#thats supposed to be his dead sister in the mirror guys trust

[enkihara]

ouu going back to my ibispaint on my phone using my finger roots… it’s been a while…

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I quit online dating...ok dating in general

Definitely taking a long hard look in the mirror, my new job starts soon so I can start seeing a therapist and finally figure out wtf is going on with me mentally but also

I NEED BETTER HELP WITH FIXING MY ATTRACTION OFF OF TOXIC MFS WHO CAN LIE WAY TOO GOOD AND ME ACTUALLY BELIEVING IT BECAUSE THEY LOOK GOOD AND I LIKE THEM LIKE AFTER BEING VULNERABLE

WTFFFF

I met Jay at work, so now I'm worried about blocking myself off too much if I happen to meet someone new and they sound like a nice person, good fit, but then the relationship and family trauma history comes up....wtf do i do? Run?

Like everything that I went through wasn't all my fault, but still I think it would be unfair for me to neglect someone as a potential date if they have everything that I'm looking for, looks good, but they have this, this, and that mental health disorders from trauma or they're just surviving....

But Idk, I think it would be best to get some guidance off the horny, desperate, need somebody to talk to because I can't come out to my parents about what happened to me with Jay and Ayunna because they're not cool about their kids being gay...

Its like "hey, dad I was sexually, mentally, and emotionally abused by someone..."

"Wow...why would you stay in something like that? By the way was it a girl or a boy?"

I think my dad knows. But I did not like the way he responded and said that it was my fault for having sex with them...Like wow, how was I supposed to know they would have took advantage of me and did stuff to me that I wouldn't even like...without consent?

Wtf Dad.

And this is why I never talked to my mom about it either...they think alike to victim blame and doing the oh, well you should have known better way of talking down to their kids about being fucked up by their best friend...

Yea great role models.

I told him and he didn't even hug me. Cause he thought I was going to far when I said I wanted to fight her and get revenge.

He just said you should find a way to release that aggression and looked at me crazy as if nothing bad had happened to me and everything I was feeling still after, was all in my head, blown out of proportion.

Why didn't I tell him I was disappointed in the way he handled that?

It just made me close up on him and mom even more after he said that. Its like why should I have to debate out why it was so wrong of my friend to hurt me to somebody who would rather talk about something else, being all nonchalant and passive as usual.

I don't wanna talk about it until after I move out, cause I feel like he would explode on me if I was to say Dad, I don't like what you said and it hurt me to know that my own father didn't have my back when I was looking for support.

Cause I've been in pain all year, thinking, and being reminded of Jay and Ayunna's actions towards me. I hate them officially to this day. And I'll never love or trust the same since them.

They'll never know what its like to be me, not Jay, not Ayunna, not my mom or dad...so why even bother discussing, then later on debating about why I even stayed in an abusive relationship like that where I people pleased and didn't say stop. I just took the pain, like the good girl-sex-slave/doormat Jay wanted me to be.

He'll never understand it, and thats why I don't like the idea of telling my parents everything that happened, because I don't wanna lose my parents.

Cause I feel like even if I was to open up to my crazy bipolar mom and my passive ass dad, none of them would overreact about wanting to kick Jay and Ayunna's ass like I do right to this very day.

They would have got hard on me, tell me their disappointed in me, and told me everything that I did wrong in the matter instead of actually asking me "are you okay" which Dad never did after I told him the snippet.

Never would have asked me "how are you feeling" "do you need a hug" cause yea, its all my fault huh? For staying with a dumbass abusive friend who was already engaged to someone who treats them like a child too?

Yea they would have judged the fuck outta me...so I don't say anything. And every time I feel a ptsd episode spiraling or mom triggers me, I stay locked up in my room and scream and cry silently until I hear my voice crack. Shrilling the sound like, broken metal guitar strings cause I've been suffering in silence all year long. Hiding my depression from my sisters and my parents, because mom and dad want us to be happy about being alive and living in this house that I stopped giving a fuck about, because well grandma's dead and you can't make people happy about it when it was literally in July and her dead body was carried down our living room steps.

