#thats the thing. he DOES understand her. he just CANNOT imagine that she would EVER feel the way he does. shes a superhero. he's...mike. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

diorstarr · 2 years ago

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fics without happy endings are so important ‼️ and with a character like Joel who is like you said, doomed by the narrative, it is only soooo fitting that no matter what he does right, he still cannot secure happiness for himself in the way he desires - so important!!! and joel will never be happy. sorry </3 he will do the best he can and will go to absolutely insane lengths to get what he wants and he will always fail.

I’m def seeing Joel seeing reader in a halo of light despite all the guts and gore - and a choir of of angels and gold sparks.

I never say this enough about your writing but I just loveee how effortless it all is. Each sentence transitions into the next so silky smooth and there’s never a delay in between a character’s inner monologue and description of the surroundings. You are so talented. I genuinely wish you’d publish a book akldfjasd

STOPPPPPP I LOVEYOUUU THIS IS THE NICEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO MEEEE. IM ACTUALLY HYPERVENTILATING STOPPPPPPP

the flip from Joel’s understanding and care to this is so perfectly put - joel is a smart man!! and absolutely guided by his emotions in a way that makes him absolutely ruthless. he’s already attached himself to reader and, ofc, wants to see her be safe and healthy but also knows that he can’t be too much of a mother hen bc it won’t lead to the type of relationship he wants.

HONEY???? ASDFAJSDFASODFI HELLO ADLFJA THAT JUST NUKED MY BRAIN - imagine him saying that in his thick texas accent and his gruff voice….oooooo i need him lol

LMFAOOOOO please I laughed - i debated whether i should include this line LMAO but decided it was too funny to leave out and im glad u laughed lollll

but this is still fucked up on so many levels. - tbh i get it!! looking at tlou and the tlou verse thru the experiences we have can be so hard bc ive never had to do things for survival the way they’ve had too but its also like….joel….was this really necessary?? and to him it definitely is. he needs to have a tight reign on reader and her emotions and the way she has to live w him. he sees this constant reminder of your failures as something necessary to remind you that you do need him. what chance do you have without him?

Not in an endorsing way but more in the ‘I’m trying to keep you alive, the least you can do is trust me’ way - yuppppppp. he definitely bounces between that angry ‘don’t you see im doing this for you?’ and the pathetic ‘can’t you see im doing this for you?’ and both are fucking awful lmao but at the same time you can see why he would do that

Joel really is not holding back at all - lollllll he can’t!! also he doesn’t see the point in holding back. its the truth isn’t it? (thats how he would justify it LMAO)

Dior what the actual fuck. WHAT THE FUCK - lol. um. ok. yeah i know i know lolll

watching Joel soak up every little thing reader gives him - the man is touch STARVED

You having this in Joel’s POV is just too good. He downplays the seriousness of his actions, his feelings, his thought processes to such a degree that even as a reader, for a split second, I find myself being like yeah I get it before I catch myself - it was sooo fun writing in his pov and it was also important to me to write it mostly in his pov bc i really really wanted to show just how fucked up he is and how far he’s fallen. and he totallyyyyy always downplays his actions (we see this time and time again) and tbh it was so easy to justify his actions while writing LMAO + i had to remind myself that HE’S A BAD GUY

This scene?? Are you joking? This was incredible. Joel’s defenses, his lack of remorse, him justifying why you don’t say anything. God, you nailed every awful thing about a nice guy right here - eeeeeee this was one of the first scenes i wrote lmao and tbh kinda what inspired this whole thing and what i centered the story around lmaooo (what does that say abt me…go!) but this is hopefully the scene that made u pause and be like….what the fuck is wrong with joel. it is so obvious that reader doesn’t enjoy what’s happening. sure she’s being “pleasured” or maybe even “deriving pleasure” from what’s happened but its against her will! and joel knows this and his justification for all this is sooo. he really is the creepy nice guy here lol

I wanted to do a play by play comment but this fic really took me by the throat and wouldn’t let me go until I finished it. - im selfish for loving that it had u in such a chokehold lollllllll

Because I think that acceptance is far too cruel for even the universe to let go without punishment. - SPEAK ON ITTTTTTTTT. like what did reader do to deserve this?? nothing!! and the fact that joel continues to justify AND downplay his actions and sees readers acceptance of him and the life she now lives as something inevitable and almost owed to him is something so evil fr

The POV switch...magnificent - i almost debated not having her pov!! but there was some info that i did need to get across lol that just didn’t make sense coming from joel pov lol. im glad that u liked it tho! i think her snippets were incredibly important in showing how joel is an unreliable narrator and a bad bad man.

The implication of her knowing how Joel wormed his way into her life through a series of awful events (at least that’s my understanding!! I could be projecting LOOL) - nah she def knows!! but there’s only so much that she can do. and at a certain point he had to have broken thru to her and drilled the message of ‘what can you do without me?’ and that constant reminder of how she failed did more damage than we will ever know i think. esp after what she had to do to her mom, yk?

Dior, this is so fucking incredible. I know I’m repeating myself but really. I’m gonna be thinking about this for weeks. God, what I’d do to read this w fresh eyes again - shut up i love you and im gonna cry.

sullen girl

18+, minors do not interact with my work or my blog. if you follow me w no age in ur bio i will block you

pairing: dark!joel x f!reader a/n: fiona apple said "is that why they call me a sullen girl, sullen girl?" and i was like oh? and ran w it. but im also not rlly sure how i feel about this lol. this is set a few years before the show and ignores a lot of canon (per usual lol) + its set in the boston qz. feedback is greatly appreciated! lemme know if u liked it at all. on ao3 summary: joel stumbles into you by accident. but how can he just let you go? wc: ~4.7k + this fic DOES NOT have a happy ending. below the cut are cw/tw and they include SPOILERS. tags are not exhaustive. please feel free to send me a dm or an ask if you would like more info abt the warnings i've listed. if you don't like DON'T READ.

cw/tw: dubcon/noncon, obsessed!joel, overprotective!joel, dark!joel. he is not a good person here lmfao that cannot be overstated, alternating pov's, m + f masturbation, nonspecific age gap, pet names galore, canon typical violence and gore, manipulation, coercion, stockholm syndrome esque, references to drugs and drug use, references to suicide (nothing super specific), inaccurate wound description and care, and death of reader.

---

The first time Joel sees you, you’re covered in blood and holding a rusty wrench covered with bits of bone and brain.

There are two bodies laying at your feet; a little boy dressed in threadbare pajamas and an old woman, her hair covered in a headscarf printed with flowers. He cannot tell where the flowers end and the blood begins.

You don’t notice him at first, eyes trained on the people on the ground. It’s a perfect opportunity for him to leave. He’s not exactly in the business of saving people.

But ain’t you a pretty, little thing? Even covered in mud and sweat and tears, he can see that you’re lovely. Soft and lush, like sunlight and spring.

So, he takes a step forward. It’s a split second decision, one he finds that he doesn’t regret as he clears his throat. You look up at him, eyes bright with fear. He can’t help but think that you look like an animal being hunted.

You blink at him slowly. Sluggishly. The air is muggy and thick with the rotting scent of summer and the coppery tang of blood.

“Stay away from me!” you shriek, voice high and shrill, arms already shaking with exhaustion. Whatever adrenaline that possessed you earlier seems to be making its way out of your system.

“I’m safe.”

You keep holding the wrench up to his face. He wonders if you’ll run up to him. Try and clobber him in the head with the thick piece of metal in your hands. He would like to see you try.

“My name’s Joel,” he says, taking another step forward, keeping his palms up. “I can help you.”

You let out a little hiccup and drop the wrench. It clatter to the ground, the sound of metal on concrete bites through the air. You sway on your feet before attempting to take a step forward. Your knees are weak and you begin to crumple to the ground. He catches you -- arms wrapped securely around your waist -- before you can fall.

“I got you,” he whispers. “I got you.”

---

He takes you back to his place. Uses the meager amount of soap to clean the blood off your hair, uses the finite amount of hot water to scrub the layers of dirt off your body. Looks over the smooth expanse of skin that’s now on display -- scanning for bites and scratches -- and doesn’t find anything.

For the first time in a long time, things may be looking up.

He wipes you off with a thin, scratchy towel. Rubs ointment on the superficial cuts on your hands. Sits you down on his couch and pushes a bowl of soup in your hands -- thinned out broth with chunks of carrots and potato skins. Throws a blanket over your shoulder and smooths your hair back behind your ears.

You don’t eat and he doesn’t expect you to.

He thinks about giving you one of his pills, maybe you’ll be easier to handle, but he can’t afford to have you get all lethargic and stupid.

The metal spoon he slipped into your hand clatters to the ground and you look at him almost guiltily.

“I’m--shit--I’m sorry--”

“Hey, it’s fine,” he interrupts as you blink up at him in confusion. He feels something bordering a smile split his face in half and he says your name softly. “I bet you’re tired, huh.”

You nod, pulling the blanket tighter across your shoulders. “Yeah,” you mumble as he gets up, grabbing the bowl of soup out of your hands and setting it down on the ground.

He runs his knuckles over the soft curve of your cheek and grips your elbow gently. “Let’s get you to bed then,” he says.

You get up off the couch easily, almost falling into him. He helps you over to the bed and you sink into the thin mattress, letting out a soft sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Joel,” you say, voice barely louder than whisper and he feels his heart swell with something akin to pride. Something that teeters on joy.

---

It’s almost morning when he slides in next to you.

You let out a whine and try to scoot your body away. He smooths his palm over your hip, digging his fingers into your skin.

“Shh,” he says, pressing his face into your neck. You smell like his soap -- antiseptic and foamy -- with something distinctly sweeter underneath.

You squirm for another minute before settling into him. He can hear your heart rattle in your chest.

“Tell me about ‘em,” he rasps.

Maybe they were strangers. Maybe they were more. It would serve him better to know exactly what it was.

Your breath hitches. “I--I don’t--”

He lets his lips skim over the shell of your ear. “You can tell me, honey. It’s ok.”

Affection and empathy is coming back to him a lot easier than he thought.

“My brother and grandma,” you whisper, voice thick with tears. “They got bit, and I--I don’t know how.”

What is he supposed to say to that?

‘M sorry. It was bound to happen. That’s life.

I’m happy you’re here.

Well, maybe not that.

You seem to deflate and you wrap your arms defensively across your chest. “I was supposed to keep them safe and I couldn’t even do that.”

He smooths his palm over the soft skin of your stomach. “Don’t think about that,” he says. “Just go to sleep.”

You don’t answer, breath uneven and scratchy, and that makes him uncomfortable. He’s desperate to appease you, make you happy. But there’s no enemy to fight. No one to smite down to get you on his good side.

“Will you--can I--I don’t have anywhere else to go,” you admit quietly. “And I don’t--”

“You can stay here as long as you need,” he firmly interrupts.

