#thats it for now. have a fantastic day!

[lasagoofs]

rewatching to prepare for the new season

[feline-evil]

Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

TODAY I got my blood stolen so they can test it, picked up my meds, went to the Craft store I'm going to consign with so I could ask a few more questions and such, AND went to city hall to inquire on the community garden so hopefully I can take it over. And it's only 2pm.

[fable-x4]

Doing this because it makes me happy •Ꮂ•. Im making it difficult on all of you though.

1 note- I'll go drink water

10 notes - I'll set alarms to actually care for myself

50 notes - set up a daily productivity system so I stop wasting my time doing nothing.

100 notes - ask my friends to help me buy a skirt

500 notes - get a bra & a whole bunch of other affirming clothing !!!

1k - tell my dad that my gf is also trans

2.5k - ask my dad to address me by my prefferred name & pronouns 1k went pretty poorly, so I dont feel super comfortable making an attempt on this.

5k - try to get therapy/psychologist

10k - girl mode at all times (start actively wearing makeup/clothing/doing voice training around people at all times)

50k - try for HRT (0% chance) (also no guarantee on this one)

Asfgg. It feels surprisingly good to have a bunch of strangers who want me to be happy

I have now set up alarms for eating, waking up, and hygene related stuff. I seriously doubt we get to 500, but this has made me significantly happier •Ꮂ•

Doing some math... 25 notes in 4 hours. 6.25 notes per hour. 8000 hours or 333 days until this hits 50k. Hrt in a year ig.

Um. Wow. Its been a day, and we're almost at 300. Everything 500 & below was supposed to be things I'd do with minimal intervention. But now, we're getting to the scarier stuff. I am very intimidated, but also excited

My gf really badly wanted to be here when I buy some of the clothing, so the skirt will be this week, the rest of the clothing will be when she comes back from vacation

Saying that you're force femming me is so not allowed. This is unfair. You have no right to make me feel the ways Im feelingggg. Stop making me happy.

Welp. I told him about my girlfriend. And things went about as poorly as expected. He said that Im parroting what other people think. Slowly taking little parts of them, and applying them to myself. Specifically, being trans. He didnt even leave it to maybes. He said with certainty that I was copying everyone else. I know 9 trans people total. Only 2 of them are my close friends. Everyone else, Im barely aquaintences with. I should have told him that regardless of whatever theories he has, this has boosted my confidence massively. Slightly less excited for 2.5k notes. At least everything after that is very positive. And at least this lets me talk about my girlfriend for ages. I dont have to say her deadname through gritted teeth. Oh context. He already knows Im trans but was ignoring it.

I GOT A SKIRT!!!!!

Thank all of you so much. At first when I got the skirt, I was pretty intimidated by the idea of showing my legs. I thought everyone will just see me as a man. But there's a degree of confidence you all have given me. Yeah. Im pretty. Yeah, Im beautiful even. Yeah. Its a friggin fantastic skirt. And anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb. Im happy, and thats what matters.

[jonquilyst]

To the guy who got mad at me and said I should “lose my attitude” over a price discrepancy at work today, I hope you come to the realization that maybe the same should be said about yourself.

There was a misunderstanding. I didn’t know that $5.29 was the sale price and not the regular price. I thought the price was supposed to be lower since you asked about it being on sale. So I of course asked if you had a rewards card so we could try to sort this out, but then you got angry and escorted me to the price tag in question, where I realized what was going on and told you the price was correct.

Yes, I was a little firm with you, but that’s because I’m a human being, not a robot. You were raising your voice at me. If you’re gonna be mad to me, then don’t expect sunshine and rainbows in return. Not to mention on your way out you decided to shoot me down over said “attitude” when you could have moved on and kept your mouth shut. Sooo... Maybe you’re the one that needs to chill?

The item in question was a pint of ice cream, btw.

A guy got mad at me over a pint of ice cream.

[chosove]

*tw!!! daddy kink!!! + a lotttt of size kink stuff!!! fem bodied reader*

I know he gets such a like…almost ‘selfish lover’ rep but in my humble daddy issue biased opinion, toji would 100% talk you through it like…

Everyone already finds him so intimidating, if not from his stature and general appearance, its his gruff voice and combative personality. He doesnt even mean to do it, he just always has that trademark scowl on his face that makes people afraid to say excuse me in grocery stores :(

Not you though, you still served him with your bright smile as he checked out of the store. You asked how he was and giggled at his flirty response of ‘why, ya wanna make my day better?’. I mean…other than his kids he never had people willingly make small talk with him, let alone laugh at his old man jokes.

Godddd he just gets so flustered when you look at him with your big doe eyes and say have a fantastic day :(

Thats why when he sees you on the dating app megumi downloaded for him (against his will), he feels his heart skip a beat. I just know he’s all nervous, thinking how dirty he is as a self proclaimed ‘old man’ finding such a pretty young thing attractive- i mean you could literally be his daughter. All these worried thoughts flitted through his head while he tried to decide, not realizing his thumb was just a littttttlllleeeee too close to the screen as he accidentally matched with you.

Oh.

Oh.

I mean it was an accident for him, but was it an accident for you? It couldnt be if you were texting him already, a message reading “hey there stranger :)” popping up on his phone.

And when you liked his simple response of “Hello.”, responding with “anything i can do to make your night better, toji?”, that couldnt just be a typo or misclick, right?

