#thats what I've been using personally and seems to have the most posts tagged to?

[crabs-with-sticks]

At the suggestion of @pennabeast I call upon the council to help settle the matter of this ship name because as far as I can tell, nobody knows what to do.

[evilminji]

OKAY. *slams open door in manic about to have opinions*

MAYBE i am binging so, SO much unhinged bnha fics? Have already sent this to all my mutual and is not ENOUGH? But everyone is focused on these BABIES and not the MOST unhinged of them all? You COWARDS!!!

That's RIGHT! Ya girl has been hitting the "yandere/obsessive/possessive" behavior tag on Ao3 and is REFUSING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT! I have THOUGHTS DAMN IT! AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA-!!! *Flips table*

Why the FUCK everyone focusing on BABIES?

I get it, don't yuck someone else's yum. To each their own. I respect that. But ALSO? What lvl of unhinged could they POSSIBLY HAVE? They are FIVE. SMOOTH FACED TODDLER BABY BOYS! A CHILD!

Like? Listen...

You know how Quirks are basicly evolutionary advantages? Random protections that are hit or miss? I have touched on this before in my naruto WIP (that i never posted but shush), but there must exsist a theoretical opposite of killing intent.

A sort of loving/peaceful intent if you will. A SAFETY intent. Or, for the purposes of THIS scenario and slightly to the left of that, a "love me" field. Which? Unlike what the perverse might believe or suggest? Just makes the target... love you.

Not sexually desire.

Love. Care about. Emotional connection.

And, yeah, maybe i've just been reading too many fics where shigiraki do what shigiraki does, and he is his unhinged obsessed lil self. Too many unhinged yandere fics where i darkly mutter "you are forgetting their Core Character Motivatioooooons! Just write an OC!"

Because you can twist a characters personality WITHOUT forgetting who they ARE. Thats what makes it INTERESTING, after all. Seeing how it could go so very, very wrong. How a good emotion, taken too extreme, can corrupt! N it's not just "oh that means violence n cursing right? Immediately jumping to cruelty?"

Its the obsession. The need to consume. The manipulation and care in which they try and maintain the illusion. It isn't one crack and "whelp, fuck it I guess!". Every character is different! Breaks under the strain of 1000% loving someone, DIFFERENT. And it brings up FASCINATING dynamics n potential quirk reactions?

Cause a emotional quirk WILL work. Even on people who supposed "dont have any" emotions? Because thats not how the human body FUNCTIONS. They HAVE all the necessary components. They just have a disorder. The Quirk would be forcing their body to MIMIC "feel-Y.exe" and their body would go with that. How THEY would process that data? What would it FEEL like to THEM? Whole different story.

But they WOULD feel "love" in what ever capacity THEY understand it.

You don't want to hurt your BEST FRIEND do you? You love them. Your BELOVED SISTER? This CUTE CHILD? She seems so NICE. Or maybe it's a precious and to be protected PET? She doesn't know what she'll get, "love" is nebulous and multifaceted. Could be platonic, familial, romantic. The love of a comrade. But it's never failed BEFORE. (Not, that I imagine, she being a well adjusted young lady, would feel morally comfortable USING said quirk in such times of peace. On anybody.)

We're all friend here, right? No need to be aggressive! Hurt anybody! Let's all put our weapons down, yeah?

But! This runs into a PROBLEM. The fuckin Yandere. Your bog standard sociopath. Those to whom this love field/targeting/ray/what-have-you is either so completely foreign too or NOTICEABLE as to be ineffective. Or to whom "love" is AGGRESSIVE.

Who's concept of "love" would actually make the problem WORSE.

I bring this up? Because I am FACINATED by the concept of AfO falling in love.

He... he would be COMPLETELY unhinged about it. The very act would unlock LAYERS to his deeply fucked up, highly obsessive, mind games and bank vaults, squirrel brain.

But I don't think he'd ever WILLINGLY fall in love. Or even be capable. Might be a brain chemistry thing, honesty. But the very reason his CLINGS to his his brothers quirk? Is because his brother was HIS. They were connected. It was... the closest thing he understood to love. And he is unhinged even to this day about it.

EIGHT GENERATIONS OF USERS LATER.

So like? If he spooked some poor soul? With a "love me" quirk? And she, in terror, tried to blast this Scary Supervillian into Not Hurting Her? She would have NO WAY of knowing that she just made a HUGE fucking mistake. Like... conceivably, the WORST mistake.

Because all it would take? Is her NOT instantly dying. No reflexive "how dare you use your Quirk on me". And? The altered brain chemistry starts to kick in. He's suddenly getting?? All these NICE happy brain chemicals that his body has been fuckin STARVED off? Fascinating new sensations? Elevated mood?

It's fake. He KNOWS it's fake. :) But that doesn't mean he won't murder her if she STOPS :)

Looooove yoooou~♡

Does it shift in to real, deeply deranged, love? Impossible to tell. Someone for the LOVE OF GOD call All Might. But?? He's just such an unhinged MESS it's fascinating to explore how emotional quirks would even react to him? Fascinating to think about how he would REACT if he had a SECOND "little brother" scenario. A person he CARED about. But this time... WORSE because it was in a way he could somewhat comprehend AND he had FAR more power then before.

Would it derail everything? Would he be able to focus on his Machiavellian plans while being able to fold them into them? Would he fuckin CONSUME THEM like he did Tomura? Ultimate form of love, after all, to become HIM.

How long could she, the hypothetical Quirk holder, keep that Quirk ACTIVE? Fear is a powerful motivator.

Just?? Why are there not more fics about the Ultimate Creep, BEING CREEPY AND UNHINGED??? He's VERY GOOD AT IT. Has had a LOT OF PRACTICE. LET AfO be deeply insane, 2XXX!

[purpdrawsthings]

Never gonna give you up~

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┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ➳

┊ ┊ ☪⋆ 𖥸

┊ ⊹ ➳

✯

Creative Control - SMG4

00:52 ━━━━●───── 01:56

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻

ılıılıılıılıılıılı

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

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INTRODUCTION

Before we get started, I'd like to address some important before we get in the thing =3

WHAT I DO NOT ALLOW

Asks for donations

Yes I have answered some asks regarding this, but I seriously cannot donate.

I do feel sorry, I genuinely do. But, I should be honest that I can't donate, therefore, I ask for people to not spam my ask box with donations

NSFW

Obviously huge no-no sign for me. I want this place to be as clean possible.

