#the 3am motivation hit me hard

[thebeaniemartineau]

May plaits Nuala’s hair, sometime in the future (maybe 1943?). I tried shading in the same way it is on the cover, and Nuala is wearing her dress from the cover of the new puzzle book. @redbreastedbird

[feyburner]

I ??? woke up at 3am with this scene fully written in my mind palace and quickly jotted it down in the Notes app

*

Clark’s shaking his head before he realizes he’s doing it, and feels a twinge of embarrassment at his own bad manners when Bruce stops mid-word to look at him, brows raised.

“No?” he says.

“No,” Clark says, again without thinking, and again with the reflexive urge to apologize. Somewhere his mother is tutting without knowing why. But he doesn’t apologize, because he’s already saying, “No, it can’t—it can’t be that.”

“Okay,” Bruce says slowly. “Can you elaborate?”

He is, honestly, having trouble taking his eyes off the screen. The mockup design of his new suit is there, dark and sleek, ridged like tactical gear. The blue is like the last shade of evening before you can’t call it evening anymore, the color of nine PM in Kansas in July, so exact there’s a strong chance Bruce color-picked it from a photo. The yellow accents are the cool fluorescent yellow-green of lightning bugs. The red is dark as arterial blood. Every aspect of the suit has been updated—the colors deeper, the angles sharper, the S extending to the corners of its frame—but Bruce has done it without changing the fundamentals. It’s immediately recognizable as the Superman suit, just… well, a little cooler, maybe. A little more of the times. Even the tailoring is modernized. The neckline. The shape of the boots. Where the belt hits at the waist. Clark can tell just by looking that Bruce has not only spent a lot of time on this in general, he’s spent a lot of time designing it specifically with Clark in mind, Clark’s needs and preferences and the small discomforts of his current suit, things he might have mentioned offhand after a mission but never with the assumption that Bruce was listening or filing it away. No doubt the next slides of this presentation will detail all the hidden features of the new suit, and they’ll all be incredibly thoughtful if not slightly overkill, and Bruce will pretend his sole motive here was practicality and risk reduction and respond to any thanks with a curt nod.

And Clark wants to thank him. He will. It’s just.

“It can’t be… cool,” he says, inane. Bruce is watching him with that steady look that used to feel clinical, piercing, and now mostly reads as attentive. “It can’t be—like yours. Tactical, military-grade.”

“Lightyears beyond, actually.”

“It has to—Ma said once, a kid should be able to draw it with crayons. You know? I can’t look like a weapon. I have to—I want to look like a friend.”

He can feel himself flushing. It’s rare that he speaks like this, and rarer still that he does so while being stared at intently. Bruce may think of himself as the darkness, but his gaze is a spotlight: unwavering and revealing and more a little sweat-inducing, for one reason or another.

“Sometimes, when I show up, people laugh,” Clark says. “If it’s somewhere out of the way, where they haven’t seen me before. I show up and I look like a festival performer. It’ll be the worst day of their lives, and they’ve got no reason to trust my face, but when they see what I’m wearing—it goes from ‘Who are you?’ to ‘Who is this guy?’ And that’s a good thing.”

“Hard to be afraid of a man dressed in primary colors,” Bruce says, almost to himself.

“Exactly.”

“I see. Thank you,” he says, “for explaining.”

Clark tries not to show how surprised he is to hear that. Judging by the crook of Bruce’s mouth, his success is negligible. “Of course. Sorry I didn’t—I mean, thank you, obviously, for going to such trouble. I didn’t mean to come in here and—I really do appreciate it, I can tell you put a lot of work in—”

Bruce’s eyes cut away. “No. No need. I didn’t ask, before I…. It was only a first draft. If you’re amenable, I’ll incorporate your feedback into the second one.”

“Oh! Yeah. Yes, of course, but you really don’t have to—”

“If you have any further notes, I would like to hear them.”

There’s something determined in the lines of his face. Clark has the sense that this moment is important, that it’s a turning point, even if he’s not sure why. It feels like striking out into a sea of ice, a blank white expanse under which something precious and vital is hidden, has been hidden all along, just waiting for him to find it. To want to.

“Sure,” he says. He looks back at the suit and swallows, and knows Bruce will see the flicker of his throat and take some meaning from it, and wishes he knew what the meaning was. Or maybe Bruce won’t notice or read into it at all. Maybe Clark needs to calm down, in fact. “Um. I don’t want to assume, but does it… do things?”

“It does things,” Bruce confirms, after the barest pause. “Let me show you the next slide.”

[tmntxthings]

Hey, I hope this request motivates you a bit! I was wondering if you could do little scenarios with the Rise boys reacting to accidentally hitting their S/O while they stretched?

You know that thing that happens when you're standing too close to someone and they move or do something and end up hitting you in the face, it happened to me at college sobs 😭

Have a lovely day! <3

一∑ Accidents Happen・゜・。

author’s note: sksksks sure sure, I wanna say this has happened to me too but I can’t recall a specific scenario which makes me think it has happened just I’ve obliterated it from my memory out of embarrassment?!?

note 2.0: so I did Raph’s first, forever ago and a bit of Leo’s then just now I did Donnie’s and Mikey’s, everyone’s is a bit different and it’s like 3am idk how to feel! BUT WE POST ANYWAYS

warnings: cursing, injuries caused by accident, attempts at humor, crack, fluff, unedited

—————————————————————————

Raph was super excited to help you learn self-defense! It was a great skill to have. Just in case ya know! Plus it would make you feel more confident too.

“First things first! We gotta loosen up, I usually start with arm stretches.” Raph said with a toothy grin. He couldn’t stop smiling. He loved being able to hang out with you, but you had asked him personally to train you for self defense. Not any of his brothers! He was honored and didn’t want to mess up!

Raph then grabbed his left elbow and started to pull it, making the muscles there taunt. You immediately started to copy him. Asking if your form was right which had Raph moving closer and correcting you just slightly. “Just like that! Now other side!” And when Raph went through with the motion of doing his other arm, it was too late.

The smack resounded throughout the weight room and if things couldn’t be anymore horrible, because of his stature, he had quite literally smacked your face.

Stunned you held your cheek. It stung. And Raph was a ball of tears instantly. “Oh— Y/n!!!! Are you okay??? I’m so sorry!!! I didn’t mean to, I should’ve backed up!! I got too close and— Raph’s so so sorry.” He was on his knees in front of you. Telling you to smack his face in return. And you just laughed, saying that it was okay.

“Once I learn these self defense moves you won’t be able to land a hit like that again!” You joked.

Raph could only whimper. He felt horrible. He was a horrible teacher! And it took some convincing from you to get the ball rolling again. He sniffled here and there because he just couldn’t get it out of his mind. He was hard on himself for sure. Even though it was an accident he wouldn’t forgive himself!!

Leo was prone to doing weird shit randomly. Like striking a pose anywhere, anytime he saw fit. So while sure I could totally come up with a prompt for stretching like I did with Raph…but in my head…more realistically… it would be because Leo was up to his regular shenanigans again!

He had texted you not that long ago that he was planning on portal-ing over! It was a common occurrence, it made for traveling back and forth to the lair fast. If only the side effects wouldn’t hit you like that one ride at the fair, the Spaceship 9000?? The one that spins, and spins, and spins so fast that the piece of metal your buckled into moves up and down??? Right?? I’ve only went on it once so this is like a very bad descriptor but hopefully someone knows what the heck I’m talking about.

Going through a Leo portal was like that. The feeling of getting spun around so much that your stomach didn’t feel like it was in your body anymore. More like it was splattered all over the ground. Or three miles back in the direction from which you came. You wondered absentmindedly if all portals were like that. Or if that was just because of Leo?

Anyhow, it had been a while since he had sent you that message. You were used to him coming instantly after sending the message. Really not even giving you enough time to read the damn text! You sighed and got up from your bed and headed to the living room where he would be portal-ing in. But instead of going to the couch, you wanted to try and guess where the fool would land. Maybe closer to the actual door, as if he had used it to begin with?

