#the Assassin and the Pirate Lord

[acourtofquestions]

So, I (of course😂) have a LOT of thoughts after finishing The Assassin’s Blade — heading into Heir of Fire, so I still don’t fully know the series… this is current non-spoiler thoughts — but let’s get into it:

First off let’s deal with a big one: Celaena and Arobynn.

…Mostly “big” because their entire relationship is so severely f*ed up it take’s a LOT to understand… However, the biggest thing that keeps sticking out to me is the fact that it does makes sense (I am NOT saying it’s right, or healthy; to be clear it is most definitely NOT) it is a disturbingly realistic portrayal of what THAT kind & level of abuse does to a person.

It is infuriatingly painful to watch; as the reader you can clearly see the issue; you want to scream at Celaena to RUN already, get out, NOW; you feel for Sam’s frustration at times becoming fury & terror at the fact she does not stop him.

Yet, it is not a lack of knowing or agreeing with this that makes Celaena stay; it isn’t even wanting to stay, often she confirms the opposite; it’s the fact that she is utterly terrified. At times Arobynn makes her revert into a terrified state of childlike fawning. All centered around the idea; I can only seem to explain using this quote (because Shakespeare has nothing on Taylor Swift; though the context of this is 100% NON romantic; that question mark on their relationship is utterly skin crawling) “Who’s going to know me?” if not Arobynn who is going to know Aelin Galathynius ever even existed?

… Everything Celaena has become she has been (falsely) taught into believing was “Arobynn given”; even her notoriety as the prized “Adarlan’s Assassin” is not by her mark but by his word. He has ensured at every opportunity that she does not forget it; that she feels small & one breath away from being prey, that she does not feel sure of herself or anything aside from him (and even that is a pendulum) that she is haunted by her past; and never forgets what it is to lose EVERYTHING. She lost everything. In that she had to destroy every piece of the girl she was; the one that had a family she loved; the one that had a home, a country, a purpose; anything she was before the one Arobynn pulled out of the river. And if not him; does anyone even remember? — Does it all cease to be nothing more than forgotten; her grief, her love, Aelin herself; is it any different than if Aelin had drowned in the river?

— This is Celaena’s obsession with being remembered; on the surface it appears shallow, selfish, full of nothing more than pride & arrogance alone; in truth it has more to do with fear (a key point of her character’s driving mindset) & purpose (a key point of humanity/morality).

… How does she make any sense of all she has done & become at Arobynn’s hand; every life she has taken, every terrible thing she has done; if not for him?

And this is why for so long she stays; because she is more afraid of the unknown & so tired of loss; it feels much safer to be known, to know the loss that will come, to hurt with familiar pain, to exist within a tether to his realm; then to feel as if she is risking everything over again.

[thxm8y]

Trying To Convince You To Read A Book Based On It's Aesthetic:

The Assassin and the Pirate Lord

( The Assassin's Blade ) - Throne of Glass 0.1

[inlovewithquotes]

"Sam," she murmured into his chest.

"Hmm?"

She peeled away from him, stepping out of his arms. "If you ever tell anyone about me embracing you... I'll gut you."

Sam gasped at her, then tipped his head back and laughed. He laughed and laughed, until dust lodged in his throat and he launched into a coughing fit. She let him suffer through it, not finding it very funny at all.

When he could breathe again, Sam cleared his throat. "Come on, Sardothien," he said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "If you're done liberating slaves and destroying pirate cities, then let's go home."

Celaena glanced at him sidelong and grinned.

-The Assassin And The Pirate Lord

[amjustgoose]

Big fan of those fanarts of all of Charlie's characters where it's just

- Charlie Slimecicle

- Charlie Slimecicle

- Charlie Slimecicle

- dnd character that vaguely looks like Charlie Slimecicle

- dnd character that really looks like Charlie Slimecicle

- SIR GILLION TIDESTRIDER, CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA, HERO OF THE DEEP, PIGEON LORD, THE ONE, WARRIOR OF ROCK AND ROLL, SINGER/SONGWRITER OF GILLION AND THE TIDESTRIDERS' HIT SINGLE "THE HOLE IN YOUR HEART", MOISTURE MASTER, HORSE TAMER, DEFENESTRATOR OF THE ADULTEROUS, FRIEND OF DUGON, DUGON'S BEST FRIEND, DUGON'S PAL, WALKING FISH, FISH, DIRT EATER, CHUM OF CHIBO AND CHUMS, CO-CAPTAIN GILL OF THE RIPTIDE PIRATES, CO-CAPTAIN OF THE ALBATROSS, COMPANION OF PRETZEL, PARAMOUNT CHAMPION, KNIGHTER OF JULIAN THAT ONE TIME, PRETZEL CARRIER, LEVIATHAN TAMER, SERPENT RIDER, BROTHER OF DUGON, HEALER OF THE SICK, FRIEND OF DUKE D DUKEM DUKE OF DOOKE, EATER OF GRASS, BEATER OF ASS, GRANDMA'S GOOD BOY, DISMANTLER OF EVIL, EATER OF SHIT, CAPITALISM HATER, ROYALTY ASSASSINATOR, SUFFERER OF THE SPICE, WEED EATER, SLAYER OF EVIL, LOFFINLOT LIBERATOR, FRUITNINJA, EATER OF SAND, JUICE ENJOYER, RESCUER OF JOHN, FISHY, BITCOIN MINER, NFT PURCHASER, DRIPLORD, GRANDMILLION, THE ONE WHO WILL CHANGE THE WORLD, ROLLER OF TENS, GRIMM SLAYER, IN NEED OF A DAD, GOBLIN GOBBLER, LIME LORD, TUBER, CHIP'S NIGHTMARE FUEL, MONSOON AND MOON SON, EATER OF ASS, PRETZEL SEEKER, VIBE MASTER, PUSSY SLAYER, MURDERER OF VICE ADMIRAL KUBA KENTA, GILLION MOTHER-FUCKING TITTY-SUCKING TIDESTRIDER, EGG HATER, BONG OBLITERATOR, BABY SIGNER, BABYGIRL, THE RED ONE, SKILLION LIEDSNEAKER, FISHY BOY, TIDESTRIZZER, RIZZ REVERENT, JORTS STORM, HERO OF THE HOUR, POPPER OF SACKS, TREE HUGGER, SUMMONER RIDER AND BROTHER OF LUCY.

