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#thats fine you can add them to DnD campaigns
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Megamind here, to tell you all that sometimes I get really good ideas for possible inventions, but then realize that I have a piece of bread for a brain when it comes to building stuff :( - 👽🔫
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supercantaloupe · 4 years
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okay yeah actually, i’ll bite. i’ve got some of my own thoughts about the unsleeping city and cultural representation and i’m gonna make a post about them now, i guess. i’ll put it under a cut though because this post is gonna be long.
i wanna start by saying i love dimension 20 and i really really enjoy the unsleeping city. i look forward to watching new episodes every week, and getting hooked on d20 as a whole last summer really helped pull me out of a pandemic depression, and i’m grateful to have this cool show to be excited about and interested in and to have met so many cool people to talk about it with.
that being said, however, i think there is a risk run in representing any group of people/their culture when you have the kind of setting that tuc has. by which i mean, tuc is set in a real world with real people and real human cultures in it. unlike fantasy high or a crown of candy where everything is made up (even if rooted in real-world cultures), tuc is explicitly rooted in reality, and all of its diversity -- both the ups and downs that go with it. and especially set in new york of all places, one of the most densely, diversely populated cities on earth. the cast is 7 people; it’s great that those 7 people come from a variety of backgrounds and identities and all bring their own unique perspectives to the table, and it’s great that those people and the entire crew are generally conscious of themselves and desire to tell stories/represent perspectives ethically. but you simply cannot authentically represent every culture or every perspective in the world (or even just in a city) when your cast is 7 people. it’s an impossible task. this is inherent to the setting, and acknowledged by the cast, and by brennan especially, who has been on record saying how one of the exciting aspects of doing a campaign set in nyc is its diversity, the fact that no two new yorkers have the same perspective of new york. i think that’s a good thing -- but it does have its challenges too, clearly.
i’m not going to go into detail on the question of whether or not tuc’s presentation of asian and asian american culture is appropriative/offensive or not. first of all, i don’t feel like it’s 100% fair to judge the show completely yet, since it’s a prerecorded season and currently airing midseason, so i don’t yet know how things wrap up. secondly, i’m not asian or asian american. i can have my own opinions on that content in the show, but i think it’s worth more to hear actual asian and asian american voices on this specific aspect of the show. having an asian american cast member doesn’t automatically absolve the show of any criticisms with regard to asian american cultural representation/appropriation, whether those criticisms are made by dozens of viewers or only a handful of them. regardless, i don’t think it’s my place as someone who is not asian to speak with any authority on that issue, and i know for a fact that there are asian american viewers sharing their own opinions. their thoughts in this instance hold more water than mine, i think.
what i will comment on in more depth, though, is a personal frustration with tuc. i’m jewish; i’ve never really been shy about that fact on my page here. i’m not from new york, but i visit a few times a year (or i did before covid anyway, lol), and i have some family from nyc. nyc, to me, is a jewish city. and for good reason, since it’s home to one of the largest jewish populations of the country, and even the world, and aspects of jewish culture (including culinary, like bagels and pastrami, and linguistic, like the common use of yiddish words and phrases in english colloquial speech) are prevalent and celebrated among jews and goyim alike. when i think of nyc, i think of a jewish city; that’s not everybody’s new york, but that’s my new york, and thats plenty of other people’s new york too. so i do find myself slightly disappointed or frustrated in tuc for its, in my opinion, rather stark lack of jewish representation.
now, i’m not saying that one of the PCs should have been jewish, full stop. i love to headcanon iga as jewish even though canon does not support that interpretation, and i’m fine with that. she’s not my character. it’s possible that simply no one thought of playing a jewish character, i dunno. but also, and i can’t be sure about this, i’m willing to bet that none of the players really wanted to play a jewish character because they didn’t want to play a character of a marginalized culture they dont belong to in the interest of avoiding stereotyping or offensive representation/cultural appropriation. (i don’t know if any of the cast members are jewish, but i’m assuming not.) and the concern there is certainly appreciated; there’s not a ton of mainstream jewish rep out there, and often what we get is either “unlikeable overly conservative hassidic jew” or “jokes about their bar mitzvah/one-off joke about hanukkah and then their jewishness is never mentioned ever again,” which sucks. it would be really cool to see some more good casual jewish rep in a well-rounded, three-dimensional character in the main cast of a show! even if there are a couple of stumbles along the way -- nobody is perfect and no two jews have the same level of knowledge, dedication, and adherence to their culture.
