#thats a real sentence trust me say it out loud

[daily-hanamura]

For your consideration vis-a-vis that last post:

Yosuke starts calling his partner Yu without any honorifics ... So Yu starts calling him Yo.

Their greetings go like this:

"Yo, Yu!"

"Yo-yo!"

[serumandsteel]

the way we heal | jj maybank

- pairings: jj maybank x reader

- summary: people deal with trauma in different ways but it seems that jj thinks you don't care about the loss of your friends and deep down himself but he just needs to understand that people heal in their own time and through their own meanings, he just needed to be reassured of it. kinda pre season 2 ep 1 give ot take

- warning(s): really motherfucking angsty and swearing. mention of substance abuse

- wc: 2.2k :))))

a/n: all my fics the pogues and reader are the age 17/18 only because that's more comfortable for me to write. its been a long long time since i have wrote something so sorry for and spelling errors

People tend to deal with trauma differently. It could be resulting to crying you eyes out until you can’t breath and you can’t see through your tears clouding your eyes. Drinking until your liver wants to shut down and you whole body is so numb that yourself and everyone around you is so tuned out that you can’t function. Resulting to drugs to either feel something or not to feel anything at all. Or to have something to blame your actions on from yourself acting out simply because you don’t know how to handle the situation of a friend dying.

See you on the other hand dealt with it internally or the whim and feeling of not accepting death. Maybe it was your subconscious talking wanting you not to accept or maybe it was the gut feeling that you always got telling you that they were actually alive and have survived that storm that ‘supposedly’ had swept them away because “no body was found”.

This ‘gut feeling’ had always been right in many life or death situations. Or even just you picking out an outfit that you were unsure of whether it was going to get the boys attention that you had a crush on. It did indeed get his attention that night because that’s how you ended up loosing your virginity that night but that’s besides the point.

The best way you could describe it was like when people would do personality tests and it would ask “are you controlled by your heart or what you feel” probably not those exact words but you get the point. I felt with my feelings if my gut said yes then it was a yes.

Since the night that John B and Sarah had ‘died’ your gut had been telling you the opposite. That they were in fact not dead. As Big John use to say when you were a kid, you can never kill a Routledge. At the time it seemed like bullshit but now it was starting to grow on you.

However now your two friends were presumed dead and not everyone dealt with trauma like you did. Some would even go as far to say that you didn’t actually give a fuck that your friends were dead because you hadn’t cried or you hadn’t drunk yourself into a state of no return or resulted to smoking weed every single day and spray painted ‘murder’ on Ward Cameron’s estate. But at least Kiara wasn’t lying.

But the thing was you hadn’t cried because you couldn’t, you quite literally hated crying because it made you feel weak. Even if you tried and you tried your hardest but nothing came. At this point you could go as far as denial. This gut feeling was like getting hit by a semi truck every time a thought came into your head questioning maybe they were dead. Maybe they did get swept away at sea and never to return.

Your gut feeling was simply not letting you mourn the loss of John B and Sarah and now everyone thought you were an emotionless bitch. I mean they were right to a point but not the whole point.

So that brought you to current day driving around the Cut and night playing fucking real life Where’s Wally but its Where’s JJ Maybank because he’s blacked out drunk somewhere and now you’re on a rescue mission. Not like you had done enough of those in the last few weeks.

About an hour ago your phone rang and it was JJ asking you to come pick him up since somehow he had now idea where he had ended up and was too far gone to put together his surroundings. Well that’s what you had assumed he said since you had to decipher his slurred words.

At this point you had driven around the whole island and gone to every hid out spot that he would go smoke at or to just get away from everyday life. You had gone to all but one place. Where you avoiding that particular house because it held so many memories, plus the fact you hadn’t been near the place since shit hit rock bottom. Yes? But it was the highest chance that JJ was sitting on that dock with his legs swinging over it with a beer in hand.

Well you were right. As you walked down the old dock to where JJ was sitting it was if you could feel all the emotions, thoughts and disbelief crawling their way up your skin from the ground you were walking on. But that gut feeling was like a wave of fire, burning it all the way back to the ground.

“I don’t know why I just didn’t look here first. I should have known aye” you half heartedly said trying to keep the conversation light since you didn’t know what state JJ was going to be in. From the huff you got in response told you he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“How much have you had J?” You asked with concern but still trying to keep you voice light and less reprimanding because you knew he was in a too fragile state for you to be angry.

“Does it even matter how much Iv had. I don’t feel shit anymore” he replied back with his words straight forward and sobered.

“Well have you even given yourself a break for your body to sober up for you to even feel the effects of it? Or have you still been going since yesterday when I saw you? J its not going to do shit if you don’t give it a rest for at least a day or so” you said back trying you best to keep you and your voice as calm as possible. You fucking hated seeing JJ like this, you would never say it to his face but fuck it just reminded you of his dad when he got into states like this. Until the last week you had never seen JJ this bad. But could you blame him.

“You just don’t get it do you” JJ was now facing you and by the tone of his voice you had unintentionally struck a nerve that you were actively avoiding. “Why did you even fucking come if you’re just going to tell me how I should cope. Do you even care that JB has gone? He was our best fucking friend. He was my fucking brother my only family! And he’s fucking gone just like his old man. You haven’t even shed a tear y/n. You’re just acting like nothing had happened. Do you even care!” JJ was now on his feet breathing heavily and his jaw so clenched you’re surprised his teeth haven’t broken

“J, please do not yell at me right now” you asked with your voice shaking trying to hold back something that was bubbling at the surface. Was it anger or was it the water works that desperately needed to be let out.

JJ started to walk back up the dock, showing that he was done with this conversation that he could have avoided if he didn’t ask you in the first place to come pick him up. Deep down he knew that you would be the only one to come and get him, he just wasn’t as good at showing his gratefulness due to the alcohol that was numbing him.

“JJ just wait please, please don’t walk away” You stood back up and starting walking after him quick on the backs of his feet. He halted his tracks and turned around to look at you with a pained look in his face, as you got up close you could see his eyes stained red. Either from crying or the linger of weed still in his system.

“What could you possibly want to say y/n. I really thought you would be the last person not to care about this” JJ was now right up in your face and his voice was holding back trying his best not to yell. But that last sentence had taken you back.

“You think I don’t care JJ!” now you starting yelling “of course I give a shit JJ our friends are gone, they are not fucking here. I know it might not seem that I don’t care. But just because I’m not crying my eyes out every hour or drinking myself into a state where I don’t now where the fuck I am or getting high that I spray paint on any wall I see” your breath was now battling to come to the surface because you were talking so fast.

“Just because Im not doing any of those things doesn’t mean I don’t care JJ! People deal with this shit differently and you need to understand that” you breathed out trying to grasp for air again “the thing is JJ I have this annoying gut feeling thats telling me that John B and Sarah are not dead, and its literally preventing me to mourn them. I have convinced myself that they are alive and I can’t fucking mourn non dead people J. I don’t know how to fucking explain it”

“Well why didn’t you just tell us that” he replied after bit letting your whole rant sink into his brain, weaving its way through the alcohol that was clouding it.

“Because JJ! Even saying that out loud I sound fucking crazy, like I’m in a deep pit of denial. The thing is I’m far from denial. Yes I know there is a massive fucking fat chance that they are dead and have been food for the sharks” you exclaimed

“Don’t make it worse y/n” JJ shook his head not very happy with your choice of words

“Okay yeah sorry bad wording. Im sorry” you lowered your head in sorrow wanting to slap yourself in the face for trying to make jokes out of trauma.

“So its not that I don’t care J, trust me I do care. But John B and Sarah are not physically here with us and I cant physically care for them right now. But when we see them can do that”

“Y/n -“ JJ tried to get a word in but you hadn’t finished

“Don’t JJ. We will see them again” you put an emphasis on ‘will’ “I trust my gut and even you know that when I get a gut feeling that it’s always been right. Correct?”

“Yes but -“ he tried to get another word in but you needed him to listen.

“JJ I care about you. I care about Kiara and Pope. You guys are physically here for me to care for. The thing is I haven’t spoken to Kie since she’s with Pope half the time and I have spoken to Pope since he’s with Kid half the time and you? I can’t speak to you because your too far gone in beers to for me to even get a coherent conversation in” This was such an over due conversation to be had, you were now on the verge of hyperventilating. You needed JJ to hear this. Fully sober would have been better but half sober is the best you’re gonna get.

“JJ I understand if that’s how you’re going to deal with all of this but you can’t throw yourself completely away. We need you. I need you JJ. I can’t have you going off the deep end and then we loose you too. You need to be here for when we get John B back. He will need you for when he’s back”. The water works that you had been holding back had finally been released and trust it to be in front of JJ. He was your fucking rock, you couldn’t loose him. No way that would be your last day on earth if that were to happen.

“I-. Im sorry. I’m just so fucking lost y/n. I don’t know what the fuck to do. You’re always at work and Kie and Pope are god knows where. I just want this to go away so fucking bad. All this pain, I feel like I have no one” JJ was now crying to and gripping your waist as is you could float away into the air

“I know JJ, but you have us you have always had us. But you have to be so stubborn sometimes that you won’t let us in and help, you won’t let me in a help you” you had JJ’s face in your hands making him look at you so he knew you meant every single word. “I’m so sorry if you didn’t think I cared and I wasn’t there to help you, I just deal with this shit in a different way. Just like every single other person. We all heal differently and that’s okay. It dosent mean we care less. It doesn’t mean I care less”

Now there you and JJ stand on the dock leading off the chateau both in each others embrace purging the pain that’s both been locked up inside you for so long. The past you and JJ had people really didn’t tend to understand but neither did you. But you would always find your way back to each other at the end of the day. Despite the fights you had in the past and the days you would be at each others throats screaming at each other to the days you would be secretly stealing a glance at him because you just couldn’t help yourself.

You would always be there to help him take the pain away and he was always be there to do the same for you.

[kats-kradle]

Hi hello yes I actually found your blog while I was looking for Ronon Dex whump, something there is not nearly enough of, and I just wanted to say that should you ever want to share your thoughts about him, whump-related or otherwise, I'm around to hear them,,, I care him very much (which is why I like to see him hurt... funny how that works).

OHOHOHOHOHO DID SOMEONE SAY THE MAGIC WORDS “RONON WHUMP”????? And yes there is not NEARLY enough Ronon whump!!! Buckle up I don’t think you know what you’ve unleashed by offering to let me talk about this XD i have 43 (i counted thats not an exaggeration) unfinished fics where i whump this man so i have A Lot of Thoughts on this so i’ll try to keep my headcanons and general thoughts from getting mixed up so here we go (also I haven’t actually seen past season 3ish but I know like everything)

Just general thoughts

I just love the team dynamic in general the actors had great chemistry with each other

They don’t whump Ronon enough and that is A Crime.    

But when they do whump him OH BOY ITS GOOD

Just off the top of my head I can think of     the episode where John and Elizabeth were possessed by those people who     wanted to kill each other and ronon got SHOT that was dope especially when     it showed the surgery but I was so mad there was no aftercare

Also just the fact that after Ronon was shot the guy possessing John said (about John) something like “if only you could hear him right now he is screaming so loud” or something to that effect and I’m not really a John whumper but oh boy the thought of John fighting as hard as he could to try and get control back because he wants to help Ronon rlly adds to the experience

After atlantis flies and John is going around checking the damage and he finds Ronon with the shard of glass in his shoulder juts the way he kneels down next to him is so soft and his voice goes soft too its great

I haven’t gotten there yet but ohoho the enzyme episode where Ronon gets drugged and then has to go through withdrawal ohooho I may have watched that scene a few hundred times

I just love also how fiercely loyal Ronon is and how much he trusts them

That ep where those villagers were going to give them to the wraith and Ronon literally would rather die than let his friends be taken to the wraith I love how John and Teyla go through like  45 heart attacks that’s one of the ones I haven’t gotten to yet but ive  seen gifs and oh boy oh boy does it look good

The way I generally describe Ronon is he’s     like a bug fluffy dog. Like he’s kind of silly sometimes and he’s very     loyal and will kill without hesitation if it means keeping his friends     safe

Also just that whole scene when Ronon arrives     when John is asking Elizabeth if he can stay is just like a kid asking his     mom if he can keep a dog he found

And Ronon has such a sweet smile also I love it when hes happy (but also I love it when hes in pain)

Stargate Atlantis was very well directed because for most definitions of “good acting” you can see “oh this character is sad. Now they are happy” which I do understand that many people prefer  this because they have difficulty interpreting facial expressions but I absolutely adore how subtly expressive the actors are because to me it’s fascinating to decode what the character is feeling. They act like real people and talk in the way real people would and it seems super natural and not scripted, and you can just tell in their interactions that the characters care for each other a lot and its beautiful

Now that I’ve said something vaguely scholarly-like its time to move on to the mess of headcanons

Headcanons

So when rewatching season 2 with my sister I realized the amazing potential for angst involving Kell (his old commander who he killed) so in my mind even though he’s very loyal to John at first it was more of a “you saved my life now I’ll watch your back because I owe you” and he had difficulty trusting any of them but especially John this changes over time ofc but he can’t help being wary of command 

I also hc that Kell  would punish the soldiers in his division for being “unfit” for battle so like if they broke a leg or something they would be punished  (this is mostly just for my guilty pleasure of ANGST) so that way they     would “be more aware” of their surroundings and whatnot 

Also disobey direct  orders was a big no no and you know how laid back John usually is with  orders so the first time Teyla disobeyed a direct order after Ronon joined the team John was grumbling about it in a way Teyla knew wasn’t serious but Ronon just kind of panicked and started lying his ass off and saying he threatened her into doing it and he should take the punishment which led to an awkward conversation (awkward for Ronon, it left his teammates ready for some murdering)

He hides injuries  because he was alone for so long and never had anyone to take care of him so he just forgets that he has to mention it and in his mind some injuries might not be that bad 

Beckett is constantly  chasing him around after missions desperately trying to get him to hold  still for long enough to do a check

Ronon hates pain medicine because it tends to dull his senses so in his mind all the more  reason to avoid Beckett

He is really good friends with Beckett but just not when he’s hurt

Usually he wanders into the medbay after bad nightmares if Beckett is on night shift and will just sit there

One time he hesitantly asked if Beckett could check to make sure that the tracker was actually gone for good

Ronon was expecting to get laughed at but Beckett took the request with the upmost seriousness and ran all the tests he could think of to calm Ronon’s fear

One time Ronon stumbled into the medbay and he obviously hadn’t slept in a while and was flinching at every noise so Beckett made up an excuse to “take some blood to test and see if it would be compatible with vaccines for the common sicknesses  humans get” and just like. Sedated him. Ronon felt betrayed at first but quickly realized that Beckett only did it because he cared about him and wasworried. He did try to get more sleep after that tho

Oh and you can bet Beckett goes off at him if he ever ends up in the medbay which he does to everyone but  especially Ronon because usually he’s either dragged there or he’ll come  in like “yeah so three days ago for the last mission I got hit in the side and now I’m coughing up blood so…” and then will just like pass out

While he was a runner he trained himself to be a light sleeper so adjusting to Atlantis was difficult because the ocean would wake him up every night at first

Also thunderstorms are The Worst to him because 1. It gives him PTSD for when he was a soldier and the wraith were attacking and 2. When he was a runner thunderstorms were almost a death sentence because the wraith could track him but he couldn’t hide he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see so yeah thunderstorms are real bad for him

He has a constant fear of leading the Wraith to his new home and his new family oh also I decided that he doesn’t know if his mother died or not so every place they go he’s hopeful he’ll see her

This is a hc I had before I knew it was basically canon but he and the team hang out in the cafeteria a lot especially after nightmares they just all gravitate there

Also I haven’t gotten here yet so I’m just going off of what I know but he kind of tried to leave after Beckett died because he managed to find a way to blame himself also one of my hcs is that Beckett would tell him  about Scotland all the time and had decided that if they ever got the opportunity to go to Earth then Ronon was coming to Scotland with him sooo     ehehhe the angst of Ronon going to earth for Beckett’s funeral and going     to Scotland with Beckett but not in the way either of them wanted

On to softer hcs just cuz

He loves hugs. 7 years of being alone would  make anyone want a hug.

