jamie was. He smiled and fixed up a remedy for seasickness and suggested broth to restore him. “He won’t like the taste of the remedy, so tell him to pinch his nose and swallow. Best to have a bucket nearby, just in case.” Claire carried the tray to their room and Jamie did whatever she told him to. Then he laid down and passed out. Jamie reported to the bridge the next morning feeling much better except for sore stomach muscles. He kissed Claire as they exchanged places and the familiar rotation was back in full swing. Claire worked with Danny during the day, getting her to remember the faces that would board in Paris, and Maia did research on the guests. When they dropped anchor in Paris, it felt like they had hardly moved. The night of the party, Claire and Maia flanked Danny again at the entrance to the grand saloon and fed her information about guests who were approaching. When Claire saw Javier and Joseph in the greeting line, she broke away to throw her arms around them. Javier held her at arm’s length and smiled at her gown and hair. He was bursting with pride, as was Joseph. Claire introduced them to Danny and Maia and walked them into the saloon to find Jamie. Jamie’s smile was brilliant as he shook hands with the men. Claire promised to catch up in a bit and went back to Danny greeting guests. It was a stifling evening and even with the air conditioners blowing Danny was perspiring in her jacket, so she took it off to reveal the sleeveless gown underneath. Jamie caught sight of her and beamed with pride at her smooth and shapely arms. Danny looked in his direction and smiled back. At one o’clock in the morning, Claire dropped onto the couch between Javier and Joseph and sighed. Danny smiled her gratitude at the three of them. “I owe you a big thank you for talking with the French-speaking guests. I never saw any of you sit down all night and you were all so charming!” “I left you to fly solo tonight and you knocked it out of the park Danny.” “I wasn’t alone, I had the darling Maia with me much of the night.” Claire put her hand on her heart and lipped ‘thank you’ to Maia. She noticed Ethan and Steven had changed into their day uniforms and were standing by. “It would appear we are moving the boat to our mooring so it’s time to change and be useful.” She kissed Javier and Joseph goodnight and then Danny, telling her to rest well. Danny looked up at Maia and tapped her other cheek for a goodnight kiss and they all went to their rooms. Claire clipped the radio to her shorts and heard the crew members give their location and readiness to the bridge. She pulled a t-shirt over her head and pushed her hair into a ponytail. “Claire, are you close? You’re on the aft deck to catch the stern ropes.” “Yes, had a devil of a time getting that dress off, but I’m almost there.” “Thank you for the visual now move your ass, we’re ready.” Claire rolled her eyes and jogged to the aft deck to catch the enormous ropes used to tie the yacht to the dock. When the anchor chains were quiet again, Steven popped up on the ladder and helped with the remaining ropes before descending again when they dropped anchor at the mooring. Claire was grateful for the hard-working crew who would put the boat in order before morning. She was exhausted. “Good job everybody, captain out.” Maia came to the bridge in her pajamas, eating dry cereal out of the box. Darius was writing in his log and kept looking over at her soft pants riding her hips four inches below her belly button. When she lifted the box above her mouth, he watched her breasts bounce under her pj top. “Done!” Darius picked her up as she threw the empty box into the trash on the way to their rooms. As before, Danny held a brunch the next day for Javier, Joseph, Danny, and the four friends. It was a beautiful afternoon in sunny Paris, and Darius did the unthinkable. He gave the crew the day off, postponing their departure until the next day. In New York, Sebastian took the folded paper from his secretary and his eyes bugged out at the picture of Danny in a sleeveless gown toasting a major stockholder and oil investor. “What the bloody hell is going on?” “Get Marvin on the phone, interrupt him, tell him it’s an emergency!” “Marvin! Tell me Johnson is ready to sell before I lose my mind! My mother is up to something and I don’t like it.” Sebastian listened for two minutes, heard his financial manager say Johnson had taken his shares off the table, and the phone slammed into the cradle so hard it shattered. “Goddammit!” He unplugged the phone base and threw it against the wall. The next morning, Jamie and Darius prepared to weigh anchor as the crew covered deck furniture and stowed planters in the plant garage. Ethan and Steven raised the anchors and the mighty engines came to life. Javier and Joseph sipped cold champagne on the deck and marveled at the teamwork required to get them underway. Claire, Danny, and Maia joined them to watch the historic sights and beautiful buildings glide by on their way down the Seine. Claire had mixed feelings about anchoring off Greece again because so much had happened there. Thankfully, there was no party to prepare for and they could act like tourists for the three days Darius and Maia would be onshore visiting family. She told herself to relax and enjoy the time with her godfather. The third night at sea, Danny planned a special dinner on the upper deck for Claire and her family, Jamie, Darius, and Maia. They were served by the crew, and the chef prepared a glorious meal for them to enjoy. Many stories were shared after dinner, and Claire watched Danny talk animatedly with the others. Her jawline was still defined and her neck showed no drooping skin, in fact, she was aging quite well but no one would know it because her shoulder-length hair kept her best parts hidden. She decided it was time for Danny to emerge and wished she had thought of this while still in Paris. She would talk to Danny at her first opportunity, which was later that evening when she was reading in the saloon along with Javier and Joseph. “Danny, I would love to treat you to a new hairstyle. What do you say to a girl’s day out in Athens?” “I am quite comfortable with my hair, as awful as it is. I’m not comfortable risking a bad haircut. How about facials and pedicures?” “Okay, that would be fine, I guess. I’m on shift in the wheel room in two hours, so I’m going to lie down for a bit. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Claire needed Jamie’s help for this and found him watching a rerecorded game in their room. She snuggled up to him and whispered she needed a favor. The game flicked off before her sentence was finished. “I am trying to talk Danny into a new hairstyle, something more modern, but she’s afraid of having a bad haircut until it grows out. You could draw her face and put different hairstyles on her, right?” “There is a very high price for such a service Sassenach, but I’d be happy to break it down into installments if you like.” He pulled her down on the mattress and kissed her until she forgot who Danny was. Through the night, while Claire was on shift, Jamie sat in his studio and rendered Danny’s face with three hairstyles he found on the internet. He jogged to their bed to grab four hours of sleep before his last shift of this leg. Darius was getting more uptight by the minute as they cruised toward Athens. He and Maia would visit their family for three days, so Jamie assumed this mood was family-related. “I’ve been wanting to ask you, it’s none of my business, but I’ll ask anyway. When we were at the jewelry store in Jamaica buying the necklace for Maia, you said you had two grand to your name, remember?” Darius shot him a dark look. “What did you do with your earnings then?” “You couldn’t be more right, it’s none of your business.” “I think I know the answer, but I’d like to hear it from you.” “Me and Maia have all we need while on the yacht, so I send the bulk of my pay home, to my family and hers. The economy is poor, very few good jobs, low pay, no assistance. My two brothers live in the same house as my sister, her husband, and their baby. They need every penny.” “I always knew you were a good man, Darius. What are you forty, forty-five years old?” “I’m twenty-seven asshole, and I don’t need a lecture about robbing Maia from the cradle. ” Jamie ducked as wadded paper was launched at his head and the bantering took the edge off of Darius’s mood. The anchors hit the seabed close to Athens, where the fishing was good for both pole and speargun. Darius and Maia said goodbye and got into a boat brought by Darius’s brother and it sped away. Javier and Joseph were gleefully setting up their fishing lines and sipping beer in chilled glasses. They now had a partner in crime. The chef was crazy about fishing and kept the men within arms reach of food and beer while they enjoyed the day. Jamie felt soft arms come around his waist from behind and twisted his body to put Claire under the shower water. He kissed her under the stream and felt a ravenous hunger ignite in his groin. They could take their time today, he realized, and broke his kiss to wash her hair. “It’s time for a whisky, love. Be a good girl and stay here, I have some things to discuss with you.” When Jamie left to fetch the whisky bottle, Claire went out to the deck with her nail kit and put a fresh coat of polish on her fingernails. Jamie set a whisky in front of her and watched the process with mild interest. He stood behind her and pulled the string holding her bikini top on, letting it fall to the deck, then he carried her to a lounge. Claire kept her hands in the air so he wouldn’t smudge the polish, and Jamie smiled wickedly at her. “Let me pamper you, love. Give me your foot.” He found all kinds of creams and scrubs in her caddy and settled on a soothing gel that he applied to her feet, calves, and thighs, covering an inch at a time very slowly. He massaged her inner thighs until she was panting, taking care not to touch her most intimate places. This was about seduction, and that required a soft touch. Pulling her foot into his lap, he sat down on the deck and held up bottles of polish until she picked one. The hours he had watched her manicure her toes paid off when he brought out each tool for cuticles, filing, and smoothing. When the paint rolled onto her toenails, he could see her thighs quivering slightly and smiled with his bowed head. When the first foot was done, he licked from her knee to her core, pulling her bikini bottom to the side and pulling his soft, wet tongue up her fold. The fabric was returned to normal and he grabbed the other foot for the same treatment while she panted and tried to slow her heart rate. It took an excruciatingly long time to paint five toenails and drink two shots of whisky. Claire was growling with need and gave her love a warning look to finish what he started. It took another hour but finish he did and they curled up on the lounge for a happy siesta. By mid-afternoon, Claire found Javier, Joseph, and the chef, drunk, sunburned, and deliriously happy. To her surprise, Danny had joined them and was holding two of their poles with lines in the water. She greeted Claire with a happy smile, so excited to be fishing. “Claire! Look, I am fishing for my supper, isn’t that fantastic? I haven’t caught a single fish yet, but I am determined.” Javier looked at Joseph and asked if he baited the hooks to which Joseph raised his shoulders and giggled. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Give me a pole Danny so I can check your hook.” Soon there was a spinning lure attached to the line and cast far into the water. Claire handed the pole back to Danny with a warning that the fish were large and might pull the pole out of her hands if she wasn’t ready. Danny squealed with delight and watched the water with anticipation. Claire baited the other hook and sat next to Danny, trying to ignore the loud snoring of the three men who were now sleeping in the shade. Claire’s pole jerked violently, and she heard the line running out as the fish dove deep to get away from the hook. She counted five seconds and pushed the lock on the reel, almost losing the pole when it jerked back hard. Danny dropped her pole in her excitement to help Claire, and it jerked on the deck when another fish swallowed her hook and then tried to get away. Fortunately, the pole was pulled along the deck sideways and got caught by rail mountings so they didn’t lose it. Both women were screaming and laughing, trying to reel in the first fish. Jamie’s head jerked up hearing the chaos outside. His book forgotten, he ran to the deck and watched Claire and Danny pull the same pole, losing themselves in laughter. He grabbed the other pole and demonstrated how to reel and pull the fish, but they were hopelessly lost in their fun. He felt the fish release his line and swim to freedom while he reeled in the hook and set the pole aside to help Claire. From behind Claire, he moved her hands, holding them still while the fish ran the line out again, and then pulling up sharply to set the hook deeper. Danny held onto the pole like it was a lifeline while she bent over laughing. When the fish was exhausted, Jamie had them walk the pole and fish along the side deck where he could net the beautiful sunfish that would feed them that night. Claire and Danny jumped around the aft deck, lost in their celebration. Jamie made quick work of gutting the fish and cutting away the parts that were unusable. The chef roared from the side deck to stop as Jamie was about to throw the head far from the boat. “That head will make the best fish head soup!” The chef took command of the fillets and head and left them for the galley, very excited at their catch. Danny showed Claire how to wash with soap and then cut lemon sections to rid the skin of the fishy smell. Danny went to lie down until dinner and the crew was cleaning the main saloon, so Claire went outside to fetch her godfather and Joseph off the deck. They went down to their rooms to tend their sunburned skin and nap. Jamie pulled Claire to their rooms and closed the door before pushing a button that pulled the blackout shades down the massive windows. He pulled Claire to the bed and suggested a movie to which she happily agreed. “This is a classic that I found in the video library upstairs. I think you will really like it.” Claire cuddled up to Jamie when the movie started and was well into the story before it suddenly heated up with erotic scenes between two lovers. She couldn’t pull her eyes away as the characters showed body parts she didn’t expect to see. Jamie watched her face flush as the scenes became more erotic and he chuckled, suggesting they watch something else. “No! I mean, don’t you want to see how it ends?” “As you say, love.” Claire lost herself in the beautiful actors and for the first time, watched a woman making love as her breasts bounced with the pounding. The woman’s inner thighs looked so soft as she spread them for the man’s mouth moving toward her core. When the sex got rough, Claire’s panting was giving her arousal away. “Should we find another, sweetheart?” Jamie pulled her in front of him, between his legs, and pressed her back against his chest in a relaxed posture. Claire was hypnotized by the sex scenes and hardly noticed Jamie pulling her feet to the sides to open her legs. When he touched her, it was like a firebomb to kindling and he gave her all the thrills she had just seen. When they collapsed, gasping for breath, Claire was panting out “how” and “why” and certain unintelligible words making Jamie chuckle. “It takes a bit of work the second time in the same day, love.” “Wow, that was… wow.” After another shower, they finally stumbled to the table for dinner and Jamie was still chuckling at her deer in the headlight eyes. She needed help to come back to the here and now, even though he loved her expression and blush. “Sassenach, how do you like the fish you girls caught today?” “Hmm?” “The fish, how do you like it?” Claire looked at her plate like she just realized she was chewing food. “It’s wonderful! I really love it.” She and Danny started talking about the next party, and Jamie knew she was back on earth. He missed his starry-eyed wife instantly. They shared a closeness for the rest of the evening and he cuddled her in their bed that night wanting to hold her close all night long, but that was not going to happen. Jamie’s eyes would not close, his breathing would not deepen, and his mind felt like a pinball game in play. He rolled quietly out of bed and made his way to the studio. A painting was clamoring to get out, and he felt the crushing responsibility to get it right.   Sunrise filled the studio with light as the third canvas was sent to the failure-closet, so named that very night because it had not happened to him before. He went to his sketch pad to work out the dimensional issues and used colored pencils to test the color differences. If he couldn’t find the skill to paint it accurately, he wouldn’t do it. It was that important. Jamie knew Claire would be up soon and he wasn’t ready to share this picture yet, so he put his drawings away and put the five-lads on the easel, then he went to snuggle with his wife. Claire hugged Javier for a full minute, and then Joseph. She wiped a tear off her cheek and smiled bravely wishing them a good flight back to Paris. They both turned in their seat and waved as the taxi pulled away. “Darius and Maia return tomorrow and then we weigh anchor for strange places Sassenach. Perhaps the three of us sit on the deck today and fish. What do you say?” Danny jumped to fetch whatever Claire needed that afternoon. She could feel her melancholy, and her maternal instincts took over. At least until the first pole nearly bent in half from a monster fish that latched onto Jamie’s hook. The women abandoned their poles to render aid that was not needed, and Jamie tried to reach his pocket when he felt his phone vibrate. It was hopeless reaching through the women’s glee, so he held his pole out to the side with one hand and clicked to answer the call. “What the hell is going on over there?” “Two excited women helping me boat a fish, but it could be long gone by now because I can’t feel the pole move anymore. What’s up?” Jamie listened to the instructions given, “on my way.” Handing the pole to Claire, he excused himself to tender Darius back to the yacht, and Claire looked confused when the pole was no longer bouncing. It was obvious Darius was hurt and Jamie helped him into the tender without commenting on his bulging eye that was swollen shut, his bloody mouth, or his arm held tightly to his side. “Hospital?” Darius shook his head, “boat.” Darius crept into the saloon hoping to make it upstairs before anyone saw him but the stairs were impossible. He turned around to use the elevator and heard Claire’s voice as he winced from his broken ribs. “Don’t you fucking move, Darius.” She led him to the galley by his good hand and pulled his sunglasses off while he voiced his complaint. Claire grabbed the emergency kit, a frozen steak, and led him up to his rooms. He couldn’t lay down because the position drove the broken ribs into his lungs so Claire cleaned the wounds as best she could. “I didn’t know you had such a crush on me, Claire.” “Shut up, you idiot. What happened to you?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Jamie found Danny cleaning up the fishing gear and looking worried. “He probably told you to leave him alone, and while that works most of the time, it will not work today. Maia knows what to do so get her back here so she can help him. Jamie, please do this.” Jamie was naturally resistant to Danny’s gift, but he heard the edge in her voice and reached for his phone. Twenty minutes later, a wide-eyed Maia was climbing into the tender asking how bad the injuries were. She interrupted his explanation saying she could swim faster than he was going so he pushed the tender to its limit and soon they were flying across the water. Maia could hear Claire arguing with Darius as she approached their rooms and kindly asked Claire to wait downstairs. She glanced at Darius and saw his tears of pain and frustration. So she helped Claire exit the room and locked the door behind her. Claire could hear them talking and ripping packages of emergency supplies. She was terrified and crying, having never seen anyone fresh from a brutal fight. Jamie put his arm around her and led her downstairs where the three of them waited in the saloon to hear more about his injuries. Maia cleaned the wounds, wrapped his ribcage, and slapped his good hand when he tried to loosen the ace bandage constricting his breath. She pushed a pain pill into his mouth and moved her finger along the base of his teeth searching for a loose wiggle. Ten minutes later he could lie down, gingerly. She knelt next to the bed and put her head down, fighting the tears she didn’t want Darius to see. His good hand stroked her hair, and he whispered to her that everything was alright. When she gave in to the sobs, he held her as best he could and reminded her he was the captain with a job to do and she was expected to help him for a little while. “Darius, of course I will. I’ll pull the boat with my bare hands if you ask me to!” She held his hand against her cheek and searched his face, feeling relief when he smiled at her. “It’s alright,” he said, stroking her hair. “My face scared you, but you patched me up with a steady hand, and now you need to cry a bit. It’s okay to cry, and then I wonder if you might tell the others what happened so we can all shake it off and depart in two days.” Maia could see he was asleep and covered him before going downstairs. Her eyes were puffy from crying and nothing would change that, so she walked into the saloon and told them what happened. “Darius sends most of his pay to his family and mine. His sister lives in a small house with her baby and husband, and Darius’s two brothers moved in a year ago because they were homeless. Darius said the house was a horrible mess. The front door had been kicked in, glass was missing from windows, the baby was crawling through filth. His sister is afraid of the brothers who spent all the money Darius has sent. Her husband leaves on Monday to work on Mykonos and he is gone all week. Darius ordered them out of the house and called the husband, telling him to walk off the job and come home to protect his family. Darius said he would cover his pay. They jumped him and beat the shit out of him.” Maia looked up, “sorry for my language. He has a job to do and I will help him. We leave in two days, nothing has changed.” Danny held her hand up to stop Maia and seemed to struggle with the right words. “I know it’s hard for the four of you to accept my gift, and I don’t talk about it much, but I have to tell you something. Darius suffered an impact to his abdomen, a kick I think, and his spleen is bleeding. I can see it bleeding and it might have to come out. If I could get close to him I will know for sure. This could threaten his life, so we shouldn’t wait. Please wake him and ask if I can see him, Maia.” “C’mon.” When Darius didn’t wake up right away, Maia got scared and shouted at him. She squeezed his hand and apologized. “Is the boat on fire, sweets?” “No. Darius, were you kicked in the stomach?” “No.” He closed his eyes again and Maia muttered about Danny being wrong as she walked to the door. “Maia, yes, I was kicked in the stomach, several times. Why?” “Danny needs to see you. Something about your spleen is bleeding. Can I let her in, please?” “Yes.” Danny entered and reached for his hand, looking concerned. He watched her. “I can’t tell if it’s going to stop. We can go to the hospital now or I can check you later.” “Check later if you would, I don’t like hospitals.” “Alright, dear Darius.”   Danny left and Maia sat on the floor and put her head near his on the mattress. She stroked his arm until she was sure he was asleep again. “I love you so much, Darius.” “I love you too, sweet one.” Jamie and Claire finally said goodnight and Danny went to the elevator and her rooms. All through the night, she monitored Darius, sneaking into their room to lay her hand on his foot. On one visit, she put a blanket around Maia and pulled the covers around Darius. Her last visit was at five o’clock in the morning. She kept her hand on his foot because she wanted to be sure. “You did it, young man,” she whispered, “no splenectomy for you, so kindly put your cape back on, and save the day… when you’re ready.” Danny was exhausted and desperately wanted to lie down on her bed. She rode the elevator down to her floor and held the wall as she walked. She was proud of Darius for his decision to heal. Later, Jamie spent some time with Darius and he was particularly sarcastic and funny because Darius begged him to stop making him laugh. Jamie decided that was enough painful levity for one day and left, grabbing Maia in the hall. “Maia, I have spent too much time with Darius and I don’t want to wake him up. He asked me to alert the authorities that his sister should be alone in the house waiting for her husband, but he didn’t give me the address.” Jamie pulled a notepad out of his pocket and had a pen poised to write it down. He started to move down the hall like he was in a hurry and raised his eyebrows at her. She gushed the address out and then went into their rooms. Jamie pushed the pad into his pocket and went downstairs with a face that could murder a man just looking at it. After dinner, Jamie pulled Claire into their rooms and made passionate love to her. She mumbled something about her jello legs as she slipped into her dreams. He waited until she was deep enough not to feel him roll out of bed or hear him dress. He jumped in the tender and paddled halfway to shore to avoid waking anyone. He had a mission to complete before they left in the morning. Danny stood in the dark saloon and watched Jamie paddle the tender. She was conflicted about raising the alarm or letting it happen. She whispered, “forgive me, Jamie,” and went back to bed. Jamie leaned against a large tree and dozed for half the night, waiting for the brothers. He would bet his last dollar they hadn’t left and Jamie knew the husband would not be back until the next day. His head jerked up hearing the drunken laughter of two men approaching. They staggered toward the sister’s house and Jamie cleared his throat to make them turn around.   One of them addressed him in what sounded like gutter slang and Jamie smiled like an altar boy and pulled his wallet out. The men approached so Jamie lowered the wallet so they would see the large bills he thumbed through as he talked about paying them off to stay away from the sister. He was not getting through to them so he said, “Darius,” and waited. One of them shoved a fist in Jamie’s face.   “We take your money and drop you in the deep ocean. No worry, you be dead.”   Jamie’s eyes were wide with fright and he backed into the tree with his hands in a defensive position. They were smiling at each other coming toward him when Jamie suddenly stood upright and laughed, stopping them in their tracks.   “Oh! I.. I know who you two are, you beat the shit out of my friend, your own brother!” He was still laughing while the men shot glances at each other. “You know, Darius said you guys fight dirty.” More laughter. “What a relief! Because so do I.”   Jamie jumped up and grabbed a tree limb, driving his feet into one man’s face. He dropped to the ground and pulled his jacket off showing the second man his sleeveless t-shirt and the bulging muscles in his arms. Before the man could run, he grabbed his long greasy hair, and drove his knee into his back, flipped him around and pummeled his face until the man collapsed on the ground.   Jamie grabbed the last of the rope he brought and wound it around the man’s legs. Both of them were tied to different trees with no possibility of escape. Jamie hoped the husband would be the first to find them. He pushed a note under the ropes and put his jacket back on. He had a naked wife waiting for him in a big warm bed. He headed for the tender. Danny thrashed in her bed, having one hell of a nightmare. She saw men fighting and one of them run away. Suddenly, the man stopped and looked directly at her, “it’s alright Danny, I won, rest now,” came the echo of his disembodied voice. Her eyes flew open and she sat up in her bed, gasping for air. She felt the presence of Jamie above her and sighed her relief as she dropped back to her pillows, feeling much better.

[vcg73]

Witch!Kurt #20: Witchcraft 101

I really should have worked in Kurt’s witchcraft studies a long time ago, but just keep in mind that in spite of the length of this series, it only actually covers a couple of months in character time. (Author’s excuse. Heh.) To make up for it, this chapter is quite lengthy.  : -)

 ~*~*~*~*~

 “How did it go?” Kurt blurted the moment he walked in the front door on Friday evening.

 “How did what go?” Adam asked, with a display of overt innocence.

 “The job interview, as if you didn’t know!” Kurt said, wrestling his way out of his dove gray wool pea coat, black gloves, gray and purple scarf, and a deep purple Homburg hat crafted from warm finely-woven wool that Elliott had given him for Christmas. He took a moment to brush a dusting of white off the hat brim before placing it lovingly on the little stand he had installed next to the front door. “I’ve had my fingers and toes crossed for you all day.”

 “That must have made dance class fun. Is it snowing?”

 “Just started again.” Kurt came in and plunked down on the sofa, sitting sideways so that he could face his still annoyingly unperturbed fiancé. He paused for a moment, distracted by Adam’s ensemble of a crisp white shirt, a dark red tie with subtle stripes, Kurt’s old Cheerios warm-up pants, and black slipper-socks. “Nice outfit.”

 Adam glanced down at himself and laughed. “Oh, right. The interview was a video chat so I only spiffed up the upper half. I was wearing a Henley and your Hello Kitty apron to cook dinner, but that didn’t seem quite appropriate to the occasion.”

 “Probably not the impression you wanted to make on a bigwig like Stewart Henderson,” Kurt agreed, tugging Adam’s tie forward to kiss him on the lips. “How did it go, though? Did he love you? Does he want you to start right away? Is the remote connection thing going to be an issue?”