but at the same time, i look at characters like iga and i really do long for a jewish character to be there. siobhan isn’t polish, yet she’s playing a characters whose identity as a polish immigrant to new york is very central to her story and arc. and part of me wonders why we can’t have the same for a jewish character. if not a PC, then why not an NPC? again, i’m jewish, and i am not native, but in my opinion i think the inclusion of jj is wonderful -- i think there are even fewer native main characters in mainstream media than there are jewish ones, and it’s great to see a native character who is both in touch with their culture as well as not being defined solely by their native-ness. to what extent does it count as ‘appropriative’ because brennan is a white dude? i dunno, but i’m like 99% sure they talked to sensitivity consultants to make sure the representation was as ethical as they could get it, and anyway, i can’t personally see and glaring missteps so far. but again, i’m not native, and if there are native viewers with their own opinions on jj, i’d be really interested in hearing them.
but getting back to the relative lack of jewish representation. it just...disappoints me that jewishness in new york is hardly ever even really mentioned? again, i know we’re only just over halfway through season 2, but also, we had a whole first season too. and it’s definitely not all bad. for example: willy! gd, i love willy so much. him being a golem of williamsburg makes me really really happy -- a jewish mythological creature animated from clay/mud (in this case bricks) to protect a jewish community (like that of williamsburg, a center for many of nyc’s jews) from threat. golem have so often been taken out of their original context and turned into evil monsters in fantasy settings, especially including dnd. (even within other seasons of d20! crush in fh being referred to as a “pavement golem” always rubbed me the wrong way, and i had hoped they’d learned better after tuc but in acoc they refer to another monster as a “corn golem” which just disappointed me all over again.) so the fact that tuc gets golems right makes my jewish heart very happy.
and yet...he doesn’t show up that much? sure, in s1, he’s very helpful when he does, but in s2 so far he shows up once and really does not say or do much of anything. he speaks with a lot more yiddish-influenced language than other characters, but if you didn’t know those words were specifically yiddish/jewish, you might not be able to otherwise clock the fact that willy is jewish. and while willy is a jewish mythological creature who is jewish in canon, he isn’t human. there are no other direct references to judaism, jewish characters, or jewish culture in the unsleeping city beyond him.
there are, in fact, two other canon jewish characters in tuc. but...here’s where i feel the most frustration, i think. the two canon jewish humans in tuc are stephen sondheim and robert moses. both of whom are real actual people, so it’s not like we can just pick and choose what their cultural backgrounds are. as much as i love stephen sondheim, i think there are inherent issues with including real world people as characters in a fictional setting, especially if they are from living/recent memory (sondheim is literally still alive), but anyway, sondheim and moses are both actual jewish people. from watching tuc alone you probably would not be able to guess that sondheim is jewish -- nothing from his character except name suggests it, and i wouldn’t even fault you for not thinking ‘sondheim’ is a jewish-sounding surname (and i dislike the idea/attitude/belief that you can tell who is or isn’t jewish by the sound of their name). and yeah, i’m not going to sit here and be like “brennan should have made sondheim more visibly jewish in canon!” because, like, he’s a real human being and it’s fucking weird to portray him in a way that isn’t as close to how he publicly presents himself, which is not in fact very identifiably jewish? i don’t know, this is what i mean by it’s inherently weird and arguably problematic to portray real living people as characters in a fictional setting, but i digress. sondheim’s jewish, even if you wouldn’t know it; not exactly a representation win.
and then there’s bob moses. you might be able to guess that he’s jewish from canon, actually. there’s the name, of course. but more insidious to me are the specifics of his villainy. greedy and powerhungry, a moneyman, a lich whose power is stored in a phylactery...it does kind of all add up to a Yikes from me. (in the stock market fight there’s a one-off line asking if he has green skin; it’s never really directly acknowledged or answered, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear at first and it’s stuck with me since viewing for the first time.) the issue for me here is that the most obviously jewish human character is the season’s bbeg, and his villainy is rooted in very antisemitic tropes and stereotypes.
