#thats her officer. thats the bastard who smacked the lunch tray out of my hands and kicked me behind the knee

[galar-abortion-clinic]

My favorite “mom friend”-adjacent archetype for morally grey female characters who are still sort of an ally but not at all maternal is Big Sister Energy

No she doesnt cook or clean or frankly give very much of a fuck but she sneaks you sips from her Grown Up Beverage when the responsible adults arent looking. She was left in charge of a group of children for five minutes and taught them all how to swear. Your earliest memory together is her getting in your face and whispering “wanna see something cool” and then presenting a giant insect she caught from outside specifically to release into your bedroom

will never understand the misogynistic inclination to pigeonhole every female character into the "exasperated sensible mom friend" role as if there's anything better than a woman so devoid of maternal instincts that she makes wire mother look soft. woman who rolls over and walks out onto the balcony to smoke a post-coital cigarette alone and leaves without a note or any kind of acknowledgement after sleeping with you because she can't stand the vulnerability of sleeping next to someone, or waking up beside them the following morning. woman whose idea of relaxing is abusing substances alone in a dark corner somewhere, and snarling and snapping at anyone who approaches her, regardless of intent. woman so emotionally unavailable she fails or refuses to notice that her lame ass partner is trying to push the divorce papers until they've taken the kids and left a heartfelt but scathing note pinned to the fridge. woman with more vices than genuine friends. woman whose expression stays blank and arms remain limply at her sides when you wrap her up in yours for a hug. woman without a gentle touch in her body, with nothing but rough edges and sharp angles.

[writingkeepsmewhole]

Trust

This is the 12 part of A Touch my Negan x Reader fic.  Reader and Negan drive back to Alexandria them telling more about themselves. Opening up to each other over dinner. This is a very fluffy chapter.

Negan X Reader

Warnings: Language. I think thats it. 

Part 1  Part 11

Tag List. Let me know if you want to be added :)

@dead-head-joker @cryiner @collette04 @catlovescats @blumenkind72 @frozenhuntress67 @chloebabyboo

I sat in the truck looking out the window. The summer air was hot and muggy but the breeze from the windows helped fight that off. One thing about the dead rising up to eat people you didn't have to stop at red lights or even stop signs.

Feeling a hand on my knee I look down then over to Negan.

"Come here." He says pulling at my leg gently.

Showing the confusion on my face I move closer to him. He lays his arm on the back of the seat behind me.

"Much better." He says grinning.

"Did you need something?" I ask confused.

"I needed a gorgeous woman by my side."

"Don't you have wives for that?" I ask ignoring the flutter in my stomach from him calling me that.

"Well do you see any of them around?"

"Oh I'm just next best thing?"

"Fuck no. Your my first fucking choice, why the hell would I bring you around with me if I didn't like looking atcha." He says winking at me.

Rolling my eyes I laugh softly looking out the dash.

"Come on angel you know you enjoy my company just as much as I enjoy yours. Hell maybe even more."

"Your an asshole." I say glancing at him earning a loud chuckle.

"Fair enough but I'm a good looking one."

I smile and shake my head my cheeks warm and it not from the heat.

"See you want to screw my brains out just as much as I do."

"Negan!"

"What I'm just stating the obvious. I think we would have fun together. I know I would." he says running his hand up my leg.

"I'm not having sex with you in this truck."

"I can wait till we get back to my room." He says winking at me.

Blushing I shake my head and laugh.

"Just stick to your wives."

"Your messing out."

Smiling a comfortable silence falls over us. Negan's hand once again on my knee him stroking it with his thumb.

"Can I ask you something?" he says glancing at me.

"Sure."

"What made you wanna fuck your teacher? I mean go through with it?"

Surprised by the question I think for a second before I answer.

"I think at first it was the rebellion against my parents. Then it was more. I mean I didn't just walk up to him and be like let's have sex. It was at first someone to talk to who was older than me who didn't seem like he would judge me. It just grew to more." I say shrugging.

"Come on doll give me the freaky stuff." he says making me laugh.

"I went to a coffee shop down the street and got caught out in the rain. He gave me a ride and I kissed him. He kissed back. Things grew from there."

"Damn lucky bastard. If one of my  student did that I don't know what I would've done." He says scratch his cheek.

"You were a teacher?" I ask shocked partly from him being one and the other part from him telling me. It making me realize I don't know Negan that well despite spending so long with him.

"I was a coach. It was my job to make sure little assholes didn't turn into big ones."

"How old was your students?"

"College age."

"You had girls come up to you for sex?"

"Don't sound so surprised darling and no though there was a few who probably would have if I encourage them."

