#the ‘find a therapist’ is not a jab it is serious

[mortalheartache]

Hey guys quick PSA I can’t believe I as an adult am making about another adult but if you have so much nonexistent beef with me that you have to DM someone who knows someone I’ve spoken to like twice about if we correspond then that’s absolutely insane and I highly recommend you seek therapy of some sort because what

Stalking my tumblr dot com hayden christensen smut page over a whole lot of nothingburger with nothingsauce and a side of nothing with fries drama is unhealthy and not good for your psyche.

The beef is so not there you can call that shit Impossible!! 😭

[drunk0nheat]

"Calling a stranger you don't know 'stinky' as a form of trash talk is ableist" is not the take I was expecting to find today, but there it is, I guess.

The logic used was that sometimes, when people have depression, it's difficult for them to find the motivation to shower.

I understand and relate to this.

However, sometimes people need to realize that there is no such thing as an inoffensive insult. All insults are mean. Insulting someone is mean. That's what makes it an insult.

And pretty much any insult can be tied to some group or other if you do enough gymnastics.

Calling someone a slur or "obese" or something similar is one thing, cuz that's just bigotry. But if it's more than a couple degrees in the direction of ambiguity and almost comical levels of shallow, that's not bigotry, it's... just an insult.

Telling someone online you don't know that they're stupid = insult

Calling a black man "boy/kid" = bigotry

Typing "ur trash" in the chat of a game lobby = insult

Screaming "FAGGOT" at someone for killing you in a game = bigotry

Someone calling you an asshole = insult

Someone going, "what, are you slow or something?" = bigotry

I'm sorry your feelings got hurt, but there is a reason that we distinguish between bigotry and insults: bigotry is harmful on a systemic, societal, and cultural level and, knowingly or not, provides a safe space for people who actually believe in the things those words perpetuate. Insults are for releasing stress or expressing disdain at another's expense. One isn't exactly good, but the other one is just evil.

You don't need to make a callout post every time someone online calls you stinky; it isn't that deep, they're probably having just as bad a day as you are and chose that word because they didn't wanna insult you too bad. Sadly, they underestimated your ability to take deep, personal offense to even the most kindergarten-playground, sesame street-ass jabs money can buy.

Anyways, we're never going to live in a world that doesn't occasionally humble you. Learn the difference between harmful and mean.

And if you're in a headspace where everything someone says to you feels like an attack, consider that a symptom on your part. That sounds like an insult, but I am dead serious: if you see a therapist or a psychiatrist or both, consider telling them that's something you experience and they could have some good advice/drugs for you.

[jaywritesrps]

It just shows you how little SB fans know about Ali that they’d say Sophia is “gayer than Ali” now.

As far as we know, Ali has only been in a serious relationship with one man in her life—her college bf, almost 20 yrs ago.

She began exploring her sexuality in college and was also in a 3 year relationship with another woman in Germany before Ashlyn.

Over the years she’s shown much more interest in women than men, but I personally think a lot of her choice not to label herself has to do with a bit of internalized homophobia, whether she wants to admit it or not. I think she’s struggled with her sexuality a lot over the years, particularly with her dad and extended family’s feelings. I get very “Good luck, Babe!” vibes, tbh

Just because she chooses not to label her sexuality doesn’t mean she’s completely abandoned the idea of dating women. She simply said she’s trying to be open to all possibilities, which is a very healthy attitude to have.

However, as long as she’s in a healthy, happy, safe relationship when she chooses to date again, that’s all that matters. She deserves healthy love, be it with anyone she chooses.

Hey there, I usually delete asks like these cause it comes with hate plain and simple, but this time, i think i need to clarify a couple of things:

1) When I said Sophia was gayer of the three of them right now it's not to disrespect on Ali or Ashlyn or any lgbt, it's mostly cause she is on that stage my therapist calls as "sexuality euphoria", it's when you find out you are LGBT and you can finally live that without fear of repercussions. It's like that teen gay that found they are gay and want to be all the stereotypes possible they have seen on tv, you know. Both Ali and Ash sure passed through this, but they are on different stages than her. It's another reason why I don't think they (Sophia and Ashlyn) are going to work it out, cause once this feeling pass after a year or so, it's when they are going see thigs better (just look at that Greek' party, you can see Ashlyn doesn't fit in in Sophia's world, you can see they are desperately trying to fit in in each other's world, but it's like a Lego's wall where the whole wall is yellow and with bricks 1x3 , but another kid put a yellow brick 2x4 into it. In front, it looks like it fit in, but looking from behind you can see it didn't.)

2) When I talked about target audience for Ali, meant on her as brand, not as a person. There's a difference between "brand" and "person", brand is what she is trying to sell to an audience, that's what my comment was about. As a Brand, she is trying to put herself in a less aggressive way to get her more penetration in more diverse marketing. This is something she always did as brand, and she is not wrong for doing that, she is doing the more logical path for her. It's different from Ashlyn, for example, that mixes a lot her brand with her person, to a point that she is trapped in this brand/persona that she created after 2019 and right now, she is just trying to match with her girlfriend's style and it's weirdly looking like a mix of Grant Hughes and Chad Michael Murray in one person.

3) I really wish Ali finds someone that values her for who she is and accepts what she can give. Because to me it always looked like that Ashlyn needed that Ali was devoted to her as she was for Ali, but Ali is someone very grounded on, just look at her career and her interviews to notice that. While Ashlyn lives with her head in the clouds, and Ali is someone that took a lot of jabs in life to let the bright light blind her. So this relationship would need a lot of effort to work.

[lonely-writer]

Eddie to Buck: you feel pretty warm....

Hi anon! I’m so sorry it took me nearly 4 months to get this done but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! 

Title: Burn For Me

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Warnings: Discusses mental health/therapy

Tags: Feelings realization, Oblivious Evan “Buck” Buckley, Fire fam is concerned, for all the wrong reasons, Burn out, Discussions of mental health/therapy, Bobby Nash is Evan “Buck” Buckley’s father

Buck is sick.

Just not in the coughing and sneezing way, no believe it or not he's actually sick of work. Maybe the daily routine he followed was catching up to him, weighing on him with every call they responded to as the burden of the 118's job continued to gnaw at him- his therapist suggested he was burned out but Buck refuted the idea nearly immediately, him burnt out? Impossible. He'd signed up to save lives, to experience death defying feats and every day he risked his life by running straight into fire- how did someone become burnt out from that? The more he thinks about it though the more he comes around to the idea that he's tired of being in a routine that refuses to change- something has to or he fears he'll grow restless and move on to new adventures where he won't be happy. It's not helping that recently every call is mundane; there's a cat stuck in a tree here or a car accident there- on the occasions there's a fire it's nothing serious, usually someone left a candle unattended and the curtains caught fire or the oven timer went off.

Buck hates himself for even thinking this but he'd kill for another natural disaster to hit the city, at least then he wouldn't be so bored all the time. To combat this boredom he's started reading whatever can catch his attention, a sight that the rest of the 118 joke and jab at first but ultimately become concerned about- the last time he picked up a book he was in a slump with his now ex-girlfriend Taylor, at first they brush it off- after all maybe he's just looking to pick up a new, healthy hobby for once but by the third shift he shows up with another sappy romance novel the crew grows concerned.

"Maybe he's lovesick?" Hen suggests in the kitchen, her voice a quiet whisper glancing over to where Buck sits on the couch flipping the page of his book agonizingly slow, "He hasn't been on a date since Taylor and he's walking around like a wounded puppy, same way he was when Abby left him." She points out, it's a logical guess but not the right answer as the rest of the group hums in disagreement.

"No, no he's not lovesick- or else he wouldn't be reading romance novels. Buck doesn't read when he's upset, he just mopes around until he finds someone else to chase after, Chim, has Maddie said anything about their parents lately? Have they been doing therapy together?" Bobby asks though there's a tone of annoyance to his voice- he wants Buck to have a good relationship with his parents but the distaste for how they treated their children for years is still strong in him.

"Not really, they've been around a bit more because of Jee-Yun but they talk about her and not Buck. You think he's upset because of that?" Chimney answers with a shrug.

"Maybe, but he hasn't mentioned them at all lately...no news is good news at times." Hen counters, though not outright stated she shared in their captain's disdain for the Buckley sibling's parents. "He doesn't talk much about his therapy sessions a lot though- which I'm not saying is bad or wrong, he's entitled to that privacy, but sometimes I wish he'd just tell us what's on his mind." She huffed lightly.

"Any of you consider maybe he's just actually sick and not telling us because he can 'handle it.'?" Eddie offered his gaze completely trained on Buck, there's another bout of silence between the four in the kitchen as they mull over the suggestion. It would explain the slump in his attitude, the sudden change in his demeanor, the books he brings to distract from his illness- everything made sense.

"If he's sick then why doesn't he just go home and rest? We'll be fine without him." Chimney states to which Hen jabs him in the arm lightly, "Ouch! What was that for?" He grumbles rubbing his arm.

"Since when has Buck ever enjoyed being alone? Never. If he's not hanging out with one of us then he's with his girlfriend- which he doesn't have right now, so if he's sick he'd be alone. I promise you after his breakup being alone is the last thing he wants, sick or not." Hen mutters as Buck flips yet another page.

"Well...someone needs to make sure he's alright, and no offense but it's not going to be me. I am not bringing home anything that could get Jee sick." Chimney remarks as he puts his hands up in defense, which is a fair point between the four, the last thing you'd want to do is bring home a sickness to your own child. Before anyone else can make some kind of argument against casually checking in on Buck, Eddie rounds the corner of the island to check on the other, the rest of the crew immediately begin to do their best to act as nonchalant as possible- though it's almost painfully obvious they're all listening to the conversation.

"Hey Buck." Eddie greets and before the blond can even respond he's asking the question of the day, "Are you feeling alright?" This catches the other off-guard, was he alright? Was he alright? Did he not seem alright? Was he disturbing the rest of the 118? Or was this all just some kind of joke because he was reading? Something he didn't quite often do.

"Uh..yeah? Why?" Buck asked in confusion though the answer wasn't deemed acceptable by Eddie as suddenly there was a hand pressed against his forehead, he feels flushed and embarrassed- but he doesn't know why exactly. Is he sick? No, so why is he blushing? And why is his heart racing now? Plenty of people have checked his temperature like this before and yet he's never reacted this way.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? You feel pretty warm..." Eddie states cautiously his hand never leaving Buck's forehead.Of course he's warm- he's flustered! But why? Why is he so flustered? Why is it that when Eddie specifically puts his hand against his forehead he suddenly can't think coherently and his throat becomes dry- why is it he wants to lean further into the gentle touch? Why is it that his heart begins to race- oh.

Oh.

"Yeah..yeah. I'm good." Buck says with surprising ease for someone who just came to the earth-shattering realization that he was falling in love, if not completely in love already with his best friend.

Yeah, he's just great.

[fireemblems24]

Dimitri's Supports

I have waited FOREVER for this. Let's go. And I decided to put my patience to the test, saving Dedue for last.

Since it's Dimitri and I love him, and like Dedue who I also love, he's the only one unlocking all his A-Supports, I'm going to blog all my reactions to them like I did with Dedue. Part of me wishes I thought of this for the other characters, but honestly it would've taken forever lol. Plus Dimitri and Dedue get special treatment because I said so.

Raphael

Starting off with something light hearted, I hope. I do wonder if I'm going to regret not saving this one for the inevitably heavy-handed stuff coming later.

I'm seriously betting this is a support you're supposed to get in part 1 lol. Dimitri sounds young (or maybe I'm just haven't heard non-growl part 2 Dimitri enough yet?)

Dimitri's training made Raphael think he was dying lol. Dimitri's strength is really meme tier.

I need fanart of Dimitri and Chrom co-miserating their mishandled strength breaking something. And Lucina.

Lamo, Raphael has never felt a cramp before. Lucky bastard.

Raphael is a sweetie, going to apologize to his muscles. I really wish they gave him something else to talk about other than muscles and food. Not everyone needs Dimitri tier development, but I think I'd like Raphael a lot more if he just got a smidge more depth.

Got to say, it's a bit jarring to go from "moments away from a suicide charge in the rain" to "lol, Raphael, it's muscle pain." As glad as I am that I got this support, I do think some should've been locked to part 1.

And this isn't just for Dimitri's development. I also saw Marianne and Raphael's B before this support and she reverted back to her part 1 self too.

Catherine

Maybe it's just me, but he does sound a bit older.

OMG - Dimitri's back. 😭😭😭

Sorry, it didn't really hit in that first one since that seemed like a part 1 support.

Oh, cool! I was wondering if anyone would bring up Catherine returning to Faerghus. My bets is she's too loyal to Rhea. (I guessed right)

Catherine be simpin. That's ok, I get it.

So it's not because Catherine dislikes Dimitri, or that she's absolutely needed to rule House Charon, so I think Dimitri just likes her. She's cool though. I get it.

Lamo, she told him he'd better get his sleep like he's a kid.

Curious how the A+ support will play out.

Mercedes

Team Mom's support!

Oh, no, this one's taking a serious turn isn't it? But their initial supports were so light and cute.

Mercedes just told Dimitri that he's kind to a fault. Somehow I know he's going to deny that.

Annnnnd I'm right 😭😭😭He's still calling himself a killer and disgusting monster 😭😭😭

OK - so THIS seems perfectly in tone with his recent character development. But it's so sad hearing him still talk about himself that way.

Mercedes is such a therapist. I can't. She's too pure. But savage. I saw that Lorenz support.

"I am scared . . . so scared that I will forget their faces." 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Dimitri why????

Mercedes telling Dimitri to live in the present. Her supports are always so good. I legit think she's easily a top 10 favorite in this game.

Wow, Dimitri saying if someone told him that 5 years ago, he'd be different. DID NO ONE EVER GIVE HIM ANY HELP AT ALL???

I love how she's talking to him as a classmate, and equal, and not talking up to him. He's always wanted that.

Dimitri's never given his own dreams any thought 😭😭😭He really was just 100% living for other people most of the time. 😭😭😭

Awww MERCEDES, I can't. She says she just wants to keep being his friend. This is so damn sweet. And heavy. But still sweet.

It just hits super hard knowing how badly Dimitri just wanted friends in part 1. And looking back, Mercedes and Sylvain were really the only two who were pretty casual with him.

Aww, yeah, Mercedes not putting up with the bullshit, Dimitri. Telling him to quit the self-deprecation! God, I love her.

Oh, God, they both said the old FE code for "we're married" i.e. I want to "stay by your side."

Ok, @garlandgerard, I totally get why you ship this. Mercedes loves to nurture people, and Dimitri's emotionally needy, so they match pretty well. She also didn't put up with the constant self-put-downs, but stayed gentle about it. And they talked like equals too, like friends, which is what Dimitri always wanted. It's all very sweet.

Annette

Yeah, see, this one starts off with "your highness," but Mercedes it was just Dimitri. No hate for Annette. She's my girl.

These two always give me sibling vibes.

Haha, Annette "I thought I already knew you, but I'm not sure I really do." Hmmmm wonder what Dimitri did that made her think that maybe there's parts of him she didn't know. No. idea.

Hey, Annette, no one blames you for not knowing what to say to Dimitri when they reunited lol.

Annette too pure too, wanting to cheer Dimitri up with his favorite food.

Her not knowing what he likes to eat is 100% that moment when you realize you don't know someone's favorite color.

HOW can Dimitri have no strong feelings about food. I'm having pizza right now. Let me tell you, I have strong feelings about some food.

I love how easily Dimitri deflected from talking about himself lol.

Awwww, Annette wants to live with her family again. I'll make that happen, Annette. Don't worry.

Haha, they're conspiring together behind Gilbert's back.

They still have an A+ support, which is weird, because that seemed pretty well ended? Like I see why Catherine's needed more, but not this one. Still, not going to say no. I like their dynamic.

Ingrid

OCF they're training. God I love all the Faerghus childhood group though.

Oh, fuck, here comes Glenn again. My heart's not ready for this with Rodrigue dead. Poor Felix.

Ingrid being Dimitri's knight 😊😊😊 as it should be.

Haha, Dimitri asks her for an interpretation. Just make her your knight.

Glad he hasn't started saying "I'm not worthy!" Because right now it's about Ingrid's feelings.

Wow, there, Ingrid. "However you please, Your Highness." That . . . that sounds like an invitation. To "staying by your side."

Dimitri laughed. 😊😊😊

Oh, God, this is so cute. His pause asking her to support and defend him as his knight. 😊😊😊 OMG. I'm not sure that's all she had in mind though, good Sir, have you LOOKED in the mirror?

Seriously though, Ingrid's just surrounded by studs, isn't she?

Oh, God, I'm right. She didn't just mean knight. But Dimitri's too dense in that area to notice. She crushing hard. Girl, I get you.

She blushing, saying "for the Kingdom," naw, she just like him. Me too, Ingrid. Me too.

Dimitri always makes people promise not to die on him. It's so sad considering . . .

Flayn

With Flayn it's always a toss up. Sometimes things are super light hearted, and other times it's way heavy.

On a random note, does no one wonder why Flayn hasn't aged a day in 5 years?

Flayn having nightmares. Not allowed. I bet it's fucking Jeritza's fault. I'm glad you get to rip him a new one so many times in this game.

Why is Flayn apologizing?? She's never done a thing wrong in her life.

Right, Flayn's other support with Dimitri was pretty heavy. And it started so funny with him stomaching her food.

Oh, good grief, what's he apologizing for? Ok - so Dimitri did do some things wrong. But not to Flayn.

He lied. Let me guess. Her food actually sucks.

Aw, got it. He went right to the meal. Is he really going to come out and say, well it actually sucked 😂

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE MEALS???? AND THE TEA an embarrassing amount of tea.

Wait. He can't taste ANYTHING??? Like. How? Did he hide that????

Ok - I need to look at his team and dining dialogue.

OMG. He really never says a word about how anything tastes? He always just talks about smells????

OMG. How did I NOT NOTICE. I've taken Dimitri to dinner a million times. And tea timed him too many times to admit too.

AND I NEVER NOTICED HE NEVER ONCE SAID HOW ANYTHING TASTED. HOW.

OMG that support with Annette hits different now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OMG and Dedue's support with Flayn hits different now. Since he wanted to badly to find food Dimitri loves 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Does Dedue know? Is that why he's so dedicated to cooking??

Can I headcannon that?

OMG, I feel so awful about that jab about pizza. Dimitri CAN'T TASTE pizza or anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Please someone tell me there isn't any more "this awful thing also happened to Dimitri and he's failed to tell you" like learning he almost fucking died at Duscur. And now this. Dimitri needs to learn how to fucking complain.

The writers are so fucking mean to Dimitri. OMG. OMG, how am I supposed to take him to dinner and tea now, knowing this?

Why does everything hit so differently now? And so many Blue Lions supports are about food - but Dimitri can't relate

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This game needs to stop bullying Dimitri.

But like, God, can you imagine? Not tasting anything? I'd starve. I'd actually starve. I never really get hungry. I really would starve.

On the flip side, he's good for Flayn then, since someone can eat her cooking I guess.

"I was just saying what I thought you would want to hear . . ." Dimitri - a summary.

Naw, that's a kind lie. That kind of lie doesn't really hurt anyone.

Oh - dear God. Flayn. Stop. No sampling pungent food.

Oh, she blushing. Dimitri got her blushing

Please tell me in their paired ending Dimitri gets his taste back.

Oh, there's an A+, does he taste something. Please tell me he tastes something.

This support though. It wasn't really one on my radar but

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Gilbert

Oh, man, this one right after Flayn's. God, I'm going to need the Alois one after this. Gilbert and Dimitri are two of the most somber characters in the franchise.

And I haven't forgotten that heartbreaking B support.

Haha Lambert sucked at lying too. Dimitri too pure. Weirdly, despite everything, it's still pretty true.

Oh, shit, oh shit, we're back to Dimitri's demand that Gilbert kill him. I'm betting you usually get that in part 2.

God, imagine seeing Dimitri recover only to see him beg for death again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I need alcohol.

I need the Alois support.

OMG, shit, Dimitri. No. Don't. Stop.

Like, I know Gilbert won't really kill him, but damn. This support is heavy.

No, Dimitri, no Gilbert is not cruel for not killing you. God.

Oh, not sure about this. I get what Gilbert's going at here, but telling Dimitri that he's not allowed to die because he's got a duty is . . . I think Rodrigue's and Mercedes' live for what you want/the present is a LOT healthier.

At the same time, this is a pretty effective way to make sure Dimitri won't go and try this again, because he really takes duty seriously.

Dimitri doesn't wish to die? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, thank God.

"Many times I have felt that I cannot afford to die . . . But this was the first time I truly feared the prospect." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Is it really right for me to live?" Oh, dear God. I'm so soft for Dimitri. I can't.

Gilbert answered that one right. 100%.

Damn, these supports.

Alois

OK. I need this one. I really need this one.

I really hope Alois' inspiration is bad puns. I need bad puns right now.

Pretty sure this is a part 1 support though. I love how Alois, not Dimitri, is leading this. And that the person the Kingdom NEEDS is running around and getting attacked by monsters lol

Ok, bad puns. Bring them.

There we go. Thank you, thank you, Alois.

OMG no one's laughing 😂😂😂

Dimitri's laughing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

That's it. This is always getting saved for part 2. I need to hear part 2 Dimitri laugh.

I'm also so glad someone finds Alois funny. Dimitri and Petra need to start a club.

OMG I love the two other confused soldiers. I needed this 😂😂😂

Marianne

These two were so sweet in their C and B supports.

I swear I'm going to end up shipping Dimitri with everyone. Except maybe Annette, no hate, they just seem so much like brother and sister to me.

And Felix x Annette 100%

Survivor's Guilt - the pairing. Both wondering why they survived 😭😭😭

"There are so many others who are much more deserving of life . . ." - who said it? Marianne or Dimitri?

These two just understand how each other feels so well. It hits so different compared to Marianne's other romantic possible supports where they just try to make her smile.

Instead these two take comfort in finding someone who understands how they feel so well and feel relieved they can share that with someone.

Haha - "I must go on living. I cannot give in to death so readily." This coming right after his support with Gilbert. Good job, Gilbert.

They've both had it so rough 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"There is no need to force yourself to smile as your soul bleeds." Dimitri always gives such good advice that he never follows.

Aww, now at least it's getting cute instead of just heavy. Marianne laughed too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yesss, Girl, preach. I got a little sick of her other supports all being "cheer up!" Like I know it's all in good faith, but I'm so glad this chain exists. It just hits different.

Dimitri doesn't think he's strong enough to live his life. 😭😭😭 this game. I swear.

ohhhh - ohhh, Dimitri blushing now. And all she needed to say was they've been brought closer together. Congrats Marianne!

OHHHH tables have been turned. Now someone's making Dimitri promise he needs to live!

"I don't know what I'd do with myself if we lost you . . ."

"I promise to the goddess of Fodlan that I will never give you cause for despair."

OMG these two are being so sweet, I can't. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

Felix

Oh, boy, here we go. This should be . . . interesting.

Oh, we're starting off good I see. Felix telling Dimitri he needs to answer quickly or get cut in half 😔Felix. No.

Dimitri sounds so somber 😭

Dimitri admitting both are him - the vengeful "boar" and the friendly good person. And this is why I love him.

Dimitri feels the need to shoulder all the regret the dead feel, please don't. They wouldn't want that 😭😭😭😭😭

"The dead won't acknowledge your loyalty, they don't care." - Felix not wrong there.

I partly agree with the idea Dimitri is "serving his own ego" by claiming he's acting for the dead. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, but I think that's part of it.

Felix saying some good stuff here about the dead being dead and the living being living.

"If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you'll snap." - Felix, I don't know if you noticed but . . . uh . . . he sort of did.

Felix telling Dimitri to become a grave keeper is a bit funny. Not going to lie.

"I'm not immune to emotion you know." - just tsunderes things

Aw, Felix is upset his father died 😭😭 after all that shit-talking about Rodrigue 😭😭

Wish Felix didn't cut Dimitri off when he said "more than anyone you-" (care about other people, unless he joins CF and just kills everyone)

Oh, God, Felix is such a tsundere. "I couldn't stand the pathetic look on your face. That's all." Sure, Felix.

Kinda wish these two had an A+ though. Seems like there's more to do than the A+ with Annette and Flayn.

Really curious to see what their paired ending is like after that. Seems they're still learning to learn about each other. Well, Felix is. Dimitri didn't seem too upset lol.

Dedue

Ok guys. Here we go. I can't believe I managed to wait for this for last. Everyone hyped this one, so let's hope.