i know this isn’t all brennan’s fault -- robert moses was a real ass person and he was in fact jewish, a powerhungry and greedy moneyman, a big giant racist asshole, etc. i’m not saying that jewish characters can’t be evil, and i’m not saying brennan should have tried to be like “this is my NPC robert christian he’s just like bob moses but instead he’s a goy so it’s okay” because...that would be fuckin weird bro. and bob moses was a real person who was jewish and really did do some heinous shit with his municipal power. i’m not necessarily saying brennan should have picked/created a different character to be the villain. i’m not even saying that he shouldn’t have made bob moses a lich (although, again, it doesn’t 100% sit right with me). but my point here is that bob moses is one of a grand total of three canon jewish characters in tuc, of which only two humans, of whom he is the one you’d most easily guess would be jewish and is the most influenced by antisemitic stereotypes/tropes. had there been more jewish representation in the show at all, even just some neutral jewish NPCs, this would not be as much of a problem as it is to me. but halfway through season 2, so far, this is literally all we get. and that bums me out.
listen, i really like tuc. i love d20. but the fact that it is set in a real world place with real world people does inherently raise challenges when it comes to ethical cultural representation. especially when the medium of the show is a game whose creatures, lore, and mechanics have been historically rooted in some questionable racial/cultural views. and dnd is making progress to correct some of those misguided views of older sourcebooks by updating them to more equitably reflect real world racial/cultural sensitivities; that’s a good thing! but these seasons, of course, were recorded before that. the game itself has some questionable cultural stuff baked into it, and that is (almost necessarily) going to be brought to the table in a campaign set in a real-world place filled with real-world people of diverse real-world cultures. the cast can have sensitivity consultants and empathy and the best intentions in the world, and they’ll still fuck up from time to time, that’s okay. your mileage may vary on whether or not it’s still worth sticking around with the show (or the fandom) through that. for me, it does not yet outweigh all the things i like about the show, and i’m gonna continue watching it. but it’s still very worth acknowledging that the cast is 7 people who cannot possibly hope to authentically or gracefully represent every culture in nyc. it’s an unfortunate limitation of the medium. yet it’s also still worthwhile to acknowledge and discuss the cultural representation as it is in the show -- both the goods and the bads, the ethically solid and the questionably appropriative -- and even to hold the creators accountable. (decently, though. i’m definitely not advocating anybody cyberbully brennan on twitter or whatever.) the show and its representation is far from perfect, but i also don’t think it ever could be. still, though, it could always be better, and there’s a worthwhile discussion to be had in the wheres, hows, and whys of that.
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ask-vaal-hazak · 4 years
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I just left a homebrew dnd campaign I've a message for new DM's
If your running a campaign for 2 ppl and there level 3 do not throw cr 6 and 9 monsters at them. For the love of the divine do not.
Extremely fustrating and deadly. And dont use the monsters from a homebrew forum bc it just sounds cool. Bc that "cool" cr 6 hag going against a lv3 party with multiple attack. Multiple spell cast and spell immunity and able to polymorph into any creature it wants at will is devastating.
Just to rant here. I lost 3 characters in 1 hour. My lv 3 barbarian (minotaur zelot). My battlemaster (centaur) and my wizard (yuan ti)
To be a dm ya have to balance and make sure every fight isnt designs to just upright kill ppl at the start bc. 5d12 worth of dmg with multiple attack on a hag or any creature. Is friggin broken.
There no way in hell a monster for a party of 2, level 3 adventures should hit for 5d12 (3 times) and be able to cast 2 spells (at will without using a spell slot) EVERY ROUND. And on top of that have a movement speed of 90 and an ac of 23. (I asked the dm to let me see what he was using and thers more. Swim of 30, fly of 300 ect this is pretty much a god with its stats but the cr says 6. It dosent even feel like a 6. More like a lv 20 broken sack of crap)
This is the reason there are tutorial guides in the book(s) and youtube to show you why you should look at cr then your players levels b4 u design an encounter.
I cant describe how fustrating it was to see my barbarian. Who I spent 5hours making just get tapped lightly and die. Bc 48 hp at lv 3 and taking well over 10 pts of dmg bc apparently she crit me on all attacks and only did like 1 attack to our female player (for 2 dmg with a level 6 scorching ray [its bs] ) was "Fair bc your a barbarian and should be able to tank this EASILY" (quote the dm.)
