#thatd be so fucking funny

[angelhummel]

aljfsdlk i wanted a random video to watch so i put on the first one youtube recommended with one of my go to movie commentator channels and it was the movie "better watch out" then my dad walked by and looked at the screen and was like "chris!" and i was like "who??" and he's like "is that not chris colfer?" talking about the main little boy kid

anyway klaine au where

[lu-is-not-ok]

Someone probably already made this joke.

[number-one-hog-hater]

Y'all. Podcast Confirmed. April 24th. Get it on the calendar.

[thundiephobic]

Green Acres: Modern Warfare II

[cringefail-clown]

also in the time i was away ive been thinking bout dad and robro in turnabout meeting and its. hilarious

DAD: Oh, you've known my uncle?

HALBRO: Yeah.

HALBRO (thinking): Don't fucking say it don't fucking say it don't-

HALBRO: Carnally.

[gemharvest]

This bit of trivia makes me ❓ what lore would contradict this. Is it that canon BF isn't trans. Why can't he be trans.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Ive been thinking about this. So, there are a few productions where der Tod is supposed to only have a romantic relationship with Elisabeth, like, their relationship is "special" because hes never been in love before, whch I dont like because I always thought that hes Like That with everyone, or atleast with everyone who thinks about death and dying a lot, its just presented as special because Elisabeth is the central character. But whatever, some productions wanna make it extra amatonormative romantic so hes never felt that kind of love towards anyone before and will never feel it again after the story is done, I know thats definitely the case in the takarazuka production and I think thats also what they did for the hungarian production (i havent seen that one in a while so im not sure) and from what Ive heard about the newer austrain productions, it seems like they do it like that as well. Okay, sure, Elisabeth is der Tods one true love, why not, yay heterosexuality. But then why is doing all that shit Rudolf though

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[kacchanrawr]

I don't really go here anymore, but with mha ending I think I'm gonna reread and catch up to it soon. But as of now, my stance on bkdk endgame is: "i don't think it'll happen but i hope it happens cuz god that would be so funny"

[heuldoch7b]

I had a dream that there was official art of Fulgrim that looked exactly like your Fulgrim design and I learnt it was a collab between you and games workshop and I was like whhhaaaaaatttt?!?! Anyways I love the way you draw all these silly lil guys 💚💚

THATS INSANE (POSITIVELY) i take this as like a transcendent compliment from the universe passed through very epic you via cool as fuck dream. so sick. SO NICE TOO COMING FROM YOU I LOOOVVEE YOUR STUFF SO MUCH ❗❗❗ im going to be thinking about this

[goodnightwindy]

i keep thinking of like. soul using increasingly unsettling threats to get heart and mind to stop fighting. like theyre arguing over smth pointless one day and soul just comes into the room looking absolutely fucking exhausted and just says ' i swear to god if you two don't shut up i will steal the calcium right out of your bones ' or something and heart and mind are so confused by it that they both go silent and stop arguing entirely

[cloudiistarz]

me after drawing some random dude all silly and cutesy in pink

[cosmicstarlatte]

imagine Lucifers circle of hell actually being fun because he hates fun things and thinks its torture

[larrythefloridaman]

crumble and the Naut

bonus:

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[nerosdayinanime]

thinking abt sabito lives design again & i started putting him in situations and reminded myself of my hc that he does origami in his off time

my original vampire!sab outfit idea, his white haori's sleeves seem kinda short on him as a 13 yo ghost so actually growing to 21 hed probably need to extend it, so why not recycle his funky pattern shirt for it? yellow-green geometric pattern along all the edges, and for a sabito lives in place of giyuu au why not attach his red haori on the inside

something something sanemi stopping by the water estate for whatever reason, sabito being a good host asks if he wants some tea and starts to leave to make some, "where are you going? thats tea there isnt it?"

"not the kind you'd want. its mushroom tea, the funky kind."

"the hell are you drinking that for!?"

"lets me see ghosts."

"...you're sick in the head."

"not wrong, but thats not even top five of reasons why."

them chilling drinking tea & talking abt nothing and after a bit sabito starts smiling at thin air, theyre still talking but he keeps glancing over at nothing and when theres a lull in their convo he turns to talk to said nothing "why are you being so quiet?" (i never see you talking with anyone....i dont want to interrupt) "but i like talking to you.." (you can keep talking with him, i'll still be here) a little huff before looking down at the drink in his hands

"who are you talking to?"

"my best friend."

