#thats why i didnt write or post this on saturday

[spitegeous-azzburn]

15.07.2023 🍕

worked in the morning (nothing happened) then i went to my dad's. we had lunch and got dressed to OAB's São João party (bit late but still)

also my dad's our city's OAB's president. had been for some couple years now. so when the other lawyers saw me and my sister they were all like "omg they're so big" (old aunt vibes)

then i went to a friend's birthday party at her house. none of my inner circle friends were there, so i was a bit nervous i'd be left out, but everything went fine.

me and a guy who was there are always competing to see who gets the highest grades, so we talked about our grades (he made fun of my 15/20 in biology and i asked what was the last exam he boasted) and then when he was making fun of a guy who wants to enter ITA he looked at me and went "you look like you wanna enter ITA too" and of course i do so he made fun of me too (because its nearly impossible. way too hard) and i said i want to enter because im capable of, unlike some people (sideying him)

anyways, it was a lot of fun. we ordered pizza and did some arm wrestling. i lost all of my matches, obviously, but i'll try and get stronger just so i can defeat them.

i texted my mom to see if i could sleep at her house because it was closer, but she didnt reply, so my dad went to pick me up.

went home at 1am and my dad asked me to tell my stepmom my mom wasnt home so he had to pick me up, if she asked anything. thats not the first time he tells me and my sister not to say something to our stepmom or to half lie about something. which i do think its a bit suspicious, but anyways.

giving that i woke up at 7am and got home past 1am, i can say i was really fucking wasted

[hockeyandhrsepwr]

Abu Dhabi moments

Jack Hughes x Ferrari driver reader

Je T’aime Masterlist

** Vegas is the last race before Abu Dhabi & series takes place in 2024 with Danny, Seb & Mick still on the grid **

A handful of moments as the season come to an end because I didn’t want to write a full fic. Also how are y’all? I’ve haven’t been on here in a while because ya girl had finals and grad 🫶

Post Practice, Friday

Welcome back to sunny Abu Dhabi, as we prepare for the final race of the season!! This weekend brings us the most heated battle for the Drivers Championship we’ve ever seen!! Yes that includes Lewis versus Max 2021, the Mercedes battle of 2016 & Sebastian Vettels maiden win in 2010. Ferrari have the Consrtuctors trophy, will they clinch the Drivers too? Lets have a look at the possibilities

Y/n L/n currently sits first in the points, with Max trailing by only one. Charles Leclerc only sits only 5 points behind him. It will come down to whoever takes the win for this race. Three potential champions, one race. Will it be a third championship for Verstappen, a second for Leclerc or a first for L/n?

Are you excited? Because we sure are. They all had great practices today. Who will come out on top? Tune in all weekend to see what happens!

Lets send it over to Naomi, who’s with y/n now

Media Pen

Hi y/n, how are we feeling today?

I’m doing great, how about you?

You know, I’m pretty good but were not here to talk about me. What’re you feeling coming into this weekend, knowing that the championship could be yours?

Honestly, I’m trying not to think about that. It’s just a normal race. I dont want to psych myself out since anything can happen once we get on that track. Of course I’d love to win, but who knows. Charles & I have been able to bring that constrictors back to Ferrari which was incredible, and whoever wins will have absolutely deserved it.

Thats a great way to look at it! I’m rooting for you but we’ll see what happens. Now, onto something more important. You had an interesting weekend in Las Vegas, didn’t you?

Yeah, you know the race was a lot of fun and it was great to win, especially given the issues we had the week before

Girl you know thats not what I’m talking about!!! I mean your after race shenanigans
Haha, yeah, so I got married which was a special experience.

Can I ask if you’d planned that going into the weekend?

Oh not at all! It was more a timing thing. So Saturday night Jack, my husband which is still weird to say, asked if I’d want to get married while we were there. He played a game in Vegas which is why he was there at all. Of course I wanted to marry him, but I didnt want to do it without some of our closest friends there. Luckily, most of them who play hockey were either in Vegas because they’re on his team or they were within a 2 hour flight range so we could get them there for Sunday night. And of course I was able to get the guys from the grid there no problem. So we just decided to go for it!

So no parents?

No, unfortunately not. Both of our parents live on the east coast and it was too quick to get them there, but we’re going to do a big party over the summer so they can celebrate with us.

At least they’ll have that!! Can I ask what the planning was like?

Jack took on all of the decisions which was really great of him since I had the race that evening, but Sunday morning we texted everyone with flight info & told them to get there asap. Then my best friend Thomas went & picked a dress for me, since Jack wasn’t allowed. I sent a message to our groupchat after the race with the chapel address once jack found somewhere & told the drivers to be there and look decent. It was a really great night though & I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Well congratulations!! Is he here this weekend?

Unfortunately not, hockey season is well underway, but I’m on the first flight to New York that I can get & we’ll have the winter break together.

Well, all the best to you and your new husband, and we’ll talk to you later this weekend I’m sure. Good Luck tomorrow!!

Thanks Naomi!

RACE DAY

Commentators

Oh my god, we’ve come down to the final lap to decide the championship. Who’s going to cross the line first?? Right now L/n is leading, but Verstappen is right behind her. Will he be able to get past?? The other Ferrari of Leclerc is a fraction of a second behind Verstappen.

There goes Leclerc!!! He’s trying to pass Verstappen, my word! OHHH he does it!! Charles Leclerc puts his Ferrari between the Ferrari of L/n and the red bull of Verstappen

Radio: “Tell y/n I’ve got verstappen, go & win it!!”

That was Leclerc, it looks like he’s going to defend against Verstappen so L/n can win. We have half a lap, can he hold off the Red Bull? Fantastic driving by Leclerc, and what a teammate!!

Here it it!!! Rounding the final corner in that iconic red car, its L/n!! The chequered flag is waving, SHES DONE IT!!!!

Radio: C’est toi y/n!!! Tu es la championne du monde!!!!!

In her 4th season in Formula one, your 2023 World Champion Y/n L/n everyone!! What a finish from the young driver. History is made here tonight as she becomes the first female driver ever to win the championship!! She’s also the second youngest driver to take it after former ferrari teammate Sebastian Vettel.

What a race, what a finish as Leclerc crosses in second, less than half a second behind.

You

Over the radio you hear the team celebrating but you have no words. It doesn’t feel real. There’s tears streaming down your face. All the shit you put up with, all the years of hard work, missing your friends and family, it’s all lead up to this.

“Y/n?” You can hear your engineer ask since you haven’t responded, but nothing comes out. Driving towards the end, you do your donuts and pull in to your designated spot. You just sit there for a second before “HOLY FUCK” and someone on the other end laughs.

You’re still crying but its all happy tears as you pull yourself up & step onto the front of the car. You sit down on the Halo & put your head in your hands, trying to collect yourself as the crowd goes mad around you. Pulling off your helmet you look over to your team at the barriers & smile. You want to run over & celebrate with them, but you can’t bring yourself to move, afraid its all a dream. Then you get tackled. You’ve completely missed the other guys pulling up, too in your own head and you jump when Charles grabs you and pulls you off your car. He pulls you into a hug & whispers congratulations in your ear before someone else grabs you & you see Mick.

“You fucking did it!” He yells and you laugh. It was the kick in the ass you needed and you release Mick to go over to your team, hugging your engineer first. After that it’s a blur, until someone passes you a phone.

“McQueen!!!” Thomas is on the one end of the FaceTime, jack also popping up on the screen. You laugh at the nickname, glad to see their faces.

“I’m so proud of you!” Jack says “Me too!!” Thomas yells, wanting to be part of the conversation. “Thanks Thom!” “I love you so much babe! I can’t really hear you so I’ll call you later?” “Go celebrate, I’ll see you soon. Je t’aime mon amour” You blow a kiss before handing back the phone. There’s one more person you need to see. You spot Susie and you rush over to her. She’s been a mentor and inspiration to you since you were a kid and without her who knows where you’d be right now.

The rest of the day passes in a blur. You’re pulled into interview after interview, congratulations coming from all around and your phone buzzing like its possessed. You call your parents & Jack but thats it, grateful for all the love but too overwhelmed to deal with responding to all your messages. That night you and the boys go full send. You know its a good night since you can’t remember anything. Monday is filled with media, and then you hop on a flight straight to Newark.

Fourteen hours later, Jack & Luke are waiting from you when you finally make it through customs.

You’d think you’re racing or an Olympic gold to win the 100m with how fast you fly over to Jack & jump into his arms, tears streaming down your face as you hug him like a koala.

“Tu l’as fait” he whispers in your ear as you squeeze each other, your face buried in his neck. You can hear the emotion in his voice

“Je l’ai fais”

“Ma championne”

“Je t’aime tellment”

“Mon champion” you say back, smiling at the fact that both of you won this year

“Cough cough, Hi, hello, where’s my hug?” Luke says from somewhere behind you, causing you to giggle and pull your head up to look at him

“I’ll get to you in a sec”

Jack puts you down & you give Luke his hug. “Congrats y/n/n. You deserved it”

“ Thanks Moose. Now we match with our trophies.”

“We do!!” He passes you the big bouquet of flowers he’s holding, “from mom & dad”

“I love them. Let’s go home boys”

[let-gavin-free]

Shameless Selfpromotion Saturday-SSS (its totally saturday not sunday shh)

The rules: We make a post and show off, what cool stuff we created over the past week. Art, Screenshots, writing (anything from a questionnaire about your OC to the 100K epos...) anything we do is worth to be seen and to be promoted. And by tagging people, commenting, and reblogging, we share the love and boost ourselve's and other's confidence. No matter what form you choose, whether you reblog your initial post, or create a new one with teasers, you decide!