This bitch is crazy, you act like everything is supposed to just go back to normal? After everything that I've seen and been through this year? You think I'm supposed to be happy after finding out your a crazy, selfish, asshole who wanted me to fall down the steps just for pissing you off, my grandma was miserable and depressed all the way up in that house and delusional about healthcare that she didn't visit a doctor for years until it was too late, my dad hides everything he feels from us and mom unless it comes out in an aggravated assault on my little sister when she pissed him off, and now mom is basically forcing us to get back on cleanup schedule and act like everything is normal.

WHEN ITS FUCKING NOT

I bet deep down this is why Grandma moved to live in a cabin in the woods, for idk how long. She even painted the house she bought later on, the exact same colors. Burgundy and Sea Mint Green. Cause she loved how peaceful it was and there was nobody there but just her. Her family, her abusive ex, her abusive baby daddy, her children, and her friends all drove her nuts trying to be there and take care of them....when nobody was there to take care of her.

Except when I was there, it felt like we had the whole house, the whole world to ourselves, and we could be just as still and silent as the wind passing us as we sat on the couch, watched movies, ate popcorn, and enjoyed a hard lemonade with her. She missed being by herself after I moved in and so did I.

No wonder we kept butting heads. We don't like being disappointed by our family and friends, and we sure as hell don't like people making us work for them, and not caring about our emotional, mental, and physical stability.

I would prefer to go to the library for hours and just watch movies on the internet, than to live with my family while I'm still digesting the pain and drama I went through.

And realizing just how toxic, abusive, and crazy your family really is...really made me hate reality. Once the research on why I felt like I was suffering so bad with jay and ayunna started to add up, it all made sense why I didn't see some of the things that actually hurt me, as not as bad. Because I'd been through it already with my mom and my dad. Where I'm forced to take every negative comment or action they said and did, and just deal with it without retaliating against them or I was punished or told I was too sensitive to be told the truth. Gaslighting me.

Like I'm not allowed to feel pain if my mom tells me that my stomach is poking out too much in that dress and that I need to go change or wear some spanx. Then if I didn't want to change there was pinches on my skin from when she would force my shirts into my pants and make me feel stupid for not knowing how to tuck in my pants.

I'm supposed to always appreciate everything my parents did for me, even when the person standing in front of my face wants to be right all the time and I'm supposed to not get upset, not get angry, not cry, not whine or complain when my parent, my guardian does something unfair to me, says something rude, disrespectful, and controlling to me that they know that if I did the same thing to them, then they would slap me across the face, flick me in the head, knock me back to being a kid, just because they said so and just because I still live here.

I hate this place. And I thought Athena would be my escape. I thought I found someone to build real love with after going through so much trauma and realizing the crazy I've been living in for all these years.. The facade is over.

And I don't know what to do except cry and scream for myself in my room, and now I can't even talk to them about me losing my faith and trust in God because everything bad that happened and keeps happening. And why in the hell did he decide giving my grandma cancer was the best way for her to go? She was in so much pain all these years and it was from cancer. Her head and her body was twitching from lack of oxygen. And she was unresponsive as I sat upstairs with her all night on the very same couch I'm sitting on right now.

Its September now. She passed on July 30th and dad called me from upstairs after I had stayed up there till like 11:30 cause we were writing down how much morphine to give her each hour. And the nurse had just told us that she might not have that long left to live. Like maybe saturday or monday, cause it was already friday the 30th.

But after the nurse left, Dad told me to go through her pictures and find his favorite photo of her. I didn't even cry like he did, I had already cried at 10am when I saw no matter what I did, she was still shaking and not responding to me talking to her like before. Still grunting. It was like me being on nurse mode, made my heart, my emotions feel numb. But after I left the room and called Hospice, I finally let it out.

