#the ONLY lethan is Leon Kennedy & Ethan Winters

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

government assigned roomate AU

[vaszametili]

Gone Hunting [ao3] fanart 🥰

[khaotaen]

thanks coleslawcolt on twitter i do nothing but steal ideas

[rulesofbloodshed]

To trihedaburden and alltid-og-for-evig (aka 2 cringy Legacies + Non-Resident Evil Fans)...

This is for you buddy

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Breaking Ground

Read on Ao3

Warnings: panic attacks (sort of), major character death (but it's ethan and we all know this man is atrocious at staying dead)

Pairings: past mia/ethan, implied chris/ethan (and maybe chreon or lethan)

Word Count: 5830

"Rose, this is Leon. He's gonna be helping train you." Rosemary Winters meets Leon S. Kennedy. Chris Redfield remembers Ethan's final moments. Something in Romania breathes.

"Rose?"

"I'm coming." She falls into step behind Chris as he walks through to the training rooms. She eyes the 'subtle' guards filing toward the upper levels and barely resists the urge to roll her eyes.

"Remember how I said they want you training with people who aren't me and the rest of the squad?"

"It's not gonna be another asshole whose nose I have to break, is it?"

Instead of scolding her or even glancing over his shoulder, Chris…huffs a laugh? "I don't think so, but I doubt he'd hold it against you."

Curiosity piqued, she glances over his shoulder to see the man standing in the middle of the floor. He's got longer hair—not that it's hard to have hair longer than Chris, if she's being honest, but this guy has like, old boy band hair—and he's in the middle of checking something on a nearby table. He looks up when they walk in and his gaze slides too neatly to Rose before it's back up on Chris. Something almost like recognition pings in her head and she nearly frowns before catching herself.

"Rose, this is Leon. He's gonna be helping train you."

Most people don't want to shake the hand of a mold bioweapon, so she thinks she can be forgiven for the blink of surprise when Leon actually holds his hand out for her to shake. She can hear the way the agents on the upper levels reach for their guns when she reaches back so she keeps the handshake as brief as possible while still being considered 'polite,' whatever that means.

"Chris tells me you've been doing well with your basic weapons training," he says, "but I figured we'd warm up with hand to hand, does that sound fine?"

She nods. She shrugs off her dad's coat and puts in on the bench next to her water bottle. There's another ping in her head as she looks at the water bottle, but she pushes it away.

Chris takes a seat across the room as she and Leon stand about six feet away from each other. He's not as broad as Chris—again, not hard—but she has a feeling that's not gonna matter much in the next ten seconds.

"Ready?"

"Yea—"

Sure enough, she doesn't even get to finish her sentence—her one word— before he's moving.

She was right: Leon isn't necessarily as strong as Chris is, but he's fucking fast. She swears sometimes he teleports from one side to the other and she's only barely dodging half of his swings. She surprises herself with how long she manages to go without being hit, though. He clips her shoulder as she turns to avoid something else and it takes her more than a few seconds to kick herself into moving faster, please.

It is as annoying as it is with Chris when he's got her down on the mats and she's panting and he's not even out of breath, but she's more practiced at swallowing that one.

"Good," he says, and she can't help scowl slightly, which makes him laugh of all things. "C'mon, try again."

It's not at all like training with Chris—which again, she knows is the point. Chris is all 'do this thing over and over and if you make a mistake, correct it and try again until you get it right.' With Leon, it's more 'here's what fucked up this time, let's go again and it won't come up until three rounds later, did you pay attention?' Which isn't necessarily how Rose likes to learn, but she can't deny it's not working. He's trying to get her to trust her body more, which—good luck, Rose is a teenage girl with a shipyard's worth of trauma and insecurity. But at least she's not hitting the mat as often.

There's something else here too, though. Something that's making her do a little better than she should be. The pings in her head don't stop coming. She's able to tell which punch he's about to throw even when he's feinting. She starts being able to anticipate when he's going to do the freaky switch-sides thing even when she still can't see it. At one point, she parries one of his blows in a way she's never learned from Chris or anybody else and Leon's face twitches in surprise but only for a second.

Then, just when he pins one of her arms out of the way, her hand comes up without warning to strike his face and she—

Rose throws herself out of his grip, landing hard on her back.

Her arm tingles. Something in her gut tugs. She closes her eyes tightly and forces it back down.

When she opens her eyes again, Leon's crouched a little ways away, watching her with a frown. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Chris standing up. She can't hear any of the guns cocking, which means she managed to stop herself before she could actually do anything.

Small victories.

"Rose?" Leon's voice brings her back. "What happened?"

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize," he says, and wow, he doesn't…he doesn't even sound mad. Who is this guy? "What's going on?"

"Powers," she grunts, sitting up and checking that she's still got the ring hidden under her shirt, "stopped them. It's fine."

His disbelief is palpable—but so is Chris's, and she couldn't really care less about it right now as long as guns aren't pointing at her—but he doesn't say anything else. He gets up and walks over to her, slowing when she tenses. His frown deepens and he slows, but he keeps coming until he's offering her a hand up. She eyes it warily.

"C'mon," he says, quieter this time, "it's okay."

When no sounds come as she reaches for his hand, she lets him help her up. They walk over to the bench and he tosses her the water bottle. To her relief, the taste of the water doesn't make her want to retch, but there's still something nudging at her like she should remember something. It has her frowning down at her water bottle until Leon bumps her shoulder.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

He doesn't need to say he doesn't believe her out loud, but he takes her word for it and they go back to the mats. The thing keeps getting louder and louder, though, and as much as she's grown to trust these sorts of things, she's not sure why this one is here right now and that's worrying enough on its own.

They keep sparring. She's pretty sure Leon's letting her win when she does, but it's not as obvious as when Chris lets her win so she'll take it. Every time they fight, the thing gets a little clearer, like an image moving through water. She starts to actually know what he's doing, moving before he moves, not enough to make a huge difference, but enough of one where she notices where he actually starts to try.

It unsettles her as much as it thrills her.

But then it happens again: she ducks down low to shove him back and the tug in her gut manifests before she can stop it. Her pause gives him enough time to kick her in the chest and send her sprawling.

"Why'd you stop?" He actually sounds a little out of breath now.

She doesn't respond.

"Rose?"

She stares up at the ceiling.

"Rose? Are you okay?"

"Rose?" That's Chris now too. She can hear him standing up. "Rose?"

"What happened?"

***

"What happened?"

Ethan looks up. There's another man standing in front of him, holding out his water bottle. He takes it with a weak thank-you and takes a swig. He knows what this has to look like, him crying on the floor in a dark and empty room, but he can't really summon anything up right now.

"Hey, let's get you to a bench, c'mon."

"Thank you," he rasps out as the man dips under one of his arms, "sorry."

"Don't be sorry, we've all been there."

"What, crying on the mats by yourself?"

The man chuckles. "On the mats, in the shower, on the bathroom floor. You name it, it's probably happened."

He sags into the bench, cradling his water bottle. His ring clinks against the metal and the sound echoes around and around his empty chest. The noise is almost enough to make him start crying again.

"What's going on," the man next to him asks again, quieter this time, "you okay?"

