#that. like that all makes me think the same is true when kendra is around. and now I’m curious how many nights kendra spent in sunnydale?

[jasclearwaters]

Learn to Fly

Robert Irwin x Surfer! OC

Summary: After a life-changing event.

Kendra is forced to adjust to a new reality.

When an unexpected invitation from

Robert Irwin arrives, she must navigate the

challenges of recovery, her relationships, and

what comes next.

Warnings: none

A/N: tell me what you think! thanks for the love on part one. also lmk if i should make a fic playlist

Part Two

Walking into the grand ballroom in Las Vegas, I’m hit by a wave of sound and movement. Everything’s on another level—people mingling, laughing, dressed in gowns and tuxes that seem plucked right from a red-carpet premiere. It’s surreal, a complete 180 from my usual day-to-day back in Hawaii, and I can already feel my pulse picking up.

But this? This isn’t about me tonight. It’s about something bigger. That’s what keeps me grounded as I look around the room, trying to spot Robert. And then—there he is, standing near the stage, looking completely in his element.

When our eyes meet, he gives me this wide, easy smile, one that just immediately disarms me. Texting back and forth with him over the last few weeks, I thought I’d had a sense of his vibe, but seeing him in person is a whole other thing. The guy has this energy—open, warm, like someone who’d just as easily sit down for hours chatting with you about conservation as he would dive right into the ocean to save a turtle.

“Robert!” I say, moving toward him, feeling my own smile widening. There’s a moment when he just looks at me, like he’s taking in every detail, and I can’t help but notice the way he lights up seeing me here.

“Kendra, you made it!” He steps forward, extending a hand, but then, almost impulsively, pulls me into a hug. I’m a little taken aback, but it feels genuine—like we’re already friends, and honestly, it’s the best way to be greeted right now.

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” I tell him, and it’s true. Even beyond my work, the last few weeks of talking to Robert had made this feel like the right place to be, like we were on some parallel track.

He introduces me to a few key people: colleagues from the zoo, donors, conservationists, his family. Everyone’s warm and welcoming, but my attention keeps slipping back to him. Every time he speaks, there’s this quiet confidence, this unfiltered passion that you can’t fake. And it’s almost distracting—I can feel myself drawn to it, a kind of intrigue mixed with attraction I hadn’t expected.

Soon, Robert’s mom, Terri, takes the stage to introduce him for his speech. She’s a striking woman, blonde like Robert, and carries herself with a kind of effortless elegance. The room quiets, and all eyes turn to her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here tonight,” Terri begins, her voice smooth, confident. “It’s my absolute pleasure to introduce my son, Robert, a man who is not only dedicated to the cause of conservation but also embodies the spirit of kindness and perseverance. I’ve watched him grow into the incredible person he is today, and I couldn’t be prouder of the work he’s doing.”

I see Robert standing off to the side, a slight flush in his cheeks, but there’s a warmth in his smile as he nods at his mom. There’s something special about the way she speaks of him, the pride unmistakable.

“Robert,” she continues, “has always had a deep connection to the world around him. From the moment he could walk, he was out there, in the ocean, in the forests, always fascinated by the life and beauty in the world that most people overlook. Tonight, we’re here not only to raise funds but to continue supporting his vision, his work. So, without further ado, my son, Robert.”

Robert steps onto the stage with a calm confidence that instantly fills the room. He’s wearing a simple but sharp black tuxedo, his blonde hair perfectly styled, and his blue eyes scan the crowd with that same warmth and openness I’ve come to know.

“Thank you, Mom,” he says with a soft smile, before addressing the room. His voice is clear, easy to listen to, carrying without effort across the crowd. “Thank you all for being here tonight. The work we do—the habitats we protect, the animals we save, the ecosystems we restore—it’s not just a job for me. It’s a passion, and it’s something I believe in deeply. But it’s also a responsibility. And with that responsibility comes the chance to make a real, lasting change.”

As he speaks, his gaze shifts toward me in the crowd, catching my eyes for a brief second before moving back to his audience. The brief connection sends a wave of warmth through me, and I feel the slightest blush creeping up. He’s not just talking about conservation; he’s talking about something bigger—about a cause that feels like it’s right at the core of who he is.

“We live in a world where so much is lost every day, where so many species face extinction, where entire habitats vanish overnight. But tonight, all of you here—you’re proof that we can choose a different path. We can choose to fight for something bigger than ourselves.”

His words hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting. There’s a quiet intensity in his tone that pulls me in deeper. He’s not up there for applause; he’s up there to inspire action, to rally the room, and it’s working. When he finishes, the room bursts into applause, and I find myself clapping with an enthusiasm I didn’t even realize I had. Robert is already stepping down from the stage, and as he returns to where I’m standing, he gives me a grin.

“Not bad, huh?” he says with a twinkle in his eye.

“You were amazing,” I tell him, meaning every word. He looks at me for a second, surprised but pleased by my sincerity.

“Thanks, Kendra. That... means a lot,” he says softly.

The rest of the evening passes in a blur of conversations and introductions, but it’s like we’re in our own little bubble. Every chance he gets, Robert comes back to check on me, to share a quick joke or tell me a story. And every time he does, I feel that pull a little stronger.

Then, as the evening continues, it’s my turn. I step up to the podium, and I can feel the weight of everything—my body, the room, the moment. I glance down at my prosthetic leg. Some days, it feels like it’s still not fully mine, and tonight is no different. But I’m here, standing, and that’s what matters.

“Thank you all for being here tonight,” I begin, my voice steady, but it’s not as firm as I want it to be. There’s a softness, an edge of vulnerability that I’m still getting used to. “I’m honored to be standing here. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard.”

I pause for a moment, letting the weight of my words sink in. The room is silent, waiting, but I can feel the rush of emotions—the fear, the sadness, the anger. It’s all still there, just beneath the surface.

“A little over two months ago, I was attacked by a shark. I never thought I’d be saying those words. I never thought I’d be standing here, in front of all of you, sharing this part of my story. But here I am.”

I take a breath, my fingers gripping the podium a little tighter. “I lost my leg in the attack. And every day since has been a challenge. Learning to walk, finding my balance again, re-learning how to move—some days, it feels like I’ll never get there. Some days, it’s hard to even imagine it.”

My prosthetic feels heavy. But I refuse to let it hold me back. “But here’s the thing: I’m still here. I’m still alive. And I’m not going to let fear or anger dictate my life. I’m not going to vilify sharks for what happened to me.”

I look out at the crowd, letting the silence stretch for a moment, knowing this might be hard for some to hear. “The ocean is a beautiful, dangerous, unpredictable place. But it’s also home. Home to creatures—creatures who are just like us, trying to survive. Sharks are part of that world. They’re not monsters. They’re not villains. They are part of an ecosystem that we’ve spent too long trying to control and destroy.”

I shift my weight slightly, feeling the prosthetic shift with me. It’s not easy. It’s a reminder of the new reality I’m facing every single day. But I won’t let it stop me.

“I could have chosen to live in fear. I could have let this experience shape me into someone who hated sharks, who wanted revenge. But that’s not going to help anyone. It won’t stop attacks from happening, and it certainly won’t help protect the oceans. We need to stop vilifying sharks. They’re misunderstood. And it’s on us to change the narrative.”

I take a slow breath, my voice catching for just a moment. “I’m standing here today because I want to make sure that when people hear my story, they don’t just see a victim. I want them to see someone who is choosing to use what happened to her as a way to educate, to make a difference. I’m not here to spread fear. I’m here to spread understanding.”

I look toward Robert, who’s standing by. His face is soft, filled with admiration, and it gives me strength to keep going.

“I know the ocean is a dangerous place. I know that shark attacks happen. But I also know that sharks are not the enemy. They are essential to our ecosystem. And if we’re ever going to protect them, we need to change how we think about them.”

I let the silence hang for a moment. The words feel like they’re settling into the room, into my heart.

“I’ve been through a lot in the past two months. And I’m still adjusting, still figuring out how to live in this new body. But I’m still here. And I will keep talking about sharks. I will keep spreading awareness about the importance of protecting them. I’m not going to let this experience define me. I’m going to let it empower me.”

The room is quiet for a beat, and then the applause starts—soft at first, then louder, stronger. I can feel it in my bones, in my chest. This is why I’m here. This is why I’m fighting.

“Thank you,” I say, my voice softer now, a little breathless. I step back from the podium, the relief washing over me.

I barely noticed the applause ending as I slipped offstage. My prosthetic, sleek as it was, felt like a lead weight by now. I scanned the room, looking for somewhere to sit, and Dad appeared, right on cue, his steady hand finding my shoulder.

“You good?” he asked, eyes full of quiet concern.

I took a breath, adjusting my stance. “Fine. Just… it’s been on all night.”

He nodded. “Alright, sit tight. You’ve earned a break.”

Dad and Robert guided me over to a quiet corner, where I sank into a chair with a relieved sigh.

“You nailed it,” Robert said, smiling as he settled into the seat next to me.

“Thanks. Means a lot, coming from an icon like you.” I lifted the prosthetic a few inches. “Could’ve done without lugging this anchor around all night, but… you know, fashion.”

Robert chuckled, a warm, genuine sound that made him feel less like a wildlife star and more like a real person. After a moment, Dad gave my shoulder a gentle pat, a knowing look in his eyes. “I’ll leave you two to it,” he said, and disappeared into the crowd.

Robert glanced at him as he left. “Your dad’s great,” he said. “He told me a little about his rescue work—wildfires and all that. Pretty amazing stuff.”

“Yeah, he slips it in whenever he can. It’s kind of his legacy,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But honestly, I probably wouldn’t be here without him. I mean, I was barely six when he dragged me along to my first beach cleanup.”

Robert’s expression softened. “Like father, like daughter, then?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said. “Been obsessed with the ocean ever since. Guess that’s something we have in common.”

“I get it,” he replied, leaning in slightly, his tone low and thoughtful. “I grew up in it too. The rainforest, the reefs… it’s like they’ve got a pulse, you know? You think you’re in control, but you’re really not.”

I smiled, nodding. We spent the next half hour swapping stories, like we’d known each other for years. He talked about diving in the Great Barrier Reef, rescuing stray joeys in the outback, and the strangely adorable quirks of orphaned wallabies. I shared memories of dawn surf sessions, early morning runs along the shore, and the quiet peace of just me and the waves.

“Surfing’s my blood,” I told him. “It’s like church out there—me and the ocean. Clears my head like nothing else.”

He nodded, understanding. “And it’s not just a hobby for you, huh? It’s like a philosophy, almost.”

“Exactly.” I smiled, grateful that he got it. “It’s more than a place. The whole ecosystem, it’s like… a family. And I’d do anything to protect it.”

As I spoke, he was quiet, listening, and I felt this unspoken understanding settle between us, like he got me in a way most people didn’t. Just as I was about to ask him something, he glanced at his watch, frowning slightly.

“Ah… actually, I’m heading back to Australia soon,” he said. “Family stuff.”

“Oh yeah?” I replied, keeping my tone light. “Don’t you ever get tired of hopping around the world, saving wildlife and all?”

He laughed softly, shaking his head. “Not exactly. But… listen, have you ever been to Australia?”

I shook my head. “Always wanted to go. I was basically raised on Crocodile Hunter reruns.”

He studied me for a moment, eyes narrowing as if he were weighing an idea. “So… you’d be game for it?”

“Absolutely,” I said, thinking it was hypothetical.

He paused, looking away, then back at me with something almost nervous in his expression. “Well, what if you came back with me?”

I blinked, caught off guard. “Wait—seriously?”

“Yeah,” he said, grinning, a bit of that carefree charm reappearing. “I know it’s a little random. But think about it—I could show you the reefs, the outback. There’s this wildlife rehabilitation project we’ve been working on with the zoo, helping with the recovery of the dugong population along the coast. We’ve been monitoring the ecosystem, trying to protect it from illegal fishing and pollution. Thought you might be into it. It’s all about preserving what’s left out there.”

It was a crazy offer, the kind that seemed too good to be true. But as he looked at me, waiting, my heart raced.

He was serious. The question hung there between us, and I couldn’t help but wonder…

TAGS: @nicolej04 @honethatty12 @serenityisanerd @acdassenza @em-writes-posts @serenityisanerd @amanda08319 @x-d1vine @moonlighthycanith @hippiemuppet @sonthingwithl @ajuice-matts @lflores2008 @ac3may

Let me know if you'd like to be on the tag list for the next part! Until next time, XOXO.

[coraniaid]

Of all of Buffy’s (many) retcons, I think the one I’m most conflicted about is the introduction of the Watcher’s Council in Season 3.  

That this is indeed a retcon – and not just the show gradually revealing something it had always secretly factored into its world-building – is, I think, pretty hard to dispute.  We’ve known of Watchers other than Giles for a while – Kendra’s Watcher Sam Zabuto is named but unseen in Season 2’s What’s My Line?, and Buffy’s original Watcher is seen but unnamed during the flashbacks in the same season’s Becoming – but it’s only in Season 3’s Faith, Hope & Trick that we start to be told that these other Watchers have any sort of internal structure of leadership, let alone one that sidelines Giles himself.  And the (retroactive) existence of the Council raises obvious questions (How did Kendra and her Watcher not know Sunnydale already had a Slayer?  Why was Giles not told that another Slayer had been called?  What do all the Watchers who don’t have a Slayer to train actually do all day?) that the show is rather typically uninterested in answering.

On the one hand, I think this retcon has some potential – Quentin Travers in particular is quietly one of the show’s better human villains –  and I’d stand by what I’ve said in the past about the show not really utilizing the Council enough after Season 3.  They show up a few more times, of course, but one gets the impression the writers grew pretty tired of the concept and found it pretty limiting from a story-telling perspective.  Notably Buffy herself insists that “there’s no all-knowing council” in Season 7’s Selfless (and this is before the Council gets blown up).  

After Season 3, the Council primarily exists to occasionally show up to try to kill Faith (or Buffy in Faith’s body) and otherwise stand around being pompous and useless in the face of any actual supernatural threat.  I do kind of wish the show had done more with the idea than this.  As it is, the Council is one of those many parts of Buffy’s worldbuilding that seems to have a position in the fandom that is not quite proportional to the relative lack of attention it is given by canon. 

On the other hand, the mere existence of the Council does slightly odd things to Giles’s established backstory.  In particular, he goes from being somebody a lot like Buffy – somebody who was told at a young age he had a destiny which he had no choice but to comply with – to … well, having an employer.  Having a job, the very thing we’re repeatedly told that Slaying isn’t for Buffy.  And unlike Buffy, Giles even gets paid, at least if Season 5’s Checkpoint is to be believed. This makes Giles a little less sympathetic than I think he was intended to be in the first two seasons.

Yet equally -- and in the opposite direction -- the Council as a concept tends to be used – both by the writers and the wider fandom – to represent the more negative aspects of the idea of a Watcher, often in a way that means pretending that those same aspects aren’t present in Buffy’s own Watcher.  

The most blatant example of this, I think, is the way that, in Checkpoint, Giles’s own complicity in Season 3’s Cruciamentum is handwaved away, with Buffy reacting to news that the Council are heading to Sunnydale by telling Giles: “I don’t trust them … they put me through that test” [emphasis added].  I mean, you just have to watch Helpless to realize that this is a very odd spin on the events of that episode (did Quentin Travers drug Buffy?  Did he lie to her face about it afterwards?  Did he listen to her dismay at the prospect of losing her powers forever and say nothing?).

And we often see this selective criticism of the concept of Watchers in the wider fandom too, particularly when it comes to Buffy’s temporary new Watcher Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.  I mean: yes, obviously, Wesley seems pretty clueless about the reality of life on a Hellmouth and blatantly owes his selection as Watcher to nepotism.  But that was true of Season 1 Giles as well.  

In rewatching that first season especially Giles often seems incredibly ill-prepared for the task at hand.  It takes him weeks to work out who Angel is (something Kendra manages in seconds, because – she tells us – “I read about him”).  He frequently gets the dates of important prophecies wrong (in Never Kill A Boy On The First Date), or is wrongly dismissive of his Slayer’s intuitions (in The Pack, in The Puppet Show), he reacts to the discovery of new supernatural threats and dangers with a slightly inappropriate level of academic glee (“Witchcraft … it’s classic!” in Witch, in response to the news that a student has been blinded and almost killed), he is somewhat hostile to perspectives and attitudes other than his own (Buffy’s attempts to join the cheerleading squad in Witch again, for example, or his arguments with Jenny Calendar in I Robot, You Jane).  