You nod. “Thank you,” you whisper into the pillows underneath you.

He has to bite back a smile. “Sure, sweetheart.”

---

Summer bleeds into fall -- the air turning grey and soft with the smell of snow -- and still, you stay.

Gaining your trust isn’t easy -- you’re a sullen, stubborn thing who likes to fight back -- but once he reminds you of your family, the one you couldn’t save, you become almost elastic in his hands.

He knows that you cry -- your eyes are rimmed red more often than not when he comes home -- but you never let him see you snivel and sob. He knows that you dream -- most nights you wake up screaming and he has to cover your mouth with one of his big palms so you don’t wake up the entire complex -- but you never talk about what’s in them.

He knows that you yearn -- staring out the dusty and cracked window, fingers curled over the rails as you blink almost dreamily at the grimey markets -- but what it is exactly that you want, he’ll never know.

He tries asking -- about the tears, about the dreams, about what you want -- but you just bite your lip and look past him, almost like he isn’t there.

But he knows that you can’t play this game forever. One day you’ll get tired. One day you’ll just give in. One day, you’ll understand that he’s just trying to keep you safe.

---

Joel likes to bring you gifts.

Just small things, really -- a thick, knit blanket that’s a gorgeous chocolate brown. Chipped mugs with cartoon characters painted on the front. DVDs that play old pop music (he sings along to Beyonce and Destiny’s Child when he thinks you aren’t looking).

He expects thank you’s to be given freely and repeatedly and you comply.

“Thank you,” you murmur when he drapes the blanket over your legs.

“Thank you,” you say, squeezing his hands when he hands you the mugs.

“Thank you,” you whisper, leaning into the warm expanse of his body as he slips the DVD into the radio.

One day he brings you shampoo and conditioner -- the good stuff, the stuff that you missed -- you kiss him on your own volition and you swear he stops breathing.

“What’s that for, pretty?” he rasps, pulling you onto his lap.

You wrap your arms around him. “Just saying thanks.”

He squints up at you. “Hmm.”

“You do so much for me,” you say, dropping your head into the crook of his neck, trying to ignore the sharp and comforting scent of his shampoo. “I just want you to know that.”

---

He insists on the two of you having dinner together most nights. It’s a pleasant way to end the day and he likes this uninterrupted time with you.

He knows that you like it too even if you don’t admit it.

But today you’re almost petty and short with your answers. He lets you stew in it -- you’ll end up regretting it anyhow -- and doesn’t say another word.

“So,” you say, breaking the silence. “When do you think I can start going out again?”

Bits of anger and fear swirl deep in his stomach as he watches you push what FEDRA tries to pass off as rice into small piles on your plate.

“Excuse me?”

You bring one shoulder up and avoid looking him in the eye. “I can’t keep living here without working. We need the cards, you know. Things are getting more expensive all the time.”

You keep on talking, something about how you worked before and how you were good at it. How you made things and sold them for a high price on the black market (what do you know about shady deals that happen in alleyways in the middle of the night?)

But he can’t focus on any of that.

You said we.

We need the cards, you know.

“No,” he says. “I won’t have you going back out there. You’re safer here.”

We need the cards.

You frown. “But Joel, that’s not–”

He slams a palm on the table. “No,” he repeats.

We need.

You blink at him, mouth open in shock. He never raises his voice at you. Never brings the bits of violence that have become a part of him into the space he now shares with you. It’s the rules he’s given himself. But he cannot fathom what his life would be like if he lost you.

We.

“Hey,” he says, softening his tone. “Just want to keep you safe, honey.”

You nod, averting your eyes from him. “Ok.”

---

He’s a man with needs.

That’s what he tells himself when starts feeling too guilty. He doesn’t even touch you, not really. But you’re so soft and so warm and so willing that he can’t help himself.

He’s a man with needs. That’s what he whispers in your ear when he pulls down your thin sleep shorts, before sliding his throbbing length onto the smooth skin of your ass. He’ll hear you whimper and feel your hips buck forward, no doubt looking for your own release.

“Joel,” you whine.

“I know, honey. I know,” he says, voice thick with arousal.

He softly bites on your shoulder as he comes, his warm spend dripping down onto your thighs.

Sometimes, when he’s done, he’ll notice that you’re crying. He’ll wipe your tears with his knuckles and press a soft kiss of apology on the corner of your mouth -- never on it -- and lets his come dry on your skin.

Neither of you talk about it. After all, what could you say? He keeps you safe doesn’t he? Keeps you fed, keeps you warm, keeps a roof over your head. What do you have to complain about?

And, as he’ll tell you time and time again. He’s a man with needs, ain't he?

---

He doesn’t know how things get lost in translation. He thought he was crystal clear -- leaving no room for argument.

You don’t go out unless I’m with you. Got that, sweetheart?

Yeah, ok Joel. I won’t, don’t worry.

But now you’re here. In front of him in a crowded area where anyone -- anyone -- can hurt you.

He also wonders how you got out, but that's a question for another time.

With his sights set on you he practically runs over, pushing the idiots that don’t jump out of his way.

His blood feels hot as he watches you unconsciously run your knuckles on the underside of your chin, the delicate spring sun making your hair glow, all shiny and smooth. You throw your head back and laugh, reminding him of sparkling water bursting on his tongue.

Joel thinks he could kill something.

Gravel crunches under his boots, alerting you of his arrival. Your smile drops as he grips your elbow -- so hard he knows you’ll be bruised by tonight -- but he can’t find it in himself to feel bad.

Stupid little girl needs a reminder on how things have to be.

He grits his teeth and lets the anger in him simmer.

“Joel, wait--” you say, trying to pull your arm back.

But he’s too strong, don’t you know that?

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he snarls, pulling you into an empty alleyway.

“Joel--”

He shoves you up against the wall. Your breath leaves you in a short, sharp gasp.

“I ask you for one thing,” he says, voice shaking with anger. “One goddamn thing, and you can’t even do that.”

All you can do is stare at him -- eyes wet and wide -- and flashing with panic as his fingers dig into your arms.

“I ain’t asking for much, sweetheart--” he interjects as much cruelty as he can into his words and watches you wither “--so what the hell do you not understand?”

“Joel,” you gasp. “St-stop, you’re hurting me.”

He does not let his grip loosen. “You think I’m hurting you? What the fuck d’you think will happen to you without me?”

You’re crying now, pathetic little sobs that pierce the air like thorns. He curls his lips and almost snaps his teeth at you.

He shakes you and watches your head snap back and forth like a marionette without its strings.

“What do you think will happen?” he repeats.

“I’ll ge-get hurt,” you stutter and he lets you go, watching you sag into the brick wall.

He brings a palm up, smoothing it over his beard before bringing his head down to look you in the eye.

“That’s right,” he says softly. “And I’m just trying to keep you safe. Can’t you see that?”

You don’t answer him, wrapping your arms around yourself and blinking down at the sidewalk.

He lets out a sigh. “Look at me, honey.”

You sniff and tighten the grip you have on yourself.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he says as snow begins to fall.

The seconds fold into themselves -- uncomfortable and compact -- but he just waits it out. Waits for you to bring your eyes up to meet his.

He cocks his head to the side as you lick your lips.

“I’m sorry, Joel.”

“Sorry for what?”

You shrug, jerky and uncoordinated. “For making you worry.”

He squints down at you. “That it?”

“And for going against the rules.”

“That’s right,” he says. “And the rules are there for a reason, aren't they?"

You nod almost enthusiastically. “Yes.”

“And you gotta follow ‘em?”

You wipe your face. “Yes.”

He leans in and watches you take in a deep breath and hold it.

“Ever gonna do something like this again?”

“No,” you whisper.

He cradles your face in his palm and wishes the two of you could merge.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He swallows thickly, feeling himself go impossibly hard at your compliance. He takes his hand off your face and takes a step back. That’s when he notices that you’re shivering.

“You’re shaking like a leaf,” he frowns.

You give him a jerky nod. “Just wanna go home, Joel,” you say, dragging your heels back through the gravel. “Please.”

“Alright then,” he grumbles, more to himself than to you, and holds his arms out.

But you stay there, back up against the brick wall and arms wrapped tightly around yourself.

He presses his lips together before saying your name.

You shake your head, brushing the snow out of your eyes.

“Home,” you say. “I just want to go home.”

---

He keeps the nauseatingly orange pill bottles on the kitchen counter.

“Valium?” you ask one day, thinking of a worn blue dress and mint tea.

“What?”

You cross your arms over your chest. “It looks like Valium.”

“And how the hell do you know that?”

Quietly, and to his back, you say, “My mom used to take it.”

He turns around with a frown and you flush. Jesus, not like that.

“She was sick,” you rush to explain. “Cancer or something, they never really told us.”

He’s still frowning. “So they gave her this?”

You don’t know what he’s more shocked about; the fact that you’re sharing personal details about your life unprompted or that FEDRA actually gave a damn.

You nod. “This was, like, way in the beginning but she--”

My love, help me put on this dress. Your brother is out with his friend, yes? Good. And your grandmother is getting some sun? It will do her well, you know. Going out.

“--you know, it became too much for her. The pain and all.”

“Right,” he says in that annoyingly flat voice of his.

Will you make me some tea then? And not too much sugar, please.

You shake your head and let out a shaky breath, unable to look him in the eyes.

“You watched her do it?” he finally asks once the silence becomes too much.

Crush them, my love. Put them in the tea and give me a kiss goodbye.

You shrug, ignoring the way your ribs seem to shake with how hard your heart is pounding.

“I mean–” he takes a step closer and you take a step back. It was like watching her sleep, but you don’t want to tell him that. “-- I helped her.”

“Jesus,” he mutters, dragging his palm over his face.

You wonder if he’s worried that you’ll try and do the same thing -- like mother, like daughter, you suppose -- but you cannot have him be any more paranoid or controlling than he already is.

So you throw him off balance -- or try too anyways -- pulling the rug from underneath his feet in the clumsiest way possible.

“I was gonna ask if we could shower today?”

FEDRA has everyone on a strict schedule -- lack of water and all. But Joel is the big, bad man everyone listens to.

He narrows his eyes. “Really?”

“Mmhm,” you say with a nod. “I’m really, really dirty, Joel.”

He smiles -- you’re nothing more than a harmless little girl to him -- and he takes a step forward.

“Sure honey,” he murmurs, pushing your hair out of your face. “Whatever you want.”

You try to smile but you feel it wobble. He presses his calloused fingers onto your cheeks.

“Whatever you want,” he repeats and you close your eyes and nod.

All the man does is lie.

---

One night -- when the sky is soft and blue with the promise of dawn and he’s got his hands all over you -- you finally let out a sound, a whimper as you rut your cunt against the scratchy bed sheets.

And, for once, he pushes his own needs away and flips you on your back.