Children gravitate to him for some reason. Logically it doesn’t make sense because he’s so big and a bit intimidating but children just adore him

He carries extra snacks for Rodney

He can’t swim. Somehow he went his entire life without knowing how to swim which Rodney is astounded by and goes on about it for a minute or so

John took it upon himself to give him swimming lessons. John was a terrible teacher but Ronon managed to get the idea

He loves cocoa, specifically loaded with marshmallows. Teyla jokes he likes the marshmallows more than the cocoa

Wow this has gone on so much longer than I thought it would

So that’s it! you unleashed the beast. I now demand to hear your thoughts on ronon because boy oh boy hes a great whumpee and im not sure ive met many if anyone who likes to whumpe him so im super excited!!

[tourist-in-teyvat]

Hello! I saw your matchup rules and it seems like fun! Would it be alright to ask for all three? If not, that’s perfectly fine, you can pick whichever you think would be the most fun for you to write, since that’s what’s most important overall, don’t overwhelm yourself ^^;

Vison:

Trying to organize this the best I can lol, but it’s kinda difficult when I don’t understand the tumblr ask controls, so sorry about that- Anyway, my MBTI type is INFP, although I’ll admit that I lost interest in and stopped researching the types after I figured out which one I was, so I’m not entirely sure what that means (at least assuming I’m remembering the result right, my memory isn’t the best so it’s entirely possible I’m wrong but I don’t feel like taking the test again lol-). I’m not the best at describing myself, but I’ve been told that I’m nice, smart, and funny. I’ve also been told I’m optimistic, but I personally thought I was pessimistic but eh who knows at this point. I’ve also been told I’m introverted I guess?? I’m really terrible at describing myself beyond what people tell me I’m sorry ahhh- I really want to do something to help people, if that counts as an ambition, but there’s really only so much I can do myself. I’m trying to work to become something in the entertainment industry, both because I like doing that and making people laugh, and because it’s easier to start charity fundraisers if you have some sort of following, which most often stems from those fields of work. I mainly want to help people who the world has sort of like betrayed if that makes sense, like homeless people who can’t get a job to stop being homeless BECAUSE they’re homeless, kids who are mistreated for literally just existing, those kinds of things. Worst case scenario I’ll just like start a revolution or something lol. (Only half joking- I WILL do that if I feel I have to. Watch out government I’m comin for ya lmao-) For challenges I usually try to fix the problem without people really knowing I fixed the problem, or the way that’s easiest. If I can’t do either of those for whatever reason I won’t do it normally, I’m going to do it in the most unreasonably over the top way because I think it’s funny. I don’t really handle gifts the best, unfortunately. My first thought if it’s not for like a specific event is “what do they want is this a trap-” but if it’s for something I skip that step and go right into “why did you spend money/time on me I’m so sorry-”. I don’t really feel happiness 90% of the time for whatever reason even though I am grateful, but it doesn’t seem like I am because I’m just sitting there like “I should be hyped right why do I feel nothing that’s weird am I broken???” Yeah idk either.

Character:

What kind of matchup it is I will leave entirely up to you, I honestly don’t mind either way. If you choose platonic, gender doesn’t matter to me, but if it’s romantic I’m asexual but I prefer guys. If you really want to write romantic and a girl though I don’t really care, be free lol. I don’t really go out of my way to interact with people. I only initiate interaction with someone I’m not already friends with if I need to talk to them to make my life easier, like if we’re assigned to work on the same thing together or they’re my best bet on getting the information I need. The issue is then they have to be like really persistent because i have ✨~Trust Issues~✨™️ so I’m immediately suspicious that they’re trying to mock me in some way, or are planning something against me, which I mean I guess can be the same thing but whatever. Once I’m relatively comfortable though I’m really loud and hate being serious. That can also cause some issues because my sense of humor is usually almost complet nonsense to anyone who isn’t me (or who shares my sense of humor) or relatively dark. Because of that, I really value people who can just roll with my jokes, because that’s honestly one of my favorite things to do and not many people can do that. I also usually like people who are confident since like thats the only way we’re probably going to interact at the start and also they can ask people for things for me lol. I can’t stand people who can’t understand what I’m trying to tell them when I’ve already tried to make it as simple as possible, doubt my knowledge on something I just told them I know about, or have absolutely no respect for anyone that isn’t them. I also don’t like people touching me (others don’t really like it either as my instinct reaction is usually to hit them before I realize what’s going on-), but I can tolerate it if it’s within my strangely specific boundaries, I know it’s coming, and I actually know and like the person. Then and only then, will my response not be to strike them down lol- I also have the bad habits of often accidentally rambling (like I’m doing right now in all of these replies wow so meta-), interrupting people when I have a thought (I try to say it before I forget, realize other people are still talking and try to shut up but I physically can’t until I finish the sentence), or lying to get out of situations I don’t think will end well for me (be it mildly embarrassing or we all die lol). So yeah that’s not great but it happens I guess.

Team:

Usually in groups I always somehow end up being the leader even though I really don’t want to and nobody really verbally agrees on it, it just happens. I always respond to what weapon I would use with now since I always play as bow users in games that have characters that use bows, but I think I would actually use a sword or a claymore were I to be put in that situation. Catalysts aren’t real so I’m not including them in my process of elimination, I’m extremely nearsighted so I doubt I’d be able to aim the bow well, I don’t understand polearms no matter how hard I try just like how do you hold it what-, so my best bet is probably a claymore or sword. Not sure which one though, but if I had to pick I’m not physically the fastest so the claymore makes more sense taking that into account. Yeah I don’t work in groups often idk what else to say for this specifically that I haven’t said in the others uhhhhhhhh-

Sorry this got so long, my bad lol. If you don’t want to respond I totally get it, and since this is so long it also makes sense if you want to not respond, so you can just indicate that it’s this one with this emoji if you want (✨). Sorry again and I hope you have a nice day! :)

If someone else had the same thought and wants to use ✨ that’s fine (wouldn’t be the first time) so if that happens you can use 🐀 as a backup lol. (BET NOBODY WILL USE THAT H A H I WIN jk lol-)

Vision: “Justice flows across the water’s surface.”  

> You feel a cool and soothing mist settle on your skin as a deep blue glow draws your attention to your hands. A hydro vision, it’s silver casing glimmering in the visions’ light. It seems your kind nature and your need to help others has granted you a hydro vision. How you wield this vision is completely up to you. 

Character: Thoma (romantic/platonic)

> You strike me as the type of person Thoma would get along with. Being born and raised in Mondstat, he keeps that relaxed and cheery aura around himself while in Inazuma. He’s got a keen eye for people and their character, and adapts to whoever he’s talking to. He would want to get to know you as soon as he caught wind of you. He’s energetic, but respectful, so you won’t have to worry about boundaries being pushed at all. And you certainly won’t have to worry about him dismissing your ideas. He wouldn’t have the job he has now if he didn’t learn to communicate with others and hear what they have to say as well. And believe it or not, he wouldn’t find your dark humor off-putting at all.

Team: Lisa, Kazuha, Bennett

> Being a hydro claymore user, I can see you being the main dps in this team dynamic. I feel as if Lisa’s electro would offer excellent super-conduct moves. and Kazuha being a support/sub dps would also compliment the team nicely. Bennett would also offer a nice addition to the team with his ult, making this a well rounded team. As for how the team dynamic goes? That’s entirely up to you 😉 You are the leader after all. 

[brattonez]

onlyfans | a. porter

Austin hadn’t told a soul about it. 

It wasn’t that he was embarassed about it. It more about the fact that he felt as if he had told someone about her, they would end up just like how he was now. He fell upon her on the popular porn site a month ago and hadn’t spent a day since without looking at one of her videos. It became so much that he would isolate himself in his room for a while randomly during the day. 

And of course, the boys wondered if something was wrong. Brandon, being the first to pull him to the side and ask if anything was going on. “Nah man trust me, I’m cool.” Is all Austin would say to the pondering questions. Was he though? He didn’t even know anymore. Is it normal to be completely infactuated with a woman you’ve never met in real life? Is this how his fans feel? 

Sitting at his desk in his room, he sighed. His eyes trailed towards his room door, making sure it was locked. He looked at his phone for any texts that would come in the way with what he was about to do and he was more than relieved to see that there weren’t any. Opening up his laptop, he immediately went to her page and smiled once he saw a brand new video uploaded. Clicking on it quickly, a visual of her wearing some fancy purple lingerie graced his screen. Inhaling deeply, he grabbed his lotion and slowly got to work. “Fuck...” Austin mumbles, pleasure ingulfing his entire body as he throws his head back and closing his eyes. 

“Don’t work yourself up too quickly, Austin.”

The 22 year old boy’s entire body freezes. His eyes open and he can’t believe what he sees. The girl that he had been frantically fantasizing about for about a month was right in front of him. On her knees, between his legs, to be exact.  “Wha-” She cuts him off, her hands gripping his thighs tightly. “Don’t speak. You don’t wanna alarm the boys, do you?” She giggles as she eyes his shaft in his hands. “Mm, is this for me?” She asks him before replacing his hand with her own. “Thank you.” 

Austin, bewildered and aroused, brings his hands to his side and watches as she draws a long lick from his base all the way to his tip. His mouth opens, a loud gasp escaping as he tenses up. She moans as she takes him into her mouth, slowly easing down his shaft. Trying her best to fit as much as she can.  Austin brings his hand to the back of her head, guiding her down. She takes this time to bring her free hand to his thigh, caressing and gripping it for extra stimulation. His eyes were closed again, head thrown back. 

This was something he had never felt before. He started to moan louder, suddenly not caring about who would hear him. She begin to hollow her cheeks, sucking him harder. Opening his eyes, he looks down to meet with her eyes looking up at him. They stare at each other for what feels like forever. She takes him out of her mouth and strokes him, smirking. “Does it feel good, Austin? Hm? Does it feel good, baby?” She softly asks him, stroking him faster. He rapidly nods his head, unable to speak as he begins to feel a familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. She shakes her head. “I need to hear you, honey.” 

With his chest beginning to heave, Austin speaks. “It feels good. Its f-feels soooo g-good...” He tries to his best but soon just starts repeating his sentences over and over. She smiles before inching closer to him. “Are you gonna cum for me?” Now sweating and squirming, he answers quickly. “Yes...” A small giggle comes from her before she ingulfs him in her mouth again. She didn’t need to say anything else. Austin had already got the message. 

His entire body stiffen. Behind his closed eyes, white spots could be seen. Loud gasp escaped his mouth as his orgasm took over him. She gladly accepted his cum, swallowing it all. 

Slowly coming down, Austin opened his eyes. Confusion written all over his face. The girl was gone. His computer screen had went into sleep mode and his desk was ruined. He looked to his left and his right, she was nowhere to be seen. “W-what the f-” A loud knock on his door cuts him off. 

“Yooo, Austin. I know we all got our needs man but next time can you be a little quieter?” Nick’s voice from the door says. “Yeah bro, the whole house heard you singing notes we ain’t ever heard you sing before!” Zion adds. Austin, too much in shock to understand, looks at his computer and sees that he never played the video he was going to. 

Sighing deeply, he leans back in his chair and looks up at the ceiling. He’s silent for a moment before mumbling to himself. 

“I have a fucking problem.” 

A/N: Annddddddd WE BACK!!! With all thats going on, my spring break was extended and gave me just enough time to start writing again. ITS BEEN MONTHS. Anyways, this idea popped in my head while I was on twitter so here it is. I picked Austin because I feel like if any of them was to be in a situation like this...it would be him. Or it could Edwin too. Idk lol. But tell me what yall think in the notes. Yall know I love feedback!

[horsegirl1h]

Only Thing Left

Summary: John goes to Van Horn stable to retrieve the one of the only other things he would have left of Arthur, his horse.

Warnings: Angst, Grieving

A huge thank you to the lovely @verai-marcel for taking a look and giving me some pointers!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks after the events at Beaver Hollow, John was laying low at Copperhead Landing. He couldn't help but think of the last moments Arthur spent with his horse on the mountain. Remembering him talking about his other horse he kept in the Van Horn stable, John decided that he had to see if his horse was still there, hoping the stable owner hadn't thought to sell him since his owner hadn't come in for a while. The day John was getting ready to head out, Abigail wasn't too keen on the idea.

"Have you lost your mind John? We just escaped all this mess. Don't be a fool and walk right back into it!" she hissed in a harsh whisper, trying to keep her voice down so as not to wake Jack.

John ran a hand over his face, frustrated. "Abigail, listen, this is something I have to do. Arthur saved me. You know how he was about his horses. I have to at least see if it's still there. He would do it for me." He lowered his voice at the last sentence and looked away, but not without Abigail noticing the mournful look on John's face. 

She came up to him and put her hand on his forearm. 

"I'm sorry. I just...I just got you back and I don't want to lose you again." Her voice quavered as she spoke.

John put a hand on Abigail's cheek and gave her a small smile. "You ain't gettin' rid of me that easy woman. I'll be back before you know it." He wiped a stray tear from her face before giving her a kiss in its place. 

Waiting until after nightfall, John said his goodbyes to Abigail and rode to Van Horn from Copperhead Landing, straying from the main roads as best he could. 

