#thats literally the kind of thing you hear from seven year olds. shameful. raise your standards people

[gay-jesus-probably]

I can't believe anyone voted for CPR, like. Guys. CPR is not a 'kiss or die ;)' situation. If CPR is being done correctly, there's a pretty good chance the victim is getting broken ribs. It's not... it's not even close to a romantic or sexual situation, AND people being weird about how 'oooh cpr means smooooching' just makes people wary of using it unless they're absolutely certain it's necessary, because if it turns out to be a false alarm, there's a good chance the would be rescuer is getting sexually harassed for it.

CPR is not a kiss for the same reason an emergency tracheotomy isn't oral sex. Sure, a tracheotomy involves having a hard shaft penetrate your throat, but sucking a dick is a very different experience from being stabbed in the goddamn throat because your airway has entirely closed up. And making out with someone has nothing to do with forcing oxygen into their lungs to stave off brain death while you smash their ribcage to physically force their heart to keep beating.

[oojamaflip-whatchamacallit]

#look i respect Allo Nonsense but this is just too much nonsense for me#tropes are fun and all. but if cpr is even vaugely sexy its not fucking cpr and you're making out with a corpse#i mean my god y'all are boring. literally breaking someones ribs to forcibly keep them alive is romantic as fuck#its a very dramatic gesture if done correctly#why ignore all of that in favour of 'oooh your mouths are touching'#thats literally the kind of thing you hear from seven year olds. shameful. raise your standards people#also op the reason fakeout is winning is bcause 1. its a fun trope#and 2. most of the other options are built on a lack of consent which has been increasingly uncomfortable for about a decade now#while the fakeout is a team effort to perpetuate a ruse and therefor automatically very fun and sexy. hope this helps.