You made him feel like a teenager again, the butterflies he felt only becoming more intense when you asked him to come over n’ tell you in person :( he nearly jumped out of his skin trying to get ready, hands fumbling with that pinstripe button-up he’d been saving for something special (gumi’s grad or….i guess his first date in forever). It was only at times like this he wished he had someone to call to help him chill out.

Maybe after tonight that’d be you though? He hoped so at least, and even when you pulled him into your apartment, pushing him on the couch while he stuttered about getting to know each other first, he knew you were the girl for him.

It did take a while for him to actually get up to your speed- he didnt wanna break you or anything. You were just so, so desperate for him, tugging at his shirt while you grinded your clothed cunt against his beefy thighs, filthy words coming out of your mouth only making it harder for toji to take it slow with you.

“God you’re so big toji, feel like even jus��� your fingers can split me in half.”

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you, knew you’d treat me better than all the guys my age. Ya gonna fuck me right toji? Please?”

“C’mon toji…know you wanna breed me, bet it’ll only take one time for me to give you a baby. D’you want that daddy?”

It was no later you said that word that he was picking you up, throwing you onto the tiny mattress your studio apartment held. Yeah, he definitely wasnt getting out of this alive- but neither were you judging by the way his big hands began to unbuckle his belt, unzipping the pants you so graciously left a giant wet stain on, the outline of his cock in his boxers making your mouth water.

“See what ya do to me, pretty?” His deep voice spoke, one hand giving his throbbing dick a few much-needed strokes while he stared down at you like a wolf. “Nothin’ to say anymore, hm? C’mon, i liked hearing it all.”

He hadnt even pressed himself against you before you let out a whine, his hands resting themselves on your sides already being enough to make your hips jump. If it weren’t for the fact he was now intent on hearing more of those pretty sounds from you, he’d have let out a whine himself from how soft your skin felt against his worked hands. And when he slowly pulled your panties down your thighs, clenching his jaw at the sight of strands of wetness sticking to your pussy, he nearly came in his pants.

“Poor girl, bet this sweet pussy hasnt been treated right in forever hm?” The question nearly brought tears to your eyes, both from the truth of it and from the fact he began to thumb at your glistening cunt, the rough pad of his finger being the exact pressure you needed on your pulsing bundle of nerves. “T-toji i might cum alr-”you began, but you werent able to get your sentence out before his hand came down to slap against your cunt.

“What happened to my good girl from earlier? Y’know not to call me toji, little bird. Whats my name?” He whispered against the shell of your ear, fingers covered in your wetness now coming to play with your hard nipples.

Clinging to his shaggy hair like it was your lifeline, you nearly cried out as you came undone for him, the desperate moan of ‘thank you daddy’ falling from your lips. He smiled as you writhed below him, your body convulsing while he let you ride what would be the first of many orgasms that night.

[checkeredflagggs]

Febuwhump Day 2: Holding Back Tears

pairings: gen

summary: a story about y/n, Redbull’s new second driver, told in non-sequential order

a/n: I love febuwhump and have participated before for other fandoms but this is a first for me — attempting to compete it via smau only. Hopefully I can write a complete story eventually and I will be posting it on its own masterlist in the correct order to read but it’ll be written based on the febuwhump prompt list! @febuwhump

a/n2: based on the 2024 year; sorry checo but you got replaced earlier!

y/n_rb

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, oscarpiastri, and 2,112,001 others

tagged: redbullracing

y/n_rb: not necessarily the fp1 we wanted to see but damn does this track have hands. (ps drinks and pizza have already been ordered for my poor engineers — love ya guys!)

view all comments

user1: girl you should be a dancer 💃 — you spun so gracefully

↳y/n_rb: very demure. very mindful. very cutesy

↳y/n_rb: you know what wasn’t mindful or demure?

↳user2: that gravel pit?

↳y/n_rb: that gravel pit!

maxverstappen1: You’ll come back stronger tomorrow!

↳y/n_rb: I’ll come back with my fightin’ hands

↳maxverstappen1: …sure.

↳y/n_rb: how are you so chronically offline?

↳maxverstappen1: I have a life.

↳y/n_rb: just say you hate me and move one

↳user3: damn girl — fighting both the track and the teammate…

↳y/n_rb: not very demure or mindful…

oscarpiastri: skill issue I guess

↳y/n_rb: I am in your wall pastry boy

↳oscarpiastri: you are very rat like I guess…

↳y/n_rb: 🔪🔪🔪🔪

↳oscarpiastri: 😱😱😱

↳redbullracing: no threatening other drivers please! Page number 83

↳user4: free my girl! She did everything you’re saying but it’s funny af

↳y/n_rb: I like you!

redbullracing: the engineers say thank you!

↳y/n_rb: I say thank you!

redbullracing

liked by maxverstappen1, y/n_rb, lewishamilton, and 2,834,924 others

tagged: y/n_rb, maxverstappen1

redbullracing: and that’s how you do it! That’s a 1-2 for our drivers with y/n_rb getting her maiden win here in Saudi Arabia!

view all comments

user5: THATS OUR GIRL!!

user6: woohoo!!! What a terrific race!

maxverstappen1: Fantastic race today y/n!

↳y/n_rb: THANK YOU!!!

charles_leclerc: Félicitations!