It was while you were thinking, that a blue portal opened above head not but mere inches to the left of you. There had been no whirring or whizzing noises. No “Geronimo!!” Or “Heads up!” call outs. It was ninja silent stealth mode at which Leo came in. Eyes closed, and once he was through, only then did he holler, “And he sticks the landi—“

A loud thwack could be heard as one of his hands collided into you as he did a ridiculous windmill motion with his arms to steady himself. And it hurt like hell where he had slapped your arm. “Shiiiiiiiiiiiittttt!” The force had knocked you a little ways away too! As you held your arm where it stung and closed your eyes to not start crying, and then your mouth to not start yelling.

“Y/n???” Leo opened his eyes and shook the hand that had hit your arm. “My bad! You’re usually in your room when I come, and I just— I don’t know!” He rambled, a nervous smile on his face as he watched you close up.

Silence. Breathing. That was all that could be heard. Leo started feeling really guilty. He hadn’t been holding back his strength because he was an idiot and didn’t know you were there. “I’m really sorry..” he murmured. Not coming in close because he didn’t want to anger you further.

“It’s..cool!” You shook your arm, eyes opening and god damn it they were watery. “Oh no it’s not. Let me get you some ice. Fuck. I’m really really sorry.” Leo springs into action at the sight of your unshed tears. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose.” You tried to console him but didn’t deny the need for ice. Relief was felt when the ice pack met your skin. “Still wanna come over?” He asked timidly, wondering if he had ruined today in general too. “Duh, I’m going to be fine Leo! How about we stop for ice cream, on you and then it’s all even mkay?”

Because you knew if you didn’t say this then he would just continue to hold onto the guilt despite all your words and reassurances. “One waffle cone coming up!!” Leo cheered, his dramatics back on as he twirled a sword to make another flashy portal, you could only hope you would survive the journey.

Donnie has a stick. “Technically Y/n, it’s a bo. Bo staff. Not a stick.” Your eyes narrowed in on his weapon of choice. “Looks like a metal stick to me.” You told him plainly. He huffed. He knew that his weapon wasn’t always the one to wow people away. It wasn’t flashy like some people *cough* *cough* leo *cough*. “Okay I lied, it’s not just a bo, it’s a tech bo!” Donnie emphasized, spinning the said weapon around between his fingers before making it land on the ground vertically. Before you could question further he clicked a very inconspicuous spot on the bo, which was basically a finger-print reader that took half a millisecond to expand out and show off a variety of other weapons attached to his bo.

A saw, a drill, and the list could go on but those were the main two you recognized before it contracted back into stick form as you liked to call it. “Nice,” you nodded, giving Donnie his props where they were due, because it was pretty cool. It was like a multi-tool. You said that aloud too.

“Yeah but way better cause I made it.” Donnie amended because he couldn’t allow himself to be compared to such everyday items. He was better. Much better.

You opened your palm out, “can I try?” Insinuating you wanted a go at holding his stick. Well, his tech bo. But he made you spell it out for him. “Try what exactly?” He asked, right eyebrow raising. “Holding the stick” “It’s not a stick.” “Okay okay, can I try to hold the tech stick?” “Maybe, if you say it properly and also realize that you are most definitely going to hurt yourself with my tech bo.”

You made a face at that. “I most certainly am not!” You retorted and made a grab for the tEcH bO. It was out of your reach before you could even get close. And this game of keep away continued until you, asked with a “pretty please can I hold your almighty tech bo!?” Donnie was satisfied, clearly, with a smug look on his face as he allowed you to snatch it away from his hold. Finally.

You turned it around in your hands. Making slow circles. Donnie immediately trying to coach you on a better method, “Your feet aren’t in the right position~!” He chirped happily, as if correcting you was an absolute pleasure. He continued to badger you, despite your genuine efforts to improve. And at one point it all became too much, like he was being haughty. Holding it over your head that you weren’t catching on quickly.

“I get it Donnie! I suck!” You yelled and brought the metal bo down sharply. Right on your toes. You did have socks on. But the thin material did nothing to prevent the instant pain that had you crumpling down, bo falling out of your hand to instead cradle your injured foot.

It was embarrassing. The loud clatter of the bo hitting the ground, the rush of Donnie coming in close, kneeling to try and analyze the damage. You were so angry and so embarrassed that despite the pain, you pushed him away. Sniffling and whimpering, “Leave me alone!” You cried. And yep you were crying. Rocking back and forth now on your butt in an attempt to somehow ease the pain that was flowing from your toes, through your foot, all the way up to your ankle. Had you broken something?!?

Of course you hadn’t pushed him far, nor hard enough to knock him down. But he felt horrible. He felt like he was the reason this had all happened in the first place. Egging you on and messing with your head, truly being a bit of a jerk. “Just let me look please? It may be broken Y/n, it’s..high grade titanium…” he muttered the last bit because he was in no way trying to show that off in this moment. And the look in your eyes when you finally met his concerned stare was heartbreaking. He saw how red and puffy they were from the agitated tears, your cheeks ruddy as well. “Please?” He tried again. Coming in close hands up and out as a show of meaning no harm.

Slowly, your hand came away from your own toes, and Donnie peeled off your sock and assessed the injury. Light touches here and there and profusely apologized when you hissed in pain. “It’s not broken! Just bruised, pretty badly, I’ll go get some ice and then some wraps, just stay right there, don’t move!” And he was off moving swiftly as went in search for the items he required.

He gave you the ice, letting you decide how much pressure to put on the wound, and he stayed silent as he got out a few different wraps. As your tears dried and the sniffling ceased, you noticed how serious Donnie looked. When he came back down to kneel by your foot, he decided to checkup the entire area. “What about this, does this hurt?” He asked pressing lightly on a different part on the top of your foot. “Not really, it’s all getting kind of numb now,” the ice was doing its magic. He nodded, chewing on his lower lip. “I think I should wrap it now,” he said but made no move to start until you gave him the go ahead.

He was very careful. Taking all the time in the world to make sure the wrapping was perfect. When he finished he sighed, and looked up at you sincerely, “I’m sorry for being such an ass… you were doing really well but I just kept..” he sighed again shaking his head as it dropped. Looking back down at your wrapped foot. “Dee.. we like to get in each other’s nerves, you just did a really great job this time around,” you admitted with a slight laugh. But he only smiled weakly, still feeling so guilty. You huffed and shoved at his shoulder lightly, “hey, honestly I think it was your bo getting back at me for calling it a stick so many times!”

He couldn’t help but smile at that one. If only a little. “How about this? You grovel for the rest of the day, andddd order my favorite pizza?” He was quiet, thinking. “How about I just get the pizza?” Finally looking up and looking a bit better, “I don’t knowwww…” and the two of you were going back and forth once more, laughing it off.

Mikey, bless his heart, was having a fabulous time when it came to your yoga sessions. You had gotten into it and dragged the brothers into your new hobby. But the only brother who truly stuck with it was Mikey. Of course this should’ve been a no brainer, what with his acrobatic skills when it came to soaring into the air, from building to building.

So it wasn’t odd that the two of you were together in the gym alone at the lair. Sometimes he’d come over to your flat and the two of you would yoga in the only big room you had (the living room). But most times it was more convenient to do it in a space that was created with exercise in mind. After getting nice and warmed up, talking about each others day and updating one another on any tea it was time to get down to business.

“What’s on the roster today??” Mikey asked already bouncing lightly back and forth. Pumped to do anything when it came to hanging out with you. “Ahhh let’s see!” All the gossip had left your brain clueless to the new yoga you had learned recently so you needed to open up your phone and check your notes really quickly.

Mikey (ever the busybody) came in close, going up on his tippy toes to peer at your screen. Your elbow went out playfully, hitting him in the side plastron. He feigned injury, staggering back clutching where you had touched. “Betrayal!” He fake coughed. “And I thought Leo was the dramatic one!” You teased further.

