#that's yu's baby you wouldnt get it

[putterphubase]

( ˘ ³˘)♥

I SAW YOU IN MY DREAM | EP. 8

[momoliee]

It’s probably too early for The Meta No One Asked For That I’m Gonna Write Anyway about XQC, alas…here we go

Dr. Xie Qingcheng, 32, male, straight (so far), 180 cm with only one current family member.

Xqc is introduced as a cold, aloof and apathetic retired doctor who has no passions, cares about nothing except for his sister, and unless he’s angry, you can barely get an emotional response out of him.

Through meatbun’s character notes on how he has no favorite food, no favorite color or animal, no personal preferences outside what’s most practical and how he’s very very responsible and rules abiding and honest and sober and serious, and through he yu’s POV that continuously paints him as this heartless cold blooded person, I dare say we were…deceived by this so far shades of gray picture we had of him.

Xqc was born into a finically stable middle class family consisting of two cops for parents and a younger sister that came into the world 8 years after him. When he turned 13, and his sister was only 5 at that time, his parents were fired from their job due to a case they shouldn’t have been investigating going wrong, and they had to move to a rural area. Not long after that, he witnessed both his parents’ deaths and saw their corpses with his own eyes, the site was bloody and there’s no way it didn’t traumatize a pre-teen like him. He then was tasked with taking care of his sister, becoming a doctor despite not wanting to, owing others favors and spending all his money on smth that’s yet to be revealed instead of enjoying it. He got married, not to a woman he loves but to someone whom he thought of as “suitable and appropriate”, got cheated on and went through a divorce before losing full interest in the marriage life. He was finally able to retire (we don’t know why yet) and live a quiet, normal, boring life.

I believe xqc loved his parents, I believe he loved them so much cause in chapter 20, he mentions how he thought he wouldnt be able to live past the grief, he wouldn’t be able to go on or move forward, how the grief completely overtook him. He also mentions how he used to play with knots and handcuffs when he was a child, which shows how close he was to them. So for a child who had a good stable life with two loving parents to suddenly fall from a class to a class, suddenly lose both parents and see their corpses with his own eyes, that must’ve fucked him up big time. I’m talking “when can I fully register all of this” kind of fucked up. But he didn’t have time to fully absorb all of this, didnt have the time to sit down and cry, he had a sister, she was only 5, where will they get the money from? What were they gonna do? How was he going to continue school while caring for her? He didn’t have the time to sit down and grief, to sit down and adjust. For a child who had a normal life and didn’t have to worry much about the money like every other middle class kid, he was suddenly burdened with poverty AND loss, and duty and responsibility. Good bye to the days of playing with handcuffs and knots huh?

You ask me, why does xqc not have a favorite food? I answer you, because many many nights, he didn’t know what to feed his sister, much less himself. Cause I bet that many nights, he would have to give up his portion for Xie Xue, to make sure a kid like her is full. Cause he couldn’t afford to be picky, couldn’t afford to choose; whatever was edible will be eaten, taste and flavor be damned. He had to start working from a young age, balance school, babysitting and working all at once. The last friend he made (I think) was that Chen Man guy whose parents were friends with his parents, back when they were alive and life was good. He didn’t have time to make friends, or go out, or have a favorite color or visit the zoo and decide on a favorite animal. No, he had to study, and study hard to become more financially stable and support Xie Xue, he had to raise his baby sister and protect her, he had to work or else how will he put food on their table? Yet he never lost his soft kind heart, cause when his sister asked for a laptop, he bought her one just so that she wouldn’t feel less than any of the other children.

Xqc had to SURVIVE, he had to make do with what he had and what he didn’t have. He didn’t have time to sit down and cry or process his trauma, didn’t even have time to think of adolescent love or his youthful days or do what kids his age did. And all of that carried forward into his adult life. He pushed his emotions back so hard and had his practical, business like mind take care of everything in order to make it through the days. He started to believe that passionate emotions such as love and hate and lust and desire were all a waste of time, a distraction from his duties, smth that will rock the delicate balance he created with his everyday busy schedule. Emotions will stunt you, emotions will delay you, crying and not going to work today means no food to feed his hungry sister with. That’s when he started thinking, strong emotions are a DISEASE, they will take up your time, cloud your judgement, have you make reckless decisions that you’ll regret later. And he couldn’t afford any of that right? Strong emotions are for the weak, they put you in crutches and disable you from moving forward. Wasnt that what he told his ex wife? If he had submitted himself to his grief back then, where would his sister be? Where would he be? How could they have grown up to be healthy and successful adults?

So this man taught himself practicality and duty and priorities. He stopped thinking about himself, about what he wants and what he feels, and instead started making sure that those around him are happy and content and safe and well taken care of. He no longer had desires or passions, he only had rules and regulations. If a person lost their sense of taste, would they still want chocolates and burgers? Would they still have cravings and foods they’d rather swallow medicine than eat? No. If so, how will they decide on what to eat every day? They’ll simply start following a “perfect nutritional plan” and “balanced diet”. They’d eat what they have to eat, when they have to eat, and in the exact portion they need. To them eating would be another chore they have to do every day to keep their bodies going. Similarly, with xqc, graduating, working, marrying, taking care of his sister and auntie, these all became “tasks” and “chores” that he had to abide by and follow. They became the dietary plan for his life till he dies, the outline he shall follow, the textbook rules he will carry out, no need to think of what he “wants” or “desires”, what will make him “happy” or bring him “joy”. He no longer listened to his emotions when making decisions. Even when marrying his ex wife, he married her cause she was “a suitable match”, not for her looks or personality or anything. Feelings are life’s taste buds, and once you remove them, everything becomes tasteless and mundane, and practicality/logic takes over. He stopped knowing what it felt like to choose based on your preferences, cause he stopped having the luxury of choice ever since that night when he was 13, and he no longer was able to re-teach himself the meaning of free will and choice.

