#the 'i am above humanity' thing shouldn't be an angst thing it should be a factor of his psychology

[yellowocaballero]

Continuing the JJK posting: Gojo is such a mystifying character.

Action show where swinging out the gate you introduce a character who is so incredibly powerful you then have to, before every fight, establish why Gojo can't just show up and fix the problem in seconds. His existence weakens the stakes of everything. The rest of the show you are backflipping ridding yourself of him. He jobs two major bad guys off the gate and every subsequent extensive fight with them feels like cleaning up his leftovers. Put him in a box, he's ruining the game balance. So absolutely broken. As a writer it makes your job so difficult, but it's also the entire point of him. "Hey I want to write the single most badass character of all time who can do the most insane shit but I will also engage with that", rock on king.

I think he's most interesting when understood as somebody who is fundamentally alien and removed from ordinary human thought processes. In his world there is absolutely nothing he cannot do, and the thought 'maybe I can't do something' just doesn't occur to him. He is capable of doing whatever he wants and of killing anybody who tries to stop him from doing what he wants. If he is not doing something, it is because he does not want to do it. If he wants to do something (kill all of his superiors) and he's not doing it, it's because he doesn't think it's the most effective route towards what he has decided to do. I think this informs the majority of his actions (and, importantly, what he doesn't do)(murder). I think he's reasoned out that you should have a general reason to do things, and it feels like sheer luck that he places value and meaning in human life, and as such you shouldn't kill them without a strong reason. Watching the flashback arc, if I hadn't seen a) JJK and b) Naruto and you asked me which shitty teen became a law abiding school teacher and which became a mass murderer I would have guessed the wrong ones.

Anyway, the way I like to think of him, he's a raging narcissist with a god complex to match. Horrifically, he's actually a good teacher, but he is also a teacher as an ego/'raising my child army' thing. He would be the kind of mother who is a good mother but lowkey had kids also as an ego/unconditional love/lots of attention/'surely my child will worship me' thing. Gets randomly into new hobbies, obsesses over them, gorges himself on the novelty factor, before dropping them in a week once he gets too good at them. Rinse and repeat. The only hobby that does not eventually grow boring is annoying people, so it's his only hobby. Geto told him age 15 that he'll never have any friends if he keeps on casually reminding people that they live on his sufferance, so he developed another back-up hobby more conducive for friendship of helping people forget that they live on his sufferance. This has convinced him that he's a god of subterfuge, intrigue, and trickery. Does eat women out, but is convinced that this makes him God's gift to women, and is actually pretty terrible in bed because his partner's desires never even occur to him. Is convinced he's as good at sex as he is everything else. Sex is actually the one thing he's bad at, but he's not ready to hear that.

In S1 he overall left me with the general impression that his entire idea of how high school worked was sourced from anime, and as such decided that being a teacher involved nothing but field trips, sports games, beach episodes, sports festivals, etc. Did not know how the classroom component worked so he skips it. Jossed, but also left me convinced that it would be very funny if he was an immortal 150-whatever years old and had founded the high school himself out of, you guessed it, an ego thing, and never once properly learned how high schools worked and just arbitrarily made his own aging students the new principals so he could continue engaging in training the kids who are too Misfit (TM) to get apprenticeships and living his fun slice of life anime life and raising a child army of kids who will worship him any day now. Annnyyyy day now. Any day now.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

A Well Deserved Grudge

Summary: You still hate them after their overblot

Notes: GN Yuu. Some based off some stuff from the light novel. Yuu is pretty evil in Jamils. General edginess that comes with angst

Based on this old post abt Yuu with scars • Part 2

Riddle Rosehearts

A familiar click of heels has you on edge. As they approach you turn around to face him, messing with some of the bandages around your neck from your last encounter. There stood Riddle, his confident stance dropping the second he meets your eyes. 

His usual piercing gaze filled with anxiety as the words he so wanted to say— needed to say— died on his tongue. He's such a coward without a rule book. He's even more cowardly under your scrutiny.

"What?” You deadpan at him and Riddle swallows, looking at the bandages on your neck and arms. He then looks at your face, covered in a few scratches from rose bushes.

“... I… am here to… ” His voice shook toward the end and he took a breath to steady himself. “I'm sorry Yuu. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

You merely raised a brow and fully turned to him. Riddle could see the gash along your neck that peeked through some of the bandages. A grim reminder on how his magic failed during his overblot. The expression you had on your face as the collar around your neck continued to tighten and cut into you haunts him.

“You’re apologizing?” A flicker of determination flashes in Riddle's eyes as he nods. 

“Yes. I know it's not enough but… I'm sorry.” The dullness of your eyes reminds the dormleader that this was far from enough to smooth things over.

“I do not forgive you.” He should have expected that, yet he winces still. What is he supposed to do in this scenario? What else does he say? There is no rule, no guide to what he has done. Deuce and Ace said that he needs to make things right, but how?

“... I understand. If there's anything I can do to earn your forgiveness, please–”

“I don't think there's anything you could do that makes this okay.” Your voice is dull as you pull at the bandages on your neck. “Shouldn't you be in the headmage's office fighting your expulsion?”

It was true. Crowley was to judge whether or not he was to be expelled for his actions. It scared him. “I… I am but–”

“Then go. We both know you won't be kicked out– Crowley doesn't have a backbone and your bitch of a mother will make sure you stay in. You want to ‘earn’ my forgiveness? Stay the hell away from me.” 

Riddle grits his teeth and closes his fist tighter. Emotions of all kinds surge through him. He's confused, he's guilty, he's angry, he's lost. 

Most of all, he's scared. Scared of your gaze, scared of how you hold yourself. Your eyes remind him so much of the ones above him he tries to please and they're boring into him with such disapproval.

“I don't want to see you around, get your shitty tantrums in check. Just because you lose your head doesn't mean others have to. Just go.”

By now you've turned away and started walking off. Riddle could only watch, unable to find the strength to move or say anything. It was probably for the better. He needs to go to the Headmage.

Jamil Viper

He hates this feeling. You have forgiven him, though and through, water under the bridge and he hates it. He hates how you shrug it off. He hates that you don't hate him. He hates this guilt.

He mind controlled you. You. A magicless and defenseless human who was already helping him. You who are in a position so similar to his. You who had no way to fight back. He kidnapped you, keeping you in Scarabia for days regardless of your own plans. If it weren't for your dorm ghosts feeding the fire fairies, Crowley would have cut off your food for the week.

Then he tried to kill you, and had the audacity to be angry at you for it. To add even more salt into the wound you were so kind with him afterwards. You didn’t seem to take it seriously. Take him seriously. Your attitude reminds him so much of Kalim which makes this even worse.

He hates your smile. He hates your attitude. He hates the way you have to walk because of your injuries. He hates seeing glimpses of the wounds on your abdomen from him.

Yet another reminder of his failures. How he hates someone that's not entirely to blame. How he hates someone that's overly nice. He avoids your gaze so often he doesn't notice the glints of satisfaction within it.

Vil Schoenheit

He could only stare at the prefect within the mirror. Their gaze so fixated on themselves and their new appearance they paid no mind to the hospital bed they should be laying in. He wants to lecture them to sit, lay back down and to stop sitting up, but he's sure they would break down if he did.

Blackened veins run along your body, your skin reddened and inflamed in random areas. Even with all the magical remedies the doctors have given you, the black tar like substance runs through you still. “Good going Vil. Really fucked that one up huh?” 

Vil’s eyes met yours in the mirror, he could see your face steel itself before you turned to him. Your eyes stood out against the inky scrawls of venom coursing through you. They were so cold, so angry.

“... I know this is something I may never be able to amend…” Vil starts, taking a breath. Fuck. Years of acting and hard work are lost on him. It is hard to keep strong when seeing how badly your own childishness, your own selfishness hurt someone this badly.

“I want to apologize. I know this is far from enough. I plan to not only cover any costs that may occur in your recovery, but to also offer my support in any way I can during your recovery.” 

Your gaze only hardens. "Bare minimum I guess…” You sniffle a bit as words slur. It was clear you were still inebriated. You weren't going to be the most logical right now, but that's fine. He will say this apology a million times over if it would make it right.

“... If there is anything you need..."

“Go away.” You sniffle again, wiping away tears. “Just leave.” Vil swallows and shuts his eyes for a moment. “I understand.” 

As he turns to leave the drugs in your system really start to kick in. “You… You really are a villain.” The words come out crude and harsh, no doubt you are speaking to hurt him. Yet as you turned away he could see your face in the mirror.

Scared. You were scared of him. You were scared and truly believed in what you were saying. And you weren't wrong. He is a villian.

Malleus Draconia

A mighty dragon places his glass heart in the hands of a human without their knowledge, and is enraged when the human breaks it. Except here Malleus broke it himself to protect himself from the possibility of the human hurting him first. Now he holds the shards of what's left and sees them stained not by his blood, but by yours.

A position he put onto you, his only friend. He does not even know if he has the right to call you that anymore. Not after his little stunt. Children of men do not deserve to be locked away in the dark, no matter how beautiful you were in it. They were to be free. Even if it hurt him. You and him could have been free together.

He looks at your expression. It still holds no fear, no anxiety, just as foolishly brave you were when he first met you. Instead it holds disappointment. Such a pathetic emotion that he would smite off anyone else if it wasn't you. 

“... You're really selfish, you know that?” You mutter and look away from him, as if not wanting to believe the words coming out of your own mouth. “Were we really friends or was I just some doll to you? Some obsession?”

A sniffle. “I wanted to be your friend…” Malleus hasn't the words to respond. He can only open his mouth then close it. “I know. I'm sorry. You made me so happy I wanted you all to myself. It's not an excuse, but when I thought I would be losing you, it was too much for me. I made… A very rash decision.”

There's silence. More deafening than the silence at his birthday parties growing up. “Is there any possibility you could forgive me?” It was a daring question, one he was afraid to know the answer to. 

“... I don't know, Tsuno. I think… I think I need some time to think about it.” You turn away from him and his heart sinks, the pet name does nothing to soothe his nerves.

He remembers all the times he's told you how his kind are born cruel and you would tell him that his actions have shown just how kind he could be. That him learning to be nice and overcoming his nature is more meaningful than anyone who was born that way. 

And he ruined that. He may not be able to choose his nature but he can choose his actions. He chose to hurt you.

[bradtomlovesya]

What could've been | Bradley Simpson

Brad Simpson x reader blurb

Summary: You write a letter to let go of your feelings about Brad but he ends up reading it.

Warnings: Pure Angst!, Brad being kinda an idiot, fluff!

w/c: 3.4k +

a/n: Enjoy this story! I am still alive. As always, comments, reblogs and likes are completely appreciated❤️. Gif not mine.

I didn't know you. Or at least that's what I told you when I met you. I lied, clearly I did know you, I knew who you were. 

I didn't want to lie to you, I swear the rest of our interactions were completely sincere and honest. I know it's not right to start... whatever it was this way but I didn't want you to think that this was just because of your fame, your music or because I was just a “fan” of yours because that wasn't the case. Knowing who you were and knowing you are two very different things.

The only thing I wanted was to see where it all went, I got my hopes up too high, I got carried away by a useless dream and I created unrealistic expectations that, even though I knew they were never going to be fulfilled, I kept them because the human brain works wonders, we idealize situations and then we crash to the ground, that's exactly what we do.

Damn it, why did I have to fall in love with you? you didn't belong to me then and you would never be mine. I should have built a wall, or at least I should have realized that you had already built one between us from the beginning.

I was blind, I was deaf and also mute. Only if it allowed me a little more time with you.

That day at the lake, you started to play an improvised melody but you were so good with the guitar that it seemed you had rehearsed it a thousand times. “How did you get that?” you asked referring to the scar under the crease of my elbow on my forearm.

“You don't want to know” I shook my head as I laughed. I was embarrassed by the story behind that scar.

“If I wanted to know before, now even more” He smiled mischievously.

“I was 20, had a boyfriend and my first car” I summarized the story but he didn't seem to get it. “What I'm trying to say is that we fucked in my car and I got burned by the car mat because of the rubbing” I said offhandedly, I felt pink flood my cheeks. “I told you you didn't want to know.”

He laughed with his head back and stopped playing that impromptu tune. “That's an amazing story for a scar” he laughed even more.

“I'm amazing, you shouldn't be surprised” I winked at him as I smiled and leaned my body back on my hands on the plaid fabric.

“I'm just amazed at how cool you are” You smiled as you watched me and the whole world disappeared around me. 

You played that tune again but this time mumbling something, I couldn't identify what it was but I liked listening to you humming and playing with your fingers on the strings of that wooden guitar.

Later that day, when we decided to go back home, the car tire got stuck in a muddy hole. We were in the middle of nowhere, we only had each other.

“I swear that mud hole wasn't there when we left the car” He looked at me apologetically.

“It's okay” I laughed and shook my head as I felt the black clouds gather above us. “Let's try to move it before the pit gets any bigger and we can't get it out.” 

“Okay, try to speed it up while I push it from behind” He proposed and I nodded. I rounded your car and climbed into the driver's seat, started the car and prepared to accelerate.

“1... 2... 3...” You pushed the car and I accelerated, I heard the wheel of the vehicle squealing and you complaining, you were yelling something but I didn't hear you until I stopped accelerating. You were asking me to stop.

“What happened? Did I hurt you?” I got out of the car totally pale as paper and scared to death. That's when I saw you, your white shirt totally muddy and covered in mud. The wheel had splashed all the water and mud from the puddle and had smeared it all over you. I laughed like never before in my life when I saw you like that. “Sorry, I didn't hear you” I continued laughing as you brushed some mud off your cheeks and chin.

“I see you didn't” you laughed with me and shook your head. “At least you already emptied the hole and it's out of water” you laughed again. “Let's try it again” 

“Very well” I got back in the car and accelerated when you indicated. The wheel squeaked again but this time the car started to move forward slowly. 

“Turn left!” you shouted and so I did, I immediately turned left. “Put your foot down!” You exclaimed again and before you finished saying it my foot was already stepping on that accelerator as if my life depended on it. A few seconds later it started to rain but the car pulled out of the hole.

“We did it” I exclaimed getting out of the car not caring about the rain. You ran to hug me and I felt my dress get muddy but I didn't care. I loved being in your arms as much as I loved the smell of coffee in the morning.

The rain was getting us wet, we were covered in mud and maybe we would have a cold the next day but that didn't matter. 

“We are a good team” You said with a smile. Words that to this day it pains me to remember. I don't know if you lied or if you just didn't know what it was like to be a team. 

You took my face in your hands and kissed me in the rain, as cliché as a romantic movie I was grateful to live with you. 

“We're getting wet” I murmured against your lips, the taste of your kisses tasted sweet like the wine we shared at the picnic. 

“Let's get in the car then” We walked to the car still with our lips against each other, I couldn't get enough of you and the way your hand rested against my waist made me understand that you needed more too. 

We got into the back of the car and I sat on your lap. Your hands slid one of the straps of my dress under my shoulder and your lips kissed the crook of my neck. 

“Maybe it's my turn to get one of those scars” You smiled running your thumb over that mark on my forearm and your eyes found mine. I knew exactly what you meant and I was more than determined to give it to you. 

I would have given you all of me if I could have.

Maybe your memory of that moment is different from mine, after all our memories are only memories of the memory and not of the original moment, we lose more and more details no matter how much we want to keep it complete.

A couple of days later I saw you in an interview and smiled when I heard your cold voice. At that moment I was drinking lemon tea and had a handkerchief next to me. Only you and I knew how it happened.

It was only 3 months, whatever it was... it didn't take much for me to fall in love with you and I don't know why just one day you decided you didn't want me in your life anymore. There were no explanations. You just stopped responding, for a long time I felt that you at least owed me an explanation. I felt it was the least I deserved but maybe I wasn't important enough for you, maybe you didn't think I deserved an explanation.

I'm not writing this for you, I'm writing it for me. I want to try to understand why the fuck you ended this so abruptly without even saying goodbye. You just walked away! You just walked away and left me wondering what I did wrong.

Today, I finally come to the conclusion that maybe we led very different lives, maybe you felt that I would never understand and that this from the very beginning was meant to be a passing thing and nothing more.

I'm okay with that, I am. Or at least I was until you decided to use my story for one of your damn songs and have everyone link it to your current girlfriend. You used me for a song and never had the decency to write a simple text that said “I'm sorry” It's not that fucking hard! I hate you, I hate you I hate you I hate you for making me love you and then walk away like nothing happened.

I hear she's gentle, I hear she's pretty and reserved. Everything you've always wanted. 

From the bottom of my heart I just want you to be happy, I just want someone to love you like I wanted to.

I use this letter to say goodbye to the part of me that loved you, I use this letter to let you go and move on with my life like you did with yours.

You are now a stranger that I used to know, our thing never happened.

I closed the letter and put it in a cream colored envelope, placed your name on it and put it inside the book I was currently reading. 

I went on with my life without knowing about yours, one month turned into two and two turned into four. I went on with my life. The only thing that connected me to you was Kirstie even though she didn't know we ever met. I never told anyone but my dog and, lucky for me, she's great at keeping secrets.

“Y/n?” Kirstie asked as she watched me fiddle around on her piano.

“Y/n?” I spoke without looking at her.

“You know I usually take books from your bookshelf to read them and then put them back where they belong?” she observed me with detempt.

“Yes, I know that.” I nodded as I lifted my gaze to finally look at her.

“Well... last week I picked up a book that was right at the bottom of your shelf getting dusty to read just because I thought it was interesting and something fell out of it.”

“A divider?” I asked. “Maybe I didn't finish it but you can take it off and use it yourself, no problem.” I added without giving it much thought.

“No...” He sighed deeply. “What fell out of it was some kind of envelope. It had Bradley's name on it and it wasn't sealed.”

Color left my face, I had forgotten about that letter.

“I didn't read it” He continued speaking. “At least not all of it, just the first part.” 

“It's fine” I said without further ado. “And where is it?” 

“I sent it” He mumbled.

“What do you mean you sent it? Who did you send it to?” I asked with confusion.

“To Bradley. I only read the first part and thought it was a letter you forgot to send. I felt he should have it.” The tone in her voice was apologetic, my face telling her that letter was never planned to be sent.

“Fuck, Kirstie” I inhaled deeply. “No one was ever supposed to read that letter, it was just for me” I clarified as I ran my hands through my hair. “When did you send it?” 

“Three days ago” She bit her lip. 

It should have reached him by now.