[smoky-mountain-ghost]

Grizz. Babygirl. WHERE ARE MY LITTLE PIRATES.

We’re going CRAZY.

Chip Bastard. Jay Ferin. Gillion Tidestrider Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep Pigeon Lord, The One, Warrior of Rock and Roll, Singer/Songwriter of Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single "The Hole in Your Heart", Moisture Master, Horse Tamer, Defenestrator of the Adulterous, Friend of Dugon, Dugon's Best Friend, Dugon's Pal, Walking Fish, Fish, Dirt Eater, Chum of Chibo and Chums, Co-Captain Gill of the Riptide Pirates, Co-captain of the Albatross, Companion of Pretzel, Paramount Champion, Knighter of Julian That One Time, Pretzel Carrier, Leviathan Tamer, Serpent Rider, Brother of Dugon, Healer of the Sick, Friend of Duke D Dukem Duke of Dooke, Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass, Grandma's Good Boy, Dismantler of Evil, Eater of Shit, Capitalism Hater, Royalty Assassinator, Sufferer of the Spice, Weed Eater, Slayer of Evil, Loffinlot Liberator, Fruitninja, Eater of Sand, Juice Enjoyer, Rescuer of John, Fishy, Bitcoin Miner, NFT Purchaser, Driplord, Grandmillion, The One Who Will Change The World, Roller of Tens, Grimm Slayer, In Need of a Dad, Goblin Gobbler, Lime Lord, Tuber, Chip's Nightmare Fuel, Monsoon And Moon Son, Eater of Ass, Pretzel Seeker, Vibe Master, Pussy Slayer, Murderer of Vice Admiral Kuba Kenta, Gillion Mother-fucking Titty-sucking Tidestrider, Egg Hater, Bong Obliterator, Baby signer, Babygirl, The Red One, Skillion Liedsneaker, Fishy Boy, Tidestrizzer, Rizz Reverent, Jort Storm, Hero of the Hour, Popper of Sacks, Tree Hugger, Summoner Rider, Brother of Lucy and Gilly.

[valeovalairs]

Guys look it’s Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea-

-Hero of the Deep, Pigeon Lord, The One, Warrior of Rock and Roll, Singer/Songwriter of Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single "The Hole in Your Heart", Moisture Master, Horse Tamer, Defenestrator of the Adulterous, Friend of Dugon, Dugon's Best Friend, Dugon's Pal, Walking Fish, Fish, Dirt Eater, Chum of Chibo and Chums, Co-Captain Gill of the Riptide Pirates, Co-captain of the Albatross, Companion of Pretzel, Paramount Champion, Knighter of Julian That One Time, Pretzel Carrier, Leviathan Tamer, Serpent Rider, Brother of Dugon, Healer of the Sick, Friend of Duke D Dukem Duke of Dooke, Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass, Grandma's Good Boy, Dismantler of Evil, Eater of Shit, Capitalism Hater, Royalty Assassinator, Sufferer of the Spice, Weed Eater, Slayer of Evil, Loffinlot Liberator, Fruitninja, Eater of Sand, Juice Enjoyer, Rescuer of John, Fishy. Bitcoin Miner, NFT Purchaser, Driplord, Grandmillion, The One Who Will Change The World, Roller of Tens, Grimm Slayer. In Need of a Dad, Goblin Gobbler, Lime Lord, Tuber, Chip's Nightmare Fuel, Monsoon And Moon Son, Eater of Ass, Pretzel Seeker, Vibe Master, Pussy Slayer, Murderer of Vice Admiral Kuba Kenta, Gillion Motherfucking Titty-sucking Tidestrider, Egg Hater, Bong Obliterator, Baby signer, Babygirl, The Red One, Skillion Liedsneaker, Fishy Boy, Tidestrizzer, Rizz Reverent, Jorts Storm, Hero of the Hour, Popper of Sacks, Tree Hugger, Summoner Rider, Brother of Lucy and Gilly-

one without the background effects

[evilminji]

*Distant sound of frantic running growing closer*

*I throw open the door with manic eyes, breathing heavily*

Hatsume Mei! The Fenton's! Oh DEAR LORD. The Couple, the Doctors Fenton... would think she's A Lovely Young Lady ™! Normal even! Charming! I bet the Hatsume Adults would find to be a Charming And Upstanding Young Lad!

JAPAN ISNT READY.

If the GIW got out of hand? And Amity, as a town? Said "fuck ya'll we taken our ball and going home"? All they'd NEED to do? Is shut down the portal, get the skilled portal makers stationed at side A of town to open it up, rip the whole thing up, have the mover ghosts push it IN, aaaaaand? Everyone in? Good! We close it from the inside!

Fuck those guys.

Okay, so, I'm Jerry. You're real estate officer, we got some GREAT options for you this season! How do feel about ninjas? No? Pirates? Not feeling it? Superheroes? Seeing some interest! We got a- *continues their pitch as Amity is moved*

Amity get phased into the Japanese countryside.

What do you MEAN "there wasn't a town here?" Of course there way! We have roads and everything! Why are we all Americans? What're you a cop? Mind your business, spandex man.

.....yeah, they're gonna call this one a "Quirk accident".

Pay your taxes, folks, and we promise not to care!

Fenton's? Back in business, baby! Well, never STOPPED being in business. But details! They're now a "support company"! And yes! The quotation marks ARE on all their documents AND signs! They think it's stupid!

But you want lazers?

Oh ho hoooo~ DO WE HAVE LAZERS!!!

Maddie n Jack start hitting the scene. Conventions. Conferences. Fancy parties. Weirdly? They "unnerve" people. Cowards.

