#thats my beloved my darling my foreverboy
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there is a genuine part of me that struggles to accept and cope with farquaads death
#i guess i cant deny it but i hate to acknowledge it really#i always have#i rember as a kid watching scared shrekless and seeing what happened to duloc was genuinely terrifying for me#well idk how that special stands on canon#i also feel upset about how at tbe end of shrek4d movie his ghost is destroyed#suggesting he died in a spectral sense#and it makes me mad becaude its like#why this again why again why csnt they just let him be stop killing him#i do love ghost farquaad as much as his living self but its still kind of painful#i have no aversion to ghosts and ghostloving. but i really would rather he be alive and safe thanks#i think this also might be where a lot of my protectiveness of him stems from also lol#moreso a thing that ppl close to me know what i mean#but i get protective and upset when someone tries to talk mean about him to me#^ refers to ppl who just say things to me like about how they think hes ugly or they want to hurt or kill him or are glad hes dead#ik i shouldnt let it get to me because its intent is to upset me and im playing into their wants by getting upset#but its hard to help it#thats my beloved my darling my foreverboy#yoi woildnt talk like that about someone whos irl husband died . ik they arent a direct equivalent but .#sigh. the explanation is im fictoromantic it's fundamentally different#so if you dont get it you likely never will
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