Grandma passed at around 1:30 or 2pm. And two of my aunts and my cousins were over. My cousins playing a game of Uno in the dining room as if nothing traumatic was going on upstairs. None of them reacted at all until they all joined us in the living room as she being carried down the stairs by the funeral service guys. It was amazing to see how insensitive at 1st the kids were, then to see my mom cry about not being strong enough for my dad, when I was sorta pissed off and confused and still in shock about grandma. LIKE WTFFF MOMMM FUCKING CRYYY THAT'S THE REASON WHY YALL HAVE PROBLEMS IN YALL RELATIONSHIP AND OUR RELATIONSHIP NOW

STOP HIDING YOUR FUCKING SADNESS, ANGER, AND GRIEF FROM YOUR FAMILY BY BEING A CRAZY ASS PSYCHOPATH WHO EXPECTS PEOPLE TO ACT NORMAL AND BE HAPPY WHEN SOMETHING SHITTY LIKE THIS HAPPENS

GODDAMN IT MOM FUCKING CRY. YOU'RE HUMAN. IM HUMAN. WE'RE ALLOWED TO FUCKING CRY. WE'RE ALLOWED TO GRIEVE. WE'RE ALLOWED TO FEEL OUR PAIN AND SUFFERING.

AND IM ALLOWED TO BE DEPRESSED AND UNSATISFIED WITH MY LIFE AND MY RELIGION THAT DOESN'T LET ME DO WHAT I WANT AND BE HAPPY WITH WHOEVER I WANT TO BE WITH.

AND MOM IM GAY. I FELL IN LOVE WITH WITH A GIRL WHO LATER ON DECIDED TO BE A THEY, AND NOW A HE AND I'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN AS A THEY, CAUSE NOW HE'S GROWING A BEARD, A DICK, A NEW VOICE AGAIN, AND SHE'S GETTING MARRIED TO ANOTHER CONTROLLING PSYCHOPATH THAT REMINDS ME OF YOU AND I HAD SEX WITH HER TOO, BUT I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE CAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF ME AND HER WANNA KILL EACH OTHER OR IF SHE'S ACTUALLY A COUSIN OR NOT WHO REMINDS ME OF MY TRAUMA WHEN I WAS A KID. AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYBODY SAY ANYTHING ABOUT INCEST POSSIBLY BEING A GENE OF TRAUMA IN THIS FAMILY.

I LITERALLY WATCHED MY COUSINS WHO WERE FAMILY, HAVE SEX AND THEY WERE KIDS JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE WATCHING PORN AND NOBODY BROUGHT IT BACK UP TO EVEN EXPLAIN WHY OR WHAT HAPPENED. AND ALL I SEE IS FLASHBACKS OF SHIT WHENEVER SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO ME IN MY LIFE. CAUSE I KNOW INCEST IS BAD.

AND THATS WHY I STILL AM GROSSED OUT BY THE IDEA OF AYUNNA AS A WHOLE BECAUSE SHE SMELLS WEIRD AND HAS GROSS MORNING BREATH, SHE SNORTS FOR 45 MIN TO AN HR EVERY MORNING SHE WAKES UP LIKE ITS NORMAL TO NOT BE ABLE TO BREATHE NORMALLY LIKE THAT IN YOUR SLEEP AND SHE'S ABNOXIOUS AND GROSS AND IMMATURE BUT JAY PRETENDS LIKE SHE'S MATURE AND IM NOT EVEN THOUGH IM SMARTER, IM BETTER, MORE EMOTIONALLY CAPABLE TO HANDLE THEM BEING DEPRESSED TO NOT JUDGE THEM FOR IT, CAUSE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO WANNA DIE TO ESCPAE MY PAIN AND MY REALITY CAUSE ITS NICE AND EASIER TO HAVE AFRIEND WHO WANTS TO GO BACK TO BEING TAKEN CARE OF LIKE A BABY AND HAVE FUN JUST LIKE YOU TOO.

I feel like i lost a lot this year...including my sanity...thanks a lot Athena for triggering me. Now going back to talking to grandma as if she was here like I did when i was on the flight for the very 1st time after 911 and I had a silent panic attack because I was holding it in for the kid and the obnoxious older black lady next to me on my flight.

I cried my tears out and everything felt tight up on my back, making me scared and numb and tingly like I was on a rollercoaster. and mom thought I was just overreacting.

I need someone who understands me and knows exactly how it feels to be me, and I thought that person was this crazy bitch on the internet, who's gay and trans and lost a bunch of her family due to trauma. Because she's autistic, and not the one where they cant talk and do things for themselves. She talks to me just like I would to myself when I wasn't feeling good.

And idk, if I might have some sort of autism or spectrum thing too. Or did my family brainwash me into thinking nothing was wrong with me, the way they treated me, and how I was behaving...just because they didn't wanna believe it either.