At this both hands moved to cover his heart. “Take that back!!” He gasped though he could hardly hide his pleased smile. “And if I don’t??” You countered, forgetting about the phone as the screen turned black under inactivity. “Then I’ll make you!” Mikey’s face turned downright villainous (as much as a cutie patootie can), hands up and fingers at the ready to tickle you into submission.

Immediately you were fleeing. You were no stranger to Mikey’s tickling in fact the last time you had been caught in his clutches you were begging for mercy. You almost gave in right then and there at the memory but you couldn’t help but think that maybe this time you could get away.

Fool. What a foolish thought.

You were a yoga hobbyist. Mikey was a fucking ninja! The odds would never be in your favor, but he did let you think you had a chance. Letting you run around in their home gym, getting by with barely a fingertips distance away. You were breathless by the time he caught you which only worsened when he started tickling at your sides and neck.

He had you trapped, he was on top of you, between your legs, hands moving fast and causing you to laugh out of control. Almost as if it had a mind of its own, your leg jumped out and tried to slam into Mikey’s side to free yourself from further torture. But he had actually bent down lower making the trajectory straight for his head. It must’ve been ninja instincts because he caught your leg easily in a tight grasp.

“Mercy!” You called out breathlessly. To which he clicked his tongue, letting go of your leg to go back to tickling. That obviously hadn’t been what he wanted to hear. “Okay okay! I take it back!” You pleaded, batting away his hands quickly. To which he continued to try and get past until he moved way too fast for you, smacking your chin accidentally when he had been aiming to just tickle your neck.

Time force. As the sound resounded, with your punctuating “Ow!” Mikey froze. Hands still, pupils shaking as it replayed in his mind. He had hit you. Accidentally of course. But. He had hit you. You were still in pain, recovering from the shock and rubbing your sore chin. While he was receding into his shell, his hands moving back into himself as he apologized. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I don’t know what, it was just so fast, I’m sorry!!” He was blubbering, by the time you opened your eyes to see how much this had hurt him too.

“Angie! I know! Hey, we were just roughhousing! It got out of hand, it’s okay! I know you didn’t mean it. It was an accident!” And he clung to that word. “It really was an accident. An accident. I’m so sorry. What should I do? Lemme see!” His hands moved suddenly to touch your chin but it was like the sight of his own hands getting close to you made him fearful. He retracted once more, squeezing them into fists and putting them to his chest as he moved to get off of you. To give you space.

“Mikey!” You chastised, getting up and following after him. You grabbed his hands, holding them. “Hey hey, it’s okay! Look I’m not afraid of them and neither should you. It was an accident Mikey, plus I’m already feeling better.” Slowly his fists unfurled and you brought his hands up to your face, positioning them to cup your face. He looked up, with a watery smile. “I’m really sorry,” he said one more time. “I know,” you smiled down at him. “It’s okay!” You made sure to say. And he nodded, relaxing a bit as a shaky breath went through his body before his hands held onto you more securely. Rubbing his fingers back and forth soothingly.

Then he moved back, only to jump and tackle you into a crushing hug. “Yoga?” He asked while digging his head into your neck. “Yoga!” You agreed, and he held onto you like a monkey for a bit before clambering off to return to his mat. “Alright alright, position number one!”

[maxislvt]

will u please do a dark! or not wanda x spider reader who gets injured often and how she cares for the reader

warnings: injury, medical stuff

Being in love as an Avenger was difficult, even if your significant other wasn't one themselves. Missions were long and dangerous, some would even require no contact for weeks at a time. Training was tough and the paperwork could become overwhelming. That wasn't to say that it couldn't be done.

You and Wanda were proof that even the toughest conditions couldn't stop love from blooming. When the two of you first met, your identity was a secret. It was a complete accident that Wanda even found out who you were. She was scared for your safety at first. There wasn't a single fight you'd been in that hadn't been recorded and uploaded to the internet a thousand times. You were the Spider-Punk after all. Who wouldn't be dazzled by your super-sonic guitar and acrobatic abilities? For others, watching you fight was a spectacle.

For Wanda it was just plain scary. To her everything was a bruise, a cut, or a concussion and there was almost no comfort in your accelerated healing. Both of you had learned the difference between accelerated and right the hard way. The suggestion to have Bruce look into your crooked finger had been lighthearted, but the examination revealed just how harmful your methods of fighting were. One of your bones was so messed up you needed surgery. The cost financially was nothing to Wanda, it was the emotional part she couldn't handle.

She's become a bit overprotective of you ever sense. It was cute at first, but you couldn't stand coming home at 3am and seeing her wide awake just because she wanted to patch you and replace any bandages. Wanda had a job that was just as dangerous. You couldn't let her lose sleep because you were stupid and got whacked around a bit. That wasn't fair.

So tonight, you did it yourself.

You took a little detour to a pharmacy and bought some bandaids and tried your very best to tend to your wounds. You had definitely taken some hits that a bandaid couldn't fix, so your solution had been to just put on multiple in one area. The adhesive was stuck uncomfortably to your skin, but something was better than nothing. Just nothing wasn't good enough for Wanda.

"Oh, you're home early." Wanda gave you a gentle smile as she placed her book on the nightstand. "Come on, let me patch up. Dinner's already in the oven so we can eat after you take a bath." She reached for your shirt only for you to push her hand away.

You kissed her cheek. "I'm fine, we can just eat dinner." You tugged Wanda towards the dining room but she didn't budge. A frown appeared in your face. "I promise you I'm okay. I didn't even fight anyone today." That was a lie, but Wanda didn't like reading your mind so she wouldn't know. Well, everyone told you that you were a bad lair, but you never lied around Wanda so who would she know?

Wanda raised her eyebrows. You always cracked under the pressure of her states even if you didn't do anything wrong. Even if that didn't work, you always left behind footprints. "Alright. Just give me a hug, I really missed you." Just like that, you'd fallen for her trap. Technically it wasn't a trap because she did miss and wanted a hug. The offer just had some ulterior motives. She wrapped her arms around you tightly and kissed your forehead. "You mean the world to me, you know that?" She softened you up with honeyed words until her hands reached your back pocket. Wanda's hand pulled out a ball of paper. "Is this…are these bandaid wrappers," She asked incredulously. "Don't tell me you tried to patch yourself up with bandaids that had your little logo on it."

You sighed in defeat as you sat on the bed. Embarrassment burned bright red on your face. "Just…just get the medkit." Wanda left you to stew in your own pool of embarrassment while she got the needed tools to patch you up. You peeled off as many of the little bandages before giving up and waiting for Wanda to take them off. "Don't laugh at me…I was trying to not worry you," You grumbled.

Wanda giggled and kissed your shoulder. "Baby, I worry about you because I care about you. Spider-Punk or not." She sat behind you on the bed and started to remove the decorated bandages. Everytime she pulled one off, she kissed your cheek. Then it was followed up with a little 'I love you' or 'You're adorable'. By the time she'd wiped off the adhesive and replaced it with proper bandages, you were nothing but putty in her hands. "Is my little spider ready to shower and eat dinner?"

"That was a really bad way to convince me not to do that again, but yes."