"That's so weird I pegged you as a- man I don't even know what I would guess you did before." I say laying my head back it laying on his arm.

"I had a guess about you."

"It's probably something dirty isn't it?" I ask rolling my head to face him.

Laughing he shrugs his shoulders.

"I went off the fact you seem comfortable with doing laundry I guessed you were a maid or something."

"That's not as bad as I thought." I say sitting up as we cross the bridge.

"Well I'm sure i could think of something else." He says winking at me making me smile.

"I guess you're not as bad as I thought you were."

"What are you saying darling? That you want to join the winning side? Be a wife and live happily ever after with me?"

"No, not that extreme. I just meant you're not the scary big bad wolf everyone thinks you are. Don't get me wrong your crazy but we all are. You have to be to have made it this far. I guess what I'm saying is I don't see you as the enemy anymore."

"Damn angel I don't know if I should cry or get hard." he says grinning.

"Negan! Gosh your rotten!" I yell smacking his chest and moving back to my side of the truck. Him laughing the whole time which I join in on.

Leaning on the door facing him I put my feet in the seat.

"Alright since we are digging up old stuff what's one thing you miss about before? Something that was stupid but you would love to have now?"

"Honestly?" he asks looking at me.

"Well duh."

"Coffee. I'd kill for a cup now." he says making me wonder if he really would.

"Oh my gosh coffee!"

Chuckling Negan looks over at me.

"Alright your turn. What's something you miss?"

"Going to a gas station or a fast food place and getting food just because you could. Not gonna lie I always got kit kats. Or going to a movie with friends. Laying in bed on my days off with a good book and non stop music..." I say laying my head back on the window.

"Man I miss music..."

"Damn girl you are easy to please." he says lighting the mood.

"You kinda have to be with dead people wanting to eat your face off." I say shrugging

"It is the little things." he says nodding smile in place. Him always seeming happy seeing the joy in life.

I found myself wanting to be around him because of that. He was right it was the little things that get you thru this world.

"Hey Negan." I say making him look at me.

"Can you promise me what happens today you won't hold it against me?"

Slowing down his hazel eyes meet mine him looking serious.

"Of course darling."

Pushing myself off the door I get on my knees and press my lips to his.

I wrote it off as thanking him for listening to me but I didn't stop him as he pulled me closer. Holding his face his long fingers tangled into my hair. I kissed him for what seemed like forever and only a second at the same time. I pulled away when my lungs screamed for air.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. I knew he wanted to say something but he moved his hands off me an grabbed the steering wheel.

I moved back to leaning on the door my lips swollen from kissing him but I ignored it.

"You hungry?" he asks after a few minutes.

"A little." I say realizing I haven't ate anything all day.

"Well you should join me for lunch." he says making a turn it leading to the gate of the sanctuary.

Once inside the fence Negan told Simon to get someone to bring him lunch for two in his bedroom.

I was confused but didn't say anything as Negan lead me to his room. Once inside I watched him throw his jacket on the bed and place Lucille on the couch beside him.

"Well ain't you gonna sit down?"

"I'm confused." I say moving to sit across from him.

"Don't be. You asked me something all I ask is for you to give me the same thing."

"Okay." I say it sounding more like a question but he didn't act like he noticed.

"Peachy." he says winking.

I sat there looking out the window. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't bother saying anything about it.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks me.

I nod looking at him.

"How did you get with Rick clearly you been with him a while."

"Almost since the beginning. I was with a group of trainers from the hospital when the everything went nuts. Everything was thrown into confusion, I hid in a closet. When I came out it was like stepping into a different world. I got what I could and started staying in one of the doctor's office. A group of men came in one day looking for supplies they were the first people I seen in months. They talked me into going with them. It wasn't hard I was so scared being alone. They were staying in a retirement home taking care of the people there. I thought I could help. Turns out they stole some guns from Rick he came looking for them. I don't know what made me leave and go with Rick. Maybe it was because he was a sheriff or maybe because I wanted out of the city. Either way I left and been with him ever since."

"Damn didn't expect that."

"What do you mean?"

"I expected you to tell me you were his neighbor or something."

I shake my head and shrug.

"No just people from different lives being thrown together."

"When we were in Alexandria I talked to what's her name Olive something, she told me you didn't talk to people much."

"Getting close to people hasn't gone well for me. We - I've been so many places I thought was safe for it to be taken away. I've lost everyone I opened up to...." I say looking down at my hands.

"Maggie?" He asks surprising me from knowing her name.