He tried to suppress the memories that plagued him all at once. He missed the way things were before they all went to shit. Hell, even when they were at Horseshoe Overlook, he didn't think things were terrible. He missed Old Boy. He missed Sean annoying the hell out of everyone, Hosea and his brilliant schemes. He missed the laughter of the gang after a score was successful and called for a celebration.

But he missed Arthur most. 

Coming upon the stable, he could see there were a few horses outside in the pen, but none he recognized to be Arthur's. Trying not to get his hopes up, he hitched his borrowed Walker to the post outside and collected himself before walking in.

Here goes nothing. 

The stable owner was towards the back of the barn, giving hay to the night’s residents. Appreciative nickers could be heard as John stopped just inside the doorway. 

"Excuse me, sir?" 

The owner turns to look at John, albeit weary of his rather late night arrival. 

"Can I help you?"

John clears his throat and replies, "I'm sorry to bother you so late but I'm looking for a horse that belonged to a friend of mine. He uh..recently passed." 

"Well what kind of horse is it? You got any papers?" 

"I believe it's a Foxtrotter. Champagne in color. And no, I don't have papers. The only thing I can tell you was the man who owned him was named Arthur Callahan." John sighed, his hope of finding the horse slowly vanishing. 

The owner hummed in thought, seeming to decide if this man's story was true or not. 

"I think I remember the name. And we rarely have any that color out this way except for a handful. He's out back, but I'll warn ya, he ain't been too kind."

John followed the man behind the stable to a separate pen from the one he saw earlier. When he actually saw the horse with his own eyes, he was surprised, to say the least. 

"Thats…that's the one. But why is he separated from the others? And to be honest, he don't look that great." John stood next to the fence, hands on his hips in slight annoyance for the horse not being taken care of. 

"That horse ain't been right in a few weeks. I ain't puttin' myself or no one else in danger ‘cause he wants to be a bastard to anyone that gets within ten feet of him."

John turned to look back at the stallion, shaking his head. The horse was standing against the back of the pen, ears almost flat on his neck with his head lowered to the ground. He was dirty, and he looked like he could use a few bales of hay. 

"I'll tell ya what, if you can get close to him and lead him outta here he's yours. I'm tired of dealing with him." The stable owner nodded towards the troublesome horse before stalking off into the barn.

Turning back to the horse, John slowly walked through the gate and shut it behind him. He walked the perimeter of the pen, the stallion watching him as he went. The closer John got, the more anxious the stallion became. Snorts of anger and stomping of hooves caused John to take a few steps back. The movements brought back the memory of the day Arthur brought the beast into camp. They hadn't been at Shady Belle but maybe a few days when Arthur had brought him in from a day’s ride, with only a rope for a makeshift bridle.

*****

"Where'd you find that beauty?" John chuckled as he walked up to the pair and watched the stallion snort and stomp as Arthur dismounted. 

"Found some bastard tryin' to put a bullet in him after he ran him so hard he threw him damn near 'cross the river." Arthur gave the stallion a few pats and fed him, trying to calm the beast's nerves. 

"Christ Arthur, these mean ones will kill you one of these days." John chuckled as he shook his head at the older man. 

Arthur put a hand on John's shoulder and smirked. "Maybe so Marston, but at least if he throws me in the river, I can swim out." 

John rolled his eyes and shook off Arthur's hand in mock offense. "Real funny, Morgan."

*****

The memory that flooded John caused him to chuckle out loud. He only wished Arthur were here now to guide him.

John calmed himself as he backed up against the fence and sat down to watch the stallion, and waited. He pulled a carrot out of his satchel and gently tossed it toward the horse, who gave a snort and tossed his head. 

Minutes turned into hours, and soon the early signs of dawn were approaching. John was beginning to think it was a lost cause until he noticed the stallions body language had changed. He had walked closer to John, ears pricked forward although still uncertain the human before him could be trusted.

John stood up slowly and held his hands out toward the horse to see if he would get closer to smell him. 

"Easy boy, it's just you and me now. I won't hurt ya. C'mon, you don't want to stay here with that mean ol’ man, do ya?"

Slow, careful steps toward the horse. Now that the sun was rising, John could see the horse more clearly and just how bad of shape he really was. His ribs were almost showing and layers of dirt kept the sheen of his once shiny coat hidden. His mane and tail had tangles from a lack of brushing.  

The horse stayed rooted where he was standing, and to John's surprise he let him walk up to him, although the horse watched him closely. He sniffed John's hand and nickered. John carefully reached into his satchel and pulled out his brush and began to groom the dirt away. He felt a tugging at his satchel and turned to watch the horse. He was trying to get as close to his satchel as possible and even turned in towards John trying to get closer.

"What is it boy?" John dropped his hand by his side and he swore he could see the flash of recognition on the horse's face and that's when it dawned on him. He had on Arthur's satchel. He realized the horse could still smell Arthur's scent and kept nudging the satchel. He nickered softly and turned back the way he was before, his ears now in a neutral position, with his head lowered. 

John walked around to the front of the horse and put his hands on either side. The stallion stepped closer and rested his forehead against John's chest. 

He couldn't help but look up at the sky and let a tear fall down his face. He realized that the horse possibly knew Arthur wasn't coming for him and maybe he was even grieving himself? 

John let out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes as the ache in his heart overcame him. The stallion nudged him gently, almost as if he was trying to offer comfort. For the first time since everything went to hell, since he'd lost his best friend and had the only family he'd ever known ripped apart, he wept. 

The two of them could start healing together, a fresh start in a new place, the memory of Arthur imprinted on them both forever. 

[beauzoleils]

ABIGAIL  COWEN ,  CISFEMALE ,  SHE / HER    →   according  to  the  school  records ,  NATALIE  LUCILLE  BEAUSOLEIL  has  been  attending  sacred  heart  for  the  past  three  years .  i  last  saw  them   hanging  around  the  john  bracken  library  ;  i  think  they  were  working  on  writing  her  novel .  at  twenty - one  years  old ,  natalie  has  been  studying  english  literature  and  get  this ,  i   heard  that  she’ll  zone  out  while  writing  papers  for  class  and  come  to  surrounded  by  pages  and  pages  full  of  archaic  languages  she  doesn’t  speak   —   figure  it’s  true ?  everyone  around  here  always  associates  them  with  a  moonlight  sonata  echoing  through  empty  halls ,  seats  in  the  back  row  at  the  opera ,  and  dead  flowers  pressed  between  the  pages  of  an  old  book .  in  the  time  since  these  strange  happenings ,  they  have  encountered  unexplained  occurrences .     

HI ,  hello .  i’m  hannah  n  this  is  like .  the  only  thing  i’ve  been  thinking  about  recently ,  aka  i’m  so  excited .  ok  anyway !  i’m  20 ,  kickin  it  in  the  est !  i’m  a  full  time  student  ( majoring  in  being  a  dumb  bitch  n  gay  rights  and  i’m  at  the  top  of  my  class  baby . . )  and  i’m  ALSO  a  preschool  teacher  so  if  i’m  ever  Not  here ,  i’m  with  my  babies  ! !  but  that  isn’t  the  reason  why  ur  all  here . .   ur  here  for  an  intro  post !  so !  

let’s  talk  abt  my  girl . . .  𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐋 !

okay .  so .  first  thing’s  first .  i  have  some  Real  Things  prepared  for  my  girl ,  including  but  not  limited  to :

a  pinterest  board !

a  stats  page !

and  what  i  call  NATALIE :  A  TRAGEDY  IN  THREE  ACTS .  it’s  kind  of  a  bio ,  mixed  in  with  some  stage  directions  here  and  there .  it’s  a  quick  read  n  rly  gives  you  that  Natalie  Flavor  if  you  know  what  i  mean . .  so  if  you  feel  so  inclined  n  wanna  take  a  look . .  but  full  disclosure  it  rly  does  hit  different  than  just  reading  this  intro 

anyway !  i’ll  give  a  more  condensed  version  of  her  bio  here  n  some  info  abt  her  personality  n  some  random  headcanons . .  etc !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈 :  𝑨 𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀

alright  SO .  our  girl  natalie  was  born  on  april  13 ,  1952  to  michel  and  colette  beausoleil .  it  was  a  thursday ,  and  it  was  ALSO  eleven  weeks  before  colette’s  due  date ,  so  we  all  know  that  can’t  be  good 

( spoiler  alert :  it  wasn’t )

natalie  was  supposed  to  be  a  twin ,  but  the  other  baby  ( a  boy  named  pierre )  didn’t  survive .  they  didn’t  think  that  natalie  would ,  but  she did !  unfortunately ,  her  parents  were  too  wounded  by  the  loss  of  their  other  baby  and  it  was  all grieving  and  no  celebrating .  

also .  there’s  more  info  abt  her  parents  n  how  they  met  in  the  bio  but ,  a  sparknotes  version  is  that  michel  was  a  playwright  in  paris  and  colette  was  a  ballerina / his  muse  and  they  rushed  into  a  marriage 

michel  made  it  rly  big  a  couple  yrs  after  natalie  was  born  and  so  they  decided  to  use  that  $ $ $  to  send  natalie  away  to  an  expensive  boarding  school  in  london  called  our  lady  of  sacred  suffering .  it  was ,  of  course ,  a  catholic  girls  boarding  school  and  natalie  hated  it  there

but  they  hated  natalie  there  bc  she  was  just  the  WORST  catholic  school  girl  of  all  time ,  so  it  was  mutual

meanwhile ,  her  relationship  w  her  parents  is . .  very  complicated .  her  dad  is  just  kind  of  The  Worst  across  the  board ,  very  reliant  on  drinking ,  definitely  got  into  drug  use  at  some  point ,  had  lots  of  affairs  with  the  young  actresses  in  his  plays .  and  colette  was  just . .  very  sad  and  very  absent  so  the  support  was  Minimal

natalie  has  a  lot  of  issues  that  are  all  rooted  in  her  childhood  tbh .

somewhere  along  the  way ,  she  found  a  deep  passion  for  Writing  and  developed  this  sense  of  purpose  and  for  a  minute  things  were  going  very  well 

which  we  all  know  means  things  are  about  to  get  WORSE . 

on  her  eighteenth  birthday ,  natalie  receieves  a  card  in  the  mail  from  her  mother  for  the  First  Time  Ever .  and  she  immediately  is  like .  huh .  well .  something  is  Wrong .

she’s  right .

( tw :  nondescript  mentions  of  car  crashes  &  death )

a  week  later ,  she  receives  word  that  her  parents  were  involved  in  a  serious  car  accident  at  the  pont  de  l’alma  tunnel  in  paris  and  her  did  not  survive  the  accident .

( end  tw )

her  mother’s  family  is  not  convinced  that  michel  should  walk  away  from  this  without  blame  and  decides  to  take  legal  action  against  him  and  get  him  convicted  with  a  more  serious  charge  than  just  manslaughter . 

they  promise  to  keep  natalie  out  of  it  as  much  as  possible  but  when  it  comes  time  to  testify  as  to  whether  or  not  michel  had  a  history  of  not  caring  about  colette’s  life  and  well - being ,  the  only  one  who  can  speak  to  it  is  natalie .

so  she  testifies  and  it’s  her  testimony  that  is  the  metaphorical  nail  in  the  coffin .  

( tw :  suicide  mention )

michel  knows  it ,  too .  that’s  what  natalie  thinks .  he  turns  up  dead  in  his  jail  cell  the  day  before  he’s  supposed  to  be  sentenced .  she  never  knows  if  he  deserved  the  life  sentence  he  was  going  to  be  given .

( end  tw ) 

so  then !  she’s  an  orphan !  but  she  does  gain  control  over  everything  that  her  parents  left  behind ,  which  turns  out  to  be  a  lot .  

she  sells  their  house  in  paris ,  goes  to  wales  to  begin  university ,  and  hasn’t  gone  back  since  then .  but  like ,  she  grew  up  in  london  for  the  most  part  so  she’s  not  exactly  sad  about  being  away  from  paris  and  all  the  ghosts  there .

and  now  she’s  at  sacred  heart ,  working  on  writing  her  debut  novel ,  which  is  the  ( albeit ,  dramatized  and  fictionalized )  story  of  her  parents !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈 :  𝑨  𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨����𝒀 .

so  basically ,  she’s  got  issues .

fictional  character  inspo  includes :  jo  march ,  alaska  young ,  cheryl  blossom

if  you  know  anything  abt  astrology . .  she’s  an  aries  sun ,  mercury ,  and  venus . .  and  a  scorpio  moon  and  mars . .  and  a  gemini  rising . .  i’m  so  sorry JKDSFM

she’s  very  emotional  but  does  a  super  good  job  of  hiding  it  and  keeping  all  those  emotions  ( esp  the  intense  n  darker  ones )  buried  away . .  deep  down  where  no  one  could  see  it

the  minute  that  ppl  kind  of  ? ?  but  two  and  two  together  n  realize  who  she  is  ( bc . .  in  my  head . .  her  dad’s  whole  trial  was  kind  of .  A  Thing  that  the  public  knew  abt . )  they’re  probably  rly  concerned  w  Little  she  shows  any  real  emotion  to  the  whole  thing . 

rly  she’s  just  the  queen  of  compartmentalizing  n  repressing !

she’s  very . .  Assertive .  like ,  when  she  wants  something  she’s  going  to  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  her  way  

very  Very  reckless .  she’s  like . .  so  fucking  impulsive  that  it  physically  Pains  me  sometimes .

she’s  very  smart  but  like .  More  So ,  she’s  very  clever  and  very  sharp  with  her  words .  a  very  fast  thinker  and  a  very  loud  talker 

someone  please . .  tell  her  to  stop  yelling .  she  needs  to  Relax . 

she’s  very  charming  i’ll  say  it .  n  like ?  seems  cool ?  the  kind  of  person  that  you  meet  and  immediately  want  to  hang  out  w  them .  

very  flirty ,  has  always  used  that  charming  smile  of  hers  to  get  ppl  in  her  corner  and  she’s  not  gonna  stop  now !  she’s  very  good  at  making  ppl  feel  special  

but  like .  she  means  well  most  of  the  time  sdkfj  her  heart  is  in  the  right  place  okay

big  time  trust  issues .  big  time  commitment  issues .  painfully  independent  and  refuses  to  let  anyone  know  how  much  she  cares  about  them  until  she’s  like . .  Really  sure  that  they  aren’t  going  to  hurt  her

also  very  afraid  of  hurting  people ,  which  is  another  reason  why  she  struggles  to  get  attached  to  people .  she  definitely  has  this  deep - rooted  fear  that  Bad  Things  follower  her  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  drag  ppl  into  that

it’s  literally  a  toss - up  as  to  whether  she’s  going  to  seem  like  she’s  demanding  ur  attention  or  entirely  disinterested  in  it .  bc  she’s  all  over  the  place . 

but  like .  i’m  an  emotional  BITCH  so  she’s  probably  going  to  end  up  being  100000%  softer  than  i  intend  bc  i  project  too  much  soft  bitch  energy  onto  my  characters  Always .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈𝐈 :  𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 .

so  many  things .  literally ,  anything .  just  a  disclaimer ,  if  u  read  thru  this  and  had  An  Idea  then  like .  yes  Pls  tell  me ,  i  want  it  xoxo 

but  here  are  some  i  have  up  in  the  old . .  noggin .