“No way” I covered my face with my hands. “Damn it” I mumbled. “You know he has a girlfriend, right?” I scolded her.

“I didn't read the letter, y/n. I don't know what happened between you two” She excused herself.

“I know you didn't mean it badly” I sighed ”I never told you what happened between us.” 

“Well?” he asked. “What happened between you two”

“Carpet burn is about me” was all I managed to tell him. “I'm the one with the scar” I stood up. ”I should go.” I grabbed my coat.

“I'm sorry! I didn't mean to cause trouble.” 

“Don't worry, he might not even read it and if he does he won't care, that was a long time ago.” I slipped my coat on. “We're fine.” 

I left her apartment without another word, I needed to be alone, I needed to assimilate that my feelings had been revealed to the world. I got in my car and drove home in the rain. I was so distracted that I arrived on autopilot, I didn't even notice.

I got out of the car and entered the apartment I lived in using the key. I climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and there he was. Soaking wet, his eyes met mine as soon as he realized I was standing in front of him.

“How did you get in?” I asked neutrally.

“I went in with the elderly couple who live just down here. They recognized me and let me come in to wait for you so I wouldn't get wet outside” he stood up.

“You used to come here a lot but that was a long time ago” I played it down. “What are you doing here?” 

“The letter you sent me-”

“I didn't send it to you” I interrupted before he finished speaking. “You weren't supposed to read that letter.”

“Then how?”

“How did you get it?” I interrupted him again ‘Kirstie sent it, she thought that... I don't know what she thought, she sent it without reading it’ I walked past him so I could open the door to my apartment.

“I see...” He nodded and walked in behind me into my apartment. I didn't stop him.

I grabbed a towel from the closet and passed it to him, “dry yourself, you're wringing.”

“Thank you” She dried her hair and a stony silence pervaded the entire apartment. 

“So you read the letter and now what?” sighed I. ”I don't understand what you're doing here.”

“To be honest, I don't. I read the letter and I thought you sent it to me because you wanted to talk to me” He took off his draining jacket and put it on the kitchen counter.

“Well I didn't” I folded my arms. “I only wrote that letter to get it off my chest and bury that damn feeling once and for all.”

“If I remember everything that happened and don't act like it didn't happen, y/n” he stepped forward. “Back then I went through a lot and walked away from all the people I cared about. When everything was better I felt like I had been through too much and it didn't seem fair to just come back into your life just like that.”

“Don't talk like you know it's fair and it's not fair to me. You have no right” The anger I was hiding now took hold of me. “You left, just one day you stopped responding and you cut me out of your life like a used and old item. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I didn't see it that way, I don't know what I was doing.” He took another step forward.

“What you did was spend time with me and treat me like your girlfriend, sleep with me, make me tell you all my secrets and then disappear overnight like a fucking coward. You looked for another girl, pretended nothing happened and then used my fucking story for one of your fucking songs” I took a step back.

His eyes searched for anything to focus on other than me, he looked embarrassed. He couldn't even look at me. But it wasn't just the fact that he had written a song about me, no. There was something else, something else that embarrassed him. He raised his eyes to mine again and then I understood... then I understood.

“You didn't remember” Now it really hurt like hell. “You didn't remember that I was the one who told you that story or did you?” I snorted. ‘Wow... You forgot I was the one with the scar from the rug burn’ I laughed unfunnily. “This just keeps getting better and better.”

“Sorry, you said it in your letter. Memories are the memory of the memory. It was all a blur.” He apologized.

“Fuck you” I denied and felt so much anger inside me that tears welled up in my eyes. “You're such a scumbag.”

“Y/n... I never meant to hurt you” he tried to take my hand.

“What the fuck is your problem” I snapped. “You think you can go through life deluding girls by telling them 'we're a great team' and then just disappear just like that? No, Bradley, you can't do that” I looked at him totally broken, I wanted him to realize what he had done, I wanted him to understand that this was his fault.

“I'm sorry” He apologized again. 

“It doesn't matter” I denied ”What's done is done. Now you can go back to your girlfriend and your precious life and carry on as if this never happened. No one knows about it besides the two of us, after all.”

“I don't have a girlfriend and I don't have a precious life” I saw his eyes crystallize, I had never seen him like this. “She broke up with me.”

I folded my arms and stared at him “I'm sorry for you”

“That's not true” He denied.

“It's true, I'm not sorry” I shrugged. “I'm not your consolation prize I'm not your friend either. You made it very clear that I'm nobody to you.”

“At least you're honest” he laughed lightly. “That's one of the things I always liked about you” He sighed. “I'm sorry I walked away, I'm sorry I didn't contact you. I've regretted it ever since. I just felt like this would never have worked out.”

“We are different, I would have given everything for you and you would have given nothing but crumbs” I wiped away a tear ”No one can give more than they have.”

“I let our differences cloud me. I let my doubts get the better of me and I chose not to come back to you when everything got better. I wanted to spare us both a broken heart but now I see that I was a complete idiot and all I did was ghosted you and pushed a wonderful girl out of my life just out of fear”

“I'm not going back to you” I denied ”If you hadn't read that letter you never would have come back to get me.”

“I thought it had been easy for you, I thought you had considered it something passing and ephemeral. When I read that letter I realized that it had meant as much to me as it did to you and neither of us knew how to say it. I put up a wall and pushed you away before I gave you a chance to hurt me. I have trust issues and I projected them onto you. I apologize a thousand times for that.”

“It hurts me that it took so long for you to realize that” I sighed ‘But you're always going to see me like that, a fan you had a fling with and nothing more’ I inhaled ”And I don't want to be that, I'm more than just that. Brad. I'm so much more.”

“You are so much more, I know you are. It was me who didn't see it because I was blind and ignored what was in front of me” He took my face in his hands ‘Please, I'm sorry’ He pleaded.

“I am not what you are looking for” I denied ”I don't think I am what you want and I am afraid to stay knowing that but I am afraid to leave knowing that I may not be happy with someone that I don't love as much as I loved you”

“I only ask you to try, I only ask you to let me into your life again. Officially and not on the sly. I want to get to know you, I want this to be real tear down the walls that separate me from you.”

“That will need a lot of work” I sighed.

“I've never liked easy” He smiled.

||||||||||

Tags: @itszulli @xoxokiaraaxoxo

[lazyneonrabbitt]

One person asked you to and you said it was formatted automatically or something but you would try next time. Very just shrugging it off. Then you didn't try or the formatting didn't work on the next thing you posted. The context is people thought you were either bullshitting and the formatting excuse was a copout so you could keep clogging the tag, or you were telling the truth but just didn't care to check. That's why people didn't come to you. That's why people bitch on discord. They didn't see the point in speaking to you. That one person told you they had arthritis and your response was like who gives a fuck. You post a long post in the tags again.

The fact you had to go back and format all your fic could be construed as very telling. Maybe some people would accuse you of bullshitting. I've never heard of readmore being automatically applied. Long posts are not always cut off, but even then it's just courtesy to always manually apply readmore to long posts. Not every one does so as you know.

Maybe this is just a huge miscommunication thing. Whoever spoke to Murda was well intentioned but it was ill put. They should have spoken to you upfront even as it might have been a waste of time.

To the person worried about posting their writing, seriously, hold up a minute. When did it become about that. When did become about you, anon? Stop fishing for sympathy from a popular writer just to get attention. Nobody is bitching about fic where I am , it's about how it's presented in the tags. Nobody likes being confronted by a huge wall of text when browsing. We are only human and vent on discord. But we don't slag off the content of the fic. Because people don't use readmore we end up losing out on finding good writers and fic because the first impression is so so so bad.

Welcome, anon.

Long post, so readmore 🙃

First of all I do not "shrug off" the anons I get. If it sounded like that, it wasn't intentional.

And yes. 99% of the longer posts I see (me personally, in the app that I use on my samsung phone and iPad sometimes too) do have the app's "see more" button on longer posts.

I do, not joking in the slightest, forget. I forget half of the things I'm supposed to do in life because I have the worst memory ever and it bothers me in my daily life. At work, everywhere. (Not fishing for shit, just stating) and wtf I shouldn't even have to defend myself like this but here we are.

Also why would I clog tags?? I block people who's content I don't wanna see in tags or who spamtag. Wanna see my blocked tags and users? I'll post them for you.

"Maybe this is just a huge miscommunication thing." Please read rhe above statements.

I'm not adressing that anon further. It's not my place.

"Because the first impression is so so bad." Is one I can't wrap my head around. I scroll the tag casually and find cute fluff. I see angst and mayor character death, hell I've seen Dixon insest fics (Not hating, if the writing is good I applaud you for your works) so, where is the "bad first impression" coming from? My posts are not that frequent nor popular to be always at the top of the searches.

I'm running out of words.

[ezilyamuzed]

There’s no place like home- part 19

Summary: The reader has had a unique gift all her life. While considering it a curse, she discovers the identity of her real father after her mothers passing. Journeying towards her new life, she finds herself thrown within the Winchester’s world. Is it her destiny?

Setting: End of season 13. This takes place in the midst of episode 21. Flashbacks are italicized.

Warnings: Language. Angst. Sooo much Fluff.... some implied sexy time (nudity & kissing). Death. Blood. Self harm (I guess cutting yourself for a blood spell would be?)

A/N:Second to last chapter. I’m finally ready to say goodbye to it. Things have unraveled more and more, so I hope you’ve been paying attention. I wrote this while watching episode 21 at least 6 times. Reworking it had to happen, but I think I did the original script justice. Let me know what you think!

 Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy! 

Series Masterlist

”Slow down Andretti, ” you heard Dean chuckle out. ”There’s a clearing up on the left.”

You took your foot slowly off the gas as you stuck out your tongue to him. You turned your head back and saw the clearing, braking to turn into it carefully.

“And here we are.”

”Middle of the woods?” you looked around from over the wheel. ”Now's the time you plan to kill me huh?”

”I mean, our first night together we did dump a body in the woods, ” he smirked.

You almost spoke up about that not being the first time but stopped yourself. You were unsure if Dean even remembered the night he had been your protector all those years ago or if a certain someone happened to have taken those memories away from him too. Better to leave it alone; keep the good memories...well, mostly good.

“Come on, ” he said with the creak of the opening door.

You followed his lead, walking up to him holding out his hand for yours. It was dark, but the night sky made it easy enough to see with the millions of stars above. After a few minutes he led you to a small pond, the moon shimmering in it's ripples.

” It's beautiful here, ” you smiled over to him.

”Thought you'd like it, ” he smiled back, his light glowing brightly with the moon. “It's no pool, but I'll have you know that this is private property, so we shouldn't be here.”

”Taking a risk there Winchester?”

”Yeah well someone told me I should. And then they called me an old man, ” the side of his lip curling up.

”You are, ” you giggled back as you dropped your hand from his and walked towards it, discarding clothing as you drew closer to the edge.

”What are you doing?” you could hear the laugh in his voice.

”Living Dean. You should try it, ” you said as you looked over your shoulder to him as you shimmied off your underpants. “Come on. Old man.”

“I’m the same age as you smart ass!”

The water was chilly, but not much. With the warm summer air, it was refreshing. Could have made do without all the random fish and gunk surrounding your feet, but the sight of Dean standing there on the edge with a smile was all you needed.

”Not going to join?” You called out.

”I like the sight from here, ” he replied.

”It's better up close, ” you teased while splashing the water around you.

You watched him as he undressed, his eyes never really leaving yours but for a moment to look around before his boxers came off. He walked in slowly, making faces as the water continued to reach higher up his thighs.

”Just jump right in!”

He rolled his eyes comically before diving headfirst into the almost still water, causing a huge splash. You watched and waited for him to surface, but it was taking a long time. Too long.

”Dean?” you called out, as you circled around. ”Dean!”

”Right here Doc, ” his voice stated behind you, making you turn around swiftly.

”You worried me there, ” you sighed in relief.

”I’m a really good swimmer, ” he smirked back. ”This is the first time in a long time that I've gotten to do this without clothes though.”

”Oh really?”

”Yes really, ” he moved in closer to you, making waves with his hands. ”It's a little freeing. Normally I'm pushed in by a really hot chick, one that I can't stop thinking about kissing.”

”Sounds like a real bitch, ” you smirked, remembering the night at the hotel pool, how you pushed him in because you didn't want him to kiss you. A plan that failed miserably later.

”She can be.” he gave a shrug. ”Ah, but when she smiles the whole world stops and I can't believe that a smile like that is for a grunt like me.”

”Maybe it's not, ” you teased as you pushed yourself to be almost flesh with him. Looking up to him, you began to rub your hand down his arm. ”Maybe it's because she can't believe that she's so lucky to have such an amazing man want to see her smile.”

Dean leaned his head into yours, kissing your lips gently. You pulled away with a smile planted on your face. Everything about this moment was perfect. You could almost forget everything that was waiting for you back at the bunker.

”Dean?”

”Yeah?”

”What if things go wrong? What if- if it doesn't work or you don't come back?”

” Let's not think about that, ” he started as he leaned into you again, leaving light kisses along your neck to your ear.

”Hard not to think about it, ” you pulled away again. ”Can we be serious for a moment?”

”Fate wanted us together right?” he sighed, earning a nod from you. ”So it will work. I'll be back, safe, and sound. Can't run from fate.”

”I wish I was as hopeful as you, ” you sighed out. ”I'm just worried, that's all. And this- this almost seems like you're saying goodbye.”

”I can't hide anything from you huh?” he chuckled softly. ”I won't lie. I'm worried too. I wanted to make what could be the last night together special.”

”Dean-, ” you softly spoke.

”Hey, I don't want any boohoo moments, ” he cut you off. ”I know the risks but I know what the prize is too. My family, everyone including you, all together again.”

You looked up to his eyes with the moon gleaming in them. Those damn eyes. So full of hope, courage, and bravery. You envied him at that moment. This was a first for you; the feeling of powerlessness. Just what you had been afraid of in getting too close to someone, but he was right. Everything was worth it because you wouldn't trade the way he looked at you for the world.

You leaned into him and laid your lips on his. His own welcoming you as his arms wrapped around your body. The two of you became one in the water as the ripples of your movement steadily caught in the night sky. A moment, you were never going to forget.

”I love you Y/N, ” he managed to breathe out.

You moved and looked up to him, waiting for you to say it in return.

”I love you too Dean.”

The two of you made it back towards your discarded clothing along the ground. Taking your time to dry a little, you got them back on, hoping that the night could go on forever.

”We should get back, ” Dean stated as he pulled his shirt down over his head.

”Not yet, ” you replied as you placed your warm hoodie back on. ”How about something to eat? I'm starving.”

”A woman after my own heart.”

At such a late time of night, the only thing that was open was fast food. But that was alright. You'd eat gruel if it meant a few more minutes before you had to go back. A few more minutes to forget what awaited the two of you.

Sitting in the car with the radio playing and tearing into your burger your mind kept going back to all your worries. You didn’t want to ruin the moment of peace, but you knew your mind would not stop until you had some sort of answers. Anything to make you feel some relief that he was not walking to his doom.

”What's it like over there?”

”Where?” Dean replied with his mouth full.

”You know where, ” you chuckled as you dropped down your burger. ”How bad is it?”

He reached over to take a sip of his pop from the straw. Either you clear his throat from the half a cow he just demolished or to give him a second to ignore your question. His light started to shift, so you guessed the latter.

”So?”

”It's bad. Real bad. Unicorns that fart glitter and fairies as beautiful as the sun. Its random orgies bad, ” he smirked.

”Be serious, ” you rolled your eyes.

” It's dead, ” he sighed out after a pregnant pause. ”Everything. It's like a wasteland of nothing. Nothing but angels and monsters preying on the few humans left fighting.”

”What if-” you let out a deep breath. ”What if you can't find them?”

”Then I'll come back and keep trying.”

”And Michael?”

”What about him?”

”You're his true vessel. What if he sees you and won't let you go until you say yes?”

”I would never do that, ” he reassured you. ”I have too much waiting for me here.”

”You have done that though, ” you replied. ”I read the books. You did try to say yes, but Adam had already taken your place.”

”That was for Sammy, ” he shook his head. ”That was different.”

”It could- it could happen again.”

”Are you having some sort of premonition or something? What's with the doomsday worries?”

”Death, ” you sighed out. ”She's been warning me about you. About being near you. She even offered to show me my death.”

”And?”

”And I didn't want to know, ” you replied. ”But I have a bad feeling Dean.”

”Hey, stop it, ” he smiled sweetly. ”Aren't you supposed to be the level headed one? Come on Doc. I've survived worse.”

”Just being a realist, ” you turned your head away from him.

”I know. That's what I love about you. But seriously, you freaking out has me scared.”

”Sorry, ” you mumbled under your breath.

”I don't know how long it will take, but I’ll be back. With everyone, if they'll come. Mom, Jack, Charlie, and Bobby.”

”Bobby?” your head snapped towards him. ”Not…?”

”He’s not our Bobby, your dad. But yeah, there’s one from that world and I gotta say, he's just like him. Stubborn and one hell of a fighter.”

”Do you think, ” you paused for a moment. ”Do you think that there is another me? His daughter?”

”Didn't get a chance to ask, ” he replied. ”Even if there was, I doubt that she’d be anything like you. There's no one like you and I'm not even talking about the whole magical gifts stuff. You're one of a kind.”

”I love how you get all sappy there Dean, ” you giggled a bit.

”I'm just a regular Cassanova, ” he smirked.

“For better or worse, this is happening though.”

“Yup.”

“Then what? What do we do? I mean Lucifer will be tied up with us, it won’t hold him forever.”

“True.”

“And Jack. I know you said that you trust the kid, but what if...what if he does go rogue? Turns out like his dad?”

“We’ll take care of it Y/N,” he promised. “I’ll take care of it. Whatever means necessary.”

“I hate all these unknowns,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m so used to having everything all played out. Not worrying about anything really. Things are different now. I’m not alone in it, and it’s scary.”

“Do you trust me?”

You rolled your eyes over to him, giggling a little at his statement while thinking of the cartoon Aladdin saying the same thing when he was lying off his ass to Jasmine. You hoped to god that Dean wasn’t though.

“I do.”

“Good,” he gave a firm nod before smiling. “Because once this is all over. I’m taking you out on a real date.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, dinner, movie. Whatever you want.”

“Sounds boring,” you playfully smiled.

“Okay then,” chuckled a bit. “Road trip. Find a haunted bourse or something and hunt down a ghost.”

“That does sound fun,” you laughed.