Until? Gasp? They meet just the LOVELIEST couple! Who are so FUN! Who ALSO has a daughter? Danny's age no less! Oh she is just PRECIOUS? Is that her first bomb? Aaaaaw~♡.

Danny feels a disturbance in the force.

Like... like his folks are... are about to try and introduce him to a Nice Young Girl again. The last time this happened was at mom's fighting competitions. She ended up being some sort of assassin royalty. Thankfully, she accepted he could commit to a life of murder, since he wanted to be an astronaut, but it was like this whole THING and- you know what? Not important!

Where are his parents!?

(Planning his wedding! Gotta incorporate BOTH the family's completely batshit Family Traditions!)

[read-watch-listen-17]

Oh Rolfe, gettin' beat by a 16 year old.

I like the subtle shift we see in Sam between the first meeting when they learn of Ben's death, and dealing with Rolfe and the slaves.

SPOILERS - The Assassins Blade (Throne of Glass Prequel Short Stories)

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.

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The Pirate Lord

Given that I already know Celaena and Sam get together, I love that he’s an ass to begin with. What can i say? I’m a sucker for a good enemies to lovers trope.

So at 16 Celaena is acting like she’s the best and she’s already been named Adarlan’s Assassin, but she’s not second in command. Although with Ben now dead maybe she’ll be named his second officially.

At first I thought it was weird that she was wearing a mask, but I guess she wouldn’t be quite as intimidating if her enemies new she was just a girl. On the other hand that would give her an advantage because it would lower her enemies’ guard. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, I don’t understand why Arobynn sent them to see Rolfe under the pretense of collecting a debt when they were actually entering into an agreement with him for slaves. That seems fishy to me. Like Celaena was thinking, why did Arobynn need them both out of the city? What’s he planning or taking care of that they couldn’t be around?

I loved that Celaena beat the pants off Rolfe twice! 🤣🤣 She’s only 16, and she says it herself. If she can beat him twice now, he’s not going to want to face her in a few years. Part of me hopes they do run into each other again. That would be so interesting. Especially for him to find out that she’s Aelin.

Anyway onto the next short story!

[acourtofquestions]

Sam Cortland has major “what if all I need is you” vibes and I am not okay

[sam24]

Metal Arm Cupid

Summary: Bucky didn't know what to expect in the 21st century. But he definitely didn't expect cute girls to barge into meeting rooms and beat people up.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

*****

Bucky made no attempt to stifle his yawn as he pretended to listen to the debrief (that was looking more like an argument to him) that was going on way too long for his liking, earning a sharp glare from Steve, but Bucky could tell that deep down, Steve wanted to hightail outta there too.

“Stop taking all the credit, Josh. I was the one who stabbed him. You just sat there and watched like an obese cow.”

Josh (Bucky thought his name was Jack until now) scoffed. “That’s Agent 16 to you, Avery.”

“It’s actually Avril, you little-”

“Agents, you better stop this instantly.” Fury narrowed his eyes at the bickering partners.

“Stop embarrassing me in front of the Avengers, Evelyn, and let me do the talking. Clearly you can’t because of those oversized donkey teeth of yours.” Josh paid no heed to Fury.

The girl (Avril?) gasped and her hand instinctively flew to cover her mouth. “Why you-”

“Okay, that’s enough.” A dangerously calm voice rang through the room.

All eyes flew towards Natasha, you looked like she was going to murder the next person who opened their mouth.

“This is why I don’t go on missions with sensitive baby agents.” She muttered in Russian.

Bucky cracked a smile.

“How come no one listens to me?” Fury grumbled.

“Probably because you aren’t a trained assassin with 20 different weapons hidden on your body, and I bet you also don’t know 5 different ways to kill someone with an oven mitt.” Clint whispered in Fury’s ear.

“It doesn’t matter who stabbed who, it matters what happened in the end. And in the end, I was the one you saved your ungrateful asses, so you can stop arguing like toddlers now.” Natasha growled.

Her eyes narrowed specifically at Josh.

Nobody spoke. Probably because no sane person wanted a bullet from Natasha’s gun in their head.

“You seriously couldn’t have done that 20 minutes ago?”

Of course, though, Tony Stark was far from sane.

“Shut up, Tony.” At least 5 different people said at the same time.

Josh cleared his throat, recovering from his mini paralysis stroke.

“No offense, but-”

Before Josh could get himself killed, loud voices outside of the door made everyone turn.

Honestly, they all probably would’ve turned even to watch a fly so they could ignore Josh’s excuses.

“Miss, I can’t let you-”

“I really don’t care, so move. Now.”

Bruce immediately sat up. “Is that Ace?”

“Oh, thank god.” Tony let out a dramatic sigh of relief. “I’m so bored right now, maybe she’ll make this actually interesting.”

Even though Bucky’s stay at the compound started recently, he had heard plenty of stories about you, the infamous ‘Ace’. To what he’d heard, you worked at the lab with Bruce and Tony, like a daughter to them both. You were an ‘intellectual sage’ (described by Barton), hence the nickname, Ace.

“I said, MOVE!”

“Banner, what is the meaning of this?” Fury ordered.

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows and completely ignored him. “What in the world is she doing?”

“Banner!”

“I SAID MOVE, DAMNIT.” A loud thud followed closely and the door was flung open so hard it practically ripped off of its hinges.

“Lord have mercy.” Bruce buried his face into his hands as you barged into the room, pulling along a terrified looking girl behind you.

Bucky’s eyebrows raised with interest as he took in your purple highlights, Converse High-Tops, and Gravity Falls shirt peeking out from under your lab coat.

“Look, missy, in case you haven’t noticed, this is a private meeting. I’m going to give you 5 seconds to leave before I have you escorted out instantly.” Fury demanded.

“Yeah, that’s cool, Patchy the Pirate, just give me a minute.” You weren’t even looking at Fury as you scanned the room.