Thank you to @jukkaricity for the tag!!!

Imma tag these lovelys up here: @im-on-fire-today @sofiemystique and if you havent been tagged and want to do it, use me as your tagger :3

Heres what ive written or drew in the last month instead of week just bc i crank things out slow and either never post or never finish lmao.

Writing Pieces (posted):

Twisted Hope for Day 3 of Veilguard Appreciation week: It follows Evunial de Riva if he was the one trapped in the Ossuary and the spirit he was sadled with

My WIP back from Dec got some things added it it (its yet to be finished but sOON): It follows Lorant Mercar and Lucanis’ first time together in very heavily detailed smut. Its currently going over 4000 words in only first chapter so yeah thats why its taking so long lmao.

A Flirty Drabble Ask i got: this one follows Lucanis and Lorant

A Reflection TRuesdsy Tag brought to light a Dragon Age Inquisition wip fic that i apparently finished??? Ita called “Studies - Dorian x Mahanon Lavellan” - it follows a moment of quiet between Mahanon and Dorian, Dorian learning just a little bit more of Mahanon.

Writings (Non Posted)

My fav lines from a Evunial x Emmrich wip

“There you go…thats it…" Emmrichs voice was dripping in sin as it breathed its words against Evunials sensitive ears. The older man had him laid out and pinned against the stone examining table, fingers interlocked.

This absolutely filthy story idea for a Evunial x Emmrich, Emmrich talking Evunial through it 🥵 Heres a snippet i wrote to get the idea out of my head before i went ferral. Warning: Lemons ahead

His breath shuddered as he felt Emmrich slip inside him slowly, opening him up easily. He felt himself stretch, the burn of it easing away to pleasure as he relaxed. It had been awhile since he last had someone enter him, the latest events and the contract with Varric didnt leave much time to be alone or have a one nighter.

Oh but this, this was so much more than a one nighter.

The way the necromancer had worshipped his body, pulling whatever ache or pain he had in his limbs from them, felt like heaven. The gentle guidance of a skilled hand as he was brought to completion time and time again before their current position.

His legs were hiked up on Emmrichs hips, strong muscles latching himself firmly around the older. His wrists were pinned above his head by a single hand as kisses were pressed to his neck and the other hand gently played with a pert pink nipple.

Emmrichs dick filled him perfectly, almost feeling completely full.

Art pieces (Posted):

A Taash piece for Taash Week

Art pieces (Non Posted)

A new icon for me, a small piece for BBno$ recent art contest (i didnt submit it but i like it), an eye study on all my current Rooks + my Inquisitor, a practice doodle, and two pieces of my mourn watch Rook - Hallen (they them)

[ihaveneverbeentothemoon]

GENE!! HEEL!!

i love THE SHINING!!!!!!!!!! literally all week since saturday all ive been thinking abt is watching it again but since school started i made this little tradition that every saturday night id watch the shining on the tv while everyones asleep (im so cool) bc i love watching the shining on the tv (i only watch stuff on my laptop so getting to watch smth i love on the tv is rlly cool to me 😼)

ive come to a point where i dont mind watching the shining every day. like in the beginning it was all just 'oh, i havent watched the shining in a while, i feel like watching it now so im going to' that was like a month and a half ago or smth...ive never rlly had the shining as an actual interest before, but this one by far has lasted the longest, and its kind of different to any other interest i have in a way i cant explain!!!!

anyway, that little 'i wanna watch the shining tonight!" like 2 months ago sent me down a rabbit hole of youtube videos talking abt the making of the shining, theories abt the shining, and a bunch of other stuff, plus reading the actual book (which i love as much as the movie) and now here i am! when this silly little interest first started i was like 'oh i wanna pace myself, i dont want to watch the shining every night' bc i jsut didnt feel like it, but now i dont mind watching it every night or so, but i gotta wait until saturday now. at least it keeps me looking forward to smth!

dude i dont wanna sound crazy or anything, and i dont mean it in a crazy way, like i think im pretty normal abt my interest in the shining, but most of the time in my mind im just thinking abt the shining and waiting for someone to ask me if i know the shining or for someone to merely mention it bc the second they do i can just explode and finally tell SOMEONE how much i love the shining. like i kid u not i was having dinner today and while i was eating i was begging for my family to just ask me 'so are u watching any movies rn?' bc YES. YES I AM!!! and i have a lot to say abt it.... also at dinner i was thinking of all the lines from the shining i knew off by heart, reciting them to myself, i wanna quote them to someone so bad </3 so idk who to talk to abt the shining. thats why im on here writing abt it!

anyway thats all! im gonna post this publicly, just to try it out--i never post anything publicly but i wanna see what its like, ive been on tumblr for like a year or smth but i still dont rlly know it too well lol, so im still learning. if i like posting publicly i might post more, or ill just take this down. anyway sorry if theres any spelling mistakes or anything, this isnt proofread! :3

(also the title is a quote from the movie evan almighty in case u dont get it 😻)

[cartoonemotion]

sofa. I'm trying to think of another question but im not sure. would you list some of your top 10 favorite cartoons of all time

DAMN ANOTHER TOUGHIE.. ive watched a lot of cartoons... i feel like its easy just to list more current ones/cartoons ive very recently watched but im gonna try real hard not to do that. so in no particular order:

adventure time: probably an obvious choice to ppl who know me personally. im pretty sure ive said this before but i quite literally grew up with this show, like i watched the pilot on nicktoons when i was like 9 and freaked out when the first episode of the actual show aired, and ive still regularly and enthusiastically kept up with it ever since, even to this day. i have to be honest and say the inclusions of distant lands and fionna and cake had me worried in a very cynical way about wringing the franchise dry or it succumbing to nostalgia bait but ive been happy to have had those fears handily dispelled every time. it makes me really happy to see that the cast and crew that have stuck with it just seem so genuinely excited to continue to tell new stories in the expanded universe and explore the land of ooo and new characters who live there, i think thats a good way to keep an ongoing series with spinoffs or limited series or what have you to keep from getting stale

ducktales 2017: once again anybody who knows me personally or follows this blog knows why this is on the list. i. fucking. love. ducktales 2017. ive said a million times before that i think its like a perfect encapsulation of what a reboot should be, something that obviously has a lot of love and respect for the original that its rebooting, but isn't afraid to incorporate entirely new ideas or deviate from pre-established "rules" or roles of the previous installments/versions of the characters and story, so on and so forth. i think it blends the family sitcom and action adventure elements really well together, its got a great ensemble of charming characters, i think most of the over-arching storylines it sets up are executed really well and it has a lot of fun one-off stories. its not perfect but its damn near close, in my opinion. also as much as i hate disney the corporate i do still love donald duck hes the best legacy disney character ok american moment over

the secret saturdays: i was a HUGE fan of the show as it was coming out but didnt remember much of it as i got older until i rewatched it, whereupon i found out just how much it fucking holds up, oh my g0d. i genuinely cannot believe its not more popular considering its premise, and again i think the story and character writing really hold up !!!!!! it has fantastic twists, you are immediately endeared not just to the saturday family but a lot of the other supporting characters, its overreaching storyline is executed so so well especially when you consider it was unfortunately gutted and prematurely cancelled by CN. some parts of it may be a little dated but again i think for the years it was developed and coming out there are some elements that were kind of ahead of the curve. if you havent watched the secret saturdays PLEEEASE please do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im fucking begging you. its good

ben 10: i think ben 10 might be my white whale. for important context i was scared to death of the original series as it was actively coming out when i was like, 6 years old, only to get extremely invested in it and the "original universe" franchise in like late middle school/early high school, and then they fucking got my ass AGAIN as a current twenty-something. every time i think im out they fucking pull me right back in. i know its a dumb meat headed action cartoon for little children but the wasted potential in this franchise is nothing short of insane, i wouldnt be saying this if they didnt literally bring up certain threads and ideas in the show only to be like, actually who gives a fuck ! that being said its a premise that sticks with you forever. to quote that one post

justice league unlimited: i dont post much about superhero cartoons on here but make no mistake they were hugely influential to me when i was a kid, my dad was and still is a huge marvel nerd but unfortunately for marvel (and my dad) their cartoon game was (and honestly, still kind of is) just aaaaabsolute trash, except for the ones about the x-men, but thats a ramble for another day. it wont surprise you to know a lot of the writing staff for the justice league and justice league unlimited cartoons would go on to work on the original ben 10 continuity so they have a lot of the same issues, but i would be lying if i didnt say jlu had a huge effect on my little baby brain, arguably maybe more than ben 10. why unlimited and not the original justice league cartoon of the aughts you ask ? well because jlu is hornier, and also booster gold is there

discovery kids favorites: this is technically cheating cuz its 3 cartoons, BUT ! i dont remember them enough on their own to put any one above the other. as a kid my mom hated cartoons (and honestly most tv programming aimed at children) and hated me and my sisters watching them in the room with her, or in general, for more than like 15 minutes a day, unless they were educational, and so i felt extremely clever for exploiting the discovery kids loophole bc they were cartoons made to teach you stuff. the ones i remember the most vividly and fondly were tutenstein, grossology, and growing up creepie, which i feel like honestly. says a lot about me. i should rewatch those sometime.