So when he yu, in chapter 20, asked him how he would’ve acted if Xie Xue had died, and he said, “I would’ve continued living as I am today till my last breath,” he wasn’t being “cold” or “heartless” or “indifferent” as he yu likes to say. He was being practical and methodical and thinking with a logical approach, rather than an emotional one, just the way he taught himself to throughout all these years. His almost 2 decades of pure survival mode and severely repressed feelings spoke in the form of autopilot. “I would do what I have to do, what I’ve always done every day of my life so far cause what choice do I have?” Is what he meant to say.

But I believe that he’s a soft hearted, kind and loving person. He never says no his sister, never says no to his auntie, helped that homeless man as best as he could, taught he yu that he was normal and that he wasn’t a monster, believed in treating his patients with words instead of medicine prescriptions, believed that the mentally ill deserve to live normally instead of being locked up. I believe that underneath all the shit he has buried, there’s a lot of passion and love that’s been kept dormant for 19 years.

In conclusion, idk where meatbun is gonna take his character but I genuinely hope he gets to heal, and start having more color and flavor in his life. Start allowing himself to live, not just survive.

[sunset-bridge]

persona 4 for the blorbo

YES persona 4 worms in my head..........

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

YOSUKE if you couldnt already tell by my url and blog in general asdhbhsdah. hes babie and also a fool but i love him sm <3. i also think about Yu a lot hes just a dusty guy i made a plush of him if that says anything.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

NANAKO NO CONTEST NANAKO 100% NANAKOOOO she gives me mother instincts i didnt know i had help

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Ok is Chie super popular? i feel shes definetly not as popular as say, Yosuke perhaps. Also Teddie :3 hes a funny bear but theres so much more to him and his whole concept tingles my brain. ALSO look i know Naoto is pretty popular but i feel people dont quiiiiiite appreciate their whole character? Then again this is just me seeing myself perhaps too much in a character but i have a lot of Feelings for Naoto.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

OK naoki (saki-senpais brother) like.. hello?? i thought he was just going to be an asshole with me all the time but my man just wanted to talk to someone and hes like so awkward but so genuine.....help i really like him i hope he has a good life and also doing his bond just help me give more strenght to my hate for the murderer <3 fuck you you ruined this families life fuck you fuck you

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

(i think for certain individuals yosuke qualifies here but for some kinda Personal reasons i really respect the guy and while i admit hes a bit of an absolute idiot sometimes i wouldnt call him pathetic)

BUT OK well, i appreciate Adachi's CHARACTER but hes such a fucking bastard lmao ksajdkjdhaaj. as a person i hate his guts but as a character hes a very interesting guy so i want to put him in a shoebox and shake him around a bit

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

again adachi i already said it jhsdhhgaash. put him on the dishwasher maybe he will be a better person.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

uh triple adachi time baby?? also that stupid ass nurse on the hospital bitch my dad is a police officer im getting yo ass in JAIL (thats what happened in my canon actually ahdsjbagshdhaj)

[butch-bakugo]

Hidden memory that i just managed to remember of that time i(prior to transtioning aka i was cis girl who was fully a tomboy) went to my local library because they were hosting a "yu gi oh club" and was super excited to meet other nerds who liked it, even of i was more into pokemon. Then when i walked in, i was the only girl in the room full of sweaty m'lady types and hung around a guy i kinda knew from school who always looked like trash and boasted about beating people up n shit but at least i knew him.

Then i just would occationally watch some people battle while carrying a cute little tin of like... 150-200 cards of my own then someone asked me how many times id battled other people and i was like "not really ever. Im more of a collector/trader but maybe i could-" then he cut me off and said "ok well no one here is gonna teach you.". I asked what he planned on telling new people who were curious and genuinely didnt know how to battle(cause i know how to battle, i just choose not to lol) and he said he'd kick them out(despite him not being the leader of this club).

Then i watched these guys basically pull the most anime cliche move of walking around and telling other guys that "she's not a battler, shes a trader" while looking and pointing at me. Then some really big nerd asked to see my set so i let him look through it and he just went down the list of how useless and weak all my cards were so probably wouldnt stand a chance ( despite having a fucking game legal blue eyes white dragon but ok dude) fighting anyone here. Then dissed my favorite card which was a blue elf lady cause "shes weak and boring" and i really liked her cause she was the first one i got.

I felt like alot of people were stareing at me and i kept getting baby talked when ever someone spoke to me like i didnt know anything about yugioh when it was something id been into for years at that point. It was also getting uncomfortable cause id caught at least 3 guys looking at my chest and every man who spoke to me, touched me. Like it was the arm, the shoulder and i had enough once one tried to squeeze behind me between my chair and me( despite the fukn 4 ft of empty space behind me and my chair) and i felt something poke me. Eventually i got the hint and just fuckin left and played on the computers and never went back.

I still like yu gi oh and its cards but that really turned me off from enjoying the game. I was treated like some uwu dumb gamer girl when i just wanted to connect with others who had a similar interest of mine, even if i wasnt a super fan by any means. Its not shocking that i was the only woman most of them had spoken to in middle school by that point thou so yeah.

Mysogny is everywhere, folks.

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[quirklessidiot]

I noticed the way you write their dialogue is like an English translation of the japanese text🤔

When i read it i sometimes replace it with japanese words. Like whenever someones says “you, you’re” in Minazuki i replace it with their probably appropriate pronouns.

