#thats how ppl consume things now

[gunsatthaphan]

me carefully checking twitter to see if the LOL cringefest is over and I can resume my normal online activity

[vriendenboekjes]

clicked on a video titled "what makes a poem good?". creator starts comparing a poem from 1919 to something from atticus. i scroll to the description. creator implies there must be something wrong with "contemporary" poetry. nooooo hahahaha baby dont fall for the fascist idea that everything old must be better

[triangulum-theory]

Wistfully thinks of Spellwind, I should make a headcanons up to ep 31 list its just my equivalent of like Skyrim or lotr where theres so much going on and so dense but god damn one of my favorite episodes was when two of my favorite characters became trees and the entire experience was like...they were tripping on shrooms but also one with the shrooms? Its like episode 8

and I love the dms orc captain that hates going on land and is there for the in between transportation from sea to sea land to land ferryman (not really I feel like its mostly hard to narrate and have a character at the same time) I just love captain buttocks' (yeah I'm pretty sure thats his name) humor and how him and djett ('jet') were closer in the beginning

I love ty and varsha together but I also ship smith with them as time went on, I can't tell who I want to joke as the third smith and varsha are friends to lovers, ty and varsha are irritated assholes to lovers, smith is just a jaded old fuck that loves his morons (he respects varsha a lot and thinks ty is an entertaining idiot)

Varsha and Djett are siblings they love each other like family and share different spells and potions and knowledge of interest notes

I feel like the only person really thinking too deeply about this tabletop story and wanted to drop a few lines of appreciation, I like listening to it to go to sleep since its so slow paced and gently spoken and the music and sound efx is so sweet

[arolesbianism]

Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔

[kicksnscribs]

So seeings how ai work still fucks me up at the mere thought of it maybe just maybe i can get over it if i vent my frustrations out on it here?

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

shuro notes

upon rereading some of dungeon meshi, I got a better grasp on his role in the story and why hes in the main supporting cast along w kabru (main protag of the suporting cast), namari, and mithrun (main antag of the supp cast) . Contrary to most of the characters disliking eating monsters, he seems to dislike eating, period. In his first appearance he refuses to eat maizurus cooking (with maybe some mermaid eggs sprinkled in..?). His refusal to eat ties into his extreme passivity. He seems to dislike how his father does what he pleases with no regard to how it affects others, and his fear of doing the same seems to play a huge role in how he lets other ppl walk all over him. He ignores his own desires, including his own hunger, because consuming means taking another life. To live means something else has to die, so to desire is to want to take from others. To try to live up to the image of an impassive leader he tries to not participate in this process at all! But bc hes a human being he has to eat, so instead of never taking from others, he starves.

With Falin, I think he realizes there is a way forward where he could be himself and face the ugly realities of what it means to want. To be unabashedly yourself while not hurting everyone in your life. His love comes from a deep place of admiration! I think part of the reason why he's so dead set on saving her is bc he wants to be her equal—she saved him from his nightmares without a second thought, and part of it is to repay her kindness and to be able to reciprocate it. I think he foils nicely w marcille bc he proposes to her (asks her to choose her future) while marcille doesnt want her to move on from the time they were both children. I think this plays a huge part in why marcille hates him, bc its a reminder of how the time will pass and also he aims to take falin away from her. Interestingly, she also became fairly distant and withdrawn after falin left and they both formed their relationship w her bc dirt and bugs r cool. They both are the party members in Laios squad that fly off the handle the most. Socioeconomically, they both seem to be in the least dire straits and kinda prissy abt things as a result. On re-read something else clicked into place.

After his fight w laios that starts w legit grievances and devolves into him hitting all of laios’ insecurities like a game of whack-a-mole, shuro says he’s returning to his home country and after that he would never see any of these ppl again. Even before falin got eaten, he knew he was going to have to leave the party but couldnt bring himself to tell them. The way the convo goes, it seems part of the reason why he proposed to her so suddenly is bc he wants to take a part of his time on the island back home with him—i.e. that hes not ready to say goodbye. That the prospect was taken from him so suddenly is why this is the first thing hes asked for or wanted for himself. Interesting parallels to how marcille is not ready to live the rest of her 1000 year life without her friends now, and how falins death is a catalyst that brings her fear to the surface—that for both of them, theyll live the rest of their lives never seeing the ppl they love from this island again. I think part of the reason he is so nasty to laios in particular is bc his entire worldview falls apart at laios' actions

Both desire wise and literally, Shuro is starving. And like a starving person getting his first meal in a long time, I think he gets a little greedy—when he gives Laios the bell, he says if the party somehow makes it past thistle, to ring it so they can all escape to the East--where he's headed. Likewise marcilles solution is to bring everyone with her to the 1000 year lifespan. Thats surprisingly childish of both of them! Also not a solution to the problem that suits anyone but themselves. Theres so many solutions to this. He could write. He could call. He could communicate view morse code using that bell instead of attempting to blink in morse code to communicate to laios how he doesnt want to be here. Falin voice: I’ll go visit you, okay? He could set foot on the island again. Honestly. This is so embarrassing for him.

But I think it gets at a core theme of the work. Marcille, Laios, and Shuro all say their greatest desire is to save Falin, but once u get down to it, theyre pretty basic-to not be left alone, to be w monsters who u feel a kinship with, to not have to leave. Namari says she left bc of money but later on goes u must never let go of your fear. Kabru says he wants to get to know laios to prevent utaya from happening again but its much simpler-he wants to be his friend. Our base desires are petty, but they are what keep us going day to day, just like how every living being has to hunger and eat to achieve the goals they set out for.

Lets talk abt his relationship w his retainers.

