#thataspdfeel

[thataspdfeel]

People with aspd often get accused to use their disorder as an excuse to be a bad person. But those people don’t understand the personality of someone with aspd. Like, I don’t care about other people or what happens to them, so when I’m told a tragic story I might react different that what they would expect. Maybe I just shrug my shoulders and the others automatically think I’m acting emotionless and therefore ‘edgy’, when in reality I maybe just forgot that my normal isn’t socially accepted.

ok well there’s a difference between the tragic story example you gave and being a bad person, in my opinion

i don’t care what happens to other people. genuinely. i understand there are always going to be homeless people and they’re always going to suffer. but just because i don’t personally care if someone else is starving doesn’t give me an excuse to be neutral, or god forbid, kick these people while they’re down

they’re human just as much as i am and deserving of dignity so it’s my duty to promote those donation posts, to give money where i can, to hand a homeless person some water or my own burger. i can find another meal. fuck, i can eat ramen if i absolutely have to. but there people may not be able to do that and they deserve kindness

like i may not cry or feel anything when i see human suffering or hear about tragedy, but that’s one thing. it’s not acting “edgy” at all. it’s just the reality of things. what’s “edgy” is when you turn your “i don’t care” into “it’s not my fault i’m punching you because i have a disorder” that it becomes an excuse to be a bad person. you’re not taking responsibility for your actions

frankly, so far as morality goes, personal motivation doesn’t exactly matter or at least not nearly as much as people think it does. i’m personally motiated towards neutrality in all situations because i just don’t give a shit. jontron’s a white supremacist? doesn’t affect me so who cares, right? motivationally, it doesn’t matter either way if i continue to watch him or not

but, objectively, it does matter. even if i wasn’t queer, mentally ill, disabled, etc it does matter because it does effect other people. there are consequences to mortality even if the consequences aren’t my own. it doesn’t matter how it affects me. the end result is negative even if my actions were neutral

i mean i’m not saying motivation doesn’t matter at all. after all, it is much better to do good things with good intentions than bad things with good intentions. the end doesn’t justify the means, after all. but with your intentions neutral, or even leaning towards bad (ie hurting people because their reactions are funny or it’s just downright generally entertaining) the action itself is what matters

this is what i mean when i say i don’t use my problems as excuses. i don’t force my trauma onto other people and i don’t blame my actions on my own issues. certainly they explain them but, at the end of the day, cool motive still murder

except a personality disorder isn’t even a cool fucking motive. collect your shit and don’t be an edgelord

[friendlypsychopathnextdoor]

Thoughts on the blog thataspdfeel?

They put up more effort than can be expected (logically).The blog itself, while obviously not relatable, is entertaining enough.

[thatantisocialbitch]

You got any good aspd blogs? Yours is too good

😂👌 Some good ones I’ve noticed are @reiraaa @aspdking @thatpsychopathnextdoor @sociopathicneighbor @thataspdfeel @cenkrett @reinedescruelles Not sure if you are looking for blogs with info about aspd or simply blogs by people who have aspd.

-I am certain I am missing some, feel free to add to the list.

[thataspdfeel]

That ASPD feel when you don't cry when your ex sexually abuses you, but regularly cry just out of frustration and boredom.

this is a really relatable mood. i didn’t really feel anything about the abuse my ex put me through until i was out of that relationship entirely

also i’m on ADD meds so i can focus on answering these messages finally

[thataspdfeel]

what do you think abt aspd/bpd or aspd/empath relationships? any thoughts or experiences?

ok so alex and i have talked about my disorders and we’re pretty sure i have bpd and a conduct disorder as opposed to aspd like i was diagnosed. i’ve been debating about if i should continue this blog since i don’t necessarily have full-blown aspd myself but just the conduct disorder. but there isn’t really anybody on tumblr other than alex i’d trust with this blog because there are way too many Edgelord Pure Psychopath™ people floating around. y’all can draw blog names out of a hat and probably find one, frankly

that said, my wife is an empath and it’s absolutely debilitating for them. it’s kind of refreshing for them to be around me, someone who has no empathy because they’ll describe a problem or situation they’re having socially and i’ll respond in my usual way (fuck that guy, he’s a dick; i’m going to steal her kneecaps; why is that bothering you exactly?) and they’ll realize when they’ve been treated poorly versus when they’re overreacting to things and when they needs to disengage. instead of trying to process their emotions like somebody else with empathy and then “respond accordingly” ie filter it in a way i think would be best for them, they can tell from my blunt responses what the truth is by seeing the middle between their reaction and mine

alternatively, i’ll be bothered by something but not care enough to say or feel it’s not important and they’ll be able to tell and tease it out of me. i’ll also encounter a situation where i’m PRETTY SURE someone is treating me poorly, but won’t be sure due to autism or a slew of other issues, run it by them and they’ll be able to confirm or deny. or i’ll be having a tense situation with somebody, they’ll sense our emotions, see both sides, and mediate effectively. that tends to be more exhausting for them but like it’s a huge boon for the other people involved