If there is a way to piss off players it's this and having a game were you get railroaded so hard it's a traveling trip with skill checks with a minimum of 18-20 to notice something like a bear on the road when the weather is CLEAR and everyone is PAYING THE HELL ATTENTION ON A BANDIT HIGHWAY. Not to mention the SCREAMS OF A CYCLOPS AS IT LITERALLY SMASHES INTO THE CARAVAN ACROSS A PLANE WITH A FEW TREES ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
Oh and let me not forget the NPCS WHO WANT TO SLEEP WITH EVERYONE BC THEY THINK THERE HOT AND DESERVE A NICE HOT MEAT ROD FOR THEIR SERVICES OF INTRODUCING THEMSELVES.
*Facepalm* my god....oh and if your thinking
"GEE-WILLY Mr. Person surely it couldnt be that bad?" This guys campaign was pretty much parappa the rapper, jojo bizarre adventures, bloodborne, Resident evil and memes.
I had a character who came in and apparently they caused the world to have wormholes? (Somehow) and referenced it everytime we played even when that character died. In session one. Bc apparently a company named (I kid you not) Shoe Rack was the equivalent of resident evil's umbrella cooperation. Complete with a drow leader and a litch bookkeeper who turned everyone into zombies to work for free while they apparently made diamonds to sell for millions of gold and keep the workers working g for 1 copper every month. Only giving gold to ppl that would sleep with them.
Not to mention apparently everyone in this world had magic resist or spell immunity to everyone except to females. And when I made a female char apparently that rule became I valid and it was just a straightforward
Me: does a 17 hit?
Dm: well it would but .... *they grin*
Me: but?
Dm: they use a special ring to catch the spell and cast meteor swarm on you point blank.
Me: well they get hit too I just stabbed them with a dagger.
Dm: no you see it's a SMALL METEOR THAT ONLY HITS THE PERSON THAT HIT THEM
Me: so they and my teammate. Who has literally been stabbing them are fine?"
Dm: yes
Me (takes like 589 pts of dmg and is ded)
Dm: the litch turns to you and asks if you want a cup of coffee.
Female player: umm sure?
Dm: whoo-yeah. Combat over you get 500 go and a date with the litch.
Me: I'm sorry what?
Female player: umm...ok. awsome.
Me: ......ok cool so I'll just bring in-
Dm: no that's cool the litch revives yorubas a female zombie slave.
Me: why?
Dm: and you need to have sex to keep yourself alive.
Me: yeah no. I'll just bring in my centaur battle master
1 hour later
Dm: you take umm..let's see *rolls dice.*
Me: (waiting)
Dm: *rolls a shit ton more dice*
Me: (waiting)
Dm: oh oh no *grins*
Me: (takes 40 dmg) I'm still up
Dm: how?
Me: I have 48 hp....I'm still up
Dm: ok it's your attack I guess.
Me: rolls a nat 1 "ok I guess I have disadvantage on my next att-"
Dm: rolls a d100 and a d10 (the percentile)
Me: what are you doing?
Dm: rolling for severity of your fail. Btw how much dmg does your lance do?
Me: it does 1d12 dmg and why are you using severity. That's not in 5e and you said we-
Dm: as you fail you accidentally stab yourself in the throat as your spear hits a rock and you take *rolls dice* 35 pts of dmg
Me: ok I'm out that's bs. Number one and two I have a lance and thers no way I can do 35 dmg. I get about 24 dmg on a crit and 28 if I use my racial feature to kick a person at max with a crit.
Dm: oh your just being salty, you dont play fair!
Me: excuse me?
Dm: ALL YOU DO IS PLAY SPELL CASTWRS AND THATS CHEATING!
Me: bc everyone has spell immunity for some reason or only takes 1/4 the dmg. I'm pretty much useless and am being fored to play melee unlike our LOREMASTER BARD who got an item to DOUBLE HER DMG AND SPELL SLOTS AND CRIT ON A 15 PERMANENTLY (this is the female btw)
Dm: well maybe you should have slept with the litch
Me: she literally found that item in a store for like 3 silver and when I looked (with a 17 arcana check) I found a rusty dagger and a flask of poisoned potion.
Dm: well maybe roll higher?