Hein- theyre childhood friends that have drifted apart in adulthood. By the familiar way she talks about him when hes not around, I think she wants to be close to him again. I think the distance between them is probably intentionally imposed by Shuro bc hes afraid theyll turn out like maizuru and his father. She thinks hes unreliable in a way i think u can only rlly get when u know someone for that long. I wonder if some of that I thought wed always end up together and I want him to like me even tho I dont like him back is wanting that closeness in friendship again

Maizuru- Good god whats happening here. she loves him but also treats him like a child even tho hes a 26 year old man. I think its got fun connections to how kabrus adoptive mom treats him like a child, how marcilles not ready to see falin n herself as adults, thistles relationship w degal. Now these are all relationships where differences in lifespan come into play, but w maizuru n shuro i think u see something real banal in why these elves cant let the ppl in their lives go. She coddles him bc she loves him and tells him at the end he doesn't have to eat the dragon if he doesn't want to, but he rebukes her and says he has to eat it to accept his own failures. So like he doesn't need to be coddled he needs ppl in his life to challenge him so he can grow. And at the end he realizes it tastes good--that even tho his journey had so much conflict and in the end he failed to save falin he made friends! He grew as a person! He starts reaching out to his retainers again! He got to harrass the elf cops and give them migraines! Ties a lot into laios speech to marcille that if falin didnt die they wouldn't have met all these ppl and gotten to eat all this food.

Its wild she put that hag curse on him. Poor kid cant even take a shit in peace. Actually the fact that he couldnt even have that time for himself n grew up constantly feeling watched explains a lot. I think the fact his father nonchalently burnt it and then roasted mochi over it without giving him any explaination made him think oh this is just what everyone goes through and im the weird one for being frightened. And it takes him 20 years to find out that no, its not normal to be haunted by a ghost that chases you with a knife. Pretty apt metaphor for how rules have defined his life without him fully understanding why they're in place. I'll give it a crack tho--it seems like the time period his homelands based on the sengoku period bc its a period of heavy civil war where ppl below upsurped the ppl above them. The strict hierarchy is probably an attempt to exercise social control in an extremely precarious situation.

Also side note: kinda impressive he can do magic when he was six. Probs a combination of maizuru being a talented teacher and his own skill. The fire cast… close but no cigar. Also interesting is how the magic he casts seems more elf-y in nature vs maizurus gnomic spirit magic. I wonder if hes his partys black mage- the occupation his party is pointedly missing vs the toudens missing their white mage and kabrus party being well rounded at all points. If so thats hilarious that when the toudens lost their previous mage and everyone was panicking he was like well… im just not gonna say anything #OnBrand. I do wonder if the bell he gives laios is his own magic tho.

Also shuros mother is mad at maizuru for being shuros dads mistress but gives her her children to raise…. Lets unpack this contradiction. Incidentally my tin foil hat theory is Shuros a bastard child. maizuru n his dad have been fucking since 4ever -> one of these children is not legitiment -> probs the one w a strange distance from the rest -> whys shuro succeeding his dad so up in the air when his competitions a 14 and an 8 year old. It's not important tho.

izutsumi + inutade: the fact that he doesnt speak up is his defining moment of moral cowardice. Its tied to his passivity! Hes scared of saying or doing the wrong thing bc hes afraid of hurting others, and he does basically attempt to torch his relationship w laios like it was contaminated w anthrax. Like the first time he tries to be active it went horribly, but his involvement moves the plot forward enormously—with him kabru would not have run into Laios, izutsumi would probably not have been able to run away, he raises the stakes of the journey by indicating they probs cant return to the surface so they have to keep going. And even tho its messy, ugly, and embarassing, he can still pick up the pieces afterwards. Nothing he does is as harmful as his passivity on inutade and izutsumis situations which unequivically, he knows is wrong.

Also w all the references to buying people, I looked it up bc i was like.... like slavery...? it seems to be a reference to retainership as a social caste where people buy your services and as a result you owe the estate your service. You get paid and you have rights, but it seems like you are bound to your station, but depending on the time period japan is supposed to reference, some ppl took on these positions for the sake of social advancement. Regardless, it seems the caste system is also less rigid than stated and ppl can move amongst the positions. There doesn't seem to be an exact cultural equivelent to this, but I think the closest concept is like, being a vassal. I was like if this is slavery this narrative portrays izutsumis time w the nakamotos too ambivenlently and hien going don't you feel any gratefulness for them taking you in makes no sense. But I still think theres something pretty rotten going on here.

Allegedly, as a ninja, you ascend the ranks based on your skill. And yet izutsumi and inutade are at the bottom, and hien, the person that was born into this role, is at the top! Izutsumi and Inutade aren't even considered human in the island of wa--this distinction is given to tall-men only. Theyre both from positions where I feel like the other characters are like they should be grateful they got from one horrible situation to this one thats a system based on merit and skill, but like out of everyone, theyre in the least position of power to say no, to even appreciate what other options there are for them in the world. Like its deeply coercive and wrong. Whats up w shuros father collecting ppl like theyre trophies man. So we can see a system allegedy based on merit is not one at all. Also I feel theres undertones of japanese imperialism with izutsumi being from the equivelent of central asia and having a soul of a child stuffed into her like some kinda of science experiment. Maizurus constantly trying to "civilize" her by teaching her ettiquite such as using your chopsticks. Like the rhetoric of the elves ape pretty directly to imperialistic sentiments, it would not surprise me if theres intentional commentary about japanese imperialism in how izutsumis treated bc japans kinda known in the east for their imperialism... theyve just done it so many times like my parents were like we left our families, our culture, everything we knew behind to go to america.... but we kept our death grudge against japan tho!! #lmfao. Honestly fair. anyways i think theres intentional parallels between how izutsumi is treated as both as a child and a feral animal by maizuru and how the elves treate other races as children that need toys taken away from them. But also how fundementaly, maizurus unsuited to take care of izutsumi bc the tools she has are not suited to izutsumis needs! She has no understanding of izutsumis life. Her hag curse turns from a highly questionable child rearing tactic on shuro to outright a slave collar on izutsumi. Teaching shuro ettiquate and being able to fight gives him the tools to survive in the postion he was born in but is erasing the culture izutsumi grew up in and has been taken away from before she even knew what it meant. Bc she was treated like a circus freak she never got to choose for herself! Tho providing the basic comforts to shuro is a privilage, it's not to izutsumi bc shes never been able to choose what she wants in life. It's why shes set up as shuros narrative foil like so:

This is his pensive look btw its a consistant tic that he lookes like hes glaring when hes deep in thought. Maizurus is both these people's strange mother figure who feeds them in liu of their actual mother. She smothers shuro in love and doesn't let him face actual challenges in life while she intensely disciplines izutsumi. Shuro reacts to this by aquiessing and never making demands of his own while izutsumi constantly refuses to conform. This is probably why he doens't get her.