Your cheeks are flushed with arousal and your forehead is damp with sweat. Your eyes flash with something that can only be described as fear.

“Wanna touch yourself, honey?” he asks, threads of desperation taking root in his words.

You whimper as he presses his palms on the inside of your thighs. He thinks if he takes a bite out of you, you’ll melt in his mouth like something sweet -- sugar, spice and everything nice.

“That what you want?”

You swallow and nod. It’s quick -- blink and you’ll miss it -- but of course he doesn’t. How could he?

Your shorts are rucked around your knees and your cunt is already glistening and swollen.

He trails a hand down your smooth skin to slide his middle and ring finger through your folds. He brings his fingers back, pressing his fingers to his thumb before slowly pulling them apart; showing you the glistening slick that now coats them.

“All that for me?” he asks softly.

“Oh,” you breathe, cheeks darkening with embarrassment. “I’m not--I don’t--” you say, trying to bring your knees together, eyes already sparkling with tears.

Joel wants to see them fall. He wants to poke and prod you until you’re sobbing. Taunt you until you’re stuttering from embarrassment. But he knows he should take it slow. You’re too delicate for the games he wants to play.

“Ah, ah,” he scolds. “C��mon now, sweetheart. You don’t want to make yourself feel good?”

“Joel,” you say, mouth curving around the soft syllables of his name.

He grabs one of your hands that are gripping at the bedsheets, and brings it down to your cunt. He presses your pointer finger onto your clit and watches your hips buck up into the air.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he murmurs as he takes his own hand away.

You touch your cunt softly, and he clicks his teeth. When you finally slip a finger in, the look of pure bliss on your face is enough to make him believe in heaven.

“Jesus,” he rasps. “You’s as pretty as a picture.”

You moan, arching your hips up, and he hears your breath hitch. Knows that if he lays his palm flat on your breastbone he’ll feel your heart beat a million miles a minute.

“That’s it, that right there,” he says.

“Joel,” you sob.

“Yeah? Gonna cum?”

“Yes,” you gasp, rubbing your thumb hard on your clit. “Yes.”

And you do; your pretty little cunt clenching tight around your finger and he groans out your name.

Your blink at him slowly as you come down from your high. He sees you open your mouth to say something before biting your lip.

He tilts his head to the side. “Yeah?” he rasps.

Your request is softer than wind rustling through leaves and it gives him pause.

“Can you kiss me?”

He looks down at you and your breath quickens at his lack of an answer.

“Nevermind,” you whisper. “‘m sorry I asked--”

“Why?”

Your brows furrow in confusion. “Why what?”

“Why do you want me to kiss you?”

You shrug and avert your gaze. “Nevermind,” you repeat, quietly.

“Stop that,” he scolds. “Now why would you think I wouldn’t want to kiss you?”

“I don’t know,” you bite back. “Maybe--” your voice breaks in a childishly insecure way “--maybe you don’t find me pretty.”

He can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “I find you gorgeous, honey.”

Your mouth opens in confusion. “Oh,” you say, blinking quickly.

He smiles -- something soft and slow like the smooth drip of honey -- and lightly flicks your nose with his thumb. “My most gorgeous girl,” he murmurs.

Your eyes -- hazy with pleasure -- light up with his compliment and he dips his head. “Want a kiss?” he asks.

You nod, bringing your hands up, fingers skimming his bearded cheek. “Yes, please,” you whisper.

“What are you gonna do for it?”

You shrug, moving your face to the side so that your nose bumps into his. “Anything,” you breathe. “Anything you want.”

He grins -- you really are sugar, spice and everything nice -- and presses his lips against yours. It’s a chaste kiss -- tasting of toothpaste and sleep -- but he finds it satisfying, soothing the aches that never seem to go away.

“Joel,” you sigh into his mouth.

And he takes it as an admission that you care.

---

He doesn’t think of Texas often -- Boston is too snowy and grey for that -- but sometimes in the summer he thinks about his old life, remembering how the sun turned everything golden and wet. How the air was thick with the smell of roses and bluebells.

Today reminds him of that. The air is heavy. Stagnant and muddy -- in a way that makes his stomach flip -- and perfumed with the promise of something dreadful.

But….it can’t be.

He watched you eat canned peaches for breakfast this morning; licking the sticky sweet syrup off your finger. You even smiled at him, letting him kiss your cheek before he left.

Things have to be ok. He doesn’t know how he’ll survive if they aren’t.

---

It happened quick, so quick, and you think there’s something almost awful about that.

You expected fire and brimstone. Maybe something more heroic and sacrificial -- like a bloody wrench and a twisting mass of clickers -- not dying all alone and scared.

The pain is now a dull throb and all you can really focus on is the laundry basket that’s tipped over; socks and jeans slumped on top of each other and gathering up all the dust that never seems to go away.

You pull in a deep breath and feel your heart rattle in your chest.

What a waste of soap. What a waste of your time.

---

When he opens the door the first thing he sees is the curtains fluttering in the soft summer breeze. Then he sees you -- on the ground -- with shattered glass surrounding you like sprinkles in a birthday cake, and he wonders why the hell you won’t get up.

Then.

He takes in the wood and how it’s slick with your blood -- dark brown and rusty -- and hears your raspy breathing.

He drops his gun and it clatters to the floor. He lurches forward, arms outstretched, ignoring the door that stays wide open behind him.

---

The sounds of bullets being fired was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact it was disconcerting if you didn’t hear it.

But this time it was different. A soldier was yelling -- get the fuck back! right now! -- then there was screaming and crying.

Then.

Someone was sobbing -- not my baby! please, not my baby! -- and you stopped what you were doing. All you could think about was that wrench and the butterfly on the wall and that worn blue dress and cracked linoleum countertops and blood in your mouth.

Then.

The glass shattered, flying every which way, and you dropped the basket of laundry with a resounding, final thud.

---

He crouches down on the ground and pulls your shirt up with shaking hands.

The thin material sticks to your skin and you try to push him off of you. “Joel--”

He swats your hand away. “I got you.”

You’re shaking your head now. Sobbing. “No, I don’t--let me--please--”

“I got you,” he repeats, trying to ignore what you’re asking.

He has to bite his tongue to stop himself from screaming. The wound itself isn’t bad -- the bullet just grazed you, really -- but you’ve lost too much blood for him to do anything.

But he can’t--

It’s not like--

How can he--

---

He’s cradling you now; a hand wrapped around the nape of your neck and the other curled around your waist as he pulls you into his lap.

You let your eyes flutter shut and you breathe in the smoky scent of his skin.

“Joel,” you slur, rubbing your nose over his sternum.

His fingers dig into your skin but he does not say a word.

---

The night is cold and the curtains continue fluttering in the breeze. Shards of glass dig into his skin but his grip on you stays strong.

Your breathing has gone soft and scratchy and he knows it's almost the end.

Someone laughs outside and the sound is carried in by the wind.

You let out a long, low moan, gripping at his shirt and he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.

“I got you,” he says.

He’ll carry you to the afterlife in every lifetime, he vows to himself as you leave his world how you entered -- covered in blood and wisps of despair.

He closes his eyes and stays with until the sun rises once more.

His destiny is doom and demise.

It’s about time he accepted that.

#i loved writing this fic soooo much and if u ever wanna talk more abt it or scream at me for being an evil human being im all ears lol #love you to the moon and back btw #and i would give u my heart #if u even care

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lokiitty · 3 years ago

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https://screenrant.com/loki-show-sylvie-romance-incest-backlash-director-response/ Okay but this is super weird because... For a start she pretty much says the fans interpretation of it as incest isn’t invalid and for a second her own interpretation of it doesn’t really explain why its not incest in her eyes and furthermore it contradicts a lot. We’re told countless times that Loki and Sylvie are “”the same.”” Shes literally a variant of him. I would have been content to NOT see it as incest if they hadn’t made sure to let us know (in easter egg form) that Sylive and Loki share like a genetic origin. She doesn’t come from some way out alternate universe where everything is different. She comes from a sister universe where Loki was born female. She has the same parents as Loki and if her timeline wasn’t pruned she would have the same family.

The only other thing that makes her “different” from Loki is obviously the fact that her upbringing was different after the TVA orphaned her and she had to raise herself. That doesn’t change her origins. She can’t just rename herself and suddenly shes not Loki anymore and changing her first name doesn’t change the fact that she still has the same parents as Loki. Like Id love to see this as not incest too but when you put them both down on paper as the children of Laufey its hard to ignore. Like if her family didn’t get pruned imagine this: Frigga your son is in a relationship with your daughter. Thor your brother is in a relationship with your sister. Lauefy your biological daughter is in a relationship with your biological son. ?????? But this is suppose to be ignored because they’re from a different universe even when the universes only real difference is one is male and the other is female???? There is no obviously drastic difference that indicates a different origin like what is the case with Alligator Loki and maybe even boastful Loki. I mean you could at least argue boastful Loki might have had different parents to Main!Loki or at least ONE different parent. Alligator Loki is a no brainer because hes a completely different species. On top of ALL THIS we were told multiple times in canon that Loki and Sylvie’s relationship was wrong. Sick. Twisted. Demented. Unnatural. Ect. This obviously comes from the characters recognising that Sylvie and Loki are in fact too closely related to be trying to hook up. Though they’re variants of the same person they’re also basically boy-girl twins.

Having different personalities and different goals and upbringings does absolutely nothing to change that. Me and my brother have different personalities, goals and even upbringings in places because he lived with my mum for a portion of his life and I didn’t. But guess what?? We’re still siblings LMAO. Like I’m sorry her explanation is UTTERLY BIZZARE & makes NO SENSE. Get me wrong I don’t think Loki & Sylvie's “”romance”” is sustainable. I wouldn’t think it was even if it was written better. I don’t see it lasting and in fact I kind of think its already ended. But this is still so weird. And the way the canon handled this ““romance”“ was so forced and half hearted.

I seriously cannot get my head around why it was ever there. Like I thought maybe it was another part of the writing team trying to indicate to us that it was wrong but with Kate saying this now I’m just ???? Also don’t like to think Loki would just casually engage in incest / any cest period and before anyone sprouts shit about the Horse Story A) Did not happen in the MCU and B) the whole horse story is born of a specific sort of homo/transphobia that existed in ancient Nordic culture, do some research. But like ??? if they could give me a SOLID understandable reason for why its not BASCIALLY incest I’d eat it up bc IF I HAVE TO HAVE SYLKI as canon ID REALLY love for it to at least not be Incest. Then maybe I could be “”okay”” with it. Id still have my problems with it because theres just a LOT of awkwardness even outside of the too-close-to-siblings for comfort, but it wouldn’t be a completely untouchable relationship. You could imagine it being OKAY if it was written better and not seemingly used to censor Lokis queerness but.