EXES .  please ,  please . .  for  the  love  of  GOD  give  me  some  angsty  exes  nonsense .  do  you  need  someone  who  broke  ur  characters  heart ?  consider  natalie  UR  GIRL .  she’s  Emotionally  Damaged  and  has  the  capacity  to  be  the  angstiest  ex  of  all  time ,  okay ?

give  her  a  weakness .  she  needs  someone  who  she’s  Actually  vulnerable  around  and  actually  sees  her  have  emotions  and  knows  she’s  not  just  this  huge  Mess  all  the  time

i  rly  want  someone  that  is  like .  from  the  same  ( ish )  bg  as  her  in  the  sense  that  like . .  they  also  were  surrounded  by  nice  clothes  n   expensive  private  schools  n  Luxury  but  like .  they  Thrive  in  it  the  way  natalie  used  to  wish  that  she  could .  n  just .  i  think  it  would  b  a  super  interesting  dynamic  bc  they  would  just !  clash !  so  intensely ! !  n  tbh  nat  would  probably  b  lowkey  jealous  Still  n .  spicy !

@ all  those  ppl  who  are  into  theatre :  i’m  Dying  for  some  connections  of  ppl  who  knew / knew  of  her  father  n  would  know  what  happened  w  him  perhaps  on  a  deeper  level  than  ppl  who  read  it  in  the  newspaper  a  few  yrs  ago . .  ( bonus  points  if  they  lowkey  idolized / looked  up  to  her  dad  bc  thats  a  Big  Mess  and  could  b  spicy  as  fuck  to  explore ,  u know ? ) 

idk  if  any  of  y’all  have  characters  who  grew  up  in / around  paris ?  but  if  there  are . .  then  Perhaps  someone  who  knew  her  in  her  youth ?

okay .  not  to  be  Trash  but  like .  i  rly  want  her  to  have  a  dynamic  that’s  jo  x  laurie  adjacent ?  do  they  have  to  be  in  love  w  her ?  no !  i  just  want someone  that  has  that  genuine  bond  w  her  and  they  care  abt  each  other  n  goof  around  n  like . .  i’m  already  getting  soft  on  main ,  huh , ,

she’s  soo  fucking  messy  that  like . .  all  the  messy  fwb / frenemies  with  benefits / one  night  stand  type  of  plots . .  yes  pls 

i  always  want  there  to  b  a  badass  girl  squad  like .  a  group  of  ladies  n  theydies  that  take  no  shit  n  get  in  fights  for  each  other  n  rly  truly  ride  or  die  w  each  other . .  we  can  workshop  the  name  ok  but  for  now ?  my  girl  squad  is  open  for  applications 

okay .  let  me  cut  myself  off  right  there  but  i’ll  leave  you  with  my  WANTED  CONNECTIONS  TAG  n  also  again  i’m 10000%  okay  to  just  brainstorm  out  something  else  completely  if  its  what  ur  feeling !

if  u  read  all / any  of  this . .  i  love  u . <3  either hmu on discord ( let's go 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓈 ! #6227 ) ksdjfskm  OR !  like  this  n  i  will  come  to  u !  okay ,  that’s  all ,  bye 

[cnc-hoebayb]

“This dress....but nothing under..”

Chris casually givin me mad thirst after that video of dressing Bbg Joyce

So here’s something based on that part where he picked the sheer dress at first and was being a headass saying to wear it with nothing under

.

The summer heat of the day had left a rush of laziness flow through your body. You felt heavy and tired as you sprawled out across the cold sheets of your bed, wanting to just lay and rest of the day. But of course, there were events that needed to be attended to, leaving you forced to actually get dressed and ready for the rest of the night.

Your clothes from earlier in the day were thrown across the floor, your light pjs the first thing you wanted to slap on as soon as you and Chris had gotten home from a long day at the Zoo. The heat and events of the day hadn’t gotten to him at all, he was up and full of energy, getting ready even earlier in advance than needed for the event tonight. You groaned at him from your bed and tossed around the surface.

“How are you able to get ready now??? It’s hot and icky and I’m so tired dude,” you finish as you bury your head in the cold pillow. “No sé, baby, i just got hit with an energy burst. I’m feeling damn good.” You hear his smile from his position by your closet as he picks his outfit he had planned out for awhile. The thought of deciding what to wear and getting ready made your mind reel and fill with a weird sense of dread. You sit up finally, facing Chris as he stands at your closet and an impulse idea comes out your mouth.

“Can you just pick what i should wear too while your at it?” He stops what he’s doing and stares at you in shock. You stare back just as confused and ask what’s wrong with only a look. “Are you serious?” He says like he can’t believe and you shrug simply and repeat yourself.

“Uh?? Yeah? Just pick something out for me, i feel too lazy and i trust you enough i guess.” He tosses his clothes to the side and his eyes dart across your section of the closet, you can see he’s weighing his options closely. “Just show me before you make up your mind,” you add on and start playing around on your phone, listening to Chris move around and grab pieces of clothing.

“Something like this??” He lifts up a hanger that had a pair of pretty black ripped jeans and shows it off as his first suggestion. You stare at them and contemplate for a second. “Hmmm, they are cute, but it’s way too hot for tight pants love.” He “oooh”’s curiously in response and gets back to rummaging the space.

You watch him with a little smile as he concentrates on the abundance of fabric in front of him, the way he analyzes each piece for a hot second before moving on. He picks up this time a bright colored bodysuit, tossing it on the bed confidently and you can’t deny you were a little impressed with the choice. He’s searching in the closet once more with intent, looking for a specific something he knows he wants to go with the bodysuit.

“Uhh” He hums to himself a little anxiously, not being able to find what he needed. “Bro where are those one pants of yours?” He says frantically and you laugh at his word choices. “Headass, which one of ‘those pants’ do you mean??” You question and wait for his awful yet accurate description.

“The ones that are flowy... and black,” he slows down but his hands are still moving fast through each hanger in your section. “Theyre kinda thin, have little gold patterns around the leg, hug your waist, make your butt look really good.” And for some reason it’s that sentence and you know suddenly exactly which pants he means.

“Aw baby, those pants are dirty, remember? You spilt your milkshake on us both the other night.” His expression changes drastically, all plans of the bomb fit he had were completely tossed out the window over a technicality. You try quickly to change his mood before he got too down. “But that was a really good one you had in mind. Would’ve been dope,” you point towards another section of the closet, “just choose somethin else- maybe the dresses in the corner over there. Easy .”

Knowing Chris, he could finesse a good look just from one dress. Maybe he’d flash it up with shoes, maybe a jacket or something over it, ice the hell out of it with some good accessories. Whatever it was, you trusted him. Nothing could be too bad with the dress options that you had.

He scans the items once again, examining even with his hand under his chin like he was deep in thought. He perks up suddenly, diving straight in for your jewelery and other accessories- just how you thought. The sound of metal clacking together fills your ears as you scroll through your phone mindlessly, feeling the drop of everything he picked out plop next to you on the bed.

“Aight done.” He tosses your pair of shoes next to you and you finally look up, eyeing all the little things he set out around you. Only thing was... no dress. “As much as i love all these pieces,” you start sarcastically, fiddling around with all the jewelery in your hands, “i think they’d match better with actual clothes, babe.”

He smiles as you finish your sentence and jumps as he realizes he didn’t set the dress out. “OH!” He turns around and grabs a hanger off the rack, hiding it behind his back for extra surprise effect. You nod your head with anticipation, signaling to him you were finally ready to see what he had picked. He whips the hanger out in front of him with a quick “This..”

He stops and you’re both quiet before you start to question, “wait ? With wha-“ “-BuT nothing under.” He interrupts and answers you with the end of his sentence. Your mouth is hung open, not sure if by confusion or a maybe a little shock. You laugh it off as a joke.

“Thats a good one, got me there.” He holds up the dress higher to see it better in all its glory and his face is serious. “I’m not joking dude.” He throws it over to you and you catch it. “Now get ready, perezosa.” You hold the dress in your hands and examine it closer. It was how you remembered it when you bought it. Short, above the knee, little white dress, beautiful lace patterns across the bottom and right around the bra line. The one thing you must’ve forgot??

The entire thing was completely sheer lace all the way around.

“Chris.” You call him and he looks up from buttoning his shirt cluelessly. “Qué?” You squint your eyes at him to see if he was playing dumb or not. “This dress is totally see through,” this time he looks at you the same exact way, peering down at you with a confused expression. “And??” You roll your eyes in protest.

“I cant wear this in public, that’s crazy I’d be literally naked.” You argue and you finally see the curtain fall from his prank as he holds in a tiny smirk to himself. The smirk grows bigger as you realize and express it with a quiet “ooooh nuh uh.” You throw your hoop earrings at him aggressively and scream “you dick, i totally believed you! !!” His cackle echoes in the room as he takes the hit of the earrings followed by about 6 rings immediately after.

“I just wanted to see if it’d work,” he shrugs and playfully throws a ring back at you, walking back to the closet to pick something real this time. “Not gonna lie, it’s kinda good. Just not for a public event.” You admit and play with the fabric in your hands. His back is turned to you unknowingly as you stand up and remove your clothes. You throw on the dress over your bra and underwear that definitely did not match, and gaze at the mirror to see how even just this looked.

Not bad. All your intimate bits were covered; which was good, but for sure still showed off all you had to offer. “I kinda like it,” you think out loud and Chris turns around to see what you’re talking about. He stops dead in his tracks as he’s face to face with his outfit creation almost at its full capacity. His cheeks flush red and he’s a little flustered. “I d-didnt think you’d actually.. i mean it’s not completely- but it’s still.. you look really good wow.” He stutters and your confidence levels rise and your heart feels loved.

He creeps his way over to you slowly, pulling your bodies together in the last few inches by tugging the loose bottom of your dress. His hand rests on the curve of your back and he’s so close he has to look all the way down at you to meet your glance. Your body shakes from the intimacy of his look, the feel of his hand and body so close to yours. Even though you were technically clothed, the ultra thin layer between you still made everything more sensitive.

He lifts your chin with his finger and you feel his hit breath as he leans in to whisper in your ear. “Not too late to change your mind about nothing underneath..” You swear you almost moan out loud for just that, but you swallow hard as he catches you off guard, walking you backwards to the foot of the bed. Your butt hits the edge and you take no time to lean back onto the surface, Chris pressing himself over you, spreading your legs with skill so one is already hugging his waist tightly.

“Chris,” you whimper out as he paints you with by far the hottest neck kisses you’ve ever had. “Do we have time?” He grinds his hips into you as part of his response, showing you how eager and ready he was. His hand glides with ease underneath your dress, running against your skin like silk. His tongue slips against your own as he pulls away for a second, licking his lips slowly and heavily as he looked at you with dark glossed over eyes. “Of course we have time. Look how much easier it is to undress you....”

[alive-and-afraid]

AHWM All endings!!

WARNING SPOILERS FOR A HEIST WITH MARKIPLIER!!!

And you said it would take a week to get through all the endings!!! HA!! One day baby!! also I REMEMBER THE JOKE MARK!!!