Really? We open with Dimitri having scars on his back? 😭

From 9 years ago? So scars from Duscur then?

Images of shirtless Dimitri now. though Not bad images.

He got scars protecting Dedue?

"It makes me think that is was worthwhile that someone like me survived." 😭😭😭 he's talking about protecting Dedue? 😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"But I saved someone - saved you. That and that alone has been my crutch." 😭😭😭😭😭

I always knew these two were co-dependent.

Dimitri really out here saying that saving Dedue helped him "justify" surviving. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

OMG THAT'S THEIR STORY

OMG, poor Dedue. And Dimitri 😭😭😭did he literally "take a bullet" to save Dedue 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and still has scars? No wonder Dedue's so loyal. Some kid he didn't know did that. That's one hell of an introduction.

And picturing little Dedue just resigned and angry and waiting to die and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, Dedue, you've repaid that debt ten-fold I'm sure.

Ahaha, Dimitri's doing the "you'd better accept your worth!" discussion this time lol.

Dear God these two. Now Dimitri's bringing up that Dedue busted him out of the jail.

I swear, these two have more of a plot off screen than some routes do on screen.

And now picturing Dimitri resigned and just ready to die. And then Dedue busts in. 😭😭😭

"That was nothing more than my duty as your vassal." Stop that Dedue. Dimitri doesn't want you to be his vassal. He wants more.

Holy shit.

"You are irreplaceable. Cherished." 😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊

Not to be that person - but I tell all my "friends" that.

Yes, Dedue, stop saying insisting you're just a "vassal" - that's a worse joke than Alois' puns from earlier.

"Please . . . do not look at me that way." What way, like you're about to make Dimitri cry, or like . . .

"You promised me you would build a Kingdom that is proud to boast of Duscur blood." - shit, man, these two. I just . . .

OMG so much emotion from Dedue. The only time I ever heard that before was in VW when he learned Dimitri died. But let's not remember that right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh shit. He called him "Dimitri." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

And it made him blush.

OMG.

Guys, these two.

Aww, Dimitri looks so surprised. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

Oh, these two are so soft for each other. I can't. I just can't.

"To be your friend . . . is what I have always wanted." You're going to get it.

Man, I feel almost guilty S-Supporting Dimitri. He needs to pair up with Dedue pronto.

Dimitri sounds chocked up. OMG.

"So please call upon me when you walk alone at night." Ok. Dedue. Ok. Yes. Guys. This is all very straight.

I'm not saying it's - you know - cannon, but there's some big feels here.

Oh, Dimitri, stop it. You like Dedue's overprotectiveness. Don't lie.

Man, you guys were so right. Dimitri really just came out and said Dedue was "cherished" and "irreplaceable." Like, I'm not making this stuff up. And Dedue blushing hardcore just saying Dimitri's name.

They're both just so soft. I can't. I literally cannot. This support was gold. It was worth all they hype.

And learning more about how they meant. Dimitri really taking a bullet for Dedue there. I just . . .

I just want all the happiness for both of them. They're really something special towards each other. Like I legitimately think this is one of the most two-way loyal relationships in the whole franchise, and definitely the tightest bond in this game.

Like in past games you had Seth for Ephraim and Erikia and Soren for Ike and it's not like Ike, Ephraim and Erikia and etc don't care, but it wasn't the same level, you know? But this is such a two way street.

And I'm so weak for bodyguard with a crush. Like Seth/Eirika? Yes. Geoffrey/Elincia? 100%. Riza/Roy (Fullmetal Alchemist) there again. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top ones. Even Merlin/Arthur sort of counts even if Arthur doesn't know Merlin's his bodyguard lol.

I need to read fanfic for these two. I really don't want to spoil anything, but I'm dying. They're both just so sweet, and I just really love their dynamic. I really want to do a write up on it once I get to the end of the game.

[1rintooru]

hq!! boys and why you broke up

if love is supposed to feel good, then why does it hurt so much? Well, love isn't always easy... these are just the reasons why I think these boys would end up as the ones that got away... Part 1/x??

Starring: Oikawa Tooru, Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, Lev Haiba and Suna Rintarou

a/n: plsss i made myself sad with this, so now i gotta pass it onto you rip😭💀 the characters are also completely random so this might end up having multiple parts... 👀

Oikawa: contrary to popular belief, I think Oikawa would care a lot for the relationship. If it isn’t volleyball that’s the major burden on the relationship, then it’s his insecurity. Truth is, he’s very fragile. It’ll become incredibly draining to have to constantly reassure him that yes, you’re happy in the relationship; yes, he’s enough; yes, you love him and no, you’re not cheating. He has a tendency to dump his problems onto you with this unsaid expectation for you to fix all his issues. It’s tiresome to constantly walk on eggshells in order to not hurt his pride while simultaneously not triggering his inferiority complex. It feels like you’re only there to repair him and you begin to feel more like his therapist. The relationship is very suffocating behind the picture-perfect façade he posts on his socials.

Hinata: it’s when his positivity turns toxic. He’s eager, ambitious and optimistic – almost to a fault. Hinata is incredibly uplifting and supportive on good days. Perhaps that’s because he believes there are only good days. Any mishap, misfortune or worry is something he’ll disregard and easily brush off. He won’t really understand your concerns or anxieties and he’ll only wonder why you can’t look on the bright side. His gentle remarks to “think positively” will turn impatient and annoyed as he tells you to “snap out of it” and “it’s all in your head.” This mindset might work for him, but it silences you and it’s a slow death for the relationship from there on out.

Kageyama: it’s an age old saying, but communication really is key in any relationship. It’s not that he doesn’t care – he does… he cares so, so much but it’s hard for him to find the right words. Kageyama struggles to communicate what he needs and wants and it often feels like a guessing game with him. He’s grown a lot since he went to Karasuno High, but certain traits still linger. He expects you to just know exactly what he’s thinking or how he feels with just how he looks at you. He’s too stubborn to be fully transparent and slowly resents how you aren’t able to read his mind. Things always work out in volleyball, why isn’t that the case here? Naturally, this is what drives a wedge into your relationship…

Tsukishima: you knew what you were getting yourself into when you started dating this salty brat. In the beginning the teasing was always fun and lighthearted but over time the light jabs would become more cutting. Your arguments are cruel and petty; he knew his words would hit a nerve since that’s why he would say them in first place. He’ll try and disguise it as a joke but you know that he meant what he said. It becomes hard to open up to him knowing that he might weaponize your insecurities against you. In the end, the relationship feels like a mean-spirited competition instead of solving your conflict.

Lev: god, Lev is just a child at heart, isn’t he? He has a big heart and an even bigger mouth. He’s a sweet talker but it doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s still pretty clueless when it comes to dating and relationships. You don’t want his flowers because you were the one who mentioned wanting them in first place. You don’t want to go on a date if it means you have to remind him every couple of days. Even smaller things, like reminding him to unload the dishwasher or to not mix colors and whites in the laundry become incredibly tedious over time. Dating him is truly like dating a golden retriever puppy. He isn’t interested in the boring stuff and Lev is just too much of a man-child to handle a serious adult relationship.

Suna: a classic case of right person – wrong time. It's as though you both just know you’re meant for each other, but things never really work out as planned. Perhaps neither was ready to commit to a relationship or the idea was intimidating; long-distance wasn’t appealing to either of you or you were in a relationship when he as single and he was stuck on his toxic ex when you reached out again. You have such a deep mutual respect and understand each other better than anyone else.  It's hard to be mad when you share such similar life experiences, but damn, it still hurts every single time when things don’t work out how they should.

[hanoella]

Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence

Part 3 Word Count: 3k

A/N: Can you tell I don't really have a posting schedule? lol. I also introduced links to the specific pieces I had in mind. I'm using soundcloud because I don't think everyone has access to spotify. Trying to be reader friendly! This can be read with or without the audio, as I do my best to still convey the thought in the fic. Though if you can, I highly recommend :)

Thanks again for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful

Read Part 1; Masterlist

---

A few days had passed since the night that Bucky had overheard your troubles. It had been quiet since, and you hadn’t left the house. The curtains were opened during the day and closed at night, the only telltale signs that you existed.

Doesn’t she have to work? Bucky thought to himself. He speculated all the different possibilities as he used the riding mower around the property. Maybe you were an heiress? You seemed pretty down to earth though. Or maybe you sold a patented idea for a ton of money. All this land had to have been expensive. And to not request actual money from him?

He eyed up the width of the gate for your fence. The riding mower couldn’t fit so he would have to use a push mower for your fenced off yard. He hadn’t seen one in the garage. Maybe the old shed at the back of your yard had one? Bucky parked the mower in the garage, taking a moment to make a mental list of everything. Depending on if he found anything in the shed, he might need to buy a few basic tools and a chainsaw for that fallen tree.

He walked out of the garage and over to the shed. The leaves were changing color and it brought a whole new atmosphere to the secluded forest area. Opening the gate of the weathered white fence, he looked around to see if you were out. No signs of life. Entering the yard and closing the gate behind him, he started walking to the back. Halfway through, he stopped at the fire pit. The grey stone blocks were starting to crumble, with a few of the bricks having fallen off. It would probably be really nice if he got a little bit of cement mix and filled in the gaps. Bucky made another mental note.

The shed had no padlock so he was able to open it with no problem. Amongst the cobwebs and bags of soil, was an older green push mower that looked like it might work. He gave the gas a pull and got no response back. Looking underneath, Bucky saw what might be the problem. He’d have to take a closer look later. Putting the lawn mower back onto its wheels, he pushed it across the yard, pausing when he saw movement though the glass doors of the back patio.

Craning his neck to avoid the glare, he saw you sitting at your fancy full keyboard. The way the piano was against the opposite wall, your back was to him. You had big over-ear headphones plugged into it, so he couldn’t hear the sound but he saw the flurry of keys being pressed down. Whatever you were playing, you played passionately. Hands and arms gracefully moved despite the speed at which they were moving. Enhanced hearing coming into play, he heard the muffled clicks of the fluttering keys. Suddenly, you pressed down forcefully, holding whatever chord you had struck as your shoulders gently relaxed. A deep breath. Arm creating a graceful arc as if you had studied ballet, you pressed gently on another chord. And another. Bucky counted three more times you did this before you let your hands gently fall from the keys to your lap. Several moments passed before slid the headphones off of your ears to sit wrapped around your neck. Another deep breath. This time as the breath escaped you, you stayed slouched, head tilting up to stare at nothing on the wall.

A buzz broke Bucky from his trance.

“Call me, new mission” The text from Sam on his home screen said.

He pocketed his phone, glancing through the glass one more time. There you still sat.

Unmoving.

---

The roar of the plane’s engine was just loud enough to drown out Bucky’s thoughts without being annoying. If it weren’t for the adrenaline of the recovery mission under the cover of nightfall, he probably would’ve been lulled to sleep. Beside him sat Sam, looking on his phone for the exact coordinates of the politician they had been sent to rescue.

“Here it is. I’m assuming there’s some sort of underground base since there are no heat signatures anywhere within the radius where he was taken. It should take us about ten more minutes before we’re directly over it.”

Bucky hummed in acknowledgement.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Earth to Bucky.”

“What does your friend do?” Bucky asked suddenly, sitting up straighter and turning towards him.

“… What?”

“What does she do? I’ve never seen her leave the house. Is she okay?”

“If you’re asking why she doesn’t leave the house, it’s because her contract doesn’t start for a while. She’s technically still supposed to be in physical therapy but she hasn’t found a place yet. You know, your whole routine gets messed up when you move.”

“For her shoulder?”

Now it was Sam’s turn to look at Bucky, trying to decipher the motive behind these questions. Bucky shifted his weight in the chair, antsy under the scrutiny.

“Never mind, I-”

“Yes, for her shoulder.” Sam said, cutting him off. He stopped himself from asking why Bucky wanted to know. There was an awkward pause before Bucky explained himself.

“I just wanted to know. I’m not used to seeing people so…”

“Similar to yourself?”

“I was gonna say isolated but fair point.” Bucky admitted. Sam leaned back in his chair, looking straight forward.

“She’s been through a lot… I know you heard some of it.”

Bucky blinked in surprise.

“I realized the window was open when I could hear you drive off.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright, it’s good that you know.” Sam said as he held up his hand to cut Bucky off.

“She’s just trying to get a fresh start. She’s in a raw emotional space and in the meantime is a little skittish. Just like someone else I know.” Sam jabbed his elbow into Bucky’s side as he enunciated the last sentence.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’m trying!” He shouted as he held one hand up defensively and using the other to block the second jab Sam was trying to get in. Sam chuckled and then stood up, grabbing a parachute pack and tossing it at Bucky, who caught it without even looking.

“Figured you might wanna try an actual chute this time.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and mouthed Sam’s words mockingly with a grimace as he put the backpack on. Clipping it into place, he joined Sam at the side door of the plane.

“She used to play in an orchestra you know.” Sam said wistfully. “The piano. That’s actually how we met. She had volunteered to play a small concert before the dinner. It really helped raise a lot of money for the VA.”

Bucky stayed silent, prompting him to continue.

“Then that bastard she was engaged to beat her and then shoved her down a set of concrete steps when she tried to leave him. It was like a month after we all came back. She was in the hospital for a while. Broken ribs, broken shoulder, and a nasty concussion to boot. Neighbor saw the whole thing and called the cops but the courts were so backed up and the case fell through the cracks. Wouldn’t leave her alone after he got out. So, I pulled some strings and helped her move down here on the fly.”

“… That’s terrible.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say or how to react. They stood in silence, taking a moment to pay a respect of sorts to the trials you have been through. Then Sam broke the silence.

“She just needs time to heal in more ways than one. But she’s strong. Resilient.”

Putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, he squeezed it lightly with reassurance.

“Reminds me of someone else I know.” Sam said, finishing the conversation and pulling his goggles over his eyes, giving Bucky the opportunity to take the compliment without feeling too on the spot.

Pulling the door open, Sam shouted over the wind.

“Ready?”

Bucky nodded. Sam jumped from the plane and deployed the wings, the shield shining in the moonlight. Bucky jumped right behind him, using the glint of the silver star to guide his descent as he followed the man that gave the shield its meaning.

---

You laid with your head down on the kitchen table, letting the last golden rays of sun warm the side of your face. You were exhausted from going to physical therapy, especially since today had been the first appointment. All the measurements, all the exercises, all the stretching.

All the questions.

“So, how did you break your shoulder?” the young blonde physical therapist asked.

“Ah, I… fell down some stairs.” You said, looking down at your hands in your lap.

She didn’t look up from the papers, instead just raising an eyebrow.

“You also cracked some ribs and had a concussion?”

“… They were concrete.”

She looked up from the papers at you, analyzing. Her gaze softened and she asked no further questions on how these serious injuries had been obtained.

“Let’s look at your range of motion.”

You had practically stumbled into the house, kicking off your sneakers and plopping down at the kitchen table. Minutes passed by as you regained your breath, heartbeat steadying. The house was slightly cold since you had turned the heat down this morning. As your sweat cooled, you wrapped your arms around your legs in an attempt to keep you warm without getting up.

The sun feels so warm… You thought to yourself drowsily, feeling slightly less lonely. The sun was a cheap substitute for the warmth of a partner…

---

You jolted upright, the kitchen dark and cold. Neck and shoulder stiff from the awkward position you had dozed off in. Feeling the dryness of your mouth, you got up, stretching your neck gently while you walked to the fridge to get water. Chugging about half the bottle, you squinted at the clock. You had been asleep for about forty-five minutes. Groaning, you put the bottle down on the counter and walked into the living room to close the curtains. Grabbing one in each hand, you went to pull them together when you hesitated, noticing that Bucky’s apartment was dark for the third day in a row. The sleek motorbike that was usually parked under the slight overhang of the garage was missing as well.

He was probably on a mission, right? Not that it was any of your business. You shut the curtains and turned off the lights before lightly padded down the hall, stopping to adjust the thermostat. The heat kicked on, sending a puff of cold air your way. You shivered as you walked with a quickened pace to your room, shutting the door and heading into the master bathroom, turning the hot water on with just a tad of cold.

Waiting for the shower to warm up, you leaned over the sink and looked into the mirror. Dark circles under your eyes. Small scar on the bridge of your nose. Running your hand through the roots of your hair, you felt for the scar where the stitches had been. When was the last time you had a haircut? Or put on some makeup?

Some higher being must’ve felt pity for you since the steam from the shower fogged the glass, preventing you from tearing yourself apart any further. Stepping underneath the warm stream, you let the warmth seep into your muscles, then bones, filling every fracture and break with a temporary sense of wholeness until the emptiness of your heart and home caused it slowly to drip out until it, along with you, was gone.

---

The next morning, you weren’t motivated to do anything. You lounged around the house, sipping on coffee and browsing on your phone for furniture, clothes, even sneaking a peak at some pianos. Wanting to invest in one you’d use for the next several decades, you had put off buying one until the money from your contract with the orchestra started in a month. You were still well off, nowhere near struggling and probably wouldn’t ever be unless you decided to buy a mansion (which was a no). You just wanted to be careful.

In the afternoon, you popped a pain killer and muscle relaxer in preparation for the few hours you wanted to practice. Thirty minutes went by and the ever-present ache in your shoulder calmed enough to let you practice with relative peace. Sitting on the bench in front of the keyboard, you pondered what you might play to warm up.

Hmm, maybe a Chopin prelude? Short, emotional, familiar.

Your left hand held the soft deep chords as your right hand softly flitted around the higher notes. Breathing in and out with the music, you tried to ignore the ache that start to surround your shoulder.

Playing the last few notes, you paused before reaching over to the bottle of painkillers.

---

Shortly after finishing up, you dragged a small table outside next to the wooden bench swing that was hanging on the porch. Bundled up in a soft sweatshirt, long-sleeve shirt, wool lined leggings, fuzzy socks and slippers, you brought out your hot tea, several blankets, a pillow, and a book you had been meaning to read for months. You were determined to do something besides practice, watch TV, and scroll on your phone.

You settled onto the bench, wrapping the blanket around you, nice and toasty from the layers trapping in the heat of a thorough practice session. The extra medication had really helped keep the pain at bay. Tentatively sipping the steaming cup, you closed your eyes to further appreciate the sweet tones of peach and honey. Setting the cup in your lap with one hand, you used your other hand to flip open to the first page.

---

Bucky hadn’t expected the mission to get so complicated. Finding the base was one thing, navigating in and out of the expansive maze was another. It took a few days to successfully get the target out and back to the embassy. He hadn’t properly slept during that time due to taking shifts with Sam. Not that it was any different from how he slept at home.

The sun was letting its last few rays bless the earth when he turned onto the driveway. Taking it easy on the gravel, he eased his posture and slowed the bike. He put pressure on the brakes as he made it past the final wall of trees that hid the water that was reflecting the last bit of color left in the sky. Rolling casually into a stop, he parked and let out a deep breath, shoulders sinking.

A stray bird calling out turned his attention in the direction of your house. The porch light was on. That’s new, he thought. Squinting his eyes, he saw a bundle on the porch swing. Was that you? Quietly walking over while taking his leather gloves off, he confirmed his suspicions. There you were, lying on your side propped up by a large fuzzy pillow. Eyes closed and breathing rhythmically. Scanning the scene, he noticed the mug on the side table, empty except for the used teabag. Your book was closed, the page you were on marked by one of your fingers. You must’ve fallen asleep while reading.

“Hey…” Bucky said gently. No response besides a small nose scrunch.

He repeated himself a little louder, squatting to be at eye level while gently setting his hand on your arm and shaking you lightly. You groaned this time, eyes fluttering open, taking a moment to focus. You squinted and pushed yourself up into a sitting position, losing your place in the book and attempting to blink the heavy drowsiness from your eyes.

“Bucky?” You questioned hoarsely as you met his eyes. He was still crouching so you were looking slightly down at him. Brow furrowed, you searched the blue of his eyes before looking around to see how dark it had gotten. As you turned your head back to him, he stood back up, scratching the back of his neck just to occupy his hands.

“It’s starting to get cold. I didn’t want you to spend the rest of the night out here.” He explained, choosing to look out at the water, now dark. When he turned his head back, you had also turned your head to look at the water, exposing the side of your neck, the tendons and clavicle accentuated by the strain. Bucky swallowed and your eyes met his, oblivious.

“Ah, thank you. I must’ve fallen asleep reading. I just started going back to physical therapy so I’ve just been so wiped… Anyway,” you said, dismissing yourself mid-thought. He didn’t want to hear about all that. “…did you just come back from a mission?” You eyed the diagonal cuts of leather on his jacket, noting the missing sleeve that exposed the glint of the metal.

“Yeah. I was gone for a few days.”

“Okay. I’m glad you’re home safe.” You mindlessly said, picking up the book and other various items strewn about.

Home safe. What an unfamiliar phrase.

As the words echoed in his mind, you had opened the door and stepped in, turning your head slightly to look back at him.

“Thanks again… Good night.”

“Good night.” Bucky replied, watching as you shut the door softly behind you.

Slowly walking down the porch steps, he crossed the driveway to the garage. Turning his head just in time to see the last light turn off in your house, he stood with his hand on the knob, meditating on the effect that one short sentence had on him.

Glad you’re home safe. Was this what it was like when you had someone waiting on you at home? The tired eyes and gentle smile. Would that be what it was like when he came home in the middle of a night from a mission when he had someone to share a bed with? Gently shaking them to let them know he was home? Or would he try to sneak into bed without waking them? He tried to imagine what that sort of intimacy would be like as he entered his apartment and then his room. Unzipping his jacket and tossing it over a chair, he stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed into bed, wondering what it would be like if it was already warm.

[lesdreams-author]

Pregnant Lisa mini fic part 11 ( what should I call it since Lisa isn't pregnant been a while?)

...Three years later...

╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭

They have been searching for any sign of Alice and the mysterious Fatui group. It has been two years searching for any track of the witch to a year ago find out her body in a ditch. She was badly injured but her body was preserved by the cold in the dragon spine.

Lisa was shocked and very sad, Jean felt numb and they tried to explain to Klee what happened.

Klee didn't understand completely but somehow it seems like it was a closure to the girl because it's been a year since she started to call they mom.

It's still makes Jean feel too much emotions, jumbled out emotions but she is getting better.

Because Klee seems to like her enough, seems to like hug her when she comes home from work and seems to like throw herself in Jean's lap every opportunity she has.

( ꈍᴗꈍ)( ꈍᴗꈍ)( ꈍᴗꈍ)

They have tried to explore the dragon spine, tried to find the Fatui group. They know the Fatui is hiding in the dragon spine because there's clue they found trough the years. However the region is too cold, too dangerous and often more men are lost than any new proof of their hidings.

It's why she is shocked to receive a letter from one of her captains. Eula sends her a letter telling her to come to the dragon spine because they found out where the Fatui are, where their lab was built and they request reinforcement before going inside.

She grabs a rucksack and fills it with enough warm clothes and supplies. She is going in with her men, she needs to see what is going on.

It's how Lisa finds her, arms loaded with blankets and coats.

L: " are we going in a trip to Snezhnaya? I thought our countries didn't get along."

It's a joke, she knows but also a way of ask her what is going on and why the hell Jean didn't talk with her.

Their marriage are in better terms than before but while before they didn't argue - even less talked about stuff -, now they fight for trivial things most of the time.

Every time they try to talk about their fears and grief they end fighting for nothing. She knows it's her fault as well as Lisa's but she can't stop attacking while feeling vulnerable. Their therapist is always trying to make they stop or distance themselves before a fight breaks out but it's often doesn't work.

She shuts her instinct to jab or argue about Lisa's irony and instead sighs.

J: " Eula found the Fatui's lab."

She doesn't need to say anything anymore because understandment downs on Lisa's face. She walks to the bed and sits on it, eyes serious and on her.

L: " and you are going."

It's not posed as a question but Jean chooses to answer as if was.

J: " yes. I'm leaving in a few minutes with a troop. We are going to invade the lab and stop them."

She hears Lisa's sigh, exhausted. She focus on pack the rest of her things.

L: " was you going to tell me or i would know when I searched for you and didn't find you?"

Jean sighs and turns around, watching Lisa for a second before join her on the bed. She takes a sit and exhales.

J: " I'm sorry...I just got the message and...it's a big thing."

L: " it's always is those days, Jean. Always."

Jean knows that. Knows she has worked so much that she is barely at home, knows Klee misses her everyday - every morning the little girl will jump on her arms and ask her why she didn't tuck her on the bed, why she wasn't here to help her on her homework after school and Jean will always smiles shakily and says she was protecting the city. And it is partially true but not completely. She could do better, she could work from home and make some time to her family but some days it's still too hard to look at this child and her wife and don't remember of a time when she still dreamed and hoped for the growth of a baby. - and that Lisa disapproves her behavior.