Like really the least they could have done was been like “Sylvie had totally different parents”. Its an AU. Sylvie's parents could have been anyone. Any frost giants could have stood in Lafuey’s place. If its a different universe the royal Jotun family could have been totally different. But no, no one wanted to use their brains for ten seconds and just rushed together this cringe m/f presenting romance with no deeper thought because yawn. Obviously Frost Giant Laufey doesn't have to be your father for a Loki to be a Loki (again see Alligator Loki ) And thats another reason why I’m pissed with this whole series. Because its just sloppy with little thought for anything. Now those of us who arent painfully straight and arent 2012 era fangirls who are just seeing Sylvie as a self-insertion vessel to vicariously live out their wishful fantasies of having Loki fall hopelessly in love with them, have to sit here and bang our heads on the wall bc none of it makes sense and its tragic for both characters and Loki’s actual fanbase. Just.

#loki series #loki fandom #loki show #loki laufeyson #sylvie laufeydottir #anti sylki #loki series discourse #antisylki #can i get an f in the chat FOR EVERYONE

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jeo9n · 4 years ago

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Majesty Pt 10 || JJK

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre : slow burn,angst,fluff,virgin reader,King JK,future smut

Warnings : Jungkook gets a little jealous

Wordcount : 4K

previous | next

"What?!" Was the first thing your mother said, with a shocked look on her face, when you told her about everything that had happen yesterday.

She couldn’t believe that the King would do something like that to you. She couldn’t believe that the man that had sat in her home and promised to care for you just a few weeks prior would do something like this. She just could not believe it. He seemed so nice, he also seemed like he really liked you. "Are you serious? You better not be joking right now, Y/n!"

"Of course I’m not joking, mom! I caught them having sex. I saw it with my own eyes! Why would I be joking about that?" You told her in a annoyed tone. What Jungkook did last night really hurted you, even if you don’t admit it. You thought he liked you, but last night proved that you clearly thought wrong. "He did not even look sorry when I caught them, not even a little bit. He did not even apologize, mom. All he said was, that he needed sex and that I’m a dumb little virgin that doesn’t know anything about." You chuckle ironically at that.

Your mom looks at you with a sad expression on her face. You know she feels sorry for you. She only ever wanted the best for you and now you have a husband that is cheating on you not even a year into your marriage. "Oh dear, I’m so sorry!" She says, putting her arm around your shoulder and rubbing your arm comfortingly. "You guys are married. He should’ve talked to you about it, not sleeping with his ex mistress!"

"I know! I mean, he knew that I’m a virgin from the very beginning, he even said thats why he chose me. So why did he not talk with me about it? maybe we could’ve worked things out. But what did he? He went and slept with that bitch and ruined everything." You sigh. You don’t understand Jungkook. One day he’s being nice to you and then the next day it’s like he’s a whole another person. "I don’t wanna go back to the castle, mom." You tell her, turning your face so you can look at her. "You don’t have to!" She tells you calmly. She would never make you go back to castle, back to him, that’s not what kind of person she was. If you wanted to stay here, then you’re going to stay here.

You were on your way back home later that day. Your mom has asked you to pick up some milk and flour for her, since she wanted to bake a cake and was out those things. So you went and got them for her. You were carelessly waking home, when you saw the King and two bodyguards by his side, standing outside of your house. You really did not want to see him again, not after yesterday. But here he was, standing right in front of you. You were about to turn around and walk away, but Jungkook turned his head in your direction before you got the chance to even move.

"Ah, see who we got here! My wife that I have been looking for all day." He says weirdly calm, as he started approaching you. You grabbed the bag you were holding more tightly, when he got closer. Just seeing his face again made you angry again. You cannot believe he has the audacity to come here, to your home, looking for you. After what he did yesterday night. "Care to explain why you’re here and not at the castle, hm?"

You laugh at that, you actually have to laugh at that. Is he seriously asking you that right now? "Jungkook, are you dumb?" You ask him and he looks at you a little dumbfounded. "I think you already know the answer as to why I’m here! So dont act dumb and stop asking me those stupid questions." You tell him and start walking inside, to get away from him, but he follows you. Of course he would follow you.

When you got inside, you find your mother in the kitchen. She looks at you worriedly, obviously already knowing that Jungkook was waiting for you outside. She had told him that you weren’t home, when he came and looked for you. She told him that he should just leave and that you weren’t going back to castle with him, but he just shook his head, smiled at her and said "oh, she is coming back with me." And walked back outside to wait for you.

You let out a sigh and put down your bag. You knew that Jungkook would notice you being gone and you knew that he would find you. I mean, how could he not? It probably wasn’t hard for him to find you anyway. Jungkook knew that you would go to your mom’s home, where else would you go?

You heard Jungkook walking in right behind you. "Come on, Y/n, I don’t have much time. Just hurry up so we can go home."

"I am not going home with you, Jungkook!" You turn around to look at him. He’s starting to irritate you. "I don’t even know why you came here in the first place. I left for a reason! And that reason is, that we’re done and I’m staying here." Turning around again and getting the your moms stuff out of the back. Grabbing them with a little too much force than necessary.

He chuckles behind you, which irritates you more. "Aw don’t be mad at me." He says, leaning into you so he’s at head level with you. "Let’s go home, Bambi." He whispers into your ear.

You turn your head around so fast at the mention of your nickname, almost bumping your head into Jungkook‘s. "What did you just call me?" You ask him, with wide eyes.

"Wow chill." He tells you, putting up hands in front of him. "What did you just call me, Jungkook?" You ask him again.

He looks at you confused, not understanding your sudden outburst. "I called you by your name!" He explains. But you don’t believe him. You heard something different. "No, that’s not what you said!"

"Uh yes? I said, let’s go home, Y/n. - what’s wrong with you, are you okay?" He ask you, putting his hand on your forehead to check if you were sick.

You roll your eyes at him. "I’m fine!" You say, putting his hand away from you. "I just - I don’t know. I thought I heard something different." Shaking your head. Are you going crazy now? You probably imagined it, Jungkook couldn’t have called you by your nickname, he doesn’t even know your nickname.

"Okay so, if your don’t with that now," Jungkook starts, pointing his head towards the stuff on the counter, interrupting your thoughts. "Then let’s go home, now."

"I think you should just go home with him, darling." Your mom interrupts, making you both turn your heads. Is she forreal? "What? Mom, no!" You quickly say, but she shakes her head. "Y/n, dear, Jungkook obviously won’t leave without you." She says, looking in his direction and he nods, confirming her words. "You’re going to stand here till dawn still saying no. Just make it easier for you and go with him. He’s your husband after all."

Your moms right. You have to go back, even if you don’t want to. You’re married to him and he’s also the King. You should just behave and go back to the castle with him and avoid getting punished.

"Ugh fine!" You say throwing your hands up in the air. You cannot believe you just agreed on going back to the castle. You can see Jungkook grinning from the corner of your eye, obviously happy to he got his way again, like always. You just roll your eyes at that.

You really did not want to go back to the castle, but here you were.

You ignored Jungkook the whole way back to castle. You did not feel like talking to him. Even when he talked to you, you did not answer him.

It hasn’t even been 24/7 hours yet and your already back. You wish you could just turn around and leave again, but you knew you couldn’t. Jungkook would find and bring you back to the castle anyway. So you did not even try. When you got inside you saw Maria and a few of the other maids looking at you with a apologetic and worried look on their faces.

You did not like that all. You did not like that they looked at you like that, like they felt sorry for you, when they knew what he was doing all along.

"Do I have something on my face or why do y’all keep looking at me?" You asked them annoyed. They all quickly looked away and got back to their work. Making you shake your head.

"Don’t be so mean to them, Y/n. They were worried for you!"

"I don’t care." You tell him, walking up the stairs to go to your room. Wanting to get away from everyone. But Jungkook followed you. "What Are you doing?" He asked you when he saw you opening the door to your old room, you stayed in when you first arrived at the castle.

"Well, what does it look like? I’m going into my room." You say, shrugging your shoulders. Turning around again to get into your room, but Jungkook puts his hand on your arm stopping you. "This isn’t your room, Y/n, you know that. Our room is down the hall, you’re at the wrong door, baby."

You cross your arms in front of your chest and squint your eyes at him. "I’m not going back into that room with you, Jungkook!"

He tilts his head and quirks his eyebrow at you. "Why not?" Is he really asking you why?

You shake your head and laugh at him. "Jungkook, do you really think im going back into that room and sleep in same bed with you, you fucked another woman in?" You ask him, already irritated again. "Cause if that’s what you thought, then you thought wrong! I’m not going back into that room!"

Now Jungkook is the one laughing at you and you have to hold yourself back from punishing him in his annoying face. "The bed has obviously been cleaned already!" He says, as if that made anything better. "Now, quit acting like a child and come back to our room with me."

"No!" You shake your head. "Now, if you would excuse me, I would like to go back to my room!" You smile at him, opening the door to your room and quickly closing and locking it after you.

Jungkook stays outside of your room for a while saying that you don’t have to stay in that room and should come back to your shared bedroom and that you would regret it if you stayed in that room, but you ignored him and went to take a bath instead.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

It’s been a few months since the day you got back to castle. Jungkook and you have gotten a little closer again since then, but you still don’t sleep in the same room with him. You still did not forgive Jungkook for cheating on you. He hurted you and that’s not something you just forgive someone, you just try to not think about it as much, but that doesn’t mean you forgot about. Jungkook also hasn’t seen his ex mistress ever since that day you caught them together, which is good you guess. Everything has gotten back to normal again, you eat together, spend the day together (whenever Jungkook is home) you spend time with Leo, spend a lot of time in the library or some day you just stay in your room.

"Y/n, where are you?" You can hear Jungkook yell from a distance. Before he opens the door to the library and finds you. "There you are!" He says with a smile on as he starts walking toward you.

"Here I am." You smile.

"I knew I would find you here." He says, standing behind you and putting his hands on your shoulder. You smile at him at that. "But why are you here reading a book? We’re leaving in 20 minutes to visit the neighborhood Kingdom, shouldn’t you get ready?" He asks and you freeze. You totally forgot about that. Shit.

You quickly close the book you were reading and turn around in your seat. "That is today? Oh my god I totally forgot about that, I’m sorry!" You quickly say, as you get up so you can go and get ready.

Jungkook finds your reaction cute. He’s not mad at you because you forgot about your meeting today, he sometimes forgets stuff too, that’s okay. "It’s okay!" He tells you, as you both walk out of the library. "You should hurry up and get ready tho."

You turn your head and nod. "Okay." You say, quickly walking to your room to get changed.

You changed into a light blue dress and quickly did your hair. You did not want to be late, so you got done as fast as you could. Jungkook was already waiting at the door for you when you got down, he was wearing a beige suit with a few gold details. His black hair was shorter now than it used to be, since he cut it last week. You liked his new hairstyle, it suited him really well.