“That’s my girl.”

________

Sam tossed and turned in his bed the whole night. His attempt to sleep was becoming futile. All he could think about was Lucifer, standing there with a grim smile taunting him.

How the hell was he going to face him? He wanted him dead, but he needed him. A sickness rose up his throat to that realization. He needed Lucifer; his tormentor.

Sam walked out to the library, Rowena sitting all alone with her nose stuck in one of the spellbooks.

”Can't sleep there Samuel?” she looked up to him. ”I can give you something for that.”

”No thanks, ” he shook his head. He couldn't risk taking something that would distract him from what was to happen next. ”Where’s-”

”They are in the kitchen, ” she interjected. ”Having some sort of family meeting.”

Sam walked towards the kitchen, the pit in his stomach not going away.

”Your plan was ludicrous, ” Cas was stating to Gabriel. ”How could you do that to her?”

”And do what else? Hmm Cassie? Let her be used as Michael or Lucifer’s plaything? No thanks, ” Gabriel stopped himself as soon as he saw Sam enter. ”Hey there slugger. Couldn't sleep?”

”No, ” Sam replied sharply. ”Are you talking about Y/N?”

”No.”

”Yes, ” Cas darted his eyes to Gabriel.

”Fine, yes, ” he rolled his eyes. ”Cas doesn't like that I kept her a secret.”

”We could have used her to get rid of Lucifer once and for all!” Cas glared hard at his older brother. ”This could have ended years ago.”

”Cas, ” Sam breathed out with a disappointed sigh. ”How could you think of using Y/N like that? Giving her up to Michael?”

”Not Michael, him, ” Cas glared at Gabriel. ”He could have trained her properly and stopped them both.”

”I'm a lover, not a fight there Cassidy, ” Gabriel smirked. ”Plus, I'm not her type. It was the Winchester’s that she was destined for, not the archangels. No matter which way you look at it, she belongs next to one of them.”

”Where is Y/N and Dean anyway, ” Sam spoke up, looking around the room. He felt uncomfortable that there was a discussion of Y/N’s destiny without her present.

”She left with Dean.”

”Probably getting in their last chance of nookie before all hell comes home, ” Gabriel stated nonchalantly. ”Not a bad idea if I do say myself. Maybe that is what you need, Cas. You need to be laid.”

”I do not require coitus, ” Cas glared.

”Don't knock it until you try it, little brother, ” Gabriel smirked. ”After this is done, maybe we should take a trip somewhere warm. I know a bunch of friendly porn stars.”

”Sam?” Sam turned his head to Dean with Y/N draped under his arm. ”Everything good here?”

”Yes, ” he lied, trying to avoid Y/N’s glare.

”Liar, ” she spoke up. ”What now?”

”Old Cassie wants you to take down Lucifer, ” Gabriel chimed in.

Cas’ eyes widened to Y/N, almost like he feared what her response would be.

”You think I could Gabe?” she asked, almost like she had been wondering the same.

”Possible, ” he shrugged. ”You pack one hell of a punch there kid. You've gotten me a few times.As long as he isn't joyriding Sam, it could happen.”

”Joyriding Sam?” she glanced over to Sam, the bile was rising in his throat again.

”Winchesters are your weakness my dear, ” Gabriel gave her a funny look. ”I thought you would have figured that out by now?”

Everyone’s eyes shifted around the room. Sam watched Y/N stood there in confusion. Gabriel let out an audible sigh as he reached over for a kitchen knife.

”Let me see your hand, ” he motioned to her.

”You're crazy, ” Dean barked, moving in front of her. ”You're not hurting her.”

”Relax Romeo. I'm just showing you why I've kept Y/N away. Why during the big battle royale, she couldn't be anywhere near. Not without dying at least.”

Sam watched as she placed her hand gingerly on Dean’s back to move him out of the way. She held up her hand as Gabriel took it in his. With a brief hesitation, he slid the blade across her palm nickingit just enough for blood to slowly drip from the wound.

”What’s that going to prove?” Dean growled.

”Give it a second.”

Everyone watched as the cut closed itself off. Within seconds it was perfectly healed with no trace that it had been there.

”Deeper ones tend to leave scars, ” Gabriel confessed. ”She is human after all.”

”So she can heal quickly? What's the point?” Dean snarked.

”Your turn big boy, ” Gabriel handed him the knife. ”Don't cut too deep. Do the same as I did.”

Dean took it from him with hesitation. Sam watched as he hovered the knife over Y/N’s palm. She looked as though her breath had stopped until it glided over her hand. There was blood, slowly trickling, not stopping. Over a minute had passed and no change.

”Cas, ” Gabe bumped into his arm. ”Heal her would you?”

Cas didn't hesitate to use his grace to heal her wound. Sam along with everyone's eyes turned toward Gabriel.

”Sam can try too, but I think I've made my point. You can heal from almost any type of wound, human and otherwise pretty rapidly. If Michael or Lucifer were to be in their true vessels, you would have been dead, kid, ” Gabriel looked to Y/N. ”But I think you already knew that.”

”I didn't know how bad it was, ” she wiped the blood off with a towel. ”I just knew things were different.”

”So the other day when we fought…” Dean started with a look of guilt.

”It hurt like a bitch, ” she smiled. ”But that wasn't the first time I suspected something.”

”Rough sex?” Gabe wiggled his eyebrows causing Y/N to give him a hard look before sheepishly shifting her eyes to Dean.

”I-I didn't know I had hurt you, ” He quietly admitted in a whisper that only you could hear.

”It's fine, ” she smiled at him, laying a hand on his shoulder. ”Now we know why, which is great news.”

”How is any of this great news?” Cas raised his brow.

”Because as long as Sam doesn't go crazy and say yes, then I'm safe. I can hold back Lucifer until we are done with him, ” she looked over to Sam who was gazing at the ground. ”And then, we will kill him. Make him pay for the damage he has caused. Once and for all.”

____

“Has Rowena and Gabriel tracked him yet?” You asked Dean who was busy packing his bag filled with various weapons for the trip.

“I guess so,” he stated while holding a darkened glass bottle.

“Holy water?”

“Holy oil,” he responded. “Arch angels hate it.”

“Good to know.”

“Just have to be prepared for anything,” he sighed as he put it in the bag. “We don’t know what is happening over there right now.”

“Well you should take this too,” you lifted an angel blade up. “Just in case.”

“Yeah,” he nodded as he grabbed it from you.

You watched as his light shifted more and more as the time went by. Anger? Fear? Doubt? It was all so hard to tell.

“You alright there?”

“I’m fine,” he smiled back a tight lipped smile. “I just want to get this over with.

“Well let’s go see what they’re doing,” you held out your hand to his.

He placed his own hand in yours as the two of you walked out. Sam and Cas were just outside the hall talking to one another.

“You ready?” Sam looked to Dean.

“Are you ready?” Dean lifted his brows to Sam with caution in his voice.

At that moment you heard a muffled sound, coming from the library. It sounded like someone was dying. You had asked what that was, to which no one knew an answer. The four of you walked out to the library only to see Gabriel and Rowena in a position no one should ever see.

“I’m going to be sick,” you grimaced.

“Hey, so, um yeah. You ready?” Gabriel smiled as he put on his pants.

“Seriously?” You snarked. “You couldn’t wait or go to the bedroom?”

“All of you were taking so long,” he tried to justify his actions. “Plus, you can't stop this kitten.”

“Gross.”

“Let’s go,” Dean commanded as he rolled his eyes.

“Hey,” you placed your hand on his chest. “Be safe okay?”

He leaned in to give you a warm, soft kiss. As he pulled away he told you that they would be right back. You knew they would, but the shutter of doom still rolled off your body because you knew who they’d be back with.

____

“Okay, so the plan one more time- Sam. Hey, Sam.”

Sam shook himself out of his thoughts as he looked over to Dean giving him a furrowed look.

“You good?“

“Yeah,” he lied. His stomach was in knots. He wanted to vomit everywhere just thinking of what was happening next.

As his brother continued on with the plan, he kept his head nodding in agreement to it. What choice did he have? This was it. No options. He just kept hoping that Y/N was right that at the end of it, someway, somehow, Lucifer was going to be gone once and for all.

_____

You did your best to set up everything that was needed as you waited for them. Laying out all the ingredients Rowena had instructed in a meticulous order, you looked back at it with a smile. If you couldn’t go with them to the dark unknown, this was at least you could do.

You heard your phone chime with a message. Pulling it out of your pocket you sat down as the message laid across the screen.

haven’t seen you in the office lately. Hope your boy toy isn’t doing anything stupid. ~Nat.

You rolled your eyes to her message. The IT demon who apparently wanted, or more expected you to check in. Your fingers glided across the screen, sending your message back.

Busy with lecture prep. Figured it would be better for everyone if I just did it at home.

Only a moment after clicking send, another chime arrived. You breathed out deep as you looked at your phone again.

Lebanon is home now I see. Don’t forget your deal.

I haven’t.

You dropped your phone down to the table as you decided that maybe you could do more prep for your classes. It was busy work, but that was what you needed as your nerves tensed up. They had been gone a while. They should be back soon.

After a couple edits and getting lost going through old YouTube videos you heard your phone chim again. You sighed out in annoyance, thinking that she wasn’t just leaving you alone, but your heart stopped as you saw the message.

We have him. Is everything ready? ~ Sam

All set.

We will be there in 10. ~Sam

For a moment you had forgotten to breathe. You had to remind yourself to exhale and inhale again. This was it. They were going to go over there for sure.

A little after 10 minutes you watched as Dean and Sam dragged a blonde man in. He had Piercing blue eyes that penetrated your soul, his light was as bright as Gabriel’s, but yet filled with so much darkness.

“Lucifer,” the words escaped your lips in a whisper.

“Ready?” Dean asked Rowena as she quickly put together the ingredients of the spell.

“Almost,” she stated.

You didn’t move. You couldn’t even make yourself move. His mouth was gagged, but his eyes spoke a million words as he stared at you.

“You good?” You heard Sam ask as he carried his and Dean’s bags into the room from behind you.

“Yeah,” you muttered out, looking at him. He was scared. They all were. Not one glimmer of hope amongst them. This was wrong. Something wrong was going to happen.

“Here,” Sam handed you an angel blade. “You may need this.”

“Thanks,” you responded as you grabbed it.

“It’s ready,” Rowena spoke, her words sounding more like the call of doom than anything.

You watched as they all walked over to the center of the room. Dean slung his back back on his shoulder as Sam fastened his own.

“Hey,” you called out, making them turn to you. “Give them hell and come back alive,” you said with as much confidence as you could muster.

They all nodded to you as they turned back around, Dean giving you a slight smile before. Rowena moved to Lucifer, slicing his throat open with her blade. You watched as his grace trickled down into the gauntlet. With a few words a bright portal opened in front of your eyes. They didn’t hesitate. One by one they all walked through leaving you alone now with not only a witch, but the devil himself.

______

“So why didn’t you say goodbye?” Sam looked over to his brother, awaiting his response as they trudged through the dirt path, on their way to the survivor camp.

“Because it isn’t goodbye Sam,” Dean continued to look forward as he walked. “I’ll see her again soon.”

“You don’t have to act like such a tough guy Dean,” Sam shook his head with a smirk. “It’s alright to like her and act like it.”

“Shut up,” Dean stifled his chuckle. “Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

“So how long do you suppose it will be until dark?” Dean turned his head to the sky.

“10, 12 hours by the way the sun looks. That is, if it’s like ours.”

“Here’s to hoping,” Dean fixed the bag on his shoulder again.

“So what do you think mom is going to say?” Sam spoke up again after a few minutes.

“About?”

“About us being here. About Y/N.”

“Well if she says anything but thank you, not going to lie I may be a little salty,” Dean glanced back to Cas and Grabiel talking amongst themselves and turned his head back to the road. “As for Y/N, I hope to god she doesn’t say anything crazy like we’re cousins.”

“We’ve had crazier stuff happen,” Sam chuckled lowly.

“Like what?” Dean gave him a scrunched up face.

“Anything involving a certain someone back there,” Sam motioned with his thumb behind him to Gabriel.

“Still hard to believe that he was behind a lot of this,” Dean gave another quick glance behind him. “Who would have thought, he actually cares about something other than himself.”

“Every day is a new surprise,” Sam shook his head. “That’s just our life, Dean. Never a dull moment. But what we do, we keep going. No stopping. Eventually, it all works out in the end.”

“Well just keep your head in the game there Sammy,” Dean’s gaze looked into the woods along the trail. “We’re in uncharted territory full of spooky shit and angels who are out to murder people just for breathing. Anything can happen and I don’t like surprises.”

_______

For the last three hours you prayed for silence. Lucifer was relentless in humming the muffled version of “it’s a small world.” You tried to just ignore him like your companion. She didn’t seem to mind, but with all that hair on her head, you wondered if she had placed ear plugs in when you weren’t looking.

“Fuck,” you rasped out. “I can’t take this.”

“You never had children did you dearie?” She looked up from her book with a smirk.

“Definitely not,” you glared at her. “How can you stand this?”

“In about an hour's time, I get to slit his throat once more for the spell to make sure it stays open,” she grinned. “That knowledge helps.”

“Well I need a fucking beer or something,” you groaned as you stood up. “Are you alright here for a minute?”

“I’m fine dear.”

You walked out to the kitchen, pulling out a beer from the fridge. After twisting off the cap, you leaned against the counter, lifting it to your mouth to take in a deep sip. It’s only been three hours. How the hell were you going to last more than a day?

You stood in silence, there was an echo in the halls of Lucifer now switching it up to the fucking song from Lamb chop, a kids show that you wished you could forget. The show always played whenever you had to go to see the doctor, only to realize later that it was a psychiatrist that your mother had sent you to for many years. No wonder you grew up interested in it. You spent so many of your years being analyzed, of course you would grow to analyze everyone else. That’s when it hit you. How would he know what the song would do to you? Could he read your thoughts? Fuck.

You walked back out and without thinking smacked him hard against his head.

“Shut up now or I’ll make you,” you warned.

He looked at you, the creases in his eyes turning to satisfaction. He had gotten under your skin. That’s what he wanted. Dammit Dean. Get back now so you could end this jerk.

_____

Dean’s heart was heavy. Sam. How could he have left him behind? How could he have let his brother down like that? Cas tried his best to console him, but it was no use. Sam was dead and there was no saving him.

“It’s not much further,” he heard his companions say.

He felt his feet grow heavy. He didn’t want to continue. He didn’t want to walk on. He was tired and defeated already. Without Sam, he was missing a piece of himself. A piece no one could ever replace. Cas must have seen what it was doing to him as he helped to guide Dean along with his hand on his back.

“We must continue,” he heard Cas speak.

Dean nodded as they walked on. Thinking of what Sam had said to him all those hours ago. ‘It’s what we do, we keep going. No stopping. Eventually, it all works out in the end.’ This was the end alright and Dean felt like he was walking it alone.

_____

“I have to use the loo,” Rowena stated as she stood up carefully from her seat. “Will you be alright?”

You had just arrived back in the room, after your mandatory power nap that was more of a lay awake and smelling Dean’s pillow session. You missed him more than you wanted to admit. Sixteen hours in. A million more to go. At least, that’s what it felt like until he would return. After giving her a nod, you sat down and watched the clock strike minute by minute, hoping that time could speed up.

You glanced over at Lucifer who was in the same position. At least he was kept at bay and the humming had stopped. You rubbed your hands across your face, attempting to wake yourself up more. It didn’t help. You were still stuck in this nightmare.

“I know what you are,” you heard a male voice say in an eerie tone that brought shivers down your spine.

You glanced up to see that Lucifer had managed to ungag himself. He was smirking at you, his eyes shining red for a moment.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t know about you there Y/N,” he commented. “You seem like my type of girl. Made just for me.”

“I said shut it!” You yelled again.

“How does it feel knowing what you are?” He continued. “Knowing what you are meant to become?”

“I swear if you don’t-“

“Shut up?” He raised his brow with his smirk rising. “I don’t think you really want me to. I think you’d rather hear about dear old grandpa and grandma. How were they chosen?”

“I already know dickwad,” you seethed. “Your pet, Abaddon.”

“They had strong blood coursing through them. Direct descendents from Cain himself. Now he knew how to make a deal.”

“Now you’re turning biblical? What’s next? You going to tell me that I’m related to Jesus or some shit?”

“Jesus was a carpenter,” he replied. “You come from a strong line of warriors. Ones that have always benefited my family.”

“Great and your point?” You snarked back.

“You were meant for so much more than playing babysitter. Just look at you. No wonder my brother kept you hidden from me. You're a beautiful creature, capable of tearing down God himself.”

“If I’m that powerful, you should probably try not to piss me off then,” you glared at him hard. “A body holds 1 ½ gallons of blood. I’m sure that’s around the same amount of grace you have in there. Don’t think that I won’t drain you so we can toss you back to the pit where you belong.”

“Is that a promise?” His eyes twinkled as he looked at you.

“You’re trying to distract me,” you realized. “Find out what makes me tick. It’s not going to work. You aren’t going anywhere. And when this is done, I will kill you myself.”

“Why would you want to do that when I can give you what you want?”

“And what do I want?” You sighed out in annoyance.

“You’re family back,” he simply replied.

“I have all the family I need,” you shook your head, your brows scrunching down. “I have Dean, Sam...”

“Your mother?” His words made your heart skip. “I can see what you truly want. Dear old mommy back, along with your father. Both of them. The one you knew and the one you never had a chance to meet. I can bring them all back.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not just some regular Joe angel,” he quipped. “I can do things that you couldn’t even imagine, including bringing back people from the deepest parts of heaven or hell.”

You felt a knot growing in your stomach. Could he really do that? Could he bring them back? How? Gabriel never told you an archangel could do that, but then of course, why would he? What is dead should stay dead. But your mom and your dad, what you wouldn’t give to feel their arms wrapped around you again. And Bobby, the man you never knew. To be able to talk to him, tell him all about yourself and learn who he was truly beyond the stories of everyone’s memory. You started to contemplate what Lucifer was suggesting. No. You couldn’t. It’s not right.

“Is everything alright in here?” Rowena’s voice shook you out of your thoughts.

“Fine”, you replied quickly, standing up at the same time. “I need to go for a run for a bit. Get some things. Will you be alright?”

“Yes,” she stated, looking at Lucifer with suspicion. “It’s about time again for another cut.”