“Ha! Patchy the Pirate! Laura’s gonna love this!” Clint smacked his hand on the table and leaned his chair back (and almost fell backwards if Steve didn’t catch it, but that’s not the point).

Fury looked like he was seriously contemplating life as you still didn’t spare him a glance, and your narrowed hawk eyes landed on someone behind Bucky.

He followed your gaze to meet Josh, who had raised two fingers in the air cockily to greet you and the girl behind you.

“Josh, you mother fucker.”

And before Steve could say ‘language!’ (yes, Bucky had caught on pretty quickly after Tony would say it every other sentence), you had crossed the room in what felt like just two strides and socked Josh right in the jaw.

The room erupted in chaos.

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Steve was up on his feet in a millisecond, his Captain America side taking over.

“That’s it, honey! Do it again!” Tony cheered.

“Is this some kind of Midgardian greeting that I have not yet been informed of?”

“Someone tell me what the hell is going on in my own meeting!”

“That was the best thing I’ve seen in my whole life.” Avril grinned.

Natasha didn’t say anything, but her face clearly said ‘girl, me too’.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” Sam chuckled from next to Bucky.

“Same.” Bucky muttered under his breath.

“Whoa hold up, did you just agree with me??”

“Shut up, pigeon brain.”

“Excu-”

The only thing that stopped Sam and Bucky’s cat fight was another punch to Josh’s precious face, this time right in the nose.

Bruce tried to reason with you from across the whole ass room, practically shouting over all the commotion as Steve tried to pull you away from Josh.

“Ace, sweetheart, why don’t you talk it out instead of going straight to violence? Doesn’t that sound like a better idea?”

“Sounds great, Bruce, but that’s not an option anymore!” You shouted back over your shoulder.

“Look, champ, it’s not right to randomly punch people like that!” Steve was still trying to pry you away from Josh.

“Look, Pops,” You mocked. “It’s also not right to cheat on your girlfriend with some random chick you ran into at a bar!”

Everything stopped.

Except Josh’s struggling from your grasp.

“He cheated on you?” Tony broke the silence, looking like he was going to blast Josh into outer space. “Wait, when were you guys even together? And why in the goddamn world would you date that guy?”

“Not me, dimwit, her.” You point your free hand that was not gripped on Josh’s collar at the girl behind you, looking ready to sprint out of there when all eyes landed on her.

“Just leave it, ma moitié, it’s not worth it.” She said quietly, her words coated in a thick french accent.

Bucky recognized her as the nice agent who gave him a coffee last week after Sam ‘accidentally’ knocked over Bucky’s.

“Just leave it? Absolutely not, hun!”

“Listen to her, Ace.” Bruce pleaded.

“No! This sleazy bastard cheated on my best friend! No fucking way! Literally, who the hell would cheat on a cute french girl?”

“Ace, violence isn’t the right way to-”

“Excuse me?” Josh’s voice rang out, sounding like someone was holding his nose closed shut. “Can someone get me an ice pack?”

You whipped around towards him.

“You. Want. An. Ice pack.” You restated, shooting daggers- no, 7 inch sharp kitchen knives at him.

“My nose hurts.” Josh rolled his eyes. “Y’know, after you turned all Crazy Psycho Lady on me and broke it.”

“You know what?” Your smile dripped with bitterness and sarcasm. “How about I punch it again so it’ll go numb and it won’t hurt anymore?”

You reached your arm backwards to land another punch, but Steve rushed to grab you again, and the chaos resumed.

Tony was instructing you to “kick Steve in the balls and resume beating the shit out of Josh”, while Bruce was very strongly vetoing the idea.

Sam and Clint, meanwhile, were placing bets on how much the medical bill was gonna be.

Suddenly, Bruce rushed over to Bucky.

“Look, man, you gotta help me.”

Bucky looked at Bruce with wide eyes. “Me?”

“Yeah! If you tell her to stop, she would in a heartbeat!”

“Why?” Bucky knew where this was going.

“Because of your metal arm!”

Bucky’s heart sank. Of course you were scared of it. Everyone was. They thought it made him a monster.

So did he.

Even though he was so, so grateful to Shuri for trying to help him feel like a new person with a new arm that wasn’t associated with HYDRA, that bloody ruthless murderer that they made him into never seemed to leave.

He would always be him.

No matter how hard he tried, the memories followed him like a lost puppy, attacking at night when he was trying to sleep.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never shake off the imprint HYDRA had left on him.

No matter how hard he tried or how much Steve told him otherwise, Bucky was still a monster.

A cruel, cold-hearted, evil monster who killed the innocent.

Who killed innocent men, women, and children who didn’t deserve to be killed.

He was the one who deserved to be killed.

“She’s absolutely obsessed with it!”

Bucky choked on his spit.

“Wha-w-what?”

“She adores it.” Bruce rushed. “She says it’s, and I quote, the most beautiful and extraordinary thing to ever be made in history.”

Okay, so apparently Bucky did not know where that was going.

“Still not convinced?” Bruce groaned. “She thinks it’s the most amazing thing in the galaxy. She says it’s the ‘peak of engineering’. You can ask Tony if you still don’t believe me.”

Tony wasn’t extremely fond of Bucky, and neither was Bucky of him, so he decided to take Bruce’s word for it, no matter how much it shocked him.

She likes my arm?

Just because she likes your arm doesn’t mean she likes you, idiot.

“Uh, okay? So, um, what do I do?”

“Tell her to stop!” Bruce lightly shoved Bucky forward when he slowly got up out of his seat.

Bucky hesitantly took a step forward, his mind still trying to process everything.

Bucky maneuvered around Steve, tapping you - who was still out to get it for Josh- on the shoulder after a moment of hesitation.

“Bruce, I already told you, it’s too late-” You spun out of Steve’s grip, but your mouth dropped open when you realized it was not Bruce.

You stared at Bucky with wide eyes. But not out of fear.

Out of adoration.

He was struck with a sudden flash of nostalgia of how his mom looked at him when he gave her a card for Mother’s Day when he was 6.