You arrived at the neighborhood Kingdom faster than you expected, it only took you like 30 minutes to get here. The castle was beautiful, a little smaller than yours but it was still pretty big. It was dark brown much, much different to yours, but you liked it.

One of the chamberlains brought you and Jungkook to the King’s royals office, where he was waiting for you.

You gasped at how beautiful the King was. When doors the office opened and you finally saw him. You dared to say he was even a little more handsome than Jungkook. His light brown hair was pushed back exposing his forehead and his beautiful face, he had lips so plum that you suddenly felt the need to kiss him. He had broad shoulders and was really tall, which you noticed when he got up to greet the both of you.

"Hello, I’m Kim Seokjin, King of Caspian. It’s a pleasure meeting you." He introduced himself to you, kissing the back of your hand.

You look down on your hand he was holding before quickly introducing yourself. "I’m Y/n, his wife." You say while looking at Jungkook to see him with a sour look on his face. "It’s nice meeting you, your highness." You say, as you turn your head around again to look at him. He gives you a beautiful smile, before letting go of your hand to greet Jungkook.

They quickly greet each other and get right to work. You just sit there not understanding a thing, being bored out of your mind. If you were at home you would leave and go hang out with Leo, but you weren’t at home, so you were forced to sit here and listen to stuff you don’t understand.

They finally finished their work later that day. You’re happy to be finally going home, you sat here almost all day, you really wanna go home now. You all get up to say your goodbyes and leave. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" Seokjin asks, when he got up. You and Jungkook quickly look at each other before looking back at Seokjin.

"We can’t - Sure." You both say at the same time. You thought staying for dinner would be nice, since he asked so nicely but Jungkook apparently had other plans. "We would love to stay." You say quickly, when you see the confused look on Seokjins face.

He nods and smiles. "Perfect! Then lets go down to eat." He says, "I’m sure dinner must be done already." He points towards the door, silently asking you to follow him.

When you look over to Jungkook you can see that he’s pissed, his jaw is clenched and his stare is intense. "Why did you do that?" He asks in a whisper. You don’t understand why he’s mad. "I just thought it would be nice to have dinner with him." You shrug. "We’re already here anyway, staying over a little big longer for dinner won’t hurt." You say, but your words just seem to piss him off more.

When you arrive downstairs at dining room, the table is already full of food. It looks so delicious that your stomach crumbles, you had food before you came over but eating again won’t hurt, right?

You all sit down, you and Jungkook sit down next each other while Seokjin sits down on his usual seat. Once you sit down, the maid immediately fill your plates with food. Probably a little more than you can eat, but you don’t mind. You all start eating and you almost moan once the food hits your tastebuds. You thought Maria was a amazing cook, but this food taste just a slight better.

Jungkook and Seokjin have a little small talk while you continue eating. "So when did you guys get married?" Seokjin asks and you look up.

"Just a few months ago." Jungkook answers for you. Seokjin nods before he continues. "So how did you guys meet? Did you meet her at you wife competition?" He asks and you nod.

"Yeah." You tell him. "I thought Jungkook would never choose someone like me, but he did." You smile and look at Jungkook to see him not even smiling a bit. You turn your head again to look at Seokjin again. "But yeah, that’s how we met."

"When are you planning on getting married?" Jungkook asks in return.

Seokjin takes a sip of his wine and smiles. "I don’t know. I would wish to marry someone as beautiful as you." He says while looking at you. "I wish I had found first instead of Jungkook, i would treat you so good."

You chuckle awkwardly at him, while your hair behind your ear. You did not know what do say to that - what Are you even supposed to say to something like that?

Jungkook clenches his fists tightly behind you, which you don’t notice. He cannot believe Seokjin is flirting with his wife right in front of him. He takes a deep breath to try to calm him down.

"Does Jungkook treat you right, Y/n?" He asks you suddenly.

You’re not sure what to say... I mean, he treats you nice (sometimes) "U-Uh yeah - yeah he does." You quickly say and nod your head.

All Seokjin does is smile at that and continues eating.

You left Seokjins Kingdom a little while after finishing dinner. You were glad you left. He kinda started creeping you out towards the end, so you were more than happy to leave.

You went to take a shower when you arrived at home.

Jungkook kept acting weird on your ride home, maybe because he wasn’t happy about staying for dinner? But you don’t understand why he had a problem with that.

You got out the shower and walked back into your room. When you closed the bathroom door behind you, you gasped and almost let go of your towel. Jungkook was sitting on your bed just looking at you. You did not expect him to be here, so seeing him here in your room startled you.

"When did you came in?" You ask him, as you hold you towel around you more tightly.

"Just a few minutes ago." He explains.

"Okay, why are you here."

He shrugs. "I wanted to talk to you, but you were in the shower so I waited." He says, as he looks you up and down.

You can feel his eyes on you which makes you blush. "Oh! Okay. What do you want to talk about?" Biting your lip nervously.

"About earlier - Come sit down." He says, patting the empty seat on the bed next to him. You hesitate for a bit. Your still naked with only your towel around you to hide your body from him, but end up sitting down next to him anyway.

You sit down carefully, while crossing your legs, not wanting to expose anything.

Jungkook turns his body in your direction once you sit down next to him. "Why did you not say anything when Seokjin was flirting with you earlier?" He asks you.

You look at him confused. "W-what do you mean? He wasn’t flirting with me, Jungkook. I think he was trying to be nice?" You say, which sounds more like a question.

"No. He was clearly flirting with you." He explains. "Right in front of me, that fucker flirted with you right in front of me! I wanted to punsh him in his face so bad." He says with a clenched jaw.

You put your hands over his trying to calm him down. "Well, it’s not my fault that he was "flirting with me". You say. "And why are you so mad about it? I’m your wife not his‘, I’ll tell him to fuck off the next time."

Jungkook shakes his head, while taking your hands in his'. "There won’t be a next time! You won’t go back there again, never."

"Alright, then don’t worry about it anymore. It won’t happen again." You tell him, looking down at your hands. You love the way your hands look together, they’re like a perfect fit for each other.

"What do I have to do for you to come and sleep with me in our bed again?" He suddenly asks you, which makes you look up. You weren’t expecting that question. You don’t know when your going back to your shared bedroom. You wanna stay in this room for a little longer.

"I don’t know." You shrug. He looks a little sad at your answer, which you find cute. "You can sleep with me here tonight, if you want?" You ask carefully.

He smiles and immediately nods. "I would love to."

You squeeze his hand and smile. "Okay, just let get dressed real quick." You say, before getting and grabbing your nightgown to go get dressed in the bathroom.

When you come out of the bathroom, Jungkook is already laying in bed waiting for you. You go and lay down next to him and he immediately grabs and hugs you from behind. You smile at that, laying in Jungkook’s arms makes you feel saved and dare you say, loved.

"Im happy we’re sharing a bed again." He says, giving you a kiss on you neck, creating goosebumps all over your body. You turn around in his hold to be face to face with him. "I’m happy too, Jungkook."

He looks at you for a while before he leans in closer, taking in a deep breath, inhaling you scent. "Can I kiss you?" He whispers against your lips and you nod. He leans in and your lips touch for the first time again in months. It feels like your kissing him for the first time all over again. Your tummy tingles and your heart beats faster.

Jungkook deepens the kiss while angling his head, propping his tongue against your lips, asking for a invite. You open your mouth after a while and Jungkook carefully slips his tongue inside, you moan once you feel his tongue against yours. It’s a weird feeling, but you like the feeling it’s giving you. Your body suddenly feels hot, wanting more but before you could do anything, Jungkook already backed away from your lips. You whine at the loss and Jungkook chuckles.

"I know how your feeling, baby. But let’s not rush things, okay?" He says, and you nod, understanding what he means. "Let’s go to sleep. We had a long day." He says.

"Okay" you nod, he’s giving you one last kiss before you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Taglist: @fangirl125reader @min-nicoleee @yzkyzkuniverse @safi4x @zoeshinelove @wearenot7withu @queenmasterxx @dreamer95 @kleritata @hardcarrykookie @bts-junseagull @fareeshaaaa @two-unbeatable-beaters

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minerstatus · 4 years ago

Text

Teyvat’s School for the Gifted

Summary: He's cruel, mean, and sadistic. Lumine cannot fathom why he has the followers he does, but she won't fall into his hands like the rest of them. It was unknown to her at that time how such a stance would cause the biggest uproar the schools ever seen.

This is the silly drama filled high school/college parody AU nobody asked for filled with Lumine not giving a shit and Childe trying to buy his way out of problems.

Ship: Lumine/Childe

Tags: Highschool AU, Enemies to lovers, Slow burn, Jealousy, lots of side ships.

Status: 10/? on Ao3

Chapter 2

She had two options to think about after that ‘encounter’ or whatever you want to call it. Get in line like the rest of the students and eventually ‘hopefully’ her new toy status wears off and she fades into the sea of students. But that would depend on how HE acts after the dinner encounter. And something told Lumine from the way Amber and Barbara reacted to even speaking of the red headed devil he was a force to be reckoned with.

She tossed and turned in the night thinking of different scenarios for the morning.

There were boys like him back home. Maybe not filthy rich, sons of local shop owners, that acted like him. None of them possessed the same air as he did. Being able to part a sea of students just by walking has to be a superpower in itself.

Come to think of it she didn’t even find out where he was from, perhaps she should ask. The more info the better when it comes to defending herself.

She was never one to sit down and take abuse. When she was just in grade school the local boys knew not to mess with her after a few unfortunate incidents. Her mother always told her it was her blonde hair and honey eyes that made her stand out.

It always starts with them testing you. Small things to annoy you, just to see how you react. She would not be able to keep her temper down if that happened. She already had an issue with her mouth as it is.

She turned one final time in the plush bed she had been provided with. The school had made sure even the scholarship students were treated above average. It was impressive, but did little to dampen her jitters.

First day, which means new people and new teachers. Lumine was walked by Amber and Barbara to the faculty building. Razor was found sitting on a bench halfway there. It brought a smile to her face.

Razor had never left Amber’s side the entire night they sat talking. It was girl gossip that Lumine was never into, but enjoyed now that she had some people to actually talk to. Not many people are willing to come to a run-down farm for a sleepover back home. Razor himself didn’t talk much, but Lumine was observant. He sat on her bed and watched her, every action, smile, glance. Lumine was quite interested in understanding what Ambers reservations about him were. She seemed to like him from her perspective.

More questions for later.

A plump woman greeted her at the front desk. She was cheerful, but not like Mrs. Lee was, instead giving off warm motherly tones. Lumine could imagine her doting on all the students she came in contact with.

“Here you are dear.” She handed her a slip of paper with her classes.

“Thanks,” Lumine said quietly as she read the sheet. Alchemy, ancient runes, adventuring 101, history, then finally vision training. She internally laughed at the last class, perhaps they were going to rename it. She pulled on the collar of her school issued cardigan as it threatened to slide off one shoulder.