↳y/n_rb: thank you better French man!!

↳charles_leclerc: I AM NOT FRENCH! I AM MONÉGASQUE!

↳y/n_rb: that’s not what arthur_leclerc says…

pierregasly: great race today y/n!

↳y/n_rb: did anyone hear anything? Cause it sounded like someone who HATES WOMEN IS TALKING TO ME

↳pierregasly: I DONT HATE WOMEN. STOP SAYING THAT I DO

↳pierregasly: francisca.cgomes some help here?

↳francisca.cgomes: wow…I didn’t know you thought this way Pierre…

↳pierregasly: not you too…

↳y/n_rb: 🤭🤭🤭

↳user7: looks like someone holds a grudge…

↳y/n_rb: looks like 2 different people need to choke on an 🍎… pierregasly user7

↳redbullracing: Page number 83!!

↳y/n_rb: 🥹🥹🥹

y/n_rb

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and 1,224,924 others

y/n_rb: MAMA I DID IT!! FIRST RACE AND I WON!! PODIUM WITH LEWIS AND MAX!!! WOOHOO 🥳

view all comments

user8: are you crying right now?

↳y/n_rb: holding back the tears as I type

↳user8: demurely? Mindfully?

↳y/n_rb: tbh desperately

↳user8: 😂😂

lewishamilton: Congratulations y/n!

↳y/n_rb: oh my god thank you so much sir Lewis Hamilton! And again I’m so sorry for nearly bowling into you!

↳user9: who is this polite young lady and where is the feral driver I follow?

↳y/n_rb: listen when it’s sir Lewis Hamilton you better believe I’m on my best behavior

↳user9: understandable. Carry on

oscarpiastri: congrats you gremlin!

↳y/n_rb: listen here Aussie I know where you live and your mothers and sisters like me more

↳oscarpiastri: 🙄🙄

↳y/n_rb: nicolepiastri Oscar is bullying me!!

↳oscarpiastri: don’t bring my mom into this!

↳nicolepiastri: be nice Oscar! And y/n_rb dear come visit when in Australia! We’ll save you a seat at the dinner table!

↳y/n_rb: thank you mama Piastri!

↳oscarpiastri: mom!

Taglist

@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby @freyathehuntress @angelluv16 @nichmeddar @mxm47max @voidvannie @justaf1girl

[carbonfiction]

what would logan or franks reaction be to their s/o starting the pill😏😏😏*wink wink*

Ooooh anon this is a fantastic question <3

Now, in my mind i feel like they would both have very different reactions so let me walk ya through..

Warnings: obviously mentions of unprotected sex, the pill, creampies, pregnancy risk and allll that fun stuff. Smige of breeding kink? Mention of animal instincts?? (I got on a feral little soap box im sorry) swearing, plus a lil mention of franks child loss? Idk if it really needs tagging since its a tiny mention?

Starting with Logan, (And this goes for most versions however heavvvvy on trilogy) i feel he would immediately become a little more... Possessive? Even feral? If you started the pill for whatever reason.

Especially when it came to sex; you'd both gotten used to protection and even the pull out method (sometimes you just needed to feel each other raw and god.. How could either of you protest when it just feels so good)

You being on the pill would 1000% send his little pushed down animal instincts into overdrive then. Suddenly he's filled with the need to breed you in some way; to stake a claim even. practically scenting you, pawing and grabbing twice as much whenever your close. Even if you didnt tell him straight away; he can smell the shift. Pick up the way your hormones change and adapt.

And boy the first time you give him the freedom to cum wherever he wants in bed? Not a drop is going to waste. There is not a single moment when he even considers pulling out; not anymore. The sight of your plush pussy leaking with him? His cum pearly and threatening to drip out of you? Ohhh logan is gone. He is a man possessed (frankly couldn't care less in the moment if he did knock you up with the stuff he says)

Not only is he cooing in your ear about how perfect you feel around him bare; but offering a glimpse of that possessive, animalistic nature. Hes gonna fuck you full, no questions asked. Grunting and growling against your neck as he looses track of his mouth.

"Gonna cum princess, fuck you full where it should be, getcha all swollen hm?" "i know.. I know.. Poor pussys just begging me for it" "such a perfect girl takin my cock like this, almost begging to make me a daddy" "thatttttt's it, you just take it.. Let me get that pretty body pumped full'a my cubs."

-...-....-....-...-...--...-....-....-...-...--...-....-....-...-...-

Whereas for Frank? For Frank i personally feel its very different.

Infact, at the start he's almost daunted at the implication. In his mind theres a seed of doubt; a little nagging 'what if' in the back of his head ingrained. 'what if something happens? if he gets you pregnant?'

Because lets face it, He's done the kids thing; hes done the loosing kids thing too. And theres just somthing about the idea of letting himself release inside that just.. Brings that all back in a strange way.

Even when Frank knows how generally reliable these things are now, even when hes grilled your doctor about it to be certain. Theres a nagging little memory of the days of him and Maria he just cannot seem to shift.

So I feel like with that in mind it would actually take him a while to get comfortable with the idea; to see that you aren't going to wake up one morning knocked up.

But once he does get comfortable? It certainly becomes a way for him to sort of.. Further? The intimacy of sex? A hand on your jaw, another on your hip keeping your body close. A way for him to almost confirm that you are his and he his yours, that your it for each other, without having to explicitly do the talking.