These are all very like the ways in which Wesley himself is shown to behave, especially in his attempts to micromanage his Slayers and in his misplaced confidence that Balthazar is definitely dead.  And this isn’t a coincidence.  I think it’s a very intentional writing choice.  This similarity is the reason why the show introduces Wesley: he is very clearly meant to be a (version of) a younger Giles.  (Note, in particular, the way they unconsciously mirror each other’s glasses-cleaning routine in Bad Girls.)

And as for nepotism, well.  The first Watcher other than Giles the show talks about isn’t either of the examples I gave above.  It’s Giles’s own father.   In Season 1’s Never Kill A Boy On The First Date, Giles tells Buffy:

“I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher.  He was one [...] and I was to be next.”

Later, in Season 2, we find out that Giles dropped out of Oxford and abandoned his preparations to become a Watcher, dabbled with using magic and summoning demons for personal gain, and ended up getting a man killed.  And yet, despite this, he somehow manages to go back to Oxford, graduate, and become a Watcher.  How do you explain that level of special treatment if not nepotism?  Do the Council pull strings to get Buffy back into college after she drops out?  Did they turn a blind eye to Gwendolyn Post’s misuse of magic? Do they seem relaxed about Faith's role in a man's accidental death?

(This is, I think, largely unintenional on the part of the writers. There is a significant difference between the original Season 1 idea of Giles -- somebody who was compelled to be a Watcher from the age of ten because his father was one and he doesn't get a choice in the matter -- compared to the later (implied) Season 3/Season 5 idea of a Giles who got a (paying) job as a Watcher because his father was one but is, in fact, ultimately replacable and can be -- and eventually is -- fired from or rehired to do this job.)

And note that I don’t think any of this makes Giles a bad character (or even a bad person, if you care about that sort of thing): he has to be flawed, or Buffy would have far fewer problems and far less agency of her own and the show simply wouldn’t work.  He gets better at acting as a mentor to Buffy over time (well, until he doesn’t).  He obviously does care a lot about Buffy’s well-being, right from the beginning, even if this affection is shaped and constrained by his own upbringing and the fact he believes himself responsible for the fact she will very likely be killed in the pursuit of the Calling he has trained her for.  They do both have destinies, but Buffy’s destiny is to die and Giles’s destiny is to watch.

But it’s very odd to see, for example, people convincing themselves that the Council sending Wesley to Sunnydale, despite his inexperience – and apparently for no better reason than because his father is a big deal and the Slayer he’d be monitoring already managed to get her first Watcher killed and nobody more senior wants the job – represents some big change in how the Council operate (well, retroactively operate, that is, if we agree to pretend they existed in Season 1).  

This has to be why they sent Giles himself, doesn’t it?  He can’t have been their first choice if they were picking on merit and experience.  If he was, why do they so regularly keep him in the dark?  The difference is, of course, is that the audience finds Wesley very irritating and he is treated by the show as an antagonist, or at least a nuisance, but we are already predisposed to like Giles (and yes, to be clear, I do like Giles).  And in Season 1, the audience is just as ignorant of the show’s later worldbuilding as Giles is, so his omissions and errors seem less obvious.  It’s only after the show starts building up the idea of the Whirlwind as a huge deal (in Checkpoint, again, we see that there are Watchers who wrote whole theses on them), that Giles not having the first clue who Angelus or Spike were until after Buffy met them starts to seem a little weird.

But the fact that the Watcher’s Council is written to exaggerate the problems with the concept of a Watcher shouldn’t mean that we retroactively pretend those problems didn’t exist before then, or that Giles is somehow blameless or unaffected by them.  And I think it’s a shame that both the writers and the fandom often act as though it does.  Those flaws and contradictions are what makes Giles interesting!

(Actually, while I'm on the subject I guess I'll admit I'm still a little irritated years later by the fact that the hosts of Buffering watched Revelations and somehow decided that, of the two people claiming to be Watchers in this episode, it was Gwendolyn Post who was the face of the patriarchy.  Because, sure, Rupert Giles is a man who works for a largely male-dominated and centuries old organization, an organization that has traditionally given itself the job of telling young woman what to do, and canonically he only has this job because his father had it before him, and none of these things apply to Gwendolyn Post at all -- she isn't even a real Watcher anymore -- but ... uh.  Well, we like Giles and she's kind of rude to him, so I guess none of that matters and words don’t mean anything.  The patriarchy only benefits people we don’t like, doesn’t it?

After all, that nice Mr Giles can’t possibly be a representative of the patriarchy.  Why, he’s Buffy’s Dad!)

[candlemouse]

Warrenessa Fablehaven Edits

except we do not have significant footage and I am not an editor so it's actually me just writing out what I would do if both of those previous statements were not true

Is this insane? Yes. Was my train delayed by 40 min today w/no service? Yes + might be related

Italics are lyrics. Small is my reasoning or film direction! Click below for more

imgonnagetyouback - Taylor Swift

I see this one from the perspective of Vanessa after the betrayal / falling in love again.

I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move / Push the reset button, we're becoming something new

Here, the song kind of hits the beats on the syllables of "we're becoming something new," and I would have like those flashes of them from the earliest form we see them, to the betrayal, and to Zzyzx and after. Highlight maybe Vanessa winking at Warren. She would have done this. Or the other way around

Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too"

I would use the Sphinx + Vanessa here (not Errol bc I don't really interpret their relationship as meaningfully romantic) and maybe Elise bc tbh when I first read these books as a kid, I thought they were together. But, no, Kendra just wonders if Warren thinks she's pretty. That was enough for me when I was 8 though lol. Also could put Dougan in. Not that I think him and Warren have a relationship but bc I think it would be close enough

Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you

Leaving the Inverted Tower, when Vanessa is bound by rope, but a clip where she looks at Warren?

Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) / We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh) / Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same" / Pick your poison, babe / I'm poison either way

This last half of the bridge is just so perfect for them I don't even need to elaborate! Pick your poison? Have both scenes of battle between them + kissing!

The Promise - When in Rome

This would be a short edit about longing!

I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say / (I promise you)

If you listen to the song, the syllables hit harder/slower/something different after "right." So the beginning is like a couple second scene of them interacting but after "right", on the syllables, there's jump cuts between them. Maybe times when they've been at odds.

I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be / (I promise you)

Now, im using made up footage so ideally here I would use a scene from my warrenessa fic where he talks to her (in the dungeon) after the inverted tower battle, but a shot where Vanessa's Face is framed by bars

And if I had to walk the world I'd make you fall for me / I promise you, I promise you I will

Clips of Vanessa on her field trip w/Seth + the satyrs, literally traveling the world (an outcome is that she sees Warren again)

I will, I will

Here, I would use footage of Vanessa sitting on the beach alone at the lighthouse and Warren sitting down and joining her. It would be a shot from the back with the ocean in front of them and you can't see their faces. This will be a scene in my fic but also could be plausible bc I bet if Fablehaven was a TV show they would show the confrontation between Warren/Vanessa on lighthouse beach instead of just hinting at it. At least in my ideal world

Soft fade to black with the music fading (as the 80's loved to do)

The Black Dog - Taylor Swift

I see this one from Warren's perspective immediately after Inverted Tower betrayal.

I move through the world with the heartbroken / My longings stay unspoken / And I may never open up the way I did for you

Sad clips of Warren -> flashback clips of them being cute in the Knights. I really thinking of them every time I hear that last line. Bc will Warren ever open up like that again after betrayal/deception?

And all of those best laid plans / You said I needed a brave man / Then proceeded to play him / Until I believed it too

Flashback clips again of the Knights era w/Vanessa being strong/kind etc to Warren. She's acting! An actor. This fits so well guys u don't even know

And it kills me / I just don't understand... / How you don't miss me / In the shower / And remember / How my rain-soaked body / Was shaking

"And it kills me" -> scene of vanessa handing Warren the sword in Inverted Tower and then for lines after: Ideally a rain kiss scene! (But I don't know of one) Other scenes work as well

Do you hate me?

Transition where old flashback Warren cuts to sad Warren. You know like where they're in the same kind of position so the transition is like seamless? I've watched too many edits

Was it hazing? / For a cruel fraternity I pledged / And I still mean it

Fraternity -> Knights of the Dawn (I mean like oh my gee yes!!!) This part could have the audio of like Warren reciting the pledge (or Kendra when she was being initiated) underneath

Old habits die screaming

This has the iconic huge like drums or whatever so I think jump cuts of various clips of vanessa + Warren would be perfect, and it's all the really dramatic, big scenes

Six weeks of breathing clean air / I still miss the smoke

Since the song gets quiet, the scenes get "quiet." Clips of mundane things like Warren pouring coffee, waiting at baggage terminal (in GotSP), stuff like that. Also I wrote a fic with this title about Warren too 🫣

Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke? / Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes / And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons

Clips of Inverted Tower Battle, on house we have establishing shot of Warren's cottage, and clothes had a shot of the knights of dawn garb

Even if I die screaming

Warren falling through the air half-dead in inverted tower battle scene

And I hope you hear it

Cut to Vanessa watching him fall and pierce the big cat

Honorable mentions:

guilty as sin by tswift (can you tell a certain album came out when I started writing the warrenessa fic?

bite the hand by boy genius (this is quite literally the title of the vanessa fic. for good, good reason!!!!)

and ofc iconic "always an angel never a god" audio from boy genius's "not strong enough" as well

[septnautical]

Hybrid Creation Logs

SH-003

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Notes from observation of stalker human hybrid SH-003 from Dr. Kendra Danan:  10-21-2228 SH-003 is showing signs of very high intelligence and is already picking up language despite his mental age. The other hybrids did not show this much absorption of knowledge at the same stage. However, he seems to have attached himself to Dr. Peter von Schneeplestein, a visitor from the Teuton Alteran branch, who still have ties to their ancient German roots- keeping that fascinating culture alive, much like the Mongolians from Torgal. Which means- SH-003 has caught a slight jumbled accent and has found a preference for using German sayings. Much like how SE-002 has a slight Irish accent thanks to constant interaction with Dr. Xander. A strange phenomenon to be sure but… fascinating. And adorable…  Oh and he’s quite popular with the other scientists. Mostly because a mutation caused his body to be more white and his underbelly to be more aqua. Peter squealed to everyone that he looked like he was wearing a white coat like us- and now I can’t un-see it!  Also, it’s evident that SH-003 had some sight issues. He seems to be near-sighted and accommodations have been made- including specially goggles for him to wear. You’d think being genetically modified would rectify such an ailment but it must be passed down from Mcloughlin’s genes.  I think he’s nearing the age where we first introduced SE-002 to RR-001. And the results of their integration have been wildly successful. Both boys are more lively than ever before. I am worried about introducing a predator to two pacifists but… SH-003 seems to be on the gentler side as well. Really, he only showed true signs of predator-like aggression during his first two weeks and when he feels threatened. Perhaps, they will all get along?  However, his near twin subject SD-004 is a different story entirely… 

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“CHASEEEE!!” 

The rabbit Ray merman was awoken by Jack practically bouncing on where his stomach met his tail. He groaned and try to hide his face under one of his wings. “What? Can’t I sleep in a little longer?” Chase yawned. 

“Not today!” Jack protested, slapping his hands down on Chase’s side. “The white suits said we’re meeting the new hybrid today!! So you gotta get up!! C’mon!!” 

Chase groaned again and flopped over to hide his face in the sand. “5 more minutes…” 

“Chaseee!!” Jack whined, flopping onto the older hybrid’s back. He curls some of his tails around Chase’s tail and mumbles, “Aren’t you excited to meet a new brother?” 

“Course I am,” Chase muttered back, cheek pressed into the sand. “I just wanna be more awake when we meet him is all-“

“You’ll sleep most of the morning if I don’t wake you!” Jack protests. 

Chase chuckles, “s’not my fault the sand is warm and cozy…” He then flips over quickly and grabs Jack, pinning him in a hug against his stomach. “C’mon…! Don’t you wanna cuddle a bit longer with your big bro, Jack?” 

Jack screeches and squirmed in Chase’s hold, “Nooo! You’re squishing me! Chaseee!!” 

They both suddenly freeze as they hear the sound of a hatch opening and something new entering the water. A cautious voice calls out, “um… h-hallo?” 

Jack squeals in delight and hits multiple of his tails in Chase’s face, making the older boy cry out and rub at it  as the younger brother speeds through the water towards the voice. 

In the open water is a tiny merman with a white and aqua tail. He has light green hair like sea moss and purple stripes along his tail and even on his arms. His tail fin is big and wide and he has several large dorsal fins running up his back. And, he has goggles on, which surround the same blue eyes Chase and Jack had. Those eyes look out shyly as he holds his arms tight to his middle. 

Jack gasps in delight at seeing the new hybrid. “Oh my stars…! A stalker!! You’re so tiny!!” 

The new hybrid startles at the new voice and looks at Jack with wide eyes. “Oh uh- h-hallo and uh… t-thank you, I suppose…?” 

Chase soon swims up beside Jack and laughs. “He’s about the size you were when you first got here, Jack!” 

“Aw really? I guess I must be growing a lot!” Jack giggles. Chase ruffles his hair then smiles at the new hybrid. “Hi there. I’m Chase and this is Jack- what are you called?” 

The stalker hybrid nervously messes with his fingers. “Oh uh… mein name is SH-3…” 

“Why do you talk like that?” Jack suddenly pipes up, tilting his head at SH. 

SH’s mood shifts quickly as he scowls and flicks his tail in agitation, “why do you talk like that?” He counters with a huff. 

Chase holds up his hands with a nervous laugh, “J-Jack didn’t mean anything by it! We just… haven’t heard anyone talk like you much… maybe some of the other doctors… but not much.” 

“We gotta give you a name that matches!” Jack says excitedly. 

“W-What do you mean?” SH stammers, “I already have a name! It is-“ 

“No no! That one doesn’t count!” Jack emphasizes, “You need a name like the white suits! Something that doesn’t make us sound like- like an es… esperimint-“ 

“Experiment, Jack…” Chase provides gently. Jack nods eagerly, “yeah that! We’re more than just that- we should get names that are more than just letters and numbers!!” 

SH seems to contemplate this before he slowly nods. “Mmm… o-okay… I… I think I would like that…” 

“Great!” Jack says excitedly, his tails twirling to show it. Then he hums and looks at SH with a critical eye. The tiny merman squirms a bit under the gaze. Finally, Jack pipes up with, “I’m getting a couple names from you! Guess it’s other white suits you know- like… Fitz! Orrr Nikolai? Or hm… Henrik?”

Chase perks up at this and smiles, “He seems like a Henrik, not gonna lie.” 

SH’s eyes roll and he scoffs, crossing his arms. “Please… those are all ridiculous names! If you’re gonna use the scientists' names you might as well call me… H-Henrik von Schneeplestein or something!” He grumbles, thinking of Dr. Peter. Though, he had to admit… thinking of sharing a name with him almost made SH feel… warm?

Jack and Chase exchange looks before the two of them grin at SH. “We could call you Schneep!” Jack says mischievously. Chase giggles and nods, “Yeah I like that!” 

SH quickly flushes and looks away with raised shoulders, “…please just… stick with Henrik… I suppose I… like that.” 

“Aww but Schneep is fun to say!” Jack giggles and starts to float around the stalker mer, “Schneep! Schneep! Schneep! Schneeep!!” 

Chase laughs and pulls Jack back after a bit, “Alright, little bro- give him some space!” 

Henrik seems to perk up at this, “…bro? What does this mean?”

The rabbit Ray blinks, “Oh! Short for brother! Cuz… that’s what we all are, you know?”

Henrik’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, “…we are? I thought brothers were ah… human. Human family members.” 

Jack snorts and then goes to grab Henrik’s hands in his. “We are brothers though! Cuz- cuz Xander says we all have the same human DNS-“ 

“DNA, Jack-“ Chase snickers. 

“Oh yeah! DNA! And he says that makes us related! Even if our fish parts are different!” Jack beams. “So now! You’re our new little brother, Henrik!” 

The stalker merman’s eyes seem to sparkle as he slowly goes to grip Jack’s hands back. He smiles, “O…okay… brothers. Yes I… I think I would like that…” 

Jack and Chase beam and then bring Schneep in for a hug. Henrik stiffens a bit but soon finds himself laughing and enjoying the contact. They were so warm. 