“Just head out to the academics building Mrs. Lee showed you yesterday and a student will be waiting to guide you to your classes,” The woman told her. Lumine nodded and gave back a genuine smile before turning to leave.

It was easy to pick out the student waiting for her in front of the buildings doors despite the crowds entering and exiting. It was a green haired girl nervously fisting her skirt between fidgeting with her glasses. Two small animal ears poked out from under her main of messy hair. She wore her skirt long, unlike the rest of the student body (and Lumine herself), and covered up with a baggy school issued cardigan like Lumine’s.

“Are you the one waiting for the new girl?” Lumine asked. The girl snapped out of a nervous trance and a blush covered her features.

“Ah! Y-yes,” She stuttered before taking a breath, “Sorry I get nervous easily, my names Sucrose,” she extended a hand.

“Thats a pretty name, I like it,” Lumine said as she returned the handshake. She hoped it might calm her down but Sucrose turned scarlet instead.

“I-I'll walk you to your class,” She mumbled and walked inside. Lumine followed silently, deciding the best course of action was to not embarrass her further.

She led her to a decently sized class of students with a portly teacher standing in the front. He wore robes and a ridiculously oversized wizards' hat. The site was an oddity in Lumines eyes, having only ever had exceptionally plain teachers back home. Sucrose left Lumine at the front of the class as she shuffled over to the teacher, managing to get his attention with a simple clearing of her throat. Lumine decided to inspect the chalk board instead of the students. She didn’t want to know if the red headed asshole was in here yet.

“Ah yes Lumine!” The teacher bellowed and waved her over. She stepped lightly up onto his raised platform as sucrose scurried to her seat in the front row. “My name is professor Rasmodius, take a seat next to Zhongli back there,” He pointed off into the right of the room. Lumines stomach sank at the mention of a familiar name. She dragged herself to the back of the class and slid into the empty stool next to him.

They made eye contact and she swore she could see the gears turning in his mind before he spoke.

“He’s not in this class,” He said in monotone.

Lumine choked on her own spit, “w-what?” she asked him.

“He’s not here, if that is what you are worried about,” He smiled down at her sweetly. Lumine felt her face heat up.

“I don’t care if he's here or not,” She quickly recovered and crossed her arms.

“Hm,” He put a hand on his chin, “You had the same gaze as most other new females.”

“Yes, well sorry for being nervous.”

“Perhaps I have made a wrong assumption, I apologize,” He turned his body to her, “Zhongli of the Wangsheng funeral parlor.”

Lumine fumbled a bit at his words. Was it normal to greet someone with your name and what company you hail from? She eyed him wearily for a moment then decided to screw it. Not like they wouldn’t find out if she lies.

“Lumine of a very poor farm outside of Mondstadt.”

He chuckled in a low deep tone. Lumine felt her façade falling as her heart sped up.

“Sorry, perhaps too formal?” He asked.

“You talk like you are speaking to a business partner,” she told him honestly.

“Ive been told that before, even by my friends,” He admitted. For the first time Lumine’s lips quirked into a teasing smile.

“Alright class today we will be looking into the mythical potions of Esteria! page 103!” The teacher commanded. The room filled with the sounds of turning pages.

“I didn’t get a book?” Lumine questioned.

“You will more than likely get them at some point today,” Zhongli told her as he slid his book over between them, “here share mine.”

“Thanks,” She mumbled, dipping behind her hair to hide her blush. Perhaps her friends were right, most of the group wasn’t that bad.

Okay maybe they were wrong, at least two out of the four were very very bad. She had not seen the infamous Childe today, but after alchemy Zhongli was very kind to walk her to the next class. Relieving a very thankful, yet worried, sucrose from her job.

They talked about small things, mostly how the school was going, what she thought of it, what kind of things she did back in Mondstadt. To her surprise Zhongli seemed genuinely interested in the day to day life of a poor person. He was awkwardly polite with everything, but had a sincerity to him that he wore on his sleeve.

There was just one sneaking suspicion she had regarding the man. How on earth does a funeral parlor have enough money to send their son to this school AND be the top of the food chain. Surely these boys were flooded with money otherwise the attention wouldn’t be as drastic. There were even glares tossed her way as they walked to the next class.

It was nice to have the attention, he had a smooth deep voice that sent her insides into a flurry. That was until they came upon Xiao. The boy was shorter than his tall geo counterpart and crossed his arms at their arrival. He glared at her as Zhongli added another sentence to their conversation. The words fell on deaf ears as Lumine tried to fight back a snarky remark. She had done nothing to earn this glare from him and it was irking her.

“Keep glaring like that and your face will freeze that way,” She blurted out.

“What?” He hissed at her.

“Ah,” Lumine back tracked, she didn’t mean to speak her thoughts like that, “you just look awfully peeved is all,” she decided on. He narrowed his eyes at her.

Day one, mouth already got her in trouble, nice.

They had a standoff for a few moments before Xiao conceded with a huff and turned into the room.

“Don't worry about him, he's weary of newcomers,” Zhongli said from besides her. She looked up to him for reassurance and was once again met with an honest gaze and smile.

“I-” She began to say and stopped to think about it, “I trust you.”

Even if he was lieing, what harm would come of it? She loses a friend she never even had?

Ancient runes was a snooze fest as expected. She sat next to an incredibly ordinary looking girl who should have hissed like a cat when Lumine sat down. It would have made the look she gave her less comical.

But things perked up in Adventuring 101. The class was useless to someone like her. It was basically preaching about basic safety the entire time. Don’t touch pryo slimes, they hurt. Don’t go off fighting electro monsters in the rain, that also hurts. Always have food rations and medical potions on you!

Blah.

She didn’t need this info, but it was a required class. Get a taste of everything before heading off to the college and decide what classifications you want. Stupid rules some adult made to torture the youngins.

It was fifteen minutes into the class. There was a saving grace, she had a seat next to Zhongli. He shared his book with her again and was polite and overly cordial as always. She assumed the class was full with everyone in attendance. There were a few empty desks but students could be sick or the class could have fewer students than desks.

Then HE walked in, opening the door without a care in the world, loudly. There was this beaming, disgustingly fake, smile plastered to him. A girl followed him inside, checking her makeup on a small compact mirror. They seated themselves in the empty spots adjacent to herself and Zhongli.

The teacher scolded him as he walked, but he ignored it with a shrug. His entire demeanor made her want to mop the floor with his pretty face. Just like the boys back home. She made a point to keep her eyes forwards or at the text in front of her. Not wanting to give him any ideas. There was a cold chill crawling up her spine again, he was staring.

The class continued onwards. The teacher quickly dropped the subject of publicly shaming Childe for walking in to class late. They were moving on to something at least slightly interesting she didn’t know too much about. How to read the stars and sun for location and time. It was something she never needed as she stayed close to home.

It was useful to her so she took out her notepad and began to scribble down some text out of the book as she teacher lectured. She made it a few words in before the girl next to Childe giggled in that high pitch way girls do when they are trying to impress a man.

She dared a side glance over to the table and noticed the girl enamored by him. Getting a full view of the back of her head as Childe whispered sweet nothings to her. He sensed her gaze and looked up, making eye contact. She went back to her work before the girl could turn, clearing her throat.

He was testing her; she could feel it. Between yesterday's stare down and this there was no mistaking it.

“Something wrong?” Zhongli asked her in a low whisper.

“Just a little difficult to get work done with so many distractions,” She growled.

“You will grow accustom soon,” He told her. She laughed quietly at his choice of words. Someone needed to remind him he was still a teenager.

The entire period passed with flirtatious whispers and laughs flying.

And not, one. God. Damn. Time, did the teacher say anything to the two culprits. Although something told her Childe was the true mastermind behind the distraction. She tried her best, she really did, but Lumine was never great at keeping her temper in control. Not when it came to completely asinine males making a side show out of a class.

Her pencil lead snapped on her paper.

“Shit,” she whispered.

“It seems you have snapped your lead,” Zhongli murmured. She refrained from calling him captain obvious. There was a chuckle to her right, this time clearly mocking and directed at her, she herself snapped. She turned and with pin point accuracy threw the pencil at her tormentor. The eraser bounced off his forehead, sending the object into an unknown destination in the room.

The smile fell from his features and they traded deadly glares. The girl sitting with him was busying herself cooing over him asking what's wrong. Oblivious to the events that just unfolded. Zhongli of all people fucking laughed.

She turned her glare into a smug grin reading ‘what are you gunna do about it? now shut the hell up’ and turned back to her work. She leaned back and crossed her arms.

“Well played young lady,” Zhongli whispered to her.

The option of fading into the background had vanished.

#chilumi #genshin impact #genshin childe #genshin lumine #genshin fanfic #childe #Lumine #genshin impact fanfiction

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heyjude19-writing · 4 years ago

Note

Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:

1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco

2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*

3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.

4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!

5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.

6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.

7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you

7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!

Now to some questions

A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?

B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process

C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way

D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?

Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?

Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.

Ok rant done. :D

List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!

1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)

2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.

3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.

4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???

5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.

6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.

7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.

Now to some answers:

A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!

B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”

C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”

D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.

I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.

The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”

If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.

Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.

You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.

Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!

#remain nameless #dramione #list anon #asked and answered

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smallestclowninthecircus · 4 years ago

Text

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

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luthien-t · 4 years ago

Text

Resurfaced Memories. chapter one.

Loki x Female reader

warning: swearing, use of tobacco, angst slightly

Summary: Being the goddess of Victory, Sigyn. You Devoted your eternal love to Loki, but ever since his reveal of being the Jotun, Odin decides to separate you both to prevent all chances of him seizing the throne. Casted -More like banished- to Midgard with no memories of your previous life, you believe you are the same as the ones around you, the midgardians. You gave yourself the name Y/n. With plenty of help and guidance you finally have a life, what will it be of Loki when he finds you during his trips with his brother?

word count: 1.6K+

(Im going to pretend that Thanos NEVER happened, so loki 2012 never happened -the avenger did happen tho, just not bc of loki- loki is on good terms with them, him and thor come visit every once and a while, thank u thank u)

A/N: Tell me what you think! Send me a message if you want to be in the taglist and thank youu! Happy readingg

1945, New York.

You are walking, where? You don’t know, you don’t recognise half of the things you pass. People are dressed differently than you, looking down at your gown, it was muddy and damaged, your hair was out of place and your bare feet cannot handle any more of the wet mud you’ve been walking on, it was raining, heavy. You find a house with the lights turned on and walked towards it. Your mind was spiralling with thoughts, unsure of what happened or where you’ve been before, you knock on the door once, tears start to dwell in your eyes, you can’t deny how terrified and confused you are. Knocking again on the door, you were greeted by a woman, a shotgun in her hand earning a gasp from you.