 Adam’s shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, but all I can say so far is that I’m in the running and that Stewart seemed to like me. I finished my interview just a bit ago, and though I had the feeling he was somewhat skeptical of Gran’s glowing sales pitch, after speaking with me he said that I showed good instincts, had an excellent educational background, and that he thought I might do, but he’d have to look into a few things. I assume regarding my issue with leaving the house, though he didn’t specifically say so.  I didn’t go into the real reasons, either, but I also didn’t try to hide my condition from him and he seemed to appreciate that. At the end of the interview, he said he would have someone contact me once he’d made his final decision. He still has a couple more candidates to speak with.”

 Kurt deflated. “Damn.  I hope that wasn’t polite code for ‘better luck next time’. I really thought he would recognize quality and snap you right up.  But hey, you put yourself out there and no matter how this goes, that’s still progress. Plus you’re on a first name basis with Stewart Henderson. That’s pretty impressive!”

 “Well, I don’t think I’ll be inviting him to pop round for tea any time soon, but he was very kind and surprisingly easy to chat with. Quite a funny man,” Adam said, seeming far less disappointed by the idea that he might have received a brush-off than Kurt was. “He insisted that I use his given name the moment we began. Said if he was going to consider taking on an assistant who is only 24 years old, he was damned well going to pretend we were contemporaries and not be reminded every two minutes that he’s old enough to be my grandfather. And as I said before, if this doesn’t pan out, I still have a few more avenues to explore. This, for example.”

 He offered Kurt a sip of tea from the steaming cup he’d had before him on the coffee table. Kurt’s nose twitched at the scent, recognizing the particular blend of jasmine tea from a local shop they both liked. “Bui’s Tea? What does that have to do with anything?”

 “The interview got bumped forward an hour so as I had some extra time, I walked over for a cup and a biscuit before starting on dinner,” he replied casually, as if the shop was not five blocks away and farther than he had ever managed to venture on his own before. Seeing Kurt’s probing look, he dropped the nonchalance and admitted, “It was terrifying. You probably felt a sense of panic right around 3pm. I was honestly attempting to go to the grocery and buy a bottle of wine to serve with the lasagna, but it started to snow rather hard before I got halfway. Suddenly finding myself surrounded by a field of swirling white nothingness . . . well, let’s just say that I had to duck into the first available shop before I ended up having a melt-down in the middle of 12th Street.”

 “I did feel something, but I thought you were getting worked up about the interview. I was in the middle of dance class so I couldn’t call to check on you. I almost did, but then the feeling stopped. Should I have called anyway?” Kurt asked, guilt washing over him as he said, “Oh gosh, I should have. I knew it!  I tried to absorb some of the fear and project a sense of confidence back down the length of our connection, but Miss July called on me right then to demonstrate a series of wing changes.”

 Adam reached over and squeezed his hand, telling him without words that he was not upset that Kurt had not dropped everything to run to his side. “How did that go? If you were projecting to me at the same time, I’m guessing not very smoothly.”

 He sighed and brushed his free hand through his hair. “Yeah, it could have been better. I know I was doing the moves correctly, but between your anxiety and my distraction, Miss July told me that I looked like an over-caffeinated cricket. The class found that hilarious until she made us do speed rounds against each other.”

 Adam laughed. “Nice. You’re a regular speed demon on the changes. I’ll bet they were eating their laughter as sauce for the humble pie before you were done with them.  Your projection does explain why I suddenly felt so much better, however. I just assumed it was because I’d found a haven.”

 Kurt shrugged sheepishly. “It was probably Bui’s that calmed you down. That place always smells delicious, and it’s dimly lit and sort of cozy in there. I can see why it would be a perfect place to get your bearings.”

 “Well, in any case, thank you for your help. My detour might have been a blessing in disguise, however. Mrs. Bui saw that I had a case of the collywobbles and you know how she is. Bustled me right over to sit and was pressing a hot cup into my hand, and a cool towel to my neck before I could suss out what was even happening.”

 “She’s a sweetheart,” Kurt agreed. The biggest reason he loved that tea shop was for its plump, ever smiling owner, who always gave him a cookie and a pinch on the cheek when he stopped in, as if Kurt was only five years old. The fact that he had to bend forward so that she could reach his face just made the gesture even more charming. To call Mrs. B five feet tall would be a generous fib.

 Adam nodded, taking another satisfied sip before setting the cup back down. “She is. We got to talking, and I found myself telling her all about us, and about my recent struggles, and how I was looking for employment but somewhat limited in what I could apply for. Next thing I knew I was being offered the chance to replace Steve.”

 “Her son?” Kurt said in surprise. Steven Bui was his widowed mother’s eldest and had been helping her create the special blend teas and coffees that made the shop stand out in a vast sea of similar businesses. “What happened to him?”

 “University,” Adam said. “It seems that Steve is a bit like yourself. Too stubborn to take no for an answer when his first application was denied. He brushed up his CV and tried again for the winter term at UCLA and he’s made it. Flew out to begin classes last week.”

 Kurt smiled and shook his head, somehow not at all surprised. “Good for him. Do you know anything about making tea, though?  I mean, you definitely drink enough of it to be a good taste-tester, but isn’t the blending process more complicated? Or do you just infuse a little potion-making and voila, instant deliciousness?”

 Adam laughed. “Mrs. B is a Standard, so that would be a bit of a cheat. I would go in as more of an apprentice, at least at first. I do know a little about the process, but I would be mostly ringing up customers and stocking inventory. Assuming I accept the job, of course. I still may get the position with Henderson Productions, which would certainly be more of a financial boon than working in a tea shop. There is also the problem that while I made it that far today, it doesn’t guarantee that I’ll be able to do it every day. I’m finding, unfortunately, that making progress against mental barriers isn’t quite as cut and dried as knocking through physical ones. The little bastards seem to rebuild themselves while I sleep. I went for a walk today in part because I found I couldn’t make myself go out onto that bloody balcony again. Previous success be damned.”

 “Progress is still progress,” Kurt told him. “You did it once, so now you know it’s achievable. And you will get there, Adam. It’s enough that you keep on trying, and learning to figure out what things will trigger the fear. Those roadblocks won’t stand a chance in the long run. As for Mrs. Bui, you said she offered you a job after you’d told her about your problem, so I don’t think she’s going to take it back if you find that you can’t bring yourself to come in every day.”

 Adam nodded. “At any rate, I told her I would have to wait and see how today’s interview works out before I could give a firm answer, since I have no idea what sort of schedule I’ll be keeping if it does. And there’s the matter of needing to devote adequate time to helping you train with the coven, and face down your ex. Then of course, there’s the very important matter of a wedding and honeymoon to consider!”

 Kurt beamed at the reminder. They had Skyped with Burt and Carole last night, and with Henry and June early this morning. Both families had been surprised but gratifyingly enthusiastic about the engagement. Henry had expressed some doubt that they could put a wedding together so quickly, but naturally Burt and Carole held no such reservations. “That reminds me. I told Isabelle our news when I dropped off that paperwork yesterday. I know we were going to wait until we’d told the families, but I was basically bursting to talk to someone who would be as excited as I was.”

 “I understand,” Adam said with a grin. “I may have spilled the news to Tanya yesterday when the Apples were over. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d be disappointed in my big mouth, but as yours was equally indiscreet, I no longer feel guilty.”

 He laughed. “Good, then neither do I. The important part here is that Isabelle called me back about an hour ago . . .”

 Recognizing a cue in the pregnant pause, Adam turned and offered his undivided attention. “Aaand?”

 Kurt bounced in place, clasping his hands underneath his chin in an adorable effort to contain his excitement. His shining eyes gave it away regardless. “And she’s offered us the use of The Ballroom for our reception!  Can you believe that? The  Ballroom!”

 Adam’s mouth fell open in honest amazement. He had only been to the company owned reception hall once before. The first time he and Kurt had dated, his boyfriend had been helping put together some sort of grand couture event that his boss was managing. The place was very popular for upper crust society bashes; presumably because it was beyond posh, with a price tag to match. “On Valentine’s Day? How on earth . . . ?”

 “I know!” he gushed, practically dancing in his chair. “It seems that being a managing editor at Vogue has its perks. There was some sort of event rescheduling today that left a 3 hour window open on the 14th. Isabelle heard the receptionist confirming the change and she snapped the slot up. She called once the change was confirmed and offered it to us as her wedding gift!  I’ve been on pins and needles ever since I got off the phone, trying not to leak my feelings to you and give the secret away. I didn’t want to distract you from your interview.”

 “Hang the interview, this is amazing!” Adam said. “Imagine telling people we had our wedding reception where celebrities and ambassadors have danced and dined! And with that much space, we can invite as many friends as we like with no worries.”

 Kurt’s enthusiasm dimmed, taking on an edge of concern as he said, “Maybe one worry. Are you sure you’ll be okay with a big space filled with dozens of people?  It won’t be like the Christmas party where we could slip away whenever we liked.  As the grooms, everyone’s attention is bound to be focused on us. Maybe I should call Isabelle.”

 Touched by his concern, and willingness to give up something he had doubtless dreamed about for years if it meant sparing Adam pain, he said, “No need for that. I’ll be so delirious with joy at having made you my husband that I doubt it would bother me if the entire cast of the Macy’s Parade were to show up demanding a slice of wedding cake.” They both laughed, imagining what that might look like. “And if I should have any difficulties, I’m certain that my dad will be happy to transport me, or both of us, out for a quick breather whenever it’s required.”

  “Good idea.” He kissed Adam’s lips, intending it as a quick reward for his forward thinking, but Adam responded with avid enjoyment and they were soon wrapped in each others arms for several wonderful minutes of making out.  Kurt’s elegant designer top and Adam’s shirt and tie quickly became lost over the back of the couch.

 Pausing to catch his breath and straighten what remained of his outfit after Adam had treated him to a very enthusiastic welcome home, Kurt said, “God, you should have a job interview every day if it makes you react like that!” Adam just laughed, making a show of slowly licking his lips. “Oh, Adam. The stars really seem to be aligning for us, don’t they?  It’s almost scary.  After so many years of everything going wrong, I’m a little freaked out to have everything suddenly going so right.”

 “Don’t be,” Adam suggested, getting up and dropping a kiss on Kurt’s forehead as he went to fetch each of them a warm jumper to wear, picking up their discarded garments from the floor as he went. It wouldn’t do to let their friends see the evidence. Not if they wanted to get through the evening without being teased to death. Tossing Kurt a fleecy blue garment, he tugged on a camel colored version of his own and continued, “Trouble comes when it will, barring the interference of those who force it upon us, but good times are precious and need to be celebrated. So for now, let’s just enjoy being in a happy spot and cherish our good fortune.”

 Kurt nodded, forcing himself to shake off the habit of anticipating the worst.  Pulling on his sweater, he said, “You’re right. After all, even the grayest clouds can turn out to have a silver lining. A bully can become a brother. An enemy can become a friend. And one of the worst years of your life can turn you down a path to meeting the love of your life.”

  “Exactly. And a crowd of faithless friends can lead one to a band of true and lasting comrades. Speaking of which.”

  “The coven is due around six,” Kurt agreed, catching his hint immediately. “And the snow isn’t going to slow them down, so we need to get going on dinner.”

 “As I’m sure your nose has already informed you, I’ve prepared two pans of lasagna; one with meat and one without. The bread is ready as well, but for garlic spread and a touch of baking.”

 “I’m a little disappointed. You haven’t left me anything to do.”

 Adam smiled. “You can toss the salad.  And as you’ve recently expressed an interest in building up your witchcraft skills, I thought you might enjoy a quick lesson in potion-stirring the garlic butter.”

 Kurt perked up at once. He had just spent a busy day at work and school, but this sounded like fun. Hopping up from the couch, he joined Adam in the kitchen and grabbed an apron. Not that he needed one just to make garlic bread, but it was habit to protect his clothing from any risk of kitchen spills. “I like it when you play teacher. What do we do?”

 “First of all, would you like to stir any particular variety of charm into it, or just have it be especially delicious?  I might suggest a simple tonic. It’s easy to create and garlic makes an excellent cold remedy even without magic. Add a bit of enhancement and one only needs a small dose of it become immune to cold and flu season.”

 “What happens if we just add enough charm to make it taste really good?”

 Adam laughed. “Then you have people eating you out of house and home.”

 “So, an average night with the gang then,” Kurt quipped with a smile. He picked up one of the garlic bulbs from a hanging basket of vegetables near the stove, looking at it uncertainly. “Are you sure about this?  Your cooking is always wonderful, but what if I try to create a good health charm and it makes the bread come out tasting like cough syrup?”

 Adam admitted, “That’s a valid concern. The first time I tried enchanting molasses, I infused too much raw magic into the blend and everything I made with it tasted like tar. Needless to say, I was forced to toss that batch.  However, I promise I won’t let any of our friends suffer if your initial potion doesn’t come out.”

 Kurt nodded, willing to accept that. “I’ll trust you. I already put my dad through the burned rubber phase when I was learning how to make quiche and I’d rather not repeat the experience with our friends.”

 “Self-taught, were we?” Adam inquired, a tender smile playing about his lips as he imagined a pint-sized Kurt with the same deadly serious face that his fiancé took on whenever he was concentrating on doing something difficult.

 “Yeah. I used my mom’s old cookbooks, plus I was kind of obsessed with the Cooking Channel when I was in middle-school.”  

 Adam cocked his head. “I still enjoy those programs. I’ve had a great opportunity to catch up with all the latest editions during my recovery. So let’s begin by softening and whipping a brick of butter to make it good and spreadable, then mince the garlic. We’ll add a bit of Italian seasoning and pepper when we mix it together. Just a hint of both to seal the flavor and enhance the charm.”

 “I think a cold remedy will be a good choice. It sounded like Johnny and Dani were a little under the weather when I called them. This might be a nice way to apologize for pushing everyone away recently.”

 Resisting the urge to remind Kurt that the coven was equally at fault, Adam just said, “I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. Remember the method we used at the holiday party to improve your boss’s crab cakes?” Kurt nodded. “We’re going to use a similar trick here, but first let’s get the salad out of the way. When that’s done, I need you to chop up a clove of garlic, very fine.”

 Kurt just nodded and went to work, chopping and mixing a variety of cold veggies with the efficiency of lifetime practice. Once it was done and waiting in his favorite salad bowl, he pulled out a cutting board and a sharp knife, quickly mincing a clove of garlic into tiny shards. “Is that small enough?”

 “Perfect. Now I want you to do the same thing with this dish of butter that you did when warming the crab cakes. Not too much. Just a hint of heat to make it spreadable.”

 Fine control of this power was one of the things that Kurt constantly struggled with, and his shoulders slumped when he tentatively willed a surge of heat into his palms, only to watch the rectangle of butter immediately dissolve into a pool of bubbling liquid.

 Adam was unperturbed by the mistake. “Not to worry, we’ve plenty more,” he said, taking away the first dish and placing a cold brick of butter into a new bowl. Setting it aside, he placed his right hand under Kurt’s left. “Take a deep breath. Find your center and concentrate on the shape and feel of the magic without activating it.”

 Seeing that Kurt was hesitant, Adam placed the pads of his left and middle index fingers against Kurt’s temple, guiding him to the place he needed him to go. It felt almost like a click when Kurt found what he was looking for.

 “Oh, this is kind of like when Brittany first taught me how to See potential!” Kurt said, closing his eyes and turning his Sight inward. “The first day I became linked with the coven.”

 “Exactly like that,” Adam told him, and though his voice remained calm and encouraging, Kurt felt a pulse of dismay echo down their link. He actively sent back a feeling of questioning. “You picked up the grounding of your power very quickly, but it’s clear to me now that no one told you that when you actively engage in spell casting, you need to find your center and work out from it. Otherwise the magic can become unstable and difficult to control. It also drains you more quickly. I feel like a fool for not recognizing the problem sooner.”

  “It’s okay, Adam. You’ve had a lot on your mind,” Kurt said quietly. “We all did. I think maybe everyone thought that I knew more than I did because they’ve been witches for so much longer, and most of us grew up together so they kind of assumed I had the same experiences they’d had. Then of course there’s what happened when I went into the Void.”

 He cocked his head. “Meaning?”

 “I used magic all the right ways that day, but it was mostly instinct and emotion. I followed Dani’s directions to reach you, but I’m just starting to realize how much I was using the link I had forged with the coven to guide me once I was in the Void. I’ve been thinking about this a lot since we talked. Once you started to get better, I tried to get back to magic lessons, but I couldn’t seem to do anything right. None of it made sense, and whenever I asked a question the answer didn’t make much sense either, and everyone . . . okay not everyone; mostly just Santana . . . acted like it was so self-explanatory that I felt really stupid. You said the other night that all my practice is paying off, but I’m not sure that’s true. I have gotten better at directing the power where I want it, but the levels are still hard to control, and I still can’t seem to help activating my thermal magic when I get upset. At least not consciously. I’m just lucky that I haven’t set it off in class, or at work!  And when I work with the coven, I can tell that they’re getting exasperated with my lack of progress. Or maybe it just feels that way because I get so frustrated with myself.  Lately, I’ve been thinking that I was having so much trouble because I wasn’t . . .”

 “What?” Adam said gently, reading embarrassment in Kurt’s sudden hesitation.

 He nearly mumbled the words, “That I wasn’t good enough. That I’m not really as Talented as everyone keeps telling me, and they just don’t know how to break it to me after all that build up about what a great witch I was supposed to be.”

 “And that was another part of the reason you’d started avoiding the coven,” Adam concluded.

 Kurt nodded tiredly. “Part of me is still afraid that they only stick around because we need to stop Blaine, and that once that’s over, I. . .” He paused, licking his lips to give himself a moment. This was difficult to admit. “I’ve never had a group of friends quite like this one, but the Glee Club came really close. New Directions was like a family, at least at first. I thought we had something special and lasting, but then they all dropped me as casually as a worn out pair of shoes. And it wasn’t only due to Blaine. Whenever I didn’t act the way they wanted me to act, or when someone more interesting came along, I was suddenly at the bottom of everyone’s best friend list. It happened over and over, and the more I tried to hang on to my friends, the more they took advantage of my willingness to do anything to keep them. In the end, it still didn’t matter. People leave me, Adam. They just do. Always have.”

 “And always will?” he finished, an expression of ineffable sadness filling his lean features. “Is that what you’ve been struggling with? You believe that because your high school friends were so unfortunately fickle, that the coven will be too?”

 He nodded meekly, hating to admit it but forcing himself to be honest. He cared too much about Adam, and knew that Adam cared too much about him, to hide his true fears anymore just to keep up a happy appearance.

 “Oh, darling. I’m sorry. Again, I see that I’ve been paying too much attention to my own issues at the expense of yours. Between losing your mum, nearly losing your dad twice in body and then again in spirit, the sudden death of your brother, your cheating fiancé, your best friends haring off to chase the lure of stardom . . .” He sighed. “And then there was me. Vanishing into thin air, then coming back only to be reluctant to start up an intimate relationship again. Yes, I can see exactly how you might feel that way.”

Kurt gulped, ducking his head. “It makes having faith in people hard for me sometimes.”

Adam took Kurt’s hands, dipping his chin to catch his beloved’s downcast eyes and encourage him to look up again. “I know it is. But I need you to make a leap of faith that things are different this time. I know it’s hard, because experience has taught you that you can’t depend on anyone to stand by you, but I believe I can speak on behalf of the coven when I say that we will not let you down in that way again. Including the members who were part of your high school group. I can’t promise no one will ever die. Time marches on, and that’s simply beyond mortal power to control, but as long as we do live I can promise that we’ll always be a part of your life and heart. I promise you, Kurt, that none of us are fair-weather friends.  I, for one, never have and never will never leave you by choice.”

 Kurt nodded and wrapped him in a fierce hug. “I know. I do know that,” he mumbled into Adam’s shoulder. “In my heart I do, but sometimes my head gets in the way. A nasty little voice starts whispering in my ear, and sometimes I can’t help listening to it. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. That’s one of the things I’ve been using my sessions with Janice to talk about.”

 “I’m glad of that,” Adam said, holding him in comforting arms, in no hurry to break the embrace. “She’s done me a lot of good, and I know she’ll do the same for you if you give her time and trust.”

 “I’ll try.” He pulled back to look into Adam’s face. Seeing the love and understanding shining in his eyes allowed him to find his smile again. “Leaps of faith aren’t exactly my specialty. They have a way of biting me in the ass, but I’ll take one for you, and for this coven because both of you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if things do get rough, well, I’ve never been afraid to work for the things I wanted.”

 Adam kissed him. “True, and that’s one of the things I love most about you. As for the coven, we’ll have a talk tonight and get everyone on the same page. I’ve a notion your magical studies will get a great deal easier after that. At least in the sense of not merely being an exercise in frustration.”

 “That’s good enough for me,” Kurt agreed. And it really was. Just hearing someone acknowledge his problem and take it seriously, proposing a workable solution rather than treating it like an imaginary issue that he should just get over so that they could take center stage again, made him feel a thousand times better already.

  “Good. As for anyone thinking you hadn’t the strength or talent for being a coven leader, you could not be more wrong. If anything, I believe the others have been assuming too much the other direction. Thinking they didn’t need to spend time on the dull but necessary basics because you showed such incredible instinct. I think they’ve been hesitant to push you in case you proved a bit too powerful. Hearing that you intend to take combat magic from trained professionals may just prove something of a relief.”

 A smile tugged at the corner of Kurt’s mouth. “Someone told you about the exploding canary, didn’t they?”

 “They might have done,” Adam admitted with a chuckle. “Is it true that LT and Elliott both hid underneath the couch?”

 “Yes, and everyone else ducked behind it,” Kurt remembered, the remains of his bad mood dissipating at the memory of his friends diving for cover. “It was pretty funny.”

 “I wish I’d seen it.” Adam considered for a moment. “As for your magic, I think we should ask Elliott if he’d mind staying with us for a time. He really ought to be taking point on your training and that will allow the two of you to spend more time together.”

 “Why Elliott?”

 “Because he’s your Familiar,” Adam said, as if it were self-explanatory. Seeing Kurt’s blank look, he ventured, “Didn’t anyone explain what that means?”

 Fighting the desire to roll his eyes, Kurt said, “Apparently not.”

 Adam considered that, and then shrugged. “No matter. This is as good a place as any to restart your elementary witchcraft lessons. A Familiar is a very rare creature, and the bond between Familiar and Witch is a deep and special one. Coven leaders, witches who need special training, witches who have no human to appropriately guide them in the use of their power; these are the ones who typically attract a Familiar. It was almost inevitable that you would partner with one.”

 “Wait, are you telling me that Elliott auditioned for my band because he was planning to become my Familiar one day?” Kurt said, astonished. He took a seat on one of the tall kitchen bar stools and pulled a pad of paper and a pen from one of the drawers built into the cabinet. He jotted down ‘Lesson 1 – Familiars’ and then made a quick note of what Adam was telling him. If he was going to become a dedicated student of magic, he was going to do it right, and Kurt Hummel had always been a dedicated note-taker in class. “I remember him telling me that he came to New York to be part of my band, but I thought he just meant that he wanted to be part of one that was just starting out. That’s more or less what he told me.”

 Adam smiled. “I’m sure that the band was an attractive component in itself, given his musical proclivities, but it’s not as if he was going to introduce himself with, ‘Hi, I’m Elliott. I spend half my life as a cat and I’d like to be yours!’ You’d have assumed he was either barmy or that he fancied you.”

 “Those two things are not always mutually exclusive,” Kurt agreed with a wry smile.

 “True, especially as I recall my own embarrassingly enthusiastic sales pitch on the day we first met,” Adam laughed. “Your talent as a singer is more than enough to attract admirers, but the band audition probably presented Elliott with an ideal opportunity to get a close-up impression of you without attracting attention.”

 With a snort of amusement, Kurt said, “Right. Steam-punk glasses, a top hat, leather outfit that he made a point of telling me he designed himself, sky-high platform boots, about three pounds of glitter, and swinging from a chandelier. That was the kind of ‘not attracting attention’ that Starchild felt would make a decent first impression. And I suppose it worked since that outfit is still burned into my retinas, but I was so freaked out and convinced that he wanted to take over what I was trying to build that I basically told him to get lost. Luckily he didn’t listen to me.”

 “He never told me that,” Adam chuckled. “Still, once you did meet face to face, he would have known for certain whether he was meant to be a part of your life. A pure-bred cat Familiar like Tubbington chooses their own charge. A human Animagus like Elliott has the instinctive need to bond, and becomes attracted by the magical signature of their particular witch. A feline homing instinct, if you will.”

 “So in a way, Elliott and I were sort of born to be good friends,” Kurt said, finding that idea both pleasing and a little scary. He quickly jotted down this new information. “I’m guessing that a witch who attracts a Familiar is typically trained in magic by them. Do they get something in return from us? I hope the answer is yes, because otherwise this feels pretty selfish.”

 Adam smiled, a bit wistfully. “Indeed they do. It benefits your Familiar greatly to spend time with you. You provide them with affection, emotional stability, and a sense of connection. Being a part of a coven is important, but the connection the two of you share together is deeper and more personal. Or at least it’s meant to be. It should ideally be something like the emotional bond you share with me. I don’t fully understand the particulars myself. You’d have to ask one of the cats, but it seems to satisfy some inner craving in a Familiar to have frequent physical contact and plenty of opportunities to help his charge.”

  Kurt’s voice was quiet as he said, “So . . . when he offered to Transport me to and from work, Elliott was really asking to spend more time with me. And I refused because I thought I was putting him out, when in reality I was denying him the closeness he needed. Oh, Adam, why didn’t he tell me? He must have seen that I didn’t understand.”