  A Heist with Markiplier 1.Guns Blazing, Car, Try to fix, I don't trust strangers. Stupid, you didn't run off with the guy who couldn't not be your newfound crush, so in turn....you were crushed....poetic is it not? Ending 1: Clever Girl. 2.Guns Blazing, Car, Try to fix, An adventure sounds lovely,Don't give the statue. You looked into the monkeys eyes and went feral. Congratulations, you just killed the guy you undoubtebly fell in love with. Ending 2: Monkey see, Monkey kill. 3.Guns Blazing, Car, Try to fix, An adventure sounds lovely,Give the statue. You put the statue on the plinth and are both teleported to monkey heaven. When you get back Illinoi walks off suavely. Oh and you now have a third arm and the power to break a rock with a single sneeze. By the way don't feel too bad, everyone falls in love with him eventually.Ending 3 :A heavenly adventure. 4.Guns Blazing, Car, Walk to base,Tell the Truth. You turned into a Zombie...but hey you found some great friends that you wouldn't of found otherwise....Ending 4: Friends 4 Unlife. 5.Guns Blazing, Car, Walk to base, I'm Fine!, The Scientist,ABSOLUTELY NOT!! You escape Ro's plan but then turned to a zombie and ate your only friend in the wasteland...Mark...Ending 5:The coward's way out. 6.Guns Blazing, Car, Walk to base, I'm Fine!!, The scientist, For the Greater Good. Ro shoots the box and kills off all the alternet timelines leaving us just with the original. We get sent back to the front of the museum and don't remember what we were there for.....Ending 6:The End. 7.Guns Blazing, Car, Walk to base, I'm Fine!!, The Soldier, I'm Hiding Something. You show your bite to Ed, he appreciates you being truthful......doesn't stop him from shooting you in the face though....Ending 7:What did you expect? 8.Guns Blazing, Car, Walk to base, I'm Fine!!, The Soldier,Ed's Hiding Something, Tuna. That tuna sandwich ended up having the cure to zombification in it..who would've thought it...Because you were now immunized you were eventually able to meet up with some scientists and craft a cure. The world goes back to normal.Ending 8: The Cure. 9.Guns Blazing, Car, Walk to base, I'm Fine!!, The Soldier,Ed's Hiding Something,PB&J. The PB&J sandwich made your zombie form a lot less agressive, and because you were after all still a zombie you could vouch for Mark to the other zombies, and since you weren't that aggressive Mark vouched for you to the humans. All the remaining survivors ended up forming a community, where you and Mark lived semi-happily ever after. Ending 9:Friends of the Dead 10.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Rally the prisoners, prison life for me. You shank someone so you can stay in prison for the rest of your life. Youse gonna fit right in. Ending 10: Life Sentence. 11.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Rally the prisoners, I want to be free,Thanks but no thanks. Its a dance off. By refusing Yancy's offer of assistence you offended him. He challenged you to a dance off...and won.....by alot...Ending 11:Dance to the Death 12.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Rally the prisoners, I want to be free,thanks and also yes please. You got out of jail with the help of Yancy..... don't forget visitations every third sunday...Ending 12:I want to be free 13.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Charm the Guards, Dig Dig Dig, Whats in the box. You open the box to find a real life,honest to god fairy....who won't shut up (it kind of reminds me of some other fairy who doesn't shut up...*cough* *cough* Navi) the fairy is so loud it alerts the guard who figures out you were trying to escape and locks you both in solitary........Ending 13: Shut up! 14.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Charm the guards, Whats that?, Oh HELL no!, Whats in the box? A fairy is in the box!! cause why the hell not!! The fairy is very loud and alerts the guards which gets you put in solitary...in a straight jacket. Ending 14:Be quiet! 15.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Charm the Guards, Dig Dig Dig, Stick to the plan, Open the box. You re-wind time to stop the bullets Bob has shot at you....you end up back at the start of the heist...before you've even gone in the museum...Ending 15: Time is on our side. 16.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Charm the guards, Whats that?, Oh HELL no!, Stick to the plan,Open the box. You open the box and it does some weird shit and you end up with WILFORD?!!? Apparantly for an interview?!......Oh wow this is really meta. Ending 16: The Interveiw. 17.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Charm the guards, dig dig dig, stick to the plan, Shoot Bob. You shoot Bob only to find that he was Wade, Mark leans down to hear Wade's final words...then Bob comes up behind him and pulls your mask off.......you look in the mirror only to find....you're Wade? Ending 17: It was me the whole time. 18.Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Charm the guards, Whats that?, Oh HELL no!, Stick to the plan, Shoot Wade. Wubba turns out to be Wade who betrays Mark but then is actually Bob?, who was saving Mark?! Bob is about to say something important but gets inturrupted by Wade firing his gun he tells you to "take off your mask, partner" and does it for you. When your mask is off he hands you a mirror and you see......you're actually Bob?! Ending 18: It was my joke. 19. Guns Blazing, Helicopter, Charm the Guards, What's that?, This seems safe. I mean it's an enigma for a reason right? No explanation for this one. Ending 19:The enigma of Happy trails penitentiary. 20.All Sneaky Like, Light Tunnel, Wait for rescue. I know everything. Mark got hit by an anchor last step so he's gone. "Oh" Pirate Mark says "you do do ya?!"Heheehehe" "Well for one so knowledgable ye ain't none to bright, you see I knew ya friend, oh yes I knew, your the type of person who wants to steal me treasure" "Oh, no one, no one , steals my treasure, ta ta!" We are now in the cannon.......we are now dead. Ending 20:I believe I can fly. 21.All Sneaky Like, Light tunnel, Wait for rescue, I know nothing, Golden Treasure.A man leads you to a cave with a pit, he  says to Arrghiplier (Pirate Mark) "Is there anything in this world that you value more than treasure?" Arrghiplier takes that to mean that he has to sacrifice you to get the treasure. Pirate Mark drops you in the pit to gain his gold. Ending 21: In the soulstone. 22.All Sneaky Like, Light tunnel, Wait for rescue,I know nothing,Treasured gold. You find the right treasure and stay with the pirates for the rest of your days.Ending 22:A pirates life for me. 23.All Sneaky Like, Light tunnel, Row home, Build a sign.You get captured by aliens and your memory is wiped. Ending 23: Not again... 24.All Sneaky Like, Light Tunnel, Row home, Find Shelter, Enter the Cave,You first. You think Mark is in trouble and try to save him by pressing a button on a contraption you pulled out of the box you stole from the museum....instead it calls an orbital lazar strike to your position...You, Mark and even SavagePat are all killed in the blast. Ending 24: Imma firin' my lazarrr! 25.All Sneaky Like, Light tunnel, Row home,Find a shelter, Enter the cave, Me first. We stay in the cave with SavagePat for the rest of our lives. Ending 25: Dont judge a book by it's human-skin cover. 26.All Sneaky Like, Light tunnel, Row home, Find a shelter, RUN AWAY. You run away from SavagePat and fall straight into the ocean...and then get eaten by a shark...Ending 26:Freash Meat 27. All Sneaky Like, Dark tunnel, split up at first opportunity. ADWM Mark gets eaten by a crocodile. Ending 27:When will you learn?  28. All Sneaky Like, Dark tunnel, split up on second choice to do so. ADWM Mark gets eaten by a weird worm thing and so do you.Ending 28: Are you serious? 29.All Sneaky like, Dark tunnel, Split up the fourth time you are given the option. ADWM Mark tells us to look after Chica then says "Goodbye my friend" and falls putting his hands into a love heart on the way down. Fire explodes when he hits the groung and the fire comes up to meet us, and we somehow get exploded into a field full of flowers. We walk onto a road and hear sirens and car horns. Ending 29:One last split up. 30.  All Sneaky Like, Dark tunnel, Don't split up ever. We end up back in the beginning waiting to meet Heist Mark. ADWM Mark says that he can't do this anymore and he's over it, he goes home to take a nap.Ending 30: Once more with feeling. 31. All Sneaky Like, Dark Tunnel, Split up on third option to do so. ADWM Mark disappeares and drops his flashlight. We somehow end up in this brick school-like hallway witha bunh of doors and a painting of the Chef with black lines where the eyes should be, on the wall, acommpanied by the sound of the Chef talking to us from WKM all around you. You get a text message from a unknown number: "Aren't you tired of it?" A potrait of the butler is next with the same blacked out eyes, and echoes of him talking to us from WKM. Text from the same number: "Don't you feel like you're running in circles?" Painting of Abe (the Detective). Echoes from WKM,or it could be from Wilford "Motherloving" Warfstache I suppose. Blacked out eyes, you get the deal. Text, same number: "No one seems to question it." Painting of the Colonel, blacked out eyes, and a pink mustache drawn on to it. Echoes of the Colonel from WKM. Text from same number: "But I thought you'd see through it." You go through the door at the end of the hall (I assume, it's another whip cut so you can't really tell.) there is a painting of  Pink robe Mark from WKM ( Is that one Asshole Mark?) With echoes of him talking from WKM. The painting starts crumbling and peeling.A Dark(?) laugh,  Dark(?) starts talking: " Same snake(?), different skin." "Always spinning yarns(?), his webs,-" View pans to someone in a white suit with his hair pulled to our right (his left). He is sorta grey like dark. (Dark has a new look?) it's him thats been talking. He is surrounded in red and blue and has eyeliner on. He continues; "-his lies." (glitch) "I alway thought that you were trapped (glitch) in his games, perpetually plunging (glitch) down a rabbit hole of stories(?), helpless, lost  (glitch) I know the feeling. Perhaps (glitch) I'm the crazy one." "Perhaps (glitch) we've met a hundred (glitch) times already, and you simply don't remember it." "Perhaps you were tired of me repeating myself over,( there are multiple of him now) and over again. and over and over AND OVER AGAIN!" (he's just full out glitching all over the place now.). We come to a white table with a wine glass on it. " Maybe you just missed my pretty face (glitch, and his eyes are red) (he stands up taller) it doesn't matter...people like you, you want one thing (big screamy glitch) and it's disgusting." (glitch) "You want answers?" ( he picks up the wine glass) "Well, games were always his.. (glitch) (he goes to take a drink) (glitch) (glitch)..forte."  (drink) "But allow me this one moment of self-indulgence." (he puts down the glass). We teleport to what seems to be an office. The is a certificate on the desk he is sitting on that has the word Warden on it. He is holding the box we stole from the museum. There is a small man on the bottom left of the screen. "So much trouble (he is looking at the box)...for something so small. ( he glitches into the office chair on the opposite side of the desk to us.) (he is almost smiling?) "Do you really want to know whats inside this box?" (he sets it down, it has weird gold flecks coming off it) "The truth not the lies he's told you...(glitch) but the truth." (glitch) "I know how much you- (glitch, he is laying on the desk now)  love a good game...so,through out this...heist I've hidden codes,"- (glitch. The words Ignorance is bliss, show up on the screen. And then a question mark shows up.)  "-so codes...find them all and you'll get your truth."(glitch,glitch,glitch) "but thats all I'm gonna give you." Camera zooms out. The certificate says: Warden of the X. We are back to the front of the museum. Ending 31: Ignorance is bliss.

[uriurijihoonie]

wedding booth │ l.jc

pairing: dino/chan x reader genre: fluff, high school!au word count: 2,166 warnings: none

A/N: the scenario actually happened (but altered some parts) lol that’s it and i’m still getting the hang of writing how I used to aaaahhhh can you please send your thoughts about my writing ):

Valentine’s Day; for some, it’s a day full of excitement and expectations, especially if you’re in a relationship. The dreading moment of waiting whether you’ll be surprised by a confession from your crush who also likes you, a date by your significant other or the most-awaited yes from someone the suitor pursues.

In your case, you’re neither of the three; you don’t have a suitor, much less a boyfriend, and your crush doesn’t have any interest to you at all.

But still, you’re hoping something worth remembering will happen to you for the rest of the day.

As you entered your designated building, different booths were set up in the lobby. There’s the photo booth, an open stage for people who wants to sing or dedicate a song, a mailbox booth and even a fancy marriage booth.

The college council went all out for this day, huh.

“Chill out, Y/N, we’ve got you, you’re getting married to Chan today,” your friend whispered in your ear as she draped an arm around your shoulder, to which she also removed as soon as you nudged her by your elbow.

“Don’t do it please, and if anyone hears you I swear,” You trailed off as you start to descend the stairs, “besides, he will be pissed if you do that to him.”

“Oh come on, he isn’t a killjoy, I know it.”

“Well, he doesn’t take any interest in me at all, besides it’s so random for me to be suddenly paired up with him; he’ll get clues,” You argued, walking through the hallways of your designated floor.

“That’s the point, Y/N,” you saw your friend roll her eyes at you, in which you flicked her in the forehead, “but that’s not what I intend to do, idiot.”

You entered your classroom and as cringe-y as it may be, your eyes automatically turned to where Chan was, and as if you’re being blessed today, it was a sight where he’s laughing real hard you can hear his melodious laugh ringing like soothing bells in your ears, making you smile automatically as you reached your seat, which is just right in front of him.

“Don’t intend for him to know, huh,” you can hear sarcasm in your friend’s voice as you reached for her to smack her, which she evaded with a laugh.

Classes soon started and everything about today is going well like what a normal day is like. Soon you were given ample time to go to the lobby and check out the booths, in which you easily dragged your friend to try out the photo booth.

As soon as you finished taking the shots you bought from the booth, screams and hoots were heard and soon, a crowd of people filled the other side of the lobby.

“Someone’s getting married,” said your friend. Curiously, you tried to make your way through the crowd, immediately smiling when you saw it was your two teachers who’ve been shipped by a lot of students were getting married at the booth.

“It’s Mr. Kim and Ms. Jung,” you grinned, snapping a few photos of your teachers who clearly have interest for each other.

What would it be like if Chan and I were—

You immediately stopped your train of thoughts as you move away from the crowd, shaking your head furiously as you remove any visualization from your head.

If you were to be completely honest, there’s a slim string of hope that your friend will really sign you and Chan up for the marriage booth, and who are you to fool yourself that you don’t want it to happen.

Even if it’s just fake, I’ll take it. Sheesh Y/N, you’re embarrassing.

Feeling heat rush through your cheeks and the unstoppable grin on your face, you shake off the feeling as you made your way back to your classroom, opting to read a novel you always bring with you.

Just as you turn the novel to its next chapter, one of your classmates entered your classroom, “Yah! Chan is getting married at the lobby!”

You felt as if an ice cold bucket of water is being dumped on you, your heart beating fast as you thought of your friend actually signing you up.

But that’s impossible, she’s with me all day and—

Looking back at her seat behind you, your friend is missing and just then, she barged into the room, shouting your name. “Y/N! Come with me, quick!”

There’s no time for you to escape and as soon as she dragged you down the stairs, your screams of protests were unheard as you were being led by your friend.

You saw the crowd being your classmates and you didn’t know if you should be glad you can hear their affirmative screams and hoots towards you, but their screams cannot beat the loud thumping of your heart as you can feel how it races fast.

“Ya! I told you not to do this!” You grumbled as you were dragged on the makeshift aisle, a flower crown with a veil being put into the top of your head.

“You’re welcome, Y/N,” she giggly handed you a bouquet of paper flowers and linked your arms, as if she’s your guardian for the ‘wedding.’

“C’mon Y/N, look at your ‘groom’,” she nudged your sides as your hands got sweaty, heart beating at its fastest rate, and if it’s still possible for it to get faster, your heart still accelerated as soon as your eyes met Chan’s, and seeing his eyes turn to crescents as he grin shyly and looked down to fix his suit (provided by the booth) made you smile, too.

At least it looks like he’s fine with this.

Your friend guided you as you walked through the aisle, and if it wasn’t for your arm gripping your friend’s, you would’ve cascaded on the floor as you feel your legs giving up.

As soon as you reached the makeshift altar where Chan is waiting, all noise seemed to drain out as you focus on this moment alone; Chan going to your side as he’s smiling shyly, faint hues of red painted his cheeks, but despite his own embarrassment, he still greeted you, “Hi, Y/N.”

As much as you wanted to greet him back, all you managed to do was to give him a shy smile of yours, averting your gaze to the person in charge of the ceremony in front of you.

“Good day, family and friends, we are all gathered today to witness...” all the sound drained out once again. This is really happening.

Your thoughts cut off when Chan nudged you, making you look at him, “Are you okay? You look kinda pale, Y/N.”

You wanted to utter a sentence this time but your malfunctioning self still got your tongue tied, that you only managed to give him a nod, which made him frown the slightest, “Are you bothered by this?Is it because of me?”

“No, no, I swear, no!” You blurted out, good thing the person in front of you is still not over with his spiels. You sighed, “I’m just... I’m sorry since you’re being dragged into this chaos.”

Chan laughed at your word choices, which made you smile too because did I just managed to make him laugh?

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Chan slightly faced your direction, still sporting that smile of his which you love so much, “Because I’m actually happy that it’s you.”

Before you could say something, his hand reached for your flower crown and fixed it in place. Giving you one of his smiles again, he turned back to the front, in time for the question from the person in front.

“Do you, Lee Chan, take Y/L/N Y/F/N, to be your wedded wife, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do you part?”

The person gestured for the ring that laid on the table. Looking down, you saw Chan taking one, as his other hand gestured for yours. Shaking, you held his palm, taking in just how soft his hands are and the gentleness of his hold on yours.

Leaning closer to the mic, you heard Chan say, “I do,” before he slipped in the ring on your ring finger.

The fast thumping on your heart returned. Taking deep breaths to compose yourself, you focused on looking at the ring left as you heard the person say his question,  “Do you, Y/L/N, take Lee Chan, to be your wedded husband, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do you part?”

You can see your hands trembling as you take the ring, and you lost count how much you’ve been breathing deeply. But when you look at Chan, who’s smiling at you, everything felt at ease. 