'Okay.' God, he's never going to be okay for the rest of his life, is he? He sighs, letting his head hang for a moment, before summoning up just enough of his courage to answer. "Just having a bad day, I think. Thank you for helping me. Sorry to be an inconvenience—do you need this room?"

The man shakes his head. "Came looking for Redfield, someone said he was in here."

Ah. Right. Of course. Ethan's shoulders sag again and he jerks his chin toward the door. "Just missed him, sorry."

But the man doesn't get up. Instead, he bumps his leg against Ethan's to remind him that he's holding his water bottle and yeah, probably lost too many fluids. He takes another swig.

"I'm Ethan," he says, probably unnecessarily, because everyone he's spoken to since getting here knows who he is, "Ethan Winters."

"Leon."

"Nice to meet you, Leon." He takes another drink. "As nice as it is of you to sit with me, I'm sure you've got better things to do than watch me mope."

"What, like go track down Redfield?" Ethan shrugs. "Nah. He can wait. I've missed my moping time enough recently."

"Misery loves company."

They sit there in the quiet for a while. Chris's words clatter around his head, as piercing as the sound of his ring. It's a familiar sting by now, at least it should be. Seems all he's been doing lately is laboring under misconceptions.

"What'd he do?"

"Hm?"

"Redfield." Leon nods his head toward the doors. "What'd he do?"

Ethan feels the tips of his ears start to burn and looks back down at the floor. "Punched me in the face."

Leon's quiet next to him, the kind of quiet he's gotten very used to lately where they're expecting him to say something else. But he's also gotten very good at keeping his fucking mouth shut. Sure enough, a few more seconds pass and Leon sighs, shifting to mirror Ethan's posture. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

"Is he always like this?"

"Like what, a huge prick?"

"Mm."

"He has his moments."

Because the Chris Ethan thought he knew isn't real. The one who's tough on him, sure, but he's also kind enough to help him up and keep a hand on his shoulder when he doesn't strictly need it. The one who laughs and jokes with him when they're setting up. The one who could actually be his friend, but that Chris isn't real. That Chris was—what, a trick? A ploy? A facade? Or maybe Ethan's as dumb as he's always been, since he thought his wife worked as a babysitter when she really worked for a bioterrorist organization.

Mia…he hasn't seen Mia in a few days. She told him she was just going to get another round of tests but he's not sure he believes her anymore.

What kind of person is he becoming, where he can't even trust his wife?

"Punch him back next time," Leon says, breaking him out of his spiral, "he probably deserves it."

A harsh laugh leaves him. "I'd love to, but apparently I can't do that."

"Why, 'cause he's your CO?"

"My what?"

"Commanding officer."

The words twist and land and something tugs in his gut. "Yeah, something like that."

"If you do it while you're sparring, he can't hold it against you." Ethan doesn't say anything else for a moment. Leon nudges him again. "Something else?"

"I'm not good enough."

The room goes quiet for a few long moments. Ethan expects Leon to mutter some excuse and get up, leaving him alone with his thoughts again, when instead the man stands in front of him and holds out a hand.

"What?"

"I said I'll teach you."

"I'm—"

"I can't be the only one around here willing to break Redfield's nose if he's being an asshole," Leon says with a smirk, "c'mon, Winters."

What the hell. He takes Leon's hand and lets him pull him up.

***

"You taught my dad."

Above her, Leon and Chris stutter to a halt. She sees them exchange a look as she sits up.

"I did," Leon says quietly, holding his hand out to her again. She takes it. "He was…a good man."

"You taught him out to break Chris's nose."

Chris splutters as Leon tips his head back and laughs. "That's right, I did."

"Why specifically my nose?"

"Because you deserve it, Redfield." It's said in a joking way but it quickly saps any remaining humor out of the room. Leon shifts, crossing his arms. "Is that why you stopped?"

The memory, now that it's clicked into her brain, makes more sense now. Dad was using his powers before he knew he had them—she can recognize the tug. But Dad's powers manifest differently than hers do, so it wasn't like they'd be obvious to someone who didn't know about them, including himself.

"Rose?"

"His were different than mine."

Leon frowns. "What?"

"Ethan's were different. When he used his, it wasn't—it's not like mine." Leon still looks confused. She looks at Chris, who looks the tiniest bit sheepish. "Did you not tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Leon turns to Chris, his voice sharpening. "Tell me what?"

"I did tell him," Chris says in an effort to placate them both, "I told him about Ethan's powers and yours—at least what we know about them."

What I've told you, she amends in her head. There are still things about that trip into the Megamycete that she's not going to tell Chris anytime soon.

"Figured it was standard protocol," she says instead, "for anyone who has to be in the room with the bioweapon."

Chris makes a low noise like she's hit him and Leon shifts.

"What?"

"You're not just some bioweapon, Rose," Chris says, quieter this time, "you know that."

She stares at him. Then she shoves Leon in the chest, hard enough to make him stagger backwards.

A gun on the upper level cocks right away.

Leon—who barely took more than a few steps backwards and isn't even hurt—hears it immediately, his head whipping around to stare in the direction of the sound. She can't see his face but his shoulders get really tense. Next to her, Chris takes a long breath and places a hand firmly on her shoulder. After a moment, they hear the sound of the gun being lowered and the agent stepping back into place. Leon turns around slowly and glares at Chris.

"That better not be for my benefit."

"Leon—"

"They're here all the time," Rose interrupts, "even when it's just him."

Leon doesn't stop glaring at Chris.

"It's gotten better. They used to be down here with us. Now at least they're up there."

"It's the best I could do," Chris says quietly, his hand still firm on Rose's shoulder, "and the rounds aren't live."

Rose turns to look at him. "They're not?"

She feels more than sees Leon getting more upset and something flickers across Chris's face before he's shaking his head. "They're not live rounds, Rose. I promise."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Leon mutters, stalking back toward them, giving Chris the we're going to fight about this later look, before visibly trying to soften toward Rose—which she doesn't really get, but she'll take it. "You're stopping yourself because you don't want to use your powers on me, right?"

"Yeah."

"Can you recognize when they're about to come out?" She nods. "What's making them come out right now?"

She hesitates. Telling Leon about her Dad's powers is one thing, but telling him about the whole Dad-still-kind-of-being-with-her-accessing-his-memory thing is another. "It feels like it's acting instead of me, not because of me."

He gives her a look like he knows she's not giving him the actual answer, but to her surprise, he lets it go. "Being able to recognize it is good. The next step's gonna be not letting it make you give up in a fight."

"Okay."

"You ready?" he asks as Chris goes back across the room.

She doesn't answer, she just goes for it. She catches a glimpse of Leon grinning before they're back in the fight.

***

"What," Leon growls as soon as his office door closes behind them, "the absolute fuck, Chris?"

Chris sighs, letting his shoulders drop and collapsing into his chair. Leon starts pacing up and down in front of the desk. He can't bring himself to look up.

" Twelve armed agents? With guns she didn't know weren't live? Every fucking time?" He grabs onto another chair and Chris half expects him to throw it. "No fucking wonder she thinks she's nothing more than a bioweapon, what the fuck were you thinking?"

"BSAA's using bioweapons now."

Leon stops. "What?"