You didn’t bother to respond as you collected your things and made your way to Dean’s room to grab your keys. You needed fresh air. You needed to leave here. It was the only way to get it off of your mind.

Sliding into your car you laid your head back in the seat. Tears followed through your eyes almost in an instance as the door shut. Dammit. This was too much. They were taking too long. Why weren’t they back yet?

You brought your baby to life and pulled out of the garage. The wind whipping through your hair as you drive along, the radio playing a familiar tune. Home. This felt like home again. Away from the chaos and turmoil. The road, your baby, and you. No place like it.

______

“You know without my brother at full strength, your boys won’t stand a chance against Michael.”

Rowena let out an annoyed sigh to Lucifer’s continuous warnings.

“I mean, I’ve been over there. It’s not very pleasant. And Michael, this world's Michael, was nothing compared to that one. He’s ruthless. He makes me look like a Boy Scout.”

Rowena continued to ignore him, but he didn’t give up. She glanced at the clock. It had only been about five minutes since Y/N had left. Poor dear. She had heard what Lucifer was promising her. She knew how much it hurt to lose someone that was a part of you. Only weeks ago she had tried herself to regain her son, a task that had failed miserably.

“But who am I to say what will happen, ya know?” He continued. “It’s not like I’m an expert on killing powerful creatures or anything. Like your son. He went down quick, like a slice of butter.”

“Attempting to bring up my son will do you no good,” she warned. “I’m not afraid of you. I know my death and it’s not by your hand.”

“Oh really?” He smirked. “Let me guess, plague? A little too much eye of newt in your cauldron?”

“Sam Winchester will be the one to end me,” you glared at him. “And you are no Sam Winchester. You only wish that you could be him.”

“You forget,” his smirk widened. “I was him once. He had said yes. And if given the right circumstances, he would say yes again. Your prophecy may be correct, but who’s to say that it will be Sam holding the cards?”

“You keep going on about all the power that you hold, but who was the one that was found lost and cowering away? No one wants you around, not even your son. You speak of my son as though he was weak, but who stood up to you? Hmm? Who stood to protect those he cares about even when he knew he would not win? You talk about power. Family is power. And that, my dear Lucifer is one thing you will never have. No one cares about you or will cry when you are gone.”

Lucifer’s eyes glowed intensely with red. In an instance he had managed to move from his spot and rush his hand across Rowena's throat, threatening her life. In a desperate act of survival she pushed him away, only for him to disappear in the rift.

“Bollocks,” she seethed as she grasped the edge of the table to stabilize herself. She looked over to the gauntlet, it still had grace inside of it. But how much longer would it last? Did she just send them all to their death?

“Bollocks.”

_____

You laid out on the hood of your car. You were in the same spot that Dean had taken you just the night before. You watched the sun go down slowly and the birds hide within the outstretched branches of the trees above you to nestle with their family. Why did it feel so awkward being alone again? This was what you were used to. Just you and your car, taking on the word mile by mile. Now it felt more like you were stranded, unknowing what the next day, hour, or minute might bring.

You picked up your phone, to check if there had been some sort of message sent. With a bare screen, you checked to see if you had reception. Full bars and not one new notification to be found. Was this going to be the rest of your life? Waiting around for someone to tell you that everything was okay? You sat it down besides you and rested your head down on the windshield with your arm hooked behind your neck. Whatever tomorrow brings, at least you got to watch the sunset one more time.

______

“We got to get out of here, now,” Dean growled as he darted his eyes to Lucifer standing in the distance. “Without him.”

“Dean,” Mary places her hand on his chest to soothe him. “He saved Sam and Michael is out there. We need him.”

“Mom’s right,” Sam breathed out heavy. “We can't piss him off now. We have to keep moving, but if Michael shows up, we are all dead.”

Dean growled lowly to the thought of Lucifer joining them. He had saved Sam, yes. But at what cost? What did he want?

“We will take care of him later Dean,” Sam whispered so only the three of them could hear. “Just like our plan. Y/N can help.”

“Y/N?” Mary’s brows squished together.

“Y/M/N’s daughter, mom,” Sam informed her. “She found us.”

“Y/M/N? Is she with her?” Her voice broke as she spoke.

“I’m sorry mom,” Dean shook his head. “She died while you’ve been here. Y/N, well, Y/N was looking for her father, Bobby.”

“Bobby Singer?” Mary asked softly.

“You knew?” Dean furrowed his eyes.

“We knew him growing up, but I didn’t know that was her father,” Mary sighed. “Y/M/N would never tell me who it was, just that it was something she had to keep a secret.”

“Why? Why keep her a secret? Especially from Bobby?”

“Because of her past and well…,” Mary’s eyes gazed over towards the alternate reality Bobby as she spoke. “Because Bobby, our Bobby had it bad as a kid. He swore he would never have any.”

“Yeah well he got a bouncing baby badass,” Dean let out a breathy chuckle.

“What do you mean?” Mary looked up to Dean.

“The family curse,” he glanced around to make sure no one was listening. “Y/N got it. She’s amazing, mom. She…”

“You love her don’t you?” Mary smirked.

“That’s to say the least,” Sam smiled and playfully shoved at his brother.

“Yeah, well let’s get moving,” Dean cleared his throat. “I’d like to get back to her. I don’t believe for one second Lucifer didn’t harm her. There was no way he got over here without a fight.”

“So what’s the plan?” Dean heard Cas from behind him, Jack in toe.

“Get the hell out of this world and go see my girl,” Dean stated as calmly as he could. Was Y/N alright? Did Lucifer tell the truth by saying that she was alright? Couldn’t be. If she wasn’t hurt, knowing her, she’d be right behind him trying to stop him. The thought made his stomach sick. Y/N alone in the apocalypse world, fighting against the evil that lurked. And Michael. If Michael found her he’d lose her for sure. No, they had to get moving. Time was running out.

“Hey Bobby, what can you tell me about that bus?”

______

“Rowena, I’m back, ” you shouted as you entered the library only to discover she was alone and panicking. ”What the hell?”

”He escaped, I tried to stop him-”

”The rift, it's going to close!” you shouted back as you ran to it. ”Dean, Sam. I have to go find them.”

”I need your help.”

”How?” you breathed out. ”What can I do.”

”Your blood seems to keep it moving, but not for long, ” your eyes furrowed to her. You caught a glimpse of the empty vial next to her. ”I need more.”

Without hesitation you grabbed at a knife besides her and cut your wrist open sideways, dripping it inside the gauntlet. The rift grew brighter.

”Where is he?” your voice trembled, fearing the worst.

”In there, ” her eyes moved to the rift. ”With them.”

”I have to warn them!” you went to move towards it but her shout stopped you in your tracks.

”Stop! They can't come back without you being here! I need you here to keep it open.”

”But Lucifer-”

”They will be fine. He just wants his son. They'll return, but I need you here, ” she warned you.

”Fuck!” you seethed. ”How long has it been?”

”About two hours.”

”If that rift starts to fade and this doesn't work I am going in, ” you shot her back a hard look.

” Let's pray that doesn't happen.”

_____

“We’re getting close now,” Dean stated to his comrades as his eyes scanned the area.

“Everyone needs to be ready,” Sam informed everyone as he readjusted the knife on his thigh.

“What-“ stammered a girl to his left. “What is on the other side?”

“Our home,” Sam replied with a comforting smile. “Our friend Y/N is there waiting for you. She will protect you. Just listen to her.”

“And him?” Bobby nodded to Lucifer driving the bus.

“Once everyone is through, I will take care of him,” Sam’s eyes stayed on him.

——-

Rowena was continuously reciting her spell as you sliced into your palm, allowing the blood to drip down into the gauntlet. The rift was open, but it was getting weaker.

“Hurry Dean,” you said to yourself before turning to Rowena. “It’s not working! I have to go in.”

“Just wait!” She shouted back before continuing.

The seconds that passed seemed like hours until you watched as a person walked through, and then another. None of them being Dean or Sam. As the people continued crossing over you got up from your seat, frantic to know why they weren’t leading everyone in. It wasn’t until you saw a familiar, yet frightened, face that you knew something had to be going on.

“Mary,” you shouted to her attention. “Where are they?”

“Michael,” she gasped. “He’s there-“

You didn’t even let her finish her sentence before you sliced open your hand deeper for more blood to drop down to then quickly turn to the rift.

“I have to get them,” was all you said before you heard the cries to stop. It was too late though, you already crossed over.

The light, the sun trying to illuminate the grey sky blurred your vision as your feet hit the dead ground below you. There were people continuing to push past you to the rift. You stood tall calling out for Dean.

“Dean!”

“Y/N!” He yelled back as he rushed over to you.

“Get her out of here!” Gabriel yelled back with a look of pure fear. The look in his eyes was not one you had ever seen as the bright light approached him with a menacing grin. Michael.

“Go!” Dean yelled at you again, trying to push you to the rift.

“Not without everyone!” you snapped back, attempting to push your way past him. In the midst of your struggle you saw it; Michael stabbing Gabriel with his blade. The light leaving him forever.

“No!”

“Go!” Dean yelled again, pushing you back into the rift with full force. Your strength was no match at the moment for him. Dean had successfully pushed you back to the bunker amongst all the people running for their lives.

“Dean!” You called out as you scrambled to your feet.

A step away from the rift and you felt someone pulling back on your shoulder to stay. Looking back you saw blue eyes on an aging man’s face, desperately begging you to stay. A face you had only seen in pictures. The face of the man you had so desperately wanted to meet. The reason for all of this.

“Let me go Bobby!”

“No!” He barked as he continued to hold you. “Just wait!”

You listened to him. You don’t know why but you did. Tears flowing down as you watched lights enter one by one. Ketch. Cas. Charlie. You didn’t even realize you stopped breathing until you saw Dean’s light enter.

“Dean!” You pushed through to him, wrapping your arms around him tightly, smelling the musk of sweat, dirt, and blood.

“I told you I’d be back,” he responded as he held you closely.

“Where’s Sam?” You asked as you pulled away.

“Handling things,” he said as his eyes hit the rift.

“Dean-“ just at that moment Sam entered. Covered in the same mess as his brother. Beaten, but not defeated. You let go of Dean to wrap your arms around Sam. You didn’t even know what he had just done, but you could tell that a weight was lifted. His darkness was gone.

“We good?” Dean asked.

Sam looked behind him as the rift disappeared in a flash. With a smile he turned back to you and Dean.

“We’re good.”

_____

Dean watched as everyone talked to one another. A mixture of new and old faces of family. They were safe. They were home. He smiled as he watched Charlie and Y/N talk to one another. It appeared as though it did not matter that this Charlie was not theirs, she was still the same person that could make anyone smile with her nerd references that he was sure Y/N probably understood.

Bobby walked to the landing of the stairs, addressing his people that this was not the end of their journey, but a new adventure. When he lifted his glass to thank and welcome Dean and Sam to the family, Dean couldn’t help but smile. Family. He had all that he could ever want right here.

____

“Nice to see you again, Y/N,” Mary spoke behind you, making you turn to her with a smile.

“Mary,” you replied. “Glad to see you too.”

“Dean told me what had happened,” her smile faded and her light changed to sadness. “I’m so sorry.”

“You know, I want to be mad at her,” you replied while thinking of your mother and your life full of lies. “And Gabriel for that matter. But I can’t. Without them, protecting me, who knows what would have happened? I just wish…I wish that I could have met my father. My real one.”

“Well he may not be your real one,” her eyes glanced towards Bobby. “But I can say that they have the same spirit.”

“I don’t even know what to say. I’ve rehearsed it in my mind so many times, but yet, nothing I can think of seems right.”

“Try hello first,” she warmly smiled back. “And although we aren’t blood, I’ve always considered your mother to be my sister. If there is anything I can do, perhaps talk about her life, I will.”

“Thank you Mary,” you softly replied before giving her a hug.

“Your family Y/N,” she whispered. “And perhaps one day, even my daughter.”

You pulled back from her slowly to see her smirk. Dean must have told her everything, including his feelings for you. It was at that moment that you felt something inside of you change. A warmth that felt like you have been put back together. You were whole. What you had been missing, you finally found. Family. Your true family.

_____

The warm water felt amazing on his skin. The droplets easing his stiff muscles, the steam clearing his mind. He was home. Home and safe, with her. He opened his eyes to see her standing across from him, naked with a smile. They didn’t even need to say words as he pulled her close to him, the water hitting both of them as she buried her head into his chest. This was home.

After cleaning each other, Dean and Y/N got dressed and went back out to the library where everyone still gathered eating a feast that was prepared. Smiling faces all chattering filled the once empty halls with life. This is what home feels like.

Y/N went to continue walking in, but Dean stopped her by pulling back on her wrist. She looked at him puzzled, but reluctantly moved back to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just enjoying the moment.”

“Well come on,” she laughed. “Let's join them.”

“Not yet,” he sighed with nervousness. “There’s something I need to do.”

“Which is?” Her brow raised with her question. Dean smiled at her irritation while she patiently waited. That attitude of hers that matched his own.

“Spend forever with you,” he said as he pulled out the silver ring that was once his mothers that he wore for many years for protection. Her eyes widened as she realized what he was proposing.

“Forever?” Her eyes lit up with her words.

“You’re already a Winchester,” he smiled. “How about we make it official?”

Keep reading to final chapter :-)

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[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter two: Rebellion

Din Djarin x Reader x Cassian Andor

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter warnings: some brief angst, this ones pretty mellow ngl

Words: 3.3k

A/n: i was not expecting such a good response from the first chapter but bruh you guys are amazing- anyway here's part two of my brain's misery

Part 2/?

The trip from Mandalore to the planet of Dantooine was long, and still ongoing. We all took turns, watching to see if we were any closer. After each jump from hyperspace, the transport would stop at a space refueling tank, before slowly going onward toward the destination. We must have been traveling several systems across the galaxy. We had a few laughs, mainly while watching Gander try and steal Shyloh's food from his knapsack while he was sleeping. Most of the other time we all just sat in silence, up until this point.

"What do you think we're all going to do once we get to the rebel base?" Merc raised his voice slightly, barely capturing our attentions as we had all been dozing off, and Shyloh was taking watch at the view point.

"What do you mean?" I had asked, not quite sure of what he was getting at. I sat up straighter against the wall, showing my interest in the newfound conversation.

"What branch do you think you'll end up in?" He was in a daze as he spoke, almost unsure of his intentions of bringing it up. His dark eyes were nearly emotionless under his furrowed brow.

"I hadn't really thought about it. I would say maybe something like mechanics," I said, thinking of the best possible use of my talents. I'm sure there's plenty of mechanical help already assisting the rebels, but with the galactic empire growing it's forces by the day, they needed all the help they could get.

"What about flying?" Shyloh perked up from his seat at the window.

"What about it?" I asked, curious as to why he suddenly thought of the new topic.

"You could do it of you wanted to. Be a pilot, I mean. You have the skills," He told me, but I scoffed. He wasn't in any way shape or form was making an ounce of sense at all.

"Speeder control races are a bit different from piloting fighters against the imperial troops don't you think?" I laughed at the idea, but he rolled his eyes, persistent with his opinion.

"It's less different than you think it is. Also mind you, I never saw you lose a race," He objected, but I wasn't having any of it.

"That's because when I raced, my own credits were on the line," I joked, seeing what he would try and come up with next, only to be met with a cold hard stare, before an answer that would shake me to my core.

"Well, now the freedom of the galaxy is on the line."

My smile dropped from my face and I turned to face the other two, who were looking back at me. They didn't expect that answer either. Shyloh was well known to be a boy of few words, and only really spoke to his friends and family. He was a founding just like the rest of them, but he had been with ths clan longer, due to having been saved from a war infested home as a baby.

He could sometimes be very wise, even if he didn't think he was being so. We weren't sure what it was, but he had this sort of presense that was so powerful. We knew when he would walk in a room, or walk out of it. It's like the air would change. Much like it changed now, with his words rendering us all speechless.

The silence was uncomfortable, and I was the one who left it unresloved, so I spoke up in favor of my crewmates to not keep quiet any longer.

"Perhaps I shall see where I am needed first."

"Perhaps you shouldn't be so afraid to explore an option you would excel in," He again rendered me speechless, and I did not have anything else to say this time. I was young, but my mind was not. I could comprehend thoughts the same way that an adult could. I could handle things just as well and if not better than some, too. He was right. I was simply afraid.

"I think we're finally here," Shyloh said, turning back to look out of the view port again.

"Its about time," Gander stood up, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and standing at the transport door waiting for it to slide up.

We all followed suit, but Shyloh stopped us and held up a warning finger to stay still.

"There's manding droids, we gotta sneak off carefully. They don't look like bulk but they could be armed," He suggested. We were not yet at the rebel base, meaning these were probably droids of the land, and belonged to whoever oversees the exports on this planet.

When the panel opened, we were all careful to first peek out of the transport. This planet was nothing at all like Mandalore, which was dry and hot. This planet was lush with plants. And the air was slightly humid. It was a very welcome contrast from where I spent most of my life.

We all sneakily bolted out of the transport, ducking down behind one of the cargo units placed outside. We saw an opening in what looked like some sort of forrest patch.

There was a chill in the air on this planet, even in the middle of the day. Mandalore only ever got colder at night, when the sun was down and the moons were shining.

"That was close." Merc mumbled as we began to turn around and head into the grasslands, trying to find the rebel base.

We made sure no one was behind us, and were careful to check if any droids had caught sight of us.

We all went to turn around, but as soon as I did, I collided with someone's chest, rather hard might I add, sending me to the ground on my bottom. I didn't even collide that hard with the person, it was just the shock that sent me backwards.

"Need a hand?" I looked up to see a man, a sly smirk on his face as he held his hand out towards me. I took it without question, heaving myself up from the grassy, and somewhat muddy ground beneath me.

"You must be our contact," Merc smiled, and the man nodded, turning and begining to lead us to a speader that was hovering nearby behind a large set of trees.

"We must be careful not to use names outside of the base. I would be more than happy to formally introduce myself once we reach our final destination," He chuckled. It was only now that I realized he had an accent, a thick one. Probably left over from his native tongue that spilled out his mouth when he spoke galactic basic.

I know that sometimes my accent slips in when i speak. I never had to worry about using Mando'a around my fellow crewmates. They were foundlings, and hadn't been raised to speak it. Shyloh was, but he prefered to use galactic basic anyways because he had forgotten so much of it.

We all boarded the speader, Gander and I sitting on the back, our legs hanging off as we held onto the side bars.