Y/n is definitely the type to use “anata” for everyone being the polite girl that she is. Maybe the rudest she can get is “anta”?

Fun fact. Anata is usually used by wives to refer to their husbands. So it’s either the most polite form of “you” in the japanese language or a couple thing, context🤩

ah ive seen that!!!! i was wondering earlier if they would have pet names but i settled with her calling him his name and satoru just calling her wife (as an endearment now unlike before) but they usually do that only in private. (altho he does call her baby in sexy time so uh yay)

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫 Connected to this how would gojo’s jealousy manifest?

Yu HAHAHAHA </3 thats it, Yu. hes still disturbed. altho he does try not to let it get to him

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫 Was there some flirting when she help put on his kimono?😏

wouldnt say flirting but y/n likes to openly compliment satoru when he wears his traditional clothing <3 she did say back in ch1 how he stood out in the crowd and she wasnt in love with him then.

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫 When gojo takes her out on a date I have my own scenario idea where it's crossed together with that one jjk audio. He takes her out to some non conventional date places. But in my mind y/n still has fun cause she never experienced things like that when she was a kid and teen plus it's gojo. She'll probably enjoy anything as long as he's there with her. The funniest part is at the angel maid cafe and gojo is just simping over her halo and angel wings and taking tons of pictures. Meanwhile megumi and yuji are at the back wondering why they even followed those 2.

hc, gojo would take her out to places shes never been to before (amusement parks etc) and they'd even go ski riding up the mountains in japan if he isnt busy. nd yes, y/n does enjoy anything as long as theyre together <3

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫 Gojo buying flowers for minazuki!wifey

those flowers looking like theyre for the dead people.... chz :") AHAHAHHAHAHAHA

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫 Y/n won that game. I wonder what she'll asked gojo to do😏 I imply smutty things but it could be fluffy and emotional. Like she may ask gojo to always be by her side, to come back to her, never leave her, lots of tear jerk worthy stuff

heheheheheehehehe :)))))))))))))))))))))))

[randomsevans]

a stab to the heart

Captain weekly challenge

@captain-a-rogerss​

@optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​

@donutloverxo​

RANSOM X READER 

a/n : i know i write quite abit of angst but i couldn't help myself , even tho i try to write soft Ransom because i dont think he gets much love , but i just had to write him as the true arsehole he is .

You should know this day would come , why on earth did you fall form him ? ,Trust him ? Believe he would change for YOU !

This wasn't how today was meant to be , it was meant to be your anniversary , A year you have put up with  his shit but you did it anyway because you stupidly fell for him. You've dealt with it all his  shit show of a family ,his drinking , partying. Your voices which you should of listen to from the beginning . After all you should know to trust you gut felling , but your heart just over powered.

Despite all the times he would leave and you wouldnt hear from him for days , or his constant partying with his friends , knowing fine well theyd be girls all around much like it was before you , You trusted him , believed him . After all who are you to call the man you love , who says he love you and to trust him , who are you to call him a liar . 

but that was what he was . 

after all he is Ransom FUCKIN Drysdale . 

you had woken up by a soft pair of lip touch your cheek ,but it wasn't gental or sweet , it was rushed 

“y/n ! im leaving right , ill see ya soon “ Ransom husky morning voice echoed through out your room . Ransom may have said in a harsh tone , but you must of thought because it was so early in the morning and he probably didn't want to leave . After all today is you anniversary . But at least it was an improvement , in the past he would just get up and leave 

“okay “ you grumbled as you rubbed your eyes turning on your back , pulling the sheets with you as you opened your eyes to see Ransom pulling his brown coat over  his shoulder sorting out the collar . A small smile placed on your lips , as you were mesmerised by how lucky you were to have someone as hansom as him . “why dont you say ?” you said softly 

“i cant !” he snapped back , not in such a bitter tone , like he use with most , he has always been kinder to you but it was still enough for you to be slightly offend 

“umm okay “ you nervously said sitting up , “where you going ?“

he let out a deep sigh as his eyes slighted towards you in announce “out ! “ he snapped once again , until a small smug smile place on his lips “iv got something to take care of “ 

you nodded being as naive and in love ,you didn't dare question him further until a wide smile placed on your lips as you remembered what today is “im still seeing you later ya !” you  asked all giddy 

“uhhhh .. it depends on how today goes “ he let out a dry chuckle 

“oh okay “ you though maybe he was trying to wind you up he might have a surprise for you like you do for him , He does remember what today is doesn't he ?

ransom turned the door nob and opened the door , not even glancing at you . “see ya !” it was cold , nothing sweet about it. but before you could answer you heard him bounce down the stair , and soon after heard the front door open and close . 

You sighed , dragging your self out of bed , but still feeling good about the day . He was probably only winding you up . 

so you got up and got ready for the day , 

***************************************************************************************

some time had past , and you were becoming more anxious ,to know if Ransom was actual going to come , of course he would , but what kept him from  not spending the day with you again . Especial today of all days . 

you tried to ignore the little voice in your head doubting him , where could he be ? who is he with ? what is he doing ? did he forget ?

you hide those thoughts in the back of your head , as you reminded your self of the plans you had for him . But you still could not help the gut feeling that something was off . So as you made your way up the stair you rang Ransoms phone , it rang through and went to voicemal by the time you got to the top of the stairs , You decided to try one more time , and as you did you heard a ringing noise coming from your bedroom . You lifted your brow in confustion and headed into your bedroom , The ringing contuined , you quickely glanced around , to see what it was , It was then you saw Ransom phone , was laying on the floor , inbetween the door and your dresser . 

You let out a little giggle , at Ransom for being foolish leaving his phone . It must of feel out of his coat pocket . 