[justleaveacommentfest]

it's hard to pick a favorite from her, but my wife writes THE MOST amazing comments. it's 100% sentimentality, but the best comment I've gotten from her is the 4-part (yes she hit the character limit that many times) comment on the last chapter of my longest work. I couldn't share the entire thing (though I really really want to) so a highlight:

I am very normal about this fic as you’ve known. The pandemic got me stuck in my soulless retail job where I had to be up at 3am for that 8 hour grind—it was exhausting. I had no energy to do anything ever, and even less motivation when my days off rolled around. But then atone came back to life!! And it was something fun to look forwards to! It was something I would reread on my breaks at work because it made me so happy! And while it was so hard for me to do art between all that exhaustion, atone got me some motivation. It was at least getting me to do SOME drawing and painting even if it was just pumping straight through something in an hour and sending it to you. AND EVEN WHEN THEY WERE REAL STINKERS, THEY AT LEAST MADE YOU HAPPY!!!! That’s what we call community baby. I did hardly any art work 2021. I was so blasted tired but at least I had ATONE to keep me going. I love this type of content and I love YOU. You’re the best and I’m so glad we get to chat now :)

with no exaggeration her enthusiasm made the fic 11x longer than I ever intended it to be. i really wanted to break it off early and just consider it done but her comments got me thinking about the fic more and more and pushed me to really put the time in for it. her comments got us talking and now we get to inspire each other with projects and create TOGETHER! she's the best 🥰🥰

THIS IS ADORABLE OMFG 😭😭😭😭

[seeingivy]

ronnie.. my dear ronnie pookie.. you have outdone yourself once again! knocked it out of the park like you always do :) every time i read your writing i feel like crying. I wrote that little blurb at 3 in the morning- absolutely delirious, high on your satoru as ts songs series, thinking that I can be an award winning writer if i think hard enough. clearly, this is why we leave the writing to the writers bc omg you took everything I was trying to convey and actually painted a picture so vivid and cozy! i had to hold myself back from actually giggling out loud 😭😭 (I just wanted to clarify that there was no pressure in that request, honestly idk what 3am me was thinking- i don't even think i meant for it to be a request D: i had been listening to you're losing me on REPEAT the entire day and i had to share something with you. i wrote it while lowkey dozing off, woke up and hit send LOL)

also stoppp youre making me blush :3 I am beyond honoured to be your sweet princess angel face HAHA +im so happy that the detail was helpful, I usually worry if im expressing enough that writers can take all the creative liberties they wish to! but im happy it was able to motivate you after your finals (you've worked hard!!) i loved it to bits I want to eat it up like candy. the way you incorporated the first years, like yes! my pookies get to make an appearance!

ps. if youre taking anons, i'm 100% on board! i always have both jjk and taylor on the brain so if youre ever having brainrot, I probably am too HAHAHA hugs and kisses <3

MANY THOUGHTS MY SWEET PRINCESS ANGEL FACE!!

first, don't doubt yourself too hard because what you gave me to work with was so detailed and amazing! for me - half of the issue with writing is actually getting the idea out (i've had like thirty call it what you want satoru as taylor swift songs request but im waiting for the right idea to hit me) so you're basically halfway there!

also i've never had anyone blurb or HC in my inbox (unless its for method acting, which I usually just incorporate into a chapter) so I....ran with the wind. AND HAD A TON OF FUN DOING IT SO DON'T FEEL BAD.

my brain rot is intense. this is all I think about always actually I was thinking about hockey player gojo earlier today and then had to lie down face down on my bed for a few minutes. anyways.

luv u angel face!!

[survivingthelonelylife-blog]

Woe is mine and I am woe - Part 5

Wednesday x Enid

AO3 link to full work

End of the semester

My phone vibrates again, stupid thing, never stops going off. 

I should probably thank Xavier, but I know he had other motives for the gift. 

Also, it has given Enid a continuous and direct line of communication in which she never ceases to use. Daily texts, 3am TikTok’s, weekly facetimes, it’s agonizing. 

We haven’t spoken on the night of the movie, but she never runs out of other topics to drone about. Besides a few stolen moments of glances and brushes of our hands she hasn’t said a word. I have begun to think I imagined the whole event.

The only thing keeping me aware that I haven’t gone insane is that I can remember the feel and taste of her lips pressed on mine, that and the hope that going insane would be more enjoyable than this existence of dull uncertainty.

More buzzing, this time not from Enid but that pesky unknown contact, too cowardly to admit themselves. It is interesting to have a stalker, a constant unseen eye following my every move. They keep me apprised to my own interactions by sending more photos of me to myself every few days. 

At first it was intriguing but now I am beyond bored of this charade. Any attempt to get information from them has been met with silence. I have yet to tell anyone but thing, and he only discovered by snooping, I should have broken some fingers after that stunt, but he begged and having him in my debt works in my favor.

Enid has invited me to visit her in San Francisco for two weeks and I couldn’t resist the temptation and the chance to see what it is like to literally be raised by wolves. 

Mother and Father’s excitement when I told them was disgusting enough to nearly change my mind. But instead, here I am on my way to the train station, I refuse to be surrounded by idiots trapped for two hours on a plane, a decent torture, when I can take a three-day train with my own cabin, giving plenty of time to work on my next instalment of my book. Knowing Enid, I will be left no time to write while I am there.

Enid is waiting for me with her parents when I step onto the platform. 

After some polite introductions we are off to their house. Enid told me it’s out of the city with a huge yard and near a forest, typical for a family of werewolves. 

She warns me that her 5 older brothers are all going to be home and that they are even more obnoxious than they act at school. As I suspect, the house is fairly overcrowded and messy. Not an overwhelming amount of color, that is until Enid opens her bedroom door.

As the only girl she has her own room. Small, almost like it used to be a walk-in closet turned bedroom, but the walls. 

I hold back a gag, bright pink and green smear hit you right in the face. 

There is color everywhere. Not a single surface is any shade of black. She motions me over to the pulled-out cot and apologizes saying she will sleep on it, and I can have her bed. Not a chance. 

After setting up my stuff Enid pulls out a black blanket still in its bag.

“I got this for you, you know, so you had something dark to use.”

I smirk and accept the blanket, taking it from her, my hands right on top of hers, I look up and she is already looking at me a small smile hidden on her face.

“I’m really glad you’re here Wednesday.”

“Yes, well, I couldn’t take your incessant begging any longer.”

Enid giggles and that old wave of nausea comes rushing back, hitting me almost as hard as the paint colors. A sharp knock at the door and Enid quickly drops her hands and steps away from me.

“Girls, dinner is ready, come eat.”

By the time we get down to the dinning room the boys have already dug in and are throwing food at each other.

“Sorry, meals are kind of a madhouse around here.”

“It’s fine, and I assure you having meals with my aunts at the asylum have prepared me for almost anything.”

“Wednesday, Enid, come sit over here. It’s so hard to hear anything of the boys and their ruckus.”

“So, Wednesday, tell us about yourself.”

“Someone once said I have an obsession with all things dark and creepy. That sums me up better than I dare try.” I sneak a small glance at Enid as she tries to stifle a laugh.

“Yes, Enid has told us about the events of this last semester-“ 

At this I look up and catch Enid’s eye as she gives me a small head shake and looks back at the table- “and I have to admit I am not overly thrilled with the danger you have put our daughter in, but we have decided to look past that all seeing as she is mostly alright and that it finally got her wolf out. We’re so glad that Enid is finally able to participate in our family traditions.” 

Enid’s mother grabs her chin and smiles at her with a weary look.

“Yep, I finally get to fit in with my own family…great.”

Enid avoids making eye contact with everyone and uncomfortably leans away from her mother’s grasp. Wolfing out is all she wanted to do, to be a part of her family pack, why does she look so miserable at her mother’s feeble attempt at joy.