"This might be a bumpy ride for you two," The man said, looking at both of us before giving me a wink. I scrunched my face up, not sure how else to react to it. The man was definitely on the younger side, but I wasn't sure how he could possibly see an interest in me.

Maybe he did and I just didn't want him to. Maybe I was still hinged to the idea that I would go back to Mandalore someday and marry my betrothed. I was so young, and hadn't the slightest idea of what feelings I could possibly be harboring, if any at all.

I couldn't deny I found him appealing. Anyone would, at least any human with eyes that is.

His hair was dark, and so were his eyes. He had a bit of stubble along his jaw and above his lip. He was somewhat scruffy looking, but in a good way.

As the speeder went through the forresty stretch of pathway, I kept turning around to catch a glimpse of him. Each time I did I had to look away fast because Gander would give me weird stares.

I would play it off like I was simply taking in the view of the green planet around me, and he wouldn't seem to notice.

After a while, with quite a few twists and turns, and Gander and I nearly falling off the speeder twice, we arrived to our destination.

We all hopped out of the transport, following the man into a giant cargo port. As soon as I looked to my left I could see an X-wing fighter in all it's glory. I had never seen a real one before, just heard stories and viewed holograms.

"Alright. We have about twelve other recruits arriving on this base today, so you will all be attending orientation this evening. As for right now, you look beat, and should rest. PX-74 will assign you to your bunks," He said, gesturing to the droid before beginning to walk away with a nod, but I stopped him before he could take a step.

"Wait a minute... I believe I recall something about a formal introduction," I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight, trying to give off the look of having as much confidence as I could muster. I was putting on a facade, possibly to make me seem more mature. I didn't know the real reason.

He smirked, raising an eyebrow as he scanned me up and down with his dark eyes.

"Cassian Andor," He smiled, then looking right back at me with questioning eyes. "And how about you... you got a name?"

"Y/n from clan Maldrix," I said, my confidence wavering a little when he looked at me the way that he did.

"She's a Mandalorian," Shyloh perked up, and I sent him a warning glare.

"Yeah, sixth generation," Merc added, his cocky smile pasted on his face for all to see and be annoyed by.

"A mandalorian? I've heard the stories but I haven't ever met one. Are you-?"

"I'm not," I cut him off before this got twisted into one big lie. "My mother and father are."

"Doesn't that make you one too?" Cassian furrowed his brow but his tone was somewhat joking and humorous.

"No, it does not," I wasn't harsh with the way my voice came out, but I was firm. Though I wasn't one of them, the mandalorians and all they stood for were very important to me.

"Mandalorian is not a race, it's a creed. Some of the best Mandalorians I ever had the pleasure of knowing didn't even have a bloodline from Mandalore. They were foundlings, like these three," I explained, laying out the facts so that there was no longer any confusion lingering, but now there was a tension that was thicker than the trees on this planet.

"Even still, she can fight just as good as any soldier taken the creed," Merc jumped in, trying to clear the air, and thankfully, it seemed to be working.

"She flies even better," Shyloh mentioned, and I swore I could kill him. He was just so pushy sometimes, even with his massive sense of wisdom.

"You fly?" This peaked Andor's interest, and immediately he seemed more engaged towards me.

"I'm not as good as they say I am," I admitted, but he shook his head.

"No, really... if you can fly we could really use you. We're putting together a team for an air raid that's set to happen about one month's time from now," He came up closer to me and stared me in the eye.

"I'm just a kid, I might really let you down," I joked, trying not to get too caught up in his eye contact. His eyes were much darker when you could see them closely.

"I tell you what, I can arrange for you to have time in the flight simulator after orientation. If we feel you would be an asset, we can add you to the strike team," He said, nodding along to his words. I understood that they might need backup, and if push came to shove, I could maneuver faster than any pilot back on Mandalore. I never lost a race, nor did I ever lose a bet.

"Okay."

I could tell I was blushing from the extra attention I was receiving. I wasn't so sure what about me was so enticing that I deserved it.

"I have to go now to pick up the other recruits from a drop station. I leave you in the capable hands of PX-74," He said, returning to his speeder and letting us be lead off into the base.

"There are only so many open bunks left. Two of you will share one, and the other two will be placed with bunk mates." The metalized voice of the PX unit was strong in our ears, and we all followed after him as we ventured into the long hallway at the end of the cargo port.

The droid stopped at a door about midway through the hall and opened it using the side panel on the wall, revealing a young man that seemed almost younger than me even.

"One of you will be staying here. Which will it be?" The droid asked, turning towards our small group.

"I'll take this one," Shyloh said, stepping forward into the bunk to meet his new roomate.

The boy looked a bit frightened at first, but because of Shyloh's powerful yet calming energy, he seemed to relax almost immediately.

He turned and smiled back at us, waving before the IG unit closed the door and kept us going.

He walked us down passed several more doors, maybe more than twenty, before he stopped at another one and opened it up.

Inside sat a young woman, her legs crossed as she sharpened a knife with a smirk on her face. She looked up and made eye contact with me first.

"I wondered how long it would be before they got someone else in here." Her voice was somewhat low and raspy, but it was kind of soothing in a way.

"One of you-" the IG unit began again, but I stopped him, stepping into the bunk with the girl inside.

"I'll take this one." I smiled at the two boys left before the door closed on my new bunk.

I moved to set my knapsack down on the bottom bunk, but my roomate stopped me.

"Bottom one's mine." She said, looking up from her sharpened knife again to inform me of the sleeping arrangements.

I instead threw my knapsack on the top bunk, trying to climb up into it, but failing miserably.

"You need a hand?" She chuckled, watching my lame attempts to swing my leg up high enough. The fact that there was no ladder should have tipped me off.

"I'll be okay, thanks," I laughed, keeping my attitude loose and positive, though this bunk bed was already causing unnecessary problems for me.

"If you say so," She chuckled again, seeing as I finally managed to haul myself up and onto the bed.

"First try," I joked, and she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. I think that we would be getting along, because no one ever laughed at my lame sense of humor.

I laid back, resting my arms behind my head and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"So, where are you from?" She piped up, not taking her eyes away from her previous knife. That thing must mean a lot to her.

"Mandalore," I let out, trying to get comfortable on this lumpy pad that was under my head.

"Actually?" She seemed surprised. Everyone had heard of the planet that the mandalorian tribes had resided upon, and usually they understood what kind of people the place would breed.

"Yeah. Left just in time. Tomorrow's my birthday," I shut my eyes continuing our converastion with one less sense. It didn't matter, though. I was still fully awake.

"What would you have had to do?" She pondered curiously, finally looking up towards the bunk in interest.

"Well, to put it short... tomorrow I would have had to swear my freedom away. No living being would ever be able to see my face again till the day I died," I laid it out plain and simple, and she seemed to understand.

"How old are you?" She asked, her trail of questions getting longer and longer.

"Sixteen tomorrow," I answered, feeling a bit more tired now that my eyes had been closed, and the lights in the bunk rooms were dim.

"You're just a baby," She scoffed. "How could they possibly expect you to make that choice so young?"

"It's just the way it's always been there. This is the way," I remembered. Those words used to be said to me nearly ten times a day, and now they only rung in my mind as a memory.

"That's insane. The people on your planet must be crazy to take an oath like that," She muttered.

"You would think so... the strangest part about it is that there are kids brought back as foundlings that take the creed without hesitation. They don't even belong to a bloodline, they just feel as though they have right to the creed as much as anyone else," I silently remembered Din for a moment. He was the bravest, strongest, most loyal Mandalorian I'd ever known. A foundling.

I began to get bitter at the thought of leaving him. He could have made things better for me if I had just given him a chance. I had to let my head get in the way. I needed to think about something else.

"What about you, huh? Where you from?" I asked, changing the subject as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"Alderaan. Born and raised," She said, getting up from the floor and dropping herself on the bottom bunk.

"You been a lot of places since then?" I asked, but she first let out a heavy sigh before speaking.

"Only too many to count," She said, settling herself on the bunk like I had done.

"Must be nice..." I muttered. Finally able to relax on this pathetic excuse for a bed pad. Of course I couldn't complain. I'm the one who chose the life of the rebellion, including their miserable bedding. "I've never been anywhere outside my home planet until now. I haven't even seen the entirety of my own planet."

"Most new comers are the same. They haven't been anywhere else, then they come here and its like we're moving non stop. Base to base, on just about every planet in this galaxy," She reassured. At least now I didn't feel so out of place.

"How long have you been stationed here?" I asked, unsure of how long I would get to adjust to things.

"A few months. It's likely we'll have to leave soon. There's rumors of the imperials knowing our location," She answered, rolling her eyes, thought I couldn't see from the top bunk.

"You're kidding," I scoffed. After just getting here, I might have to up and leave again. I'll have to learn to accept this new life, it's what I wanted.

"I wish I was, kid," She added.

"I have a name," I retorted back, not a fan of the nickname 'kid'. I waited for her to ask me what it was, but when she stayed silent I sighed. "It's Y/n."

"I'll call you what you are... now get some rest, they'll come pounding on that door in a few hours for orientation," She said, as though she somehow had grown to a habit of mothering me only five minutes after we met. I dropped the conversation and drifted off to sleep, my eyes were too heavy to keep open anymore anyway.

.

.

Tags open

A/n: okay so like i wrote this a while before everything with gina carano happened and i do not in any way condone her whatsoever so let's pretend she's been recast already...

[marblesphere]

I want happy ending😂, so I continued the one shot. The first part is on the link above this.

Xiao x reader part 2

*3rd Pov*

He finally found her, right in the middle of a flower patch. Xiao drops his spear. He quickly cradles [Your Name]'s body. Warmth quickly slipped away from her body. For the first time after the Archon's war he felt fear again. Lifting her, he quickly rushes back to the inn.

Verr Goldet quickly called for a doctor the moment Xiao showed up with badly injured [Your Name]. After putting her in the care of Verr Goldet. Xiao wastes no time to visit Zhongli. His Archon must have some kind of way to cure [Your Name].

The doctor shook his head, Verr Goldet clamps her mouth, his husband quickly catches her and lets her sit down in a chair.

"...You should clean her up and… we'll wait for Lord Xiao." Huai'an said.

"...How? Why? She is still so young…" Verr cried.

All Huai'an could do was comfort her without a word. After collecting herself, Verr cleaned up [Your Name]. She prays that Xiao will bring whoever that can cure her.

Not long after she finished, Xiao came back with Zhongli in tow. Zhongli takes a look at [Your Name] and shakes his head. Xiao is shaken. His whole body is trembling. Slowly he walks to the bed, caressing her cheek, his thumb swipes the part under her eyes and then her lips. How strange, she looks like she is just sleeping peacefully.

Once again, his karmic debt stole someone precious to him. He really can't take it anymore. The angry voices of his karmic debt are getting stronger and louder. Even though it was less painful when [Your Name] stayed by his side. "Foolish mortal…" He pressed his lips to her cold one as a tear slipped down from his eye.

"Wait.." something caught Zhongli's eyes. "Xiao, did you ever give something to her?" The Geo Archon asked.

"...I gave her an amulet and trinkets made from sage skill, to keep malicious intent away…" Xiao answered.

A small glowing light finally caught their attention. "...This is… the amulet I gave to her last year." Xiao said.

"...There is a way to save her now."

Xiao snaps his eyes to his Archon. His being is full of hope.

"...We need to turn her into an adeptus. She is not dead yet. Her soul hasn't completely left her body. But even so, the chance is small." Zhongli spoke out.

'Turn her to an adeptus and let her suffer from that very own immortality?!' His mind is reeling. Part of him doesn't want to turn her into an adeptus. Being an adeptus and attaining immortality is not as enjoyable as those foolish mortals thought to be. But another part of him doesn't want her to die.

"...Is there no other way?" Xiao finally uttered out.

"No. This is the only way. We also need to hurry. Right now part of her soul is inside that amulet. You subconsciously put a small piece of your soul there. That amulet is anchoring her soul. But this won't last long. We need to call for the other adepti to help if we are going to turn her into one." Zhongli said.

"....Understood." Xiao gritted his teeth. Even if after [Your Name] woke up and hated him for it. So be it. It's his fault in the first place, he shouldn't have softened up to her and rejected her from the start. It's all his fault that [Your Name] is in this condition.

Usually when someone is going to be an Adeptus, they will need to take a trial of earth and heaven. But there is another way to turn to an Adeptus without taking the trial. Of course the risk is way higher than the trial. You need to directly take some blood and a lot of energy from an Adeptus. It needs to be pure Adeptus, that's why Yanfei and Ganyu won't cut it. The most important factor is, the blood of the Adeptus has to be compatible with the human or the human will definitely die. Humans can't stand the power of adeptal energy, so they need the blood of an adeptus to mix in their body. With mixed blood, hopefully they can withstand it.

Xiao has called all available pure adepti. After listening to this side of their story. Most of them won't agree to this risky method. Not only the receiver will be damaged even the giver would be too. And there's also the blood compatibility thing.

"I will do it." Xiao said. "I will be the one to give her the blood and energy. All of you just need to give your energy to me. I will convert it to mine and transfer it to her. I will be the one to bear all the burden." Xiao said.

"Have you gone mad, Conqueror of Demon? You are sacrificing yourself to a mere mortal girl?!" Mountain Sharper ridiculed. Never in a million years will they hear the cold blooded Conqueror of Demon willingly sacrifice everything just for a single mortal girl.

"She is not a mere mortal." Xiao hissed.

"Indeed. What kind of mere mortal girl she is, if she can withstand the prolonged interaction with an adeptus." Zhongli chuckled. "And even managed to open the heart of the vigilant yaksha. Which even us adepti couldn't do in our lifetimes."

"...Indeed. From this aspect, she really is not qualified as a mere mortal girl." Cloud Retainer chuckled.

"...It's not like there's no human become an adeptus in the past. Rex Lapis has spoken. We just need to follow it…. And, I am curious how this will end?" Moon craver said.

"Hohoho...Of course it will turn out to be alright. [Your Name] is a gentle child. I am sure all of this will turn out to be alright. You have my full support, Conqueror of Demons." Granny Ping laughed.

The softly glowing amulet starts shining brightly, as if it has been listening to them. It suddenly broke and a glowing sphere entered [Your Name]'s body. Xiao quickly cradles her body to his. He can feel the warmth of the body now.

"Quick! The soul has returned to the body. It will leave soon if we don't do anything." Zhongli instructed.

Xiao bites his wrist, fresh blood quickly flows and drips down to the white mattress. He takes a gulp of his own blood and feeds it to her. After making sure [Your Name] gulped it down. He starts transferring his adeptal energy. [Your Name]'s body starts glowing as it is enveloped by Xiao's adeptal energy. It seems like they are compatible to each other. Granny Ping is the first one to support Xiao by giving him her energy. The rest followed soon.

*1st Pov*

"~~~♪ ~~~ ♪" I hummed the tune as I weaved the flower crown. The smell of Qingxin is really calming. Right now, I am in the middle of the Qingxin flower field, making a flower crown for Xiao. "Finished." I giggled.

"What are you making?" An amused voice of Xiao asked.

"Flower crown!" I exclaimed happily. "Here." I stretched out my hands. Xiao bends down and lets me put the crown on his head. "So pretty." I cooed.

"You are the lovely one." He caressed my cheek using his thumb and then put a crystalfly on my hair. He takes his seat beside me. I lean against him as he loops his hand around my shoulder and stroking my head gently. Just like this, the two of us in this world are the happiest. His skillful hand is really putting me to sleep. He seems to notice me dozing off. "Sleep." And I feel a feather light kiss on the crown of my forehead.

When I woke up. I am in Wangshu inn. The moon is already hanging on the curtain of the night sky. I see Xiao is just looking at the scenery from the balcony. "Xiao…" I called.

"You have awoken." His eyes softened. I join him in stargazing, cozily trapped in his arms. He rests his head on my shoulder.

"~~~♪ ~~~ ♪" I started humming that tune again.

"[Your Name]" He whispered softly.

"Hm?" I closed my eyes, just relishing the fact we are enjoying each other's presence.

"....You should wake up."

My whole body freezes. I turn to look at him. His gaze, full of tender loving and hint of sadness. Xiao tucks a strand of loose hair to my ear. "...Xiao...I…don't want to..." I shook my head.

"[Your Name]... You already know the truth of this world." He pressed my head against his chest. I didn't say anything. I don't want to say anything. "...I am waiting for you."

"...No...you are not…" I clenched my hand.

"I am. You just need to wake up and everything will be alright." He coaxed gently.

"Xiao… already has someone dear to him…. It's not...me." I mumbled.

"Silly mortal. You know that's not true." He chuckled, his chest rumbled, sending a pleasant feeling to me.

"It's true." I puffed my cheeks.

"It's not." He rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't jump to conclusions too quickly." He poked my forehead.

"I...I…But, I have investigated her. She is perfect. Everyone sings praise to her whenever I ask." I sulked.

"That's the problem."

"Problem?" I blinked.

"She is too perfect, almost abnormally so. There's no speck of dust on her. Even adepti are not as perfect as her." Xiao said.

"...Then, what did she do to them? She is just a normal girl. She didn't do anything extraordinary…" I blinked.

"That's why you have to wake up. I have a feeling, "I" know the reason."

"Why can't you just tell me right now?" I whined, shaking his sleeve like a brat.

"Because, if I did. You won't wake up anymore." He rolled his eyes. "Or, do you hate me now?" Xiao cupped my cheek, making me stare at his piercing gaze.

*poof* I blush at the close proximity and bury my face in his chest. "...Not fair…" I grumbled. "You know well I yearn for you. I could never hate you." My voice is muffled.

"I know. After all, this is the world you created." Xiao wrapped his hands around me. "I am but a piece of soul that slipped into the amulet. Go forth. "I" will answer everything you want to ask. Do not be afraid. "I" treasure you more than you know." His voice echoed as I felt a kiss on the crown on my head. The scenery faded, leaving me alone in the darkness.

"How do I wake up?!" I yelled.

""I" am calling for you." His voice faded.

A loud inhuman screech caught my attention. I turn my body. There, standing in front of me is a majestic gigantic bird. "...A phoenix…" I murmured.

The bird of an ancient legend. It's said to be able to reraise itself from the ashes of its predecessor. The majestic bird screeches one more time and lowers itself to me. As if beckoning me to come over. His golden eyes never leave mine. "...I see… It's you." My feet automatically walked toward it. I stretch out my hand and the bird leans its neck to me. I wrap my hands around it as its wings envelop me.