Any mentions of controversies, etc

Keep this place happy for all of those stuff. I'll only talk of it if it's terrible, but I'd like to keep this place not walking with negativity.

I'd prefer to be quiet about it.

Okieeee that's about all =3 let's get along with the thing~

Hello hello! Welcome to my introduction post =]

It has seem that you have stumbled across my profile! Good job, =D

I'll get on with the intro, my name is Purp! Call me Purp! Don't try and confuse me with my oc called Purp hehe-

I am a Muslim that currently lives in a hot ass place called Malaysia 🇲🇾

My fav color is Purple is you can't tell 👁👄👁

I am artist, animator and overall, just a chill person who wants to make content that people would enjoy =3

I sometimes draw lore, and also stuff with blood! But not that often =]

Here's my sona ^^

I will mostly do SMG4 content but I'll try do other content for fandoms I'm also in!

Such as...

Among Us

Murder Drones

The Amazing Digital Circus

And etc =D

I have also written a couple of stories, like my book in Wattpad called "Purp's backstory"

Do go check it out! It delves into the story of my oc Purp's traumatizing past... That's fun =]

I have created a couple of aus such as...

The Seven Gods AU [ Among Us ]

The Unknown AU [ Among Us ]

Lost AU [ SMG4 ]

Brainwashed AU [ SMG4 ]

Circus Showman AU [ SMG4 ]

The Brainwashed AU is probably the most known here!

I tend to be on the neutral side of things like stating my opinions and mostly staying away from controversial topics.

I love drawing my fav artists! You can see them in follow section =]

Please do not share anything negative here! I want it all to be good.

Please do not speak anything negative about my own opinions, I am extremely sensitive and I get overwhelmed easily.

I have school! So I will not be as active from Monday to Friday.

I will go absolutely BONKERS if someone makes fanart. Please do please do please- /jk

OCS that belong to me will sometimes have a hashtag for themselves! Here's some.

Purp : #Purp's Purp

GSP : #SMG4 GSP

Here's are my socials! If you see a version of me, or any form of copy on any other social media, that ain't me.

Twitter : @Purp_IsSus

YouTube : @PurpIsSus

Amino : @PurpIsSus

Reddit : u/Purp_1456

Wattpad : @PurpIsSus

I do have Discord but thats private =]

I have a couple of tags that you can explore for specific stuff =3

For brainwashed au content, it's this hashtag =]

#SMG4BrainwashedAU

For asks specifically at the au, it's this one =3

#SMG4BrainwashedAUasks

For all asks that I've answered, look at this hashtag kayyyyyyy?

#Purps silly questions =]

For characters that are related to the au/have been featured/shown, this is the hashtag

#Brainwashedau!smg4

#Brainwashedau!smg3

#Brainwashedau!MrPuzzles

Anddddddddddddd that's about it for now. If you want to ask any questions, feel free to go and ask me on my ask box =D

And with that, I'm out =3

While you're on that, have some art heheheheheheheheheheheh

[rallamajoop]

Hi!!! okay so i love your theory crafting abt re8 & the free cam pics and analyzing everything so i thought maybe you would find this interesting (and maybe a little reassuring)

i dont think heisenberg has nazi affiliation, despite some of the nazi military equipment we see him with. and i dont think its mentioned anywhere in the game, but rather implied, that karl scavenged that stuff from a battlefield? for example, the tank used in his boss fight is a combination of a nazi gun tractor, combined with an american tank. the two guns mounted on it are also a german recoilless rifle and an american machine gun.

personally, i think his dogtag is probably his dads, but thats just a headcanon based on what little we know of the early concept designs and stuff (originally the giant metal and meat monster was heisenbergs dad. and to me heisenberg probably wouldve outright mentioned being a soldier or something in at least a diary entry or note if he was old enough during ww2 to remember it) it could also just be more stuff he scavenged. which is what i think is the deal

Hoo boy, you're really going to make me do a deep dive into all the evidence that Heisenberg might've been a Nazi, aren't you? (For context for anyone coming in cold, this is a response to my post on the fact Heisenberg's costume includes a very distinctive Nazi signal lamp, and why that bothers me.) Goddamnit. Fine.

So, first up, for a character we get as little background on as Heisenberg, there's no point framing this one "was he a Nazi?" Of course he wasn't, he's not anything, because he's not real. What we can ask is whether what made it into the game suggests that he was maybe going to be a Nazi at some point in development (or at least, that someone on the design team was uncomfortably into Nazi paraphernalia). And the answer to that one is, unfortunately, that it seems very plausible.

To be clear, there's nothing here you can't easily find other explanations for, at least for your own headcanons. "Heisenberg was a Nazi" is no more valid an interpretation than any other, based on what made it into the text. What annoys me is that it's arguably no less valid than any other take either. I do not like Schrodinger's Nazis popping up unexpectedly in my escapist fiction. And I hate to say it, but the more I've thought about the points you make here, the more Nazi shit I keep finding ‒ well beyond what I covered in that last post.

Let's start by going back to the dog tag. The inevitable problem is that the act of wearing one after the war ‒ regardless of whose it was or what country they fought for ‒ is that it kind of loudly signals pride in your military service. The tag may not be from WWII. It may not even be German. But Heisenberg is a character with a German name, who names his creations in German, and who's lived in the village under Miranda's thumb for decades. Statistically, most Germans who ever carried a dog tag that looked like that probably fought in WWII. And he carries that fecking Wehrmacht signal light to go with it. At that point, trying to argue that "maybe he just scavenged the signal light" or "maybe it was his Dad who was so proud of his Nazi service that he passed his dog tag on to his son to remember him by" starts to feel a lot like someone's protesting too much. You don't have to interpret Heisenberg as a proud Nazi soldier, but the costuming clues don't look great.

i dont think its mentioned anywhere in the game, but rather implied, that karl scavenged that stuff from a battlefield? for example, the tank used in his boss fight is a combination of a nazi gun tractor, combined with an american tank. the two guns mounted on it are also a german recoilless rifle and an american machine gun.

Uh, look, do you have a source for any of this beyond "someone wrote it in the wiki"? Because anyone can add anything to the wiki, that doesn't mean it's more than some military nerd's headcanon. Even if part of the vehicle looks like an actual American tank, all that means is that someone working on the game used one as a reference, maybe.

Meanwhile, the one genuinely plot-critical thing we're told about that tank is that it's made of metal-polymer composites, strongly implying that all the components were custom-made in the same place. The idea it's tacked together from salvaged components just doesn't hold water.

