#thats how it should be done w these fuckers

[boynextdoors]

[monstersmashorpass]

welcome, fellow monster lovers + fuckers~! to the smash or pass blog!

SUBMISSIONS: CLOSED

First things first - this is a queer friendly blog, so no r.adfem b.s. of any kind. don't be assholes, don't be bigots. be a clown (derogatory) and get blocked.

Second, no shit-talking people's monster(s) of choice. We're here for fun, not for negativity. (So no calling basic, shaming choices, saying "oh this non-human isn't enough of a monster", insulting how they look, calling them vanilla, etc etc.)

Also you're 100% allowed to add propaganda to the posts about why ppl should vote smash. (Not for pass though. Bc that's under the no negativity rule.)

Please see "How to Submit a Poll Option" for rules on submitting.

→ UNDER THE CUT ←

➥ About the Blog

➥ How to Submit a Poll Option

➥ Meet the Mods

→ ABOUT THE BLOG ←

New poll every day

Poll length 1 week

Replies on posts are only open to those who have been following this blog for at least a week.

This is a sideblog. It can not send asks.

We also can not receive or send DMs due to being a group blog.

The ask box is closed when submissions are closed because this is the piss on the poor website. (Aka reading comprehension doesn't exist)

Please note that if your preferred monster loses the poll, that's okay! They're still a winner in your heart. This is literally all just for the lulz. Genuinely, don't worry about it.

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→ HOW TO SUBMIT A POLL OPTION ←

Please use the ask box!

PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING!

→ ONLY ONE CHARACTER PER ASK. PLEASE. We're begging ya :V submissions that list multiple characters will be deleted.

→ if the character / monster is a minor, that's a no-go. Don't be a fuckin creep. Keep kids out of this.

(If one slips pass us, please POLITELY inform us by replying to the post. We do our best to check ages, but we're only human. No one is perfect.)

→ we will not post monster options such as W*nd*g*s, Sk*nw*lk*ers, and the like, as its a) from closed culture, and b) not the place.

Native peoples have asked many a time for ppl to stop fuckin w their folklore and stories, so give em respect. It's the least that can be done, goddamn. Any bullshit sent about this will be deleted and blocked.

ANYHOO

If you're able to, add a pic of the monster in question! If it's someone's art, please make sure they're okay with it being used first, and provide credit too. We're not reposting willy-nilly around here. We do need artist credit whenever possible! (if the images submitted are official, pls just make a note of it!)

[Poll Submission] Monster name, What theyre from* [Poll Submission] Wulver, scottish folklore [Poll Submission] Abe Sapien, Hellboy (movies or comics) (image from Hellboy comics)

* this is more if its applicable - ie; from specific mythology, or from a media source. If the media is 18+ please make a note of it!

If you submit off-anon, we respond privately with if its queued or if it was already a poll.

If you submit on anon, the ask is deleted once its queued. (Or if you submit something that we've already done.)

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→ Meet the Mods ←

We're a couple of chaotic idiots who know each other irl and get up to shenanigans. Like this blog.

Mod Curse 🌸

✿ Mid 20s - she/they - Big Gay

✿ Evil women? Sign me tf up!

✿ Uhh I'm a weird cat mom, artist and general nerd, bonus adhd

Mod Ghoul ☢️

➤ late 20s, it/its he/his

➤ Horrible taste in fictional men lol

➤ I also mod SelfshipConfessional !

➤ Three allegations I can never escape - 'oh thats the local cryptid', 'its a creature, your honor', and 'I'm pretty sure you're just a corpse but okay.'

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Here, a prize for reading this entire thing! Pics of the mod's pets!

Ghoul's dog - Ollie - 108 lbs of attitude and crime condensed into an 8 lbs of dog.

Curse's cat - Maple - she likes to slap the shit outta Ghoul (with claws!) when it's visting Curse. (Ghoul catsits.) Pretty sure Maple is 95% floof.

[dilucsfav]

could you maybe write some headcanons for Zhongli and an v anxious reader? your writing makes me so happy Ilysm!!! <333

HI MY SWEETHEART, THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK <3333.

I’D LOVE TO WRITE HIM FOR YOU, i haven’t written anything for zhongli in a long time so i think this will be fun!! (btw guys this person ^^^ is my partner im not tryna brag but you should go follow their blog💔💔)

Zhongli w/ an anxious reader hcs

warning(s): mentions of anxiety attacks, if that upsets you or a sensitive topic!!

if you’re particularly twitchy at times, bounce your leg, tap your fingers, twiddle your thumbs— whatever it may be, he’d hold your hand and RUB YOUR HAND WITH HIS THUMB. all. the. time. it’s how he shows he loves you and is there <3

^^^honestly he just loves holding your hands in general💔💔having that small physical connection also comforts him

idk why i’m getting so deep into this LMAO, but if you had that habit of bouncing your leg a lot, he’d hold your knee instead of your thigh

omg he’d absolutely calm you down with stories of his past of being an archon n shit. would like rub your hair, let you lay with him and all of that fun stuff

gentle reminders all the time. if you don’t have the motivation to do something, he’d do it for you (totally would brush your hair and kiss the top of your head)

on hard days, he’d boil water in order to make your favorite tea and then sit with you. whether you wanna talk with him, he’d listen— or if you don’t, he doesn’t mind waiting and holding you quietly whilst holding your tea for you

^^counter to this, he’d also just sit quietly with you if that’s what you need. hold your hand, brush your hair from your face, allow you to hold him if you want— anything to help you know that his presence is there!

^^zhongli has a big fucking mouth, never shuts up (he just like me fr) but he does enjoy quietness when necessary

FLOWER PICKING. HE’D PICK YOU SO SO MANY FLOWERS IDFC THATS CANON

if you’re also a big overthinker, he’d constantly assure you that he’s there for you and that everything will be ok. he loves you n doesn’t want to see you distressed <//3

omg i feel like he’d totally do breathing exercises w you?? like compared to other characters, he has so much patience and it’s never ever a bother to help you through small tasks

^^other characters like childe or some mf like him would be so fucking impatient😭 (childe would honestly help w your anxiety in other ways idk maybe i should write about all the characters)

speeaakkinggg of childe… zhongli would totally rob that fucker of his money to spoil you rotten. oh, you want that dress that is astronomically expensive that lady ningguang made HERSELF? done. you want those new shoes? done. you want that 30 dollar overpriced venti iced coffee? done.

(^^hahahahahahsh see what i did there? like venti as in large? but also venti? fucking laugh.)

zhongli is super wise n caring, but i feel like he wouldn’t be the biggest sweet talker

^^yes very genuine with advise n knowledge, though. he’d only give advise that would benefit you in the outcome; he doesn’t see the point in giving you untrue n unhelpful information if it won’t make the situation better

if you have anxiety attacks & he’s present at the time, he will literally hold you until you’re able to breathe and calm down. will remind you to take breaths and that he’s there

“Take a deep breath for me, now, (Y/N). There you are, good job. I’m here, it’s okay.”

obviously zhongli’s been through a lot so he knows how to help. making you feel calm n safe if you’re in tears & you’re anxious is his first priority. would do anything you ask him if it means making you feel better <33

[hotdrinkluvr]

i should remind myself that he's MY bitch. he's lucky to have me that damned fucker. he should be obsessed with me. im out of his league by a mile and he knows that, he says it all the fucking time, his family says it, and i cant deny because it is true. and as much as i really fucking love him he should love me 700 times more, he should be the one crying over me, he should be the one asking when hell see me next not the other way around. i want to feel control too. i feel like i love him so much more and how that even fucking happened astounds me. its not fair. im suppose to go over to his tomorrow but me always making thatt 1hr 30 min journey while he lays around in his room waiting for me like im his fucking call girl is really really getting to me. im going to the gp tmrw morning at the fucking butt ass crack of dawn so he can feel good having sex. i told him and all he said was cool. fuck you, im rly nervous about this. all he can say is itll be fine and nothing else. why wont he ever fucking text me asking about my day or how im doing. im always doing that and he reponds in the most dry ass way its like fuck sake just tell me if u got something better to do then i at least know where i stand in this. i understand communication is really important and i will tell him how im feeling but thats after he actually fucking bothers to text me asking how im fucking doing, im always messaging him asking what hes up to cuz i care he never asks back. im fucking sick of me feeling like its a one sided thing when he fucking liked me first, and what now that he has me hes bored? i wont let a fucking man take me for granted like this. so fuck our plans for tomorrow, im not going all the way his house just to be there for like 3 hrs and then leave. i hope he likes how it fucking feels, because i have done anything and everything hes asked me, never cancelled plans and always made time for him, always the one planning shit. hes forgetten about shit more than once already. tonight might be the first night that we dont say goodnight cuz if he doesnt text first then fuck it. im cancelling the plans tmrw and going for drinks w my bsf. i wont give a shit if he doesnt.

[theuniverseawakens347]

it’s absolutely mind blowing …ur telling people that off of MY COOCHIE PIX TO MY BOYFRIEND JUSTIN IFWE THE ONLY PERSON I SENT IT TO…and DID NOT TELL TO SHARE W THE WORLD…that I got all these girls into exploiting themselves …🤔 SOUNDS LIKE A FAILED PARENTS BLAME SHIFTING BC WTF THE FUCK LEE.

Nora smith IVE NOT HEARD OF UNTIL THIS FUCKING YR..SO HOW SWAY?? I GOT FRIENDS IN THE INDUSTRY BUT NEVER HUNG OUT W THEM… MY PAGES ON INSTAGRAM AT INDIA LOVE WHO STALKED ME BEHIND CLOSED DOORS N COI ALL SAY THEY WANA BE LIKE ME…BUT I AINT TALK TO THEM BITCHES. CRAZY I AINT KNOW BITCHES SORRY GIRLS SEEN. Y COOCHIE AS WAS LIKE “ omg THATS THE thing to do..” I WAS LOOKING AT INDIA LOVE AT 16 ..ROLE MODELING AFTER HER AND. RYSTAL WHILE FUCKING DATING PRESTON TAKING ME AROUND HIS GROWN ASS MEN FRIENDS AND FUCKING ME ON SHOW…

Dude really. GROW UP AND FUCKING ADMIT UR A LYING SAC OF DELUSIONAL SHIT. KEVIN SPACEY IS ADMITTING GUILT OF SEEING LIKING AND PASSING IT FOR ADVANCES AND TRYING TO GET AT ME TO SLEEP W ME. AT DAVE SMURTHWAISTE…PLANNED W PRESTON AND GETTING ME TO DOUG AND SANDRA BERGERON WHEN I BECAME “LEGAL” AT 18 …CAUSE NO ONE WAS TAKING ME AT 16 w Preston… ALSO I BROKE UP W HIM AFTER OUR ALASKA CRUZE SHERE BILL ALREADY SENT TO THE KIDS ON THE CRUSE TO SOCILITIC SLEEPING WITH ME … IE AGAIN REVENGE PORN BY JUSTIN FOR BREAKING UP W HIM AT HOWARD OVER HEARING ME ON THE PHONE W HIM IN THE BLUE ROOM TELLING HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE WERE DONE AND HOWARD TAKING THENPHONE SAYING..LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE AND THE. BOOM RANDOMLY FUCKING SHOWS UP AT MY HOUSE 2/3 DAYS AND AGAIN W TASHA I BREAK UP WITH HIM AND LET HIM KNOW HIS DAD NEEDS TO COME PICK HIM UP CAUSE WTF MY NIGGA DIDNT NO BODY INVITE YOU … 🤯 DAVINA HE WAS CHEATING ON ME WITH SENT IT BC I SAID I WAS GOING TO BEAT HER ASS ..WHICH I NEVER DID SAY I SAID I WAS GOING TO FUCK JUSTIN UP FOR CHEATING THE “LAST TWO WEKS” of us AT MACKENZIE SEEN IT SHOWED EVAN TRIED TO GET HIM TO GET A 3 Sum w me AT DUMBASS BITCH FOR TRYING TO JUMP ME AT 18/19 CAUSE I TOLD HER WHILE DATING JUSTIN ITS WEIRD YOU GOTTA PHOTOSHOP YAL TOGETHER BUT ME N HIM BE TOGETHER NOT KNOWING HE WAS ONLINE DATING HER TIL ME N HIM BROKE UP … MEGAN DIVINE SEEN IT PASSED IT FOR HER USC ENTRANCE …AT WHATEVER MOM THAT WAS WHO GOT TRIALS AND JAIL TIME FOR THE USC KIDS TUITION .. AGAIN INTUITION BEEN TRYING TO WARN ME LIKE LEXIS DEATH MY BODY JUST KNOWS THINGS WHEN SHITS WEIRD BUT YOU CANNOT FUCKING GROW MUCH IN THE ENVIRONMENT THAT HURTS YOU WHICH IVE PUT AND SHOWN EXPLICITLY ON MY FUCKING BLOG. AND THE SECOND I GET AWAY FROM THE TRAUAMA KILLING ME AND IM ON MY OWN I HAD SOOOOOO MUCH TRAUMA RELEASE GROWTH AND SPIRITUAL FOOTWORK FOUND N STEPPED INTO MY WHOLE COSMIC DESTINY ….AND THEN BOOOM I MAKE FUCKING STRIDES ON MY OWN …NO ONE SAID PERFECT BUT A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN WHAT I CAME FROM…THOSE SAME FUCKERS COME RUNNING BACK IN AND TRAPPING ME 🖕 HOWrd AND BEN FEELING THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST POPED UP ON ME AND HANDED ME BACK TO BEN / TAKEN ME WHEN THEY HAD THE CHANCE TO MY RIGHTFUL PLACE TO BE HOWARD NOV 9th VACCINE SHOULD HAVE JUST HANDED ME OVER TO THE AUTHORITIES AND ADMITTED PERJURY FUCKING THEN INSTEAD OF DOING THIS WHOLE FUCKING ..” we WANA show you how strong you are and WHAT ELSE BS HAS BEEN DONE IN YOUR NAME” 8 month journey …THE FIRST ONE NEVER COMPLETED YAL WANTED TO FINISH IT NOW …I’m fucking over and tired and done. DAE SHUT THE LITERAL FUCK UP. YOU GOT MY FUCKING NUDES AFTER THE MILITARY OR AFTER SAID YOU FUCKED ME N SOME MORE WEIRD SHIT. ILL TAKE BACK U HAVING AIDS WHEN YOUNADMIT BUT YOU DID RAPE LAUREN AND YOU DO HAVE STDS 🖕ALISSA SEEN N PASSED IT FOR HER MOMS APARTMENT DURING COLLEGE THEN FURTHER THE SPIRITUAL BULLSHIT “had I known I wouldn’t have” THE ISSUE IS YOU FUCKING DID FOR SOME EASY FUCKING MONEY THEN CALLED ME CRAZY WHEN INWANTED TO TALK AND TOOK ANOTHER PAYOUT TO NOT TALK. FUCK THAT. FEDERAL for extortion FOR THOSE WHO WILLINGLY PARTOOK THEN PULLED THE “Amanda bones” card on me ✌️