*3rd Pov*

3 days. It has been 3 days since the ritual. Zhongli has told him the ritual is a success. Right now, [Your Name] is only sleeping. As to why and when she will wake up. Not even the Geo Archon knows. All Xiao can do is wait. He never knew waiting was this painful. Not even when he was battling his karmic debt is this painful.

For the second time in his lifetime, he is glad he doesn't need to sleep. The first time is when he is having nightmares. Not needing sleep is quite a solution on its own. And right now, he can keep guarding her, without letting any detail be missed out. His hand on her. He is praying to whatever deity out there, just so she can open her eyes again.

"Adeptus Xiao…" A soft voice called. Xiao frowns when he hears that voice.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was cold without any emotion.

"I…" Yue Mei opened her mouth, but she couldn't say anything. Don't be so cold to me? She should have known what caused this.

"That charm won't work on me anymore." He growled. He really is holding back his anger. That mortal is still Liyue's citizen.

Her eyes widened at his claim. 'He knows.' She trembled. She finally realized how terrifying the vigilant yaksha is. But the previous image of him is still overlapping now. "I.. I love you.." She blurted out.

"You...love me…?" He turned to her, piercing gold eyes meeting trembling toffee colored doe eyes. "You used charm to bewitch me and have the guts to confess your false affection to me." He snarled as he took each step to her.

Yue Mei flinches and takes a step back each time he advances, until her back hits the wall. Xiao stops 4 steps away from her. He is disgusted, he doesn't even want to breathe the same air as her. Then he remembered his actions for the past one month. He groaned inwardly, he felt dirty. This girl is really a troublesome mortal.

"Disappear. Don't show yourself in front of me anymore." He turned his back to her. "You better dispose of that charm. It might work right now, but it won't work forever."

"Then… tell me. What should I do to obtain your love." She cried, collapsing on the floor.

"Nothing…" Xiao turned his back to her, walking back to the bed.

"What?"

"You didn't need to do anything. Because even if you sacrifice everything to me, I still won't look at you." Xiao continued to sit beside [Your Name], using his thumb to trace a circle on her hand.

"Please… don't leave me alone."

"You seems to still not waking up from your dream. The one you love," He quoted. " is the charmed version of me. You only need the nice version of me. Not me entirely."

"It's not true… I…"

*1st Pov*

"...Xiao…" I called softly, surprised at how hoarse my voice is. My mouth feels like I have eaten iron. So disgusting.

"[Your Name]" Xiao hugged me, though making sure not to be too tight. I can feel soreness all over my body. I notice the perfect girl on her knees crying from the corner of my eyes.

"Ummm…" 'Did I wake at the wrong timing? Great job [Your Name], you really have a knack for timing the bad timing.' "...Xiao… can I have water…?" I blinked.

"I will get it from Verr Goldet." He said as he disappeared in a breeze.

"....Um… Miss Yue Mei… are you okay…?" I asked tentatively. I mean having my love rival on the floor crying is not something I expect to see when I wake up. And I do know something is different about me. With those kinds of injuries, I should have never survived.

"...Tell me… why are you not afraid of vigilant yaksha?" She asked.

"...?" I titled my head not understanding her question. "Why should I be afraid of Xiao?" I blinked.

"He is not...as gentle as I imagined to be." She answered.

"If you are talking about how he scares people, then yep, Xiao is borderline rude actually. I mean, he didn't show up at all for the very first month after our meeting. Even though I kept waiting for him. But, Xiao is gentle. Because of his gentleness, that's why he put on a cold exterior. It's all to protect us." I smiled remembering the memory.

"...Do you love him that much? Even though he can kill you in a heartbeat?"

"Yes. I love him the most. If by chance he killed me, then there must be a reason. So, I will stay around as a ghost to find out then." I giggled.

"I will never hurt you." Xiao said as he appeared with a water pitcher and a glass. He hands me a glass of water.

"I know." I answered after I took a sip.

"If by chance, I will hurt you in the slightest… I would rather…"

"You can't kill yourself, okay. If you did. I will kill myself too. In a world without you is the same as death. I don't have anymore to lose in this world. If you are gone. I will follow you."

"You can't!!"

"I can. That's why you have to live." I said.

"You are impossible." He murmured.

"I know. You have told me a lot of times. You also said I am clumsy, an idiot, a foolish mortal, foolish child, snotty brat, stubborn human and…"

"Stop. You don't need to say anymore." He groaned. "You need to rest." He laid me down on the bed.

"Eh? But I…" I protested.

"Rest." He commanded.

"....yes…" I sulked.

The two of us realized there is still one more person in this room when we heard a giggle.

"I see… I finally understood the words that Adeptus told me." She wiped her tears. "Adeptus Xiao, I am sorry for my unsightly behavior." She bowed. "And this… I don't need it anymore. Please tell me how to dispose of this." A charm rested on her palm.

"Just burn it." He huffed.

"Understood. Then...ummm...Miss please get well soon." She smiled and then she exited the room.

"Xiao…" I looked at him.

"Rest."

"...I want to know how I am still alive." I said quietly.

"...I… will tell you tomorrow." He refused to look at me.

"Xiao…" I struggled to sit up. I cupped his cheeks using my hands. "No matter what you do. I am sure you have your reason. Please tell me. I won't hate you. In fact right now, I am grateful I am still alive and can see you." I smiled.

"I… turn you to adeptus…" He whispered, his golden eyes refusing to look at me.

"Adeptus? I thought humans have to take the trials of heaven and earth to become an adeptus." I blinked.

"You...were half dead when I brought you here." He said shakily as if the unpleasant memories surfaced. "Zhongli-dono tells me the only way to save you is to turn you into an adeptus. There is another way aside from taking the trial of earth and heaven. You need pure adeptus blood in your body and pure adeptal energy being pumped to you. I gave my blood and my energy to you. The other adepti help too. They transferred their energy to me and after I converted it, I gave it to you." He said.

I felt a jolt of worry when I heard that. "Are you fine now? Have you recovered your adeptal energy? What should I do to help you recover?" I fired a barrage of questions.

"I am fine. I have recovered. There is no need to worry about me." Xiao grabbed my hand on his cheek and placed a kiss on my pulse.

I feel my pulse quicken as blush coats my cheeks. "You really are weird. You are fine when you approach me by yourself. But everytime I take initiative, you become embarrassed. How cute." The vigilant yaksha is no more, right now in front of me there is only the devious yaksha.

"X...Xiao…" my eyes darted nervously.

"Hm?" He hummed as he placed another kiss on the side of my neck. My breath hitches, I can clearly feel his mouth curls to a smirk.

Then, I heard a gasp that was not mine.

"Hohoho, as I thought. Everything will turn out to be alright." Granny Ping laughed.

I push Xiao away and voila, Granny Ping and other adepti including Zhongli and Ganyu are standing on the entrance. Ganyu is peeking from the gap between her hands.

"I take it you are alright now." Cloud retainer said.

"Y-yes. Thank you for checking me up." I bowed, my voice was clearly too high pitched.

"Hohoho. I am glad you are alright. It seems there are no complications. We should take our leave and leave youngsters on their own devices." Granny Ping laughed.

"...Xiao… don't go too hard on her. She is still recovering. Ah… this is youth." Zhongli spoke like a true old man.

Our faces combust to flames. The adepti quickly dismiss themselves, leaving only the two of us. The atmosphere has turned awkward.

"I will let you rest." Xiao said.

I grabbed his sleeve before he could disappear. "Stay. I… have something I want to talk about."

Xiao sits on the edge of the bed. I clench and unclench my fist on his sleeve. "Xiao… what happened… with Miss Yue Mei?" I asked. "I want to know the truth."

Xiao sighs. "She wore a charm made by adepti. That charm has the power to attract people. The downside of that charm is, it becomes useless if it were known to other people. I...was bewitched by it too. That's why…" He gulped.

"...I see…" A weight I didn't know I have seems to be gone now. "I see…. I thought… I thought you prefer her more than me."

"Foolish mortal." He rolled his eyes. "I will never leave you, [Your Name]. Not now, not ever. I will stay by your side, until you don't need me anymore." He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Then, you will have to stay by my side forever. Because, I won't get tired of you." I smiled cheekily.

"I know." He leaned in and closed the gap between us. The kiss is short and sweet. He groans a little after he pulls back.

"...Did I do something wrong?" Now I am worried, I...have never kissed someone. I might be not doing it correctly.

"...No." He put his head on my shoulder. "I don't think I can wait for you to fully recover before I start carving for you." His arms tightened around my waist.

"Xia...nnnn…" I clamped my mouth shut when I felt him nipping my neck.

"[Your Name]..." He murmured, his hot breath is fanning my neck. "You are making it harder to resist." He mumbled as he dragged me down back to the bed. He slips in the cover with me. His arm wraps securely around me. "Sleep."

"Xiao…" I called as my sleepiness started to kick in.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, [Your Name]."

Omake

The moon is illuminating a certain room in Wangshu inn.

"Xiao….what happened to my amulet?" I blinked when I noticed my empty neck.

"It broke." He deadpanned.

"Broke…?" Tears drip down to the mattress.

"W-why are you crying? Don't cry." The panicked yaksha tried to calm me down.

"...rry…"

"Eh?"

"Sorry, I broke it. Even though it's a gift from you." I hiccuped.

"...haahh.." He sighed. "I can just make it again. There's no need to cry." Xiao wiped my tears.

"But, it has a piece of your soul. When I wear it, I feel you are always with me."

"...You have me here, yet you are crying for a piece of soul." He let out a low growl.

"It's not just a piece of soul. It's a piece of your soul." I protested.

"...I will stay with you. You don't need it anymore."

"But, I want it. What if you can't be with me. At least, I will have the amulet accompanying me everywhere I go." I mumbled.

"Everywhere you go?" He raised his brow.

"Yes. Everywhere….I...go…" *poof* A not so innocent thought just passed through my mind.

"What did you think about [Your Name]? The smirk came back. The devious yaksha has come back. Xiao leans so close, that I keep leaning back until I fall down to the mattress. Xiao traps me using his body. I can clearly smell Qingxin from him. My eyes darted around, trying to find a nonexistent escape. And part of me didn't really want to escape.

'So close!!!'

Xiao suddenly leans to my exposed neck. "Xiao...what are you-!!!!" I feel a small sting on my neck, before something wet is lapping on the spot. 'X….Xiao bit me…?' I am sure my face right now is the same as a tomato, my eyes swirling.

"[Your Name]." He breathed out.

"Xiao….nnnnn…." He pulled me to a dizzying deep kiss. His wet muscle quickly establishes dominance in my cavern. I fist his top so hard that I am sure it is crumpled. When he pulled back, I was still not processing it. My head is still dizzy from the kiss, mouth panting, and the mixed drool on the side of my mouth.

"...Irresistible." He wiped the drool on my mouth. He pressed a kiss on my forehead. "Today, I will let you go. Remember, when you recover, I just have to show you how much you don't need that amulet anymore." He smirked.

The blush that has finally faded away, comes back at full force.

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

Waiting For A Star To Fall

Nikolai x Selina

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: minor angst and fluff, oral sex (m/f receiving), brief thigh riding, penetration, use of sex toys, language gif by @vousnavezrienvu

A/N: Selina and Nikolai's first date turns into more than they ever imagined. 

This took a stupid amount of time to write and became a pure labor of love. Thank you @magic-multicolored-miracle and @neuroticpuppy for being with me the ENTIRE way.  And @bisexualnathanyoung and @forenschik for being my guinea pig

September 1992

Selina’s phone rang, but Sunny beat her to it as he threw himself over the arm of the futon in her minuscule apartment.  His elbow rammed into the wall, and Selina insisted he deserved it.

“Hello?” 

There was a momentary pause.  Selina stood cross-armed with a frown on her face.

“I don't recall anyone with that name living here.  It's just my sister, myself, and the guy from the sixth floor who was murdered in 1985.” 

“SUNNY!!” 

He waved her off,  “Why would I be fucking with you?  You called here.  My sister didn't give you this number, she's a virtual nun!  She's not one to take up with strange foreign men.”

Selina launched herself at her little brother.  He held the cordless phone above his head and levitated the ten feet towards the ceiling.  His legs curled up underneath so she couldn't grab him by the ankle. 

“UNFAIR!!”  

“EVOLUTIONARY ADVANTAGE!” he shouted and stuck out his tongue.  “You were saying?”

“You aren't evolution!  You're a science experiment that was implanted in our mother by The Men In Black.”

“Low blow.” Sunny flipped Selina off and went back to the caller.  “I mean that may or may not be the woman you ravished lakeside.  I know my sister is her own woman.  You scandalized her though.  I think you made her feel.. feelings.  Rude.” 

“NICKLAUS ELTON KOSTAS GIVE ME MY PHONE!”

He held up his hand.  “HEY! I can speak Russian you know.”  And then Sunny did for the next several minutes occasionally glancing down at his sister.  

Finally, he came back to the couch and held out the receiver to Selina.  “It's for you.  He's very perturbed, and Slavic.  And sexy.”

She yanked the phone from her brother and flipped him off.  “Klaus should've left you in 1989.”  Her voice softened and her cheeks flushed as she finally answered, “Hi.” 

Sunny hovered a few feet off the ground as Selina blabbered on in flirtatious Russian.  He sneered and poked fun at the way his sister wound her finger up in her hair and then released it.  When that didn't work, craving her attention, he began to hold an imaginary conversation with an exaggerated Russian accent.  

Selina threw the first thing she could at her little brother.  The remote control sailed across the room at Sunny who simply held up his hand, palm towards his sister.  The remote hung in the air like he did.  Then he narrowed his eyes which caused the object to lower to the floor. Selina sighed and returned to the conversation. 

“Wait, you wanna take me out?”  A pause.  “You don't have to repay me.  I'm just practicing for when I'm ethically obligated to save someone.” Pause. “Arsonists and thieves too!”  Selina smiled wide as the flames licked her cheeks and ears now.  “How attractive you are doesn't alter Samaritan laws, Nikolai.” 

Sunny rolled his eyes flabbergasted at how his sister’s entire demeanor changed the moment she began to speak to the Russian from Sway Lake.  She was being coy.  Dare he say seductive as she ignored everything he managed to garner attention.  

Sunny had always been the object of his sister’s devotion.  EVERYONE’S devotion really.  As the youngest of eight “children,” it was his birthright.  Now here he was, slowly becoming Selina’s third favorite person.  Not a single soul, no matter how rakish or good in bed, would ever replace Leon. 

“Sure.  Yeah, I’d like that.”  Selina had a dopey grin on her face.  “Tonight?!  I mean can you even get reservations?”  “Trust you?  I don't know why I should, but I guess I will.  I'll meet you there. Do svidaniya, Nik.. KOLYA.”  

Selina hung up the phone and threw a pillow this time at Sunny.  He crashed to the floor having been caught off guard and rubbed his ass.  

“Just be HUMAN FOR FIVE MINUTES.” 

“I AM HUMAN!! I'M JUST.. Super.” 

“Super egotistical.”

“I can't help that the love of our parents turned me into a badass.” 

“I just pray Reginald never finds you.  You're the success to his failure with Klaus.”  Selina meant that last bit with her entire being.  “Now get out, I've a date tonight.” 

---

“Nikolai, I can't run that fast in these boots!”  Selina yelled as she desperately tried to catch up to her date.  She could hear a fast-approaching man behind her yelling obscenities in a dialect she wasn't familiar with.  Bulgarian or Lithuanian maybe. 

He stopped at the corner.  “We are wearing the same ones, look how fast I'm moving.  I think it must be the several rum and cokes you had.  Come,” Nikolai held out his hand, “we will go faster together.” 

Selina rolled her eyes but linked her hand with his.  Nikolai took off, and she started to laugh.  The exhilaration and adrenaline coursed through her veins.  Never in a million years would she have imagined dining and ditching.  

Nik was so calm as he spoke to the waiter in the dialect they were being bellowed at.  He never blinked.  Then the waiter nodded, took something from him and walked away.  Nikolai stood and clasped Selina’s hand and began to make his way towards the door. 

“Nikolai, shouldn't you pay?” 

There was a slight shake to his head.  He never looked back, just kept going with Selina tight to his side.  They made it to the door before they both had to give chase. 

Selina swung out into the street.  She waved and whistled loudly at an oncoming taxi.  To her shock, it stopped to pull over for them.  Nik was incredulous but had no choice except join his date as she yanked him inside the cab.  

“Bleecker and Christopher, please,” she instructed the taxi driver.  Selina turned to the Russian beside her,  “Are we going to break the law EVERY time we're together?”  

“Yes.  Like a new Bonnie and Clyde.”  Nikolai lifted the hand Selina hadn't realized he was still holding.  His lips brushed the back of it, “Without being shot to death by the FBI.” 

Selina's heart pounded in her ears.  She couldn't remember seeing anyone look attractive in the color orange.  Yet here was the man beside her, currently with a look she could only describe as voracious, pulling it off.  Her cheeks grew hot under the weight of his stare. 

“What?!” came out in an embarrassing giggle. 

“I cannot look at something beautiful?” 

“You don't have to lay it on THAT thick.  I'm taking you back to my apartment already.” 

“I'm not trying to trick you, Lina.  I think you are beautiful. I almost blew my own mission.  Especially under the moonlight.  You made me forget what I was doing.  Your willingness to allow me to do unspeakable things to your body helped,” he teased.  

Selina decided to play coy as the taxi stopped in front of her building.  “Let's see what happens under this month’s full moon.” 

---

Selina and Nikolai on the fire escape outside her living room window.  Selina a few beers in and a few steps above.  Nikolai nursing a beer of his own while settled between her knees.  His arm under her knee to snake around her calf.  His fingers mindlessly stroked her ankle to the naked foot dangling in his lap. 

They had fallen into a contented silence after nearly two hours of talking.  Sharing stories in Russian and English.  Nik’s curiosity about the photos and books and records she owned was endless.  Selina had a hard time keeping up and answering as he flitted along from keepsake to keepsake. 

Yes, that's Elton John.  Somehow he and her parents were old friends.  He dedicated “Your Song” to her parents every concert they went to.  Selina could never figure out why. 

The somehow dower, yet smiling man, with a giant cigar in his mouth that tossed Selina in the air while little Sunny hung from his back was her Godfather, Tom.  He had been a CIA agent that now lived in a cabin with his beautiful French wife, Ella.  That's where she had been  staying up at Sway Lake.  Yes he did always look like a lion with a thorn in his paw, but he was soft and kind and loving.  