So how would Heisenberg have made those parts? Simple: his factory used to make tanks.

I'm sure it's possible to miss the half-dozen partially-wrecked tanks in the front yard outside the building ‒ there's a bunch of other scrap metal out there too, they kind of blend in. But when you've spent as much time as I have digging through the game files, it's much harder to miss how many files relating to the factory are explicitly labeled 'tankfactory' (...at least when they're not labeled 'geek'). There's even an asset for a pile of tank cannons. I don't know if or where that particular asset actually appears in the game, but no-one has that many tank parts lying in a pile unless they're building the things. Heisenberg's obviously re-purposed the factory for soldats now, but it plainly used to make tanks.

i think he scavenged that stuff bc of germany invading romania during ww2

I really hate to keep jumping on you here, but you can easily google this stuff. I am no-one's expert on the history of Romania in WWII, but even a cursory read up on the subject tells me that a fascist political party took power in Romania in 1940, and voluntarily allied with the Germans. Romania was itself an Axis power. How they were actually treated by their new 'allies' looks like it might be a thornier subject, but goddamn it I do not have time to fall down yet another research rabbit hole right now (my apologies on that front to any actual Romanians, god knows there is a lot of WWII history that us Westerners do not get taught about in school).

But now that I've had to look that up, I can pretty confidently state that if Heisenberg's factory was functioning during the war, it would have been manufacturing tanks for the Nazis. And if Germany did set up a tank factory in Romania, it's not implausible they'd have assigned a German to take charge (say, a former soldier who excelled on the battlefield, and is proud enough to keep wearing his dog tag?), so that all adds up uncomfortably well.

If anything, the more ambiguous part is whether the game is even set in Romania. Most people assume that was the intent, but the only location we're ever given is 'a county in Eastern Europe'. God knows if anyone at Capcom ever bothered to google Romania's involvement in WWII either, so I can't speak to their intent. But "maybe the German wearing the WWII era dog tag and the Nazi signal lamp wasn't personally responsible for manufacturing tanks for the Nazis with the tank factory in Nazi territory that he apparently lived in" is not an argument I'm prepared to build my house on. Let's at least allow that it does not look good. It'd hardly be the first time a piece of Japanese media has stuck its foot in its mouth over Nazi shit either.

to me heisenberg probably wouldve outright mentioned being a soldier or something in at least a diary entry or note if he was old enough during ww2 to remember it

Earnestly, why? Heisenberg's diary tells us nothing about his background whatsoever. We don't know what country he was born, how long he's lived in the village, how he became one of Miranda's experiments, how many decades he's been part of her family ‒ anything. Why would military service rank a special mention, when even clarifying whether he's a village native doesn't?

And again, it isn't hard to come up with theories where Heisenberg isn't a Nazi. Maybe he was a deserter, who still carries that dog tag because 'Karl Heisenberg' is really just a sham name Miranda gave him to match one of those four founding houses, and that tag is the only proof he's got left of his real name. Or maybe it's the only thing he's got left with his Dad's name on it, even though his Dad always said the war was bullshit, sure. Maybe the factory really was run by Nazis who left shit like that signal lamp lying around (to be repurposed into a handy electronics case like I suggested in that last post), and Heisenberg only moved into it more recently, because at least he speaks enough German to read all the shit they left around the place. Or maybe he only moved in because he found out someone was using it to build that polymer composite tank to kill him (why remains a much bigger dangling question than how), after which he figured he should probably stick around to make sure no-one else tried the same thing. These are all perfectly valid interpretations, and no-one is wrong for preferring them to having to deal with all that Nazi bullshit (though most still depend on some awkward German-nationality-coincidences). The fact that Heisenberg runs a tank factory and carries Nazi paraphernalia is really easy to miss, and no-one's less of a fan for not spotting it.

What little we do know is that Heisenberg's family got rewritten repeatedly during development. He was a twin at one point, his mother may have been used for experiments, his father was variously Sturm, Heisenberg's monster form, the village mayor, and maybe even Urias ‒ it's all over the place (all this comes from notes on the concept art that comes with the game, if anyone wants to fact-check me on it). Heisenberg probably wasn't originally meant to be Ethan's pseudo-ally either ‒ it's Ada rather than Heisenberg who gives him the chance to escape his trial in that early storyboard. Fuck, maybe at some point he (or his dad) really was going to be a goddamn Nazi mad scientist who fled to Romania and hid up a mountain somewhere, or whatever (though I can't easily imagine any Nazi scientist would be wearing that dog tag ‒ that's an accessory for the expendable rank-and-file of the military machine).

But possibly (and I'm really just speculating here), as Heisenberg became a more likable, ambiguously-grey character during development, Capcom may have decided it would be a good idea to tone down the Nazi stuff. They just accidentally left in the dog tag, the signal lamp, and the goddamn tank factory in presumably-Nazi territory, and had to quickly deny all Nazi associations when people made the obvious connections. If the official word from Capcom is that Heisenberg isn't a Nazi (or at least, that we aren't intended to read Heisenberg-the-fictional-character as having any Nazi sympathies or affiliations), I should be pretty happy to take that as official.

If you really want textual "evidence" that Heisenberg wasn't a Nazi, the best I can offer is the fact Dimitrescu dismisses him as 'a child', which suggests to me that he's much younger than her, and possibly even younger than her daughters (though I still can't buy he was a child when he first met Dimitrescu or Miranda). We don't actually know how old she or her daughters are, of course (they were in already the castle in 1952, but whether they'd just moved in or whether they'd been there for decades we don't know), but dismissing someone who was old enough to have served in WWII as 'a child' strikes me as a bit of a stretch even for Lady D. But that's not much more than interpretation, and one can easily be a Nazi sympathiser without personally having taken part in the war.

I still love Heisenberg as a character, flaws and all. I'm definitely not going to stop writing about him being his terrible, ridiculous self. I'll gladly go on ignoring all this nazi shit as much as I can get away with. I'm absolutely not here to tell you that RE8 is now #problematic and can only be addressed after adequate hand-wringing. That shit helps no-one.