Thats not to say hes not cooing in your ear either though, because he is. However Frank is offering praise, and worship rather than for filling a breeding instinct you know?

"So fuckin perfect ain't ya sweetheart" "atta girl..takin my cock so good" "gonna make me cum sweetheart, feel so good you know that?" "shh, shh i know, I've gotcha, just let it go.." "my girl, my gorgeous girl.. Mine"

Hopefully those are a good answer and i absolutely lovvvve talking about these guys so asks are always more than open for anything at all!! I am always willing to yap <3

[isuggestforcefem]

started dating a cute twink, who ive known for about three years prior to this. he currently uses he him so thats what im going for for now... i'm a trans woman, having had socially transitioned since 2020 and being on estrogen since april. anyway i didnt have feelings for him until this summer, when i started, like, sensing something. i wasn't sure what it was, but now i'm completely certain that it's the feelings he has for me, his totally being an egg that hasn't cracked yet, some latent undiscovered potential of spirit, or a mixture of the three. we've been getting closer and closer to each other over time, moving into a massive grey area that I decided to turn into a completely certain, yes-we-are-a-thing. I'm bisexual leaning heavily toward women, you see, but i thought i'd make an allowance this time. today we went on a fantastic date, and i gave him what i suspect was his first kiss. the energy is still electric now that he's gone.

not what this is about, though. you see, as i've got closer to this person i've gradually understood that there's something extremely transgender going on with him- at least, as far as i can intuit. Over a year ago, I brought up the days when i was just questioning to another transgender friend, and he just sorta piped up, said "i've thought about it," and completely refused to elaborate. i still remembered that and i thought that our first date would be a nice time to discuss it- that flustered him real good, but he did mention that he perchance probably maybe might be transfem, but he's got school, so...

of course, the thing about girls like her is it's *never* the right time.

but whatever. i laid off, but intermittently i did what i do best and joked about him being transgender, and you know what? he never denied it, or confirmed it. he just stayed in that space between acceptance and denial, blushed and laughing. we're a relationship of comfort, you know? it's *comfortable* being around each other. it's *comfortable* not choosing trans or cis, just letting time pass. but god, i don't know, i want more for her! he's a sweet, adorable person now, but i know there's something inside him that's just so much more than this. i want it to get out. i want her to get out.

but the more i think about it the murkier it gets. he's so into me- do i hold the power here? is it better to wait for him to walk into womanhood, or should i be more active in encouraging him? i know i'm right, but what if i'm not, am i going to cause him dysphoria down the line? am i afraid of being a predator here because of internalized transmisogyny? am i overthinking this, should i just let it happen? for the record, he *does* seem to totally enjoy being a femboy- granted, that could go either way.

i've penned you an entire novel here, i recognize that and if you don't want to read this through or advise me that's just fine. if you'd like, you can leave this message out for your follower base or just save it in your inbox forever. but- i would LOVE your advice, ms forcefem. i do believe you're the one person to ask who would understand my position the best. thank you!

You should gently push her, help her down that path, make sure she feels safe to explore it! Girls like that will invent all sort of excuses to stay in denial, and you have to show her what she could have, the joy!

[libraford]

Can you teach me about compost bc I am too afraid to start and its making me feel really dumb and small

I'm gonna be real honest.

I'm doing it stupid.

I've been doing it for four years stupid and so far the results have been fantastic. I have so much nice dirt now!

I decent compost bin is just a box with no bottom that sits on top of your lawn. You want it to not have a bottom because you want to attract worms and isopods because they help with the decomposition by eating stuff. If your box has a bottom, worms can't get to it. Get a bottomless box.

Here's my bottomless box

Throw stuff in it.

The kind of stuff you throw in the bottomless box depends on your lifestyle. I drink a lot of coffee, we eat a lot of eggs, and last August I spent three days straight cutting the yard because the grass got too tall and someone called the cops on us so there was a huge pile of grass clippings in the middle of the yard.

So my compost is mostly coffee grounds, eggshells, and grass clippings. If my vegetables go bad in the fridge, they go in the compost. When the garden is done for the season I cut it all down and it goes in the compost.

I'm told you're not supposed to put processed things like bread or sugar in the compost. Also meat. You're not supposed to put meat in the compost.

And then every six months or so, you open up the compost box and see what kinds of dirt you got there and give it a good stir. If the dirt is looking good, you can use it in your garden. If there's still a lot of stuff thats not broken down yet, let it sit a month longer or so and see what's happening.

There's a possibility that I'm doing it wrong, but my raised beds are looking amazing and last year I got SO MANY BEANS

[tiredfox64]

I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A VISION FROM THE ELDER GODS!

You can see from miles away that Bi Han is touch starved as hellll, im talking STARVING.... so I honestly see that man just feeling turned on from simple kisses. Like, 1 min of kisses, BAM, ready to go! I feel like that intimacy may get him going, since thats a rare thing in his life

This isn't a request for a fic ( unless you want it to be 👀 ) but I am obsessed with Bi Han and I just realised this while drinking my coffee this morning

Just Some Kisses

Prior notes: I fuck with your vision! So I did something short cause how could I not work with that even though this was not originally a request.