Chris swallows with difficulty. "Back in Romania. BSAA was there. The soldiers they sent in—they weren't people, Leon. They sent in bioweapons."

A pause. "Does Jill—"

"I don't know," he grits out, "I don't know. All I know is that BSAA isn't what we made it to be, not anymore. Something's going on over there and I won't let them get Rose. Not after what I've seen. Not now that I know what they're capable of."

Another pause. When he risks a glance up, Leon's get his head bowed, still breathing heavily. After a long moment, he sighs and slumps into the chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. "She's just a kid, Chris."

"I know."

"You don't point twelve guns at a kid."

"If I can't walk the thin line BSAA has about Rose staying here, with us, then they take her and do God knows what with her. Believe me, I fought like hell to get them out of there. I barely got them to agree to move up and stop using actual bullets." He rubs his temples. "I'm doing the best that I can."

The thing is, he's pretty sure Leon knows that. He's just as pissed as Chris is that they can't do anything better. Still, he should've known that seeing Rose in a place like that would be…uniquely aggravating.

"She's a good kid," Leon says eventually, his voice more than a little hoarse, "she's a damn good kid."

"Yeah, she is."

"She doing field work yet?" He shakes his head. "Is that because you don't think she's ready for it, or 'cause you don't want them knowing she's mission ready?"

He lets a rueful smile come to his face. "Bit of both."

"She asked yet?"

"No."

"Huh."

"I'm surprised too." He sits back. "Thought she'd be raring to get out and do something, but…she's not telling me something."

Leon snorts. "She's a teenager, Chris, there's probably a lot she's not telling you."

"It's related to this." He slides his gaze over to him. "She almost told you what it was this morning."

"Jealous, Redfield?"

Is he jealous of the fact that Rose has known Leon all of a few hours and almost told him something Chris has known she's been hiding for a few months now? Yeah, probably. But he's been around the block with the whole how-fast-you-trust-Leon-S-Kennedy thing more times than he can count.

"She'll tell you," Leon says, softer now, "when she's ready."

He wishes he could believe that with the confidence that Leon seems to have about it, but he's pretty sure he's burned most of his bridges with the Winters family when it comes to them not keeping secrets from him.

***

Something's wrong.

Ethan can't put his finger on it, but there's a tug in his gut that he's learned to trust since that night in Louisiana, and right now, it's screaming that something is wrong.

It started that morning. He woke up next to Mia—at least he thought he did, until he rolled over and felt the cold, empty space of the bed next to him. The cold shocked him the rest of the way awake, for a moment falling back into those three years where he thought Mia was dead. He bolted upright, looking around, only to see Mia standing in the door.

"Ethan? What's wrong?"

"You were gone," he managed, "you…you weren't here."

She smiled, came across the room to kiss him. "I'm right here. I just went to the bathroom."

The kiss felt wrong. He couldn't remember the last time they'd kissed. Was that wrong in and of itself? Between the fights and the late nights taking care of Rose, they hadn't…when was the last time they'd kissed?

"I think you're still waking up," Mia laughed, "meet me downstairs, okay? I'll make breakfast."

"What about Rose?"

"Oh, I took care of her already."

That was also weird. He'd never accuse Mia of being anything but a caring mother, but she'd been hesitant to do any more than the simplest of tasks when Rose needed something. Not that Ethan begrudged the chance to take care of his daughter, but still. Mia, willingly taking care of Rose without even waking him up?

It carried on throughout the day. Never something big enough to make him outright suspicious, but…little things here and there. Things she'd say, things she'd do, even the fact that she was more openly affectionate toward Rose. Ethan's gut kept telling him that something wasn't right, but he'd been accused of being paranoid by more than one doctor, so he didn't say anything.

Then Mia read that creepy story.

Ethan doesn't give a shit if it's a local tale. He doesn't give a shit if the woman in the store recommended it. He doesn't give a shit if Mia thinks it's a good idea to get Rose used to the local culture when she still can't understand more than a handful of words. That story is fucked up, creepy as all hell, and something that Mia would not have just decided to read to their infant daughter with the amount of fondness and affection that she did.

What made it worse was that Rose didn't fucking move for all of it. Rose is normally a little bundle of fidgety energy, always trying to grab onto his jacket or his fingers or his hair. But the whole time Mia was holding her, reading that story, she didn't move at all.

He tries to be cool about it. He tries not to visibly relax when Mia places Rose in his arms when all he wants to do is run upstairs and barricade himself in Rose's room, wrap her up in her blanket with her little stuffed monkey and hold her until the world makes sense again. But instead, he swallows and starts walking slowly upstairs, shushing his baby girl when she starts to cry.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, Rosie. Daddy won't let those monsters get you." He lifts her up and kisses her pudgy little cheek. "I'll protect you, I promise."

Rose settles, not opening her eyes, but batting his chin with her little hand. He smiles, kissing her fingertips as he walks into her room. He turns on her mobile and the soft music fills the room. Glancing behind him, he closes the door as quietly as he can and takes out his phone.

He opens his texts to Chris and sends one off.

>Me: I think something's wrong with Mia.

He waits. Normally Chris texts him back right away unless he's out on patrol, but this time, there's nothing. Not even one of the automated responses.

>Me: Chris, I don't know what's going on, but I think something's wrong. Please text me back.

Still nothing. His grip accidentally tightens on Rose and she mumbles in protest. He whispers an apology and holds her tight to his chest. Having his daughter tucked safely against him does some good to calm his racing heart, but not enough.

>Me: I just want my family to be safe.

"Ethan? Everything okay?"

He almost drops his phone and bites back a curse. "Yeah, just putting Rose down."

"Hurry up, dinner's almost done."

Glancing one more time at his still-silent phone, he kisses Rose's forehead and carefully puts her down. He looks down at his daughter, so small and pink in her little crib, and cups his hand around her soft cheek.

"I love you, Rose. So very much."

He leaves the door open when he goes downstairs and doesn't even have time to think about it before Chris is putting round after round in his wife and the butt of a gun knocks him unconscious.

***

"He tried to tell me something was wrong," Chris says, the way he did when Leon had taken him out for drinks after the nightmare that Romania turned into.

"You responded," Leon says back, like he had last time.

"But I didn't tell him anything."

"What were you supposed to do, stop in the middle of the mission and give him the entire download?"

"Maybe."

"While Miranda was still there, alive, and could've killed all of you and taken Rose?" Chris shrugs helplessly. Leon kicks him under the desk. "You and I both know that's not a good road to walk down sober, and probably not drunk either."

He sighs, burying his face in his hands. He hears Leon mutter something along the lines of Golden Boy with no liquor in his office before there's a clatter of a chair being set down next to his and a hand on his shoulder.

"Rose is still here," Leon says with more kindness than he deserves right now, "she's the priority now."

"Yeah."

"Do you really think that if something was bothering her that much—or if something was that wrong, she wouldn't tell you?"

He scrubs his face and rakes a hand through his hair. "No."

"There you go, then."

"She deserves better than this. She deserves to have her father here. She deserves the chance to live a normal life."

Leon's quiet for a long moment. The hand on Chris's shoulder flexes and he reaches out to put his on Leon's too. Leon leans into it slightly. It hasn't been so long since they sat like this in a very different place, talking about a different teenager and a different choice that changed their lives forever.