Jack soon grabs Henrik and leads them all off to go play. Henrik seems to have trouble keeping up with their energy- since he liked to spend a lot of his time in his own tank watching the education videos the white suits gave him. But, he tries his best. 

Soon enough, the lights dim and the boys all start to head towards their sleeping area. Henrik is being led by Jack but seems… nervous. He always felt strange at night. More… angry. But he didn’t know why. 

Chase flops into the little nest Jack and him have made- filled with soft kelp, writhing weeds, violet beaus red wort and spotted dock leaves. All hidden amongst the tall creepvines that surrounded the edge of the tank. There’s a small indent in the sand that is clearly made from how Chase curls up in his spot, yawning loudly. Jack laughs and then rushes at Chase and flops onto his side. Chase seems to anticipate this though as he opens up his arm without opening his eyes as Jack eagerly curls around under Chase’s wing. The older merman squints open an eye, looking at how Jack’s tails hardly fit anymore and chuckles. “You’re almost too big to keep hiding under there, Jackaboy-“ 

Jack sticks his tongue out at Chase and scoots back so his head is lifting up the edge of his wing like a floppy hat. “Too bad! Your wing is too comfy! I’m never leaving!” Chase just laughs and shakes his head. 

Henrik hovers anxiously at the edge of the space, unsure if he should join or not. His nerves feel like they’re on fire. 

Lost in his train of thought, he doesn’t notice Jack lashing out a hand to grab his fin and try to pull him in until he feels the tug. “C’mon Schneep! Join the pile!”

“Do not touch me!” Henrik suddenly hisses, his teeth looking sharper and his pupils turning more slitted. Jack gasps and shudders under Chase’s fin, looking scared. “Ah I… I’m sorry! I…” 

Henrik’s face falls and he scoots back, all aggression fading. He looks equally as scared as he stammers, “I-I… I will go s-sleep somewhere else… g-goodnight!” And then, in a flurry of bubbles, he spurs quickly away from the other two to the other side of the tank. 

Chase lifts up his head and looks concerned. He quickly turns over to hug Jack to his chest and wrap him up in his wings. 

“I… I didn’t mean to make him mad I…” Jack sniffles. Chase gently shushes him. “It’s okay, Jack… this is all probably a lot for him…” 

Jack rubs at his eyes and looks over to where Henrik swam off. “…I don’t think he meant it either… he looked scared.” 

“He’s probably not used to being around other people… you were a lot for me to get used to when you first got here.” Chase tries to laugh. Jack rests his head on Chase’s chest and hums, thinking. “… maybe he just… misses his old tank? But… isn’t that lonely?”

“Maybe… sometimes people like being alone. I don’t get it but… maybe Henrik is like that.” Chase answers quietly. 

Suddenly, there’s a quiet knock on the glass next to the boys and they both startle up. There’s a man at the window, one they don’t recognize, with goggles like Henrik’s and brighter brown-blond curly hair. He smiles at the boys and then points to the hatch nearby. Chase narrows his eyes but then scoops up Jack to go over to the hatch. The scientist opens it up and hangs in the open air part, fidgeting nervously, “Ah I am- sorry to intrude. I hope I did not wake you two…” 

“You talk just like Henrik!” Jack gasps in delight. The doctor blinks and then laughs with a soft, kind expression. “Oh? Did you give a name to SH then? Ha… that is very fitting.. I do not know why I did not think of it…” 

“The letter names are icky- we don’t like them,” Jack said plainly. The doctor laughs, “I can agree with that. Perhaps I can learn all of yours in time… You all can call me Peter though… Dr. Peter. I ah- watch over SH- …Henrik.” 

“We don’t gotta wait till later! I’m Jack and this is Chase!” Jack said brightly, patting Chase on the chest. Chase smiles shyly. “Hi… Dr. Peter. nice to meet you.” 

Dr. Peter smiles warmly, “it is a pleasure… those names all suit you wonderfully…” 

“What do you want? Did you need to see Schneep?” Jack asks plainly. 

Peter’s eyes widen, “…Schneep?”

“Oh- that’s the other name I wanna call him. He said a long name from another doctor like… schneeple-eplestein… I like how Schneep sounded though so I wanna call him that too! He tries to act like he doesn’t like it but I can tell he does.” Jack answers. 

The white suit looks surprisingly touched and smiles even more warmly at the boys. “I see… well… I did come because of S-Schneep, yes.” He pulls something out from his pocket and places it in the water part of the hatch. It’s a well worn piece of scrap metal, with various teeth marks and scratches on its surface. “…He can get very bitey and snippy at night… but I know having this helps him calm down enough to sleep. I was worried he would be missing it…” 

Chase and Jack’s eyes widen as they look at the scrap then back up at Peter. Chase smiles and gives the doctor a meaningful look. “…you really care about him, huh?” 

Peter’s face flushes and he adjusts his glasses. “I mean… I… I suppose I do but… how could I not? You all are… human too. More human than fish- you are just… children. You all need that care, ja?” He laughs. 

Jack giggles and quickly goes to grab the scrap. “We’ll give it to Henrik right away! Thank you, Dr. Peter. Come visit him a lot, okay?” As he says this- he feels a tight tug in his chest. When was the last time he really got to see Xander…? 

Peter chuckles and nods. “I will… and I will uh- be seeing you boys around then? Ah… be sleeping tight, okay?” He says a bit awkwardly before closing the hatch. He stiffly waves to the boys before hurrying out. 

“…I like him!” Jack grins. Chase laughs and adjusts Jack in his arms. “yeah- I like him too. It’ll be nice to have a new face around.” 

“Yeah like- Dr. Goodall is nice and all but… he’s funny. And I really think he cares.” 

“Hey! Dr. Goodall cares…” Chase tries to protest. 

“Yeah but… he feels different. Dunno why…” Jack says with a shrug. Then he squirms out of Chase’s grip and swims up, holding the scrap. “I’m gonna go find Schneep! Be right back!” 

Then, he rockets off before Chase can protest or try to follow. He would but… Jack was better at finding things then he was. And he’s so sleepy. He yawns and slowly floats back down into their nest. 

Jack swims around to look for Henrik- finally hearing or… feeling him inside another collection of creepvines on the opposite side of the tank. He pushes aside the leaves and shouts out excitedly, “Henrik! Look wh-!” 

He then pauses as he sees and smells blood in the water. Jack gasps as he looks down to see Henrik curled up into a ball, digging sharp looking claws into his arms and drawing out orange blood. 

“H-Hey! Henrik, stop that!” Jack shouts as he spurs down and tries to pull Henrik’s hands away from his arms. Henrik growls and lashes out, striking claws across Jack’s cheek. “I said do not touch me!” Henrik screeches, then balks as he sees the orange curling off of Jack’s cheek into the water. Jack touches the cuts thoughtfully and looks at his hand. “…that hurt… huh- haven’t really gotten hurt before…” 

“I-I-! I am so sorry I…!” Henrik stammers, tears in his eyes as his little body shakes. He hugs his arms close to his chest. “I-I did not mean to… I- y-you scared me and…!” 

Jack quickly swims down and holds out his hands. “Hey hey it’s okay! I can tell you didn’t want to… your head is all jumbled up right now…” 

Henrik stares at Jack with wide eyes. “I… y-yes I… how did you know…?”

Jack shrugs, “I hear lots of things from people without really knowing why or how. Maybe it’s something I’ll understand when I’m older. Point is though, I can tell you don’t wanna hurt people.” 

Henrik slowly nods and curls up more. “…I do not want to… but at night I just… f-feel so angry and I… I do not know why…!”

“Well… if it helps… Dr. Peter came by to give you something…” Jack says gently, going to pass the scrap over to Henrik. The stalker’s eyes light up and he quickly takes the scrap and goes to hold it tightly, claws digging in and tail wrapped around it protectively. Jack laughs, “you really like that thing, huh?”

The tinier merman looks away, cheeks flushing slightly. “…I do not hurt my doctors if I have this at night… and it… it makes me feel safe…” 

“That’s good!” Jack says brightly. “We don’t want our new brother to sleep all alone though! Come on- you can hold that and sleep on your own but at least stay by the nest, okay?” 

Jack offers his hand to Henrik and the stalker mer stares at it for a second before he slowly goes to take it, letting Jack pull him back up in the water. “I… I’m… o-okay…” 

The two of them swim back to the nest where Chase is peacefully dozing. He blinks open his eyes and smiles dazedly at them, “Hey guys-“ then quickly sits up, his eyes going wide. “Stars-! Is that blood?!” 

“Oh yeah but uh- we’re okay!” Jack tries to say calmly as Henrik huddles behind him, his tail trembling a bit. 

Chase swims up and brings them over to sit down on the sand then surges up to grab a couple creepvines leaves. He hurries down and hands one to Jack. “Press that against your cheek.” He says gently. 

Jack blinks and does so. 

Then, Chase goes to take Henrik’s arm but the little merman flinches back and looks scared. Chase smiles softly. “It’s okay… I won’t hurt you.” 

“I… I am afraid of hurting you-“ Henrik whispers. 

Chase laughs and shakes his head. “If you do it’s okay… this is kinda scary. But us brothers gotta stick together, right?” 

Henrik’s eyes widen and then he smiles a bit. He shyly offers his arm to Chase. “..r-right…” Chase beams and takes his arm, going to wrap up the puncture wounds with the leaves and tying them off. 

“Where did ya learn to do this, Chase?” Jack asks. 

“Oh- an informational video about how to survive on the planet from someone who lived here a long time ago.” Chase says casually. “Dr. Goodall says one day we might get to actually go out into the ocean so… figured it’s good to know.” 

Henrik’s eyes sparkle. “oh… I would like to watch that! I… I want to learn to help too! Not.. not to hurt…” 

Chase smiles and ruffles Henrik’s hair. “Sure! I’ll see if we can watch it in the morning! For now though? I’m bushed!” He floats back over to the nest and flops into it, sighing contently. 

Jack checks to make sure his cheek isn’t bleeding anymore then speeds back over and bounces on Chase’s stomach beside settling into place. Chase oofs and glares a bit at Jack before snorting and rolling over. Jack giggles. 

Henrik hesitates, holding his scrap close to his chest. Then, he slowly floats over and then inches his tail to slowly bump up against Chase’s and curl against him. Oh… that contact feels… really nice actually. Henrik seems to get very comfortable very fast, his eyes struggling to stay open. Jack is already breathing softly curled up against Chase’s side, clutching into his wing. 

Chase watches with a smile. “Night, lil bros.”

[j-graysonlibrary]

Heartbeats; Paradise XIX

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction. 

XIX:

It’s the same place!

I grab the nearest body to me which happens to be Kade. Like when Gavin and I fell through, we’re all on our assess so I know I have a moment to stop everyone before we walk into the same trap.

“Wait,” I say as the fear from my past latches back onto me. It’s evident in my voice.

“What?” Kade asks and frowns. I don’t know if he’s realized our change in scenery yet or if he’s just choosing not to acknowledge it. Knowing him, he’s figured it’s useless to mention it.

“I know this place.” I let him go and stand up.

“You do?” Starla asks, also standing. She looks around with confusion etched onto her face but she’s not noticeably perturbed.

Oz stands as well as Kade and I look to Oz who is, other than me, the most distressed by our situation. He frowns as he pokes at a nearby leaf.

“Are we in the real world then?” he asks before turning to settle his gaze on me. “You remembered this from your past, right?”

I nod. “I don’t know if this place is the real world though.”

“Where the fuck are we then?” Kade follows up with less care. He looks up as a bird flies overhead.

“I…don’t know exactly.” I gulp when I realize I’m contradicting myself. Everyone stares at me with expectance but I only have one thing to really bring to the table. “This is just where I died. Me and my husband both died here.”

Oz steps closer and grabs my shoulders. “What?” His stare is intense and, while I’m used to it, with all the other emotions coursing through me, I’m rendered speechless.

“Give him some space,” Starla suggests, “He looks like he just remembered.”

Slowly, Oswald lets me go and steps back. “Sorry…Melvin, can you talk us through what you remember?”

I give a slight nod. He and Starla continue to watch me, anticipation clear on their faces, while Kade starts to pace about and nudge the plants around us with his axe.

After I swallow the lump in my throat, I do my best to retell what happened. The most important aspects, I make sure to stress.

“Whatever that flower thing may be, it’s strong. I don’t think we stand a chance against it.” I can’t watch everyone I care about be cut down by that monster and I’d very much like to remain in one piece as well.

“I don’t see a way back,” Starla says with a sigh.

It’s true that the crack we entered through seems to have been a one-way trip but I can’t overstate how much I don’t want to run into that flower monster again.

“We can look for something together,” Oz responds and offers a fleeting smile for me.

“I can chop the forest down,” Kade suggests and swings his axe around.

Oz points at him. “No.”

He rolls his eyes but sets his axe back in its holster. Starla silently chuckles and I wish I could enjoy the moment as well but my heart still hasn’t restarted and my muscles refuse to relax.

We begin to search the area for anything suspicious. It’s much easier said than done on account of how everything here looks suspicious. I start to touch every plant I see, hoping that the exit will work like the entrance does. Maybe I’ll be sucked back and spit out wherever Kendra is if I just touch the right item.

“I hear running water,” Starla mentions after we’ve been searching for a while. She picks up a rock and inspects it before dropping it to the ground.

“I heard that last time too,” I say with a frown.

“Maybe we can find the source and follow the stream? If this is connected to civilization, we’ll find people eventually, right?”

It’s not a bad plan under regular circumstances but I don’t think, in this case, it’ll be too helpful.

“But if this is a separate reality then it might not work that way,” Oz actually says what’s on my mind.

“I don’t see why we can’t just confront this thing,” Kade mumbles and crosses his arms. “It’s a plant, you said. I’ll just chop it down.”

“And if we need it to let us out?” Oz asks.

“Then we should be seeking it out anyway.”

I don’t like either of their stances even if I feel Oz has a point. I already know how that thing reacts to intruders. I’ve clung to a sense of optimism before, sometimes ignorantly so, but this time I can’t pretend that if we just try really hard the result will be different.

“Melvin?” Starla gets my attention.

“…Yes?” I’m sure I’ve missed something with the way she and the other two look at me.

“We were wondering if we should find the flower thing and try to talk to it…?” She winces prematurely, as if she’s expecting me to yell at her.

I don’t have the strength to do that or the will. My shoulders sag and I close my eyes. “I…Gavin tried talking to it before.”

“Melvin…” Oz steps closer. He reaches out as if he’s going to grab me but he thinks better of it and lets his hands hang at his sides. “We can’t stay here forever just looking for an exit. We should be proactive.”

My stomach sinks. I’m being outvoted, like usual. “…don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he responds, sounding as serious as ever but that just hurts me more.

“That’s what Gavin said too.”

No one responds right away—Starla even looks down.

“Well, we’re not Gavin,” Kade states the obvious as he stares at me, “And you’re not Liam anymore.”

I can’t tell if he’s sick of me holding everyone back or if he’s genuinely trying to make me feel better. I’m so confused by his tone and intent that I almost snap completely out of my fear induced funk.

“I…I know that,” I say.

Kade shrugs. “Then don’t let their fate dictate yours. We could have a chance—you don’t know.”

I find myself jealous of Kade in that moment. Not only do I wish I could think the way he does but I also want to have no memories of my past. They have given me a sense of self but, right now, they do nothing but harm me. I’m not even sure that the lack of a past bothers him or if he’s just creating his personality as he goes.

There’s something freeing about that.

I’m too chained to Liam to understand it.

“Fine,” I concede.

“Lead the way then,” Kade demands and gestures his hand out toward me.

Oz sighs loudly and pushes him in the arm before returning to my side. “I’ll walk with you.”

I nod and let him keep me company as I begin to walk the path of my past destruction. Each step fills my body with dread and I find every movement closer harder—heavier. My lungs strain to keep full and my heart hammers so hard it’s starting to hurt.

The clearing comes into view and I grip Oz’s wrist immediately.

That flower is still there, as I knew it would be, and it’s in a near identical position as last time. It’s lying on the ground and the roots spread out around it, a few arching up over the grass.

“That is a big ass flower,” Kade mentions as he takes it in. He and Starla had been keeping close behind us but, now that we’re where we need to be, he walks out and forward.

“Don’t provoke it,” Starla warns her brother as if she knows exactly what’s on his mind.

Kade sighs and I spot him retract his hand from the handle of his battle axe. “What do we do then?”