I wanna know what's wrong with me, my life, my family and how do I fix it so it doesn't keep happening. I wanna know how can I avoid becoming like my parents and ending up in a controlling, aggressive, petty relationship like my dad who became passive just so he could deal with it and hide his pain from her.

I dont know what a healthy relationship looks like with no confrontations that leads to fights, arguing that leads to yelling at each other's faces and getting distracted with emotions to where we throw things at each other or just walk out without saying anything...

Because I dont know how to be angry. Cause I was never allowed to. and the people who birth me, don't know how to control theirs either without hurting the person they care about, someway or some sort.

I still to this day don't know how to communicate when I get angry. Because I feel like I was adopted from all the daycare people who used to take me in at night time when mom would drop me off and I never knew when she was coming back cause she didn't tell me.

[lady-0f-time]

The Final Problem - Breakdown

so i just watched Sherlock "The Final Problem"

i had listened to all the fans who disliked the episode and i decided im going to do an episode breakdown to make everyone feel a little more at peace with the episode. now i understand there

may be some things that dont make sense in the episode and i understand that what i write here cannot make those things any better than what the writers had already intended. so lets

begin with the epsidode breakdown!

we start off the episode with Euros shooting john with a tranquilizer and a little girl in an airplane. now i understand how and the end the airplane was a metaphor for being mentally unstable

but i felt that it was more of a distraction. but in the end, it made sense (we'll get to that part in a moment))

we see that for some reason the little girl is on the airplane and she is the only one awake. everybody else is asleep. to me this paralles the plane of the dead we saw a the previews episode.

what we know about this plane is tat it was supposed to crash and the passengers were supposed to die so they put dead poeple on the plane so that when it crashed there wouldnt be any

dead people in the terrorist attaack. ((atleas thats what i got from it). we see the air masks hanging from the cabin roof and we see the stewardess on the floor, it looks as if she has been

attacked and and that the plane has been taken over by terrorists. although its highly unlikely that this is the situation, it looks to be if that could be a possibility. yet when they flash to the

cabin we can see the inside of the cockpit which is usually behind a very thick door that keeps people out so there cannot be a hijacking. now if th plane is in darkness heading from possibly

somewhere in the UK or europe we can infer that the lane is heading west over the pacific ocean possibly. what this means is that  Euros is imagining herself going home to the UK (which

would be west) i say the pacific because we're not told where the plane is. we dont find out til the end that its actually a metaphor so sherlock might think she's on another half of the planet. (i

imagine this part being where she may have had a bad trip to sherrinford and since she's been there since she was a little girl, she has no other memory of being on a a plane possibly and she

is imagining the ocean between sherrinford and britain. her more emotional half is still the age of a young girl where nobody can understand her, nobody can talk to her and she see's her

mental state crashing into the ground and she is begging people to answer her.   Next we come to a scene were we see mycroft sitting and watching a movie involving a woman and a police officer and he seems to know the movie word for word. I feel this has little to do

with anything other than context. we see the film start to flicker and show home movies from his childhood but he cant understand what is going on and it starts to scare him. we know that

mycrof is a very reasonable man and can undrerstand many logical things that even sherlock sometimes cant. what we know is that the unknown shacers the holmes boys and euros more

than anything else. skipping through the scene we se a clown, a little girl and a multi use umbrella. mycroft loves his umbrella, it reminds me of when he first met john. the clown seemed a bit

over the top and i can only assume that its because mycroft might be afraid of clowns but that is probably for another time. once sherlock admits that he was at fault in scaring his brother we

see john very forward about how it was his idea to get him to tell the truth only when he was scared shitless. john seems very angry at mycroft but we can obviously deduce the reasoning

behind this as it has always been john who is disliked around mycroft, as if he is intruding in his brothers space, making him more emotionally attatched to things. we know that sherlock has

gone out on a limb for John many times including faking his death and even accepting the possibility that he might die at the hands of a serial killer. at that point in the last episode we know

sherlock doesnt want to die but he trusts john with his life. he trust him sometimes more than he can trust himself and that is what makes john sherlocks heart and his motivation for

everything he does.  mycroft is upset when he finds out the euros has "escaped(?)" from sherrinford and we learn that it was Euros who spent the night with sherlock eating cps and talking about her father