[melissa-titanium]

things I look for in fanfic: BRO I FUCKIMG WISH THERE WAS ENOUGH N DOLL FI;CS FOR ME TO PICK & CHOOSE LOLLLLLL i need 2 get off my ass and write more for the coffee shop au

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i'm not a huge shipper so i sincerely do not care much ship whoever u like azlong as its not weird but like. n is aroace in my heart. he dont need nobody but himself and his buddies 💪 doll with lizzy i think. weird lesbians

My happily ever after for them: i think doll should get better actually. i understand the hype behind I WANT HER TO GET WORSE but.. i want that in the way that i think things get worse before they get better. post-canon i hope she's alive and well. and i think n coild just be there chilling with her :) they distinctly remind me of like old fuckers you'd see in a retirement home bingo hall where some guys wife of 37 years is just a little too intensely staring into your eyes until he starts talking and the murder leaves her eyes like white smoke out of a coolant-filled combustion chamber. like she doesn't stop looking unnerving when she listens 2 him but she looks like she wants to murder him atleast 20% less than she wants to murder everyone else.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: THIS QUESTION IS SO FUNNY UHHHH. I DONT KNOW HONESTLY i dont think thats like.a thing that they'd do . while i do think doll is freakishly tall for a worker drone, i also think N is freakishly tall for a dd. so its like. yeah 👍

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: this is.THIS IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY uhhh okau . honest to fuckin god i think they'd train fighting alot. you saw how utterly dogshit doll was at hand-to-hand combat. she only has experience fighting w/the solver powers SO I THINK ITD BE INTERESTING. FOR HER TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT HAND TO HAND and u know how that goes usually. omg theyre fighting guys OH HOLY SHIT FRAME OF THEIR FACES A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER WITH ANIME BLU;SH (gets shot in the head)) also i think theyd read alot together. i think their whole deal is doll wants 2 rip off someones head but n is there to chill and his chillness extends upon her. like doll on her own wouldn't read unless it was necessary to her goals LIKE I THINK THEY'D DO MUNDANE STUFF. itd help her getting out of the "I MUST HAVE A REASON . A GOAL." mindset & its just plain fun for n & also knowing he's useful is good 4 him i thik huehehe

unrelated kind of, but dodie monster is a realu good song and kind of reminds me of them in the "we're both guilty of black and white thinking" line. ok im done <3

the ask game stuff..001 for N nd doll (giggles

GO FUCK YOURSELF . but thank uou... anime berdly emoji . ill answer...FOR NOW

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: VERY RECENTLY ACTUALLY id say within the last like two weeks. ive always loved doll and always loved n but then i realized like. oh huh i connect alot with n and want to make out with doll . boom. its like borderline selfship at this point its cringe as fuck but let me do whatever i want.

my thoughts: surprisingly i don't have as many thoughts on them as i did but i feel like. because of how much of a foil doll is to uzi i think thats the word it would be like. IDK i feel like for doll it'd help to understand the 'humanity' of the dds. if she witnesses a disassembly drone killing war machine trip over his own tail or bump his head into a doorframe and wince and laugh and talk and hug with gentle arms and do things that she specifically reprogrammed herself NOT to do so she'd have a better chance to kill her worst enemy and avenge her parents... she would short circuit. to actually get to the point of not killing him on sight would take a while or lots of coercing via ... lizzy? or hell maybe even uzi im not sure. unless they had an individual encounter (which, you know, could totally happen! doll out in the wastes and n is on a solo hunt, you know her ass was following them.) that lead to a stalemate, i'm not sure how they'd even meet. HM OK NOW IM THINKING ABOUT THIS. either way tho n has a habit of befriending insane drones (or like... smoochin depending on how you see enzi tho i see them as platonic) and i think he could. Not fix her but he could be there for her bless. and again i think she could help him be not a doormat 💛 also stupid hc i had aboit them i hv always thought doll to have like... a freakishly good memory. which, works perfectly paired with n because like .you know. his memory prahblems . dolls ass can remember the angle of your arm when you were like fucking sitting on a chair on the 13th of april last year or some shit like she PAYS ATTENTION even if she doesn't often share her input... which is also a good thing bcos n is super inclusive always. n voice DOLLLL LOOK WE ARE DOING A THING!!!! :D & shes just like. sighs okay (comes ova 2 him) and eventually.. i think itd get to the point where she can go do shit on her own without being explicitly invited YAY

What makes me happy about them: gotta bring up the Me & My Wife shit again bcos its borderline selfship at this point. i just think its interesting and awesome I REALLY HOPE THEY HAVE AN INTERACTION... tho i doubt it; i think they might fight or smt in ep 7 WHICH HONESTLY I WOULDNT BE SAD ABOUT my goil needs moe screenrtime

What makes me sad about them: doll probably hasnt experienced like. affection in fucking ages & frankly n really hasnt either. i think they'd hold hands and talk about their kill counts. also i just realized they both kind of went thru a period of time tht was little socialization only KILL. doll had school & lizzy, sure, but also living in an apartment with ur parents' & dozens of others' corpses its like. tht fucks w u. but the interesting thing about them is… n and doll don't experience guilt over Killing And Eating People the same way i think. like. just for example v and uzi do (atleast in my perception). like v couldnt cope with the knowledge she had so she fell extra EXTRA hard into her role (atleast using her maid self as an accurate portrayal of her old self) and uzi has never ever experiuenced anything like that before so its fucking terrifying to her. however, with doll and n… they dont percieve it the same way. we understand that both of them are capable of guilt but it takes a very strong connection for them to experience it. ep one; n feels bad for making uzi argue with khan & ruining the card game. does he say a single thing about killing and eating half a dozen workers? No! because it's natural to him. there's nothing out of the ordinary in that situation except for the fact that he was "rude" by interrupting someone & "rude" by causing an argument. yes, he's very sweet and patient and all of the above but he doesn't see killing as really a BAD THING… he sees it as a necessity; as him being useful, higher numbers means hes doing a good job. but, really, that's all he's known. he doesn't remember being a worker. after meeting uzi he's capable of realizing… oh, these are living creatures! i feel a little bad now. but the guilt doesn't come crashing down onto him and leave him utterly devastated at his kill count, it just sits there. it festers. similarly, in my opinion, to how doll reacts to guilt. we see her as this unstoppable force at every point until the end of promening. she knows her goals, she knows what she has to do to get to them, and has shaped herself into the perfect killing machine to do what she needs, removing all forms of guilt from her person to make sure it doesn't get in the way. though, again, it comes bubbling to the surface back from where she buried it so deeply under all her anger when uzi pops her emo little head in. she isnt instantly all "oh my god, what have i done?" but it eats away at her all of this fucking time, she has been killing and hurting her kind, believing she was the only one who could possibly shoulder this burden and deal justice to those who deserved it. but now that she knows she isn't alone… it festers.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: i've seen like three n/doll fics literally EVER but i'd honestly say. major mischaracterization of doll... i feel like doll gets mischaracterized more than n? n's behaviours are easy to understand and read with a surface level understanding because he has more screentime and again ON THE SURFACE looks relatively simple. i think a huge thing in some fanfics that bugs me is that. imitation of speech patterns = perfect characterization WHICH IS NOT TRUE... but also understandably makes it difficult to do with doll because she doesn't talk alot, while N talks a LOT so it leads to a heavy imbalance in mischaracterization. just because the characters would fucking say that, doesnt mean they would Fucking Do That

apparently there is a word limit on tumblr. pleasantly surprised this will be two posts instead

[violetnotez]

HC: Y/N Wears a Revealing Version of their S/O’s hero suit

God it’s been so long since I’ve done headcannons, I miss them so much! These I’m going to keep tame, cause I don’t want them to be toooo spicy!

Also, I didnt iclude Shindo and Shinso, sorry! I realized rather quickly how long these got and didnt want to bog down this post, hope thats okay!

Pairings: Mirio x reader, Tamaki x reader, Bakugo x reader, Kaminari x reader (all characters aged to 18+)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Mirio

It would be a disgrace if I didn’t use this pic

So you had been invited to a photo shoot for a pretty high end boutique to be one of the models

Were you stoked that this extremely prestigious brand wanted you on their front cover? Yes. Were you terrified as hell? Also a fat yes.

Mirio, being the adorable boyfriend he is, was hyping you up for it

“Your going to be amazing sunshine! Ya never know until you try, ya know?”

Even with him being your support, you still felt extremely self conscious

“I don’t know...I’m not a model, I don’t think I can do it-“

“Don’t talk so negatively like that babe! What if I came with you, would that calm your nerves some?”

Your practically melted into him, giving him the biggest hug everrrr

“Oh my god would you? That would make me feel so much better-“

“Of course babe! Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it!”

So the day of, you came into the photo shoot fresh faced and pale as hell from nerves

They seperated you from Mirio, taking you to the makeup area and clothing area

You entered a room lined with extremely bright makeup stands and racks of clothing, your area in a small corner to the right with a mannequin wearing a certain set of clothes

You finally realized what you were actually modeling-and your mouth dropped

No wonder the asked you to model, being Mirio’s girlfriend-it was a sexy version of his hero suit

It was a skin tight leotard, the number “1000000” scrawled against your chest, a thick red cape draping against the back

Lemon colored glasses and thigh high blue boots completed the look, a huge gulp reverberating from your throat-

How the hell were you going to pull this off? In front of your boyfriend no less-

You pain stakingly got your makeup done and your hair, your strands pooled up like Mirio’s hair in the front and the rest cascading in bed head curls

You finally got the skin tight costume on, looking at yourself in the mirror-you felt nervous but-strangely calm-you didn’t look half bad, actually

A small smile graced your face as you walked out, your heels clicking against the floors as you walked into the photo shoot room

Now the question was where was your-

“Hey sunshine! Whoa, that get up looks great, looks pretty similar to something I wear dontcha think?” He was totally teasing you, his tone playful as he leaned into your blushing face

Suddenly your bravery was gone and you were a nervous wreck-your boyfriend was looking at you with hungry eyes, his orbs gazing over every exposed curve

“Mirio, you don’t have to look at me like that-“ you whined, feeling your cheeks burn bright red

“But I want to look at you like this babe,” he smiled, his voice dropping as he licked his lips- “you look absolutely delicious dressed up like that.”

Tamaki

“Oh cmon Tamaki, please come with us!” You pleaded with your nervous boyfriend, his brows furrowed in fear

It was the middle of October, and you and Neijire were planning to go to an early Halloween party in the middle of town

“I-I wish I could go bunny, I really do, it’s just-“

Tamaki was fiddling with is hands, his inky black hair cascading over his distraught face

He would love to go with you, but the thought of people, and dancing, and dressing up, and oh god what if they made fun of his costume-

You placed a kiss on your boyfriend’s cheek, sending him a reassuring smile

“No worries, Tama, I get it-just stay home and chill, I’ll make sure to come home a little early,”

“Oh-okay,” he obliged, watching you go into the bathroom to get ready

Tanaka decided to do exactly what you asked him to do-he watched some TV, ate some food, anything to calm his nerves as you got ready

After an hour or so, you emerged from the bathroom, walking into the kitchen in your full get up

Your hair was straight, see through yellow glasses covering your eyes. You wore a black leotard, the fabric hugging your curves as a beige cape draped around your thighs. Two purple belt laid against your hips, drawing attention to your plush thighs as your boots clicked around the apartment

Poor Tamaki practically choked on his cereal when you walked in-when you said you were wearing a costume, you didn’t tell him it was his hero suit!

Tamaki walked over a blush erupting over his face, “Y-y/n? W-what are you-wearing?”

You spin around, guilt pooling in your stomach as your eyes met your boyfriends flustered gaze

“I’m sorry Tamaki I should have told you! The party is “hero” themed, so I thought the best suit to wear was yours-do you...want me to take it off?”

Tamaki vigorously shook his head, his cheeks a fiery red

“N-no! Please don’t! Honestly, that’s the last thing I want...” he stuttered his shaking hands resting on your hips and pulling you gently to his chest

You had never seen Tamaki so bold-your eyes widened, your hands placed against his chest

“-but I don’t think you should go to that party tonight”

Bakugo

You ran over to Bakugo, your phone screen containing a pic of a cosplayer dressed up in full Bakugo hero suit, gauntlets and all

You legit shoved it into your boyfriends face, your face beaming- “look how cool this costume is!”

“Tch-Only I can wear my hero suit as well as me,” Bakugo scoffed, going back to eating his ramen

You looked at him distraught and disbelief- “Cmon, Bakugo, you had to admit it’s pretty cool-“

“Cool? He’s a fucking wierd ass nerd, making my hero suit...” Bakugo said under his breath, his eyes now glaring at his phone screen

You placed your hands on your hips- “So if I wore your hero suit, I would be ‘wierd ass nerd’?”

Bakugo chuckled harshly- “Yeah-but you couldn’t wear it, like I said, I’m the only one who can pull it off-“

Ha-if that fucker wanted to play, then you were here to win

You slammed your hands down on the table, your arms encasing a surprised Bakugo in between your arms

You gave him a wicked grin, making Bakugo’s crimson eyes wide with surprise-“Bet bitch.”

Y’all are so mean to each other 😳

You stomped out of the room, your mind now reeling-you had ZERO idea how to make his costume...

You quickly made a call to Mina and Momo, telling them about your predicament-Mina would help you design, and Momo would help make the materials

Both were extremely open to helping you, especially Mina-any attempt to destroy Bakugo’s overly high ego, she was down to do!

But she had a twist to your intial plan- “what if you did a sexy version of him! That’d show him!”