“Last time, it awoke at the sound of talking…” I say despite the fact that doesn’t appear to be the case anymore. Otherwise, it would already be up and, probably, trying to dismember Kade if I were to take a guess.

Oswald nods curtly and pries my hand off of him. He shoots me a soft look before walking even closer to the red bud.

I want to yell and tell him to stop but I can’t force the words out. I just reach out and wince.

“We do not mean to enter your home,” Oz says with a loud, clear voice. “I know this is no excuse but we just want a way back to where we came from. Though, preferably, we’d like to be placed into the real world. If you can…we would be most grateful.”

My eyes dart between him and the flower and I watch with a churning gut.

As soon as the flower stirs, a jolt of adrenaline runs through me but I can’t do anything with it. I have to just stand there and endure.

“Ho—ly—” Starla murmurs.

The flower rises up and displays itself the same as before. “You trespassers are back…? No…only one of you returns.”

Everyone glances over at me and, while I notice that from my peripherals, my eyes are stuck to the plant. How does it know it’s still me? I don’t look anything like Liam.

“I sense your confusion. I can simply read your energy,” the flower continues, “What brings you and even more of your kind here?”

“As I said,” Oz replies with the same tone as before. It’s amazing to me that he’s showing no signs of terror. There’s no way he’s not feeling it. “We came here by accident. We just want to leave.”

“I thought I fixed the rip in the world…”

“…Who are you…?” Starla asks, staring at the flower with awe in her eyes.

“No one of your concern,” it responds easily.

“Hey, don’t talk to my sister like that,” Kade warns and I tense even more than I thought possible.

Starla doesn’t miss a beat, however, and comes back with, “Are you the source of IVAR’s power?”

I had not even thought of that. I’m so taken aback by the connection I almost can’t feel my terror anymore. It would make sense. I was killed by this thing and then awoke as Melvin. If it was the heart of IVAR, that would explain how I ended up here when none of the memories I’ve received from Liam show me using the system.

But the flower responds in audible confusion. “Who is Ivar?”

“The system, IVAR,” Starla clarifies. “It stands for Immersive Virtual Alternate Reality. It’s where we entered from.”

“…What…?”

We all exchange glances. I guess that theory is out since the flower does not even know what we’re referring to.

“That’s a bit beside the point,” Oz brings us back to the main problem; “We just need to leave. Could you help us?”

The rumbling that emerges from the flower sends me back and I brace for impact. This time I see the vines whip up around the flower but they don’t slice anyone just yet.

“And why should I?”

“Because he asked fuckin’ nicely,” Kade antagonizes even though I mentally beg him not to.

The blur of green through the air is faster than my reaction time. I’m yelling only after it’s struck down toward Kade. I recoil, expecting a bloody mess when the vine retreats but I find Kade, perfectly fine and in one piece.

He’s…dodged it.

“Ha!” he shouts and takes the axe from his back.

“Kade, no!” I scream but he starts hacking at the roots of the monster anyway.

“Stop!” Starla begs.

Another vine whips toward him and, this time, I don’t think he’ll be able to move quickly enough. Oz still tries to run to Kade regardless and I watch as far too much happens far too fast.

I can only register what’s happened after it’s over and the images lag in my brain, shambling into place. Oz does jump over and Kade is in the midst of swinging his axe against another root. I don’t believe Oz will reach him in time but I had been assuming he was trying to shove Kade out of the way.

He didn’t.

He’s thrown himself in the way and been cut across the middle. As he falls to the ground, Kade finally realizes that we’re all trying to get him to stop.

Kade drops his axe and a second tendril follows the first—a move I don’t even see until it’s slashing him down the front.

When he falls is about the time I absorb everything I’ve seen and I cry out in agony. I knew this would happen again!

I knew I’d lose to this monster again!

Starla’s screaming mixes with mine but not for long as she’s struck down next. I close my eyes and drop to my knees, knowing I’m next.

The searing pain in my chest isn’t even surprising.

But the suddenness of it’s absence is.

My eyes flutter open and I glance down to see the green vine retreating from my torso and, in it’s wake, static and colorful squares fill my wound and I feel much better. I whip my head up and look around at the others who are all stumbling up, their injuries also glitching back together.

“You…aren’t alive?” The flower asks and the bud lowers toward the ground. “Yet you aren’t properly dead either…”

Oz checks his hands as if he’s expecting blood but he then he looks away to stare at the flower. “I guess not.”

The red blossom twitches and I expect another attack though I’m no longer as afraid of it. Instead of a second assault, the petals of the flower begin to bloom and I’m amazed by how much larger it becomes as it opens.

That light I noticed just before Liam’s death shines out but then recedes as more and more of it is revealed. In the center of the flower is a strange shape and I don’t get a good look until the light draws back to just illuminate the form.

It’s like two humanoid creatures embracing and their bodies are glowing. One stands behind the other, wrapping its arms around them and resting their head in the crook of their partner’s neck. The one in the front bears two sets of arms—one pair holds their partner while the other stretches out, slowly swaying on either side of them. The petals fan out around them and, from the being in the back, emerges six wings that vary in color but blend into the petals. Their feet rest on the snake-like stem and, at some points, the stem looks as though it might be a part of their bodies as well.

The sight renders all four of us silent.

It’s a lot to take in.

“You cannot return to the world of the living but you cannot stay here—you are not permitted.” The humanoid in the front says and I can tell because their mouth opens, releasing more light as it does so.

“We can’t go back into IVAR,” Starla counters.

“The news of this IVAR greatly troubles us…” they continue with contemplation in their voice, “If others like yourselves can reach this place through it then it must be dealt with…”

“Hey, you listening?” Kade balks.

To my surprise, they chuckle. I don’t know if it’s just because I am now faced with a more humanoid shape but I swear the flower sounds more pleasant now. I suppose it does help that they aren’t trying to kill us anymore.

“Yes. I cannot give you much but I will do this: I will bestow bodies onto you that will give you access to the larger world. In turn, you must never return here.”

“Deal,” I say without a second thought.

The light from their form starts to grow again and it gets to a point where I have to cover my eyes with my hand. There is warmth in the light and all of my fear and even my hatred for the being are washed away as it passes over me. I almost don’t remember why I ever despised this place.

But it’s gone in a flash and we’re falling into a much darker space. I hear someone let out an “oof” upon contact with the cool, hard floor. I have someone’s knee in my back and I grunt and try to sit up but Kade is over my lap.

“Guys?!” A new voice calls out and I crane my neck up and look around.

It’s still dark but there is a blue glow coming from a computer that sits on the floor a few feet away. And, beside that computer is a large woman. I can only see her outline but I know I’m not familiar with it. Despite this, with her next words, I feel I do actually know her.

“How in the hell are you here?! I was still working on getting you out…what happened?”

[boopsterliv]

What’s up bitches, it’s essay time.

I rewatched ‘School Hard’ again today because my younger sister and I are obsessed with Spike and wanted to watch it with our mom. I loved the Bronze scene today just as much as I did yesterday. Namely, because of the expressions and body language exercised by Buffy and Spike.

Spike studies Slayers. That much is obvious. It also ties into the fact that William was a dutiful student and total nerd, which, I mean, same. While Spike is shown to be very impulsive and impatient, he knows when to wait and study his future victims before attacking. We’re told many times how being a slayer takes a serious toll on mental stability, not to mention relationships of any kind. When he seeks out Buffy for the first time at the Bronze, he’s most likely expecting some nervous wreck, or a girl drunk out of her mind to cope with being the Slayer.

Instead, he sees a girl having a good time dancing with her friends. But most importantly, she’s in her element. Buffy is a natural in every sense of the word, and her fighting is definitely like a dance. She knows the moves and when to do them. Not to mention she’s confident in them. She doesn’t like being the Slayer, far from it, but she knows if she has to do it then she’s going to be the best one in history. Buffy is also an extravert, which Spike might’ve expected would make her worse for wear. Instead, she improvises and ties her social needs in with her duties as the Slayer, which makes her a better one in the process.

The looks Spike makes in this scene are also very telling. You can try to tell me he’s only hunting, but he looks awed. We later see how genuinely impressed with her he is. Slayers only last one to two years on average. All the preparation in the world couldn’t keep even Kendra from dying, and she was a potential and raised from a young age to be a strong fighter. Spike can instantly see Buffy is on a whole level. Later on, when watching the video of her fighting, he sounds so genuinely excited that Buffy is resourceful.

Spike sets up the whole alley scene, wanting to get a look at Buffy’s abilities more closely, since he knows she’s gotta be skilled. And she is, and the expression on Buffy’s face shows this isn’t one-sided. She looked genuinely stunned, which makes sense since this dude just showed up out of the darkness and slow clapped her killing one of his kind. But it’s that same sort of awe he had towards her, and I think it’s because she didn’t notice him until he wanted her to, even if the vamp she just dusted called out for his help.

The school scene is the final nail in the coffin (pun entirely intended). True, Spike is not a patient person, but to attack before Saturday when every vampire would be more powerful? He just wanted to fight her because there’s that spark of chemistry between them. On the flip side, Buffy has never met another vamp who’ll banter with her. Who’ll give her a strong challenge, one that she can spar with. The dance is more fun because her partner is on the same page as she is. That fight was probably long compared to the last two battles Spike’s had with the Slayers he’s killed. Buffy’s expression says it all. She’s scared but intrigued.

The debut episode also works well with underlying chemistry. They have a lot more in common than I’ve seen people give them credit for. They’re both incredibly compassionate, feeling individuals who hide their own emotions in order not to worry anyone around them. They're people pleasers to the ones they really want to keep around. They both snark and banter to avoid talking about their feelings. They know how serious the fighting is even though they’re trying to have some sort of fun with it.

They’ve both been burned before. While they’re in steady(?) relationships, both Buffy and Spike have felt wronged by their partner in the past. Buffy wants Angel to be honest with her and stop running away. Spike wants Drusilla to love him as he is instead of using him. They’re both scared of love at the end of the day. You have to imagine Spike’s surprise at the fact a woman he was battling to the death seemed to have more respect for him than Drusilla. Buffy treated him as an equal even if he was a threat. They’re always on the same wavelength it seems. 

Did this make sense as it kept going? I don’t know, you be the judge of that. Did I have fun writing it? One hundred percent, absolutely. My babies get done so dirty by canon. Let them be fluffy, emotional, and horny please! I also didn’t get around to mentioning the soulless part, but I’ll save that rant for another time.

[ourgreatergood]

Okay, since I wrote that long rant about how I imagine Albus being neurodivergent (more specially autistic and suffering from anxiety) and how it’s always prevalent in my mind, whenever I write him, I’m also sharing it on here:

‪I think it’s especially apparent in his relationship with his siblings (apart from the whole world calling him “eccentric” multiple times), but I always imagine that Aberforth (who I imagine to be incredibly empathetic) is very good with ‬Ariana bc they’re just well neurotypical kids (until Ariana’s incident) and Albus is - well - not. Always caught up in books, which to me, read: hyperfixation, which other kids consider weird and which adults consider adorable up to a point where he seems to be almost anti social bc he is so caught up in his mind that he doesn’t play with the other kids (I magine Kendra to be very ambiguous here too, very proud of her ‘gifted child’ but also at dinner she’d say things like “don’t you have anything else to talk about but that fairy tale?”, “you should go and play with the other kids more often” and he’d say “yes mother”, but really he’d feel very much like an alien in his own home) and Aberforth is just accepting him the way he is, he’s the one, who punches other kids, if they make fun of his weird brother, he’s the one, who listens to Albus’s ramblings about the three brothers even though he doesn’t care about it

And then Ariana is attacked and everythings falls apart and Aberforth is so good with Ariana bc he is just good at accepting people the way they are and Albus is terrified bc even with healthy people he always seems to say the wrong stuff at the wrong time, how is he supposed to interact with Ariana, who seems to have a breakdown at the littlest thing?

And then he goes to school and he’s brilliant and admired and suddenly his gift and power outweighs his eccentricities and he is kind and friendly and polite enough that people like him and his friends are nice and also he’s learned that people don’t want to hear hour long deliberations about fairy tales or dragons or magic, no matter how fascinating he finds it, he has learned the technicalities of lying, of keeping secrets, of holding back, not only because Mother told him to, but also because not revealing his true self was usually the best option, bc no matter how nice people seemed, they still made him feel alien one way or another, wether that is because he talked a little too much about transfiguration, because he can’t stop his leg from bouncing bc he doesn’t even notice but other people do and they find it annoying or simply bc as much as they don’t understand him, he doesn’t get what they’re on about either with their parties and ever changing love interests and gossip, but he learns to seem interested

I also imagine him learning legilimency initially in hopes to understand the people around him more, to connect with his family more, but it ultimately ends up (mostly) with people being annoyed bc he’s looking into their heads

And Aberforth, obviously also very much burdened by the fate of the family and angry about pretty much everything bc what are they even doing? Does love his brother and he knows how he is, but he also needs his older brother and he really has zero nerves to spare and Ariana needs his care while Albus seems to be sufficiently great at school and he really doesn’t understand why it’s so difficult for Albus to be good at school but not good at home, when they all love him

And then Mother dies and Gellert arrives and Gellert is the first and only person, who doesn’t make him feel like an alien, he actually likes to hear Albus’s thoughts, even for hours on end on the same topic (the Hallows for one, Gellert can talk about just as much, so he doesn’t even feel guilty or like a burden, bc he can actually believe he is not too much for Gellert) and how incredible is that? And Gellert is understanding, Gellert knows how his mind works bc his is the same! And what he’s feeling for Gellert is amazing but also so overwhelming and he really cannot focus on his siblings’ needs, which are a whole different can of worms (here comes in anxiety bc how in the name of Merlin is he supposed to manage that? And change is hard anyway and he’d just planned this whole tour and it should have been him shining and all, how everyone has always predicted and he really doesn’t want to be responsible bc he also not good at it, but magic, that’s what he’s good at)

[1eos]

miss kendra, you rlly were telling the truth that anyone in a fandom has worms for brains/brainrot. i was watching this vid on yt talking abt the whole rv behavior scandal. i was expecting at least reasonable ppl in the comment section but to no surprise, we got fans defending the members and calling the employees 'clout chasers' just bc they happened to reveal this during rv's cb -_- and as someone who happened to work in customer service some time ago, this just pissed me off bc celebrities being rude are more likely bc they have fame, money, and influence which has been proven to fuel egos and turn them into entitled divas.

they even said they wanted proof and i was like 'do they not realize that most of the time these incidents just happen spontaneously so it's impossible to get proof???' toxic stan culture is cancer is2g... and the fact that they were calling the members 'nice girls' as if they personally knew them further solidified my belief that there is truly no hope for these ppl. ppl said the same thing abt kr*s w* and look where he is now... they haven't learned and will never learn at all.

😞hate being right abt these kinds of things but ….the fandom brain rot has sunk into the core of the earth it feels like. just the other day i got some article recced to me abt fans talking abt the ‘real’ personality of red velvet aka just insisting theyre nice and i was like ???????????? but you’re fans??????? you don’t fucking know them?????? i dont doubt some ppl have had positive interactions with celebs the same way i dont doubt the service workers stuck dealing w all the divas of the world have had BAD experiences.

idk why fans refuse to understand that in a controlled event meant FOR fans ofc these celebs are going to be nicer. and personally i think how u treat customer service workers shows your true self. oh and when they think these ppl working are trying to get money or clout…..girl WHAT CLOUT??? WHAT MONEY? stan culture is so insane you don’t get sh*t for complaining abt a celeb but death threats. which is stupid bc if your fave got a bad attitude thing leaked you knowwwwwwwwwwwwww workers have BEEN talking shit abt you like these things don’t come up overnight my friend who loves celeb gossip has told me abt multiple celebs w the workers around them calling them cunts just for a while later it to surface for real. and what kills me is smaller things will crop up and fans will defend their faves whether it be being a menace to service workers or being a creep to women (i can name at least 5 ppl w accusations of assault that fans have buried) but the MOMENT it gets big and can’t be buried they flip the script and go ‘oh i always had a bad feeling abt them’ did you really? and every time a celeb gets exposed ppl make posts abt not knowing your idols then…..turn around and act like they know some other idol its insane

[tornadodyke]

okay another thing i do think is funny about knox and tess is that kendra and seth automatically assume this role of Tired/Protective Older Cousin. whether that be trying to warn them of the dangers ahead or putting up with their naïvety about the magical world and it’s REALLY funny to me when it’s seth doing it because. again. he and knox are the same age. but seth IS much more experienced than him. and knox (when he’s complaining) DOES kind of sound like how seth used to in the early books of fablehaven. like

“Are you an expert with cursed castles?” Seth asked.