In the early points of the story, shuro either says leave izutsumi for dead or leave her so she can pursue her freedom. The ambiguity is intentional, because i think in this part of the story we are not supposed to have a good read on him. But it's also because because of his passivity he doesn't do shit for her! So he loses out on having any type of relationship w her even tho they were tormented by the same curse. But crucially he may have learned from this w inutade, who he explicitly aknowledges how her situation is fucked up and her worship of his father is due to an insane power imbalance even tho he has no clue how to talk to her about this. And at the very end of the manga, he gets into an eating contest with her at her prodding as equals. So maybe there's hope he can do better. But I think its important that his relationship w izutsumi is non-existent as a consequence of his passivity despite the things they have in common bc theres no excuse for it. Thier relationship probs deserves its own post.

benichidori - very funny amongst all these complicated relationships these two just straight up dont know each other n r too shy to do so. Is what I was going to say but then I realized benichidori has taken shuros place as hiens closet friend and I wonder if theres any jealousy abt that. But also she shares a lot of traits w shuro and isnt that just interesting:

but even more interesting is her comic:

this is beat for beat shuros conflict w laios.

We only care about one thing: the crushing opinion of everyone in the universe.

I didnt get this on my first read even tho laios was like hes smart but he is incredibly sharp. Hes good at making useful deductions when things dont add up. It rlly reminds u hes trained in espionage.

He keeps kabru on his toes! interesting for such a smooth talker.

He gets kabru to open up about his motivations here and how it affected him and kabru actually shares some of his own feelings on the manner when usually hes holding ppl at arms length. I think him getting a chance to recite this helps prep him to talk to the caneries where notably, hes a lot more clinical about it.

Its nice all three of these ppl can challenge each other and support each other. I think it would be funny if kabru hits em up in the future like do u wanna start some shit for old times sake

able to tell chilchuck was not a child

is afraid of marcille which tbh fantastic call

Everyone else horrified marcille just killed a man but he's like yeah #tracks.

Other things that reminded me hes basically a fixer:

Spends his screentime evading the elf cops.

Refuses to talk to the canaries even under threat of being interegated for 50 years despite threatening laios party multiple times that hes gonna tell on them. instead spends his time going tbh i've never known anything in my life. I'm stupid like that :pensive emoji:

Incredible bit of manipulation on his part-he pretends to be thinking out loud to cast doubt on the canaries judgement to appeal to the ppl in the dungeon that are not motivated by the goodness of their hearts. Reminds me of namaris relatively selfish reasons for leaving the party--needing to get paid, which is a need she was ignoring for far too long and also laios was also not paying proper attn too when namaris in dire straits, and how she says she left the party after the dragon bc she remembered to never forget your fear. That selfishness must also drive you forward. Then he uses that doubt to twist the situation to say all their information could be false so maaaybe the situation is not as dire as they claim and they have other motives (social control). And he pretends hes talking to the caneries but this is directed to everyone else. He and namari pretend to pick a fight so the leader's distracted and everyone else uses this opening to scatter, which causes enough chaos that it breaks the control the elves have. Which is wild bc shuro knows the dungeon is dangerous bc kabru told him about utaya. He also knows laios party can be dangerous w the amount of collateral they cause w the dragon. He puts a lot of ppl in danger that do not need to be even though multiple times he worries about people getting hurt. At his core, tho, I think he wants to see laios and his party again and that selfish desire trumps everything else in this moment. Namari and shuro are so ride or die TBH.

He never shares any of this when not prompted. Except notably at the end he interrupts when ppl think laios might be dead. Which as an aside I think its interesting his biggest contribution to saving falin is not thru his fighting prowess, but through the simple fact he reached out to laios. His compassions his greatest strength. Laios frestrautes him and kabru, and they both punch him and complain that theyll never understand him, but I think they dont have to. Love requires compromise—it requires eating things you really dont want to, you clash and you hurt each other, but what matters most is that you keep reaching out to one another, that you keep on trying to understand each other. Living requires you to hurt and be hurt, to give and take.

Once again stuck in the middle of an insane and ancient beef

low key funny that he remembered the last time he was here and he was like u know what.... ill just sit this one out....

If my son told me he spent the last week pissing off the elf cops, Id be like yeah thats what the nakamotos are all about TBH

Theres pretty juicy stuff abt how laios is interested in shuro because hes exotic like a monster and his own relationship with being othered by ppl and the fact that shuro is constantly referred to as a foreighner even to ppl hes known and has risked his life for for two years + how to laios monsterhood is a type of freedom while being othered is a type of dehumanization for shuro + how hes trying to show some kind of solidarity to shuro but hes microagressing him thru his attemps + how laios just is being explicitly saying the racist beliefs everyone else implicitly holds just like how mithrun says other races are inferior races which horrifies the rest of the elves but its honestly what they believe but I'm tired and need to think abt it a bit more.

Why do shuro and his party from an island primarily composed of humans and other ppl sometimes not classified as humans but have similair lifespan bc of sociopolitical reasons imitate so many interracial dynamics despite being of the same race? It's to show how marcilles wrong about how the inequality between races exists bc of lifespan differences. Her own fears due to fantastical reasons of being a half-elf and unable to relate any of her insecurities to other ppl are not exclusive to her! Tall-men - Tall-men relationships run along the same lines and have the same conflicts. All the things she fears are things that make her human, that other people have also felt.

in conclusion:

think abt the messiest person u know. Its a man

jk its marcille #feminism

[the-moon-files]

As I work on my college assignments that I have missed due to being sick I can't help but think *damn* I would absolutely hate being transported to another world due to all my responsibilities. Like, even if it was that zero time occurring between getting back home I wouldn't want that, because fuck what if time did pass? What if I got fired from my job or missed on rent and all my stuff got thrown out of my apartment?? I love the idea of being away from my responsibilities but I hate having to go back to more and more things I have to more things I have to make up or have just missed.