samurai jack: i will not argue against the fact that genndy tartakovsky is a tremendously talented individual, and a lot of his work has been extremely inspirational to me, that being said, if given the chance, i would drop an anvil on his head. i probably shouldnt say that but i cant express to you how much a lot of his work frustrates me and samurai jack really takes the cake. i cant even talk about season 5 but a lot of stuff in seasons 1-4 has problems that i feel like should be addressed, THAT BEING SAID, in spite of it all, i still fucking love samurai jack. i have fond memories of it from when i was a kid and during the collective resurgence it had as the 5th season was coming out, i cant argue that it doesnt have a lot going for it or pretend that again it isnt responsible for a lot of my own personal artistic inspirations.

class of 3000: I KNOW IVE BEEN POSTING ABOUT THIS A LOT LATELY BUT ITS NOT JUST CUZ OF THAT ! this last rewatch hasnt been my first, ive genuinely brought up this show to a lot of people both online and irl in the desperate hope other people remembered it because it was one of my absolute favorites as a kid and i remember the visceral feeling of how unfair it felt when i found out at like age 9 that it had been cancelled and there would never be another episode of it again. i think it just came into my life at the right place at the same time, i was both getting really into drawing and coming up with little stories myself and so the art and the cast really drew me in, and i had a music teacher at the time who was really into jazz and blues music and seeing that reflected in a cartoon i was watching was so cool :v] and again i just think so much of it holds up. its a gem i dont think should be hidden

spongebob (but only the first four seasons and the movie): im almost 25 so this is supremely unoriginal. its not that i think the newer/newest stuff is all bad its just that everybody gets one thing to be unreasonably blinded by nostalgia about and for me its early spongebob. the userbase on here is aging you all know what im talking about i dont need to explain this pick

the owl house: i really like the owl house for what it is ! its not for everybody, i know people tend to think it kind of skews towards "children's cartoon that is targeted for adults who still watch that stuff" but i think thats kind of cynical and not very generous to the cast and crew, i know the show got pitched around a bit before disney picked up on it but i dont think its fair to exclude the care and thought that went into re-adapting it for a broader and therefore younger audience, and the care that went into it in general ! i like its take on the fantasy setting, both the main and minor cast clearly have a lot of love and thought put into them, genuinely i think luz is maybe one of my favorite cartoon protagonists ever, the messaging it tries to get across i think comes from a personal place and is thus very earnest and sweet, and much like the secret saturdays i think its able to accomplish a lot in the limited time it was given. the whole show just feels like a labor of love to me and i just like the way that comes through !

since this was hard here are some honorable mentions:

batman the brave and the bold: wouldnt be fair to bring up a superhero cartoon and not mention this. i was pretty obsessed with this rendition of batman as a kid, unsurprising since i unironically loved the joel schumacher batman & robin movie and liked to catch the adam west batman re-runs they would play at the wee hours of the morning when i couldnt sleep, i think brave and the bold channels both of those a lot, its deeply stupid and kind of sucks in a lot of areas but thats also kind of part of the charm

3below: so i watched the first season of this before ever watching trollhunters, and while i recognize trollhunters is on a lot of levels the superior tales of arcadia cartoon i just like 3below the best. the stakes of trollhunters can get a little exhausting and i think 3below lets itself get a bit more goofy, plus its about a little group of "fish out of water" aliens !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love fish out of water stories AND aliens, what do you want me to do

fangbone!: real sofa fans remember my fangbone phase. ongoing actually cuz hes still my icon. its one of those cheaply produced flash canadian cartoons but from my perspective i think it was made by people who actually put more effort than was expected of them, which i like, and again its another fish out of water story, and the graphic novel its based on is also very cute

dwampyverse cartoons: phineas and ferb and milo murphy's law mostly ! pnf was very impactful on me as a kid and i loved the first season of mml. i think theyve reached a kind of oversaturation maybe ? that has made me juuust a little bit jaded about them, but i cant pretend like i still dont hold plenty of fondness for em in my heart

unicorn warriors eternal: see the above points about genndy tartakovsky in the samurai jack bulletpoint. the premise is a really cool one and the first season managed to be really good in ways i didnt think it would be but theres still the second season, so im scared. i hope its good. ive got the clown make up ready to go just in case though.

lastman: don't watch lastman. we all have our own cross to bear, alright, and this one's mine. i watched lastman, so you don't even have to worry about it, i mean i haven't finished the second season yet so i will, so don't watch lastman, please. im telling you as your friend, don't watch lastman. we all make mistakes sometimes, like for example, i watched lastman, both in french and english. if you watch lastman than my sacrifices will have been for nothing. don't watch it, and don't look up the comic either. im completely serious.

big city greens: im very picky about sitcoms and sitcom-type faire, but big city greens takes i think a very flat and tbh cynical gimmick and explores it with a lot of heartfelt earnestness, its hard not to be charmed by it. just pure comfort food tv to me.

danger & eggs: fun fact !!!!!! the cartoon that made me decide to make this sideblog !!! i keep meaning to revisit it, i would recommend checking it out if you havent before, both its premise and humor is very idiosyncratic and sweet to me, again its just another show that feels like it came very a place very near and dear to the creator's heart and i just always love to see that. if i had kids of my own which i never will i would definitely show it to them

[chososcamgirl]

HIHIHIHI IYAAA SOOOO I JUST CAME BACK FROM HANGING OUT W MY FRIENDSSS AND I DIDNT BUY ANYTHINGG (was gonna spend @ Sephora but ended up reasoning with myself and put everything away YAY ME) BUTTTTTT WE DID END UP WATCHING JOKER 2 SOO IM GONNA RANT ABT IT (to make up for the lost check ins) 😈

HOW WAS WORKK??? HOPE IT WAS VERY SKIBIDIIII!!! TELL ME ABTT IT SIGMA ALPHA IYA🐺💪‼️

I FORGOT IF I SENT MY ACTUALLY DAILY CHECK IN TODAY (I write them in my notes) SO TELL ME IF U DONT SEE IT AND ILL PASTE IT OVER TO TUMBLR (im pretty sure I did but I THINK I FORGOT TO TURN ON ANON SO IF I ACCIDENTALLY DID A BLOG REVEAL KEEP MY IDENTITY A MYSTERY 🤫 BUT TELL ME SO I CAN RESEND MY DAILY ASK) 

OMG I RENTED A POWERBANK AND ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT IT BACK WITH ME… ITS NEARLY 12AM HERE SO I NEED TO GO BACK TMRW (im gonna get charged about like $40 SOMEONE SHOOT ME OMFG) AT LEAST I GET AN EXCUSE TO GO TO THE MALL TMRW THO?? 

ALSOOO I FOUND A STORE HIRING NEAR MY SCHOOLLLL I RLLY WANT TO GET A PART TIME SO I MIGHTTT CONSIDER IT BUT THEN I WOULD NEED TO FIND THE TIME TO ACTUALLY COMMIT IF I DO WANT TO PURSUE ITTTT

OMGROIGOJIOJIR REMEMBER HOW I MENTIONED I WRITE IN MY SLEEP?? TURNS OUT THAT LIKE A WEEK AGO.. I FELL ASLEEP WHILE DOING HOMEWORK AND STARTED WRITING ABOUT MY RACE IN MY SLEEP.. AND I DIDNT BOTHER TO CHECK IT WHEN I WOKE UP ON MY DESK IN THE MORNING SO I TURNED THAT SHIT IN WITHOUT NOTICING I RANTED ABOUT MY FUCKING RACE ON MY ASSIGNMENT…. MY TEACHER WAS SO FUCKING CONFUSED ON WHY I STATED I WASN’T WHITE ON MY PAPER AND TOLD ME THAT THEY THOUGHT I MIGHT OF BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS MENTALLY… THE FACT I HAD TO ADMIT IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS SLEEP WRITING??? IM GONNA END IT PLEASEEE THATS SO EMBARRASSINMGGGG IT WAS HELLA FUNNY THO.. I WOULD POST THE PICTUJRE BUT I CANT </3 CUS OF ANON *sighs* 

ITSSS SJAPP WEEKENDDDDDD IM SO EXCITED ITLL BE 5AM WHERE I LIVE SO THAT MEANS I GET TO WAKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTERRRR

SPOILER WARNING FOR JOKER 2 ‼️‼️

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Okay I was a HUGE fan of the first movie which was why I was excited to see the second one with my friends but honestly… IT WAS SO ASSSSS

First, I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE A MUSICAL like I don’t mind musicals, they can be BANGERS and the first few songs were good BUT as the film progressed the songs just felt so unnecessary and awkward👿😭

UGHHHH OMFGGGG IM SOOOOO PISSED ABGT HOW DIRTY THEY DID MISS QUINN IN THE SEQUEL!!!! I LOVE HARLEY QUINN AND GAGA BUT LIKE HER BACKSTORY IN THIS MOVIE AND HER WHOLE PERSONALITY IS NOT ITTTTTT PLUSSS GAGA I LOVE UR VOICE BUT OMFGG I SWEAR THE SINGING WAS TOOOOO EXCESSIVE ARNTRJNSR THEY DID HER SOO DIRTYY.. GAGA WAS ROBBED.. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SOOOO MUCH MORE BUT HER CHARACTER WAS JUST.. BLEH..

HONESTLY IF YOU TOOK OUT ALL THE MUSICAL FACTORS THEN THE MOVIE WOULD FEEL LIKE A 2HR LECTURE… AND THE RUN TIME??? TWO HRS IS INSANE FOR SUCH A PLOT 

THERE WERE NO PLANS OF A SEQUEL AND THEY SHOULD OF KEPTTT IT THAT WAYYY OMGGG THIS WAS SUCH AN OBVIOUS CASHGRAB.. THE FIRST ONE CLEARLY HAD PASSION, THIS ONE WAS JUST FOR MONEY THERES A REASON WHY THE RATING IS SO LOWWWWWW

STILL THO, THE MOVIE HAD GOOD SCENES AND ALL THE ACTORS HAD THEIR MOMENTS  .