J: " I'm sorry"

She says again for lack of a better excuse. She watches through the corner of her eyes Lisa shake her head and get up from the bed.

L:" just...Just make sure you come back alive. Klee would be devastated if something happened to you."

It pains her that Lisa doesn't say it would hurt her too, that Jean's absence would be felt for her too.

However she can't dwell on it, she has a troop waiting for her at the city's gate and her captain waiting for her arrival.

So she nods and rises too, grabs her rucksack and goes out of the room.

She is almost at the front door when it's open and she hears loud voices.

K: " Grandma, Grandma did you know Klee can hold her breath for thirty seconds under water!?"

The childish voice is excited and joyful. At the door her mother looks at the blonde girl and smiles, keys on hands.

F: " really!? It's so amazing, Klee!"

Frederica sounds amused, proud and warm as she has never been while Jean was a little girl.

Klee puffs her little chest and smiles smugly. Her blonde hair is curling at the ends, where water drips slowly in her blouse. She is wearing a cute overall set that Barbara gifted her last month - her sister keeps getting presents for Klee just because. Every month or so the little girl will receive a gift, often toys or clothes and every time Klee will gasp excitedly as she didn't expected for this routine thing. -, she is pretty sure Klee jus came from her swim classes.

When the pair go I side the house they see her with her rucksack on the shoulder. Her mother lifts a disapproving eyebrow and Klee runs to her, arms opened and smile on her face.

K: " Mamaaaa!"

Jean has only time to drop her bag and then she is holding Klee, lifting the girl to her hip and returning the tight hug.

She smells like water - not salty water like the beaches but something more light. She was probably on the river with the others children from her class. - and something sweet. She wonders if her mother fed Klee ice cream. She usually bends to whatever the little girl asks. She wonders if Klee will manage to have a normal size dinner and almost rolls her eyes because Lisa doesn't get too bothered by her mother or Barbara spoiling Klee's dinner, not like Jean at least. Doesn't matter how much she talks with Barbara or Frederica, they always does what they want. And for her wife the important is that Klee is healthy and happy.

She suppresses a sigh and looks at her mother.

F: " where are you going?"

She sighs and kisses Klee's head, the little girl big eyes finally looking at her and paying attention to the adults talk.

K: " mama, you going away? Can Klee go to"

Her brown, big eyes are excited and Jean feels a stab of guilty for deny her again - she has denied Klee so many times when the little one asks to go with her to trips and missions outside the city. She always says it's too dangerous but maybe it's not entirely true, maybe she just want to be away for a while, without the loving eyes of a child that she loves and at the same time fear. She is always scared some day Klee will reject her, will go away, will disappear from their lives just like the little baby who left them years and years ago. She can't shake this feeling, can't forget the past like her wife seems to be able to. - for having to smile plastically and say goodbye.

J: " I have a mission in the dragon spine. I will come back as soon I can, I promise."

She feels more than see her mother roll of eyes, the disapproval dripping from her blue eyes, the press of her mouth.

Klee seems a little bit disappointed, shoulders dropping for a second. But then she looks at Jean and hugs her with renew vigor.

K: " Klee will be waiting, mama. Come soon!"

She doesn't know how this little girl can love her so much even though she is always disappointing her, doesn't know what she did for Klee likes her but she kisses her plump cheek and whispers a "I live you" in the girl's ear.

When she is going away her mother send her a careful look and in a firm voice says.

F: " When you fight at whatever you will do,just remember you have more than a mother and a sister to come back to. Remember you have a wife and a kid."

She doesn't wait for Jean's reply, just close the door in her face.

Jean keeps staring at her own door, the white wood that needs a new paint.

She sighs, the weight of everything pilling on her shoulders. The weight of her failure and grief, of her fear distancing her day after day from those she one day promised to protect and love.

...to be continued

[justthehiddleswrites]

Destiny Has Other Plans |Loki x OFC (Alexis Randall) | Chapter 2

Pairing: Loki x OFC

MASTERLIST IS HERE

Summary: When Loki goes to ask his father for permission to marry, he is shocked to discover his destiny has already been made for him.  He is already betrothed to Sjofn, the daughter of the King of Vanaheim.  An arranged marriage to bring the two kingdoms closer together and strengthen the bond.  Never mind that Sjofn and Loki can’t stand each other.  

After The Battle of New York, Loki is sent to live at Avengers Tower as punishment for his misdeeds.  But it doesn’t mean he has to like it.   A year later, he has adjusted to life on Midgard but has avoided any romantic or emotional entanglements, still bitter over his lost love.  Dr. Alexis Randall is skilled at helping others fix their relationships as a couple therapist, but can’t help her own love life.  A chance encounter with Loki in a dive bar has life altering consequences for both of them.  Now, Alexis and Loki must figure out a way to co-habit without killing each other in the process, plus navigating impending parenthood and other roadblocks along the way.

This Chapter:   One month has passed since Alexis and Loki “met” at the bar, Loki has moved on but is confronted with harsh reality of Alexis and the consequences of his cavalier attitude towards relationships, hookups, and birth control. He does not react well.

Warnings: Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Smut, Angst,  Semi-Public Sex, Mentions of law enforcement, Oral Sex, Cursing, Vaginal Sex

Taglists are Open, please let me know if you wish to be added.

-

One Month Later

“Dr. Randall?” Rachel, Alexis’s receptionist, called out.

Alexis’s head snapped up from her desk, where she fell asleep between appointments.

“Yes?” She smoothed back her hair behind her ears and took a sip of her third cup of coffee of the day.

“Your 2 o’clock is here. The Masons? Can I show them in?” Rachel gazed at her boss with worry. Alexis never napped during the day and stopped drinking caffeine by 11 a.m.

“Yes, please.” Alexis stifled a yawn before composing herself.

The rest of her appointments dragged and she pushed her last appointment out the door rather than allow the Clarks to linger like they do after most sessions. Alexis wanted nothing more to go home and crawl into bed. And then her phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered with a weary tone.

“Tough day?” Hannah asked on the other end. One of Alexis’s few friends.

“I am so tired. And hungry. Tired and hungry.” she groaned.

“Well then, let’s make dinner a quick one. You are still meeting me?”

“Shit! I completely forgot. I don’t understand what is going on with me. Give me five minutes and meet me at the diner down the street?”

“Deal. I’m already almost there. Meet me inside.”

Alexis straightened her desk, grabbed her purse and headed out the door. Hannah was waiting in a booth inside as she slid in.

“I waited for you to order.” Hannah commented.

On cue, the server appeared.

“I’ll have the mac and cheese bites and the bacon cheeseburger with fries.”

The server wrote everything down, nonplussed, while Hannah stared at her friend. “Anything to drink, hun?”

“Strawberry milkshake. Oh, and a Diet Coke.”

“Got it? And you?” The server turned to Hannah.

“House salad with grilled chicken, dressing on the side. And water with lemon.”

“Thanks, hun.” The server grabbed the menus from Hannah, walking away.

Hannah leaned across the table. “That’s some order.”

“I told you I was hungry.” Alexis settled into her seat.

“If I didn’t know you so well, I would say you’re pregnant.” Hannah commented off hand.

Alexis froze, staring at Hannah with wide eyes. Hannah giggled.

“But Eric broke up with you and you’re always so careful with birth control.”

The blood drained from Alexis’s face as she flashed back to that stupid encounter in the bathroom with Loki. She scrambled through her purse, digging out her Filofax, flipping the pages until she saw the note a few weeks ago.

“Fuck! No, no, no, no, no…” She cradled her head in her hands as the server returned with their drinks.

“But you’re on birth control?” Hannah grew quiet.

“I was having some issues, so on advice of my doctor I stopped before trying an alternative. Eric and I were using condoms. Not that we were having sex at the end.”

“So no problem…” Alexis glared at her friend with tear brimmed eyes. Hannah stopped speaking.

Alexis’s hands twisted on top of the table. “There was an… encounter. When Eric and I broke up.”

Hannah let loose a low whistle. “Who would have guessed that uptight little Alexis was secretly a harlot? Details.”

Alexis’s cheeks burned red. She told the sordid tale of meeting Loki at the bar, to sex in the bathroom, and Loki’s disappearance.

“THE BATHROOM?!” Hannah yelped, wrinkling her nose.

Alexis shushed her. “Not my proudest moment, Hannah. And keep your voice down.”

Hannah leaned back against the red vinyl booth, taking in that Alexis, the most dependable, responsible person she knew, fucked a guy. Not just any guy, but Loki in the bathroom of a seedy bar.

“Say something, Hannah.”

“I am in shock. What are you going to do?”

The server appeared with their food, which they left untouched.

“I am not sure. This was not exactly planned.”

Hannah leaned over and flipped through her Filofax. “Nope, definitely not planned.”

“Your humor is not wanted right now.”

Hannah shrugged. “Just trying to lighten the mood.” She stabbed her salad. “First, you need to eat and then let’s find a pharmacy and get a test.”

Alexis pushed her plate towards Hannah. “I’ve lost my appetite.”

Hannah pushed the plate back at her. “Eat. You might be eating for two.”

Alexis groaned.

-

The annoying chime of JARVIS disturbed Loki’s peaceful lunch within the confines of his apartment. Over the past year, he curated a living space he enjoyed with artwork and textiles that brought him joy. What he didn’t enjoy were the intrusions by Stark’s electronic butler.

“Master Loki. There’s a young woman in the lobby asking to see you.”

Loki placed his utensils down. “Did she give a reason?”

A pause.

“It is of a personal nature.”

Loki waved his hand in the air. “Send her away. Tell her I’m indisposed.”

“Yes, sir.”

Loki returned to his lunch. It was probably one of the women he slept with looking for a serious relationship, he mused. That was one thing Loki was not interested in. Lust, not love, ruled his heart these days. And he had no intentions of changing his ways anytime soon.

The next morning JARVIS chimed again, at the hour of 7 a.m. well before Loki woke up on days where he wasn’t due anywhere.

“Master Loki, the woman is back. She is most insistent she needs to speak with you.”

Loki groaned, rolling onto his back. “Leave me be!”

“Should I send her away?”

“Yes.” Loki grabbed the pillow and covered his head, falling back asleep.

The morning wake up call was gone and forgotten as soon as Loki got going for this day. Until he headed out that evening, walking through the empty lobby of Avengers Towers on his way to hopefully meet a new conquest.

“LOKI!” A female voice called out.

Loki turned to see a young woman step out from behind a pillar. Her short, light brown hair and blue eyes vaguely familiar.

“The building’s been closed for hours. How are you even still here?”

“I hid in a supply closet.”

“I shall tell Stark his security is lacking.” He turned his attention to the girl. “You need to leave.”

“No,” She pressed her hand against his chest. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

Loki crossed his arms, tapping his foot. “What is it?” He spat at her.

Her composure crumbled. Loki only then noticed the tears in her eyes and the envelope in her hands.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” she muttered. “Of course not. Why would you? Here.” She shoved the envelope in his hand. “I thought you had a right to know.” She walked away, shoulders shaking. “And in case you fucking care, my name is Alexis, ass!”

The name triggered Loki’s memory back to the Whiskey Front Room. He opened the envelope and it contained a single sheet of paper with lab results.

Pregnancy Test: Positive

Loki stared at the door where Alexis exited a minute ago and then back at the paper before laughing. His plans of going out forgotten. He followed her, his long legs catching with Alexis easily.

“Is this some sort of joke?” He called out after her.

She stopped in tracks before spinning on her foot. Black trails of mascara marred her cheeks. “Does it look like I’m fucking joking?!” She snapped, spitting towards him.

Loki took a step back before smiling. He handed the paper back to her. “It’s a false positive. It is impossible.”

Alexis shoved it back at him. “I took three home tests, and that is a copy of my lab results. Do you realize how rare a false positive pregnancy test from a lab is?”

Loki wrinkled his nose. “No. But it’s a mistake.” He nodded his head. “I cast a spell to prevent this thing from happening. So your little scheme isn’t going to work. What is it you want? Money? I don’t have any.”

Alexis jabbed a finger into his chest. “You can drop the condescending tone. I am not here for money or anything else. I just thought you should know… in case you ever wondered if you had a kid out there. You do.” She sniffled.

Alexis slumped her shoulders and walked away. Loki reached out for her.

“Listen, I still don’t believe it, but I can’t have you leaving until we straighten this out.”

“You want me to stay… with… you?” Alexis stuttered. “No fucking way! You just called me a liar.”

“I said it was an impossibility, which is. I’m afraid you need to come with me. Just for one night. You can stay in my quarters.”

“I’m not sleeping with you.”

“I wasn’t asking. You can sleep in the bed and I will take the sofa.” Alexis crossed her arms and stared at Loki. “If you try to leave, I will forcibly return you to the tower. I prefer you coming willingly. I apologize for the inconvenience, but if what you say is true, you may be in danger.”

Alexis’s jaw dropped. “Why would my life be in danger?”

“I have many enemies. Now come.” Loki cradled his arm around her.

“Okay, but we are discussing this whole enemies, life in mortal danger thing some more once we get back.”

Loki nodded. “After we have the doctor examination tomorrow and she confirms you are not pregnant, I will answer all questions you want. But for now, let’s return.” Loki’s confidence Alexis was not pregnant faltered each time he mentioned it. There was no way his magic failed. But something itched at the back of his head. He pushed it away.

Alexis allowed Loki to guide her back to the Tower and into the elevator. Once they reached his quarters, he disappeared into the bedroom.

“Here are some clothes to sleep in.” He offered a t-shirt and shorts of his. “They might be a little big. I could ask around if you want—”

“No!” She yelled, causing Loki to smile. “The shirt and shorts are fine.” Alexis snatched them out of Loki’s hand.

Loki nodded in agreement. “Are you hungry? I can cook or order something in?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I just want to sleep and get this over with so I can return to my normal life.”

He rose and grabbed a spare pillow and blanket from a closet. “If you are up before me, please wake me. The sooner we settle this, the sooner you can get on with your life.”

He stretched onto the couch and Alexis’s heart sunk. She wasn’t sure why, perhaps she expected more from Loki than indifference. A hint he cared for the unborn child she carried. She turned over and settled in for a restless night’s sleep in a strange bed.

-

“Brother… Brother…” Thor whispered, shaking Loki out of his slumber.

“What is it, Thor?” He waved off further assault from his brother.

“There is a woman wearing your clothes asleep in your bed.”

“And that requires assault? Have you never seen a woman before?” Loki rolled over, hoping to catch more sleep before facing the nightmare of Alexis and this impossible pregnancy.

“I am still responsible for you here on Midgard, Loki. And I have a right—”

“—You have no right to my personal life!” Loki sneered. “There are things that are mine and mine only. Now leave me be!”

Thor held his hands up in defeat. “Fair enough. But when you are ready to talk… I am here.”

“A small comfort.” Loki forced a smile.

Alexis stepped out, wearing Loki’s t-shirt, which came down to her mid thigh. “What’s going on?” She rubbed her eyes, hair sticking out.

“My brother was just leaving.” Loki rose and shoved Thor out the front door before he could ask questions of Alexis.

She pursed her lips as Loki turned and chuckled nervously.

“So… does anyone know about me?”

“Not yet. I would prefer to keep this between us until we settle things.”

“They’re already settled for me.” she muttered, tucking her chin to her chest.

Loki’s face softened. “Forgive me for being a skeptic. My magic has never failed me before.”

“Maybe you wanted it to fail.”

“Why would I want it to fail?” Loki squinted at her.

She shrugged her shoulders and smirked. “Maybe you like me.”

“I’m not looking for emotional entanglement. And I am certainly not looking to be a father.” Loki moved to the kitchen to fix some coffee and a light breakfast.

“Doesn’t mean you don’t need it.” Alexis moved to watch Loki in the kitchen. She marveled at the efficiency of his movements. No wasted energy, no extraneous steps. This was a man who pre-planned every aspect of his life. No mistakes, no room for error. Until her.

“Can I have some of that?” She asked as Loki fixed a caramel mocha.

Not as good as the one from the coffee shop, but it sufficed for days when he couldn’t be bothered to leave the Tower. He invested in a top of the line espresso machine for just such purpose.

He sized her up with a questioning glance but prepared a second serving and handed it to her. “Dr. Cho is expecting us at 8. Are you hungry?”

“Famished.” She sipped the coffee after blowing on it to cool, it verged on too sweet for her tastes.

Loki rummaged into the fridge. “I have eggs or… eggs.”

“Eggs, please. Scrambled.”

Loki prepared the eggs as he did the coffee, meticulously.

“I’m glad you don’t fuck the way you cook.” Alexis mused, taking small sips of the sweet coffee.

“Meaning?” He tucked into his eggs, adding buttered toast to both his and Alexis’s plate.

“Precise. Cold. Clinical. Sex should be messy.”

Loki couldn’t resist a smirk. “Isn’t that how we ended up here?”

“Touche. Do I have time to shower before I get poked and prodded to satisfy you that I am pregnant?”

Loki glanced at the clock. “Use whatever you want. If you would prefer, wear one of my shirts rather than your clothes from yesterday.”

“Thanks.”

Loki finished up his food and cleaned up the dishes and his bedding off the couch. Alexis emerged with wet hair, wearing one of Loki’s black button-down shirts, tied at the waist, the top buttons undone. Loki swallowed hard.

“You said I could borrow one.”

“It’s fine. You look good. Give me a few moments and we can go.”

Loki showered and dressed for the day in jeans and a t-shirt, joining Alexis in the living room. “Ready?”

She nodded, and Loki took her hand. He glanced down the hallway before slinking them out and towards the elevator. He froze a voice called out.

“Is this a walk of shame?” Tony commented.

Alexis turned bright red as Loki pulled her close. “Go to the elevator and wait for me.” She mumbled and walked away.

“No need to be embarrassed. She’s cute. Kind of quiet. Frankly, I was wondering.” Tony smirked at Loki.

Loki resisted the bait. “She is just a friend in need of some help. Once she is settled, you’ll never see her again and you can go back to speculating.”

“Whatever, Reindeer Games. Seems like an awful lot of trouble for a friend… wearing your shirt.” Tony averted his gaze.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. Now if you excuse me, I have a previous engagement.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Tony called out as Loki beelined for Alexis, who was holding the elevator.

“Was that Tony Stark?” Alexis whispered once the elevator doors closed and Loki punched in the number.

“Unfortunately, yes. But once we confirm you’re not pregnant, you won’t have to worry about him.”

Alexis grew quiet. “Still convinced this is a mistake?”

“I’m never wrong and my magic never fails.”

One hour later, Dr. Cho pulled Loki aside.

“She is pregnant.”

Loki chuckled, which turned into nervous laughter. “You must be joking. There’s no way—”

“I did two blood tests and an ultrasound. I heard the baby’s heartbeat.”

Loki’s jaw dropped. “But my magic—”

“—failed. Now you can either accept reality or live a life of delusion. Right now there is a young woman in there who is scared and you calling her a liar is not going to help. I am going back in there. Are you coming with me?”

Loki nodded in shock and followed Dr. Cho back into the examination room. Alexis’s eyes met Loki’s with fear, the tears threatening to fall with a blink of her eye or a swipe of her hand.

Loki smiled a crooked smile at her and sighed. “I guess we need to talk.”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI Rogers and Barnes: The Serious Cereal Serial Killer Episode 16: Is This Thing Rolling...

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Part 1

Summary: Having figured out previously where Rumlow has taken Katie, it’s now a race against time for The 4 Avengers to reach her before it’s too late. Armed with…yeah…ok, actually, we’ll let you read that bit because frankly this entire chapter is ridiculously fun!!!

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  LONG update here guys so we split it into 2 for you to read as you wish. I know we said Episode 15 was the penultimate chapter but we had too much to cram in so…THIS is the Penultimate chapter! Episode 17 will be the last, followed by an Epilogue.

Anyway, enjoy!!!

Chapter Song: Everything by Michael Buble  

CSI R&B Masterlist  // Main Masterlist 

You’re a falling star, you’re the getaway car, you’re the line in the sand when I go too far. You’re the swimming pool on an August day and you’re the perfect thing to see.

Almost two and a half months after the unit cracked the case of the Serious Cereal Serial killer, as Thor had coined it one morning while watching Bucky scarf down a bowl of oatmeal at such a rate that he almost choked on it, everything seemed to be fitting into place. 

Rumlow and Wanda were rotting in jail. The former had been taken to a prison of maximum security in another county where he had been isolated while he waited for his trial to take place, whereas Wanda had been taken to the female wing, called Nidavellir, at the Nine Realms prison.

Katie had been back at the 99 for almost two months now and was working hand in hand with Peralta, which had given Santiago some relief as Katie was able to appease her husband’s excited and unorthodox methods. Gina had also been back at the 99 full time since another police technician, Scott Lang, previously in charge of the switchboard, had been appointed by Fury as the new Captain’s assistant at the 101st. To say he had been star-struck by the most famous police Captain in the NYPD would be an understatement, wringing Steve’s hand up and down for what felt like 5 minutes.

All in all Steve and Katie were doing well. They were in a happy domestic arrangement. She had moved in with Steve the moment Tony and Pepper had set a date for the wedding, even before she was taken by Rumlow after they had cracked the case and well before she decided to finish her secondment in DC and come back to Brooklyn permanently. And two months later she had given up pretending it was a temporary arrangement.

In fact, one Sunday morning while they were cuddling on the sofa, after an exhausting night and an invigorating breakfast, Katie had shyly asked Steve what he would think if she said she didn't want to find her own place but stay with him till they both found a place of their own. Steve had then flashed her a smile that would have lit up all of Brooklyn on a blackout night and had kissed the life out of her before commenting on how that would be everything a man could ask for. Earning another blinding smile from Katie and a groan from Bucky who, as usual, had shown up from nowhere when he was least expected and headed for the kitchen mumbling something about being fed up of mushy remarks and having to get better ear plugs to avoid having to go to therapy.

This particular Saturday morning, Katie was slumped over the breakfast bar in the kitchen, suffering from the mother of all hangovers after returning from Pepper’s bachelorette party in the small hours. And she was whimpering like a dog when Steve slid a plate of toast and an orange juice over to her.

"You need to eat something, doll."

"Trust me, I really don’t." she said, her voice muffled by the arm that was supporting her head.

Steve was trying to be sympathetic, he really was, but he was also having a hard time simply keeping himself from laughing. Frankly, the whole scene was hilarious. She had been in a right state when she had got home and he’d had to put her to bed once she had finished puking and he had arrested and cuffed her pumps for murdering her feet as per Katie’s request. So he let out a soft chuckle and she groaned as she squinted up at him.

"You know, it’s so not fair." she said blinking at the kitchen lights which felt like piercing her eyes.

"What isn’t?" Steve asked as he poured himself some coffee.

"I came home looking like a raccoon with my make-up smeared all over…and you…" she said as she waved her hand up and down his body "you still looked gorgeous even with that black eye."

"I’m surprised you can remember anything about what you or I looked like last night."

"When I go get my eyelashes done, remind me to take a photo of yours to show the beauty therapist what I want." she continued her ramblings ignoring his comment just before her head fell back on her arms.

Steve watched her and snorted.

"Don’t laugh at me." she whined, her voice once again muffled by her arms.

"I’m not. I’m trying to decide whether you’re still drunk or hungover." he said while he took a seat on the stool next to her.

"Trust me, this is 100% hangover…" she said peeking up at him. “How are you not even remotely ill?"

Steve rolled his eyes as if the answer couldn't have been any simpler. “I didn’t drink enough to be hungover. I know my limits."

"Hmmm yeah, not enough to avoid getting into a bar brawl." And just as she said it her eyes flicked to the bruise along his left cheekbone and eye socket. She sat up to trail her fingers gently over it. "You gonna tell me the full story about what happened?"

"I already told you before Doll, it was some drunken punk in a bar picking a fight. I had to put him in his place, that’s all." 

"Yeah, and he put your eye in a dark place from the looks of it." she jabbed at him.

"Trust me, he ended up far worse."

Steve saw her watching him and he tried to hold her gaze as best he could, working on keeping his face straight. But it was proving hard work seeing as he was the worst of liars, he always had been. For a moment he thought she was gonna argue but she didn’t, whether she believed him or was simply too hungover to bother pulling him up on it he had no idea. He was just grateful she didn't.

"Sure he did. Anyway, what are you and your black eye doing today?" she asked.

"I’m on groomsman duty, my suit was a little short last time I tried it on so Tony wants to make sure it fits.” He replied, thankful of the change of subject, trying to sound as casual as possible, when a sudden idea came to him. “Hey, how about we head to Ma’s for lunch? I can meet you there? That is if you feel better later. You got anything else planned, baby?"