Female player: umm I rolled like a 10 and found this that's kind of cool but I dont think it's fair. But o wanna keep my items
Dm: ugh fine. You keep yours. Ummm (to me) I guess you get a potion of greater healing for....umm 500 go.
Me:.......nah I'm good, FUCK IT. I'll just make another spell caster Oops. Cant do that. How about a nope. Cant make a barbar I'm going to make a artificer
Dm: cant do that
Me: why?
Dm: they're broken its not good.
Me: *with the book* not broken..ulyou know what why dont you make me a character and I'll use that.
Dm: hands me a sheet
Me: reads "Zonia the sexy zombie elf sex slave that gets stronger every time she has sex?" *Looks at everyone* ok I'm out enjoy the campaign.
Dm: we cant have a dnd adventure with only 1 person.
Me: yes you can you've been doing it since session 1. I'm out goodbye. I'm still running my campaign on sunday. I wont hole anything against you. But I will not sit here and be shit on bc I refuse to kiss yur ass and make a slut of a character. Pull your head from your ass. I'm taking my stuff and I'm out.
Dm: but I need the dm screen and the mat and the markers.
Me: then buy your own or use theater of mind. I'm out.
Like how bad is it to want to be a dm to shit on ppl. THIS, THIS IS NOT OK. and no one wants a zombie sex slave that can only have sex and has a str of 0 a con of 30 a dex of 1 a cha of 40 and so on. Its friggin stupid!
Anyway that's my rant. Im....I think I'm just done with dms and crap I just want to play a dnd game I can be happy with. And not always be the Forever dm. Who has players challenge everything. Like why as a monk they cant use sleight of hand to CATCH A FRIGGIN FIREBALL AND/OR AN ARROW AIMED AT ANOTHER PERSON.
Anyway leave a comment or add on I'm just burnt out and glad I could get this rant off my chest
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This Fine bit of Free Real Estate you see before you is the land of Zeta.
This Map was brought to you by inkarnate.com One of the best Fantasy Map Makers thats completely free to use
 I left off some parts of the map such as the gnome village, the pyres, the aarakocra nest, the tower label. the hags label, lunar isle label, lake label, taverns, inns, brothels Its a creativity canvas for you all! If you are interested in some of the stuff I just mentioned, questions like, why is Isleview the most racially diverse? and why is Fort Tau named so? And what the hell happened to the city of eden?? Give me a comment and Ill tag you in the lore post when I post it x 
I made this big ol' bad boi myself, I thought I'd share it with any other DMs out there who might struggle with world creation and be quite good at characters, or cities, or plots, or whatever it is you shine at! We can't all be good at everything! Just give a little and enjoy yourself Anyway, Here's a little bit about Zeta!
TaDAH! You're looking at the very first map I ever drew of Zeta
Needless to say that it is ENTIRELY different (Thank god) You'll notice some things managed to make the final cut, codcatch for example (I just fell in love with the name, I have no idea why - its so bad) plus the towers (Yes, theyre supposed to be towers) around the City was kept in, but given to the Orc settlement this time
But thats enough about that! I hear you cry; "What use is a fucking map bruh?" "Dude, your map is lame, you better come up with something better"  "BRO, you suck, I need some Lore"
You-Throw-Like-a-Gnoll has got you covered! First things first! I've added some racial limitations to make this game a little more 'interesting' (Insert menacing laugh) To be honest, I just love going on a power trip <3 
Racial Limitations
No Half-Orc or Homebrew Orc-kin No Dwarves or Homebrew Dwarf-kin All other races allowed, Homebrew races must be given reasonable cause for arriving/existing Lunar island on west coast, woodlands, mountain and broken islands all available for said task 
Okay. okay, okay - I know Hill Dwarves are the shit. I know. But you gotta just let them go for this one campaign! My reasoning for this is pretty simple - They got fucking annihilated. Like off the face of Zeta. Orcs are disallowed as PCs because of more political reasons. They're bad, and they've always been bad. They've also never been encountered by any human alive today. This is because they live in The Maw, but more on that later 
Recommended starting locations 
This is pretty self explanatory, I mean, depending on what type of campaign to run, you're gonna wanna start somewhere different. 