"How are they?"

"Good, last time I heard," Leon says quietly, "Sherry's planning a drive to Boston soon, I think."

"You should go see them."

"Don't know if I'll be able to."

"Leon—"

"When's the last time you saw Claire?"

That shuts Chris up right away. Leon doesn't hold it over him, leaning a little bit closer. He lets his eyes fall closed for a moment, his head hanging. Rose deserves better than this. Than all of this. Than him. But right now, he's kind of all Rose has got, and he's sure that sits in her chest sometimes the way it's sitting in his right now.

"I'm glad you had the chance to meet him," he mumbles, "before."

"Me too. He seemed like a good man."

"The best." He huffs a laugh. "Still can't believe you taught him how to break my nose."

"You were a real piece of shit that day, Redfield," but it's gentle enough not to bruise, "figured it was time to even the score a little bit."

He nudges him.

"Wasn't expecting you to admit it to his daughter, though. You're playing with fire there."

Chris frowns, looking up. "I didn't tell her."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I never told her Ethan broke my nose. And I definitely didn't tell her that you were the one that taught him how. No one else knows that happened."

Leon sits up. "Then how the hell did she find out?"

***

"Why didn't you fucking tell me right away?"

Chris whips around and grabs him by the arm. He grits his teeth against the pain. "Because I knew you would want to be involved! And this job is hard enough without civilians getting in the way."

He throws Ethan's arm away like it's an annoying branch caught on his coat and turns around.

Ethan sees red.

He grabs Chris's shoulder again, ignoring the man's shout, and his hand whips out and strikes him hard in the face. There's the sharp sound of something breaking and Chris reels back, hand going to the blood streaming from his broken nose.

"'Getting in the way?' 'Getting in the way,' Chris? I am the fucking way! This entire bullshit is because of my family. My wife, my daughter. You want me to stay out of your business, guess what, you bastard, I am your fucking business!" He shoves Chris and he hits the wall hard enough to rattle the pipes. "I became your fucking business when you showed up in Louisiana after I'd spent the entire night trying to save my wife alone. I became your fucking business when you locked us up in those rooms and tested every inch of our bodies until you decided not to make test subjects of us anymore. I'm your fucking business since you had us relocate to the middle of fucking nowhere except it's next to a village of monsters that stole my daughter!"

Chris just stares at him, blood pouring down his face. Ethan storms up to him and stabs a finger into his chest.

"I don't know what the fuck you and your team think you've been doing here, but it sure as hell hasn't been helping me save Rose. Look around you, Chris. Three of the four lords are dead, no thanks to you. I don't give a shit about whether or not you think I'm a civilian or not good enough or whatever shit you wanna try and throw at me next. I am going to save my daughter. You can either help me or get the fuck out of my way!"

He's panting by the time he's done. There's a tug in his gut that's itching for him to keep going, to tear this entire fucking factory part until he gets his daughter back, safe and sound. Chris is still staring at him with a broken nose.

He makes himself take a deep breath. He looks around for the gun Chris tossed away and picks it up. He looks for a way back up through this nightmare of a factory when he feels a hand on his arm. Chris holds up his other hand when he whips around to glare at him, letting go.

"Alright, Ethan," he says quietly, "alright. I'll tell you."

***

"So, wait," Rose mumbles, underneath the cover of the music playing in her room, her eyes on the wall of fairy lights, "he shot Mom in front of you—or what you thought was Mom—and then took me and didn't explain anything?"

Dad doesn't respond, but she feels the vague confirmation floating and huffs.

"That's seriously bullshit. I'm glad you fucking broke his nose."

Still nothing. She frowns, rolling over to see if Dad's writing on the ground by the bed instead, but there's no glowing words there either. She gets out of bed and turns off the lights and the music, lying back down and staring up at the ceiling.

Dad hasn't talked to her in a while. She's felt him, sure, but not…not any words. He's been silent and she's starting to worry a little bit. It feels like he's pulling away, like she's losing him. It shouldn't scare her, her dad's dead, has been dead, and she lived for the first 16 years of her life believing she'd never get the chance to talk to him, ever, and even after the Megamycete, she'd thought that was all she'd get. She should be happy, she knows, that she had even the slightest chance to talk to him, to be with him, to have even another moment where she knew he was there—and he's still here, she can feel him, she knows he's there the way she knows she's breathing and that there's mold buzzing underneath her fingertips, but he's not—he's not—

He's not here.

The sudden spring of tears to her eyes has her gasping and scrubbing the sleeve of his coat over her face before the camera can tell what's going on. She turns over just in case, burying her nose in the pillow he usually writes on to muffle her sniffles. She reaches for the ring under her shirt and holds it tight. She'll always have this, this and her coat, his coat, their coat, the coat that she won't get rid of, not ever. It's not like she'll grow out of it. It was made to fit a grown man, even if she starts growing like a weed, she won't get too big for it. It's hers, she's keeping it, and they can't take it from her.

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, soothing the growing tug in her gut. No one's trying to take her coat away, no one's trying to take her dad away. She's safe. Everything's okay. She's okay.

The tug doesn't settle.

She frowns, sitting up. She puts a hand to her stomach. Her eyes widen. Her breath catches.

She can feel something.

It's moving beneath her skin.

Like it's alive.

She scrambles for her phone and sends a text to Chris.

***

Chris's phone buzzes. He reaches for it, squinting at the screen. He bolts upright, dislodging Leon with an unceremonious jerk.

"Fuck, a little warning next time," he grumbles, "what?"

"Rose says something's wrong."

Leon sobers immediately, not even an 'I told you so.' "You should—"

The phone on his desk rings. He stares at it like it's radioactive. So does Leon. He swallows heavily, glancing at Rose's text before holding his cell tightly to his chest, a wordless promise to be there as soon as he can. He picks up the phone.

"Redfield."

"Chris?" Leon asks when he sees the blood drain from his face. "Chris, what's going on?"

"I'll be right there. Do not leave without me."

"Chris, what the hell's going on?"

Chris just reaches behind him and grabs Leon's wrist, dragging him as he races for the garage.

***

It's dark.

It's cold.

It's quiet.

Dirt shifts.

Bugs crawl.

Wind whistles through dead trees.

A branch cracks and falls with a scattering of crows.

Closer, closer, closer, almost at the surface.

The ground breaks.

And he breathes.

[evilkennedy]

hold me close

pair: lethan; leon kennedy/ethan winters

summary: based on this post : https://www.tumblr.com/crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington/722857634630434816/bug-all-posts-for-this-au-will-be-under-the-tag by @crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington

word count: 1.8k

4:28 am; Leon blinked blearily at his phone, having woken up to the sound of frantic little knocks against his bedroom door. His head swam as he reluctantly sat up, the liquor from hours before still having its effect on his aching body as he tossed his phone back onto his unmade bed with a groan. Another set of small raps sounded from his door, making him speed up the process of getting out of bed. It was so late and the sound could have only been coming from Ethan. He tried to consider what could be wrong, but nothing formulated in his sleep-addled and tipsy mind. He was just annoyed at having been woken up in the first place, bare feet padding against the cold ground as he finally opened the door, a bit harsher than he’d meant to. He squinted at the blonde, dark circles undoubtedly making him look exhausted as he reprimanded his new roommate, “Do you know what time–”

“I know! I know, I’m sorry, I really am, I just– You know I wouldn’t bother you unless it was for something really important and uhm, there’s a… there’s a bug in my room.” Ethan finished off lamely. As he’d been speaking Leon being ever the observant agent noticed the way he trembled, even in the dim lighting of the hallway. He was paler than usual, which was saying something since he was already relatively pale naturally and he was sure that if he could see him better, he’d be sweating. The way he fiddled with his hands gave away the extent of his fear and Leon felt his heart ache for him. He was all too familiar with a reaction like this, but for some reason it hurt to see it coming from Ethan… it was like looking into a mirror.