Anyway, my brain suddenly attached this to a reader who got stuck in the linked universe. The emotions they would go through because their mind isn't stuck on the past or present but in the future. What if they had pets? Who'd take care of them? How would they pay their bills if they got stuck in an alternate universe? It's a sudden absence of these things that really trip them up because they had so much to do and now it's all gone. They can actually live now. But also they weren't built to live life outside of the weird society we have. How can they learn to live if the way they'd been living was nothing but a mental ladder to keep up with. How can they keep going knowing that back home there are important events and people and animals that they are missing out on.

-✒️ (Sorry for the long ask I'm an a very existential mood rn)

Sorry this is such a late reply!! I've had a "fanfic author curse" kinda year tbh, so I'm just now getting back into my hobbies :/

(i just got so burnt out by life i wasn't even in the mood to play the video games, let alone touch my blogs/write for them :( which is sad bc i love talking to you guys /gen)

So, I hope this late response is okay, and college and things these days are going better for you anon!!

_

BRO RLLY DROPPED MY WORST FEARS IN MY MAIL BOX ON A GODDAMN?? WEDNESDAY EVENING??? 😭😭 /LH

NO but SERIOUSLY this is genuinely a fear ive had in realistic isekai scenario situations,

So for like a year, maybe 2 now? Ive been obsessively consuming "isekai/reincarnation/transmigration anime" or this trope that somehow someway a character is misplaced from their original timeline, maybe just mysteriously yoinked/died/possessed another body in a diff universe, whatever, either way theyre There now, in a diff universe. And animes consistently gloss over this transitional period, that i can see real ppl actually having, to just sort of accept and move on, of course yo get the plot rolling.

But i guess theres just not quite enough sort of nitty-gritty isekai content yet for anyone to get have finally made an isekai genre thing that really goes on the other side of the spectrum, where the MC is like, well, THIS^^^

Like unless ur actually a hermit, youve either pushed away all ur family anf friends or theyve passed away, and you dont have a pet, pr whatever/whoever else,

ive learned after sort of coming out of teen years/rlly long depressive episodes that, Someone will always notice you. Theyll notice youre gone, and theyll miss you.

Like ppl hit u with that angsty, "nobody cares abt me" and then when u realistically sit them down like, "okay. What about your favorite teacher? What about your best friend? What about your online friends who will never see you log on again? What about your dog?"

Like yeah, who will take care of your dog?? Becaue where im at in life, if my sibling dies, ive got no one to care about my old girl, my kitty Mia <3 whos loved me since i was 12 😭

So, ive been actually wanting to fill in somewhat this gap in isekai genre by sort of expanding on it, i mean to be honest fanfiction is the only media ive seen thats gotten close to tackling this, with any amount of realism/emotional depth it deserves.

i hope u found this any amount of satisfying response, i probably would take this is in either a complete horror fashion/tragic scenario (which i don't write that often tbh) or a sort of "angst with a happy ending" like MC/reader worrying freaking out abt homeworld but there's a portal to let you go between worlds or smth

Peace out ✒️,

🌙📁

(i found a file emoji - how do we feel abt it??)

[qiscute]

saw this rlly good post about maths and the rbs were off :-(

but anyway on the same lines as that post guys maths is important and cool and ppl who struggle w maths arent some how 'better' or 'more human' than ppl who struggle w english and media literacy

like sorry understanding books, movies, tv shows, music, ect. is actually HARD no matter how much ppl esp ppl on here like to pretend it isnt!! but thats no excuse for me to throw up my hands and forget about it all! i have to put in effort to try to understand what im reading, what im being told, and actually learn media literacy and how to interpret things

this is partly just a rant about how a lot of ppl seem to think that english and humanities subjects are just inherently better, easier and 'more human' than maths and science subjects, like bro i dont think u understand how hard english is for some ppl. i spent most of my school life failing english, despite reading a lot as a kid and still now, despite consuming lots of media and content, my brain was never 'wired' for english. im not good at finding subtext, or the implications of a text, or really anything like that

because despite what some ppl think, english isnt easy. the human brain isnt wired to just immediantly have media literacy skills. these are things ive had to learn, and practice, and i still have to do these things all the time

but that brings me to my main point: you should be doing that with maths. maths is incredibly important subject used to understand all aspects of life. basic maths skills are so important!

for a personal example, my grandmother grew up in a household where she was told, no you cant do maths, youre a girl and so you have to do feminine things and maths isnt one of them. now, 70 something years on, my grandmother:

cannot do her taxes

cannot pay her bills

cannot understand any financial documents

gets scammed often by people preying on her lack of financial knowlege

and maybe most importantly:

has never, not one day in her life, been able to live independently without someone (my grandfather or now my dad) controlling her finances

if you think that media literacy is an important skill to have in these, we'll say 'politically unstable' times (because it is!!), you should be able to understand why maths, especially financial maths, and statistics (which are constantly used to manipulate people) are so important for people, especially young people to learn.

my grandmothers lack of maths skills lead to her being trapped in an abusive marriage with my (now dead) grandfather. by the time she was able to live without him, she was almost 70 years old, her mental state rapidly declining due to illness, and now completely relying on her son (my dad) to handle her finances. she was married at 22, right after finishing nursing school and moving out of home. in short, my grandmother will have lived her entire live without a day of financial independence when she dies. all because she wasnt able to learn maths

so my point is: learn maths. i know its hard, i know many people dont have brains wired for it, but you have to do it. learn how statistics work, so you can understand when they are manipulating you. learn how financial maths works, so you arent trapped in a dangerous situation without the means to escape. you have to learn maths, just like how you have to learn media literacy, if you want to be able to move through the world freely and safely.

tl;dr: maths is just as important a skill to have as media literacy

[heart-freak]

idrk how to say this... i do like hermitcraft. i say that in most places. (long post, just a fair warning, there is a TL;DR at the very bottom)

No doubt that i love Hermitcraft. i have been watching it since 2020 near the start of season 7, which, to me, makes me a "newbie" but well time passes and rlly it doesn't matter how long youve liked smthn anyways. but its 2025 now and i still love hermitcraft. i think i love it more. i often partake in creating and consuming fanart, fanfic, and just random au ideas and other silly thoughts and posts. i enjoy it a lot i think.