You weren’t exactly sure how that would do anything, but eh why not-if you could make him even more mad, this was the way to do it

Momo was hesitant to make such a lewd outfit, but you quickly reminded her of her revealing hero outfit

-she quickly agreed after that

Mina designed the “suit”-honestly it was just a bra with two orange X’s, bootie shorts with a grenade belt, and green ribbon connecting to the black thigh high boots

You complained to Mina about how uncomfortable the high heel was, which she responded with “Beauty is pain!”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes

How would Bakugo’s suit be complete without the gauntlets! You three had the hardest time with that-deifnitely spent a whole day watching 3 hours worth of cosplay tutorials to make those damn things

But after many hours of snacking, hot glue guns, and screams of annoyance, you three FINALLY had the costume finished-and you couldn’t be happier! It honestly made you feel so cool and powerful...especially those gauntlets-

no wonder why he wore the clunky things, they honestly were fun to wear

You decided to wear the outfit before Bakugo came home one day, your face smug as you waited for him to enter your shared apartment

You finally heard the click of the door, Bakugo wearing his usual baggy pants and shirt he wore when he came home, his shoulder holding his duffel bag full of things

“-Hey”, he welcomed you gruffily, not even noticing your attire

“Hey yourself-“ you replied, a shit eating grin on your face as you walked over to him.

He still wasn’t looking, too busy rummaging through his bag- “Am I still a wierd ass nerd?”

Bakugo looked up, and holy shit was he in for a sight

When you said you would make his hero suit, he didn’t take it that seriosuly- you? Make his suit? Psh like that’d happen

BUT IT HAPPENED

You looked-really good in it too-he deifnitely was appreciating the extra skin that was involved 😳

You smirked at his obvious surprise, his cheeks a fiery red as you did a small spin in the suit- “How does it look?”

Suddenly you felt pressure against your wrists from Bakugo’s hands, your back now against the wall as Bakugo drank you in with his piercing red eyes

Now it was your turn to be surprised-cause crap you didn’t expect that to happen

He was now in control of the situation and he knew it-he gave you a shit eating grin, making your blood feel incredibly warm

“-it looks decent...but I think it would be better on the floor”

Kaminari

“Mina no, I’m not-“

You were in shock, flabbergasted, confused-when did they have a intimates based off of hero suits?

AND WHY THE HELL DID THEY HAVE YOUR BOYFRIENDS SUIT

“MINA YES!” she squealed, giggling as she pulled your size out of the rack

The little outfit was pretty revealing- all it was was a white lacy bralette, with a short black jacket with white lighnting bolt decal and a short black leather skirt to match

It was honestly not your thing-it also just felt wierd to wear something like this-

“Your buying it and that’s that-you needed neccesities and this-“ she shook the outfit in your face, “is a necessity!”

The girl seriosuly shouldn’t be allowed to spend money-she stuffed the outfit in her full bag of clothes, bouncing over to the register as you followed her from behind

“I needed bras Mina, not lingerie!”

Yeah she didn’t listen

You finally got home, trying on your new outfits from your shopping spree when you fell upon the set shoved in your shopping bag

The little pink sneak

You pulled it out-it wouldn’t hurt to try it on, she did buy it for you...

You quickly got into it, admiring your body in the mirror-it was tight alright, but kinda cute in ...the skirt accentuated your legs, the bra was decently comfy, and the jacket pulled the whole thing together and made it a pretty cool yet revealing outfit

Just as you were testing out how much movement you had in the leather jacket,you heard the door open to the bedroom you and your boyfriend shared

“Hey babe, do we have any more toilet-“ Kamianri waltzed in, unknowingly oblivious to the scene before him, until he laid eyes on you

You never thought you saw the man blush harder-his eyes were wide with shock, his cheeks a hot shade of red as sparks of electricity flashed around his body

He obviously didn’t know how to react, and in his flusteredness, he somehow slipped on the floor, landing with a hard thud

“Denki!” You yelled out, scrambling to your ditzy boyfriend, “you okay?”

Kaminari gazed up at you, and holy crap he felt blessed- he had a full view of your exposed cleavage, a grin growing on his face as blood tricked down from his nose

“Oh no, Kami, you got a bloody nose-“ you scrambled to get him a towel, kneeling down to place it against his nose

He quickly swiped the blood away, his hands instead pinning yours against your back

“-Dont worry about that,” he grinned, his eyes a dangerous shade of yellow, “let’s worry about you babygirl...and where you got that little get up,”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Taggings:

@weebartistinc​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​ @bakarinnie​ @johnnysactualgf​

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Woooooooooo notes for ep 2 of my Minecraft Diaries Rewrite

Something i really appreciate abt the way the episodes have been structured so far is that we start off with a "cutscene" thats completely divorced from Aphmaus pov and then the rest of it is just focused on Aphmau and her perspective. Like, I really dont think theyll keep that sort of structure in the OG but I'll see if I can keep it in the rewrite bc I really love stories (books in particular) where the POV is shared between multiple characters but its done in this sorta way where it makes sense and is consistent and makes the story feel very symmetrical, yknow?

Rather than Zenix watching Aphmau just like, talk to some villagers, I think he should be watching her save someone who fell into the well, maybe somehow imply that hes been watching her since the day before when she arrived to make sure shes not causing trouble or smth

ALSO Zenix is not gonna be a love interest!!! not even potentially!!! Listen, i dont remember Zenix doing fuck all in this series, I didnt even remember that there was a fucker named Zenix there, but I know Aphmaus Minecraft Series well enough to know that there are gonna be A BUNCH of potential love interests and I'd rather keep that number down

Other than that, Im keeping the scene the way it is basically bc its honestly fine. Like, the dialogue of the No Name Guard thats w/ Zenix is kinda tryhard ig but im assuming hes just gonna be a one off character so it doesnt really matter

Back w/ Aphmau, she wakes up, walks around the village and talks to the villagers again

Someone falls into the well somehow and then we get Aphmau saving them but from her perspective this time

The person who almost drowned is ecstatic and thanking her n shit and Aphmau is responding in the typical way you respond to that stuff when youre a Humble Heroine and thats when she and Garroth actually have their first little interaction (instead of the thing in OG Diaries where he comments on her making the streets look nicer)

Its very short and pretty insignificant, Garroth obviously thanks her too and stuff (maybe he gives her a lil compliment but i dont remember if he would that at this point) but hes never seen her before so he asks her who she is and how she got there. Aphmau is like "Oh yea my names Aphmau and I... dont. remember anything else. huh" and then realizes how suspicious that probably sounds and quickly tells him shes busy and scrurries off

She just kinda walks through the village in order to lose him and get to her house and everyone is like, commenting on her being new and how shes a hero and stuff, maybe some of them even approach her directly to say something idk

When she arrives at her house she thinks it might be better to leave n explore for a bit, just in case the guard(s) wanna try something bc thes think shes suspicious or smth

Like in the OG, she comes to this beach and sees some villages on the water/in the distance, but she doesnt actually go to them she just kinda chills for a few hours, maybe tries to make some plans on what to do next/how to contact them (this could maybe sort of tie into what Garroth n Zenix were talking about with them being unable to contact others)

She returns to the village when the sun is setting and everyone is getting ready to lock themselves in their houses again to avoid all the mobs and while she also goes home, the villager she saved approaches her

Its Emmalyn!! I just remembered that shes actually kind of an important side character once the story starts properly, so yea shes here now

She tells Aphmau that shes the one from the well incident and thanks her again. Aphmau tells her its no big deal and that its what anyone wouldve done and goes to open the door to which Emmalyn asks if thats really where she lives. Aphmau says yea and Emmalyn offers to let her sleep at her home, at least until they can repair the abandoned house Aphmau is staying in

Aphmau thanks her profusely and gets all her stuff to move in, maybe they have a bit of an argument bc Aphmau doesnt wanna intrude but Emmalyn insists?? Idk

Then we could maybe have a scene where the of them are actually bonding a bit and getting to know each other a lil but Im not fully sure if I wanna do that bc I dont remember how important Emmalyn is exactly. But also, its important for the audience to get attached to this village anyway so it might not really matter idk

yea thats it, I feel like this episode was overwhelmingly filler and I just dont have anything to say so until next time!!

[kindlyre]

😳😳😳 OMG

THE IDEA OF KOKICHIS FATHER USING MENTAL HEALTH STIGMA *AGAINST* KOKICHI IS SO INSANE (AFFECTIONATE) OMG

im still playing w my kokichi mento illness hcs but i ttthink im gonna go w bpd? we'll see what this little fucker does tho, im not writing him, hes writing me

also fun facts theres a link between adhd and conduct disorder in that if you abuse a kid w/adhd theres a greater than average chance that theyll develop conduct disorder and lbr.... yes thats where i got it from 😔

(also WE OUT HERE NOT HAVING SHIT ON OUR RECORDS!! my ONLY on-paper dx is ptsd and even then i wish i didnt have that. i do not want my doctors diagnosing me w crazy bitch syndrome when i need painkillers)

(also ps osdd system too!! mine is weird in that like.... we USED to function like an osdd1a system but then i moved out and they were like "FUCK being fragments all my homies HATE being fragments" and since their job was done and they didnt NEED to be a mental epipen to influence me, they developed full personalities n shit. so now we are an osdd1b system? i also practice soulbonding, which yk having that practice very much helped when i discovered the traumagenic alters. like, i alr knew how to do system shit)

also wrt resources. first off: DO NOT GO ON REDDIT do NOT GO ON QUORA and if u see a couple like, sociopath specific forums on The Internet. do not go there as well

aspd tumblr is the most Normal About It, all those other places are the most self cannibalizing fakeclaimers of All Time. aspd tiktok is a mix of people farming it for clout and people just talking about it and tbh i dont rly interact with it uuuhhh at all

on tumblr tho your-aspd-dad is a very good resource!! used to be run by one mod, then a bunch, sadly abandoned. it was me reading that blog for character research and going "haha, i do that!!! and that! and that. and that... and....that..... oh no" that started my wonderful journey into hell

i also used to talk a LOT about aspd on my durarara blog @wawawawawawawawawawawawawa but ur gonna have to deal w gay twink meta framing it, just filter by my original posts n they should all come up evenchually

theres also this one article called "the hidden suffering of the psychopath" which is apparently controversial but idfk anything abt that. but i feel the need to mention it bc its author is a diagnosed psychopath (hes an older guy so his dx was from back when they still did that) and a lot of it is drawing from personal experience and like, its very imperfect but i like it a lot. makes me feel hashtag seen. not many people rly talk about that kind of thing yk?

id answer more but im lowk REALLY bad at open ended questions 😭 but just off the top of my head: i was in a relationship for SIX YEARS before i realized that he did actually feel bad for accodentally hurting me and his apologies werent just handwaving stuff to get me to shut up. breaking news remorse exists! big if true. its been a few years since i realized this and honestly its just funny af now but like. for Six Of God's Own Years. i forgot remorse existed and that people felt it

@kindlyre

Okay I'm VERY curious as to what mental illness you're writing Rantaro to have because it seems to be one of those stigmatized ones and I'm v curious???

[kaitawrites]

Mother Fucker

Ｄａｂｉ ｘ Ｓｔｅｐ Ｍｏｍ Ｒｅａｄｅｒ

Warnings: 18+, Nsfw, Yandere, Drugs, Choking, Somnophillia, Humilation, Degrading, Incest Notes: I just UGHHH, I wish I could have done better but AH Here ya go

You were wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, your phone in front of your face as you texted your husband. Enji had to  stay at his office to get caught up with all the papers he has to sign. Your bottom lip quivered in sadness. You wouldn't be able to see him tonight.

You were going to be away from your hubby Enji, the number one pro hero. You knew he was a big deal but that didn't change the fact that you're alone in the house, almost alone. Touya was the only one home with you. But he is mostly in his room. You stretched, your limbs popping. A huge yawn escapes your lips.

"Some ice-cream sounds good." You mumble to yourself, trudging towards the kitchen. Unaware to the figure watching you with a sinister expression. You take a spoon and skip towards the couch with your tub of ice-cream. (What is your favorite ice-cream? I like cookie dough)

You take a few spoonful while watching the random show on tv. It took five scoops to get you sleepy. You lick your lips and place the ice-cream down. Maybe you should just rest your eyes. You hum with delight at the thought. Your eyes flutter close as you rest against the couch. You were rolled up into a cute little ball.

You felt your body getting hot and you let out a groan of frustration. "Why is it so hot?" You muttered to yourself. You forced your heavy eyes open and your heart dropped to your stomach at the sight before you.

Touya was on top of you. Touya was in you. You look down at your body to see that you were naked. Stripped of your clothes, just like Touya. He stares into your eyes, a cocky grin on his lips. "Oh, You're finally awake. I thought I was going to have to do this all by myself, mom."

You try to wiggle out of his grasp but his hold was firm. His blue eyes dark and hazy. "Where do you think you are going? I need help and you are supposed to help me." Touya states darkly. He leans closer to your face as he slowly thrusts his cock into you.

You heart thumped wildly, tears beginning to fall. "Touya, Please. Get off of me." You plead helplessly. Touya stops his movements and stares down at your trembling body. His eyes softened a bit and his hand goes down to hold your cheek.

"Shh, Don't cry." He whispers and kisses your cheek softly. "I'm going to treat you way better than my father could ever. So just sit back and enjoy it." His hands on your waist once again. And that's when you realize that he wasn't going to stop. Not until he was done.

You tried to think of anything to make him stop. "I will tell your father! Enji will know a-and..." You stuttered out. Touya lets out a laugh. "Do you think I care what my father says?" His hands gripped your waist tighter. "But that was cute."

A devilish grin appeared on his lips. And your heart sank to the pit of your stomach. You were afraid this was going to be the result. You tried to move away from Dabi but Dabi had a firm grasp on you. No matter how much you wiggle, you were to weak and your body was began to feel itchy. "What did you do to me?" You couldn't help but pant out. Sweat dripping down your forehead as you look up at Touya before you.

Touya picks you up into his arms and he turns to lay himself onto the bed. "Just slipped somethings into your ice-cream, make you feel ten times better." He chuckles. You couldn't help but think 'Poor Ice-Cream, My Baby. How could you betray me!' But your shake those thoughts away once Touya impales you on his cock once again.

A strangled gasp moan escaped your lips. Touya was way longer than his father. Your mouth agape as your back arched away from Touya's chest. "See, I told you I was going to do better than my father. I'm gonna make you scream." Touya's mouth latches onto your shoulder, sucking and biting. Instead of feeling pain, your body tingles and you let out a moan in pleasure. Your eyelids get heavy and they droop a bit.