Adventure: Codcatch, Isleview 
War : Fort Tau, Tryevale 
Mystery: Tryevale, Fort Tau, Illaris Temple 
Horror: Fort Tau, The Maw 
Interplanar: Isleview 
Intercontinental: Tryvale, Illaris Temple (I added intercontinental because hey, I know a lot of people might want to use this as a once-off before beginning their own world creation, I SUPPORT YOU SO MUCH! Steal this shit from me, send me a kiss and forget about me when you're done! I'm okay with this <3 If anything i've said so far has helped you build your campaign, you've made my day) 
Recommended Arcs This one could do with some more explaining on some parts so its gonna be (Dramatic Music intensifies) a TWO-PARTER! 
Recommended Arcs: 
Adventure: Island in the lake, Tower in the forest, Hag's Knife (northern most point) Illaris Temple, The pyres light one day War: The Maw is the most obvious,        --------SubWar - Invasion - Lunar Isle invasion, Dwarven  revival Mystery: Murder in the capitol, spies in the Fort, whats amiss in the temple Horror: Escape from the Maw, Return of the Duergar Interplanar: Save the island from the curse, Fend off the invasion Intercontinental: Set off on a journey to bring back a coveted magical item, what made the volcano stop 
Thats the short of it guys! I'm probably gonna make some more posts about the lore and other politics and stuff, I already have some very interesting lore about that lake done! A lot of open ended stuff also to help you along the way, but to give you full creative license! Which is what DnD is all about! Anyway, heres the Long version of the Recommended Arcs, hope you enjoyed reading 
Adventure- 
Island in the lake - Looks like the tracks are still there, but the land is gone... Tower in the forest - Someone spoke of a Wizard that grants 3 wishes  Hag's Knife - Does the Hagraven's blood hold the secret that you want to hear Illaris Temple - Anyone who has left the temple has taken an eternal vow of silence (The Pyres light) - This requires some more in-depth lore, Comment below if you'd like to be tagged in the Lore post!
War- The Maw - The Maw is ran by Orcs (inhabited by Hobgoblins and Co. See Volo's Guide to Monsters on advice on how Hobgoblins assemble in armies, very interesting read), no one has fought an orc and lived, few have even seen orcs - One day during training in Fort Tau - you see a hundred Lunar Isle invasion - One day, A magically echoing scream is heard from Lunar island, one of the portals on the island  opens up bigger than ever before Dwarven Revival - The Thumping of Dwarven Music can be heard in the distance, The Hobgoblins abandon their posts 
Mystery- Murder in the capitol - easy peasy squeezey lemons Spies in the for t- Easy squeezy lemon peasy Whats amiss in the temple - See adventure 
Horror- 
Escape from The Maw - You all end up in chains, hobgoblins and trolls taunt you with pebbles and hang food just out of your reach, one night, a Lawful cleric frees you all from your chains, what do? Return of the Duergar - See Dwarven Revival, but add +4 to spook Interplanar - Save the island from the curse - this doesn't fit into the lore so much, as it assumes the lunar island is cursed. but hey, Creativity is the name of the game! Fend off the invasion - See Lunar Isle invasion 
Intercontinental - This list isn’t even CLOSE to being complete, intercontinental could literally mean, lets get the fuck off this island and go do quests somewhere else! The Stopped Volcano - A long Haul, Late Game, Lore Heavy, Late Night, Lose your Mind, Load the gun and shoot yourself in the face because this story is so long but so interesting so i cant stop playyyinggggggggg story. But youre gonna need to wait for the lore post for this one ;) Love you all, If you made it this far, I applaud you, you're making me smile, 
Be nice to each other and never grow up 
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runningwitches · 7 years
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Loved
Summary: The reader is sad because they feel useless. Steve makes sure they know that’s not true and the party cheers them the heck up.
Request?: Nah M8 I’m just sad as heck
Word Count: 1819
A/N: i mean, seasonal depression and a neverending fear that nobody will ever love me and that I will die alone drove me to binge read a shit ton of steve harrington x reader fics and cry despite the fact that i havent finished season two of stranger things but im gonna write this anyways.
i guess this is steve x reader but thats not the main point of the story
idfk i just want to be loved
(umm, henderson! reader who is loved by everyone, i do not give a shit if this follows the exact storyline, ok? i just wanna be happy again) (also i do not look anything like a henderson! so reader can be adopted or some shit? maybe a cousin?  who tf knoes? not me, thats for sure !!