[77ngiez-archive]

How do you think the rest of the class would react to Akane and utsuros reveal?

very very very good question !!!

i feel like kizuna would use it as vindication for her distrustful mentality, but secretly she'd be pretty hurt. yuki and akane seem to be the two people she trusted most (if her ftes are done, that is) and she'd probably beat herself up for being so wrong about them.

ayame kinda feels like she's just... be in denial. she liked yuki a lot imo, and we all know how she felt about akane. i don't think she'd want to believe it, she'd claim that it was all a misunderstanding and/or that she could fix them.

kiyoka would probably start with anger. i feel like she feels her emotions pretty freely, so she'd likely punch them in the face.. or punch akane in the face and struggle to land a hit on utsuro, lol. i think once she learns their reasons and justifications, she'd cool down a bit? she strikes me as a forgiving person at heart (there is so much love stored in that girl) and she probably hates being angry.

mitch would be terrified of them. he was an ass to yuki and harassed akane and now you're telling him they're actually evil and can kick his ass??? bro is running away at high speeds

kanata would be furious. like loz said i think she hates unnecessary endangerment, and learning that two people she trusted were behind the killing game would fill her with rage. despite that i think she'd try so so hard to understand their motives, because above all they are just deeply confusing to her. (also there might be something to be said for her blaming herself for it but that's a half-baked thought)

kinji would be really upset. ive always kinda thought that him and akane especially would get along really well, and so the betrayal hurts him. combine that with the orphanage kids... he'd be praying for them to be sent directly to hell lmao

kakeru i think would just be sad. i think the reveal would fuck him up badly, and hed probably lose some of his confidence in himself. he just doesnt get it. hes so so deeply sad.

satsuki i think wouldnt take it seriously at first. shed joke abt it bcs thats how she copes and the reality would only set in at like 3am or whatever. and then shed give them the cold shoulder until she was able to repress her feelings again. endless cycle

haru would be so so so hurt and angry. he really trusted yuki and considered him a friend, and to be met with this??? its painful. its agonizing. he probably starts putting up walls a bit

[philsmeatylegss]

aaa sorry hopefully you're okay with people responding to your rambles (your most recent one that talks about suicide). just wanted to say i'm very very proud of you for healing and i can relate to your post.

hopefully you are okay with me sharing this story but im a young phannie, im 15, and i found them when i was 11 which was a few months before quarantine hit. extremely long story short, for me 11-13 years old were the scariest years of my life and i don't think anything will ever come close to that again (thank god). that's when i used to rely heavily on dan and phil videos (mostly phil). like i just have so many memories of like i don't know, being on a road trip with my family and being completely out of my mind but i would turn on an amazingphil video or a song that amazingphil mentioned and desperately try to immerse myself into that rather than my thoughts. now that i'm 15 (which is like. unbelievable honestly) i see their content on my feed but i rarely ever engage anymore, and when i do it feels like making my inner child happy. it's weird to think that something i held very close to me and that kept me above water for so long belongs in the past now along with really deep trauma. even if i ever get back into binging phil's videos (i probably will because man he is so nostalgic to watch and i just love him) i'm sure i will never engage with them the way i used to, because i'm simply not the same person. it's sad and also really euphoric and healing at the same time to watch yourself let go. anyways that's my 3am rant lol (i have yet to lose younger me's sleep schedule) thank you for listening and please have a wonderful day/night ❤️

I literally relate so hard to this and it’s really comforting to hear similar stories to mine. I fucking hate when people dismiss mental illness if the person is <14. Ages 12-14 were truly the most terrifying years of my life where I truly believed I would not be able to keep living. I’m very thankful I was surrounded by people who took it seriously so I was able to get help early on. But it’s so important to recognize the little things that also got us through. I know there’s a lot of people who roll their eyes when you say this musician or content creator or actor or whatever saved my life and that’s because people take it too literal. I do credit dan and phil and twenty one pilots with saving my life. Obviously, it wasn’t just that. It was years of therapy and medication and healing, but their content, what they brought into my life, was something I needed to hold on to. It gave me motivation. It was a distraction from pain that wasn’t harmful to myself. I connected with people who I truly felt understood me. And that’s something I needed during that period of my life. Now that I’m older and developed a personality and I’m so far from where I was, I don’t need to be obsessive because I don’t need a constant healthy distraction to get me through life. I can just be a regular fan. And still enjoy that little rush of joy I get when they upload. It’s such a unique experience that, though I am so sad people can relate to, is so important and interesting to discuss. I often joke about being suicidal and really mentally ill at a really young age and I know a lot of others do too. And that’s okay, but it truly is important to congratulate yourself for still sticking around. Even if you are still depressed or unhealthy. And it’s okay to have motivations like being a fan to keep you happy and to keep you going. It’s also okay if you’re getting older and you want to let go a little bit. You don’t have to completely abandon it. I know I’m so fucking far from abandoning dnp and 21p. But it’s okay to not be as obsessive as you were. It’s a sign you’ve grown up. You’ve healed. I appreciate so much what dnp and 21p did for me and I still remain a loyal fan, but it’s okay for me to let go because I can live without needing them. Being suicidal at such a young age is a very specific, tragic experience that you can only understand if you went through it. That’s why it’s hard to discuss topics like this without sounding batshit crazy. But I’m glad some of us are here talking about it.

[an-sceal]

I don't know if it's a cyclical, clinical depression thing or just a Me thing. There's a point where I determine that I'm going to Get It Together(tm) and that's when I finally see how much I've let It spiral out since I headed down Depression Highway.

Sometimes these moments are a rest stop. I might even know I'm not staying-- that I'm just there to stretch my legs and take a breather, but there's still more road ahead. They're necessary, but a bit overwhelming. Seeing the mess you're making and realizing you're going to have to clean it up sooner or later is hard when you can't even imagine when the next rest stop will be, much less the end of this trip.

Sometimes though, sometimes you're pulling back into your driveway. And you've been away, busy, making sure you got to come home again, but you can see all the work that needs doing. The lawn needs mowing, there's trash in the bins, the windows are filthy and hardly letting in any light.

So you see that. You do. And it's a lot, but you just got home. You have time to take care of things.

But first you have to rearrange your furniture.

Y'all, my bedroom has been in a state of "almost clean except for the parts that aren't" for over a year. I mentioned that my office and art studio are currently more of a computer desk/pile of art supplies. You'd think this peek into my house would motivate me to finally move the t-shirt stacks in my closet, or put away the yule projects I never made, or SOMETHING that would start fixing the mess.

But instead I'm going to rearrange my office furniture, and move the chair in my bedroom, and once things LOOK different, I will feel different.

This was easier way back when I lived alone in my cottage, because I could drag my sofa around at 3am without bugging anybody else. Also, I could rearrange the living room without bugging anybody else, period. I'm not yearning for the solo living experience again or anything, but there was something to be said for being the sole decorating manager.

Moving furniture feels like it's uprooting all the shadows and forcing light and air back into all the corners I had to ignore for my own self-preservation while I was Getting Through. I'm excited about it! I'm imagining how the space will feel, how I'll feel and be different in the room once it changes. And the best part is that once you move furniture, you're not cleaning up after survival mode anymore. You're organizing and tossing and moving your things so you can see the stuff that makes you happiest again. Sometimes that's changed since you looked at it last. Sometimes your eyes hit the same landmarks every day and you don't even see them for what they are anymore until you pick them up and put them somewhere else.

Sometimes you just need to move the furniture.

[unsettlingcreature]

Helloooo! For the fanfiction ask game: 1, 15, 17, 27, 45, 55, 79. Sorry if there's too many :)))

no apologies needed, I love answering questions :3

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I daydream a whole ton simply because a lot of fics start out as either "what if I wrote xyz" (and then being like, well why don't I?) or me just bouncing an idea around in my brain (and realising I like it too much to NOT write it). Sometimes they get stuck in the stage between daydreaming and actually writing it because I get caught up in planning how I want things to go, which has caused some ideas to fizzle out over time as I realise I'm not as excited about the idea in practice.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Probably late at night/super early in the morning. Especially if my sleep schedule is wobbly, I'll often wake up at 3am and suddenly feel the need to start writing. It's not that I hate writing during the daytime, it just feels weird to me.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Sort of!! I'm trying to figure out what works for me but so far my writing routine is just getting myself something to drink and setting out some snacks, so I don't lose focus when I get thirsty or a little peckish. My current snacks of choice are hard pretzels, a cereal bar and some humbugs.

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

This has actually changed over time. I used to feel strongest writing scenery and I still do but I actually feel really confident writing combat scenes now. I used to hate them because I had no idea how to start but reading books and watching fights at Empire helped me get a good point of reference.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

I'm not really sure. My first instinct was to say Time Travel/Fix-it but I haven't written that for years. I guess the Found Family trope mainly because I end up putting that into most longfics I write 😭For genre, definitely fantasy of some flavour.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

My brain often latches onto phrases I like and then I have to struggle to not use them too often. At the moment, I've been trying to not overuse "they swallowed the rising bile in their throat".