“Who are you and what are you doing on my porch?!” She had the gun aimed directly towards you, as soon as she noticed your tears she put down the gun, scanning you from head to toe, a frown appearing on her face as she noticed the ripped and muddied clothes before pulling you in and looking around outside the house, trying to find any sign of danger. You stood behind her, mouth dry, your brain can’t even comprehend the situation you are in, you are trying so hard to remember but all you get is headache.

“Darling, are you safe?” She locked the door before turning to look at you, concern visible in her face and you only shrug, words won’t come out, almost like you have forgotten how to think or use them. She walked to the living room behind you, telling you to follow her as she grabbed a blanket to wrap around you. “What is your name?” She asks, quietly. You look up at her, trying to remember, your eyes moving around and closing them as if you will remember, but nothing comes to mind. Growing frustrated a sob escapes and your body shakes, she frowns and sits down on the couch in front of you. “Have a seat, sweet heart.” She said in a soothing voice, you sit down and violently wipe your tears before looking down at your hands resting on your knees.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you.” You hear yourself say, although it came out through your gasps and broken sobs. She shook her head and leaned forward. “Nonsense, as long as you’re here, you are safe. No one is going to hurt you” She rested a hand on your knee, leaning her head down to look at your face.

But that is the thing, you don’t even know if there is anyone or or anything, you can’t remember where you were or how you got here, your eyes locked to the woman in front of you and you nod. “I don’t remember anything” Thats the only thing you are sure of, you don’t remember.

“Parents? Family? Friends? Anyone I can call?” She asks slowly and you shake your head. “I don’t remember anything, I swear.” Your body begins to shake again and she tightens the blanket around you, trying to give you some form of security. “That’s alright, we will figure this out.” She smiles softly. “I’m Linda, Linda Johnson.” She sits back and watches you, unsure of how to handle your situation. You nod. “I’m-“ You want to say, want to know your name, but your mind won’t cooperate with you whatsoever, your tears appearing again and you sigh. “I don’t know.” You say and look up at her, a frown printed on your face.

She was wearing a plain white shirt and jeans, her hair was orange and she appeared to be younger than you could imagine. She tried to have a conversation with you, talking about her past in simple details, she used to work with the Armed forces. “You don’t look like you live here.”she said then told you that you are currently in New York in the united states, she is about 28 years old, lives alone ever since she left her job. You wanted to interact with her and tell about yourself but your mind won’t budge one bit.

“I will send papers about you, maybe a family or a friend will recognise you and call. We will check up with a doctor tomorrow to see if there is any thing they can do” She reassured you, all you can simply do is nod and thank her.

1947, New York.

It has been two years since you found yourself in New York, you’ve gotten used to the way things work around here. Living with Linda was making everything easier for you, everyday you learnt something new from her. A couple of months into your first interaction, she decided to give you a name.

“You’re not going to be cramped up in this house all day long, you can help me and I can help you,” She started, “It has been 3 months since I put the posters up about you, but we have to see every outcome.” She was starting to worry, she wondered if you even had a family around here. “How does y/n sound?” She said and you smiled wide at her. “I love it” You say and repeat the name, it was simple and easy to remember.

After a year or so, you started to have a life here, you also learnt the reason why Linda left her job, she talked about how a scientist named Abraham Erskine tested a chemical on her, she felt unsafe and had to leave.

“There was no effect, I didn’t feel a thing, he called it the super-soldier serum, I was there to help when he first started working on it. Which is why he tested on me, when nothing happened to me he realised that the serum needed more development, but I couldn’t risk my life for some bullshitted serum” She says as she lights her cigarette and you nod. “So you’re still the same? No effects?” You ask, stirring a cup of tea in your hand and she shakes her head. “Oh no, honey, I had some reaction, my wounds heal faster and I look like im 20 when I’m actually 47, I can run fast, the super strength ingredient was apparently the only thing missing, but I had to get out or else he would’ve kept testing and trying.” You nod again and take a sip from your cup.

“For all we know I might live past the normal human age” she chuckled and you smile. You wonder how old you are, the doctors who checked up on you all gave you the same answer. “Our machines are not that upgraded and we could only assume that you are in your twenties.” They were all amazed at how your cells regenerate quickly and how immune you are to diseases despite not knowing what a vaccine is.

Your days always passed quickly with nothing to do but help Linda in her house, you found a new passion towards gardening and reading, you spent your free time reading every book Linda had and sometimes you’d go to the library and read the books there, you enjoyed norse mythology the most and absorbed every knowledge you could have cramped up inside your mind.

Back in Asgard.

Loki spent the last two year, alone. Yes, he had his brother and his friends, but no one was able fill the gap that you left. He wondered if he ever treated you wrong for you to leave so easily, without a goodbye or a letter, his thoughts taking over him. He mostly spent his awakening hours in the library, sometimes in the garden under your favourite tree, hoping maybe one day you will return with an explanation.

“Still waiting, brother?” Thor said, looking down at Loki who was sitting under that wretched tree he loved dearly.

“That is none of your concern, Thor.” He replied as he flipped the page of the book he pretended to be reading, Thor knew him more than anyone, he was the only one who was able to see through his lies ever since you left.

“She will return, don’t fret, Loki. Everyone was envious of the love you two had for eac-“

“I would rather not talk about her, thank you very much.” He shut his book and looked up at his brother. Thor only chuckled and sat down next to him, anger started to coarse through Lokis veins, How dare he sit where my beloved sat before him!

“Father is as distraught as you are, you know.” Thor looked at him with amusement in his eyes, trying to calm his brother down. “She was the only one keeping you from causing all this trouble!” This time, Thor laughed and Loki looked away. “Father loves to pretend, Thor, you should know this by now.” He crossed his arm and remembered the last time Odin mentioned her.

“She forced heimdall to open the Bifront, Loki, she succeeded at treason. I would not want a criminal roaming this castle or this realm.” Odin told him calmly, Loki was drowning in his own guilt and pain that he was unable to see the lie presented in front of him.

“This is her home! What will happen of her if she is denied of returning to her own realm!” Loki protested, taking a step closer to Odin.

“I will not command Heimdall to bring her back, she may have left on her own accord but she will not return so easily! This is final.” His father stood up, his staff slamming down on the floor, Loki fought the anger and tears from appearing and left without another word.

Odin watched as Loki left and whispered. “One day you will understand.”

#Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x you #loki odison x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #loki laufeyson x you #loki layfeyson x reader

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arthurflecksgirl · 4 years ago

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Imagine giving Arthur a clown soft toy🥺

Plushie clowns and happy tears

was a Headcanon I wrote a while back. It was one of my first I think.

I`ll copy it in here:

* When Arthur was still a little boy he had no toys at all. Penny didnt have much money and she wouldnt try to get him at least even one single toy. He knew that toys existed, though. He saw other kids on tv playing with teddy bears and plastic cars. Little Artie always looked at them with a heavy heart. He wished so much for just one toy.

*When he would ask Penny if he could have one, she would always say that she is poor and can`t afford such unnecessary stuff. That he didnt needed toys anyway, because he was already such a happy boy.

*Arthur wasnt happy. And watching the kids in the movies playing in their bedrooms made him even sadder. He didnt had his ow bedroom eighter. He slept on a matress in the corner of the living room, right beside the radiator. He always thought it would help him a lot to have something to cuddle with while lying there. Stuffed animals were his faves. No one ever hugged him, so at least he would have something to hug and cling on.

* Sometimes he wished for a present from his mum on his birthday. But it never happened. No one ever mentioned his birthday. Some years he even forgot his birthday himself. It was like it doesnt even existed. It was like HE doesnt even existed. He just wished Pennys boyfriend also thought he didnt existed. But he did.

*One day, when he got hurt by Pennys partner again, little Artie would run away from home. Running down the streets in Gotham city. He didnt knew where to go to. He wished he had a friend, but he was all alone in the world.He thought that If he had a friend right now, he could go there and maybe he or she would have some toys to play with together. Maybe even a teddy bear.

*Gotham was a very ignorant city. They didnt even noticed the little kid running around without his parents. Arthur sat down on a bench. He wanted to cry but he couldn`t. He felt the urge to cry so many times, but it was difficult for him to make the tears come. So it was just a feeling of being chocked. No one could see how he felt inside. That he was getting short of air.

* After the air came back again he would walk down the streets and find a junk market. He saw one of those markets before when Penny neeeded a new jacket. It was people seeling their old stuff for a cheap prize. Arthur walked through the pretty crowded place. Many clothes and books. Sometimes he watched people buying stuff and looked at the differents things with curiousity. But he never dared to touch or ask for something.

*After fiveteen minutes of pushing himself through the crowds he would see the most colorful tables of them all. It had stuffed animals, plastic cars, puzzles, games and other toys all over. Arties couldnt belive his eyes. It was so beautiful. He made a stop right there, staring at the teddy bears.

*The old woman sitting behind the table looked at him and asked him if he lost his parents. He didnt answered. All his attention was focused on green hair sticking out between the different teddy bears. It chatched his attention right away.

*“I see you are looking at something?” the woman asked. Arthur pointed at it “Does that one teddy bear have green hair?”. The lady smiled “Oh no, thats not a bear.” Her hand was reaching out for it and she pulled out a small plushy clown with yellow vest over a checkered jacket. Arthur loved the huge, curly, green hair and his painted face.

*The old lady showed him the plushy “He`s got one big, smile,huh? He was always my fave but I am getting old. I dont need him anymore.”

*Arthur kept in staring at the small clown. There was something about this toy that made him feel less sad when he was looking at it. The woman asked him one more time if he was all alone here. And Arthur told her that he ran away from home, which alarmed the woman right away. She told him that he cannot walk around Gotham all alone. That its a dangerous city for a small kid like him.

*The old lady touched the hair of the plushy clown. “Would you promise me to go back home if I give you Mr. Clown?”. Arthur nodded sadly “But I dont have any money”. “Thats okay, little boy. Just please go back to your parants,okay?” Arthur nodded one more time as she handed him the clown.

*He felt something that must have been joy when he held the clown in his hands. He touched the fabric of the clowns clothes and looked at his big smile. He looked up to the seller “My mum always tells me that I should put on a happy face”.

*“See?” the lady said “I am sure your mum is already worried about you. Hurry up!” And as litte Artie said thank you for the present and turned around to leave the place, the old lady ran after him and told him “Hey, little boy, just to let you know. His name is carnival”.

*30 years later

*Arthur was having nightmares again. He woke you up in the middle of the night, just like you told him he should if the nightmares wouldnt leave him alone. And it would happen a lot.

*You told him that its okay and turned on the lights. He was covered in sweat, his brown culs hanging heavy upon his forehead, dark bags under his eyes. He was even having trouble breathing a bit.

*You wrapped his arms around him tight as he was kneeing on the bed. Usually there were no words needed. Hugging him was enough. He just needed human connection. Something he never experienced in his childhood.