i think... i dont know. well no, i do. i definitely do. i dont think i could STOP doing it, actually. but sometimes it kind of hurts or makes me feel ill physically or mentally. i kind of think about hermitcraft and feel sick but out of no amount of, hatred. not to say everything is all sunshine and rainbows bc it obviously isn't y'know but i never find myself hating or even mildly disliking it, even after so long. and this is weird let me tell you. i like a lot of other things besides hermitcraft but as far as media and online series go..? hermitcraft really stuck.

there are a lot of factors that could go into this. i got into hermitcraft when i was struggling immensely and also met many of my dearest friends through it, all during covid. so i gained an attachment to it, ok. i used roleplaying with hermits and sometimes other mcyt as a huge coping mechanism, also making AUs and whatnot too. hermitcraft is also an on-going thing. there is a lot of things to watch (new and old, if i rlly want) and many people to choose from. a lot of storylines and things to indulge in, also plenty of fanworks to get into. so you could say there's a lot of stuff to keep my attention.

you can say that's the reason i click so hard with it, and other things i like, or even other mcyt stuff, didnt come at such a hard time for me and so i dont grow the same attachment... this wouldnt be correct, however. i do have other things but im..im not constantly thinking about it. even the things i really, really love. like Guilty Gear, Pokémon, Yo-Kai Watch, Mario, the Life Series, etc...

I think about hermitcraft like everyday. it's always there. it's there when i'm bored. it's there when i'm actually watching hermitcraft. it's there when i cannot bring myself to watch any hermitcraft videos at all bc i feel so low. yes, altho i love hermitcraft i very often fall behind on videos but its, again, never out of disinterest. and i gotta say many ppl i know DO start to lose interest and dont like it as much but not me , not me.

i will be thinking about hermitcraft whenever i get into something else. i always try to make connections back to hermitcraft or think of crossover stuff. same thing with songs, i always try to think abt how this could be about hermitcraft whether it's actual stuff or an AU/fic

hermitcraft will be on my mind when my friends vent to me about serious things or rlly i see any serious topic. i,i know better than to bring that up during those times but my brain will say it to me in my head regardless. that.. that is when things turn into me feeling bad about it. bc wdym ur thinking about a minecraft smp while people talk about real things theyre suffering about. thats so... bad. that feels so wrong, but its true.

and so it happens...and when i sleep and dream its there. and when i myself am suffering in my life i also think about it. i think about it passively. i like hermitcraft whether im actively watching when videos come out or not. i like seeing all the hermits, you coudl put on any of their videos for me i would want to watch even a portion of it. i would be happy if we talked about it. i would like to create and just..htink about it.

i like hermitcraft even when i dont understand the "storylines" and events completely, and i..i dont. i couldnt tell u about the rentheking arc but i couldt ell u i think it was fun anyways. i cant tell u abt the seasons i didnt watch but i will tell you i love hermitcraft anyways.

it feels so childish to say so bc most ppl i know and see kind of a "falling out" with the series. which is like. nromal?like i was rlly into this but it kinda passed y'know. and im like that with OTHER things . but not hermitcraft i am ...stuck here but not trapped, idk. i like being here. like maybe i reach a point when i read one post about evil xisuma and start thinking "i need to throw up" i don't know.

so yeah i do love hermitcraft. PLEASE DO NOT take this as me like...reluctantly enjoying it?

TL;DR: i think about Hermitcraft everyday even during serious moments and when im enjoying completely different fandoms and real life things, i think this is weird because i dont do that with anything else

[naumin]

2024 retrospective and 2025 goals

this is the censored version of this post. for full images, check out the full free post on subscribestar!

hi :)

i'm really happy with everything i achieved in 2024. it was my first year illustrating full time, meaning no school and no salaried job on the side (believe me i tried to get one) and i'm happy to report i did not die! fuck yes. i even illustrated for 7 (i think) art books, designed merch for 2 and organised my first collab fanbook.

from top left clockwise: michael deforge, anna haifisch, Michel Esselbrügge, CLAMP, saul bass, jon whitcomb, rene gruau, paul rand, molly fairhurst

at the beginning of 2024 i made this moodboard for influences i wanted to incorporate into my work more, they are pretty much the same faves ive had for years but i just wanted to have them in front of me and start deliberately choosing elements to ape.

i'd say i basically want to incorporate more 2D cartoon graphic elements combined with detailed, realistic, delicately rendered characters, more theatric background design and props... features like borders etc. the thing about a moodboard is unless you print it out and put it up by your desk it will sort of slide to the back of your mind which is what i think happened w mine LOL. cuz looking at this now im like well i didnt really hit all these ideas but i did inch closer.

the first pic here is sth i drew immediately after making the board and i like it but it does feel like a slightly clumsy attempt at mashing stuff together... i wouldn't say that it shows i dont understand whats appealing about the work i was referencing (even though thats how it looks), its more like the picture goes in an unexpected direction while making it LOL. but that's part of the fun. whereas in my mind the 2nd pic spiritually embodies the ideas of the ppl i'm trying to copy. even tho visually it's still a ways off. its probably my favourite thing i drew all year? :) though that's hard to say bcus i'm so pleased w so many other pieces especially those u can see on my summary pic!!!

i have a few more artists i wanna add to my board and then i will definitely print it this time so i can look at it every day instead of just twice a year LOL.

another thing im really pleased about is the number of comics i drew in 2024. i have this odd relationship with comics where i do draw them and have for years and im more or less decent at them but i act like drawing them mortally wounds me. like im so dramatic... i do partially believe the only way ill ever be able to complete a longform comic is through abusing stimulants but you know ill also never find out if i keep crawling off to die after inking a page. i see a lot of illustrators suffering when approaching comics from the illustration mindset of making beautiful pictures instead of the comics mindset of making finished pictures, but u know, im extremely slapdash as an illustrator and im also proud enough to believe im a guy that can do both, so its really time i act like it... basically just shut up and draw. i want to apply this especially to perspective drawing/panel backgrounds, which im, like, fine at. honestly fine at. i do think i trip myself up because i want to be the next dostoevsky or beyonce or whatever, i want to be great, but have to remember the most anyone can do is aspire to express something from your inner world. everything else is secondary.