For common settings, I think I definitely prefer fantasy settings overall. The current big projects I'm working on with fics are all fantasy (skyrim fic, two d&d fics with perseus, the dragon age fic I'm planning) but I think that's just because it is my favourite genre/setting.

I think as themes go, I also tend to put a focus on characters starting out in a bad place and almost hitting rock-bottom, only to grow and flourish. I also accidentally made both Arielle and Perseus struggle to hold their faith - I'm not totally sure whether Arielle will find it again like Persy did though!!

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Focus on writing what makes you happy because if you don't, you'll often lack the motivation to keep working on it - so it'll either never get finished or never be finished to a standard that you're satisfied with. But at the same time know that you're going to hit certain points in longer projects where it doesn't burn so brightly as always (usually when you're writing the less exciting parts or areas that you are weaker in).

There's also no shame in putting ideas/projects on the back burner or giving up on them. If you decide partway through that you don't want to finish it, you'll still have learnt and improved from what you have completed (even if you only just started. Planning and writing the beginning is harder than a lot of people give credit for!!)

[secretewagmaterial]

Glow-Up & Weight Journal:

TW: Please do not read this if you're struggling with an ED or any sort of mental health issue. This is not an ED account, this is my personal weight and glow up journal.

Day # 4

Weight - 213.4 lbs.

"It's time to write a new story."

Hello tumblr!

So I went to the store and accidently bought 2 bottles of vitamin D lols.. It happens I guess? I don't mind it for now but I'll buy some other vitamins and supplements.

I drank so much water today (unintentionally). Like I have this bottle that holds 2000ML and I drank the whole thing before 8PM which is insane to me. I don't think I've ever drank this much water? I had a sandwich and then some food my mom made today but that's all I've had so far. I'm not entirely hungry today but that might've been because my period is coming in a few days. Sometimes I get worried about sharing stuff on this but it's literally my blog so ,,,, if you hate it please leave.

I have,, pissed so much today. After I got off work (which btw was horrid) I cleaned up a bit and did some yoga. I've been thinking of getting a Vogue Magazine subscription but also I need to save so I can't really waste money like that. Really hoping this melatonin hits soon because gosh I cannot stand one more night with falling asleep at 1-3AM. I literally woke up late today and had like 5 mins to get my computer set up for work. Forever thankful that I don't work on Monday because I plan to do my hair over the weekend.

C has been on my ass lately about my coping skills and low key he did not need to go that hard on me but it's ok because this is his job. K and S (the girls I'm going on my trip with) have been super supportive though! They're my main motivation on this whole glow up journey because I don't want to disappoint them with my looks. My whole life I've never been attractive so this is a new step for me.

My last pay from my old job hit today and I barely have $100 left from it,, my gosh (originally $680). My new job pay hits this Tuesday I think? I don't know actually I should check that with my agent.

Anyway I think that's it for now, aside from being obsessed with finding my style of course. (I've been looking at Lemon8 and Pinterest like a freak omg).

Bbbbyyyyeeeeee~

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

✩✩✩ NEW RELEASE ✩✩✩

The Panty Thief

By Naomi Springthorp

USA Today Best-Selling Author

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/105736272/

Hosted by DS Book Promotions

Amazon

US https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BXKVKT7Z/

UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0BXKVKT7Z/

CA https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B0BXKVKT7Z/

AU https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B0BXKVKT7Z/

Apple | Kobo | Nook

Blurb:

From USA Today Bestselling Author Naomi Springthorp comes a romantic comedy with heat, a cat, and a hottie named Truck.

I’ve always had my best friend. She’s the sister I chose and with me for life. She’s also the only roommate I’ve ever had. Everything was perfect—until she popped out a baby. I have to move out. I can’t sleep in my own bed and I’m waking up everyone in the house when I get home from the club. Nobody wants to hear a crying baby at 3am. Especially when I just left my conquest for the night begging for more. Crashing at my ex’s while I apartment hunt is only a temporary solution. Now, my bestie is forcing me to have a house warming party—and if I know her at all, she has an ulterior motive.

There’s a new hot chick in my building. She’s put together and her attitude is off the charts. I didn’t expect her to be a cat lady. I’m not into her. Women are trouble. Her scent lingers in the hallway and drives me crazy. Hitting it in my own building? Not going to happen. It’s hard enough to hide being the owner from the tenants. That’s extra drama I don’t want or need.

The warm sunbeam every afternoon. My favorite treats. They fed me well at the rescue house and the other cats learned I was in charge early on. The woman with the screaming infant who picked me up was not ideal. However, my new maid and I will get along just fine. She just doesn’t know it yet.

About Naomi Springthorp

USA Today Bestselling Author Naomi Springthorp is a born and raised Southern California girl. She's a baseball freak who supports her team all season long and blatantly admires the athletes in those pants. Music has always been part of her life and she believes everything has a soundtrack. She loves her two feline fur babies, though they're not quite sure what to do with her.

She writes Baseball Romance, Romantic Comedies, 90s Throwback, and Contemporary Romance--all with heat and sometimes a little sweet.

#newrelease #availablenow #thepantythief #romcom #bookish #booklove #naomispringthorp #dsbookpromotions

@Naomi Springthorp @DS Book Promotions

[prettylittlelyres]

2022: My Year in Writing

Happy New Year, friends! I’ve been quiet again, but here’s my yearly round-up. Hopefully I’ll be more active in 2023! Without further ado:

What did I manage?

I wrote just over 168,500 words in 2022. It’s felt like a slow year for my writing, but that’s equivalent to 3 novels… so I’m pleased! I started the year wanting to write 500 words per day, and I managed an average of 462. In the spirit of being kind to myself, and celebrating achievements, I’ll consider that a target hit.

I wanted to read 50 books last year, but ended up reading 45. At first, comparing my 2022 reading record with its 2021 counterpart, I was disappointed, but then I thought about what I’d read in 2022, and realised I could remember more about the stories. Looking at my 2021 list, most of the books on there now come as a surprise. If I reading them at all, I can’t remember what they were about. More of 2022’s list is familiar, which may just be the recency effect, but I think reading more slowly has let me read more deeply. It’s hard to find time to read these days, but I do love it, so I’ve found ten or twenty minutes here and there to enjoy a tasty bite of story.

I’ve taken part in #PitMad several times, and was looking forward to future events, but it was discontinued after December 2021. I had to look for other pitching events. On 23rd June, I tweeted my pitch for “Vogeltje” at #PitchDis (a pitching event for stories by Disabled authors), and got a “like” from an agent. During Twitter pitch events, literary agents use the “like” button to express interest in pitches, as invitations to send them queries. I didn’t get a response to the query I sent, but in the meantime I’ve put querying on hold while I redraft, so that’s probably a good thing. I love the atmosphere of Twitter pitch events, and I’m looking forward to being able to take part in more!

What did I start?

I wanted to write more short-form work in 2022, so I started responding to other people’s writing prompts, and even making a few of my own. That led to five completed short stories (and even more that I planned or started but which never made it past bullet points in my notebook), and seven whole poems! I hardly ever wrote poetry before 2022, and seven isn’t a huge number, but it’s more poems than I wrote in 2023, and writing four in June alone pleased me so much.

Some of the short stories that I wrote last year have made it onto this blog, but I want to redraft others, and have a go at some of the ideas I sketched out in my notebook. I started it in May, and it’s just-over half-full of drafts and spider-diagrams planning responses to various prompts I’ve created and collected over the year. I can’t decide if I’ll start a new notebook for 2023, or if I’ll carry on working in my 2022 notebook until it’s full.

In amongst the short stories and poems that I scribbled into that notebook are bits of plans for other projects: three longer pieces that I’ve been working on this year which are probably going to end up as novels, but which are still far from finished. I’m hoping to finish drafting one of them in January, but I’m not ready to talk about it on here just yet. It’s still very early days!