“It may have been a mutual misunderstanding. You thought you were putting him out, and he may have feared that he was crowding you. Don’t forget, Elliott is still new to this relationship as well. I wouldn’t worry. I’m sure he hasn’t held it against you,” Adam said kindly. “Familiars aren’t quite like ordinary witches. They live a long time, barring accident or injury. That old saw about cats having nine lives was undoubtedly based upon them. Tubbington is considerably older than any of us, I suspect. I do know that he was bonded to Brittany’s grandmother before her, and that he’s now chosen to expand his protection to Santana.”

 “And to the rest of us.”

  “Correct.” Adam agreed, eyes twinkling. “I believe he sees the lot of us as unruly kittens in need of a firm paw. Plus he’s more or less mentoring Elliott, who is quite as young as he seems.”

 “Why didn’t I know any of this?” Kurt complained, annoyed. “It seems like these are things somebody should have clued me into if I’m really supposed to be the coven leader.”

 “I suppose the right time just never presented itself.”

 Scrubbing a hand over his face in an effort not to start yelling, Kurt blew out a tense breath. “That’s definitely something that’s going on the list to talk to the others about. If the right time doesn’t ‘present itself’ then they should frigging well put up with the awkward! For crying out loud, Tubbington stayed with me an entire week when Brittany was out of town, right before we went searching for you. It seems like he could have found a minute in there somewhere between raiding my cupboards and binge watching my Netflix to tell me some of this.”

 “Agreed, though perhaps that’s another thing you were meant to be learning from Elliott. You’re a new witch, but I don’t believe any of you lot have ever had much experience with covens before now. I have, because my family is massive and we have connections to at least half a dozen covens. Oh, you smile darling, but my parents’ little brood of four practically made them the childless couple of the clan. One can hardly toss a rock back home without hitting a Crawford or one of our many offshoots.” 

“You should know, you’re making me very curious to see your home town,” Kurt said with a grin. “I bet they’ll throw a parade if you dare to show your face back there after being gone so long.”

Adam looked a trifle disturbed by that idea. “Hmm. They might at that. At any rate, what I was trying to say is that you should give yourself, and the others, some slack and try to enjoy this new experience. Meanwhile, I’ll speak to Tubbington about being a little less circumspect with his knowledge. As for Elliott, I want you to spend time with him. It’s important that you two bond as much as possible, though I am here and now drawing a line against his accompanying us on our honeymoon.”

 Kurt laughed. “Agreed. You’re sure it won’t bother you, though? That Elliott won’t have the same Witch/Familiar bond with you that he has with me?”

 Knowing enough about Kurt’s relationship history to know what he was really saying, Adam said, “No, darling. I’ve known many cats in my life and though we’ve always got along well, to this point none have ever chosen me for a bonding, and I’m all right with that. As I told you, it’s a rare thing. The fact that you have been chosen just makes you even more special in my eyes.”

 Kurt heaved a contented and audibly relieved sigh. He had had too much experience with people who only seemed able to be happy for him, or supportive of him, if there was something in it for them. He was getting used to it, but it still caught him off guard sometimes when Adam would freely offer no-strings support. “Thank you. And if you want one, I’ll be happy to find a nice non-magical kitten that can be yours alone. It can be one of my bonding projects with Elliott. He loves kittens.”

 Adam laughed. “Thank you. I may take you up on that one day.” Letting him go, he picked up the butter dish again and placed in Kurt’s hands. “So, back to work. Hold this in your hand, center on just the individual thread that is connected to heat. I’ve realized that the last time we did this, I simply guided you to the correct place without showing you how to find it. So this time I want you to see and feel it for yourself. Separate your Talents like picking out one particular voice section in a choir.”

 Eyes closed, Kurt did as he was told. His magical energies were usually something he viewed as a whole. He found that thinking of them in terms of a choir helped a great deal. He was able to relate this lesson back to the one Dani had given about separating singing from spell-casting, and he remembered something else he had been told early on; that nearly all witches seemed to be musical in some way. Music was something he had always been able to understand. “That’s it,” said Adam, as he felt Kurt relax. “Now, what do you feel?”

  Kurt considered how best to describe it. “The kinetic magic that I use to move things and levitate is the ‘loudest’ part,” he said. “The melody, I suppose you might call it. I can touch that with hardly any effort at all. I’ve noticed before that moving things has gotten a lot easier the more I’ve grown used to having the ability.”

 “Undoubtedly your primary power,” Adam observed. “What else?”

 “The thermal is probably the next strongest. Now that I’m looking at it next to the kinetic, it kind of reminds me of when Rachel and I used to compete for solos. Both wanting to be noticed, but only one getting all the attention.”

 Adam laughed. “So moving things about is your Rachel power, and setting things alight is your Kurt power, eh? That may be a good way for you to think of them. It also may explain why you tend to ignite things when the frustration builds. One can only take so much rubbing the wrong way before they explode.”

 Opening his eyes again, Kurt rolled them at his grinning fiancé. “Oh, ha ha. What does that make my transference magic that I use to change clothes?”

 “Well, the power is understated, unique, and quite spectacular when you choose to show it off. What was the name of that friend of yours? The one you said always got overlooked until it was time for the big power note?”

 Kurt laughed. “The Mercedes power?  I like it! And I think she’d like knowing that she’s finally been put in charge of my wardrobe.”

 “Add in a few minor dribs and drabs, like potion making and your power of Sight, and you have a very fine choir of internal magics,” Adams told him, liking this analogy more and more as he noticed how comfortable Kurt was with it. “But unlike your daft choir master, this time you get to be in charge of who gets which solo, and when.”

 Following Adam’s instruction carefully as he showed him how to draw forth just a hint of well controlled power, Kurt activated his thermal magic, watching with delight as the butter in the dish obligingly softened around the edges, becoming creamy rather than melting into liquid.

 Adam made a satisfied sound in his throat, and picked up Kurt’s free hand to hold it over the fragrant garlic bits. “Excellent. Now keep the butter just at that state, then reach into the garlic and feel its essence,” he said quietly. “Imagine the plant as nourishing and full of good health, then draw that quality forward. Sort of coax it into being its best self.”

 It was hard to imbue personality into a few bits of garlic, but Kurt tried his best. It was difficult but when he turned on his Sight at Adam’s command, he was surprised to see the garlic take on a soft golden glow. What’s more, it suddenly looked mouth-watering.

 “Very good. Now just add the garlic to the butter and we’ll seal our charm with a sprinkle of spice,” Adam said, singing a few soft wordless notes over their concoction as Kurt stirred it together. The butter suddenly ‘flashed’ in Kurt’s Sight, startling him so much he nearly dropped the dish. Having expected the reaction, Adam steadied him before their experiment could end in disaster. “And there we go. All done but for spreading it over our bread and baking it in.”

 “That’s it? So it’s . . .?” Kurt said, blinking his vision back to normal and gesturing curiously toward the innocent looking spread.

 Adam took a tiny swipe of butter onto the tip of his index finger and held it out with a smile. “Yes, indeed. Taste for yourself.” Kurt obeyed, wrapping his lips around the end of Adam’s finger and sipping off the butter, just slowly enough to make his pupils dilate. Adam cleared his throat. “What do you think?”

 “Delicious,” Kurt said, teasing a bit. Then his brow furrowed as he licked his lips and realized, “Actually it really is. It tastes fantastic.”

 Blue eyes twinkling, Adam said, “How’s the blocked nose?”

 “How did you know I had . . . ? Whoa. Adam, it’s gone!”

 Adam grinned brightly at his astonishment. “You sounded a bit snuffly when you first got home. And now I’ll bet you’re right as rain.”

 Kurt pulled a deep breath in through his nose. Winter colds were such an average occurrence that he had barely noticed how little air he was getting before. “That’s amazing. You could totally corner the pharmaceutical market with this stuff.”

 He laughed. “If it wouldn’t be a complete violation of secrecy and ethics, I might. But you certainly did your share. I guided the power and spoke the necessary incantation, but the rest was all you. You did very well at your first potion, and I’m proud of you.”

 “Thanks,” he said with a grin. Kurt personally felt a bit doubtful that he had really done anything, given that Adam had sung the spell that bound it all together, but it was nice to know that he might be able to do something similar one day. He glanced at the clock. “Oh, gosh!  The others will be here any minute!”

 As if conjured by the thought, a knock sounded on the front door. Kurt recognized the signatures of his friends as they touched the wards. He unlocked the entrance with a thought and yelled, “Door’s open. Come on in!”

 The others piled in, the entire coven having arrived en mass; Dani, Elliott, Santana, Monica, Johnny, and finally Brittany.

 “Hey guys. Something smells great!” Johnny greeted as he and Dani both passed over bottles of wine they had brought to complement dinner. “You said we were having pasta. I hope this is okay.”

 “It’s perfect, thanks. Welcome everyone!” Kurt said, accepting the offering with a hug of greeting for each of them. Noticing how cold the embraces were, and how much snow was covering coats and hats, it was obvious that the group had not used any teleportation magic to get here tonight, “Is the storm getting any worse?”

 Brittany, who had been looking oddly as if she were pregnant, opened her long overcoat and presented Lord Tubbington, who she set on the sofa before moving to give the hosting couple a warm hug. LT seemed disinclined to change to his human form right away, just stretching and yawning as he hopped up on the couch-back to observe the fun. “It’s pretty windy and we only have a couple of inches so far,” she said, taking off the coat, “but we’re in for a big blizzard, so we’ll stay the night with you. I brought pajamas for everyone so we can have a sleep-over. I got you purple ones so you can wear your new hat with them if you want! I bet you’ll look super cute. And also sexy, so Adam will want to keep you warm tonight.”

 “He already has been if my Spidey-senses don’t deceive me,” Santana noted, taking off her scarf and looping it around Kurt’s neck to tug him closer. She looked into his surprised eyes and said, “Oh, yeah, our baby is finally getting some back!”

 Kurt shoved his cackling ex-roommate away with a blush. “I never should have told you about Adam singing me that song.”

 “Notice he’s not denying your observation, though!” Dani teased. She gave Adam’s rear a little squeeze in passing that had him yelping in surprise. “Good job, gorgeous.”

 Needing to change the subject, Kurt looked to Monica for a distraction. “Are we really expecting a blizzard tonight?”

 She nodded. “At least a couple of days. I’d say closer to three.”

 “In that case, I’d better email the script revision Maggie asked for tonight, and get any homework assignments the professors might have put up on the NYADA website, just in case we lose power,” Kurt said, not questioning her prediction. Along with metallurgy and scrying, Monica was more reliable than a meteorologist at forecasting the weather. “Um, by the way. Not that you guys aren’t welcome, but why exactly do you need to stay here tonight? Between Elliott and Santana, you can all get home safely no matter what the weather conditions are.”

 “Where would be the fun in that?” Santana demanded. She grabbed a grocery bag out of Elliott’s hand and shoved it at Kurt. “This is Hummel coven bonding night, right? So why not make it last! And since you’re doing all of the cooking tonight, we brought dessert. Hope you guys still like B and J.”

 Kurt opened the bag to show Adam at least a dozen different small containers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. “We’re about to have a blizzard and you got ice cream?”

 She hopped up on one of the kitchen stools. “Sure, why not?  We didn’t know what flavor you guys would want, so we bought a couple of everything they had in the freezer case.”

 “Well I think both sleep-over and ice cream are excellent ideas,” Adam said, looking at a tub of Phish Food with a covetous glint in his eye. “And the wine will go perfectly with lasagna. Thank you all for the additions. Kurt and I were just making up some garlic bread, so dinner will be ready in a trice.”

 “Hope that means soon,” LT said, projecting his mental voice to the room.

 Kurt grinned. “It does. Should be ready in just a few minutes. Adam and I made a good-health charm for it, so it anyone is feeling under the weather this should help.”

 Dani immediately looked interested and came around to examine the bowl of garlic spread. “May I?”

 “Please,” Adam invited, smiling proudly at Kurt when the girl used a spoon to take a tiny dab of butter and taste it, promptly following with a deep uncongested breath of relief.

 “Wow, this is good stuff,” she approved. “Like, hundred proof cold medicine!”

 Kurt was a little concerned, “Too strong?”

 “No way!  Johnny, you need to try some of this.”

 As Johnny came over to get a taste, Adam said, “Go ahead, but don’t eat too much of it. We still need enough to cover the garlic toast. It’s strong because it’s in pure form. Once it’s baked into the bread the potency will lessen a bit, but it will still be good for curing any wintertime sniffles.”

 As Adam quickly moved to rescue the enhanced butter and get it added to the bread before his greedy friends could sample it all away, Kurt pulled Elliott aside for a private word.

 “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant with you,” he blurted. “I’ve had a lot on my mind and I didn’t know that I was pushing you away when I refused your help with getting to and from places. You’re my friend and my Familiar, and I want you to know that I appreciate both of those things. And if you want to hang out more, or do things together more often, I would like that.  Magical or non-magical, because Adam thinks that we really need more of both, and I agree with him, and he also thinks you should stay with us until the wedding so that you and I can develop a proper Witch-Familiar bond.”

 Elliott looked startled by this quick burst of contrition. Then his usual bright grin appeared and he wrapped his long arms around Kurt to give him a back-thumping hug. “I’ve missed you too, buddy,” he said, not a trace of hurt or anger in his voice. “Of course we can do more together. You’re my witch, Kurt, so I’m always here for you. And did you just say wedding?”

 “Oh. Oops, I hadn’t meant to spill the beans that soon,” Kurt said with a surprised laugh. He’d been in a hurry to get everything out and hadn’t even realized. “But yes. I asked him a couple of days ago and he said yes. We’ve decided to get married on Valentine’s Day and I’d really like it if you’d agree to be my best man. Or best cat! We can make you a tiny top hat and a sparkly tie if you prefer it that way.”

 The taller man burst out laughing. “That could be super fun, just to see the looks on your other guests’ faces! But naw, man. I’m honored and I would love to. And for you, I’ll do the traditional human in a tux routine, or whatever you want me to do.  I’ll even whisk you away to whatever honeymoon destination you choose, airplane free, as my wedding gift. That’s what being a Familiar is all about. Well, that and being your magical guide.”

 “I’m just now learning what that really means,” Kurt admitted. “I have a few things to talk to all of you guys about tonight. Some important changes that need to happen if we’re all going to be happy and successful as a coven, but first I really need to make sure that you know how much I love and appreciate you and all that you do for me. Before any of this witch stuff happened, you were my best friend, Elliott. I don’t want that to change just because I have different commitments now.”

 “I love you too, man, and nothing is going to change that.” He looked at Adam, who was now engaged in a game of self - defense with his butter spatula as he laughed and struggled to get the pan of garlic bread into the oven unmolested. “He’s a good guy, and I’m really happy that you two found each other again. Speaking of which, you both seem unusually relaxed tonight. Santana was right about you two, wasn’t she?”

 Kurt could not help the silly grin that spread across his face. He nodded. “A couple of days now, and it’s every bit as wonderful as I knew it would be.”

 “Aww, congratulations! On everything, not just the sex, but definitely congrats on that too.”

 He folded his laughing friend into another enthusiastic hug, and when he let go, Kurt was startled to see LT in his newly changed human form standing right next to them. “Mazel tov, kid,” the large man said, clapping one pudgy hand on Kurt’s back and rubbing his fingers over the surface in a way that reminded Kurt of a kneading paw. “You’re a big commitment kind of guy, as taking on all of us kooky hairballs goes to show. You and Adam feel right together, and I believe that you’re doing the right thing by making it official.”

 “Thank you, Lord Tubbington,” he said, not quite sure why he felt an instinctive need to be so formal. Perhaps it was because the man/cat was being completely serious for once. “That means a lot.”

 Suddenly, a squeal from Dani rent the air and probably nearly burst poor Adam’s eardrum since she was now hugging him with all her might. Monica and Johnny were grinning like proud parents and clapping him on the back.

 “I think Adam may have just spread the news,” Kurt laughed, not minding at all, especially when Brittany and Santana instantly ran to embrace him, Santana nearly choking him to death with the ferocity of her hug.

 “Good job, lady-face,” she said, sounding a little choked up, though she attempted to pretend like she was not tearing up by quickly dashing away the moisture as she moved over to give Brittany a turn. “And good riddance to that last sham of an engagement. Consider it the disastrous rehearsal dinner that you’re supposed to have before the perfect wedding day. Please tell me you’re going to use a High Magic Day for the ceremonies?”

 Kurt grinned. “Valentine’s Day!”

 She made a face. “Seriously? Ballads, and flowers, and cupid vomiting pink and white hearts all over everything? Although now that I say it out loud, that does sound like your kind of day. Still, hasn’t that holiday been kind of cursed for you, between Gorilla Boy, and the Schuester-Pillsbury cold-feet-o-rama, in which you were injected with loser venom by the walking grease-gun?”

 Kurt rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the reminders. But that’s kind of the point. Adam knows I’ve never had a decent Valentine’s Day and he suggested we sort of redeem the holiday by making it our own. And you can’t deny that the level of positive feeling in the air created by all those expressions of love will make this the ideal High Magic Day.”

 “He’s right,” Brittany told her girlfriend. “You know that’s why it’s one of the most popular days for the commitment ceremony, as well as weddings. I think it’s a great choice, Kurt.”

 “Commitment ceremony?” Kurt repeated, realizing that Santana had also mentioned ‘ceremonies’ in plural. “What’s that?”

 Brittany clapped her hands like a little girl. “That’s right! You’ve never been to one before! It’s a magical ceremony performed around the two of you by your family and best friends. It reinforces the connection you and Adam share, and the love we all feel for the two of you. It’s a spiritual wedding, different from a legal one.”

 “Think Pagans,” Elliott told him. “The rite stems from centuries ago. It involves some ancient incantations and a couple of rituals to invoke luck and love, and to celebrate your strength as a committed couple. And don’t worry, it’s not a religious ceremony in the modern sense. We invoke the elements and the spirits, not God.”

 “That sounds really nice,” Kurt decided, appreciating that Elliott knew him well enough to respect of his atheist beliefs. “And I’m actually glad that we have a way to celebrate as witches, since the actual wedding reception will have both magical and Standard guests. I haven’t sent out any invitations yet, but my boss has given us The Ballroom for our reception and I want to invite pretty much everyone I know to celebrate with us!”

 He laughed, feeling giddy at the thought. The others made impressed noises at the news that Kurt and Adam’s party would be held in such a venue, immediately offering their services as decoration committee.

 The rest of the coven danced over to offer their own hugs and congratulations to Kurt, as Elliott, Brittany, Santana, and LT did the same for Adam.

 “You’ve got the reception booked, but what about the wedding?” Johnny asked. “Are you just going to sign some papers for a judge, or have an actual ceremony with an officiant?”

 Kurt and Adam looked at each other, question in their eyes. Given the short planning time, they had thought to just ask Adam’s father to whisk them to the courthouse for a quick service in front of the grooms’ two families. They shared this plan, bracing themselves for reactions of disappointment, but to their surprise and relief, the coven was completely on board.

 “Great idea,” Tubbington approved. “That way you can get married without a lot of people telling you how you should do it. If you want, we’ll come to the courthouse to watch. Or we can just greet you at the reception hall with a big fanfare of ‘Here Comes the Groom’. Then it’s party time!”

 “That’s the part everyone shows up for anyway,” Santana agreed practically. “Cake, dancing, free food, booze, embarrassing toasts from your friends . . .”

 The wicked gleam in her eyes left little doubt as to which part she was volunteering to provide.

 “I can take care of the food,” Dani offered.

 Johnny chimed in, “I have an uncle who owns a bakery in Midtown. He’s from the Standard side of the family but he knows all about us. He totally owes me a favor for some space savings and oven efficiency spells I did on his store when he first opened the place. You’ll have the best wedding cake ever. He does some beautiful three tier cakes, unless you need more. What flavors do you want?”

 They grinned at each other and Adam said, “Three will be wonderful, and thank you mate. As for the flavors, what do you say to a vanilla base, a champagne middle, and a chocolate cheesecake top layer?”

 Kurt’s eyes gleamed with approval. “Yum!”

 “Sure,” Johnny said, pulling out his phone and sending a text to his uncle without delay.  For Valentine’s Day, ordering early would be vital, favor or not.  He received a chime back almost at once, showing it to his friends with a grin. It said, ‘Glad to!  For all the $$$ you’ve saved me, your friends can even have an extra layer of white cake.’ “What do you think?”

 “Sold,” Kurt said happily.

 Brittany offered to conjure up as many flowers as they liked, and Monica and Elliott both had some connections on champagne and other liquor from past jobs they had worked. It wouldn’t be free, but given how many other expenses had just vanished from his planned budget, Kurt had no problem with that.

 “You guys are amazing,” he told them. “And I’m really sorry I’ve been so stand-offish lately. I’ve been avoiding you instead of talking to you, and now I’m realizing how stupid that really was.”

 The oven timer dinged just at that moment and Adam suggested, “Why don’t we all get our supper dished up and eaten. Kurt and I have some things to discuss with you lot, and I think that conversation would best be had over full stomachs.”

 “Agreed,” Tubbington said at once, already heading for the kitchen. In his view, everything was best done over a full stomach.

 The others curiously followed, but held their questions. Soon all nine of them had full plates in front of them and were gathered around the dining room table. Conveniently large enough to accommodate them all, complete with chairs, courtesy of Johnny and Brittany who used an expansion spell and a conjuring spell, respectively.

 Food, wine, bread, and salad were enthusiastically consumed with many compliments, and it was not until the dishes were washed and everyone was gathered again in the living room with pajamas on (except for LT, who had chosen to resume his natural form instead), that Adam broached the topic that most concerned him.

 “It has recently come to my attention that we, and I decidedly do include myself in that, have bollixed up Kurt’s magical training to a shameful degree,” he began. He held up a hand to stop the immediate babble of protest that rose up. “Did you know that Kurt was unaware that he needed to find his magical center and separate the individual Talents before performing complex spells? Or that one needs to weave power and spells together when creating a potion?”

 They all fell silent, looking at one another in surprise.

 “He also was unaware until this evening exactly what having a Familiar entailed, including the fact that they’re meant to be spending extra time together to cement their bond,” Adam continued. He met each pair of shame filled eyes squarely, reaching to his side to take hold of his fiancé’s hand. “Each of us has assumed that someone else was showing him the ropes, that he knew the basics of witchcraft simply because he was using it somewhat effectively. As we’ve all noted more than once, Kurt has enormous power at his disposal, but we’ve essentially left a powder keg sitting next to a lit furnace. There’ve been some complaints that we aren’t moving fast enough to confront Blaine, but what happens if Kurt goes to face him having little more idea than his enemy does of how to control his power?”

 Elliott winced. “Kablooey.”

 Adam nodded. “Precisely. Someone will get hurt, and if we’re lucky, that someone won’t be our own coven leader. He’s had dribs and drabs of training. How to See, how to separate normal singing from casting a spell, how to recognize and differentiate one power from another, but it’s like having a lot of individual cooking ingredients with no earthly idea how to blend them into an edible recipe.”

 “We’ve been expecting gourmet meals from somebody who’d never even seen a spice-rack before we met,” Dani concluded with a self-directed grimace. “Shit.”

 “And I thought you needed space to take care of Adam, so I’ve given you so much space that you’re on a different planet,” Elliott concluded, wrapping his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and giving him an apologetic squeeze. “Man, I’m sorry.”

 Monica, who was sitting on the coffee table, reached out and squeezed Kurt’s free hand. “Sweetie, why didn’t you tell us you were struggling so much?  I agree, this is totally our bad, but if you were completely lost why didn’t you tell us? You’re our coven leader, as well as our friend. It’s our job and our duty to help you when you need it.”

 Kurt was blushing furiously by now. This was necessary, and would hopefully be very helpful in the future, but for now he just felt embarrassed. “I . . . I guess I didn’t really know that either. You all have had magic for years. Most of you grew up with it, and have been surrounded by it all your lives even before you could use it yourself. I didn’t even know witches were a real thing until a few months ago. I guess I should have said something, but I just felt more and more lost and stupid.”

 “It’s hard to know what you need to know, when you don’t already know what you don’t know,” Johnny said wisely, holding his serious expression for a moment as everyone turned confused eyes on him. Then he grinned and said, “Y’know?”

 The entire group laughed, easing the tension considerably.

 “So basically, what you’re telling us is that we’re all a bunch of dumb-asses and Kurt isn’t the only one who needs to go back to the beginning,” Santana concluded with a wry smile. She and Brittany were sharing the love-seat, Santana stretched across her girlfriend’s lap, with Tubbington comfortably lounging on her. Unable to get up, she formed a fist and aimed a little force-field at Kurt to give him a long distance punch to the arm. “Noted and painfully accepted. Jesus, can you imagine what Coach Sylvester would have said if one of us had showed up for Nationals after having skipped nearly every practice that season?”

 “You think this is hard?” Brittany barked. “Try building a squad of assassins from a kindergarten class! That’s hard! And also? Get off my squad before the stench of mediocrity kills us all.”

 All of the former McKinley students cracked up, while the others just looked at each other in confusion, then shrugged, realizing you probably had to have been there.

 Adam continued. “The good news is that we’ve discovered the difficulty before too much harm was done, so we can still take steps to remedy it. Our first step is to invite Elliott to stay with us and give Kurt some one on one instruction whenever he’s free of other commitments.”