But back in the real world, where fascism is on the rise again across the globe, and where the internet would have me believe that coded references to shit as vague as the date of Hitler's birthday is apparently a popular cryptofascist dogwhistle or some shit, do I have to waste mental energy on whether it means something serious that there are surprise Nazis popping up in my innocent little zombie-horror-game? Like, if a character isn't a Nazi, is it so damn hard not to include two different bits of Nazi memorabilia directly on their character model? The horrors of capitalism I signed up for; the horrors of People You Never Realised Were Secretly A Nazi is one I could have done without here, kthx.

And the sad fact is, it's really not that easy to just explain away.

[alligatorjesie]

*glances at the raging cunt who keeps posting harassment to this fandom's tags every month or so*

You know the last time I checked you're not a fucking reylo so beats the fuck out of us why you're up in our goddamn shit so often @watchingtheearthrise

Cait Corrain isn't active in this fandom. She's hardly a reylo, and if she's gonna act like that she's not fuckin' welcome here.

I think they may have wrote a few reylo fics a long time ago but they're not a big name writer and the fandom as a whole don't really know who the fuck this person is.

I've seen a few people online mention Cait's book is published reylo fanfiction but I can't find anything from the writer confirming it so we’re all just assuming it started out as a reylo fic.

Looking at it, it seems more like lore olympus fanfiction than reylo but again, until the author says otherwise we’re just assuming.

Cait did however talk a gullible friend into helping her sabotage other people's book reviews and when the lacky she coerced did it wrong because she didn't really explain her dastardly plan very well and the moment she realized how badly the 'friend' fucked up she threw that kid under the bus.

But even that shit is kinda sus because these timestamps don't fucking line up. This conversation looks doctored to a lot of people meaning the only person responsible for being a cunt here is cait and you @watchingtheearthrise.

The friend is mentioned to be a reylo but you can't really put much of the blame on them since they were just doing what their cool(shitty) published writer friend asked them to do, assuming this friend is even real.

Cait didn't get mad she did a bad thing. She got mad she did it poorly and got caught. Which speaks volumes about Cait.

You being here assuming the worst out of this fandom every time someone so much as sneezes without saying 'god bless you' speaks volumes about you @watchingtheearthrise.

Please for the love of fuck would you find a fucking hobby to pour this endless passion into.

You know something really fun that I've spent a lot of mental energy on over the years and has brought me great pride and joy is this Star Wars Episode 9 rewrite comic I've been working on.

Legit!

I got character sheets and new alien designs.

Most of the script is wrote out, I'm currently working on storyboards and page framing.

I'm only as far as I am because I have a life outside the computer and can't dedicate endless hours a pet project but it's got 2 of my favorite things in it:

A narratively cohesive continuation of The Last Jedi-

And furries.

Because fuckit why not it's my fucking comic.

You're welcome to laugh, and I know you will because you're a huge pile of shit, but doing this has been incredibly cathartic.

we live in a world were we have increasingly little control over basic shit in it. Media can feel like it wants to make money more than it cares about the story and character development and if I want media I’ll actually enjoy well goddamnit I guess I’ll make it myself.

I want it to be good. I want the salt of the fact a random furry wrote and created a better Star Wars EP9 to burn. I think thats funny.

I personally didn't like EP9

(Notice how I dislike EP9 but don't go out of my way to harass people who like it @watchingtheearthrise?)

So I decided to just make my own. Instead of being asshole to people in a fandom who do like it.

(Notice what I'm doing there @watchingtheearthrise?)

I don't see you in here when the fandom does nice shit like donating a shit ton of money to Adam Driver's arts for the military foundation.

I didn't see you in here when Thea Guanzon, a southeast asian reylo's published book became a new york times bestseller.

I don't fucking see you pop in when the dedicated members of this fandom post art and stories and celebrate the thing they love.

Don't let a single person who is acting shitty color your entire opinion about a whole ass fandom man. God fucking knows if I took this approach with finnreys I would just assume all of them are huge pieces of shit because nine times out of ten the people posting anti hate to the reylo tag are finnreys.

But since I'm not a complete fucking dumbass Like Some People Here

I'm able to use some common fucking sense and see it's not the finnreys that are shit.

finnreys are fine.

It's just like... 4 unique people with a lot of extra accounts.

real fucking bold to comment on someone making extra accounts to do nefarious things online from someone who already does that.

I’m pretty fucking sure at least 6 of the antis I regularly come across in this tag Are Your Accounts @watchingtheearthrise. You admit to 2 extra ones you’ve used to harass people in this fandom in the past In Your Fucking Bio

( I love hate how you have reylos in your DNI but paradoxically will not stop posting to this fucking fandoms’s tag I swear to Jesus Fucking Chri-)

God fucking bless you @watchingtheearthrise I hope you find someone who helps you learn how to not be such a festering cunt.

I started out this post not even know who the fuck Cait Corrain is. I still don't give a fuck because shit people can go fuck off into oblivion for all the fucks I don't give but since some asshat antis can’t be fucked to do a goddamn second of research I guess much like that ep9 I'm rewriting I’ll just fucking do this too.

Cait's a reylo about as much as you @watchingtheearthrise and you’re both welcome to let the door hit y’all on the ass on the way out.

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[nams2]

Two exclusionists in the qpr tag this week and "qprs are amatonormative" discourse seems to be stepping up again. So fuck it. Im going to stop being acceptable queerplatonic aro and talk about what its actually like.

I am so god damn sick of us being shoved in the corner by the rest of the aro community. Like, first of all, every single time I've looked into aro media, its exclusively representing the nonpartnering experience. If the concept of qprs or anything similar comes up (it so rarely does) its literally just so the aro character can turn to the screen and go "its ok, Im not interested in that!"

But it's ok, theres plenty of characters that could be *interpreted* as a qpr! Its always fucking up to interpretation. Not even aro authors just use the word queerplatonic, no. It always has to be some vauge wishy washy "up to interpretation" shit so everyone else can happily ignore it.

And then the aro community has the fucking gall to act like nonpartnering rep is somehow hard to find? And specifically blame partnering aros for it? Fuck right off.

Oh but dont worry, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Because then you get into the real aros and theyre just as bad. Most aro positivity or affrimation shit specifically and intentionally focuses on living alone or not looking for relationships, as if this is a universal experience among aros. Ive literally seen a recurring trend of other aros saying its *toxic* to want to live with someone, because why aren't you happy living in perpetual isolation? Real aros are happy with it. If your not happy with it, you must be sick.

And oh boy, the fucking casualness of the more overt exclusionism.

I mean, how many times have I seen the "love loses" slogan posted? Its such a common affirmation in the aro community and there is simply no way to see it as anything other than a giant middle finger to us. And it isnt just this one phrase. Thats just one example I can think of off the top of my head.