Katie reached for the orange juice before answering "Yeah, lying on the couch waiting for death to come and take me."

Steve chuckled and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to her temple but he saw her flinch as Bucky made his accustomed loud entrance in the kitchen.

"Hey doll face..." he trailed off as he looked at her, taking in her appearance and then snorted."Yikes, not looking very doll face today."

"Die Barnes" she bit back at him.

"Gladly Stark, but before I leave this world remember you promised to help me find my suit for your brother’s wedding today." Bucky informed her, a side smile on his face and his arms crossed over his chest.

Katie then stilled "That was today?" she asked with a croaky voice.

"Yup." Bucky said and headed to the fridge to fetch some milk. "And seeing as his wedding is next week we are running out of time."

"Fuck my life." Katie groaned as Bucky poured some cereal into a bowl. "Can’t you ask anyone else? My head is killing me and I can’t feel my feet thanks to being in those ridiculous heels all night…"

"Not happening." Bucky shook his head. "Sam has some reports to finish today, but says he will join us later, and I need a woman’s advice."

"Well I don’t feel like being a woman today, Buck. Have some mercy." she said in a pleading tone, earning a chuckle from Steve who was amusingly watching the interaction while he munched his breakfast.

"Maybe I would if you hadn’t sent me the video of the stripper." Bucky took the big guns out.

Suddenly Steve spluttered on his coffee "What?"

"I thought you might enjoy it." she shrugged. "Anyway, I only did that because it was that Gemini Flannagan dude you told me about."

"Gemini Flannagan…huh, no shit?" Steve said as he dried a few coffee drops that had landed on the breakfast bar with a paper towel.

"Wanna see?" Bucky asked him with a grin. 

"No, why the fuck would I want to see that?" Steve frowned, visibly disgusted.

"Because in the background to all the thrusting and gyrating dearest Gemini is doing, there’s a very interesting conversation going on between your lovely girl here and Natasha where Stark is clearly saying, and I’m paraphrasing here, that his cock is nothing to write home about because yours is bigger."

At that point Katie could only groan and hide her head in her hands. 

But Bucky continued as he was having a ball "... and for the record, punk, if that’s true, I don’t know how you stand up straight." And just like that he took a spoonful of cereal and watched the pair of them. 

Steve was sure he was flushing, he could feel his ears and neck burning but he was also a bit smug, well ok, not a bit, he was full on smug. That most certainly was not a bad thing for his girl to be crowing about…

And then it suddenly hit him what Bucky had said.

"Hang on…he was naked? Like…did he strip?” Katie rolled her eyes and Bucky smiled at Steve's naivety "Clue's in the name…STRIPPER. Duh." she said.

“Like he was completely naked?”

“Well not completely, no.” Katie said, “He had this little leather thong pouch type thing covering his, crotch, but it was tight enough not to leave anything to the imagination.”

"You know, if you ever get tired of chasing bad guys there’s a gig there. You already have the uniform." Bucky told his friend as he munched his cereal.

Steve, who was now bright red, tilted his head at him. "Buck, just don’t."

Bucky smiled and decided to let it go but then he saw Katie looking at Steve and a wicked smile flicked across her face.

"Can you strip for me, Captain?" she asked suggestively.

Steve groaned and stood up, still flushing. "Just eat your toast and take a painkiller. I’m going for a shower."

"I love it when you put on your Captain's voice…" she purred, which did nothing to stop Steve’s blush, quite the contrary. And he rolled his eyes, trying to maintain a straight face as she continued "Are you stripping to get in the shower, Captain?"

Bucky laughed loudly as Steve sighed and looked him. "Keep her out of trouble, punk." He ordered.

"I’m not some mischief making teenager, Steve." she protested.

"Then stop acting like one." Steve said sternly, hands on his hips and it didn’t pass him by that he was really adopting his Captain stance.

"Says the man with the black eye." she glared at him and Bucky sniggered.

"I’m going for a shower now. Behave with uncle Bucky sweetheart." he said, winking an eye at her. And as he turned to leave Katie threw the toast from her plate at him but missed completely and it ended up on the kitchen's floor by the door.

"Fuck you, Rogers." she shouted in frustration.

They heard Steve's laughter die down as the bathroom door shut.

"We don’t play with food, little miss." Bucky mock scolded Katie as he picked the toast up off the floor.

"You can piss off too."

Bucky laughed, now she was being a brat. "Sorry, but you’re cute when you’re angry and hungover."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" she frowned at him.

"A James Buchanan Barnes original, yes."

"Well, given how I look and feel this morning, I’ll take it."  She breathed in and nodded behind him. "Pass me the Advil, will ya Buck?"

"Sure, doll face." he said as he reached into the cupboard over the sink and tossed the packet down on the breakfast bar. "Take a few, I need you at your best this morning."

"Just my luck." she said, taking the painkillers from the packet.

Bucky chuckled and poured himself a coffee. "Blame your brother, if he had chosen me as a groomsman, I’d have my suit sorted now."

Katie snorted and tossed the pills into her mouth, taking a gulp of orange juice and swallowing. 

"I mean, I get why Rhodes is his best man, like they’ve been friends forever but Rogers, Wilson and Banner as ushers, really? What about me?"

Katie looked at him "You really don’t want me to answer that, do you?"

"What you trying to say?" Bucky asked, not understanding why his question was so odd.

"Brucie and Sam are his closest friends at work and Steve’s…"

"The guy fucking his sister." he cut her off.

Katie narrowed her eyes "I was gonna say his Captain, ass hole."

Bucky simply grinned at her over his coffee mug. He loved their little bickering moments.

***** Steve pulled up outside Tony’s and headed up to the door of the large brownstone terraced house. He sighed as he rang the bell. He had been sure about this but now he didn't know if he was anymore. Anyways, he was already there and he'd better roll with it. 

"Oh hey Rogers, wasn’t expecting you." Tony greeted him as he opened the door.

"Hi Tony."

"Eurgh, that black eye looks worse now than it did last night. What did Katie say?" he said pointing at Steve's face

"Nothing much. I told her it was just some drunken ass hole causing a scene. She doesn’t need to know anything else." he shrugged.

Tony arched an eyebrow at him "Ooh, Captain straight lace telling lies."

"It’s not a lie, just not the whole truth." Steve explained with a smile. 

He had begun to take a liking at Tony's teasing, as long as it wasn't too personal that is. But he had to concede since they had rescued Katie from Rumlow the scientist had toned down his little jabs at the Captain. 

"Whatever, your funeral when she finds out."  Tony brushed Steve's explanations off with a wave of his hand. "And speaking of my sister, where is she?"

"Shopping with Bucky…complete with one hell of a hangover." 

"Yeah Pepper ain't much better. Made her one of my miracle beverages. Looked worse on the way back up, which is saying something…Come on in." 

Tony stepped back and let Steve into the tiled hallway, shutting the door behind him. He led the way, taking him through to the kitchen and Steve caught a glimpse of the living room when they stopped at the door.

"Pepper's on the sofa... dying. Probably best we leave her to it." Tony explained when he saw Steve was looking in her direction.

Steve smiled and nodded as Tony looked at him. "So Kiddo is shopping with a hangover? Bet she loved that." he scoffed.

"Well, you know her…never one to let someone down when she’s promised something. Bucky needs a suit for the wedding so…" 

"Oh, shit, yeah…er…let me warn you, I was in the middle of a thing with our wedding planner." 

Steve paused and turned to face him, raising an eyebrow "What do you mean?"

Tony had never been one for warnings, he just let people draw conclusions by allowing them to dive in head first. He just sat back and enjoyed the ride.

"You’ll see." Tony said before heading into the kitchen.

Steve frowned, there was not a spark of wickedness in Tony's brown eyes when he uttered those words as he would have expected. Instead Steve could feel the exasperation in his voice.

"Steve this is Grandmaster, our wedding planner. Grandmaster this is Steve Rogers, my sister’s boyfriend." 

Steve looked at Tony, mouthing Grandmaster?  What kind of fucking name was that? he thought. Tony didn't bother answering. Instead, he merely took out his glasses and rolled his eyes, a gesture Steve knew only too well to mean ‘don’t ask’ as it was identical to the one Katie made.

"Nice to meet you, Steve Rogers…you’re a lucky man." the man suddenly spoke.

"Sorry, I’m not…I don’t…what?" Steve was utterly confused and finished a little lamely. His brain was having a hard time registering the wedding planner's flamboyant appearance. He was wearing a sparkly golden jacket even Bucky would have sworn off in the 80s. But his greying spiky hair and blue eyeliner combination was what had Steve floundering for words. Then, what the man had said registered and he frowned. “Lucky man?”

"Your girlfriend, Tony’s sister, I met her at the dress fitting a few weeks ago. She’s an exquisite little thing." Grandmaster explained softly.

"Oh, err, yeah… yes she is. Thank you.”

Steve saw Grandmaster bat his eyelashes at him as if to acknowledge his words. He looked at Tony once more, utterly dumbfounded. Tony simply shook his head in a just roll with it gesture and Steve suddenly realised exactly why Tony had issued a warning.

He then looked at the large table which was adorned with bits of paper, one of which looked like a seating plan, and suddenly he felt like he was intruding. 

"Look, if this is a bad time I can come back…"

"Oh, no, Anthony and I were just discussing the brunch…" Grandmaster explained and grinned at Tony.

"For the last time, it’s a Reception, idiot." Tony hissed.

"No, can you…you know I don’t like that word." Grandmaster shook his head, cringing.

"What? Idiot."

"No, the…why would I not like the word idiot? I mean the R word."

Steve stood there, watching the exchange between the two men, his mouth hanging open in confusion. That Greatmaster was certainly a greater piece of work than Tony, which was saying something. Or was it Grandmaster? Whatever...

Tony let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It’s not a brunch, it's an afternoon... you know what? Fine. The post wedding meal."

"Ok, better." Grandmaster grinned again at him.

Steve now understood why Tony had done nothing but moan about this guy for the last few months. He was clearly a fucking sandwich short of a full picnic.

"As for the seating…just do whatever. I don’t much care." Tony conceded, visibly fed up. There's only so much a man can take after all.

"Alright, seeing as Miss Potter is not available, I’ll work on this later and email it over." the man agreed.

"It’s Miss Potts." Tony practically growled and Steve could see he was about to lose it.

"She’s more open to my ideas than you are Anthony." the wedding planner observed, not in the least fazed by his client's angry tone.

Tony stared at him, blinking. His mouth hanging slightly open in a look Steve had seen only a handful of times before, when something had rendered him speechless, which was no mean feat, before the scientist took a deep sigh. 

"Whatever."

And just like that Grandmaster moved graciously around the table. Steve watched him as he gathered his papers up and popped them into a leather briefcase. He then fastened it with a click and looked at Tony. 

"By the way, it smells in here…burnt toast I think.”

"Yeah, well I like my bread well done." Tony's voice was deadpan and Steve snorted as Grandmaster nodded with a smile. The guy had no idea Tony was literally making fun of him to his face.

"Alright, guess I’ll be leaving now. Bye, Anthony. Nice to meet you Mr Stevenson."

Steve's brain had not quite registered the man's name mixed-up when he heard Tony hiss through gritted teeth "It’s Rogers." He was literally lost for words. So when Grandmaster left the room Tony looked at him. 

"Don’t mind him, took him some time until he stopped calling me Mr Starch. That’s why I don’t rip his tongue out for calling me Anthony."

"Yeah erm…where on Earth did you find him?"

“I’m not actually sure he’s from Earth.” Tony mumbled before he shook his head. “He was some acquaintance of Banner. Thor knew him too. He runs a company called Sakaar. They deal with events planning. And orgies, apparently." Tony explained, rubbing his temples.

Steve thought Tony had aged a decade in the ten minutes he had been dealing with his wedding planner and gave them a sympathetic smile just before his brain registered the last part. "What?"

"Don’t ask." Tony said before clapping his hands together. "Anyway, what can I do for you, Cap? You want a coffee or…?

"No thanks, I’m good."  Steve cleared his throat. With all the Grandmaster dude shenanigans he had forgotten the real purpose of his visit and suddenly he could feel his palms were sweaty with nerves.  "I... err... wanted to talk to you alone. There’s this thing I’ve been meaning to ask you…"

Tony arched his eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yes." Steve replied way too fast. "I mean, I wanted to ask you before I ask her…"

"Her? Are you talking about Katie?"

Steve lowered his head and sighed "Yes."

"Oh, I see what’s going on." Tony said leaning against the counter, folding his arms.

"You do?" Steve asked, lifting his head up and looking at him shyly.

"No thanks to you, you’re a mess Rogers." Tony said, a gentle smile curling on his lips. "Come with me."

Steve frowned before following him "Tony, I…"

"Trust me, I have something to show you." Tony stopped and turned to look at him with a soft smile.

Steve took a breath and followed him. They headed down the hall then up the stairs and into Tony's study. Once there Steve saw Tony sit on his desk chair and begin tapping on the keyboard. Just as the screen sprang to life Tony explained.  "See dad had a thing for recording videos, kind of like pep talks for the future." He pressed a few buttons more and moved the mouse before continuing. "After the one he recorded for that old journalist Mr Lee, well it got me thinking there had to be more. So I started searching through his old archives and among other things, I found something I think you’ll find interesting."

Steve frowned "What do you mean?"

Tony looked at him for an instant before looking back at the screen and smiled as he selected a file. "Lets just say my dear old pop was a visionary…"

Steve looked at him, he had no idea what the fuck was going on. Tony stood up and motioned for Steve to take his place on the desk chair 

"Just watch this, then you can ask me what you wanted to ask me."

He leaned over Steve to click another button and the screen suddenly displayed Howard, perched on his desk, scotch in hand. Steve felt a shiver running down his spine.

"Is this thing rolling?" Howard asked the person behind the camera as he swirled his glass around. 

 "Yeah, it’s on…" a voice from off screen confirmed.

"Alright…" Howard took a swig of scotch and cleared his throat. "Tony…congratulations on being the only person I know who is nosey enough and clever enough to crack into my archives…anyway, if you’re watching this it means something has happened to me before I got the chance to tell you all this in person so…."

Steve watched as Tony pressed a key to fast forward the recording a bit, he was winding to find something, before he stopped and the screen showed Howard giving a chuckle and taking another mouth of scotch.

"So yeah, there’s always a secret door." he said before taking a deep breath. "Now I want you to show this next bit to Rogers."

Steve’s eyes widened and he felt his heart start beating fast.

"Steve, you’re like a second son to me, you know that. I hope you’re doing well. I have no doubt you’ve made Captain by now, possibly even Commissioner, depending on how old this recording is. Not too old I hope. Anyway, I digress. I’m willing to bet you’ve cracked a few big cases too."

Steve gulped as he watched his old mentor continue to talk to him through the screen. He couldn't even tear his eyes from the screen to see Tony's reaction.

"Good job son. Now, onto something far more important to me. I hope you and my princess have realised by now you’re made for each other, because I already know you are."

Steve’s breath caught in his throat, his heart was now pounding.

"So if you’re watching this, and you’ve finally figured that out, then I’m giving you my blessing son. If you haven’t figured it out, then you’re a pair of dumbasses." Howard groaned at the last part and Steve gave a soft snort of laughter, shaking his head. "I’d be over the moon knowing you two have finally realised what has been in front of you for the past god knows how long."

"10 fucking years…" Tony mumbled from where he was leaning against a bookcase behind Steve, arms crossed and his right hand covering his mouth and jaw.

Howard then swallowed a little and wiped at his eye as he looked down at his feet taking a deep breath, clearly emotional, before he looked back up.

"Just look after her, treat her well and make her happy. I’m trusting you with one of my most treasured accomplishments son. And I only wish I could be there to walk her down the aisle to hand her over to the person I’d trust her with over anyone." Howard smiled and then thought about something a moment before he continued. “Just don’t try to understand her.” Howard shrugged “Because the minute you think you know what’s going on inside a woman’s head is the moment you’re goose is cooked.”

At that he sat up straight, slipping back into the Howard Steve knew all too well and looked at the camera.

"Ok, you can stop that thing now…" Steve heard him say before the screen went blank.

The room fell silent and Steve swallowed, trying to digest what he had just seen. The lump in his throat felt like a damned golf ball. Seeing his old mentor, his girl’s dad like that, in such an unguarded way had really made him emotional. When he recovered a bit he turned to look at Tony, who was in turn looking at him, and saw his eyes were misting over slightly. "What was it you wanted to ask?"

Steve chuckled "You still gonna make me say it?"

"Humour me Rogers, I like to see you squirm." Tony teased him, regaining his composure.

Steve took a deep breath before speaking, hoping his voice would come out as steady as possible given the circumstances.

"Tony, I’m gonna ask Katie to marry me. And it would mean the world to me, if I had your blessing."

Tony smiled and looked at his feet before he glanced back up "Then you got it, Steve."

Steve felt a feeling of relief wash over him, the fact he had used his name, for the first time in years, and not some stupid nickname didn’t pass him by. He smiled widely as Tony extended his hand, before he pulled him into a brotherly hug. 

 “Scotch?” Tony asked him as he pulled back.

Steve nodded, smiling widely. "Absolutely."

CONTINUED IN PART 2

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 08 + 09.11.20 lbs

08.11.20

lmaoooooooo i really love the ice cold way siya operates in. truly a raisinghania sib!

“siya chal sakti hai!!!” behen, iss ghar mein tumhare dimaag ki alaava sab kuch chalta hai.

dadi trying to cheer raja band baja hua beta up with his favt. chole bhature. he doesn't seem like the kind who'd eat that kinda food, but ok.

CHOLE BHATURE ARE NOT CHEERING HIM UP. MATLAB MAAMLA SERIOUS HAIIIIII.

lmao he's literally twisting and turning in place like kids do when they have a tantrum. i mean, i like it. it shows a more human side to the character, ki just how much anguish and helplessness he's feeling.

dadi like babe, you can't control everything in life, stop being such a bloody control freak ki things not going your way turn you like this.

blah blah anguished rant on how he lost something so important to him.

dadi giving cliche ~~~if it's meant to be yours, it'll come back to you~~~ advice. which is kinda working on him. huh. all kindsa out of sorts behaviour.

“jab tuney kisi ke saath galat nahi kiya hai, toh tere saath galat kyun hoga?” uh okkkkkkkkkkk, that's not how life works. bad shit happens to good ppl all the time. also, he's done lotsa galat shit ok. what did riddhima do for this fucker to paralyse her huh?????? YEH SAB USSI KA NATEEJA HAI. BHUGAT AB.

carbs therapy. BEST HAI. ALWAYS WORKS. IT'S SCIENCE, BITCHES.

dadi saying why don't you talk to riddhima about your issues, and lol he's whining about she dgaf about him coz she left him alone last night when he asked her not to.

dadi left praying ki hey bhagwaan these two fucks’ relationship is in your hands now, this is beyond human interference.

kabir being informed of new developments and accusation of kidnapping ragini is being heaped on siya. BASED ON WHAT EVIDENCE YOU STUPID TWIT??????? THAT SHE CAN WALK??????? SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!

“mujhe usse vansh ke aage expose karna hoga.” LMAO BITCH EXPOSE YOURSELF FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

“tum kya mujhe expose karogi? expose toh main tumhe karungi!” YES SIYAAAAAAAAA FUCK  HER UPPPPPPPPPP

NOICE. WE LOVE A FIERCEASS SISTER WHO’S READY TO KILL FOR HER SIBLINGS. ESP. WHEN IT’S THE SCARY BIG BROTHER WHO’S EVERYONE’S PROTECTOR.

siya saying she just miraculously got cured a few days ago, and was waiting to surprise everyone. sounds sus, but whatever.

but also what kinda terrribleasssssss physiotherapist is riddhima that she didn’t even identify her patient’s progress?????

LMAO SIYA POL KHOLING OF VANSH BHAIYYA SAYING HE MADE HER DO ALL THE SHADY MASK SHIT. “TO KEEP RIDDHIMA SAFE”. haaaan behen, khooooob safe rakha tumne, baar baar behosh karke. pehle se hi iska dimaag nahi chalta, now you’ve managed to give her some kinda degenerative brain disease.

i love how vansh didn’t bother to ask siya how she stopped riddhima’s plans and knocked her out multiple times if she’s in a wheelchair. there’s literally only one person in a wheelchair in this house?!?!?!!!!!! wouldn’t riddhima KNOW who the person in the mask is???? god vansh. you’re such a dumbass.

lellllllllllllllllllllllllll i am livingggggggggg for siya reading riddhima to filth with a knife in her hand THIS IS THE BEST SCENE OF THIS SHOW YET. esp in her small, child-like voice, it’s fucking amazing.

riddhima admitted to being a spy, AND SIYA RECORDED IT ALSO. OMFG SHE’S MY NEW FAVE CHARACTER I LOVE HER THE MOST.

i wish vansh was the person he is to siya, instead of the fucker he actually is. she literally thinks the worldddddddddddd of him. ugh, i am so soft for this relationshippppppp.

but i also wanna know what the ishani/siya relationship is like? we hardlyyyyyy see them interact. like, we even see aryan push her wheelchair around sometimes, but ishani neverrrrrrr interacts with siya. why????

ugh riddhima managed to convince her that she really cares for vansh and is trying to do the right thing. she’s literally asking her to kill her rn if she doesn’t trust her. baby sis you’re farrrrrrrrr too trusting.

“mera dimaag tumpe trust karne se rok raha hai, riddhima, par jiss dil ne tumhe bhaabi bola haina, woh tumhe ek mauka dena chahta hai. ek aakhri mauka. iss baar mera bharosa mat todna. 24 ghante hai tumhare paas. apni taqdeer badal sako toh badal lo warna yeh audio main vansh bhaiyya ko suna doongi.” SERIOUSLY, WHERE WERE THEY HIDING THIS MOST SAYAANI CHARACTER OF THE SHOW TILLLLLL NOW????????!

riddhima has a condition for siya too. i think i know what it is.

omg vansh IS COLLAR PAKADKE YELLING AT ANGRE IN THE WORST WAYYYYYYY POSSIBLE. god vansh, you’re honestly the fucking worstttttttttttttttttttt. angre you need to take up work with someone else, istg, you don’t deserve this shit. kabir treats his sidekick so much better. yet another point in the kitty for kabir >>>>>> vansh.

seriously, why would you wanna blindfold this dude when he’s in THIS mood????? save it for the bedroom, sis.

empty wheelchair dekh ke he’s yelling at everrrrrrrryone ki how could they leave siya alone somewhere. god. i can’t imagine having to live with such a toxic personality.

everyone in the house is soooooo happy for siya. like, aryan’s not beaming as much as the others, but he does look kinda pleased. BECAUSE SIYA IS BEST CHARACTERRRRRRR OF THIS SHOW EVERYONE LOVESSSS HERRRRR.

oh my heart, i am so softttttttt for sibling shit like this. he’s hugging her with suchhhhhhhhhhhh fierceeee affection, i’m crying happy tearsssssss.

heart eyes for riddhima who supposedly cured her. pls. she did nothing. jo bhi karna tha, siya ne khud kiya hai. iss ridhimma manhoos ko jasoosi se kab fursat mili to do PT with siya and cure her???

siya being gracious and giving credit though. ugh, honestly, this show and this family don’t deserve siya.

lmao she’s saying vansh brought riddhima in though, so actually allll the credit goes to bhaiyya for intimidating this poor woman into treating his sister against her will.

THE AFFECTION. THE SHEER MAGNITUDE OF HIS LOVE FOR HERRRR. I CRIEEE. THIS IS THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP THAT MATTERS TO ME IN THIS GODFORSAKEN SHOW.

anupriya giving some fakeass congrats. i hope siya tells vansh that she was the one who pushed her down the stairs a while back. aur kuch nahi toh just for that vansh is gonna kill her dead.

riddhima and vansh still all tense and sad about the ragini thing. OUFF JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT YOU FUCKS.

I LOVE HER. I FUCKING LOVE HER. BEST RAISINGHANIA HAI YEH.

———————————————————————

09.11.20

riddhima back at kabir’s to try and find ragini. ughhhhhhhhh i’m just so done with this nonsense. we already KNOW that kabir and anupriya still have her based on the precap from like 2, 3 days ago.

lol kabir is so pissed at riddhima and her dimaag chalaana. a mood we ALL share.

kabir trying to turn riddhima against siya and riddhima’s like NOOOO SHE COULD NEVER, “USKI AANKHEIN USKI AWAAAZ SAAF SAAF KEH RAHI THI KI WOH SACH BOL RAHI HAI!” uh huh, yeah, like kabir’s are rn????? and vansh’s were before he paralysed you? just a suggestion i’m throwing out there: is it possible that perhaps, just maybe, you’re just very fucking stupid, riddhima, and tend to trust people too easily????