being a killer (we know it was the other girl) but euros either way, performed wonderfully as the daughter. we know mofftiss like to use mirrors and we can see john in her. her limp, her

readiness for death and how she dresses. we see sherlock, who is dying because john is no longer the light in his life, the motivation behind everything he does and for a moment, he takes her

into the night and she becomes his movitation to do what he always does. but we also see him hit the ground, go fuzzy and its almost like she isnt even there. Im not sure what the drug is

called atm, but we know in TLD that a drug was being used to change memories which is also a very imporant piece of information at this point. at the end of the lying detective we see euros

point a gun at johns head and shoot, at the begginning we see part of that scene and we switch to mycroft. sherlock tells john "it was just a tranquilizer" and they move on. it would be a good

guess to say that euros loves tranquilzers and would have used one with a bit of memory potion on sherlock when they're sitting and talking about the case of smith. it would be why when he

turned around he had a problem seeing her as if she was no longer there, information obtained but not understood how. how would sherlock know about the father who wanted to kill without

her...she wanted to see who he was. what he was. and in the process she eliminated herself from his memory just as easily as she could escape sherrinford, if not easier.  back at the flat sherlock and john are in their chairs, mrs.hudson is in the doorway and mycroft ist standing there upset that he is being treated like a client instead of a sibling of sherlock, or

even a friend at that matter. mycroft does have the problem of imposing and we can see how that negativly effects sherlock and john. mrs. hudson also seems upset about what has happened

to her boys while they were away. mycroft and sherlock are also very literal, they dont always see the emotional side of things that say, john would be able to pick up on. i assume john may

have picked up a vibe that eurus was more of his idea than anything because he is equally upset at mycroft even beford they start to talk about their childhood and how their sister became a

monster. irritated, mycroft does not wish to discuss family matters in front of john because like i stated earlier, he doesnt see him as a friend or family member, but an outsider. and intruder.

when he starts to argue this point, sherlock tells him that, that because its a family matter, john stays and we see john give a little smirk like "deal with it" ((i picture irritated inlaw but thats

my johnlock showing))   mycroft begins telling the story about the house they used to live in and how he would look after sherlock. he began talking about redbeard who we've come to know as sherlocks dog. they

show a blonde girl who is euros, a "chubby" kid we automatically assume is mycroft because we see sherlock as the pirate he wanted to become. (quick idea interejection - sherlock is a year older than euros but we see her as a blonde child and then a black haired girl, that is relevent to another part of a theory, but what if she's

adopted? like i know its highly unlikely but think about it, sherlock might not have been so easily able to erase her if she was with him from birth til her departure to sherrinford but what if

that isnt the case, she wasnt always there?) mycroft tells john that she was very smart, and that she was able to kill the dog and refused to tell anybody where she hid the body. after she tried to burn the house down they sent her

away. mycroft says she doesnt understand pain, but we know that she was hurting for her brothers attention, she was falling into darkness in her mind. becaue she was so smart, she didnt

have the basic understandings of the human body, which sounds crazy but let me explain. she saw higher than love or emotion, yet felt them but wasnt able to understand them. see, even

scientists are only able to understand emotions and what they do to us chemicaly, so explaining these feelings to a child who can only understand it from a science POV makes her seem like

she has no emotions or incapable of feeling them. he explains this when she says "which one" when asked if she feels pain. drone flys in with grenade and then comes a wonderful exchange of

dialog that allows for a momentary view of sherlocks grand character development. they begin talking about a quote and then mycroft explains he played a character in a play and sherlock,

liked it. his facial expression does not say 'sarcasm' so we can see that he is prepared to not make it out alive even though he believes he will. the next part ive concluded is a part that doesnt

make sense to others watching the series as to how real it is. i remember there was a character that got thrown out the window and had several injuries and was required to be taken away by

paramedics, but we see john and sherlock jump out the window to escape the blast and then there is darkness around the before we see them again on the boat in the next scene. however, as i

have thought over that scene, as i went into the show today thinking about all the problems the people have pointed out, i have come the conclusion that there was a small time gap between

the explosion and the time we see them on the boat. now, how great that may have been has not yet been explained. but when the guy in charge of sherrinford finds out that a boat is about to

crash into the island he puts the place on high alert, asking about how mycroft is. he's told that he was in an accident and is in critical condition and might not make it and sherlock is reported

as missing. so what exactly is the ammount of time needed to be in critical condition (as in make it believable) and then report sherlock missing while also secretly procuring an aircraft and

flying out in the middle of the ocean with the plan of getting a disguise.