This was definitely a moment to remember.

Leaning into the mic, you said, “I do” as it’s now your turn to slip the ring in his finger.

Afterwards, the cheers you drowned out became louder once more, and as the person in front finally said the words “you may now kiss the bride,” all the nervousness and trembling came in to you all at once, and tripled when Chan carefully lifted the veil covering your face.

“Ya, what do you think you’re doing?” All your reservations for Chan escaped you when he finally lifted the veil off, but he just smiled at you. “Just trust me.”

With wide eyes, he carefully tucked some loose strands of your hair behind your ear. Is he serious? What the heck is he really serious about--

It was all cut off when he gently pulled you close to him by your arms and engulfed you in the warmest of hugs.

Taking this as an opportunity, you hugged him back, the grin forming on your face becoming wide as ever. Hoping he wouldn’t feel it, you snuggled in his chest for the tiniest bit before letting go.

Signing your supposed “marriage certificates,” you were then led into the photo booth for remembrance of your “marriage.” You didn’t know how it went but you’re sure you’re giving the most flustered look you can give. After giving you your claim stubs for the photo, Chan was about to approach you...

but then you felt the continuous vibration of your phone close to your head.

Opening your eyes, you glanced around to your surroundings. I slept at the library? You wondered. Sitting up, you reached for your phone, and all the continuous vibrations were made by the messages and missed calls from your worried boyfriend.

Opening his recent message which contained “Please tell me that you just fell asleep in the library again, baby. I’m worried,” you sighed guiltily.

You were about to reply when a familiar figure sat in front of you, and a sheepish smile went on your face as you saw Chan’s pouting face, “You could at least text me that you’re in the library.”

“I’m sorry, Channie,” you gave him one of your pouts too, as you reached for his hand across the table. “I was planning to send you a text but I got engrossed into reading.”

Ah, really,” he sighed exasperatedly, but then gave you a relieved smile as he brushed his thumb on your knuckles, “Just don’t make me worry again, baby.”

“Of course, baby. I love you,” you cooed, taking your intertwined hands close to your cheeks, but yelped when both the cold band around your fingers came into contact with your skin.

Looking at your hands, you laughed at how you’re still wearing the silver rings you got from your high school’s marriage booth three years ago, and how you just dreamed of it a while ago, “You’re still wearing this?”

“Of course, I tell the girls who try to flirt with me that I’m married-- hey! What’s wrong?!” Chan laughed as he avoided the crumpled paper you threw at him.

After you both calmed down,  you intertwined your hands once again, brushing your thumb on the cold metal band. “Tell you what, I dreamed of our wedding on that booth three years ago...”

Clearly, it was how your relationship started and bloomed. You didn’t forget how Chan also confessed to you that he likes you when he overheard you and your friend talking, and how you thought of escaping as soon as you knew he was listening, but you were glad he caught up to you..

“Someday, Y/N, maybe in another three or four year’s time...” Chan mumbled, making you hum. “What is it?”

“I’ll change these rings into real ones.” Your smile faltered for a bit, seeing how the glint in Chan’s eyes are nothing but seriousness and something you’re really grown to seeing; love.

“You’ll... say yes, right?” His eyes now hinted that of fear and nervousness. You wanted to take those emotions away from him.

And seeing how you smiled and squeezed his hand, Chan never felt more reassured than before.

[pirate-kid2k19-blog]

Opinions on things that might make people mad

Hunt pedos and rapists and murderers, not poor innocent animals, its a lot more fun. And it shouldnt be illegal because in my opinion those people have done things that are punishable by death.

Yall who say meat and dairy industries arent that bad are wild just do some goddamn research before you get mad at me for stating facts 👀

It should be illegal to have weapons anywhere near schools (unless you are a cop and are required to have them, but you should be very careful and guard them to keep them away from students AND TEACHERS at all times). I figured by now people wouldve learned how kids who are gonna shoot up a school or have weapons act before they use them, and those are the people who need to be checked and talked to. Having clear bookbags is not a good option because some people have comfort items theyll get picked on for and people who start their period early get picked on (i know from experience, trust me).

The voting age should be 16. People can form full thoughts by the age of 16. Enough said.

Thenwarning on cigarette boxes shoukd be bigger and more noticeable on the box, and you should be warned before buying them. So many people die from smoking, and 2 people in my house smoke, one of which as already had cancer and refuses to quit, and the other is too fucking stupid to realize he should quit if he doesnt want to end up like the other.

people should not be "cancelled" just because they said something was bad. They should be cancelled if they are a rapist, murderer, pedophile, etc.

ALSO the first one is half joking half not. I believe those people should be sentenced to death by law if and when they are caught but thats not always the case and that pisses me off

Add on number 1:

Hey just a reminder that when animals get harmed or slaughtered they do not understand why it is happening and they did nothing to deserve it but they dont reslize that. So yeah.

Dont be rude to people just because they dont eat like you do. Some people have to be vegan or vegetarian for health issues. And some people cant go vegan or vegetarian for health issues. Not everyone can be one way.

Dont be rude to people because they dont believe what you believe, unless their belief is IN ANY WAY harmful. Everyone has the right to believe what they want.

Add on number 2:

Scene kids and emo kids arent cringey, you guys are all just cowards.

You dont need dysphoria to be trans but taking a random object and somehow calling it a gender is really fucking weird and i have NO FUCKING CLUE how people turned autism into a gender but its disgusting to me im sorry. Though i am open to learn about this some more, so if you want to teach me about this stuff feel free to message me or send me an ask.

Otherkin isnt cringey or a mental disorder, its just people being people.

Shady jeff was only good whenever he sung in hu songs (literally once in scene for dummies and pretty much just background vocals) but everything else about him fucking sucks

NOT AN OPINION LITERALLY A FACT THAT 40 YEAR OLD WHITE SUBURBAN MOMS NAMED KAREN CANT ACCEPT: CHILDREN NEED TO BE VACCINATED!!!

Furries that dont harm anyone and dont fuck animals are not cringey.

Idc if you live in the most redneck area out there: being up at 5am blasting country music from your truck and playing beer pong when you have neighbors that are trying to sleep is extremely disrespectful. Same goes for roommates who play video games real loud at 3am. Its disrespectful to the people who are just trying ro sleep. This ones more so a rant abt my personal life and whats happened since moving to georgia.

WOMEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED ABORTIONS IF:

-having the child will kill them or the child, they cannot financially afford to take car eof the child, they were raped, its an inbred baby (this could give it a deformity that could hinder its life, but if it doesnt get to live to begin with then it wont have to suffer), the mother cannot take care od the child for whatever reason.

WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED ABORTIONS IF:

-she just wants to have a kid to abuse it in any way for any reason

TEACHERS SHOUKD DO MORE THAN JUST SEND A KID TO THE OFFICE TO SIT FOR AN HOUR BC THEY HIT A KID EVEN IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. THE ONE WHO THREW THE FIRST PUNCH NEEDS TO BE SENT HOME AND DEALT WITH BY THEIR PARENTS. IF THE KID ACTED IN SELF DEFENSE AND NO ONE NEARBY (WHETHER ITS A TEACHER, THE BUS DRIVER, OR ANOTHER STUDENT) WOULD HELP THEM, THEY SHOULD NOT BE PUNISHED.

I DO NOT CARE IF YOU DISAGREE WITH THE FACT THAT IM VEGAN. I HAVE REASONS WHY I AM, AND YOU HAVE REASONS WHY YOURE NOT. HOWEVER!!! IF YOUR REASONING IS JUST THAT WE WERE "MADE TO EAT MEAT", AND YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO AT LEAST TRY AND UNDERSTAND BOTH SIDES OF THE ARGUEMENT, DO YOUR RESEARCH!!

In ANY arguement, understand all sides first! Especially whatever side you take! It makes it s lot easier and keeps you from looking like a fucking idiot when you know what youre talking about and dont just use the same 1-3 points over and over.

Healthy food shouldnt cost so much just because its not junk food. A lot of people buy junk food because they cant afford to eat healthy.

Will add more as time goes on

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[sept-dix]

high school au! ong  seongwoo

summary: ong is the president of your school’s drama club genre: fluff a/n: please tell me what you think!!! and thank you for reading heh

ong is super popular in your school like almost everyone knows him 

and being the president of your school’s drama club is only part of the reason why

he’s very well known for being very warm and welcoming to everyone without bias, and he never fails to bring up the mood and make people laugh

unlike the other popular kids, it’s obvious that ong is actually genuinely nice and that he sincerely likes the people around him so it’s amazing

anyways so about the drama club

you decided to join the drama club this year because you used to dabble in theatre a while back, and your school’s drama club was known for being really bonded and fun

and you thought it would be fun to join even if just for the experience

during your first few sessions with the club, you already knew that you had made the right choice because everyone was being super friendly and welcoming towards you 

true to the stereotype, everyone was extremely loud and energetic all the time and you loved the atmosphere so much

the first time you got properly introduced to ong was at the end of the first session

usually theatre kids do this thing at the end of each rehearsal/session where they sit together and kind of just talk as a form of debrief

it didn’t necessarily have to be related to the day of rehearsal, it could be about anything anyone had in mind

just because shows are usually a lot better when the cast members themselves have good synergy offstage

so during that debrief session on the first day, ong introduced himself as the president to those of you newcomers 

you had a good impression of him right away because he seemed so nice and he made it clear that anyone could approach him about any problem at any time and he would be there to talk to you about it

and you were like damn. thats nice

anyways club dinners were when you got the chance to actually become close to him

usually when rehearsals ended it was already super late and yall were starving + dinners together as a club is a good way to bond

it just so happened that for the first dinner both of you ended up sitting next to each other 

and damn. you guys hit it off right away

like ong was thinking who is this person who makes so many lame jokes

and you were thinking why is this boy always tryna get attention (you could relate)

when both of you simultaneously dipped your fries into your ice cream it was decided for real

“aren’t we soulmates??1?!”

“yup. no other explanation”

that’s how it all started. from then on you guys just got closer and closer

even on days when you guys weren’t having club dinners both of you would go out on your own for dinner or snacks

for warmups and stuff if y’all were trying out some whacky new activity (as theatre kids do) then ong would call you up to come and demonstrate it with him to the rest of the club

sometimes he would ask you about his president stuff like 

“y/n, do you think our club would appreciate getting matching socks

“should i ask the school to paint our room a darker shade of black or is this shade of black good enough” (because drama rooms are all black on the inside in case you’re confused dksjds)

weird stuff like that and he could always trust you to be as excited as him about this kinda stuff

soon your friendship extended to even outside of club activities

like one day you’re just walking through the school library trying to get a spot to study when you hear whisper screams directed at you

and you turn and see ong frantically gesturing at you to go to him

“are you good at history”

“uh... idk i guess”

“plS HELP!!! i have a test tmr and i know nothing”

so you end up tutoring him all afternoon and in return he tries to teach you math

you guys go out for ice cream later and challenge each other to who can eat theirs the fastest

you two are dying of brainfreeze and laughter by the end of it but it’s fun

in fact everything’s fun when it’s the two of you because as corny as it sounds you guys literally complete each other’s sentences

like he knows the punchline to your joke before you even finish it

so this means that soon enough you guys are doing everything together

 like a new movie comes out? you’re already thinking about when ong is free to go watch bc you know he’ll have the same reactions as you to the movie

ong is dying in a class and needs some rescue? you’re the one he calls to somehow get him out of it bc he knows you would support him skipping class 

tbh ong has a lot of commitments as the president of the drama club but he somehow always makes time for you

now and then you hear people talking about you like “isn’t y/n the person ong is always with nowadays?” but usually people don’t say bad things about you guys because remember everybody loves ong

soon enough, as how it always is when two people spend lots of time with each other and have great chemistry, people start suspecting that you two are together

like even your other best friends are like “y/n is there something you’re not telling us about this ong guy”

and it cracks you up bc wtf ong is a total BRO

but suddenly rumours start flying around school that you two are a thing and soon it grows from a speculation to like a thing.

you and ong being a thing is a thing now. people start assuming you’re together and sometimes they just treat you like a couple

you just ignore it but there’s this one time

your club is having a script reading for an upcoming show

(just an initial script reading with no fixed cast members yet)

the entire play is centred around a couple

ong gets assigned to read the parts of the male lead by the instructor bc lbr as a president he is one of the best actors there

then the instructor goes “hmm... for the female lead, perhaps... y/n?”

and you’re like wow ok well sure

ofc the script has you and ong say some romancey lovey dovey things to each other bc duh you’re acting as a couple

but after the whole reading is done the instructor goes “wow seongwoo and y/n you guys have good chemistry!” 

and cue the teasing from the rest of your club for the rest of the night

that day you guys go out for a club dinner and everyone else just spends the whole time teasing you two

before you could say anything one of them tells ong “dude if you guys are together you should just come clean and tell us!!!!” and everyone starts pressuring you two to just tell them that they’re right

in your mind you’re thinking why isn’t ong replying to them and you look at him

and he just looks at you and kinda laughs it off

without being outright and saying that you guys were just friends

and suddenly you have a weird feeling in your tummy and you’re thinking wtf why don’t i wanna tell them the truth either

why do u think u fool

but you, my friend, are someone who is very in touch with their emotions. you do none of this denying your feelings bs that others do

so from that moment of hesitation, you knew. 

and you admitted it to yourself right away that ong is more than just a friend to you

you didn’t know when or how it happened, but it had happened. 

but after that things got a little awkward for you because you didn’t know how to handle the rumours anymore

like once you accepted your feelings your crush on ong became a full fledged one and the fact that ong wasn’t denying the rumours either was making you feel skdjfksdjfs

spending time with him now also became more complicated because suddenly you were aware of everything he was doing and saying and there was this layer of tension to you guys 

not a bad type of tension though, and maybe only you could feel it, but it was making things less fun

and you being the fun lover you were hated that

one day you and ong had just ended a study session and were heading home

you two lived pretty close together so you walked the same route home

there’s a swingset at a playground in that neighbourhood and sometimes you two swing there on the way home

just for fun

so that day was no different

ong was like “hey you wanna go on the swings”

and you’re like yeah ofc and you two start swinging

the thing is, usually you two are super loud and excited like kids and you usually make bets on like who can swing higher or who can swing the longest standing up

but today you guys were just kinda swinging slowly and there was an unusual silence between you two

when you turned to look at ong he was already looking at you, but he seemed like he was deep in thought

and in that moment you decided to just woman up and clean up the mess

“ong, why don’t you ever straight up tell others the truth about us?”

and he just looks at you a little surprised

and you’re like “what?”

and after a few seconds he’s like “are you kidding me? you really don’t know?”