one thing i learned the hard way is how hard it is to have work life balance when you work from your bedroom and 'monestise your hobby'... you know, the thing everyone has been warning each other about for years. turns out its real. its super confusing when so many elements of your work bleed into your social life, physical health, leisure time etc -- like i go online for fun, and also to promote myself. so wheres the distinction? i watch movies for entertainment but also for research... ive definitely felt like ive been working around the clock or my job has consumed my life at points. but i think being stricter with my work hours is the way forward. it truly is shaytan at the wheel when u answer an email at 3AM... no more of this!

and tied into this is being realistic about what i can achieve in a day and not feeling ashamed or that i need to do more... i get stuck in this silly loop that's like... 'i believe everyone should work 4 hours a day, but because other people are stuck working 40 hours a week i should also be making myself do that' and then i work myself into a flare up and wreck my work ethic and enjoyment. u can laugh... i know it doesnt make sense. well i wont do it any more. because i CANT... because i will DIE... some days i work 4 hours. some days i work 6. some days i work half an hour... it doesnt matter as long as stuff gets done.. and it does.

also want to talk about my chronic pain and hypermobility... after a year of lifting weights i am stunned to let u know ive actually improved. unfortunately i dont look anything like the rock and i still cant do a real push up but im stronger and have more stamina and suffer from way less zaps and aches and numbness, which was unthinkable before. i only really noticed after taking a trip and doing different activities (painting walls) that i can physically do a lot more than i usually do at home. but also my house is fucking cold so its hard to do anything for anyone. hoping for warmer days and big muscles to come.

some of my other art goals are to work more on paper whenever i can. i used to have a huge stack of newsprint on my drawing board underneath my ipad and id doodle and test ideas on that paper before drawing it digitally. i wanna do that again. many people find its easier to 'think' on paper and im the same. whenever i have an idea i wanna go 'what would this look like on paper?' and then find out.

i want to be thinking about composition and storytelling more in my illustrations, as in, think cinematic, movie posters, communicating big ideas. even if that idea is only as big as 'this blue looks great with this orange'... i want to make more stuff that looks like promotional material for my stories. of course behind every movie poster is 100,000 thumbnails and sketches and half-finished ideas. i want to remember that and not be hard on myself for drawing girl in profile #997.

i want to draw more autobio comics, just to be drawing more comics and also to look back on and know what i was doing that day. nothing fancy. a lot of people are doing that gentle comics habit this year and i fear my competitive nature may get me into it too.

i have more books i wanna create which ive talked about at length in my last diary entry and for now i think that's enough goals thank you very much. thank you for reading this far and for all your support. happy new year! love you x

[dateamonster]

to get more to the actual point, im watching crow callers video on the lightlark sequel and it made me go like. why do these kinds of color-by-numbers ya romances and their badboy romantic leads so continuously tear down the protags agency in a way thats framed as desirable? like why is it considered appealing when the guy pressures the girl to wear something way more revealing than shes comfortable with? why does the protag keep getting into these like almost comically uncomfortable sounding sexual situations by complete accident? most of all, what is the reader supposed to get out of this?

and like i think my Game Theory here is that these books' audience is mostly girls and young women who are interested in intimacy but also kind of terrified and at least a little ashamed of it, so the fantasy of a kind of intimacy that happens against-their-will-but-not-really and therefor makes them blameless for their enjoyment of it is highly appealing.

part of me feels like i should find that more messed up than i do, and i suppose i do sometimes, but mostly it hits me in the way of like figuring out how eating candy triggers your brain to make more dopamine. is it healthy? probably not always. certainly not if its the only thing you consume. but i cant rly begrudge ppl wanting to feel happy even its through mildly unhealthy means. i too enjoy feeling happy every now and again believe it or not.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Is there a ship you DON’t like? From what I've seen you seem to like many, even J x N from what I understood!

hmm. good question uhhh XD k here we go uh.

i dont usually like to talk about ships i DONT like because i dont wanna ruin anyone elses experience- its just unnecessary and unless somone asks me specifically i wouldnt share.

[also under cut cuz i ramble alot lmao]

can you tell im very enthusiastic about shipping and character dynamics? 🥺👉👈

now codegold and Jenvy and fullcompany or Luzi or Vhad even are all crackships, hell even Jessa is almost in the crackship area because some of the characters involved are either not fully developed or did not have any significant screentime and its up to the fan/consumer/writer to make their own assumptions and character developments.

i vibe with almost... most crackships? lol, because the fact that they are between characters who have very little canonical and/or meaningful interactions, therefore as a writer i get to think and develop my own interactions where... things yknow... "DEVELOP" XD like how some ppl take backgeound characters from mlp and give them and entire lore and backstory XD

like J and Tessa and even Thad who were very one dimensional and barely there. we cant even talk about J cuz liam straight up assasinated her entire poor fucking character. she has no rhyme or reason or purpose for doing any of the things she did thats why its not easy to like her for the sake of liking her.

meanwhile everyone likes villains like azula, idk catra, bill cypher, invader zim- not necessarily cuz they "have backstories" but because they made SENSE in their respective settings and what people KNEW of them. J.... J makes no sense 😭 Liam essentially didnt give us anything on her for us to connect any dots about her- especially not after somewhat hyping the character up to be AS important as the other cast but then she was just... literally tossed in the scrap dump of the planet. also Thad and a bit of Lizzy and Doll- ive been trying to develop them for a few weeks now for my MD re-writing plans and it has been HARDDD they make no sense in a setting where everything is just for gags and jokes.

but i digress- what i mean to say is- i like crackships cuz i get to MAKE the characters as i enjoy them >:"3 i love writing and doing character studies!

this all being said... i dont blame people for disliking a ship. for some reason shipping characters from shows fucking takes away years of your life- esp when you see one you dislike and your brain cant even bring a goddamn reason for why you hate the ship in the first place- so i genuinely advise people who dislike a ship to just avoid it- breathe XD maybe block the tags- dont interact so the algorythm doesnt try to bother you- tell your friends to not talk about it with you maybe- and overall internet hygiene- you dont need to try and convince yourself to like it unless you want to- but dont bother others about it.

and with all this being said now the ships "I" personally dislike are...

Vizzy, Noll, and Khori....