You shook your head picking it up from the ground , you chucked it on the bed , along with your phone and made  your way in to your wardrobe to get ready for  when ransom gets back 

It didnt take you long to get ready , as you had gotten dress , applied little makeup (gift above )

you frowned releasing the time , once again , but you sighed , trying to remain , calm , and have a good day . But as you turned to grab your phone , yu quickly remembered you have Ransoms

you titled your head in curiosity , maybe you could find out what he was doing , or maybe call one of his friend to see where he was . As you grabbed his phone , you suddenly felt uneasy , and no it wasnt your lunch . You suddenly felt guilty for going through his phone it felt like you were invading his  privacy . You nibbled on your bottom lip . Surely it would be fine , its not like he has anything to hide , right ?

so you opened up his phone , and went to unlock it , when you released you needed to enter a password , that you didnt know . You stranded there for a minted thinking with one hand on your hip covered by you silk black robe .Ransom was a very forgetfully person   clearly . So you had to think of something , he wouldn't forget , and it was then you tried his birthday . NOPE didnt work . And then you remembered four number that were more important to Ransom his card pin BINGO you were in . 

But your heart suddenly began to beat fast , now you were in his phone , what were you going to do now , its not like anyone know where he is . So you decided to go on to message and see who it was that last text him , maybe there needed him and thats where he went ? Maybe ? 

so as you pressed the little green bubble at the bottom of the screen , you were met with a string of conventions . Your brows raised , as you saw , random numbers , and anitionals  with little side notes in brackets . The top one was just labelled as J.S? (good when told  ) . You decide to click on it , as a wave  of anxiety  hit you  , 

you saw a short line of blue and white message back a forth  as your eyes bluurd one the words as your eyes become glossed over . while your chest tightend and you colsaped onto the bed . You heart sank , and torn all at once while your head become dizzy . You read through the text to make sure , your eye wernt tricking you 

J.S : Ransom , baby where are you ? you promised       

                          R.D : ill be there soon iv just got to finish up over here first 

J.S :kk ill be waiting 😉😘

                          R.D : oh i know you will be ! 

you  shaking lifted your hand , and click on another , and another conversation , that were just as similair some that had when on longer others that were shorter . Some were similar , a thank you and telling him to call them back . 

A small tear trippled down your cheek ,as you read through the message , you were even be able to find your own somewhere between a 11 digets number and a ALICE ? (decent) 

And you , You were simple save as y/n (err okay ?)

you felt anger rage through you , as you shot up from your bed . 

***********************************************************************************

And thats where you found your self now , just finished collecting all off Ransom cloths and things that he has left over . Watching them burn in the sink , turn to ash as you add to the glowing  flames as you pour the vodka you were currently sipping on , over the fire .  You turned facing away the kitchen isle as you lifted your arm as rubbed your eyes over your silk rob smuging your mascara . 

you looked down towards the cake that you had brought . You honestly dont know why tho .But you couldnt help but star at its delicate white piping around the edge and the swirls . It was kind of funny how you saw your self  in a cake . You was kind of like it before Ransom , sweet , and elegant  and now you were this A girl crying over an arsehole burning his cloths , after finding out he had been cheating . But you were surprisingly okay with that 

But the temptation was to much , you held to much rage with in . That you couldnt help but ick up a knive and stab through the cake  imagining Ransom face . With a harsh bang crumes where flying everway .You could help but laugh at your self , as you  took out your frustrations at on a cake . 

your anger , mixed with vodka made your turn into a fit of gigles that echoed through the kitchen . It was until you heard the openoing of the front door , you stopped , your face dropped as you griped the knive harder . 

“ha babe , i left my ... what the fuck !”

[voidselfshipp]

Cute jealousy

Cw:food, abandoment issues ment

Ok to rb

Yu//lei x jerico

(Pic not mine)

Yu lei fell on the bed, resting on his back, his wet hair resting on the sheets just above the pillows.

He wouldnt try to brush it now, his body was too sore from training all day.

The ambience was calm, way too calm.

Something...or Rather someone was missing.

The door god is scared shitless when he feels someone jumping on the bed.

He sits up opening his eyes, then turning to look At--

--Jerico!--Yu lei said as he grabbed his girlfriend by the waist sitting him on his lap--dont do that! You scared me!

Jeri giggled-- ah it was fun!-- both chuckle and their gazes meet.

Her hand pressed softly against his cheek, he took it and kissed her palm.

--y'know yu, youre so handsome-- jer said pressing a kiss to his lips.

He smiled,and kissed her again-- youre beautiful too, Like the lilys floating on calm water...

Her cheeks redden, and she looks away-- thats...thats actually adorable...

The Man smiles, And caresses her Lower lip with his thumb,as his hand lifted her head up by the chin-- I imagine one thousand ways I could make you blush-- he said leaning closer-- but I know you dont like it when I do that

-- you know me so well babe--jerico said leaning closer.

They stay in silence, looking at eachother with half lidded eyes, lips brushing.

Her hands pressed against his chest, his spare arm around her waist.

Their lips meet as both fall on the bed, laughing and Rolling around it,then kissing again.

Now he was ontop of her, resting on his forearms.

Moments Like these,with her legs wrapped around his hips,arms hugging his neck, he lived for those moments.

Suddenly the door opens wide-- brother! Its rogman! Hes here the uh-- shen tu stops midway through his sentence as yu lei looks at him with the biggest death stare he has ever seen his brother do.

--am I...interrupting something?

Yu lei and jerico sit up.

--ill...ill be down there in a moment--shen tu nodds and closes the door.

Scoffing the door god stands up-- stay here okay?

She nodds and he kisses her quickly walking down the stairs to the yard.