Pairing: Bi-Han x Gn reader

Warnings ‼️: Suggestive hehe

You were feeling extra lovey today. Just the sight of your boyfriend made you all giggly and your heart warm up like a cast iron on a hot Arizona day in July. Okay, maybe not that hot but you get the picture. Fresh baked cookies kind of warm. Yeah, that’s better.

You were practically skipping over to Bi-Han’s office where you strolled in all innocently. He didn’t look up but he knew it was you walking in. Usually you would sit next to him or anywhere else in his office when you came to spend time with him. Nope. Today was different. Your seat would be Bi-Han himself.

You came closer to Bi-Han and started straddling his lap. You caught him by surprise. This was the first time you ever did this. He’s not complaining surprisingly.

He was about to question you until he felt your lips on his face. All over his face actually. You were leaving kisses wherever you could as you held his face in a loving manner. His cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, even neck. You didn’t see it but Bi-Han was starting to blush. Awww he likes it.

He didn’t know what to do with his hand. No one has ever done this to him or given him this much attention. His hands were gripping the arms of his chair while you were kissing his neck. You heard him make a low growling noise that you took as a sign of delight. You were right but he was also struggling to contain himself.

When you started making out with him that was the hardest part for Bi-Han. Feeling your soft lips against his was pleasurable torture especially once you slipped your tongue into his mouth. Your hands were feeling him up. One hand was sliding down his chest while the other went to his hair, letting his hair down from its once tight bun. Damn! This felt too fantastic for him. Your fingers running through his hair was the final nail in the coffin. You felt his hands grab onto you and squeezed you gently. He let out a groan before tearing his face away from you.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” You asked innocently.

Oh you sure did do something.

Bi-Han pushed you down on his lap more and you finally felt his hard on. How the heck did you miss his bulge?! You saw how embarrassed Bi-Han was. He was all hot and bothered, not very used to being kissed, touched, and loved this much. You didn’t even mean to get him started like this. The man was really struggling to hold himself back. He froze the arms of the chair trying to contain himself. But now that you know…ah fuck it!

With one arm he picked you up while the other arm swept his desk clean of anything. Every paper and writing utensil fell to the ground. He placed you on his desk, pressing himself against you. Now you’re the priority. The work can wait, he can’t. He’s all horned up and ready to go! Don’t make him wait any longer after you teased him like that.

You didn’t even mean it but okay, go off I guess.

Well, hope you have fun—oh my gosh

Oh damn is he gonna pay to fix your clothes?

Wow, i didn’t know you were that flexible!

I’ve never seen that position before WHEN DID HE LEARN THAT?!

You two are making a lot of noise…oh…he wants that…cool.

The desk is squeaking HAVE SOME MERCY!

Woah! Alright! That’s a lot that came out!

You uh…you need a tissue? Or some Bounty paper towels? A towel actually?

He definitely was touched starved, ohhh mighty.

After notes: You spat this vision out at me. I’m more of a tea vision kind of person but coffee visions work too.

[pedge-page]

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife : Smooches

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Notes: written in honor of the fabulous and fantastic @romanarose birthday today!!! 🎂 I would not be writing Pedro fics if it were not for their fantastic stories that got me hooked so everyone PLEASE wish our lord and Savior the bestest birthdays of all!

- - - -

Joel knew pregnancy brain was out of wack when you started slamming the table with a fork and knife at 5pm like a senior citizen demanding dinner.

"I aint got anything you aren't gonna throw up later. We're going out," he states with hands planted on his hips.

"Ooh yay!" You wiggle out of your chair and grab your purse. "Jone's steakhouse?"

"If that's what you want."

"But you have to ALSO want it. Or it feels like you don't want it and makes me feel like I'm dragging--"

"JUST. get in the car, sweetie," he grits with a fake smile, opening the door.

-

Dinner was good. Steak was solid. You complained it wasn't salty enough even after you dumped the entire shaker onto each slice. But now that both your bellies are full and satisfied, with you rubbing your exceptionally swollen one happily, the drive home was finally peaceful.

Until you kept smacking your lips. The quiet air was filled with schmockschmockschmock sounds from your beautiful but ever so annoying mouth.

Joel clears his throat but keeps his eyes forward and mouth shut. Just gotta get you into bed and it's a sold evening.

He hears you digging in your purse, scavaging deeply for--

"Oh no. Nononononono!" You shriek, hands splitting the seam of the bag open to dump out all its contents on your lap.

"What, what's wrong?"

After clearly seeing all pockets were empty, you shout, "Oh my god noooo! Oh god please don't be happening."

"What you forget your phone? Wallet?" He asks worriedly.

Instead of just outright answering him (because thats just ridiculous) you start panting heavily and tearing up. "I cant live. I need it Joel."

"Need--need what baby? Just tell me, I'll make it right."

But you're too hysterical and hyperventilating  at his brain dead question to give him the answer.

Roll with the punches, Miller. Stay calm. Resolve.

"Okay it's OK probably just sitting on the ground at the restaurant. I'm turning around, okay baby? Please calm down, we're gonna get it back."

Joel explains to the host that you just saw 15 minutes ago that his wife (he gestures to his obviously pregnant and agitated , volcanic explosion of a meltdown wife who's having a panic attack) forgot something and would like to check the table again to find it.

The host rushes the two of you back to the table to avoid mount doom from exploding.