OUFF I’M SO BORED WITH THIS SCENE. we already know from the precap that ragini will knock down a vase but riddhima will never find out what caused it and kabir will make some lame excuse she’ll believe. FWDING TO NEXT.

JESUS CHRISTTTTTTTT, SIYA IS JUST WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE RANDOMLY LISTENING TO THAT AUDIO CLIP OF RIDDHIMA’S CONFESSION. AND SHE WALKS RIGHT INTO VANSH, WHO’S LIKE HUH, WHAT’S THAT RIDDHIMA IS SAYING?????

siya brushes it off saying its exercise stuff for her PT. sure. uh huh.

OH MY HEART HE GOT HER HEEEEEEELS, WHICH SHE’S ALWAYSSSSSSS WANTED. THIS BHAIYYA-BABY RELATIONSHIP IS GONNA TAKE ME DOWN GODDAMNITTTT. ITNE DIN BAAAAAAAAAAAD ITNI ACHCHI SIBLING FEELS MILI HAI ITV SEEEEEEE.

bhaiyya knows baby enough ki she’s hiding something from himmm. oh noeeeeeeeeeee.

damn, siya a real one. didn’t give out riddhima’s secret coz she wants to give her a fair chance. again, this show does not deserve this character. she’s too good for it.

she says she just believes in him and knows he’ll find whoever murdered mom. 

SOFT. SO SOFT. MY HEART IS SO FULL WHENEVER THESE TWO SHOW LOVE TO EACH OTHERRRRR.

idhar ragini ki marammat shuru. y’all are just exhausting me with this bs. isse maarna hai toh maaro already. ainvayi mein time waste.

oh dangggggggg, ragini batting for riddhima. saying i know she’ll fuck y’all up. dang, we love the sisterhood feels of this episode!

“aap ke liye SPECIAL INTEZAAM kiya hai maine.” said with the most polite customer service obsequiousness. I LOVE THIS PSYCHOPATH THE MOSTTTTTTTTTT.

ragini warning them that once vansh finds out everything, they’re as good as dead. wow, spunky!!!! dude i like her as a female lead better than stupid fucking riddhima. 

“hmmmmmm, you’re right. lekin usse batayega kaun???” honestly, why do i love his deranged ass so much????

anyway mishra has been delegated the task of stashing her somewhere else i guess. so it’s settled that mishra knows he’s not working for the CBI or whatever and is just a hired goon.

dadi is organizing YET ANOTHER POOJA. lordddddd.

this riddhima and her dumbass mandir jaana excuse that she uses constantly.

“bhagwaan tum jaisi bahu sab ko de!” OMFG DADI PLS, GOD FORBID. ISSE ACHCHA AAPKE BETE KUNWAARE MARR JAAYE!

ugh dadi your bloody pota needs a fucking therapist, it isn’t in riddhima’s hands to fix his 1001 mental issues.

great, mangalsutra almost broke. foreshadowing.

ughhhhh mummy managed to steal the memory card from aryan. FUCKING IDIOT I THOUGHT YOU HAD PUT IT IN THE BLOODY BANK ALREADY, BUT NO. HE WAS STILL HOLDING ON TO IT AND TALKING ABOUT IT LOUDDDDDDDDLY ON THE PHONE. jesusssss, why he so fuckinggggg stupid????

oh now vansh is exclaiming GREATTTTTTT JOB ANGREEEE as if he didn’t tell him to GTFO, THE VERY SIGHT OF YOU DISGUSTS ME yesterday. fuck, i really hate vansh as anything but a brother to siya.

aaaaaaand riddhima was standing behind him and he turned around and in a veryyyyyyy contrived move got his watch caught in her mangalsutra and broke it.

sis freaking about THE APSHAGUN!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s like arre nahi achcha shagun hai, angre got the cctv footage now i’ll know who kidnapped ragini! and sis is like OH GOD NO THE BAD LUCK IS STARTING ALREADY I’M SO DEADDDDDDD

“toh main tumhe kho dungi.”

lmao his face. literally the white guy blinking meme.

god she’s having a freakout about how their shaadi and rishta is in khatra. BITCH THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MS AND INSTEAD THE MOUNTAIN OF LIES YOU ARE SITTING ON AND YOUR EK DARJAN KE INCOMPATIBILITY ISSUES AS INDIVIDUALS.

”tum jaanti ho riddhima, tumahra ek ek aansoon mere liye kitna keemti hain? aisa lagta hai jaise mere dil ke ek tukde ko tod ke alag kar diya ho.”

OH YEAH????? DIDN’T FEEL ANYTHINGGGGG WHEN YOU PARALYSED HER HUH????????? IT’S GONNA BE A LONGASSSSS TIME BEFORE I GET OVER THAT, BITCH BOY.

yeah yeah ok this is a nice moment and all. WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THIS DUDE, HUH?????? WHY’D YOU HAVE TO RUIN ALLLLLLLLLL THE GOOD WILL YOU BUILT UP BY KARWA CHAUTH IN ONEEEEEEE MOMENTTTTTTT?????? fuck, i hate you tellywood men and the shit they put my stupid heart through.

only bappa ki aarti shall fix things now. based on the promo and BTS i’ve seen, things about to get reallllllly realllllllly bad but............ lol let’s wait and watch.

ragini managed to sneak mishra’s phone outta his pocket. SEE????? SO ENTERPRISING!!!!!! I LIKE HER SO MUCH MORE THAN RIDDHIMA. GOD VANSH, THIS IS THE GIRL YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. SHE’S REALLY THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.

she’s callllllllllling vanshhhh. BUT AARTI KI WAJAAH SE HE CAN’T HEAR THE PHONEEEEEE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

here, have some dhaarmik #couple goals to take the edge off the anxiety till the next episode.

———————————————————————

precap: omfg ragini got through to riddhima and she almost told her that kabir is behind kidnapping her, but kabir got to her and attacked her from the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOUBLE OMFG SIYA OVERHEARD MUMMY ON THE PHONE BRAGGING ABOUT KILLING THEIR MOM AND CALLS VANSH TO TELL HIM ABOUT IT!!!!! LIKE SHE TOLD HIM THE NAME ALL CLEARLY AND THAT SHE HEARD IT FIRSTHAND!!!!!!!! VANSH SEEMS TO BE GIVING NO REACTION THO????????????

TELL ME THAT BOTH THESE PHONE CALLS WERE NOT MADE ON SOME FUCKING GHATIYA NETWORK LIKE IDEA AND THE REQUIRED PPL HEAR EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO!!!!!!!! (high hopes, i know. 😔😔😔)

[vaguely-gestures-to-the-void]

Hindsight: My thoughts on Loki (2021)

As always, thanks for being here my friends. There’s definitely more nuanced discussion of this show, but I’m here for the vibes. Anyways, here’s my thoughts on Episode 3 of Loki. Bear in mind I hadn’t watched episode 4 before I wrote the review for 3. No hate on anyone/thing, it’s all my opinion.

Episode 3: LAMENTIS

Pre-title scene

I rioted when I heard Hayley’s voice. It’s a win for all of us.

C-20! Sylvie!

C-20’s lil dance was adorable. I love her.

I want Sylvie’s tie dye.

Is that Ralph Bohner?

The same place, but at night. Coincidence? I think not.

Sylvie’s powers have limits. She can’t search someone’s mind and take information, she needs them to willingly tell her though she can use her powers to do that.

TVA

Sylvie’s experienced. Always tie your hair into a bun before a fight.

Her music is nothing like what we’ve heard previously. It’s the Sylvie show folks.

The mural on the left side of the hall is the one from the credits scene.

The plaque above the elevators says ‘FOR ALL TIME ALWAYS’.

Even in the mural on the right side, the Time Keepers aren’t equal, the middle one takes up the most space.

Ravonna!

I love how their movements are similar. The head-snap-hair-flip combo is nearly identical, reflecting how they are the same person to some extent.

2077 Lamentis - 1

“Get off my leg!” SiblingTM energy.

“Goodbye, variant.” She sure has the Loki drama.

I finally remembered it’s called a TemPad. Rip.

“Don’t ever call me that.”

“Tech savvy?”

That’s so Ragnarok.

I love the music as we pan up to the planet. It’s the familiar, anxiety-inducing ticking for me lads.

“You idiot! This is Lamentis - 1.”

“I don’t know what that means!”

My siblings when I can’t restart the router (every country has an AT&T).

I like that it’s a moon that’s inhabited. It’s nearly always the planet, still not great for the people on it.

That slide to get under the dump truck was so smooth.

“So we’re a team now?” Jesus Loki needs friends. Probably a good therapist too.

“Didn’t need your help!”

“You’re so weird!”

I like the way Tom runs. Don’t know why. Just do.

Sidenote, my favourite running form is Chris Evans’.

Sylvie’s magic flickered so I genuinely think the enchantment didn’t work.

“Well then I’ll cut it out.” I like the way she says that. I am questioning so many things rn.

“Just because I have to work with you doesn’t mean I wanna hear your voice.” It’s ironic since they spend so much time talking about themselves.

“Alright, well, slow down… Variant.” They really play off each other’s egos to find weaknesses.

“You don’t know what you want.” Sylvie’s more straightforward in everything she does. She efficiently points out Loki’s flaws but when it comes to a goal, she’s meticulous.

“...just walk away.” Loki stops walking, but Sylvie does walk away. There is distance between them (for now).

I’ve had experience with mining towns like this one and whilst they weren’t so out-of-this-world (ya know) there is a tendency for rural and isolated communities to struggle with old/not maintained infrastructure. This is not everywhere, but it’s not uncommon from what I know. Even though these towns are a source of wealth, there isn’t distribution of the money and it’s a grim reality that’s being shown. I appreciate it.

The shot of them walking past a slab of that planet towards the hut is incredible. Wow.

The person in there is just waiting for their death. I’m going to be addressing a lot of the harsh realities in this episode folks so it won’t be so cheerful.

I understand that people weren’t so happy with this being a filler episode, but I think they got it right. It’s strange that a literal planet-moon collision doesn’t bring the tension that the hurricane did in the last ep, but by having an atmosphere that wasn't so omnius, they conveyed (to me at least) that hope was already lost. In the Roxxcart Disaster, the people believed that it wasn’t going to be the end. There’s desperation on Lamentis - 1 but as Sylvie said, the collapse of society occurs. That’s a large group of people realising that class divides will cause slaughter. It’s greed portrayed in two different ways, one being the integration of excessive capitalism into society, the other being social structure based on oppression. Not everyone’s reading into Loki like this but it’s a change from how Marvel usually approaches conflict.

We learnt about the characters and whilst I’m not a fan of when a plot line is moot (my bet is that Loki and Sylvie will be rescued next ep, making all the attempts to get off Lamentis - 1 pointless), it’s necessary for the characters to develop. The way Loki and Sylvie end up on Lamentis - 1 makes sense and the plot doesn’t feel forced.

“It’s remarkable that you made it as far as you did.”

Devils is recurring in this episode. Maybe this has implications on future episodes?

“Which one was that, diplomacy?” Why are their interactions so funny?

I don’t think I need to comment on the significance of the train station scene.

I would like to acknowledge that though this is good writing that’s relevant in the time it was released, we shouldn’t forget it’s coming from large corporations who aren’t perfect.

How do they just walk past the line?

The people who snitched were right in front of them.

Did the cat get Loki’s silvertongue? That was the most graceless lying I’ve ever seen.

Sylvie not sitting with her back to a door makes sense, but why won’t Loki go backwards on a train? They both have little quirks.

“That’s not a plan. That’s just doing a thing.” Loki went to the Thor school of planning, it’s Get Help all over again.

Loki’s exaggerated nods at the other guards lol.

Sylvie growls whenever she’s mad, it’s hilarious.

The close ups of their faces when the conversation gets personal and isn’t just trading jabs is great for conveying the authenticity of their answers.

Loki not pressing Sylvie when she clearly didn’t want to talk about what happened to her mother is something I appreciated.

Here’s to Tom for having to do magic for more than 10 years now. He’s so serious, I can only imagine how funny it is without the effects.

“Well she did.” Yeesh, has Loki gotten time to grieve?

Sylvie is genuinely impressive.

“Pity the old woman chose to die.”

“She was in love.”

I don’t quite understand what they were talking about then, I guess we’ll find out later?

Loki, why are you so unnecessarily dramatic?

I laughed. Who am I kidding, they’re dorks and I love them.

Loki is trying to find out anything, anyone who could be used against Sylvie.

Here’s to the postman, they’re probably dead but we appreciate Sylvie’s happiness anyways.

“A bit of both. I suspect the same as you.” AND THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE IN REPRESENTATION FOLKS!

Let’s just take our scraps and be happy, eh? It made my week.

They both need real relationships of any kind, guys.

“Love is… uh, something I might have to have another drink to think about.” Me whenever anyone asks me about my love life.

“You do realise… ...a civilisation’s only hope?” I think this was Sylvie’s way of making sure Loki’s (albeit grey) morals and drinking habits don’t interrupt her plan.

The train sure gives me Snowpiercer vibes.

Do I have to talk about Drunk Loki?

Tom’s singing voice is lovely.

Sylvie’s eyes shift nervously to the door and then back to Loki. She’s initially tense but she relaxes slightly though she knows she’s gonna have to clean up the mess.

“Nobody cares. It’s the end of the world.” Again, Loki’s headspace is one where existence is futile.

The green walls contrast the purple lighting nicely.

You can see plants (?) from the outside if you look out the windows. Talk about attention to detail.

Bruh what is the dagger about? Drunk Loki’s a comedic genius.

The descending notes in the background of Loki’s fireworks.

Sylvie’s smile when she goes to attack is animalistic. I’d like to see her character explored more in terms of how she views violence.

YEET.

“You’re right. I’m a god.” Loki’s defense mechanism is to state that his motives are above the understanding of others.

“You’re a clown.” Sylvie tells it as it is.

Loki and Sylvie’s reactions to the TVA contrast the most here. Sylvie is potentially motivated by vengeance or a need for revenge whilst Loki has resigned to numbing the pain (for now at least) as he comes to terms with his reality. The question of what drives you is so important for these characters, I’m excited to see whether they’ll find a common ground and wreak havoc on the sacred timeline.

Loki and Sylvie both struggle with communicating in a healthy way. Sylvie calls him out on his directionlessness and Loki tells her what may be the harsh reality of her plan. Neither of them are willing to accept it, but there’s potential for a strong bond if they do.

Sylvie’s scream lmao.

I love the colour of Loki’s pants.

Problem? Solution! Do thing! Is Sylvie’s method of thinking when all is lost.

Gosh I love the shots in this episode.

“That’s a pretty good life.” Sylvie’s definitely not lived as a royal, or not from what she remembers.

“I just need to know if I can trust you.” Sylvie giving up how she enchants people is an olive branch because as useful as the things that Loki told her may have been for manipulation, they both know the importance of her upper hand. But she only relents once Loki doesn’t have the TemPad. Later, when she asks whether she can trust Loki, it’s more of a reassurance because he’s already been vulnerable around her.

The actor’s body language and facial expressions are incredible. Loki’s eyebrow’s furrow slightly when Sylvie mentions C-20’s mind but Tom takes a second for the information to be processed rather than instantly reacting to Sophia’s next line. She does the same when Loki talks about the TVA workers being created. What skilled people they are.

The city is a wonderful piece of set design.

“We do, and you can.” They step into the light, neither of them have tunnel vision and are able to see a bigger picture.

“They’re gonna let these people die.” This show explores a side of Loki we haven’t seen before, his morality and compassion. He has grey areas that could be explored in the next season. It also points back to how Sylvie and Loki differ in their view of others. I think this is partially because of their childhoods. Loki was raised as a prince and cared about his people, but Sylvie doesn’t share that perspective (“...they usually survive”), maybe because of her past. Hopefully in the upcoming episodes we’ll get a bit more of her backstory.

That sequence is beyond words. The constantly rotating and revolving camera really hammers home that it’s a disorienting fight for their lives at the end of the world. I’m speechless, just watch it.

The music in that blue-purple-pink club was banging tho.

Loki and Sylvie’s posture, facial expression and general body movement is similar. The variant point is hammered home here.

It’s interesting how Loki is in shock/denial of the Ark being destroyed whereas Sylvie immediately leaves.

The end music of this episode is beautiful. I love how it all builds to leave us on the soft tones of Dark Moon.

No one’s interested, but my mum and I bonded over the Jim Reeves version of this song and the Bonnie Guitar one.

Ep 3 review

Short episode with not much going on other than character development. However, if the first two were anything to go by, this episode will have greater implications on the plot. The pacing of this show is a bit strange, but we may see this change in the next season.

I mentioned previously that it would be a shame if the entire plot of this episode was made irrelevant by how they get off Lamentis - 1 next ep. This show has been really good at keeping us on our toes with the writing so they probably won’t take turns that have been speculated.

Happy mid-season guys! The following two episodes were apparently Tom’s favourites so we can expect some mayhem up ahead. See you next time!

Here's the link to my Ep 2 review

[dreaming-gamer]

Magic Touch – Nero X V Chapter 4

Firefighter Nero x Massage Therapist V

Thank you so much to everyone who has read this story! 💜💜💜 I'm sorry this chapter took so long to finish, but it's longer than usual! I hope you enjoy! 😀😀😀

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Nero could admit he struggled to not gaze out his window, just to check the process of V’s move for the rest of the day. Whenever he realized his gaze had stuck on the moving truck, or just straight over to the other apartment, he tried to keep busy for a bit. Cleaning up his own apartment was an efficient way to get rid of some energy because hey, even though he hadn’t gotten V’s number this time either, at least they were actual neighbors! That was still something to be happy, not to mention feel hopeful about. When the apartment looked great, he sat down on the couch, trying to occupy his mind with checking the TV.

The distance between his and V’s new home was too far for Nero to really see what was going within the apartment but dammit if his curiosity didn’t make him try, even from the couch. But when sight didn’t help, he turned to imagination.

And when he had been imagining for long enough, at least until he realized that an episode of the current show Nico had ordered him to try watching, Once Upon a Time, had passed with him having no memories of what happened in it, he abruptly tried to stop. Not watching the show, that felt like something Kyrie would enjoy, rather than Nico that was usually so much more into sci-fi shows, but thinking about V.

Or at least trying to stop. The gears in his mind seemed determined to spin in only one direction, producing more thoughts about V.

Nero’s gaze went one more time toward the window and he groaned, stretching himself out further on the soft couch. With a jab at the remote, he paused the show and let his thoughts be heard. Maybe he could head over, just ask how the move was going? But V was probably too busy focusing on his new home to want to see Nero. Or maybe he’d be happy for the distraction? Maybe he wouldn’t mind Nero’s help?

But then again, V already had the help of the moving company to get his furniture in place… maybe Nero was just better off praying for them to meet in the door or something soon, but he had no clue how V’s schedule looked or anything and he still didn’t have that stupid number dammit—

A simple guitar riff, only a few notes, made him aware of a new message from none other than Nico. Stretching his arm toward the living room table, Nero grabbed his phone, unlocked it and swiped the screen once, revealing the message in its entirety. Not that the content made him any wiser.

“Alright, ya can thank me now.” That was all it said, together with a ton of emojis, including a satisfied devil emoji. Nico had cackled at him, through text, when he had revealed that V’s number had escaped him, yet again, but then she had gotten back to work. Rather than trying to figure out whatever crazy plot or invention she had come up with now, he found it easier to cut to the chase:

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” Nero sent back, checking what time it was. 16:42, meaning work was almost over for her, of course that meant she’d start texting again. It took mere moments for him to get the next message.

“Your mysterious massage therapist friend called a while ago! He’s coming around to pick up the car tomorrow instead so I’m giving you a heads up!” More emojis before the message continued. “But that’s not even the best part!”

Nero waited, for about a minute or two for the continuation, but there was none. With quick thumbs, he tapped a reply. The heads up was certainly a ticket for him to once again try to get V’s number… but what else had she planned?

“Don’t leave me hanging! What’s the best part?”

“He asked if there was any way to rent a car trailer, says there’s something he needs to pick up. I asked what and he said bookshelves! Big ones!”

“How’s that the best part? Not following, Nico!”

“Duh! Ya don’t got work tomorrow, right? I told ‘im there’s one in the back that Dante’s not using. And that ya can help him out!”

Nero stared at the screen. Was she serious? His heart sped up from the feeling of hope.

“What did he say?!” Had V accepted the suggestion?

“I think ya might have a shot here Romeo, cuz he said yes, if yer fine with it. Took the liberty to say yeah for ya, so ya better holler yourself over here tomorrow at 4 in the afternoon, sharp!”

“Got it, will be there!” Nero hadn’t really asked for this favor but… it was nice of her to arrange it. “Thanks, I owe ya.”

“Music to ma ears!” Lots of emojis followed. “I’ll call in the favor when needed.” The mischievous emoji that followed made him think that she might have watched the show just a little too much recently.

“I took a break from watching. And I can get you an iced latte tomorrow.”

“That’s what I wanna hear! Make it extra strong and ask for some cream on top!”

Nero shook his head with a grin, Nico was the same as ever and while he wouldn’t admit it to her face, he loved her for it.

“Roger that.”

***

Nero felt like giving a shout of victory when the clock finally closed in on 4 ‘o clock. Anticipation had kept him checking the time way too often during the day, only to find that not as much time as he had hoped had passed, every check. But now, with half an hour to spare, he was ready, dressed in a chill hoodie with short sleeves and a new pair of shorts as he descended the steps. Maybe he should knock on V’s door and ask if he wanted to walk together to the garage, or he could simply walk ahead and meet V there…

Nero’s thoughts were cut short as V emerged from his new apartment building, wearing a cotton shirt, with only a few of the buttons buttoned over a black t-shirt with no print, and black trousers. The massage therapist seemed to notice him immediately, meeting him without a cane in his hands today.

“Good afternoon, Nero.” His voice was deep, smooth and accompanied by that smirk that made the butterflies in Nero’s stomach return full force.

“Hey.” Nero grinned back. “Heard from Nico you need some help. What was it, picking up bookshelves?”

V’s smirk remained and he gave a little nod.

“That is correct. She offered your assistance, with the words that you don’t have work today.”

“Well, she was right. Just promised her to get an iced latte before showing up at the garage, you fine with making that small detour?”

“No problem at all.” V claimed as they started to walk to their destination.

“So how’s it going, settling in and all?” Nero was looking forward to seeing a glimpse of how V’s apartment could look, even if it was probably a bit messy still.

“The furniture is all in place thankfully. I do admit that the unpacking of the boxes has not been as… swift as I would have liked. I had to leave for work, just after the moving company left yesterday.”

“Whoa, were you okay getting there without your car?” Nero wondered, there weren’t that many buses that passed by V’s working place, from what he knew.

“Let’s just say I arrived… a while before my assigned time, courtesy to the bus.” V smirked.

“Man, if I’d known, I’d have given you a ride again.” The words slipped out of Nero’s mouth before he even had time to think about them. “Didn’t have work yesterday.”

“I see. Thank you, for the offer.”

In his peripheral vision, Nero noticed that devilish smirk soften a bit. The butterflies in his stomach flew around with greater force.

“No need to thank me when the offer’s a bit too late!” He pointed out, one hand scratching the back of his head.

“Hm. I’d say that it’s the thought that counts.” V replied, just as they arrived at the café.

"You want anything?" Nero offered, he didn't need anything for himself, but it was a hot day.

"I'm fine, thank you." While Nero went inside, meeting the pleasant chill of an aircon, V waited outside on a bench in the shade. With V's sort of pale complexion, Nero had a feeling the sun could be an enemy. It didn’t take long for Nero to appear again, holding the iced latte, custom made after Nico's preferences.

Had Nero been the one waiting on that bench, he knew he would have had his focus on some silly mobile game or something. But V? His eyes seemed glued to the pages of a leatherbound book, with an emblazoned V on the cover.

"That's how you got your nick?" Nero joked with a nod to the book.

V chuckled.

"I admit it is my favorite… But that is not the case. It's the fifth edition." He replied, standing up. As V left the shade, Nero could see hints of dark bags under V’s eyes.

“Of what? Poetry?” Nero guessed, did novels even get published in five editions?

“Correct.” V smirked. “Shall we?”

“Yeah.” Nero nodded, matching the massage therapist’s stride while holding back a comment to ask if V had been sleeping too little. There was a slight slouch to V’s shoulders too, Nero noted.