"H-ha, what- Why am I so h-hot?" You felt Touya's lips curve up into a smirk on your shoulder. "Thats the drug. It's finally kicking in." Touya chuckles into your neck and he begins to lift your body up so he was able to drives into your little cunt. "W-wait!" You cry out, you had a tight grasp on his arm.

"Do you know how long I have been waiting?" He growls into your ear. You were unable to respond with the way Touya drilled into you. "Do you know how many times I imagined you bent over in front of me? Have your soaking pussy around my cock? I can't wait anymore, I want you to cum all over my fat cock." Touya's finger latched onto your beading sensitive clit. His warm fingers circulating your clit aggressively. The smirk on his lips widen when you begin to moan out desperately.

Your body begins to twitch and your moans begin to pitch higher. "I-I'm so close, mm Please, Touya." You didn't find horror in the way you moved your hips harshly onto Touya. You didn't care anymore. All you could be caring about at the moment was the best orgasm that was approaching.

That's when you feel something cold dragging along your walls. A chocked moan escaped your lips. "Heh, Like my piercings?" Touya questions and you can't help but nod your head. The small piercing like ball was drilling against a bundle of nerves that had you screaming. "Oh, Fuck. Touya, please." You began to beg as your stomach tightens and your legs began to shake with anticipation.

"Go ahead, Baby. Cum all over Daddy's cock." Touya's deep voice rings through your ears. And as if it was a command, Your body jolted as your fluids soak Touya's lower body. Touya's eyes glistened and a huge grin appeared on his lips at the new found information. "Oh, You're a squirter huh? I'm gonna have so much fun with you."

Touya picks up your limp body and place you on your hands and knees. "Your gonna take all the cum Daddy's gonna give you, right?" He buries your head into the sheets as his cock drives into your soak insides. You couldn't even moan anymore, your mouth agape but not a single noise escaping while you were in your blissed out form.

Your eyes lazily looked up at Touya. You watched him thrust harshly with a determined ambition. He continously hit the spot that made you scream but you were unable to. Your body limp but shaking. Yet another orgasm racked through your body and your fluids drip over Touya's member. Your walls also tightening around him. A deep animalistic growl escaped his lips as he ruts against you, chasing his release.

"Fuck, I'm going to fill you up." Touya's cock twitches as he empties himself inside you. He wraps his arms around you and big spoons you. He buries his head into your neck, catching your scent. "You're all mine now." Touya watches you close your eyes to sleep. He wrapped his arms around you protectively.

[nobody7102]

We Are Here

Paring: Eddie Kaspbrak x reader

Warnings: Slight abuse(physical and sexual), swearing, attempted suicide, fluff, bad spelling.

Word count: 2284 words

Request by @artlovingbre​

Prompt: I was wondering if you can do an Eddie Kaspbark x reader when they are at the hotel and Eddie was cleaning up after the leaper part at the pharmacy and the reader is in her room looking for something and Henry is in her room instead of Eddie’s and he tried to force himself on her and Richie, Eddie, Ben, and Benverly saves her. And Eddie comforts her in the end.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post this, I’ve been a little busy with school but I’m proud that I finally have this done. I altered it a little bit from the request, I hope you enjoy!

     The water of the shower could be heard through the thin walls of the hotel, and the smell of vomit wafted in the air though there was no vomit in Y/N’s room, there was however vomit in Eddie’s room next door. 

     Y/N had been lucky in getting her token, yes her quest for it was horrifying due to nearly getting trapped by your own mind. 

     That damn flower, your token had been in the form of a bundle of bloodroot. Given to you by your personal living hell Henry Bowers, after the losers club disbanded in 1989 Bowers had for some reason taken an interest in you, and thus for the last few weeks of summer you were his personal indentured servant. Doing whatever he wanted you to do, but the line in the sand held up when it came to anything illegal and sexual. He never got more than a makeout.

     In Derry the flower was only found near the river, so that’s where you went. From the other Loser’s standpoint they would have thought that Bowers was the challenge Pennywize made that you had to get past in order to get your token. But it was yourself.

     You watched yourself emerge from the river, and almost was pulled into the river itself. When she had gotten back from the river Eddie had met her outside of the hotel doors taking in each other's shaken state, and upon entering Beverly, Ben, Bill, and Mike could be found in the lounge all faces covered with terror as Richie stormed up to his room. No one bothered to ask why you smelled like a wet dog or why Eddie was covered in vomit simply because they knew getting a token was like going through hell.

      What the others didn’t know was that Eddie was the only one who knew about what happened between Y/N and Bowers that summer and he made sure to let you get away from everyone else first knowing you’d be shaken up the worst of the two. Eddie was her rock, and the only girl in Derry that Mrs. Kaspbrak trusted to be alone with her little Eddie-kins. When Y/N wasn’t with Bowers when the losers temporarily disbanded, she was with Eddie calming him over his health worries, him helping her deal with Henry, the two just worked together. And everyone of the losers knew it..

     So here there Y/N sat, water dripping from Y/H/C hair as she tried to calm her racing thoughts. 

     Walking along the bank Y/N watched were the sand met the grass and a tree, that was were she’d find her token. 

     “You know you’ll just end up going back to him” The voice sounded familiar but she couldn’t pinpoint who it was. Nonetheless she continued to walk. 

      “You’ve been his and always will be. Did you really think you could get rid of him by leaving” Looking to the water there stood Y/N, but not Y/N….. another Y/N. Dripping water, lips blue and skin sunk in and her hand outstretched to the Y/N standing on the sandbank.

     Moving to sit father back on the bed Y/N retreated under the blankets, burrowing into them. Closing her eyes and thinking of being back at her apartment ...being wrapped up in a blanket on the couch with Eddie reading a book or just talking. 

     You two were a bit more lucky than the rest of the losers. After you all went off to college and forgot your horrid childhood in Derry, you and Eddie had the luck of meeting at a college party. Since then you and he had been inseparable. He helped you through your time looking for a job and an apartment. You helped him through his divorce with Myra, and long story short you two had already kind of reconnected, became roommates, and needless to say when you and Eddie both got the call from Mike about coming back to Derry, both of you were absolutely terrified. 

     Feeling a shift in weight on the bed, with her eyes still closes Y/N rolled into her side feeling a hand rest on her face. 

     “Eddie?....could you maybe dry off from your shower then do that.”

     “That freak wishes he was me”

     The hand went to your throat and your eyes shot open. Ladies and Gentlemen the one and only Henry Fucking Bowers. 

     “Miss me baby?” A shit eating grin came upon him. 

     Running of the water filled the air as the Y/N from the watery grave stood at the edge of the bank holding a hand out to Y/N. 

     “You know he won’t go away. He will never go away.”

     “...N-no..” she forced herself to speak, “he is locked away, he is in the mental facility….he….he is gone.” 

     “We both know that’s a lie Y/N” water dripped down her face “...and we both know how this’ll end… He will never be gone…..you know what we have to do, do what Mom did. What Stan did… you know its what we have to do.” the watery Y/N backed away submerging herself into the water once again before her head disappeared below the water.

     Y/N slowly made her way over to the water and began to walk in, she knew she shouldn’t but… the memories that came flooding back…. Memories that not even Eddie or derry knew of.

      In his other hand he held a knife gliding it along her cheek “Because I missed you” he dragged it closer to her mouth “I want you to know that I forgive you for that summer baby…..and if you scream” he leaned down to her ear “I’ll do what I should have done 27 years ago.” licking the shell of her ear Bowers slowly moved himself to stand and moved the knife to her abdomen. 

      Looking to the night stand he noticed the flowers

     “I want you to strip baby.... Just like the old days”

     “I didn’t give you jack shit in the old days.” Y/N spat sitting up.

     “Thats what you think baby. But if I rem-” a knock came to the door, “You keep your fucken mouth suck you whore.” digging the knife further into her abdomen but not enough to draw blood. Another knock came. 

     “Y/N, we were all gonna order a pizza.” 

     It was Bev, regardless of what he heard Bowers kept all his attention on Y/N. mumble came from the hall as the conversation about food for the night continued.

     “What did she say?” Ben, he was wise enough to know that Y/N would say something if they interrupted her sleep… he remembered that right?

     “I don’t know, she hasn’t said anything” 

     “She’s probably asleep.”

     No! Come on Ben she yelled at you for waking her up one time after she gave you a warning.

     “Fuckers why haven’t we ordered pizza, is Eddie being picky about having to share?”

     Richie, finally someone who would barge into her room. 

      “Eddie Spaghetti! We are having pizza get over it!” he banded on Eddie’s door, 

     “Fuck-face I have no issue with pizza, they’re waiting for Y/N”

     “Oh...has she given you a warning?”

     Bowers glared daggers at Y/N mouthing “what warning?”

     “This!” she quickly backed away from the knife, grabbing the lamp off of the nightstand on the other side of the bed. Throwing it at him.

     By now everyone outside had heard the lamp being thrown, and shouts of concern filled the air as they rammed the door. 

     “You little whore!” Henry shouted nearly avoiding the lamp. Charging over to the other side of the bed Y/N scrambled trying to get to the bathroom. Catching her arm, Bowers yanked her backwards as the door finally was forced open. 

     Holding the knife back to her abdomen he turned her towards the losers. 

      “Move and the bitch dies.” 

     Bev, Ben and Richie all slowly put their hands up but Eddie tried to make his way over to Y/N and Bowers. 

     “Take one more step and see what happens! I dare you!”

     Water up to her shoulders, tears streaming down her face thoughts flowed through her head and the thought of Eddie… she hadn’t told him how she felt… that she loved him, that she had loved him since childhood, that she fell in love with him again after they had met in college, that coming back to Derry had made all those feelings stronger. Forcing her feet to move back towards land Y/N Felt hands on her shoulders as a force shoved her head below the water. 

     Arms flailing about as the water became a muck with bubbles and dirt she tried forcing herself upwards but the force held her in the same spot. Suddenly everything started to go dark her flailing became weaker and her eyes slowly started to shut. 

     “Eddie plea-”

     “Not another word out of you!” The knife went back into her side, this time drawing a little blood. “Look at all of you, weak. Pathetic.” 

     “Have you seen yourself? You still have that same fucken mullet, it been like fifty yea-”

 “SHUT UP! Shut up germ freak, or your little whore here dies.” 

     If looks could kill Eddie would have just committed over-kill. Fist forming, eyes wide, yet his feet didn’t move knowing the risk of that could happen.

     “Here’s what we’re gonna do fucktards, All of you are gonna go into the next room, and I’m gonna take what’s mine and go back to the barnes. If any of you try anything I will gut her right here righ no-” CLANK! 

     Henry’s grip on Y/N loosened she bolted over to Eddie collapsing into his arms tears streaming down her face..

      Henry had fallen to the ground unconscious as Bill stood over him, the back lid of the toilet in his hands. 

     “Woah Big Bill! How the fuck did you get into the bathroom?!” Richie slowly staggered over to Bowers and Bill, taking the knife out of Bower’s hand. 

     “T-turns out c-limbing in a win-w-window isn’t that h-h-hard.” he dropped the porcelain lid.

     Feeling the weight leave her shoulders she felt someone pull her up from the water. Hearing a voice she thought been dead.

     “Come on Y/N, You know Eddie’s gonna kick your ass. It’s not your time! You’re not meant to be here yet!”

     Groaning feeling the rocks of the sandbank the voice continued. 

     “That’s it Y/N, wake up! You still have to get the flower. Come on I believe in you! Besides you need to tell Eddie, we both know you need to tell him.”

     “Stan?..” Slowly opening her eyes she glanced around before sitting up.

     She was alone. Yet she knew Stan had been there… she felt his presence, had…..had he saved her?

     Seated on the couch in front of the fireplace of the hotel Y/N and Eddie sat next to one and other, Eddie had wrapped a blanket around Y/N he continued a conversation will her trying to take her mind off of what had just happened. This wasn’t the first time Eddie’s had to distract Y/N from having a panic attack, but this was the first time it was after a life or death situation so the steaks were a little higher. 

     “So you think Stan saved you?”

     “I swear to god it was his voice Eddie…..and he…… he pulled me from the water” Y/N had pulled the blanket tighter around herself. “.... he told me it wasn’t my time, and that I-....” she stopped herself taking a breath debating whether she truly wanted to open this door.

     “Hey. You know you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to… we’ve known and lived together long enough for you to know that I’m not gonna push you to say anything.” he took her hand in his. 

     “I know…. But if I don't say this now I don’t think I’ll ever do it… and god I need to say this.” Y/N let out a sigh moving to more face Eddie, squeezing his hand a bit.

     “Eddie… we both know that the relationship that we had as kids was a bit…..”

     “Different” he chimed in chuckling

     She smiled “Yes. Different…. I don’t know if its because we just spent too much time together as kids or because you were there for me when Bowers was my living hell…” she paused taking a breath. “Eddie…. I-......I loved you, I have science middle school and i don’t know how I forgot but after we found each other again in college…. Everything, all of my feelings for you were amplified. And coming back here” she looked at their intertwined hands “It was like opening the floodgates. And Stan was right… I needed to tell you this..” 

     “Oh thank god” Eddie let out a sign squeezing Y/N’s hand back “....Stan would always tell me in high school ‘come on man just tell Y/N how you feel’.... And I never thought anything would happen from it…. Looks like I was wrong… and like you said coming back just heightened everything…...then when I saw Bowers I-...I was terrified, but we’re here and he is gone, far far gone, and I swear to you Y/N I won’t ever let that happen… but we are here and…..and that’s enough right now because I love you and that’s all that matters.”

     Y/N looked up form their hands seeing the smiling Kaspbrak. Moving closer to him she rested her head on Eddie’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist. A soft humm came from the two as he kissed her forehead, not long after that the two passed out on the couch in front of the fire. And they were there. Together in their own little bubble for the time being.

[psychovigilantewrites]

Chapter 9 - 5 Things

Pairing: Jason Todd/Reader

Genre: Smut/Action

Word count: 7,211

Ao3 

Masterlist

A/N: Wow, two chapters in one week! Don't expect this to keep this going lol! This chapter has major trigger warnings for: non-consensual acts, anxiety/panic attacks, mentions/implications of r*pe, violence, drug/sedative use. 

Amazing mood board by: @brokenblossoms36 

Your head was spinning.

Your eyes were watery, your heart palpitating. You struggled to open your eyes, but all you saw was a blur of blinding light. You saw a shadow, a movement, but it was still unclear as the light was piercing your eyes. You tried to shield them with your hand, but found that you couldn’t move it.