“Are you an expert dragon fighter?” Knox countered.

“I killed one with Kendra,” Seth said.

“Really?” Knox asked, surprised.

“A poison one,” Seth said.

“Well, maybe you have some experience, but you had to start someplace,” Knox said.

“True,” Seth said. “Do you get that you might die? We all might.”

[...]

“At least we have some experience,” Kendra said.

“Did you have experience the first time?” Knox asked. “This is my second attempt to save Wyrmroost. The first time I saved it without even knowing what I was doing.”

“He’s determined,” Seth said.

“This is life and death,” Kendra said. “Emphasis on death. We’ve had friends die.”

[...]

“I finally get to spend real time with dragons, and they look like people?” Knox complained.

“You just rode a flying camel through a sky full of ghosts,” Seth said. “Be grateful.“

and these are absolutely not all of them is the thing. there are SO many more instances. but these are just from book two and the confrontation scene between seth and knox from book five is even funnier imo

Seth closed his eyes and rubbed them with one hand. “I should let you have the Unforgiving Blade just to teach you a lesson.”

“At least I wouldn’t cut myself with it,” Knox said.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Seth said, trying not to lose his temper. “Keeping the crown would be the dumbest move you could make.”

but there’s also a couple scenes between him and tess!! like this one

Seth found Tess waiting on the rooftop. Fortunately, the flat roof had a parapet around the periphery and enough extra chimneys, water towers, and utility sheds that it was easy for the group to remain out of view from anyone on the street.  “Do you have what you need?” he asked.

“Everything that makes sense to carry,” Tess said. “I tried to warn the others they collected too much treasure. You’re flying off?”

[...]

“Tess,” the Alderfairy said. “Would you kindly place the black sword into the Source?”

“Won’t it harm her?” Seth whispered.

it’s more something you would expect out of kendra because she’s been doing it with seth since book one of fablehaven. like warning him about danger and trying to keep him from doing stupid things etc. but the fact that seth is doing it not only to tess (who’s ten) but also knox (who’s the same age! thirteen!) is both very funny to me because of the maturity imbalance between seth and knox but also kind of sweet because it’s kind of indicative of who he is as a person. but mostly it’s just funny because sometimes yeah knox DOES sound exactly like how seth did in the past. it’s his own childishness coming back to bite him

[thecagedsong]

Forgotten Light Chapter 14: Crescent Lagoon

A/N: Chapter 14 is here, and fairly short, especially after chapter 13′s monster length. Might even post chapter 15 today. We’ll see. 

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14

Chapter 14: Crescent Lagoon

           The sombrosa swords were apparently a type of dual swords whose handles were half of the other, kind of like cutting a curved sword down the middle lengthwise.

           No, Seth wasn’t allowed to touch them, yes they were magic. The wielder, with proper concentration, could make the swords sharp enough to cut through almost anything, even dragon hide, or sturdy enough to withstand tremendous pressure, though only one affect could be applied to each sword at one time. Apparently the Knights of the Dawn had had a combat tournament back in the day, and Grandma Gloria and Grandpa Stan had been the two finalists.

           Vanessa took over discussing what an umbraka was and why them running loose is the perfect reason to end a tournament, but kept referencing other animals that Seth didn’t know, and it was decided there wasn’t enough time to get into that. There was another sanctuary that needed saving.

           He was helped out of the Canoe by Warren, who had gone through before him. Instantly the humidity hit.

           “It feels like I’m trying to breath in the ocean,” Seth complained.

           “You’re welcome to compare a bit of humidity to the real experience,” Vanessa said, gesturing to the harbor. Tanu came through, then Grandma Gloria. Holding the canoe steady were short halflings. They were covered in black tattoos over their reddish skin and more of them were scattered between their spot and the treeline.

           Their group gathered around a tall islander woman. Her long, curly black hair had a couple of gray streaks, but her age didn’t show otherwise. Next to her was a red-headed surfer dude.

           “Welcome to Crescent Lagoon,” the woman said, “I am the caretaker, and due to the assistance of Knights Warren and Vanessa, we were able secure this small area to be protected under treaty. Be aware that the boundaries cover the beach, the water inside the cove, and about ten meters out on either side of where the beach turns into forest. And of course, my home, which you are all welcome to.”

           Seth looked around, trying to make out houses around the enormous trees, but couldn’t see anything. Then a halfling came down an elevator from the big tree in the center, and Seth’s eyes went up. And up. Because this caretaker’s home made their old treehouse back at Fablehaven look like a doghouse.

           “Wow,” Seth said, looking over the rope system. “We sleep in hammocks, right?”

           “I’m sure we can string one up directly over the dragon-infested ocean for you, if you like,” Warren said with a grin.

           “There are plenty of dangers here already,” Tanu said, “I don’t believe we need to tempt more.”

           “Thank you for receiving us during these difficult times,” Grandma said, bowing to the caretaker, “I am Gloria Larsen, a knight of the dawn. Allow me to introduce my Grandson, Seth Sorenson, a shadow charmer, and Knight Tanu Dafu, an expert potion’s master. We will look forward to working together as we pursue our mutual goals.”

           “Well met,” the Caretaker responded. “I am Savani, and this is one of my assistants, Grady. We will speak of more sensitive issues inside, particularly our mutual goals.” Savani started leading them away from the beach.

           “Do we climb a rope latter to get up there?” Seth asked, looking at the interchanging platforms for a rope that hung all the way down.

           “Not quite,” Grady said, “The Maze keeps us on our toes, but we spare ourselves at least the effort of getting up there.”

           “It’s called the Monkey Maze?” Tanu asked, “Do the rooms shift?”

           “Against intruders,” Grady answered, “We work closely with Heliconia, the dryad of this grove, to keep them together for most uses. Certain parts are forbidden, of course.”

           “Is it required for all preserves to have dungeons for the horribly dangerous?” Seth asked, straining his ears to hear the sounds of the undead. There was a faint whispering, but it was slightly different than the Blackwell or even Fablehaven’s dungeon. He couldn’t make out anything but a low murmur, almost hidden by the sound of waves.

           “Yes,” Vanessa said, “it is part of the base foundational treaty that all the sanctuaries are copied after. The caretakers must remove those who threaten the integrity of the treaty, and the undead rarely agree to be bound while being attracted to the magical souls of those on a preserve. Or they do, then break their word, and wind up in jail.”

           “Noted,” Seth said.

           “I would tell you that you should disregard that information,” Grandma Larsen said, amused, “but I suppose you should take note.”

           “Here we are,” Savani said, bringing them to a platform that had a rope going up into the trees. “Please assemble on the platform.”

           “It’s easier if you hold onto the rope in the center,” Vanessa warned, and everyone but Warren grabbed on. Seth grinned and kept his hands off.

           “Brace yourself,” Warren said, crouching a little. The platform shot upwards, and Seth fell on his butt with a surprised laugh. He made it back to his feet before the platform stopped, and the adults were all chuckling at him.

           “Do we get everywhere in the treehouse with unbuckled rollercoaster elevators?” Seth asked, jumping onto the bigger room the platform had become a part of.

           Savani chuckled, “No, the rest is walking, I’m afraid. Come, the Menuhene have prepared refreshments to welcome you.”

           “Menuhene?” Seth asked.

           “Think of a breed of dwarves that hold agreements similar to brownies,” Tanu suggested, “Though their specialty if building, rather than maintaining households.”

           “Awesome,” Seth said.

           “Here we are,” Savani said, leading them to a different enclosed room via rope bridge. It had a couple of tables and wicker chairs. “Now, explain to me what brings a child to my nearly fallen preserve, former caretaker or not. Vanessa and Warren promised allies, not liabilities.”

           “Hey, I saved Wyrmroost, and I’ve handle more secret vaults than you would ever believe,” Seth said, “I thought we were past doubting me and Kendra.”

           “Be respectful Seth,” Grandma said gently, then turned to Savani, “It’s true, that Seth is young, and if it hadn’t been for the opening of the demon prison and the upcoming dragon war, we would have preferred him to grow up before venturing near any dragon sanctuary. He does have experience. Unfortunately, Seth is one of few true Dragon tamers in the world, able to move and converse with ease. Seth has also become a shadow charmer, and his skills are necessary for upcoming trials, one of which involves retrieving his sister from the Phantom Isle. One of our goals here is to find training for Seth from a demon whose interests are strongly aligned against dragons.”

           “A dragon sancturary is an odd place for a dragon hating demon to lair,” Savani said, “Who is it you seek?”

           “Talizar,” Grandma said.

           “I am familiar with him,” Savani nodded, “he’s one of the rare demons that invoke boundary magic as one of his tools, rather than relying on his own strength against dragon neighbors. Caretakers in the past have mentioned him activating Moai to more strictly enforce dragon boundaries. His lair is on the same island as the corrupted pool.”

           “Another of our goals,” Tanu said with a nod, “We have reason to believe that Ronodin kidnapped Seth’s sister and our dear friend, Kendra Sorenson. Any chance to capture and interrogate him needs to be investigated immediately.”

           “And, of course,” Warren added, “We want to help further restore the boundaries of Crescent Lagoon, prevent it from falling and all that jazz.”

           Savani nodded slowly, eyeing them. “I see where our interests align. I will lend you aid where I can, but my aid is further reduced by the fall of this preserve, though it improves with the aid of Warren and Vanessa, who were able to bring back the Moai that protects the Monkey Maze. As long as one Moai is active, the outer boundaries of this preserve are intact. Unfortunately, this is a temporary refuge.”

           “Why is it only temporary?” Grandma Gloria asked.

           “I see there was not time for complete explanations,” Savani said, going to a map on the wall, “We lost the Sunset Pearl, which was the magic source for all the Moai in the preserve. As a failsafe, individual moai can be activated independent of the sunset pearl, as the moai currently protecting here was by consuming a sacrifice of a person’s most treasured object. I will not be able to pay the debt I owe to Warren for being willing to sacrifice his.”

           “What was it?” Seth asked.

           Warren was looking at the floor, “A limited print baseball card I always carry with me. The player was my dad’s best friend, an Uncle to me, close as family can be. He died of cancer years ago, and it was all I had left of him.”

           “Warren’s sacrifice was accepted,” Savani said, “As was my sacrifice of my family’s ancestral tablets. I can read the Moai, and we have two weeks of protection before another sacrifice is required by someone else.”

           “It’s harder than you think,” Vanessa said, “Deciding on a most important object. I couldn’t think of anything then, and still can’t think of anything that the Moai would have accepted. Obviously the goal is to restore the Sunset Pearl before our current sacrifice runs out.”

           “Any idea where the Sunset Pearl was taken?” Tanu asked.

           “None,” Savani sighed, “I’ve lost many allies in the process of looking, but nothing has come from those sacrifices.”

           “They also need to know about the Triclops,” Vanessa said.

           Savani nodded, “Mombatu the Triclops is the designated dragon slayer of this sanctuary. He became active when the sanctuary fell, and he is savage. He will slay a dragon before a human, but he has lost his faculties over time. He is so ancient, my people supposed him dead, and now he is a danger to anyone who comes near him, including me. He has driven the dragons away from this particular island, and is therefore the current greatest threat to our borders.”

           “Really, there is no way to talk to him?” Grandma Gloria asked, “Seems a poor choice for a dragon slayer allied with the treaty makers.”

           Savani shrugged, “Our legends say the original caretaker could soothe him to peace with a flute song, but the song and the flute have been lost to legend.”

           “Shame we didn’t bring Newel and Doren with us this time,” Seth said, giving a little grin. The cowards would absolutely refuse to play their panflutes for the triclops unless the only other choice was to be eaten.

           “As Savani suggested,” Vanessa said, a wry grin on her lips, “The magic was in the flute, rather than being a fan of the instrument. We’ll let our satyr friends recover another day in Fablehaven before testing their bravery once again.”

           “Have you seen the site where the Sunset Pearl was kept?” Tanu asked.

           “I saw it with Hako,” Warren said, “We didn’t find much. Ten really big moai in a ring facing inwards. An altar of piled stones at the center with a bowl on top. Supposedly three guardians protected the pearl, but there was no sign of them. There were tracks from the triclops though.”

           “No sign of the three guardians and triclops tracks,” Grandma Larsen mused, “Were they dependent on the Pearl for existence?”

           “I believe so,” Savani said, “and the triclops tracks are likely from it’s rampaging, rather than having to do with the theft. The triclops appeared long after the pearl had vanished.”

           “Okay, so we need a pearl, would like a flute, have to watch out for a rampaging triclops, Ronodin was spotted lurking around a corrupted pool, and we need to locate a demon to negotiate some training with him. Anything else we should discuss before planning?” Seth asked.

           “What remains of your staff?” Tanu asked.

           “Grady here,” Savani said, “Hako, our gamekeeper. And Uma. Uma is frail and in a wheelchair, but she will likely interest you, Potion Master.”

           Tanu blinked, and his took on a bit of awestruck, “Not Uma Stormbrewer.”

           “The same. She joined our staff after her legs gave out, but she and her skills remain sharp,” Savani said.

           “That’s…she’s a legend,” Tanu said, “She’s a grand master of potion making, I hardly deserve the title compared to her.”

           “Good thing you got courage potions in abundance,” Seth said, slapping him on the shoulder, “And I suppose you two should know about another ally we brought. Calvin, say hi.”

           Calvin peeked out of his pocket, “Hello,” he waved. “I wasn’t sure to introduce myself or not, I’m one of those assets best left hidden. I’m Calvin the Nipsie.”

           “You are welcome here, small ally,” Savani said, bowing her head in a nod of recognition. She waited a moment, then said, “I believe we have reached a summation of our assets and current goals. Onto planning. Hako was planning on investigating the corrupted pool alone today, since we had no timeframe for how long it would take Warren and Vanessa to find allies, even with the small dragon’s help.”

           “I want to go with and help with the investigation,” Seth said.

           “I go where Seth goes,” Grandma Gloria said. “Depending on what we can locate at the corrupted spring, it would also be foolish to not to greet Talizar and open negotiations for training while we are already outside the protections granted. Just as it would be foolish to delay, if our time limit is really only two weeks.

            “I believe I will skip this venture in order to consult longer with Uma,” Tanu decided, “I have many fresh ingredient from dragons that I hope she will be interested in.”

           “I believe she will be,” Savani said with a smile. Everyone turned to Vanessa and Warren.

           “Well, what do you say?” Warren asked Vanessa with a smile, “It’s been, what, almost twenty whole hours since our last near death experience? I think we’re up for another round.”

           “Right, practically a vacation,” she said drily. “Wouldn’t want to become bored with existing.”

           “Count us in for one trip to the corrupted spring,” Warren said.

           Finally, he could start following a lead on Kendra. She just had to keep Ronodin’s slimy hands and stupid words away from her for a little bit longer.

[herinsectreflection]

I really like Help. I like that it's basic premise is "Buffy has to save a younger version of herself". Because Cassie really is a mini-Buffy. She's a blonde teen with secret mystical powers and a fated short lifespan. She has divorced parents (and specifically a mostly absent father) and a small friend group of outcasts. She even expresses a love of ice skating - something Buffy also loved when she was young but had to give up. Just look at her speech in this episode compared to one of Buffy’s most iconic lines in Becoming.

“You think I want this? You think I don't care? Believe me, I want to...be here, do things. I want to graduate from high school, and I want to go to the stupid winter formal... I have this friend, and it would be fun to go with him. Just to dance and hear lame music to wear a silly dress and laugh and stuff. I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out 'cause they're really mean and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country or, I don't know, fall in love, but I won't. I just never will.” - Cassie, ‘Help’

“Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world... again.” - Buffy, ‘Becoming’

There’s also an echo of Prophecy Girl, with Cassie/Buffy’s youthful desires being juxtaposed against the supposed certainty of her death. In fact the whole episode feels like echoes of the “high school years”. The main plot is “a group of frat boys try to sacrifice Cassie to a demon in exchange for money and power”, which is literally the exact plot of Reptile Boy. The ice skating line evokes What’s My Line. Buffy as a councillor makes us think of Beauty and the Beasts, (or any of the high school teachers who appear once to be nice to Buffy, so the episode can kill them off horribly later). Buffy as a character has now grown up and has swapped sides of the desk, now an authority figure talking to teenagers, and the show has swapped perspectives too - echoing and commenting on its own past self. The early seasons are now haunting the latest one.