.

. OKKKK HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA NIGHT!!! SWEET DREAMS I LOVE YOU DAWG 💪🔥

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!🐺

responding to ur most recent ask sent on saturday night hello‼️‼️‼️

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD FUN WITH UR FRIENDS!!! im glad🙂‍↕️ hanging out with ur friends always makes life better even if its for that moment it’s still very much worth it <33 HOORAY FOR REASONABLE SPENDING🎉🎉 u are stronger than me alpha.. sephora and i are in a current battle and i fear she’s winning😰

WORK THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO GOOD!! i worked 4 days in a row all either opening or closing (or both) but they were all good shifts! i’m just very exhausted from this week though like mentally and physically😭 i slept most of the day away yesterday and im just trying to rest up again today because my throat is actually getting worse which KMS.

NO LMFAO UR FINE!! if u do happen to reveal urself don’t worry i’ll keep it a secret 🤫🤫🤐 WHAT? $40 OH MU GOD what the fuck that is SO EXPENSIVE TO RETURN IT i would just keep it at that point.. but atleast it’s another excuse to go to da mall🤗🙂‍↕️ YIPEE! oooo job searching! that’s exciting. though part time is a big commitment just bc you can’t change ur hours once it’s set in place but if you want to apply for it then i say go for it!! as long as u have the time for it 100%!!

OH MY GOD😭😭 NOT ON THE HOMEWORK TOO PLS that actually made me giggle please. don’t worry abt it though i’ve seen worse!! sleep writing is a talent that u should not be embarrassed abt, you’re good‼️🙂‍↕️

IVE HEARD SO MANY BAD REVIEWS ABOUT THE MOVIE LIKE the fact that they break out into song randomly etc😭 i wanted to watch it but the reviews are making me rethink spending $15 on a movie ticket… ill probably not watch it and watch the substance instead (apparently that’s fucked) BUT ILL LYK!!!

THANK YOU ALPHA!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA DAY‼️ ILY🫵🫂

[post-office-by-the-bay]

hi covey!!!!

i havent been able to respond and interact with all ur posts since im not home atm but im sitting in hotel room bed writing this rn so! i have found my way to your other account tho😈 so im gonna write a little rant i hope you dont mind (even tho thats kinda what the account is made for, i still feel weird doing it!!) so feel free to ignore i just reallt want rant!

also wanna start it off by saying i hope youve been doing well and the college stress isnt affecting you too much!!

okiiii so anyway its my birthday tofay 😜😜 and for my bday weekend we went to chicago since its pretty close to where i live and i thiight it would be fun but sometjkng about me is just that i hate being away from home like idk i just love my room so idk why i wanted to do thid for my bday but ANYWAY.

friday and saturday were oretty fun even tho its so cold out but ive had an overall good time! the obly downside is my DAD bro. i dont think hes ever experienced true happiness in hus life bc if any tiny bad thing happens he gets so MAD and for NO REASON. i try to stay happy but its literally such a mood killer like how am i supoosed to enjoy my time wjen ur over here bitching and complaing about not getting the corner booth like. get over pls shut up i wanna be happy.

and then today i thoight we were gonna go to this museum and then meet up with my brither to go to the sears/willis tower but it got completely changed and i was so confused and we didnt do anytbing k wanted to do that day. like i wanted kbbq as my bday dinner like it was the MAIN reason i wanted to go to chicaho but they switched uo and said it was too far away. like okay then… im like fine whatever just choose some place else bc idk what i want and i dont wanna decide and THEY KEPT ASKING ME AND BOTHERING ME LIKE PLS LEAVE ME ALONE. and then we were just walking around everywhere trying to fund a place to eat and i was getting annoyed so i just said olay i wanna go here, AND THEY JUSR GO SOMEWHERE ELSE EVEN THO THEY WERE ASKING ME WHERE I WANTED TO GO??? pls.. jusg make up ur mind. and then when we finally got to a place bc i was like yall im tired lets just go to fresking shake shack they starting bitching about the prices and i get we dont have a lot of money but it just made me feel so guilty??

anyway i felt way better bc me and my cousin started making fun of my dad so i felt 10x #wcousin😇

now im in the hotel room listening to my dad snore SO FREAKING LOUF LIKE HOW AM I GONNA SLEEP.

OKAY IM SO SORRY FOR WRITING SO MUCH LIKE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RESD ALL THIS COVEY OMG

TLDR; birthday was rlly my dads rlly whiny but im chill now!

have a good day/night covey sorry writing so much😭😭

-🐌

beloved snail anon,

do not feel bad for ranting!! that's the whole point of this blog!! we just need to ignore the fact that i ignored it for so long lmao.

first and foremost, HAPPIEST OF (late) BIRTHDAYS TO YOU!! I KNOW YOUR DAD WAS BEING A BIT OF A BUMMER (kill all men) BUT YOU DESERVED TO HAVE THE BESTEST DAY AND IM SORRY HE TRIED TO TAKE THAT AWAY.

my dad is, from the sound of it, very similar to your dad. and i've grown to kinda just throw it back at him. it took years of warming up to it, but now i just treat him the way he treats us and he shuts up real real quick, ya know?? anyways, im so so sorry that he was being sucky (again kill all men) and you totally didn't deserve that!! wishing you a better birthday for next year!!

all my love,

covey 𐙚⊹ ࣪ ��

[lolatalks1]

wed, dec 6 2023

this is my first real journal entry, and i dont think dear diary is fitting to start this. i mean its just tumblr. i started this little blog because i need somewhere to vent, and so here i am. that sounds like my pinned post but its whatever. im not sure why im typing like im talking to someone, so i think i should stop explaining myself.

ive heard its good to write out how you feel, so i think im going to do just that. (im explaining myself again)- today was at first a good day, i woke up relatively early and was able to get ready for school quicker than i do normally- which is a win in my book. i was able to lay in my bed- which i need to wash the sheets of. my dog keeps laying where i sleep, which flares up my bad acne. i cant blame him though, i practically leave my side of the bed in a perfect napping position for him. anyways- i was able to lay down and read a little of this cute story about a single mother and a man in the military being her neighbor! very cute, very cute. then my dad took me and derek around eight o' five, then we got to school, and it was super cold outside. having to stand and wait for the doors to open is not enjoyable- at least i had derek -my cousin- with me. recently ive been a little harsher with him, but i thinks its because ive been a bit on edge with everything as of late. i dont mean to ignore- i think i should start working on that. he already has a lot going on.

continuing, i went to class. first period was tame, i mean nothing too much happened. really essentially a free day. aryeana ? im not sure how to spell her name now that i realize it- but she was there talking with jacob about whatever. sometimes i feel a little outcasted when with them- but i guess thats because im not that much of a conversational person when i cant think of a topic that will be enjoyable for all of us. i mean, i like anime and overwatch- and some more things. all those things they either dont like or make fun of- so theres no middle ground for us to converse on. i mean, only thing i can talk about is boys with ary. but its more so talking about aryeana's endless snaps with multiple guys and shes boasting about it- as well as boasting about her not being able to talk to guys. she is really contradictory. i dont hate or get mad at her though, shes nice to me. and cate is there- she kinda helps me relax. shes just a very nice person and since ive known her for so long i dont feel like i have to be super fake with them.

i think- well i know- my day went downhill when my mom finally replied to my messages. i had texted her about going to cam's surprise birthday dinner on sunday night- and she said yes! but then i asked her about saturday, if i can go shopping with her. i needed to go to barnes and noble to get multiple books that several people wanted for christmas, and maybe the mall to get some other things like candles from bath and body works. but anyways- she then revealed shes not going to be here this saturday- more so this entire weekend.... fun.

i just dont understand how she can just go i mean- i know where shes going- hell the whole family does. its nothing new, but the fact its such a repetitive thing and she always did it around familial times (thanksgiving and now christmas). i really dont get, seriously. and ive come to learn that she goes to some town with a new guy each time. what happened to her being with ron? her last boyfriend- i knew of at least. my nana mentioned she didnt like him because how he treated my mom, so im guessing he was abusive or really shitty. i dont care, and i guess thats a bad thing. i see it as karma now. i use to feel bad, want to console her. but ive lost it. lost that empathy.

anyways, she just makes me so- angry. to the point i can't focus on happier aspects of things because shes simply just so intoxicating with her narcissistic behavior. shes so aware that what she does angers and breaks the family, but she cant find it in herself to realize that its bad. how? im not sure. she didnt have a horrible upbringing nor a traumatic event with my dad. so i cant find a genuine reason behind what she does. its whatever, i keep trying to myself i shouldnt care so much. but i cant help it. it affects my home life, makes me i guess more so depressed? i dont want to self diagnose though. but shes the reason behind my upset outlook for today. hell even started playing class of 2013 by mitski- the lyrics hitting a bit too close to home. so yeah. thats all for now i guess, im not sure how journalling works. i guess ill start learning.

[bananonbinary]

oh fuck its a deltarune liveblog post!!!

just gonna put it all in one shot so i dont get spoiled while writing

- aaaaaaa the save file said ‘kris’ again and i didnt realize and just clicked through and now im an ASSHOLE :( sorry kris. i gotta save tho, i will definitely get u killed otherwise.

- hm. interesting that you can’t dick around much on the way to the classroom; i’d have to check but i think in chapter one there was always someone else present to railroad you. does this mean kris is exerting more control?