“And- and I know it’s stupid, trust me, I know. I’m sorry. I know you don’t really like me and I know we promised to just stay out of each other’s way but I really– I just, I can’t. I k- know it won’t hurt me and it’s just a bug but I– it's– I don’t–” Leon cut off the man’s rambling, unable to bear it any longer. He might not have known every little detail about Ethan’s escapades in both Dulvey and Romania, but he didn’t have to. At least not to understand the way it still deeply affected him. He could see it in the way he held Rose so tightly and in the way he often woke up from yelling in his sleep, having to console his daughter soon after. He sympathized more than anyone ever could, so beyond the exhaustion he felt and perhaps even the slightest bit of exasperation, he softened, sighing before he spoke, “Where’s the bug.”

Ethan stopped his rambling with a surprised, “Huh,” deep brown irises even darker when contrasted against bloodshot eyes, lower lip trembling as he attempted to keep the tears at bay. Leon felt as though a stake through the heart would be less painful than the sight of Ethan in such distress, a bit melodramatic, he was aware, but as his chest clenched painfully and his stomach twisted from more than just sympathy– He knew he couldn’t acknowledge it in any other way. That fondness could be dangerous, tangible in the air between them and enough to swallow Leon whole if he thought about it for too long. Ethan was someone he was meant to protect. Nothing more.

“Where’s the bug?” He repeated again, patience waning thin at his own thought processes, but never at the other’s desperation. Still, he wouldn’t recognize the difference, so Leon schooled his tone as best as he could.

“It’s.. It’s above my bed. Thank you.” Ethan breathed a sigh of relief, though his state hadn’t gotten any better. Leon’s concern remained apparent and nagging, he wanted nothing more than to wrap the other in his arms until he felt safe again, but that would certainly be crossing lines he couldn’t cross. He placed his hand on the man’s shoulder in passing, “Don’t worry. It’s nothing.” He reassured, small smile on his face as Ethan leaned into the touch subconsciously, thanking him once again. He tried not to let the touch linger longer than it had to, or to appreciate the way his eyelashes looked, even in the faint lighting of the hall, he could still see how long they were. He couldn’t help but think about how unfairly beautiful they were, even as he pulled away and began his trek to the second room of the hall, an anxious Ethan in tow to presumably show him where the bug had been.

Leon entered the room first, though when he did, he didn’t see a bug anywhere. He didn’t want to alarm Ethan by saying it might have moved somewhere else, but before he could say anything at all, he was behind him, eyes frantically searching the ceiling and the walls of his room. “N-No! It was there, on my ceiling.” He pointed to where it had been, breathing picking up as he began to panic once again despite the quiet decibel his voice remained at. Surprisingly, Rose didn’t stir, even as Ethan started rubbing at his bare arms, eyes finding Leon’s as he trembled, legs threatening to give out. “I can’t- I can’t–” The agent was quick to respond, moving the two steps he needed to to close the distance between them, sleep no longer plaguing his mind but his own panic instead.

“Hey, can I touch you? Look at me, Ethan.” He held his hands up placatingly, concerned by the way unseeing eyes met his own with a nod. “Okay.” He breathed, placing Ethan’s hand on his chest, beginning to exaggerate his own, much calmer, breathing. “Breathe with me, okay? Can’t have you passing out on me.” He didn’t respond, but he could feel and see the way he was attempting to match his breathing, even though it was an obvious struggle.

“Good, you’re doing so good.” He praised gently, heart threatening to plummet through his stomach or leap right out of his chest with the way he suddenly felt so connected to the other, the unfamiliarity of it all overwhelmed his senses, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. So long as Ethan was okay.

The blonde nodded, slowing his breathing as much as he could while the trigger was still nowhere to be seen, presumably lurking in the shadows and waiting to strike. Leon thought for a few moments as they stood there, the atmosphere around them more intimate than he could have expected himself to allow.

“You can sleep in my room tonight, okay? You and Rose, give the bug some time to get out of here. You need the sleep.” His tone left no room for arguments, Ethan had been having a rough time since it hadn’t been too long after Romania that Chris had set up this little arrangement for them. More often than not, he didn’t sleep, whether it be because of the memories that plagued his own psyche or having a baby daughter that is struggling just as much and unable to understand it like Ethan could. He deserved a break, no matter how Leon felt about him. He’d push away whatever he had to to make things right, pretend to hate him if it meant he and Rose could be safe.

Ethan seemed to consider this for a few moments, aware of their proximity now that he was coming back to himself, brows furrowed as he responded, “Where will you sleep?”

Honestly, Leon hadn’t considered that himself, but he’d be more than fine sleeping on the couch. “I’m good on the couch.”

Finally the brunette let go of Ethan’s hand as the trembling slowed to a minimum and he was no longer on the verge of passing out, though it was done hesitantly. The other looked as though he wanted to say something in response, but he didn’t, instead just giving a curt nod and an okay in response.

The pair and Rose made their way back to Leon’s room, somehow the baby hadn’t woken up through the entire ordeal, which they were both grateful for. As much as Ethan needed the rest, Leon wasn’t entirely confident in his babysitting skills, so they’d have been screwed. The agent tried his best not to hover too closely to Ethan, but his concern was still palpable, practically oozing from him in waves as he followed him across the hall, watching as he and Rose settled back down in his room. He was grateful that he looked substantially more relaxed laying in his bed, simultaneously reveling in the way he looked like he belonged there. Dangerous thoughts for him to have, but if he indulged privately just this once, no one had to know. He looked cute, hair all ruffled from sleep and cheeks tinged pink from the tears. He wished he could blame the alcohol for this line of thought, but the buzz was long gone now.

Still, he hesitated, Ethan looked like there was still something on his mind and he didn’t want to leave until he was sure that the younger man was alright. “Alright?” Leon asked, voice no longer rough from disuse, but much softer.

“Actually…” He paused, shaking his head as though to rid himself of whatever he’d been meaning to ask. “Nevermind. Yeah, I’m good. Thank you, Leon.”

He hesitated, still standing at the threshold of his room, fingers itching to be back on Ethan again. How ridiculous of him to get so attached so soon. It had only been a month.

“Are you sure? I could stay. If you need.” He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to make the offer, perhaps the overwhelming worry he still felt, wanting the man to get at least one good night’s sleep if he could help it.

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation in Ethan’s response, “Please. If you don’t mind.” He fiddled with his fingers again, something else that Leon found endearing as he stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind him. He didn’t say a word as he made his way to the other side of his bed, sitting up against the headboard so that he wouldn’t make the other uncomfortable.