The last of the walk didn’t take them long, the iced latte in Nero’s hand still cold when they stepped into the garage, Nico greeting them with a grin.

“Hiya! Yer beauty is all ready, attached the car trailer for ya!” She proclaimed, handing the car keys to V.

“Thank you, I’m glad to hear it. I shall return it tomorrow.” V took the keys with a polite smile.

“Great! There’s just the little extra payment for renting that, so let’s get it outta the way huh?” Nico showed the way towards the office, grabbing the iced latte from Nero with a wink and a grin. V followed her, while Nero remained, glancing at V’s car. It did look better than it had when it had been standing by the road, dripping oil a few days ago. And now, they were neighbors. Actual neighbors. Nero sometimes felt like he needed to pinch himself to be sure this wasn’t a dream...

It didn’t take long for Nico and V to return, the massage therapist giving Nero a smile.

“Are we ready then?”

Nico grinned knowingly at Nero from behind V, giving him a knowing grin as if to say: “Oh, I think yer ready alright.”

Nero had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at her, because V wasn’t aware of what was happening behind his back.

“Yeah, ready when you are. Let’s go. See you around, Nico.”

“See ya!” The mechanic grinned at them and opened up the garage gate for them, while the guys got into the car. Inside, the car seemed very clean, mostly because there wasn’t a lot of things in it. Nero only spotted a pair of sunglasses, close to the gear lever. The seats were old, like the rest of the car, but clean and comfortable. Upon starting, the engine sounds were surprisingly pleasant, not really rumbling, but rather a soft purring.

Nero waved at Nico as they passed the garage gate, just as she pulled out a cigarette to smoke. V’s driving was calm and steady.

“I’m grateful you agreed to help me with this, Nero.” The massage therapist admitted softly.

“Hey, no worries. Are we heading for the furniture store?”

“Not exactly, I found an advertisement.” V replied. “As long as you pick the bookshelves up yourself, they are completely free. The lady that posted the offer is apparently moving to a much smaller space, and will have no room for them.”

“Sounds like a great deal to me.” Nero grinned, and honestly, with V’s arms so twiggy… he could imagine why he needed some help.

When they arrived and he got to see the size of the two bookshelves himself, he was definitely glad he’d accompanied V. The bookshelves looked nice, he could admit, but they were two meters tall and made of rather heavy wood. With his regular training as a firefighter, Nero wasn’t worried for himself, but could V take it..?

He got his answer pretty quickly, since they had to cooperate to get the bookshelves onto the car trailer and Nero’s uncertainty must have shown, because V sent him a smirk when they grabbed a hold of a side each.

“I am not so frail Nero, remember?”

“Right, sorry.” The tips of Nero’s ears burned, he remembered very well how V had proved the strength, or perhaps rather technique he had, despite his lean frame. Both of them giving a nod, they started to carry the first shelf between them. It was heavy, but Nero’s grip was firm and he walked slowly to make sure V could keep up. With just one verbal confirmation that everything was going alright on both sides, they soon loaded the first shelf onto the car trailer and their cooperation went just as seamlessly with the second one.

“Well, that went great!” Nero grinned, tightening the last strap around the furniture before they could go and he was delighted to see V smirk back at him.

“Indeed. Let us hope it will go as smoothly, transporting them up three floors.”

Nero couldn’t lie, it sounded heavy. But it also meant he’d see a glimpse of V’s new apartment.

“Don’t worry, we got this.” His grin widened at the amused grin in V’s eyes.

***

“You… have been a great help.” Nero turned to find V smiling at him.

The apartment was still rather chaotic, consisting of two rooms. Taped boxes were still stacked here and there but from the furniture, most of it in wooden, natural colors, that was already in place, the apartment seemed nice. The smaller room contained the bed and now, the two bookshelves against the opposite wall.

“Told you we got this. No need to thank me.” Nero grinned.

Nero wondered how many bookshelves one person could need, because he counted four big ones, so far, compared to the single one in his own home. And he had lost count of how many of the boxes had “books” written on them.

“I would still like to. Would you like to stay for dinner? If you do not mind takeout? My treat.” V suggested.

Nero’s heart did a small, happy jump in his chest.

“Sounds great, I’m craving some good Chinese.”

V chuckled.

“Then perhaps you have a good recommendation?” He asked, tilting his head ever so slightly, with that charming little smirk on his lips.

“You bet I do.”

***

“I am honestly surprised you could eat that.” V looked at him curiously, when Nero finished his takeout dish of hot noodles, the sauce spicy and a bit sweet due to the touch of peanut. V’s vegetable wok looked really tasty too, but he was eating much slower than Nero.

“It’s not that spicy, just a pleasant tingle on my lips.”

“I would most likely find that too much. I do not eat spicy dishes very often.” V admitted, putting down his finished box on the round living room table before leaning back into the couch.

After all the unpacking, there seemed to be a slight slouch to V’s shoulders, even though he was sitting down to relax. It had been a nice experience, eating takeout by someone else’s living room table for once. Since Nero broke up with Kyrie, it hadn’t really been a common occurence to eat with someone else.

“You know, I could massage you?” The words stumbled out of Nero’s mouth before he had time to think about them.

V’s eyes widened.

“Pardon?”

“You look like your shoulders could need it. Come on, I can at least try, right?” Nero pressed, hoping the grin on his face looked as innocent as he wanted it to be.

V’s lips curled into a small smile.

“Very well.” With long fingers, he started to unbutton the soft cotton shirt, as he turned his back to Nero. The intricate patterns of the tattoos on his arms came into view, as he was now wearing only a black t-shirt on his upper body.

“I will tell you if you need to use more… force.” V’s tone was teasing.

Nero snorted, but the sound came out more as a chuckle.

“I apologized, didn’t I? Maybe you should tell me when I need to use less.” Nero set his hands on V’s slim shoulders and started to knead. Careful touches wasn’t his strong suit, but Nero did try to not put too much force into his palms or fingers. V’s skin was so pale under the tattoos, looked like it could bruise from so little, but he didn’t seem to complain yet. Until Nero found a rather big knot and V’s entire being stiffened.

“Sorry, too much?” Nero was about to take his hands off him, but V’s voice made him pause.

“No, if you do not mind… continue. It would help a great deal… to get rid of it.” V sounded like he was talking through clenched teeth.

“You sure?” Nero was doing this to help him relax, not make him stiff with pain!

“It will be worth it. And a knot like this is quite hard to get rid of, on your own.” The massage therapist replied firmly. Nero didn’t find it within himself to refuse, because V looked like he honestly could need it. Especially after the bookshelves they had worked together to carry up the stairs.

“Alright, if you say so…” Nero slowly put his hands more firmly on V’s shoulders, closing in on the knot and started to knead at it a bit more gently. He shifted between using his fingers and his palms, took note of when V seemed to be pained, or when he was fine. V gave him some pointers that made it easier to focus. Heat engulfed Nero’s fingers, not just from the massage he was giving, but also from how V’s pale skin was flushing so red that Nero could feel the heat through the t-shirt.

When Nero felt the knot dissolve a few minutes later, he swore he could both see and feel V’s back sag, a light sigh escaping the therapist’s lips. It wasn’t hard to feel that there were a few more minor knots here and there, but for now, maybe this would have to do. Nero used his fingers and knuckles for some gentle strokes over V’s skin. The massage therapist said nothing, his head sagging a little bit, as if he was collecting himself.

“Hey, lean back a bit.” Nero suggested, before he gently pulled on V’s shoulders, keeping his grip steady and V didn’t protest, letting himself be guided backwards. He blinked as his head ended up in Nero’s lap, but his eyes remained half-lidded.

“Blood rush to your brain?” Nero guessed with a smile, wow, V’s black hair looked silky, this close.

“Yes, a minor one.” V replied quietly, remaining where he was. Nero noted the dark bags under those beautiful green eyes again and the realization ached in his chest.

“You’re taking care of people for a living, but who’s taking care of you?” The words slipped out without Nero meaning to say them. The move, his work… V seemed to be working himself too hard.

V’s eyes widened, just a tiny bit, as if he clearly was not expecting those words. He opened those plump lips, paused before letting them form a fond smile.

“You need not worry, it is just a stressful period. Once I am more properly settled in, I am sure it will be better.”

“You’re not doing anything relaxing each week, are you?” Nero tried to keep his voice light and casual, but he found himself unwilling to let the subject go, just yet.

V chuckled, a light hint of tiredness in the sound.

“Are you using the words of my profession against me?”

“It seems like I need to.” Nero pointed out, then he puckered his lips in a rather humorous manner.

“One relaxing activity per week, like a bath… or a swim. Or if you find it relaxing, a massage.” He made sure to make his voice sound deliberate and deep, but in a completely over the top way.

Another chuckle left V, sounding close to a laugh.

“I do not sound like that. Nor do I look like that.”

“You do.” Nero grinned, still using his makeshift voice.

V stilled his next chuckle and locked eyes with him.

“Then, are you offering?” The smirk that grew on his face gave Nero’s good shivers down his back. Until he realized his mind had ground to a halt. Had he heard that right? V just watched him and Nero wasn’t sure what was on offer here.

“Huh?”

“To remind me, once per week. We will be living… close to each other now so perhaps… we can remind each other? Once per week, to do something relaxing.” V explained smoothly, observing his confusion, while Nero was still processing what he had heard. It sounded like he was dreaming.

Something forlorn came over V’s green eyes and he averted his gaze, but the smirk remained. “Pardon if my suggestion does not sit well with you, never mind it--”

“Sure.” The word stumbled out of Nero’s mouth, but he had never felt more sure about anything before. Whatever those moments would include just a massage or two, or a small talk or maybe… maybe a date, he didn’t know but either way, he was all for reminding V to relax, at least once a week. “Definitely, I’m in. It’s a good plan.” He quickly added, almost rambling. His heart skipped a beat when V’s smirk softened into a smile, his green eyes lighting up with mirth.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He replied softly, slowly straightening up from Nero’s lap, the slouch to his shoulders less noticeable.

Nero was watching him and V was observing him in turn. The living room was still filled with a few boxes, the smell of Chinese food in the air. Nero couldn’t help it, his eyes went to those plump, attractive lips.

V seemed to notice, as he chuckled. The flushed skin on his neck and shoulders wa returning to its original color. Tattoos peeked out under his t-shirt, just a few lines on his throat and Nero wondered again, how much they must have hurt to make.

Nero felt a shiver down his spine as V’s long, slightly cool fingers cupped his warm cheek.

This was happening. His heart beat like crazy as he leaned in, feeling V’s warm exhale on his lips…

And V’s phone rang.

He didn’t miss the flash of defeat in V’s eyes. Nero’s hand reached for V’s cheek, about to silently ask him to ignore it, just for now.

“Pardon me.” V said quietly, pulling away as he stood up, moved to collect his phone on the kitchen counter. Nero lowered his hand, along with the stone forming in his stomach.

“Yes?”

What followed was conversation that Nero barely caught, because he sank into the couch with a huge sigh. His heart still beat hard, like a drum at a festival. It had been so close! And V seemed occupied with whatever the call was about, in the kitchen.

Was the moment stolen? Gone? Would they continue when V returned? Nero felt himself gripping one of the soft cushions V had placed on the couch earlier, he really didn’t know what to do with his hands, or himself.

“I beg your pardon, I am a bit preoccupied at this… yes, yes… Is there truly no one else that can…?” A pause, a soft inhale of breath. “Very well, I understand. I will arrive shortly.” Nero didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but his stomach dropped at the words. It felt like V’s chance for relaxation tonight was slipping out of his fingers.

The apologetic look on V’s face as he returned, confirmed his suspicions.

“I apologize, but I appear to be urgently needed elsewhere.”

Nero gave a small nod, holding in the disappointment that created a small twinge in his chest. V looked bothered, so Nero pushed it down, for now.

“Everything alright?”

“I am part of a… association for literature lovers, I suppose you could call it. We are but a group of individuals that sometime gather for discussions about various pieces of literature. We sometimes attempt to arrange various activities, such as book fairs.” V explained, seemingly checking his schedule in a leather bound calendar. There was no sound of a sigh on his lips, but it could be seen in how his shoulders seemed to tense, again.

“We are meant to host a public poetry reading, pretty soon. I have been asked to help arrange it, as well as participating. Now, we have encountered some unforeseen difficulties and my presence has been requested to solve it.” V looked up again, lips slightly parted. The mirth in his eyes from earlier seemed replaced by determined calculation.

Nero felt his heart sink, for two reasons. The moment was completely gone with the wind, or rather the tones of a cellphone signal. And V was probably not going to relax anymore tonight.

“I truly apologize, Nero.” V said, his tone quiet. “I’m afraid I must be going.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Nero assured quickly. Sure, he was disappointed that this was cut short, but it seemed to be for something really important for V. Poetry seemed to be so close to his heart. Nero didn’t want to stand in the way for that, he rose from the couch easily. “It’s fine, really. We can just do this… some other time?” There was a small hope in his voice, he couldn’t help it.

V smiled, his gaze softening a bit.

“Yes, I would like that. Let’s remind each other, once per week.”

“Once a week.” Nero agreed, as V followed him to the door of the apartment where half of the things still needed to be put in order. “You taking the car?”

“No, it is within walking distance.” Nero opened his mouth, about to offer to walk with him, but slowly closed it again. Perhaps V needed time to think, he didn’t want to act stubborn. Silence drifted between them, broken only by their steps down the stairs.

“Oh, and Nero?” V said as they stepped outside his apartment building, about to separate. “Thank you for the wonderful massage.”

Nero felt his cheeks, as well as the tips of his ears blush red at the compliment, especially since that smirk was in place again. V chuckled as he held his cane in a sure grip.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, later!” The heat in Nero’s cheeks didn’t lessen as he watched V go. A massage therapist, a poet. A man with a determined gaze and a new apartment, suddenly living right across the street from Nero’s.

He walked into his own apartment, touching his lips lightly, feeling those damn butterflies flutter around in his stomach again. It had been so close and yet so far. But they had made a promise now, there was hope. And Nero had a plan, he’d just go get some paper from his apartment…

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Tagging: @la-vita and @thedyingmoon 💜💜💜

[jrob64]

Devastation and Healing (Chapter 9)

Sergeant Killian Jones has had more than his share of tragedy in his life. When he’s injured in an IED explosion, he’s assigned to a physical therapist named Emma Swan. While she tries to help him heal physically, can they help each other heal emotionally?

Rating: T

Part 10/?

Chapter summary: Emma & Killian enjoy the rest of the Nolan’s party, and get to know each other a little better. 

So many thanks to @hookedmom​ for helping me pull another chapter together, as she always does. Thanks to @captainsjedi​ for the beautiful pic set, which I still admire every time I add it to a new chapter, & of course to my friends and support system @kymbersmith-90​, @kmomof4​ and @xsajx​. 

Story posted to Tumblr: Prologue / Ch.1 / Ch.2 / Ch.3 / Ch.4 / Ch.5 / Ch.6 / Ch.7 / Ch.8

And also to  Ao3  &  ffn

********* David stood behind his wife and reached around to hand her a rather thick, obviously homemade  book. She showed everyone the title, which was “Princess or Prince?” Opening the front cover, she began to read.

“Once upon a time there was a very handsome, charming Prince whose name was David.” She stopped to smile up at her husband. “He met a beautiful, brilliant Princess named Mary Margaret who was the fairest of them all.”

“I wrote that part!” David admitted proudly. 

“They fell in love and got married.”

“Yer not gonna tell us HOW this baby was made, are ya?” Will Scarlett shouted out. His girlfriend Belle gave him a sharp jab with her elbow.

Mary Margaret smiled good naturedly and answered, “No, this book is rated G, I promise!”

Sitting at the picnic table, Emma giggled at the exchange. Killian gazed at her, thinking how much he loved that sound, and hoping that he’d get to hear it often in the future. 

The mother-to-be continued. “Together, they had the fairy tale life that they’d always dreamed about. There was just one thing that would help them to live happily ever after, and that was to have a baby princess or prince of their own. Then one day, they found out that their wish had been granted! It didn’t matter to them if they were going to be parents of a girl or a boy, but they were eager to find out all the same. When they did, they couldn’t wait to reveal the answer to their family and friends.”

Mary Margaret paused to turn the book around, and David moved to kneel down beside her. Knowing that this was the moment of the reveal, Emma sat forward on the bench and grabbed onto Killian’s arm in her excitement. He nearly pulled away, as she had taken hold of his left arm, and was clutching the brace where his wrist would be located. But when he looked up at her, she gave no indication whatsoever that she wasn’t touching flesh. There was no sign of embarrassment or revulsion on her part. He could almost feel a piece of his heart click back into place. 

There was an air of anticipation throughout the whole crowd as Mary Margaret held the book and David turned the page to display an elaborate pop-up that announced “It’s a Prince!”

A cheer went up and people rushed forward to congratulate the couple.

Emma and Killian turned to each other with identical giant smiles on their faces.

“A baby boy!” she shouted. 

“Do you want to go over, Swan?” he asked. 

She hadn’t yet let go of his arm. “No, let’s wait until the hubbub dies down. Is that okay?”

“Fine with me. Can I get you something to drink?”

“That would be great! I think they have some hard lemonade.”

“What flavor?”

“You can choose for me. I’m not picky.”

Reluctantly, he pulled away and went in search of the coolers. He hadn’t taken two steps when Ruby slid into his vacated spot on the bench.  

“Sooooo, it looks like your conversation went well,” she smirked.

“Yeah, it was good,” Emma hedged. 

“What did you talk about?”

“Lots of stuff.”

“Oh come on, Ems! Throw me a bone, here! Have you guys moved past the friends stage? Are you at least going to start talking to each other more often?”

“Um, I think so? We’re uh, neither one of us is ready to jump into a serious relationship right now, Ruby, so just let us set our own pace, okay?”

Her friend nodded. “Yeah, okay. As long as you give him, and yourself, a chance.” They sat without speaking for a few moments, then Ruby said quietly, “I have a confession to make.”

“Do I really want to hear this?” Emma asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I might have peeked through the door and saw the two of you kissing.” She looked at her friend out of the corner of her eye to gauge her reaction, but it wasn’t what she expected. 

“It was a nice kiss,” Emma said dreamily.

“Wait - you’re not gonna yell at me or anything?” 

Her friend shrugged. “I’m not really surprised that you were spying. Are you forgetting that I’ve known you for years, Rubes?”

“Well, I really did try to not...oh, who am I kidding? I just couldn’t help myself! I think you two would be great together.” 

She suddenly realized that Emma didn’t seem to be listening to her any more, so she followed her line of vision. Unsurprisingly, she was watching Killian. He was on his way back with two bottles in his hand, but had stopped to talk to Will Scarlett, who must have been telling a funny story because Killian was frequently throwing his head back in laughter. 

She looked back at her friend and saw that the same dreamy look had returned to her face. “Oh, you’ve got it bad, girl,” she murmured. 

“What?” Emma asked distractedly. 

“Nothing. I’m going to go talk to Mary Margaret and David now that most folks have cleared out.”

“Okay. We’ll do that after Killian gets back with my drink. Oh, and Ruby?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

*********

“Sorry it took so long, Love. I got sidetracked by Will,” Killian said, handing her drink to her. 

Emma noticed the term of endearment that he’d used, and it made her smile. She couldn’t help but think that before they had their conversation in the living room, she probably would have objected to him using it. 

“That’s fine. It looked like he was telling quite a story.”

“Oh, he’s quite a story teller, all right! You can only believe about a third of what comes out of his mouth. The rest of it is just a load of nonsense.”

Emma laughed and took a sip out of her bottle. “Mmm, peach. One of my favorites.”

“I chose wisely then, huh?”

“Are you quoting an Indiana Jones movie?”

“Maybe. Do you like that series?”

“Yep! We’ll have to binge watch it sometime soon.”

Killian loved the idea of spending hours watching anything with Emma Swan. 

“Are you ready to go talk to Dave and Mary Margaret now?” he asked.

“Sure.”

She reached over to take his hand, so he picked up his beer with his prosthesis, and they walked over to congratulate their friends hand-in-hand. 

*********

As the evening went on, Emma found herself separated from Killian, while they both circulated to talk to different groups of friends. Every now and then, she would look across the yard and find him, only to see his eyes on her as well. Each time it happened, it made her smile.

By eleven o’clock, the crowd had thinned considerably, until there were just eight people left sitting in lawn chairs on the patio. David had Mary Margaret’s feet pulled into his lap and was rubbing them since she’d mentioned how they were starting to hurt. Will was entertaining everyone with his stories of their days in basic training, most of which David and Killian argued never happened. Emma was beside Belle, whom she’d come to like very much, and both were nearly in tears from the boys’ banter. Ruby was sitting extremely close to David’s co-worker, Graham Humbert, who was the county’s dog warden, and who didn’t seem to mind in the least that she was practically in his lap. 

When Emma looked over to see Mary Margaret hiding a yawn behind her hand, she announced, “I think the party’s over when the baby mama can’t stay awake!” 

Everyone started gathering the bottles, cans, and other trash scattered around the yard and on the tables, over Mary Margaret’s objections that they would clean up the next morning. Soon everything was back in pre-party condition. 

Hugs, handshakes and goodbyes were shared, then Belle drove off with Will riding shotgun, and Ruby and Graham exchanged numbers along with a more-than-friendly kiss before driving away separately. 

Back in the kitchen, Mary Margaret was sitting on a bar stool looking through their reveal book again, as David came in from outside after making sure that the flames in the fire pit were thoroughly doused.

“I can’t believe you made that book yourselves,” Emma remarked. “And in such a short time! You just found out that it’s a boy on Monday!”

“We had the whole thing finished except for the pop-up,” the hostess said. “It wasn’t hard to do just that one page.” 

“Well, I’m really happy that I’m gonna be an honorary aunt to a little boy,” Emma said, giving each of her friends a hug. Killian shook hands with David and hugged Mary Margaret as well, sharing his congratulations once again. 

“I didn’t see your car out front, Swan,” Killian observed, as she was pulling her purse out of the pantry where she’d stowed it.  

“I parked in the driveway. It was easier to bring the cake in through the garage.”

“You were in charge of transporting the cake then?”

“Mary Margaret asked me to pick it up for them since they were busy getting ready for the party.”

“That was kind of you.” He shifted back and forth from foot to foot. “May I walk you to your car?” he asked hopefully. 

She chuckled, “Afraid I’ll get mugged on the way?”

He reached up to scratch behind his ear, then smoothed the hair down at the nape of his neck. She had noticed that this seemed to be a nervous habit of his, and she thought it was adorable.

“No, I, um, I just thought that…”

She took pity on him. “I’d be happy to have you walk me to my car, Killian.”

After saying one final goodbye to Mary Margaret and David, Emma led the way out through the garage to her VW. She tossed her purse in the car, then turned back to Killian. “It was a great party, wasn’t it?”

“It was. I’m so happy for them, and I can’t wait to meet the little lad.”

“I hope that means you’ll still be around when he’s born.”

He nodded. “I plan to be. Actually, I’ve got a job lined up at the library after my discharge. It’s just reshelving books and doing some odds and ends. I don’t know how long I’ll end up working there, but at least I’ll have some money coming in while I’m taking classes.”

“That’s great! Do you have any idea how much longer until your discharge is approved?”

“I would say a couple more weeks at least. The papers have been filed for about eleven weeks, and they said it would be three months or so.”

“Where do you plan to live?”

“I found a hotel that rents by the month. The rooms are more like small apartments, because they’re designed for people who stay there long term.”

“That’s good. Well...I guess I’d better let you get going. You’ve got a longer drive than me.”

“Can I...would it be okay if I call or text you?”

“Of course it is. You already have my number.”

“I know, but before, I just...I wasn’t sure that you would want me to use it. I kind of felt like...like it would...make you uncomfortable. I’m hoping that’s not the case any longer?” he asked, looking up at her from under his eyelashes. 

“It won’t make me uncomfortable. I feel like we’ve moved past that point now, at least I’m pretty sure I have. I want to be in contact with you, Killian, but like I said before, just be patient, okay?”

“Absolutely. I’m not ready to jump into another serious relationship right now either, so I’m good with taking it slow.”

Emma wanted to ask him about the serious relationship he referred to, but she didn’t think that it was the time or place for it. Instead she asked, “Could we have lunch together next week? Tuesday, perhaps?”

He grinned. “I’d like that very much. Would you like to meet at the same diner again?”

She considered for a few moments. “How about you pick me up at the clinic?”

He’d assumed the last time that she had wanted to drive separately because she thought it was unprofessional to ride with a patient, even though he technically wasn’t by that time. So to make this offer seemed like a big step for her. 