Jeri peeks her head out the Window, scowling.

Rogman, the mayors right hand Man and inspector of the spirit world had some....helpers.

One of them was a girl that had a crush on yu lei.

Jer growled as she saw the spirit fly around him, even if he wouldnt pay attention to her, and by human standards that helper was just a kid.

Jerico couldnt help but feel a bit jealous, turning to look at her boyfriend's closet.

She stood up and changed into some of his clothes, sure, they didnt fit her too well, but she managed to look fairly decent.

So she calmly Walked to the kitchen and grabbed two cookies, one for her and the other for her Man.

She stepped into the yard hugging yu lei from behind, who instantly knew what was up when he felt her arms.

Rolling his eyes the door god looks at his girlfriend-- oh hi jer

--hey babe, cookie?

He nodded opening his mouth as she fed him the cookie, he then grabbed said cookie.

--ah...yu lei...I see that your human partner is still here-- rogman said-- not causing any trouble...right?

Yu lei looking at jeri said-- my baby right here?, no not at all~

Jer smiled as she saw rogmans girl helper seeth with jealousy.

Rogman himself just scoffed-- stay that way, anyway, we are leaving..

Once he left the door gods and jer went back home.

--you got yourself an overprotective girlfriend brother-- shen tu said eating a cookie.

Yu lei laughed-- nah, shes not like that, jerico just has some abandoment issues, besides its cute to see her get all jealous like that, she wore my clothes and all--His brother rolled his eyes--one day youll fall in love too shen tu, and youll see what I mean

The other door god rolled his eyes-- look at you all wise and old, anyway you should get back to your girlfriend before she drags you up the stairs

Yu lei rolled his eyes and went back into his room, finding jerico with a hairbrush resting on her lap.

He rolled his eyes closing the door behind him and sitting infront of her.

He yawned as soon as she started brushing his hair, she Hummed softly and the door god felt tired.

-- you didnt have to do that,-- he said-- getting jealous...I dont really mind, you know im happy with you--jers about to say sorry when he stops her-- ah ah, let me finish-- he Turned at her and winked, making her blush-- it was cute, you wearing my clothes was cute, warm me Next time

Both laughed-- im glad youre not mad, its just...I want you all for myself yu

The door god nodded turning to her-- hey...I wouldnt be happy with anyone except you, I want you to know that jerico,hell, youre the only person I loved this hard in my life, youre my one and only, and my heart rests in your hands okay?

He takes her hands and kisses her.

Jerico kisses back cupping his cheeks.

Yu lei breaks the kiss and turns around to let her Keep brushing his hair.

--Yu? Yuyu-- jeri said--oh...he fell asleep...

Chuckling at the cuteness she finished combing his hair and left him rest on his back.

Taking a quick trip for a snack she found shen tu--you know?--he said-- you really make my brother happy-- the door god said with a smile-- its the first time I saw him this happy, thank you

-- your brother is an amazing Man shen tu, my life wouldnt be the same without him,oh let me just--- she grabbed a Plate with some cookies-- just in case me and yu get hungy

They said their goodbyes and jerico went back to bed, leaving the cookies on the nightstand and laying with yu lei on bed resting on his chest.

His arms hugged her waist and she covered them both.

Yawning she feels him roll to his side, lettint her shove her head on his chest.

And like that they fell asleep, they were eachothers to Keep.

[lovesickmochi]

updates and descriptions.

hey. it’s been a while since i posted on here.

there’s been a shit ton of changes in my life and i wouldn’t have it in any other way. people have come and go, but there’s so so many people that stayed. i didn’t ask them to stay, they stayed on their own. 

as much as i would love to tell them, “don’t leave my life. you’re too important for me to lose”, i feel like they already know that through my actions and my kindness towards them. 

first off, there’s my brother. he’s 27, and we’re at least a decade apart in age. but mentally and emotionally, we’re the same person. the first time he and i met, he was still a teenager and i was a baby. since then, we rarely interacted but i already knew, somehow, that he was going to be my favorite kuya. 2018, when my dad passed away, he stepped into my life as the guy that i could depend on and look up to. i’m actually an only child, so i didn’t know what it was like to have a sibling. since he stepped into my life, even when he moved to la and back here in sj, we’ve been inseparable. 

every day we interact, through instagram dms, discord dms... and we hangout almost every weekend now. even through quarantine, we’ve been hanging out. i know what you’re thinking. what’s a 17 year old hanging out with a guy who’s almost 30? well, let me answer that. he saved my life. he kept me from ending my life due to depression over the trauma that i suffered when my dad passed away. apparently, i saved his life too.. he went through a rough breakup and he was falling apart. his siblings did their best, but i truly felt that i, a teenager, should step in and be the little sister that he never had. i introduced him to my group of friends, who i now call my siblings too, well. except for the guy im kinda dating, but that doesnt matter in this paragraph.

 i wanted him to experience the last few parts of my childhood before i become an adult, since he, unfortunately, had to miss out on most of it. my friends and i love him very much and the fact that he’s now so comfortable with them, means everything to me. i love him with every part of me, and i’m thankful for everything he’s done for me. from getting me food, to giving me his old pc, to letting me spend time with him on the weekends, to letting me bother him so i could rant, to spilling all the tea with him, all that jazz. 

kuya, if you see this, i love you. 

second, there’s my older sister. 

she’s a couple of months older than kuya. it was her birthday recently and she and kuya spent the night here at my place. instead of sleeping, kuya and i were laughing at the most random shit, and ended up getting mcd’s and starbucks at 6am. meanwhile, ateh was knocked the fuck out on the living room couch. i helped take care of her with the best of my abilities and im glad that i was able to keep her happy and safe. 