There’s an interesting thread in S7 around being haunted by the people you couldn’t save. Those people are the villains in Lessons, Conversations with Dead People is built around this idea, it’s a major component of Robin’s character. It’s what the First does all season - appear as people Buffy couldn’t save, or as Buffy herself. So Cassie represents a kind of prequel version of that idea. She is the person Buffy will not be able to save - the same theme, at a different point in the timestream. She especially evokes memories of Joyce - the ultimate example of someone Buffy was powerless to save - with her death being a mundane medical emergency. On first watch, she’s a tragic figure. On rewatch, she’s walking dramatic irony. Cassie herself constantly tells us that she cannot be saved, yet we and Buffy are surprised when that turns out to be true. Buffy is trapped between the past and the future, unable to save people in either direction. 

I think I finally get why Cassie was used as The First in CWDP. I kind of always assumed it was just a “grab any actress available on short notice” thing after Amber Benson refused the role. But now I realise she’s kind of the perfect choice. As I mentioned, The First always appears as either a person Buffy was unable to save, or as Buffy herself. Cassie is both of those things. She’s every innocent victim who dies during the course of every episode of Buffy. She’s also a brave young woman with mystical powers who is aware of her own forthcoming premature death. I kind of wish she had stuck around and played The First through the rest of the season instead of forcing SMG to work double-time, because she represents a perfect mirror image to Buffy, perhaps more than any other dead character could be (except maybe Kendra, but that’s a complaint for another day).

[favefandomimagines]

I Never Planned on You 3

AN: chapter 3 even after the first two parts kind of flopped but hey i like this series and i’m hoping it’ll get better since harry potter tiktok is still somewhat thriving 

sorry for going awol!! i was on a family trip and wanted to unplug for a bit! but i appreciate your patience and i’ll try to have a more structured posting schedule! i also apologize that this was so short, the next chapter will be much longer!!

taglist: @x-lulu​

After Kendra’s talk with George, she knew that she needed to find Harry. Professor Trelawney said that he was the only other student to have the Grim in his tea leaves. What were the odds that both her and Harry Potter had the same fortune? 

She caught up to the young before he entered the Gryffindor common room. “Harry!” She called. “Oh, hi Kendra.” He greeted her. “May I talk to you for a moment?” She asked. “Of course.” He said. Harry told Hermione and Ron to go on without him as he hung back with Kendra. 

“What did you need to talk about?” Harry asked. “This afternoon in Divination, Professor Trelawney saw something in my tea leaves. She said that you were the other student to have the same thing.” She started. “You had the Grim too?” Harry questioned. 

Kendra nodded her head slightly before Harry spoke again. “Do you think it has anything to do with your father?” He asked. “I-I really don’t know. Everyone thinks I know what’s going on but I don’t.” Kendra answered. “I believe you. You haven’t spoken to your father in 11 years, how would you know anything?” Harry replied.

“Thank you, Harry.” She smiled. The two entered the common room, splitting up to go to their respective friend groups. 

“Kendra, we need to have a little discussion.” Angelina said as Kendra approached her three friends. “And what might that be?” She questioned. “What’s going on between you and George?” Alicia asked. “What? Nothing, we’re just friends.” Kendra said.

Angelina, Katie and Alicia all exchanged a look before looking back at Kendra. “He’s always the first person to defend you and the first person to check on you. Especially with recent events.” Angelina said. “Fred is also your friend and he doesn’t do that nearly as often as George.” Katie added.

“We’ll just wait and see tomorrow. We’re all going to Hogsmeade, maybe he’ll personally invite you.” Alicia teased. “Actually, you can count me out for Hogsmeade. I’m not really feeling up to it.” Kendra said. “What?” The twins interjected in unison. “Kendra, you have to come. We’ve been waiting all term for this and even with recent events, they’re still letting us go.” Fred said. 

The older twin nudged his brother, knowing if anyone could make Kendra join them at Hogsmeade, it was George. 

“Please, Kendra. We haven’t been able to hang out like we did over the Summer before you left.” George said. “You’re really laying it on thick aren’t you, Weasley.” Kendra commented. “If it’ll make you say yes.” He replied. “Fine. I will come to Hogsmeade. But I’m only doing it for you.” She finally said, earning soft cheers from friends. “Only for George, aye?” Fred poked. “And for all of you.” Kendra corrected herself before shooting Fred a glare. 

Fred had been trying to set up his brother and best friend since third year. To no avail. They were both too scared to tell the other in fear of ruining their friendship with each other. But Fred knew better. He knew both like the back of his hand and if they needed a few friendly nudges, then so be it. 

Later that evening, when everyone went to bed, Kendra couldn’t sleep a wink. She tried everything and she didn’t want to bother Madame Pomfrey at such a late hour. So she resorted to sitting on the velvet couch in the common room, reading a muggle book Hermione had lent her. 

As she was just reading about the tragic affair of Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan, the sound of shuffling knocked her out of it. 

“Oh, Kendra, I didn’t know anyone would be up.” Harry’s voice alerted her. “Oh, hi Harry. Couldn’t sleep either?” Kendra questioned. “You can say that.” The boy replied. “Well, we can be insomniacs together.” She said. “I actually wanted to ask you something.” Harry said. “Of course, go right ahead.” She told him. 

“Do you remember anything about my parents? I know you were young when they died but you said you knew them.” He asked. 

Kendra closed her book and turned her attention to the young boy in front of her. “I don’t remember much but I do remember one thing. It was before my mother was killed and we were at your house. You were just born and my mother was good friends with yours. It’s my earliest memory actually. I was sitting on the floor, my mother and Lily were fawning over you,” Kendra started with a laugh. 

“And your father sat down on the floor with me and gave me this little doll made out of scraps of clothing. Lily had made it in case they had a girl so James gave it to me. He made sure I wasn’t going to feel left out. He was a very kind man, your father. Knew how to make people laugh, so Remus told me.” She finished.

Harry smiled at the recollection of Kendra’s memory. “So you knew Professor Lupin on the train?” He asked. “Yes. When I lost both of my parents and I was sent to live with the Malfoy’s, Remus did everything he could to get me out of that house. Him and my aunt Andromeda made sure I wouldn’t be forced to share the same ideologies that made the Black’s a very infamous pureblood family. That’s putting it lightly.” She answered. 

“This might be a sensitive subject but do you think your father wants to kill me?” Harry questioned. “Of course not, Harry. My father could never hurt you or anyone who is innocent.” Kendra said. 

Harry nodded his head curtly before Kendra stood up. “Seems talking with you as done the trick to make me want to sleep. So I thank you for that. Goodnight, Harry.” She said. “Goodnight, Kendra.” Harry replied. 

—

The next morning, an abundance of students stood out in the courtyard of the castle, handing their permission slips to Professor McGonagall.

Kendra handed her’s to the older woman. before going to join her friends off to the side. “So, where to first?” Angelina asked. “Let’s go to Honeydukes! I told my brother I’d send him some chocolate frogs!” Alicia answered. “George and I need to run to Zonko’s. We have some new products to plan.” Fred commented. 

“Kendra, where do you want to go?” He added. “I’ll come with you to Zonko’s. I really don’t need to be tempted by Honeyduke’s.” She joked. “Well come on then, Kendra! We have so little time!” George exclaimed dramatically.

The younger twin grabbed her wrist and pulled her along towards the village, leaving their friend group behind. “George, slow down! You’ll rip my arm out of its socket!” Kendra called with a laugh.

George came to a slow stop, allowing Kendra to catch her breath. “Is that better, your highness?” He teased. “Indeed it is.” Kendra replied. “Why were you so adamant on me coming to Hogsmeade?” She asked.

“Because we never spend time together just us. It’s always us and Fred or us and Ginny or us, Ron, Hermione and Harry. Do I need a reason to want to spend time with my best friend?” George explained.

George noticed Kendra’s smile falter ever so slightly before she quickly recovered. “No, you don’t need an excuse. You never need an excuse, Georgie.” She replied.

Though the word ‘friend’ was a word she didn’t like hearing from George. “So we’re just going to ditch the rest of our friends?” Kendra replied. “That’s exactly what we’re going to do.” George answered. “If I know Angelina, she’s already convinced Fred to go to Honeyduke’s with her.” He added

Kendra wanted to say she felt bad that they were leaving their friends behind but whenever she was able to spend time alone with George, she took it.

The two arrived at Zonko’s and George looked like a kid in a candy store. He’s been to the joke shop a million times and yet each time still amazed him.

“So what exactly are we looking for?” Kendra asked the boy. “I don’t know, anything that creates the greatest prank in the history of Hogwarts.” George answered. “You’ve already done that by now. At least I think you have.” She said.

“You’re biased, love. You have to think our pranks are the best.” He said. “Oh really? I have to think that?” Kendra questioned. “Of course you do.” George replied. “Alright then. If I’m being honest the last one you did with Peeves wasn’t the best. The execution was sloppy.” She told him.

George paused his browsing and looked at the dark haired girl for a moment. “Sloppy? My execution was sloppy?” He questioned. “It could have been better. That’s why Snape caught you. If you would have taken my advice, you wouldn’t have had detention for two weeks.” Kendra answered. 

“You’re a minx you know that right?” George asked with a laugh. “What can I say, I get it from my mother.” Kendra said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. 

George smiled down at her as she stood at his side. He hoped that she couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating or if she could tell that his palms were clammy. He just thought she was so pretty he could never think straight around her. 

“Did you hear me?” Kendra asked him. “What?” He questioned. “I said did you want to go to the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer before we go back?” Kendra asked. “Uh, yeah, yeah, sure. I’ll pay.” George stammered. 

“If I didn’t know any better, Weasley, I’d say you were considering this a date.” Kendra teased. “No, no, definitely not a date.” George lied. 

He wanted nothing more than for it to be a date but he didn’t have the courage to ask and what if Kendra said no? It would ruin their friendship forever. Kendra ignored the way her heart felt as if it were tightening in her chest at his words. 

Would going on a date with her be that bad to him? Then again, she didn’t want to jump to conclusions. But she also didn’t want to ruin the friendship she had with George if she were to confess her true feelings. 

So Kendra did what she did best when it came to her true emotions; and that was to hide them for as long as she could. 

[j-graysonlibrary]

Heartbeats; Paradise XII

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction. 

XII:

Just yesterday—though it feels like it’s been an eternity instead—Oswald and I spoke of the possibility that we were real people trapped in this fake world.

And now Kendra looks at us like that might truly be the correct answer.

My stomach clenches as I lean closer, awaiting irrefutable confirmation.

Kade, however, seems confused by all this. His brow furrows and he frowns as he asks, “What the hell does that mean? How do you know what does and doesn’t have a soul?”

“I wouldn’t have been sure before now,” Kendra replies with a shrug, “But after being around all of you, I’ve gotten a better handle on what makes a person…alive. I’m not sure how else to put it but I first noticed with Oswald.”

Oz straightens his posture. “When I kept trying to leave my apartment building?”

Kendra nods. “Yeah. I noticed how often you were trying and, sometimes, you’d start to curse under your breath. It was clear you were fighting your programming with everything you had. Part of me wondered if it was because my hacking around the area that you were acting out of sorts but, had you just been a regular A.I., I don’t think you would have exhibited any free will.”

“And that’s why you gave me his address,” I say as the revelation hits me.

She shoots a smile my way. “I wanted to see if that area was a dead zone for Anika and, if so, what it might do to you. If you would start acting strange too.”

“Well it didn’t work especially well.”

Kendra’s smile remains but it dims, softens. “I could still notice a difference.”

I suppose that is true—after meeting Oz I became more aware that something was wrong though I had no way to qualify it. It was mostly just a feeling.

“It wasn’t until the issue with Starla that I really noticed that something was horribly wrong. And I started to come to some troubling conclusions.”

We all look at Starla who keeps her attention on Kendra. She hasn’t said anything yet (though neither has Nate) and I’m curious about her side of the story. What was it like from her point of view? When did she first notice she had no control? Or, maybe she didn’t until the blackout.

Kendra places a hand on Starla’s arm, sliding down to her elbow before pulling away. “Do you want to tell them or should I…?”

Starla sighs and tucks some of her hair behind her ear. She raises her head to meet all of us and lingers on me for a moment longer. I feel a twitch in my gut but I pay it no mind as she starts to talk.

“The first thing I remember is taking a shard of glass and cutting into myself.” She wrings her hands together and looks as though recounting that also brings with it the physical pain. “There were these thoughts of imminent…deletion…and I didn’t want to disappear. Not a lot made sense so I just kept cutting and cutting…blood was everywhere and then…Melvin showed up and he’s the last face I remember before waking up in a new bed and in a new body.”

“Wait…” I stop her and stare, hard, as if I’ll see in her who she used to be. As if her features will actually change back to reflect the name on my mind. When that, of course, doesn’t happen, I’m forced to voice my hypothesis, “You were Gladis?”

“What?!” Oz and Kade both yell at the same time and, a half a second later, Nate follows with a bewildered, “Huh?”

Starla sighs and her eyes stay fixed on the floor. “The longer I’ve had to think about it, the more fills into place. I remember having this…text and some pictures in my mind of me hurting Melvin when he was a boy. I hated myself for what I saw and I wanted to die anyway but I knew, after a certain point, I wouldn’t be in the story anymore…”

Kendra jumps in to further explain, “Unlike the people who Kade chopped up and came back with different faces, deletion—in Gladis’ case—would have removed her code from the story entirely. Given that she had a real soul in here, there’s no telling what would have happened to her.”

Starla nods slightly and mutters, “I just knew I wanted to end it myself. But then I was Starla and I was so confused and in pain…I had terrible headaches as the new information about this character came to me all at once. Luckily, it wasn’t a lot since she’s a side character but still…”

I remember the party where Starla suddenly fell out from a migraine and “Bree” took her home.

“Did you notice something was wrong as soon as you took her home from the party?” I ask and look to Kendra.

She glances to Starla and then nods. “There was no reason for Starla, as a character, to be experiencing anything like it. So, I took her home and we talked. Anika has no interest in her female characters—for the most part—so we were safe in the condo.”

“Kendra told me about herself…” Starla says quietly, “I just had to be in one other scene, I think, and the rest of the time, I was trying to remember how I got here. Not just from Gladis to Starla but how I became Gladis in the first place.”

My heart picks up. “Have you had dreams or anything about a past life?”

Everyone stares at me. Oz rests a comforting hand on my back.

Kendra’s expression becomes even more serious. “Do you remember something Melvin?”

“Well…I don’t know exactly.” Having all of their eyes on me is a little unnerving. But, with Oz’s gentle motions against my back, I buck up and carry on, “After the black out, I started to have dreams about being a completely different person. In the real world with a real life. It’s just a theory but I think it might have been who I was before coming here.”

“It very well could be,” Kendra says with a deep frown. It’s not that she seems unconvinced but I think she’s upset at the situation in general. She looks from me to Oz. “Do you remember anything like that?”

He shakes his head but continues rubbing up and down my back. “We think Melvin’s husband in this past life might have been me but we have no proof.”

Kendra switches to Kade. “And you?”

Kade leans back against the shelf, no longer struggling against the ropes. He sighs loudly. “No. As far back as I can remember, I’ve been in this stupid body and in this stupid, fake world.”

“I’m sorry…” Her voice is barely more than a whisper.

“Don’t be,” Kade responds but doesn’t look at her, “You didn’t put us here.”

“I’m very curious about that, actually,” Oz circles back, “We can pretty much confirm that we are all people from the real world who got sucked into these bodies—into this story—but do you have any idea how that could have happened?”

Kendra chews against her lower lip and glances away from us. “When I was looking at the backend of this place, I saw some…troubling things. It wasn’t actively in effect but it looked to me like Anika was going to or, at some point, tried this new feature in IVAR called ‘diving’. Now, what this is—simply put—is something that allows users to inhabit the body of the characters in a story and live out the events through them.

On paper, this sounds great for immersion but there were a lot of bugs and reports of people feeling the pain that characters went through too intensely and, in some cases, people were getting stuck. Operators would have to go to their IVAR pods and remove them physically and that, itself, came with a host of potential physical and neurological issues. Sudden and forced disconnection has led to anything from short term amnesia and, in the worst cases, paralysis or death.”

My brows pinch together. “Why would anyone make something like that?”