.....yep.

i wont elaborate on WHY i dislike them so much to the point that i had to unfollow some people just to maintain my sanity, but the thing is sometimes brain isnt convinced with "logic" so big whoop 🤷‍♀️ such is life. hope people who enjoy them have fun tho<3

hope this was helpful 👌

[raveneira]

Its kinda funny how ppl used the recent chapter to say it proves Sarada saved Boruto there and that we all made fun of her for nothing, when KK literally says in that timeline he saw she and Boruto BOTH were killed by Kawaki, so how does that prove her intervention saved him? KK literally says she tried to help him AND DIED

These are the same ppl who will tell you you lack reading comprehension, yet look at a panel where KK clearly says Sarada DIES when she tried to intervene and say 'See!? this proves she saved Boruto! we told you so!'

Like...how dumb can you be fr? this timeline proves what everyone was already saying, that she DID NOT SAVE HIM, infact, it was actually everyone that showed up AFTER she was about to be killed that saved him and changed his fate here, this vision literally proves that Sarada didn't do shit to change his fate, all she did was be killed right alongside Boruto if her dad and the others didn't arrive when they did.

But I shouldnt be surprised, till this day ppl still give Hinata praise for Minato's fail safe he placed a whole 15 years in advance, ppl still claim Hinata is the one who saved Naruto when it was infact Minato that did, because had Minato not have had that backup plan for this EXACT situation then Naruto would've let himself be consumed and died, taking who knows how many ppl with him.

Now their doing the same thing with Sarada, claiming her intervention is what saved Boruto's life, when it was actually everyone else arriving when they did that changed that fate, Sarada did absolutely nothing in that situation but make it go from bad to worse

But to be fair I'll be a little generous to Hinata tho, because she actually did at least TRY to do something to protect Naruto, she didn't just go there just to be in the way, she TRIED to fight Pain, she was just outmatched, she knew that and still tried to take him on and fight him back even if only for a few seconds

Sarada did nothing but bluff, for ppl who talk about 'love' makes one act irrational and thats why her running there to help Boruto is proof that her feelings for Boruto are more genuine than Sumire's who stayed behind but they conveniently forget the other part of that

Love doesnt just make you irrational, it gives you courage and strength, the desire to protect someone precious to you is when you become truly strong, remember that? because we saw it with Hinata, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, know who we ain't see it with? Sarada, because she went there blew one fireball and then froze up TWICE when Boruto was about to die, which adds up with KK saying she was going to die there, not very hard to believe when she just stood there both times he tried to take their lives so yea, I can definitely see how that future came about.

So my point? love doesnt just make you irrational like these ppl try to simplify, its true it does make you irrational, but it also makes you brave, it makes you strong, it gives you the strength to act even in the most hopeless situation where you know there's no chance of success but you do it anyway, you TRY, succeed or fail you TRY and die trying if thats what it comes to, but the one thing you DONT do? is just stand there WAITING to die, thats the OPPOSITE of what love does.

Oh and I know the excuse 'well she was scared, this was intentional, its part of her development to realize shes weak and wanna get stronger' great argument, except that was already established in 69

We already established her recognizing her weakness, her frustration at it, her wanting to get stronger so that next time she WILL be there to protect Boruto, you'd think this would be set up for a big payoff in 78 where Boruto is in trouble again and this time Sarada's able to save him right? now we're gonna see her resolve right? this convo in 69 was setup for a big pay off here right? apparently fkin not cuz this is what we got

Ok lets be generous, it was the heat of the moment, she choked, but now shit just got real, Boruto's whole eye is sliced, she sees Kawaki is serious now, she saw Boruto get hurt because of her weakness when it came time to step up, she failed to protect Boruto AGAIN when he needed her

Now surely we'll get the payoff right? if she doesn't act now then she and Boruto will DIE, Boruto has already been badly hurt because of her weakness, surely NOW is where her resolve kicks in and she protects him for real right? nope

You really dont get goofier than this, Naruto and Sasuke had their coward moments too don't get me wrong, but the difference is THEY GOT OVER IT, they REFLECTED on their weakness and cowardice and resolved to be stronger in the future, but think about it, Sarada already reflected and resolved to be stronger and prepared in the future, so why when even the danm narrative itself set this moment up to be where Sarada shows her resolve to not be weak and protect Boruto like she wants to, why do we only see her freeze, waver, and crumble when she has the chance to act?

Because this isnt just a 78 isolated case, she does it in 79 and 80 as well

Hate to say it but its the truth, the girl lacks resolve, she talks big but when its time to back it up she folds like paper

She failed to be there for Boruto when Kawaki killed him because she didn't even know he was in danger, she was mad at herself and resolved to get stronger so that next time Boruto's in danger she'll be there to protect him

What does she do with every chance she has to do that?

She froze and cost Boruto his eye

She froze and almost let them both die

She stands there shakin Mitsuki yellin at him to listen to her instead of protecting Boruto

She falls to her knees crying after hearing Naruto was killed and completely ignores Mitsuki saying he's going to kill Boruto and going off to do just that

But surely after all of those fumbles she'll pick herself up and finally resolve to stop being weak and be there for her friend right? unfortunately not, instead we get this

Flat out confirmation that she wasnt so in shock that she didn't hear what Mitsuki said, she heard him clearly say he was going to kill Boruto and she just let him go off to do that, if Sasuke never showed up Sarada would still be sitting there crying while Boruto is being slaughtered by Mitsuki or whoever else found him.

While shes there whining and crying to her dad, Boruto is fending for himself against team 10, it doesn't matter that she managed to convince her dad to go save him, why wasn't SHE there trying to save him herself? WHY did it take Sasuke showing up for her to even move? WHY did it take Sumire telling her 'hey we're the only ones who can help Boruto right now' for Sarada to finally do something? which she didn't, she begged her DAD to do something while she stayed behind continuing to do nothing.

This is the exact same crap ppl give Sakura shit for with Naruto's promise, even tho he made the promise of his own volition, ppl dragged Sakura for putting the burden of bringing Sasuke back on Naruto instead of takin action herself.