- god i love this light world->dark world animation, VERY saturday morning cartoon

- ooh Lore(tm)

- oh right, im very bad at bullet hell

- oh....the town is named after my savefile....Don’t Like That. feels like i robbed kris again.

- “you could wear whatever you want” “all sorts of keepsakes could be put here” hmmm feeling some Things about kris’ empty room. also the half-finished look of these rooms feels Important.

- SUSIE MY BELOVED

- the town having no music is creepy as hell

- Sure.

- JESUS the werewires are cool

- i am Suspicious about what these fountains are, and if it’s really a good idea to seal them

- god i love these kids

- also hey! kris posed this time!

- i am very into these rhythm challenges

- people keep commenting on kris having zero inflection. “being possessed 99% of the time” is looking more and more likely.

- “always been annoying how much your hair smells like apples” is this...flirting???

- it means tity

- i don’t have tons to say about the plot cause its like...yep thats standard magical quest shit

- god susie and ralsei’s friendship is so good. ill be so happy if susie becomes a healer

- “you do not do crazy things like ‘have opinions.’ or scream when i capture you.” seriously kris is Not Okay

- i only got 5/6 werewires but im pretty sure im past where you can fight them and its pissing me off

-noelle is adorable

- terrified to find out whatever the fuck roulx has been doing this whole time

-oh shit nvm theres the last werewire

- njadkslfnasjdfnajksdl found the annoying dog. why.

- i’m so fucking lost where am i supposed to go

- is gamer’s delight just a mountain dew pie

- oh my god susie’s heal attack

- NOELLE IS ADORABLE

- video game piano tutoriel fucking got me okay

- okay but if we take this at face value, that’s a LOT of characterization for kris. they like bath bombs (or potentially just making shit they find on pinterest), they actually are a knife nerd, they’re thinking about college, and they are a gamer (which i think we already knew a bit). and i think they probably googled magic immediately after chapter one, which is adorable.

- kris keeping their eyes closed for asriel’s room could just be the game continuing to keep the audience in suspense, but i wonder if in-universe it’s also kris’ choice to keep their brother away from the Player 

- beardly is papyrus if papyrus sucked

- if anything permenant happens to lancer im killing everyone in this dark world and then myself

- wow, backstory! what an asshole

- okay i thought that was basically what was wrong with lancer, but why is ralsei fine then???? how did he even GET to this dark world anyway? i am Suspicious.

- wait shouldn’t rouxls be dying too then?

- how fucking long is this game????

- “it’s nice that you’re you” oh god. oh god.

- OH MY FUCKING GOD

-ah. so roulx IS also dying. ralsei what are your secrets?????

- that’s TWICE now that ralsei, and ONLY ralsei, has been able to change our pov. RALSEI WHAT ARE YOUR SECRETS??????

- BABY LEBSIASN

- ooh Lore(tm) part 2

- mmmm im not sure i trust ralsei. again. the fountains seem....weird. why does he want to close all of them except his? i dont think he’s evil, but. hm. i feel like something else is going on here.

- dsfmlkasdmfkal someone’s gonna notice that we keep stealing shit to put in this one random closet

- you know what here at the end of the game i actually really like queen, she’s a very fun character

- time for the reunion tour!!!

- think i will leave the boss rush challenge for later lmao i did just spend 7 hours on this game

- went to the graveyard. hmmmmmmmmmmm

- okay what the FUCK is up with that door toby. and why arent there any other humans here?? really probably fake game theory: this is the reverse of undertale, and all the humans are locked up underground.

- man we’re gonna fail this group project

- ???????? why can’t kris play piano now?

- oh shit is that shyren’s sister? the one that became an amalgamate in undertale?

- god i missed sans

- JESUS asgore you gotta get your shit together

- don’t you fucking play the “Home” motif at me again i WILL cry

- susie’s “i have to spend time with my friend’s parent” walk is incredible

- aaa kris i’m sorry i keep doing this to you!!! i’m so worried about them where did they go? the thump out the window sounded like it hurt :(

- .....huh. i er, huh.

- what the fuck is this credits music

jesus christ that was 8 straight hours, i might have made mistakes

[claire-willz]

I want you to know the number you did on me. I want you to know how badly you fucked me up. I can lie through my teeth and say how over you i am, and how i'm doing good now and I'm in a better mental state and whatever the fuck. I mean I think i am? I'm not 15 and self harming and shit anymore, I don't do the same shit I did back then. I don't know if I'm in a better mental state, or if I've literally just grown up. You fucking broke me. You broke my spirit, you broke my soul.You were so fucking mean to me, I still, 8 years later have your voice in my head mocking everything I do, including writing this bullshit. You fucking ruined me. My life and who I am would have been so different if I had never met you. I mean fuck, i was so desperate to get over you I started sleeping around with anyone who would give me the time of day, which eventually lead me to be a prositute because i thought 'i do it anyway but for free, why not get paid for it?'. In this whatever post I plan to be as vunerable as i can be, and in that, I feel like I'm worth fuck all because I was a prostitute. Because of you. 8 years later and saying your name feels like I'm spitting fire, my stomach turns and i get this rush of emotions, love, hate, heartbreak, guilt.. 6 years ago, I tried to take my own life. I remember thinking how when it worked you would say 'well she was actually strong enough to do it, never thought she would'. But It didnt so.. 5 years ago, I had the biggest depression breakdown to date which cost me not one but two hospital admissions in the space of 24 hours, and I remeber worrying that you would find out because I wanted you to know I had changed even though we hadn't spoken in 2 and a half years. I was depressed, the pressure that you still put over me to be everything i never was that you wanted collapsed me i suppose. Mix that with me trying to be a better person for you and never feeling like it was enough because you fucking hate me and honestly, i see myself the way you do, or did, been too long now, maybe after 8 years you changed your mind? just in case you came back, just in case. I don't remember the sound of your voice, I barely remember what you look like. I don't remember your likes and dislikes, I don't remember your traits and hobbies, But i remember how you made me feel. And I know, because ive been telling myself for years that i need to forgive you, and I think i have, But if i really had, I wouldn't be writing this, so i don't know. Everything I did to the drugs I smoked, the alochol I drank, the people I considered friends and the men i slept with was all to get over you, and in return... I got cripping anxiety as a result from all of it. My psychologists says that to me, you represented everything i wanted at the time even if it wasn't who you were. You represented the love i wanted from my dad, you represented a happy life, you represented acceptance and approval, stability, just everything I didn't have and never did have that subconsiously I always wanted.. and yes, you did put me into therapy, not soley you, but you did. You're right, I am crazy, and i blame you for it, you made me crazy then got mad when I was. But what i wanna know, is how the FUCK do i fix this mess you made, they say time heals all wounds but i disagree, a shitload of water has run under the bridge, every single cell in my body has changed, but the time hasn't healed the wounds its caused a huge infection, the water running under the bridge has stopped running and turned into a lake, the cells in my body still crave you and still yearn for your smell and the sound of your voice saying 'stress less baby'. If i could still remember, it would ring in my ears, but its hard too when your voice is basically forgotten in my memory. I don't know how to get over you, I've tried literally everything. Hypnotism, medication, drugs, alochol, sex (and alot of it), I've tried dating other guys,I've written you letters and burnt them,Ive talked about you in depth to that many fucking people its embarrasing, yet I'm still here. Saturday night and i'm still missing the absolute shit out of you and I'm still hurt over you, stalking any only tumblr profile that has even the hint of your existence then feeling my stomach turn when i remember how it felt when you did the things you did to me. Its like its october 2012 all over again, it feels the exact fucking same and I don't know why. I hate it, I wish it could stop but I really am convinced that I never will. I won't get over you, the damange you did won't heal. I hate you, I hate you so much it literally lets my skin aflame, but I would do absolutely anything to have you back in my life. I don't think I'll get this happy ever after I've been dreaming of, I don't think I'll find someone and get married. I wish you never existed, because this isnt normal. The feelings and everything i go through daily still isn't normal. And i wish it wasn't like this. 24/7 you're torturing me. And i mean youre happy now, you have a wife and a kid, you moved on so long ago I'd be suprised if you ever remembered me. You won't ever read this, and i hope you don't. Maybe this is just another lame attempt to get over you, it won't work, but helps the pain for a little while. Being completly vunerable and honest in a 'letter' isn't something ive done yet. The rest that i wrote were all bullshit on how i forgive you and how i dont love you anymore and how i am doing so much better than you ever thought possible and blah blah blah. All lies, they feel real at the time and maybe they are, but when its moments like these that are so fucking raw the truth just comes out and i'm here, thinking of you and hating everything thats happened. I see my life and three sections, before you, during you, and after you. Before you life was easy, during you.. life was amazing and intense and extreme, after you is pain and denial. Its embarrasment and sadness. Evens bandaids fall off, even stitches get infected. Open wounds sometimes stay open. And its your fault. Maybe if you did come back life would get easier for me, maybe i wouldn't hear your voice, maybe I would go crazy on you again. I know i did awful things to you, but were they that awful? I did them because i was hurt, but you did worse too, and you never owned up to it, and yet youre still the victim in my eyes, even though you moved on and you don't feel the way i feel. I am the victim here, not you and fuck you for thinking that, fuck me for thinking that, I'm just as bad for viewing you that way, I could probably choose not too, but its so embedded into my subconsious i don't see any other way to view you. Because i hate you like you were the bad guy, and love you like you were the victim. It would have been easier if you died, not gonna lie about that. If you had died, my life would be easier. I don't mean that as 'i wish you were dead', but i mean that if you hadnt of left my by choice, it would probbaly be easier to deal with. I know ive changed as a person, i made alot of mistakes and i grew up and grew from them which is something every single person has done and yet i feel your judgement in the harshest way for every single one of them. I carry the guilt for the things that i did as if i did them to you, the one i cared/care about most. I don't know how well this explains everything within me ranting about shit and whatever, but i tried.