“Like I said, it sounds great when you think of it as ‘living as your favorite character’ but the reality was a mess. Diving is still being fleshed out but all of the tests and beta versions were put on ice for people’s safety. Yet…I found evidence of diving programming being used in the making of this hub. It didn’t look like it was ever implemented but, with the program still haunting the system, the ability for it to kick in is ever present.”

“So…” Kade frowns. “We were all reading this terrible fucking story and got sucked in?”

“That is possible but it’s not necessarily the only option,” Kendra answers, “It’s most likely that you were all in the IVAR system—possibly in the area or just had an unsecure connection. But you were yanked in by the passive diving program and…well, here we are.”

“Wouldn’t we have memories from our lives a little more clearly like you do though?” Oz asked, sounding skeptical as always.

But I do see his point and I add, “True, if you got sucked into Bree’s body because of that diving thing…wouldn’t it be the same for us?”

Kendra rubs her chin. “Huh…maybe because none of you were aware of what was happening? Or…” she trails off.

“Or?” Kade prods.

She and Starla glance at each other and, like with Kendra’s initial story, it seems like Starla already knows what’s coming. Kendra finally responds, “Or you all died while you were in the IVAR system.”

I look over at Oz and Kade and the three of us exchange equally cynical glances. For one, I’m not sure what difference being alive or dead in this space would make and two, I don’t know why Kendra would even come to such a conclusion.

She notices the silent conversation between our eyes. “I know it’s not the answer you want to hear. At the time I came in here, there were some studies on spiritual energy or ‘the soul’ but scientific institutes had a hard time accepting the results as fact. Some scientists, however, were starting to believe that, after death, a soul can continue to exist but will, most likely, forget about it’s life. The different implications those studies had about an afterlife were heavily debated and controversial but I figured, if that is true, then you all would have a harder time remembering who you were, right?”

“That’s assuming all of that research is true,” Oz points out.

“Yes,” Kendra says with a slow nod, “But, considering our situation, I think I’m willing to buy into anything.”

“So we should just accept the fact we might be dead already,” Kade mumbles and then sighs. “Great.”

“That’s part of the reason I’ve been reluctant about just trying to break you all out of here.” She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs. “I think I’ll be able to readjust your programs to be self contained and we can escape this hub but…after that it’ll be a lot of guessing.”

“We can get out?” I barely hear the negative points and focus on the incredible thing she just glossed over.

“Well…probably.” Kendra frowns. “You may have to resort to just escaping to a different hub to live in but I’d like to get you out of IVAR completely…even as just souls.”

“What can we do to help?” Oz asks, ready to jump up and get to work right away.

She looks between all of us again before stretching her legs out and taking a deep breath. “First thing’s first: you’ll need to trust me enough to meddle in your programming.”

“Is there a chance you could delete us by accident?” Oz follows up.

“I’m a good hacker so I’d like to say no but there is always a small chance that I could do damage, yes.”

Starla turns closer to Kendra. “Then I’ll go first. I trust you.”

“Star…” Kendra is taken aback by her sudden, intense gaze.

“I’ve known you longer and I know you better. I’ll show them that you’re safe.” A faint smile pulls at Starla’s lips and I can feel the belief she has in Kendra.

The two women get to work—Starla sits in front of Kendra with her back to her. I lean to the side as a faint blue, translucent screen appears in front of Kendra’s face. It’s coming from Starla, somehow, and I start to feel strange knowing that’s probably in me as well. I rub over my sternum and fight the urge to retch.

The process takes little more than two minutes and Kendra pats Starla on the back, dismissing her. “There you go. Now you’re not anchored to the hub.”

“Feel any different?” I ask, curious.

Starla stands up and walks back to her sleeping bag. She shrugs. “Not really.”

“Alright, I’ll go next,” Oz announces and moves closer to Kendra. I’m surprised he’s going along with it but I suppose, if we want to leave, then we have no other choice than to do what Kendra says. If playing with our code gives us a better chance at escape then we’re all willing to take the risk.

I go next and wait for some strange sensation to come over me, like some sort of pulling or tugging from my back and shoulders, but I feel nothing the entire time. The glow from the screen reflects on my glasses so I know Kendra is working but there is no other indication.

Like with the previous two, she slaps me on the back when she’s done. I return to Oz’s side and Nate goes next.

I’m really starting to worry about him with how silent he’s been but maybe he’s just taking it all in and it’s overwhelming him. If he’s only awoken after the blackout then I’m sure this is an abundance of information.

Oz and I both look to Kade when he’s the last one left.

Kade quirks an eyebrow. “You gonna untie me?”

“It’s okay, Oz,” Kendra assures him and then turns to Kade, “He’s not a danger to us anymore.”

I agree with her but I still tense while Oswald unties him. The smaller man rips himself free as soon as he can and brings his hands in front of himself before scratching the side of his nose.

“Ugh, finally, that’s been bothering me.” He sighs and then scoots toward Kendra. “Alright, get it over with.”

While Kade is having his programming tweaked, Oz picks the conversation up from earlier. “So, after this, what can we do?”

Kendra finishes with Kade and then looks up at Oz. “This may sound strange but I think Kade had the right idea just with the wrong end goal in mind.”

Kade turns around to glare at her. “What do you mean?”

“I started to think of something when I saw that man you axed come back with a different face. His assets changed because the program had to correct itself. That makes it work a little extra harder than it normally would, right?”

With her eyes on us, I feel like she’s asking so I raise my shoulders and say, “I guess?”

She snickers. “Right. So, if we force the program to work overtime and try and adjust it’s assets at a rate it’s not capable of, it will start to break down. Put simply, we can break the program by breaking the assets which are the people and places.”

“So…” Kade draws out the word before asking, “We kill a bunch of people and the program will crash?”

Kendra smiles but she looks a bit put off by the phrasing. “Basically, yeah.”

I can’t believe that’s the plan and I look around at the room to see no one looking as upset as I feel. There are some uncomfortable faces but everyone appears as though they’re ready to do what’s necessary to get out of here. And I get that but…

I’m not sure I can do this.

[aerinmelina]

The Fablehaven gang plays Apples to Apples, pt. 1

Tanu: Is everybody here?

Vanessa: Warren’s grabbing something from the kitchen. He’ll be here soon.

Dale: What’s the game tonight?

Kendra: Apples to Apples!

Bracken: I haven’t played before. Can you explain the rules to me?

Seth: You want green cards, and you play red cards to get the green ones.

Bracken: Okay…

Kendra: The red cards are nouns, the green cards are adjectives. We each take turns playing a green card down on the table. The player who puts a green card down acts as the judge for that round. Everyone else puts red cards in the middle; nouns to match the adjective. Then the judge reads off the nouns and decides who wins.

Dale: That sounds simple enough.

Tanu: It’s not difficult. You’ll catch on quickly. Bracken, too.

Warren: *carrying a tray of mugs, passes them out to everyone* What’d I miss?

Seth: Mmm. Hot cocoa.

Tanu: We’re playing Apples to Apples. You’ve played before?

Warren: *rubs his hands together* Yeah. Got it. Love this game. You’re all going down.

Vanessa: How about you start, Tanu? And then we’ll go clockwise around the table?

Tanu: Sure thing. You deal the red cards?

Vanessa: On it. *Vanessa deals 5 red cards to each person at the table* First person to four green cards wins? Since we’re a large group?

Kendra: Sounds good to me.

Round 1

Tanu: *places a green card on the table* The word is effervescent. Fizzy, exuberant, and vivacious are a few synonyms. Choose your cards.

Kendra: So, Dale and Bracken, you want to choose a red card which goes well with the word “effervescent.” 

Seth: Or you can pick something opposite.

Kendra: Can we please not confuse them?

Seth: What? It’s the judge who decides who the winner is. Tanu can pick whatever card he wants. 

Kendra: But the rules-

Seth: There aren’t any real rules. Stop making up rules where they don’t belong.

Warren: *snickers*

Kendra: *to Dale and Bracken* Just choose a word you think will go well with the adjective. *rolls her eyes*

*1 minute later, Tanu collects the red cards*

Tanu: Let’s see. The word is effervescent, and our options here are… ‘my appendix’, ‘all-nighters’, ‘prom night’, ‘star gazing’, ‘my cold, dead fingers’, and ‘Sugar Plum Fairies.’ I’m, um. What a great way to start off this game. *laughs*

Warren: My cold, dead fingers. Nice.

Tanu: I was part of some pretty crazy all-nighters when I was a kid. That’s the winner. Who played it?

Vanessa: *grabs the green card* I’ll take that.

Warren: Seth? Did you play the dead fingers?

Seth: Yeah.

Warren: Good one. *high-fives Seth*

Round 2

Seth: My turn to judge. *cracks his knuckles* Okay. You all ready for this? The word is pointless. Do your worst.

Warren: I’ve got this one. Watch. He’s gonna pick mine.

Vanessa: Just play your card.

Warren: I’m going to win.

Vanessa: You’re not going to win if you don’t play the card.

Warren: *tosses his card into the middle of the table and smiles* I’m winning this.

Kendra: I don’t know about that; mine is pretty good.

Vanessa: Not as good as mine.

Dale: I feel like I don’t have any great choices for this one. 

Bracken: Me neither.

Seth: Just throw a card on the table. It’s okay if it doesn’t make sense. I’m fine with a little chaos in my life.

*Dale and Bracken choose cards, Seth picks them all up*

Seth: Alright. We have ‘grocery express lanes’, ‘a broken collarbone’, ouch, ‘inferiority complex’, hahahaha that’s awesome, ‘reality TV shows’, true, ‘a fender bender’, and ‘elections.’

Kendra: Elections?!

*Tanu, Vanessa, Dale and Warren laugh*

Dale: Feels that way sometimes.

Seth: Inferiority complex. That one wins. That’s the most useless of all of those options.

Warren: See? I told you I was going to win. *takes the green card*

Vanessa: The word was pointless, not useless.

Seth: I am the judge. I have spoken.

Warren: *to Vanessa* You played the elections card, didn’t you?

Vanessa: *sighs* Yes.

Warren: That one would’ve won in my books.

Vanessa: Too bad you weren’t the judge, then.

Round 3

Kendra: *draws a green card and places it on the table* The word is heroic. Courageous, daring, and valiant.

Bracken: I don’t have a good one for this round, either.

Dale: Neither do I.

Warren: I might, if she thinks creatively.

*Kendra gathers all of the cards*

Kendra: Alright, so the word is heroic, and here are the answers: ‘a Hail Mary’, ‘Uma Thurman’, ‘Haley’s Comet’, ‘hybrid cars’, ‘the eye of the storm’, and ‘Benjamin Franklin.’ Seriously, guys? This was the best you could do?

Seth: Sometimes the cards are great, and sometimes… they’re not.

Kendra: Haley’s Comet? Hybrid cars? Heroic? Really?

Warren: Just pick a winner, Kens.

Kendra: *bites her lip* Fine. Ben Franklin, I guess. You weirdos.

Tanu: Why, thank you, Kendra. *takes the green card*

Round 4

Bracken: My turn, right? 

Seth: Yep. Draw a green card and put it in the middle of the table. You’ll pick the winner, so don’t play a red card.

Bracken: Got it. *places a green card neatly into the center of the table* Taboo. Forbidden, prohibited, or unmentionable. Hmm. This could be interesting.

Kendra: I don’t have any good ones for that.

Warren: Welcome to all of us during the last round. I’ve got a good one this time. *plays a card*

Vanessa: Me too. *plays her card*

*1 minute later, Bracken gathers up the cards*

Bracken: Ooh, these look good already. Let’s see. ‘Skeletons in the closet’, hmm. Yes. ‘A watery grave’. Indeed. ‘Holiday office parties’-

Warren: *chokes on his cocoa*

Dale: *slaps Warren’s back*

Warren: That doesn’t help!

Dale: *teases* I could get you something stronger to drink if you’d like?

Warren: Just. Just stop.

Dale: *shrugs*

Seth: *looks between Dale and Warren* Why do I feel like I’m missing a story here?

Vanessa: *grinning* Because you are.

Kendra: … Are you going to elaborate on that one?

Warren: Nope. She’s not. No.

Vanessa: It involved some alcohol.

Warren: I said no!

Dale: And a stolen suit jacket.

Warren: Stop!

Vanessa: And a massive hangover the next day.

Kendra: At an office party? Have any of you ever even worked in an office?

Tanu: *amused* I heard about that. Warren became a legend with the younger Knights of the Dawn after that.

Warren: I was 21!

Vanessa: That’s actually where we met.

Warren: Don’t remind me.

Seth: Were you there, too, Dale?

Dale: Nope. I just got to clean up the mess which was Warren when he got home. We still have that suit jacket somewhere. I have no idea where he got it from.

Warren: Keep going, Bracken. Please. Change the subject.

Bracken: Actually, I’m quite intrigued. I’d like to hear the rest of the story.

Warren: *sighs* I got drunk during an undercover mission. It wasn’t my finest moment. I was young and stupid.

Vanessa: Old enough to know not to drink while undercover.

Warren: People kept handing me glasses full of champagne. What was I supposed to do?!

Vanessa: Keep the same one on you all night. Sip here and there. Don’t finish it. And don’t accept any more than that!

Warren: Young and stupid. I’ve grown since then.

Vanessa: Sometimes I wonder if that’s a true statement.

Warren: *rolls his eyes*

Vanessa: *rolls her eyes*

Bracken: Ooookay, starting over. The choices are ‘skeletons in the closet’, ‘a watery grave’, holiday office parties’, ‘moustaches’, ‘the Garden of Eden’, ooh that’s a good one, and finally, ‘the French Revolution.’ Hmm. I like many of these, but I think the most taboo of them all would be either The Garden of Eden or A watery grave. I think I’ll choose the watery grave.

Warren: Good choice. *grabs the green card* Dale, you’re next.

Bracken: Who played the Garden?

Seth: Me.

Bracken: Good one.

Read part 2 here!

[isinkwiththeship]

I’ve written Dasey at different ages. I’ve written them getting together in high school, college, and later in life. I’ve read a ton of fics, too, in all those different stages, and I have come to the conclusion that Derek and Casey would have had to wait until college, minimum, to get together. That’s not just because then they would be away from their friends and family with a little more room to breathe, but for a few other reasons.

1. If we look at their start from season 1. They are young, they are immature, and they are often obnoxious. As much as I love the show, some episodes I rewatch and I think that they are both overreacting. Which is fine. They’re teenagers, that’s sort of their job. Everything is Big and Dramatic when you’re in high school and it’s hard to see a bigger picture at work.

But.

But.

That kind of attitude does not make for a healthy relationship. Casey’s on-again, off-again romance is a good example of this. A lot of Dasey shippers will point out that she was only with Sam to cover for her attraction to Derek. This might be true, but I also think she genuinely liked him. He was softer, kinder, and the kind of person that Casey thinks she wants at that point in her life (he’s ultimately too passive for her, which I can relate to, and Derek acts as his foil in that regard... or vice versa). Anyway, a lot of her arguments with Sam are over something so small, so little, but they seem like a big deal to Casey at the time.

I think she’d look back one day and feel embarrassed at some of the fits she threw during that relationship, but I may just be projecting.

At any rate, Derek and Casey are more dramatic, I think, at that age then a lot of teens as well. There are often moments where even Emily, Lizzie, and Edwin think they are overreacting about something. Their youth and their personalities contribute to this, and it’s just not a good time for a relationship that is going to last.

Derek, at the time, is more concerned with his reputation than settling down. We see him try for Kendra and Sally, but ultimately he would rather just make out with a cute girl and call it a day then have to answer to the demands and expectations that come with a relationship (I say demands which has, like, harsh and negative connotations, but I just mean being in a relationship requires more than thinking about yourself and he is, inherently, pretty selfish, even if he has many redeeming moments--more and more of them as the series goes on). The Derek we see in the last episode (”Yeah, same difference” ugh, my heart) is very different from the Derek we see in episode one. He’s grown. He’s been hurt. He’s hurt women. He’s grown closer with Casey. He has more and more moments where he does something genuinely honest and good without an ulterior motive. He is growing to the point where he could manage a relationship on top of his ego.

Their time together those first few years help to knock some of the sharper edges off of their personalities, softening them both into something resembling what could be a healthy personality into adulthood.