You were seemingly tied to a chair.

How did you get there?

Your throat felt dry. A wave of nausea came over you and you gagged, but nothing came out. You blinked away the tears and squinted at the figure now looming in front of you, blocking the light.

It was all coming back to you now.

You were walking from the Academy to the nearest metro station, heading to the public library in Old Gotham- since your usual one burned down. You had noticed a hooded man following you from behind as you turned into a secluded street.

You remember slightly panicking, because despite your training and reflexes, he was much much faster than you were. The next thing you knew, you woke up right where you were.

Your vision cleared as the cloud in your mind disappeared.

Red Hood was looking down at you, arms crossed. This close and vulnerable, he seemed taller than you remembered.

You also remembered that you weren’t Robin at the time. You were a spoiled girl adopted by the billionaire Bruce Wayne.

“W-where am I?” you squeaked, “Wh-who are you?”

Red Hood simply stared.

You tried on the ropes that he tied you with. It was tight, well knotted. You wouldn’t be able to get out of those without assistance.

“P-please,” you quivered your bottom lip, “Please don’t hurt me.”

Silence.

No windows. You couldn’t see a door either. The bright light almost completely blinded you to the dark room you were in.

“My dad is Bruce Wayne,” you pressed on, “He’ll give you whatever you want, just please don’t hurt me.”

You started sobbing, going hysterical in panic.

Then, Red Hood started chuckling. “You’re not a bad actor,” he said.

“I- I- I don’t know what you’re t-t-talking about,” you stuttered in breaths, “Please, just let me go. I won’t tell anyone, I p-pr-omise.”

“Quit the act, baby girl, you’re boring me,” he turned around and walked away from you.

Despite your commitment to acting, you couldn’t help but notice his well sculpted ass that was on your eye level as he strutted away.

“W-wha?” you continued, “Please, mister, I don’t know anything. Please let me go.”

Red Hood leaned against a metal table you only just noticed, “I prefer you snarky and bitchy. This isn’t fun. Quit the act before I make you.”

He was calm, as he always was.

You did suspect that he knew your identities, but you couldn’t risk it.

“You’ve got the wrong girl,” you wailed, “I’m not who you think I am! Please, sir, you have to believe me!”

“You know, I never asked,” he began, “How’s Nightwing?”

“N-nightwing?” you gave a watery hiccup.

“Yes, Nightwing, your older brother, Dick Grayson, ex-Robin, Boy Wonder, et cetera et cetera,” he waved his hand, “What else must I tell you to get you to stop? Bruce Wayne is Batman? How about Barbara Gordon is Oracle? Ring any bells?”

You couldn’t help the shock that appeared on your face. If he knew about Barbara, he was more than just a crazy conspiracy theorist. You decided to drop the act.

You gave one last sniffle and looked at him coldly, relaxing against the cool metal chair that you noticed were bolted to the cement floor.

“There she is,” he walked nearer to you again, noting your immediate change of expression when you conceded.

“He will find me, you know,” you told him.

“I disabled the GPS tracker on your phone. Also the one in your pendant,” he nodded at the jewel around your neck that you wore every day. Bruce had gifted it to you on the first year anniversary of your adoption. It was a silver robin with a small diamond glittering on its breast.

You didn’t even know there was a tracker on it. You mentally cursed Bruce for disguising it in a form of sentiment.

“So what do you want, Red?” you demanded. Surprisingly, you were calm. You didn’t feel any fear. Something told you that he wouldn’t hurt you.

“Nothing in particular,” he shrugged, “Maybe I just wanted you all to myself.”

You scoffed.

“What?” he bent down to meet you in the eye. You could see your own reflection on the white lenses of his mask. “Can’t I just want you? I haven’t seen you in so long. Didn’t you miss me?”

You glared at him. The fucker was mocking you. He was right about you missing him, but still.

“Because I missed you, baby girl.”

Even with the voice scrambler, you noticed his voice had dropped an octave. You gulped, and for some reason, butterflies filled your tummy.

He straightened up, “You look so cute in your uniform. The skirt. Which sexist pig designed it that short and made underage girls wear them?”

He squatted down in front of you and tilted his head. “Pink? Adorable.”

You grit your teeth. You could practically hear him grin. You tried to close your thighs but your legs were tied to the chair, forcing them slightly apart.

“Don’t tell me you kidnapped me just to tie me up and take a peek at my panties, Red,” you scowled.

“I’ve done crazier things, baby girl,” he stood up, “What’s wrong with a little talk?”

“So. Talk,” you hissed.

He reached out an arm towards your face. You forced yourself not to wince and maintained eye contact. He caressed your cheek with his gloved hand, his thumb trailing down to press against your lips.

You bit it.

“Fuck!” he recoiled, and then chuckled, “Should have expected that. I do love your feisty side anyway.”

“You don’t know me, Red. Just because you know my identity, it doesn’t mean shit,” you spat.

“I know you’re not who you pretend to be,” he gripped you by the hair and forced you to face him. The slightly rough pull made your breath hitch. “I know you try to hide it from everyone. You're not the good girl people think you are.”

“The same could be said for every other angsty teen. Try better,” you retorted.

He released your hair and chuckled again, “I really did miss you.‘’

“I’ve been busy, you see. Things to do, people to kill, the usual,” he went on, “Did you see what I left for everyone?‘’

“You mean Black Mask? Sorry to break it to you, but it wasn't much of a surprise. It was either you or him eventually,” you rolled your eyes.

“You really are a bitch, aren’t you?” he hummed.

“That's what you get for tying me to a chair,” you snapped.

“You people ought to be more grateful towards me,” he stated.

“Grateful? Really?” you condescended.

“Black Mask was a gift,” he claimed, “Now you have one crime lord less in the streets.”

“Yet here I am tied to a chair,” you sassed.

“Get over it, even the Bat’s done worse than this,” he chided.

“So what makes you so different from Black Mask? You think you're better than him?” you stated. You would be lying if you said that you hadn't tried to answer that question yourself. That you didn't lie awake at night justifying his actions.

“My, oh, my. Don't tell me you still haven't figured it out?” he mocked you, “I don't do this for any profit. In fact, I'm just like one of you.”

“You are not one of us,” you growled, “We don't kill. We're not barbaric like you are.”

“Which is why you won't ever get anywhere!” he argued, “That's what the Bat always failed to get. You can't stop crime. But you can control it. Thats what I'm doing. And I take the necessary steps to achieve it. The Bat is a coward.”

“You're wrong,” you defended, “He doesn't kill not because he's a coward. It's so much more than that. A person like you would never understand.”

“A person like me, huh?” he suddenly said quietly, the direction of his gaze fell towards the side, as if he was reminiscing. The change of tone surprised you. It made you think that maybe he wasn't always bad.

But it didn't matter who he used to be. What matters is who he is now.

“I'll make you see eventually, you'll understand soon enough,” he squatted down in front of you again, “but for now, let's talk about us.”

“Us?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, baby girl, us. Don't you feel like there's something between us? I feel like there's a spark,” he adopted his tone of mocking again.

“Fuck off,” you snarled.

“I'd be lying if I said I don't think of you as I lie in bed, touching myself. You'd be lying if you said the same right?” he put his gloved hands on your bare thighs. You could feel his heat beneath the leather.

You'd be lying if you said that didn't excite you just a little bit.

“You're too full of yourself,” you responded, “And I happen to have a boyfriend. You're the only pervert here.”

You obviously lied about the boyfriend part. You wanted to seem like you had other things better to do than think of him.

Which, for some reason, seemed even more pathetic.

“Boyfriend?” he laughed, “So what? I bet that doesn't stop you from thinking of me.”

His hands slid up your thighs slowly, bunching up your skirt in the process.

“What are you doing?” your voice went high, “Stop that.”

“When was the last time you told a bad guy to stop and he actually did?” he asked.

He had a point.

Still, you didn't like the way that he didn't disgust you. You didn't like the way that he made you want him to go further up.

And further up he went.

Until he paused at the crease of your thighs, and then suddenly pressed a thumb on top of your clit. A jolt of pleasure shot through you.

“Stop it,” you repeated.

He ignored you again, this time pulling aside your panties and ran his middle finger up in between your lips. The middle finger you’ve thought about countless of times.

With the same thick finger, he pushed inside you slowly, all the way to his knuckles. You felt yourself automatically squeezing around him. You bit your lip.

He started sliding it out, and then back in again. It felt so different, having someone else's finger inside you.

Having his finger inside you.

Then, he curled his finger, hitting a spot inside you that you've never touched before, eliciting a soft moan from you.

Your eyes widen when you realised what you just did, and you turned your head away, blushing.

With that, he took his finger out, and then stood up. His crotch was at your eye level, and you could see his hard on straining against his pants. You didn't realise that your mouth watered at it.

“If only you wore skirts as part of your uniform, we could do that again whenever we meet,” he taunted you.

He didn't comment on your moan, nor the wetness that was left on his finger. Instead, he took off his glove and walked towards the table. His back was towards you now, and you couldn't tell what he was doing. You heard a rustle of plastic. He came back with a piece of black cloth from it and walked behind you.

Suddenly, you saw darkness. You began to struggle as he tied the blindfold, but his grip was too strong.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” you yelled.

“Relax, I'm blindfolding you so I can take off this stupid helmet,” you heard him say, and then you heard a heavy thump on the floor next to you.

“You motivate me, you know?” you heard him breathe in your ear, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand. He masked his voice similar to the way Batman did- it was raspy and gravelly. That close, you could smell him. He smelled like sweat, and leather, and gunpowder.

“You make me want to kill more and more,” he nipped your earlobe, “I killed someone for you, you know that? Did I get a thanks? Of course not.”

“What the hell are you on about?” you snarled.

“Fuck, you drive me insane,” he continued, ignoring your question. He used a hand to grip your hair and pull your head to the side, exposing your neck so he could lick a strip on your pulse. He then started sucking on your skin. “I’ve always wanted to mark you like this.”

You felt hot. You were panting, and the worst part was that you could feel yourself dampening your underwear more than before.

His other hand ripped your shirt open, buttons popping all over the floor. He pushed your bra upwards and grabbed a fist full of your right breast, squeezing hard.

“Mmm,” he moaned, “Finally, I get to feel them. You usually wear too much armor.”

You felt dizzy, hazy, blurry. You were utterly consumed by his heat. You tried so hard not to get turned on, but your body betrayed you.

“Tell me, why do you wear lip gloss while on patrol?” he continued sucking on another spot while he started rolling your nipples in between his fingers, “It makes me wonder how your lips would look like around me.”

You whimpered, and cursed internally. Who knew dirty talk would be your downfall.

“I knew you'd like this,” he chuckled at your reaction, “But I feel like you need a reminder of how scary I can actually be.”

You didn't need one. You knew how terrifying Red Hood was. You felt that fear the first time you met him, and again when he pointed the gun at you in that alley behind the bank. It seemed so long ago.

But that fear had long turned into curiosity. You weren't afraid anymore.

“Black Mask couldn't beg,” he rasped, “Because he was suffocating. I wonder what I should do to you.”

His hand went from your tits to around your neck. And then, and then, you felt it. The panic you felt the first time he got his hand around your neck.

You started thrashing about, anything to prevent him from getting a proper grip on you. But unfortunately, you were tied down.

And he was standing behind you, strong hands around your neck.

“Remember this, baby girl?” he started squeezing, “Doesn't this feel nostalgic?”

He was pressing on your carotid arteries, making you even dizzier than you already were, but you could still gasp for breath.

“I still have a syringe of what I gave Black Mask to paralyse him, I wonder what I should do to you?” he then suddenly released you, making you cough and gag, tears streaming down your face.

“I wouldn't want to ruin that pretty face,” you heard his voice move in front of you, “Maybe I should just keep you here to myself and use you. This job gets stressful. You'd be my own personal fuck toy. I'd ruin your cunt over and over again. You want that?”

Your mind began to race. Would he actually do that? No. No, even if he did, it didn't matter. Because Batman will-

“And then you will know how Batman really is,” he stressed, “You'll cling on to the hope that he's out there looking for you. That he won't give up on you. Batman would be the only thing keeping you sane.”

Yes, yes he was right. Bruce would find you.

“But you know what he’ll do instead?” he continued, voice shaking in evident anger, “He will just forget about you. Even after you're dead and he catches me, all he’ll do is lock me up behind bars. And then he’ll replace you with another child soldier to brainwash.”

No. Bruce wouldn't do that. He loved you. He wouldn't give up. He wouldn't move on.

Would he?

Panic started to rise again, you felt yourself hyperventilating for the first time. What was wrong with you? You couldn't break down just after being kidnapped. Why would you feel this sense of impending doom?

No, it's just Red Hood getting to you. You were just giving him what he wants.

“That's more like the reaction I was looking for,” you heard him growl. You flinched when you felt his hand on your cheek. He was wiping away at your tears, and he was surprisingly gentle.

“There, there,” he sighed, “I’m not going to do that to you. I don't hurt innocents. Though you're far from it.”

You tried to calm yourself down. He was just looking for a reaction?

“I just want you to see Bruce for who he really is, baby girl,” he explained, still caressing your cheek. You found yourself leaning into his warmth, “And I want you to see me for who I really am, and what I've been doing for Gotham.”

Before you could even think of responding, you felt something spray on your face, and then everything faded to black.

***

The first thing you noticed was an annoying beeping sound.

And hushed whispers.

You opened your eyes, blinking away the grogginess. You were on a bed that wasn’t your own, in a room that was unfamiliar.

A hospital room. Private, high end. You tried to prop yourself up, suddenly-

“No, no, lie back down, honey,” an aging woman pushed you gently back into the pillows, where you laid back reclined. “I’ll go get the doctor and your father for you.”

Shortly after, in came Bruce, who rushed to you immediately.

“How are you feeling? Are you okay? What happened?” he bombarded you with questions and more than just his usual serious look on his face.

“I-”

“Mr. Wayne, please,” said a man in a white coat behind him, “She needs to recover first.”

“Yes, yes, of course. I’m sorry,” Bruce stepped back and cleared his throat.

You were taken aback. You’ve never seen Bruce this way before.

The doctor flashed his penlight in both your eyes, and told you to follow it. He then performed a thorax auscultation on you.

“Hello, Miss Wayne. I’m Dr. Kevins. I’m going to have to check several things to make sure you’re doing well. Is that okay?”