[callumilott-archive]

hi! so u said u could write a whole other essay abt the 2019 championship in your juri post so i have come to humble rrequest the essay pls id like to know your thoughts if u have time thank you have a good day

OH yes this is one hell of a distraction thank u skdjfkg let’s go! i’m mainly focusing on juri and marcus here since i really only paid attention to the both of them (in f3 at least) up until spa.

disclaimer before we start: my memory is bad and it is possible i remember some things wrong and finding sources on the messy f3 website is a PAIN so some info might be inaccurate

so the 2019 championship kicked off in barcelona, which was a mess in true f3 fashion. 2 guys hit each other on the way to the grid, i think one started from the pit lane and the other had too much damage?? boys, the race doesn’t start until lights out smh. this was also the race where christian lundgaard crossed the line first, parked his car at the 1st sign and then it was cruelly taken from him because of a 5 second penalty for virtual safety car infringement and no one told him until he was already out of his car skdfjsg it was sad but also kinda hilarious and a goddamn mess. i remember reading it on the f1 website at the time bc i didn’t watch f3 at this point. juri did alright here, think he got a podium in race 2. the premas were already pretty dominant but christian was up there as well.

season progresses, juri gets his penalty cancelled in france (icon, really. who else can say that) and apparently does not have a good time in race 2. he also did a kimi impression somewhere on the radio (’leave me alone’). marcus didn’t like france either bc he stalled at the start, got back up front, got tapped around and still finished in the points both races. f3 france = mess. spielberg brings my favorite top 3 of any f3 race ive seen so far. marcus starts on pole, so far the only prema who hasnt won a race yet, max fewtrell p2 and juri p3. somewhere during the race marcus and juri swap places and max minds his business in p2. great podium, dont remember this race at all sjdfgks. race 2 still has me cackling even tho it probs wasn’t that funny, but marcus and rob were arguing over the lead and they collided (on the final lap, i think), sending marcus off with a puncture and rob actually still won but got a penalty which demoted him to second. rule number 1 of motorsports, lads. rule number 1. do not hit your teammate. would’ve loved to be jehan in that team debrief. 

at this point, juri is considered a title contender. he will be considered a title contender until monza. more on that shitshow later. he knocks it out the park in silverstone (race 1 win, pole) and talks start up about juri to toro rosso 2020 (i mightve been one of them). this, of course, all depends on juri getting enough super licence points. budapest, marcus’ first win in f3. don’t remember much else tbh, wasn’t that eventful i guess?? aaaand then we get to spa. saturday is fine for them since they race in the morning as opposed to late afternoon for f2. robert’s still in the lead by far, jehan and juri following but since there’s only 2 rounds to go after this so mistakes are costly. juri learns this the hard way in spa race 2 but i cant blame any of them for mistakes made in spa and monza one week later, or sochi for that matter. i think marcus won that race and dedicated it to anthoine but im p sure i didnt see much through my tears this day. juri scores no points, damages his front wing somewhere and gets a black and orange flag to come in for damage repairs. monza, also a disaster. also do not blame them. both marcus and juri did not have a good time, i remember juri launching himself into space over the rear wing of another car and marcus got p2 in race 1 but was penalised heavily for one thing or another, and ended up p21 and far outside the points. 

juri’s no longer a contender for the title, neither is marcus. the title will be decided between jehan and robert in sochi, at that point p2 and p1 respectively. sochi was also a mess for juri, considering he spun christian around in a low speed corner while the safety car was ending. to this day i have no idea what on earth he was doing but it does make for great banter between juri and christian. with the penalty following, juri drops from p3 to p8 and misses valuable points. robert wins the championship, marcus wins the race. jehan has a terrible time in the last race and gets demoted to p3 in the championship because marcus said sayonara and fucked off with another podium and a fastest lap. juri is p4 and is 17 points short for p3. not enough super licence points. he does win the final race of the season, tho his face says he knows hes about to have a very uncomfortable conversation with helmut marko. still pains me. 

to conclude, it all got away from juri in spa and i think thats very understandable considering the circumstances. it started out very promising but just. ended up falling short. he was the only driver to even remotely challenge the premas last season tho, in terms of championship. and this is why same spec racing is so exciting! we’ve seen it again in f3 this year with a very very tight championship. one bad weekend can throw your entire season off. 

[fueledbysprite]

abandoned wips masterlist

so not too long ago i did an insta poll asking if i should expose all my abandoned fic drafts cause i mean it’s not like theyre ever gonna see the light of day otherwise. i was going to do it when i hit 3k kudos on ao3 and i did so i suppose it has come time for me to expose my mistakes

for obvious reasons, don’t repost these (idk why anyone would lol) but if you really like one of these and want to see it continued, just hit up my ask box and i may or may not consider~

Miscellaneous Fandoms:

Ninjago: Zephyr - a Morro backstory fic bc the hageman bros refuse to feed me more content of my son. barely started it but yknow its there

Miraculous Ladybug/BoBoiBoy: this failed attempt at a fanginette fic bc @secretagentspydetectiveninja got me invested even tho writers block is a binch hahshs

BoBoiBoy:

kokotiam gang angst that reminded me i cannot for the life of me write emotional angst (or any angst for that matter oop)

ramenzo (and kaifang) angst that i churned out on a saturday afternoon on a writing spike instead of doing homework bc I Do Not Control the Writing Juice

au where bbb is a forest guardian(?) and fang just wants away from Society (same fang same) i will probably be yearning for woodland aus till the day i die bc who *doesnt* wanna ditch everything and go live in the middle of the woods amirite?

ramenzo n boifang water fight bc you cant convince me these idiots dont get up to ridiculous shenanigans on their downtime

abandoned draft for the sequel to the og ramenzo fic (dont bother reading it literally nothing happens i swear)

i literally don’t remember where i was going with this i think it was supposed to be fang introspection but idk??

uhh kaifang with ramenzo vibes i think this was gonna be? i genuinely don’t remember anymore oop-

RAMENZO IN QUARANTINE yes this one was regular au (i mean duh) and it’s a shame i never ended up finishing it-

i am actually goboifang t r a s h...until i realized im going to have to make all the food by myself and i never learned to make food :’)) (fr if anyone provides me with any kind of fanon gbf content i will love you forever pls)

this...exists even tho i honestly prefer it didnt but ramenzo is ramenzo n ramen has freckles i will fite u on this (dont read it pls)

if anyone wants ramenzo crumbs (and i mean that quite practically) then feel free to consume the Specks

dont read this pls im begging just dont lets yeet it into the void it doesnt exist~ I Do Not See It

update: i discovered this uhh kaifang post-bora ra incident thing in my other drive

Miraculous Ladybug:

okay forewarning there are wayyyy too many of these so im skipping the ones that are sequels/dependent on other fics for context just to spare myself from having to sort through this mountain

i was planning to participate in chlonath week 2k19 (unfortunately for chlonath nation I Do Not Control the Hyperfixation oop) if you want context then ask

marcnath crumbs thats it thats the doc

oh look allya is self projecting again (writing is still pain) (marcnath)

for the one who requested chloenette with the dialogue prompt i am so sorry

idk why this feels like something ive posted before but then again all lovesquare is the same to me (dead) so who knows im not gonna bother checking hshsh (marichat)

chlonath go to comic con or sth idk chloe is tsundere as always (or would have been anyway if i ever ended up Finishing this)

i *think* this was based on a @terrible-miraculous-ladybug-aus post but heck if i remember now- (lukanette??)

i have absolutely no recollection as to where i was going with this but if anyone finds the concept interesting then by all means go ahead n snatch it- (manon finds the miraculous i guess?)

this is a great. opening. to a chloe fic. that doesnt exist. oof :,)

caline bustier’s home for orphans amirite (i mean she basically already adopted the whole class so)

im genuinely not a fan of the jealous!lover trope but someone in the marcnath server wanted some at one point so i. attempted. and failed but you know thats to be expected at this point :’3

oh look allya is projecting her writing struggles onto marc again is anyone surprised?

theres probably a museum brotp story in here but it doesnt exist and at this point it never will rip

oh good lord not this again i genuinely managed to forget about it for a while until now-

i just read the first line and im already reeling what the heck is this nathanette(??)

WHY IS THERE MARICHAT IN MY WIP FOLDER WHAT

allya stop projecting onto emo weebs challenge failed

i really wanna know where the context for chlonath skiing trip came from i literally have 0 recollection of this at all??