“Do you want the bedside light on?” He spoke, voice barely above a whisper so as to not break whatever bubble had formed around them in the silence of the night.

“No. It’s okay. Thank you. Again.” Feeling bold, Leon found his hand from beneath the blankets, interlocking their fingers when he didn’t feel Ethan hesitate, in fact, he reciprocated the touch easily, welcoming it.

“Goodnight, Ethan.” He didn’t feel the need to say anything in response to the thanking, knowing now that he’d probably do the same for him if given the chance.

“Goodnight, Leon.” Whether that moment would be left as a secret within the blankets of Leon’s bed, succumbing to the indulgences of nightly intimacy come daybreak, they would wake in the safety of each other.

a/n: I am so beyond obsessed with this au so expect more tbh. I love lethan so very much no one can take them away from me

[sjjdkdkwo]

self indulgent au where leon finds ethan who can’t remember anything in the remains of the village and takes him in, and ethan becomes attached to him lol

[mynameisjag]

"You're too thin."

Usually Leon had a witty retort toward someone complaining about his wellbeing. Most of it that he was an adult and knew how to take care of himself, so fuck off but considering the one who just spoke to him was...he held his tongue.

Ethan Winters was staring up at him with a stubborn look and determination gleaming in his eyes.

"You're too thin, Leon, its concerning me."

Then there was a brown bag pushed into his hands, leaving him blinking, slowly he opened it up to see a few plastic containers.

"I made something for you and Rosie 'snuck' in some candy."

If it was anything like the homemade meals he got whenever he visited them on occasion, he was going to continue holding his tongue and try not to say anything stupid.

"I'd like my containers back, so come by the house to drop them off."

...

"Is this a way to get me to eat dinner with you as well?"

A raised eyebrow and a slight smile was his only answer as the smaller man turned on his heel, waving back at him, "I'll see you later back home, Kennedy."

"...yeah...back home..."

[chrookrit]

Based on this post

Later:

ah yes, the things Chris does so Leon and Ethan can potentially frick

For example sitting undercover at the table directly next to them so he can watch Ethan and still make sure that those two have a nice date :)

[evieisstruck]

These are all amazing! Love them!

did i spend 3 days drawing my favorite ships? yes, yes i did.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

detriot become human lethan au...

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

why dont u just replace him leon

dbh au

[evilkennedy]

meet cute

pairing: leon kennedy/ethan winters

wc: 1.2k+

summary: lethan college professor au!!

The beginning of the semester was always a bit of a whirlwind for Ethan, simultaneously hectic and exciting all wrapped into one. He’d always loved teaching, had built a passion for it really early on, even if the beginning of his career had a bit of a rough start, he finally felt as though he was where he was meant to be. His passion never escaped him, not when he’d gone through the loss of his wife, not when he had to adjust to being an only father– he was dedicated to his students and the education he provided. Perhaps he’d just always been a bit of a nerd, eager to learn about the science that others would shun, claiming that technology was too new age to be of common analytical interest within the realm of science and the new world, but others could recognize the importance and often sought out the knowledge in order to make a name for themselves or to build their own career. Needless to say, no matter what anyone thought in his line of work, he tried to keep his head up. He was the type to keep moving no matter the circumstances, he’d proved it time and time again. His move and new job at a new university was proof enough, though if the shaking of his hands was anything to go by, he was still a bit nervous.

The professor had already successfully gotten through his first class of the semester, but he was still relatively unfamiliar with the layout of the university and of course he hadn’t had the chance to make friends with any of his coworkers yet, so he felt painfully alone in this endeavor. He’d hope coming to the breakroom would’ve soothed his nerves, the warmth of his coffee behaving as a gentle embrace, a smooth transition into his next class of the day, but as he poured his second cup, jumping lightly upon the entrance of another person and successfully burning his hand, he quickly realized the opposite to have been true.

“Shit.” He hissed through clenched teeth, moving to set the cup down on the counter as he looked around the room for paper towels, though as he turned, his eyes met brilliant blues, grateful that he wasn’t still holding the cup as he flinched again. “Ah–” He backed up against the counter, gaze apologetic but before he could apologize, the other man was rushing to speak.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His dark brows were furrowed in concern, taking in Ethan’s meek appearance as he seemed to shrink further in on himself. He must’ve been the newest professor in the science department if his clear anxiety said anything.

“I was just comin’ in to grab a coffee, here let me help you.” The blond stood silently as the unnamed man proceeded to reach in the cabinets behind him, successfully grabbing the roll of paper towels that Ethan had been looking for, tearing off a few pieces to hand to him with a small smile on his face, though it looked more like a grimace when he took in Ethan’s burned hand.

“Might wanna rinse it under cool water first.” He spoke cautiously, meeting the other’s eyes once again before coming to the realization that he hadn’t even introduced himself. “Oh, and I’m Leon. Some call me Professor Kennedy, but Leon is good.” He let out a small chuckle at his own awkwardness, though it seemed to ease the nervous man’s anxiety, if only minutely.

“Sorry, yeah, thank you, Leon.” He breathed, wiping at the coffee on his hand, not really feeling the burn around his knubbed fingers where the nerves had died. “It’s my first day here, I guess I’m just a bit…” He trailed off, shrugging even as Leon smiled, this time genuinely.

“Nervous? That’s okay. I was too when I first started teaching and I imagine burning your hand isn’t the best start to your day either.” The more that the brunette spoke, the more Ethan felt comforted, of course other Professors experienced first day jitters, but he’d always felt like the odd one out, especially since he didn’t know anyone here yet.

“I figured you were our newest hire, I think I would’ve noticed you sooner if you’d been my coworker.” Leon spoke nonchalantly, though there was something about his tone that insulated he’d been flirting, is that what he’d been doing? Before Ethan could say anything in response, though, Leon was already beginning to fix his own coffee as the other shifted out of his way to wash his hands.

“So, I didn’t catch your name.” He spoke, noticing the way the blond hid his features, though he’d been pretty sure that he saw a flash of a blush before he’d turned away.

“Winters, uh, Ethan. You can just call me Ethan.” He turned around to face Leon again as he wiped the remaining water from his hands, crossing his arms over his chest as his thumb traced across the nubs where two fingers had been, a nervous tick he’d developed over time. He couldn’t help but notice how attractive Leon was, especially after he’d flirted with him– if that even counted as flirting. It had been so long since he’d flirted with another person… been interested in another person, he could barely remember how it worked anymore. The chase, the butterflies, it was all so familiar and unfamiliar at the exact same time, but for some reason Ethan craved it. He hoped, perhaps foolishly, that Leon found him just as attractive.

“Ethan.” Leon spoke, swirling sugar into his cup of coffee as he tested the name on his tongue. “Well, Ethan, I really hope I’ll see you around? My next class starts in ten, but I’d love to chat with you sometime, see how things are going?” He tried not to sound too hopeful, or god forbid desperate, but as Ethan’s dark brown eyes practically lit up at the suggestion, large smile splitting his face, he knew he’d made the right decision. He had to take a sip of his coffee to prevent a similar smile from forming on his face, if the way his heart was fluttering was any indication, he definitely felt similarly jovial about getting to know the other. He had to admit, he was rather pretty, and if that had anything to do with why he was making the suggestion, no one had to know.