What did I finish?

I finished redrafting “Vogeltje” on 1st February, at about 3am. I was still doing shift work then, so it wasn’t unusual for me to be awake so late, but now – feeling sluggish and queasy because I stayed up until 1:30am for New Year’s Eve – I wonder how I did it. These days, I can just about manage 2am, but I’m not up to writing anything coherent by then! So, not only did I finish a draft this year, I also finished my youthful years, when I could stay up late and not SufferTM.

There were drafts I didn’t finish. At the time, I felt bad about them – wondering why I couldn’t just motivate myself to complete a story like I apparently used to be able to – but now I can see that I did the right thing in stopping. I’ve learned to recognise when I need to stop, instead of slogging on to finish something I’m enjoying! I understand myself and what I want to write a lot better in January 2023 than I did in January 2022, and that’s because of all the stories I’ve abandoned.

Although it’s unrelated to writing, I’m pleased to say I’ve also completed the challenge I tentatively set myself at the beginning of the year: 300 days of clarinet practice! I’m so proud of how far I’ve come and I’m glad I recorded it all, so I can hear (and see) the improvements I’ve made. Now I feel like a proper musician again, and feel better in general. I think I’m standing up straighter, breathing more deeply, and even typing more quickly. My sight-reading has also improved a lot, and I’m finally, at 24, starting to figure out embouchure (only took me 14 years, but a win is a win).

I also had my graduation ceremony at last. I finished my degree in 2021, but graduation was postponed until 2022 because of COVID-19. It was wonderful crossing the stage with my best friends, and seeing my favourite lecturers again. (And I look absolutely delightful in my graduation photos!)

What did I do?

I put far too much pressure on myself in 2022.

I told myself I needed to write a huge amount, and finish a massive pile of projects, in a year when I was also trying to brush up another hobby, and when I changed from shift work to a 9-5 pattern and suddenly had a much more regimented schedule. Too much.

I wrote over 339,000 in 2021, probably more than I’ve written in any other year of my life, and I wanted to write just as much in 2022. I didn’t think about the fact that I was still at university for the first five months of 2021, and frequently had to write long essays and extensive notes alongside my own writing, which went very well. I work well under pressure, but only if someone else is putting it on! My brain doesn’t pay attention to deadlines I set myself because I can move them; as long as I’m in charge of what I write and when, I don’t write much at all.

2020 and 2019 were also really good years for my writing – I wrote 210,000 words in 2020, and a similar amount in 2019, although I don’t know exactly – and I expected myself to be just as prolific in 2022, but that wasn’t sensible. I was extremely lucky, three years running, to have my brain click and let me write so much, and it’s not a reflection on me that 2022 wasn’t like that. It was just an unlucky year, and I’m starting to realise that now. 2023 might be a lucky year, or it might not. It doesn’t matter how much I write, as long as I enjoy it.

How do I feel?

Honestly, I feel a little silly. I tried to overdo things and while I’m feeling healthier now than I’ve ever felt in my life, I’ve only been doing this well since October. Before that, I was floundering, and I need to remind myself of that any time I’m tempted to look at 2022 as a bit of a rubbish year. Yes, it was… but I had a bit of a rubbish time!

I didn’t finish “2021: My Year in Writing”, but I still have the bit I drafted. I gave up trying to get it all down because there was so much to talk about, and that gave me unrealistic expectations for 2022. “This year, I will write just as much as last year,” I thought to myself, not considering the context in which I wrote so much. I should have re-read the partial draft a few times this year, because, looking back at it now, there’s a few things that really jump out at me, particularly what I wrote in April:

“I rather set myself up for disappointment in April, hoping I would achieve the same amount of work as I had done the month before. There was a weekly translation for French and German, a weekly psycholinguistics reading to note down, and seminars to prepare for “German-Jewish Writing Across the Twentieth Century”. I had nearly all my weekly lectures on a single day, with barely a moment to grab a fresh cup of tea in-between them, and started to struggle with my energy levels. Sometimes, I couldn’t make it to class because I was so tired that I couldn’t sit up for an hour at a time. The rest of the week was spent trying to catch up on work I’d missed without falling behind on prep for the next week. Nevertheless, I managed to add a few scenes to “Violins and Violets”. I ended up with a 19,900-word total for the month. Couldn’t quite make those last 100 words happen… Couldn’t help being a bit disappointed in my achievements, which I knew was an unhealthy attitude, so I tried to be kinder to myself the next month.”

In hindsight, I was working so hard that I was making myself unwell. In hindsight, I knew a long time ago that I needed to be kinder to myself, and to stop setting myself up for disappointment by aiming for goals I just couldn’t achieve.

Somehow, I thought it would be a good idea to spend most of 2022 forgetting all that.

I can’t help but notice similarities between how I apparently felt in April 2021 and how I felt for most of 2022. I feel a lot better now, but I’ve been so tired this year that I’ve… managed to forget how tired I’ve been.

I’m not disappointed in myself. I just want to laugh. And then move on.

What am I looking forward to in 2023?

I’ve decided to set myself soft goals this year:

- write things I enjoy;

- put less pressure on myself;

- pause or quit projects I don’t like.

What happens happens. What I achieve, I achieve. I would quite like to be a professional writer one day, but I have to remember that I am not one at the moment. I don’t need to meet deadlines, I don’t need to write a certain number of words per day, and I don’t need to finish a certain number of books every year.

I just need to like writing.

In 2023, I want to engage more with writeblr and my local writing community (I’m part of my local NaNoWriMo group on Facebook) and participate more in the Discord server I’m in. It’s lovely having friends in other writers, and feeling like part of something. I took a writing course at the beginning of 2022, and I hope I’ll find another one (or a repeat!) this year. I loved the camaraderie of last year’s lessons, and how friendly and encouraging everyone was.

I want to read more slowly, more carefully, and more thoughtfully this year. I think I’ve benefited from reading a little less in 2022. Stephen King said, “If you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write,” and he was correct. I’ve let myself spend more time on each book I’ve read this year, and I’ve enjoyed everything more as a result. Hopefully in 2023, I’ll read a few more craft books, and improve my writing like I’ve improved my clarinet.

I hope all of you have a lovely new year, and I’m looking forward to reaching out a little (lot) more!

[hederasgarden]

Hi Ivy,

Firstly I wanted to say just how much I love all you’re writing! I’m slowly reading all your works but man, you’re writing is just perfection. So Thank you!

My favourite is Stand By Me, there’s just something about it that’s just so cute and then there’s protective Rhett, and then you blessed us with Fake Dating. Like I can’t deal.

I saw the other day that you answered a behind the scenes question and there’s something I was wondering. If you can’t answer it because spoiler or you just don’t want to no stress!

I was wondering how it got to be Rhett that went to the store. I mean I know obviously that’s the plot, but like did Cecilia ask him, or did she ask Royal or Perry and they couldn’t so Rhett went, or was he out and closer to the store, or did he volunteer. That type of thing. I don’t know why it’s a thought I’ve had about it, maybe cos it tells about more about his previous side or the relationship, or his relationship with his Mom. It’s just been a thought at the back of my head in all my countless rereads (and there’s been many).

Hope that makes sense, and I hope you’re having a great start to your week.

I also apologise if I’ve already sent this, I thought I did an ask the other day at like 3am when I couldn’t get back to sleep but now I’m thinking I just was thinking about doing it 😅🙃

Thank you again for sharing your writing with us.

This ask is incredibly sweet, tysm!

Stand By Me is my self indulgent story but I do have some twists and turns planned. 😅

To answer your question (I love these by the way!), Rhett volunteered.

Royal was not home at the time, otherwise he would have been Cecilia’s first choice. People in Wabang respect him and she knew he’d put the fear of god in the stalker. She asked Perry next, but he gave her a hard time about going because he was drinking beer at the kitchen table after a bad fight with Rebecca. (My personal hc is that his relationship with Rebecca wasn’t great before she disappeared. I imagine she had a habit of taking Amy to her mother’s when she wanted to get away from him/let him cool off. It fits with his bad temper and Rhett’s accusations. Also I don’t like Perry so fuck him you know?).