Warnings: Probably Season Two Spoilers, No Editing, Probably super OOC and all that because I started this at almost three in the morning and now its four and I’m exhausted but I cant sleep because I’m sad. Anyways I’m just trying to say that it’s bad but I’ll love you if you read it anyways.
I was curled up in my bed, isolating myself from everyone as per usual. After the events with the mind flayer and demodogs and upside down, I realized something pretty depressing. Nobody needed me. I mean like? Sure I was Dustin’s sister. And sure, I was kinda helpful in saving Steve’s ass from the demodogs and Billy, but it just feels as if I weren’t there, nobody would even notice. As if my presence had no positive value to anyone in The Party™.
So instead of socializing with them while they all played DnD and joked around, I sat myself in my room, wrapped in a blanket burrito, holding back tears. I had my music on in the background as I mindlessly flipped through one of the magazines my mom had bought for me. Everyone was downstairs as it was Dustin’s turn to host the DnD night, and everyone was over. I mean, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Will, El, Max, Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, and I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if I walked downstairs to find Joyce and Hopper there too. Every once in awhile I would hear some loud laughter come up from the group, signifying how happy they were without me there. It definitely wasn’t easy for me to sit there by myself staring blankly at the pictures of celebrities I didn’t even care about, but I continued to tell myself that they would be happier without me, attempting to drown out the sounds of their joy with the mixtape I had made for myself a little while back.
As I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing, trying to force the tears that had started to pool back into my eyes, I heard someone knocking on my door. I quickly wiped my eyes to ensure there weren’t any stray tears, pulled the blanket tighter around my body, and attempted to look miserable. But miserable in a sick way and not in a sad way. If it were anybody except Dustin or Steve, I knew I was going to be able to pull off the “I’m not feeling very well” charade, so my chances were pretty good (though odds were rarely skewed in my favor).
Of course with my luck my little brother came bursting through the door.
“(Y/N)! Why aren’t you down there playing DnD with us?!” he asked, voice booming loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. As I prepared to try my excuse with him to see if my acting skills had gotten any better, I noticed someone else walking through the door. Looking up, my watery eyes met the concerned look on Steve’s face.
“Hey shithead, stop screaming. You don’t need to tell everyone in Hawkins about your sister’s lack of participation in game night,” he said to Dustin, ruffling his hair and then muttering for him to go back downstairs. Dustin looked angrily at Steve for a moment before looking between us for a second, muttered something to himself, and then left the room, surprisingly closing my door as he left.
“What’s up with you lately? It’s not like you to miss game night, but you haven’t been to a single one these past few weeks.”
“I’m just not feeling well, Steve, don’t worry about it,” I told him, looking down at the magazine in my lap and trying to will the tears away.
“Don’t try that bullshit with me, (Y/N). I know you better than that, do you really think I’d believe that crap?”
“There’s no bullshit to be had Steve, just go back downstairs, I’ll be fine,” I told him, yet I still refused to make eye contact. So when he sat down on the edge of my bed, put two fingers under my chin, and lifted my head up in order for me to make eye contact, I saw his face immediately soften.
“I’m not gonna go back downstairs until I figure out what’s wrong with my favorite girl.”
It took all of the resolve in the world for me to not break down at those two words, and it still didn’t even work. “Favorite girl?” I repeated, but only in my own head. “There’s no way I’m his favorite girl, he’s lying to me. Everyone always lies to me” I told myself. And in that second it was like the dam was broken. The tears started to fall freely from my face. I curled myself into more of a ball than I already was, which was a surprising feat of human flexibility, if I’m being completely honest. Steve’s arms immediately went around me, pulling us closer to each other, and practically pulling me into his lap.
I didn’t say a word as he stroked my hair and shushed me softly, I simply let out a series of what I would consider disgusting sobs.
He continued whispering to me, little things telling me that I’d be okay, or that he was there for me, or that everything was gonna be fine. As my breathing finally evened out, he hadn’t asked me what was wrong like I had expected, so I knew I had to speak up.
“Why are you even here, Harrington?” I asked him bitterly.
“What do you mean?” he replied, exasperated.
“Why do you even care about me?” I reiterated with a sniffle.