You nodded.

“Do you feel dizzy?” he asked you, “Does your head hurt?”

“I feel a bit nauseated actually,” you croaked, “And thirsty.”

“We’ll get you some water just a sec,” he smiled kindly. He looked like he was around his late forties, with greying hair and sunken eyes. “The nausea is probably caused by the sedative he used on you. It’ll go away in an hour or so. But most importantly, do you feel any pain anywhere else?”

“No,” you shook your head, “My neck is a bit sore, but that’s it.”

The doctor pursed his lips, and then looked at Bruce, “Excuse me, Mr. Wayne, but would you please step outside for a moment?”

“Why?” he protested.

“It’s okay, doctor,” you voiced, “I know what you’re going to ask me. No, my genitalia does not hurt. He didn’t do anything to me.”

“Okay then,” he sighed a breath of relief, “We did a physical on you while you were unconscious. It doesn’t look like anything’s wrong, except for a little dehydration. We just wanted to make sure.”

“Cool,” you shrugged, “Can someone tell me what happened?”

“We found you unconscious outside our emergency room on the floor,” the doctor responded, “We checked the security footage and saw a man in a red helmet walk in and left you there. He is a wanted criminal. The police are right outside to ask you a few questions. If you’re not ready for that, I’ll make them wait.”

“I’m fine, you can call them in,” you told him.

The doctor left to get the cops, and you and Bruce shared a long eye contact, silently communicating. I’ll tell you everything later, you tried to convey.

He gave you a stiff nod.

“Mr. Wayne, Miss Wayne,” Gordon himself came in through the door, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m hungover, Commissioner,” you smiled.

“I’m going to ignore that, since you’re underaged,” he chuckled, “Can I ask you a few questions?”

“Shoot.”

He took out a pen and a small notebook from his trench coat.

“What was the last thing you remember before you blacked out?” he began.

“I was walking to the metro station,” you explained, “It was around two in the afternoon. I noticed someone following me, but didn’t think much of it. I remember turning into a secluded area, and then I heard him running towards me. Before I could turn around, I just… Went black. It happened so fast.”

“And this man, what did he look like?”

“He was big. Maybe around Bruce’s size, but I can’t be sure. I couldn’t see his face. He was wearing a baseball cap and had a hoodie on,” you struggled to remember any other details about the man behind the mask.

“What happened next?”

“I woke up in a dark room, with this really bright light shining at me. I couldn’t see any windows, or doors. I was tied to a chair,” you pretended to tremble, “I was so scared.”

“I know, Miss Wayne,” Gordon comforted you, “I’m sorry for doing this, but I absolutely have to ask you to recall everything, before you forget. It’s essential to catch the man responsible for this.”

“I know,” you wiped away a single tear, “It’s okay. I saw a man in a red helmet. But not like a motorcycle helmet. It covered his whole face. And it had white eyes. It looked weird.”

“Did he have a red bat symbol on his chest?” Gordon pressed.

“Uhm,” you bit your lip, “I think so. I can’t- I can’t be too sure. It was dark, and the light blinded me.”

“That’s okay, you’re doing real good Miss Wayne,” Gordon smiled.

You held back a smile at how well Gordon treated you. If only he knew you were the same girl who witnessed Black Mask’s peeled face.

“I- I’m not sure what he wanted,” you stuttered, “He t-touched me. But not there!”

You had to reveal it. There was no hiding it from Bruce this time, thanks to the probable hickies on your neck.

“He… I think he didn’t know who I was,” you invented your lie, “But when I told him I was Bruce Wayne’s daughter, he immediately stopped whatever he was doing. Maybe he didn’t want to mess with Bruce, since he’s… rich and all.”

“There’s no doubt your father is rich, Miss Wayne, but I don’t think something like that would stop him,” Gordon huffed, his forehead scrunched up in a frown deeper than before, “This is interesting. Why would he be scared of you, Mr. Wayne?”

“Maybe he thinks I’m Batman,” Bruce simply shrugged.

You coughed out loud in shock.

“Well, he wouldn’t be the first person out there,” Gordon smirked, “No offense, Bruce, but you’re hardly the crime fighting type.”

“None taken, Jim,” Bruce grinned, “I can’t afford to get my face injured. It’s what gets investors after all.”

“What happened after that?” Gordon rolled his eyes at Bruce and turned back to you. “Did you hear any sounds? Maybe water, or vehicles? Was there anyone else there?”

“Th- that’s all I remember,” you scratched your head, “Next thing I knew, I was here.”

“Okay,” Gordon closed his notepad, “Thank you, Miss Wayne. I’m sorry that something like this happened to you. This one’s a bit tricky but I promise we’ll catch him.”

“I don’t doubt it, Commissioner,” you have him a big grin.

He paused for a moment, suddenly staring at you with an intense look in your eyes, as if he was searching for something.

“What’s wrong?” your smile faltered.

“No- nothing,” he shook his head, “You just- remind me of someone.”

“Your beautiful daughter perhaps?” you suggested.

“Y- yeah,” he nodded slowly, “Yeah, that’s it. You and Barbara both have the same smile.”

“What a compliment,” you giggled.

“You get well soon, Miss Wayne,” he nodded at you and at Bruce, “Mr. Wayne.”

“Commissioner,” Bruce nodded back.

Gordon left.

“That was close,” you breathed a sigh of relief.

Bruce pulled the sofa nearer to your bed.

“Are you really okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said, “Just tired.”

“I’ll let you rest. We’ll talk when we get back,” Bruce got up to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“To deal with the press,” he fixed his hair and tie at the glass window, reflecting his handsome face, “Bruce Wayne’s daughter missing for 24 hours and then found on the emergency room floor? The media is going crazy.”

“I bet,” you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, drifting to sleep once more.

You thought you felt a pair of lips press themselves on your forehead.

*** “So. What really happened?” Bruce asked once you settled down in the manor.

You finally got discharged from the hospital after another day they kept you under observation. The both of you were now in the dining room, finishing up a light dinner.

You put down your cutlery and took a deep breath.

“How he got me was the truth, and I woke up in a dark room with a bright light shining in my eyes. First I acted like a civilian, crying and begging. I told him that my father was Bruce Wayne and that he would give him anything for my release,” you began your story, “But he told me to drop the act. I didn't. I acted dumb. And then he asked me how Nightwing was. How Dick Grayson, my older brother was. He told me he knew you were Batman. But what really hit the jackpot, was the fact that he knew Barbara was Oracle.”

Bruce leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting on the table, his chin on top of his knuckles.

“So I decided to drop it,” you continued, “I figured if he knew that, he was more than just… One of those crazy conspiracy theorists. Anyway, I asked him what he wanted and he… He was just playing around.”

“Playing around?”

“Yeah, like he wasn't being serious about it. Like he kidnapped me just to mock me. He told me that… He missed me,” you avoided eye contact with Bruce, “He also said something about how we should appreciate what he does for Gotham. That he was technically one of us.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah, exactly my thought,” you agreed, “He has this delusion that he's doing good, more good than we are. He mentioned Black Mask, and how he was a gift. Because now there's one less crime lord in the streets. I told him that he's not like us. We don't kill. And then- and then he got a bit emotional.”

“How so?”

“Well, the whole time he was relatively calm. But when we got to the topic of you,” you hesitated, “He seemed frustrated. He said it's the one thing you will never get. He said that you can't stop crime, and you can only control it. And that's what he was doing.”

“He thinks he is controlling crime?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“And what about… All that,” Bruce gestured to his own neck instead of yours.

You thought of how he touched you, how he had his hands underneath your panties and put his finger inside you. You decided to leave that out.

“He came up behind me and blindfolded me,” you started blushing, “He took off his helmet and-”

“He took off his helmet?” Bruce looked at you, the creases in between his eyebrows deepening, his shoulders suddenly tense.

“Yes, but I couldn't see anything,” you told him, “I was blindfolded.”

You noticed how Bruce relaxed his shoulders- very slightly.

“He said I motivated him,” you continued, “He masked his voice- like how you always do. I didn't recognise it.”

“Go on.”

“He said he killed for me,” you frowned, now remembering that odd statement he made, “I don't know what he meant by that. He never clarified. And then- he started to- do this.”

You waved at your neck, still avoiding eye contact.

“And then he started choking me,” you quickly went on, “He said he was considering keeping me there and… Tormenting me. And that the only thing that would keep me sane is the thought of you coming for me. But then he said that you wouldn't. That you would just… Replace me.”

You glanced at Bruce now, who was just silent, absorbing in everything you were saying. There was on odd expression in his eyes. Was it sadness?

“The last thing he said to me was that he wanted me to see you for who you really are, and see him for who he really is and what he's doing for Gotham.”

You waited for a response.

Finally, Bruce said “I see.”

Very anticlimactic.

“What do you see?” you prompted.

“It's even clearer now that he targeted you to get to me. He's trying to turn you against me,” Bruce spoke.

“I think I got that already,” you rolled your eyes, “But why? And what's this about replacing me?”

He remained silent, staring into space.

“Bruce,” you began, “We’ve been through this. You need to tell me things.”

“There's nothing to tell.”

“There's obviously something to tell,” you argued, “I just got kidnapped by him! Isn't it time for you to tell me who he is?”

“I don't know who he is,” he insisted.

“That's a big fat lie and you know it,” you accused.

“I'm lying for your own good!” he started to raise his voice.

“My own- my own good?” you scoffed, and then stood up, “Haven't you been paying attention, Bruce? I. Got. Kidnapped. By. Him. Obviously keeping me in the dark is not helping.”

“Back down,” Bruce rose from his seat as well to tower over you, “Now.”

“Don't you care about me Bruce?!” you yelled

“Of course I care! Which is why-”

“Don't give me that bullshit!” you fumed, “You keep on telling me to trust you-”

“I said back down, Robin-”

“But trust goes both wa-”

“BACK DOWN, JASON!”

You gaped at him, not believing your ears. You've always been insecure. You always thought that Bruce either adopted you out of guilt, or worse.

As a replacement.

It was the first time he ever mistakenly called you him.

The ghost of Jason Todd had caught up to you.

“I mean- I meant-” Bruce tried to correct himself, horrified at what he had just said.

You turned and left.

***

He was tired.

Jason was tired.

The rain made his bones ache.

The past few weeks had taken a toll on him. He went out almost every single night to do his job- be it kill a few people, extract information, deal with Moehler’s international contacts, and also deal with the people under him who has broken rules or planned to start a coup. They thought he didn't know. He’ll deal with them later.

He had gotten back from his money collecting run, taking the profits from the people beneath him. Through whispers and some interrogating, he found out about some insignificant rebels. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with those now.

He took a shower, and laid naked in bed, splayed on his back.

He probably should put on some clothes. It was getting cold.

Though, he was used to it.

There were so many times when he was a kid living in the streets that he had to deal with the cold without much insulation. Even when he had a roof over his head, it wasn’t like his parents paid for a heater.

Parents.

The reason why he became Robin was because his parents were bad. The reason why he died was because his biological mother betrayed him. And the reason why he was who he is now-

No. Bruce was never a father to him. He refused to admit it.

Bruce was just looking for a soldier to brainwash.

A soldier like you. He had brainwashed you pretty well. Jason wondered what words of encouragement Bruce had given to you, that he probably gave Jason as well, all those years ago.

When Jason saw you start to panic, he knew. He knew that you knew deep down, Jason was right. Which meant that Bruce probably had not changed since Jason died.

Did Bruce ever tell you “good job”? Did Bruce ever fuss over your injuries? Did Bruce ever gave you affection?

He doubted it.

After all, Jason knew Bruce. The only thing Bruce cared about was his past.

Justice.

Or so Bruce liked to call his own insecurities, an excuse to not move on from the traumatic childhood he faced.

Bruce was the fucked up one here, not Jason.

Jason was perfectly sane.

Not that he cared about how Bruce raised you. Not that he cared that you were probably facing the same problems he did, all those years ago. After all, Jason was just using you to get to him. He knew what he was doing was obvious, but it didn’t matter.

It only took one trigger- and you would spiral. As long as you had any doubt about Bruce, Jason’s plan would work.

“Fuck,” he said out loud. The rain outside was hitting hard like pellets on his metal roof.

Jason was tired.

He closed his eyes, and remembered how you looked when he started touching you. How your breath hitched, how your voice went high, how you let out the tiniest moan.

Jason smirked to himself.

You were probably craving him all those weeks you didn’t meet- it was part of his plan after all. And the moment he gave you all the attention you wanted, you got wet.

Withdraw, and then attack.

It was an excellent strategy. To get you to miss him so much that you welcomed his touch.

And welcome him you did.

Jason wasn’t blind. He saw how you looked at his hard on straining against his pants.

Remembering those scenes again made blood shoot to his cock. He remembered finally being able to feel your tits.

Fuck.

He reached down and fisted his cock- now hard and leaking. He gave himself a few light strokes, remembering how much he wanted to fuck you right then and there.

The glove.

He opened his eyes and walked towards his backpack, his erection slapping his lower belly with every step, and took out the ziplock he had put his glove in. He took it out, and collapsed on the bed again.

He was wearing the glove when he fingered you.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the glove.

The smell of leather was overpowering, but faintly, he smelled you. He kept it in a ziplock bag for a reason.

It was equivalent to panty sniffing, and Jason thought about how absolutely pathetic he was being- but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Because you always drove him insane anyway.

His cock was leaking on his stomach, and he stroked himself to the faint sweet tangy smell of your juices on his glove. Maybe he should have taken a taste instead.

Would that have driven you wild as much as it would him?

God, and your tits. It was so soft, so supple, and it was spilling in his hand. He just wanted to see it bounce. Why must you wear so much armor?

Jason was sweating now despite the cold, the sound of rain outside drowning his pants and moans.

He wouldn’t call it backfire, but Jason’s plan to not see you for so long also affected him more than he thought it would.

He stroked himself faster, and squeezed himself tighter, imagining your mouth drooling over the head of his cock.

Fuck. He told you your lip gloss made him think of that, didn’t he? And what did you do? You fucking whimpered.

“Fuck,” Jason groaned. He loved how much you liked it when he talked dirty to you. He loved how you tightened around his finger.

Pleasure and heat built up and spread, making his toes curl. Finally, he came all over his fist, spilling onto his abdomen.

He huffed.

After cleaning up, he decided to text you. It was about time anyway.