“Yeah! I’d love that, actually.” The blush on his face never tapered, only deepening as he remembered himself, straightening up as he met the other’s gaze again. It was odd, feeling seen by another person. Not in the objective sense, the outward way in which people usually perceived other’s, but in a more meaningful way, almost as though Leon was peering into his soul and inviting Ethan’s to get to know his– it was oddly intimate in a way that would sound insane to describe outside of a romance novel, but it was warm and tempting nonetheless.

“T-That’d be great.” He repeated, heart thudding quicker in his chest when Leon nodded, small appreciative smile on his face as he nodded.

“Until then, handsome.” Leon grabbed Ethan’s forgotten coffee cup, handing it to him even as the other faltered at the nickname, though it wasn’t met with disgust. The criminology professor would take that as a win for now.

Ethan’s lips remained parted in shock as he took the coffee cup from Leon, unable to come up with a clever enough response before the brunette was leaving the breakroom, leaving him to stare into his mug of lukewarm coffee as the word handsome flitted teasingly around his mind.

Maybe a fresh start wasn’t so scary after all.

author’s note: I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to lmk what you thought. :)

[evilkennedy]

last day on earth

pairing: lethan; leon kennedy/ethan winters

summary: ethan has been living on borrowed time. that time is up.

(very lightly inspired by @crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington roommate au, doesn’t really mention their past, this is years down the road.)

word count: 2.1k

warnings: angst. heavy angst,, hurt/no comfort, main character death, implied suicidal ideation?

As soon as Ethan had opened his eyes that morning, he knew it was going to be a rough day. He didn’t know exactly how rough, but he could feel it in the way his body stiffened and in the way the phantom beat of his heart sped up, almost as if the nonexistent organ had known his fate long before he realized it himself. He’d had many bad days, and had been having them for weeks prior to this. He should’ve woken Leon up. He knew that should’ve been his first instinct, but unbeknownst to the man sleeping beside him, Ethan had stopped taking his medications. All of them. His hand trembled as he tried to wrap crystalized fingers around the sheets, holding onto them as though they’d keep him tethered to the ground for longer, but the attempt was futile. His fingers could no longer move and he feared that they’d crumble to ash should he try– he knew that they would. Today was going to be his last day. He shifted within Leon’s strong hold, even as he slept he held onto the blonde for dear life, almost as though his psyche was aware of something his conscious self couldn’t have been… or maybe Ethan was just paranoid.

He tried not to think, instead allowing himself to be temporarily soothed by the other’s warmth, reveling in it as though it were his own, and maybe in a way it was. Within the time that the pair had been together, he’d become accustomed to warmth. Not only the tangible kind, but also the kind that left your heart fluttering and your stomach queasy, the kind that he knew could only be defined as love. It hadn’t been easy. To allow himself to love someone after Mia was a difficult feat, many nights were spent aching and alone, hoping for something different, yearning to be able to allow himself to open up. He’d managed to do so, many times over with Leon, placing his heart on a platter for the elder man to see, to analyze– to take into his own chest and protect within the cave of his ribs alongside his own beating heart. But as Ethan stared at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d done so too late. The necklace he wore threatened to wrap around his throat, ring at the end of it the tightening of the noose– his final bow. He blinked away tears, unable to shift anymore as the muscle beneath soft flesh began to morph. He wished he wasn’t so aware of his condition, unable to understand the logistics of being a living corpse, but it had been thoroughly explained to him, perhaps more often than he’d ever want to hear it. He didn’t want to know and now that he knew his body was failing him for the last time… he didn’t want to go like he thought he did. He’d been tired– ready for so many years, atoning for things he’d have rather died for, but that would have been a mercy. Now as he laid in bed beside his fiance with his little girl in the next room over, it was a cruel punishment. A reminder that he’d only ever been living on borrowed time to begin with. He should’ve never become complacent, never comfortable that was the domesticity of his new life. He didn’t want to leave, but he had to. There was no fighting the inevitable and whatever resided beyond knew that he’d been fighting for long enough.

He wanted to get up, suddenly feeling like he wasn’t able to breathe. He swallowed against the panic, parting his lips and closing them briefly before ultimately speaking up. “Leon.” His voice trembled, giving away his state easily, lip quivering as he fought against another stronger wave of tears when he realized he didn’t have the strength to turn in Leon’s direction. He knew that it wouldn’t take long for the brunette to wake up, as it had never been that difficult to get his attention, but the relief that immediately settled over him as Leon groaned in response was palpable.

The arms around his waist tightened ever so slightly, pulling him into his chest as he pressed a gentle kiss against the top of his head. “Everything okay?” His voice was filled with the remnants of sleep, raspy and quiet from disuse. Still, the concern was there, Ethan could catch it even in the times he masked it the most. They’d become good at reading each other. Ethan wished he could’ve woken him up under better circumstances, being able to tell him that today was a good day and that he’d get up to make breakfast for the three of them, but instead all he could do was let out a quiet sob, to which Leon responded immediately. The ex agent sat up, reaching over to turn on the lamp on his nightstand, panic filling his own chest as he concerned all of the things that could be wrong. Of course his mind settled on the worst case scenarios, the nightmares that plagued him for ages of Ethan falling apart, him dying alone and vulnerable and scared as he crystalized and crumbled to ash– At the very least he wasn’t alone but as Leon took in the state of his fiance, the breath he’d taken had caught in his chest. “No…” He breathed, eyes filling with tears of his own as he turned Ethan over in bed. Blue eyes met wide and terrified bloodshot brown ones as he scanned his features, slender fingers brushing over the plush skin of his cheeks as he met flayed portions. He was dying and there was nothing Leon could do to stop it.

“I’m sorry.” Ethan spoke, unable to keep the waterworks at bay. He couldn’t move his arms anymore, making it to where he couldn’t cover his face to hide himself from Leon as he usually would. That was enough to let the man know just how bad this was and he felt frantic, desperate to hold his lover together in one way or another. He scooped Ethan into his arms, shaking his head easily in response. “Don’t you fucking apologize for this, Ethan. It’s not your fault.” He’d known the other had stopped taking his medication, but it was only after the suppressants had stopped working. Taking them wouldn’t have changed a damn thing, no matter how much Leon wished it would have. He wished they could have worked forever. For a moment he wished he believed in God so that he could have somewhere to place the blame, someone to curse at for taking away the one good thing he’d ever had in the miserable course of his life. Why did fate have to be so cruel?

He brushed some of Ethan’s hair back to get a better look at his pretty features, features he’d grown to adore so much, he’d never be able to look at brown eyes the same way again. “We can… We can figure this out– I can call Chris and have him… I don’t know have him fucking come up with something.” Before he could go on an exasperated rant, Ethan interrupted him softly, just one look and Leon knew what he was saying.

“Baby, I can’t let you go like this. I can’t– I can’t just watch it happen.” Ethan wanted nothing more than to be able to soothe him, to reach out and wipe his tears away as they fell, to tell him that everything would be okay– but he knew better. He knew it would have only been a lie, a waste of the precious time he had left with the man he’d come to love. The man he’d learned to be vulnerable with and learned how to trust again. He fought so hard for normalcy and this was it, what they’d had, what they’d been, it was as normal as men like them could have.