YO I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THE CONTEXT FOR THIS ONE anyway nath n aroace!alix arranged marriage au anyone?? well too bad cause i abandoned it oop-

ahahahahahahaha wdym i wrote 7k of chlonath and then ditched it i would never do that lmao-

i think this was a hunger games au uh

something something marcnath

marcnath angst i guess? *allya pls stop trying to write angst we’ve already established that is not a thing you can do*

something something chlonath

im never gonna forgive @powerdragonmoon for the fact that i thought “beecock” while glancing over this to figure out wth was going on. cholaon works here too tho so that is what i shall call it //sideways glare at moon

take your otp. now put them on a trampoline. but heaven forbid you ever finish the fic- (chlonath if it wasnt obvious)

nathanette doll au from forever ago with @lotus-duckies that was a real concept its a shame i have 0 commitment

i wanna call this lukanathanette but i honestly don’t remember where i was going with it so idk

hi uhm what is this and why is it so depressing allya fr quit self projecting on emo tomatoes oml

chlonath established relationship i guess??

museum brotp go skating?? is that what this is?

how much chlonath do i hAVE also chloe u tsundere

nathaniel is Yearning n tbh i dont blame him cause same (ft. marc)

i could swear this was gonna be luklonath (chlolukanath??) but i wouldnt be able to remember-

if anyone can figure out what’s going on with marc pls tell me bc i dont-

cholaon but theres no context

Oh god im finally done good lord that’s all of em i hope i never have to look at a mlb doc again in my life anyway pls be grateful n enjoy the crumbs n stuff thanks i sacrificed my sanity for this-

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 7 - The Best Group Chat

Author’s Note: A short chapter - just a quick catch-up. Next update will be Saturday, and oh boy we've got another akuma. If I'm so insistent on writing them I should probably figure how to actually write fights.

Chapter Summary: Some text interactions of the Quantics and Felix and what they've thought of Marinette up to this point.

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Kid Mime: So!!!! Wat do you all think of our new frend that weve had 4 a weeekkkk!!! Because I love herrr!!! We r going to keep her right!!!????

  Melodie: Oh you bet we are. I’m a little worried about her though, I mean did you see that bruise? 

Melodie: Also she is precious and very sweet. If she doesn’t seem uncomfortable with the arrangement, we should keep hanging out with her. 

  Felix: Are you referring to the bruise on her face? It did seem unlikely to have been caused on accident.

  Melodie: WHAT BRUISE ON HER FACE?!

  Kid Mime: SHE HAS A BRUISE ON HER FACEEEEE?! MOMMM SOME1 HURT UR NEWEST CHILD!!!

  The Mom Friend: Wait wat? When did you see that Felix? r you sure?

  Felix: On Thursday, when she seemed overly tired. She was falling asleep in class and her palm wiped some make-up off of her face. She excused herself to the bathroom when she realized, but I did see a rather concerning bruise on her face, and there seemed to be scratch above it. I assume you were referring to another bruise?

  Kid Mime: HOW MANY BRUSES DOES THS PRECIOUS ANGLE GIRL HAVE!!!?

  The Mom Friend: enuf that im concerned

  Melodie: The make-up means that she’s hiding it, and come to think of it, she is dressed rather warmly for the current weather.

Melodie: I meant the bruise on her arm, it was pretty big.

  The Mom Friend: yea long sleeves an pants in early spetember is kinda wierd

  Felix: While I find this to be disconcerting, we would do best to avoid jumping to conclusions. It would also be for the best to avoid mentions of her past school - when it was mentioned on Monday, she seemed rather uncomfortable.

  The Mom Friend: yea we don’t want to make assuptions and i don’t want to upset her

  Melodie: She’d better have just fallen…

  Kid Mime: Al’ no murder

  Melodie: … 

    Kid Mime: DOES ANY1 NO HOW 2 GET OUR AMAZING MARI TO HANG OUT W/ US??? I ONLY GET 2 SEE HER AT ACHOOL AND IT SADDENS MEEEEEE

  Felix: She may just be shy, it would be best to give her time to adjust to her new environment.

  Melodie: I do hope she decides to join us soon though. I think she seems like a pretty cool person, especially if she could get out of her shell.

  The Mom Friend: allegra, give er time dont want to force her it might make her uncomforable

  Melodie: I know, that’s not what I meant, I just worry about her. 

  Kid Mime: Im with u there. i wory about her sometimes something just… i dunno

  Felix: It is understandable to be concerned. It seems likely that she may have rather low self-esteem, and lacks confidence in herself. That, as well as the fact that we still do not know where she got so many bruises.

  Melodie: I think we were right about why she was wearing longer clothes, did you guys notice she’s wearing short sleeves now.

  The Mom Friend: poor thing at least she heeled now

    The Mom Friend: does anyone no y mari was so tired today

  Lovable Grump: I noticed, but she did not mention any reason in particular.

Lovable Grump: …

Lovable Grump: Claude, I’m changing my password again.

  Kid Mime: NOOOO pls we all have fun nicknamesssss

  Felix: Your nicknames have a tendency to be longer than my actual name, which makes them unnecessary.

  Melodie: Accept your fate Felix. Claude can not and will not be stopped. Also Allan, I don’t know know about Marinette. She did seem pretty tired today though….

  The Mom Friend: hmm…

  Kid Mime: FEEEELLLIXXXXXXX NOOOOO UR NAME IS SOO BORING NOWWWW!!!

  Felix: That is unfortunate for you.

Felix: It is not the first time that Marinette has seemed overly fatigued. She does commissions does she not? Perhaps one of her projects kept her up.

  The Mom Friend: maybe she should take on les if shes being overworked

  Kid Mime: *mom instincts activated*

  The Mom Friend: im just concerned about her health

  Melodie: He’s got you there, Allan.

    Kid Mime: I CANT WAIT IS SCOOL OVER YET

  The Mom Friend: only a little longer

The Mom Friend: then to mari’s

  Kid Mime: I KNOOOOOOOOO

Kid Mime: I CANT WAIIIIIITTTTTTTT

Kid Mime: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  Felix: Claude, you should calm down. You do not want to overwhelm her.

  Melodie: I’m excited too! She actually wants to hang out with us after school and she invited us over to her house!

  Kid Mime: do u think i can finally get her number

  Felix: I doubt she’s interested in your memes Claude.

  Kid Mime: but i cant even send her cute baby animal oictures

Kid Mime: or texxt her good moring

  Melodie: You mean texting her good morning like five minutes before first hour? After you’ve already seen each of us in person anyways?

  Kid Mime: YES!

  The Mom Friend: all of u guys need to pay attention in class

  Kid Mime: :(((((( fine

    Melodie: Why did she give us a bunch of pastries and thank us?

  Felix: Perhaps she thought we were rather nice guests. Though I will admit I thought it rather odd as well.

  Kid Mime: as much as i like baked goods i don’t get it??? I feel like were missing something? It seemed liek she was thanking us for soemthing else????? all we did was come over

  The Mom Friend: did anyone notice that there was a school right across the street?

  Melodie: Hmmm.

  Felix: As much as I wish to get satisfactory answers, it is not our place if she does not wish to share.

  Melodie: Fine, switching topics: Thoughts on Adrien?

  The Mom Friend: u mean the boy you accused of bullying her

  Melodie: >:(  I just thought he seemed suspicious

  The Mom Friend: u meant well

  Kid Mime: PERSONALY I DONT NO Y SHE HID SOME1 SO GREAT FROM US

  Felix: Marinette was correct. The two of you should never have been introduced.

  Melodie: He seemed nice. (Besides the puns) I liked him

Melodie: He’s got my approval

  The Mom Friend: thats good i dont think it wood be good if two of her friends didnt get along. He seems to understand when shes upset so thats cool very good

  Kid Mime: does our mom have another child now?!

The Mom Friend: …

The Mom Friend: …maybe

  Kid Mime: :)

  Felix: Moving on, I’m impressed with the connections she has at such a young age.

  Melodie: RIGHT?! WHAT KIND OF BEAUTIFUL TALENTED STAR HAS BEEN GIFTED TO US?!

  The Mom Friend: allegra stop snooping on the internet we just agreed not to do that sort of thing

  Melodie: …

Melodie: Fine…

  Kid Mime: i still didnt get her number :(

  Felix: Perhaps you could ask her at school.

  Kid Mime: BUT THATS SO FAR AWAY

  Felix: It really is not.

  The Mom Friend: let him be dramatic

The Mom Friend: its his middle name

  Kid Mime: it is

Kid Mime: as my unofficial official mom, he wood no

---

Author’s Note: So basically, they're worried, but want to respect her privacy. I could have just said that, but I love their interactions.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  They're all just such sweethearts.

One thing I forgot to put in the note at the end of chapter 6 was my reasoning for Marinette getting to that point. I forgot one big reason (I'm sorry. This is why i need to write things down.) But for the most part it's that Marinette often takes the blame/apologizes for things that aren't her fault, so I feel she is quick to blame herself. That, combined with how she sees the good in people, I think she could have trouble identifying that she isn't at fault for how things turned out at her old school.

Okay, so this past weekend I was struck with the ability to write - don't ask I don't understand either - so basically now I'm writing chapter 11. Yeah, I managed to write the next 4+ chapters in a day. As much as I'd love to post them all now, I need to keep a regular schedule for the sake of my sanity and still need to edit them a bit. But hey, at least there's no chance of waiting too long now.

I really love seeing your comments so don't be scared to write one! I can assure you that it's one of my favorite parts of this.

Thanks for reading, and constructive criticism is welcomed! See (well, not 'see') you guys Saturday, with an akuma that doesn't like being lied to.

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[smordesigns]

Why Ben Solo Died

So I have quickly fallen into the Ben Solo hole. Literally as of January 10th I hadn't read a single thing about Reylo or Kylo Ren beyond having seen The Force Awakens in 2015. I had a son in 2016 and my husband and I didn’t love Rogue One so when The Last Jedi came out we shrugged and went on with our lives. Now we did visit WDW in 2018 and had pictures with Chewie and Kylo (my husband is a Kylo/Sith fan) - me it was a cool story but that was it. Come January 14 - my company does a massive firing and to cope with it I go to my Everlark A03 list and start to read. I had been on Tik Tok earlier and someone had posted the “I Need a Hero” video with Ben Solo kicking ass. so  I had this thought - “let me look up Ben and Rey on A03.”