he looks lowkey offended and you’re super confused

(why are you so dense smh)

you just shake you head slowly and go “what are you talking about is there something i should know”

and he just kinda looks at you in disbelief for a second before looking down at his lap

“because i want them to be true”

he’s kinda mumbling and you’re not sure you heard right so you’re like “im sorry what”

your heart is beating super duper fast 

and he looks up at you with this expression on his face

“i know this is kind of a weird way to confess, i was going to do it some other way but i guess since you’re asking... i never refuted the rumours because i wanted them to be true”

and you’re like oh my lord wtf is this real

you: “oh... well... to be honest,, me too”

now it’s your turn to shyly look at your lap

shame you did that because now you missed the smile that blossomed on ong’s face hearing that

“so you’ll go out with me?”

and you can’t muster up any of your usual confidence at that moment just because of the look on ong’s face that’s full of adoration and hope

so you just shyly nod

and that was that. the rest is history

many years later you guys would fondly look back at the old rusty swingset at the tiny playground near your houses as the place where you two shared an awkward confession and a sweet first kiss

[theshipden]

Experimenting With A Demon

Dipper never really considered he’d be in this position, flustered and cornered by the infamous dream demon that had caused him endless trouble and mayhem. Bill Cipher seemed to know no personal space boundaries, and if he did, he didn’t care. At first, it was annoying and irritated Dipper to no end, but after he had hung out with him it made his heart flutter and would cause him to freeze and tense up, whenever Bill would move away he found himself disappoint. Which is why he was so conflicted in this moment, he had been enjoying himself since Mabel had went over to one of her friends’ houses for the night and that meant Dipper could read any book he wanted or speak out loud about his theories and leads about the author, when Bill decided to drop in. Dipper was so entranced by his book that, at first, he didn’t seem to notice the floating blonde in front of him. It was when the book once held so close to his face was replaced by a face that got him to realize he wasn’t alone anymore, he yelped and tried to put distance between him and the too-close-triangle but found that the headboard wasn’t allowing him any wiggle room. “Pinetree, its rude to ignore your guests like that!” Came the high-pitched voice of Bill, a grin blossoming on his features as Dipper’s face began to light up in embarrassment at how close they were. Bill wasn’t floating anymore, instead he was on hands and knees, stationed between his legs while those lanky arms were on either side of his torso. He was utterly pinned and bothered, and at Bill’s mercy. “You aren’t my guest, you invited yourself here!” Dipper retorted, his eye trained on the one eye that seemed to pierce him like a knife. At this angle, he could feel the tickle of breath from the blonde dust his face as he pushed his head as far back as it would allow. He hated to admit it but he had grown close with Bill and found himself coxing more secrets from the demon, maybe he could get some more knowledge from the demon today. “But since you are here, why don’t you help me out?” This seemed to get Bill’s attention as he perked up and moved back only an inch, his grin never faulting as he looked into, what felt like, the boy’s soul. “What kind of help do you need, Pinetree?” He cocked his head to the side, gaze never leaving Dipper’s as he awaited a response, he seemed more playful today then he usually was. That couldn’t mean anything good for Dipper so he braced himself to whatever was to come, maybe asking Bill for help wasn’t the best idea. “I was hoping you would help me figure out some of these codes I found in the journal,” he grabbed the sheets of crinkled paper beside him, he wouldn’t let Bill actually get a hold of the journal and knew Bill wouldn’t blatantly tell him what he wanted to know. Bill always answered him in riddles or code, sometimes even answered his question with more questions, never just flat out telling him what he wanted to know. He’d only do that if he made a deal and he knew better then to do that. He handed the papers over to said demon and breathed a sigh in relief as the demon backed off to look at the papers. The blonde’s grin turned into a knowing smile, a chuckle forming low in his throat and voiced itself as he read what contents was tattooed into the paper, he knew these codes because he wrote them himself in the journals, but his little Pinetree didn’t know that. The chuckle gave Dipper hope but also startled him a bit, whatever those codes were, Bill seemed to be getting a real kick out of them and that couldn’t mean anything good. “Tell ya what, kid! Since I’m in a rather playful mood, I’ll tell you what these codes say but in exchange I would like something in return. Nothing big, just a small little thing.” He put the papers down, staring at Dipper like he was his prey, his smile looking a tiny bit sinister. Dipper gulped, mind swirling to all the things Bill could want, his soul? His organs, his brain, his family, maybe he wanted to rearrange his limbs, or maybe he wants a chance to steal the journal. “What would that be, exactly?” He almost squeaked when Bill was in his face again, his pupil twinkling in mischief as his eyes travelled down from those bright doe eyes to the brunette’s lips before they returned to where they once were. “These are an awful lot of codes, so for each once, I’d like a simple kiss for my knowledge.” He almost laughed seeing Dipper’s face flare up as the boy turned red, messing with him was by far his favorite activity and he knew that Dipper did have an infatuation with him just as Ford had once had. But Dipper’s was far more on the crushing side then the obsession Ford had, it was so adorable to see how Bill could twist this and make it bloom to something more, and he had every intention to do so. Dipper was just too easy to trick and manipulate, once you got around his trust barrier he seemed to always have up, he was an easy target. “Wai- a kiss!?! Why-why would you want a kiss? Wouldn’t you prefer my soul or something!?” He exclaimed frantically, eyes wide as he looked at the blonde in pure shock at what he just heard, heart pounding in his ears he was surprised Bill hadn’t heard it himself. “Nope! All I ask for is a kiss for each code, and I want a kiss for my own personal reasons!” Bill smoothly replied, his hand taking ahold of Dipper’s chin by his thumb and pointer finger, bringing their faces even closer. “Or, you can refuse and just remain in the dark.” He lingered there for only a moment longer before he moved away and sat completely opposite to where he once was, it looked as if Bill had never even been that close in the first place. Dipper felt his breath stop, that feeling of disappointment coming over him again as he watched Bill, he wanted something else to happen, something more. But at the same time he wasn’t so sure what it is that he wanted from Bill or what he wanted Bill to do. Maybe he could use this as an experiment to see what it was that Dipper craved from the demon so much, so he nodded his approval and with a snap of Bill’s fingers the papers were back in his hand, his eye scanning over one of them once before reciting what the message had read. Once he was done, he looked at Dipper expectantly and waited, it fully dawned on him that Bill wouldn’t be igniting any of the moves this time and Dipper would have to do it himself, which only made him more flustered. He scooted over to where Bill waited, timid and shy, he rubbed his arm before leaning over and planting a small, quick, smooch to the other’s cheek and backed off. Bill thought that the shy attempt was cute but not what he wanted, he knew better then to push his luck so he settled for what he could get and moved onto the next code, stopped before continuing on for his ‘payment’ and then repeated. On the last paper, when he spoke the hidden message and watched as Dipper leaned back towards him to press a chaste kiss to his cheek, he turned his head the last minute to capture the boy’s lips in his own. Dipper, who had managed to calm down over the repeating action, moved back as quick as lightening with a hand clamped over his mouth and his cheeks tinting bright pink. The blonde, had a smirk on his face and was looking as smug as ever as he ate up the brunette’s reactions. “Wh-What was that!?” Dipper squeaked, his words a little muffled by his own hand around his mouth. Bill simply chuckled, waving his hand as if dismissing what had just happened. “A kiss, kid. Got any other codes for me or are we done here?” Bill crossed his arms and stared, drinking up how squeamish the boy was under his powerful gaze, it made him feel like he had Dipper completely under his will and influence. Though, Dipper was too flustered to speak a reply, he shook his head as a no and hoped that was enough for the dream demon as an answer. Which, appeared that it was and Bill stood up, ready to announce his departure when Dipper stopped him by grabbing and tugging on Bill’s tailcoat. “W-Wait!” Bill stopped and turned to look at the small boy, eyebrow raised in question but there wasn’t mistaking the devilish grin appearing on his features as he cocked his head to the side in confusion, prompting Dipper to explain his actions. “I-um, I thought that maybe you could uh, stay? And teach me how to read the c-codes or something.” His voice trailed off as he continued talking, releasing the fabric he held in his grasp. “Sure, I’ll stay a little bit longer but I can’t promise I’ll teach you the codes, can’t have you getting too smart now can I? What need would you have for me then?” The blonde snickered at the thought of Dipper out-doing his extensive knowledge, no one was smarter then Bill he, himself, knew that for a fact. A human such as his Pinetree was very far from even coming close, but he sat back down on the bed and crossed his legs, his gaze now a bit softer as he peered at the nervous twin. “What? I’ll always need you Bill,” He found himself admitting the words before he even processed the sentence that had come past his lips and he started to regret what he had just said. “I-I mean, you’re good company is all I’m saying! I’m not saying that I don’t like you because I do- wait no thats not what I meant! I like you of course! Just not-uh-“ Dipper stopped talking and burrowed his face in his hands, he was sure the yellow demon was laughing at him or had an insult or some snarky remark on the tip of his tongue just waiting to use it, and he wasn’t sure he could’ve handled that much embarrassment in one sitting. But when a gloved hand pushed his hands away and angled his face, he didn’t see an amused or snarky expression plastered on the demon’s face, instead he saw genuine care. A soft, small smile with eyes that seemed to understand him instead of paralyze him with fear or uncertainty like he was used to. “I like you too, Pinetree.” Dipper could feel something pull at his heart at the words, they just sounded so comforting and genuine that he couldn’t stop himself from admiring the demon. His face was soft and well structured, usually all he saw was malice and ill intent when he looked at Bill but now he saw much more. He saw soft blonde hair that seemed to be untamable but eager to be styled, his eye was the most expressive because he found emotions hidden in their depths, Bill also had very long and delicate looking lashes that fit him so well and his lips were very pleasing. Before he registered what was happening, he was leaning closer and closer to Bill, his eyes closing on impulse. When their lips met for the second time, it wasn’t quick and timid but sweet and full of love, Dipper felt the hand on his jaw turn from a hold to more of a cupping action. Bill was an experienced kisser and that did shine through in their kiss as he led and took dominance once Dipper didn’t pull away after a moment of getting a feel for the situation. The blonde’s hands guided the boy’s face as he angled their faces, Bill nipping at the brunette’s bottom lip and swiping his tongue along it in a silent plea for entrance, the demon couldn’t just rush this. The male twin was more shy and too easily scared away from intimate actions, so Bill had to play it slow and steady, keeping his movements gentle and sweet despite his inner hunger for roughness and complete dominance over the boy. But he held himself together, keeping himself in check as their kiss dove into something more heated. It was when he felt the other’s hand fumble with his tailcoat lapels that he knew the current actions might hinder what he’s been working for, so he ended their little session and pulled back. Dipper was flushed full red when he opened his eyes to see the demon drinking up his reactions and he felt a new wave of embarrassment fill his veins, but Bill only gave a knowing smile and fixed his bowtie. “Next time, ask me out to dinner first!” He spoke with a sing-song tone, breaking some of the tension Dipper had felt when he was met with the eye contact. The demon lingered close for another moment before he pulled away, giving the boy a wink as he stood once more. “I hate to cut this short but I have business to attend to. But I’ll be visiting soon. In the meantime, have sweet dreams!~” And just like that the blonde was nowhere to be seen at the snap of his fingers, Dipper sure had a lot to think about now that he had experimented. One thing was for sure though, he was left wanting more.

[taesbetch]

You’re Not Real...

Pairing: Jin x Reader 

Genre: Angst, Ghost!AU

word count: 1,402

(A/N TRIGGER WARNING: mention of suicide and violence )

wake up. 

school. 

go home. 

sleep. 

if you think of it like that, the day seems a lot easier. but that's not exactly how it goes is it. Smaller events happen between; these smaller events eventually make up the days of your life. sometimes they're good...sometimes they're not.

because of those small events, you stood at the edge of a cliff, letting the wind blow your tears towards the side of your face and your hair flow into an uncontrollable mess. 

every day was almost like a dream for you, correction, nightmare. 

you just felt numb. the insults, the pushing, the laughing. but most of all, the bystanders. it wasn't as if everyone in your school was a bitch, the nice ones were just too scared to do anything about it. you weren't mad at them, you would probably act the exact same way if you were them. 

everyone says they would help, that bullying is wrong and they wouldn't just stand and watch. 

but when it actually happens, shit goes down differently. 

you took in a sharp breath before remembering the words from your mother before you got here. 

“Are you going to do it? that's alright, I have other kids, ill make Raina do your chores” 

you scoffed before clenching your fists. what a great mum. your home life was fine before your dad died in a car crash. your mum turned to alcohol and abuse, you being the oldest got the brunt of it all, but again you weren't angry. better you than your siblings. 

for a brief moment, hesitation found its way into your mind. 

...your siblings...

their smiles and laughter flashed into your mind, flashbacks of the games you’d play with them or when you’d tuck them into bed. 

now you were crying harder, not for yourself but for your siblings...what would happen to them if you weren't there to protect them. 

one was 12 and one was 10, that's too young to deal with the shit they would if you were gone. 

no...

for once you just want to think about yourself... no one was there for you, so why would you be there in the first place. 

“I was there wasn't I?”

you spun around quickly; only to be met with the same brown eyes you knew so well. 

the first time he appeared you were about to intake a whole packet of sleeping pills. he cried with you and reached for you to drop the pills; he didn't want you to die, and that thought alone stopped you. 

it wasn't just that, but the look in his eyes, his eyes in general. you felt as if you had seen in somewhere before.

you thought he was just a figment of your imagination, only appearing when a slither of you wanted to live. but that was debunked when he showed up the second time. 

it was in the spare of the moment, you truly wanted to die. 

when you tied your legs to the weights and dropped them into the pool you didn't expect to meet him at the bottom. 

his blonde locks floated around his face but you could still see the saddened expression on his face. 

with one shake of his head, you had untied the rope attaching you to weights and sprung up to supply your lungs with oxygen. when you had surfaced you weren't relieved or happy, you weren't disappointed or angry though... you didn't know what you were feeling. 

you had named him Jin. he never spoke and only appeared when it seemed necessary so assured yourself Jin only existed because your brain was split between surviving and dying. 

but again that was dismissed 

one day as you watched your sisters run around the park; you noticed how happy they were, how free they were even if it was just for a second before you all had to go back home. 

a smile actually graced your face, you hadn't smiled in what seemed like years. 

it was a genuine smile. so when you saw him leaning against the swing seat smiling along with you, you were definitely confused. 

and now here he was again, the same blonde haired pale boy. 

“you speak” you whispered to yourself as you stared at the boy with wide eyes. 

but this time as you stared into his eyes, there was something different...you couldn't quite pin what it was. 

he sighed before looking around the cliff you both stood on. 

“Now it makes sense” he said with almost a chuckle as his hands slipped into his pockets. 