Almost as much as the overt exclusionists who keep raiding our tags, along with the other tag raiders who come in to tell us "Im very pro qpr, but I think the exclusionists are right. I just wish you wouldn't have them or talk about them, because I think theyre very amatonormative". Theyre not pro qpr. Like seriously, if your another partnering aro, dont listen to these people. Their goal is to push us out of the community, it has always been to push us out.

Honestly there is so much more that I could bring up. Like how we're frequently asked to add disclaimers on our posts reassuring aros that they dont need to have partners (as if 90% of anything about aromantisism isnt already telling them that) even though I never see the opposite disclaimer.

But its ok, for some reason the aro community is also convinced we're more acceptable to the allos! How. I have never once in my life seen an allo say anything indicating that. In fact, aphobes always double down on us, because they see us as potential converts.

Like, really, the allo queer scene has a similar problem. To them, the idea of things like platonic marriage come up as a joke, something that indicates that your a gay person in denial. But thats a whole other post. Dont let it fool you, allos have routinely been less hostile to me in this respect that other aros.

Honestly, the more I'm exposed to aro tumblr, the more I see it as just as much of an enemy as everyone else.

[nicosraf]

i am sorry if this is stupid but lucifer “singing” in the church to god was not him singing right? I genuinely at first understood it as him singing and the first time I thought worship is used in any sexual context is with Michael later once lucifer starts to create sin, im sorry if this is dumb but this has been stuck on my mind trying to understand especially because i wont lie i went through some mental stuff seeing thats how others perceived it. if this is true i would love to hear (if you are open) then why you chose these sequences of events

Hello! You're not dumb!!! This isn't a stupid question!! It's actually one I've been expecting for a bit now aha, so thank you for having the bravery to ask.

I'm gonna discuss that scene and then get a little broader if that's okay.

CW: discussion of SA, including that in the Bible

It's interesting people have interpreted the cathedral scene that way. A while ago, I said I'm a "dead author" person, so I don't think my convoluted intentions matter. And I still think that! I wouldn't write so metaphorically and vaguely if I weren't okay with interpretations – (not that I look at reviews, but I follow the ABM tag on most social media and sometimes things find me.) So I've seen some people upset by this scene, and it doesn't really bother me (until they insist on it and assume my intentions and think badly of me as a person.)

But if you want to know what I intended – no, I didn't write God appearing in the cathedral and sexually assaulting Lucifer. It's Lucifer singing and God telling him to continue. That's what I wrote. But I know the language I used, and I know the parallels I was drawing.

Here's the thing – ABM follows Lucifer struggling to have some sort of autonomy over his body. In the cathedral, he's having it be violated. He wants to stop singing, God won't let him. Is this scene rape? I guess it depends on what your definition of what rape is. I don't want to be philosophical and annoying, but well, I'm serious. To me, the scene is about a will being imposed on Lucifer, about his body being used in a way he doesn't want.

(On that note, worship always had a sexuality to it. This doesn't mean worship was performing sexual favors, (definitely not what I intend to imply), but just that there's always been something sexual about the practice of complete submission and praise. I remember wondering what God derived from being worshipped all day by angels, as the Bible seems to say. Did he get pleasure from it? It almost felt fetishistic to me.)

And God does "actually" assault Lucifer, later. In Eden, the last sentences of Chapter 29. (I'll save the "what does sex even mean in this book" post for another day). A part of me wants to apologize because that's upsetting, but it's supposed to be upsetting. This book is supposed to be upsetting. And I'm not just saying that because it's my trauma dump book haha. Sometimes books are uncomfortable and ugly.

But why would I write something this awful and (allegedly) blasphemous? Maybe I'm trying to say something about authorities in the Church and impressionable young people, maybe I'm trying to say something about Christianity and bodily autonomy, maybe it's about me and conversion therapy. Who cares about my intentions.

But I want to share a Bible story that I discovered a little before I wrote ABM. I was reading Ezekiel 28, this passage a lot of Christians associate with Lucifer, the epigraph of ABM:

Your heart became proud     on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom     because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth;     I made a spectacle of you... Ezekiel 28:17 (NIV)

In Ezekiel 28, God addresses the fallen cherub angel, who had been in Eden, who had been adorned with every precious stone, who had been perfect in beauty and wisdom. He's angry the cherub became proud on account of his beauty.

I started reading the rest of Ezekiel, which I'd done before but never closely. I found Ezekiel 16.

In Ezekiel 16, God tells the story of Jerusalem, who is personified. First, he sees her as an infant, and, in God's own words: "I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked." He comes by her again, later, then decides she's "old enough for love" and clothes her. He adorns her, in jewelry. He says she becomes beautiful. He says, "And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect."

But then, God says, Jerusalem, "you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his." It doesn't say who his is. "You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty."

In punishment, God decides, "I will deliver you into the hands of your lovers, and they will tear down your mounds and destroy your lofty shrines. They will strip you of your clothes and take your fine jewelry and leave you stark naked. They will bring a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with their swords."

(In ABM, God says "Shall I deliver you to the hands of the angels, so that they strip you of your clothes, jewelry, and leave you without flesh? Shall I command a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with swords?”)

In Jeremiah 13, God addresses Jerusalem again. He says, first, "I will weep in secret because of your pride." Then, he gets angry and says: "Because you have forgotten me and trusted in false gods. I will pull up your skirts over your face–"

I remember being really fascinated by this Jerusalem, who God seemed to have groomed, who became proud on account of her beauty, who went on to love someone else, who God decided had to be hurt by everyone, who God eventually assaulted.

[freshvanillapng]

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier, and Ladybug and Cat Noir but only for Adrinette .

OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

omg this is such a good idea, thank you so much! i agree, i remember asks being HUGE on this site years ago but they definitely seem to have dropped away a little bit :( this is an incredibly kind thing to do <3

self: ask away, anything im not comfortable i will just say i guess? (so sorry thats SO vague) work: absolutely but be warned that if you ask about my degrees i will ramble at you fandoms: we have so much in common, ABSOLOUTELY. the only one of this list i no longer engage with is sherlock. ones i am actively engaging with are the hobbit, lord of the rings, tolkien (ships - bagginshield, samfrodo, gigolas, and most popular ones), dragon age (ships - i engage with most here aside from anders/hawke and solas/lavellan. i dont hate them but i dont engage with them out of personal preference. my canon playthroughs are surana/alistair fenris/hawke, lavellan/cullen so i tend to rb more of these). i do the EXACT same with the other fandoms you listed off the top of your head lmao.

only other thing here is that i post A LOT about my dnd campaigns.

ocs, art/drawing, writing: ask me about my dnd characters and i will cry tears of joy. asks about all of these are beautiful

story snippets ideas and prompts: i wouldnt class myself as a writing blog but i do try my hand in it from time to time so these are more than welcome!

pets: yes please! i have a tortoise whom i love dearly

garden and hobbies: yes please!

like being tagged in things: go ahead! any cool art or writings. also quizzes are fun hehe.

this is such a lovely system and thank you for sending! of course i might reply with an ask of my own~

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Thank you for your thorough reply. I mostly sent that message since I personally can see how people would be quick to call the premise of that fic problematic with regards to race. Making an Indigenous man biologically driven to be submissive towards a white woman has negative associations with “taming the savage” type tropes (1/2)

Thanks for reaching out again and meeting me where I am at on this. D/s and race do need to be tackled sensitively, I agree.

In this case from reading the fic I thought that this treatment of the men in submissive position by this particular writer was done as well as one could. The sub-assignment was equally distributed among almost all the main men on the cast (first point) so did not appear linked to race in particular. Chakotays submissiveness was also not tied to his race in text in any way (second point). The fic also gave him agency over whether to pursue a sexually submissive relationship (third point). Regarding Belanna, the fic put all the main women, not just B, in the Dom position (fourth point).

In terms of advice I've followed as a white writer and a beta on how to handle race in fics, especially in smut fics, I always hear two pieces of advice as best practices - (1) wherever possible include characters performing the kink that are white and nonwhite and give them equal treatment, and (2) avoid sexualizing/exotifying/fetishizing racial characteristics. From the three chapters that did get posted, the author was following that advice in terms of writing her D/s world. I cant judge the actual smut scenes of course, these werent ever posted, but in terms of establishing how this fictional sexual mechanic works the author seemed to be doing the best they could to portray this equally in white and non-white characters, and was not fetishizing race (again at least that I noticed).

The tags on this fic were extremely comprehensive in terms of what kinks would be tackled. this is usually a good indicator for me that this is going to be handled sensitively on the kink front. There are not enough kink fics written by people who actually do their research so I was looking forward to seeing if that would pan out in the writing itself.

Belanna is tricky because as you pointed out in your 2nd message, the angry latina point is very valid. Her klingon temper is also referenced a lot in canon and is used as a clumsy method of showing her grappling with her dual-identities and her dealing with anti-klingon sentiments. And so I think it is a struggle for writers to figure out how to write her in character in that regard without being insensitive as canon is bad at it to start. It is a valid criticism to raise but its also helpful to be able to point to some fic or other resource that either does handle the temper well or explains how not to handle it.

Given that Belanna didnt actually appear in person in the three chapters posted, I really dont have a basis for how the author would have handled her character. And I wont get to find out if she would have been sensitive about it now.

All that to say what I took issue with in terms of the negative comments the author described receiving wasnt that she had been accused of racism. it is that she'd been harassed in multiple ways, on multiple fics, even told to kys over a made up sexual mechanic and that this had hurt her enough to just... stop. To stop writing and sharing her kink. to stop writing these characters. And thats... awful. Blocking and Muting or clicking the back button were all choices this anon had. Sharing specific instances where the D/s was racially insensitive was also a choice they had. Instead it sounds like they went on anon, made extremely general accusations about racism, homophobia, and not understanding the characters, and then sent these to a writer they dont know, who doesnt know them, and told that writer the most awful hurtful think you could say. For what purpose? It just reeks of bad actor behavior.

[girlhorse]

shrimp anon from post you commented on: you don’t have to share if you don’t want to, but i was wondering what size tank you keep your shrimps in and if you keep them planted? also good to know they’ve survived depressive episodes as i’m someone also prone to those. also not trying to be weird, but saw your fish keeping tag and saw you found a little guy in a creek and was wondering how he was. because that’s a really cool find. :) again, feel free to ignore this ask if this is weird lol. i was just interested.

the amanos used to live in a 20 gallon planted, but after a significant decline in my mental health i downsized to a 5g and theyre doing well! It's not heavily planted but they don't mind. They're super tough little guys, and they have a lot of personality for shrimp.

Unfortunately that crayfish I found passed, I believe due to stress :( but they are extremely pervasive here and invasive in many states so thats really the only time id recommend taking somethings from the wild

fish keeping is rough imo. there's a big learning curve and a lot of fish species are not forgiving of that, and there's a lot of guilt in having fish die in your care. Tbh my most successful fish have been really hardy ones, like platys or bettas. it should be said that due to inbreeding bettas arent as long lived as they used to be, and usually pass due to health issues beyond the control of the fishkeeper. i took a break from fish after losing some gourami to some sort of virus 😭

through all of that, my shrimp have survived. I've only lost 3 ish because of them escaping the tank, which hasn't happened in a while. They seem to only want to escape if they are housed with a possible predator (ie betta fish)

amanos are my number one recommendation but cherry shrimp are good too!

[romanarose]

Hello there ✨️ love your work 💕 I'm a long time fan 🫶🏼. I've been on tumblr a few years now, but I'd never found the courage to post anything of my own til now. I've been feeling a little optimistic these days, and genuinely excited about posting some of my writing and sharing it with the people out here. Do you have any advice on how to start posting and interacting from scratch? Cause I'm low-key nervous abt it and it seems like my target audience has already formed a solid community I don't know how to get into 🥺

Wow, this might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me wowie!!!!!!

okay let me tell my advice

The numbers don't equal quality. Certain things appeal to people more, like shorter stories, straight up smut, Joel Miller gets way more than when I write Marc. I think one of my best works was my Marc X Jewish!Reader series, Seattle, but it idnt get anywhere really even at the height of moon knight popularity bc people dont read OC's esp ethnic oc's. Put your heart into it and those who enjoy it will enjoy it. I had a William Miller series that averaged like 8-20 notes per chapter but I had a handful of readers I knew adored it and thats what mattered

This site is so much better with interaction. PLEASE DON"T ONLY INTERACT FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING FRIENDS WHO"LL REBLOG!! However, if you dont already, make sure you are reblogging stories and leaving nice words! Me personally, if someone reblogs regularly and leave nice words, espcially things that show they really paid attention, I usually just follow back bc I love friends. Im happy to get to know you!