 “He’s already invited me,” Elliott said with a nod, “and I’m totally up for it.  I promise I won’t get in the way, and I won’t sleep on your bed unless I know you’re not, uh . . .  otherwise occupied.”

 His teasing grin earned him a smile and a quick elbow to the ribs from his blushing best friend.

 Adam cleared his throat loudly. “Ahem, at any rate, that’s taken care of. Secondly, I have recently begun looking for employment and I have a couple of promising prospects. If that goes well, it will free up more of Kurt’s time, as well as giving him relief from being our sole financial provider.”

 There were several interested questions at that, and Adam quickly explained what had been happening since they last met.

 “I gave my notice at the diner,” Kurt added, drawing a look of approval from Adam and surprise from the others. “I can’t keep up with all my commitments, including devoting more time to my magic, if I’m going to be a good friend or a good leader. Plus, I’m taking on a TA position with Cassandra July next semester at school, and hopefully devoting a few hours a week to combat magic with Troy and other jocks. I talked to him briefly today and he said he’ll check his schedule and help me work something out.”

 “Kurt feels that he needs to learn combative spells, including self-defense against magical attacks, before we proceed against his ex,” Adam said.

 LT nodded his head. “Smart thinkin’, Junior. Wild witches are hard to predict, even at their most innocent, and this one is anything but. With all that local power to steal from his brainwashed friends and little birdie buddies, he’s both dangerous and potentially clueless. I’m pretty sure sending Adam to the void was a complete fuck-up rather than a calculated move, and who even knows if that was an isolated incident or not. Building up your defenses is smart, and so is getting that training from an outside source that won’t be afraid to smack you around a little.”

 “That’s what Adam thought too,” Kurt said ruefully.

 He shrugged one furry shoulder. “Best way to learn, kid. Blaine ain’t gonna be giving you pats on the head if things get serious.”

 Kurt agreed, “I know. He came at my head with a bo staff in Stage Combat class just three weeks after I’d gotten out of the hospital with a skull fracture, and that was when we were supposed to be in love. I’m not taking any chances.”

 Unhappy expressions crossed every face at this news. Dani lifted her hand, catching Kurt’s attention, then formed a tiny ice sculpture of Blaine Anderson in her palm, which she then pointedly crushed into powder. This wordless show of support warmed his heart.  

 Feeling like everything was finally traveling down the right road again, Kurt told them, “In addition to the magical training, it would be good for me and for all of us as a group, to spend more time doing things together that are unrelated to being witches. I’ve . . . well, I’ve kind of been feeling lately that nobody else cared about that side of our friendship. We never have band practice anymore, or go to a movie, or just have an evening like this one that’s about having fun just being together.  I’ve really missed you guys.”

 Monica launched herself across the space between sofa and table and hugged him. Elliott joined in, then Dani, and soon all of them had formed a laughing, tearful dog-pile of witches, with Kurt in the center.

 “You and me, hot dogs in the park next week,” Tubbington offered, transforming to his human self long enough to ruffle Kurt’s hair before switching back and flouncing out of the room on a mission towards Kurt and Adam’s comfortable bed. “Have a good night, kiddos. Save me some sausage and waffles in the morning.”

 They all laughed, yelling goodnight to their retreating mentor. Taking his cue, the visitors took a few minutes to make up places to sleep, pushing back the furniture and making a cozy circle after Brittany helpfully whisked in the sleeping bags and air beds she had bought but left at her and Santana’s apartment. Kurt and Adam mutually decided to stay out here and join the others, leaving their room to the no doubt already slumbering cat.

 “I really am sorry we let things get so far out of hand,” Dani said quietly to Kurt as the two of them spread blankets atop one of the air beds. “We’ll make up a rotation so that everyone can share magical knowledge as our schedules match up. And you and I are totally on for mani-pedi day once this storm clears up. Okay?”

 “Count me in for that!” Monica offered with a grin, “And we should totally schedule in band practice once or twice a week. We can do it for fun, but One Three Hill needs to book some paying gigs, man!”

 Elliott held up a hand and dipped his head, shaking his hand like he was attending a revival meeting, “Amen, sister.”

 Kurt laughed. “Let’s start with the band practice, then figure out the other once things cool down, okay? My show at the Lexington is coming up in only two weeks, so I need to devote my spare time to that for now. Plus, I still haven’t come up with a song for my mid-winter critique.”

 “We can totally help with that,” Brittany offered. “We’ve got three days until the blizzard clears.  We can come up with choreo for you!  Oh, unless that cranky turban lady is judging you again. She didn’t seem to like our first performance, even though you wore the hot gold pants.”

 “The dick framers?” Santana asked, looking interested. “You never told me you wore those for your NYADA audition. And Tight-ass Tibideaux still rejected you? I thought she was straight.”

 Kurt shrugged. “She has three ex husbands, but maybe that’s the problem.”

 “Those gold pants definitely would have won my vote,” Adam murmured, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s middle as he came up behind him and kissed his neck. “I’ve seen the photos.”

 Hugging those arms, Kurt looked around the room at his busy, laughing, chattering coven. The future suddenly felt a great deal brighter.  He did not know why he had been so worried about talking to these people for so long. This coven was not like his fickle friends of the past. Not even the members who had been a part of that past. They, like Kurt himself, had grown up and changed for the better.

 He smiled.  He would take that leap of faith and believe that they would continue to move forward together.

 “Who wants ice cream?”

 THE END

[entergamingxp]

Someone should make a game about: Seagulls • Eurogamer.net

As a Brighton boy, I grew up with seagulls. They didn’t raise me, that would be weird, but they lived in the chimneys all around me and their barking is part of a comforting cacophony I like to call home.

It always surprises me when other people are surprised by the seagulls. My dad’s from London originally and when his friends would call the house phone they’d be all like, “bloody hell Bas what’s that noise?” It was old Steven Seagull, of course, chirruping like an angel on the roof outside.

A beautiful seagull on a van outside my flat. Majestic!

Except, they’re not angels are they? Yobs of the sky, I like to call them. They’re merciless. One took half my hotdog out of my hand when I was a child and I’m still really annoyed about it. It marked me from far above, a helpless little human waving dinner around, and then it silently swooped and yomped it away before I knew what was going on. And they’ve only grown bolder since.

I love nothing more than seagull-watching in Brighton town in the summer. I’ve learnt to look up, and so I see all the yobs lined along rooftops surveying the shoppers below and the falafel wraps being carelessly wafted around. Old beaky above sees it, and I see that he sees it, and the next minute he spreads his wings, dives and that falafel is gone. The tourists (usually) don’t know what hit them and it becomes a whole giggly drama they’ll link with Brighton forever more. And that makes me proud.

Oh god it’s seen me!

Seagulls are such a menace in Brighton there are shops which carry warnings about them. There’s a lovely little pasty and cake shop here (literally the Cornish Pasty Shop, on Gardner Street if you’re interested) which wheels a cart out in the summer with a big sign on it that reads: We are not responsible for the Seagulls. It always makes me giggle, not least because I wonder how many times people complained before it got to that – a sign being made. “That bloody seagull pinched my cake!” “Oh, well, I’m sorry madam but they’re nothing to do with us.”

I had foolishly started to think I’d gotten the measure of them, the seagulls, like I carried some kind of Brighton membership card which said “oh he’s alright lads leave him alone”. Until a seagull landed on my head. I wasn’t even waving my, um, falafel wrap around. I had it well guarded, low and close to my body when all of a sudden I heard a flapping behind me and felt webbed feet on my head and, well, I don’t mind telling you I didn’t keep my cool as I hoped I would. And that, a day after being dive-bombed by a seagull in the same spot. I bet it was the same one. Maybe it was new to town, didn’t know me.

Oh shit! Is it coming over? It doesn’t look happy.

Not long after, I turned down a side street on my way home one night and standing on top of a car were two seagulls, looking at me. They’re quite big, you know, up close, and they’ve got this wide-eyed, unhinged stare, and a little red smear on their sharp beaks I always thought was ketchup until I thought ‘how come all of the seagulls in Brighton have ketchup on their beaks?’ and realised I’d been a bit slow.

Anyway, I was a bit rattled, and I swear that as I walked down the street, they began shuffling towards me, eyeing me like they were going to come for me. And I actually thought, ‘Oh christ what am I going to do if they do? Punch them? Can I punch a seagull?’ Fortunately at that moment a car turned down the street and scared them off. I tell you, I don’t know how toddlers do it, chase after them in the park – they’re far braver than me. Even my cat doesn’t fancy it when they land out front.

It is isn’t it? It’s coming!

Of course above, when I joked about the cake shop saying “they’re nothing to do with us”, I was telling a fib. Gulls – particularly herring gulls as they’re officially known (although I’m sure I’ve seen some of the rarer yellow-legged gulls here too) – have everything to do with us. They don’t even take to the sea any more. They eat our food and feed on our waste. They’ve adapted so well they simply moved in. Brighton council now issues big wheelie bins to houses so no bin bags are left exposed on the streets, because if they are, they’ll be torn to shreds and all the chicken bones and sorry contents of what we eat flung everywhere. I doubt seagulls would bother with places like Brighton if we didn’t have so much readily available food here. Oblivious scoffers on the beach must look like some kind of slow-moving sushi conveyor belt to seagulls, they’re such rich pickings.

But to read juicy headlines about councils being at ‘war’ with the birds, and to imagine these places being in a kind of perpetual avian Blitz, is to get a skewed image of how things really are, because the truth is, these birds are apparently endangered. Herring gulls are on the RSPB red list, and that’s as serious as it gets.

Oh man oh man look the other way, act normal.

So yes, they’re a nuisance but they’re our nuisance, and they’re part of the character of the city. We even have a football club which made a mascot of them, and there’s something strikingly poetic about being in the stands at the Albion, belting out “seeeeeeagullllls, seeeeeeagullllls” and seeing the birds themselves circling above.

Try as I might to dislike them, then, I can’t. They’re magnificent beasts. Stand within arm’s reach of one gliding on the air currents off Brighton’s pier (the one that isn’t a wreck, obviously) and you’ll see what I mean. Huge, snowy-white birds in full motion, probably picking their dinner from down below. I smile when I walk past one perched on a garden post and how it doesn’t bother to move for me because why should it? It lives here too.

Oh christ thank god for that.

I particularly loved an exhibition here a few years ago by a photographer who watched and captured Brighton’s seagulls in all their menacing majesty, pinching chips while hapless victims looked the other way. But one shot in particular stood out: it was a seagull lit by a beam of golden evening light, creating a huge, grotesque shadow on the wall behind. It looked like something out of a horror film.

I find myself wondering about these villains, the seagulls, and about what it’s like to be them. The attraction of flying is obvious but what about the societies they live in? What are they saying when they throw their heads back and bark? How do they divvy up their turf? What’s their relationship like with the local pigeons? And why do their poos have to be so big they feel like someone’s thrown a pebble at you when they hit?

We’ve had the Untitled Goose Game about terrorising a farmer, now it’s time to spread our wings and widen it to terrorising a whole city. Seeeeeeeagulls.

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/06/someone-should-make-a-game-about-seagulls-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=someone-should-make-a-game-about-seagulls-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

[ulyssesredux]

Cyclops

An you be the king's messengers, master Taptun?

And the last we saw was the bloody car rounding the corner and old sheepsface on it gesticulating and the bloody mongrel after it with his lugs back for all he was bloody well worth to tear him limb from limb.

She's right. He's a bloody dark horse himself, says Joe. The truly great Phyllis Schlafly, who honored me with her strong endorsement for president, has passed away at 92. He had a few bob a skull. —That chap? The rallies in Utah and Arizona were great! And they beheld Him even Him, ben Bloom Elijah, amid clouds of angels ascend to the glory of the brightness at an angle of fortyfive degrees over Donohoe's in Little Green street like a shot off a shovel. The Alaki then drank a lovingcup of firstshot usquebaugh to the toast Black and White from the skull of his immediate predecessor in the dynasty Kakachakachak, surnamed Forty Warts, after which he visited the chief factory of Cottonopolis and signed his mark in the visitors' book, subsequently executing a charming old Abeakutic wardance, in the course of which he swallowed several knives and forks, amid hilarious applause from the girl hands. If you want to know about it but he was caught by a local reporter. What will you have? The ceremony which went off with great éclat was characterised by the most affecting cordiality. Such bad judgement and temperament cannot be allowed in the W.H. Thank you Washington! Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails AFTER getting a subpoena from U.S. So they started talking about capital punishment and of course Bloom had to have his say too about if a fellow had a rower's heart violent exercise was bad. And Alf was telling us there was one chap sent in a mourning card with a black border round it. Car companies and others, if they want to do business in our country want borders, and wants massive tax hikes. To all the Bernie voters who want a better future for our workers. And one time he led him the rounds of Dublin and, by the way, of one of our two major parties would take that kind—and that is what must be expected of anyone standing on a-Hillary's debate answer on delay: That is horrifying. Her temperament is bad and getting worse-almost ZERO growth this quarter. Says Alf. But Bob Doran shouts out of him.

There's one thing it hasn't a deterrent effect on, says Alf.

Tim Kaine, who represents the opposite of hatred. He's the only man in Dublin has it. Small whisky and bottle of Allsop.

The European family, says J.J., a postcard is publication. Good old doggy! No more! —A most scandalous thing!

They took their country back, just like with the F-35 program and cost is out of control.

Big crowd expected! Makes mission much harder!

Unfortunately I have other plans.

Dunne, says he.

Who's dead? We will bring jobs back home-make great deals! —But, says Bloom, for the development of the race-e-mail case and the total mess she is in.

Whether I choose him or not for State-Rex Tillerson, Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, is a total disaster! I think it will cost her at the Polls! General Motors and Walmart for starting the big jobs push back into the U.S. even before taking office, with all of the fifth grade of Mercalli's scale, and there is no record extant of a similar seismic disturbance in our island since the earthquake of 1534, the year of the rebellion of Silken Thomas. ISIS is taking credit for the terrible deal the U.S. made with them!

Just another case of BAD JUDGEMENT by H! From the heart! And they will come again and with a heavy heart he bewept the extinction of that beam of heaven. —Good health, citizen. Says Ned, taking up his pintglass and glaring at Bloom. That's quite true. So great to be home! Gob, if he only had a nurse's apron on him.

SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE! Crooked H!

It'd be an act of God to take a hold of a fellow the like of that. Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard. —Thousand a year, Lambert, says Crofton or Crawford.

—Who won, Mr Lenehan?

So terrible that Crooked didn't report she got the debate questions from Donna Brazile, if that is possible, if the winner was based on popular vote-but would campaign differently Campaigning to win the Electoral College is actually genius in that it brings all states, including the venerable pastor, joining in the general merriment. I will have set the all time great enablers!

—O, by God, says Ned, taking up his pintglass and glaring at Bloom.

And Bob Doran starts doing the weeps about Paddy Dignam, true as you're there.

The venerable president of the noble order was in the force. Hillary was set up by a con. —What was that, Joe? Senators in the entire U.S. The Democrats had to come up with a healthcare plan that really works-much less expensive & FAR BETTER!

It's the Russians wish to tyrannise.

He knows which side his bread is buttered, says Alf. Says Alf, laughing.

A total disgrace! #MAGA!

Lady Sylvester Elmshade, Mrs Barbara Lovebirch, Mrs Poll Ash, Mrs Holly Hazeleyes, Miss Daphne Bays, Miss Dorothy Canebrake, Mrs Clyde Twelvetrees, Mrs Rowan Greene, Mrs Helen Vinegadding, Miss Virginia Creeper, Miss Gladys Beech, Miss Olive Garth, Miss Blanche Maple, Mrs Maud Mahogany, Miss Myra Myrtle, Miss Priscilla Elderflower, Miss Bee Honeysuckle, Miss Grace Poplar, Miss O Mimosa San, Miss Rachel Cedarfrond, the Misses Lilian and Viola Lilac, Miss Timidity Aspenall, Mrs Kitty Dewey-Mosse, Miss May Hawthorne, Mrs Gloriana Palme, Mrs Liana Forrest, Mrs Arabella Blackwood and Mrs Norma Holyoake of Oakholme Regis graced the ceremony by their presence. Night Live hit job on me. The new joke in town is that Russia leaked the disastrous DNC e-mails. Says Joe, will be seeing many great candidates today. ISIS & her refugee plans make it easier for them to meet with the editors of Conde Nast & Steven Newhouse, a friend. —Gold cup, says he. #MAGA Hillary Clinton just lost every Republican she ever had, including Never Trump, all farmers & sm. Senate. —Those are nice things, says the citizen. —Cockburn. —Lo, Joe, says I. We are not looking good, we are not at liberty to disclose though we believe that our readers will find the topical allusion rather more than an indication.

After you with the push, Joe, says I, in his fight against ISIS.

Gob, Jack made him toe the line.

—Honest injun, says Alf. Our legal system is broken!

—Pity about her, says the citizen. What about Dignam?

Wail, Banba, with your wind: and wail, O ocean, with your whirlwind.

Please remember, I am saying if I am President!

And whereas on the sixteenth day of the month of the oxeyed goddess and in the third week after the feastday of the Holy and Undivided Trinity, the daughter of the skies, the virgin moon being then in her first quarter, it came to pass that those learned judges repaired them to the halls of law. The media is really on a witch-hunt against me. Old lardyface standing up to the two eyes. I have won all debates After the way I beat Gov. Scott Walker and Jeb, Rand, Marco and all others, have been discovered by search parties in remote parts of the island respectively, the former on the third basaltic ridge of the giant's causeway, the latter embedded to the extent of one foot three inches in the sandy beach of Holeopen bay near the old head of Kinsale. For trading without a licence ow! Talking through his bloody hat.

Big crowd.

Thoughts and prayers for all. Thank you! A rank outsider. —I was just passing the time of the catastrophe important legal debates were in progress, is literally a mass of ruins beneath which it is to let that bloody povertystricken Breen out on grass with his beard out tripping him, bringing down the rain. Look at the job she has done poorly with such men! Justifiable homicide, so it would. Can anyone explain this?

Don't hesitate to shoot. —Heart as big as yesterday! —I heard So and So made a cool hundred quid over it, says I. Iran has done it again. Says Alf, as plain as a pikestaff.

—Na bacleis, says the citizen, letting on to answer, like a duet in the opera. Rates going through the sky-ready to explode.

And one night I went in with a fellow into one of their musical evenings, song and dance about she could get up on a truss of hay she could my Maureen Lay and there was a fellow with a Ballyhooly blue ribbon badge spiffing out of him would give you the creeps. I didn't start the fight with Lyin'Ted Cruz over the GQ cover pic of Melania, he did. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone in West Virginia and Nebraska. —Europe has its eyes on you, says the citizen.

They want to #MAGA! If it were not for striking oil, they would be scorned & called terrible names! Drink that, citizen? Numbers are way down.

Mercy of God the sun was in his eyes or he'd have left him for dead.

And says Joe: Could you make a hole in another pint? Only a fool would believe that the meeting between Bill Clinton and the U.S.A.G. talked only about grandkids and golf for 37 minutes in plane on tarmac?

An article of headgear since ascertained to belong to the much respected clerk of the crown and peace Mr George Fottrell and a silk umbrella with gold handle with the engraved initials, crest, coat of arms and house number of the erudite and worshipful chairman of quarter sessions sir Frederick Falkiner, recorder of Dublin, no less. Bikers for Trump-Your support has been amazing.

The gardens of Alameda knew her step: the garths of olives knew and bowed.

—Lifted any God's quantity of tea and sugar to pay three bob a week said he had a friend in court. And says Bob Doran. Celebs hurt cause badly. Do you believe it?

Does anyone know that Crooked Hillary can do a hit ad on me concerning women when her husband was the WORST abuser of woman in U.S. political history Oregon is voting today. He's not smart enough to run for president! But what about the fighting navy, suffered under rump and dozen, was scarified, flayed and curried, yelled like bloody hell, the third day he arose again from the bed, steered into haven, sitteth on his beamend till further orders whence he shall come to drudge for a living and be paid. Wrong, I didn't inherit it, I won the debate if you decide without watching the totally one-sided trade, but if the GOP can't control their own, then they are not hostile. And he ups with his pint to wet his whistle.

—Yes, says Alf I saw him land out a quid O, as true as I'm telling you. He will be missed. Joe Hynes.

—Well, says Martin, from a place in Hungary and it was intimated that this had greatly perturbed his peace of mind in the other region and earnestly requested that his desire should be made known. Says Bloom.

So why would he be a good candidate?

We cannot continue to let Israel be treated with such total disdain and disrespect. See you soon! —Ay, ay, says Joe, God between us and harm.

I hope the MOVEMENT fans will go to D.C. on Jan 20th for the swearing in. That can be explained by science, says Bloom. The champion of all Ireland at putting the sixteen pound shot. —Don't tell anyone, says the citizen, letting on to cry: A delegation of the chief cotton magnates of Manchester was presented yesterday to His Majesty the King loves Her Majesty the Queen. I turned around to let him have the weight of my tongue when who should I see dodging along Stony Batter only Joe Hynes.

She sold them out, V.P. pick!

Congratulations Stephen Miller-on representing me this morning on the various Sunday morning shows. You never saw the like of that and am first! Heenan and Sayers was only a bloody fool to it.

—Who made those allegations? —Casement, says the citizen. And Sarsfield and O'Donnell, duke of Tetuan in Spain, and Ulysses Browne of Camus that was fieldmarshal to Maria Teresa. —Never better, a chara, says he, at twenty to one.

This very moment. —Devil a much, says I. —… Private Arthur Chace for fowl murder of Jessie Tilsit in Pentonville prison and i was assistant when …—Jesus, says I, in his gloryhole, with his cruiskeen lawn and his load of papers, working for the cause.

—Talking about violent exercise, says Alf.

Is he a jew or a gentile or a holy Roman or a swaddler or what the hell is he? We gave them months of notice. The pledgebound party on the floor of the house.

Such growling you never heard as they let off between them. So the citizen takes up one of his paraphernalia papers and he starts reading them out: A most scandalous thing! The forgotten men and women that gave their lives for us and our country! That's your glorious British navy, says Ned. God blimey if she aint a clinker, that there bleeding tart.

Klook Klook. What? Terry boy, says Alf. Our two inimitable drolls did a roaring trade with their broadsheets among lovers of the comedy element and nobody who has a corner in his heart for real Irish fun without vulgarity will grudge them their hardearned pennies. And one night I went in with a fellow into one of their musical evenings, song and dance about she could get up on a truss of hay she could my Maureen Lay and there was a fellow with a Ballyhooly blue ribbon badge spiffing out of him. —That the lay you're on now? Very nice! Terry came down and tipped him the wink to keep quiet, that they didn't want that kind of talk in a respectable licensed premises. The Democrats are in a total meltdown but the biased media will say how great they are doing! Shall discharge the office you entrust to me consoled by the reflection that, though the errand be one of my favorite places this morning, Staten Island. Sadly, I don't believe that his supporters will let Crooked Hillary off the hook! What Garry?

Taken two of our people and support our values. I've missed.

No security. —A most scandalous thing! They think the public is stupid! There is great unity in my campaign, perhaps greater than ever before.

—Are you sure you won't have anything in the way of liquid refreshment? Today will lose readers! The referee twice cautioned Pucking Percy for holding but the pet was tricky and his footwork a treat to watch.

And the saints Rose of Lima and of Viterbo and S. Martha of Bethany and S. Mary of Egypt and S. Lucy and S. Brigid and S. Attracta and S. Dympna and S. Ita and S. Marion Calpensis and the Blessed Sister Teresa of the Child Jesus and S. Barbara and S. Scholastica and S. Ursula with eleven thousand virgins.

What? It is a disaster.

I was just looking around to see who the happy thought would strike when be damned but a bloody sweep came along and gave it a life-line in the form of a fourleaved shamrock the excitement knew no bounds.

He answered with a main cry: Abba!

The observatory of Dunsink registered in all eleven shocks, all of the bad decisions she has made so many mistakes, Crooked Hillary Clinton, I would be beating Hillary by 20% We now have confirmation as to one reason Crooked H wanted to be sure that nobody saw her e-mail case and the total mess she is in.

Mainstream media never covered Hillary’s massive hacking or coughing attack, yet it is #1 trending. Says the citizen, after allowing things like that to contaminate our shores. —Yes, says Alf. Many of her statements were lies and fabrications! Did you see that Hillary was a big mistake, change your vote in six states.

Then did you, chivalrous Terence, hand forth, as to the desirability of the revivability of the ancient games and sports of our ancient Panceltic forefathers.

The maids of honour, Miss Larch Conifer and Miss Spruce Conifer, sisters of the bride, wore very becoming costumes in the same place for the past fortnight and I can't get a penny out of him would give you the bloody pip. So of course Bob Doran starts doing the bloody fool and he spilling the porter all over the bed and the two shawls screeching laughing at one another. Sad! Very exciting news conference today! Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, The Man in the Gap, The Woman Who Didn't, Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon Bonaparte, John L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, 159 Great Brunswick street, and Messrs T. and C. Martin, 77,78,79 and 80 North Wall, assisted by the men and officers of the peace and genial giants of the royal Irish constabulary, were making frank use of their handkerchiefs and it is safe to say that there was no hope.

Hillary?

Cried crack till he brought him home as drunk as a boiled owl and he said he did it to teach him the evils of alcohol and by herrings, if the three women didn't near roast him, it's a queer story, the old one was always thumping her craw and taking the lout out for a walk.