now on the more arugmentative part. Vatican Cameos

why on earth would sherlock ignore that? because as the director of sherrinford had just explained, everybody who comes in contact with Euros is compromised so why would that make

sherlock any different? she stares into him and he is emotionally attatched because he feels like part of him was stolen when he found out she was taken away and he also wanted to know

about redbeard and why she would do such a thing to him. despite what she has done he is still curious, still ever the scientist and see's her as something he wants to know more about. again

we see another mirror, this time a metaphorical mirror. unlike the others we see, now sherlock and euros are starting to come together. she has made the connection she has made herself

very interesting to him and he was willing to let her into his head to find out, much like he was willing to let the serial killer get him because he trusted john. he doenst trust her, not yet but he

is intrigued and cocky as to what she is capable of. sherlock pulls the earpiece out and trows it to the ground. sherlock is involved, way deeper than he's been and out of control. just wher

euros wants him.

we're going to ignore the plane because we talked about it.

moriarty makes an entreance and from euros's mouth she says "oh you've had sex, i have" i think this is a really useless line but then again it sounds very slashfictiony. so i dont know what to

do with information other than mycroft gives her treats and that maybe after her 5 minutes un-supervised with moriarty she was allowed a visit by him, supervised but i wouldnt put it past

her or moriarty to have a relationship since both of them are very dangerous and she knew that moriarty was very intrigued with sherlock, the brother she used to know. whatever they

discussed she was in for the game that was sherlocks fall and subtle rise again after. now she has them in her chamber, shes in charge and she wants to evaulate emotions because she still

doesnt understand them. her mind is still in that plane, her child self is still scared but she is a computer, a machine that doesnt understand the concept of love, fear and emotion and now she

has the one who seems to lack emotion in her chamber, his brother and his BEST friend. (make note of that). she knows johns his best friend and sherlock infered that because when mycroft

tried to kick john out the room, sherlock says because its a family matter john stays, so we know john is more than just a best friend and that makes him family. mycroft may be in a situation

of government where he has people do whatever it is he wants, he is used to having the control over other people. dogs to do his bidding for him and then he's able to recieve those reports.

when euros tells sherlock that one of them has to kill the director or else the wife dies. mycroft cant kill, its not in him. we see that in the beginning when he's faced with the clown. he chose

the gun over going straight with the sword. had he not pulled the sword off, he might have been able to attack the clown in his house, but sherlock knows him better than that. he wouldnt hire

people that would get killed. they wouldnt work for him if they were going to die. so he knew that mycroft wouldnt use the sword. but the gun was unloaded just in case, and that was a life or

death moment, which strangely enough, he was able to do but yet he couldnt kill the director. john is a soldier, he makes that reference through the sherrinford trials. he has the guts to kill

but only when he has to but he doesnt want to kill anybody and know that its a pointless kill. his morals win and the man kills himself and euros kills his wife. from that moment on, john

realizes that in order for things to go as they need to. he needs to put himself back in a situation where morals are the least of his concern and that is war. or as mary said "the soldier that

never came home from war".

"i love you"

many people feel that molly hooper has been deduced to a love interest but i can say that it is only slightly true but incorrect. why? we have all the evidence of course. back in episode one, we

see molly putting lipstick on and asking sherlock if he'd like to have coffee with her. first sign. she's there through the entire series until he hurts her feelings and then he realises what he did.