(then we get the movie which just regresses them a bunch, but whatever)

2. In high school, Derek and Casey both have unrealistic expectations about relationships and how they should work. Again, youth and inexperience contributes to this. Casey, especially, have these romanticized and idealistic expectations of relationships and how they should work. She wants everything to be done her way. Like Derek, she’s often selfish, just in a very different way. She also has weird expectations of the kind of person she wants to be with. At first, it seems like she wants someone a lot like her. She wants someone into poetry, etc. etc. The problem is, when you put two people who are too similar, you get no chemistry. There’s a whole lot of agreement, and I’m not suggesting that you ought to actively disagree with your partner to have a good relationship, but I think that there should be some differences. You don’t have to be interested in all of the same things, and you don’t have to do everything together. Spending time with people who have different interests than you is great, because then you get to learn and experience new things, and you have stuff to talk about other than agreeing on the same opinions at every turn.

There is some truth to opposites attract. I’m not a relationship expert or anything, this is just what I believe, but I think your core beliefs should be similar (again, not exact, just similar), and everything else can have variations of agreement and disagreement.

At her early stages in life, Casey has yet to realize that having someone like Derek around to challenge her, to make her chill out now and again, is good for her. If she were to be with someone as tightly wound as she is, it wouldn’t go well.

Derek, too, doesn’t understand how relationships work. When he does try for a relationship, he doesn’t handle the breakups all that well. He lets Kendra boss him around, and to get her attention in the first place, he tries to become something he’s not (even though that wasn’t what she was interested in). If you believe that to be with a person, you have to change who you are that extremely, then you don’t have a solid foundation on which to build a relationship.

3. Most people are not ready for a life-long commitment at 15, 16, and 17. Or even a few years after that. Derek and Casey have a lot of chemistry, they provide a balance to one another, and they are the reason that the other has bettered themselves over the years.

They have the potential to last.

That’s a terrifying thought when you’re still in high school, at least for most people. There are some expectations to this, and I know a handful of people who are happily married to their high school sweetheart, but that is not the norm. I think as much as Casey talks about love and whatever, that she’s just as afraid of commitment as Derek. There is a lot of self-sabotage in her relationships--but that’s a conversation for another day.

They aren’t ready for a commitment at that age. That age is such a weird, hard time. Not to mention that people change as they age and go through more experiences. Most people are not the same person at 25 that they were at 15.

People do not always change in the same way, either. You might be more prone to growing apart than growing together, depending on personalities. Granted, that likely wouldn’t be the case for them but they couldn’t know that at that age.

I think they need more life experience, in general, to be ready for the kind of relationship they have the potential for.

4. Dating is for Dumping. This is a kind of weird concept, but bear with me. I wound up going to this seminar type thing when I was in high school, called dating is for dumping. The basic premise was that its okay to date. As much as breakups suck, they’re okay, too. The idea behind dating is that you are looking for a potential partner in life, but you have to find that through trial and error. You figure out what you want in a partner, the kind of person you want to be with, through trial and error.

The first time you go on a date with someone who is rude to the waitstaff, and you sit there uncomfortable and with this vague idea that you don’t even want to be on a date with a person like this, let alone a second date, you’ve just decided that you don’t want to date a person who treats service works shitty.

If you are a church-going person, and you start dating a person who doesn’t go near church, then you might realize that you’re okay with that or you might realize that you would rather share that experience with someone.

Casey has a series of monogamous relationships, and it starts to paint a picture for her of the kind of person that she wants to date which, I think, is how she winds up with Truman. People have drawn parallels between him and Derek over and over again, and they aren’t wrong (though the two have very different fundamental beliefs). Derek has way fewer actual relationships.

Basically, the two need time to date people, to see what they want in a partner, to live life and grow up before they would ever be ready to put in the work for a relationship with one another.

This has turned into a very long, unexpected essay but these thoughts have been floating in my head a lot lately, and I decided to put them down for someone to possibly read one day. I dunno. I’ll still read fics that have them get together in high school, but at the moment I think MOST of my fics will center around them getting together in college or later.

[youllneverknowrac]

Oscar Diaz-Birthday Bash Pt.2

(Momma Bear Series)

When you finish getting dolled up, a breezy summer dress now on your body you head to the back yard, all of your kids outside helping Ruby decorate the backyard, including Cesar. Minus Alexander of course who sat happily in Jasmines arms as she watched her boyfriend command everything into perfection. Oscar working on firing the grill up.

“Hey girl, you look good.” The still crazy outgoing girl, now women compliments when you walk up to her.

“Thanks, so do you. Love the earrings. So where’s Monse?” You ask as you take a seat next to her,”Jamal?”

“Jamal is showing up after he gets off of work and Monsé couldn’t couldn’t make it. Something about her dad and his ankle this morning, I don’t know.” She shrugs, making faces down at Alex.

“That’s too bad.” You say sadly,”I’ll ask Cesar to find out what exactly happened.” Looking around as your backyard is slowly getting covered inch by inch in party decor,”I don’t know why Ruby hasn’t become a official party planner.” You joke

“Because I would go crazy with how stressed to the max he would be all the time. I don’t need that in my life and neither does nobody else.” She laughs, letting you think it over before agreeing with her statement.

“Okay true.” You say, making small talk with her before your husbands voice grabs your attention.

“Yo birthday boy! Bring daddy a beer.” You hear Oscar yell from across the yard, Angel sitting down and trying his best to blow up a balloon.

“Uh no!” You call out quickly to him, standing up and doing it yourself,”Don’t have our three year old bring you alcohol.” You scold playfully as you shove the can to his chest when you reach him.

“Aye, I’m fucking thirsty mama.” Oscar defends as he grabs the beer and pops the tab, the grill heating up,”Besides he’s a big boy now right? So I gave him a big boy task.”

“You’re so annoying.” You laugh and turn to walk away, Oscar smacking your ass roughly,”Stop.” You squeal, running away to go make yourself useful. Oscar’s loud laugh filling your ears.

“Hey boys.” You smile, watching as Cesar and Ruby secure the yellow plastic cover over one of the rental tables, your kids doing the same at another one.

“Y/N.” They both say in unison, offering a smile to follow

“Can I do anything to help out?” You ask

“No. We got this.” Your brother in law says, Ruby holding his finger up in disapproval.

“Actually, I noticed you guys didn’t have any dip or sauce for the snack table so if you could whip something up that would make everything look a lot more presentable. Thank you.”

“Right. Dip, I’m on it.” You smile and wave them off, running inside as Jasmine follows in,”If you want to set him down, his rocker is in the living room.” You tell her, pulling out a large bowl from the cabinets.

“I guess, he’s asleep anyway.” She says and puts him down before joining you,”Want me to help?”

“Sure. I have a basket of avocados and tomatoes in the fridge, I may have some limes and cilantro as well.” You tell her, Jasmine nodding.

The two of you work swift and quick around the kitchen, working as one and before you know it a beautiful bowl of guacamole is prepared. You glance at the clock on the wall as you make your way outside again, the party almost about to start. You admire the transformation in front of you, a huge grin on your face. The slide taking up most of your yard, a little kiddie pool set up for the younger kids, the speaker now blasting music, and baby shark decorations covering every inch.

“Ruby!” You say happily as you set the bowl down outside near the chips,”Everything is so perfect. You’re the best.”

“It was a bit of work, but I’m glad you like it.” He grins, fixing the collar on his button up shirt,”I’ll take my payment please. I’m now accepting cashapp as well.”

“You can talk to my husband about that one.” Motioning over to him as he worked on filling large foil trays with patty’s and sausages.

“I will do that...um no problem.” Ruby’s says and takes off in that direction, his fiancée following. Knowing that Ruby still had a unresolved nervous tick when it came to talking to Oscar sometimes.

“Hey Uncle Cesar.” You call out as you walk over to sit by the kiddie pool, watching Angel play. The older boys already making use of the slides.

“What’s up?”

“Can you please go get your nephew from the living room and then come tell me why Monse hasn’t been coming around anymore?” You ask

“Fine. Only cause I know you’re going to keep bugging me about it.” He groans, darting off inside the house.

“Mommy? I want to go on the big slide.” Angel says from the pool,”But I’m a wittle scared.” He admits shyly

“The slides for you papi. You don’t need to be be scared. Go ask Ant or JJ to help you, I’m sure they will.”

“Okay.” He grins excitedly, pushing the curls off his face before he goes in search of his big brothers.

One at a time, people start showing up to the party, Cesar joining you a few minutes later,”Had to change him, it was a messy one.” He says, handing over the fussy baby.

“Thanks.” You smile and let Alex chew on your knuckle as he brings it to his mouth,”So where is your long time girlfriend at?”

“She’s always busy with work and her dad, I don’t know. We’re just sort of drifting apart. That doesn’t mean she didn’t want to come today though, her dad messed up his ankle and she’s staying with him for a few days.” He explains, not being one to beat around the bush when it came to you.

“Why are you letting it drift apart then stupid?” You ask him with a raised eyebrow,”You can’t let adult shit keep you guys from being together. You guys are endgame, like me and Oscar.”

“I know, it’s just hard. And I don’t want it to be hard. I know we’ll get through it though, we always do. I just have to give her some space and she has to do the same for me. You know we’ve always been like that, it’s just how out relationship works.”

“It shouldn’t work like that though. You guys are 24 now, it’s time to buckle down. Don’t you agree to some extent?” You say with a small smile,”I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I’ve been in your life since you were 5. I care about you and love you. I just don’t want you to waste the best years of your life with Monse just for it to go no where, same for her. You both deserve a happy stable relationship.” A flashback popping into your mind of when you were 15 and Oscar brought you over to his house for the first time ever and you met a certain little Diaz brother.

“I know hermana, and I appreciate it but I don’t want to talk about this. At least not today. Okay?”

“Okay.” You sigh, changing your mood,”Now, go enjoy that really expensive slide with your nephews please. They missed you.”

“Will do.” He smiles and walks around to join the boys.

You sit back in the chair and enjoy the sun, watching as your back yard gets filled by the minute. Jamal managing to get off of work a bit earlier and picking up his growing family on the way, not really a surprise to you that he ended up being a young dad as well whenever Kendra got pregnant in their final year of college.

“Is that the Mrs.Oscar Diaz?” You hear him joke as he walks over with a pregnant Kendra and two year old daughter in his arms.

“Why yes it is.” You laugh and do a little shoulder shimmy. Standing up and placing Alex in the kiddy pool before you go over to hug the both of them.

“How have you guys been?” You grin from ear to ear,”How’s the parent life treating you?” You ask along with a bunch of other questions, always having loved the chats you shared with them. They make conversation with you for a while before going over to sit with Ruby and Jasmine, their daughter now sitting in the pool with Alex and two other baby’s from the neighborhood. After asking one of the other moms to keep a eye on Alex, you walk back over to Oscar. Standing on the other side of the grill this time, not wanting to feel his hand on your backside again.

“Where’s my food chef?” You joke as you push all of your hair to one shoulder.

“Aye, I’m going as fast as I can mami. Lot’s of people asking me for food around here.” He says with a wave of the spatula, his forehead covered in sweat.

“I’m sure Cesar wouldn’t mind taking over.” You suggest

“Do you want our kids party to end in flames? He ain’t coming no where near my grill.”

“You’re right.” You giggle in agreement,”But I think you’ve made enough to hold people over for a while.” You say after taking a look at both trays filled with meat,”Come enjoy the party. Please.”

“Only for a bit.” He says, switching the fire off before coming around to join you.

“Yay.” You cheer softly and wrap your arms around him when he’s in arms reach,”Let’s get some of the food you worked so hard on.”

“Gladly.” He says and pecks your lips before releasing you and reaching for a plate as you do the same. Once the two of you are satisfied you go back to your original spot by the pool and take a seat, Oscar by your side as you both talk and eat. Him being the one to discard of the trash when you’re both full and have had enough. When he returns he has a crying Carlos in his arms, clinging to his neck.

“Oh my god, what happened?” You ask quickly, letting Oscar place the six year old boy in you lap as you hold him to your chest.

“He fell, got a little cut on his knee. He’ll be okay but he wanted me to bring him to you. He said he’ll believe he’s okay when you say it.” Oscar informs you as he sits back down,”Apparently I don’t know shit about cuts so he’s got to hear it from the expert. Which would be mommy.” He chuckles.

“Shut up.” You say followed by a large eye roll before you cater to your son,”Does it hurt papi?” You ask him softly as you stroke his damp hair back

“A little. Is my leg going to fall off mommy?” He asks, little sniffles still coming from him.

“No. It’s not going to fall off.” You laugh and kiss his forehead,”You’re going to be all okay. I promise. Just sit with me for a few minutes and rest your leg. Then you can go play again, sound good?” You ask him

“Sounds good.” He answers quickly and lays his head against you, letting you cuddle him. You know people loved to judge you about how you ‘baby’ your kids but you didn’t care. They were your baby’s and always will be. Oscar actually liking that you treated them with such love and affection since it was something he never had growing up,”I feel better mommy, can I go now?” He asks not even two minutes later.

“Yes, just be careful.” You tell him seriously before letting him down from your lap, watching him take off back to the slide at a super speed.

“Must be nice. I pick him up, clean the cut and put the bandaid on, but you get all the love and credit.” Oscar comments next to you, a grin on his face.

“They are mommas boys, you should have gave me a girl if you wanted love and credit.” You smile and reach for his hand.

“We still have a few years of trying left in us. We can always get that girl. Maybe I’ll have a gift for you tonight and she’ll get here sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah right. The only person getting gifts is Angel and if your so called ‘gift’ ever comes near me again it better be wrapped. No baby’s here. Ever again.” You tell him seriously as you point to your stomach,”Five and done.”

“Sure.” He says smugly, taking a sip from the beer can.

“Damn right I’m sure. What the hell would we look like with six kids? Plus Junior is going to be 18 soon, we would have an adult for a kid and a newborn. You’re crazy.” You laugh

“We would look like a normal Hispanic family and we wouldn’t have to pay for a babysitter.” He laughs in return,”Besides I’m not being totally serious, I’m just messing with you.”

“Good.” You say and squeeze his hand,”I’m glad we’re on the same page. Now let’s cut the cake and then we can do presents.”

“Yeah just what we need, more monster trucks and fake tools laying around the house.” Oscar laughs as he stands up, helping you to your feet. The present table over flowing with boxes and gifts bags.

“I’ll just get rid of his old toys, he won’t even notice. I’ll get the baby and you go get the cake. Or do you want to switch?” You ask

“Switch.” He grins, already walking past you to pick up Alexander. You smile and head inside, grabbing the cake and cupcakes, along with a lighter. Oscar loudly instructing everybody to gather around, Angel rushing to the center of the table and climbing up on the chair.

“Cake! Hurry mommy.” He says excitedly with a clap of his hands.

“I’m coming.” You tell him and you hurry over and set everything down in front of him, lighting the three candles before stepping back.

“Nobody better smash his head into anything! Now sing!” Oscar quickly adds in before the famous birthday song commences, everybody keeping their hands to themselves when it comes to a end. A loud cheer erupts when he blows out the flame, Angel over joyed at this.

You help pass out the treats, letting everybody have time to eat before moving onto gifts. The rest of the part continuing to be just as perfect and lasting until late at night. Most of the kids passed out in random places around your house as the parents enjoy themselves until you nicely kick them all out.

~

“Thanks again for staying to clean up.” You thank Cesar at the door,”get home safely. Love you.”

“Love you guys.” He says, heading to his car after and driving away. You yawn tiredly and lock up, the time reading a little past one in the morning now. The older boys just going to bed a few minutes ago, wanting to enjoy the slide for as long as they could since it was being picked up early in the morning. Angel and Alex already in your bed and absolutely drained from today’s activities.

“I think that’s everything.” Oscar slurs as he comes in through the back door with another garbage bag filled with trash. He sets it down in the kitchen with all the others before stumbling towards you,”I’ll take it all out in the morning.”

“That’s okay with me.” You giggle and help him walk to your guys bedroom,”Drank a bit too much huh?”

“Just a bit.” He laughs,”But I still managed to clean the yard up pretty well.”

“You did. I’ll give you that.”

“I’m so tired mami, I need sleep.” He groans, kicking his shoes off and not bothering with his clothes as he goes over to the bed.

“Careful. The boys are asleep already.” You remind him, already undressing yourself and pulling a t-shirt over your body, Oscar grumbling in understanding. Showering could just wait until tomorrow. You join them in bed, your eyes already closing before your head even hits the pillow. Today being long, hectic, tiring, and happy all rolled into one. Knowing that in just a few more months you would be throwing another party and then another after that. Which was all okay with you, you loved your boys and their birthdays were something you took pride in making special. This was the life you signed up for after all with five kids and what not.