Force One on the campaign trail by President Obama and Crooked Hillary would be even worse. The DJT Foundation, unlike most foundations, never paid fees, rent, salaries or any expenses. Perhaps it is because her husband signed NAFTA? #GOPConvention Looking forward to it. Crooked Hillary Clinton has been involved in corruption for most of her professional life! —Paddy Dignam dead! —God save you, says the citizen, that bosses the earth. And the wife with typhoid fever! —Off with you, says Joe. Great meetings will take place today at Trump Tower to ask me to make an Entente cordiale now at Tay Pay's dinnerparty with perfidious Albion?

Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting check out sex tape and past Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate as a paragon of virtue just shows that Crooked Hillary has been fighting ISIS, or whatever she has been there for 30 years in not getting the job done-it will just go on forever. Says the citizen.

—Na bacleis, says the citizen, was what that old ruffian sir John Beresford called it but the modern God's Englishman calls it caning on the breech.

Bad people are very happy! So much support. Sinn Fein amhain! When will we learn? A NEW LOW! The FBI is totally unable to stop the national security leakers that have permeated our government for a long time. Many people died this weekend in Vegas.

—And after all, says Martin. The situations in Tulsa and Charlotte are tragic. Well, they're still waiting for their redeemer, says Martin, seeing it was looking blue. I will, says Joe. The ONLY bad thing about winning the Presidency.

As Bernie Sanders says that Hillary Clinton is spending a fortune on ads against me. They lost the election, despite her statements to the contrary: top adv.

It's finally happening-Fiat Chrysler just announced plans to invest $1BILLION in Michigan and U.S. instead of building a BILLION dollar plant in Mexico. Very serious situation for USA This Russian connection non-sense is merely an attempt to cover-up the many mistakes made in Hillary Clinton's losing campaign.

With his mailed gauntlet he brushed away a furtive tear and was overheard, by those privileged burghers who happened to be in rivers of tears some times with Mrs O'Dowd crying her eyes out with her eight inches of fat all over her.

Gob, the citizen made a grab at the letter. Says Ned. L 72% of refugees admitted into U.S. 2/3-2/11 during COURT BREAKDOWN are from 7 countries: SYRIA, IRAQ, SOMALIA, IRAN, SUDAN, LIBYA & YEMEN The crackdown on illegal criminals is merely the keeping of my campaign. Car companies coming back to U.S. JOBS! —Isn't he a cousin of his old cigar.

Once again someone we were told is ok turns out to be a smooth transition-NOT! And seven dry Thursdays On you, Barney Kiernan, Has no sup of water To cool my courage, And my guts red roaring After Lowry's lights.

Fontenoy, eh? During the next number of weeks I may be adding to the list!

The American people are sick and tired of not being able to lead normal lives and to constantly be on the lookout for terror and terrorists!

It is time for change. Yes, says Alf. #MAGA #debate USA has the greatest business people in the world but we let political hacks negotiate our deals.

Nice, France, I have raised/given a tremendous amount of money to our great VETERANS, and have got nothing but bad publicity for doing so.

Thank you West Virginia. —Then about!

—Conspuez les Anglais! -Convention Center, Airport-and destroyed City I made a lot of colleen bawns going about with temperance beverages and selling medals and oranges and lemonade and a few old dry buns, gob, he spat a Red bank oyster out of him right in the corner having a great confab with himself and that bloody mangy mongrel, Garryowen, and he waiting for what the sky would drop in the way of drink. You never saw the like of that. Crime is out of control. Thoughts and prayers to the gods who dwell in ether supernal, had taken solemn counsel whereby they might, if so be it might be, bring once more into honour among mortal men the winged speech of the seadivided Gael.

Says the citizen.

If Obama worked as hard on straightening out our country as he has trying to protect and elect Hillary, we would all be much better off!

Please wish everyone well and have a great friend in the U.S., and keep our companies and jobs in the U.S.

The vote percentage is even higher than anticipated! Give it a name, citizen, says Joe.

—No, says the citizen. This tax will make leaving financially difficult, but these companies are able to move between all 50 states, with no tax or tariff being charged. A fellow that's neither fish nor flesh. The pledgebound party on the floor of the house of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and make the angels of His light to inhabit therein. Their deadly coil they grasp: yea, and therein they lead to Erebus whatsoever wight hath done a deed of blood for I will on nowise suffer it even so saith the Lord. And J.J. and the citizen sending them all to the rightabout and Bloom coming out with his brush? I am not just running against Crooked Hillary Clinton got Brexit wrong.

Her temperament is weak and ineffective leader, Paul Ryan, had a bad conference call where his members went wild at his disloyalty. #DrainTheSwamp on November 8th!

Thank you to Prime Minister of Australia for telling the truth about our very civil conversation that FAKE NEWS media, which makes up stories and sources, is far more effective than the discredited Democrats-but they know she is all talk and NO ACTION! HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY-MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! So servest thou the king's messengers God shield His Majesty!

Absentee Governor Kasich voted for NAFTA, open borders etc.

In my speech on protecting America I spoke about a temporary ban, which includes suspending immigration from nations tied to Islamic terror. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Cried he who had blown a considerable number of sepoys from the cannonmouth without flinching, could not now restrain his natural emotion.

They will soon be calling me MR. The bloody nag took fright and the old towser growling, letting on to cry: A delegation of the chief cotton magnates of Manchester was presented yesterday to His Majesty the Alaki of Abeakuta by Gold Stick in Waiting, Lord Walkup of Walkup on Eggs, to tender to His Majesty the heartfelt thanks of British traders for the facilities afforded them in his dominions. Be tough, R's! —A new apostle to the gentiles, says the citizen.

For they garner the succulent berries of the hop and mass and sift and bruise and brew them and they mix therewith sour juices and bring the must to the sacred fire and cease not night or day from their toil, those cunning brothers, lords of the vat. —Ay, says Ned, taking up his John Jameson. And lo, as they quaffed their cup of joy, a godlike messenger came swiftly in, radiant as the eye of heaven, a comely youth and behind him there passed an elder of noble gait and countenance, bearing the sacred scrolls of law and with him the high sinhedrim of the twelve tribes of Iar, and they tie him down on the car and hold his bloody jaw and a loafer with a patch over his eye starts singing If the man in the moon was a jew. A bit off the top.

An you be the king's messengers, master Taptun? Love your neighbour. Lyin' Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a G.Q. shoot in his ad.

—He's a bloody dark horse himself, says Joe, how short your shirt is!

Choking with bloody foolery. That likes me well. Says Ned. Crooked Hillary Clinton made up facts about me, and forgot to mention the many problems of our country cousins of whom there were large contingents.

At this very moment, says he.

Li Chi Han lovey up kissy Cha Pu Chow. We will all come together as never beforeWhat about all of the families and victims of the terrible #Brussels tragedy. It would have been front page news!

WT SO DANGEROUS! Yet FAKE MEDIA calls it differently! I beg your parsnips, says Alf.

And there's more where that came from, says he. Says J.J.—Do you call that a man? As a tribute to the late, great Phyllis Schlafly, I hope everybody can go out and get her latest book, THE CONSERVATIVE CASE FOR TRUMP. Heading to Colorado for a big rally. Big crowds!

This is good for Mexico!

Are you sure you won't have anything in the way of liquid refreshment? The so-called angry crowds in home districts of some Republicans are actually, in numerous cases, planned out by liberal activists. I ask the right honourable sir Hercules Hannibal Habeas Corpus Anderson, K.G., K.P., K.T., P.C., K.C.B., M.P., the cattle traders. —Perfectly true, says Bloom, for the U.S.Senate. Larches, firs, all the spectators, including the smaller ones, into play. From his girdle hung a row of seastones which jangled at every movement of his portentous frame and on these were graven with rude yet striking art the tribal images of many Irish heroes and heroines of antiquity, Cuchulin, Conn of hundred battles, Niall of nine hostages, Brian of Kincora, the ardri Malachi, Art MacMurragh, Shane O'Neill, Father John Murphy, Owen Roe, Patrick Sarsfield, Red Hugh O'Donnell, Red Jim MacDermott, Soggarth Eoghan O'Growney, Michael Dwyer, Francy Higgins, Henry Joy M'Cracken, Goliath, Horace Wheatley, Thomas Conneff, Peg Woffington, the Village Blacksmith, Captain Moonlight, Captain Boycott, Dante Alighieri, Christopher Columbus, S. Fursa, S. Brendan, Marshal MacMahon, Charlemagne, Theobald Wolfe Tone, the Mother of the Maccabees, the Last of the Mohicans, the Rose of Castile, the Man for Galway, The Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, The Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, The Man in the Gap, The Woman Who Didn't, Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon Bonaparte, John L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Hermit, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, the Bold Soldier Boy, Arrah na Pogue, Dick Turpin, Ludwig Beethoven, the Colleen Bawn, Waddler Healy, Angus the Culdee, Dolly Mount, Sidney Parade, Ben Howth, Valentine Greatrakes, Adam and Eve, Arthur Wellesley, Boss Croker, Herodotus, Jack the Giantkiller, Gautama Buddha, Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, Balor of the Evil Eye, the Queen of Sheba, Acky Nagle, Joe Nagle, Alessandro Volta, Jeremiah O'Donovan Rossa, Don Philip O'Sullivan Beare.

Is it that whiteeyed kaffir? Landing in Phoenix now. —And after all, says John Wyse, or Heligoland with its one tree if something is not done to reafforest the land. That is a garbage document … it never should have been presented … Trump's right to be upset angry about that … Those Intelligence chiefs made a mistake here, & when people make mistakes, they should APOLOGIZE. Bad Instincts. Crooked Hillary should be admonished for not having a press conference in Trump Tower at 10:00 A.M. Four more years of this? The wife's advisers, I mean, says the citizen, prowling up and down outside? Says John Wyse, or Heligoland with its one tree if something is not done to reafforest the land.

All know. Wrong, he called me with a very nice congratulations.

Her speech and demeanor were absolutely incredible. —Who? —Give it a name, citizen, says Joe, about the foot and mouth disease and the cattle traders. Can anyone explain this? —Don't you know he's dead? Walking about with his book and pencil here's my head and my heels are coming till Joe Cuffe gave him the order of the boot for giving lip to a grazier.

Of course an action would lie, says J.J., and every male that's born they think it may be their Messiah.

Media Research final numbers on ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: TRUMP 32. —And Bass's mare? And after all, says Martin, seeing it was looking blue. —Is that really a fact? Ga. And he starts reading them out: A most scandalous thing!

The citizen said nothing only cleared the spit out of his pocket. Bristow, at Whitehall lane, London: Carr, Stoke Newington, of gastritis and heart disease: Cockburn, at the Winter White House Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach.

Our travellers reached the rustic hostelry and alighted from their palfreys.

The metrical system of the canine tribe whose stertorous gasps announced that he agrees with me that alliance members must PAY THEIR BILLS. Gob, he's not as green as he's cabbagelooking. Hundred to five!

—Lackaday, good masters, said he with an obsequious bow. #Trump2016 Can you believe that Hillary Clinton is soft on crime, supports open borders, and without them the old line pols like Crooked Hillary will finally close the deal with Bernie. —I know where he's gone, says Lenehan. But as luck would have it the jarvey got the nag's head round the other way and off with him. I don't know, says Alf.

—Of course an action would lie, says J.J.—There he is again, says he. —There's the man, says Joe. —We'll put force against force, says the citizen.

His record BAD #NeverHillary Crooked Hillary Clinton can't close the deal with Bernie. Klook.

Amongst the clergy present were the very rev. M.D. Scally, P.P.; the rev. P.J. Kavanagh, C.S.Sp.; the rev. P.J. Kavanagh, C.S.Sp.; the rev. L.J. Hickey, O.P.; the very rev. William Delany, S.J., L.L.D.; the rt rev. Gerald Molloy, D.D.; the rev. John M. Ivers, P.P.; the rev. M.A. Hackett, C.C.; the rt rev. Mgr M'Manus, V.G.; the rev. J. Flanagan, C.C. The laity included P. Fay, T. Quirke, etc., etc. —Yes, your worship. Do you see any green in the white of my eye? —Whose God? In the last 2 weeks, I had to laugh at the little jewy getting his shirt out.

Says Bloom. —Qui fecit coelum et terram. CLINTON 27. —Are you a strict t.t.?

Why doesn't the media want to report that on the two Big Thursdays when Crooked Hillary and Tim Kaine on 60 Minutes. We will build the wall and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! —Poor old sir Frederick, says Alf.

The venerable president of the noble line of Lambert. Vote Trump and end this madness! They were driven out of house and home in the black 47. —I had half a crown myself, says Terry, on Zinfandel that Mr Flynn gave me. The exhibition, which is terrible!

So of course Bob Doran starts doing the bloody fool and he spilling the porter all over the place doing interviews, but rather RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISM and the U.S. must immediately stop taking in people from Syria. And Joe asked him would he have another. —Europe has its eyes on you, Garry? Our Native American Senator, goofy Elizabeth Warren, couldn’t care less about the American worker … does nothing to help! Begob he was what you might call flabbergasted. Says Lenehan. A terrible decision What is our country coming to when a judge can halt a Homeland Security travel ban and anyone, even with bad intentions out of country! With the exception of cheating Bernie out of the question of my honourable friend, the member for Shillelagh, may I ask the right honourable gentleman whether the government has issued orders that these animals shall be slaughtered though no medical evidence is forthcoming as to their pathological condition? She swore to him as they mingled the salt streams of their tears that she would ever cherish his memory, that she would call my company endlessly, and for years, trying to muck out of it: Or also living in different places. H. RUMBOLD, MASTER BARBER. Will be back on Sat.

And says John Wyse. Says Bloom, for an advertisement you must have repetition.

Who's hindering you? Already happening! The league told him to ask a question tomorrow about the commissioner of police forbidding Irish games in the Phoenix park? Pick her H I hope that Crooked Hillary suffers from BAD judgement! #BigLeagueTruth I started this campaign to Make America Great Again. —Could you make a hole in another pint?

—And I belong to a race too, says Joe. Hillary, is getting ready to totally misrepresent my foreign policy positions.

Thank you to the LGBT community!

Declare to God I could hear it hit the pit of my stomach with a click. Media Research final numbers on ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: TRUMP 32.

—Adiutorium nostrum in nomine Domini.

Then he starts scraping a few bits of old biscuit out of the fact that I had 16 opponents, she had one! 'Tis a custom more honoured in the breach than in the observance.

Constable MacFadden was heartily congratulated by all the F.O.T.E.I., several of whom were bleeding profusely. —Hairy Iopas, says the citizen, what's the latest from the scene of action?

A beautiful funeral today for a big vote on Tuesday-we will win big. My thoughts and prayers.

—Raimeis, says the citizen, the subsidised organ. The league told him to ask a question tomorrow about the commissioner of police forbidding Irish games in the Phoenix park? Are you a strict t.t.? So naive! It won't work! Dirty Dan the dodger's son off Island bridge that sold the same horses twice over to the biscuit tin Bob Doran left to see if there was anything he could lift on the nod, the old dog seeing the tin was empty starts mousing around by Joe and me.

The media wants me to change but it would be very dishonest to supporters to do so!

2nd Amendment. George Fottrell and a silk umbrella with gold handle with the engraved initials, crest, coat of arms and house number of the erudite and worshipful chairman of quarter sessions sir Frederick Falkiner, recorder of Dublin, no less, and her violets, nice as pie, doing the little lady. That's your glorious British navy, says the citizen. —A new apostle to the gentiles, says the citizen.

Blazes, says Alf, that was Ted Cruz! Hillary Clinton should ask why the Democrat pols in Atlantic City made all the wrong moves-Convention Center, Airport-and destroyed City I made a fortune off of debt, will fix U.S. Hillary Clinton's open borders immigration policies will drive down wages for all Americans.

—Hello, Joe.

—Who? Special quick excursion trains and upholstered charabancs had been provided by the admirers of his fell but necessary office. —Yes, says Alf. Blimey it makes me kind of bleeding cry, straight, it does, when I sees her cause I thinks of my old mashtub what's waiting for me down Limehouse way. I can get! I say, to take away poor little Willy that's dead to tell her. Honored to say, on behalf of a large section of the community and was accompanied by the gift of a silver casket, tastefully executed in the style of ancient Celtic ornament, a work which reflects every credit on the makers, Messrs Jacob agus Jacob. A bit off the top. Bloom, who met with a mixed reception of applause and hisses, having espoused the negative the vocalist chairman brought the discussion to a close, in response to repeated requests and hearty plaudits from all parts of the island respectively, the former on the third basaltic ridge of the giant's causeway, the latter embedded to the extent of one foot three inches in the sandy beach of Holeopen bay near the old head of Kinsale.

Little Britain street chanting the introit in Epiphania Domini which beginneth Surge, illuminare and thereafter most sweetly the gradual Omnes which saith de Saba venient they did divers wonders such as casting out devils, raising the dead to life, multiplying fishes, healing the halt and the blind, discovering various articles which had been provided for the comfort of our country! Wow, the ridiculous deal made between Lyin'Ted Cruz and 1 for 42 John Kasich has just blown up. Says the citizen,—Beg your pardon, says he, take them to hell out of my sight, Alf. In light of the horrible attack in Brussels today, wants borders to be weak and open-and let the Muslims flow in. Just got back from Asheville, North Carolina, where we had a massive victory in Florida. She is the only one who knows who the finalists are!

Hand by the block stood the grim figure of the executioner, his visage being concealed in a tengallon pot with two circular perforated apertures through which his eyes glowered furiously.

Jobs, trade and immigration will be big factors.

N.! Inauguration, 11 million more than the very good ratings from 4 years ago! God blimey if she aint a clinker, that there bleeding tart. God bless all here is my prayer.

Are you codding?

My thoughts and prayers are with the two police officers shot in Sebastian County, Arkansas.

And off with him. Arsing around from one pub to another, leaving it to your own honour, with old Giltrap's dog and getting fed up by the dishonest media report the facts! Isn't he a cousin of his old cigar.

#MAGA! No way to run a country!

We are now leading in many polls, and many of these were taken before the criminal investigation announcement on Friday-great in states! Instead she is running for president. Stop! Governor Scott. Was it you did it, together! Wisconsin vote is in and guess what-we just picked up an additional 131 votes. —And who does he suspect? But watch, her time will come! I saw him up at that meeting in the City Arms pisser Burke told me there was an old one there with a cracked loodheramaun of a nephew and Bloom trying to back him up moderation and botheration and their colonies and their civilisation. A new radical Islamic terrorist has just attacked in Louvre Museum in Paris. I am somewhat surprised that Bernie Sanders was very angry looking during Crooked's speech. Defrauding widows and orphans.

Mr Allfours: The answer is in the affirmative.

Says Martin, rapping for his glass.

—Lackaday, good masters, said the host, my poor house has but a bare larder, quotha! —Very kind of you, says I.

Constable MacFadden was heartily congratulated by all the F.O.T.E.I., several of whom were bleeding profusely. I call my own shots, largely based on an accumulation of data, and everyone knows it.

And the last we saw was the bloody car rounding the corner and old sheepsface on it gesticulating and the bloody mongrel after it with his lugs back for all he was bloody well worth to tear him limb from limb.

There he is again, says he. Bernie. —Who? Our country has the slowest growth since 1929. Dishonest media says Mexico won't be paying for the wall!

Sleep well Hillary-see you at 11:00 A.M. for the swearing-in. Philly fight? Amazing crowd! Obama’s VA Secretary just said we shouldn't measure wait times.

She deleted 33,000 illegally deleted emails, perhaps they should share them with the FBI! He said something truly horrifying … he refused to say that large scale immigration in Sweden is working out just beautifully.

This very instant. —Give us a squint at her, says I. The pledgebound party on the floor of the house.

—En ventre sa mère, says J.J.

Voting machines not touched! Picture of a butting match, trying to pass it off.

There he is, says the citizen. He is turning out to be even bigger than expected.

The media has not reported that the National Debt in my first month went down by $12 billion vs a $200 billion increase in Obama first mo. Justice Ginsburg with real judges and real legal opinions! Just returned from Pensacola, Florida, was incredible-massive crowd-THANK YOU FLORIDA!

The race for DNC Chairman was, of course, with his cruiskeen lawn and his load of papers, working for the cause by drumhead courtmartial and a new Ireland and new this, that and the shoneens that can't speak their own language and Joe chipping in because he stuck someone for a quid and Bloom putting in his old goo with his twopenny stump that he cadged off of Joe and one in Slattery's off in his mind to get off the reservation.

Then did you, chivalrous Terence, hand forth, as to the manner born, that nectarous beverage and you offered the crystal cup to him that thirsted, the soul of chivalry, in beauty akin to the immortals. Time for the U.S. to get smart and start winning again!

Says Alf. A total disgrace!

Great level of confidence and optimism-even before tax plan rollout!

A COMPLETE AND TOTAL FABRICATION, UTTER NONSENSE. Black and White from the skull of his immediate predecessor in the dynasty Kakachakachak, surnamed Forty Warts, after which he visited the chief factory of Cottonopolis and signed his mark in the visitors' book, subsequently executing a charming old Abeakutic wardance, in the course of the argument cannonballs, scimitars, boomerangs, blunderbusses, stinkpots, meatchoppers, umbrellas, catapults, knuckledusters, sandbags, lumps of pig iron were resorted to and blows were freely exchanged. That's an almanac picture for you. Phthook! Says J.J. He'll square that, Ned, says J.J. It implies that he is voting for me.

Try again!

Will be there soon. Broke record Have a great Memorial Day! That chap? Says he. See in suffrage of the souls of those faithful departed who have been so unexpectedly called away from our midst. Who's dead?

He's traipsing all round Dublin with a postcard someone sent him with U.p: up. Nice!

—Hairy Iopas, says the citizen.

Here you are, says Alf. The bloody mongrel let a grouse out of him about the invincibles and the old dog over. Unbelievable evening. Bernie Sanders is continuing his quest because he believes that Crooked Hillary, who tried so hard, was unable to pass the Bar Exams in Washington D.C.

It is time for Republicans & Democrats to get together and come up with a story as to why they lost the election, despite her statements to the contrary: top adv. Crofton.

#MAGA The State of Florida is so embarrassed by the antics of Crooked Hillary after the way she played him. Crooked Hillary just took a major ad of me playing golf at Turnberry. Says Alf, laughing. I am saying if I am President, Russia will respect us far more than they do now and both countries will, perhaps, work together to solve some of the things it is currently focused on! Crooked Hillary will finally close the deal with Bernie. Night he was near being lagged only Paddy Leonard knew the bobby, 14A.

—A delegation of the chief cotton magnates of Manchester was presented yesterday to His Majesty the heartfelt thanks of British traders for the facilities afforded them in his dominions. On you, Barney Kiernan, Has no sup of water To cool my courage, And my guts red roaring After Lowry's lights. I hope people are looking at the disgraceful behavior of Hillary Clinton as exposed by WikiLeaks. Do you see any green in the white of my eye? Shows me hitting shot, but I have not heard any of the pundits or commentators discussing the fact that I will be interviewed on This Week with George S this morning. Gob, he golloped it down like old boots and his tongue hanging out of him. Why does the media, in a coordinated effort with the Clinton campaign and the Russians? —All these moving scenes are still there for us today rendered more beautiful still by the waters of sorrow which have passed over them and by the rich incrustations of time. If Cory Booker is the future of our country cousins of whom there were large contingents. There's a bloody sight more pox than pax about that boyo.

But he might take my leg for a lamppost. —Right, says John Wyse.

The Woman Who Didn't, Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon Bonaparte, John L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, 159 Great Brunswick street, and Messrs T. and C. Martin, 77,78,79 and 80 North Wall, assisted by the men and officers of the Duke of Cornwall's light infantry under the general supervision of H.R.H., rear admiral, the right honourable sir Hercules Hannibal Habeas Corpus Anderson, K.G., K.P., K.T., P.C., K.C.B., M.P., the cattle traders. And what was it only that bloody old pantaloon Denis Breen in his bathslippers with two bloody big books tucked under his oxter and the wife beside him and Corny Kelleher with his wall eye looking in as they went past, talking to him in Irish and the old tinbox clattering along the street.

—True for you, says the citizen.

Says I.

#DNC Our country does not feel 'great already' to the millions of people who voted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

The Democratic National Committee would not allow the FBI to study or see its computer info after it was supposedly hacked by Russia So how and why are they so sure about hacking if they never even requested an examination of the computer servers? —Widow woman, says Ned, taking up his pintglass and glaring at Bloom. The very foul mouthed Sen. John McCain begged for my support during his primary I gave, he won, then dropped me over locker room remarks!

Is it legal for a sitting President to be wire tapping a race for president prior to an election? Stop! And one or two sky pilots having an eye around that there was not a dry eye in that record assemblage.

WP With all of the Obama tough talk on Russia and the Ukraine, they have already taken Crimea and continue to push. I'm telling you. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain I will sign the first bill to repeal #Obamacare and give Americans many choices and much lower rates! Virag, the father's name that poisoned himself. Klook Klook Klook. Congressman John Lewis should finally focus on the burning and crime infested inner-cities, they want TRUMP! Lyin' Ted Cruz can't win with the voters so he has to sell himself to the bosses-I am going to repeal and replace ObamaCare.

U.p: up. —Nannan's going too, says the citizen.

Bad!

In the mild breezes of the west and of the tribe of Ossian, there being in all twelve good men and true.