but molly, oh she's still there doing things for the duo and when mary dies, shes there with john helping with the baby. at that moment she loves him and despises him. her anger towards him

is because of what john may or may not have told molly about how mary died or what sherlock did that got mary killed. mary on the other hand died for her boys. died because she was a

person who needed redemption and even though she had just gotten married, she had to redeem herself somehow from all the horrible things she had done and all the people who got killed

because of her. she was a spy til the end, leading her stalker right to her family and even then when she ran away she was found. she knew that no matter what she did her past would haunt

her and get her family killed and she needed one last thing to do before she injured them more than she may have already hurt them. she loved john and sherlock and she knew that what

they would become (safe and a family) without her. but her death was not planned, she knew she was going to die but nobody knows when. she saw the signs, death coming for her and just

like in sumara, she ran right into death. letting it take her john, who could have tried to save her was in shock. nobody is ever prepared to deal with a death of a loved one, not even a soldier

like john. he is smart, and quick witted but sometimes he doesnt see what is right in front of him, he feels and then thinks until he has to think first and then he just does whatever comes

naturally including shooting cab drivers from a window. what a shot.  molly is not angry at sherlock for what he did to her. she is mad and sherlock was her scapegoat. she see's marys death as the body that sherlock put on the table. the one that he could have

taken the fall for had people not been there to back him up. john would have let that happen only for a bit. john blamed sherlock, beat him for the death of his wife and in the end, came to the

truth through his mind that he was not at peace with mary. he loved her with his entire being  yet he wanted more. the fun of being with another woman...if only texting. it wasnt that he

wanted to cheat, he had every intention of being the man mary wanted him to be. but he slipped, back into what a man in survival mode does. a man whose instinct is to take what he thinks

belongs to him. mary had injured him with her lies. sherlock had lied and he too was mad. so instead of going back to sherlock for his comfort, he goes to a random woman he met on a bus.  all this molly knows so when sherlock starts asking her to say something that he knows to be true, something he puts off all the time because its not what he is interested in, she feels the

pain of humilation that he has brought her all the times in the past. she feels betrayed again even though john is back at his side, she's lonely and she still clings to the idea that sherlock has

done wrong to her and wrong to john. sherlock says "i love you" because he wants to survive. she says it because its true...but when the bomb dont detonate, euros says that its all that he did

to her that destroys her. sherlock destroyed molly not bombs. his ignorance to her emotions and he forced to say things he didnt mean, that she did mean. that was painful for her. euros

doesnt understand emotions but knows how they work. she wants to see what happens when somebody is destroyed by their emotions and who better than sherlock. the one without

attatchments.

the garidebs wasnt useless but it was in the same way. john was able to show off his skills, euros still killed all three. the next round was the elimination round, so the garideb case was a skill

round, see who is useful and who isnt to sherlock. in the elimination round we see mycroft is angry, mean and ready to let john die and john is willing once he realises who he is and who

mycroft is. mycroft is the government and john is the solidier, sherlock is the civilian. euros wants sherlock to kill mycroft and that is what moriarty wanted as well. but what sherlock does

instead is surprise euros because she thinks that after all the other trials, that sherlock and the others are predictable and know the consiquences of not following rules, they wouldnt dare

break any more of her rules. but what sherlock does to surprise her is turn the gun on himself. she can do anything because she needs to have him around. and much like the euros we were

introduced to before as mirror john, she tranquilize all three of them and begins her next step in the plot. for whatever reason, she is out to get sherlock and take him apart, see what his limits

are to save her, to save the girl in the plane. johns in a well. he's going to drown, under deep under . its revealed that redbeard isnt a dog, but a boy that sherlock was very close to. his BEST

friend. she knows she needs sherlock to save her from the hell she is in. but she will do anything to get what she wants and that means killing those closest to sherlock. she killed his best

friend and now he was going to kill the person who he cared for most. his heart. moriarty said he would burn the heart out of sherlock, euros wants to drown it. she also says that moriarty's

revenge was her, so we know who sherlock cares for most in the world. john. for a moment we see sherlock and euros sitting beside each other, hugging and she's crying. sherlock has finally

hit bottom of his heart. john is saved and the only thing left is his emotions. he has found them where he left them, with her before she left for sherrinford. sherlock had learned to care from

john, and she reminded him about that love and he saw it in her in her broken scared state.  despite what she did to him, he continued to see her, when nobody could get her to talk, sherlock spoke in a language she could understand, a music they both shared. time passes, mary has

willed that her video will would be released at certain times. she tells her boys that she knew they would be together forever in their flat, solving crimes. euros speaks more and more and

eventual e crimes and be who they are. a family.