But after thoroughly searching for something that only YOU know what is missing, absolutely nothing comes up around the table that doesn't belong to said restaurant and table.

"What did you lose?" He finally asks hesitantly. It MIGHT help to know. "Phone? Wallet?"

You take a deep breath, eyes swollen and red, cheeks blown warm and shiny with tears as the world crashes around you at the devestating realization that its GONE gone:

"My LIP MOISTURIZER!"

You slug your shoulders and tilt your head back to wail in the middle of this albeit emptying restaurant while Joel and everyone pauses to quietly stares at you.

Joel's expression with an edge of disbelief and exhaustion.

He takes you by the hand as you still cry, thanks the host with a wave and gets your fat ass in the truck.

"We got more at home... right?"

"Joel!!" You snap. "If I HAD another one, I'D BE USING IT! I wasn't finished with the last one! Everything will be wrong if I open a new one when I still has the other one every day for 6 months!"

"You've had this one chapstick since I got you pregnant?"

"LIP. MOISTURIZER." You throw yourself back into the comfy seat. "You only like kissing me when it's moist and pleasant and NOW you won't like me--"

"Babe I never even knew you had stuff on--"

"WELL NOW YOU WILL because it won't be on and everything is RUINED! I have to over compensate for your dry peely nasty crunchy flaky dead lips, but now you won't love me and our baby because I won't have silky smooth moist plushy baby girl lips and then my husband won't have juicy sucker's to suck on when we make out and get his fat cock sucked by my once pillowy beautiful lush lippy lips...!" and then you start sobbing again.

He shakes his head. "Listen, how about I get you some more first thing tomorrow morning--"

"Tonight!"

"Right, tonight. That's what I said." He gulps hard. "And uh, you'll be... coming with me?"

You slowly turn your head and narrow your eyes. He does now see the clock is 8pm, sharply past your self imposed bed time.

"I meant you'll be coming with me... as I drop you off at the house. Then I'll go back out."

You nod as if saying 'that's more like it,' before folding your arms over your chest.

He squeezes his eyes shut and internally rolls them as hard as possible.

-

The closest 24/7 general store was 10 minutes thankfully. He grabbed a handful of different flavor chapsticks and dumps them on your lap--

"Joel what the FUCK are these."

"Chap--!"

"I WANTED LIP. MOISTURIZER! NIVEA! EOS! VASELINE! NOT THIS CHEAP SHIT."

He growls--not this shit again. He has flashbacks of the taco yackies incident roll through his mind. "YOU ASKED FOR CHAPSTICK! I GOT EXACTLY THAT!"

"Chapstick is a BRAND name. This stuff makes my lips burn and feels even drier. Joel do you SEE my lips!" You point both fingers directly at your mouth and purse out. "DRY. AS. FUCK. these are NOT dick sucking lips.  They will start fucking peeling soon.  and then I don't know if I will be able to kiss my own baby's noggin when she's first born less she be DISGUSTED--"

Hes back in the car before you were even done yelling.

Back at the store. Staring at the wall of different lip care options. This is 10x worse than the tampon and pad aisle. THAT one he's a pro in. Pussy King expert for all its needs. Even shows other women that come back exactly where and what they're looking for. But this shit??

There's so many flavors. Why does the flavor matter? Cherry red, cherry blossom, cherry berry--what the fuck is the difference? One says lip moisturizer, the same one next to it says lip care, then lip cream, lip balm, lip lush, lip lotion... fuck.

He does the sensible thing: pulls one of every single item into his arms, struggling but managing to hold haphazardly close to his chest (the man doesn't get a basket for shit because he only comes on for the exact ONE thing he knows he's getting). When he hobbles to the tired cashier, he leans forwards and dumps it all the counter with a sad smile. A smile of which drops quickly when the total comes to exceed $85.

-

9:14pm. Could be worse. You're eating a bag of extra salted chips--which he suspects is only going to make the lip situation worse but whatever. One by one, he basketball chucks them into your lap. You inspect each one, scoffing at all the useless flavor ones that just don't work, until finally holding up the vanilla honey extra moistening stick. You rip it from the package, pop the lid off and slather that shit on with a orgasmic groan, rolling your eyes back as it glides over and over your lips repeatedly. You smack them to spread evenly, all shiny and pretty before nodding approval.

Joel sighs and tosses himself on the couch, head first into your lap. You rub his hair and continue watching the TV, gnawing at the chips carefully so as not to ruin your fresh lips, as he falls asleep and snores deeply.

It lasts for a minute before both you and he feel something small against his temple stir in your belly.

He sits up like rocket, and the two of you stare at one another in shock. You both slowly look down at the belly, hands crept over its rounded expanse, and wait.

Then--an almost inperceivable yet delicate tiny kick. The first one.

Neither of you have words as excitement floods your faces.

"See. Even the BABY needs the best kissy lips."

He grabs your face with both hands and smashes his lips onto yours like he's gonna suck your soul away.

When he finally pulls off with a big grin (and you thrown back against the couch with a delirious expression getting oxygen back to your brain while your pussy drips fresh juices onto the couch), he smacks his lips tastily and enjoying the soft, silky, honey sweetness of your lips.

"Oh fuck, that is good."

You grip his shirt and force him back down to make out with you again, falling sideways on the couch as you both hungrily grope each others' bodies.