The Lady Godiva on the horse was her mother, Honey, back when she frequented Studio 54.  Selina recalled her hair rivaled only Cher’s at that stage.  Raven colored and long enough to hide her naked body (barely) as she sat side saddle on the white mare.  Her head resting against the back of an equally nude man. Her one arm wrapped around his thin waist. 

Nope, Nik was totally not imagining things.  The man holding the reins did strongly resemble her brother and himself.  That was HER papa, Leon. His hair in perfectly wild curls to his shoulders. His face full of confidence and sex. 

The questions began to wear Selina down.  No one had ever been this inquisitive or interested in her life.  Her family.  Her.  The endless questions, punctuated by making out until their lips chapped, about her personally.  Then, between an anecdote about Luther and rollerskating and tongues fighting for dominance they stopped.  

Now Nikolai lifted Selina’s foot and kissed the top of it.  Then his mouth made its way up her shin.  When he reached her knee, Nik turned abruptly to face the woman behind him.  He set the bottle down on the windowsill before kneeling on the stairs.  He slid the hem of her dress up, fingers hooked into the fabric of her panties to tug them off.  He kissed her inner thigh before letting his tongue trace painfully slow along her sex. 

Selina could only grasp the railing.  Her fingers curved around the cold metal and she cried out in pleasure as Nikolai slipped his tongue inside of her.  

It slid in and out before eventually discovering her clit.  His hands on her ass so that he could pull her onto his face.  Encourage her to ride him as his tongue flicked in circles and then snaked in and out. 

Selina started to lose herself.  Her free hand tugged at Nik’s hair while her hips bucked and the spark grew.  She twitched and cried out louder as his mouth and tongue worked faster.  She opened her eyes to look down at the man keen to make her cum. 

Almost as if he could feel her eyes on him, Nikolai looked up at Selina.  She felt strange, shameless and used her own thumb to wipe away what was on his lips.  She sucked on it briefly then grabbed Nik by the shirt towards her.  Wanting for a kiss.  

Selina revelled in the way she tasted on his lips and inside her own mouth.  Like beer and bitterness.  She had never done that before Nikolai and the lake.  She wanted to do it again, and every time he went down on her.  She wanted to put him in her mouth.  To suck and lick and make him bend and writhe.  

She could, she thought, now.  Selina pushed Nik away at arms length meaning to have him sit on the stairs so she could give him head.  Her fingers deft at the belt buckle and buttons on his pants. She laughed full of nerves as he fumbled, THE OVERCONFIDENT RUSSIAN FUMBLED!! 

Nikolai fumbled with the buttons on his dress shirt before he finally came loose.  He yanked his pants and boxers over his hips and held his cock in his hand. Nik parted her legs and started to push inside, but Selina held up her hands.

“What are you doing?”

“Do you not want me to have sex with you?”  He was more shocked than angry. 

Selina ran her hands over his chest and stomach then up around his neck.  “I very much want to fuck you.” Nikolai huffed, but Selina continued, “I mean I've seen you naked and can't get over how fucking sexy you are.”  

“Then what is wrong?  Not here?  Maybe this is not comfortable for you.  We’ll go inside.”  He stood and held out his hand.

“It's probably the same as fucking on a bunch of sticks and acorns.”

Nikolai sniffed again at the use of the word “fucking.”  “Then what is wrong?”

Selina stood and climbed in through the windows.  Her date followed.  “There's an international health crisis.   A incurable disease that passes mostly via sex and fluids?” she shouted from her room as she rummaged through drawers. 

“Do you mean The..AIDS?  Is that not for,” he chose his words carefully, “The gay men?” 

Selina could tell Nik was more confused than anything.  She heard this all the time at the clinic where she volunteered. “Or you could be bisexual or pansexual like my brothers.  Contract it from a man and pass it to a female partner.”  

She appeared in the living room now with a small foil package.  “Or an IV drug user, also like my brother, and get it that way.” 

Selina started to unwrap the condom without noticing that Nikolai was standing completely nude in her living room.  “This is usually where most guys bail.  They're not interested in protection or rubbers.  Mostly just a pump and..” she looked up and paused in her tracks. She was distracted by his body and neck and eyes and jawline.  “Christ on a cracker.”

“What?”  he chuckled.  

“Sorry! I know. I know.  AIDS talk is a bummer.  I get this close to just.. sitting on a dick and I panic?  Everyone in my family got the sexual confidence memo but me.” 

“Why are you panicking now?  You did not freak out by Sway Lake.”  

Nikolai couldn't help the teasing in his voice.  He reached out for Selina to draw her close to his body.  His knee inside of her thighs just like that night.  

Now he unzipped and helped her out of the dress.  “I think it's very sexy when you talk like a nurse. So smart and commanding.”  His hands ran over her bare back and down to her ass as he brushed his nose along her neck up to her ear.  He nipped at the lobe, “That can be very erotic putting a condom on.” 

“Nik,” Selina could only squeak out.  Her body involuntarily started to rock back and forth. 

“It's Kolya.  In Russian we use end of names,” he breathed in her ear.  “Like your sister, Vanya.   Little Ivan.”

“Ok,” Selina didn't want to hear about Vanya right now.  Or Klaus.  Or Diego.  Instead she got down on her knees.  The condom was still in her hand as she used the other to hold his erection towards her mouth.

“Lina, what are you doing?”  

She looked up through her bangs, her tongue darted out to trace around the head of the cock.  “Sucking your dick.  What else does it look like?”  She took it fully in her mouth, letting the tip hit the back of her throat.  

“Fuck,” he mumbled in Russian.  “Dorogoya, stop.”  

Selina sat back with a popping sound, “Did I do it wrong?  I'm like, the LEAST experienced person in this family.”

“You don't have to be an expert.  A blow job is a blow job, we can practice another time.  I want to be inside of you.  And I have been very patient.”

Selina stood, but Nikolai lifted her completely off the ground.  She wrapped her arms and legs around him as they stumbled towards the futon.  Mouths and tongues at war as Nik sat her down on the cushions.  Selina held eye contact as she expertly unrolled the condom down the length of his cock.  She kissed his stomach as he noticeably shuddered.  

Nikolai let his fingers caress Selina’s bottom lip before crawling on top of her.  She still held his erection in her hand as he threw one of her legs over his shoulder.  He held her bent knee to the side as she taunted him with her sex.  Guiding it just inside before digging her nails into his ass so that he buried himself to the hilt. 

Selina clawed at his back as Nik started to undulate.  Over and over, further inside each time.  Their bodies rocked wildly as Selina’s muscles started to shake from the position she was in.  She clung to him desperately as he searched for her neck and chest with his lips.  

Nikolai’s mouth devoured one of her breasts.  He sucked and bit at Selina’s nipple.  She cried out in shock at the sensation.  The sound egged him on to go harder.  

“So you like that too?” His voice raspy in her cleavage. His suckling and biting increased.  She mewled in reply. 

Selina was worried that it wasn't working.  That she couldn't or wouldn't orgasm.  Not like she did when he went down on her.  How she hung from the cliff.  

She WAS being pleasured.  Nikolai was hitting the right spots, but she was so nervous about what she looked like under the lamplight.  His rhythm and pounding, it was pounding, into her was unmatched.  She cried out with exaggeration to indicate she had cum hoping he wouldn't notice. 

“Fuck!” he cried out and propped himself up by the back of the futon.  

Nik’s body arched while his hips made circular motion.  He spasmed and shuddered as his body immediately went into shut down mode.  His face covered in a sheen of sweat as he pressed his forehead into Selina’s neck then pecked it a few times. 

“I.. am sorry, Lina.” There was disappointment in the Russian’s voice as he held the condom so he could pull out.

“For what?”   Her arms and legs still enclosed around his back and hips.  

“You did not.. cum,” Nik’s eyes searched the woman below him.  “I should have tried better.  I just was so turned on by you.”  He swept the damp hair away from her forehead. 

“You were fine!  It was good.  Really good.  I got in my own head is all.  Maybe next time?” 

“You mean later tonight,” he winked then pecked the tip of her nose. “I won't leave until you are honestly screaming my name.”  There were four dimples Selina counted in his smile.  

“Then we’ll sleep on it first.” 

---- 

Selina tip toed out to the kitchen both starved and thirsty.  She thought about Nikolai's playful threat about not leaving until she got off and chuckled to herself.  Then she peered around the wall to see him asleep on the futon.  His mouth slightly agape and one hand under his cheek. 

Would it be so bad with him around all the time? She thought as she cracked open a beer.  To not be alone when she came home from a shift?  How nice it would be to have conversations with someone not “related” in some form or another. 

And Nikolai was interested in Selina.  He still dodged questions about himself, answering straightforwardly with no details.  She knew it was because he didn't trust her just yet.  It wasn't like she didn't have secrets of her own, but the more open she COULD be, the more she knew Nik would reciprocate.  It had to be lonely with only one confidante. 

Selina turned around and jumped a mile in the air.  “Motherfucker!”

Nikolai was casually leaning against the doorway watching her contemplate life and drinking a beer.  “She IS very sexy,” he replied with a cheeky grin. 

Selina rolled her eyes and walked towards her kitchen table to keep distance between herself and the Russian.  As if she were daring him to chase her.  Nik made her feel so contradictory.  In control and submissive.  Safe yet dangerous.  Lustful.  

There was no opposite to that, she realized.  The light from her small kitchen window illuminated the lines and definition of his chest and shoulders.  The collarbone that met in the middle and moved up into his thick neck with its Adam's Apple bobbing along as he swallowed.  A sharp intake of breath before he clenched his jaw.  

Selina’s heart pumped into her ears as he casually reached across the table for her, but she ducked out of the way.  His eyebrows knit together in confusion as they danced around for only a few moments until she allowed him to grab her by the elbow.  Her world stood still as he took her in his arms, back to his chest. 

“I have been thinking, rypka, about our little challenge,” Nikolai settled one hand on her breast which he massaged lightly paying close attention to her nipple.  His mouth somewhere behind her ear as his other hand dropped to her sex. 

A finger found its way inside of Selina and she lost the air in her lungs.  It curved and hooked before making a lazy swirl around her clit.  “Already?” was all she managed.  Her nails closed around his wrist and urged him on. 

“I would like to try a different way of having sex with you.  I just don't want you to be offended.”  

Nik let go of Selina and placed her arms on the tabletop.  He spread her hands out; bent her forward so that her top half was pressed into the wood surface.  Then he grabbed her hips so that her ass was flush with his hardened cock.

“No anal,” she moaned.  “Wear a condom,” another instruction. “Bathroom shelf.” She grazed against him. 

“If you insist,” Nikolai replied in Russian. “I will obey.”  

There was a playful slap on Selina’s ass, and she felt herself swell and throb.  A first time for everything. If she enjoyed it, wet from the sting of being struck, it was.. genetic.  

Her brothers, father, even Honey mentioned the occasional pain got them going.  Klaus and Sunny with varying degrees of punishment.  She knew from eavesdropping or snooping that her parents preferred it light: spanking or hair pulling.  Maybe she did as well.  Too vanilla to ask.  Inexperienced to what she wanted from a partner. 

“Do it again?” Selina tried not to sound desperate as Nikolai tore into the condom wrapper.  She almost presented herself to him as she felt the smooth surface on her cheek.

“What?” he was distracted.  There was a strange snap of latex as he adjusted it.  Then taunted Selina with the head of his cock.  He rubbed it along her slit, marveling at how easy it was to slide in. 

“Hitting me?” she asked timidly. 

“Why would I hit you?” Nikolai was offended.  His hand flat on Selina's back as it traveled to her neck and hair.  His fingers combed and intertwined with her dark waves then lightly tugged. 

Selina braced herself as he lost himself up to the hilt.  Nikolai's pelvis met her ass and pulled out to just the tip.  He repeated this until he gained friction.  Her head and hips were his anchor so he could thrust quicker. Their bodies make a clapping noise. 

“My ass.  Like you did.  Hit it.”  She was willing to try anything.  Wanted to cum for him.  She knew she could, she did it alone all the time.

“Really?” Nik was surprised.  His pace was even faster and the table started to creak under the motion.  “Did you like it then?” His hand cracked her flesh but only slightly harder than before.  

Selina cried out.  Her sex ached and was swollen.  Nikolai did it one more time, but she could tell it wasn't really his thing.  Sensed that it bothered him to be serious about erotic corporal punishment.  Playing was different.  His hand did tighten in her hair to bend her head back. 

“I don't know,” was all he mumbled in Russian.  

The hand that spanked Selina now encompassed her own on the table.  He bent to kiss her shoulder as he found his breakneck rhythm. 

“Then just go harder,” Selina found her voice now.  She relaxed and allowed her body to take how deeply he penetrated her.  His cock at that angle hitting a spot she found mythical. 

Nikolai railed into Selina.  The table and their bodies shook almost violently as he pounded into her.  His shaft lost until she felt a pressure in her womb.  He stood straight and clutched at the thick of her hips.  Her curves she inherited from her mother.  They cushioned her as his body and cock pleased her.  That spark and wave rolled over Selina like on the couch.  

They weren't quiet.  Both forgetting about neighbors as Selina mewled and screamed out. Nikolai growled and uttered obscenities in his first language.  They were certain this would be it, that Selina would orgasm and Nik would feel satisfied that he could please her.  

Instead, his body violently shuddered as he exploded inside the condom.  His muscles and adrenaline gave way to Nik almost collapsing on top of Selina.  He faltered prior to catching her up in his arms again.  He held her and whispered apologies to her as they kissed. 

“Kolya,” she whispered back.  “It's fine.  I was really close.  We have other times to  experiment.”  Selina swept his damp curls back. 

Nikolai leaned into her hand, “You want to keep being with me?” 

“That's what dating is,” she laughed under her breath. “I like being with you.  I wanna know more about YOU though.  Come on,” Selina took his hand.  “Let's actually go to bed and talk.”

---

Selina reached blindly for Nikolai after her alarm went off.  Sitting up, she slammed the clock and turned to see an empty space on the side of the bed he had fallen asleep on. 

She knew he wasn't obligated to be there when she woke up.  This time waking up alone left a weird knot in her stomach.  

“Fuck,” she tossed herself back and threw a pillow over her head to scream.  Her arms and legs failed around like a toddler throwing a fit. 

How long was enough before she called him?  Would he just disappear now? Klaus called it, funnily enough, ghosting.  Why did everything Nik say tread a weird line between romantic and calculating?  And why did Selina want him to keep saying things, anything at all, to her? 

How does someone know they're falling in love? How did Honey and Leon?  Klaus and Dave.  Allison and Ray.  Diego and Patch or Lila.  Vanya and Sissy.  Uncle Tom and Aunt Ella.  Poor Luther.

Selina’s family had a knack for impulsive behavior when it came to attraction.  Her mom moved to a foreign country with a man she had slept with for money.  Klaus fought in Vietnam for a closeted man that kissed him once. Sunny went home with, to Selina’s chagrin, anyone who showered him with the simplest of affection. And Selina had laid down and spread her legs for a Russian committing arson.  

“Lina you are awake?” Nikolai asked from the other room. 

She threw a bathrobe on and wandered into the kitchen.  “You came back.”

Nik was reaching above her tiny sink for coffee mugs and plates.  “Did you not want me to?”

He set the dishes out and opened a box to pull out some pastries and bagels.  Then poured coffee and handed Selina the cup. 

“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” he offered her the plate.  “Greek, Italian and Russian,” a satisfied grin flashed across his face.

“Well that was kind of you,” she smiled back and helped herself to a cannoli and Russian tea cookie.  “Yes, I wanted you to come back. I think I kinda always do?” she questioned her own intentions with a mouthful of pastry. 

Nik leaned over and kissed Selina.  His tongue darted out to taste the sweet ricotta filling on her lips; she reciprocated.  Her own slipping to the back of his mouth to catch him off guard. Nik steadied himself on her hips. 

There was a muddled sound of pleasure when Selina’s fingers unbuttoned Nikolai’s shirt in expert time.  Their mouths never separated as she went to work on his belt and pants as he struggled to take his boots off. 

“This was not my plan for this morning,” Nik breathed heavily in Russian. 

“I'm just really interested in us reaching that goal,” Selina helped him out of his clothes.  

Kissing again, they could feel their lips start to chap already as Selina began backing Nik into her room until he hit the foot of her bed.  As he leaned back, she climbed on his lap.  Her hands seized his cock and settled it in the folds of her sex.  Selina rolled her hips.

“What are you doing!?” Nikolai could only cry out. Astonished by the lack of a condom.  

“I'm sick of being the safe one,” she raised up on her knees so that she was above him.  Her hands on his face and neck as she snaked her tongue to the back of his teeth again.  

Selina shoved him back on the bed and threw off her robe.  She straddled Nikolai like a woman possessed, took his hands and placed them on her breasts as she rode him.  Still not penetrated.

Nik lost himself for a moment.  He massaged the breasts.  One hand teased a nipple, pinched it,  before sitting up to devour it.  Selina held him to her chest, clung to the hair on the back of his head and pulled in her excitement.  Her fingers found the gnarly scar and she rocked harder on his lap. 

“I want you to fuck me until I cum.” 

Nikolai looked up and held her back, “It is not fucking at this point.  Not for me, Lina.  Also you must not compromise your principles for anyone.  I do not want this for you.”  

Selina groaned with exasperation.  Her walls were swollen and slick and wanting.  “It's not a compromise, Nik.  Everyone jumps in my family and trusts they’ll fly while I stand on the cliff pacing back and forth.” 

He blinked, mouth just slightly agape.  That face.  Selina knew that face.  She loved that face.  She loved this face. “Lina, you are extraordinary.  You don't need to have a big life just yet.  It will happen.” 

“Kolya,” her words softer now as she relaxed, “I love you.”

“Do you?!” a dopey grin spread across Nikolai's face.  “It is the same for me I think?  I've never done this, you know.  “That I love you.”  

He kissed Selina before turning under her to rummage around the nightstand drawer. “Now we will go back to the way you prefer?  If I need to I will get..” he stopped and held something aloft.  Now his smile and dimples were devilish. 

He studied it before making it buzz with a push of a button.  “Pocket Rocket?! Lina, are you secretly naughty?" he giggled. 

"I don't think it's a secret to you anymore,” she reached for it.  Her cheeks turned red. 

"Who do you fantasize about when you use it?" Nikolai held it to Selina’s breasts.  He watched with fascination as her nipples hardened.  He let it travel over her stomach and back up. 