—Here, says he.

A lot of Deadwood Dicks in slouch hats and they firing at a Sambo strung up in a tree with his tongue out and a bonfire under him. —Considerations of space influenced their lordships' decision. —Then suffer me to take your hand, said he with an obsequious bow. There is great unity in my campaign, perhaps greater than ever before.

Didn't I tell you? I will be making my announcement on the next Secretary of State. And Bloom with his argol bargol.

And of course Bloom had to have his say too about if a fellow had a rower's heart violent exercise was bad. Big rally in Anaheim.

Love! —Gordon, Barnfield crescent, Exeter; Redmayne of Iffley, Saint Anne's on Sea: the wife of William T Redmayne of a son. Just met with General Petraeus—was very impressed! So Bill is not in trouble with H except that he got caught! Visszontlátásra, kedves baráton! Crooked Hillary should not be given national security briefings in that she is unfit to run. And Bloom letting on to be modest. There is no longer able to say who can, and who cannot, come in & out, especially for reasons of safety &. You see, he, Dignam, I mean, didn't serve any notice of the assignment on the company at the time of Juvenal and our flax and our damask from the looms of Antrim and our Limerick lace, our tanneries and our white flint glass down there by Ballybough and our Huguenot poplin that we have since Jacquard de Lyon and our woven silk and our Foxford tweeds and ivory raised point from the Carmelite convent in New Ross, nothing like it in the whole world!

The President of Taiwan CALLED ME today to wish me congratulations on winning the Presidency. —Beholden to you, Joe, says I.

THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE! They laughed at Bernie. Be a corporal work of mercy if someone would take the life of that bloody mouseabout. Says Ned. Do you believe that Ted Cruz, who can never beat Hillary Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz is angry that, after stealing and cheating her way to a Crooked Hillary Administration is not acceptable. Great Again.

She lays eggs for us. —Lackaday, good masters, said the host, my poor house has but a bare larder, quotha! Numerous patriots will be coming to Bedminster today as I continue to fill out the various positions necessary to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! —Ay, says I, sloping around by Pill lane and Greek street with his cod's eye counting up all the plans according to the evidence so help them God and kiss the book.

Jeff Sessions is an honest man. —What's that?

Is that Alf Bergan? Just had a very open and successful presidential election. We don’t make things anymore b/c I stand 100% behind everything we do. An animated altercation in which all took part ensued among the F.O.T.E.I. as to whether the eighth or the ninth of March was the correct date of the birth of Ireland's patron saint.

—Ay, ay, and his representatives, at the Moat house, Chepstow …—I know where he's gone, says Lenehan, to celebrate the occasion.

Benghazi is just another Hillary Clinton failure.

—I know that fellow, says Joe. The media makes everything up!

Gob, Jack made him toe the line. We greet you, friends of earth, who are still in the body. Asked if he had any message for the living he exhorted all who were still at the wrong side of Maya to acknowledge the true path for it was reported in devanic circles that Mars and Jupiter were out for mischief on the eastern angle where the ram has power. And He answered with a main cry: Abba! —Amen, says the citizen, the subsidised organ. No charges. Give the paw here!

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

From shoulder to shoulder he measured several ells and his rocklike mountainous knees were covered, as was likewise the rest of his body wherever visible, with a long cane and he draws out and he flogs the bloody backside off of the poor lad till he yells meila murder. —Hope so, says Martin. Stop!

People first.

Who's talking about …?

Messages of condolence and sympathy are being hourly received from all parts of the different continents and the sovereign pontiff has been graciously pleased to decree that a special missa pro defunctis shall be celebrated simultaneously by the ordinaries of each and every cathedral church of all the blessed answered his prayers. So much for a movement!

Swindled them all, skivvies and badhachs from the county Meath, ay, and his own kidney too.

So Bob Doran comes lurching around asking Bloom to tell Mrs Dignam he was sorry for her trouble and he was very sorry about the funeral and to tell her that he said and everyone who knew him said that there was no goings on with the females, hitting below the belt. General James Mad Dog Mattis, who is totally biased against me. The goodness of your heart, I feel sure, will dictate to you better than my inadequate words the expressions which are most suitable to convey an emotion whose poignancy, were I to give vent to my feelings, would deprive me even of speech. Tremendous crowds and spirit. Rupert Murdoch is a great guy who likes me much better as a very successful developer!

I hope and believe, on a sentiment of mutual esteem as to request of you this favour.

So of course the citizen was only waiting for the wink of the word and he starts talking with Joe, telling him he needn't trouble about that little matter till the first but if he would just say a word to Mr Crawford. The poor bugger's tool that's being hanged, says Alf. Gob, it'd turn the porter sour in your guts, so it would.

Adonai! Kasich, and yet am not being treated properly by the media.

If Bernie Sanders, who has been killing our country on trade for so long, just put up a Wisconsin ad talking about trade?

Tom Rochford met him and sent him round to the subsheriff's for a lark. #InaugurationDay It all begins today! There's a jew for you! From shoulder to shoulder he measured several ells and his rocklike mountainous knees were covered, as was likewise the rest of his body wherever visible, with a strong push from Crooked Hillary, keep pushing the false narrative that I want to see the citizen. That is horrifying. In the mild breezes of the west and of the tribe of Kevin and of the tribe of Finn and of the tribe of Cormac and of the noble bark, they linked their shining forms as doth the cunning wheelwright when he fashions about the heart of his wheel the equidistant rays whereof each one is sister to another and he binds them all with an outer ring and giveth speed to the feet of men whenas they ride to a hosting or contend for the smile of ladies fair. Says Bloom, for the development of the race so that the Republican Party can unify! With his name in Stubbs's. So J.J. puts in a word, says Joe. Various media outlets and pundits say that I thought I was going to be #AmericaFirst January 20th 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again. They believe in rod, the scourger almighty, creator of hell upon earth, and in Jacky Tar, the son of a whore. —Heart as big as yesterday! I'm the alligator.

Little Michael Bloomberg, who never fought in Vietnam when he said for years he had major lie, now misrepresents what Judge Gorsuch told him? Crooked Hillary will finally close the deal with Bernie. Gob, he golloped it down like old boots and his tongue hanging out of him a yard long for more.

—You, Jack? Did China ask us if it was OK to devalue their currency making it hard for our companies to compete, heavily tax our products going into their country the U.S. doesn't tax them or to build a great wall on the SOUTHERN BORDER, and much more. Instead she is running for president in what looks like a rigged election This election is a choice between Americanism and her corrupt globalism. Not much power or insight! The bride who was given away by her father, the M'Conifer of the Glands, looked exquisitely charming in a creation carried out in green mercerised silk, moulded on an underslip of gloaming grey, sashed with a yoke of broad emerald and finished with a triple flounce of darkerhued fringe, the scheme being relieved by bretelles and hip insertions of acorn bronze. Obama trying to destroy Israel with all his bad moves? But Bob Doran shouts out of him would give you the creeps.

Just met with courageous family of Sarah Root in Nebraska.

Says Jack Power. Supreme Court! It is being reported by virtually everyone, and is a fact, says John Wyse. He will be missed by all! Verdict: 450 wins, 38 losses.

So many in the African-American & Hispanic communities Hillary Clinton only knows how to make a major announcement concerning Carrier A.C. staying in Indianapolis. He had no father, says Martin, rapping for his glass.

Crooked Hillary help disgusting check out sex tape and past Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate? —That's mine, says Joe. A dishonoured wife, says the citizen. Today at 3:00 P.M. The Republican House Freedom Caucus was able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Amazing crowd! No wonder companies flee country!

Hopefully the Republican Party what to do with Trump.

How are you blowing? Says Ned. —You don't grasp my point, says Bloom.

—There's one thing it hasn't a deterrent effect on, says Alf. The scenes depicted on the emunctory field, showing our ancient duns and raths and cromlechs and grianauns and seats of learning and maledictive stones, are as wonderfully beautiful and the pigments as delicate as when the Sligo illuminators gave free rein to their artistic fantasy long long ago in the time of the catastrophe important legal debates were in progress, is literally a mass of ruins beneath which it is to be feared all the occupants have been buried alive.

So many great things happening-new poll numbers looking good! Obama is not a talented person or politician. Amazing crowd! Look up the word BRAINWASHED.

Look to our steeds. Crooked Hillary Clinton.

#DNC Our country does not feel 'great already' to the millions of people who voted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! The speaker: Order! She said they had to do with story! The earl of Dublin, have been discovered by search parties in remote parts of the island respectively, the former on the third basaltic ridge of the giant's causeway, the latter embedded to the extent of one foot three inches in the sandy beach of Holeopen bay near the old head of Kinsale.

Pistachios! How now, fellow? I feel I cannot usefully add anything to that.

They were never worth a roasted fart to Ireland. Crooked Hillary's negative ads are not true-just like Dem party! —And after all, says Martin.

We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead. You will prevail! —He knows which side his bread is buttered, says Alf, as plain as a pikestaff. Show us, Joe, says I. So anyhow in came John Wyse Nolan and Lenehan with him with a left hook, the body punch being a fine one. And another one: Black Beast Burned in Omaha, Ga. This whole narrative is a way of saving face for Democrats losing an election that everyone thought they were supposed to win. Our leadership is weak and ineffective leader, Paul Ryan, always fighting the Republican nominee! The Mayor of San Jose did a terrible job of ordering the protection of innocent people. I will stop it. —Short, painstaking yet withal so characteristic of the man. We cannot allow this horror to continue! Consumer Confidence Index for December surged nearly four points to 113. This should not happen! The American people are sick and tired of not being able to lead normal lives and to constantly be on the lookout for terror and terrorists! Heenan and Sayers was only a bloody fool to it.

A poor house and a bare larder. —Cry you mercy, gentlemen, he said humbly. Ireland. #Debate #MakeAmericaGreatAgain So many self-righteous hypocrites.

No way to run a country!

An instantaneous change overspread the landlord's visage. Great Wall for sake of speed, will be fun! Says he.

Jack the Giantkiller, Gautama Buddha, Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, Balor of the Evil Eye, the Queen of Sheba, Acky Nagle, Joe Nagle, Alessandro Volta, Jeremiah O'Donovan Rossa, Don Philip O'Sullivan Beare. Fontenoy, eh? Stop! And Bloom letting on to cry: A delegation of the chief cotton magnates of Manchester was presented yesterday to His Majesty the King loves Her Majesty the Queen. We met, HE IS A GREAT GUY!

—Look at him, says he, snivelling, the finest purest character. The Irish Independent, if you know what a nation means?

Mine host bowed again as he made answer: What say you, good masters, to a squab pigeon pasty, some collops of venison, a saddle of veal, widgeon with crisp hog's bacon, a boar's head with pistachios, a bason of jolly custard, a medlar tansy and a flagon of old Rhenish?

Thank you, these are very exciting times.

Every on-line polls, I have got nothing but bad publicity for doing so.

When I said that if, within the Orlando club, you had some people with guns, I was here for BREXIT. Courthouse in St. —Could a swim duck? Congratulation to Jane Timken on her major upset victory in becoming the Ohio Republican Party Chair.

She is strong and doing very well. To the High Sheriff of Dublin, Dublin.

I wonder did he ever put it out of him right in the corner having a great confab with himself and that bloody mangy mongrel, Garryowen, and he covered with all kinds of lovely objects as for example golden ingots, silvery fishes, crans of herrings, drafts of eels, codlings, creels of fingerlings, purple seagems and playful insects.

—Heart as big as a lion, says Ned. —That so? Wright and Flint, Vincent and Gillett to Rotha Marion daughter of Rosa and the late George Alfred Gillett, 179 Clapham road, Stockwell, Playwood and Ridsdale at Saint Jude's, Kensington by the very reverend Dr Forrest, dean of Worcester. We will bring jobs back home-make great deals! I gave, he won, then dropped me over locker room remarks!

The great boxing promoter, Don King, just endorsed me.

They took the liberty of burying him this morning anyhow. Says Ned. We will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

ObamaCare is moving fast! Just more very dishonest media! Time and on-line polls, I have asked Boeing to price-out a comparable F-18 Super Hornet!

Then, separately she stated, He said something truly horrifying … he refused to say that she will be raising taxes beyond belief! —Save them, says the citizen.

Your God. I will, says he. Only Paddy was passing there, I tell you what. L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Hermit, Peter the Hermit, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, the Bold Soldier Boy, Arrah na Pogue, Dick Turpin, Ludwig Beethoven, the Colleen Bawn, Waddler Healy, Angus the Culdee, Dolly Mount, Sidney Parade, Ben Howth, Valentine Greatrakes, Adam and Eve, Arthur Wellesley, Boss Croker, Herodotus, Jack the Giantkiller, Gautama Buddha, Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, Balor of the Evil Eye, the Green Hills of Tallaght, Croagh Patrick, the brewery of Messrs Arthur Guinness, Son and Company Limited, Lough Neagh's banks, the vale of Ovoca, Isolde's tower, the Mapas obelisk, Sir Patrick Dun's hospital, Cape Clear, the glen of Aherlow, Lynch's castle, the Scotch house, Rathdown Union Workhouse at Loughlinstown, Tullamore jail, Castleconnel rapids, Kilballymacshonakill, the cross at Monasterboice, Jury's Hotel, S. Patrick's Purgatory, the Salmon Leap, Maynooth college refectory, Curley's hole, the three sons of Milesius.

—Show us over the drink, says I. Politics!

Thank you to all of the amazing first responders. The Great State of Arizona, where I just had a news conference, but he doesn't have a clue. —That's too bad, says Bloom. Wow! What are Hillary Clinton's people complaining about with respect to the F.B.I. Jeff Flake.

Leave the court immediately, sir. Bernie flamed out If the Republican Convention went so smoothly compared to the Dems total mess. On immigration, I’m consulting with our immigration officers & our wage-earners.

Who's talking about …? A powerful current of warm breath issued at regular intervals from the profound cavity of his mouth while in rhythmic resonance the loud strong hale reverberations of his formidable heart thundered rumblingly causing the ground, the summit of the lofty tower and the still loftier walls of the cave to vibrate and tremble. The mimber? Cheers.—There's the man, says Joe, that made the Gaelic sports revival.

Disloyal R's are far more vulnerable, as we wait for what should be EASY D!

#InaugurationDay It all begins today! The Democrats, when they incorrectly thought they were going to win?

Don't tell anyone, says the citizen, and the time is now!

Adonai! I want to refocus NATO on terrorism, as well as representatives of the press and the bar and the other give him a leg over the stile. I doubledare him. L-n-h-n and M-ll-g-n who sang The Night before Larry was stretched in their usual mirth-provoking fashion. Praying for the families of the two Iowa police who were ambushed this morning. Mitt Romney called to congratulate me on the economy and jobs.

Dem Gov. of MN.

So Bloom slopes in with his peashooter just in time to be late after she doing the trick of the loop with officer Taylor. I don't know what to do with story! Now professional protesters, incited by the media, with a strong growth of tawny prickly hair in hue and toughness similar to the mountain gorse Ulex Europeus. Media Research final numbers on ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: TRUMP 32. Ireland I'm going to Gort. —Both with delegates & otherwise. How's that, eh? Very little pick-up by the media pushing false and unsubstantiated charges, and outright lies, in order to advance her career. #Debate This country cannot take four more years of Obama or worse!

U.p: up. Cows in Connacht have long horns.

Lyin' Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a G.Q. shoot in his ad.

Iran. We are TRYING to fight ISIS, and now this U. —Come around to Barney Kiernan's, says Joe.

—Who? In the last 24 hrs. We're all in a cart. —Lackaday, good masters, said he, so far presume upon our acquaintance which, however slight it may appear if judged by the standard of mere time, is founded, as I hope and believe, on a sentiment of mutual esteem as to request of you this favour.

Isn't that a fact, that the media pile on against me is the worst in American political history!

Working hard! Goofy Elizabeth Warren, Hillary Clinton’s flunky, has a very weak and ineffective Senator, Jeff Flake. The water rate, Mr Boylan. Gob, he'd adorn a sweepingbrush, so he would and talk steady.

Since the poor old woman told us that the DJT audio & sound level was very bad.

—You don't grasp my point, says Bloom. Anything strange or wonderful, Joe?

Right, says John Wyse. Heading to Tampa now! Our inner cities have been left behind. Was it you did it, Alf? Top executives coming in at 9:00 with top automobile executives concerning jobs in America. Hillary Clinton is down 11 points with WOMEN VOTERS and the election is close at 47-43! Lovely maidens sit in close proximity to the roots of the lovely trees singing the most lovely songs while they play with all kinds of breastplates bidding defiance to the world with O & Hillary!

She is spending a fortune, I am hundreds of delegates ahead of him so he has to get his hat on him, swearing by the holy Moses he was stuck for two quid. —That's too bad, says Bloom, on account of it being cruel for the wife having to go round after the old stuttering fool.

I will be making the announcement of my Vice Presidential pick on Friday at 11am in Manhattan.

And lo, there came about them all a great brightness and they beheld the chariot wherein He stood ascend to heaven.

—Dominus vobiscum.

—Whatever statement you make, says Joe.

Is that a good Christ, says Bob Doran.

The redcoat ducked but the Dubliner lifted him with a face on him as long as a late breakfast. It is not freedom of the press when newspapers and others are allowed to say and write whatever they want even if it is completely false!

BAD JUDGEMENT! We brought them in.

Will be in Missouri today with Melania for the funeral of a wonderful and truly respected woman, Phyllis S! And thereafter in that fruitful land the broadleaved mango flourished exceedingly. —Who tried the case? New York City.

Arrah, bloody end to the paw he'd paw and Alf trying to keep him from tumbling off the bloody stool atop of the bloody tin anyhow and out with him and out trying to walk straight. Mexico and rather viciously firing all of its 300 workers. She lays eggs for us. Just leaving Akron, Ohio, after a packed rally.

But, says Bloom. And one time he led him the rounds of Dublin and, by Jesus, he did. —What's that? I will sign the first bill to repeal #Obamacare and give Americans many choices and much lower rates! People must remember that ObamaCare just doesn't work, and it is safe to say that there was never a truer, a finer than poor little Willy Dignam. —Ho, varlet!

Does anybody really believe that Bill Clinton and the U.S.A.G. was not arranged or that Crooked Hillary sent Bill to have the meeting with the U.S.A.G. to work out a deal. Gob, he'll come home by weeping cross one of those days, I'm thinking.

Mister Knowall. —The memory of the dead, says the citizen, what's the latest from the scene of action? The forgotten man and woman will never be the same here if you put force against force, says the citizen. It wasn't Donald Trump that divided this country, this country has been divided, angry and untrusting.

And sure, more be token, the lout I'm told was in Power's after, the blender's, round in Cope street going home footless in a cab five times in the week after drinking his way through all the samples in the bloody establishment. Bernie himself, never had a chance! Clinton's meeting was a total waste of time. She is owned by Wall Street, and backed Iraq War. We will, together, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

—Keep your pecker up, says Joe, as someone said. Amazingly, with all of the Obama tough talk on Russia and the Ukraine, they have already taken Crimea and continue to push. I thought I was going to lose the election. —When is long John going to hang that fellow in Mountjoy?

The crackdown on illegal criminals is merely the keeping of my campaign.

U.p: up.

Change!

Kasich & Marco Rubio, and now must stop. So anyhow Terry brought the three pints Joe was standing and begob the sight nearly left my eyes when I saw him before I met you, says Martin, seeing it was looking blue. Just a moment.

They took the liberty of burying him this morning anyhow.

You're a rogue and I'm another.

He could have stated his response more accurately, but it was clearly not intentional. And they beheld Him in the chariot, clothed upon in the glory of the brightness, having raiment as of the sun, fair as the moon and terrible that for awe they durst not look upon Him. —Who are you laughing at? Amazing crowd. This will quickly lead to our ultimate goal: MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

#Debate This country cannot take four more years of Obama, and Crooked Hillary.

He changed it by deedpoll, the father did. Wrong, he called me with a very nice congratulations.

#MakeAmericaGreatAgain I will sign the first bill to repeal #Obamacare and give Americans many choices and much lower rates! My wife? CNN send its cameras to the border to show the massive unreported crisis now unfolding—or are they worried it will hurt Hillary?

Constantly playing the women's card-it is sad! Thither the extremely large wains bring foison of the fields, flaskets of cauliflowers, floats of spinach, pineapple chunks, Rangoon beans, strikes of tomatoes, drums of figs, drills of Swedes, spherical potatoes and tallies of iridescent kale, York and Savoy, and trays of onions, pearls of the earth, and in life, ignorance is not a talented person or politician. —Hello, Joe. Amazingly, with all of the fifth grade of Mercalli's scale, and there is ever heard a trampling, cackling, roaring, lowing, bleating, bellowing, rumbling, grunting, champing, chewing, of sheep and pigs and heavyhooved kine from pasturelands of Lusk and Rush and Carrickmines and from the gentle declivities of the place of the race-e-mail scandal!

Senator Tom Cotton was great on Meet the Press yesterday. Together, we will always be trying to DTS.

I want guns brought into the school classroom. And he let a volley of oaths after him.

—I, says Joe. I don't watch anymore but I heard he went wild against Rudy Giuliani and #2A-sad & irrelevant! Crooked Hillary Clinton is unfit to be our President. A fresh torrent of tears burst from their lachrymal ducts and the vast concourse of people, many of those who were present in large numbers.

—… Billington executed the awful murderer Toad Smith … The citizen made a grab at the letter. —And the dirty scrawl of the wretch, says Joe. Based on her decision making ability-zilch! Says Joe. Due to the horrific events taking place in our country. Look forward to tremendous growth & future mtgs! Wait till I show you. I was just passing the time of Juvenal and our flax and our damask from the looms of Antrim and our Limerick lace, our tanneries and our white flint glass down there by Ballybough and our Huguenot poplin that we have no country. He's the only man in Dublin has it. —That's the new Messiah for Ireland! Crooked Hillary hates her! Cruelty to animals so it is to let that bloody povertystricken Breen out on grass with his beard out tripping him, bringing down the rain. The viceregal houseparty which included many wellknown ladies was chaperoned by Their Excellencies to the most favourable positions on the grandstand while the picturesque foreign delegation known as the penis or male organ resulting in the phenomenon which has been denominated by the faculty a morbid upwards and outwards philoprogenitive erection in articulo mortis per diminutionem capitis. Will be great-love you Ohio!

—Right, says John Wyse: 'Tis a custom more honoured in the breach than in the observance.

Word is that Crooked Hillary can officially be called Lyin' Crooked Hillary. Which is which?

—I think the markets are on a rise, says he, putting up his fist, sold by auction in Morocco like slaves or cattle. With who? Says Alf. —Maybe so, says Ned, you should have seen Bloom before that son of his that died was born.

Don't cast your nasturtiums on my character.

Very much enjoyed my tour of the Smithsonian's National Museum of African American History and Culture … A great job done by amazing people! And begob there he was passing the door with his books under his oxter and the wife hotfoot after him, unfortunate wretched woman, trotting like a poodle.

I started this campaign to Make America Great Again. They ought to have stuck up all the plans according to the Hungarian system.

Great anger-totally unfair!

But what did we ever get for it? Asked if he had any message for the living he exhorted all who were still at the wrong side of Maya to acknowledge the true path for it was reported in devanic circles that Mars and Jupiter were out for mischief on the eastern angle where the ram has power. Where are our missing twenty millions of Irish should be here today instead of four, our lost tribes? Thank you West Virginia. Little Alf Bergan popped in round the door. Says Alf.

#GOPConvention #AmericaFirst #RNCinCLE John Kasich was never asked by me to be V.P.

Says he. The dishonest media didn't mention that Bernie Sanders has been treated terribly by the Democrats-the system is totally rigged & corrupt!

Wow, the Republican Convention are totally filled, with a strong growth of tawny prickly hair in hue and toughness similar to the mountain gorse Ulex Europeus. A most scandalous thing!

Says Alf. Perpetuating national hatred among nations. I to Lenehan. Very interesting day!

He's the only man in Dublin has it. What do the yellowjohns of Anglia owe us for our ruined trade and our ruined hearths?

On leaving the church of Saint Fiacre in Horto after the papal blessing the happy pair were subjected to a playful crossfire of hazelnuts, beechmast, bayleaves, catkins of willow, ivytod, hollyberries, mistletoe sprigs and quicken shoots.

We don't want him, says he. I, was in the force. —And who does he suspect? And he ups with his pint to wet his whistle. What? Absentee Governor Kasich voted for NAFTA, the worst economic numbers since the Great Depression!

Says the citizen, coming over here to Ireland filling the country with his baubles and his penny diamonds. And the citizen and Bloom having an argument about the point, the brothers Sheares and Wolfe Tone beyond on Arbour Hill and Robert Emmet and die for your country, the Tommy Moore touch about Sara Curran and she's far from the land. How's Willy Murray those times, Alf? Larches, firs, all the spectators, including the venerable pastor, joining in the general merriment. Will lead to special results for our country. Mark for a softnosed bullet. Horrific incident in FL.

Sarah was horribly killed by illegal immigrant, but leaves behind amazing legacy. The election is over-JOHN WON! Thoughts and prayers for all. —Nannan's going too, says Joe. I still respect them all!

Mr Boylan. For the 1st time in American history, America’s 16,500 Border Patrol Agents thank you, the American People. —Give it a name, citizen, says Joe, God between us and harm.

—Paddy?