-

sabito coming home from a nasty mission and doing his usual wash-up routine & finally sitting down in the main room. then The Horrors hit. (FuckingfailureWasntfastenough) eyes unfocused and unseeing, (BlueeyesLongblackhairSofuckingyoung) world closing in and feeling like its about to explode all the same, (ScreamofdeathSilenceNofuckinghead) thick tears pooling around his forehead pressed to the floor, (WEAKTOOSLOWFUCKINGIDIOTWRONGDECISIONBLOODONYOURHANDSBRAINATYOURFEETBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOOD)

"SABITO-SAN!?"

the lady housekeep he hired finding him unresponsive curled up on the floor face down hugging himself while shaking like a leaf, freaking the fuck out thinking hes dying of shock or something- pulls him to sit upright leaned against the wall, try and fail to see if hes hugging himself bc of a wound bc hes just. fucking holding onto himself so tightly. white knuckled muscles locked in place. sends a crow to the butterfly mansion for an emergency and sprints to get the nearest doctor, they arrive and hes not moved from where she propped him up, doctor checks his eyes and sees they respond to light theyre just not looking at anything, tries a few taps on the face and the housekeep worriedly calling out for him. nothing. doctor apologizes for what theyre about to do before slapping the Absolute shit out of him.

knocks him over and his hand suddenly snaps out to latch onto theirs to a painful degree, eyes focused and full of fury before it shorts out to confusion. he blearily lets go of the doctor and hisses at the stinging pain in his face, "the fuck hap-ppened?"

"you were hugging yourself on the floor- and you wouldnt respond- you were just shaking!"

"what do you remember?"

(BLOODBLOODBLOOD)

he recoils slightly and shakes his head, "g-give me a minute. fuck.."

"take as long as you need"

focusing his Breath as he haphazardly scrubs his eyes dry with the edges of his sleeves, leaning back against the wall. just breathing for a moment.

"I came home. took a quick bath to-" (wash off the blood) "wash. changed clothes. sat down to do- ..something.."

"do you not remember what you sat down to do?"

"not like that- whatever there is to do. Something. anything. i usually do origami.."

doctor talks yadda yadda makes sure he doesnt have immediate brain damage or actively bleeding wounds & leaves with their promise of another doctor on their way

"sabito-san..? what exactly happened..?" he softens a sad look at her

("my mother used to help keep this place up for the man before you." he smiled, "eh? your mother kept the place intact for my mentor. how nice that you're here to help me out now, ne?")

"bad mission, ("oh..") there was a young boy. i fucked up, the demon killed him." he inhaled through his teeth, "i had to tell his family while covered with his brains."

she recoiled, reached out to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, "im so sorry..."

he let his head loll back against the wall, "its fine"

"its not..."

"its not. but it is what it is, and its over with."

"...kocho-sama should be on her way."

he quietly groaned, "thank you. ...was it that scary?"

"you usually hide it with some sort of smile. i cant imagine how you do that if its bad enough to make you look like youre dying when you cant stuff it away anymore.."

"heh, sorry to scare you like that..."

"dont be. talk to kocho-sama and see if she can help you. i just dont want you to be in so much pain.."

he smiled genuinely at that, "you really help. talking with you and helping with chores makes it easy to smile."

easy to forget that hes alone. easy to forget pretty piercing blue eyes, what they look like wide with fear and never what they look like in death. blood that tints his memories old and new. blood that he coats himself in, blood he refuses to wash away- blood thats all he has left of him.

-

sabito has a little stall at the end of the market in the nearby village, just big enough for himself and a few bundles of paper, out of the way of the busier sections. most people pass seeing how he only has a few paper figures and a bunch of colored paper to sell. a few stop by, intrigued by what he could possibly be doing here.

"whats your favorite animal?"

they answer, he picks out a piece of paper and starts folding, he gives them a little guy

"you never said how much??"

"i dont need money, i just do it 'cuz its fun. want another one?"

people bring their friends to get a little paper creature, talk and laugh, enjoy their new little guys. it makes him smile.

a lady walks up, cant name a creature so he suggests a surprise animal based on her, "sure." he starts folding, eventually she recognizes it "an elephant!?" "yeah," not really looking at her as hes finishing it, "theyre kind animals, 'gentle giants', but theyre still very powerful. predators have to pick off the sick or young because the healthy adults are too strong to be brought down. smart too. i also read that theyre matriarchs- the oldest wisest female usually leads the herd. she shows everyone how to be an elephant, where to find food, how to navigate their world, safest places to travel. she's their guide and teacher." he sets it down closer to her, "you make me think of an elephant."

"oh," she looks at him stunned, "thank you."

he smiles, "careful not to squish it, if you do though i can just make another one for you. have a nice rest of your shopping trip."