Selina moaned and twisted. "You're just trying to get me to say you, but I've had it since I turned twenty.  So mostly you know.. Keanu Reeves..”  

“But not me?" his eyebrow cocked.  Nikolai traced the vibrator along her hips and over her pelvic bone.  

"Once in a while,” her words came out breathless.

"As a Russian, I'm already superior at using it because rocket?” he waggled his brows now.  “We can now?  With you on top?”

The toy found her slit and slid inside easily.  It buzzed and made the air rush out of Selina’s lungs.  She dug her nails into Nikolai's chest while he started to use the vibrator to have sex with her.  Found a pattern of in and out while she bucked and writhed.  

Selina reached back to anchor herself on one of Nik’s thighs. It allowed him better access to her clit.  He Marveled at the way she agonized under his hand as it manipulated her.  His free hand on her ass to coax her faster as SHE undulated now as he had done on the couch.  Her hips danced separately from her upper half.

Nikolai rolled Selina on her back all of a sudden.  Her hair hung off the bed as he propped up on an elbow.  He worked the vibrator in circles.  In and out of her slick walls before going after the clit.  

Selina got tangled up in the sheets as she felt a warmth spread from her stomach to her sex.  Her thighs started to tighten around Nik's hand as she thrust her hips off the bed.  Eyes clamped shut as the first wave washed over her body.  Neck exposed for him to suck and bite which urged another orgasm to burn through her.  

Nikolai was stunned by her silence.  Selina’s mouth opened in a silent cry as she came a third time in succession.  This last time she managed a strangled scream of his name which he swallowed with a kiss.  

A shiver ran through Selina while she relaxed.  Her fingers traced patterns along Nikolai's bicep as her eyes closed.  Cumming was like a sedative.  Nikolai cupping her face and drawing it to his for a lazy kiss was a sedative.  The rain she had no idea was pouring in buckets outside her window was also a sedative.  

The vibrator continued buzzing until it didn't.  The room grew quiet save for the breaths that came from Nik’s nose.  Still heavy with his still hardened bulge pressed into Selina’s hip.  There was no move to get on top of her.  To have sex with her so he, too, could cum.  She started to idly jerk him off. 

“Lina stop,” he gently took her hand.  “This was about you, not me.  It'll go away eventually.  Like I will,” he said that last bit with a challenge in his voice.  

Selina curled on her side towards Nikolai.  “Or maybe don't go?” 

“Ty khochesh', chtoby ya ostalsya?” You want me to stay?

“Po krayney mere, yeshche odno polnoluniye.”

At least one more full moon.

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[dizzydancingdreamer]

Come Over | Elijah Mikaelson

Hey Lovelies! This is my first post on this profile! If you're curious feel free to pop over to my other handle: @sweetpeasgirl where i write for riverdale! However this blog is for all fandoms! It's all very exciting and I am happy to take on a new project. Anyway this is my first time writing for Elijah/TVD/TO so I hope its good! Also my first smut oh no oh god. Lemme know what you think!

Description: Based on the song "Come Over" by Sam Hunt. Y/n finds out Elijah Mikaelson is a vampire in the worst way possible. She freaks out and runs. Elijah follows after. It comes to a crossroads at her apartment.

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: THIS IS AN 18+ ONLY FIC!!! NSFW, Smut (oral female receiving), 18+ (I feel obligated to say it ;) )

Word count: 3413

Tags: fluff, some angst, SMUT

(Photos not mine but mood board is :) )

I turn the TV off, to turn it on again

Staring at the blades of the fan as it spins around

The clock on your nightstand reads 11:34. The remote control is heavy in your hand. Nothing on the TV is interesting to you even slightly right now. Your room is sweltering and dark. Your bed is a mess, the comforter crinkled and shoved to the foot. Messy beds are always more uncomfortable. Any day but today you would care.

You glance down at your phone, not surprised in the slightest to see another missed call. That makes 22. Almost a new record. Two more and he’ll start a new one. That’s just his type. Persistent. It’s why you fell in love with him. He didn’t give up. You sigh and block the call, placing the phone face down on the nightstand. Your whole body feels hot.

Clicking again on the remote, you come across a reality show. It's trashy, the accents are harsh, it screams “daddy’s money”. It’s perfect. Maybe it’ll be enough to take your mind off of the events of this evening. Off of him. The girl on the show runs into the arms of a handsome man. You turn the TV off almost as fast as you had turned it on.

You had been picturing tonight in your head for a week. The Mikaelson Ball. Dining and dancing and elegance. Nothing your usual life regularly allowed. It was supposed to be special. The invitation alone was magnificent enough to make you swoon. The dress had almost made you faint. The necklace did. It was all perfect. He was perfect. And then it wasn’t.

Your phone buzzes again on the nightstand. You forgot to turn it off. Or maybe you left it on purpose. Your head feels fuzzy, though, and you don’t want to think about it. You wish his face would get out of your mind. Your eyes drift to the fan above you and you try to count the blades as they go around and around. You lose track easily, and you don’t care. It doesn’t do anything to soothe your molten skin.

Counting every crack, the clock is wide awake

Talking to myself, anything to make a sound

You pick the phone up once more, ready to scream at it. Every part of you feels like it's on fire and seeing his name on the screen pushes you over the edge. You don’t know what you did to get tangled in all of this but you’re ready to claw your throat out. Instead, you throw the phone as hard as you can against the pile of comforters. It stops buzzing but your skin is still sticky. You feel sick to your stomach.

“Why did you pick me, why couldn’t it have been someone else,” your tone is harsh but it’s not like he can hear you, “it hurts Eli. Make it stop. Please!”

Your voice is barely a whisper and it turns to cries quickly as the anger dies out. All you can see, swirling around the depths of your mind, are his fangs. The way his brown eyes died to a blackness. The stark veins against his sculpted cheeks. He had looked every bit as beautiful as ever. Still elegant, still handsome. Still Elijah. But dark. Dangerous. That’s what scared you. Elijah was still Elijah when he was ripping a heart from a chest.

It felt like a blur when you saw it. One minute he had his hand on the small of your back. You had been taking a stroll in the garden. It was like nothing you had ever seen before. Beautiful hedge walls and roses of all different colours and a magnolia tree like you had only ever imagined. The moon wasn’t quite full over your heads. He was finally about to kiss you, something you had been silently pleading for for months now. Before his lips could touch yours, though, there was a hand around your throat. It had squeezed to the point of you almost passing out before Elijah had time to rip you away from your attacker. You didn’t see him move, you just saw his hand break through the mans sternum and rip his beating heart out of his chest. As soon as you saw his face, his eyes, you bolted.

“I’m scared, Eli. I miss you. I’m scared that I miss you and a thousand other things. I need you.”

You look at the dress hanging on the back of your door. At one point it was a delicate, pale pink number. It had off the shoulder straps that, really, had no point but were beautiful. There was satin cream ribbon to lace up the back and the sweetest of sweetheart necklines. Now it was splattered in blood, the satin ribbons stained. One of the sleeves had ripped when you ran. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever owned and it was ruined in less than an hour. Fairytales were supposed to end at midnight, not nine o'clock.

“I wish you would come over.” You mean it.

You just want him to explain. To show up and sweep you off your feet and tell you that he won’t hurt you. You shouldn't even need the reassurance. You know him. That's your Elijah. Somewhere deep down you know that. But it's not making you any less afraid right now. He had been protecting you, but no one has ever ripped out a heart for you before. You’re allowed to be afraid of new things. You’re allowed to be afraid of things that are frightening. That’s what being human is. You still feel like a traitor, though, when you feel afraid of Elijah.

Your voice is silent in the darkness, “I wish you could hear me. Come over, Elijah.”

Your phone beeped. You pick it up in time to read the screen. Call ended.

I told you I wouldn't call, I told you I wouldn't care

But baby climbing the walls gets me nowhere

Call ended. Call ended 12:43. Twelve minutes and forty-three seconds. Elijah had been on the phone with you for almost thirteen minutes. Crap.

You think about how far away the Mikaelson mansion is from your apartment. Twenty minutes tops, and that’s your driving. Elijah’s driving? Ten, if you’re lucky. You could try to reason with yourself. Maybe he hadn't heard you. Maybe he doesn't want to see you. Maybe he hung up because he got tired of hearing you whine. You can’t help the dry laugh that falls from your lips. It’s Elijah. You probably only have five minutes now.

You jump to your feet and begin making your bed, your pulse thumping loud once more in your ears. He’s been in your apartment before, but that was when he was just Elijah. Not the Elijah with fangs and black eyes. Now he’s different. Mysterious. Who knows what he’s seen. What he’s done. You never thought your apparent was shabby by any means but would he? You know your life can’t compare to the wonders he’s most definitely seen.

You move to the kitchen, which is, by default, the living room as well, and begin picking up mugs and newspapers and anything else out of order that you can see. You sneak a quick glance out your kitchen window, into the parking lot below, just in time to see a sleek black car speed into one of the only available spots left. You can hear the engine purr from your fourth floor apartment. You know exactly whose car that is and thus aren't surprised when Elijah Mikaelson steps out from the drivers side and slams the door shut, not even bothering to lock the door. You gasp at the bang the metal makes and his head whips up, his eyes locking with yours from the ground.

You close your eyes for just a second. There's no way he could have heard that. When you look back to the ground, he’s gone. Before you can sigh there's a knock at the door.

I don’t think that I can take this bed getting any colder

Come over, come over, come over, come over, come over

You move to the door but you don’t open it. You place your palm on the wood trim and try to picture the man on the other side. He’ll look like Elijah. He’ll smell like Elijah and probably talk like Elijah, too. But is he still the same Elijah?

“Y/n, I know you’re there, open the door. Please?” His voice sounds the same, his accent penetrating the barrier between you and tickling your ears.

“Elijah,” your voice is but a whisper and you know you should be the only one who can hear it, “I’m scared.”

“I know, love, that’s ok. I won’t hurt you, though, and I need you to open the door. I just- I need to see you,” his voice cracks, just barely but it’s there.

That’s all it takes for you to slide the lock and open the door. In front of you, for the second time tonight, is a man you don’t recognize. He doesn’t have fangs and his eyes are his usual deep brown but they look shattered. His hair, usually styled to perfection, is a mess, like he had been running his hands through it for the past few hours. His suit jacket is gone, leaving him in slacks and the dress shirt he had been wearing at the ball, only now it’s untucked and the sleeves are rolled haphazardly up his arms. Elijah Mikaleson looks disheveled and you’re terrified again because this Elijah, hurt and upset, looks further from himself than the Elijah from the garden.

“Eli-”

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. God, I’m so fucking sorry,” his voice shakes as he stands in your doorway, “please let me explain, baby.”

You swallow at his words. Baby. That's new.

“Eli, you know you can come in whenever you want,” your eyes look to the ground, feigning interest in the knots of your hardwood floor.

“I want to hear you say it,” you can feel his eyes burning into your lowered head, “I need to hear that you want me to come in, Y/n.”

This time it’s your voice that breaks, “of course I want you to come in Elijah.”

He sighs and steps over the threshold, standing mere feet away from you. You feel so small next to him in nothing but a pair of plaid sleep shorts and plain tank top. Your bare feet, for the first time since getting home, are cool against the floor.

He reaches to touch you and you flinch away, “baby, god, no. Please don’t be afraid.”

Your chest aches at the scared look in his eyes and all you want to do is run into his arms but you need answers.

“What happened back there, Elijah?” You feel pathetic at how quiet your voice still is.

“He wanted to hurt me, torture me. And he knew he couldn't. So he went for you, because he knew I would retaliate,” his eyes land on yours and you can see that he still wants to rip that man limb from limb, “he was a werewolf, Y/n. He wanted you dead, I had to do it.”

He sinks to his knees, his voice dropping lower and lower until the last words are just whispers. His words ring in your ears again. Werewolf. A werewolf wanted you dead. You felt faint.

“Why was a,” you say the word carefully, “werewolf trying to hurt you?”

“Because I'm a vampire, Y/n,” his voice breaks fully this time.

You don’t know what to do. Not with the rapid beating of your heart nor the new information you’ve just acquired and especially not with the crying Mikaelson on his knees in your hallway. Your Elijah, the man who pulls your chair out at restaurants and opens your doors and always has a hand on you when you’re around his brothers, is a vampire. You’re not even sure what that means, there are so many questions running through your mind. You want to ask each and every one of them but, seeing the man in front of you, somehow now doesn’t feel like the right time.

Your heart flutters looking at Elijah. His hands are in his hair again, pulling desperately on the strands. Your heart falls into a thousand tiny pieces at the sight. How can you be afraid of someone being so openly vulnerable to you. No man has ever gotten on his knees for you. No one has ever begged on their knees for you. It’s breathtaking, all you need to push yourself into him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“You should be terrified of me y/n,” he chokes into your chest, “I’m not good for you. I'm a monster, baby.”

His words shred at your heart. You run your fingers through his hair, smoothing the soft locks beneath your fingers.

“No you’re not. You're still my Elijah.”

His head lifts from your chest and he captures your eyes with his serious ones. He looks awestruck.

“Your Elijah?” His accent is even thicker with all the emotion.

You smile for the first time in many hours, “of course, Eli.”

He sweeps you up and into his arms so quickly you get dizzy. Before you know what’s happened, he has you sat on your kitchen island and he’s standing between your legs. Your arms are still clinging tight to his neck while his hands hang dangerously low on your hips.

“And you’re mine, Y/n.”

His words makes your body sing, “All yours.”

He closes his eyes, his hands tightening deliciously on your hips, “say it again. Please, baby.”

“I’m yours Elijah. I’ve always been yours.”

His lips crash hungrily onto yours. He wraps his arms around your lower back and you tangle your legs around his waist to avoid falling off the countertop. He kisses you like you’ve never been kissed before, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth and biting down harshly before soothing the sting with his tongue. You're enamoured with this side of Elijah. You’ve seen his gentleman side, it was magnificent, but this side of him? It was everything you didn't know you needed.

He pulls back, only putting a fraction of space between your bodies but it feels like too much, “please don’t run from me again.”

Your lips brush his when you speak, “Never, Eli.”

He pulls your mouth back to his, a hand tangled in your hair tugging gently at the roots. You can’t but moan against his lips and squeeze your legs around his waist. You grab blindly at his shirt, trying desperately to undo the buttons. Your fingers fumble and he chuckles into your mouth. He releases you to pull his shirt off, dropping it mindlessly on the floor, his lips never leaving yours.

His chest is sculpted like the finest marble and you can’t resist running your hands over his skin. He feels strong under your fingertips. He lets out a groan as you slide them back to his shoulders to the nape of his neck. His lips move over your jaw, down your neck, kissing and sucking a trail to your throat.

His hands grip the edge of your tank top bunching the material in his fists, “may I?”

Always the gentleman.

You nod your head before the words can leave your mouth, “please.”

He smirks, his eyes shining, as he begins pulling the tank top tantalizingly slow up your chest. You raise your arms over your head with his movements, lowering them back to his torso when he drops your shirt with his. His chocolate eyes meet yours again, seeking permission. You can’t fight the small smile as you nod. His smile that greets yours is breathtaking.

His eyes flick down, taking in your bare chest like a child in a candy store. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, much like he did to yours only moments ago. His hands slide up the curve of your waist, trailing a new kind of fire wherever he touches. His thumbs graze the sides of your breasts and you just barely stop the moan, closing your eyes to regain the little control you have left.

“I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, you’re stunning Y/n. Absolutely beautiful.”

Before you can process it, his mouth is around your breast, pulling your nipple into his mouth and sucking gently. It sends a spark of electricity to the deepest part of your stomach, building an ache that you’ve felt before but stronger. Blinding. It’s white hot. You don’t try to stop the moans, you don’t want to. His tongue swirls around your breast, teasingly slow, making you feel every little movement. It’s dangerously addictive.

“Elijah,” you breath his name like oxygen.

His lips let you go, moving down your chest, trailing kisses down your abdomen, pulling praises from your lips as he goes. His eyes find yours when he sinks to his knees for the second time tonight. His hands grasp your shorts, covering your hips easily. You’re a wanton mess in front of him, practically fully undone from the simplest of touches.

“What do you want me to do, baby, you have to tell me what you want.” It's good to know he’s breathless too.

“Eli, I-” you moan as he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, sucking gently at the skin, his eyes still locked on yours, “I want you.”

He pulls his lips back, “you want me to do what, baby?”

You groan at the devilish smirk on his handsome face, “I want you to kiss me!”

“As you wish.”

He pulls your shorts off first, slowly dragging them down your legs, kissing all the way down and back up again. When you're left in nothing but your panties he presses the first kiss to you. It’s hot and sends shocks throughout your entire body.

“More, now. Please, Elijah.”

He chuckles but does as told, pulling the remaining material down your legs before hooking your legs over his muscular shoulders. He wastes no time attaching his lips to your sex, sucking delightfully. He swirls his tongue over your clit, stoking the fire building in your stomach. He drags his tongue down your slit for what feels like an eternity before he plunges into you. You throw your head back and close your eyes, mumbling praises into oblivion. You can feel his eyes on you, soaking up every inch of you.

Your hands find his hair again, not seeming to want to be apart from him, “god.”

“That's not my name, baby,” he mumbles against you, stopping his ministrations.

You open your eyes and lock them with his waiting ones, drawing his name out in your best attempt at being seductive, “Elijah.”

His eyes darken but this time you aren't scared. No, this time his eyes make him look dominant. Sexy. His tongue attacks your clit again only this time faster and hungrier. It makes the fire in your stomach white hot. He’s unrelenting, bringing you closer to the edge with every pass of his tongue. He's pouring everything he has into pleasuring you and you can feel it, literally. You squeeze your thighs around him tighter, ready to explode

“Come for me, baby.”

With that you fall into something you’ve heard about but never thought possible. All you can see, all you can feel, is Elijah. He consumes all of your senses as you fall apart, over and over again, under his touch. In the midst of falling apart you catch Elijah’s eyes and fall all over again. He looks like he’s in pure bliss watching you come undone because of him. You know in all your falling you murmur his name more than once. You know that he loves it.

As you come down from your high, you go to unwrap your legs from his neck, only to have him wrap you around his waist and pick you up. You can’t help but giggle at his determined look.

When he starts walking toward your bedroom you ask, “what’s on your mind, Eli?”

“Round two,” you giggle again when he kisses your forehead.

“I'm glad you came over, Elijah.”