-

The next day you find your brand new lip moisturizer missing. It's set in the bathroom vanity, somewhere you did NOT left it. When popping it open, it has suspicious short little whisker hairs stuck to it. You frown but plant it back where you find it, run behind the door, and wait. About 2 minutes later, Joel comes in, searches behind him around the room before sneaking the little stick off the counter and hustling to the bed. He lies on his back, pops it open, and greedily smears it all over, humming contently and whispering "mmm yeaaaahhhh" before smacking his lips and pursing them out.

You fall over giggling in the bathroom at his new found guilty pleasure.

- - - -

Taglist

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow

[noxlotl]

Hello! So sorry to bother you if this was asked before, but I really enjoy looking at your animations and progress throughout 2023-2024 and it inspires me so much!! So could you please tell how do you learn animation? Where did you begin? Did you just watch some pro animators and learn from them all by yourself or did you attend any courses?

Your artworks are really fascinating and fantastic and I just can't stop looking at them, you are a great artist! I wish to learn more from you :]

Thank you for your time and have a nice day!!

(apologies for the late response i rarely open tumblr on PC;;o;;)

I learned animation basically by just watching tutorials online^^ Alan Becker's animation principle video is a great introduction. I also learned a lot by scrubbing animation clips, I use the video player Keyframe MP to go through a video frame by frame. It helped me learn about timing and spacing, as well as how pros push dynamic poses. Sakugabooru is a good site to find amazing animation clips (shame the UI is shit haha) Settei dreams has some great anime artbooks. It also helps having someone critic your work?idk how to find that tho, a discord server might help but of course youd have to make sure thats someone who actually knows what theyre talking about lol ((quick storytime: Years ago, I once got invited to this learning animation server and as a newbie they were so helpful and inspiring (they were more advance than me) and now a lot of the people who were there , I now see in credits of really amazing animated series/projects .Really happy for them : D )) In case you wanna go for making YT animatics , I suggest learning a bit about storyboards ( for better compositions) .

Thank you so much^^ I'm still learning and have actually been slacking on that department ( been focusing on illustrations lol). I'm happy you find my silly drawing inspiring ~ <3

[adams-angels]

hello! May I have a part 2 of Adam's revenge? It's really made my day btw —

Oooh a two parter? You bet! As I was writing I figured this would be the end but .... I think a part 3 might be called for :3c

💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖

Revenge 😈 pt 2

You can't believe it. No way. No fucking way. You pace your bedroom floor, hand pulling at your hair. You cheated. On your husband. He'll kill you. Right? I mean, he's the king of HELL and you betrayed him.

"and with YOU! Of all the fucking people in the heavens and hells I fucked you!" You turn to the bed where Adam lies, feeling proud of himself after multiple rounds. "What? You liked it." He smirked as he watched your eventual break down. You pick up his robe from the floor and shoved it into his arms. "You need to leave!" Quickly pulling him to his feet and pushing him towards the balcony. "Woah, woah! What's the rush, babe!" He sounded so smug right now. You hated it. You push in on to the balcony, he turns to face you just as you about to shut the doors. "What? No kiss goodbye?" He teased. "AUGH!" You slam the doors shut and close the curtains.

You can hear him laugh before hearing him shuffle on his robe and flying away. You rush to the bed pulling the sheets off that was covered with your combined fluids. But it wasn't enough, you could still smell him. You took the pillows and the duvet. Still the bed itself was tainted by his smell. "No, no, no..."

You found yourself standing outside, your whole bed burning in hellfire as you smoked a cigarette. Blowing out smoke and flicking the cigarette into the fire you sigh. "Never again."

You returned to the bedroom, opening the balcony doors and all the windows in the room to get "fresh" air. In your vendetta against the bed you didn't notice that Adams mask was still there on the floor. You didn't give it him and he didn't pick it up. Your heart fluttered as you picked it up. Your hand cupping the cheek of the mask wishing it would be his face. You scowled at yourself before dropping the mask in disgust. No way did you just think that. You picked the mask back up like it was a dirty sock and tried thinking what do with it. Hellfire wouldn't burn it. You don't think you can destroy it... You walk towards your wardrobe and hide it on the top shelf. Your short king would never. You hoped...

～⁠♡✧⁠｡ I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! ｡✧⁠♡～⁠

Extermination day came to an end, you'd have a week before Lucifer would come back. You spent that time cleaning the bedroom, avoiding the wardrobe all together. Ordered a new bed. Made your bedroom all pretty for you husbands return. The love of your after life. Your man. Adam. I MEAN LUCIFER!!!!! You start cleaning the bedroom again.

"so... Extermination day. I hope you didn't get into any bother, my dear." He took your hand, pulling your closer. You were surprised by the affection you were recieving. "Well.. it's the same as every year." You chuckled awkwardly. Why was he asking? Does he know? "I'm sorry I have to leave for so long. But don't worry. That changes today!" He dip kisses you. You pull away. "O-oh? Thats... That's fantastic! Yay!" It didn't feel fantastic. You should be happy your husband will be with you, the deadliest day of the year. But no.. you feel.. sad... That means you won't be able to see Adam.