"Oh, Jamie, I love it.” She had said as she read it with a soft smile.

And that same smile was on your face. “Um, hi there.”

He smiled back.

But not one of those fake smiles he put on to make Steve happy. An actual genuine smile.

And it felt good.

You smoothed out your coat, taking in a breath. “Can I help you?”

Steve stared at the two of you, a grin spreading onto his face.

“I’m not surprised. Those psychos are perfect for each other.” Josh rolled his eyes.

Neither of you heard him.

“Hi, I’m Bucky.”

“She knows.” Tony groaned.

“Shut up, Tony.” Your eyes never left Bucky’s. “Hi Bucky.”

He saw your eyes light up as they made their way to look at his metal arm.

Bruce cleared his throat loudly.

“So, um, Ace. The arm has been giving me a bit of trouble recently. I was wondering if you could maybe take a look at it?” Bucky glanced at Bruce before looking back at you.

“He means now.” Bruce added.

You looked like you were going to faint out of excitement.

“Y-yeah, of course.”

Bruce let out a loud sigh of relief.

“Um, actually.” Bucky started.

Bruce’s head shot up and started mouthing something to Bucky - probably something along the lines of ‘No! Get her out of here before she kills him!’- but he was busy looking at you.

“Maybe you wanna grab a coffee first?”

[inlovewithquotes]

"How old are you?" Each of his steps was carefully placed, but she noticed that he kept shifting to expose his left side.

"Sixteen." She didn't bother to keep her voice low and gravelly.

Rolfe swore. "Arobynn sent a sixteen year old to deal with me?"

"He sent the best of the best. Consider that an honor."

-The Assassin And The Pirate Lord

[autocorrection]

Sir Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep, Pigeon Lord, The One, Warrior of Rock and Roll, Singer/Songwriter of Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single "The Hole in Your Heart", Moisture Master, Horse Tamer, Defenestrator of the Adulterous, Friend of Dugon, Dugon's Best Friend, Dugon's Pal, Walking Fish, Fish, Dirt Eater, Chum of Chibo and Chums, Co-Captain Gill of the Riptide Pirates, Co-captain of the Albatross, Companion of Pretzel, Paramount Champion, Knighter of Julian That One Time, Pretzel Carrier, Leviathan Tamer, Serpent Rider, Brother of Dugon, Healer of the Sick, Friend of Duke D Dukem Duke of Dooke, Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass, Grandma's Good Boy, Dismantler of Evil, Eater of Shit, Capitalism Hater, Royalty Assassinator, Sufferer of the Spice, Weed Eater, Slayer of Evil, Loffinlot Liberator, Fruitninja, Eater of Sand, Juice Enjoyer, Rescuer of John, Fishy, Bitcoin Miner, NFT Purchaser, Driplord, Grandmillion, The One Who Will Change The World, Roller of Tens, Grimm Slayer, In Need of a Dad, Goblin Gobbler, Lime Lord, Tuber, Chip's Nightmare Fuel, Monsoon And Moon Son, Eater of Ass, Pretzel Seeker, Vibe Master, Pussy Slayer, Murderer of Vice Admiral Kuba Kenta, Gillion Mother-fucking Titty-sucking Tidestrider, Egg Hater, Bong Obliterator, Baby signer, Babygirl, The Red One, Skillion Liedsneaker, Fishy Boy, Tidestrizzer, Rizz Reverent, Jort Storm, Hero of the Hour, Popper of Sacks, Tree Hugger, Summoner Rider, Brother of Lucy and Gilly.

[xzerosparrowx]

An Attempt to Steal the Crown Jewels

For the August @astrangersummer.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Prompt: Modern/Royal AU| wc: 717 | Rating: G | tags: Rogue/Thief Eddie, King Steve, an attempt to steal the crown jewels, based on a real historical event.

Steve awoke with a start, sweat soaked sheets tangled between his legs, his heaving chest calming as the nightmare gave way to wakefulness. The room was still dark, the blue hour just before the first cold rays of morning could peek over the horizon.

He shivers as he lays back down, bringing the heavy blankets over his chest. The fireplace, burning low into coals, could barely keep the chill of early winter out of the large chamber.

Snap!

He bolts up, eyes fixed upon the window closest to him, unsure if he is awake or still dreaming, hands twitching towards the rapier at his bedside. Then he hears it, the creak and rustle of something moving up the trellis just outside his window.

“Shit!” Hisses a voice, and Steve leaps out of bed, grabbing the rapier, positioning himself against the wall next to the window.

Steve presses himself further against the wall as a mop of hair finally comes into view. He watches curiously as a man pulls himself up, laying out a leather purse against the windowsill, a gloved hand pulling out a long needle-like tool.

It eludes Steve as to why he only thinks to watch the man, not once does it come upon him to actually step in front of the window to make his presence known to the intruder. He watches the man in fascination take the tool and with smooth, practiced hands silently unlock the latch to the window. With feline grace the man steps through, long lean legs wrapped in dark leather stretching over the windowsill, heeled boots silently landing on the dark wood floors.

It is only then, when the man is standing in his bedchamber, that Steve even considers saying something.

“If you're looking for the bathroom, you've climbed the wrong window.” The man springs back with a yelp, crashing into a desk, bottles of ink and glass clattering to the floor.

“My lord?” a voice tentatively calls out from behind the large french door. The man in black, sprawled on the floor amongst the mess, stares up Steve with large brown eyes, pleading.

“Everything is fine! I failed to see where I was going, again,” Steve replies back, stepping towards the man and pointing his rapier at the base of the stranger's neck.

The pair watch each other silently as they listen for the footsteps outside to disappear.

“What do you have to say for yourself, assassin?”

“I am no assassin, my lord!” the man avows in a rush, holding his hands up in deference. “I confess I did not have good intentions for my visit, but it was never violent in nature.”

“Visiting someone usually means you go through the front door, invited,” Steve scoffs, lowering his sword a fraction.