she and i share a huge love for disney and it’s a huge goal for us to be able to go to disneyland together. she has this laugh that is so contagious, you wouldnt be able to stop laughing around her. like how some of my friends describe me, she’s literally a ball of sunshine. she’s the dorkiest person i know, and i can obv relate to her in so many ways. although there’s not a lot of things i know about her, i can proudly say that she’s my favorite ateh. i want to get to know her more, and i always want to hangout with her when she’s available.

ateh, if you see this, i love you.

third, there’s my other two older sisters. 

even though we’re a year and a couple days apart in age, i love them with everything. there’s the bird lady and the cat lady. 

the bird lady is older than the two of us, and she’s, different. she’s the kind of person who’s closed off to so many other people and she doesnt get the chance to experience many things that most people my age. most of the time, she’s reading or gaming or drawing, and i find it interesting that she can keep herself entertained most of the time. she’s so different from everyone else, yet she let me into her life and allowed me to be there for her. she’s strong. she’s beautiful and she doesnt know it yet. i want to be there for her when she becomes the person she wants to be.

she and i met in my freshman year in choir. she was already in concert choir two, and both choirs merged together for a concert song. when i first saw her, i may or may have not had a small crush on her. she doesnt believe me when i say that, but oh well. we ended up officially meeting in my sophomore year when i join her in concert choir two. i learned about her boundaries and i got to know her more when we were placed in the altos section together. the day when i started to really become friends with her, was when i joined a discord server with a bunch of other people that i was friends with in april 2020. it’s been over a year of me being in that server, and after so many obstacles, i get to call her my sister as well. 

in that same server, i got to meet the cat lady. she’s the witch in our friend group and she is so fucking hyper. in a good way. when i first interacted with her, i was like, “damn shes loud. i like her”. i got to know her, i became friends with her, and now i can call her my sister as well. we never met in person up until halloween 2020. apparently she met the bird lady way before i joined the server. since we met in person, i also got to know her mom. she’s strict, but she’s a very sweet person as well. 

the cat lady is a person who would do anything and everything for her friends and family no matter what gets in her way to stop her. there are many many times where i want to say that i proud of her for everything that she’s done already. but i feel that she already knows that. i know she knows that i love her. she’s someone that i want to protect, to guide her through the hard shit, to be there for when she falls apart. 

to my sisters, if you see this, i love you.

and then there’s my little brother, my bunso.

he’s something else. he’s weirdly one of the best people that’s stepped into my life and somewhat changed me for the better. he and i go to the same school, and i’ve seen him in marching band. but get this, we never met until we interacted in the discord server. we’ve seen each other but we just never met. since i met him, i got to meet him in person halloween 2020, along with the cat lady. there’s honestly not a lot that i can say about him, since i still have yet to get to know him more, but what i can say is that i’m glad that i can call him my brother. he, along with everyone else i mentioned in this post, is someone i want to always be there for no matter what, to support and love through everything. 

to my bunso, if you see this, i love you.

~

to everyone i mentioned;

i know that i dont always say i love you. i know that i dont always show my appreciation for you. i know that im not always the best person.

but.

here i am now. showing you that i appreciate every single one of you. thank yu for coming into my life and making sure that i dont fall apart. thank you for making laugh and smile and feel complete. thank you for keeping me safe in your hearts, and trusting me to do the same. thank you for hanging out with me, for interacting with me, for meeting me and seeing me as a good person. thank you for keeping me in check, making sure that im okay, that i at least laugh once or more throughout the day. 

seriously. thank you for everything that you’ve done for me and more. 

-

yes i cried making this.

i love you.

~ mochinyx_

[forzhengting]

bias tag (2.0) ! i did this like a couple months ago i think kavlskjdflk but uhh i have significantly less biases now so i wonder how that’ll go

rules: list 10 biases and then answer the questions tagged by @kyukyuhunnie <3

biases:

zhu zhengting (nex7)

fan chengcheng (nex7)

sun qian (actress)

liu xiening (ytsn & ggd)

lin yun (actress)

yang chaoyue (solo)

justin huang (nex7)

cheng xiao (wjsn & solo)

fei qiming (actor)

yu shuxin (the9)

this is a very rough list im sorry i litearlly barely stan anyone 😭

questions: 

1. between 1 and 4 who would you rather kiss?

so............. xiening ily but zhengting is my ult for a reason 🥺💖

2. between 2 and 7 who would be your best friend?

. RUDE ? bold of u to assue i wouldnt be bffs w both chengcheng AND justin 😌 but uhh if i had to choose i feel like i’d get along better w justin lol probably bc theres less of a age gap LMAO

3. between 5 and 10 who has the better voice?

shuxin’s ! i love her voice in sphinx its the only good part best part <3 mainly bc i dont think ive actually properly heard lin yun sing since shes an actress

4. between 9 and 10 who would you collab with?

oooh i cant sing but like i’d love to act w shuxin 🥺 i love them both but just. i dont think u understand i would Kill to meet shuxin irl shes so fun i just wanna be her bff <3

5. between 1 and 8 who is the funniest?

hmmm okay so cheng xiao’s disses are always so funny but probably cause im biased zhengting always makes me laugh LMAO like zhengting could say the lamest joke ever and i would still laugh bc its him 😌💘

6. between 6 and 9 who would you date?

these questions are . hard 😐 im sorry idk i love them both 😭😭😭 maybe probably feifei... ? i feel like i’d be more like bffs w chaoyue rather than dating but its v close

7. between 4 and 8 who is the better dancer?

OOF you rlly had to get two main dancers huh... both of them are amazing u cant make me choose sorry 😌 xiening and cheng xiao world domination sorry i dont make the rules here 

8. between 3 and 5 who would you most likely marry?