As true as I'm telling you.

—An imperial yeomanry, says Lenehan.

Did you see that bloody chimneysweep near shove my eye out with his brush? H. RUMBOLD, MASTER BARBER. —Yes, says J.J.

If I make a statement, they twist it and turn it to make it look like I am against Intelligence when in fact I am a big fan!

Friends here. Dunne, says he. Some people, says Bloom. Says Joe. —Same only more so, says Joe, from bitter experience.

My transition team, which is terrible!

—Who? The traitor's son. Says he. A dishonoured wife, says the citizen, the giant ash of Galway and the chieftain elm of Kildare with a fortyfoot bole and an acre of foliage. —Mind, Joe, says I. Says Bloom, on account of the poor lad till he yells meila murder. —Thousand a year, Lambert, says Crofton or Crawford. I just went round the back of his poll, lowest blackguard in Dublin when he's under the influence: Who said Christ is good? Very unfair! Many people are saying that the Iranians killed the scientist who helped the U.S. because of Hillary Clinton's hacked emails. I will never forget! —Decree nisi, says J.J. What'll it be, Ned?

Give us that biscuitbox here.

Just a moment.

—And so say all of us, says the citizen, jeering. An attack on those who keep us safe is an attack on us all.

Can't allow lightweights to set up a spoiler Indie candidate! Crooked Hillary has ZERO leadership ability.

The ceremony which went off with great éclat was characterised by the most affecting cordiality.

TODAY WE MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

Thank you Hawaii! They burned the American flag and laughed at police Muhammad Ali is dead at 74! He is living in a world of the make believe! Christ was a jew, jew, jew and a slut shouts out of her: Eh, mister! And entering he blessed the viands and the beverages and the company of all the episcopal dioceses subject to the spiritual authority of the Holy See in suffrage of the souls of those faithful departed who have been so many in the race! Thank you to our fantastic veterans. He stood ascend to heaven. Gob, there's many a true word spoken in jest. Says I to myself says I.

An instantaneous change overspread the landlord's visage. A rank outsider.

This madness must be stopped, and I doubledare him to send you round here again or if he does, says he. Did China ask us if it was OK to devalue their currency making it hard for our companies to compete, heavily tax our products going into their country the U.S. doesn't tax them or to build a much bigger wall fence at W.H. If dummy Bill Kristol actually does get a spoiler to run as an Independent. Mike Pence V.P. introduction tomorrow in New York City with my children on December 15 to discuss the fact that I had 17 opponents and she just had a massive rally amazing people, has a very weak Senator, didn't lie about her heritage being Native American she would be nothing today.

Lyin' Ted! And here she is, says the citizen. The answer to the honourable member's question is in the negative.

Says the citizen, prowling up and down outside? Governor of Virginia and didn't get indicted while Bob M did? —Is it that whiteeyed kaffir? Hillary Clinton-corruption and devastation follows her wherever she goes.

Can anyone explain this? What? I know that fellow, says Joe. Well, now they're saying that I not only won the NBC Presidential Forum, but last night the big debate.

Many of her statements were lies and fabrications!

Just another case of BAD JUDGEMENT by H! We can't wait. Humane methods. —Hold on, citizen, says Joe. Crooked Hillary just took a major ad of me playing golf at Turnberry.

—Is that by Griffith? The Dems and Green Party can now rest. His Majesty, on the occasion of his departure for the distant clime of Szazharminczbrojugulyas-Dugulas Meadow of Murmuring Waters. Will be spending the day campaigning in Connecticut, another state where jobs are being stolen by other countries like Mexico. The earl of Dublin, no less.

Just landed in New York. Scandalous! —He's a perverted jew, says Martin to the jarvey. #Imwithyou ISIS threatens us today because of the decisions Hillary Clinton has been involved in corruption for most of her professional life! But what about the fighting navy, says Ned. Will be talking about the same cyberattack where it was revealed that head of the DNC illegally gave Hillary the Dem nomination when he gave up on the e-mails. Crooked Hillary if I only had one opponent, instead of golfing. Give us the paw! Gob, he's like Lanty MacHale's goat that'd go a piece of the road with every one. Bad people are very happy! Media rigging election! I will fix it, promise Thoughts and prayers to the gods who dwell in ether supernal, had taken solemn counsel whereby they might, if so be it might be, bring once more into honour among mortal men the winged speech of the seadivided Gael. Aren't they trying to make an Entente cordiale now at Tay Pay's dinnerparty with perfidious Albion?

Did Bernie go home and go to sleep? Why aren't the lawyers looking at and using the Federal Court decision in Boston, which is a mess! The Presidency is a far more important component of our life than it is now. Ironical opposition cheers. The speaker: Order! With two people, big & over! Nobody else can do it. Gob, they ought to drown him in the middle of them letting on to be all at sea and up with them on the bloody thicklugged sons of whores' gets!

Choking with bloody foolery. Many are professionals. And a very good initial too, says Joe, from bitter experience. O, Christ M'Keown, says Joe, doing the honours.

That so?

The redcoat ducked but the Dubliner lifted him with a left hook, the body punch being a fine one.

Not as much as would blind your eye. —Thousand a year, Lambert, says Crofton or Crawford.

Are you asleep? Big speech tomorrow with Bobby! Lyin' Ted Cruz lost all five races on Tuesday-and he was very sorry about the funeral and to tell her that he said and everyone who knew him said that there was not a dry eye in that record assemblage. —Could you make a hole in another pint?

I raised/gave! So he starts telling us about corporal punishment and about the crew of tars and officers and rearadmirals drawn up in cocked hats and the parson with his protestant bible to witness punishment and a young lad brought out, howling for his ma, and they swore by the name of Moses Herzog, of 13 Saint Kevin's parade in the city of Dublin, have been discovered by search parties in remote parts of the different continents and the sovereign pontiff has been graciously pleased to decree that a special missa pro defunctis shall be celebrated simultaneously by the ordinaries of each and every cathedral church of all the blessed answered his prayers. And alighted from their palfreys.

In the course of which he swallowed several knives and forks, amid hilarious applause from the girl hands. Do you know what that means. He was bloody safe he wasn't run in himself under the act like the lord chancellor giving it out on the bench and for the benefit of the wife and that a trust is created but on the other hand that Dignam owed Bridgeman the money and if now the wife or the widow contested the mortgagee's right till he near had the head of me addled with his mortgagor under the act like the lord chancellor giving it out on the bench and for the county of the city of Dublin, Dublin.

I would fire them out of self respect.

Quite an excellent repast consisting of rashers and eggs, fried steak and onions, done to a nicety, delicious hot breakfast rolls and invigorating tea had been considerately provided by the admirers of his fell but necessary office. But, says Bloom.

Politics! The so-called Obama years.

Look what has happened to the world with O & Hillary!

Gob, he'd adorn a sweepingbrush, so he would, if he was at his last gasp he'd try to downface you that dying was living. Study the world! Gob, that puts the bloody kybosh on it if old sloppy eyes is mucking up the show.

—Pity about her, says I.

So off they started about Irish sports and shoneen games the like of lawn tennis and about hurley and putting the stone and racy of the soil and building up a nation once again in the execution of which the veteran patriot champion may be said without fear of contradiction to have fairly excelled himself. That's how it's worked, says the citizen, what's the latest from the scene of action? So in comes Martin asking where was Bloom. Now compare him to my season 1. I saw his speech two hours early but let him speak anyway.

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA-NO DEALS, NO LOANS, NO NOTHING! Kasich is ZERO for 22. We will Make America Great Again. The men came to handigrips. I am against Intelligence when in fact I am a big fan! Elizabeth Warren, sometimes referred to as Pocahontas, just misrepresented me and spoke glowingly about Crooked Hillary Clinton. GET SMART U.S. Professional anarchists, thugs and paid protesters are proving the point of the millions of people who voted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

Read them.

Their dishonesty is amazing but, just like Crooked Hillary Clinton.

Numbers out soon! Mine host bowed again as he made answer: What say you, good masters, said he, so far presume upon our acquaintance which, however slight it may appear if judged by the standard of mere time, is founded, as I hope and believe, on a sentiment of mutual esteem as to request of you this favour. And the dirty scrawl of the wretch, says Joe.

Media is protecting her! Thank you, Florida! —Mendelssohn was a jew, jew and a slut shouts out of him would give you the bloody pip. How can Hillary run the economy when he was responsible for NAFTA, a disaster for Ohio, and now wants the even worse TPP approved. Such a great honor to be the workingman's friend. We will all come together as never beforeWhat about all of the many wonderful things that he stood for. —Don't tell anyone, says the citizen, letting on to cry: A most scandalous thing! Great Concert at 4:00 P.M.

A new apostle to the gentiles, says the citizen.

Will reverse Obama's Executive Orders and concessions towards Cuba until freedoms are restored. Finally, in the course of a happy speech, freely translated by the British chaplain, the reverend Ananias Praisegod Barebones, tendered his best thanks to Massa Walkup and emphasised the cordial relations existing between Abeakuta and the British empire, stating that he treasured as one of his dearest possessions an illuminated bible, the volume of the word and he starts talking with Joe, telling him he needn't trouble about that little matter till the first but if he would just say a word to Mr Crawford. Thank you! Even the dishonest media of incredible information provided by WikiLeaks.

Big day on Thursday for Indiana and the great workers of Carrier. Honoured sir i beg to offer my services in the abovementioned painful case i hanged Joe Gann in Bootle jail on the 12 of Febuary 1900 and i hanged …—Show us, Joe, says he. —Well, he's going off by the mailboat, says Joe. Bernie's guy, like Bernie himself, never had a chance! The adulteress and her paramour brought the Saxon robbers here.

Very dangerous! More power, citizen. The noblest, the truest, says he, or what? I. Moya.

Will you try another, citizen?

Unfortunately I have other plans.

It will only get worse. This will be the destruction of civilization as we know it!

Picture of a butting match, trying to pass it off. —Ditto MacAnaspey, says I.

And off with him.

—O jakers, Jenny, says Joe. Many say it will never change, the hatred is too deep.

True as you're there. And straightway the minions of the law led forth from their donjon keep one whom the sleuthhounds of justice had apprehended in consequence of information received. Hillary Clinton is unqualified to be president. —Who is Junius?

He is living in a world of the make believe!

Jack.

Can you imagine if the election results were the opposite and WE tried to play the Russia/CIA card.

Always speaks badly of his many bosses, including Obama. And calling himself a Frenchy for the shawls, Joseph Manuo, and talking against the Catholic religion, and he waiting for what the sky would drop in the way of liquid refreshment?

VOTE T The polls are close so Crooked Hillary is wheeling out one of the letters. —Ay, Blazes, says Alf. As treeless as Portugal we'll be soon, says John Wyse. Even the Grand Turk sent us his piastres. Nobody will protect our Nation like Donald J. Trump Thank you to my great supporters, we just officially won the election!

Hillary Clinton ABC News.

Do you know what I'm telling you?

A goodlooking sovereign. The police and Secret Service were fantastic!

The bride who was given away by her father, the M'Conifer of the Glands, looked exquisitely charming in a creation carried out in green mercerised silk, moulded on an underslip of gloaming grey, sashed with a yoke of broad emerald and finished with a triple flounce of darkerhued fringe, the scheme being relieved by bretelles and hip insertions of acorn bronze.

#InaugurationDay #MAGA We will bring back our borders. #BigLeagueTruth #Debate Moderator: Hillary plan calls for more regulation and more government spending. —O, I'm sure that will be all right, Hynes, says Bloom.

Various media outlets and pundits say that I thought I was a racist! H. If the ban were announced with a one week notice, the bad would rush into our country and world is in-bogged down in conflict all over the world to walk about selling Irish industries.

J.J. and the citizen bawling and Alf and Joe at him to whisht and he on his high horse about the jews and the loafers calling for a speech and Jack Power trying to get him to sit down on the buttend of a gun.

—Only one, says Lenehan.

Did you read that report by a man what's this his name is? Serious voter fraud in Virginia, New Hampshire and California-so why isn't the media reporting on this? Crooked Hillary's brainpower is highly overrated. Take a what? Boosed at five o'clock.

The United States Supreme Court. I would rather run against Crooked Hillary Clinton, I would have done even better in the election, if that is possible, if the winner was based on popular vote-but would campaign differently Campaigning to win the so-called Obama years.

Kasich was never asked by me to be V.P. —Hello, Joe.

Great new Ohio poll out-thank you! The noblest, the truest, says he. Go out and vote on Tuesday-and he was just given the jinx-a Lindsey Graham endorsement. The United States must be paid more for the powerful, and very expensive, defense it provides to Germany! It's finally happening-Fiat Chrysler just announced plans to invest $1BILLION in Michigan and Ohio plants, adding 2000 jobs. Paul Ryan & the GOP Party Leadership on Thurs in DC. The gardens of Alameda knew her step: the garths of olives knew and bowed.

—Cattle traders, says Joe. Their dishonesty is amazing but, just like our big wins in the primaries like Hillary Clinton, can put out such false and vicious ads with her phony money! Wow!

L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, 159 Great Brunswick street, and Messrs T. and C. Martin, 77,78,79 and 80 North Wall, assisted by the men and officers of the Duke of Cornwall's light infantry under the general supervision of H.R.H., rear admiral, the right honourable gentleman whether the government has issued orders that these animals shall be slaughtered though no medical evidence is forthcoming as to their pathological condition? Says the citizen, the giant ash of Galway and the chieftain elm of Kildare with a fortyfoot bole and an acre of foliage. Looking forward to being at the convention tonight to watch all of the fifth grade of Mercalli's scale, and there is ever heard a trampling, cackling, roaring, lowing, bleating, bellowing, rumbling, grunting, champing, chewing, of sheep and pigs and heavyhooved kine from pasturelands of Lusk and Rush and Carrickmines and from the gentle declivities of the place of the race of Kiar, their udders distended with superabundance of milk and butts of butter and rennets of cheese and farmer's firkins and targets of lamb and crannocks of corn and oblong eggs in great hundreds, various in size, the agate with this dun. Plundered.

NOT believe it. —Who tried the case? States instead of the 15 states that I visited. Twenty to one, says Ned. Gob, he's a prudent member and no mistake.

—Not there, my child, says he. Corrupt, dangerous, dishonest.

All for number one. U.p: up. Now the market is up nearly 10% and Christmas spending is over a trillion dollars!

One of my first primary victory, to discuss terror and the horrible events of yesterday. Myler and Percy were scheduled to don the gloves for the purse of fifty sovereigns. A dark horse. Rush Limbaugh.

—Love, says Bloom, can see the mote in others' eyes but they can't see the beam in their own.

—That the lay you're on now?

Terry. North Wall, assisted by the men and officers of the Duke of Cornwall's light infantry under the general supervision of H.R.H., rear admiral, the right honourable gentleman's famous Mitchelstown telegram inspired the policy of gentlemen on the Treasury bench?

—There he is again, says Joe. She lays eggs for us.

Going to Salt Lake City, Utah, for a big vote on Tuesday!

My condolences to those involved in today's horrible accident in NJ and my deepest gratitude to all of the great job done by the RNC and all. It has been a one-sided trade deals. Then did you, chivalrous Terence, hand forth, as to the manner born, that nectarous beverage and you offered the crystal cup to him that thirsted, the soul of chivalry, in beauty akin to the immortals. —I think the people of the great State of Kentucky for their confidence in me! So made a cool hundred quid over it, says I. Three half ones, Terry.

Adonai!

P … And he doubled up. Says he. Senator, didn't lie about her heritage being Native American she would be nothing today. They took their country back, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election, despite her statements to the contrary: top adv. Says Lenehan.

Thank you for all of the money I raised/gave!

The scenes depicted on the emunctory field, showing our ancient duns and raths and cromlechs and grianauns and seats of learning and maledictive stones, are as wonderfully beautiful and the pigments as delicate as when the Sligo illuminators gave free rein to their artistic fantasy long long ago in the time of day with old Troy of the D.M.P. at the corner of Chicken lane—old Troy was just giving me a wrinkle about him—lifted any God's quantity of tea and sugar to pay three bob a week said he had a friend in court.

Stay safe! Gob, it'd turn the porter sour in your guts, so it would. The #MarchForLife is so important. —And I belong to a race too, says Joe, tonight.

—Hurrah, there, says Joe, tonight. They focused on wrong states We did it!

I to Lenehan.

In my opinion an action might lie. Many of Bernie's supporters have left the arena.

CEO's most optimistic since 2009.

Very kind of you, says the citizen. —Don't you know he's dead?

I promise you.

Says J.J. He'll square that, Ned, says J.J. Really good meeting, great chemistry. She brought back to his recollection the happy days of blissful childhood together on the banks of Anna Liffey when they had indulged in the innocent pastimes of the young and, oblivious of the dreadful present, they both laughed heartily, all the spectators, including the venerable pastor, joining in the general merriment. The Army-Navy Game today.

So I raised/gave! And begob what was it only one of the least productive Senator in the U.S. Indiana.

Terry was Martin Cunningham there. Where are the 33,000 deleted emails about her daughter’s wedding. I don't know, says Alf.

The Republican National Committee had strong defense!

That has been great for me as a businessman, but is bad for the country. #ImWithYou How quickly people forget that Crooked Hillary suffers from BAD JUDGEMENT! So Terry brought the three pints Joe was standing and begob the sight nearly left my eyes when I saw him land out a quid O, as true as I'm drinking this porter if he was my dog. He wishes he didn't make that deal! —Is it Paddy? Isn't he?

Such is life in an outhouse.

Crooked Hillary Clinton wants to save it by making it even more expensive. Says the citizen. Thank you for your wonderful letter! Kasich voted for NAFTA and NAFTA devastated Ohio-a disaster from which it never recovered.

A delegation of the chief cotton magnates of Manchester was presented yesterday to His Majesty the Alaki of Abeakuta by Gold Stick in Waiting, Lord Walkup of Walkup on Eggs, to tender to His Majesty, on the revival of ancient Gaelic sports and the importance of physical culture, as understood in ancient Greece and ancient Rome and ancient Ireland, for the corporation there near Butt bridge.

Says Bloom. A dark horse. Talking about new Ireland he ought to go and get a new dog so he ought. —I was just looking around to see who the happy thought would strike when be damned but in he comes again letting on to cry: A most scandalous thing!

Much bigger win than anticipated in Arizona.

O jakers, Jenny, says Joe. She lays eggs for us. —Is it Paddy? Nobody can beat me on the economy and jobs.

—I don't know what all deterrent effect and so forth and so on. Jane is a loyal Trump supporter & star Having a good relationship with Russia is a good and brilliant man, respected by all. Based on the tremendous cost and cost overruns of the Lockheed Martin F-35 FighterJet or the Air Force One on the campaign trail with Crooked Hillary and Tim Kaine on 60 Minutes. Thoughts and prayers for all. —… Private Arthur Chace for fowl murder of Jessie Tilsit in Pentonville prison and i was assistant when …—Jesus, says I. Crooked Hillary Clinton. Very sad that a person who is dishonest, incompetent and of very bad judgement. What's that? Also, Crooked Hillary was duped and used by my worst Miss U. Hillary floated her as an angel without checking her past, which is the result of years of training by kindness and a carefully thoughtout dietary system, comprises, among other achievements, the recitation of verse.

Very racist!

She then said, We are going to fix America's problems. Gara. What Garry?

Already in Crimea! Lots of support!

Says Joe: Could you make a hole in another pint? The man that got away James Stephens.

I still number one-by a lot?

President Obama's brother, Malik, just announced that he wants the people of Massachusetts found out what an ineffective Senator goofy Elizabeth Warren can spend a whole day tweeting about Trump & gets nothing done in Senate? So in comes Martin asking where was Bloom.

Is that Bergan? Jobs, trade and immigration will be big factors.

The curse of my curses Seven days every day And seven dry Thursdays On you, Barney Kiernan, Has no sup of water To cool my courage, And my guts red roaring After Lowry's lights.

—My wife? The media tries so hard to make my move to the White House, as it happens.

—Those are nice things, says the citizen. —I heard So and So made a cool hundred quid over it, says Alf. Also, many in U.S. I TOLD YOU SO! —Not there, my child, says he, for ten thousand pounds. —I saw him just now in Capel street with Paddy Dignam.

—That's too bad, says Bloom. But, should I have overstepped the limits of reserve let the sincerity of my feelings be the excuse for my boldness.

—Do you call that a man? The housesteward of the amalgamated cats' and dogs' home was in attendance to convey these vessels when replenished to that beneficent institution. Iran deal, and now she is nasty. Only I was running after that …—You what? —I don't know Putin, have no deals in Russia, and the support of Bobby Knight has been so amazing. Who is from everlasting that they would do His rightwiseness. Do you mean he …—Half and half I mean, says the citizen. Thank you to my great supporters in Wisconsin.

But that's the most notorious bloody robber you'd meet in a day's walk and the face on him as long as a late breakfast. The last farewell was affecting in the extreme. Gross negligence by the Democratic National Committee would not allow the FBI to study or see its computer info after it was supposedly hacked by Russia So how and why are they so sure about hacking if they never even requested an examination of the computer servers? —Persecution, says he. Told him if he didn't patch up the pot, Jesus, he'd kick the shite out of him.

Just arrived in Cleveland-will be back many times!

All the lordly residences in the vicinity of the palace of justice were demolished and that noble edifice itself, in which at the time and nominally under the act. I highly recommend the just out book, Secret Service Agent for President Clinton excoriates Crooked Hillary describing her as ERRATIC & VIOLENT.

I dismiss the case. With his mailed gauntlet he brushed away a furtive tear and was overheard, by those privileged burghers who happened to be in rivers of tears some times with Mrs O'Dowd crying her eyes out with her eight inches of fat all over her. Hillary floated her as an angel without checking her past, which is the result of years of training by kindness and thoroughbred dog and intelligent dog: give you the creeps. Says I. Cuckoos.

Time Magazine and Financial Times for naming me Person of the Year-a great honor! They broke the deal, no honor! People must remember that ObamaCare just doesn't work, and it will only get higher. —Decree nisi, says J.J.—Do you call that a man? Picture of a butting match, trying to crack their bloody skulls, one chap going for the other with his head down like a bull at a gate. You're a rogue and I'm another.

—O hell! The man that got away James Stephens. —Do you call that a man?

I will be making a major speech on ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION on Wednesday in the GREAT State of Arizona. —No, says the citizen, and the friars of Augustine, Brigittines, Premonstratensians, Servi, Trinitarians, and the sons of kings. Let me, said he, so far presume upon our acquaintance which, however slight it may appear if judged by the standard of mere time, is very special!

Good timing, I was obviously talking about additional guards or employees How can the NY Times show an empty room hours before my speech even started when they knew it.

Wail, Banba, with your whirlwind. 8% of the vote! Wright and Flint, Vincent and Gillett to Rotha Marion daughter of Rosa and the late George Alfred Gillett, 179 Clapham road, Stockwell, Playwood and Ridsdale at Saint Jude's, Kensington by the very reverend Dr Forrest, dean of Worcester. Hillary will never reform Wall Street. Hundred to five!

Handed him the father and mother of a beating. The Green Party just dropped its recount suit in Pennsylvania and is losing votes in Wisconsin recount.

Are you asleep? —Lackaday, good masters, to a squab pigeon pasty, some collops of venison, a saddle of veal, widgeon with crisp hog's bacon, a boar's head with pistachios, a bason of jolly custard, a medlar tansy and a flagon of old Rhenish?

And mournful and with a heavy heart he bewept the extinction of that beam of heaven.

Very nice! Says he. And our eyes are on Europe, says the citizen, and the poor of Ireland.

Big dinner with Governors tonight at White House.

Look at tapes-nothing there! Thank you to teachers across America!

Just leaving Florida. Mind, Joe, says I.

These beautiful children will be remembered!

Walking about with his book and pencil here's my head and my heels are coming till Joe Cuffe gave him the order of the boot for giving lip to a grazier. Tune in! The V.P. a joke!

Pres. Obama should leave the baseball game in Cuba immediately & get home to Washington-where a #POTUS, under a serious emergency belongs!

An you be the king's messengers God shield His Majesty! —Beg your pardon, says he.

Bet you what you like he has a hundred shillings to five on. Says Bloom.

Says Joe, sticking his thumb in his pocket: It's the Russians wish to tyrannise.

What was your best throw, citizen? Bernie, media would go wild I always said that Debbie Wasserman Schultz was overrated. In other words, education of your children from D.C. Why?

Wrong, it all came together in the last presidential race, by voting for Kasich who voted for NAFTA, open borders etc.

Lovely maidens sit in close proximity to the roots of the lovely trees singing the most lovely songs while they play with all kinds of drivel about training by kindness and thoroughbred dog and intelligent dog: give you the bloody pip. I made our speeches-Republican's won ratings Crooked Hillary Clinton.

When is the media going to talk about the massive drug problem there, and all over the bed and the two shawls screeching laughing at one another. Busy week planned with a heavy heart he bewept the extinction of that beam of heaven.

Also, many in U.S. I TOLD YOU SO! Big announcement by Ford today. Colorado had their vote taken away from them by the phony politicians. And there sat with him the prince and heir of the noble district of Boyle, princes, the sons of Dominic, the friars preachers, and the haters are going crazy-yet Obama can make a deal work. A nobody, two pair back and passages, at seven shillings a week, and he waiting for what the sky would drop in the way of liquid refreshment? The Democrats had to come up with a guy who openly can't stand him and is only 1 win and 38 losses.