“That works for me. Shall we say 11:00?”

“My lunch break doesn’t start until twelve that day.”

“Twelve o’clock then?”

“Sounds perfect.” 

They stood looking at each other, until Killian decided to take a chance, and gently grasped her hips to tug her closer to him. Emma responded by putting her arms around him and sliding her hands up his back. He looked into her eyes, asking for permission, then slowly and sweetly placed his lips on hers. The kiss they shared was gentle, warm and so romantic that Emma felt her knees weaken. It only lasted a few seconds, but they were wonderful seconds. They kept their foreheads pressed together to maintain the contact for a bit longer, then Killian whispered, “Good night, Emma.”

“Good night,” she managed to say. 

He took her hand, lifted it to his lips, and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. Then he turned and walked to his truck, blowing out a shaky breath and touching his fingers to his lips, not knowing that Emma was doing the same as she got into her car. 

*********

Killian was getting into bed when his text notification dinged. He unlocked his phone to find a message from Emma. 

E: I had a nice time tonight. Thank you for listening and understanding. Sleep well.

K: I enjoyed it too and I’m always willing to listen. Pleasant dreams. 

For the first time since the IED explosion, he went to sleep quickly with a smile on his face, and slept peacefully the entire night. 

*********

Killian debated whether or not to text Emma the next day. As much as he had enjoyed the kiss they’d shared at the end of the night, he didn’t want to push her. But he’d liked spending time with her so much at the party, he wanted to keep their conversation going in some way. He finally built up the courage to send a quick message early that evening. 

Emma had just come out of the bathroom after taking a shower, when she heard an incoming text. Expecting it to be from Ashley, Ruby or Mary Margaret, she was surprised, but pleased, to see Killian’s name. She opened it and giggled when she saw the same swan emoji at the end of his message that he had included in his first one all those weeks ago.  

She typed out a response, then went to the bathroom to get her hairbrush. In between reading and responding to his messages, she brushed out her hair and settled into a comfortable chair in the living room. She was glad that she hadn’t made any plans for her Sunday evening because she was enjoying texting back and forth with him. 

They were trying to get to know each other a bit better by exchanging their interests, along with their likes and dislikes on topics ranging from television shows and movies, to places they’d visited, and favorite foods.

K: I’m not very picky when it comes to food, though I haven’t developed a fondness for sushi. 

E: I can eat it, but it’s not my favorite either, although I do like other seafood. I’d say my first choice is Mexican, followed by Chinese and Italian. 

K: I like all of those as well. I’m not a big steak eater. I’d rather have chicken or a good pork chop. 

E: I see our taste in food is similar, but I guess that’s no surprise since you really seemed to enjoy that grilled cheese!

K: I did! I’m glad we’re going back to that diner on Tuesday. I’ve been craving another one!

E: You sound like Mary Margaret with her cravings.

K: Trust me, it’s not for the same reason! 

Emma was having so much fun reading his texts and coming up with replies, that when Killian sent a message that he should probably let her get some rest, she was astonished to see how much time had passed. She stretched and yawned, carrying her phone with her as she went to get Evie’s leash for the puppy’s last trip outside for the night. When she sent her final text of the evening to him, she added the picture of the swan, knowing that she had a new favorite emoji. 

*********

On Tuesday, as the clock crept closer to 12 noon, Emma stole glances at it more frequently. Ashley noticed, but waited until the therapist had applied the ice packs for her last patient of the morning, before pulling her aside. 

“Is something wrong, Ems?” she asked.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Because you keep looking at the clock like you’re running late for something.”

Emma hadn’t told any of her friends about meeting Killian for lunch. She didn’t want them making a big deal out of it, because she wasn’t quite sure herself what was happening between them yet. 

Making a quick decision to tell Ashley, she said, “Um, Killian Jones is picking me up at noon to go to lunch with him.”

Her friend smiled broadly. “That’s great, Emma! Why don’t you go ahead and freshen up? I’ll finish with Private Clarke.”

“No, it’s fine, I can…”

“All I have to do is remove the ice packs when the timer goes off. I think I can handle that,” the assistant said with a smile and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Go!”

Knowing there wasn’t any point in arguing, Emma went back to her office and checked her makeup and hair. She applied a touch more lipstick, tucked some stray hair back into her braid, then gave it a quick spritz of hair spray from the small pump bottle she kept in her purse. 

When she walked back out into the treatment room, she saw Killian standing by the front desk. He was dressed in jeans and a light blue button down instead of the fatigues she was accustomed to seeing him in during the day, and he was fidgeting nervously with the chain that she knew held his mother’s ring. 

As she approached, he turned his head and saw her. His eyes lit up and he walked over to meet her. 

“Hello, beautiful!”

“Hey!” she blushed. “I’m ready if you are.”

Both of them turned to wave at Ashley, who was preparing the table for the afternoon. She waved back, telling them to enjoy themselves, then watched them walk out to his truck. 

They went to the diner again, and put in the same food order. After finding an open table, their conversation started flowing freely. They discussed some memories from the party, and talked about how they thought Mary Margaret and David would handle being parents. 

“They’re naturals,” Emma declared. “Sometimes I feel like they’re my parents the way they’re always watching out for me.”

“Aye, that babe will be in good hands,” Killian agreed. “David was my first friend in basic. I think he could tell that I was in need of one at that time. They’re both very caring people.”

The time passed much more quickly than either one of them wanted it to, and soon he was dropping her back off at the therapy center. 

After taking her hand to help her from the truck, he continued to hold it. “Swan, I was wondering…” He paused, searching for the right words.

“Wondering what, Killian?” she prompted.

“Would you...would you go out with me? On an actual date, I mean.”

Emma knew that he expected her to hesitate. He probably thought that after taking one step forward by going to lunch together, she’d take two steps back when he asked her out. 

So it was a bit of a surprise to both of them when she answered firmly, “Yes, Killian. I would very much like to go on a date with you.”

*********

Thank you for reading, reblogging and taking the time to comment. You make this author’s heart so happy when you do!

Tagging @live-in-my-reality @nikkiemms @searchingwardrobes @wyntereyez @therooksshiningknight @kmomof4 @jonesfandomfanatic @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @therealstartraveller776 @snowbellewells @emmythedaydreamer @heartofkillian @pirateherokillian @kymbersmith-90 @let-it-raines @resident-of-storybrooke @captainsjedi @hookedmom @ohmightydevviepuu @queen-serena88 @daxx04 @branlovestowrite @theonceoverthinker @laschatzi @coolcat08 @welllpthisishappening @wellhellotragic @resident-of-storybrooke @mayquita @badwolfreturns @djlbg @withheartfulloflove @squidvisious @xsajx @lyssapup27 @tohellwiththepancakes13 @annastasiarinaldiva @hollyethecurious @kday426 @ohmyjoan @oncechi @spartanguard @hookpiratejones @apromisednightcap @andiirivera @swanlovato @ouat-the-hell @adoringjen @killianswannn @imlaxdris71 @xarandomdreamx @everything-person @eeteeaytay @glennaywh @gingerchangeling @lexie27 @reylowillliveon @tumblercanbetheworst @vvbooklady1256 @teamhook @myfearless-love @ultraluckycatnd @timeless-love-story @bugheadswanjones @goblynn @csalltheway @sals86 @badcats-andmice @darthbecky726 @166hours @kissmeretard @sederiana @eherron14 @bubblegum1425 @klynn-stormz @harshini01 @kingofmyheart14 @yasbio2015 @officerrogers @captainswan-shipper88 @sh12pen-bookfan​ @loveliklove​ @singersdd @bluewildcatfanatic​ @lfh1226-linda​ @crick-11 @angellifedeath​ @mythologicalmango​ @socmono @brustudyblog​ @harshini01 @artistoncer​ @hails-paige​ @eleveneitherway​ @broadwaybabe18​ @idristardis​ @captainswan21​

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Qualified

Based off this post by @stop-it-anxiety

Summary: Virgil’s usual therapist was... unique. The man who just slumped into his seat is even unique-r. Of everything Virgil expected from the stranger, it definitely wasn’t actual advice. Pairings: Platonic sleepxiety, romantic remile, background LAMP, background RED Warnings: Sympathetic deceit (mentioned), food mention (kinda), like one swear, fears of abandonment

    Virgil hadn’t been thrilled about going to see yet another therapist. One too many bad experiences in the past had made him extremely hesitant when his boyfriends told him about Dr. Emile Picani.

    True to their word, however, Emile had been… unique, somehow in a good way. His methods weren’t orthodox, in any sense of the word, but they worked. It helped that Emile had seemed so familiar almost immediately, a feeling Virgil later attributed to how similar yet different he was from his boyfriends- logical like Logan, yet extremely bubbly like Patton. And for Roman, so much Disney. So, so much Disney.

    But it worked. Emile’s general kookiness and tendency to link problems to cartoons put Virgil more at ease than any clinical outlook at his problems ever had. It had been a few months since he first got asked, “Do you how do?” and he was doing surprisingly great.

    So, of course, now was the perfect time for things to go upside down.

   He had been anxiously checking the clock- it was normal for Emile to come in a little bit after the patient; he always had some dramatic entrance planned (Virgil was still finding glitter in his clothes from the time he had used a sparkle bomb), but five minutes late? The doc was normally very punctual- when the door opened. He glanced over, expecting to see Emile doing something positively ridiculous.

   Instead, someone in a black leather jacket and sunglasses breezed into the room, flopping into Emile’s chair and throwing their legs over one of the arms. Virgil watched, bewildered, as the stranger took a long sip from their starbucks cup.

   “So,” They drawled, letting their head roll to the side so they were actually looking at Virgil, “tell me about your emotional shit.”

   Virgil frowned, confused. “...Who are you?”

   “Emile is sick, so I’m your stand-in therapist.”

   “Did you even go to medical school?”

   “Listen, babes, we’re here to talk about you, not my qualifications.” They answered, taking another sip of their drink.

   Virgil crossed his arms. “Yeah, because talking to a wannabe rock star whose name I don’t even know and has probably never seen a degree of higher learning is going to do me a lot of good.”

   “You forgot caffeine addicted, sugar.” They replied, unfazed. “And if you want my name so bad, it’s Remy.”

   “Great.” Virgil said sarcastically. “Random stranger Remy, wannabe rock star with a coffee addiction, wants to try and help me solve my problems.”

   “Random stranger?” Remy repeated, sounding faux hurt. “I’m just a random stranger to you?”

   “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

   “Yeah I got that bit.” Remy responded. “I’m hung up on the fact that you’ve never heard of me.”

   “Should I have?”

   Remy frowned, though he still sounded more amused than upset as he grumbled, “Figures Em would be responsible… not talking about his personal life with his patients…”

   “Actually, that reminds me.” Virgil said, mostly ignoring the mumbles. “How do you even know Emile? Are you a past patient with an authority complex, or-”

   “I’m his better boyfriend.” Remy said, cutting Virgil off.

   Virgil scoffed. “Better? Oh, so it’s a superiority complex.”

   “Nah, it’s just the truth.” Remy countered. “See, Dante’s a knockout of a man, but he’s not willing to step up to bat when it matters. ‘Em’s sick, we should cancel his appointments.’ ‘No, Rem, you playing therapist is not a good idea.’ ‘I think you drinking another coffee right now will kill you do you really think you can offer any form of sane therapy.’ He’s such a killjoy.”

   “Did you ever consider he might have been right?”

   “Very briefly, yes.” Remy admitted with another sip of what Virgil now suspected to be a supposedly fatal coffee. “But listening to him wouldn’t have been much fun.”

   “So you decided to disturb your boyfriend’s patients?”

   “Of course not!” Remy replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I’m here to disturb a patient. You’re the only person Em was seeing today, so here I am! To deliver you helpful emotional advice!”

   Virgil chuckled. “Yeah, that’s going to go well.”

   “Well it might if you actually told me something.” Remy said, shifting in the chair so his legs were hooked over the top and his head was dangling above the ground. “Spill the tea, hunny.” He ordered while, somehow, taking a sip of his drink and neither spilling nor choking on it.

   “How- How are you doing that?” Virgil asked, thinking back to his one attempt to drink upside down. It had ended with a ruined shirt and a good two minutes of choked panic.

   “It’s an artform. Now spillllllllllll.”

   “This is extremely unprofessional.” Virgil responded before continuing, “But things are fine. There’s the fear of abandonment but that’s nothing new-”

   “Don’t care if it isn’t new.” Remy said, stopping Virgil. “Sounds important. Let’s start there.”

   Virgil raised an eyebrow questioningly. “You actually want to try and do something helpful?”

   “Did you think I wanted to hear about your most likely boring life for kicks?”

   “Basically, yeah.”

   “You give me no credit, babe. Just because I’m not certified to say helpful shit doesn’t mean I can’t.” Remy smirked. “Maybe you haven’t heard, but one of my boyfriends is a therapist. I’ve learned a lot from him.”

   “I find that doubtful, but go wild.” Virgil said, leaning back into the couch.

   Remy placed his cup down next to his head before pressing his hands together like a prayer beneath (or in this case, over) his chin. He wouldn’t have looked serious if he was sitting right-side up, but upside down just made him look even dorkier than his cartoon-adoring partner.

   “Tell me, Virgil, why do you have abandonment issues?” He asked, sounding about as professional as a five-year-old playing doctor.

   “The universe hates me.”

   “Mmhmmm yes yes let me write this down.” Remy said, nodding as he dug into his jean pocket, pulling out a silver sharpie, rolling down his jacket sleeve and scribbling ‘universe sucks’ on his arm. “Could you elaborate on that? How does it make you feel?”

   “Like I’m going to be abandoned.”

   Remy nodded again. “I see… have you considered the possibility that you are, in fact, not going to be abandoned?”

   “Miracle of miracle- my problems are solved!”

   “No need to be so sarcastic.” Remy said, jabbing his sharpie at Virgil. “My solution is airtight. But if you insist on being ‘complicated’ and having ‘complex problems’ you should probably tell me why you think everyone is going to abandon you for reasons other than the general hatred of the universe focused against you.”

   Virgil chuckled. “That’s a lot of big words you strung together.”

   “And that’s some very good discussion redirection you’re doing.”

   Virgil clicked his tongue. Mr. Indoor Sunglasses and Afternoon Coffee was smarter than he seemed. “Listen, I realize I’m worth a lot more than I thought before I started meeting with Emile. But I’m still nowhere on the level anyone I know is. The other shoe’s gotta fall and I am, stupidly, still afraid for it.”

   Remy started writing on his arm again, making bullets beneath the ‘universe sucks statement’;

   -’Imposter’ boi

   -Sad boi

   -Stupid boi

   “Hey!” Virgil exclaimed defensively. “‘Stupid boi?’ I thought you were supposed to be making me feel better about my self-worth or something, not attack me.”

   “You’ve clearly got that front covered, love, I don’t even have to touch it.” Remy replied, putting a little star next to the last bullet point for emphasis. “But while you cover the attacks, I’ll focus on the facts.”

   “Nice rhyme.”

   “I’m good like that. Now I’m not allowed to look at Em’s notes because patient confidentiality or something silly and highly technical, so you’re gonna have to lend me a hand here- who are you afraid will abandon you? Y’know, aside from everyone.”

   Virgil shrugged. “I don���t know. My boyfriends I guess.”

   “How long have y’all been dating?”

   “Two and a half years.”

   “...Sugar, I don’t know how to explain the concept of ‘if they haven’t left yet they ain’t gonna leave ever’ to you but-”

   Virgil cut him off, “That is not how relationships work. If it was the divorce rates would be a lot lower.”

   “You miss my point.” Remy said with a sigh, righting himself in the chair and for the first time that day looking actually serious. “Do relationships fail? Yes, it sucks, but it can happen to a couple of fifty years. That’s just life, sweetheart, I won’t sugarcoat it.”

   “Helpful.”

   “Let me finish. When those relationships fail, it’s because a fight or an opinion they didn’t know the other had comes up. Or something, I don’t know, I’m not a relationship counselor.” Remy added with a shrug. “What I do know, is that relationships that have existed for longer than six months don’t break up because they suddenly think one of them is worthless or some other bullshit. If your bfs are that pretentious, they would’ve dropped you ages ago-”

   “My self-esteem is doing amazingly, thanks-”

   “-and you would have been the better for it.” Remy finished, waving a finger. “You really need to stop interrupting. You miss the best parts.”

   “...What do you mean?” Virgil asked, pausing as he actually processed what Remy had said. Remy smiled, and it must have been the most gentle and genuine one he had worn all day.

   “Whether or not you’ll admit it, Virgil, you have worth. A whole hecking lot of it, as my cartoonish partner would say. If your boyfriends had left you in the beginning, it would have been their loss. And I find it highly doubtful they’re going to let you escape them now.” Remy leaned in a bit, smile morphing into a more mischievous one as he added in a stage whisper, “And if they do, I’ll help you egg their house.”

   Virgil laughed at that. “Y’know,” He started after a moment, still smiling, “you’re not as incompetent as you look.”

   “The secret is setting expectations so low, any single thing you do right is an overachievement.” Remy told him as he stood up, dramatically stretching before picking his coffee cup back up. “Now, as much fun as beating your problems with a stick is, the session’s over, and I have two boyfriends to annoy.”

   “Even the sick one?”

   “Annoyance is my primary personality trait. He knew the sort of caregiving he was signing up for.” Remy said as he moved towards the door. He stopped in the doorway for a second to turn back to Virgil with a wave. “Toodles, babes!”

   And then he was gone, just about as dramatically as he had come. Virgil remained seated on the couch for a moment, shaking his head with a smile.

   When he finally convinced himself to head out to the parking lot, he found Patton waiting, sitting on the hood of his car. He grinned broadly and waved when he spotted Virgil, greeting him with a kiss.

   “How was it today?” Patton asked while Virgil moved for the passenger door. “You were in longer than usual. Session run late?”

   Virgil shook his head with a chuckle. “Nah. Today was just… unique.”

   “Good unique or bad unique?” Patton asked hesitantly.

   “Good unique.” Virgil reassured him. “I’ll tell you what happened once we meet up with the pen and the sword.”

   Patton raised his eyebrows. “Oh, nicknames? Someone’s happy!”

   “Yeah, Pat, I am.”

   Patton smiled even bigger and turned on the car.

   ~~

   “Loves, your favorite bitch it back!”

   The house quietly regarded Remy with no response. Remy frowned as he dropped his sunglasses on the small table in the hall. He wandered to the bedroom, finding Emile curled up and watching Steven Universe, not even noticing Remy’s entrance.

   Smiling, Remy snuck around the bed, shrugging off his jacket before sliding into the bed and hugging Emile from behind. Startled, Emile turned his head, relaxing when he realized it was Remy.

   “Oh, hi Rem.” Emile said, sleepy, before his eyes widened. He tried to pull away from Remy. “You’re going to get yourself sick.”

   Remy just tightened his grip and laughed. “I have no immune system, love, I’ve been destined to get sick since your first sneeze. Plus, I will risk illness for attention and cuddles. Where’s Dante? I want triple cuddles.”

   Emile gave up trying to escape the hug, instead rolling his head so he could partially tuck it into Remy’s shoulder. “He’s getting me ice cream.”

   “What? Why?”

   “Because I’m sick and I said please.”

   “I thought ice cream was ‘unhealthy’ and ‘not for sick people.’”

   “Dante said that because when you were sick, it was from drinking too much coffee.” Emile replied. “Speaking of, you didn’t pick up any on the way to my session, did you?”

   “...No?”

   “Rem.”

   Remy chuckled and pressed a kiss to Emile’s temple. “Don’t worry, darling, I’m not going to allow for a repeat of the Coffee Disaster of May.”

   “Hmm.” Emile hummed, disbelievingly. “How was Virgil?”

   “Pretty good. Worried about his boyfriends leaving him but I casually called him stupid and everything was fixed.”

   “This is why no one believes you went to med school.”

   Remy twisted his head a bit to smirk at Emile. “Hey, my complete lack of professionalism is the entire reason you get to be the psych doc without even having to think about student loans.”

   “I know.” Emile said, moving up so he could kiss Remy. “It’s why I love you.”

   “Oh, so all I am to you is a free bachelor's and master’s degree?”

   “It’s one of the many reasons I love you.” Emile amended, yawning as he curled closer to Remy. “Along with the fact you’re a great hugger.”

   “And to think you tried to escape my hug but five minutes ago.” Remy teased, but he curled in a little more as well, quietly watching Steven Universe with his boyfriend as they both gradually fell asleep.

[saiilorstars]

Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 13: Playing with Fire

/ Story Masterlist /

Fandom: Law & Order SVU

Pairing:  Rafael Barba x Original female character

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Montserrat does her best to help Rafael as Muñoz's case comes to an end, even when the ADA is snarkier than usual.

Montserrat sat on her therapist's couch, relaying with ease what was currently going on with her. It felt nice having a place to freely talk without fear of being snapped at. It was just easy, which showed a lot of progress she made since she first arrived. Dr. Weslin had that recorded every time Montserrat showed up too. Even now, while Montserrat debated by herself whether or not to take it easy on her brother, she showed significant to in the free space offered to talk in.

"I mean, Gael is just being overly dramatic. He's ignoring me and what's worse - or childish one could say - is that he's separating his girls from me too," Montserrat sighed, pausing to think about her older brother. "Sometimes I just want to smack him like when we were kids. We used to actually throw punches at each other, can you believe that? Dad had to come in and separate us. He'd yell at us for thirty minutes without break."

"It seems like your father has always been your mediator then," Weslin noted. "Does he have anything to say about this argument between you and your brother?"

"He doesn't know and honestly he shouldn't have to deal with this. I'm almost 30 and Gael is reaching his forties, we're grown adults acting ridiculous."

"Have you told this to Gael?"

"Please, he's not speaking to me. I have a very a good talent at irritating people, whether I want to in that moment or not. Maybe that's how I always get myself into problems." Montserrat said with a heavy resignation that Dr. Weslin gave her a strange look.

"We're not talking about your argument with your brother anymore, are we?"

Montserrat shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to be casual. "I guess not."

"Would you care to elaborate, then?"

"There's not much too it, really," Montserrat shrugged yet again.

Weslin had come to notice Montserrat only did this as an overly attempt at being casual when she neared the topic of her rape. It was like Montserrat tried pushing it all behind her to form a past.

"Maybe if I hadn't been so irritating at work, people would have given more of a damn about what happened to me," Montserrat finally spat out. "Maybe they wouldn't have been so quick to brush it away and transfer me."

"Montserrat, you're not blaming yourself for this right?" Dr. Weslin feared Montserrat had somehow regressed in her recovery.

"No," Montserrat said with absolute certainty. "It shouldn't have happened to me, period. I just meant maybe if I had acted better, people at my old job, who knew what happened, would have had more consideration for me." Montserrat didn't like to think a lot about her old job in Queens, but the people there had never been the kindest. She didn't expect - nor want for that matter - a whole sympathy party from them, but she didn't expect to be pushed out of the job either. "That's why I like where I am now. At least if anything happens to me again, I know people might care."

It was a rather cynical way of thinking, but Montserrat felt it to be nothing but the truth.

~0~

By the time Montserrat returned to the precinct, many things had already gone down. For starters, the team had discovered their mayor-to-be was using secret websites to chat with other women, sometimes going truly explicit. Poor Amanda had been the center of his attention the previous night.

"Alex claims wall street is setting him up," Rafael wearily repeated the excuse Alex had given him earlier in the morning after speaking to him about the pictures he sent to Amanda.

The rest of the team exchanged curious glances but no one, except Nick, dared to mention what they were thinking.

"What, you told him we were looking at his account?"

Rafael took the accusation somewhat calmly. He expected some type of accusation along those lines. "I gave him a chance to get out in front of this."

Nick seemed to be angered with the answer, as he firmly believed Rafael was on another plan. "So now not only is he tampering with witnesses, he has you covering it up for him!"

"Nick," Olivia's call made no sense for Nick.

"What!? It's what you're all thinking!"

"Did you find any evidence at all that Lindsay is shaking him down or that he's paying to hush her up?" Rafael's question seemed more like a challenge to defy his words, and it only irritated Nick more.

"There's nothing so far on the public sites, but we'll keep checking," Amanda's fingers hovered over her laptop.

"Do that."

"We will," Montserrat spoke up for the first time since the conversation started. Her curt, brief answer was enough indication she was still very much irritated with him.

He took the jab with a nod of his head. It was well deserved, he knew. "Since we're all clear…" he turned to go, but of course it wouldn't be easy to escape with Nick trailing behind him.