“Wrong choice of words, my lord,” the man says, scrambling to kneel, “I came to steal the crown jewels-” Steve raises the rapier again, “-but I assure you I have a legitimate reason and a very good story to tell.”

Steve considers it for a moment, staring at the leather-clad man before him. “Very well, I'm in need of a good story, and I would like to know how you managed to climb over the wall and pass the palace guards… Your name?” Steve smiles, taking a seat on a chair by the fireplace and pointing to the second seat opposite.

“Eddie Munson, my lord,” the man leaps up, taking a seat, “well, it all started with the dread pirate Vecna…”

The man is a bundle of excitement and nerves, launching into a story about beautifully tragic maidens, a host of silly yet brilliant children and a pirate with dark, supernatural powers. It is all fantastical, far too fascinating to hold any truth, but Steve finds himself enthralled nonetheless, captivated by the way Eddie weaves the tapestry of his story.

“Brilliant tale,” Steve chuckles when Eddie finishes, “though it does not explain why you've come to steal the crown jewels.”

“Ah, yes, well turns out you don't make any money on adventures like that.”

Steve barks with laughter, loud and happy, his sides and cheeks hurting by the time he manages to calm down.

“I'll do you one better than the crown jewels,” Steve stands, holding out his hand to Eddie, “how about a land and title?”

A/N: This story is inspired by Thomas Blood, a guy who tried to steal the crown jewels, stood before King Charles, and was given land instead. Horrible Histories did a really great skit based on it, I recommend watching it on YouTube.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez Masterlist - Discography Ver.

Basically ateez's tracklist but with the ffs linked! click on the song and you'll be led to the content which will have a detailed description + warnings of its own. enjoy <3 and special thanks to @eightmakesonebraincell for helping me out with the formatting! (PLAYS = word count, CREDITS = description). P.S: for reactions, requests and headcanons, pls refer to the masterlist here <3

TOTAL STREAMS (WC): 976,781~ (as of 10/09/24)

TREASURE EP.1: All to Zero

# Title

1 Intro: Long Journey

2 해적왕 (Pirate King)

3 Treasure

4 Twilight

5 Stay

YEOSANG (ft. princess!reader) 18,692 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where yeosang is an archer and he replaces your tutor and keeps your secret, joins you in finding some adventure in life and eventually, helps you find true love.

6 My Way

MINGI (ft. princess!reader) 18,619 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where mingi is your bodyguard and you, the princess, travel to the enemy nation to expose the schemes of your betrothed, risking your life when you can't hold back your feelings for your guard anymore.

TREASURE EP.2: Zero to One

# Title

1 HALA HALA (Hearts Awakened, Live Alive)

MINGI (ft. human!reader) 26,976 PLAYS CREDITS: fantasy au where the shadow demon is cursed to share a body with mingi. mingi encounters you when you run away from home and you decide to stick with him. you start falling for both the demon and mingi but tragic consequences await you as you learn more about the curse.

2 Say My Name

3 Desire

4 Light

SEONGHWA (ft. chemist!reader) 32,159 PLAYS CREDITS: mafia au where seonghwa, the drug lord, gets possessed by an angel when you conduct an experiment to steal the angel's essence to enhance your drugs. the angel falls in love with the devil- you- but your heart remains conflicted between the angel and seonghwa.

5 Promise

YUNHO (ft. princess!reader) 23,068 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where you, princess of eden, find yourself in an arranged marriage with prince yunho of wonderland and find your homelands at war with each other, making you wonder what will become of your marriage esp when you fall for him.

TREASURE EP.3: One To All

# Title

1 Utopia

2 Illusion

3 Crescent

SAN (ft. bodyguard/assassin!reader) 17,274 PLAYS CREDITS: royal/fantasy au where san is the prince and you are hired to be his bodyguard and personal assassin as he travels to eden to uncover secrets and a possible betrayal.

4 Wave

MINGI (ft. teacher!reader) 7,881 PLAYS CREDITS: high school-ish au where you both are teachers and accompany students to a one week trip as per your suggestion, experiencing your own high school romance

5 Aurora

YUNHO (ft. spy!reader) 26,543 PLAYS CREDITS war au where you are a spy/cryptographer in the enemy nation and meet yunho, skilled strategist and cryptographer, win his favour to get on his team so you can eventually get to the medical research department to expose their plans, but fall in love with him in the process, fearing the day he'll learn your true identity.

6 Dancing Like Butterfly Wings

TREASURE EP.FIN: All To Action

# Title

1 Wonderland

2 Dazzling Light

YEOSANG (ft. human!reader) 26,709 PLAYS CREDITS: fantasy au where yeosang is an angel on his last mission and you, a mere human, messes his mission making him stay for longer than he'd like... until he starts actually liking it (and you) and finds himself in a life-threatening situation.

3 안개 (Mist)

SAN (ft. mediator!oc) 53,807 PLAYS CREDITS: supernatural au where the oc, seohyun, is a mediator- someone who can see and interact with the dead and helps them move on. she befriends san and together, they navigate through a journey of danger and thrill, heartbreak and love, and tragedy that drives them worlds apart.

4 Win

WOOYOUNG (ft. princess/assassin reader) 42,555 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where wooyoung is an envoy from utopia, also undercover, and finds out your identity. a secret shared, you try to prevent utopia from taking your homeland while he helps though you can't help but question his loyalty multiple times- even when you're falling for each other.

5 If Without You

WOOYOUNG (ft. reader) 14,449 PLAYS CREDITS: best friends to lovers au where your childhood friend wooyoung moves in with you as he adjusts to the city and you try to get used to his presence without revealing your romantic feelings for him.

6 친구 (THANK U)

7 Sunrise

SAN (ft. soldier!reader) 29,895 PLAYS CREDITS: you and san are majors in the special forces. you think the idea of romance while being in the military is stupid for a number of reasons, but san thinks otherwise and decides to prove his point, making you question your beliefs.