SUN QIAN MY BABY <3 u could put anyone else here and the answer would still be sun qian i justlove her so much n she deserves the world and i just think she so amazing and im gonna stop now before i end up w an entire essay but just know that i luv her 🥺💖

9. between 1 and 7 who would you nurse when sick?

hi justin im sorry (not rlly) but its zhengting :) 

10. between 6 and 8 who would you vacation with?

chaoyue !! itd be so fun we’re both like highkey energetic and talk a shit ton so there would never be a dull moment no matter where we go

tagging @lovingkei @lovleez @keranqi @princekunge~

[shizekarnstein]

do you have a list of favourite anime/manga?

I've been pondering over this ask for days. I wasn't sure about the criteria at the hour to pick my choices. At the end I decided for the ones that never tire me, the ones I can read all over again without noticing. So this is my totally biased list of favorite manga titles.

Slam Dunk

This manga follows the story of teenage delinquent and total loser Hanamichi Sakuragi, who in order to impress the beautiful basket fanatic Haruko Akagi, decides to become an athlete and join their school's basketball team, Shohoku. From there the story follows the team and their dream to finally make it as regional champions. All the characters are amazing, the games gripping, the story engaging. Also I cried like five times.

It's practically vox populi that I'm a hoe for sport stories. And Slam Dunk is hands down the very best there is. All those other sport mangas that are older or newer or even more popular? They don't get even close. Slam Dunk is just that good. The character development, the intensity of the games, the accuracy at the hour of despicting the sport. It really feels like real life basketball, not some superpowered shounen like copy. You can feel Inoue's passion and love for the sport practically emerge from the pages.

Fullmetal Alchemist

Do I even need to give a summary for this one? Practically everybody has see the anime adaptation.

I know, I know, it's a classic. BUT YOUR LIFE WILL ONLY BE COMPLETE ONCE YOU READ THE MANGA. Brotherhood is an amazing adaptation, but it cut so many details and moments. And in an story where everything comes together as neatly as in Fma, those missing details are glaring in the final outcome. At least every fan should read the Ishbal Genocide volumes.

Yu Yu Hakusho

AKA THE ULTIMATE SHOUNEN. Sorry DB.

Yes I'm also weak for shounens stop judging me. This manga follows 14 year old teenage delinquent Yusuke Urameshi, who surprises not only his classmates, teachers and neighbours by dying jumping in front of a car to save a little boy, but also the gods themselves. A little boy who according to the celestial records wasn't even supposed to die. Yusukes death tho is only the beginning to an amazing journey.

Of all the mangas I'm recommending this is the only one that has an accurate anime adaptation. I adore the anime to pieces, but I always return to the manga.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles

Of course I had to pick something of CLAMP and after some deliberation TRC won. It's like the biggest crossover but not really mess those four crazy women had ever created and it's wonderful. To fully understand what's happening you should read tsubasa with it's twin brother, XXX Holic. Both series have to be read in order to comprehend the whole story.

DON'T WATCH THE ANIME ITS THE WORST THING EVER.

TRC follows the story of four travellers - and Mokona!-who are, all for different reasons, on a quest to recover all the feathers of Princess Sakuras memories that scattered all over the universe. But this is CLAMP we are talking about. Their only pure story is CCS. The blood and tears and suffering and amazing plot twists are a garantee.

As a color note: I cried just by SEEING the first two panels of the chapter 1. I lost count of all the times I sobbed bc of this manga.

Shingeki no Kyojin

Well if you are following me you know this story currently owns my soul. Even if you like the anime a lot I recommed reading the manga since the beginning bc the anime team changed and ommited a lot of scenes and interactions. Honestly if it wasn't for the amazing voice acting and soundtrack I wouldnt bother with the anime at all the manga is richer. But yeah read this beauty.

Shaman King

Another shounen. And my emotional comfort manga. It's just so refreshing and sweet and honestly all the characters are sweethearts and incredibly written. Also the story like incorporates so many different types of religious and supernatural facets without being convulted or disrespectful.

If you only watched the anime drop everything and experience first hand how they butchered it.

Fruits Basket

I've only known this baby for less than a month and already made it into my all time fav mangas. It's probably one of the best mangas I have read in YEARS. AND IT'S SO OLD. WHERE WERE YOU 13 YEARS AGO FURUBA I COULD HAVE USED SOME OF YOUR WONDERFUL LESSONS.

Anyway yeah this shit is amazing and Yuki Sohma deserves the world. That's all I have to say about it bc the reboot is airing. Also don't watch the old anime version it's cringey and sucks.

There you have it anon. These are my all time fav mangas ever. I could have added a lot more titles but nah, this is enough. All these mangas ar5w not only excelent but also very dear to my heart. I can only speak from my experience, but I can assure you there's no way someone can have a bad time reading any of these.

I'll do the anime list later this week. Thanks for asking!!!