Rhett got home in the middle of their argument and that’s when Cecilia asked him to go. He agreed but might have been a little extra motivated when he heard the reader’s name since he remembered her from high school as being sweet but timid. He wasn’t interested in her like that back then but he’d seen her around town here and there. The idea of someone harassing her didn’t sit right with him. He also figured that going into town gave him an excuse to hit up the Handsome Gambler after.

Honestly though, he would have gone for anyone if his mom asked. 💙

[lilosaur]

◡̈⋆ʜᴇʟʟᴏ(*´∇`)ﾉ is it okay for me to request scenarios for mitsuya, inui, angry and kazutora helping their s/o who struggles with online classes? many thanks if you decide to do this one 💖💖

Yess! This was something I could relate too so much, I prefer in person myself it was such a struggle for me doing online. Thanks for requesting! 🤎

༑ ࿐ྂ。Helping You With Online Classes ♡.°⑅

⟶ ticket no. 11 ɞ

w/ Mitsuya Takashi | Inui Seishu | Kawata Souya | Hanemiya Kazutora

ʚ Mitsuya Takashi ɞ

It was late into the night around 2:30-ish am your eyes were heavy and body drained and worn out while the bright screen reflected in your eyes. Your phone buzzed and you debated picking it up, your arms were so tired. Your phone rang again, maybe this was the third time? You were already losing your train of thought. You reached over to grab your phone, it was your boyfriend? What was he still doing up at this hour?

“Mitsuya? Why are you still up?” You questioned waiting tiredly for a response.

“You never answered my text love, I wanted to make sure your alright. You sound tired though, why are you still up?” He responded, you were confused you didn’t hear a sound of tiredness in his voice.

“Oh um I’m still working on some homework that’s due tomorrow morning.” Your voice cracked and your tiredness could be heard from over the phone “it’s kind of confusing though”

“Hmm do you want me to come over and help you with it?”

You didn’t want him to stay up any longer either, he had a busy life with taking care of his sisters and looking after his friends, you can probably figure this out all on your own anyways. “No no, it’s fine I’ll just be up a little longer.” You lied, you knew this would take a few more hours at least but you didn’t want Mitsuya to worry too much. You both said goodnight as you hung up the phone. You tried your best to look at notes, documents, and even looking up stuff online but everything was worded differently. Your teacher was honestly garbage she made everything sound so confusing when explaining.

It was almost 3am now, you only completed 3/9 of the questions on your assigned worksheet you didn’t even know if your answers were right. A faint knock could be heard from your window which scared the living crap out of you. You peaked through your curtains to see Mitsuya standing outside with coffee and a smile.

Mitsuya told you that he can help you with your school work, he may not have ideal grades but maybe he’d be able to help a little bit. If not then maybe he could email your teachers for you if you get anxious about it.

You and Mitsuya were able to get all questions done, he was so proud of you, for pushing through each day one step at a time. You two ended up passing out on your bed, what a nice night…kinda.

༚༅༚˳❃˳༚༅༚

ʚ Inui Seishu ɞ

You and Inui were spending time at a coffee shop talking about how your days were going and new stuff that happened. You had your laptop with you since you two happened to see each other at the cafe but you planned to just do some school work. You told Inui you were gonna do some work but you can still talk, he said he’ll try to be quiet as he pulled out a book to read. You were having a hard time understanding the concept and filling out open note stuff is so hard for no reason. okay but like open note stuff is so annoying like multiple choice >>>>

You about half way into a paragraph answering the third question but your mind hit a blank, you felt so confused. You looked back at other documents, worksheets, and notes you took but it seemed like this was something your teacher explained in class. Let’s just say your teacher wasn’t exactly the best at teaching.

Inui looked over to you and your facial expression said it all, the confusion all over your face and your leg tapping on the floor up and down.

“Do you need any help y/n?”

You didn’t really want to trouble Inui with your schoolwork even though you were heavily struggling, you took a moment to think about it but before you could even respond to him he was already walking over to your side of the table hovering over your shoulders and his eyes directed at your laptops screen. You looked up at Inui, you could tell he was really thinking about the question.

“I’m not really the best with this y/n but maybe we can look it up or ask someone smarter than me.” Inui said while looking back down at you, concerned and confused look on his face he couldn’t seem to decipher this problem either as it’s wording was very strange.

Inui helped you contact someone who was in your class and you were successfully able to complete both sheets of work. Inui gave you a nice hug afterwards to let you know how proud of you he is, he knows it’s hard for you with online classes but you still push through everyday!

༚༅༚˳❃˳༚༅༚

ʚ Kawata Souya ɞ

You had to cancel your plans with Souya because your parent/s wanted you to get your school work done before tomorrow morning. You’ve been struggling to even log onto your laptop and show up to your classes. Online school is still just as draining as in person if not more.

You felt so bad for kinda ditching Souya today so you made sure to send him a more detailed message about why you really cancelled and your so sorry and you’ll make it up to him. You just hoped he wasn’t too effected from this. Souya tried calling you multiple times but your phone was set on ‘do not disturb’ mode, you finally took a break from some of your work which your not even half way done when you FaceTimed him.

“Hello? Souya?”

“Hi y/n..” You heard Souya's low voice, he was definitely a bit sad over not being able to hang out.

“Are you done with your homework yet, maybe we could still hang out for a bit.” He asked politely.

“I’m sorry, I’m still working on it. It’s really confusing. But maybe we can hangout tomorrow!” You tried to stay positive knowing that this work was going to take a long while. You honestly felt so bad letting Souya down but your work had to be done.

“Hmm, we’ll maybe I can help you with it. I’m pretty good with anything y/n.”

You never really realized it but Souya really did have good grades. He helped guide you through what problems you were struggling with and he was even able to help you understand all the concepts better. It didn’t even take up too much of your time, you guys got it done in about 1 hour and your pretty positive most of the answer are right…sort of.

You two both talked for a bit before falling asleep while still on FaceTime together, after all it was still a school night. Souya was definitely very proud of you and happy to help, you’ve been pushing through this whole time all alone so he’s thankful he could help make it a bit easier for you! :)

༚༅༚˳❃˳༚༅༚

ʚ Hanemiya Kazutora ɞ

You and Kazu were getting a late night snack, you had taken a break from your time consuming study guides and worksheets, barely making it half way through part one of the study guide. It was a struggle but you’d hope that maybe after a snack with your lovely boyfriend you’d feel a little more motivated.

You guys decided to get brownies from a little corner shop and to share a soda. You found a bench to sit at and eat, you two chatted and somehow got to the topic of school. Kazu said he pretty much didn’t take school seriously at all and his grades didn’t really matter because he wasn’t going anywhere good in the future. You told Kazu all about your online school, you didn’t like it one bit. Kazutora understood where your coming from since he despised school just as much as you did.

You told Kazu you were kind of in a hurry because of your school work, Kazu took your little hints and insisted you let him help you out. He wouldn’t let you say no either, he knows you don’t like online school and you have troubles with completing work. Kazutora wasn’t the smartest but he wasn’t the dumbest either so he’d help you as much as he could.

You let Kazu help you and fortunately you were able to finish up most of your study guide and one of your worksheets. Kazutora offered for him to have a ‘talk’ with your teacher but you almost yelled at him to just leave it be..you’ll manage somehow.

You and Kazutora ended off the night with a walk around town talking about all your troubles in the world. Kazu told you how proud he was, you were able to get most of your work done even if it wasn’t right or you still missed some questions it was a start. One step at a time and you’ll be there soon, wherever your trying to end up in life if you just push on a little longer you’ll be there in no time.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this one. If you struggle with school in general just know your not alone, a lot of people have mental problems formed from school but I promise with a little bit of effort and if you push through just a bit longer you’ll make it to where you want to be. I believe in you all! :)