I was hooked - started reading all of this fanfiction, looking up fanart, got back on Tumblr just like in 2014 when I fell for Everlark. Now I talked to a couple people at work and knew I needed to see the movies and finally talked my husband into watching the Sequel series and watching TROS in theaters on Saturday (1/25). I know why everyone is hurt. Ben had his redemption but his Happily Ever After - or even the acceptance by those who knew he had turned his back on the darkness was cut short. Everyone is blaming JJ Abrams for crap writing and Disney for rushing the sequels but in watching all three last week its a really good story. Here’s why I believe they killed Ben off and didn’t say goodbye in the end:

#GirlPower

Now I’m going to get yelled at by someone who says thats bullshit or unfair or whatever but let me explain.

In the original trilogy they made a strong female character in Leia as we know its takes reading into older movies to find the #girlpower but its almost always there - just gotta realize what the women are doing - they are all strong in their own way BUT Leia was not the main character - Luke was. 

In the prequel trilogy again another strong female character in Padme but the issue here was she didnt have a lot of screentime - Obi Won and Anakin were the focus of these movies. 

So when Disney decided to continue what did they do? Write a strong female character in Rey but instead of the man being the focus they wanted Rey to be the saviour and leader with the help of Leia. Here’s where they found issues - they made the character that everyone knew from Canon and his history very appealing. They did not expect to have the redemption of Ben Solo be of focus. They knew they needed a bad guy and fans loved him after TFA - evident when you go to their merchandise or parks but the plan was to kill him or do a quick save like Vader at the end of the movies - but he wasn’t ever going to survive because they needed that final shot to be of Rey. To show a woman could carry a series and live without a man.

The only reason we got the redemption we did (again all my speculation) is because of Rian Johnson and the story he started in TLJ and the storyline of the Skywalkers - he couldnt end up bad. Now I do believe they have left the door open to continue Rey and Ben’s story but the question is will they because of comments made “This is the end of the Skywalker story” etc. Also do Daisy and Adam want to continue the story? I DO NOT want to see anyone else play those characters but with Adam’s rise in fame its going to be hard to get anything done - and they cant wait. I do agree a quick series in Disney+ like the WandaVision would be the best option. Showing her getting him back from the WBW if thats possible. 

I purchased the extended version books this weekend to continue my obsession and if you notice I am all about posting this right now. I cant wallow any longer but i wanted to put my thoughts out there as to why Ben was killed as quickly as he was once he truly showed who he was and had nothing after.

Edit: Additional thought- JJ’s initial goal with Kylo was to create another Vader. No one refers to him as Anakin (prior to the prequels) but as Vader. The fact that he came back to the light for his son didn’t matter to anyone - he was always known as Vader. He’s one of those classic villain characters. JJ supposedly loves Star Wars and probably wanted to create a character just as memorable as Vader. That was his goal with Kylo Ren but unlike Vader who really has very little humanity until the very end we got Kylo/Ben and saw his humanity in TFA. This is why his redemption had to be stronger than Vader’s- Kylo had more humanity and we as humans want humanity to thrive. This is why we are upset about how quickly Rey gets over Ben. It’s not the fact that he died, had no lines, or whatever it’s that his mourning did not fit his plot line in the story. JJ had to bring in Palpatine because Kylo wasn’t strong enough to just flip at the end or be the evil baddie that Dey beats to have eternal happiness. he needed to do more than just take one second to throw someone off a cliff as Vader does and giving of his life to someone who is dead is so much stronger - plus it’s groundbreaking in Star Wars and ties back to Anakin so well. But again this conversation wouldn’t have happened if we had gotten one more minute of Rey grief or a quick force ghost from Leia saying thank you for my son. Something that says one of Rey’s goals is accomplished because honestly them laughing and hugging at the end said none of that. Even her taking the Skywalker name was an “eh” moment. I didn’t need Ben as a ghost or with her at the end but I wanted a tear something more than “Ben!” And move on. That’s where I think JJ got his wish.

Also you can tell Ben Solo was never end game because there is a decidedly lack of Ben Solo merchandise. Come one Funko just one figurine if Ben Solo doing their shrug in the black sweater - is it too much to ask for?

[eliottdemaurys]

mercredi 10:40 - phase de latence clip analysis

Since I had so many thoughts about mercredi 10:40, I decided to make this analysis of the clip. Buckle up mecs, its gonna be a long ride. I’m putting this under the cut because this ended up being way longer than I originally planned

So we start in the biology classroom where it looks like the class is working on an assignment where you can’t talk to the other students. It might be a test though (if french people could rb this and explain it that would be very much appreciated.) Imane seems like someone who cares a lot about academic honesty, but she cares even more about being a loyal friend. That’s why I was shocked, but not entirely surprised when she whispered an answer to Lucas for his assignment.

“You forgot the latency phase”

“What?”

“The latency phase. When two chromosomes are forming”

Imane is someone who is reserved, but once she gets to know and trust someone, she will go above her personal beliefs. The same can go for when she defended Alexia during the Kiffance party when Chloé said a generalization about gay people. Homosexuality is against Imane’s religion, but that doesn’t stop her from defending Alexia. Imane is such a caring hufflepuff and anyone would be lucky to have a friend like her. 

Lucas gets the texts from Eliott

When Lucas got the texts from Eliott, he seemed apprehensive, but he was still willing to turn his uncompleted assignment in to see him. Lucas was confused and probably hurt that Eliott didn’t text him since Saturday, but I truly believe that all it takes is for Lucas to see Eliott’s face for 2 seconds to stop being mad at him.

Eliott also brings out the spontaneous side in Lucas, whether it means leaving class early or ditching Chloé and Lucille on their “double date.” Eliott makes Lucas fearless. (I’ll come back to that later.)

“Minimalism, Imane. Minimalism.”

This quote makes me laugh every time. Lucas has a very witty personality that we see from time to time when he’s truly happy. Imane’s reaction to this made it even better.

This smile!!!! I wish I could see Eliott smile like that forever!!!! Okay but seriously, Eliott was so happy at that moment before it all went to hell. He probably had a hard couple of days after he left Lucas’s apartment, but now that he seemed to be feeling better he couldn’t wait to see Lucas. There is so much hope and love in those eyes.

This kiss was such a natural reaction for Eliott, but I don’t think he understood how monumental it would be to kiss Lucas at school. Lucas never told Eliott that he is closeted but after Eliott saw Lucas’s reaction, I’m sure he definitely knows now. This, my mecs, is the first part of this clip that hurts. And it gets worse.

“Doesn’t that make you happy?”

“Of course. I just don’t want you to be sad or feel like it’s my fault”

So much to unpack with these lines. “Doesn’t that make you happy?” Oh Eliott, of course it makes Lucas happy. Lucas’ reaction caused the doubt to start creeping in for a second, and I don’t blame him. I’m sure breaking up with Lucille was a terrifying moment for him. He lost his main safety net and jumped into this new and exciting relationship where there is still a chance of abandonment. Thankfully, Eliott’s doubt only lasted for a second when Lucas said “I don’t want you to be sad or to feel like it’s my fault.” Not only does Lucas want to be with him, but he cares so much about how Eliott feels. Lucas understood that Lucille was a big part of Eliott’s life, and he can’t help but feel guilty for breaking up their long term relationship.

“I'm not sad!”

Eliott is so happy here. Right away Lucas expressed genuine concern for Eliott’s feelings probably in a way Lucille never did. He also assured Eliott about how happy their relationship makes him. Lucas just wanted to be sure that Eliott feels the same way, especially after not hearing from him for days.

This time it was Eliott’s turn to reassure Lucas. This forehead touch expressed more than words ever could in this situation. The true intimacy in this moment is so tangible. Not to mention the little nose rub thing Eliott always does with Lucas! They’re just so soft with each other I feel like my heart is going to melt.

Now for some more angst.

“My mother is crazy” “I don’t need crazy people in my life”

It physically pains my heart to type those words, let alone hear it being said from Lucas multiple times as a rewatch this clip. I’m sure once Lucas realizes that what he said was wrong he’ll spend his whole life proving to Eliott how wrong that statement is.

This moment right here is the part where I start crying every time. Eliott is always so expressive through his eyes, and you can so clearly see the pain. His biggest fear about Lucas came true: he realized that Lucas won’t accept him for his mental illness. Of course this isn’t true, but after Lucas calls his mom with a mental illness crazy, there’s no reason for him to believe otherwise. Eliott decides at that moment to build a wall around himself, and that prompts him to make this insta post. The worst thing about this is that Lucas doesn’t know why Eliott starts to withdraw.

Lucas becomes so brave around Eliott. Only two minutes before Lucas was scared to kiss Eliott in school, but in a matter of minutes, he was ready to kiss him without a second thought. Lucas was also so sure about telling his parents about Eliott. I’m so proud of him.

Maybe that’s what makes Eliott’s rejection of the kiss even more painful. Lucas was so open around Eliott, so i’m sure Eliott walking away was a punch to the gut. The confusion Lucas must have felt was probably overwhelming.

What happens next?

Now Lucas has two choices: he can do what he has done before and shut down within himself, or he could open up to someone about this. I hope that he goes to Manon for help because she has always made it clear that he shouldn’t have to go through his struggles alone. It would also be nice for him to talk to Mika or Alexia, since they both seem to be very confident in their sexualities.

Please tell me if you would like me to write more clip analyses like these! I genuinely loved writing this even though I had to rewatch an incredibly painful clip over and over again.

I’m sure there’s so much I missed, so if you have any other thoughts on this clip please feel free to share!