"Yeah she was my first real friend. It's funny how it took the end of the world to bring people together. Her dad was named Hershel he didn't always do things right but he made you feel at home no matter where you were. There was this one time our group was sick and we all kinda felt like it was never going to get better. He made me realize that home is where you make it. It's the little things."

"What did he do?"

"Gave us hope. He told us that we would have spaghetti Tuesdays every Wednesday. He died a few days after that..."

"You met a lot of good people then?"

"So many." I say smiling at the good memories.

Smiling he shakes his head looking at the floor then back at me.

"Ah shit." he says grinning and slicking back his hair.

"What?" I ask feeling like I'm missing the punch line of a joke.

"Nothing you just reminded me of someone I used to know before."

"Who were they?"

Hearing a knock Negan winked at me.

"Saved by the bell. Come in!"

The door opened a mousy older woman standing there a tray of food in her hands.

"Oh there you are I was beginning to think you forgot about me. You wouldn't do that would you sweetie?" Negan asks smiling making the woman blush.

"No sir just wanted everything to be perfect." She says her voice matching her features.

"Well I'm sure it's fucking delicious." he says as she sets the tray down.

She blushes again and smiles at him. Nodding her head to me she quickly leaves the room.

"Do you flirt with everyone?" I ask smiling.

"Hey don't get jealous now I know you want me." He says grinning.

"Me and Pam have a good time. Her husband died right before the end making us have something in common. I like making her smile." he says brushing over the in common part making me think.

'Did Negan have a wife before?'

I don't have time to ask before Negan is handing me something.

I take it from him it a bottle of water. I drink it thirsty from not having anything all day. Its funny how you get used to not eating or drinking all the time. You don't even notice it.

"Lets see what the cook has for us today." Negan says wiggling his eyebrows and pulling a plate out from under the tray lid.

My mouth waters at what he sets in front of me.

Its a cut of meat on top of mashed potatoes covered in gravy.

"Don't that look amazing." he says setting the lid down to reveal a bowl of something that looked like fried sugary bread.

"There is no way I'm eating all that." I say looking at it.

"Good that means you'll get full." He says handing me a fork.

I take it, us eating in silence for a moment.

My mind drifting back to the question I had before. Deciding that's not a good dinner topic I change my mind. Settling for what Negan said before we talked.

"You never answered my question." I say looking at him.

"What's that?"

"You said I reminded you of someone. Who was it?"

He shakes his head swallowing his food to answer me.

"It doesn't matter she's not around anymore. She died before..." he says quietly his eyes not meeting my face.

"Was her name Lucille?" I ask before I can stop myself. When his eyes snap to mine I bite my lip.

"I'm sorry you said it in your sleep I didn't think it was my place to ask."

"You got that fucking right it's none of your damn business!" he says standing up making me jump.

"You don't have a reason to ask me anything about my pass you understand?" he says glaring at me.

I knew I should have felt scared but I was oddly calm sitting there as he yelled.

"Are you done?" I asked earning a deathly glare.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you done? I'm sorry if I said or asked something that upset you but screaming doesn't seem like the best thing to do."

"Oh why is that?"

"Because I didn't do anything. If you don't want to open up that's fine." I say pushing off the couch.

"I’m wasn't trying to pry but I trust you to keep my secrets I thought I could help you keep yours." I say shrugging my stomach twisted in a knot.

When I touch the doorknob a hand grabs my arm.

"Where do you think your going?"

"Don't you want me to leave? " I ask looking at him.

"I'm not asking you to open up Negan. I'm just making the point that you can't stay bottled up forever."

Sighing he lets go of my arm and moves away from me.

“Stay.” He says sadly as he moves to sit back down.

I follow him sitting across from him once again. Clenching his jaw he stares out the window.

“You don’t have to tell me anything Negan. I didn’t tell you about my past to trick you into talking about something you want to forget. I-.”

“No.” He says cutting me off his hazel eyes landing on me.

“I don’t want to forget her… I just don’t talk about her… She was my wife and I didn’t do right by her. She wouldn’t like the person I am now.”

“No one likes the people we are now. I’m not the happy bubbly person I used to be. This world takes a toll on us all. Trust me Negan your not the worse I've seen.”

“I bet I’m pretty fucking close though.” He says smiling a sad twisted smile.

“No.” I say moving to sit next to him.

“Your just a little messed up.”

Chuckling her shakes his head and looks at me.

“Who’s the more fucked up one?” He asks softly.

“That’s the true question.” I say smiling a silence falling over us.

I meet his eyes my stomach flipping. Watching his eyes drop to mouth I blush and bite my lip. He looks up at me and clears my throat.

“We should finish eating.”

“Right.” I say nodding wondering why I’m so affected by the man with the baseball bat.