Which leads me back to what I said about self reflection...so do you think after all of this Sarada reflected on her weakness and made moves to make sure she was never this weak and powerless again? to make sure this time she can protect Boruto with her own strength and not have to rely on her dad to resolve everything? feel even a tad bit of remorse for placing that type of burden on her dad? putting him in harms way just to protect her friend because SHES too weak to? surely she's gonna have her own version of this right?

Surely we were gonna see Sarada finally reflect and address her weakness and work to change it NOW right? after all of that? surely NOW right? nope

Know what she does? yap, and Im not even kidding, thats literally what she does.

And yaps

Freezes

Yaps some more

Hugs

Yaps about hug in her head

Still not doin nothin to stop Mitsuki

Zero reflection, zero remorse, zero accountability, and zero effort to do anything different than she was before

But yall wanna claim she saved him and everybody was wrong this whole time lol she not only didn't save him, she has consistently gone out of her way NOT to save him at any point afterwards besides sending her dad to fight her battle for her.

Sakura had an excuse, she had an obligation to not fight on the frontlines as a medical ninja, Sarada has no such obligation preventing her from taking action at any point I mentioned, she chooses to stand back, chooses to be helpless, and chooses not to protect him when shes more than able to.

And no, Im not sayin she should flat out fight Mitsuki, but why the hell is her only effort just yelling 'Mitsuki! listen to me!' over and over? why not get in front of Boruto? why not punch the ground between them to split em up? hell why not even grab Mitsuki and hold him back? you don't have to outright fight somebody to still protect, nobody is saying she should haul off and start brawling with Mitsuki, but don't just stand there yellin 'listen to me!' when you know danm well he ain't gon listen and is attacking your friend right in front of you

So yea trying to use that panel to say she saved Boruto there is laughable because it literally proves the opposite, in that timeline nobody else arrived to help them, so it was up to Sarada herself to protect Boruto and she failed, I dunno how anybody took this as a W for her, this is literally one of her biggest Ls and none of yall should be celebrating it.

[angelfevr]

i just wanted to stop by to say that i'm sorry you got rejected from the zine you applied to. i've had my work rejected by indie magazines earlier in the year, and i know the dejection that happens when you look at your work afterwards. one thing that helps me to remember is that you will hear more rejections than acceptances, but you will hear acceptances; it was something i was reminded of hearing about how all these established poets have, sometimes, seen their applications not be responded to for years when i was more involved in the poetry community on twitter. while i think it's good to be updating your portfolio every now and then, i hope it never happens that the rejection consumes you and dissuades you from writing. i've known that feeling once or twice. so PLEASE make sure you keep writing above anything else. your voice is very much needed; if not by anyone, at least, and most of all, by you. (in other words, i hope you always keep writing, and that you always keep writing for yourself. happy new year, friend ♥️)

tysm for the kind words (pleading emoji) !!! i feel like this can also apply to when my posts dont get many reblogs, but i think thats been getting better now that ive been srbing + being annoying (positive) abt my work GHJFHDJHFJD

its good to know that u think my voice is needed, bc i feel like i have a lot of interesting things to say with my work and i wanna reach as many ppl as possible . thats difficult w a small following but i know i have before and will keep trying to make it real in my eyes

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

know of any shows with positive poly representation? everything I've seen either kills a part of the polycule, or they break up and the two with the most chemistry end up together in the end

i dont watch a lot of shows, but here's what i learned from running this:

the main one that has been recommended here by other followers is Leverage, the polycule even won the first showdown! from my understanding, in the original show they werent able to make it explicitly canon but the writers confirmed it's a polycule, and people mentioned a newer version but i know less about that.

the polycule from The Expanse just got second place in the canon showdown! so thats another one

I was told Siren is good but to not watch season 2 iirc cause thats where they do exactly what u dont wanna see (end the polycule in favor of a couple) but alot of Leverage fans recommended that one as well

Sens8 has one canon polycule and one trio that can also be interpreted as one, but arent confirmed canon. The canon polycule had to be rushed because netflix cancelled the show, but i hear its still v good!

If you count podcasts as shows, Penumbra Podcast Second Citadel has also been highly recommended and ive heard amazing things about the polycule in that one!

And idk if you only mean live action but if you include cartoons, there's Amphibia! How canon it is has been oftenly debated in my notes so i cant advocate much but a lot of ppl seem to feel like the show heavily supports that as a possible direction for the relationship of the protagonists?

those are the ones i can remember right now, im sure if you keep an eye on the notes to this ask there will probably be other recommendations! i also have the tag #polyam rep (which ill add to this ask since tumblr's search function likes to act up) with lots of recommendations by many different people, not all of them are tv shows, i think most are books? but still worth it to check it out imo

the only media with canon polycules i personally consumed have been two webcomics (Charity Case and Shootaround), one book (Iron Widow), and a game (Hades), also a spanish movie i watched before i knew what a polycule was and idk its name :( so yeah unfortunately i dont have too many personal recs, and none for shows, but i hope you find smth in the replies or in the polyam rep tag!

[enden-k]

Your Alien Stage art introduced brain-chemistry altering doomed gays that made me feral for days now. The music, the art, the emotions, everything drives me insane. the best way i get into things nowadays is by osmosis and every time you talk about your current interests it's like a breath of fresh air and i fall into anxiety-reducing rabbit holes. it's always exciting to see what comes next. also, your ocs live rent-free in my head and getting any glimpses of them sparks so much joy <33

thanks for this message really!!!! tbh im getting rlly tired of hyv lately, i think its the constant drama and bs they keep pulling that makes it hard to stay/enjoy, paired with how time consuming the games are and how little time or energy i have lately that im unwilling to spend just gaming to keep up with anything (im v inconsistent/casual w their games rn, checking in whenever the mood strikes)

i rlly needed smth new (not at all tied to hyv) so i used the time instead to return to old interests (FF, n+c,...) or get into everything my sis or ppl recommended me over the past months and im so happy and feeling sm better (mental health); i read WAY more books and watched more shows in the past weeks than i did in the years i played gnshn and thats a lil shocking tbh AHHAH

ANYWAY im happy ppl dont mind my new stuff and even get into new things as well through this, makes more possible ppl to ramble with about it akjscb <3

also thanks for liking my ocs!!!!! i was thinking abt posting more of my other stories and not just gg :]