* He told you that it was memories of his childhood again. He wasnt sure which part of his nightmares were based on true memories and which ones were just stuff his mind made up while sleeping. He always had this one dream about his only toy being taken away from him. A small, plushy clown he found at a junk marked after running away from home. He didnt even remembered who it was that took th plushy away from him, but the pain of losing his one and only toy was unbearable for little kid Artie. It wouldnt even leave him alone 30 years later.

*After you managed to calm him down , he would crawl back under the sheets again, pressing the pillow against his face to build a shelter.

*The next few days you thought about his memories a lot and wondered how you could help him with that. You might not be able to change the memories but maybe there was a way to comfort him. And suddenly soemthing came to your mind. What if YOU would make him his own clown plushy all by yourself? He told you so many times how his old one looked like and you were really good in knitting. So maybe you should give it a try?

*You started to knit a small clown the next day. You had everything you needed for it. There was just some meterial missing that you needed for his clothes,so you bought some fabric to make sure it would look like the plushy he discribed. It took you some days and you were hiding your work in the wardrobe between your sweaters to make sure he wouldnt find it before its finished.

*You were really excited about the thought that you might make him happy with the clown plushy. Knitting it for him made you happy,too. You put all your love in it. Thinking about kid Artie always made you sad but now he wasnt alone anymore. He wouldnt be alone ever again. You loved him with all your heart and you would never leave him alone ever again. He knew that.

*As the clown was finished you looked at it and felt satisfied with the result. His smile was big and bright red. You even managed to make the green hair look real puffy and curly. The jacket looked a bit big on him but you thought this would be just right.

*Early in the morning after you made some coffee, when Arthur was still asleep you tip toed back to the bed and placed the plushy right beside his pillow, so he would see him right after he wakes.

*You sat beside him on the bed, sipping your coffe, reading a book and twenty minutes later he started moving, mumbling something you couldnt understand, before he opened his sleepy eyes.

*You touched his messy bed hair “Hey, my love. Good morning”. Arthur immediately saw that there was something lying beside his head. He asked you what it is and reached out for it.

*You could never forget his face when he saw what it was. He wanted to ask you where it came from right away, but he couldnt say anything. He just looked at the small clown. And at you. And back at the plushy. His eyes watering, tears of happiness running down his cheeks, as he pressed the plushy close to his naked chest.

*You crawled up to him, laying your loving arms around his fragile shoulders “I hope it just looks like the clown from your childhood, Artie. I knitted this one for you myself. I thought you need your little friend again”.

*Arthur pressed the clown even closer to him, he was crying so hard. “I don`t know what to say” he whimpered. “This makes me so happy. YOU make me so happy. I don`t deserve it.” He smiled between the tears “Look at his big SMILE!”. He gave you a sloppy kiss on the lips. His face wet from crying.

* You kissed his salty tears away. One by one. A taste of his happiness. The happiness he deserved so much.

*Arthur took a close look to every detail of the plushy. “He is holding a sign with his name on it!” he said.

*Yes Artie, he does. Remember you told me the name of your childhood plushy? I didnt forgot.

*Arthur`s smile grew even wider than the clown`s smile. His eyes lighted up as a single tear fell on the plushy´s sign which said “MY NAME IS CARNIVAL”.

------

So yeah....

Oh my god, Arthur would be the cutest when receiving a clown soft toy or a plushie. He would be so moved. Artie is a little boy at heart and he deserves to get all the things he never got when he was a kid.

He would be in tears. Happy tears. I often imagined this. I think he would hug it all night long when you wouldnt be home.

I would definitely give him one!

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck headcanon #joker headcanons #joker #joaquinphoenix #joker headcanon #joker imagine #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck x you #arthur fleck x reader #joker x you #joker x reader #joaquin phoenix joker #dc #clowns #joker clown

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theholyyuunoaduck · 4 years ago

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Reasons why i hate mikaela hyakuya

@gurensangel @chaoticgaymess sorry i know you wanted me to repost your post but its easier just starting my own and making my own hashtag so incase anyone else asks me about this i can just look for the hashtag and send them this

Mikaela is honestly one of those characters i desperately and i mean desperatly tried to love i mean his kid self was so so easy to love and want to protect and hell i cried a shit ton for him and his past his problems everything but the reality is mikaela is a toxic person and here im going to be explaining everything as clearly as i can though im sure that everyone has heard most of these arguments i also have some most people wouldnt even consider

Why is mikaela toxic? Well simply said when you have one person and only one then its obviously going to be an underlying mental health issue now you could say other characters are similar to mikaela within that regard like every other vampire but heres the thing we dont get to see much of the other vampires so im more or less apathetic to those vampires and their actions however in accordance to mikaela we have watched his actions since day one and his chemistry with the rest of the cast of owari no seraph what grinds my gears isnt the fact that mikaela acts with violence and distrust towards everyone but the actions that the rest of the cast have taken towards mikaela and his inability to react differently towards those same exact characters aka shinoa squad

Shinoa squad has never once treated mikaela with prejiduce with agendas or anything of ill will since day one the fact that shinoa basically is the cause of death of many of her comrads during the nagoya arc where mikaela attacks the jida troop (and yes it is a troop considering that after reading pannel after pannel theres upwards to 20 soldiers who the majority of which are equiped with standard blades unlike the protagonists you know basically cannon fodder) but my problem is the fact that in that chapter shinoa instigated their betrayal to save mikaela from the rest of the troops shinoa's life was threatned straight after acknowledging that this could be the last she ever layed eyes on yuichiro by letting mikaela escape with him first threatened by a random soldier and then right after rika inoue and by her superior narumi makoto and shinoa the fucking chad she is just took all the punishment because she knows damn well that it is her fault her comrads died because of her distraction to allow mikaela to escape eating away the precious time guren baught his soldiers to run away and escape and how does mikaela respond? He tells yuu to abandon them it doesnt take a genius to say that betrayal especially to the hiragi family is met with death even if mikaela doesnt understand the rules and regulations of human law i doubt vampire law is much different meaning he knows damn well shinoa could lose her life for betraying the army for his sake and not just shinoa but her entire squad

I already know what youll say "but but mikas a vampire he has no emotions" bullshit absolute pure fucking bullshit of an argument considering the fact yoichis mention of the word family/freinds was cause for pause for mikaela and not just mikaela look at ferid look at crowley theyre all so vibrant and brimming with personality and emotion and i am damn well sure no one disagrees this could just be kagami's writing and forgetting about this plotpoint

The fact that despite this mikaela is a manipulative fucker we all know yuu is a dumbass no one can deny this the fact that mikaela is willing to point his sword towards yuichiro and threaten him his so called beloved speaks volumes about mikaelas ego his straight up ego thinking that he's the only one that could be right after all mikaelas the wisest of the bunch right i mean after all everyone of his other decisions was followed through with outstanding results anyone? Anyone? Thats right not once has the squad or especially yuichiro listend to mikaela and do to that fact everyone is alive and kicking examples? (This is also an example of manipulative mika) Mika: Yuu abandon shinoa because if she's as great as you say us sticking around will only cause her trouble you cannot tell me that isnt mikaela trying to twist yuu's feelings for his family to abandon them because had they listened to mikaela shinoa would have been impaled by the chains kureto produced to awaken the seraph of the end

And almost right after that same situation upon mahiru injuring yuu awakening abadon mikaela high tails and runs away carrying yuu and we actually see a pannel of shinoa squad scrambling for saftey straight up abandoning them again and going so far as to yell that he is yuu's only family despite all the other shit

Alright so lets play into the whole mika doesnt have feelings dont you think that having no feelings would make your sense of judgement all the better? And if so with all the evidence and actions of shinoa squad why in Gods blue earth would he basically act like an actual dick towards shinoa who saved his life risked her life for him as if shinoa is the sole reason yuu is in the prediciment of being possessed by yuu?? Isnt that the least bit infuriating??

On next of we shouldnt listen to mikaela in the same arc again mikaela suggests lets leave shinoa squad to face off against crowley AND FERID with this bullshit of "theyre after us theyll just ignore them" i mean are you kidding me? Ferid the man youve been with for 5 years is going to not have the time of his life killing a bunch of teenagers for the simple fact that if yuu is running away and leaving them.they must not be important to him therefore easy pickings for him

Lets not trust guren after all he's just using you he doesnt care the man loves that boy like as if he was his son and you can argue against me with this some time later but alright lets give mika the benifit of the doubt so obviously in mikas infinit wisdom his set course of action is killing him infront of yuichiro??? Really??? In front of him?? Killing his father infront of yuu man that just speaks volumes about how mikaeala only cares about the feeling he gets with yuu rather than carring about yuu as a person

Imo mika cares about how yuu makes him feel rather than who yuichiro is what do i mean by this? Its simple mika doesnt give a damn what makes yuu happy hell mika would cage yuu up if it ment keeping him safe and alive but is that really living? Its cruelty if i adopt a dog feed it and give it water but never play with it and isolate it thats basically animal cruelty

Anyway back to mika trying to kill guren just right there yuu begs mika to stop and grabs his arm pulling him back and what does mika do? What does he do? He lops off yuu's arm the one that was holding mikaela back from attacking what makes this scene even worse is i had so much hope for mikaeala because the last battle they won mikaela said the thoight of losing his.comrads made him dizzy what happened to him not having feelings? I lived loved loved that statement i imagined uncle mika to yuus kids being the best man to yuus wedding begging to be the one to make the wedding cake so so so so so many au's based off those little words and right after removing yuu's limb from him kimizuki and yoichi step up for guren weapons drawn and mikaela threatens them?!?!?! I mean honestly how fucking hypocritical can you be how big is his fucking ego???

Ill end it with this point because i have work in the morning i Still have another 20 bullet points i want to add but im starting to think i have artheritistis in my hand because my fingers hurt so much but anyway my point being mikaelas character contradicts yui's in an unhealthy way while yuu's character trait is to run towards danger to be a hero mikas is to run from danger its basically a tug of war and the thing is the story so far has actually turned out well for the cast running into danger for yuu made the 6th angels trumpet to grow silent destroying all of the four horsemen monsters and letting humanity take a huge step towards rebuilding but had it been mika's way theyd have run right out of that building never to see it again my point is if someone pulls and runs towards something and another character ties a rope to them and runs the other direction that tension will cause nothing but problems instead of running forward with the protagonist in order to keep them safe and actually contribute into the success of the mission

Also like the hashtags say this is only part 1 because as i said i have to sleep and my hand is killing me i should have done this earlier when i had more energy in order to bring along all the sources like the chapter and page where you can find these exact moments along with photos of said arguments/bullet points

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #yuichiro hyakuya #shinoa hiiragi #mikaela shindo #mikaela hyakuya #reasons i hate mikaeal hyakuya part 1

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