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girlkisser13 · 3 months ago

Text

about you

"do you think i have forgotten?" "do you know think i have forgotten about you?"

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings/tags: angst with a hint of fluff at the end. set in tfatws. the reader refers to bucky as james.

summary: you reunite with the love of your life.

in the heart of brooklyn, under the soft glow of streetlights, you and your fiancée, james buchanan barnes, shared what would become your final night together. the air was thick with the unspoken fear of the unknown, the looming threat of war, and the desperation of a love that had yet to fully blossom. you clutched his hand tightly, your engagement ring glinting faintly in the darkness, a symbol of a future you both hoped to see.

"promise me you'll come back, james," you whispered, your voice trembling.

he smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "i promise. i'll always come back to you."

your goodbye was marked by a kiss, full of longing and fear, sealing a promise that fate would soon break.

your story took a darker turn shortly after his departure. selected for the super-soldier serum experiments, you underwent the same harrowing transformation as steve rogers, albeit with an added layer of peril.

the government was eager to see how the serum affected women, and you became their prime subject. the serum coursed through your veins, granting you strength and agility but also a burden you hadn't anticipated.

when steve plunged into the icy depths, you were there, fighting by his side until the end. you were frozen alongside him, your life suspended in the cold embrace of time. decades passed before you were discovered, thawed out much later than steve, only to find that the world you knew was gone and the man you loved was presumed dead.

years blurred together as you tried to find your place in a world that had moved on without you. you worked alongside steve, fighting new battles while mourning the loss of your past life. the pain of losing the love of your life never dulled, a constant ache in your heart.

when steve found out he was alive, it was like a jolt to your system. the news was almost too much to bear, a mixture of hope and dread.

"james?" you whispered, your heart pounding.

steve looked at you, his eyes filled with sympathy. "he's alive, but he's not the same."

your world tilted as you absorbed the news. you had to see him, to know for sure.

when you finally found him, the man you loved was a shadow of his former self. broken, haunted, and unrecognizable.

"don't tell her, steve," he pleaded, his voice raw with desperation. "i don’t want her to see me like this."

"it's too late," you said, stepping out from behind steve. your voice was steady, but your heart was breaking.

his eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of the man you had loved. "james," you whispered, your voice trembling.

his breath hitched at the sound of his name, but then his face hardened. "you shouldn't be here," he said, turning away.

you reached out to touch him, but he flinched, stepping back. "james, please..."

"i'm not the man you remember," he said, his voice filled with pain. "i don’t want you here."

with those words, he walked away, leaving you standing there, your heart shattered into pieces. years had passed since that painful encounter, but the memory still haunted you. you had thrown yourself into your work, trying to forget, but he was always there, a ghost in your thoughts.

when sam called you for backup, you didn't hesitate. you were a soldier, and you knew how to bury your emotions when the mission demanded it. but as you made your way up to zemo's apartment, you couldn't shake the feeling of dread that settled in your stomach.

stepping into the room, your eyes immediately locked onto his. his breath hitched at the sight of you, but you didn't acknowledge him, focusing instead on sam and zemo. the four of you discussed the game plan, the tension in the room palpable.

as you all geared up, he pulled sam aside. "why didn't you tell me she was coming?"

sam shrugged, giving him a knowing look. "i figured it was time you two talked. she's all you ever talk about anyway."

he glanced at you, your eyes meeting briefly before you quickly looked away. his heart ached at the distance between the two of you, a distance that seemed insurmountable.

this unspoken chasm seemed to vanish, though, when the fight with the flag smashers erupted. the fight was intense, the chaos of battle a familiar comfort. you moved with the grace and precision of a trained warrior, your super-soldier abilities making you a formidable opponent. but you could feel his eyes on you, always watching, always worrying.

at one point, someone came at you with a gun from behind. seeing the danger, he rushed over and knocked the attacker unconscious.

"james, i can take care of myself!" you snapped at him, your irritation clear.

"i know, but i just worry about you," he replied, his voice soft, almost pleading.

you scoffed, your eyes narrowing. "you didn't seem to care about me when we last saw each other. why do you suddenly care now?"

he opened his mouth to respond, but you had already turned away, your heart aching with the weight of your unresolved past.

after the battle, he found you leaning against a wall, catching your breath. he approached slowly, his steps hesitant. "y/n, can we talk? please?"

you looked at him, your eyes guarded. "you have five minutes."

he took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. "i'm so sorry for how i treated you. i was lost, and i didn't want you to see me like that."

"when steve told me you were alive, i was terrified you wouldn't remember me. that you wouldn’t remember us," you said, your voice trembling with emotion.

he reached out, taking your hands gently in his. "do you really think i could ever forget you? the thought of seeing you again was the only thing that kept me going when i was being brainwashed. i kept imagining our wedding, our life together."

tears welled up in your eyes as you listened. "i did the same thing."

"i always hoped i would find my way back to you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

"then why did you leave me?" you asked, your voice breaking. "if you loved me as much as i loved you?"

he looked down, shame flooding his eyes. "i wanted to find the man you fell in love with. that's why i went to wakanda. i needed to be better for you."

you shook your head, tears streaming down your face. "you could have asked me to come with you. or at least said goodbye. do i really mean that little to you?"

"no!" he said vehemently, his grip on your hands tightening. "you mean everything to me. i was just... i was afraid. i didn't want you to see me like that, to see how broken i was."

he dropped to his knees, still holding your hands. "i’m on my hands and knees y/n. just like i was when i asked you to marry me. please, give me another chance."

a tearful laugh escaped you, and you pulled him up, looking into his eyes. "i forgive you, james."

he cupped your face, leaning in to kiss you passionately. when you broke apart, he rested his forehead against yours. "god, i've missed you."

you laughed softly, the sound like music to his ears. "i've missed the sound of your laugh."

his eyes closed in a dazed smile as you touched his face. "i missed your eyes."

he opened his eyes at your words, the warmth of your touch making him smile.

he kissed you again, the world fading around the two of you. but just as you were lost in each other, a familiar voice interrupted your moment.

"hey lovebirds, we've got work to do," sam called out, smirking.

you broke apart, smiles on your faces. he took your hand, squeezing it gently. "we'll finish this later."

you nodded, "yes, we will."

as the two of you regrouped with sam and zemo, the weight of your past began to lift, replaced by the promise of a future you could finally begin to build together. he couldn't stop looking at you, his heart full for the first time in decades.

"are you okay?" sam asked, his voice low enough for only him to hear.

he nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "yeah, i think I will be."

the battle wasn't over, but the both you had already won something more important. you had found your way back to each other again. and together, you could face anything.

last that night, after the dust had settled and your enemies were subdued, the two of you found a quiet corner away from prying eyes.

"i can't believe you're really here," he said softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

you smiled, leaning into his touch. "i'm here, james. and i'm not going anywhere."

he pulled her into his arms, holding you close. "i love you. i’ve never stopped loving you."

"i love you too," you whispered, your voice full of emotion.

you stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, knowing that the road ahead wouldn't be easy, but at least you would face it together.

"james," you whispered, the name rolling off your tongue like a prayer.

you were the only one who still called him james, a name that reminded him of a simpler time, of the man he used to be. he closed his eyes, savoring the sound. "i love it when you call me that."

you smiled, resting your head against his chest. "you'll always be james to me."

he held you tighter, his heart swelling with love. "and you'll always be my everything."

in that moment, surrounded by the chaos of a world that had changed so much, the two of you found solace in each other, your love a beacon guiding the both of you through the darkness. and as you stood there, wrapped in each other's embrace, you knew that no matter what came next, the two of you would face it together, just as you always had.

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