Instead of being able to respond in a normal way, Ethan was overcome with grief and terror– He didn’t want to leave just as badly as Leon didn’t want him to, but as he laid there feeling every morsel of his being crystalizing, hardening and likening him to some relic, giving him the same fate as the rest of the monsters he’d been expected to kill– He couldn’t find the right words for comfort. He felt like a child again, like a monster finally paying retribution for the things he’d done just to have this life. He thought the pain hadn’t been worth it, that it hadn’t been worth living and that was punishment enough, but it could never compare to the pain of an underprepared goodbye.

“S-So don’t. Go take Rose and leave me.” He didn’t mean it. He didn’t want to die alone, but maybe it’s what he deserved. The words tasted bitter on his tongue, the reminder that he was leaving his daughter parentless. Not that she wouldn’t have Leon but he’d made a promise to be there… one he knew he’d break but the time had come all too soon.

He wasn’t surprised when Leon disagreed, face full of disgust at the mere suggestion of leaving him alone like this. If it had been appropriate, Ethan might’ve laughed. “Are you out of your mind?” To which Ethan did chuckle a bit. It was watery and pathetic, closer to a sob than anything else.

“So then kill me. Put me o-out of my misery because I- I can’t. I can’t do this either.” He was slowly devolving into something completely tragic and panicked, like a wounded animal on the brink of self destruction.

The brunette’s eyes widened accordingly before squinting, “So you are out of your mind.” He scoffed, wiping away a few of his tears even as he kept a steady hold on Ethan, begging for something, anything to keep him from falling apart. “You know I can’t do that either.” His tears began to fall harder, unable to keep himself together any longer, especially when the other looked at him pleadingly, closing his eyes, defeated when Leon confirmed that he wouldn’t be the one to kill him, he couldn’t. Maybe it was selfish on his end, but he refused to be the final nail in Ethan’s coffin.

All he could do was hold Ethan as he cried harder, lip quivering as he completely lost all ability to speak. He watched as the crystal made its way up his face, not paying attention to the fact that what he’d been holding had now been fully crystalized. Ethan’s breathing began to slow, even as the panic worsened as the beautiful mineral made its way up his throat, quickly beginning to take over his face. Leon only grasped at him harder, certainly cutting his palm on the sharp edges of what was his fiance’s supple flesh, skin he’d caressed and loved and kissed nowhere near enough. Ethan met his eyes again, fear in them as they began to gloss over, Leon’s throat constricted painfully as he watched him try to desperately get his face to move, though it was no longer his face. It’d been taken and calcified and everything in Leon’s hands was beginning to crumble into nothing. He panicked, but forced himself to get out the last words Ethan would ever hear.

“I will always love you. Rose will be okay.” Ethan’s eyebrows relaxed in response but Leon couldn’t be sure if it was because he’d heard him or because the long process of his death was finally finished as the rest of his face crystallized right before Leon’s eyes, crumbling into nothing soon after. Leon chased the remains of his lover, frantically grasping at the bed as he sobbed, wishing that he’d wake up at any moment, though deep down he knew that this was worse than any nightmare his mind could conjure up. He felt sick, like the remains of Ethan had somehow made their way into his throat, filling his lungs and threatening to kill him too. In a way, Leon had died then too.

He stared at ash coated hands, wiping at the wound that had been left on the palm of his hand, the only thing he had to remember Ethan by, that was until his eyes caught the shimmer of his ring against the bed, still hooked on the necklace he’d worn since the day he’d proposed. He brought it up to his lips hesitantly, pressing a kiss against his closed fist as he sobbed, wondering how he was going to tell Rose that it would only be the two of them from then on.

author’s note: feel free to let me know what you think :)

[chrookrit]

It was one of those mornings and Ethan sighed.

 The place in bed next to him, usually occupied by Leon, was already cold when the blond man touched it, he yawned softly and looked at his alarm clock: 7 am on a Sunday, it was one of Leon's days off.

 He hoped that maybe his husband was just making breakfast or had gone to the bathroom for a moment, maybe he was just getting a bottle of water; but after a minute of silence, the blond man got up, put on one of his shirts, and then waddled into the room next to the bedroom where Rose was sleeping.

 Just like he had thought, Leon knelt beside Rose's crib, his arm was between the bars, and he rested his hand gently on the baby's chest. "I didn't mean to wake you." Leon's voice was heavy, not from sleep, but from something else, and Ethan couldn't help but sit down next to the other man and hug him.

 "You didn't wake me, love ... Since when are you here?" Leon just shrugged and continued to stare at Rose, who was still fast asleep and breathing steadily. Ethan had to close his eyes for a moment and take a breath, he had to fight down his own tears and leaned his head against his husband's shoulder, in hopes of suppressing his emotions; he was trying for Leon's sake.

Sometimes the man just couldn't help but to cry for Leon, he knew how much his husband suffered and how hard it was for him sometimes when the nightmares returned, when he remembered unpleasant things, and Ethan always tried to be strong, to be a solid presence in Leon's life, authentic and always there for the man he loved so much.

 Leon, however, noticed Ethan's actions and took his husband's hand in his own, squeezing it and uttering a broken, "I'm sorry."

 Ethan shook his head harder than necessary, perhaps to dispel all the thoughts that were occupying his mind at the moment. He had to think, maybe Leon had forgotten to take his antidepressants, or Ethan hadn't noticed, and his husband had been feeling bad since yesterday, and it had intensified overnight.

 "Hey, I can hear you thinking." Leon tried to chuckle, but it came out as a sob, and the blond man hugged the agent tighter, trying to get closer. "When did it start?" Again, all he got was a shrug, which made Ethan take a deep breath. His lungs filled with air and ached as if he had not been breathing for minutes.

 "I just thought the nightmares were over, but then I thought Rose was gone and you were gone and I mean, I woke up next to you, so..." Leon had to gasp between his quiet sobs, and Ethan continued to hold him. "Well, I mean, I knew you weren't gone, but then I had to go check on Rosie and it all came back from the last mission, you know, and, and, I don't know. I'm sorry, Ethan."

 Ethan didn't try to refuse the apology; he knew Leon felt the need to apologize. Leon knew he didn't need to apologize.

 With a quick press of his lips to his husband's neck, Ethan stood up and ran his fingers through Leon's uncombed hair. "I'll make breakfast, okay? Then we'll see what the day brings, we could take Rose for a walk, it's warm outside." Leon nodded and grabbed his husband's hand again, holding it gently as he looked up at Ethan with glazed eyes, pulling him closer, pressing a kiss to his knuckles and putting a genuine smile on his lips.

 "I'd like that, I think Rosie's awake too." He turned his full attention to the child now. "Are you hungry, my angel? Do you want to go downstairs with your daddy and me?" - "With your daddies!" Ethan put extra emphasis on the 's' and couldn't help but snicker and cup his husband's face with his hands as Leon lifted their daughter up and then leaned down for a kiss.

 "Thank you, Ethan." he said, and what could Ethan do but to smile and walk toward the kitchen with an affectionate expression on his face as he looked at his little, broken and still perfect family?