[radishesx]

June 23, 2016🍁 I’m so high right now. Wow.. I know telling you this stuff is bad because you get mad at me.. But I just kept picturing what it would like to be high with you. Just smiling and laughing and just relaxing with you. It would be fantastic. Spending any time with you would be. I love you so much. Like I don’t want you to move on.. Love me. Be in love with me like I am with you. It’s funny because like I’ll never tell you how I really feel. That’s why I am messaging you now and telling you that I’m high when I shouldn’t be. It’s because I need to get it out so I don’t message you high. BECAUSE one it’s too late and two.. Like you don’t want me texting you. If you missed me you would text me.. But maybe you are thinking the same thing. If I missed you I would try to get you. Like try to reach you. And I do.I just want you to miss me too. You are the sexiest person alive. But imma stop now because it will turn 😏real quick so I love you baby girl. HA YOY PICKED TODAY TO MESSAGE ME. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. I mean I said a few things I wanted you to know. That I wouldnt have said if i wasn’t blah. But fuck! Now I scared you away for sure. I asked if you could come see me so we can just tlak but YOUU probably in bed now. Fuck I want to talk to you. I have been waiting all summer to talk to you. And that’s it. You ask for an email and then don’t want to talk to me. Fuck. You are amazing. I have lost you haven’t I… I dream about this all the time. Talking to you and shit. I wish this was a dream. You didn’t message me and yu will someday telling me that you miss me.. I wish you would. You looked at my message but you are just ignoring me I’m sorry.. I asked you to talk to me.. I know you won’t I just..god you promised you would come see me.. Can’t you just do one thing for me.. And just talk with me.. Just let me get all this off my chest… Please..

[radishesx]

May 12, 2016⚪️🔴🔵 You took my breath away.. At that concert.. You made me fall right back into you when you wanted me… But when I want you.. You aren’t there again.. You got the boxes.. So good luck. Something happened with Parker and I was upset, about to cry and you sat and talked with me. It was nice. Someone to listen to me.. Hunter walked over and like.. We were in the middle of a conversation but you just sprung up and kissed him and left.. Without even a fucking goodbye.. Shows how unimportant I am to you.. I’m nothing to you.. Just someone that you can play with.. Love them then leave them.. That’s why I cried that night. Because I knew you would do this… You always just leave right after making me tingle under you.. Why am I not good enough… Why can’t you just fucking love me damn it.. Why did yu have to do that.. Right in front of me.. You initiated the kiss too.. Knowing I was right there.. Why do you have to fuvking hurt me like that.. Just tell me why you had to do that… Why… You want to have sex with him.. Kiss him. Go the fuck ahead but why do you have to hurt me like that? Seems purposefully.. We were fuvking talking and it took you like 4 seconds to get up and leave.. Like what I have to say doesn’t matter.. Worst part is.. I’m your slave and when you miss my kiss I’ll fall right back into you.. And go through this again.. In the moment, I just say please just use me.. Kiss me please. But after… I wish I was strong enough to just be a fling with you.. To let you use me whenever but I’m not strong enough.. I’m sorry.. You texted me saying you were sorry for that and told me you didn’t initiate it.. And then got annoyed when I showed that I was hurt by it :)))) yay It’s late.. I really wish you were here. You are my soft spot. You are my muse. My baby girl.. Though you are not mine. You are still my girl. You always will be.. I see you with hunter.. And yeah maybe he’s not like the other guys.. But when you first talked to me about him.. You talked about his hair or his body. Or about him doing track or working out. But you didn’t tell me about how it felt when he touched you. Or how he brings you flowers. Or how he holds you and you feel safe. Or how he makes you feel like the Only girl.. You didn’t.. But baby I would. He doesn’t deserve you. Doesn’t deserve your heart or your body.. Maybe I have no right to say that because I don’t have a say in your life. And it’s not my decision. But you deserve the world. You deserve someone who is going to give it all for you. I’m having trouble sleeping. It’s about 1am.. Do you think of me when you can’t sleep as much as I think of you ? I was singing and playing guitar and I wish I was singing to you.. Even though I’m not the best singer, I would try my best for you.. You wear those star and moon earnings, thinking that maybe I wouldn’t notice but I do. You push me away because you are afraid but I know you love me. I know you must miss me once in a while if you keep coming back.. I know it must be hard.. But if you Aren’t coming back forever don’t come back for the day. If you are going to leave do not come back.. Do not be back and forth because fuck you are addicting and every time you smile I’m not longer clean from you. Your laugh fills up my lungs like smoke would and you smile breaks down my liver like alcohol. You will never just be Mary Lou Johnson to me.. You are so much more.. I write all this down because I’m afraid to say anything to your face. Also it’s hard to talk to you.. We are never alone and when we are it is merely moments.. Even st he concert I was backing away from you.. Just trying to talk with you but you kept coming in for a kiss.. I want your kisses so much. But I don’t want you for your body.. I want you for you. Your soul. Our long talks and our late night cuddles. Our smiles and our laughs. I want my lover and my best friend. Someone I could trust with my life.. But you are afraid of the emotional. I know you are.. That’s why you would kiss me but you wouldnt hug me. If you hug me you would fall apart in these broken arms of mine but with kisses it’s just lust.. You afraid to talk with me because it will get deep and feelings will come out.. Sex is so much easier.. No feelings attached.. Just physical.. You know I want long hugs and talking about our deepest fears but you won’t give me what I want because you are scared. Scared of getting hurt. Scared of the falling apart of the once, beautiful romance we shared.. Again.. I realize we want two different things.. Or we can handle two different things from each other. But I’m not that girl anymore. The one you first met. Heart of stone. Walks like a God. Flings were what I did and I promised never to fall in love. Because love was unknown. And I never wanted to know it. But you changed me. Completely. And I’m not that girl who can just do this. Just kiss once every couple months and then deal with you push me away. And move away from me until it comes near another time we kiss. Because then we get super close. And then we get super far. I asked you to come visit me.. And you said you would during the summer but how many nights do you think ? And how many nights would you call me up for a booty call instead of talking to me.? How many nights would you drive over here but give yourself a pep talk on the way here to keep your cool? I don’t know.. I’m selfish and I write these things down because I want you to kiss me.. Even if I hurt in the end. And I want you to see me, no matter what the reason. So I keep my feelings here. Hidden away. Because if you read these you would just stop. But I need your presence. Even if it’s not the way I want it…