this is a double-edged sword, however. i have SO MUCH TROUBLE filtering things to sound non antagonistic just because i’m very blunt about how i feel. i’ve been slowly working towards saying things like “i feel neglected lately so maybe we should spend some time together” rather than “i feel neglected when you don’t spend time with me” which places the blame on them for my own feelings “you need to spend more time with me” which doesn’t explain how i feel but commands a solution that, to my wife, feels like i’m just rudely demanding something of them

this has led to a LOT of fights especially recently after i moved in with them. part of it is indeed my own inability to communicate in a “polite” manner (which i’m working on with my therapist!) but part of it is their empath sensitivity feeling like i’m purposely attacking them whenever i try to bring up an issue. it’s a complex problem but because my wife can’t turn their empathy/sensitivity off, it’s up to me to make sure i’m communicating as effectively as possible in order to minimize conflict with each other and maximize effort towards a solution

so like, as far as my own experiences go, it’s both good and bad like most other things. if i’m not careful, i can be not just toxic but outright abusive if i’m not curtailing my own blutness and words. in turn, my wife can easily miscontrue how i feel and drive a wedge in our relationship. if we’re not very careful with how we interact with each other, our relationship can turn into a toxic waste dump of nuclear power

so far though, we’re both hyper aware of this as we’ve both been in abusive relationships. i myself have been both victim and abuser so i’m especially aware of how easily i can turn into something i don’t like. but we’ve known each other for almost 10 years now, and been together romantically for somewhere in the vicinity of almost half that. we’ve grown apart then back together again over the years. we’re imperfect individuals but our love has kept us going, cheesy as that sounds, it’s very much true

anyway, i hope that answered your question! i feel that, overall, that these relationships can be the most wonderful, fulfilling things you could ever experience or the exact opposite. it all depends on the personalities of the people involved as well as how self aware they are and willing to work to be better people

[thataspdfeel]

that aspd feel when manipulating people is one the only things to bring you joy anymore. but, by gosh is it fun to fuck around with people like they’re your sims :DD

you need better hobbies mate. people aren’t toys no matter how fun it is to pretend otherwise

[thataspdfeel]

That feel when your family doesn’t like you because of the disorder but whoops! you just don’t give a care! Go ahead and seethe in your hatred grandma, i’ll be over here actually feeling bad for buying a piano tuning kit when I don’t even have a piano.

[thataspdfeel]

Why are people with ASPD called sociopaths?

google was no help and i’ve had this ask for months trying to figure out the answer to this

i’d check the notes, mate

[thataspdfeel]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DO YOU EVER JUST REALLY WANT TO MURDER YOUR MOTHER

mood

[thataspdfeel]

Also that ASPD feel when you really want a relationship that actually stays together instead of impulsively dating people you don't care about solely off the dopaminergenic high you got from meeting them so you break up with the bf and tell yourself you're just gonna be promiscuous but end up in another relationship literally less than an hour later.

i dont know that specific feel because i casually sleep around until i feel that kind of connection i need to date somebody cause im on the aro spectrum

but im pretty damn sure you arent the only one who feels this

[thataspdfeel]

Like, idk why I'm submitting this here because I don't even use tumblr but DAMN I wish I knew other people with ASPD (irl). It gets so tiring being around normal people and JUST like cmon can I not have someone who will join me when I get my pyromaniac urges or something? Like is that too much to ask? Only one person knows my diagnosis and sure I can talk about things I do or want to do but I don't think he could ever Truly understand.

this is such a mood tho like i get that anon i totally get that

[thataspdfeel]

One of your past posts says that lying is always inherently abusive but what if you are lying to make the other person not feel bad? I dont know man my entire existence is a lie (both in the joke sense and because I have learned to mostly hide my antisocial traits in order to not die in society and for that i have to lie. Example: "Im really sorry you had to go through __ " instead of "I could not care less why are you telling me this?")

i think what i meant in that post had to do with like lying about huge things and how it can lead into a slippery slope of gaslighting and shit. i dont remember the post but my general stance is that honesty is the best policy where possible and i think it also depends on why youre lying vs the lie itself. like polite lies like the example above are fine considering even nt people do that shit

sorry im a little discombobulated and slowly getting back to this blog. hit me up again if this answer doesnt make sense or answer what it was you wanted

[thataspdfeel]

#thataspdfeel when u swore ud never date someone w a cluster b again bc of trauma and ableism but turns out u just needed another aspd since u both understand each other perfectly, are brutally honest and communicative and for the first time dont have to fake anything ;u; love is fkin real and its so weird to discover it at 20 years old yoooo i wish it to everyone whos still searching :oo (love ur blog btw so refreshing not to see edgy tunglers glorifying being shitheads)

ty for the compliment!! also idk that feel but im sure somebody does

also i have a personal standard of not being a shithead and im glad thats holding up

[thataspdfeel]

Thataspdfeel w u apologize constantly about everything to make up for that fact that youre not guilty or sorry at all

[thataspdfeel]

That aspd feel when after you percieve anyone to have wronged you your first response is to try to hurt them back or to want to kill them/attack them, and it's always getting you in trouble

[thataspdfeel]

taspdfw you kinda hope someone attacks you when you go out walking just so you have an excuse to fight someone