“What makes sense?” you asked as you wiped youe tears that seemed to keep rolling down your face no matter what you were thinking of. 

“i always wondered why here, why you? why i’m still roaming around these streets when it was so long ago” he sighed deeply. 

confusion quickly covered your face; before you even asked Jin already knew your question. 

“i killed myself” he said as his eyes bored into yours. 

you stood with your mouth hung open in shock. so he wasnt just your imagination. he was a ghost. 

it hit you like a ton of bricks. the look in his eyes were so fimilar, because it was look of your own. 

you both weren't angry at the world, you weren't disappointed in society, you didnt pity your situation or yourselves and it wasn't particularly that you were in pain or hurting...

you were just sad..

when those kids did nothing, you were sad

when you came home and got nothing but a smack, you were sad

and now, as you stand here awaiting death, your just...sad. 

“right here on this spot actually” he said as he took in a deep breath. 

“then why are you still here?” you asked quietly. he laughed as a tear rolled down his face. 

“who knows, maybe im here to stop you..maybe a higher power knew that someone would need me” he answered with a shrug. 

his last sentence struck a chord in your heart. ‘someone would need me’

“i guess i didnt really help you did i? what am i supposed to say? dont do it? like thats going to do anything...” he said as he stared at his feet. 

you let out a loud sob before clutching your head. 

“there's no way” you breathed out as you clenched your eyes closed. 

jin isnt a real person, ghosts don't exist, he's just your imagination trying to talk you out of dying. 

but do you want to die, are you really sure? 

sure life sucks but there are good things too...

“would you be happy?” he asked slowly as he approached you. 

“happy?” you asked with a scoff as you wiped your tears yet again. “what even is happiness anymore? Jin i don't know! this isnt living! im breathing, but im not living! i don't have ambitions anymore, i dont have intrests anymore! i dont know what fun is or the love of a parent...i just dont want to feel like this anymore” you cried as the cold air hit your back. 

“im sorry” you said shaking your head before turning back around to the cliff. 

the water below hit harshly against the rocks and the wind was loud and in a frenzy. 

“you don't think i know! But trust me death isn't any better, you're still alone!” he cried out behind you, your eyes were focused on the water in front of you but you could still hear him crying. 

“You’ll have me! i promise ill show up a lot more and i-i-i can be there for you, and you can be there for me!...Y/N, please! You're the only one who can see me! i don't want to be alone again! please don't!” he begged desperately. 

he probably didn't think you would do it, like the other times he stopped you; he probably thought he had more time. 

but you were done. you were over it. and now you wanted to end it.

“I'm sorry, but you're not real” you cried as you shook your head. 

as you took your last step off the cliff, you saw the same look in his eyes that were probably in your own. but as you fell towards the racing waters and the ragged rocks, you closed your eyes and breathed in your last breath. 

for once, you didn't feel sad...

instead..you felt nothing.

[devptel]

Hey favourite captain America movies scenes?

OH BOY! OH DUDE!

(i wrote this whole thing out with my favourite scenes from all Cap movies and it was so fucking long it was almost embarrassing and definitely unnecessary so i cut out everything but CA:TWS and it’s still so fucking long, i apologise but also i don’t)

My favourite scenes in the winter soldier are Every scene™ Best Movie Ever Made™ Single handedly saved the film industry™ but some personal favourites are:

-”On your left” and Steve having a great time being a Little Shit™/ Sam and Steve’s back and forth

-”I’m here to pick up a fossil”

-Steve jumping out of the plane without a parachute because he’s not just a little shit he’s a Dramatic Little Shit™

-The whole of him infiltrating the ship to free the hostages and the crazy dramatic parkour of it all, like we get it Steve, we see The Beef™, we get it

-”I’m multi-tasking” / ”Hey sailor” (just Natasha™ and everything she ever does and says and is)

-*Puts away shield, takes off helmet* “on va voir” Dramatic. Little. Shit.™

-”Last time I trusted someone I lost an eye” and more of a look into Fury’s past and who he is (!!)

-“This isn’t freedom this is fear” (Every line in that scene and the clear emphasis on the stark difference between Fury’s morals and way of thinking and Steve’s)

-Little kid in the Captain America shirt noticing Steve at the Captain America exhibit/ Steve visiting the exhibit (how many times has he done that? just gone alone to see footage of his old friends? gone to remember why he started fighting? and why he still is?, i’m crying.)

-THE PEGGY SCENE i’m still crying and i’m never stopping 

-Steve visiting Sam’s support group (”You could do whatever you want to do, what makes you happy?” “I dunno” bruh. i am still crying.)

-”Air conditioning is fully operational” and THAT WHOLE ENTIRE SCENE with special EMPHASIS on bucky shooting a bomb on the car and dramatically stepping out the way just before it explodes and crushes him (also the winter soldier theme is beautiful and haunting and THAT SOUNDTRACK THO)

-”EARS EVERYWHERE” “SHEILD COMPROMISED” Fury in Steve’s apartment/ Fury getting shot “Don’t trust anyone” + Steve going after Bucky (“Tell them i’m in pursuit” *Dramatic Music* BUSTS THROUGH FIVE DIFFERENT WALLS. truly the biggest drama queen to exist)

-Natasha’s face when Steve said “he had a metal arm” (give me bucky/nat or give me death!) 

-Natasha watching Fury die ”Don’t do this to me Nick” have i stopped crying yet? no. 

-Natasha questioning Steve “You’re a terrible liar”/ Steve hiding TOP SECRET shield files in a VENDING MACHINE what the fuck rogers 

-More information about Fury! Alexander Pierce! “Did he tell you he bugged it?” Pierce subtly trying to get Steve to distrust Fury PLANTING SEEDS OF DOUBT! A CORRUPT SYSTEM! PLAYING TO STEVES ALREADY WARY ATTITUDE TOWARDS FURY AND WHAT SHIELD IS UP TO AND HIDING FROM HIM! “He told me not to trust anyone” “I wonder if that included him?” STEVE NOT BUYING IT!

-THE ELEVATOR SCENE™ !!!

-Steve full on just JUMPING OUT A WINDOW to escape “Are you kidding me!?” hard same Shield agent hard same

-Natasha popping the bubblegum behind Steve can you say Iconic™ ? / Natasha and Steve’s back and forth talking about the winter soldier “He shot him straight through me” 

-Natasha and Steve going undercover/ Steve running over their options on fighting as Shield agents approach them, vs. Natasha’s ”Shut up and put your arm around me, laugh at something I said” Steve thinking like a soldier, Natasha thinking like a spy.

-The dialogue as they’re driving: “Truth is a matter of circumstance, it’s not all things, to all people, all the time, and neither am I” “That’s a tough way to live” “It’s a good way not to die though” // “Who do you want me to be?” “How bout a friend?” “There’s a chance you might be in the wrong business rogers” (also the way she drags out ‘wrong business rogers’ like fuck me up)

-Steve and Natasha infiltrating the old Shield base: “Shall we play a game?” ZOLA! HYDRA! “Operation paperclip after World War II Shield recruited german scientists with strategic value” SHEILD DOOMED ITSELF FROM THE BEGINNING! HIRING HYDRA AGENTS! LETTING RED SKULL DIRECTLY INTO THEIR SYSTEMS! “cut off one head two more shall take it’s place” 

- ‘Anthony and Maria Stark die in car crash’ “accidents will happen” (I OUT LOUD GASPED AT THIS PART WHEN I SAW IT IN THE CINEMA FOR THE FIRST TIME STILL GETS ME)

-“We won Captain, your death amounts to the same as your life, a zero sum”

-Pierce talking to Bucky in the shadows plus the maid walking in ”Sorry Mr. Pierce I forgot my phone” “Oh Renata I wish you would have knocked” and then him shooting her. Yikez™

-SAM WILSON™

-More Steve/ Natasha back and forth (!!) “You seem pretty chipper for someone who just found out they died for nothing” / A LOOK INTO NATASHAS BACKSTORY (!!!!) “looks like i just traded in the KGB for Hydra” (!!!)

-”..throw me off a building? that’s not really your style rogers” ”You’re right it’s not, it’s hers” NATASHA JUST STRAIGHT UP KICKING A MAN OFF A BUILDING ICONIC! AMAZING! 

-HIGHWAY FIGHT SCENE! HIGHWAY FIGHT SCENE! HIGHWAY FIGHT SCENE!!!!!! DID SOMEONE SAY HIGHWAY FUCKING FIGHT SCENE !!!!

-”Bucky?” “Who the hell is Bucky?”

-MARIA HILL! “She’ll want to see him first” FURY FAKED HIS OWN DEATH! “Can’t kill you if you’re already dead” ALSO ((“I wasn’t sure who to trust” then he looks at Natasha???? I’m sure it’s because he knows the past between her and Bucky and didn’t know if it might compromise her IM SURE OF IT))

-BUCKY BACKSTORY + “ the man on the bridge who was he? (…)  i knew him (…)  but i knew him.” + a little look at the torture they put him through, Yikez™.

-”This man declined the noble peace prize, he said peace wasn’t an achievement it was a responsibility” (…) “see it’s stuff like this that gives me trust issues” Great lines. Great characterisation of both Pierce and Fury in just two sentences. 

-”we’re not salvaging anything we’re not just taking down Hydra we’re taking down Shield too”  ”Shield had nothing to do with it” Fury still having faith in a flawed system! because it’s how he knows how to help! Steve being fed up with it! Doesn’t like people who keep secrets! Doesn’t like how Shield and the bad guys seem to always go hand in hand! “Hydra grew right under your nose and nobody noticed” “I noticed” “How many paid the price before you did?”

-Dramatic Bridge scene™ Bucky Flashbacks™ “I can get by on my own” “The thing is you don’t have to, I’m with you till the end of the line pal” Oh you think I stopped crying? Wrong again.

-”IF YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT A WAR YOU GOTTA WEAR A UNIFORM”

-STAN LEE™

-CAPTAIN AMERICA SPEECH OVER THE INTERCOM ON THE SHIELD BASE! “The price of freedom is high, and it’s a price i’m willing to pay.” THATS MY BOY! THATS MY DUDE!

-”Send those ships up now” “Sorry sir (..) i’m not going to launch those ships, Captains orders” I ?? loved this ??? the little guy standing up even when it doesn’t benefit him, ESPECIALLY when it doesn’t benefit him, the little guy fighting for what he knows is right, is anything more Captain America™ than that? don’t think so. + “You picked the wrong side agent” “Depends on where you’re standing”

-MORE FIGHT SCENES. LOVE ME THEM FIGHT SCENES. 

-“What if Pakistan marched into Mumbai tomorrow and you knew they were going to drag your daughters into a soccer stadium to execute them? and you could stop them with a flick of a switch, wouldn’t you?” (PIERCE FIRMLY BELIEVING HE’S THE GOOD GUY! THAT HE’S FIGHTING FOR THE WORLD! PEACE IS A RESPONSIBILITY!) + “Not if it was your switch” 

”I’m sorry did I step on your moment?” TRULY ICONIC™ HOW CAN ONE PERSON BE SO ICONIC™ ?

-Natasha releasing the classified Shield files (!!) “If you do this none of your past is going to remain hidden, are you sure you’re ready for the world to see you as you really are?” “Are you?”

-FALCON™

-THAT WINTER SOLDIER THEME! IM NOT OVER IT! AND I NEVER WILL BE! MOVIE SOUNDTRACKS AMIRIGHT!

-”Company’s coming” THAT DRAMATIC AS HELL ENTRANCE BY NICK FURY THO Natasha’s not the only iconic™ one around here

-”Why make me head of Shield?” “Cause you were the best and the most ruthless person I ever met” “I did what I did to protect people”  “Our enemies are your enemies Nick, disorder, war, it’s just a matter of time before a dirty bomb goes off in Moscow or an EMP fries Chicago, diplomacy is holding action Nick (..) and you know where i learnt that? from you, you didn’t ask Nick you just did what had to be done. I can bring order to the lives of 7 billion people by sacrificing 20 million, it’s the next step, if you have the courage to take it”  “No I have the courage not to” (THE BACK AND FORTH WITH THESE TWO! NOT JUST TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN BUT QUITE OFTEN THE SAME SIDE OF THE SAME COIN! JUST NOT IN THIS INSTANCE! THE TENSION THAT CREATES IS INSANE! THE GREYING OF THE MORALS! THE BLURRING OF THE LINES! THATS SOME SMART AS HELL WRITING BABES!)

-“You don’t think we wiped your clearance from the system?” “I know, you erased my password, probably deleted my retinal scan, but if you want to stay ahead of me Mr. Secretary, you need to keep both eyes open” *lifts up eyepatch* now I know i’ve said iconic a few times already but really that’s iconic™  

-BUCKY VS. STEVE ON THE HELICARRIER. “people are gonna die Buck, i can’t let that happen, please don’t make me do this” 

-SAM vs. RUMLOW “man shut the hell up” + Rumlow on his way to becoming Crossbones thoooo it’s a real thing of beauty

-bucky shooting steve. steve’s face when it happens. just checking in that i’m still crying? yep you betcha dude

-”There was a time i would have taken a bullet for you” “You already did” . I love old friends that become enemies. I love it. Please more.

-Natasha using her widow’s bites on herself. “Ow those really do sting” BADASS.

- “41st floor!, 41st!” “Not like they put the floor numbers on the outside of the building!”

-Steve saving Bucky.

-Steve trying to get Bucky to remember who he is “i’m not going to fight you, you’re my friend” “You’re my mission” “Then finish it, cause i’m with you till the end of the line” 

-Bucky saving Steve.

-On your left

-COURTROOM SCENE™  TRULY AMAZING “Hydra was selling you lies not intelligence” “Many of which you seem to have a personal hand in telling (..) There are many that feel given your service for this country and against it that you belong in a penitentiary not mouthing off on capitol hill”  “You’re not gonna put me in a prison you’re not gonna put any of us in a prison you know why?” “Do enlighten us” “Because you need us (..) The world is a vulnerable place and yes we help make it that way, but we’re also the best qualified to defend it, so if you wanna arrest me, arrest me, you’ll know where to find me” THAT SMIRK. (also ‘the world is a vulnerable place and yes we help make it that way’ I LOVE THAT. acknowledgement that the very existence of superheroes is the reason for the existence of supervillians, reminds me of joker/batman dynamics LOVE IT)

-STEVE AND NATASHA FRIENDSHIP + “be careful Steve you might not want to pull on that thread”

-”You’re going after him” “You don’t have to come with me” “I know. When do we start?”

-And those dope credits tho

THIS IS TOO LONG IM SO SORRY 

I also love that I said “some personal favourites are” like I didn’t just write out the whole entire goddamn movie in plot points lmao fuck thats my bad