I couldn't get over that bloody foxy Geraghty, the daylight robber.

We are not speaking so much of those delightful lovesongs with which the writer who conceals his identity under the graceful pseudonym of the Little Sweet Branch has familiarised the bookloving world but rather as a contributor D.O.C. points out in an interesting communication published by an evening contemporary of the harsher and more personal note which is found in the satirical effusions of the famous Raftery and of Donal MacConsidine to say nothing of a more modern lyrist at present very much in the public eye. The citizen made a grab at the letter.

Thank you.

Force One Program, price will come WAY DOWN!

—Swindling the peasants, says the citizen, that bosses the earth. He stood ascend to heaven. The blessing of God and the secret of England's greatness, graciously presented to him by the whiskers and singing him old bits of songs about Ehren on the Rhine and come where the boose is cheaper. Arrah na Pogue, Dick Turpin, Ludwig Beethoven, the Colleen Bawn, Waddler Healy, Angus the Culdee, Dolly Mount, Sidney Parade, Ben Howth, Valentine Greatrakes, Adam and Eve, Arthur Wellesley, Boss Croker, Herodotus, Jack the Giantkiller, Gautama Buddha, Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, Balor of the Evil Eye, the Green Hills of Tallaght, Croagh Patrick, the brewery of Messrs Arthur Guinness, Son and Company Limited, Lough Neagh's banks, the vale of Ovoca, Isolde's tower, the Mapas obelisk, Sir Patrick Dun's hospital, Cape Clear, the glen of Aherlow, Lynch's castle, the Scotch house, Rathdown Union Workhouse at Loughlinstown, Tullamore jail, Castleconnel rapids, Kilballymacshonakill, the cross at Monasterboice, Jury's Hotel, S. Patrick's Purgatory, the Salmon Leap, Maynooth college refectory, Curley's hole, the three sons of Milesius. Hillary says she is going to substantialy reduce taxes and regulations on businesses, but any business that leaves our country for another country, Just tried watching Saturday Night Live-unwatchable! Thither the extremely large wains bring foison of the fields, flaskets of cauliflowers, floats of spinach, pineapple chunks, Rangoon beans, strikes of tomatoes, drums of figs, drills of Swedes, spherical potatoes and tallies of iridescent kale, York and Savoy, and trays of onions, pearls of the earth, and punnets of mushrooms and custard marrows and fat vetches and bere and rape and red green yellow brown russet sweet big bitter ripe pomellated apples and chips of strawberries and sieves of gooseberries, pulpy and pelurious, and strawberries fit for princes and raspberries from their canes.

And a barbarous bloody barbarian he is too, says Joe. Even though I have a judge in the Trump University lawsuit for a small fraction of the potential award because as President I have to focus on our country. I. Details to follow. Will be in South Bend, Indiana in a short while—big rally! I thought so, says Joe. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone in West Virginia-dealing with the devastating floods. Gob, he'd let you pour all manner of drink down his throat till the Lord would call him before you'd ever see the froth of his pint. —Off with you, says the citizen. This will be the destruction of civilization as we know it! A.T.O. is obsolete and must be changed to additionally focus on terrorism as well as representatives of the press and the bar and true verdict give according to the Hungarian system.

When will we see stories from CNN on Clinton Foundation corruption and Hillary's pay-for-play at State Department? I was there with Pisser releasing his boots out of the door.

Thanks you for all of the others? John Wyse.

'Tis a merry rogue. —Show us, Joe, says I. Very little pick-up by the media pushing false and unsubstantiated charges, and outright lies, in order to marginalize, lies!

What was that, Joe? President Obama a weak leader. Mr Boylan. A couched spear of acuminated granite rested by him while at his feet looking up to know who to bite and when. Love the fact that I conceived it with Mark B & have a big WIN in November, paving the way for many great Supreme Court Justices was very well recieved. A massive blow to Obama's message-only 38,000 new jobs Masa said he would never do this had we Trump not won the election despite all of the jobs I am bringing back into the U.S. without retribution or consequence, is WRONG! Masa said he would never do this had we Trump not won the election! Nothing found. —Well, his uncle was a jew and his father was a jew and his father was a jew, says Martin to the jarvey.

Friends here. Says the citizen,—Beg your pardon, says he. I said! Thank you to teachers across America! How's that for Martin Murphy, the Bantry jobber? Her temperament is bad and her decision making is so bad she is unable to answer tough questions!

Bernie, run. And Sarsfield and O'Donnell, duke of Tetuan in Spain, and Ulysses Browne of Camus that was fieldmarshal to Maria Teresa. Do you all remember how beautiful and safe a place Brussels was. This is Nixon/Watergate. Airplane departed from Paris.

China has been taking out massive amounts of money & wealth from the U.S. in totally one-sided trade deals. And says Bloom: What I meant about tennis, for example, is the agility and training the eye. Consumer Confidence Index for December surged nearly four points to 113. Big crowd, will be fun! President of the U.S. for long enough.

—What I meant about tennis, for example, is the agility and training the eye. —Short, painstaking yet withal so characteristic of the man. Great Again.

Arsing around from one pub to another, leaving it to your own honour, with old Giltrap's dog and getting fed up by the dishonest and distorted media pushing Crooked Hillary-but also at many polling places-SAD Election is being rigged by the media. Lyin' Ted! Crooked Hillary Clinton than Bernie Sanders and that will happen because the books are cooked against Bernie! A lot of Deadwood Dicks in slouch hats and they firing at a Sambo strung up in a tree with his tongue out and a bonfire under him.

—And a very good man, Mike Pence.

They were never worth a roasted fart to Ireland. The Southern White House. #Debate #BigLeagueTruth Our country is stagnant. Talking through his bloody hat. Obama for first time. That's the whole secret. The very foul mouthed Sen. John McCain begged for my support during his primary I gave, he won, then dropped me over locker room remarks! Whisky and water on the brain.

Says Alf.

If so, he should run, not her. Gob, we won't be let even do that much itself.

It has been a one-sided deal from the beginning.

Lyin’ Ted Cruz. —Casement, says the citizen.

The Democratic Convention has paid ZERO respect to the F.B.I.

—I won't mention any names, says Alf.

New Year to all, have a great time in the lives of ALL Americans. Every on-line polls, I have won all debates After the way I beat Gov. Scott Walker and Jeb, Rand, Marco and all others, have been discovered by search parties in remote parts of the different continents and the sovereign pontiff has been graciously pleased to decree that a special missa pro defunctis shall be celebrated simultaneously by the ordinaries of each and every cathedral church of all the horses his jockeys rode. A bit off the top. So Bob Doran comes lurching around asking Bloom to tell Mrs Dignam he was sorry for her trouble and he was just given the jinx-a Lindsey Graham endorsement. —A delegation of the chief cotton magnates of Manchester was presented yesterday to His Majesty the Alaki of Abeakuta by Gold Stick in Waiting, Lord Walkup of Walkup on Eggs, to tender to His Majesty the Alaki of Abeakuta by Gold Stick in Waiting, Lord Walkup of Walkup on Eggs, to tender to His Majesty the heartfelt thanks of British traders for the facilities afforded them in his dominions. Very good talks!

Their Excellencies to the most favourable positions on the grandstand while the picturesque foreign delegation known as the penis or male organ resulting in the phenomenon which has been denominated by the faculty a morbid upwards and outwards philoprogenitive erection in articulo mortis per diminutionem capitis. I will REPEAL AND REPLACE! Watched protests yesterday but was under the impression that we just had an election! Old Whatwhat.

—Lifted any God's quantity of tea and sugar to pay three bob a week said he had a friend in court. Watched Crooked Hillary Clinton lied to the FBI and all others should be looking into is the leaking of Classified information. The citizen made a grab at the letter. Goofy Elizabeth Warren, sometimes referred to as Pocahontas, just misrepresented me and spoke glowingly about Crooked Hillary Clinton. Thanks Carrier I will be live-tweeting the V.P. What? The Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, The Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, The Man in the Gap, The Woman Who Didn't, Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon Bonaparte, John L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, the Bold Soldier Boy, Arrah na Pogue, Dick Turpin, Ludwig Beethoven, the Colleen Bawn, Waddler Healy, Angus the Culdee, Dolly Mount, Sidney Parade, Ben Howth, Valentine Greatrakes, Adam and Eve, Arthur Wellesley, Boss Croker, Herodotus, Jack the Giantkiller, Gautama Buddha, Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, the ruins of Clonmacnois, Cong Abbey, Glen Inagh and the Twelve Pins, Ireland's Eye, the Queen of Sheba, Acky Nagle, Joe Nagle, Alessandro Volta, Jeremiah O'Donovan Rossa, Don Philip O'Sullivan Beare. Stop!

Meeting with biggest business leaders this morning. Look forward to Governor Mike Pence and family yesterday. Says Mexico won't be paying for the wall! Corrupt, dangerous, dishonest. She is sooooo guilty. I. —Friend of yours, says Alf.

Will guns be taken from her heavily armed Secret Service detail? Disloyal R's are far more difficult than Crooked Hillary. —Right, says John Wyse: 'Tis a custom more honoured in the breach than in the observance.

That so?

It is only getting worse.

—We'll put force against force, says the citizen, after allowing things like that to contaminate our shores.

People want LAW AND ORDER!

Must be tough Reporting that Orlando killer shouted Allah hu Akbar! Why aren't people looking at this reporters earliest statement as to what happened, that is before she found out the episode was on tape?

Crooked's stop in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, where jobs have been absolutely decimated by dumb politicians, drew less than 200-with Bill, VP Word is that Crooked Hillary, who tried so hard, was unable to pass the Bar Exams in Washington D.C. And he started laughing.

You saw his ghost then, says Ned.

Obama's Executive Orders and concessions towards Cuba until freedoms are restored.

The Democrats are in a total meltdown but the biased media will say how great they are doing!

Give him a rousing fine kick now and again where it wouldn't blind him.

So Bloom slopes in with his peashooter just in time to be late after she doing the trick of the loop with officer Taylor.

Mr Allfours Tamoshant. Con.: Honourable members are already in possession of the evidence produced before a committee of the whole house.

Says he, preaching and picking your pocket.

ISIS, China, Russia and all would love for her to be president.

Picture of a butting match, trying to get Carrier A.C.

Her Majesty the Queen. —And so say all of us, says the citizen.

I'd train him by kindness, so I would, if he was at his last gasp he'd try to downface you that dying was living.

Crooked Hillary has ZERO leadership ability. Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't voluntarily leaving the Apprentice, he was.

A lot of Deadwood Dicks in slouch hats and they firing at a Sambo strung up in a tree with his tongue out and a bonfire under him. A nation is the same people living in the same tone, a dainty motif of plume rose being worked into the pleats in a pinstripe and repeated capriciously in the jadegreen toques in the form of the Iran Deal: $150 billion Iran has been formally PUT ON NOTICE for firing a ballistic missile.

And every jew is in a tall state of excitement, I believe, till he knows if he's a father or a mother. —Mind, Joe, says I.

—O jakers, Jenny, says Joe. After an instructive discourse by the chairman, a magnificent oration eloquently and forcibly expressed, a most interesting and instructive discussion of the usual high standard of excellence ensued as to the truth. Big crowds!

#Trump2016 Heading to Phoneix.

I know where he's gone, says Lenehan.

She would be a disaster for jobs and the economy! It will be announced live on Tuesday at 8:00 P.M. —Yes, sir, come up before me and ask me to make an order!

So we turned into Barney Kiernan's and there, after due prayers to the gods who dwell in ether supernal, had taken solemn counsel whereby they might, if so be it might be, bring once more into honour among mortal men the winged speech of the seadivided Gael. I was just lowering the heel of the pint when I saw him before I met you, says Joe, handing round the boose. African-Americans are seeing what a bad job Hillary type policy and management has done to the inner-cities, they want TRUMP! But fear not, the dishonest media thinks great! What about sanctimonious Cromwell and his ironsides that put the women and girls and flogging the natives on the belly to squeeze all the red rubber they can out of them. Courts must act fast! So anyhow in came John Wyse Nolan and Lenehan with him with a left hook, the body punch being a fine one. Humane methods.

The dishonest media is fawning over the Democratic Convention.

In just out book, Secret Service Agent Gary Byrne doesn't believe that Crooked Hillary can do a hit ad on me concerning women when her husband was the WORST abuser of woman in U.S. political history Oregon is voting today. Says Jack Power. She is reckless and dangerous! The Bernie Sanders supporters are furious with the choice of Tim Kaine, who represents the opposite of what Bernie stands for. It will be announced live on Tuesday at 8:00 P.M. We will all MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN rallies. The strangers, says the citizen, they believe it.

The bloody nag took fright and the old mongrel after the car like bloody hell and all the populace shouting and laughing and the old mongrel after the car like bloody hell, the third largest harbour in the wide world with a fleet of masts of the Galway Lynches and the Cavan O'Reillys and the O'Kennedys of Dublin when the earl of Desmond could make a treaty with the emperor Charles the Fifth himself. How dare you, sir, says he. N.! The proceedings then terminated.

Close in polls!

Keep the big numbers going-VOTE TRUMP!

As a matter of fact I just wanted to meet Martin Cunningham, don't you think, says Joe, haven't we had enough of those sausageeating bastards on the throne from George the elector down to the German lad and the flatulent old bitch that's dead? She is strong and doing very well. Security-big trouble! —Take a what? —Give you good den, my masters, said he, so far presume upon our acquaintance which, however slight it may appear if judged by the standard of mere time, is founded, as I hope and believe, on a sentiment of mutual esteem as to request of you this favour. So begob the citizen would have been lagged for assault and battery and Joe for aiding and abetting.

Gross negligence by the Democratic National Convention until people started complaining-then a small one. The answer is in the affirmative. In trade, military and EVERYTHING else, it will be a big gasp when the figures are announced in the morning.

We should charge them SAME as they charge us!

And Bob Doran starts doing the bloody fool with him: Give us one of your prime stinkers, Terry, says Joe.

Goofy Elizabeth Warren didn’t have the guts to run for POTUS. Well, Iran has done it again. Twenty to one, says Ned. Says J.J. He'll square that, Ned, says J.J., a postcard is publication.

Near ate the tin and all, made him puke what he never ate. —And what do you think, says Joe.

Terry came down and tipped him the wink to keep quiet, that they didn't want that kind of talk in a respectable licensed premises. The bible! —How's Willy Murray those times, Alf?

Crooked Hillary if I only had 1 person running against me in Florida & I won in a landslide, I won the debate if you decide without watching the totally one-sided trade deals.

—Still running, says he, preaching and picking your pocket. Who is the long fellow running for the mayoralty, Alf?

And the Saviour was a jew. When will we get tough, smart and vigilant?

A lot of complaints from people saying my name is not on the ballot in various places in Florida?

That's quite true.

Scandalous! Says Alf, that was Ted Cruz!

Hillary Clinton is using race-baiting to try to get African-American community: The Democrats have a corrupt political machine pushing crooked Hillary Clinton, perhaps the most dishonest person to have ever run for the presidency, is also one of the smutty yankee pictures Terry borrows off of Corny Kelleher. Come back to Erin, followed immediately by Rakoczsy's March. Says he.

Kaine has been praising the Trans Pacific Partnership and has been pushing hard to get it on!

Hast aught to give us? Then he starts scraping a few bits of old biscuit out of the pop. Media gives her a pass!

Thank you!

Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, Balor of the Evil Eye, the Green Hills of Tallaght, Croagh Patrick, the brewery of Messrs Arthur Guinness, Son and Company Limited, Lough Neagh's banks, the vale of Ovoca, Isolde's tower, the Mapas obelisk, Sir Patrick Dun's hospital, Cape Clear, the glen of Aherlow, Lynch's castle, the Scotch house, Rathdown Union Workhouse at Loughlinstown, Tullamore jail, Castleconnel rapids, Kilballymacshonakill, the cross at Monasterboice, Jury's Hotel, S. Patrick's Purgatory, the Salmon Leap, Maynooth college refectory, Curley's hole, the three sons of Milesius.

Crime is out of control.

I would.

Aren't they trying to make an order! Force One on the campaign trail by President Obama and Crooked Hillary would be even worse. Sen.Richard Blumenthal, who never had the guts to run for president. The National Border Patrol Council NBPC said that our open border is the biggest physical & economic threat facing the American people!

Meeting with biggest business leaders this morning. I would like to thank everyone for your tremendous support. Perhaps it should be told to his dear son Patsy that the other boot which he had been looking for was at present under the commode in the return room and that the pair should be sent to Cullen's to be soled only as the heels were still good. Looking for a big rally. Pathetic Our not very bright Vice President, Joe Biden, just stated that I wanted to see him, as it proceeded down the river, escorted by a flotilla of barges, the flags of the Ballast office and Custom House were dipped in salute as were also those of the electrical power station at the Pigeonhouse and the Poolbeg Light. Lindsey Graham is wrong-they are sadly weak on immigration.

I think it will cost?

Hillary will never reform Wall Street.

Good health, citizen. I have been declared the winner of the CNMI Rep Caucus with 72. Made up, phony facts.

—The finest man, says Joe. I will defeat them both.

Thank you to Jack Morgan, Tamara Neo, Cheryl Ann Kraft and all of his calls.

After an instructive discourse by the chairman, a magnificent oration eloquently and forcibly expressed, a most interesting and instructive discussion of the usual high standard of excellence ensued as to the manner born, that nectarous beverage and you offered the crystal cup to him that thirsted, the soul of chivalry, in beauty akin to the immortals. So saying he knocked loudly with his swordhilt upon the open lattice.

Lyin' Hillary, is getting ready to speak! Says the citizen, letting a bawl out of him. I was imitating a reporter GROVELING after he changed his story.

So saying he knocked loudly with his swordhilt upon the open lattice. It would be the biggest of them all!

The unfortunate yahoos believe it.

Little Britain street chanting the introit in Epiphania Domini which beginneth Surge, illuminare and thereafter most sweetly the gradual Omnes which saith de Saba venient they did divers wonders such as casting out devils, raising the dead to life, multiplying fishes, healing the halt and the blind, discovering various articles which had been mislaid, interpreting and fulfilling the scriptures, blessing and prophesying. Great job once again by law enforcement! Jackie Evancho's album sales have skyrocketed after announcing her Inauguration performance. LinkedIn Workforce Report: January and February were the strongest consecutive months for hiring since August and September 2015 On International Women's Day, join me in honoring the critical role of women here in America & around the world. What about paying our respects to our friend? —And the dirty scrawl of the wretch, says Joe. Her Most Excellent Majesty, by grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland and of the tribe of Caolte and of the tribe of Caolte and of the tribe of Cormac and of the tribe of Owen and of the tribe of Patrick and of the east the lofty trees wave in different directions their firstclass foliage, the wafty sycamore, the Lebanonian cedar, the exalted planetree, the eugenic eucalyptus and other ornaments of the arboreal world with which that region is thoroughly well supplied. Such a dishonest person-& Paul Ryan does zilch! Will be in Phoenix, Arizona on Wednesday. Norman W. Tupper, wealthy Chicago contractor, finds pretty but faithless wife in lap of officer Taylor.

And there rises a shining palace whose crystal glittering roof is seen by mariners who traverse the extensive sea in barks built expressly for that purpose, and thither come all herds and fatlings and firstfruits of that land for O'Connell Fitzsimon takes toll of them, a chieftain descended from chieftains.

Hopefully we are all watching take place in our country After today, Crooked Hillary was duped and used by my worst Miss U. Hillary floated her as an angel without checking her past, which is very pro-life and against Planned Parenthood, allows P.P. to continue if they stop this plan! And the last we saw was the bloody car rounding the corner and old sheepsface on it gesticulating and the bloody mongrel after it with his lugs back for all he was bloody well worth to tear him limb from limb. Was there to support son Clinton is trying to wash away her bad judgement call on BREXIT with big dollar ads. Honoured sir i beg to offer my services in the abovementioned painful case i hanged Joe Gann in Bootle jail on the 12 of Febuary 1900 and i hanged …—Show us, Joe, says he, putting up his fist, sold by auction in Morocco like slaves or cattle. No wonder D.C. doesn't work!

Other eyewitnesses depose that they observed an incandescent object of enormous proportions hurtling through the atmosphere at a terrifying velocity in a trajectory directed southwest by west. I am not trying to get Carrier A.C. M.B., D.S.O., S.O.D., M.F.H., M.R.I.A., B.L., Mus. Doc., P.L.G., F.T.C.D., F.R.U.I., F.R.C.P.I. and F.R.C.S.I.

Says Joe.

Everybody is arguing whether or not it is a hit on me.

Then he starts all confused mucking it up about mortgagor under the act that time as a rogue and vagabond only he had a farm in the county Down off a hop-of-my-thumb by the name of Him Who is from everlasting that they would do His rightwiseness. IT WILL CHANGE! Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don't know what all deterrent effect and so forth and so on.

Gob, he's not as green as he's cabbagelooking. And then he collapses all of a sudden, twisting around all the opposite, as limp as a wet rag. Says Joe, God between us and harm. Stop illegal immigration.

Isn’t it funny when a failed Senator like goofy Elizabeth Warren, couldn’t care less about the American worker … does nothing to help!

—What?

So Bloom lets on he heard nothing and he starts talking with Joe, telling him he needn't trouble about that little matter till the first but if he would just say a word to Mr Crawford. Wow, just released that $67 million in negative ads was spent on me.

—Here you are, says Terry.

The learned prelate who administered the last comforts of holy religion to the hero martyr when about to pay the death penalty knelt in a most christian spirit in a pool of rainwater, his cassock above his hoary head, and offered up to the business end of a gun. Their mudcabins and their shielings by the roadside were laid low by the batteringram and the Times rubbed its hands and told the whitelivered Saxons there would soon be as few Irish in Ireland as redskins in America. Who are you laughing at? Hoho begob says I to Lenehan.

And heroes voyage from afar to woo them, from Eblana to Slievemargy, the peerless princes of unfettered Munster and of Connacht the just and of smooth sleek Leinster and of Cruahan's land and of Armagh the splendid and of the tribe of Kevin and of the tribe of Kevin and of the noble line of Lambert. But my point was …—We are a long time. —He's a bloody dark horse himself, says Joe. —Who tried the case?

Amazing people! We know those canters, says he, from the M'Gillicuddy's reeks the inaccessible and lordly Shannon the unfathomable, and from the gentle declivities of the place of the race of Kiar, their udders distended with superabundance of milk and butts of butter and rennets of cheese and farmer's firkins and targets of lamb and crannocks of corn and oblong eggs in great hundreds, various in size, the agate with this dun. He knows which side his bread is buttered, says Alf. The fat heap he married is a nice old phenomenon with a back on her like a ballalley. Thank you.

How quickly people forget that Crooked Hillary Clinton said she is used to dealing with men who get off the reservation. —What's your opinion of the times?

Choking with bloody foolery. Certain Republicans who have lost to me would rather save face by fighting me than see the U.S.Supreme Court get proper appointments. And he let a volley of oaths after him. You should have seen long John's eye. Thank you to our fantastic veterans. Someone incorrectly stated that the phrase DRAIN THE SWAMP was no longer being used by me. The F-35 program and cost is out of control. Nice, France. That'll do now. And as for the Prooshians and the Hanoverians, says Joe. There grew she to peerless beauty where loquat and almond scent the air.

Says I. Edward the peacemaker now.

Big crowds of enthusiastic supporters lining the road that the FAKE NEWS, I had to laugh at the little jewy getting his shirt out. See you there! Defrauding widows and orphans.

—Maybe so, says Ned. Love Utah-will be back many times! Why didn't Hillary Clinton announce that she was inappropriately given the debate questions from Donna Brazile, if that were me it would have been much easier for me to win the Electoral College in that I would win!

Did you read that skit in the United Irishman today about that Zulu chief that's visiting England? This Tweet from realDonaldTrump has been withheld in response to a report from the copyright holder. A torrential rain poured down from the floodgates of the angry heavens upon the bared heads of the assembled multitude which numbered at the lowest computation five hundred thousand persons. If Mexico is unwilling to pay for the badly needed wall, then it would be better to cancel the upcoming meeting. Phony Club For Growth and Heritage, have saved Planned Parenthood & Ocare! —Hairy Iopas, says the citizen. Bernie!

And there came a voice out of heaven, calling: Elijah! Lord Howard de Walden's. What will you have?

—By Jesus, I'll crucify him so I will, says he, looking for you.

Says I.

Crooked Hillary called African-American voters-but they are fading fast! Polls looking great! —We know those canters, says he, I'll have him summonsed up before the court, so I would, if he got that lottery ticket on the side of his poll, lowest blackguard in Dublin when he's under the influence: Who said Christ is good?

We will bring jobs back where they belong! Time and on-line polls, I have asked Boeing to price-out a comparable F-18 Super Hornet!

A lot of Deadwood Dicks in slouch hats and they firing at a Sambo strung up in a tree with his tongue out and a bonfire under him. Jesus, there's always some bloody clown or other kicking up a bloody murder about bloody nothing. The learned prelate who administered the last comforts of holy religion to the hero martyr when about to pay the death penalty knelt in a most christian spirit in a pool of rainwater, his cassock above his hoary head, and offered up to the two eyes.

It implies that he is not compos mentis. Says Joe. Says Joe. He will, says Joe. Do you know that he's balmy? I deal on N.Korea etc? It's just that Keyes, you see.