Hey, Princess. I'm sorry I haven't texted you in so long. Life just got in the way, and I was facing some personal issues. I hope you're not mad. Anyway, I read about what happened in the papers. Putting the fact that you didn't tell me you were THE Wayne kid aside, are you okay? he sent the text.

He was hoping to prey on your kindness and understanding.

And he saw you typing back almost immediately.

Hey, Jason. Don't worry, I'm not mad. I completely understand. I've had times like that too. And I'm okay, a bit shaken up, but still okay. Also, you didn't tell me your last name so why would I tell you yours? you replied with a winky face at the end.

Touché. Would you be up to meeting me at Robinson Park tomorrow? I'll get you ice cream. It’s the least I could do, he asked.

That would be great! I’ll see you around three? you texted back.

It’s a date, doll, Jason sent with another winky face.

He knew that one text would make you giddy with excitement.

*** Jason was self-conscious in public.

Whenever he walked in the daylight without his helmet on, he felt like everyone was staring at him, judging him. His scars, his scowl, his crooked nose that had been broken and reset again so many times.

So he usually kept his head down, and his calloused hands in his pockets, avoiding the glares he knew deep down was just part of his imagination.

Until he saw you waiting at the park bench wearing a white sundress, the slight breeze blowing your hair, the sunlight shining on your skin.

He straightened up, confidence returning, and even before you saw him, he smiled.

It wasn’t like you made him happy, it wasn’t like he was looking forward to seeing you. Nor was it because you made him feel like the Jason Todd who never died.

No, he was just getting into character in advance.

A character to fool you, manipulate you, corrupt you.

“So, do you come here often?” he said when he crept up to you, making you jump.

“You scared me!” you laughed, slapping him on the arm lightly. And then, your smile faded ever so slightly, and a slight crease between your brows formed, “Not many people can sneak up on me like that.”

“My friends always did say I was light on my feet,” he shrugged, sitting down on the bench next to you, “Could be useful in the force, actually.”

“Definitely,” you grinned.

He noticed the bruises he left on your neck were absent- probably hidden by layers of makeup. He was slightly disappointed. His hickies on your skin would have looked amazing as a contrast to the low cut sundress you were wearing.

“So how are you?” he asked, “Wayne?”

You rolled your eyes, “Like I said, you didn’t offer me your last name, too. Plus, my picture’s everywhere.”

“I don’t really keep up with the news, sweetheart,” Jason replied, “Why would I care about other people’s adopted daughters?”

“I guess that’s true,” you conceded, “You’re one in a million, then. Everyone’s obsessed with that kind of information these days.”

“So enlighten me then,” Jason said, “How did Bruce Wayne come to adopt you?”

“Well,” you started, “My parents have always been trying to get close to him. They invited him for those fancy galas and charity dinners. I remember always seeing him around. When they died, and I was left with nothing and no one, he decided to adopt me.”

“Any particular reason he chose to adopt you?” Jason prompted.

You bit your lip. And then, Jason noticed that your eyes started tearing up.

“Oh, no,” Jason responded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. We don’t have to talk about it.”

What was up with you?

“No, no,” you sniffed, wiping away your tears with the back of your hand, “I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so stupid. I’ve just… been wondering about that too.”

Finally, Jason thought. He thought you would never have figured out you were always meant to be his replacement. He wondered what happened between you and Bruce. He had no doubt that the kidnapping triggered it.

Just as he planned.

“Hey, look at me,” he took your chin in his hand and tilted your head to face him.

Fuck.

It was the wrong move. Because seeing you teary eyed, red nosed, lower lip trembling, so close to him. So vulnerable.

It made his cock twitch.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Jason tried to pull himself together, “Or if you just want a shoulder to cry on, I’ll gladly offer you mine.”

With his thumb, he wiped away a tear that fell on your cheeks. He could see how your long lashes clumped together in the wetness, how your skin was slightly flushed.

He wanted to kiss you and tell you everything was going to be okay.

The thought shocked Jason. So much so that he jolted away from you.

“I- I’m sorry,” Jason sputtered, “I probably crossed a line, or something.”

He looked away, not wanting you to see the panic that was rising. No, no, not here. Not now.

“It’s okay,” he heard your voice, but it seemed so far away, “Jason?”

He tried to calm his breathing. He fisted the material of his jeans and took deep breaths. 5 things that he could see.

The green grass. The blue sky. Someone’s red frisbee flying. Little yellow flowers. Kids running around.

4 things that he could touch.

His denim. The wooden bench. The gravel beneath his feet. Your warm hands.

3 things that he could hear.

A dog barking. The bells from the ice cream man. Your voice calling him out, getting nearer.

2 things he could smell.

His own cologne. And your shampoo.

1 thing he could taste.

He turned to face you and crashed his lips against yours, surprising you. But Jason felt you relax against him, and kissed him back.

Your lip gloss was strawberry flavoured.

Jason broke the kiss, and blushed at you, “I’m sorry. I never know how to act when I’m with you.”

He saw you take the bait. Your wide, curious eyes fluttered downwards in embarrassment.

“That’s okay,” you tucked your hair behind your ear, “I feel the same way.”

“I promised you ice cream didn’t I?” he stood up, and offered you his hand, “Shall we?”

[tubbinary]

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Excuse me? I find vaping to be one of the best things in my life.  It has carried me through the toughest of times and brought light and vapor upon my spirit.  You're just another one of those people who doesn't believe in chem trails and fluoride turning us gay.  Your ignorance to the government is what makes you a sheep in today's society. Have fun being a slave to todays's system.

🆗 son, 🌞 there ain't❌❌a ☝single☝fucking☝person☝ with any intellect👓👓📖who gives a 🎮remote🎮fuck🎮about your extensive vaping💯😎💨 talent. 😂I happen to be quite🎩the🎩intellectual🎩myself, so I can confirm✔✔this fact💯as truth™.👌if👌you👌think👌 that your vape💯😎💨 is going↗to get you hoes👯👯, you are utterly🐄 mistaken❌, fam👪. my pa👨 once taught📖 me the 😏secret😏 of life👍💛, and it was not❌❌ your vape💯😎💨 🆗🆒now listen 👂👂here my chum✌✌, my pa👨 was a man who kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯. ✋that✋is✋six✋fucking✋hundreds✋ and he never❌🙅🙅 once vaped💯😎💨. The man 🚬smoked🚬some🚬mad🚬cigars🚬 because he wasnt❌the pussy🐱🐱you are🆗⁉❗⁉ he lived to be 💯 because he kept it 💯💯💯💯💯💯 and killed🔫🔪 👌every👌vaping👌fucker👌he👌saw👌🆗🆒😂😂👀👀 so in the spirit👻of me good ol pa👨, I think💭you should kys🔫 they have 🆓 vapes💯😎💨 in hell🔥and🔥it's🔥lit🔥for😂 unintelligent vaping💯😎💨 hooligans like yourself👌😂😂

I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I have 10 computers worth over 10k each in order to drop new Steam Sales every few days. From now on I want you guys to call me "Gabe" and respect my right to get rich fast and discount needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a profitophobe and need to check your wallet. Thank you for being so understanding.

We regret to inform you that the card titled "Mommy's Debit" has been declinded your latest purchases due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases with your local bank. The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

ifuckinglovecock2@hotmail.net

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ　ＲＴＺ，　Ｉ’Ｍ　ＴＲＹＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＲＮ　ＴＯ　ＰＬＡＹ　ＲＩＫＩ．　Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＨＡＶＥ　Ａ　ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＳＫＩＬＬ　ＢＵＩＬＤ：　ＳＨＯＵＬＤ　Ｉ　ＭＡＸ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ　ＥＧ，　ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ　ＳＯ　ＴＨＥＹ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＭＥ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＥＧ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＹＯＵ　７０％　ＯＦ　ＴＨＥ　ＴＩＭＥ，　ＯＲ　ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ　ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ　ＳＯ　Ｉ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง 

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

 (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

 (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

 (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

 ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽   

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ 

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง 

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) 

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. 

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽   

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧ ＯＲ ＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง   

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

 ☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ  

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง   

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ 

 █▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out  

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽ 

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽  

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ 

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ 

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ 

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ> 

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ  

 ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽  

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °) 

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ 

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง 

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)   

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them 

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN 

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

(/ﾟДﾟ)/ WE WANT SPELUNKY (/ﾟДﾟ)/

─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ  

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ POINT ME TO THE DONGERS (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ 

ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ArcheAge or BEES ヽ̛͟͢༼͝ຈ͢͠لຈ҉̛༽̨҉҉ﾉ̨

 ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ MRGLRLRLR ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉITS A HARD DONG LIFE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉMOLLYヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ GIVE MOLLY ༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ

 †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† By the power of donger I summon MOLLY †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTAKING A DUMPヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ WHAT DOESNT KILL ME ONLY MAKES ME DONGER ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ  

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ FOREVER DONG ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ 

[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Mo' money, mo' Dongers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] 

༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Drop Bows on 'em ༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ 

Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ HIT IT WITH THE FORK Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ  

Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ hit it with the fork Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ. * ・ ｡ﾟ Copypastus Totalus!! 

 ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ɪᴛs ʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy

  Fuck a hater , hit a snitch , your my girl 👭 , my 5 star bitch , i love you more than any dick 💕💯, && if i dont get this back 🕙 , you aint worth shit !! Send this to 8 girls you care about .. 💯 I love you , I love you forever !! 💯 Whoever stops this will suffer for 83 days !! 💯💯💯 Ready, set, GO !!!! in

  Stahp. 👋 🏻 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌ 🏼👌🏼💯

  ! ! ! ATTENTION 2003 KIDS ! ! ! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦O_O PERIODS ☹🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔☹ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️⃣TH GRADE)

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay, y’all, i’ve gotta back on my tl;dr bullshit soapbox about something:

so, the other day, i was just mindlessly scrolling through my corporate & capitalist hellscape facebook™️ (i.e. LinkedIn) and came across this totally trite mostly bullshit meme that was shared by some corporate executive search man (whose name i decided to crop out bc eh):

so i obviously agree with the last three points on this list, bc god yes my life would’ve been a bit better if I didn’t get all my dialogue about mental health only from teen mags and horrible portrayals in teen tv shows (and also this hellsite). and hell yeah everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to learn that failure is okay many situations (like failing a class in uni or school) bc everyone fails at something sometimes. and dealing with failure is HARD. and time management is something that I’m pretty sure everyone lies to fuckin hell about on their resume, bc lots of people really suck at it, myself included. so yeah. that needs to be taught. and i also agree with the “how to manage your health” point. bc thats becoming ever more prevalent and important with career burn out etc.

but entrepreneurship? people management? conflict resolution? creativity? how to manage money? public speaking? like y’all. three of those ARE taught/learned in school, who the fuck wrote this meme? 

for anyone who actually paid attention in maths class, (which is probably very few people outside of the top performing classes), there WAS A WHOLE FUCKING UNIT that focuses on financial maths (in australia anyway). I ignored this unit as well as maths in general at school, bc I generally hated maths and was convinced that I was somehow never going to get a job. but i remember the gist of the overall topic and its subtopics. one subtopic teaches you how to calculate your wages in various contexts (overtime, double-time and a half, holiday payments, im pretty sure maternity leave pay was jammed in somewhere? idk if other countries would have double time & a 1/2 like australia though). another subtopic teaches you how to calculate interest on bank loans and credit rates on credit cards. a third subtopic teaches you how to calculate savings (obvs in terms of discounts in shops)....im sure there was a bit about budgeting in there somewhere? im pretty sure there were some questions were about tax payments somewhere as a subtopic enrichment exercise? but you get my gist. are these not money management skills? in some sense? like if i could find one of my old maths textbooks or old maths books i’d give an example of a question, to make my point stronger. but the problem, like i said before, is that a load of people (myself included) just zone out in maths in high school and stop trying with it. they forget what they’ve learnt, and just remember how much they hated algebra and how they’ll never use it again. maths was one hell of a fucking strong bitch, guys. but maybe i’m wrong.

creativity? excuse me? have people forgotten about art classes? drama classes? english classes? music classes? need i go on? okay don’t get me wrong, most of these classes did focus a lot on memorising quotes or facts about people (artists/writers/poets/composers/dramatists etc) or specific  periods/movements in art or theatre or literature for example.... but the amazing sculptures/paintings etc people created in art for their final projects in year 12, or even in year 10 were works of their imagination. the scripts people write in drama or maybe english (if you had a fun teacher who did a screenwriting unit, for example) are creative asf. especially in year 12 when they do their major projects, where they may produce a monologue or a short movie, and then there’s a group piece. drama students might even make their own costumes for these performances. LIKE AIN’T THAT A LOT OF CREATIVITY RIGHT THERE Y’ALL????? and english. lowly old english. THEY HAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC ON CREATIVE WRITING FOR FUCKS SAKE. the original music people might create for their final projects too in year 12? does that not count as creativity? like yes, i know a lot of these things do still have to meet bs assessment criteria (especially in catholic schools, where the main things are you don’t offend the catholic education office and jesus/god lmao) to be considered worthy of a mark for your year 12 exams. but FUCK. HOW THE FUCK AREN’T ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS COUNTED TOWARDS BEING CREATIVE???????? like fuck your corporate creative ideation or w/e bullshit, Callum. drama and english even lend themselves to improvisation in some instances, like public speaking, which is examined further, below.