Yes, it's hard sometimes to break it. It took a few months for me to get into the Oscar Issac writer circles, and then when I started writing Pedro it took a while too but I always reblogged and tried to communicate and I made friends. Isn't it crazy we can just.... become friends with our fav writers? Obvs Im not friends with all my favs but MOST of my favs became my friends <3

It's kinda annoying to me bc Im bad at it but aesthetics help. Title, a picture to catch eyes, summary, warnings, note. Try to make it look nice. Im really had at this LMFAOOOOOO. My lovely friends have made my best looking banners. If you have graphic design skills, use them! i wish i didn't have to but it does help catch readers when you have an interesting headers and everything looks pretty.

Few technicals. Use the readmore option. No one wants to reblog a LOOOOOONG story and clog up the feeds. Use as many correct tags as you can. Tag any triggering content. And I'm the worst at this but proof read. Im bad at proof reading, everyone who reads my work knows spelling, grammar, wrong words are a common issue I have bc Im bad at typing. When I still had word on my laptop I started typing in word and using text to speach to help me catch stuff!

Keep at it! IDK where you know my work, weather moon knight, triple frontier or tlou or whatever but all those fandoms right now are like.... a little less active. So don't be dissapointed if it takes a while. With TLOU, theres SOOOOOOO many amazing writers. With Moon Knight theres just less buzz rn. If you write for lesser known characters like Llewyn Davis or Will Miller, you probs won't reach the notes of established writers in Joel Miller. Just the reality. the point is keep going, find what you like and what gets people excited and go from there

This is the most important. Write what you want. I mean it. I love writing Will Miller because he's my special man <3 even though it's a small fanbase. My series Rooms On Fire, a lot have lost interest bc its a long series. That's okay! I love the series and it makes me happy to write it. I wrote a few Miguel O'Hara stories because, I'm being honest here, I wanted to capitalize on the hype. Guess what? They weren't good. I'm not proud of them. Since then, I write what Im inspired to.

THIS SHOULD BE FUN AND IF AT ANY POINT, IT"S NOT FUN STOP AND FIGURE OUT WHY

feel free to say hi off anon! I'm always happy to get to know new people. If you like Triple Frontier, I have a discord server that is pretty much open to everyone! I'm trying to revive it and you can share your works and meet knew people!

Anon or not, let me know if you have any questions!

[viperbarnes]

I posted 3,442 times in 2022

164 posts created (5%)

3,278 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@targaryenvampireslayer

@glittercake

@ussgallifrey

@jen-with-a-pen

@bubblebuckys

I tagged 493 of my posts in 2022

#bucky barnes x reader - 53 posts

#bucky barnes - 49 posts

#bucky barnes/reader - 49 posts

#bucky barnes x you - 48 posts

#bucky barnes/you - 47 posts

#bucky barnes/yn - 46 posts

#bucky barnes x yn - 46 posts

#tfatws - 28 posts

#comment rb - 18 posts

#marvel - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i haven’t been online properly for a few days so i don’t know what happened but absolutely fuck you if you aren’t holding people to account

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You Are In Love -- Oneshot

[Bucky Barnes x Reader]

Summary:You can hear it in the silence. You can feel it on the way home. You can see it with the lights out, you are in love.

Notes: this is just a widdle something based off of Taylor Swift's 'You Are In Love' which made me cry when I first heard it rip. thank you to @xbuchananbarnes for encouraging me on this one a few months back, and for putting up with me when I left it off with angst in the sneak peek&lt;3

Warnings: allusions to sexy times, mentions of affairs and infidelity, but mostly just pure fluff &lt;3

Words: 3868

See the full post

395 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

#4

The Itch – Masterlist

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: “It seems whatever suppressants HYDRA pumped you with over the years have flushed out of your system at last… you aren’t sick, Sergeant Barnes. You’re an Alpha who hasn’t known an Omega in more than 80 years.”

Warnings: smut smut smut smut smut 18+ PLEASE! also cussing probably, and later the implication of infidelity but sort of not really, (if you have concerns feel free to shoot me an ask and i can explain further!)

A/N: this is just one of two different ABO au's i've been planning for a while teehee, but this is the shorter and more complete one so far! let me know if you'd like to be tagged!

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493 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

#3

The Family -- [Mafia AU, Oneshot]

40's Mob Boss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky returns home from the war and finds himself with a lifetime's worth of mistakes to make up for. You aren't going to make it easy for him, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Warnings: smut! gun violence, ptsd, dad bucky (prepare ur ovaries) language, bucky having been a dick in the past, mentions of crime and such. The reader has a name, but it only comes up every so often so.... i think thats it?

Notes: This is one of my fave oneshots that I wrote for my patreon, so unless ya'll used to follow me there, this is an entirely new piece <3 This was basically an excuse to write Mob Power Couple Bucky x Reader, and also Dad!Bucky <3

Words: 17k!!!!!!!!!!!

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1,071 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

#2

The Itch [1/3]

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: “It seems whatever suppressants HYDRA pumped you with over the years have flushed out of your system at last… you aren’t sick, Sergeant Barnes. You’re an Alpha who hasn’t known an Omega in more than 80 years.”

Warnings: smut smut smut smut smut 18+ PLEASE! also cussing probably, and later the implication of infidelity but sort of not really, (if you have concerns feel free to shoot me an ask and i can explain further!)

A/N: this is just one of two different ABO au’s i’ve been planning for a while teehee, but this is the shorter and more complete one so far! let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

Word Count: 3.6k

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1,552 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

No Strings Attached

Ex!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: “Every time you’ve called me, I’ve come,” Steve says, voice thick with hurt, and you clench your teeth. “Every. Time.”

Warnings: smut! language, hurt, exes to lovers &lt;3

Notes: this is one of my fave oneshots i've ever written tbh. i really love the trope of people breaking up, because of xyz issue, and then the person with xyz issue actively works to resolve or change it, but with no expectation of reuniting, just because they want to be a better person. so ye, that's basically this whole fic lmao

Words: 15,849

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4,373 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fictionkinfessions]

I miss discussing books with Fischl.. debating the major themes and who shouldve been with who and which scenes were well written and which the author rushed just to finish the book. I miss digging out random books on the most obscure topics to prove that the author didnt research thier source material well enough, and Fischl groaning and telling me that it doesnt matter because the inaccuracies made the story fun.