“Why do I care about you? (Y/N) what are you on about? It would take me ages to list all of that back to you.” I didn’t respond, but I allowed myself to relax a bit, leaning now onto his chest instead of holding myself as far away as I could while somehow still being in his lap. “(Y/N) you’re wonderful. You care so much about all of the kids, sometimes I think you out-mom even their own mom’s.” That was greeted with a sharp exhale from my nose which was (correctly) interpreted as a laugh. “You’re fucking badass. You can use a gun, a bat, a hockey stick, and pretty much anything else you can get your hands on to slay monsters, like real life monsters.” He checked my face after this comment, and was lucky he did, because he almost missed the slight curl of my lips. “You never let anybody get in the way of doing what needs to be done. Not even racist douchebags that show up and kick my ass. And you certainly don’t take shit from anyone.” A few more tears fell from my eyes, but he grabbed my face and used his thumbs to wipe them away, looking into my eyes. “And you’ve got a whole group of teenagers sitting down there worried sick about you because you mean so much to all of them.”
I sniffled again and threw my arms around his neck, whispering an almost inaudible, “Thank you.”
“Of course, sweetheart. Now let’s go get you cleaned up so we can finish that game of DnD.” I almost blushed at the pet name he gave me, if he didn’t sweep me up into his arms and carry me to the bathroom so I could rinse my face off. He made sure to grab my blanket from my bed and grabbed my hand to lead me down the stairs.
“Wow, it’s so nice of you to join us,” Dustin said the second we were down the stairs, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Steve shot him a look that said, “shut up or I’ll kill you,” while I just gave him a small smile. Before I even got settled on the couch I was smothered by two bear hugs.
“I missed you (Y/N),” El told me, gripping me in probably the tightest hug I’ve ever had. “You were gone for three weeks!”
“Yeah dude! Don’t leave us alone with these losers for that long ever again!” Max exclaimed, hugging me almost as tight as El was.
I smiled down at both of them, hugging them back just as fiercely. Looking up, I saw the smile Steve had on, but I ignored it in favor of the smiles on my girls’ faces. Ruffling their hair, I removed myself from their grips and went to sit on the couch between Steve and Nancy.
“It’s a good thing you came back (Y/N). I almost killed your brother, and not in the campaign, in real life. I’m pretty sure you’d be the only one who could stop me.” I chuckled to myself and then smiled at Lucas.
“It’s a good thing that I’m back then, huh?”
Will looked up at me this time, “Definitely! I was waiting for you to come down so I could show you this drawing!” I smiled down at him, glancing briefly at Jonathan, only enough to recognize the immense pride on his face at the fact that Will was genuinely happy and smiley. He brought it up to show me a picture that he had drawn of me fighting a monster, a cute little label that pertained to my name at the top. “Steve said you fought a monster and won! And I didn’t even get to see it. So I thought I’d draw it out for you.”
“I love it Will!” I exclaimed, pulling him into a hug and looking at the drawing again. It wasn’t until this second look that I noticed a label by the monster’s head as well. It simply read, “Billy” with a little arrow to indicate that the monster I was beating up was named Billy. I laughed at the naming of the monster and pulled Will into another hug, pressing a light kiss to the top of his head. He grabbed the drawing and placed himself back into his spot.
“(Y/N), you want to hop in on this campaign? We’ve still got a while left to go and we’re in a pretty good spot to add another character?” Mike offered, as he was playing Dungeon Master.
“Yeah, come on (Y/N)! You haven’t actually played in forever!” Dustin added.
The rest of the group added their own chorus of “Yeah”s to try and convince you to join.
“Okay, I guess. But only if I get to be a healer! I’m tired of killing the monsters,” I joked, earning a laugh from everyone in the room.
“Okay, okay, so the group walks up to the tavern in town, hoping for a nice evening away from the fighting for once. But the open the door and see, A MOM, not just A mom, it’s their mom!”
“What?” El asked.
“Mike what are you on about?” Lucas added.
“OH MY GOD, (Y/N)’S GONNA BE LIKE OUR TEAM’S MOM!” Max shouted in realization. The whole group looked at Mike in anticipation. “Well obviously, how else would I have gone about this? It’s perfect, and the perfect position to make her the healer.”
“I mean, technically she’s my sister,” Dustin announced, implying that you couldn’t be his mom.
“See (Y/N), I told you I was gonna kill him.”
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