8 걸어가고 있어 (WITH U)

TREASURE EPILOGUE : Action To Answer

# Title

1 Answer

2 지평선 (Horizon)

SAN (ft. oc) 100,725 PLAYS CREDITS: royal/fantasy au where san, faerie prince of earth, finds gaeul who came back from the dead as a part of a darkling's evil schemes, her magic now unnatural and dark. san realises he might be connected to gaeul in unimaginable ways, the bond they share serving as both their salvation and demise. SPINOFF (TAKE ME HOME)

3 Star 1117

WOOYOUNG (ft. alienoid!reader) 26,332 PLAYS CREDITS: space apocalypse au where wooyoung the human from earth gets arrested in the temporal nexus galaxy by you and joins you on a mission to attempt to save the galaxy and find star 1117, while also teaching you the meaning of 'home is where the heart is'.

4 Precious

5 Outro: Long Journey

TREASURE EP. Map To Answer

# Title

1 Declaration

2 Better

YEOSANG (ft. reader) 9,302 PLAYS CREDITS: enemies to lovers au where you belong to rival gangs but find yourselves at the mercy of a common enemy and have no choice but to rely on each other and address your confusing feelings for each other.

ZERO : FEVER Part.1

# Title

1 Dear Diary: 2016.07.29

2 FEVER

3 THANXX

4 지평선춤을 춰 (TO THE BEAT)

5 INCEPTION

6 Good Lil Boy

WOOYOUNG (ft. princess!reader) 23,785 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where you meet prince wooyoung, your best friend and your worst enemy, at a retreat in another kingdom and you start to cross personal boundaries with each other in the name of bets, unable to keep your hands off each other.

7 One Day At A Time

YUNHO, SEONGHWA (ft. reader) 18,565 PLAYS CREDITS: royal/war? au where seonghwa and yunho are both the king's trusted guards and best friends. you fell for seonghwa, married and had a daughter with him before losing him forever. later, you fall for yunho- a loving father to your daughter and a husband who gave you enough space and time to grieve and fall for him.

ZERO : FEVER Part.2

# Title

1 불놀이야 Fireworks (I’m the One)

HONGJOONG (ft. reader) 25,903 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where prince hongjoong holds a selection- 30 eligible candidates from the kingdom competing against each other, one of which would be his wife and the future princess. you're only a translator to one of the candidates but you catch his eye.

2 ���도부 (The Leaders)

3 Time of Love

JONGHO (ft. reader) 19,800 PLAYS CREDITS: friends to lovers au where jongho is your brother's best friend (yeosang) and the three of you share a living space. you catch up with jongho and your feelings for him resurface with all their might.

4 Take Me Home

SEONGHWA (ft. oc) 155,416 PLAYS CREDITS: royal/fantasy au where yena (oc) with a magical block on her memories goes on a journey to uncover her past, encountering the eight faerie princes and learning her identity and fighting against an evil scheme as she falls for prince seonghwa of dark, a love that transcends the boundaries of time, space and magic.

5 Celebrate

Into the A to Z

# Title

1 Still Here

Dreamers

# Title

1 Dreamers

2 Blue Summer

Season Songs

# Title

1 바다 보러 갈래? (Be My Lover)

2 여름날의 겨울동화 (White Love)

HONGJOONG (ft. fireprincess!reader) 24,832 PLAYS CREDITS: fantasy au where hongjoong is the ice prince and sets a neverending winter in the land and you, the fire princess, find him trapped. as you team up against the threats on your lives, you make unexpected friends and find love.

3 검은 고양이 네로 (The Black Cat Nero)

ZERO : FEVER Part.3

# Title

1 Eternal Sunshine

HONGJOONG (ft. reader) 23,393 PLAYS CREDITS: you and hongjoong meet on the train and instantly connect, becoming friends and more, but you're both plagued by a past that you can't remember, and when you start digging into it you realise that your pasts may be connected and the situation might be graver than you thought.

2 Feeling Like I Do

YUNHO (ft. reader) 4,671 PLAYS CREDITS: you and yunho have been best friends since forever and neighbours for a while, and you find it harder with each passing day to hide your feelings for him.

3 Deja Vu

SEONGHWA (ft. reader) 22,281 PLAYS CREDITS: past life/reincarnation au where seonghwa was hades and you were persephone and in the present, seonghwa is a detective and you are a florist and you meet during his case investigation, your encounters making you relive your memories from your past life.

4 ROCKY

5 All About You

6 Not Too Late (밤하늘)

ZERO : FEVER EPILOGUE

# Title

1 야간비행 (Turbulence)

2 Be With You

SEONGHWA (ft. spy/defector!reader) 23,593 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where you're a spy for the king but he tainted your name and imprisoned you in the enemy nation as a defector, imprisoning your sister as leverage. once you run, you encounter seonghwa- the king's right hand- save his life and use him to get to the castle, wondering if he'll still love you when he learns the truth.

3 The Letter

4 멋 (The Real) (흥 : 興 Heung Ver.)

5 Outro : Over the Horizon

Don't Stop

# Title

1 Don't Stop

BEYOND : ZERO

# Title

1 The King

THE WORLD EP.1 : MOVEMENT

# Title

1 Propaganda

2 Sector 1

3 Cyberpunk

JONGHO (ft. programmer!reader) 23,750 PLAYS CREDITS: you're a programmer in the eden droid project and you find your boyfriend jongho as the droid assigned for you to 'fix'- you wonder if it was just an awful conincidence. you run away with him so you can turn him back to human but it starts going wrong and you find yourself learning shocking truths as you make plans for the downfall of the project.

4 Guerrilla

YUNHO (ft. writer!reader) 27,902 PLAYS CREDITS: he's a doctor, part time serial killer/vigilante. you're a gore crime fiction writer. you move in with him despite the strict and strange rules and somehow, you both end up falling for each other amidst lies, secrets, past traumas and a detective who suspects you.

5 The Ring

6 WDIG (Where Do I Go)

JONGHO (ft. reader) 23,701 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where jongho is hired as your bodyguard under your father's order bc you are a gossip-dealer who owns hotel crescent. with your father as your opposition when you support two different princes of two different nations at war, you wonder where jongho's loyalty lie.