I miss having to explain complicated plots of the books to Bennett. Then having to tell him that no, whatever mystical plot it had isnt actually real, and no Oz talking just like the animals in the book doesnt mean all animals can talk. Ect ect ect.

I miss when Fischl and I got to meet Xingqiu. And we tore into his book like little demons. And he appreciated all the criticism. He even took notes.

I miss him staying in Mond for a few weeks and joining us for a few book discussion sessions.

I miss mom gently shaking me awake in the early morning after falling asleep in the library studying.. I miss having to lecture her about not overworking herself with her permanent injuries. I even miss her laughter as she dismissed how serious it was. I noticed pretty easily when she leaned extra heavy on her cane. She thought I didnt. But Im her son, and what kind of son would I have been if I wasnt as smart as my mother. Adoptive or not.

I.. miss a lot right now. But. Unfortunately? My newly discovered life is an au. One that I've never seen anyone else dabble with. One I created myself from rightful anger over my original timeline.

I wish I could say I was new to this feeling. Of having sourcemates of your loved ones around you who dont even recognize you? Because youre not the version they remember? I suppose thats how kinning obscure/original au's goes though. Nobody ever remembers you properly. Been through it too many times. This one isnt new. But it hurts less at the moment I'll admit that.

Short explanation is I'm Razor. Sure don't sound like him with how Im talking but- Well the new au is a bit stronger than Razor's original timeline, so theres alot less third person talk and more full sentences. I never got lost this time. Parents left me in Varkas care after they died, he passed me off to jean and Kaeya because hes a fucking deadbeat who doesnt understand kids unless he's teaching them to hold weapons, and Lisa adopted me after she returned from Sumeru.

It's a fun timeline so far. definitely a step up from the original. It's nice not wanting to strangle a man over leaving me in the woods for a decade. (Yeah og tl is NOT happy abt that one, Varka. Its all I ever scream abt when Im shifted.) It's nice having a Razor shift that doesnt make me feel braindead or angry (really can hardly think in the normal ones, when I do its about how idiotic Varka was.)

I just wish other people seemed as interested in it as I seem to be. At least my friends don't seem to be responding much when I ramble about the new memories.. I dont think anyone has thought of this au. Almost wish other people would acknowledge what Varka did to canon me so this kinda au would exist a bit more.

Maybe after the festival next patch people will open their eyes a bit more.

Anyway- This went on much longer than I intended, ended up rambling when I just wanted to miss my loved ones hah- Sorry for the long post everyone.

~Razor Minci 🐺📚 (Please leave the last name out of the kin tags mpc, its a timeline specific thing, canon name for proper tagging is just "Razor")

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[randomsevans]

IS IT ALL FAKE ?

A/n I wrote this story before all the new chris drama , it kinda tripped me out how similar my story is to reality , I've been writing this story for weeks , and it's the first story iv written that is nearly finished before being published

I just wanted to say , I no matter what am happy for Chris,

But I'm going to try and avoid speaking about him and lily (not because i dont love them ) because this is an escape from reality , i write and read story to help me and forget the real world , as i hope you do

So I'm going to avoid speaking about chris love life , in order to keep mine and you imagination running free

"What !" Chris's voice boomed throughout the small meeting room

"I know its probably not what you want but it's only for the public eye " chris assistant stated

"Damn right I dont want it, I don't want any of it. You asking me to find a wife "

"Just for the publicity "

"But in the eyes in the law as well ?" He was irritated , annoyed , anger he doesnt think theres a word for what he is feeling right now

"Yes but...."

"But what ? In the time I'm married what about if I meet someone eh "

"Chris theres no other way to say this , we need to find you a wife, it's only of the public what you do in your private life as long as it doesn't come to light is up to you . And if , when the time comes you finally meet someone, it will be the end of the agreement "

"The marriage?"

Chris's assistant nodded

“isnt illegal to lie about a marriage “ Chris said 

“ well .... normally yes , but you aint the only person and you want to the last , in sistuions like this , fake marriage happen all the time in this world and no nothing criminal takes place” 

chris nodded , knowing a couple of couples himself that was fake , useal it was just a fake boyfriend and girlfriend to booste a movie , but he has also heard once or twice about fake marriage  celebrates  have thee reason for why there do this , as long as it wasn't illegal .

The room was silent and Chris was reluctantly coming to terms.

“what about if i dont agree “ he stated

“well ,your fans and very one else wants to see you settled “

“dint you think i want that too , im just waiting for the right person “ Chris soften it was a touchy subject for him 

“ we know , but its only untill that time comes “

“ and what if that times comes and she doesnt want anything to do with me becuase iam married “

“well...”

“and you just ant me to become one of those celbraties that are know for divouces “ he spoke over his assiant 

“ no ... “ she tried to intreuped him

“ or try and use me as a pig back for some upcoming model , singer actress !” his voice raised . his faces was red with anger at the thought of being used in such a way. 

There was silence for a minutes , confirming  Chris thoughts , he just simple nodded his head in annoyance .

“we will find someone who isnt like that okay “ 

“do i at least get a say , “ he gave up , his assiant nodded “well you are gonna have to give me time to speak to my family first “

chris wouldnt agree to anything if his family wouldnt back him up 

“yeah thats fine “ his assiant understands how important his family is to him 

“what about if i dont like them “ he asked , quitely he didnt want to seem like a stuck up actor who is a dick to everyone , because hes not , its just you never know too people could clash , it happens in most real marriages anyway . 

“well you only have to spend as little time as possible with them “ she staed , for some unknown reason Chris didnt like that idea , if he had to have a fake wife , even for a little bit , he will make it his jb to at least know a thing or two about them “ think of it as an acting job , you will only have to go out to premiers with them , a photo randomly now and then of you two out togeather maybe even a lttile social media post thats it “

“untill i find some one “ he askd again , its a statement he couldnt get out his head as well as it was him sort of convincing himself 

“untill you find one “ she agreed 

chris took a deep breath , rubbing his beard , 

“ so you have anyone lined up “ he asked bitterly , he hated how he was acting , but how is there any other way to act when you are getting kinda forced into a marriage ,  to keep your carer and public image a float 

“well we did .. “

“but there all models and actors “ chris finished for her .

“yeah , so will get finding someone else for you “ 

chris sight loud , loking up to the celing he reluctedly nodded 

“ okay “

“great it looks like im about to get a fake wife “

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