"That's not going to end well," Montserrat got up from her desk and headed for the lounge to get some needed coffee. As she was pouring herself warm coffee, Sonny came into the room. "You want some?" she asked without looking up.

"Sure." Sonny moved over and reached for a couple sugar packs he knew she liked.

"Did Nick come back in one piece?" Montserrat slid her coffee cup to Sonny then grabbed another for herself.

"Not sure. I left before he did," Sonny ripped open a sugar pack and let it all drown into his coffee. "I bet Barba is just trying to keep it together right now." Montserrat briefly paused her coffee pouring, something Sonny noticed but didn't comment on. "I mean, it can't be easy being childhood friends with someone who's, well...turning out not to be the righteous man he once knew."

Montserrat carefully returned the coffee pot to its place. "No, it can't be. But it doesn't give him a right to be so rude when we're just trying to help, and to mention doing our job." There was a particular sourness covering her tone, but Sonny felt like there was an underlying hurt somewhere there.

"Course not, but try being in his shoes for a moment."

Montserrat finally stopped altogether and turned to Sonny. "Is there something you want to say to me?"

"I'm not trying to poke or interfere in whatever you and Barba have going on-"

"-it's nothing," snapped Montserrat, but there was a subtle shift on her feet. "And if you're that interested to know, I'm just a little pissed off that he's being more snarky than usual when all I did was try to be nice and be there for him." As soon as she finished her quick, but feeling-covered, explanation she regretted it. Sonny gave her a look and the fact his lips were twitching to form a smile made her feel no better. "Please don't say anything," she sighed and went back to preparing her coffee. "It's really nothing. I'm just...I tried to be nice and he... practically barked in my face to leave him the hell alone."

"Did he actually say those words?"

"...no. It was more of a…rushed 'I'm good'," Montserrat closed her eyes as another realization hit her. "...which really just means he wasn't. Dammit."

Sonny patted her back and took over the coffee preparation.

Montserrat released a big sigh and brought her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose. "And me being the dumbass that I am, missed that." Sonny laughed beside her. "In my defense, I have my own problems too so my temperament is off!"

Sonny held her coffee cup to her with his usual smile. "No one blames you."

"I think one person does," Montserrat took her coffee cup and headed back for the bullpen.

Nick was returning as well but he seemed to be physically fine. "Guys like Barba, too smart for their own good."

"I'm sure he said the same about you," Olivia gave him a pat on the arm as he passed by.

"What, everyone thinks we should just let this go?" Nick looked around to see who was on that side of the coin.

"It's not that we want to," Montserrat spoke up. "But...we really don't have anything incriminating on Muñoz."

"Muñoz sent out some selfies but that's not a sex crime," Fin said before he chuckled. "All I know is I don't want to see any more of them."

Nick was frustrated that no one was taking him serious. "It's not just selfies, all right? This clown could be mayor. He opened himself up to blackmail, right? Eddie had cash. Where did he get it from, huh? This could just be the tip of the iceberg."

"I think we saw more than just the tip," Finn snickered at his spot.

Olivia motioned him to stop before the comments got worse. "Nick, even if you're right, this is a political corruption case. We'd have to hand it over to the feds anyway. What are we going to hand over? The pics he sent to Rollins?"

The woman in question cleared her throat at her desk. She'd been immersed in her computer ever since Rafael had left. "It looks like I may not be the only one. Enrique Trouble's popping up on other sites. It goes back over a year."

Hearing this made the rest of the team gather behind her chair to see her screen.

"Look, I found ten so far!"

"That makes him a dog, not a criminal," Fin still shrugged.

"That's not the word I'd use to describe him," Montserrat said before sipping her coffee.

"Well, one of these women that he was sexting with just got an executive position at the New York gaming commission," Amanda revealed and brought up the profile of said woman. "I wonder who could have pulled those strings."

"Anna Please," Olivia read off the screen. "She have any governmental background?"

"Doesn't seem like it."

"Hold up. I've seen this girl on a screen before, and it wasn't on c-span," Finn said with a curious smile.

~0~

"I don't understand this. I already have the position," the woman named Anna insisted for the second time, already sounding annoyed to the two detectives tailing her down the hallway.

"We have a few background questions," Finn simply repeated their excuse, which was the honest truth anyways.

"Mhm," agreed Montserrat, not quite in the mood for games. She wanted to be direct. "Your resume says you went to university of Michigan, but they don't have any record of you attending."

There was a brief flash of panicked on Anna's face as she sat at her desk. "They don't? Mm-mm. I should fix that. I was more like auditing."

Lies. Montserrat barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes. "Really? What subjects?"

"Dance and movement."

"No acting?"

Anna laughed casually, at least that was her attempt. "No. I never studied any acting."

Montserrat gave the woman one look before glancing at Finn. The man seemed giddy as he reached inside his jacket's pocket.

"That's funny, Amber, because my partner here says you're a real natural in - what is it, Finn?"

"This is my favorite," Finn turned over a movie box he'd brought with them. "Million Dollar a Night Baby."

With that in the air, Amber didn't see any point in lying anymore. She released a heavy sigh and looked past the two detectives to the open door. "Okay, this is unfair. It was a long time ago. I didn't do any adult films after that. Are you from vice?" she paused to once again look at the open door. She was being extra quiet now. "I didn't do anything illegal."

"Yeah, we're not so interested in your past jobs," Montserrat clarified. She planted her hands on the desk and leaned forwards. "We want to know how you got your job here. Did Enrique Trouble put in a call for you?"

Amber leveled Montserrat's look, not looking so intimidated as they'd hoped. "So what if he did? It's Albany. Believe me, there are people a lot less qualified than I am working here."

Of course, Montserrat wasn't one to lose so easily. "Fine, we'll remember that as we get your ass fired. Think about that then give us a call," she smiled sweetly then turned to leave with Finn.

They didn't make it out the office door when Amber called for them to stop.

~0~

"I'm home," called Montserrat as soon as she walked into her apartment. She could hear clinging and clanging from Kara's room while she set her things down.

A couple minutes later, Kara emerged from the hallway wearing a pretty blue dress that hugged her body. Her hair was curled and pulled back by two clips.

"Stark red lipstick," Montserrat smirked as she headed by for the kitchen. "That can only mean someone's got a hot date tonight."

"Oh, you betcha," Kara hurriedly patted down her dress as if it needed more help. "He finally asked."

"Who?" Montserrat returned holding a bag of trail mix.

As Kara opened her mouth, someone knocked on the door. Kara hushed up and went to answer instead.

"Oh hell no," Montserrat honestly blamed herself for not realizing quicker.

"Good thing is you know him," Kara pulled Sonny right into the apartment, skipping all the hellos and whatnot.

"Unfortunately."

"Montse," went both with the same disapproval.

"No," Montserrat stuffed more trail mix into her mouth. "If I don't see it, it's not real." And with that, she turned away from the two with no intention of looking back.

"You're a child!" Kara shouted.

Sonny was smarter in that aspect and said something that definitely made Montserrat look back. "And I'll make sure to let you know how it went tomorrow."

"You wouldn't…"

Sonny's smile said it all. "See you later, partner."

Montserrat practically shouted for them to get going already. She shivered once she was alone and dreaded what Sonny would tell her tomorrow, and even more so what Kara would say.

~0~

Rafael didn't think he would ever have to make such a grim visit to one of his old friends. One friend was already borderlining the enemy line, in Alex's perspective anyways. Rafael still had hope - albeit a tiny hope - that Alex would come to his senses sooner or later. For now, he had to try to get Eddie to come back.

He found the old friend in a familiar spot, the same park he used to play at when he was a kid.

"Hey, Raffi. What's good, hermano? How you find me here?" Eddie scooted on the park bench to make more room.

"I stopped by your place, saw your mom," Rafael took the seat but purposely kept a distance. It was awful being like that with an old friend.

"My mom looks good," Eddie knew what Rafael had come for, but he didn't want to get to it. He didn't want to argue.

"Bueno, we got to talk-"

"You know, they...they fixed this park since we were kids, right?" Eddie cut in.

"Yeah, they did. I remember how you always used to look out for me here," Rafael leaned back against the bench. Talking about their good days wasn't helping, but he couldn't stop. "When that gang from P.S. 109 would come after me for my lunch money...you'd put your arm around me. You'd walk me to school. You said anybody that hurt me would have to deal with you."

"You're my brother, Raffi. I would never have learned English if it wasn't for you. We're even, right?"

"I know that. You're loyal...To a fault," Rafael paused, taking a breath in in order to deal with what came next.

"We're not talking about p.S. 109 now, are we?" Eddie took the silence as the answer. "How much trouble am I in, Raffi?"

"Witness tampering, bribery…Eddie, those are felonies."

"I can't... I can't roll on Alex-"

Perhaps it was the final straw in the whole case, or maybe his irritation towards Alex and his blatant disregard for their friend finally got to Rafael, but he snapped. "You've got - you have got to think about yourself now! Jail's gonna go hard for an ex C.O!"

"Raffi, Alex has always been good to me, okay? He said when he becomes mayor, he's going to get me a job at one P.P-"

"Listen to me," Rafael once again snapped. He turned his body towards Eddie, hoping he could get through to Eddie once and for all. "Eddie, Alex is looking out for himself now. You've got your son and your mother to think about. You're not gonna be any good to them upstate."

Eddie looked out to the playground where his son was playing. "I can't hurt Alex. You tell me what I should do. You were always the smart one."

Well, at least one was still good.

~0~

While Amanda and Finn interrogated Eddie (with his lawyer present), Montserrat, Olivia, Nick and Sonny watched from behind the one-way glass. Eddie was practically singing like a canary about Alex's dirty work.

"We got him now," Nick said with visible pride. Everyone looked at him but there was a hesitancy to agree. "What? It's only right with everything Muñoz did."

"Don't get so cocky," Montserrat warned. "It's not real until the prosecutor gets the case."

"It's basically a done deal," Nick waved a hand at them and walked off.

"How horrible," Montserrat mumbled and started to leave as well. Olivia would remain to oversee the rest of the interrogation. "I don't want to even imagine how Rafael is feeling."

"He's the one who got Eddie to spill, so...he must be seeing the light," Nick said, stopping under the hallway threshold.

"Say that to his face," Sonny went right to his desk.

"You think I won't?"

"Oh," both Montserrat and Sonny collectively scoffed, making Nick roll his eyes.

"We know you will," Montserrat took a seat at her desk.

Just as the three were about to have a round, Olivia emerged from the hallway.

"We got him?" Nick was the first to ask, missing how Montserrat and Sonny glanced at each other.

"Yes…" but judging by Olivia's face there was more than she was telling. "We're going to have to do some digging."

~0~

After doing some digging, Olivia immediately sent Montserrat and Sonny to a high school in Yonkers that wasn't even that far from them.

"Is he frikin kidding me?" Montserrat continued to repeat even as the principal of the school led her and Sonny down a crowded hallway.

Sonny didn't say much but it was clear he was disgusted as he saw more of the innocent students walking by. They were targets of their next mayor-to-be.

Jodie Lanier was not a school teacher, far from it. She was a fifteen year old student with an addiction to her cellphone. The blonde girl was taken to a secluded classroom in order to be talked to.

"If this is about the mall, I paid for these bracelets," Jodie hugged her wrist full of bracelets.

"It's about Alex Muñoz," Sonny's response made the girl stiffen.

"I-I don't know who that is."

"No?" Montserrat raised an eyebrow. She had no mood to tolerate the girl's lies. "Then why is he giving you money? And I would be careful with how you talk to a detective."

"O-okay. I know who he is, but I've never met him," Jodie said quickly.

"Not in person? How about on social media?" Montserrat glanced at Sonny who was nodding in agreement. "I mean, you've exchanged messages."

"I can't talk to you about this," Jodie's eyes flickered between the detectives, feeling more and more trapped.

"Because that's why he's paying you?" Sonny's question was met with silence. "Look, Jodie, you're not in any trouble here."

"Then can I go?"

"Soon. But we need to take a look at your cell phone."

Jodie quickly shook her head. "No way. I have rights!" But seeing the two serious detectives made her falter. "Don't I?"

"Okay, Jodie, this is how it'll work if you don't cooperate right now," Montserrat stepped forwards, intimidating the girl without effort. "If you don't hand the phone over right now, we can and will get a warrant for it. However, to do that we'll have to talk to your mom."

Bingo, the right words had been said.

"Please don't call my mom."

~0~

"Okay Nick, now we got him," Olivia said after reviewing their evidence against Alex. And boy was it a lot.

"Now what?" Amanda looked at the rest of the group, all solemnly quiet due to the problems they were about to cause for not only their friend, but for the city itself. "The election is happening and like it or not, what Barba said is true. Should we attack before or after?"

"We need to do it now," Finn said before anyone else spoke up. "It'll be a lot harder to make the case when he had even more power."

"It's not quite up to us, though," Olivia reminded them all where the case would be going.

"But it will be handled before anything happens," Nick said the obvious.

"We have to hand this over to Barba," Olivia pulled her glasses off and rubbed her forehead. It was going to be a difficult conversation.

"Let me do it," Montserrat's volunteer came as a surprise to the group, although not so much for Sonny. Whoever volunteered would be volunteering to get yelled at and probably insulted.

The job was hers.

~0~

The last thing Rafael expected was for Montserrat to stop by his office. She came with a mission, however, and it was not a good one.

"Sorry," she felt the need to say as he watched him go through the evidence.

Rafael did a double-take at her, seeming almost incredulous. For a split second, Montserrat thought she did something wrong again.

"Oh God, what I say now?" she sighed.

"Nothing," Rafael said quietly then returned his attention to the report. "Absolutely nothing," he mumbled under his breath.

"When are you handing that over to the special prosecutor?" she then asked, though the fact she was rocking on her feet was signal enough of her nervousness.

"I... I'm not sure. I want Alex - I want him to do it out of his own accord. Be the man he used to be."

Montserrat could say that was a failed plan, but she thought she should be more cautious with her words. "But you just said it. He's someone else now. You can't keep giving him chances you wouldn't offer other perps."

The label hurt more than it should've because it was true.

"I have to try," Rafael insisted, pushing himself up from his seat. He knew what she was thinking - that he was biased, and he probably was - but he needed to do it one more time, at least one more time to say he did everything he could. "Maybe now that he knows what's coming, he'll want to do the right thing."

Montserrat watched him move around the office, trying to convince himself that things could be turned down the right path. She knew what the outcome would be and she was pretty sure that he knew too. He was just trying to convincing himself Alex would take the last chance.

"That's your plan?" she took a seat on his desk, ignoring his brief look for that, and crossed her legs. "Stupidly waste your time? And at night, by the way?"

"It's not a waste of time," he snapped. "I'm giving him the opportunity-"

"-he doesn't want an opportunity!" Montserrat suddenly snapped louder than he had. "C'mon, Rafael, you're too smart for that. How did Nick put it? You're too smart for your own good!"

Rafael stopped his pacing to glare at her, but even then Montserrat didn't back down. She'd grown very used to it by now. Still, she knew this was a different situation, one that had him going crazier than usual. That pushed her guilt.

"You're not desisting, are you?"

"Not at all."

You stubborn man. Montserrat inwardly sighed but still ventured to help him. "Fine. Then I'm coming with."

Rafael paused for another second, thinking it was a joke or another tactic to get him to stop. But when she didn't retract, he became uncomfortable. "Why?"

"Because you're hell-bent on losing your job and because I'm an idiot who loves being yelled at."

That sting was of course meant for him and it was well delivered, but she didn't actually seem to be upset. That just made things odder. He knew he'd been unnecessarily rude to her, in the same situation they were in again, and yet she was stupid enough to come back for more?

"No, absolutely not," he said in the end, but he should've known who he was dealing with.

"You don't have a choice. I'm coming, end of story. Or I go and arrest Alex myself. I'm sure Nick would accompany me if I asked."

Rafael's glare returned, and deeper too, but he knew when he lost...even though it wasn't often. Montserrat got him. In another moment, he would've been impressed. "First, get off my desk."

"Sorry," Montserrat quickly got off and smiled cheerfully.

"Second of all, don't ever threaten me like that again."

"That I cannot promise. You have a tendency to only understand if you're being threatened," Montserrat shrugged and moved to the side. She gestured towards the desk where the evidence rested. "Get what you need."

Rafael looked at her for a full minute before walking up to his desk. Before sifting through the evidence, he glanced at her. "Novak, you're setting yourself up for trouble."

"I know," Montserrat said with all honesty. Her bluntness was even more surprising to him.

She was dead serious.

~0~

The flashing lights in the building would make Montserrat blind if she remained there for too long. Fifteen minutes of standing there were already doing a number on her.

"Now I see why you say 'no' to these events," she told Rafael while she rubbed her eyes.

The ADA was quietly standing beside her, eyes trained on the incoming guests. So many important people had passed by except for the one he needed. Eventually, he began to hear Alex's voice greeting those at the entrance. It was, of course, sucking up.

"Do you want me to come with you, or…?" Montserrat trailed off when Rafael raised a hand indicating her stop.

"Just make sure no one else follows," he curtly warned before taking off.

Montserrat frowned after him. She hated the way he was talking to her, but she tried to remind herself his situation. It was courtesy, leniency, she was trying to offer...but he was pushing her buttons.

"Be the bigger person, be the bigger person," Montserrat mumbled under her breath as she walked past the guests.

"Now? Seriously?" She arrived in time to see Alex's response to Rafael's probable polite asking for a talk.

The local reverend of the place came forwards, almost reeling Alex away from Rafael. "There's a room full of union leaders and CEOs waiting to hear how he's going to save the city."

Montserrat practically pushed her way through the crowd in order to cleverly respond with, "Then unless you want that whole room of Union leaders and CEOs to hear that your friend may be guilty - of several serious charges by the way - you should listen to my friend."

Rafael gave her a side-glance, seemingly thankful for the jab.

"Rafael, todo bien?" Yelina had done the same as Montserrat - moved people out of her way to get there, but the only difference was she did in a lavender cocktail dress.

Rafael kept a straight face when he replied. "Alex and I need to talk."

"Ahora?"

"Well, let's get a nice shot," the priest pulled Yelina towards a photographer and a group of waiting guests. "Mr. Slater, will you join us?"

"I won't be long," Alex promised Yelina, giving her a long kiss afterwards.

Montserrat rolled her eyes in plain sight. She was so done with these people.

"Do you know what they're going to talk about?" Yelina approached Montserrat almost immediately after Rafael left with Alex.

Montserrat cleared her throat and practically looked anywhere but Yelina's face. "I...may have an idea, but I definitely know you're not gonna like it." And even though she kept true to her words, she could tell that Yelina had figured out a good portion of the situation. "I'm so sorry," Montserrat could only say before leaving herself.

As she exited the building, she could see the two shadows of men across the street. She's didn't want to admit that she could hear some pieces of their conversation - turning into an argument real fast, she might add - but it was inevitable. What she was lost on was how someone could deny what was so blatantly true especially when it hit them in the face. Because that's exactly what Alex was doing, even when Rafael kept springing new evidence right to Alex's face.

In fact, Alex was getting offended as if he had a reason to get offended. It was ridiculous.

Rafael was left to walk the street alone since, according to Alex - and a hidden truth - he was no longer friends with the people of his neighborhood. Montserrat felt sympathy for them all, but even more for her friend. And by this point, Rafael was going to go mad. It hurt that he was being accused of purposely drowning his once best friend into an abyss. As if he was the wrong one.

One thing Montserrat was sure of was that friendship was over. The bad blood was too much.

"Rafael! Hey! Stop walking!" Montserrat sprinted after him down the street. "Would you - I know you can hear me!"

Finally, the ADA stopped and turned sideways, his expression warning her to stay away. Of course, Montserrat wasn't one to always listen. "Novak, you're free to go."

Montserrat snorted, her offence etching across her face. "No one was threatening with me with a gun, Rafael. I came for you. As backup. As...support because I can't imagine what you're feeling. I wouldn't be able to take it."

"I can. You can go-"

"-I'm not leaving you alone like this! What the hell did Alex tell you?"

"That he doesn't care, basically. He has…" Rafael stopped for a second, still unable to believe where they were now. "He has no morals left. So now I have to do what my job tells me to."

"You're going to turn him in," Montserrat quietly said. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Rafael said then turned to leave.

"Well…" Montserrat hesitated to follow, knowing she was just pushing his anger to double, but it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone either. "Do you want to go get some drinks? Coffee maybe…?" She'd only taken a couple steps in his direction when he whirled around with newfound anger.

"Novak, leave me the hell alone! I don't want your company, I don't need anyone else! So leave me alone already!"

Montserrat blinked in shock at his outburst. Of course she figured she'd finally pushed the right button of his to make him snap like that. She couldn't say she was surprised. "Sorry…" she cleared her throat and brought her coat closer to her chest. "I'll...see you tomorrow, then." She started turning in the opposite direction and only paused for a second to apologize again.

Rafael shook his head and started on his own way home, but as he walked he remembered this wasn't the first time he snapped at Montserrat while she was trying to help him...the guilt started settling in. He didn't feel guilt very often, which was what made it hard to ignore this one. "Dammit," he muttered to himself before turning back. He didn't exactly know what he was doing but his feet were moving in Montserrat's direction, and fast too.

He spotted the familiar red hair nearly at the end of the block. She was on the phone...and he started to overhear.

"No, I'm coming home right now. Jesus, who are you? My father?" Montserrat snorted at whoever was on the other line. "Oh no, if you're at my place then I'm not coming home for a long time."

Montserrat pushed the pedestrian button to cross the street and waited her turn. "I did go with Rafael to that stupid event but in the end I got the worst of it." There was a brief pause before Montserrat snorted again. "Nah, he's being an ass. I'll go check up on him tomorrow morning." Another pause passed then Montserrat started bidding goodbye. "Yeah, whatever. See you tomorrow, Carisi." She stuffed her phone into her coat's pocket and continued to wait for the light to switch.

Montserrat heard someone clear their throat followed by a, "So you talk to Carisi at this hour?"

Montserrat playfully rolled her eyes. The pedestrian light switched to go so she stepped onto the road to cross the street. "What do you care if I talk to Sonny?"

"I'm just curious," Rafael walked alongside her.

"Why are you back?" Montserrat's question was asked in the a tiring manner, as if she'd done this over and over. (And she had). Two times was enough to get a hint, though.

"I realized I acted like…"

Montserrat stopped once they'd crossed the street and turned to face him. "...an ass? Yeah. You are. It's why I was giving you the night to cool off."

Rafael's smile was wide and amused. "Really? And you were still going to come back?"

Montserrat wanted to ignore his amusement but she somehow ended up smiling as well. "Yeah. You're an extra rude prick but I'm letting it go on, on account of the situation."

Despite the light atmosphere between them, Rafael had to get serious. And when he did, the guilt returned. "Montserrat, I'm...you came with me - you offered to come with me and I...I yelled...I was…"

Montserrat smiled even wider when she realized what he was attempting to do. She would've let it go on for pure amusement but she figured he was already having enough troubles, so she gave him a break and surprised him with a hug.

"What are you doing…?" Rafael went stiff, to the point where Montserrat nearly laughed.

"Hugging you because you need it," she mumbled. "I'm sorry about Alex."

"So am I," Rafael admitted. "But don't count him out. He's a winner." Montserrat scoffed, but he was quite serious. "When I was seven, my mom said, 'stick with Alex. He'll be mayor of New York someday.' She never said that about me."

"But you turned out even better," Montserrat said automatically and missed his brief smile. 

"It's politics. No danger of a traffic jam on the high road."

"He was a friend-"

"-so was Yelina. She thinks this was personal, not professional."

"Stop," Montserrat drew away from him to look him in the eyes. "If they'd been your friends, they wouldn't have put you through all of that. It's on them, not on you."

"Thank you," Rafael said after a minute. He looked at her for a minute while it donned on him she'd been the only one to be with him throughout the entire case, even when he probably didn't deserve it. He pulled her back for another hug, startling her, but it was ironic since he wasn't able to hug back the way Montserrat would expect. It showed he didn't do a lot of hugging in his life...which was a shame because he had the arms for it...and a good scent.

Get ahold of yourself, Montse, she silently berated herself.

"Is your brother still not talking to you?"

Montserrat was startled by the question. "No. In his perspective, I'm still the ungrateful daughter who insulted our father." Her sarcastic remark wasn't enough to make it seem like it hurt less. But just like Rafael, a grimness settled across her face. "He's not letting me talk to my nieces, nor see them. I don't have a lot of family in New York, so...it's a little hard dealing with it…"

"I know," Rafael agreed. "You'll get through this."

"...so will you," Montserrat whispered.

She sincerely hoped they could.