Half way through scrubbing the floor you see feet. Looking up you see Lucifer smiling with his hands behind his back. "Hello, my darling." He smiled softly at you. How could you do this to him. "Lucifer! You're home early." His gives you his hand to help you up from the floor. "Yes, well.." you hesitate before taking his hand. "I have a suprise for you." You watch as you brings his hand from behind his back to reveal a little duck, that looks like you. Your heart shattered. Not that you let it show. "Oh, Lucifer, thank you. That's very sweet." You cradle the duck in your hands before giving you husband a peck on the lips.

"Uh, Lucifer... Do you think you could start calling me.... Babe?" You winced at your own question. "Uh, of course. Anything for you.. babe."

[kindestofkings]

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead [2/3]

[smau]

f1driver!reader x lando norris (eventually, friends to lovers ofc)]

authors note: THANK YOU SOOO much for the love on part one guys I'm so overwhelemed 🥺 hope you guys enjoy this next part <33

yourusername 

Liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now

Why? Oh, 'cause she's about kick off her first season with ferrari xx

view all 580 comments 

landonorris shes in her reputation era 💅

yourusername i've trained you so well

ynfan1 I'm so excited to see you in that red car ❤️🔥

Racerbia I can't believe my bestie is a FERRARI DRIVER

yourusername I know can you believe it!! best of luck with your season this year <33

charles_leclerc I did not know you joining the team would result in me learning so many taylor swift lyrics

landonorris just you wait until she starts sending you fan theories.. yourusername charlie you'd get an A in taylor swift theory and lyric knowledge, dont fight it !! f1fan she calls him charlie they have to be dating!

ynfan1 charles_leclerc what's your favourite Tswift album?

charles_leclerc I think its Red charles_leclerc (TAYLOR'S VERSION THO) yourusername phew that was a close one

​​taylorswift never seen a getaway car driver look so good, knock em dead 🖤

yourusername omgomgomgomgomgomg mother, I mean miss Swift its an honour landonorris oh thats why shes inconsolably crying alex_albon is that what that scream was? ynfan2 shes been broken

scuderiaferrari

liked by yourusername and others 

scuderiaferrari red era vibes with our dynamic duo locking it down here in bahrain! our two drivers are ready for sunday 👊

view all 290 comments

ynfan1 the power of yourusername, converting the whole ferrari team into being swifties 😂

yourusername you know it! I'm a swiftie first, a media nightmare second and THEN a f1 driver

f1fan enough with the pop culture comparisons. what matters is the race, not taylor swift. Let the performance do the talking

ynfan2 how sad is your little life??

yourusername 

 liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername P3 babyyy, while your out here running your mouth still I'm busy getting on to that podium. Bahrin you were beautiful, thank you to the team and to charles for all the support this weekend, and just in general ❤️

congrats maxverstappen1 on opening the season with such a surprising (not) win! was a fun fight 😂

view all 290 comments

maxverstappen1 think you going to be a reoccurring problem now!

yourusername it me hi! im the problem its me xx (liked by taylorswift and others)

ynfan1 I never expected the f1/taylor swift cross over but i love this

f1fan making the tifosi so proud  👊❤️

maxfewtrell fantastic drive, so proud!!!

yourusername maxi my boy <3

charles_leclerc posted to their story!

-@carlossainz55 would never have done this to me 😞

f1wagsupdates

liked by yncharlesshipper and others

f1wagsupdates in the week coming to the monaco grand prix, it appears the two ferrari drivers are spending time together with leclerc's family! seems like a bit more than just teammate bonding 👀

view all 290 comments

yncharlesshipper wow the family, must be serious

ynlando4ever please please please be besties

ynfan1 its getting hard to be delulu about this 😀

yourusername posted a photo to their story!

Mwahahahah mama leclerc the women than you are

replies

charles_leclerc when did this exchange happen 😂 arthur_leclerc 😂 😂 😂 😂 landonorris troy bolten and justin beiber call they want hair tips x

yourusername

 liked by susie_wolff and others 

yourusername MONACOOOO its race day and you best believe I'm bringing my A game in defensive racing. il predestinato will break his monaco curse if its the last thing I do 😤

charles_leclerc starting p1 go slay this thing bestie!!

view all 486 comments

charles_leclerc the best 👊

scuderiaferrari teamwork makes the dream work 🔥

f1fan gasly could NEVER with the teamwork

ynfan1 ouch that bestie has gotta hurt 😬

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername and others

charles_leclerc best. day. ever.

winning in red and winning at home has always been the dream, thank you thank you everyone for the support in getting here! special thanks to yourusername for the incredibly defense and helping reach my dream 🫶

this one's for you, monaco!

view all 1k comments

scuderiaferrari we always knew you could do it 👊🔥

yourusername CHARLIEEE always knew you could do it !

carlossainz55 amazing felicidades

charles_leclerc thank you thank you

maxverstappen1 hate to lose but congrats mate!

pierregasly living out your destiny 💪 that was all you charles!

ynfan1 pierre try not to make a petty comment challenge: FAILED (liked by yourusername)

f1fan monaco belongs to you, il predestinato!!!

yourusername posted a photo to their story!

they both prefer each other over me guys help 😭😭

replies

landonorris my best girl 🥰 -> me?? so kind! landonorris 😑😑

I just tagged a few peps that I thought were waiting out for part 2! let me know if you're not comfortable being tagged :))

taglist: @kissesandmartinis @kissesandmartinis @vellicora @reidside @leclercin16

2/3 , part three is coming later tonight its gonna be fluffy i promise 💓