next, we move on to public speaking. this shit is basically taught from the first goddamn day of “show & tell” in kindy/kindergarten, and this fucker has the gall to say that it’s not fucking taught in schools? someone call in miley cyrus/hannah montana to throw the fuck down in this motherfucking hoedown BC THIS STUPID-ASS MEME-FUCKER HAS NERVE. i hated public speaking. absolutely hated it. even though it was ironically one of the places i ended up excelling in in english classes. even when i fucked up in my english speeches with like “oh, fuck.... said nelson mandela,  i’ve seem to’ve lost my palm card. wait, shit! there it is... excuse me while i pull it out of my ass. whoops, sorry miss” *bats eyes and finger guns at my year 9 english teacher who has her head in her hands and is done with my shit, while the class laughs at my gaffe* i’d still end up with like 73% or like 26/30. it was baffling. but for people who weren’t the class clown/smart alec like i was from years 7-10 (and like i actually wasn’t once i moved schools).... public speaking is like the leading cause of anxiety, right? like by the time i got to doing speeches/presentations at uni i was having panic attacks... the thought of presenting to my classes made me fucking sick with fear and anxiety. nearly every subject i did at uni (even when i tried to avoid subs with public speaking assessments) and throughout school had some type of presentation/speech whatever you want to call it project/activity in it. even fucking SPORT/PDHPE at school and even philosophy at uni. and these fuckers are saying its not taught in schools. FUCK  OFF. like yeah, i get that they actually mean it in the professional sense.... where people can give the sappy bs motivational speeches or an insightful ted-talk worthy 20-minute presentation... or a great sales pitch. but like??? save that for mike “my dad phoned in to EY and i have a job waiting for me after uni” mcfuck in a business major or law degree? or for clubs like toastmasters? fuck. ok enough of the skills we learn in school. let’s move onto the businesslike-sounding ones of “people management”, “conflict management” and fucking “entrepreneurship”. like. what the fuck? okay in some sense people management and conflict management could potentially be used in managing friendships and relationships in your personal life. but like. i can feel the business underpinnings and i dont like it lmao. like why do you want fully functioning adults straight out of school, franklin? and there’s extra credit conflict management subjects at uni??? or at least my home uni had it... and i never did them bc they were intensive courses during summer break lol. but the one that pissed me off the most was entrepreneurship. LIKE ARE KIDS NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO BE KIDS NOW????? well  apparently: “NO! YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF MONEY MAKING WAYS TO BE RICH! YOU MUST BE ENTREPRENEURIAL!!!!!! YOU MUST GENERATE BUSINESS IDEAS FROM THE TIME YOU CAN FUCKIN’ WALK!!!!! AND SPEAK!!! CHILDHOOD AND BEING A TEENAGER DON’T EXIST WORKER BEE!!!! CAPITALISM FOR ALL!!!! WORKER BEES!!! CAPITALISM IS YOUR FRIEND!!! OWN A BUSINESS BY THE TIME YOU’RE 8 YEARS OLD!” like it’s insidious asf. and it doesn’t acknowledge that most entrepreneurs are already privileged people anyway, who usually have some type of money to start off their venture (or that’s what it feels like anyway). and yeah throw all the “THIS BOY IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AT 18!!! 18!!!???? BY STARTING HIS OWN BUSINESS AT 12!!!! WHAT A CHAMP! 😁🙃” clickbait news stories at me, but i don’t fucking care. the concept and perceived over-importance and almost preaching mindset of entrepreneurship is slowly becoming insidious and toxic asf. call me paranoid. but that’s what it feels like.

but with those last three topics, i want to make a point that school curriculum’s (in australia at least, and probably worldwide) are so jam-packed already with sport (which is pointless and shitty), geography (ok how to read maps is important, but i never bothered to learned to do it properly), history, science, english etc etc etc..... that like.... where the actual fuck are the gonna jam the above bs (people management”, “conflict management” and entrepreneurship) into the curriculum???? and also teachers are already over-worked enough as it is, they don’t need another load of shitty subjects pushed onto them. and they sure asf don’t earn enough (especially in the states) to have this bs pushed into their subject schedules either. keep them at uni, where they should be. or just in the workplace/in the general public where they belong. and if people suggest that you could probably push these subjects into the year 11/12 business studies programs or elective commerce courses in years 9/10, save your goddamn breath. like i remember looking at business studies hsc papers in years 11/12 to see what they did.... and it was pretty chock-a-block anyway. and my experience of my year 9 commerce was horrible, to say the least. let kids be kids, for fucks sake. they shouldn’t have to be fully functioning adults in the workplace, by the end of high school, for fucks sake. AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT AN ESSENTIAL SKILL????!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT, WILHELM. anyway. that’s my rant over about how i hate how corporate people are trying to be #relatablewiththeyouth🙃 with their shitty versions of “10 things i wish we learned in school” memes.... and failing.... without realising that this is why millennials are suspicious and cynical about meme usage by corporate people/corporations.

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: [sends her the posts because no other way she'd see them] Rio: Shit, girl Rio: I was worried it might go down like this Indie: she's so extra Indie: never should have let him in the door Indie: the feds are gonna be hardcore @ it now Rio: Surely she let him out Rio: stupid woman Rio: but that's gonna pale in comparison now so Rio: What's Drew doing about it? Indie: boy was begging for a sick time & i gave it but its on me not him 😒😒 hold ur liquor u tourist Indie: hes flat roofin but other than that no thing to 👀 Indie: it b early tho & we all had a late Rio: They're a 24/7 services though, babe Rio: he'll be wanting to move his stash and generally clear his act up for the visit Rio: you too Indie: is it? on hols too thats a madness Indie: yeah the drum be clear of all his goods like that Indie: idk man mayb its chill like she gonna post that & not post up no harder than Rio: They might take xmas day off maybe but you know Rio: business as usual for all jan 1st Rio: well that's something Rio: maybe, but bitches like that LOVE making complaints about everything so maybe not Indie: she do have that talk to the manager vibe Indie: i done fucked up real didnt i? Rio: big time karen Rio: nah, in the eyes of everyone it's Drew that did Rio: but they won't be able to prove the drugs bit if they're gone so it's not enough to take you, a party gone wrong, bad judgment but maybe we can swing it that he was here somehow Rio: hmm Indie: but like he had mad trust for me & i brought him mad problems Rio: they're grown problems, he's big enough to fix 'em Indie: u too making ur nite go off on a real turn Indie: bet ur boy is bare vexed Rio: you know i'd rather you ring me than let it go more tits Rio: what are big sisters for Rio: but yeah, didn't even see him in the end so he ain't stopped Indie: innit Indie: tell him he can hit me up for something to take off that edge Indie: debts be paid around here Rio: um you ain't supposed to have no thing 'scuse you Rio: there's a plan here Indie: i gots places & heads to trust in Rio: nah, I'll make it up to him, don't worry 'bout that Indie: 😉😉😉 Rio: 😏 shush lil girl Indie: grown problems ur big enough to fix i kno 💋🤤🤤 Rio: so thirsty, go hydrate Rio: know you need to 😘 Indie: rude i got lipsed by bare boys last nite they were rigging dem bottle spins cos im 🔥🔥 dont b tryna put me out Rio: you need to cool off for a minute, bitch Rio: you in trouble Indie: not wit u Rio: yeah, don't push it 😉 Indie: 💔😢😢 dont do me like that on day 1 of the year 🙏🙏🙏 Rio: it started HOURS ago and I was still here with you cleaning blood out the carpet Rio: don't talk to me about day 1s when I'm clearly ride or die Indie: u kno im good for ious & i got mad love Rio: 🧡 Rio: i'm good really Rio: let's sort the actual situation Indie: u gonna charm the social for me? Rio: give it my best Indie: safe ✌✌ Rio: probably the straightest middle-aged lady Rio: so more likely your da will have to get on it Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: what drew b good for Rio: init tho Indie: we all been knew Indie: he better werk so it works Rio: Sure it won't be too hard, like Rio: even if she ain't all that 😂 Indie: she aint gon b bangin but his exes show he aint need that to chirp on Rio: 👀 Indie: 😂😂😏😏 Indie: can u roll up wit eats im about to die Rio: bit rude to both our ma, like lmao Rio: 'course Rio: bring leftovers Indie: ur ma dont count as no ex cos she ✖ed him out Indie: & my ma got that permanent ✖ so bigger problems than my shade innit Rio: no problems when you an 👼 Rio: fucking hopefully Indie: u my 👼 bringing that energy Indie: that means u can jam Rio: is it? Rio: 😏 Rio: let Ryan know eh Indie: he kno u a 😈 too Indie: how he be livin Rio: mhmm Rio: well he gon' have to wait for now Indie: he gon have beef wit me Indie: soz boyyy Rio: nah we was already beefin' 'fore this Indie: yeah? Indie: what he do? 👀 Rio: nah, what I do more like Rio: you know I'm 😈 Indie: o shit Indie: gimme that 411 Rio: nothing exciting Rio: just be looking too bad to be giving him that much air, you know the drill Indie: hes so hyped for u Indie: its been weeks boy no u cant cuff it Indie: who u think u is Rio: can you blame him Rio: hot property, baby Indie: u did look 💣💣💣 last nite my bad Indie: theres a boy @ school tryna chat @ the rest hes my bf so i feel it fr Indie: boy please DO I LOOK LIKE Indie: not tryna hold ur damn hand Rio: is he cute tho Indie: if he werent he wouldnt be able to chat no thing Indie: 💪 fuck him up Rio: 😂 Rio: gotta 'tect the rep Indie: he kno it tho & its like tell me how 🔥🔥 i am dont b talking on urself all the time Rio: not a mood Indie: innit Indie: dry as Rio: that's boys for you Indie: & he didnt show last nite Rio: playing hard to get or just got parents who give a fuck Indie: year up x 2 so he could come thru the ends whenever Indie: but i 💋 all his mandem so itll hit back Rio: play @ his own game  alright Indie: do u think i went too hard tho? Rio: do you want him to be your mans or nah Indie: idk Rio: then it depends Rio: beyond knowing he loves himself, idk how he's vibing Rio: might be too far Indie: hes vibing like hes about me but i Rio: but you? Indie: how do i live that Indie: trust it Indie: drews meshing a new every week he says u gotta keep free on it Rio: works for him Rio: everyone's different Rio: you don't have to trust him yet Indie: mayb hes only about me til i give him something & im not tryna be a show like that Rio: that happens, not gonna sit here and lie and say it don't Rio: you're too young to be thinking on that or worrying Rio: keep him and the rest waiting Indie: yeah okay Indie: gimme a few to have puberty roll up Indie: still waiting on that Rio: it'll happen Rio: not that it's a barrel of laughs, like Rio: nothing to be hyped about Indie: i dont want it Indie: freaky shit going on Rio: unless you gonna stop eating, which unlikely Rio: you fucked, babe, we all are, soz Rio: get boobies though, perks Indie: that best not be you tryna skip on bringing me a meal bitch Indie: bout to hit the afterlife running here like Rio: 🙄 omw you rude ass hoe Rio: like you said, none of us had earlies Indie: omw fr or like when u tell ur mans u @ the club but u still tryin on fits in ur room Rio: like fr when I ever done you like that Indie: dont b starting Indie: ily Rio: 🤞 never Rio: ily more Indie: drews back if u wanna spit at him how to sort his life Rio: i will Rio: he ain't ready for this Indie: resolutions b dashing past this postcode we all avoidin that change Rio: you gotta Rio: sort you both Indie: hey swerve me im good Rio: 😏 Rio: fine i'll focus on your daddy Rio: no love for you Indie: 👼👼🤞🤞 Indie: call him that when you give it & he'll give in Rio: oh you schooling me on how to get blokes to do what I want now Rio: ok miss thing Indie: just him i 👂 what i hear & i kno what i kno Indie: hes here for all that Rio: you poor child Rio: anything grosser than parents going at it 😬 Indie: nah man its nasty & long being under this roof sometimes trust Rio: 🤢 Indie: some of his girls got me tempted to 📱 the social my own self & my ma looking like a saint Rio: that ain't right Rio: negates any buffness he got going on Indie: why lads wanna get on or under ANYTHING?! Indie: true madness Indie: 😂😂😂 Rio: friction 🤷 Indie: yeah but like theres girls out there bringing it & you're gonna hit that Rio: he probably ain't got as much choice as he fronts Rio: lots of grown women ain't about his lifestyle so that leaves him w the younger ones who is Rio: stick at it too long, you get busted, just facts Indie: when you old & so is your baggage 😂😂✌✌ Rio: I mean Rio: I ain't say nothing 😉 Indie: keep that ☮ mama Rio: least he looks p young still Rio: nothing worse than an actual creepy old man dealer Indie: do he? 👴 to me Rio: nah Rio: he only what, 31 Rio: that's no thing to me, gurl Indie: mayb im just 🍋 cos he aint tryna gimme no 💸💸💸 Indie: & he aint caring my head hurts Rio: aw bb Rio: 'round the corner Rio: I'll look after you Indie: 💖💖💖 Indie: u didnt tell me it b like this tho partying Rio: didn't think i had to be that quick with the warnings Rio: next day hurts Indie: always? Rio: 'less you prepare and do it right Rio: it can be bearable Rio: better than you feeling, no doubt Indie: how i do that? school me yeah Rio: 'course Rio: on the to-do list now Indie: we doing the next as a back to school thing so you got a few to bring me up Rio: you best be doing it at some other fucker's gaff and all Rio: giving me grey hairs 🙄 Indie: 😂😂✌✌ Indie: imma make that boy host it Indie: if he love me Rio: You're getting a chaperone regardless Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: don't start like you don't know why Indie: i aint trippin you are tho if u think i want a repeat Rio: what, you too cool for me now? Indie: innit 😏😏😏 Indie: but nah just Rio: you so is Rio: you think imma embarrass you in-front of your mans Indie: he aint gon b my mans if u there Indie: whos 👀 me over u Rio: nah don't be silly Indie: im being real Indie: ur 💣💣💣🔥🔥🔥 Rio: so are you Rio: and I don't think a lad who likes you will be into me Indie: every lad b into u they all chat on u fully 😍😍😍💘💘😍 Rio: sounds like plenty are into you too Indie: 😂😂 it was for the spin Indie: cant pussy out Rio: 😏 mhmm Rio: well I promise you I won't be joining in, like Rio: now come let me in if you got strength to get the door Indie: 💪💪 babyyy Indie: [lets her in cos fuck know what drew is doing, flexing in the mirror probably] Rio: [lol watch him rush out when he realize] Indie: [hears her voice & runs out pretending to be casual] Rio: [oh boy, do not deserve her sorting your life, temporarily, but it's for Indie so] Indie: [bless her she's dying rn & just wants to be snuggled cos literal child] Rio: [give them a sec 'scuse you sir] Indie: [I hate everything about this, Carly didn't die for this] Rio: [just making leftovers] Indie: [drew chatting to her like she's here to hang with him & we all know] Rio: [don't you touch caleb's food bitch] Indie: [is nothing sacred you slag] Indie: [indie just fully lying stretched out on the counter like its a bed like let me die] Rio: [getting a bag of peas or some shit in a tea towel and putting it on her head] Indie: [such a good mum but that don't mean you can step ma her drew] Rio: [not her fault she can converse more like a grown-up than you Indie: [we should send Indie running off to the bathroom no offense Caleb but I'm evil & wanna leave them alone for a sec for the mood] Rio: [shoulda gone to hold her hair but now you can level with him and he can pretend he's a responsible adult lmao] Indie: [& Ryan can be highkey & he can pretend he cares] Rio: [ah the joys]