7 New World

HONGJOONG (ft. royalphysician!reader) 27,397 PLAYS CREDITS: royal au where hongjoong is the crown prince and you're the royal physician to the king and you strike a deal with him- you'd kill the king for him to speed up his coronation while he grant you some benefits. you start getting greedy with each other though and things take a dark turn.

THE WORLD EP.PARADIGM

# Title

1 Intro: Siren

YEOSANG (ft. sirenhunter!reader) 27,894 PLAYS CREDITS: enemies to lovers au where yeosang is a siren and you're immune to a siren's call. while you help each other get your respective revenge and overcome a curse that starts turning you into a siren, you find that yeosang isn't the monster you thought all sirens to be.

2 Paradigm

3 Outro: Liberty

SPIN OFF : FROM THE WITNESS

# Title

1 Halazia

2 Outro: Blue Bird

LIMITLESS

# Title

1 Limitless

SAN (ft. queen!reader) 28,912 PLAYS CREDITS: you're the princess of utopia, queen of eden by marriage to the king. for a whole year of marriage, you've taken his abuse but you're planning his downfall and you find an unexpected ally in the king's right hand choi san. he not only helps you plan but also shows you how it is like to be truly loved and wanted.

2 Diamond

[lynntr]

Can you please draw Sir Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep, Pigeon Lord, The One, Warrior of Rock and Roll, Singer/Songwriter of Gillion and the Tidestriders' hit single "The Hole in Your Heart", Moisture Master, Horse Tamer, Defenestrator of the Adulterous, Friend of Dugon, Dugon's Best Friend, Dugon's Pal, Walking Fish, Fish, Dirt Eater, Chum of Chibo and Chums, Co-Captain Gill of the Riptide Pirates, Co-captain of the Albatross, Companion of Pretzel, Paramount Champion, Knighter of Julian That One Time, Pretzel Carrier, Leviathan Tamer, Serpent Rider, Brother of Dugon, Healer of the Sick, Friend of Duke D Dukem Duke of Dooke, Eater of Grass, Beater of Ass, Grandma's Good Boy, Dismantler of Evil, Eater of Shit, Capitalism Hater, Royalty Assassinator, Sufferer of the Spice, Weed Eater, Slayer of Evil, Loffinlot Liberator, Fruitninja, Eater of Sand, Juice Enjoyer, Rescuer of John, Fishy, Bitcoin Miner, NFT Purchaser, Driplord, Grandmillion, The One Who Will Change The World, Roller of Tens, Grimm Slayer, In Need of a Dad, Goblin Gobbler, Lime Lord, Tuber, Chip's Nightmare Fuel, Monsoon And Moon Son, Eater of Ass, Pretzel Seeker, Vibe Master, Pussy Slayer, Murderer of Vice Admiral Kuba Kenta, Gillion Mother-fucking Titty-sucking Tidestrider, Egg Hater, Bong Obliterator, Baby signer, Babygirl, The Red One, Skillion Liedsneaker, Fishy Boy, Tidestrizzer, Rizz Reverent, Jorts Storm, Hero of the Hour, Popper of Sacks, Tree Hugger, Summoner Rider, Brother of Lucy and Gilly-?❤️

Im gonna be so honest i had an audible reaction to this ask

[sadlynotthevoid]

LCF AU in which Og!Cale, ever since he was a kid, can understand aquatic creatures. Not only the normal animals, not only the magic ones, but also the lake spirits that live in the forest near his home, the youkai that hides in the Ubarr territory's coast, the ghosts haunting a pirate ship, the undines he saw when his mom took him in a trip, all of them.

So, when he feels the lake spirit calling him one night in the bar, he stops mid-sentence, tilts his head to listen and leaves.

Once he reaches the lake— the dangerous one, not the poisoned one— the lady herself comes out to the surface to meet him. Long, translucid water snakes surround her and move in front of her, carrying a giant bubble with them.

"She worked hard for this life of yours."

The bubble floated towards the shore.

"So take good care of them. Prove him she was right."

"Who?"

His hand touched the sphere.

"Gods. Our Sea Goddess may not be a major god, but she's loyal and her love is as endless as the ocean. She won't allow the last with her blessing to be stepped on so easily."

That night Cale learned that his ability was a gift. A sign of the blessing that held his family once upon a time.

As soon as the lake spirit submerged again and the waters calmed down, the bubble exploded. It was a good thing that Cale had always been a creative mind, because he doesn't know how he would had managed to carry three men down through the mountain otherwise.

"Hahhh."

He only wanted to drink, cause a little fuss to ban himself from the next noble event. Why was that when he finally was starting to feel drunk for once— well, maybe he did wanted to get drunk this time, it had been a hard week, ok?— the universe threw him a new task.

Now he was trapped building a semi-sleigh with three unconscious men at his side. It just had to be Tuesday.

Bonus:

Back at the bar,

Cale: Harris Village? Why should my fa— *goes still*

Choi Han: (His fa?)

Cale: *tilts his head, brows furrowed in concentration* Huh. *Leaves*

Choi Han: ...what happened?

Bartender: The fuck I know. The Lord's castle is right at the end of that path. If there's something to report, go there and talk to the guards or Hans, the butler.

Choi Han: Thanks.

Bartender: Now get off if you're not going to drink. You're scaring my customers.

Beacrox, hiding in the shadows: *confused assassin noises*

[After Choi Han leaves]

Bartender: Phew.

Waitress: You okay, boss?

Bartender: I feel like I lost half of my life. Who enters into a shop holding a sword and covered in blood? Youth this days.

Waitress: I'm mostly relieved the young master left when he did. He had that look in his eyes, again.

Bartender: *gets stiff* Thanks grandma in the heavens. I'd have to close if that punk was killed here.

Waitress: Oh shush. You love him.

Bartender: He's a noisy punk. He comes, drinks some bottles, breaks something and then he's gone again. He's part of the bar routine at this point.